#save forever and ever 😭💗!!!

[sunflawyer]

Dropping this by along with a hug 🫂🧡

GATE 😭😭😭 DID YOU JUST MAKE THIS GIF FOR ME 🥹🥹🥹💞💞💝💝💗💝💗💝💗💗💞💞💗 THIS IS SO SWEET I LOVE YOU SO SO MUCH GATEE AWAAAAHH WAAAHHH😭😭😭😭😭😭💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗

JIMMY.... SAVE ME FROM THE BAD BULLIES... SAVE ME...!!! •́⁠ ⁠ ⁠‿⁠ ⁠,⁠•̀!!

this is so dear to me I'll cherish this forever 😭😭😭💗💗 whenever i get sad or upset ill just see this gif and know that he'll always be here for me, no matter what....! 🥹💝

[whereismyhat5678]

I WAS FEATURED WHAT I WAS FEATURED OMG???? I WASNT ON TUMBLR THE ENTIRE DAY BUT I GET ON TO SEE THIS OMG IM SO FLATTERED DUDE THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!

YOU GOT THE STYLE SO RIGHT IM ANALYZING EVERYTHING I LOVE HOW YOU DID THE MOUTH THE LITTLE SPOTS HE HAS ON HIS CHIN HOW I DRAW HIS EYES AND HIS HAR AND HIS HAT AND DJSBDKWNDLJWXOJWMDOWKLDJWLDJWLWJDOENDKSJDOEK

I’m so incredibly flattered if you couldn’t tell THANK YOU SO MUCH AHHHHHHHHHHHH-

*screams into the abyss with joy*

< Previous Next >

Nothing special today so I drew Peppino in bunch of different artists' style not tagging them because eh.. didn't put much effort

New to the blog? Check this out

🩵Art requests🩵→CLOSED

❤️Art trades❤️→OPEN

[pierregazly]

a diamond's gotta shine ꨄ lance stroll smau

lance stroll x fem!reader

pic credit: pinterest

i know lance is daddy's money through and through (and i love a nepo baby sorry), but he is so 'my love language is gift giving so i'm going to spoil my girlfriend with everything i can' boyfriend material so here's that basically

yourusername

liked by lance_stroll, chloestroll, estebanocon, and 467,891 others

yourusername he ALWAYS let me drive the truck... sorry taylor

view all 1,347 comments

lance_stroll it is not a truck and PLEASE stop eating in the aston martin

lance_stroll at least stop eating in it without me

chloestroll wouldn't want a matcha date with anyone else 💗

liked by yourusername and 462 others

username imagine just casually eating fruit in a literal aston martin??? i dont even eat fruit in my car in fear of everything getting sticky 😭

username i want her life so bad

lance_stroll

tagged yourusername

liked by yourusername, chloestroll, fernandoalo_oficial, and 1,206,708 others

lance_stroll spent the last 2 years with her shoes in my hands after nights out, hoping for a hundred more

view all 9,071 comments

yourusername i am SO obsessed with you

yourusername even after 2 years, gonna be obsessed with u forever lance_stroll wouldn't have it any other way

username the toaster and i have a hot date with the bathtub tonight

username the things i would do to have lance stroll hold my shoes in his million dollar hands after a night out :(

username i want someone to love me even half as much as lance loves y/n ugh

chloestroll i taught you well

yourusername

tagged lance_stroll

liked by lance_stroll, yourfriend, estebanocon, and 450,687 others

yourusername all i asked for was a picture, and he decided to give me 2 years of his life and his heart. i'll love you til my lungs give out.

view all 3,491 comments

username all she asked for was a PICTURE 😭 and he gave her his heart 😭 and she'll love him til her lungs give out 😭

username im literally throwing up, sobbing, screaming, dying at this caption

lance_stroll my heart has been yours since the day you blew my breath away

liked by 5,782 users

username i usually hate lovey-dovey couples but these two... girl they got me wanting to be adopted frfr

username im calling it... girlypop's gonna have a ring by year 3 for sure

lance_stroll

liked by yourusername, mickschumacher, chloestroll, and 203,456 others

lance_stroll yeehaw

view all 2,340 comments

username this is such a look... are we sure this man isn't from alberta

yourusername i will save all the horses if it means i get to ride this cowboy

username y/n.... estebanocon there are children on this app

username i was literally waiting for that y/n comment... these two are disgustingly unhinged

yourusername has added a story

liked by lance_stroll, chloestroll, and others

replies

lance_stroll why didn't you post the pic of both of us in the bath :(

yourusername i wasn't trying to traumatize your family my love lance_stroll u posted that you're going to 'ride this cowboy' but a pic of me in the bath is too much?

yourusername

tagged lance_stroll

liked by lance_stroll, scottyjames31, chloestroll, and 102,340 others

yourusername do you think i get to meet emily in paris or am i stuck with lance

view all 1,341 comments

lance_stroll i just bought you that croissant and coffee and this is what i get as thanks????

yourusername i am so obsessed w u im sorry my favourite cowboy 🥺

username this is so wholesome lance is so boyfriend coded im crying

username y/n is literally living her best life ever i want to be her so bad

scottyjames31 i just know all of these photos were taken at least 75 times

yourusername mind ur own business scotty

lance_stroll and yourusername

liked by chloestroll, estebanocon, mickschumacher and 2,304,550 others

lance_stroll watching you walk down the aisle will make me the luckiest man alive

view all 6,789 comments

estebanocon did you pay her to say yes?? congratulations you two 🥂

chloestroll even though i helped plan this entire thing i STILL cried on the phone. so happy for you both!!

username this man bought her like 5k worth of goodies and then put a RING that's probably worth my yearly salary on her finger??? god has chosen his favourite

yourusername im so lucky to be the one you've chosen to spend the rest of your life with. je t'aime 💗

taglist

@leclercdream @myescapefromthislife @leclerces

i didnt tag anyone that specifically requested in the replies to be tagged for 'to live for the hope of it all' and all its parts (mostly bc idk how taglists work and i dont wanna bother yall), so if you'd like to be on my taglist for everything please send me a quick ask/dm (or u can just reply and say you'd like to be tagged for everything)! thank you for all the love

[imnameimswrld]

ⵌ ׄ ۪ 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑 ⁵⁵ ׄ ⑅ CS55 ‌˖ ֺ ᰮ

— DESCRIPTION ੭ a crossover no one was expecting, yn and carlos shock the world with their relationship reveal; a romance stemming from a summer away.

— PAIRING ੭ carlos x fem!singer!reader

— FILE ੭ social media au.

— WARNINGS ੭ none.

— FACE CLAIM ੭ park jihyo ❪ twice ❫.

━━━━━━━━━━❪ 🖤 ❫━━━━━━━━━━

ynupdates

liked by ynlovergirl, linmissesyn, and 12 363 others

ynupdates y/n makes a long awaited appearance to the public after 7 months !!! she's back, and gorgeous as ever attending the f1 grand prix in monaco ! welcome back yn ❤ !

#yn #ynln #ynupdates #formulaone #f1

View all comments

cami ♡'s yn OMG THE QUEEN IS BACK !!!

chuu I smell new music cookin' already

ynlove why is no one talking abt the fact that SHE'S AT AN F1 RACE !?!?

rari I know right !? my worlds are literally colliding right now and I don't know how to handle it

sf_jenni RIGHT !?!? omg, I wonder if she'll sit in the paddocks ? and if so, where...

ynusername added to their story !

ynusername

liked by carlossainz55, yukitsunoda0511, and 3 267 378 others

ynusername and at every table, I'll save you a seat, lover... 💙💗

View all comments

ynisback oh don't mind me as I silently scream in this here corner 🧍‍♀️

carlossainz55 can we always be this close forever and ever ?

holly uhh... ARE THESE LYRICS !?

ynupdates OMG WAIT-

yeet the queen is BACK

carlossainz55

liked by charles_leclerc, fernandoalo_oficial, and 1 345 289 others

carlossainz55 and take me out, and take me home...you're my lover 💙💗

View all comments

landonorris okay so when's the wedding then ?

ferarricar okay wait a damn min-

ynupdates these HAVE to be lyrics ???

ferarricar oh no doubt about it !!!

ynusername

liked by landonorris, lilymhe, and 4 368 468 others

ynusername Lover, the single, out this Friday 💙💗

View all comments

carlossainz55 mi amante 💖

lilymhe I AM SO EXCITED GIRL 😭

ynusername ahhhh I love you lily !!! lunch friday for pre-release drinks ????

lilymhe you know it !!

alex_albon anyone else living for this friendship ? coz I am

booboo I. AM. NOT. READY.

————————————————————————

a/n: tysm for reading ! I hope you're all looking after yourselves, hope those who celebrate thanksgiving had a good one ♡ !!!

[snowyroads]

I feel so greedy after reading your latest fic, I WANT MORE. 💀 I absolutely loved it, I appreciate that you write our boys in a way that feels realistic. Sometimes I think it’s hard to write dialogue for NFL fics that doesn’t seem odd or forced but I can really see Joe and Ja’Marr in your writing. Hence why I can’t wait for whatever you write next 🥲💜 AMAZING WORK

HAHAHAHA 😭😭🤭 don’t feel bad for being greedy anon!!! I love writing!! <333 (im insane 😵‍💫)

BUT i have a TON of wips rn and i literally keep writing little by little for each because im too obsessed w wanting to finish all of them!!!😔 AND THEN things like last week happened where i get the strongest urge ever to write just about one fic and all my attention is on that one wip 😭 (neglecting the poor others 😾)

so here’s a list of some of the wips i got going on rn: (putting a cut cuz i yap)

1. a joemarr time travel au that has been in the works since october that the wonderful chasedeys came up w and let me write a version of it!!! (she probably doesn’t even remember me asking to write about it cuz it’s been so long 😭😭)

it’s also taking forever because i want it to be multiple chapters and who knew how hard it would be to write the pov’s between the past and the future 😮‍💨😮‍💨 (so this one is most likely going to be my next post because imma put out a couple chapters at different times!!!)

2. a koc/jj smutty Christmas fic 😼😼 (I CANT FOR THE LIFE OF ME figure out how to write a player/couch dynamic) every time i think im getting the hang out it, i reread it and delete it cuz i hate it😭😭 so that one might take a while!!

3. stef/josh angsty reunion. basically they see each other again, outside of the football field (maybe during offseason or sum??) and they finally talk about everything yk?? just a very emotional fic tho with all the angsty and eventually fluff (and probably smut 😭)

4. another stef/josh EXCEPT it has nothing to do with football and it’s a Hallmark au. like city boy Stefon meets farmer boy Josh out in butt fuck nowhere after Stefon’s plane has to have an emergency landing due to weather or some shit like that. and it’s all the cliches of a Hallmark movie. the small town community, trying to save the local bakery, Stefon not liking Christmas that much, Josh teaching him Christmas is more than just Santa and presents, it’ll even start snowing when the kiss. like i wanna go full out!!

but that ones gonna take a while too cuz it would be fully from scratch and i wouldn’t have anything to go off of (if that makes sense??😭)

5. Joemarr in France during the Paris fashion week!!! this was actually asked by an anon a while ago and i still haven’t finished it😔 (IM SO SORRY ANON!!!😓) but basically it’s them in France together and just up to no good yk?? (plus some smut cuz Ja’marr wouldn’t be able to hold himself back after see Joe’s outfit!!!)

SOOO, i have all these wips in my drafts, waiting to be typed upon 😼 CUZ THEY WILL ALL COME OUT EVENTUALLY!!! 🫡🫡

anywhoooo, does this even answer ur question anon??😭😭 TYSM for the compliment btw!! <3333 love you guys!!!💗💗

[merry-andrews]

OH MY GOSH IT'S THE PRETTIEST GIF EVER!!!!!!!! @vergeltvng I LOVE YOUUUU!!!!!😭😭😭💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗 IT'S SOOOO GORGEOUS AND LOVELY AND GGGRRRRRRR SO SO PRECIOUS!!!!! I ADORE IT WITH ALL MY HEART!!! OH MY GOD I DON'T DESERVE SUCH A CUTE GIFT!!!! THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!!!😭😭😭😭🥺🥺💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜

I'm the upgrade. @homelander-rp-blog

[blacksapphhicmaddonna]

CHAPTER ONE - WHAT I HAVE TO DO.

a/n: hey y'all! so, I tried to post this in response to the anon who asked for a snippet but I saved it as a draft and Tumblr ate it😭 SO THIS IS DEDICATED TO YOU, ANON, WHOEVER YOU ARE!! sorry babes!💔💖💖💖💖

its been a minute since I've written anything fully, this was fun!!! as always, please ignore any grammar/syntax/spelling. I proof read it but you feel me. I'm super excited to be writing something so long and multi chaptered and definitely out of my comfort zone! am I an action girly now? LMFAO but anyway, I'm super open to any feedback and 👀 as always, if you wanna see sum, say sum.

anyway, I love my science gays and I will stan shuriri forever. this is pretty much all angst at this point❤️‍🩹, but I truly hope you enjoy LMFAOOO. lmk how you feel.💗 (and yes, I love a good flashback real bad and ima do it every time if I can. not too much on me LMFAO)

✮ taglist: @mybonafidefeelings@zeezeecave@gr00vyminibus@lppriceisright@darkangelchronicles@princessmel-1995@xenaizogie@nanii2x, and tagging a few folks that enjoyed the sneak peak and a few shuriri/shuri/riri folks who might! @karimwillia @inmyheadimobsessed@mal-urameshi@somethingcleaverandwhitty@imjusthere2readbruv@imagineandwrite there's more but my computer glitching so we gonna get this show on the road! lmk if you'd like to join the taglist or check the link in my tagged post! love y'all, muah

✮ word count: 11,193

✮ panther divider: @firefly-graphics

✮ some of the xhosa translations are from @iinkonde! here's where you can find some of their amazing resources: 1 2 3

Shuri paced the room that seemed to be growing smaller by the millisecond around her, searching for something - anything - inside of the brain most people considered the smartest in the universe to offer the scientist in front of her. She found nothing but the desperation she had been pushing down since the moment they met.

A desperation that mirrored the effects of the herb she had reproduced, also made from the desperation to save something that she felt was slipping through her fingers at the time. Just like the herb had found its way through her body when she first took it, this feeling spread from her throat as she choked when their eyes met as she pushed herself into the dorm room she was once again standing in. Down to her chest, pulling heart strings she didn’t know she had. Plucking them in a rhythm that felt intrinsic, ancestral, almost painful in the way that they made everything feel superimposed. She resisted, but she felt her toes and she felt her finger tips and she felt the curls framing her face dance above her eyes ever so gently. It spread through every atom that comprised the panther and she could barely breathe. She felt everything and she felt nothing, like she was sinking in an ocean of clouds. She could barely look at the woman who was staring back at her with a look of confusion, and an equal desperation that she couldn't explain.

Shuri still had nothing to offer in terms of speech. She paced at a speed that had only just registered as super fucking fast, clearly adding to the concern building in Riri's eyes.

"Shuri-" Riri started, but couldn't even try to finish as her voice had triggered the awaiting and building eruption in Shuri that it always did. Riri, if she did anything to Shuri, she made her feel things she wasn't used to feeling.

"Anything you want, just name it. It's yours. I'll make it happen. I'll build it myself. Just please don't do this. Please." Shuri froze in her place, finding herself begging for something she couldn't explain. She knew she was almost yelling at the other woman, which she would never do but she couldn't find the part of her that could compose herself. She was thankful for the kimoyo beads she had scattered in the room when she entered, enabling a silencing mode and cutting through anything that the government had tapped in Riri's room.

Riri froze too, only moving to fumble with her fingers nervously. She didn't have anything to offer the panther, the queen standing in front of her. She didn't have anything to comfort her friend. The woman she loved more than she could explain. More than almost anything. 

"I don't... I don't want anything from you, Shuri... We both knew this day was coming. You had to have thought about it. I thought you were.. I don’t know... It almost felt like-"

"Please, Ri. Please. Just find something and I'll do it. I'll make it myself if I have to. Please just find something else."

"I don't want... I don't understand, Shuri. We only talked about this like twice, I didn't even think you cared that much or even had time to care about it... or me, really. Just... lets just sit down for a second." Riri tried to redirect, trying to give herself time to figure out what was going on. She felt her mind trying to run back through memories and conversations the two had shared in the past year and some change, but it was few and far between that they ever really had time to talk about their lives in depth lately. At first, they talked a lot after they had finally reconnected. They had even spent a few nights together. But lately, Shuri had been working a lot and it seemed like their connection was running dry. Riri had shared her plans a few months ago and hadn't really heard much back from the woman standing in front of her looking like she was fighting a battle she wasn't sure she'd win. Riri had committed herself to this, to showing up and doing what she felt she needed to do to make up for all the ruin she had caused - or at least what she thinks she caused. And now Shuri was trying to offer her a chance out of it. She didn't know what to do or what to think. That's something she felt often with the panther, she figured out. She had zoned out for only a split second before Shuri was grabbing her wrists and looking in her eyes.

"Riri, I'm begging you." Shuri stared into the Iron Heart's eyes, searching for something she knew she was missing. Something she needed the way she needed air, she felt. Riri searched back, trying to decipher something Shuri wasn't ready to let her see.

"Shuri, you know I feel responsible... But, I just.. I don't understand what's going on. What's wrong? Please just talk to me. It's okay." Riri tried to pull them closer, tried to grab the Panther's hand but her grip was too tight around her wrists. Shuri relaxed it, she hadn't intentionally been holding on so tight but she wasn't ready to let go. She's never been ready to let go of who she loves. She saw that same resolute look in Riri's eyes that was always there when she was sure about something. It broke something in Shuri that she knew she couldn't mend on her own. One final try, she told herself.

"I will give you anything under the sun. Please just don't go to them. Don’t go to him. I- I know you're trying to help and change things for the better, and you will. But not like this. Not until it's safe. He will find you, Riri. He will do anything to get to you and to get back at me. You know this and you still choose to go? You don’t have to make this easy for him. We can figure this out a different way. Please. I will give you access to all the technology Wakanda has to offer, just please find something else to focus on, to take place of this. Please."

Riri tried to pull her closer again but the panther moved back, sending a shiver of rejection up Riri's spine.

"I don't want anything from you, Shuri... I just want you. I- I mean I just want you to-"

Shuri felt her body getting hot and somehow freezing at the same time. Riri just wanted her? But she also wanted to go on this suicide mission, which is what it was regardless of what Riri thought of it. She fought back the defensiveness she felt crawling up her throat like it always did when she was hurt. She didn't want to lash out on Riri, she only wanted to protect her. She only wanted her to be safe, alive. She only wanted her. But it was to no avail. She felt the ferocious beast pull itself through her. She scorned herself as her words burned their way through her skin, landing on Riri's.

"You just want whatever you want. You just want to fight whatever moral war you have going on because you're the one who survived! You would give up your life for what? For who? Not for my mother! Not for me!"

Riri hadn't noticed the tears stinging down her cheeks until she saw the ones pouring out of Shuri's. It was something she had never seen before. She had seen Shuri lash out, though. She knew this was just the first wall of defense the panther had when she felt hurt, afraid, abandoned. She couldn't take this personally, though she had to fight back the sting of the words as they came at her. She reached out to try and touch the woman in front of her.

"Shuri, please. Let's just ta-"

"What?! Sit and talk? For what? For you to tell me again why you have to do this, why you have to go and die? Do you care so little for me? For yourself?"

"You know that's not true!"

"Why wouldn't it be true?! Ungayenza njani le nto kum!?"

"Please just listen to me! I don't know what's going on but we can talk about it! I'm right here, I'm right here!"

"But you won't be after this! You don't have to do this! Just let me try, let me show you that there's other things to give you purpose, there’s other ways we can handle this! PLEASE!" Shuri felt herself starting to cave in, her chest becoming a cavern filled with the screams of the orphaned girl inside of her. The girl who needed her family. The girl who couldn't save her brother. The girl who was held back from her mother as she drowned. The woman who loves women, specifically the woman in front of her who was planning to give herself up. She couldn't keep it together. She couldn't breathe. She couldn't think.

"That's not for you to decide, Shuri!" Riri shot back, starting to feel the same layer of armor pull itself over her. She didn't like being yelled at. It triggered something in her that she herself had pushed back as far as it would go. She just needed to get Shuri to listen to her.

"I don't care! You can't do this Riri!"

"Please stop yelling at me!" Riri gave in, covering her ears and turning her back to the panther, who felt herself go still. She hadn't meant to unleash this part of herself. She felt embarrassment mixing with her desperation, afraid she had only made things worse. Who was she to be trying to control the actions of a woman she only met a little over a year ago? Who she was just friends with, and barely that if you based it off what normal friendships looked like. They rarely even spoke for longer than a few minutes every couple days and that wasn’t even true anymore. Shuri scorned herself for the time she hadn’t spent with her, for the time she had been forced to spend trying to fix, defend or save her country. She resented her royal blood now more than ever, wishing she could be nothing more than a girl again. Maybe a student. Maybe just different. Shuri felt herself starting to crack, she felt like she would disintegrate if she stood there any longer. She had done enough damage. She and Wakanda and the Talokan had put Riri through enough and she knew that. She could see why Riri would think this guilt was hers to bare but Shuri knew better, knew more secrets. She knew that her father and his father and so on hadn’t handled things right, and no matter the good T’Challa had tried to do - maybe he didn’t do it right either. So now it laid in her hands, forced once again to stand in the way of something she wasn’t ready for. She felt bad for herself, but she felt worse for Riri. She wishes she had never sent her home with the beads, that they had never touched hands, that they had never even met. Maybe if no one ever knew about Vibranium, no one would be trying to take it. Or maybe if the world had always known, if her ancestors had done things differently, this wouldn’t be Riri’s life. She was part of the lost tribe, as N’Jadaka would call it. Maybe he was right. She didn’t know what to think, but she also knew who she was, herself. She was the most powerful person on the surface world and she was the Queen of the most powerful nation in the world. And she was in love, helplessly, with Riri Williams. She would not let her go again.

"I am sorry for coming here and making you upset." Shuri said blankly, masking any emotions she had just shattered into the room as best as she could to regain any self control she had left.

Riri turned around, tears still swelling in her eyes. She hiccuped and it made Shuri's heart pound.

"I-it's okay. I just don't like b-being yelled at. Can we just sit and talk?"

Shuri nodded, knowing Riri needed a minute. Riri turned to grab a blanket off her bed to wrap herself in as she took a seat on the floor in front of her bed. She closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths before motioning to Shuri to sit next to her. Shuri stared at her for a moment too long, before kneeling down next to her. They sat in silence that wasn't comfortable for the first time in a long time. Neither missed this feeling, the feeling of such uncertainty between them. Sure, it was always there, biting at the backs of their minds and hearts. But they had both worked hard to be comfortable with just having what they had. But now more than ever, neither was sure what was really going on. Shuri mirrored Riri, taking a few deep breaths. Riri felt herself relax, misreading the quiet sigh Shuri let out.

"Are we okay? I don't want us to fight. I just... need you to help me understand why you're so upset. It didn't seem like you even really cared about this. I know you've been busy with what you have going on so I just figured this... I.. wasn't really on your radar anymore."

Shuri stayed silent, fighting that feeling nudging her.

"Please say something." Riri pleaded quietly after a few too many more moments of silence. She couldn't stand it. Neither could Shuri. She needed to escape. Get out of the room, out of America. She needed to run and scream and break something. She needed to kill Namor. That was her only option, once again. She knew it would come. She knew the fate of her country would be in the air again, and part of her knew she shouldn’t do it. Equal parts yes and no. Blood on either hand, regardless of what choice she made. But she also knew that Riri's life was once again in question and there was only one answer Shuri would accept. She would deal with the aftermath the same way she had been. She would accept whatever came. She knew she wasn't thinking clearly, that maybe she would be exiled or worse, but she also knew she couldn't live with herself if Riri wasn't alive tomorrow, and that was enough for her right now. If Riri wouldn't listen, then there was only one choice.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you, Riri. It won't ever happen again."

Riri was startled at the sincerity in the Panther's voice. She was confused why that was what Shuri felt she had to focus on in the midst of whatever the hell was going on.

"It's okay, I promise. I'm not mad at you for yelling at me. I'm just confused..."

"It's not okay. This, whatever you're planning, whatever he's planning... None of this is okay." Shuri said, pinching between her eyes as she tried to swallow the same beast from just a few minutes ago.

"Shuri... it's not like before. It's not about him. It's not even just about what happened in Wakanda. You know I'm Iron Heart. You knew I was going to start doing these things at some point. Missions that weren’t just flying around Chicago and Boston stopping robberies. And you know that something has to be done. And I can’t let this go on again when we all know it’s my fault.” Riri sighed. “We all know it is. So, please just try to hear me..."

"I have always heard you, Riri."

Riri digested that sentence with a gulp. She replied after a moment.

"Then let me hear you, for once. Tell me why you're here. Tell me why you're reacting like this. Tell me who you are and what you're feeling. Let me in, Shuri." She said, reaching out to grab Shuri's hand again. The Panther's hand was hot, almost burning. She didn't pull away this time.

"I'm here because I lo-.. Because I won't let this happen." Shuri caught herself before she said something she couldn't explain. Riri looked into Shuri's eyes with a pleading, less sure look. Shuri couldn't hold it this time. She couldn't freeze. She couldn't tell Riri. She reminded herself what happens every time she loves someone. She reminded herself of what she was capable of and what needed to be done. Regardless if Riri ever shared her feelings or not, she would swear her life to protecting the woman until the day she met the ancestors and maybe after if she could. She would do whatever it took, every time, no matter what, she resigned to herself. She squeezed Riri's hand.

"What're you gonna do? Lock me in my room, Shuri? I don't get what's going on!" Riri pleaded.

"I would never. You are not a prisoner or someone I want to control. You are free to do as you please, just as I am. Please understand that much."

"What does that mean... Wait, please don't go!" Riri tugged back at Shuri's hand again as the Panther got up to leave. Shuri looked down at their hands touching, taking in every second that their skin touched. She remembered what it felt like to reconnect after a long time apart. She wishes she could live in it like she had before. She brought their foreheads together and closed her eyes.

"I will protect you with every part of me. The cost will never be too much."

"Shuri, please don't do what I think you're about to do..." Riri pulled Shuri's hands into hers and brought them to the sides of their faces. They were so close they could feel each other's breath on their lips. Riri prayed in her head that Shuri would listen to her, knowing the strength and power the woman in front of her wielded. Shuri choked out a pained laugh before kissing Riri's forehead and pulling away, taking in the scent of Ghanian Shea Butter and the sweet scent Riri always had.

"Andizukuphulukana nawe. Impilo yami ngeke ibe lutho ngaphandle kwakho, Riri Williams."

Before Riri could open her eyes, the Black Panther was gone, the sound of a closing door shaking Riri to her core. She felt like she was in shock, having nothing to do but curl into a ball and pull the blanket around her body, covering her face as she let the rest of the tears fall silently. She laid there for what felt like an eternity until she heard a familiar voice call out to her.

"Miss Williams?" Riri jumped up, running around her room tracking down the voice. She picked up a purple and black kimoyo bead and held it up, suddenly seeing several others connect like magnets from across the other corners of the room.

"Griot?!" Riri both yelled and whispered.

"Hello, Miss Williams. Are you feeling alright?" Griot asked as the AI began taking a scan of her body to check her vitals.

"I've been better... what's going on? Why are you here? Not that it's not nice to... well you get what I mean!"

"It seems you have suffered a panic attack of sorts. Please get some water and take a seat before I proceed."

Riri rolled her eyes with a tired huff, giving in because she knew Griot wouldn't budge until she obliged. She grabbed a half empty bottle of water from her desk and sat back down near her bed, pulling the blanket up around her. She suddenly felt the absence of Shuri in her space and fought back the tears threatening to make way through her as she pulled the bracelet on, watching it activate. She had felt this way before, but it was different now.

"Feeling better, Miss Williams?"

"Just Riri is fine, and I guess. Can you explain what's going on now, please Griot?"

"Yes, Miss Riri." Griot replied as a hologram of Stark Tech floated in front of the scientist. She felt even more confused.

"Why are you showing me Stark Tech?"

"The panther has created and assigned your own AI for you, it's name is VIV. It is nearly identical to the JARVIS, or Vision, that Tony Stark had. It has been being developed for over a year, and seems to have just finished."

"What the fu-"

"The Panther also has an updated version of your vibranium Iron Heart suit on it's way to your lab location, or garage currently. She has given you access to me as well, with some restrictions. She has instructed me to inform you of this when the AI download is complete."

Riri sat in even more shock than she was in before. She was even more confused about Shuri's intentions now. More confused about her feelings, than anything. She replayed the words the panther had said to her before she left, she knew some Xhosa but it wasn’t great. 

"Can you translate what Shuri said to me in Xhosa before she left, Griot?" Riri asked, hoping for some clarity. Griot calculated for a moment, before answering.

"It would seem I am not permitted to complete that task at this time, Miss Riri."

Riri felt a pang of frustration rise in her, as she let out a laugh.

"Of course not... Can you tell me where the panther is right now?"

Griot took a moment again before answering.

"The Queen was on her way back towards Wakanda as of her last status, but it would seem she has powered off her location devices. Would you like me to contact her for you?"

Riri sat for a moment, considering her options and her own feelings.

"No, that's alright Griot. We're going to my lab. Can you help me boot up VIV when we get there? We're going on a trip."

"As you wish, Miss Riri."

Riri stood up, grabbing a hoodie and sliding on some J's. Before she walked out the door, she slid on the kimoyo beads and asked a final question.

"Oh, one last thing Griot. Can you turn on privacy mode? I would like my location hidden from everyone, including the Panther. Can you do that?"

"It seems I can, but I would not advise that action Miss Riri. There are safety protocols in place that the Panther can activate for you remotely."

"That's fine, just turn it on. I have my own safety protocols."

"As you wish, Miss Riri."

"Thank you, Griot."

Riri made her way to her garage in no time, paying no mind to the world around her or the messages on her phone from MJ about their project. When she got there, she did decide to shoot her a quick text explaining that she was heading home to Chicago for a family emergency, that MJ could find her portion already done on a small drive in her room and that she had permission to break in, and that she would make it up to her later. MJ did reply, but Riri didn’t have time for that. She got to work, with the help of Griot, or the portion of him that she was allowed to operate, and booted up her own AI and implemented it into her nano suit. The one from wakanda was on its way but wouldn’t be there in time. Thankfully, she didn’t have to meet with Namor for another day and a half. She needed to think quickly but after working everything out with her suit, she was unsure where to go from there. 

“Griot, can I use both you and VIV?” 

“Yes, but you likely will not need me once the AI is turned on. I will be there when you need me, though Miss Riri.”

“Thank you Griot.” Riri smiled to herself, always fond of Griot and their robot voice. It made her think about the time she spent in the lab with Shuri, where they would borderline argue and Riri would laugh at them. This brought back that pang in her stomach and chest. She got to work on turning on and engaging with the AI so that it could mold to her needs, voice and patterns. After about an hour, she felt ready to head off. Except she had no idea how to get to Wakanda, let alone how to get in. She ruffled through her bookbag to find the information Namor had sent for her. A small teal envelope with her name on it, looking like it was written with a quill and ink. She shuddered at the thought of how old this man was and how intentional he had been to get this note to her. She opened it and read over it again, hoping to find more information than last time. Then, an idea came to mind.

“Hey VIV, and Griot, not that I don’t think you can handle it by yourself VIV. But uh, can you both scan this for me? I don’t have my Black light. Look for anything and everything. Cross reference what you find, if anything. Please.” 

“Yes IronHeart.” “Yes, Miss Riri.” They both answered in tandem. While they got to work, Riri sat down finally to think about what she could do. She couldn’t exactly call up the avengers to help her figure this out. She had to be lowkey, she had to be smart, and she needed it to work. She had only been to Wakanda once, and wasn’t really in the know about how to travel there let alone get through the border forcefield. As she went over all she did know, trying to remember any details that would help, the AI duo alerted her. 

Griot speaking first, since VIV seemed to sense a deeper trust from the IronHeart’s patterns. 

“There are markings on the back that would indicate a geolocation where Namor would like you to meet.”

“So, coordinates? I can work with that.” Riri said out loud, still trying to figure out exactly how she could work with that. Until she looked over at her father’s red car, in pristine condition thanks to Shuri. And it dawned on her. 

“Griot, do you have contact information for anybody besides Shuri?”

“I have contact information for Queen Shuri, and Okoye, former general of the Dora Milage.”

“Perfect. Please contact her now.”

“Yes, Miss Riri.”

“Wait, before you do, please transfer this contact information over to VIV. I’m not sure if Shuri knows that I have VIV yet, but in case she does, I don’t doubt that she would shut you down.” Riri explains to her favorite robot as if they needed it. Griot complied and sent a call out to Okoye.

Riri waited, holding her breath. She wasn’t sure is Okoye would answer, or even be willing to help. But this is what she had to work with. 

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Okoye answered.

“Small girl. Is everything alright?” Okoye answered seeming cheerful enough to hear from the girl but not without worry for the cause. Riri took a deep breath and explained the situation, truthfully, to the best of her ability. Somehow, as a surprise to both of them, Okoye was on her way in a matter of minutes as a Midnight Angel, with a jet that Shuri had let her keep. They both knew Shuri would be upset, but somehow it didn’t matter enough to let her get to Namor. They both knew what could happen, and what Shuri would likely do. 

No time was wasted when Okoye arrived, Riri running in the open hatch as fast as she could. Okoye pulled off without a trace, both of them hoping they hadn’t alerted any American law enforcement this time.

Okoye charted course for Wakanda and they both sat in near silence for most of the ride, only sharing a few words when Riri boarded, Riri showing Okoye the letter before she began piloting. They would make it in time. Riri sat near the back, not feeling like she belonged at the mantle of the machine. She had always liked these, having begged Shuri to teach her how to fly one before they set off for war. Riri sunk into her feelings that she had been trying to keep at bay since finding out about the AI. Before Shuri came, she honestly really wasn’t sure what she was going to do or how she was going to do it. But it seemed like the timing would suggest that she was supposed to, whether she really wanted to believe that or not. She didn’t want to believe that she was this horrible monster who brought death and destruction with her everywhere she went, but sometimes she really did. She tried to fight those thoughts back and began to feel the weight of her body, sinking into the seat. Sinking was a familiar feeling to her. She tried to remember how to swim in her own thoughts. She remembered how Shuri would talk her through her episodes. How she would call right away when she sensed anything off, even if Riri wasn’t wearing her beads. She remembered how it felt to think everything would be okay, and how often that was proved to be untrue. 

It was too easy to remember. Too easy to feel like it was just yesterday. Riri couldn't keep her mind from wandering back in time while the Wakandan jet made its way through the air. Trying to focus on anything else, trying to pay attention to the Dora silently flying or guarding the exit, trying to watch the sky around her. Anything. She couldn't bite down hard enough on the inside of her cheek, leaving a sore mark wasn't enough to keep her mind from its current occupation. 

"What are you doing here?!" The shorter of the two screamed, almost screeched as she ran into the panther's arms. 

"I had some time to myself finally. Where else would I go?" Shuri chuckled as she picked the scientist up. 

"You could literally go anywhere in the world and probably... out of the world? At this point with Wakandan tech." Riri explained, seriously, as she hung onto the slim but toned body holding her off the ground with ease, not realizing she was holding on as tight as she was. Not realizing there was nowhere else Shuri would have gone. Nowhere. 

"You're so... anyway, what should we do?"

"How long do we have?" Riri asked as she pulled back, not even trying to contain her wide grin that was plastered across her face. Shuri recorded it to memory, as she always did with the smaller woman's features. 

"96 hours. Well, 96-ish, less now that we've been standing here debating where I could've gone." Shuri jokes as she lets go, making sure Riri found her footing. 

"Shut up! Four days?! We have so much to do!" Riri definitely screeched this time, pretending to slap Shuri's arm. Fighting the urge to grab it and pull her in, Shuri picks up Riri's book bag from where she dropped it and places it in her desk chair as she walks to the bed and pulls her own bag out from under the bed.

"Exactly how long have you been here? You seem comfortable." Riri jokes as she grabs two waters from her mini fridge and hops up on her bed. 

"I am." Shuri chuckles at the sight of the shorter woman having to jump to get on the bed. "And since your first class."

"Are you serious?! Why didn't you say anything dickhead?!" 

"Ouch!" Shuri feigns pain as she catches the pillow Riri throws at her head and plops on the bed next to her. "I had a few things to handle, and needed to secure the dorm building. I didn't want to disrupt your day, I know midterms are coming up no?"

"Yeah, they are but you could've let a bitch know! I would've cleaned!" Riri states, noticing that she sounds much like her mother. 

"I like your mess." Shuri smiles. 

"Shut up. How did you secure the whole dorm building?"

"Well, I hope you don't mind. I have beads in every corner of the building. And a few around campus as well. Including in here. Is that alright with you?"

"Sheesh. Do I have a choice?" Riri jokes, but Shuri nervously answers.

"Yes of course! If it's not comfortable for you, I can sleep at a hotel. I should've asked, I'm sorry about that. Next time I'll-"

"There's a next time too?"

"Well, if you'd li-"

"Are you crazy?! Of course! And yeah yeah, that's all fine with me. I get it. Don't start worrying about it or nun. I was just curious."

Shuri's smile returns and she relaxes back into the bed. It was oddly comfortable, being that the last time she was here was before the war. Sure, they'd been talking for months over facetimes and calls. And texts. And letters.. oddly, but not to them. They were both truly as desperate as they felt, but excused it since it seemed mutual - opting to call it a mutual interest in friendship, as opposed to what it really was in the bigger picture. And sure, they had seen each other one other time, but it was so brief that it shouldn't really count - although it did, to both of them. 

Shuri had arrived at an American event in Boston, forced to show face by the elders after the uproar surrounding her mother and everything. She felt it was too soon and didn't make sense to attend a tech gala when none of it was even touching Wakandan tech. But regardless, she put on her best suit and went, disregarding the elder's request for her to wear traditional royal attire. She sat there, wishing she hadn't come, while big investors droned on. The only part that peaked her interest was listening to the stories of young inventors. They reminded her of herself, so excited and in a hurry. They reminded her of someone else too. Someone she had been longing to see since she left Wakanda only a few months ago at the time. 

Shuri muddled around the thought of calling Riri, or just showing up at her dorm. She knew she had responsibilities to attend to the next afternoon after she returned home, and it really hadn't been that long. Maybe Riri wasn't ready to see her yet? Or maybe she never would be. Or maybe Shuri had really made their connection up in her own mind. Or maybe she didn't? And maybe she should just call her, or maybe send her a quick text to keep it more casual? Keep what, casual exactly? She wasn't sure. She paced around her own mind anxiously the entire night, not realizing it was her turn to speak until the Doras were next to her asking if she was alright. She collected herself and headed to the stage, performing a speech much like her brother had about the importance of innovation, supporting the youth - especially the Black and Brown youth, etc. She meant what she said but she hardly felt as connected or present with it as she was when she wrote it. Still circling her mind was her favorite innovator, the scientist who made everything make sense to her. Pining so badly, by the end of her speech she had resolved to call Riri. Faking her smiles through the eruption of clapping and handshakes as she left the stage, she made her way back to her seat while the closing speech began - only to lose her resolve when Ayo bent down to whisper a reminder of their exit plan and their intended arrival time back in Wakanda. 

She had known it was a foolish thought. Who even knew what the small scientist would be doing at this time? She could be working, studying, partying. God, Shuri hoped not but recoiled at her own thoughts. She wasn't heteronormative and she wasn't the toxic type. She just also felt jealous of anybody and anything that got to be around Riri when she wasn't. Which was most times. Essentially all the time. Really, she reasoned with herself, she had only been around Riri for a few days and it had been against her will anyway. Maybe she really was making all of this up in her head. 

The Queen of Wakanda continued her mental pace as she made her exit, later than most guests and certainly not from the front entrance. She walked through the beautiful building with the Doras who were talking amongst themselves about logistics, seemingly all having caught onto another one of Shuri's "moods". Shuri paid them no mind, as they expected, while she began brooding. What was the point of coming to America, aside from like... the actual point, politically - if not to see her scientist? She caught herself scoffing at "her scientist", making fun of herself in her head as they headed outside and around the back when the Doras suddenly stood alert around her. Shuri looked around her and back at her beads quickly, doing a quick scan of their surroundings, only to hear a small, out of breath "Hey" from her left.

"Williams?"

"Yeah, yeah.. haha. Hoo. Crazy catching you here." Riri joked awkwardly as she tried to catch her breath from clearing having run.

"Yes, well I was-"

"Giving a speech. I saw on tv. Just happened to be in the neighborhood myself so I figured I'd uh, say hi." Riri cut the Panther off as she caught her bearings and finally made eye contact. Shuri made contact back, silently signaling for the Dora to drop their guard. Ayo looked between them but of course followed command. Shuri stepped between them and closer to the scientist, who was now twiddling her fingers and looking anywhere but at Shuri. Just like she did in Wakanda. Just like Shuri had replayed in her head a billion times over. While Shuri took the absence of eye contact as a chance to damn near gawk at the smaller woman, Riri was doing her own mental laps. 

She also questioned her intentions and if she had been making this all up. She also questioned how crazy she must look, showing up here like this. She couldn't stop herself, leaving MJ, Peter and Ned in her OWN room after they had been flipping through channels and Riri caught a glimpse. That was all it took, one, maybe two seconds and she was out the door. And granted, she kind of was in the neighborhood. If you consider being four miles away in the neighborhood. She had considered grabbing her car from the garage but figured it would take too long, so she jumped in her nano suit her and Peter had been working on (that definitely still needed some work), and flew over. Of course she couldn't land in front of everyone, so she landed in a park a few blocks away and took off on foot. None of which she will EVER tell anybody, although she could barely remember her excuse to the three friends she left in her dorm as she forced herself to look back up and meet Shuri's eyes. 

"In the neighborhood?"

"You could say that." Riri joked awkwardly again.

This made Shuri laugh. Riri had that effect on her, she had learned during their late night lab sessions. Even in the midst of the grimmest of days and a literal war, Riri had Shuri laughing so hard she cried a few times. They both seemed to be thinking back while they laughed together and smiled at each other shyly until Ayo cleared her throat. 

"We must get going, Kumkanikazi." Both women seemed to jump a bit, having been pulled out of their staring contest. Riri shuddered at hearing Shuri be called that, she recognized it from when Okoye would speak about Queen Ramonda. She had done her best to pick up on as much of the language as she could when she was there, for some reason unknown to her - she just figured it would come in handy. But now, hearing it and knowing it meant Queen, shook her to her core. She remembered why she hadn't reached out, the guilt that sat in her bones about it. She nearly turned on her heels until she heard Shuri speak. 

"One moment please."

"My Queen, we really must-" Ayo begun speaking in Xhosa but was cut off by the Panther Queen. 

"Please. One moment." Shuri said, a command but almost begging, not turning to face the general one step to the side of her. She pulled at the necklace around her neck and Ayo nodded silently. 

"I will ready the jet." Ayo answered and turned around, her and the two other Dora briskly walking to the jet that was just now coming into Riri's focus. She assumed it was using the new camouflage tech she had heard mentioned before she left Wakanda. 

"Those things get cooler every time."

"Yeah, I suppose they do." Shuri laughed half heartedly. They both tried to speak but cut each other off.

"So-"

"I do-"

"You first." They both sheepishly smiled as they spoke in unison. but Riri insisted. "Go ahead, please." 

Shuri would've resisted if she wasn't so desperate and struggling against showing it. 

"How have you been? I've mis- I've been wondering. We haven't spoken since you left." Shuri caught herself, suddenly feeling like twiddling her fingers and looking at her shoes too but she resisted that too. She was good at resisting. 

"Oh.. well yeah. I've been. You know, school, work. Just been trying to get through the semester. I wanted to re- well I wondered how you've been too."

"I've been, too." Shuri shrugged with a smile. She wanted to know more, everything. To devour the stories Riri could tell her, even the most mundane. She wanted to know what pencils she used to write equations and what she thought of the food in her cafeteria. Riri just smiled, feeling the weight again. She knew Shuri hadn't been good, and she knew she hadn't either. 

"Can I ask you-" They both spoke in unison again. 

"You first." Riri insisted again, before Shuri could. Shuri didn't like it but she also didn't have much time to waste. 

"Why didn't you reach out?" She asked, leaving Riri out of breath all over again. After a second that seemed like a million, Riri answered.

"I didn't know how." She said truthfully. 

"I left you beads. Maybe I should've left a note too. I'm sorry, I figured you'd-"

"No, no. Not like that. I figured that out, it was actually pretty easy." Riri smiled, thinking about how much fun it was to try to get the beads to work. Fun until it wasn't. Fun until she heard Shuri's voice message and left it for months.

"Then you didn't want to?"

"No, I did. I just didn't know... how. I didn't know what to say, or how to say it. But trust me, I wanted to. I really wanted to." Riri said earnestly and more quiet than she intended. Shuri believed her and took her answer, even if she didn't like it. Again resisting herself. Resisting Riri. 

"I understand. Thank you for letting me know. Well..." She looked back at the Jet and sighed. They made eye contact before Shuri decided it would be best to count her losses in her own country, turning to leave. 

"Wait, I still have a question!" Riri almost shouted. "If that's okay... of course." She said more quiet. Shuri turned around eager to hear. Hoping. Resisting. But hoping. She nodded her head.

"Well..." Riri twisted her fingers around in her hands. She still didn't know what to say or how to say it. But she didn't have much time to waste. 

"Well?" Shuri asked, trying not to sound pushy but anxious to know. 

"Is it too late?" Riri asked, looking back up at the woman in front of her. The face she had committed to memory, but a bit different. More mature. Somehow even more beautiful. Shuri said nothing.

"...To reach out... To talk?" Riri finally drove it home, sending a silent prayer to whoever would answer that she wouldn't further embarrass herself. 

Startling the both of them, Shuri's beads lit up and Ayo's face appeared. 

"My apologies my Queen, but if we do not leave in the next three minutes, you may be late to your engagements tomorrow."

"Yes, thank you. I'm coming." Shuri said back, eyes still on Riri. 

Riri felt defeated as she watched the panther tuck her beads back up her sleeve. It probably was too late. And who knows. Maybe it was the right thing to do to not stay in contact. Maybe that's what was best for Wakanda or Shuri. She remembered her mother always telling her that sometimes "doing the right thing feels like shit". In this case, she thought, it felt worse than shitty.

That was until Shuri grabbed her hand. Softly, almost too soft in comparison to what you'd expect from a super powered panther. It was so soft yet sent a shiver through Riri, like electricity was coursing through her. Like her heart was beating for the first time. The eye contact was somehow not as awkward as it was a second ago when they were standing a few feet apart. It was like they were all alone.

"Use the beads. If they need to charge, just set them in the sun but they shouldn't."

"Oh- Okay. I will. I will." Riri said twice, almost like she was confirming with herself first and the Shuri.

"Good." Shuri smiled. She took a step closer before she heard another beep on her own beads. Before the General could speak, Shuri was already responding. 

"I heard you. I'm coming."

She looked at Riri again and sighed, and suddenly Riri saw just how exhausted the Panther really was. And maybe something else too. Shuri stepped back again, not wanting to let go of Riri's hand. 

"It'll never be too late. I'll see you soon?" Shuri said, finally letting go and letting the physical distance regrow between them, hoping that the emotional distance wouldn't grow again too. 

Riri watched as the panther walked back to the jet and boarded, looking back only once, only long enough to catch Riri's small wave but not return it. The younger scientist stood there feeling disassociated, unsure of what to do next. Really, she knew she had to go back to her dorm and go back to living her real life just like she had after she left Wakanda. Although, as dreary as that still seemed to her, this time felt different. Like there was something to look forward to, if she had the balls to actually use the beads like Shuri had said. She mulled over whether or not it was an instruction or a question from the Panther as she chose not to watch the jet fly off behind her. She heard the media start to buzz again when they heard the jet, upset that they had missed the person they were waiting for. Yet, Riri stood there and stared at the ground where Shuri was just standing. She still felt that pathetic feeling, and worried that she hadn't had a chance to explain how she found Shuri or even knew she would be there. She felt the weight of grief again, after seeing how tired Shuri looked when you really looked at her. And she felt guilty, for feeling excited. For feeling the butterflies she always pretended she didn't feel. She wondered, briefly, how Shuri was feeling right now but per usual, tried not to wonder too much as to not become delusional. She knew better than anybody that assuming to know how someone else thinks is the worst mistake you can make. 

Shuri, back in the jet that was flying faster than she would like, was afflicted by similar thoughts. She wondered how Riri had found her and wondered if she really was as lucky as that just felt. She wondered why the girl even came. She wondered if she thinks about her too. She wondered if Riri would use the beads. She sat awake, replaying every moment of their time together since their first encounter over and over until they arrived in Wakanda, despite the Doras concerns for her not getting rest. Shuri would rest when things were well enough for her to rest, she told herself, but even she was starting to notice the cracks. She knew she could only stay awake for so many days until her body would shut down. She had secretly tried some of the elixirs and teas that both Nakia and Aneka had sent her, and she had read what Okoye sent her after hearing everything. She had slept every now and then, but it was never restful. It was never without torment from some figment of her mind taking shape of someone she wasn't ready to face - whether that be Namor, N'jdaka, or her mother. She always prayed for T'Challa to appear, who she wasn't sure if she was ready to see but longed for the comfort of his voice or face, but each time her body fell asleep, her mind fell into a well pit of despair. 

That is, until later that night. Shuri had been through her daily responsibilities after making it back to Wakanda. Once her meetings were over, she made her way to the lab. She did her best to avoid checking the status of Riri's beads, trying to keep her mind busy as she usually did. It was harder this time, knowing that she'd actually spoken to the girl. After bopping around a bit, her body started to feel the weight of the past few days. She hadn't been physically training as much as she should've the past few weeks, because she knew it would knock her out but she was starting to feel stiff. She finally let up and sat down at one of her desks in a back room of the lab after Griot had let her know her vitals. She didn't usually sit in this room, so she hadn't been aware of what was placed in there. As she lazily sifted through the papers on the desk to try to keep her mind occupied, she saw blueprints for Riri's Iron Heart suit. The same feeling of nervousness and excitement rose in her as she more hurriedly looked over them. Despite all the work they did together, she never really got to see too much of Riri's initial process from scratch. She ran her slender fingers over Riri's pencil marks, reading over all her notes to herself. 

With a yawn, Shuri sat back and relished in the fact that Riri actually existed. Sometimes, when Shuri was really out of it, she couldn't believe that everything really happened. She was sometimes convinced she would wake up and her mother would still be here, or that Riri was just a figment of her desperate imagination. Sure, having her mother back would be... well, everything. But it scared Shuri to think Riri might not have been real, that she didn't really happen. She felt selfish for this, knowing that Riri's life would probably be better without the trauma she endured in Wakanda. But nevertheless, Shuri held on tight to the memories she had of the woman, hoping that they would be enough for her. 

She thought about how it felt to hold Riri's hand, to touch her skin again. It was just as soft and delicate as it had been when they parted ways a few months ago. Her face looked the same, maybe more mature in some ways. She looked tired too, underneath the face she put on for other people. They had gotten past that with each other during their long nights alone working together in the lab. 

She thought about what it would feel like to fall asleep in Riri's bed. The mattress probably wasn't super comfortable but she remembers all the colorful pillows she has, messily strewn across the surface. The different colored blankets would probably fit them both well, even with the little space a twin bed supplies. They would have to be close, touching. Shuri imagined breathing in sync, feeling Riri's ribcage rise and fall in her arms while they were pressed against each other. She thought about how Riri smells. She's been trying to replicate it for months. She thought about breathing her in, laying her face in the crook of her neck and sleeping. Not thinking. Sleeping. Not even having to dream. She thought about waking up next to her, seeing her sleeping still until Shuri shifted too much by accident. Riri waking up and no doubt saying something funny. Or soft. Or just saying hello. How her eyes would look. She thought about not being afraid to make it real, that in her thoughts she didn't have to pretend that these touches were by accident or out of necessity. That they could spend an eternity, wrapped in colorful blankets, sleeping and touching skin to skin. That maybe Riri would feel the same, and they would laugh about how long it took to figure it out. That they would laugh until they couldn't, and talk until they couldn't, and then they would kiss. And everything would melt away, and neither would know where their skin would begin or end. And they would kiss until they couldn't. And they'd sleep. 

She hadn't realized she had fallen asleep at the desk until she heard Griot's voice. 

"Sorry to startle you, Panther. But, Miss Williams is trying to contact you. How would you like me to proceed?"

Shuri was shook, unsure of what she looked like or even what time it was. She felt nervous. She felt groggy, not even sure if this was real either. Nevertheless, she answered. 

"Patch me through, please."

She waited a moment with bated breath, hoping this wasn't a dream or some fluke. Until she heard a familiar voice.

"Hello?" Riri asked, sounding nervous herself. Shuri wondered what time it was there, too. 

"Hey." She said, in a more relaxed tone. Even if this wasn't real, it was still the best dream she'd had in months. Maybe ever.

And they talked, for a long time. Eventually working through any awkwardness. Riri never explained how she made it to the Panther, and the Panther never asked. She did explain, however, why it took so long for her to call. Shuri just listened and let herself laugh, like she'd been dreaming about. Finally feeling free for a little bit, even if it was just for a little bit.

On the other side of things, once Riri had cleared everyone out of her room when she got back and promising to explain to MJ later, she had sat down and thought about what to do. That turned into pacing and talking outloud. She had been avoiding the beads like the plague for months, unsure of what to do. Unsure of what choice would cause the least harm, since she already felt guilty for what she had caused. She found herself awake all night feeling anxious. She left for class that morning, deciding that she would get through her day and take a nap. She would figure it out after that. What she didn't tell Shuri, is how hard its been to sleep since she left Wakanda, or really even how hard it was while she was there. But when she tried to take a nap, she realized that all she dreamed about this time was Shuri and how soft her hand was when they had touched and how peaceful it felt to talk to her, even if only for a few moments and only a few words. She decided when she woke up that even if they ended up never talking again, she would keep her promise and use the beads.

And that's what she did. And that's what they kept doing, for weeks and months. They talked, they listened, they laughed, and on rare occasion, fell asleep. Both free from nightmares, even if just for a little while. Until Shuri finally arrived.

And finally, they had some time to really figure things out. Shuri promised she wasn't missing anything important by being there, and that she had allotted enough time. Riri was still unsure about it but couldn't resist the opportunity to finally see the woman she had been pining over for months - as a friend, of course. 

As Riri remembered back fondly, she had forgotten what was ahead of her until she was jolted by turbulence that was usually well controlled by the Wakandan tech in the fighter jet. She couldn't process how she could possibly be on her way to confront the man that almost killed her and did actually kill the Queen of Wakanda. She couldn't fathom that she was racing there, against her love, her best friend, to make sure she didn't kill him first. Suddenly her clothes all felt too tight, and her suit felt heavy despite being nano. Suddenly the air felt hot and her lungs felt empty and she felt dizzy. She had felt all of this before, a panic attack. Riri Williams was no stranger to a panic attack. Not before Wakanda, and definitely not after. Though, for the past few months, she had always had Shuri to help ground her. Now, she was floating in the air, literally and figuratively. Everything was moving so fast. She felt herself spiraling and cursing herself in the process, unable to stop it but ashamed nonetheless. She had worked hard, since she was younger, to have a control over her emotions and thoughts. She needed to, especially if she was going to take this super hero shit serious. Especially if she was going to be there for her mom and sister after her dad passed. Especially if she was going to make it. But she felt that control slowly ripping itself to shreds, doing a number on all the mental blocks she had in place. She couldn't lose Shuri. She couldn't be the cause of another war in Wakanda. She couldn't live with the guilt. She couldn't let Shuri get hurt, or worse, for her again. Even if it meant confronting a man much more powerful than her. Even if it meant losing. Even if it meant drowning all over again. 

Suddenly, she felt a cool hand grace the side of her cheek. She felt her suit dematerialize around her until it was just a bracelet again. She felt Okoye kneel down in front of her, eyes kinder than they usually were. She felt her pull her in close and squeeze. The pressure of the embrace bringing Riri back into her body. They stayed like that until Riri could breathe again. 

She went to apologize as Okoye pulled back silently, just as she had appeared, but she was cut off. 

"Aht aht. There is no need." Okoye softly but firmly let her know, sitting down next to her. They had never been this close before. Riri looked over to see the jet flying itself. The first time she saw that happen she was crazy nervous, but she's grown to trust both Wakandan tech and Okoye. After a few moments of silence, Okoye spoke again.

"I know what she means to you, you know."

Riri looked at her finally, noticing how somber her eyes really looked. She had seen those eyes before, but not like this. Okoye continued, looking back out the windows. 

"I was T'Challa's right hand. I saw it all, from the beginning to the end. I saw him be the panther, I saw him be the king. I saw him be Shuri's brother." Riri felt a pang in her at the use of Shuri's name. She listened.

"And I saw him fall in love. I saw him devote himself to Nakia, and I saw her unravel at the loss of him - until she left. I saw it all, as much as I could. And I often wondered why I didn't feel the way they seemed to feel when my husband betrayed me and Wakanda. But their love... it was pure. It was something out of this world, it was something built into them." Okoye sighed, feeling grief in many directions. Riri found herself fighting back tears again until Okoye looked at her with different eyes, almost loving eyes this time.

"I have seen that kind of love before and that is how I know you have it. Both of you. And that is how I know we will figure this out." Okoye looked at her and squeezed her hand again, affirming what she said. They both heard the AI tell them they were approaching in the next 5 minutes. Through her tears that were now shamelessly falling down her face, Riri gulped out a question, in true Riri fashion.

"Do you think you will ever love like that?"

"I already do." Okoye said, getting up and adjusting herself to get back to the front of the plane to chart their secret entrance into Wakanda. Riri looked confused.

"Ngudade wethu." Okoye answered again, before sitting down and being who she needed to be. Riri knew what she said, and knew that she was right. About all of it. 

As they prepared themselves, Riri suited up and made her way to the front of the plane. 

"Where did he say to meet?" The midnight angel asked Riri. She sent the coordinates to the jet and looked at them wistfully. She hadn't really thought about where she might actually be going to "talk" to him when she was rushing to get herself to Wakanda. She jumped when Okoye gasped. 

"What?! What is it?!" Worry filled her from head to toe again, hoping it had nothing to do with Shuri. 

"That bastard... We are going to have to find a way to break into the palace. He wants to meet in the throne room."

Riri was speechless, knowing that this was a tactic to try to make her feel weak. She also couldn't deny that it was working. She felt her heart rate increase at the thought of being back in there. Of seeing the place where she almost died. Of... all of it. She had visited many times in her dreams, all against her will. And now she would face him there, against her will. She knew he was doing this to weaken her resolve, much like her and Shuri did with the dehydrating jet. She knew his intent all along, but this certainly solidified it. 

Riri tried to make peace with dying in Wakanda. Once again, her mom wouldn't know where she was or how any of this happened. She wondered what lie they would tell her. She wondered if she would fight or just give herself to him. She wondered what Shuri would do, knowing this wouldn't end well no matter what she did. But she held her mind together as best as she could. She knew she had to meet him before she did. She knew she had to do what she could to prevent a second war. Okoye knew too, looking at her and then pulling up her own beads to try and locate Shuri. 

"The Panther's location services are currently offline." The Ai spoke to them. 

"Let us pray she is behind us and not ahead of us."

"Will she know where to find us?"

"We are about to break into the most secure place on the planet earth. I'm sure everyone will know where to find us in a matter of moments." Okoye answered and they shared a look. 

"I hope you know, I will fight until the end with you. I have stood with the Wakandan throne my whole life. I have stood with Shuri and those that came before her. I have stood for the safety of my people as best as possible, but I have made my own mistakes before. I will stand with you, now, Riri. No matter the outcome."

Riri felt the pull of her tear ducts again but different this time. Okoye reminded her of her own sister, and of her own mistakes. She reached out a hand and found Okoye's. They held hands until it was time to land. 

Once they had maneuvered their way into the country using Okoye's knowledge as former general and her new disguising tech, which Riri made a note to recreate if she made it out of this, Riri followed Okoye into the dense jungle around them.

"The best chance we have is to stay low until we can't anymore, and then charge in. The Doras won't see it coming but they will react, with their full might as they've been trained to do. Even to me. Our goal is not to harm any Wakandans, but we have to get to the throne room before he does. I will do my best to reason with Ayo and Aneka but they will resist a meeting with him there. Once we spot him, we must draw him away from the palace. Even if it means drawing him to the sea. Remember that he is most powerful near water."

Riri nods as she listens. Okoye wishes there were another way.

"Remember that if we see Shuri, we may already be too late. We must keep them separate. I do not know if she will choose peace a second time. Not when it concerns you."

"I don't want her to do this, I hope you know. You were right. You were right about it all. I love her. But I don't want her to risk everything for me. You all already have and I can't live with that. I can't live with any of this. I don't want to die but... But I can't let everyone else die for me either." Riri spits out, hoping she's being believed. She means it. Okoye looks at her and hears Nakia's voice in her head. "I just know his spirit. It is simple in that way for me."

"Ndiyawazi umoya wakho. I believe you. And I will fight to make sure no one has to die today, unfortunately even him if it means peace."

"Thank you."

"Thank you, small girl."

"For what?" Riri asked, genuinely surprised since most of the mayhem the past few months has been a result of her actions - intentional or not. 

"For giving her something to hold onto again. Something to believe in." Okoye answered truthfully. Riri didn't know what to say but she took in what the older woman said, against trusting her. After a few moments of silence, it was time.

"Stand behind me and do not fly until I tell you. If you enter the air space anywhere near the palace, you will be shot down before you can count to one. Do you understand?" Riri nodded. 

She did understand. Now, more clearly than ever.

🖤

[therealslimshakespeare]

my dearest darlingest marina i need you to know you have broken me quite thoroughly and i might never ever forgive you for it as long as we both shall live ! ❣️

to clarify- ive been saving "let's fall out of love" to read later ever since you posted it cuz i didn't feel ready- didn't think i was emotionally stable enough to read it then. well, tonight ive been clearing out my list of unread fics from last year aND GODDAMN WAS I EVER RIGHT ABOUT THAT.!!!

started getting all weepy and shaky before that first courthouse bathroom conversation and i didn't ever stop 😭 sobbed so hard and for so long at the unfairness of it all (for both of them !) i gave myself an asthma attack and had to stop reading.. what really broke me was e's bittersweet and somewhat detached realization on the courthouse steps that all their kids had flocked to laney during the divorce. couldn't stop thinking abt how badly i would've wanted to tell jesse off for being sharp to his daddy, and the knowledge that elaine COULDN'T, that it wasn't quite over yet and she still had to save face for a bit longer despite how much it killed them both, despite being the only person who could truly understand just how deep elvis was hurting right then and having been the one who'd made a whole life out of loving him hard.......... the idea of him resigning himself to having lost that forever (false) and her having to go against everything in her nature to let him ache a while longer,, oh it just shattered my spirit to bits right then and there. oh god im gonna start crying again just thinking about how lonely they both made each other 💔💔💔

im literally inconsolable, even with the reasoning behind it/ knowing how it ends beforehand, and having those future timeline fics to fall back on did nOT SAVE ME like . dear GOD woman how is that even possible?!?? if i had any shred of humanity left in my body id wax poetic for three more paragraphs abt how that speaks to your truly absolutely outstanding talent as an author and worldbuilder, but alas i think i cried out everything that was keeping me sane sometime in the last half hour and now i have to go lie facedown on the floor in my hallway and die abt it all instead 👍 fantastic work as always i love all your work so much forever etc etc 💗💗💗💗💗💗💗

ps: it took me the better part of an hour to type all this out since ive lost the water content of approxinately a small ocean w my tears and am doing physically poorly in response 🫠🫠 so thanks for ur patience in this trying time 😔🙏

I spun around in circles upon reading this like my poor coon dog when she had a stroke -jovially of course. Like this is the stuff every writer dreams of getting for feedback but holy smokes, your talent for screaming? Beyond my wildest dreams. I’ve always told you how much I appreciate your time and enthusiasm to tell your thoughts Mary Hope, and now is no exception. My babe and co-author @elvisabutler deserves the pleasure of reading what we’ve wrought, as well. I’ll be halving all your medical and psychiatric expenses with her. 😏

Tbh, despite knowing both imminent and longterm reconciliation was to happen after this segment, we were just as cut up about tearing them apart as you were to read it. In fact, it was worse than all the lead up fics where the passive aggressive accumulation of grievances came across as hurts but ultimately only aggravations. This is just…PAIN. Funny how what was untenable before a tragedy suddenly appears to have been idyllic after it. Anyways.

Thank you for reading, here’s some Kleenex, albuterol and do know the sequel to this divorce is in drafts, so not finished AT ALL but it is in the works.

Not that it’ll hurt much less than this one. 😈

[crownofgildedlilies]

PART 4 OF COOL ABOUT IT IS SO GOOD IM LOSING MY MIND!! ur such a genius and so so talented omg. i literally have been obsessing with them (literally on my mind 24/7) so seeing them finally together was so good 😭💗 i wanted to ask if u would ever consider writing a bonus chapter in jason's pov? i don't want to pressure u or anything bc you already gave us suchhhh a good series but i just think it could be so fun to see!! like his talks with hazel, leo teasing him more about his "girlfriend" and the whole getting his memories back and everything, it would be so good ‼️❤️ again i hope this doesn't come off as mean or demanding bc u just posted part 4, just something that was on my mind as soon as i read the part where jason said he got his memories back! ANYWAY i'm literally so obsessed with everything u write, thank u for giving them a happy ending 😭 and i hope u have a good day!!

actually obsessed w this idea bc jason’s pov would literally just be like “why is this absolutely stunning person staring at me like they wanna both punch me and … kiss me? was i that much of an asshole? also no leo you cannot under any circumstances ask if they’re free for a movie after we save the world. why? i don’t know, but i think i would kill you after they finished”

like he knows reader but doesn’t know reader? and percy frank and hazel are like buddy how can we break this to you gently.

i could talk about this forever but i’m gonna shut up now anon u have truly blessed me

[softpine]

@bb-enablefreebuild it's true, but asa says it himself, "I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I have everything a person could want and a better family than some could ever imagine - but it’s not enough for me. I don’t know why. I want to be happy, but I don’t know how." it was important for me to include that part in there, because that has nothing to do with finn – well, only a little bit in that he knows he can come across as ungrateful given that his family is incredibly supportive and some people's families, like finn's, are the opposite. otherwise, this is entirely centered around asa's internal feelings. he's had depression nearly his entire life, it's just that when finn is around he's able to find reasons to take care of himself (going outside for long walks, sleeping regularly, paying attention in class because finn tells him to, taking his meds, etc.) and without finn there to ground him, asa is falling apart for more reasons than one. so yes it's the heartbreak of losing your first love, but it's more than that for him. it's losing the primary reason for living in the moment and looking forward to the future :(

he will be soooooooo pissed :( we'll have to wait and see if asa tells him the truth (or the full truth) about how he got to this point... especially after everything asa said in this post; he KNOWS finn wouldn't approve of any of his actions thus far, but he keeps digging his grave deeper and deeper because he's already gone too far, he's already broken finn's trust and he can't leave things like this now :(

that tag is so funny, i wasn't even referring to myself in Sim God terms i was just mad at him as if i'm a powerless reader like the rest of you jfkjsds and YEAH poor casper :( he'll come up in one of the next posts so i don't want to say too much, but the fact that his worst fear is missing out on something important while he's away, to the extent that he's calling constantly to check on his family is so..... :(

bro yes 🤭

thank you for sharing!! that makes complete sense to me and that's a really sweet way to incorporate your mom in that decision 🥺

RIGHT he needs the sense knocked into him fr

@forgotten-pixels ahhhh i love this question, i was JUST thinking about mac while i was making vegan chili mac the other day fjkjsds i'm actually going to save this in my inbox and take some pictures for you when i have the energy because i miss mac and honey too :') they're always hanging out in the same room while i'm taking screenshots, they just NEVER make it into any good pics. it's actually a curse i swear

i honestly have no idea, i'm sorry 😭 it'll probably be awhile though, i haven't been doing great tbh but i want the next post to look as good as it does in my head so i don't want to half ass it!!

@itsalwaysgonnabeher oh you caught that huh sjfkjsds don't worry (yet) 💖

@little-orphan-ant I'M SORRY 😭 i'm thinking brandi wtf at all times too lmao

omg okay so i'm saving this message in my inbox for later because i KNOW for a FACT that i listed everyone's favorite candy many years ago but tumblr's search function is so incredibly ass and i don't have the energy to keep searching for it right now but i will find it eventually i promise 🥺 and if not i'll just rewrite it and then when i inevitably find the original post we can compare my answers and see how well i know my characters' tastes fjksjds

absolutely yes i'm afraid 😌

in my head i still have to sound it out sometimes if it's been forever since i've typed her name fjksjds

@rebouks thank you so much 🥺🥺 the same goes to you!!! 💖

@moonfromearth thank you!! it's so sweet you thought of me ;-; 💗

[justalildumpling]

moots as nct members

I'm not sure if uve already done this sorry if u have/ don't want to do this

ahh i love love love moot games like this hehe ty for sending this in💗

(i’m realising that a lot of my moots that i mostly interact with are from deobiblr😭 i’ve only tagged ppl who i am certain they stan nct but if i forgot i’m sorry!! this was written at like 3am delusion)

@sungbeam - mark

miss ma’am works herself as much as sm overworks the shit out of mark lee istg😭 TAKE A BREAK MA'AM IT'S OKAY. ok besides from that, i feel like mark is universally a comfort person for everyone in the nct community and beam is literally MY comfort person, my soulmate, my best friend (yes, she's mine. no buts😤) she's so talented at what she does, an absolute sweetheart, she cares so so much about her peers and i rlly just admire her as a person outside of tumblr. i could literally write an essay about how much i love her but i'll save everyone the read😭

@jaeminvore - jaemin

chaos. the both of them. OK BUT besides from that, nics gives off like hot girl energy like jaemin. he's is like woah he's so sexy and he knows it type vibe and nics is the same! i remember first seeing her blog/works and being like girl. im such a fan (and i still am, she's fucking hilarious and amazing) i folded for nics as much as i did for jaemin fr. it's always so fun talking to nics about literally anything from plain old thirsting over korean men to throwing irl ppl off a cliff and like jaemin she makes any scenario so much more enjoyable!!

@polarisjisung - jisung

LOOKLOOKLOOK yes he is her bias BUT the amount of rizz the both of has😭 UHM HELLO ALSO BOTH MAIN DANCER ENERGY nah i folded fr😩 ok but besides that, we all know jisung is the most wholesome bean ever and I JUST WANT TO PROTECT HUA YK?? idk she's such a cool person to talk to and i feel like we just clicked from the first time we met. jisung gives off like ride or die energy and i can def say that hua is the same💗

@winterchimez - xiaojun

THIS ISNT CHEATING ISTG ITS A COINCIDENCE THAT HER BIAS HAPPENS TO BE HIM AS WELL OK????? Both ally and xiaojun are literally the biggest sweethearts and can get along with everybody!! I always thought that xiaojun would be such a great conversationalist and no joke, ally and I got along so well as soon as we met and now we're forever emotional support buddies🥹🤞

@sehunniepot - jungwoo

literal golden retriever energy, like ball of sunshine. the most sociable and friendliest person i’ve met. i literally fell in love with nikki’s personality as soon as we met just like I did for mr kim jungwoo😔😔 I just feel like if I were to be in a room with her, she would be the lighting everyone up like idk how to describe it. She’s just someone that I feel like everyone couldn’t help but adore.

@jaehunnyy - taeyong

I LOVE THESE TWO PPL SO MUCH ALSNFOAFEI ok. i've calmed down. but fr tho like u CANNOT hate both taeyong and chip. LIKE she's literally a beam of positivity and she cares so much for her peers and always checks up on everyone when she can🥺 our bubu is a great leader and residential cutie and i feel like chip fits that to a tea

@wuahae - haechan

something about cat always screamed haechan to me idk why. just her mannerism/texting/talking style. as soon i started talking to her on the deoboyznet chat like i knew she and i were on the same wavelength just like i felt with haechan LMAO cat may seem playful and fun all the time but she's firm when she wants to be and she knows her boundaries/morals/values which is very admirable.

@mosviqu - ten

for some reason bar and ten just makes sense. both insanely talented, sarcastic and has strong opinions which they’re not afraid of expressing. lowkey intimidating to approach at first due to how highly i thought of her work, but was literally the most down to earth, loveliest person ever. I always love when she talks about the process behind her pics because they blow me away every time just like ten’s dancing.

@daegall - renjun

yes. I know it’s literally illegal for me to put anyone else other than lee donghyuck for sunny BUT IDK MAN SHE JUST GIVES OFF RENJUN VIBES!! we all know renjun is like the cutest little ball of sweetness ever and sunny is always so lovely and whenever she gets giddy like i get giddy too😭 and her expression of emotions towards haechan is portrayed thru capitalisations, keyboard smashes and typos which reminded me of renjun's little spits of anger yk??

[seokjinnieswife007]

So I started WIFTY as a joke 🥹 but fr this has been the biggest comfort show I've ever been into... 🙌🏼 😩🤌🏼🤍🩷🤍🩷🤍💗🩷🤍💗🤍🩷

Such a beautiful experience my heart is so so so full ❤️🥰🫶🏼

It ticked so many things that i literally live for to see in a show.

A hschool drama 🥹😭🤌🏼

Y E S 🗣️

A group of highschool cuties who stay w e/o till the end 🥹😭🤌🏼

Y E S 🗣️

First love trope 🥹😭🤌🏼

Y E S 🗣️

I don't care bout anyone but you trope 🥹😭🤌🏼

Y E S 🗣️

I've got my eyes only on you trope 🥹😭🤌🏼

Y E S 🗣️

Grumpy × Sunshine trope 🥹😭🤌🏼

Y E S 🗣️

Greener than grass flags 🥹😭🤌🏼

Y E S 🗣️

Hschool to marriage trope 🥹😭🤌🏼

Y E S 🗣️

No drama no unnecessary dragging no shit at all 🥹😭🤌🏼

Y E S 🗣️

She fell first but he falls harder trope 🥹😭🤌🏼

Y E S 🗣️

Super Soft relationships with zero angst 🥹😭🤌🏼

A BIG BIG Y E S 🗣️

I finished WIFTY and suddenly I'm the mother of 5 fictional teenagers .

they're so dear to me so precious to me my Lil cuties my beloved my ADORABLE babies 🥹🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼

If you think i would get tired of watching chinese shows with the same plot of 4/5 teen best friends that go to high school, graduate, start dating as soon as they enter college then they enter into their " already very fluff but add more fluff into it " Era then get jobs and then get married and have children.... so let me tell you.. no.

I could literally watch a hundred of THESE shows cuz the amount of SEROTONIN I get from these is really something something 🥹✨

The butterflies I get 🥹🦋🩷💗🤍🩷💗💗🩷💗💗🤍💗🩷🩷💗🤍 they're so so so dear to me 💝🥹💕

Shows these days are hella cute and non problematic which actually makes your heart flutter 😩💗🥹🫶🏼

My Precious zai zai and rang rang. You live in my eyes and heart . Forever ♾️🥹💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗

🥹💗🥹💗🥹💗🥹💗🥹💗🥹💗🥹💗

I’ve fallen back into the romantic drama hole again. No one save me. It’s better here.

🥹💗🥹💗🥹💗🥹💗🥹💗🥹💗🥹💗

It's heaven where i reside (in my mind)

~🕯️🧿✨🧘🏻‍♀️💌🌹🕯️💌🧘🏻‍♀️💌🕯️🌹✨🧘🏻‍♀️🌹🧿🕯️~

Manifesting my rangrang

~🕯️🧿✨🧘🏻‍♀️💌🌹🕯️💌🧘🏻‍♀️💌🕯️🌹✨🧘🏻‍♀️🌹🧿🕯️~

[aminta]

hello oomf... we dont talk much save for the period synced up ask i sent like.once.but everytime i see you on my dash i go Oh hey ...i hopped on rn and saw your most recent posts nd i got a bit worried . i gen hope youre doing alright , grief is such a fickle thing . its been a while since my grandfather passed yet the other night i cried a bit over him . it genuinely does find you on a warm and light afternoon but that doesnt mean itll haunt you forever . you live and expand around it . i hope whatever youre going through smooths over and youre allowed to grieve in peace. hope yr ok love you👍💗

omg this is the sweetest message ever 😭😭😭 thank u for this u are so lovely. dont be worried abt me, ive got a v strong support circle but i also just find it comforting to vomit my thoughts on here sometimes. "you live and expand around it" is a beautiful way of putting it. the pain is just so raw and recent right now, but everything is officially finished now and i can really take the time to grieve. "this too shall pass," as my grandmother always says :)

[twiishaa]

my thoughts on the music video of ‘rolling girl’ by wowaka

this song is so good and the music video is really interesting so i wanted to share my thoughts on it 💗 also rest in peace wowaka you were a genius who changed the name of vocaloid forever 🕊️🕊️

TW: su1c1d@l thoughts mentioned, the idea that miku dies at the end of the mv/song

⬆️ if you’re not comfortable with the things mentioned above, please scroll! i don’t want anyone to feel uncomfortable 🩷🩷

link to the mv: https://youtu.be/NIqm73xsias?si=z0Mk0qel-mjoh46W

who is the boy in the MV?

^in the music video, there is a boy shown multiple times throughout the video. this boy could be her ‘saviour’, someone who gets her to stop ‘rolling’, (a metaphor for miku’s depression and feelings of loss of self), and the song could be from the perspective of this boy, how he sees this girl (miku), looking so sad in school and realises the spiral she’s going down and saving her from it all. she’s so violent/cold towards him because she doesn’t see where’s shes going herself and so decides to villain-ise him. it makes sense, until you come into contact with the final line of the chorus.

‘i will stop your breath, now.’

the first time it is said, it’s not a problem, because it’s probably just her overreacting to someone trying to help her (also, it’s in quotation marks - which makes it miku saying it since we have established the song is from this boy’s perspective.) however, when you get to the second and then the final time it is said, it is said from this boy’s perspective. which doesn’t make sense. yes, it could be just him mocking her, but that isn’t likely, and why would he say it twice? why would it be the last line, especially when it’s emphasised since all the music stops?

so this made me think- what if the boy IS the villain? since we know wowaka loved to use metaphors to make things more cryptic in his songs, it totally makes sense. what if the boy is supposed to represent her inner conflict, or even her going insane/ her suicidal thoughts? maybe miku’s been trying to fight her inner conflict, which is why she is so violent towards him, and tells him she’ll stop his breathing, because she knows if she softens even just a little bit, she’ll be dead. therefore, the end makes sense- he got the better of her (she committed). even though it’s not said that she kills herself, it is implied, since the colouring completely changes, which could imply she has gone into the afterlife/ some world after the dead. also are we forgetting the main point- the most emphasised line in the song is the boy saying ‘i’ll stop your breathing now’??

as seen in the end, he says ‘i’ll stop your breathing, now’ and they are hugging. they boy looks a bit more content with himself, and miku looks tired, and even defeated. she sheds a tear- it looks like it’s a sigh of relief, even. which links back to the point of hatsune miku’s loss of self and being a people pleaser - everyone said ‘don’t do suicide!’ so she just followed their orders. she’s finally done something she wanted. (okay i digress)

there is a lot more hinting that the boy is the villain in hatsune miku’s head throughout the video. for example, the boy and miku are wearing opposites - miku is wearing black, the boy is wearing white. in the main setting (white screen with the two mp3s on either side), there is a part when the boy and miku are standing on either side of the mp3 player (mp3 = border between life and death?). also, the boy is only ever seen when miku is seen, and they are usually close together. there is a lot more by i don’t want to go into it now because i think this is enough

end.

note: i thought of this last night, i hope it makes sense 😭😭 i just wanted to say that i got inspo from a youtube comment under the music video, talking about if the boy represents her depression- i thought about it and then i wrote a little about it here 👹👹

[shirogane-oushirou]

OMG RO HAPPY ANNIVERSARY WAJFEKAHFEKE ;-; take this as an opportunity to gush if you want!! <333

KJNASDKJN THANK YOU NICK!!! technically i messed up yesterday, it's actually tomorrow kjsndfjkn, but i started the gif and art reblogging early bc i've collected so many lmao ;; i'm the only oushirou gif-maker and people WILL see my boy!!!!!

i was going to gush on my anniversary art post, but you've handed me a golden opportunity to do it here. you will regret this. :3c 💞

[cw quick mention of a scene where he's called a slur]

oushirou's been my most beloved, specialest, best boy since my first year in college. i was working my way through the games, and i saw his profile in some artbook scans, and i went... who the FUCK is this guy??? KAJSNKDJN. i hated his design so much; it didn't fit with the rest of the series's designs.

but he immediately won me over as a side character in the pc game, and then i was Doomed the second i booted up to play the PSP port with the added oushirou route (our 13yr anniversary is the day i started posting about playing his route lol). i became The Oushirou Guy™ in the eng fandom from that point on ;; and, of course, now i'm like "i need MORE characters who look like this guy, RIGHT NEOW" kjsnfkjn.

and then a year later -- 12 years ago tomorrow -- the last game released AND, FINALLY, he had his own karedanna cd! a fandom friend sent a rip to myself and my also-oushirou-lover friend, as we were waiting for ours to ship... and he proposes in it. my friend and i both made this day the wedding anniversary in commemoration. i even have some ancient joke art i made on the release day itself LMAO

i love him so much more than i think i let on; ren's my main right now, so that's what people know me for, but oushirou really is The Blueprint for me.

he's so self-driven. he could have lived a cushy, comfortable life following the family trade as a western fortune teller, but he would rather throw that -- and an unealthy relationship with his family -- away so he could follow his dreams of being a photographer and journalist.

and he's loyal. after his life is saved by another student (kazuki), and he realizes kazuki will be held back due to spending too many days recovering from the injuries he incurred, he makes sure he's also held back a year so he can play as kazuki's right-hand-man during the remainder of their time at seigetsu academy.

also like... ngl, him being a scorpio is like 👀 he's a freak like me LMAOOOO we can be like "every zodiac girlie hates our pussiessss" together. 💖

oh. and then of course he's the Ambiguously Queer Character of the series. he's a little fruity w it in general, he loves crossdressing, he's flirty with kazuki, homare, and shiki, he's stated outright that his love for kazuki and tsukiko are equal and he can't decide between them, and his fashion sense is just a little cherry on top ksjdnfk.

ugh. honeybee's just itching to call him a slur i s2g.... wait omg wait they actually had some one-off characters call him a slur in his first route KJASNDKDJNSDFKJN WAIT???????? I JUST REMEMBERED??????? it was one of the first scenes i translated from his route i'm lksnfkns oh my fucking god. and everything since then has been like. doubling down without actually calling him anything. crying omg ksjdnfkjns.

ANYWAY. just a year ago, he was the character everybody associated me with, only beaten out once ren appeared. even my art username is based on him (zerofoursix -> 0-4-6 -> o-shi-ro -> oushirou). he's pulled me through so many things, from shitty college experiences to my health issues... to even being part of the reason why i picked art back up after i took a 5-6yr hiatus due to art school burnout. ;;

i love him so so much, forever and ever, my beloved hentai sentai red*, my adhd king, my most skilled f/o by a LONG shot**, my scorpio twin, my misunderstood weirdo... he's Everything to me 😭💗

* think i've posted about it once before, but it's a running joke that he's a sentai hero who regularly saves tsukiko from creeps in his AW route ;;

** photographer, journalist, multilingual, fashion-forward, western fortune teller, super emotionally intelligent... i could go on. the guy hides SO MUCH of his power level around others.

[celiastjamesoscar]

January 5th, yess!! Starting off the new year with a wonderful tattoo!! I'm so excited for you, I can't wait! Speaking of tattoos; I secured myself the tattoo voucher! With the shop's Christmas special and money I stole, I saved 350 bucks! This means that for a day session/2 half day sessions I paid muuuch less than it usually costs 😁

There is no better funny business than watching my all time favorite show and getting tattoos with a pretty girl. So that funny business is perfect 😉

O.M.G BUTTERS LOOKS SO ADORABLE!! His eyes are screaming for help but he looks like such an adorable gentleman 💗

🤭 Jon did NOT!!! I gasped out loud, this is fucking hilarious 😂 Jon is my man, I love how sassy he is. This is amazing, I can't stop laughing. Sorry Grace but Jon is simply the best! And I take back what I said about your fashion sense, it is wonderful! Your taste in shirts is EVERYTHING!!

I had another weird dream. I was trapped in some warehouse and had to escape Saw like traps in order to get out. All while being chased by 3 killers... I don't know what my brain is trying to tell me with these murder dreams. Melatonin dreams are the best, ngl.

Grace what are you doing on tiktok?? https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGeNCfvJS/

I’m so excited for my new tattoo!! I know it’s in a couple of weeks, but it feels like forever. “Money I stole,” miss ma’am 🤨 saving $350 is wild, but props to you for it!!

Speaking of your favorite show, I’m about 20ish minutes into the first episode, and you did not tell me Keke Palmer was in it!! I love her so much. And the funny business will be perfect because I said so 😊

His eyes are always screaming for help, that’s just his default look 😭

Jon is actually evil and I will never forgive him. He has zero filter and I’m starting to miss his random outbursts, but I will have him again next semester! You better like my fashion taste, I am known for my horrid shirts

Melatonin dreams are single handedly the most scariest yet the most entertaining dreams ever. But having a dream about Saw traps sounds horrible, I’m so sorry your mind did that to you

That is actual footage of me studying too 😭