#save a cowboy milk a cow

[royaltea000]

HOPEFULLY THIS WORKS - GILUSSY LINKS

https://freeimage.host/i/JSJqifp

https://freeimage.host/i/JSJq6sR

[kyrraen]

Save a cow, milk a cowboy 🥛🐄

[homoeroticgrappling]

Save a cow, milk a cowboy good LORD Hanger

[joydoesathing]

heres a challenge say everything you love about every single tnmn characters

BET ( but only some doppels will count and the rest don't)

Neighbors

Roman - I like me some serious no-nonsense/ i-am-done-with-life looking guy in accounting :). But he seems to also be actually someone with a soft spot for some things and is actually a really nice and chill dude

Lois - She's so pink and plump and has a beauty mark/mole (people with moles will always have a bonus in my book)

Albertsky - He gives grumpy uncle vibes. Looks like would probably throw hands without hesitation if the situation calls for it

Robertsky - He silly. Love the little quirks in his dialogue where he just greets the doorman "Hi." and says "I look as handsome as ever". Also, I love his outfit. Bro may have no eyebrows and neck visible, but his clothes slay so hard . Like there is no reason why his fit should have a fancy little blue scarf, but yet it does .11/10 XD

Angus - He's a devious looking little shit >:))). And he wears purple and is Italian.

Elenois and Selenne - They pretty women and have a mole

Arnold - His design is just SO CUTE. He reminds me of Jake from Adventure Time with his mustache. But mostly it's the eyes for me. I like to imagine that his eyes would kind of work like this

Gloria - Gives literal ✨Q U E E N ✨ (she could slap me up to the stratosphere and I wouldn't be that mad). Purple and has a mole. Her golden eyes are mesmerizing too

Izaack - His name's cool and he has the stare-into-your-soul blue anime ahh looking eyes

Margarette - Gives nice little auntie vibes and she knows how to make clothes. I would legit ask her for dressmaking tips just so that I could make historical clothes (I love fashion history)

Nacha - Honestly, when I first played the game, she scared the shit out of me because of the Stitchface doppel and I haven't seen her the same for a bit. But after I figured out she's a mom, she didn't seem that bad and I grew quite fond of her. And she cooks too (If you can see a pattern here, I like people who give of parental/familial vibes)

Anastacha - Girl literally gives the doorman attitude like she owns the place XD

Mia - Again, pretty woman. Love the style of her red dress with the pearls.

Dr. W. - Fucking nerd (affectionate)

Francis- The milkman fit looks nice with his face (but I still get war flashbacks from the plethora of thrists arts and the "save the cow, milk the milkman" line being done to death)

Steven - Here's me being a basic bitch rn, but I really, REALLY love them real rugged guy guys (military soldiers, firemen etc.) That, and also he's a tan boi.

Mclooy - Same reason why I like Steven + He's a DILF/GILF. Also I love to point out a little observation of how him and Steven are one of the most American and typically masculine people I can think of (it's quite endearing for me). A military guy and cowboy in one family? They've probably asked what a kilometer is at one point in their adult life.

Alf - He's so tiny and looks so polite. Posh looking lawyer. I love sweet old grandpas.

Rafttellyn - She gives marites energy (it's a Filipino term, you can go search it up) with her dress and style. No joke, she would low-key fit in with these people.

Even her name sounds Filipino to me with the -lynn at the end of her. I even jokingly pronounce her name as rap-ti-lin.

Others + VIPs

Henry: Looks like he really never signed up for the doorman job frfr XD

D.D.D : Amongus???????

Clown Mask: Silly face behind mask

Nightmare Clown: I like how the guy just gets so MAD and in denial when he loses the game in Unlikely, he phases out of the astral plane XD.

Keppler: He may not have a face or proper lore yet, but all I know is that he messed up big time and I wanna know how he's handling that.

42: Reminds me of that one time in science class when we were observing fingerprint patterns

Peach Peach: Probably one peach seed is his only brain cell that's floating around his brain space

Ghost Mask and The Flesh Nurse: Cool looking designs. Do they have lore???

Nightmares

Xezbet - Gargamel looking aah

Drugia - Arabian NIIIIIIGHTS ~~~~~ like Arabian DAAAYS~~~~~~. She looks like a genie :)

Barbatos- Chonky and spiky

Excel - Chonky and spiky, Christmas ham looking ahhh

Abducius - Well, he still has the little devious smile

Anazareth and Lilith - Pretty witchy ladies. Though I like Anazareth a lot more.

Chaugnar - *Siri, please play Ganesha by MASA Works Design". Also elephant <3

Nyogtha- Nice little details with her eyes

Zoth - I like his red robe (?)

Shub - Thick Medusa and she has a little heart shaped tattoo on her forehead

Yog - The fact that he was probably intentionally made to be a Great Value Edward Cullen by Nacho sama as an inside joke about Francis' simps

Quachil - Cute biblically accurate angel. And she floats

Yan - Ooh Chinese mythology reference.

Orcus - "Thirty years since all this happened, thirty years it took to rise. Blood on the floor and in their eyes, they took a bite and left it to die-". I had a FNAF phase before so this was a funny throwback

Ishtar - Goofy ass smile (affectionate)

Teutates - So, does he play in a band ??? XD

Ah Puch - Cutie pie that looks like a slasher villain. Also the surname tho? Gives me The Book of Life flashbacks

Dagda - Bug eyed scarecrow. He does have cool looking mouth stitches

Izanami - Ooooh Japanese mythology reference

[citysweet]

一 cowboy jean

♡ aot brainrot cause eren is alive and well (real)

♡ 537 wc

halloween but jean's dressed up as woody and you're jessie. jean clad in a plaid button down, a cow print vest over top, blue jeans (🤭) and brown boots with silver spurs that clink when he walks.

and you dressed as jessie with a gorgeous red synthetic wig. you guys arrive at the halloween party connie's throwing fashionably late. but you'd been eyeing your man since you guys got ready that night. you even considered not going just to keep him to yourself.

after leaving jean to talk with the girls (and getting some alcohol in your system), you make your way back to him. your hands wrap around his waist from behind, kissing his clothed shoulder. he looks down at you, pulling you in front of him while he keeps talking to eren and armin about whatever.

you lean against him, your fingers playing with the buttons on his shirt. after trying to hold off for a bit, you finally decide you've waited long enough. turning around, you grab onto his vest, batting your lashes up at him. "jean, i wanna go." you mumble, cutting off his conversation.

"already baby? it hasn't been that long." he says looking down at you, one of his hands coming down to cup your ass. you nod, standing on your tip toes to reach his ear. "wan' you, daddy." he nearly chokes on his saliva.

he looks down at you, smelling the alcohol on your breath and the way your eyes were filled with want. his eyes avert back to eren and armin who take the hint and walk away. jean grins and brings his free hand to join the other, slightly lifting you off the ground.

you giggle and press your lips to his. he tastes the liquor on his tongue, pushing past your lips with his own. your hands grip his shoulders and you push your body against his, feeling him get hard through his jeans. he pulls away with a groan after gently biting on your bottom lip.

"can't help it, can you?" he says, bringing his thumb to your lips. "mm-mmh." you shake your head, pulling his thumb into your mouth. "fuck...need me that bad pretty girl?"

"uh-huh, right now. please?" your words come out mumbled, but it's enough to make him smirk. he slips his hand between your thighs, roughly cupping the part of your jeans that covered your heat. a whine slips past your lips when he happens to rub your clit just right.

"bet i can make you cum right here? what'd you think princess?" you shake your head. as much as you want to cum on his fingers, you really wanted his horse cock :(, and not in front of everyone at this party. "no, want you jean." he laughs before rubbing you through your jeans again, leaning down to kiss your lips quickly.

"come on then," he pulls his body away from you, putting a hand around your waist to lead you to a vacant bed room upstairs. "can't leave my baby all needy, hm?"

he might be the cow boy, but you're his cow girl for the night and he does in fact milk you like one.

© citysweet 12:30pm 111623

一 save a horse, ride a cowboy

[leclerced]

see now like. thoughts about Max and Oscar with a girlfriend who has like a little farm with chicks and ducks and baby cows and sheep and horses. Max with baby cows and baby ducks. Oscar riding a horse?? save a horse ride a cowboy.

-

🩰

maybe its the texan in me but oscar riding a horse is so sexy. here are some scattered thoughts

they would spend a lot of their off time at her farm, like an off grid kinda moment !! it’s out in the middle of nowhere, in one of those little historic towns called rosebud or smth cute. they do farmer’s markets on the first and third weekend of the month; saturdays are for produce and sundays are like a flea market. she makes preserves and stuff like that with her garden harvests and sells that and fresh produce at the farmers market!! maybe does some kind of crafts and sells those on sundays, like jewelry or soap?

in the beginning, oscar’s probably really comfortable with all of the animals than max, and maybe just wants to impress her by helping out. max is chill with cats, but kind of disinterested in the other animals until his partners are spending all their time tending to the animals and he can never find them. like he wants a cuddle and they’re out in the chicken coop collecting eggs, brushing the horses, feeding the animals, or tending to the garden. max probably complains when the chicken coop or barn stinks and oscar n reader are just like, “yeah babe. animals shit here. help us move it over to the compost (:” and he’s scrunching his nose n walking away.

he goes out to say hi bc he’s been streaming all day, ends up helping them with whatever they’re doing as long as it’s not cleaning the barn or coop. she teaches oscar how to ride first and max watches from the edge of the fence, feeds the horses sugar cubes n gives them pets but it takes him awhile to wanna get on one. kinda worried he’ll get thrown off and not be able to drive. he’d love the chickens and ducks, he’d sit in the yard and ducklings would pile up in his lap bc he’d feed them berries from the garden. he’d have a herd of ducks n chickens following him around the yard while he scatters feed. he’r be soo happy that they’re following him around in the moment, but get annoyed when every time he goes outside a herd of birds is accosting him bc he spoiled them

there’s one day she asks for help milking cows and both of them NOPE out of the barn. she’s like ): okay i’ll call my neighbor he’ll come help out. they kinda wanna be jealous bfs and say, “no don’t call him we’ll do it.” bc wdym you’re calling another man for help when you have two boyfriends? but there’s no fucking way they’re milking a cow. neighbor comes over and it’s like a 70 yr old grandpa when they were imagining and stressing over some hot cowboy 😭

when it comes time to shear the sheep, they’re both fucking confused. she hires someone to do it bc she can’t do it on her own but they all watched and max and oscar are a bit amazed when it’s all over and the sheep are all so much smaller without the fluff.

[thehoneybeet]

I’m SO here for the cow reclist please do it! 🤍🖤

Okay so it turns out niche reclists are really hard. I have no idea how you and @sitp-recs do it. A million kudos to everyone who does these. Anyway, thanks @mxlfoydraco for the nudge I needed to get this going! This one was inspired by a post I reblogged from @corvuscrowned about the universal truth that love is stored in cows. Without further ado,

DRARRY + COWS

fics with the presence of at least one cow:

🍃 the treehouse near primrose downs (2022, M, 14k) by @softlystarstruck

Draco is sure his giddy joy is written all over his face, but he doesn’t care. He’s going to have a cozy magical house with his best friend, and he’s going to get cows.

🐮 Featured cows: Flora, baby Freya, and Felicity

I can't say enough good things about this fic. Not only does the word "cow" appear 41 times, but it is a central point in the story of Draco and Harry's gentle love for each other. When everyone else gets tired of Draco talking constantly about his cows, Harry listens. I am also in love with Mexican Harry exploring his heritage and also learning the harp (!!). A beautiful meditation of the kind of love that makes a friendship and a home.

⚡️ The Bolthole (2020, E, 54k) by @tepre, aideomai, and GallaPlacidia

"Harry, are you scared of cows?"

"No!"

“Because it seems as if you may be scared of cows,” said Draco, looking more and more amused.

“I’m not!”

“Is this your one weakness? Saving people, and… cows?”

“Fuck off!”

🐮 Featured cows: none by name, but several picturesque descriptions

This fic speaks for itself, but what I love most about it is the way it deals with grief. Harry is a hoarder; Draco is grieving. A gorgeous classic.

🌼 The Genesis Theory by @stationintern (WIP ch 6/13, 2023, M):

"I am aware that you're messing with me, Potter. You're laying it on pretty thick." Malfoy folded his arms, his lean frame only a few inches taller than Harry's. "I will milk the cow and do it without fear. Just to spite you."

🐮 Featured cows: Rosita the Undead Therapy Cow, Harriet, Juniper, and others

I am reccing this fic even though it's still a WIP because 1) The last update was a few days ago, 2) it's SO GOOD, and 3) there are named cows and mysterious necromantic flowers. Harry has a farm and keeps his life secret from the magical world, but slowly he begins to let Draco in. Go give the author some e(bull)ient praise!

Honourable Mentions (below the cut)

There are a surprising number of fics featuring farms but with no mention of cows. Curiouser and curiouser! Where did they go? It's a moo-stery. Of course, the reasonable explanation is that the farms are simply not cow farms (we'll ignore this for the present, because after all, these fics still have the lovely spirit of cows, and that's really what matters). So:

Here are a few fics involving drarry and farms:

Knead by @jovialobservationanchor: While there are no cows, Luna and Ginny's beautiful farm has thestrals, white bison, an erumpent, and a thunderbird.

Third Quarter Moon by pourcesalad: A nearly complete wip (you've been warned) featuring werewolf!Draco who works on a muggle farm, and a fascinating take on the treatment of werewolves in magical society.

Fruit Stand by @drarrily-we-row-along: Draco grows peaches and keeps bees. Breathtaking, soft, and tender.

In conclusion, the world is unfortunately deficient in drarry + cows fics. My dear writers, it would be so wonderful if there were more cows on your farms and in your steamy cowboy fics and on your roadtrips and countryside vistas (and if they had names)! Happy reading and if you have more cow-related fic recs, don't hesitate to moove those to the cowments.

[warnersister]

Chapter 12 - A hanging in the Spring of '63

The Highwayman Series | Chapter 11 | Chapter 13

You run down the stairs, ignoring every creasing and creaking step on the way, hurrying into the kitchen to open the cabinet and grab a single shot round from the casing. You load the gun and tug it along with you as you drag yourself back out the front door. Penny had already got the horses from the field and was feeding them with fresh hay out front, while Maverick was too-ing and fro-ing up and down the stairs with the men’s luggage. they carried little for men who travelled a lot, but they were honorary cowboys, so were more conscientious about their horse's wellbeing rather than their own.

you collected a small bag of belongings, you were thankful for your stubbornness to own little and stretch it to be a lot; as the majority of your personal items fit into the small luggage carrier that comfily sat on lightning's side without him kicking up a fuss about the excess weight. Penny attached that to your horse too, but you hadn't the time to thank her - instead setting off in a sprint in the opposite direction where the large crowd was anxiously stood in silence, prepared for the first hanging in decades.

"Today we see the righteous deaths of four highwaymen who stepped foot into the wrong goddamn town!" Sheriff Simpson announced, gaining a cheer from a few members of the crowd who were simply grateful to see their ages Sheriff still as determined as ever to fulfil his role and duty in this town. He stopped to cough into his precious rag, trying to absentmindedly ignore the blood collecting on it.

"These bandits have no reason to terrorise this town!" He said "That boy saved you Sheriff" Doctor Bates pointed out, scowling as the man as he held his sobbing wife close to his chest. "That he did, and i am grateful for my life - however i have ingested a foreign drug into my system: an illegal one!" He barks back "They shall be hung for their crimes against this country. They shall be hung for their crimes against California. They shall be hung for their crimes against Texas. They shall be hung for their crimes against Miramar. And he will be hung for his crimes against myself and my daughter." He spits "with no jury, Beau?" Mayor Kazansky asks from the crowd, but the sheriff can only go pale and avert his gaze from the all-knowing wise man. "The reverend has blessed you, may God forgive y'all in hell-"

"Let 'em down, daddy" A voice said calmly from amongst the crowd. the large group split in two, as if Moses repeating his parting of the Red Sea and there you stood; shot gun in hand, aiming it right at your father who stood next to the four men whom the rest of humanity deemed innocent. Beau swallowed harshly "put the gun down girl, and go home" he instructs "no." he raises his brows "no?" "no." you repeat, voice void of emotion. "Y' dont even know how to use tha' thing" he laughs, and you switch your aim; firing one of the two rounds loaded at a bucket behind him, hitting it dead centre and being more or less unaffected by the recoil. "there are a lot of things i can do that y' dont know daddy. tha' ya wont know." you say, re-zeroing your weapon on his wrinkled forehead. "you still think im the twelve year old who cried with her momma, who milked the cows, who cried into your shoulder. i am a twenty three year old engaged woman with a hell of a lot of life experience. momma's gone, daddy. its time to let me go too." you say and Beau doesnt know how to reply, he doesnt want too; because he knows that you're right.

there is a moment of stillness, where no one moves and no one does anything. "dont think i will not shoot ya" you threaten, tightening your grip "dont y'love me, girl? this if for y'own good." he splutters out and you laugh "no, this is for your own good. why'd it have to be Maverick who told me why Jake left five years ago, huh?" you ask and the others in the crowd look at the two of you in question "that the only reason he did not stay to be hung was 'cause you'dve made me kick the bucket!" people gasp "so untie the goddamn nooses and let these men down.” you instruct "loose your daughter and your life, see if i care" you grunt and Beau clears his throat, mumbling something.

"what was that sir?" the executioner asked "i said let the fuckers down. now" he repeat quietly but with a bit more intent. the four men are released from their death sentences and they all walk away from the showing ground and over to you, all standing behind you as the rest of the town seemed to follow. "c'mon gorgeous" Jake whispered and pulled gently on your shoulder when your stance didnt seem to waver. you hesitated, but lowered the gun, dropping it at your feet, turning to see Mav and Penny giving you the nod.

you take a deep breath and step back, turning from the man you thought you'd love until death "goodbye, daddy" you say, and a path between the people is made to allow you to all head towards your horses, saddling on and beginning to take the road westwards: not looking back.

Chapter 11 | Chapter 13

[feelin-lo]

A Pirate's Prize...

A Bloody Parchment fic :)

@aesopsbaby @boiling-potato @sealedchasm

Take a lookie here :))

It's only short because I ran out of ideas really quickly, maybe I'll expand on it, maybe not...

Deep in the brig of an infamous ship, lives a creature so scary, so blood curdlingly petrifying, so bone chilling... they say it could kill you with a single glare, have you in a snare... keep you, have you... kill you.

"Honey~!" The pirate grinned, walking down the steps into the brig, where a tank of water was kept with his beloved inside.

The Pirate; Meztli, was absolutely mental, for not only keeping a creature as terrifying as this, but for loving it unconditionally.

"I brought you some brekkie." He beamed, helping his beloved out of the tank.

"and who made it, was it you, or was it Trickster?"

The creature teased, laying back in Meztli's chest.

The creature; Lo, was a Merman. Top half of a Human, bottom half of a Fish. His fishtail was beautiful, like a ruby... shiny too. His skin, pale as paper and delicate as glass... he had long brown hair, beautiful piercing blue eyes... gills on his neck and waist, red fins on his forearms and back.

Meztli brought some cooked fish to Lo's mouth. "You needn't baby me, Captain, I'm an independent Fish." He chuckled, nibbling at the fish. "It definitely tastes like Trickster's cooking."

"Bah! That girlie can't tell her right hand from a sea urchin." Meztli pouted. "I'm teasing, Darling." Lo reassured, taking off Meztli's hat. "You know the rule..." Meztli joked.

"rule?"

"Save a horse, Ride a cowboy... Save a cow, Milk the Milkman... Save a ship, Sail the Pirate."

"excuse me?"

"Nevermind..."

Lo let out a little chuckle, looking at the tank he was kept in, then up at the small bouts of light that spilled from above. "When can I leave the brig? It's cold and lonely down here..."

Meztli sighed, running his hands though his beloved's hair. "I'm not sure, Darling... I could keep you in a bathtub in my quarters but... I wouldn't want any of my crew barging in... I know what they're like when they see a precious jewel... but... you, my beautiful ruby, are mine. And mine alone... if anyone dares to touch you without my permission or even dare touch the same water as you..."

He leant down, whispering into Lo's ear.

"I'll remove every one of their limbs and feed it to the sharks below."

Lo shivered softly, not only from the coldness of the air, but because of what his beloved captain had to say... "You don't have to go through all that trouble... For me.."

"oh but I do, my beautiful guppy, I do. Because you're my precious gem, my ruby... the light of my life... and an amazing kisser."

Lo chuckled. "You didn't act like this when we first met... when we first met, I remember you staring as I was caught in your fishing net, scanning my body, your hands gliding across my scales... then, your nose bled, and you carried me here."

Meztli scoffed. "Hah! I have no recollection of the event. But then again, any man or woman would be foolish not to feel weak and vulnerable by your gaze... you're like a glass of wine... sweet and bitter, causing a burn at the back of my throat... you make me lose my mind... my words slur, my movements stagger... and just like Wine. I'm completely drunk... drunk on your love..."

Meztli pressed a kiss to the back of Lo's hand.. "my one and only..."

A soft blush crept into Lo's cheeks as Meztli spoke more and more, taking off his purple Captain's coat and placing it around Lo. "Purple is the colour of royalty..."

"oh? Do you think you're the pirate king now, Meztli, Darling?"

"maybe so... and you can rule beside me..."

Lo chuckled, placing a kiss to Meztli's cheeks, then nose, forehead... finally, mouth.

"I shouldn't get my hopes up... I'll wait here... for as long as it may take. You visit me everyday, feed me... love me... dance a sinful dance under the moonlight with me..."

Meztli listened before pressing a finger to Lo's Lips.

"I would die for you... I would kill for you."

He moved a hand to Lo's waist.

"and I would do so, without a second of hesitation. Because you're my Beloved. My love...

...

...

...

My. Lo."

[zkylearnstherope]

Milk and Honey 🔞

Cowboy vic's out here saving the cows by milking the Milkman.

I was supposed to draw a wholesome Halloween photo, but I couldn't help myself. Kinky is our middle name.

Same as before, it's on the Discord Server and in Bluesky.

[syrooo]

Save a cow, milk a cowboy 😫

Wip - Cowboy Sukuna

[monstersflashlight]

The Minotaur cowboy idea has me thinking that the Minotaur wants to get us pregnant so he can see our tits filled with milk, and milk us

🐮🐄🤠🍼🥛

YES! You get it! As a disclaimer for the depravity I've written: I don't claim to be horny about the idea of lactation or possibly hucows. But maybe. I'm not confirming nor denying it. Like imagine:

Minotaur cowboy who runs a milk farm. A human milk farm. Human milk became a delicacy long time ago and since then, humble minotaurs like him had been recruiting women for the task. They milk the women every change they get. The cows (as they refer to the women working on the farm) are always ready to be pumped, always better if its by hand. His farm is the best out there because of it. The manual pumping makes it extra sweet, extra tasty. The quality is also improved every time the cows get stimulated, and who is he to deny them that? He's a good farmer, and he takes pride in knowing he takes good care of his cows. So he fucks the cows as much as he wants and they are thankful for it, that means more production and more pay. The cows get on all fours as soon as he enters the milking area, all of them expecting to be fucked and milked. He can choose the hole he likes, all of them ready to be fucked by his big minotaur cock. And then there's you. The longest working cow at the farm. The first one he recuited and the one which he loves the most. He always takes care of you last, making all the other cows cum but never emptying himself in any of them. He saves all his cum for you so he's on edge when he gets to your quivering pussy, so he can pump you so full you overflow. And then again. And again. He likes to have you leaking, from your nipples and from your gaping pussy. He loves to drag your pleasure out and milk you slowly, tortuously slow. Most times than not he ends up drinking your milk directly from your sore nipples instead of using it for product. He claims your milk is the best in his farm, and he has the right to drink it as he pleases, to fuck you as he pleases. You are just a cow, after all.

[viriporne]

Save a…cow, milk a…cowboy?

Full image under cut 🔞

[duck-of-the-mob]

Save a cow, milk a cowboy.

are you SURE you dont lactate? have you TRIED?

Well I ain’t ever /tried/ necessarily but how would- what would that even- WHAT TH’ FUCK ARE YA EVEN TALKIN’ ABOUT?!

[sanctus-ingenium]

what IS a puca? i know it's a fae gaelic monster but every interpretation i find is different.. are they linked to any specific legends?? ps your art is cool

oh i'm SO glad you asked

in the words of Seán Ó Chonaill:

"The pooka would get a man on his back and, when he was on his back, would race over the tops of cliffs frightening the man riding on him, and when the Pooka was tired of going with him, he would bring him back again to the place he found him. All he would do then was let him go ... It was said the Pooka could take any shape he wanted. He could make a dog or a horse or a cow of himself. It used to be said that it was at harvest-time the Pooka was most often seen, running among the hay-cocks, gambolling and sporting by himself"(Breatnach, 1993)

The púca is not a fairy (traditionally, i mean in my book i classify them that way but in reality no) but a supernatural entity kind of occupying the position of a cryptid? There are a lot of different stories. in the west (where I'm from) you usually hear about it impersonating farm animals to trick people. In the east it's cast more like the guardian of an old house. In wales, the pwcca is a kind of house spirit who hangs out in a house and does chores in return for food offerings (Coward, 2015). And for me personally, I grew up with the word 'púca' being used alongside 'taibhse', both meaning ghost when we said them, but púca occupying a more malicious boogeyman type vibe while taibhse would be the sad dead person type of ghost.

(way more under the cut)

(quick aside about the spiderwick chronicles phookas before anyone mentions them - i really like speculative biology as a rule but in this case i think it does the stories a disservice to flatten them out from their cultural context and portray them as just weird animals. because in all of the sources i looked at, it wasn't just a púca, it was THE Púca - the creature is a specific character, not a member of a species. and i feel like that's a pretty important thing to keep in mind when you're essentially rewriting a rich tradition of oral history - you can not divorce them from the people who tell the stories)

Anyway! because there's a variety of sources to choose from, I picked a couple of stories to use as a basis for the púca in my book (to be clear: there is only one púca in my book and that's the lord of lies, a title that has changed hands a few times. secondary/underling púca are just fragments of the big guy.)

Main source story was 'An Buachaill Bó agus an Púca', ['the púca and the cow boy', not like a cowboy cowboy but more like a kid who works on a cattle farm] recorded by Seán Ó Chróinín. You can find the full text in the first source linked in my bibliography and i REALLY recommend checking out the whole article because it's basically my bible.

This is my favourite of the stories and it's what caught my interest. In the story, the cow boy is putting the cattle away after milking when he gets harassed by "something" in the form of a young horse that throws him onto its back and goes off running with him. he gets back super late (unharmed) and the farmer asks where he went. the boy explains, and the farmer advises him to wear spurs. the next time the weird horse tries to fuck with him, the boy is like "alright sure i'll come for a ride" but the horse goes "hold on a second, are you wearing the sharp things?" the boy says yes and the horse immediately leaves him alone. later on, the boy is walking home from a party when something jumps out at him and knocks him off the path and into a bush. it's the young horse again and it holds the boy down while a big blast of light travels along the path. then once the light is gone the horse tells the boy that it just saved his life, because the light was a dangerous spirit that would have killed him. the boy asks 'who are you' and the púca identifies itself by name - uniquely among supernatural entities in stories like this. usually trying to get a name out of these things is p.much impossible.

there are a few retellings of that second part of the story. the púca is given the role of a trickster who never kills, but likes to frighten others seemingly just for the hell of it while also occasionally saving their lives. in the west the púca is usually encountered far from civilisation in more wilder areas and will take you even further out once he gets you on his back. he only lets you go when he gets tired

these aspects of the entity were more interesting to me than the welsh or leinster stories where the pwcca (or puck) is more like a brownie or guardian spirit that can turn mischievous and violent if you don't bring him the food he asks for.

i've also heard (but not read so no source) that they are linked to grain crops and blackberries

as for the appearance... the wiki article says 'always black with gold eyes' but i actually couldn't find any readily accessible online sources for that and i take a lot of what wiki says with a grain of salt - it tends to pick a single legend and hold it as Fact while ignoring contradictory stories. but in the journal article Edmund Jones and the Pwcca'r Trywn by Adam N. Coward i found a description: "Visually, Sikes stated that the pwcca 'has a sufficiently grotesque elfish aspect', and provided a sketch of a black, armless figure" (Coward, 2015)

isn't he beautiful

so in my inver books, i tried very hard to avoid the usual contemporary fantasy convention of 'all legends are true and what do you know they all live right here in new york/london' because words can't describe how much i hate that shit. like i said wrt spiderwick, i don't like pulling supernatural characters haphazardly out of various legends and shit and presenting them as members of a hidden species or whatever. the púca in my setting is the púca. i had to adopt it AND all storytelling conventions and cultural context because those things are inextricable from one another. i also am the type of person who likes to come up with scientific explanations for supernatural elements and i had to really fight not to do that while writing those books (it's part of the reason i pivoted so hard to mechs and spec bio dragons directly after finishing with inver). one of the fun parts of the inver books was that i explain absolutely nothing in them and the lord of lies contradicts itself 500 times and the reader will never ever know what was the truth and what a púca even is, really

Breatnach, D., (1993) The Púca: A Multi-Functional Irish Supernatural Entity. Folklore 104 1/2 pp.105-110. Available from: https://www.jstor.org/stable/1260800 [Accessed 7/5/21]

Coward, A.N., (2015) Edmund Jones and the Pwcca'r Trwyn. Folklore 126 2 pp. 177-195. Available from: https://www.jstor.org/stable/24774309 [Accessed 17/3/21]

[cursestothemoon]

I don’t know I’d this is enough for a headcanon or blurb or anything but I’ve been trying to think of more NSFW stuff and my mind went back to the American!reader things you’ve done with Fred so far and I can totally see Fred getting his American girlfriend a cowboy hat to wear while riding him because “cowgirls are an important part of your culture” and he just wants to “show his support for your roots”

Save a Horse, Ride a Ginger 

F.W. X FEM!AMERICAN!READER

17+ IF YOU ARE TAGGED AND DON’T WANT TO BE TAGGED IN SMUT PLEASE LET ME KNOW

Warnings: NSFW, vaginal sex, praise, teasing, language, slapping/spanking, finger sucking, unedited because its just on brand at this point

“Love, could you come here for a second?”

The sound of your boyfriend calling you stole your attention away from Molly and the scarf you were trying to knit. You stood up, apologizing to Molly for the interruption- though she didn't seem to mind much- and made your way to the living room. 

The Weasley siblings, along with Harry and Hermione, were sitting around the tv (a muggle television set Hermione had gifted them two Christmases ago) with random DVD’s strewn across the floor. Picking one up, you turned it over as you moved to sit next to Fred on the floor.

“What’s with all the movies?” You asked, reading a few of the titles. 

Fred turned to you holding up one of the plastic dvd cases, “We wanted to learn about your roots, your history, so we asked Charlie send over some stuff from where he is in America.”

You glanced back at the movie in hand, “Fred you’re holding up A Fistful of Dollars.”

He furrowed his eyebrows, “Fistful of doll-what? No, I’m holding a movie disc, love.”

“Freddie, that’s the name of the movie and besides, even if this was a accurate historical movie, which it’s not, it’s not even about my history...I’m from Seattle.”

He landed a flick to your forehead before pulling you into his lap, “Just be quiet while I learn about the Americans.”

The movie, one you’ve seen a few times already, came to end as the credits rolled and the Man With No Name rode off on his horse into the sunset. 

“Amazing...” Ron breathed out making you laugh. 

You were still in Fred’s lap, his hands holding your hips as you shifted to get comfortable. The action made Fred’s breath hitch, he was already turned on as it was and you just happened to notice. 

“Really? Clint Eastwood did it for you?” 

Your teasing tone made Fred pinch your butt in warning.

“No, but the idea of you riding me with a cute little cowboy hat on definitely did it for me.” He whispered huskily into your ear, his warm breath hitting the shell of your ear making goosebumps erupt down your neck. 

You turned to into his eyes, the lust swimming in his honey brown irises sent jolts of need to your core. 

“Too bad we don’t have one.”

Fred nodded, a glint of mischief burning bright in his eyes, “Yeah, too bad.”

In hindsight, you should’ve seen it coming. Whenever Fred wanted something he got, through whatever means necessary- this time it was a brother in America with a sense of humor just like his younger brother’s. 

Now here you were, straddling Fred’s bare hips as he placed a cow print cowgirl hat with a bedazzled brim on your head, the drawstring left to hang in the valley of your breasts. 

“Is this really necessary?” You smirked, starting to slowly grind your wet cunt over his hard cock making him close his eyes and take in a breath. 

“Is it necessary, she asks. It is absolutely necessary, this is an important part of your culture.”

You continued to drag your hips over his creating a delicious friction that had your head lolling back and lips parting to let a breathy moan slip by. His hands helped guid your hips, pushing and pulling you against himself. A response was lost on your tongue as you whined at the feeling of Fred lifting your hips off of him and ceasing the friction. He used one hand to position himself at your entrance, pulling you to sit down fully on his cock.

Fred moved his hands from your hips to your tits, massaging the flesh and rolling your nipples between his fingers before landing a slap on your right breast making you gasp.

“Go on then, want my little cowgirl to ride me.”

You didn’t need to be told twice, rolling your hips against his a few times before lifting up and then dropping back down, coating his prick in your arousal. 

Fred wrapped his right hand around your throat with little pressure while the other one trailed down to your clit, his thumb circling the aching nub roughly. You couldn’t help but cry out as you picked up your pace, your hips moving in half circles and figure eights to rub you just right.

Needing to ground yourself you placed one hand on Fred’s chest and held onto his forearm with the other, making him apply more pressure around your throat. The drawstring of the cowgirl hat was hitting your skin with each lift and drop of your hips. 

You were losing your power fast, becoming putty in Fred’s hands, and he could tell. As you let out another loud moan, he sat up making himself shift inside of you and hitting places that had you doubling of in pleasure and vision going fuzzy. His arm wrapped around your waist to hold you up and help you move on his cock. 

“That’s it, love, keep go- fuck- just like that.” He grunted, using his hold on your body to speed up your movements. 

Your head dropped into the crook of his neck, the skin warm and balmy and inviting. Your lips danced across the expanse of his neck and travelled up under his ear kissing and sucking with a fervent passion. Fred was doing the same to the top of your breasts, your tits littered with red and purple bites and bruises. 

An orgasm was fast approaching both you and Fred, his higher pitched whines and whimpers a clear sign to you and your clenching pussy a sign to him. He bit down on your earlobe as he moved you quicker, each time having the head of his swollen cock prodding at your g-spot relentlessly. 

“Wanna suck on your fingers when I cum.” You muttered into his neck before lifting your head up and opening your mouth for his fingers. 

Fred placed his index and middle finger on your tongue and you were quick to wrap your lips around them suck. You held his wrist with one hand, the other going on his shoulder to brace yourself as you bounced on his dick faster and getting him deeper inside you. 

Soon enough Fred could feel the unmistakable feeling of his balls drawing up, tensing as he neared spilling over the edge of his orgasm. He looked up to drink you in, your flushed face, eyes rolling back in pleasure, lips parted to let the sweetest sounds come from them, and lastly the cowgirl hat atop your head that pulled it all in together. The sight was positively pornographic, his American cowgirl riding him with a heaving chest and aching cunt.

“I’m- I wanna cum.” Your voice brought Fred back to reality. 

His free hand went to grab a handful of your ass, groping the flesh roughly and using the leverage to pull you down onto himself harder.

“Cum.”

It was all you needed to hear to let out a choked sob as your walls tightened around Fred, cumming on his cock. He wasn’t far behind, pressing your hips down onto his roughly, bottoming out, and stilled as he came inside of you, your walls milking him completely. His hot seed coating your walls, filling you up. The feeling so good, making you thank your lucky stars that you were on birth control and din’t have to worry about the consequences.

Fred held you close as you came down from your highs, pressing loving kisses on your shoulder blade. 

“You look so sexy in that bloody hat.” Fred sighed with a chuckle. 

The statement made you giggle into his neck, suddenly feeling bashful in your post orgasm bliss. At your response, Fred turned his head to place a kiss on your jaw then on your cheek before you made a move to pull yourself off of him. 

Fred whined, “No, stay...just a bit longer.”

You placed a kiss onto his forehead, lips smearing against his warm skin before moving to place a kiss on his nose, resting your forehead against his. Fred shifted so he was laying down on his side, as are you, with your leg hiked over his hip and face nuzzled into his bare chest while his cock- now flaccid- was still in you keeping you pleasantly stretched around him. The cowgirl hat had been removed and placed carefully on your nightstand, for later use. Fred bent awkwardly to grab the blanket and pull it over the two of you as he felt your breathing start to even. He tucked the edge of the blanket under your chin and watched as you drifted off into a peaceful slumber, face still in his chest and soft breaths hitting his skin. 

Fred fell asleep moments later, cock still warm and tucked inside your cunt, and holding you to his chest.

His American cowgirl

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