#lc!blog

[ajoytobeheld]

Ellen: it's been an awfully big adventure

December 7th, 2012

I don’t know how to start this, other then diving right in so….I’ll dive.

It is with a sad face I have to report that I am leaving Los Campesinos!. The show on the 15th of December in London will be my last, and I shall spend it struggling not to cry. Please don’t point out my tears if you come along. Simply pretend it is eye sweat.

Over the last seven years I have been blessed, not by God, because he doesn’t exist, but with opportunities and a life I will not fully appreciate until I am about forty-five. I will look back at old photos of the band, with our smooth skin and questionable hair, and go “fuck me. That was mental.”

The past and present members of Los Campesinos! have been my family for the last seven years and seen me at my lowest, my highest, my most angry, sad, happy, broken, fixed, grown up and immature. They have seen me fail, succeed, let myself and them down, learn the hard way, but they have also seen me grow. And they have always had my back, and I hope, I sincerely hope, I have done my best to have theirs.

There is not a terribly exciting reason for me leaving, (so please start some exciting rumours), I am just going to try something new. Fulfil my ambitions of becoming a failed writer and developing a opium habit. It’s all going to be very retro. I leave with the upmost love and support from the band, but I have requested my replacement not be too cool.

I would say I am sad to go, but that is too simple a word for the variety of emotions I have swimming around my head right now. I am sad, but mostly I am drowning in warm and happy flashbacks, vinaigrette images of us all laughing in the van on long drives across America. Joe Puleo, tour manager, at the front telling a story, Jason playing quizmaster and hosting a game of “Guess the Song,” from an app he has downloaded, and we all scream out responses. Rob taking photos of the scenery on his lomo, Neil watching gangster epics on his laptop, and maybe later on this long long drive Paul and Tom will play Tiger Woods Golf whilst I work out how long I can hold my bladder for before requesting we stop. I was the most frequenter pee needer on long drives. I am not ashamed of this. I owned it.

I felt warm and safe on those drives, listening to everyone tell stories, share experiences, make each other laugh. I am lucky to have shared a hotel room with so many exceptional ladies over the years, Aleks, Harriet and especially Kim, who shared my fear of the cold, love of porridge and put up with my ability to make a mess in any room in under 5 seconds. Starting and ending the day together, we did some good chatting.

I have seen a lot of this world, and I didn’t have to go on a gap year to do it. I have travelled across the breadth and depth of the US and the UK and I have seen a lot of different faces, and sampled a lot of backstage humus.I have seen a lot of graffitied backstage cocks.

I have met and worked with countless wonderful, interesting and horrifically talented people inside the industry, inside the venues, inside the recording studie and inside our practice space. (I won’t gush too much about how talented the people in the band are, you might get diabetes from my sincerity, but it has been a pleasure and a privilege to play the music that Tom writes.)

Also fans. Fans are awesome. You made it possible for us record an album in Seattle. To play a show outside of Wales. To play in a baseball stadium in Japan. A haunted restaurant in Santa Cruz. a handful of US universities and see Mexico! I saw Mexico! You girls and guys are truly humbling, and I hope I never took you for granted too much. I probably did. Thank you for knowing the words, for bringing cakes, and books, and t-shirts, and comics, and buying us drinks and for waiting and driving miles and cheering and clapping. For reading or watching or listening to anything we have ever done. Thanks. You kept us going and will continue to be the life blood of the Los Campesinos! family.

I was trawling through old photos trying to find the best one to represent a start and an ending, but I got lost in old memories and the process of ageing.

(God we looked young, look at our skin! Look at our clothes! Cardigans and ripped up Distillers t shirts, oh I still have that.)

I have eons of photos of the band at the start, at rehearsals, house parties, with experimental hair, (mine black, Gareth long and wispy, Neil’s fringe nearly covering his eyes and Tom always wearing his hat) and at our first shows. I remember when we first started, our summer of label romance where everyone wanted to take us out for a pub meal, and all we ever did was go out in Cardiff drinking and dancing. We said we would change our last names to Campesinos! if we ever played in the states, but we tempted fate, and we never changed out names but we did get to go to America a lot.

I sometimes wonder what alternative universe me would be doing if she didn’t go to that first rehearsal in Ollie’s bedroom. I think she is picking her nose right now in a bath of baked beans, bored and crazy because she spent all day in an office sitting next to a woman who told her about the time she slept with a navy seal. No one cares Brenda.

So 500 plus gigs, millions of air miles, gallons of backstage whisky and wine, a tonne of sweaty cheese and pita bread, a litre of tears shed on stage, hundreds of “don’t fuck up,” panics, hundreds of fuck ups, hundreds of “this is blowing my mind” moments whilst starring into a sea of unfamiliar and impassioned faces, break ups and ill advised hook ups later (don’t date musicians, like ever, we’re all mental,) I realise I have seen all the travel lodges, service stations, and states of America (apart from Alaska) and I have tasted more Marks and Spencer’s meals then I thought possible. I’ve been with some of the finest people I know doing a very unnatural thing, which is both the best and the worst experience and often at the same time, but never the same any given year. And we have done it fucking well. The best we can.

God I’m being dramatic, but I can’t help it, I was a middle child.

So some more self-indulgence.

I want to thank some people for being ace. John Goodmanson – a brilliant producer and a lesson in style and grace under pressure. Joe Puleo – the best tour manager, you never feel anything but safe in his company. Kelly Pickard – inspiration, mentor, wisest woman. Paul Rattcliff- The loyalist soundman whom gives so much. Kev and Alun and Mark Bowen, Wichita, Ben and Vicky, Gareth Dobson, anyone we have toured with or supported or who I have met along the way, everyone I forgot. I haven’t forgot, I am thinking about you.

My mum, because she told me I could be anything and do anything except get my tongue pierced. And I did that anyway, and she still wasn’t mad at me.

And the band.. Kim, Jason, Gareth, Tom, Neil and Rob who I will miss sharing experiences with that no one will understand, I love you guys. Like, loads. From our first Sweet Dreams, until our last, thanks.

Okay, too long, too emo. Bye bye.

Ellen x

[yanaleese]

How would Karma react to Mc wanting him to meet their parents?

[myst-sims]

Time of Your Life Legacy Challenge Spreadsheet Tracker!

Hi! I made a spreadsheet tracker for this VERY extensive and cool legacy challenge made by @aliennooboo. Thank you @mithrasisgay for the suggestion! ♥

Find the spreadsheet here!

To use it, make a copy and fill it out however you want! Each generation has a tab at the bottom.

[meanyart]

Such a nice day to be a normal person with normal feelings about this normal character!

[rendtastic]

@ballcrusher74

that moment when you fall dramatically in front of a mirror huh.

[liu-after-hours-ss2]

Hey how's it goin in the office? Everything alright? Feel like distorting maybe?

Eating a bagel rn. And also Carmen, can you wait for about 5 minutes.

I got work and there I'll maybe go a little insane.

[knight-argenti]

With the start of my banner, I wish everyone good luck!

Whether you are pulling for me or the mysterious miss Jade, I hope you get what you want.

May your pity be early and your Argenti’s many!

[moonstoner-edits]

>> Beginning Stimboard Prompt.

>> Credits: >> X / X / X >> X / o / X >> X / X / X

>> Request: "Hello! Can I request a stimboard of the Bracken from Lethal Company with dark colors? Preferably red and black!" - Anonymous

[two-corpses-in-the-burial-mounds]

It's interesting to me how much of the fandom seems to be convinced that Wei Wuxian has low self-worth, considering that I (having only watched the live-action, admittedly) see very little evidence of this in canon.

I assume this is because of his tendency towards self-sacrifice, which shows up multiple times in canon like with the golden core transfer, but I personally think this is a false equivalence. Yes, Wei Wuxian often makes decisions actively detrimental to his own health and wellbeing; he gives his golden core to Jiang Cheng, he takes a curse from Jin Ling, he takes the Wen brand for Liu Qingyang and he takes a whipping from Madam Yu and considers the loss of a hand for Lotus Pier.

However, in none of these circumstances does this choice seem to be made from a lack of care for himself. Instead, it is usually made because he thinks he can handle the situation better than the person in question. Wei Wuxian thinks that between him and Jiang Cheng, he can better handle not having a golden core. Between him and Jin Ling, he thinks he can overcome the course where Jin Ling cannot. The Wen brand is less premeditated, but again the pattern is clear in that Wei Wuxian makes the choice to take the brand because he thinks having it on his chest is better than Liu Qingyang having it on her face. At the fall of Lotus Pier, Wei Wuxian decides that his pain and his hand is an acceptable loss for the lives of everyone in Lotus Pier.

These acts hurt him, but that is a side effect of a larger goal. The choice to handle these events himself does not indicate a lack of value in himself, but rather a prioritization of other goals. However, there seems to be a common conflation of Wei Wuxian's prioritization of others with his not caring or valuing himself. However, if Wei Wuxian doesn't value himself, then why does he make such an effort to survive for as long as he does? If he does not value his own thoughts and opinions, then why does he argue with Lan Qiren in the Cloud Recesses study arc? The problem is not that Wei Wuxian has low self-worth, it is that Wei Wuxian's decision-making process weighs harm to himself as acceptable in the pursuit of his moral imperatives. He wants to live without regrets and stand with justice, and to stand with justice, sometimes he has to walk a single-plank bridge. Necessarily, that will sometimes hurt him.

I suspect this association of Wei Wuxian's sacrificial acts as indicative of low self-worth stems from modern Western storytelling practices, which are deeply interested in the psychology of our characters. Recent media has been interested in the consequences of heroism on the hero themself and fandom especially is heavily interested in the psychological ramifications of these actions on characters. There's an idea that's been popular lately that extreme heroism is inherently self-destructive, and the solution to this is to raise a character's self-worth to convince them that they, too, are worth saving.

Now, whether this applies to Wei Wuxian is up to interpretation. However, he views his actions as correct in many of the sacrificial cases indicated above and these choices are framed by the narrative as being in some way noble. I don't think it's radical to suggest that the above actions cause harm to Wei Wuxian's self; that is not in question. I do, however, doubt that increasing Wei Wuxian's self-worth would change any of these decisions. He isn't throwing himself into harm's way because he believes his life is worth less than those he is taking harm for, he does it because he understands the harm he is incurring and chooses to take it upon himself because he thinks it minimizes the harm that would be done.

Rather than leaving the Jiang sect leader without a golden core, or a child with a very dangerous curse, or a young female cultivator permanently disfigured, or allowing Lotus Pier to be attacked and slaughtered, Wei Wuxians chooses to accept consequences in their place. It is more difficult to replace a sect leader than a head disciple. It is more difficult for Jin Ling to overcome the curse, so Wei Wuxian does it in his place. It is less consequential for a young male cultivator to take that brand to the chest than for a Liu Qingyang to be disfigured unjustly, so he does. It is more important than him, as a singular disciple, that Lotus Pier is safe. This is how Wei Wuxian approaches these problems.

Raising Wei Wuxian's self-worth would not change the reasoning behind these choices. He would not revisit these situations and decide to take a different course of action due the inherent value of himself as a person. His value as a person has always been part of the equation, but it is not his priority.

Self-sacrifice does not inherently equal unwellness. Recent trends in Western storytelling suggest that self-sacrifice is both admirable, but an indicator that a person is struggling. However, there are other models of heroism. There are other sets of values. In some moral systems, the willingness to commit self-sacrifice, even when a person does want to live and does value themself, is an admirable virtue. This appears to be the framework that Wei Wuxian is working within.

Does self-sacrifice inherently mean that a person does not value themself? I don't think so. But it's interesting that a lot of people seem to think it does.

-- Right Corpse

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm gonna briefly chime in Right Corpse's post here with my thought as an Asian person:

I totally agree with what RC said here. I don't think self-sacrificing should be conflated with low self-worth. A person can view themselves as noble, upstanding and honorable (which, inherently is a very confident mindset) and be self-sacrificing as a result of that mindset, because helping others in spite of yourself in a dire situation is essentially a very noble trait.

And I'm glad RC brought up Western storytelling practices, because I thought the difference between Western and Eastern's mentality is exactly where this discourse came from. Western mentality is individualism-based, and Eastern mentality is more collectivism-based. Western mentality values individual's well-being, rights and freedom, while Eastern mentality values the well-being of group/societal-unit as a whole. I'm not saying one is better than other, I'm simply pointing out that it makes sense for Wei Wuxian to act the way he did given the setting of the story, regardless of his own view of himself. No matter how much self-worth a person has, growing up in this setting means the expectation is that you'd always put the clan's well-being, your family's well-being above your own. Filial piety is a very heavy expectation in this society, clan loyalty is a very heavy expectation in this world.

A noble, morally-upstanding cultivator who pride himself as such should be doing what Wei Wuxian was doing. And a big part of the MDZS story is definitely a criticism toward all of the clans and cultivators, who call themselves all those traits and did the opposite. Wei Wuxian saved Jiang Cheng not only because he viewed Jiang Cheng as his brother, but also because saving the leader of your clan when you have the mean to was the right thing to do, both for your leader but most importantly, for the clan as a whole, for the region of Yunmeng. Hundreds of people rely on the Jiang family and Lotus Pier, and Jiang Cheng is the figurehead of it. You can argue that Wei Wuxian can take over if JC is indisposed, but that's not how it works, that's not how politics works. So Wei Wuxian made the best choice for the collective given the circumstances, even if that came as a cost to him, and to circle back to what RC said earlier, Wei Wuxian calculated the risk and believed that he can handle that cost, and he did.

Similarly, Wei Wuxian saved Jin Ling because he believed as an adult, he could handle the risk better than a child like Jin Ling, and as a man, he could live with a scar rather than a young woman like Mianmian. In fact, I think he took pride in himself in all of these instances. He didn't boast about them to other people, but I think he's proud of himself that he can live according to his principles and never fail them.

-- Left Corpse

[hypodermicfroggy]

Since LobCorp and Ruina just went on sale and I know not everyone can afford them (even on sale), I thought I'd reach out and post my community guide in more places to help.

So I decided to try and look in on the PM Community Hub discord. That was a mistake. Five minutes in there, and I don't know how anyone can genuinely tolerate it. Those people are absolute fucking animals.

[ajoytobeheld]

Gareth Campesinos!' Records of 2011

December 21st, 2011

An over-cooked documentation of the albums/EPs/records I have got most enjoyment from over the past 12 months. I think this year’s been a pretty exciting one for the evolution of my musical tastes and interests, as I’ve found hardly a single thing ‘guitar record’-wise that has stirred any emotion in me (a couple of notable exceptions to be found within here, however) and so have opened up to new ideas and sounds. I attempted to write a bit about each record, I tried REALLY hard, but one of the things I loathe most is people who have no ability to write about music having music blogs, and though I’m never usually shy to embrace hypocrisy, I stood firm here.

I’d be totally interested in hearing any recommendations you might have for me, from this year or any other, based on this list. Cheers guys,

G

Araab Muzik – Electronic Dream

ASAP Rocky – Live Love ASAP

Clams Casino – Instrumental Mixtape

Danny Brown – XXX

Destroyer – Kaputt

Drake – Take Care

Laurel Halo – Hour Logic

Tim Hecker – Ravedeath, 1972

Julia Holter – Tragedy

How To Dress Well – Just Once EP

Machinedrum – Room(s)

Prurient – Bermuda Drain

Shabazz Palaces – Black Up

Slow Club – Paradise

The Weeknd – House Of Balloons

[yanaleese]

What would Karma do if he found out they either attempted to or killed his darling xaxi? :0

Well...

I don't think Karma will keep Kallisto nor himself alive.

In other words, he'll self-detonate maybe.

[randomly-generated-posts-machine]

2 cups of smut 500 grams of film noir aesthetic and a teaspoon of magic and you got yourself a time of ones life

[meanyart]

to get a better look at you

[daily-linkclick]

thank you everyone for following this blog for the daily doodles! i think i'll officially stop the daily doodles (for now) but i'll still be uploading doodles from time to time! i'm so happy to see a lot more link click fans on tumblr, and to see a lot more people appreciate the trio and the stories they touch :]

[brokerplushsg]

RANT TIMEEEE

I just went for my listening comprehension test and I HATE IT

90% IF NOT ALL OF THE GOSH DANG DIALOGUES WENT "BLAH BLAH BLAH ACTUALLY ITS NOT THAT BLAH BLAH BLAH" AND SOME OF THE OPTIONS WE ARE GIVEN ARE HARD TO DECIPHER

LITERALLY THE FIRST QUESTION WE GOT IN SECTION A IS SOMETHING ALONG THE LINES OF "WHICH PART OF THE JOURNEY DID THE CHARACTER FIND HARDEST" AND ONE OPTION WAS VAGUE LIKE "FACING AGAINST DIFFICULT CIRCIMSTANCES" AND NOT MENTIONED AT ALL IN THE DIALOGUE WHILE ALL OTHER 3 WERE MENTIONED, BUT THE CHARACTER SAID THAT THEY WERE ABLE TO DEAL WITH ALL THOSE PROBLEMS SO WHATS THE ANSWER HELLO????

IN THE SECOND SECTION, LITERALLY 3 OF THE CHARACTERS MENTIONED SOMETHING ALONG THE LINES OF THE SAME PHRASE AND ONLY 1 OF THEM IS CORRECT, I DUNNO HOW TO DESCRIBE THIS PART OF THE PAPER TO NON SINGAPOREANS BUT STILL-

YOU KNOW ITS HARD WHEN EVEN THE 3RD SECTION, SECOND HARDEST PART OF THE PAPER, IS THE EASIEST IN MY OPINION, AT LEAST ASIDE FROM THE VARIOUS "ERM ACTUALLY" MOMENTS AT LEAST IT WAS MOSTLY STRAIGHT FORWARD AND ALL I HAD TO DO WAS WRITE DOWN THE RELEVANT INFORMATION TO FILL THE NOTES, THANK YOU MS ALICIA BUT SCREW YOU FOR SAYING "UH, NO, UH ACTUALLY YES, UH NO" BLAH BLAH BLAH

THE LAST QUESTION IS THE HARDEST, OFC, YOU ONLY GET TO HEAR THE DIALOGUE ONCE UNLIKE THE PREVIOUS PARTS WHERE YOU ARE GIVEN THE GRACE OF LISTENING TO IT TWICE BUT THERE IS A DIFFERENT REASON TO WHY ITS THE HARDEST AS THERE WAS ONE PART OF THE QUESTION WHERE THEY ASKED LIKE "OH WHEN THE SPHERES WERE FIRST DISCOVERED THEY WERE ABOUT THE SIZE OF BASKETBALLS BUT THE SMALLEST SIZE WAS TENISBALLS BUT BIGGEST SIZE WAS ABOUT ASIAN ELEPHANT SIZE BUT THE AVERAGE SIZE WAS AN ADULT HUMAN" OR SOMETHING MORE COFUSING THAN WHAT I WROTE HERE, AND THE MF QUESTION WAS SOMETHING ALONG THE LINES OF "THE SMALLEST SIZE OF THE SPHERES IS _____ AND THE AVERAGE _____" SO I JUST GUESSED "BASEBALL" AND "ADULT HUMAN" AUGHHHH, EVERYONE HATED THAT QUESTION, NOT ONLY IN MY SCHOOL'S COHORT BUT ALL MY PEERS FROM ALL OTHER SCHOOLS IN SINGAPORE

TLDR: WHAT THE HECK WAS CAMBRIDGE EXAMINERS ON WHEN WRITING THESE QUESTIONS

Anyways, at least my dear baby boy will never have to experience my pain <3