#satire btw ->
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
reinafish · 18 days ago
Text
Tumblr media
What even is this
47 notes · View notes
inkskinned · 4 months ago
Text
don't worry, they're joking! they're always joking when it would be something, like bigoted. because i'm not a bigot, obviously, i just vote for bigots - well, they're not bigots either, you can't really call someone a bigot just because they have religious views. this is the land of the free, and it's a christian nation, after all. you can pretend otherwise but let's just be real here; all our values are really based on the bible. anyway, i know you liberals get your panties in a twist - can i say that, or are you gonna cancel me, haha, #metoo - about every little joke he said and every little dramatic political view. oh, fascist this and fascist that. you are online too much, you love the word fascist because it's big and you're just paranoid about things.
well, no, i don't, like, read the policies. i have a life. and so what if they wrote - stop it, it's not a manifesto, okay? he eventually backed off from that - oh the vice president? who cares about that guy, that isn't real power. you're being dramatic, they're just spitballing. everyone makes big claims when they're out there campaigning. he just means he personally wouldn't get gay married. you want him to divorce his wife and get gay married? anyway, even if they cancelled gay marriage - it wouldn't happen, okay? nobody i know really cares about that - it'd be states-rights like those abortions you love so much. and you live in a blue state. you live in like the gay capital of the world. i don't know why it'd be so bad for you, you're borrowing trouble there.
and besides, you're missing the point of his campaign! you people want to be victims so bad you completely ignore what we're really voting for. there are tons of good things that happened because of his name and his policies - the economy, for one. oh stop, just because i can't tell you what a tariff is off the top of my head doesn't mean i don't have eyes. and stuff was better under him! well, yeah, anything good is his work, obviously. what? no, all the bad stuff was biden. and probably also obama. what do you even care about this, anyway? it's not going to effect you. it's four years.
oh my god, not the climate change argument again, i'm not getting into that. i don't care about it. if my house is beachfront that's great news for me. and we don't really know what's causing it. no, i saw you forwarded me those articles and i just laughed. what, do you think i have time to sit on my ass and read shit? huh? well, no, i like reading the babylon bee. they actually had a great article about all you climate freaks. and in the meantime, what do you want me to do? i'm not paying 4 dollars for gas. liberals love to talk about solutions but never pay for the solutions. what do you mean blocked because of congress. you gotta stop with the conspiracy shit.
no, my side doesn't have real conspiracy theories. the vaccine thing is a real thing. besides, you yourself don't like big pharma. just because i have an opinion, suddenly now you think big pharma is great? and this is serious, okay? your mom's friend's coworker has a kid that died from a heart event. i don't want you getting any more vaccines. i regret that you got them as a kid, i'd redo them. what do you mean you'd vaccinate your own kids? are you finally thinking of having some? you know i want grandkids - oh stop, i've never pressured you, i'm just saying that if you're going to get gay married, you might as well give me some normal grandkids to love.
stop, you know what i meant. what? no, he's not going to take away your right to adopt. besides, you could always use a sperm donor, haha, i know your high school ex would love to - jesus! okay! no need to snap. i'm just saying that you don't need to be married to have a kid. the only real benefit to marriage is taxes, haha. it won't change anything. oh my god, no, there won't be a rise in hate crimes. well, it's not his fault what people do in his name! he eventually spoke out against that, anyway.
what do you mean he supported them? i didn't hear him say that. oh. well, yeah, he said it, but like, he's clearly joking.
2K notes · View notes
polyamorouspunk · 8 months ago
Text
I’m fine with monogamous relationships as long as everyone involved in consenting and no one is cheating 💕
2K notes · View notes
to-the-stars8 · 8 months ago
Text
Okay, so, like, totally don’t imagine going to sleep with Jason Todd.
Don’t imagine warm hands reaching for you and deep breaths as he breathes in your scent. Also, don’t picture curling into one another in the early morning and laying your head on his chest—or him scratching your back in slow soothing circles. For all things good, don’t picture him breathing so softly and his face so relaxed as he sleeps.
Like, seriously, don’t imagine all that cute shit 🙄
733 notes · View notes
lovedrruunk · 4 months ago
Text
arkayne season 2 act 2 summary incase u faggortt
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
469 notes · View notes
a-lost-crow · 2 months ago
Text
Some Sniper fan interpretations I’ve seen here and elsewhere
Former text I was about to use: “I love when the red and blue mercs has a huge contrast in personality because it looks like this”
Tumblr media
Bonus interpretation:
Tumblr media
268 notes · View notes
thespiritssaidso · 1 month ago
Text
I could totally be Shawn Spencer. Literally all I’d need is a unrealistic photographic memory, the inherent ability to perform insane levels of deductive reasoning, a near inhuman attention to detail, an extreme extroverted attitude of genuinely not giving a fuck about what other people think, raging ADHD, and the social skills needed to flirt without pause. Other than that I’m just like him.
255 notes · View notes
waterghostype · 1 year ago
Text
Tumblr media
happy birthday to peak ninjago season
509 notes · View notes
the-crooked-library · 8 months ago
Text
the vampire lestat dropped his single a DAY ago and his stans are already having beef with swifties… 🖐️💀 guys chill you’re both having mental breakdowns to shitty lyrics, literally nobody else gives a fuck
169 notes · View notes
saxandviolins77 · 3 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
115 notes · View notes
dynasty889 · 4 months ago
Text
there’s something so delicious about how @anniflamma draws Odysseus. I think it’s because of the manwhore au and the Thunder Bringer animatics (both the ones for the livestream and Anni’s own) just makes it so horribly amusing to see him get more and more traumatized. I think it’s also because he gets manhandled by the gods all the time.
So here are some random tidbits I have about this particular Odysseus.
- Was definitely already experiencing depression pre-cyclops mishap
- Babygirls his way out of situations (literally anime cried his way out of dealing with Circe)
- My most favorite, beloved and depressed, constantly soaking wet man
- Odysseus doesn’t need trauma, but trauma needs him
- The most wanted man in Greece. And y’all know which type of “wanted” I mean.
- For some reason I really just want to slap him for being an idiot. Like, of all the Odysseuses (guys we need a plural for Odysseus) I just want to slap him so BAD for revealing his name. And AnniFlamma’s never done Remember Them so like…there’s nothing to be mad at 😅 ITS THE FACT THAT WE KNOW HE DID IT!!! I DONT HAVE TO SEE IT TO KNOW WHAT THIS IDIOT WAS THINKING THIS IDIOT MOVE WAS ACTUALLY GENIUS
- Anyway. What else? I had more thoughts but I can’t remember them.
- I personally think his victory dance move is twerking. And now I need him to twerk after stabbing Poseidon.
- In another world, Anni’s Odysseus was meant to be a basic white girl.
101 notes · View notes
mechamachine0 · 2 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
shrimpos hopeful pregnancy
100 notes · View notes
randominternetindividual · 2 months ago
Text
Why I won't eat vegetables (with pictures):
Tumblr media
This shit looks like grass wtf people walk on that shit.
Tumblr media
2. EVIL EVIL EVIL EWWHHH-
Tumblr media
3. Rabbit food!!! Do I look like a rabbit to you??? NO!!!
Thanks for your time.
56 notes · View notes
kopifurann · 4 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
just wanna practicing drawing Russia while im doing this little RusFra Comic im working on.
also want to see how im gonna draw Francis' and Ivan's eyes (what's up with Gil and nation with downturned eyes who would treat him like a chew toy lol)
123 notes · View notes
pixylpaws · 5 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
look! its 99% of the dressrosa arc in one picture! (luffy grabbing an immobile and severely injured trafalgar law before running straight through anything in his path iiiiin order to violently dethrone the nation's king!!)
one piece is the ever
68 notes · View notes
treeembrace · 4 months ago
Text
Been reading the news lately.
I can't believe people would celebrate the death of a man who was just trying to do his job.
Look at this photo I found of a group of young men, all smiles over this event.
Absolutely disgusting. And they call themselves Americans. What is this country coming to? 😤
Tumblr media
70 notes · View notes