#satan works hard

[watchyourbuck]

there’s no fucking way he can breathe in any of these

[slythereen]

i know we say it often but there is truly no beating the batshit crazy, could not make this up, absolute insanity of lestappen lore. wdym they’re about to start on the front row together on the anniversary of the inchident like what kind of fucked up coincidental magic is THAT

[urproblematicfav-arsonk]

So pretending Viv didn't retcon her own fucking lore drop on twitter by being like "omg!! If it wasn't obvioussssss, he was lying. Silly guy. Isn't the sin of WRATH such a egoistical, self absorbed PRIDEFUL guy"—

I'm very into this idea that Satan, and the Imps and all the Hellborn are the indigenous people of Hell.

Which would mean, that Lucifer got banished to a foreign land, immediately claimed ownership of it, allowed/told his wife to manipulate everyone with her singing, and then proceeded to flood Hell with human Sinner's that he also made legally above all the Hellborn. And then got...bored?? And quit actively being king to go make ducks and emotionally abuse his daughter.

Like, holy shit is Lucifer being a metaphor for white colonialism fucking INSANE. The running assumption (and Viv's bullshit on twitter) has been that Lucifer and the other Sin's were together as a group. That the circus theme, and the rings, and the Goetia was just the world they built. But, if Satan and the Sin's were just the indigenous people who lived there, that sure as fuck makes the circus theme more creepy?

Circuses have historically been horrifying displays of human cruelty. Human trafficking, the buying and selling of people with dwarfism as toys or pets, physical torture and extreme conditions, racisim, rape, animal abuse, just like...bad stuff. There were probably some circuses that were fine, but the vast majority of the time it wasn't done humanely or with any dignity to the people performing.

Lucifer, showed up and just like, forced the Sin's into a Circus they didn't want to be apart of? The Circus isn't a thing anymore, because Lucifer isn't as into it, and all of the Sin's seem perfectly fine not doing it anymore.

Thing is, who the fuck was this Circus for?

The only thing I can think of is Lucifer wanting to feel in control again after being banished, and trying to establish the Sinner's as the deserving and dominate "race".

He would've forced Queen B to humiliate and abuse her hellhounds to do...tricks and dances on balls or whatever the fuck, to show how lowly and animalistic they are. Hellhounds aren't like Sinner's. Sinner's are just people with animal traits, they're REAL PEOPLE unlike these dogs.

He would've forced Ozzie to make his Hellborn and Imps to do dangerous and unnecessary acts. The big difference between Hellborn and Sinner's, is that the Hellborn can actually die. So when the Sinner's see a Imp fall from a trapeze act, or end up set on fire and hurt, they'll see that they're inherently better because they aren't that frail. And again, historically circuses had a lot of human trafficking, sex, labor or otherwise. Ozzie runs the sex industry, and I wouldn't be surprised if there was overlap there in the start.

Mamm and Levi seem to be on the infrastructure side, building and maintaining the society and rings everyone lives on. We KNOW that Imps and Hellborn are underprivileged and lack resources. Hellhounds are forced into shelters where they're thrown out the second the little social funding they have runs out. Imps are basically constantly struggling, and never seem to have stable lives. I wouldn't be surprised if most of the support and care that the Hellborn need are being used to "fix" the "overpopulation" issue that Lucifer caused.

And Satan. Holy shit is forcing Satan, the original king to Hell, and the creator of the main indigenous peoples of Hell, to be the fucking "Law" absolutely horrifying. The fact that Satan is in such a high position of power(supposedly) and he's here, making an "example" of a Imp to get the bureaucracy off his ass and move on with his life. Well, if the god of Imps says that they're all disgusting rapists who are after the poor, innocent white Goetia then that must be true!!!! HORRIFYING. WHAT THE FUCK.

Lucifer forced the original gods of Hell to debase, and humiliate their peoples for the entertainment of his Sinner's, and then got fucking bored and left the circus to hide away in his castle. No wonder Ozzie is a consent freak and B is so concerned about people self harming.

There's a world, where Hazbin Hotel actually takes RISKS, and tries to do something interesting. But Viv backtracks every time. And also would never allow her villian characters to be...ya know....villainous. But Luci can't do more then be kinda a little abusive to his daughter but only in a sad way, otherwise he's not a gooodddd guyyyyyy nooooooo.

Anyway, I'm very attached to this indigenous Satan au. Fuck Lucifer, give the Imps their fucking land back you colonizing bitch, and let Satan be the king of Pride again. And stop forcing them to fucking celebrate your dad's son by claiming it's actually just about celebrating youuuu and your sinnn. Shut the fuck up you goddamn weirdo.

[consultingfujoshi]

so it's NOT just aziraphale comforting crowley here. it's both of them lamenting their complicitness in the suffering of humanity, it's them realising just how pointless it all is both of them making this one poor man's life miserable just to prove who's side is best (like this whole both heaven and hell torturing one guy to test his faith is that whole thing adam said about the stupidity of armageddon in MICROCOSM), and suddenly coming to the conclusion that they are the only ones who can understand each other. they have no one else in the world, in the universe, who knows how they feel. it's literally them reflecting on their respective positions in this great ineffable cosmic game of chess and realising they are not just playing opposite numbers, but are connected in such a deep and profound way such as that no one else would ever be able to comprehend.

and all of that is literally encapsulated in this one fucking screenshot. that's why it's eliciting so much inexplicable emotion in people. even without the context this shot is so provoking, but it really says it ALL once you understand what's really going on here. even without any dialogue or movement. the vast beauty that surrounds them, the purposeful distance maintained but nonetheless still sitting together peacefully, the quiet moment of reflection upon their places in the universe, and their places in each other's lives. the feeling that they really might be the only two people on earth who matter. what a beautiful place to build this season's romance from. I haven't even seen the scene yet and I'm already in awe

[kamuyagi]

Here it is, my magnum opus for the @antilucizine °˖✧◝(´▽｀) Please enjoy~ 

[murderluv23]

Azazel: *Receives word of Satan shittalking his father and claiming to be the original king of Hell.*

Azazel: .....

(Sometime later.)

Satan: *grinning ear to ear while shakily holding a tea cup and looking down at this bite sized prince.*

Azazel: ....

Satan, sweating: ....

Azazel: I just want to talk.

[qqueenofhades]

I am now being actively courted by TWO master's programs at the university. Terrible dilemma, etc.

[busy-bee23]

The demons of Saint Cathedral

You wake up to feeling a cold, wet sucking feeling on your toes. You gasp quietly, pulling back your foot and looking to see who the culprit is. “Frollo!” You gasp, seeing your beloved husband gently suckling on your toes. “Toes are not for sucking on!” You scold him.

Frollo’s face crumples. “But I want the BIDDY!” He shrieks.

You look at him sternly. Where are his manners?! “You want the biddy what?” You coax.

“Want biddy please.” Frollo says, pouting innocently.

“Okay. You can have biddy.” You say, taking off your shirt exposing your pillowy breasts. He stares at your nipples with wide eyes and suddenly howls in excitement.

“AWooooooO!OOOO” He howls, leaping forwards and greedily beginning to suckle on your teat like he has been starved for years. You gasp as his teeth dig in, he can’t get enough of the biddy! “MORE MOMMY, MORE.” He growls, ferociously draining your breast of its sweet nectar. Before switching sides he throws his head back and howls again. “AWOOOOoowoooooOOWWO!!!” And then he sucks your other boob dry.

When he realises he has drank all of the delicious substance his eyes darken. “Me want more biddy.” “T-There’s no more Frollo.” You say fearfully as he starts to convulse and foam at the mouth.

“BIDDY.” “No there’s no-” Before you can finish your sentence Frollo pounces, biting down hard on your nipple. Then… he bites your nipple OFF!! You scream in fear and shove him off the bed, your nipple spurting blood everywhere. Frollo chews on it violently like a piece of pepperoni. “That is very naughty Frollo! GO IN TIME OUT!!!” You yell at him. 

He starts whimpering, knowing he has been a bad Frollo. He starts to go into timeout when you get an idea…

“Actually, I have a better punishment in mind…” You smirk deviously, pulling a box out from behind you. Frollo starts cowering and whimpering like a puppy who has been caught pissing on the floor. (Which he has done before.) You open the box… There’s…. A HOLE…. You then command and shout and scream and yell and whip “Get your dick in that hole NOW!”

You then spank his soft and supple asscheeks, staining them red. Frollo obediently puts his dick inside the box, feeling excruciating pain. “WHAT IS IN THIS GOD FORSAKEN BOX?” He asks.

A dark cloud forms over your face…. “Thorns and crabs…”

“You wouldn’t..” Frollo says. You open the box revealing….

The crabs nibbling at his dick, which is red and bleeding, looking like a pepperami from how much flesh the crabs have consumed. They are performing a blood ritual with his penis blood and the thorns, and they are chanting the lyrics to “Butter” by BTS. Then Frollo realises they are calling to Cthulu….

And then Frollo starts panicking and breathing heavily. “What have you done to me? I thought you loved me?!” He cries.

You then shed your skinsuit and reveal your true form…

Satan.

You attach a collar to his neck and his feet. “You’re my crab now…”

“NOOOO WHY!!!” Frollo screams, but his screams get cut off as he begins to transform into a crab. He then scuttles away into the box. “You were always my favourite, dear Frollo,” You say, and then you look down at your bloodied nipple hole. “But that nipple was my most favourite.” You take a dump into the box and shove it away.

But then Frollo grabs the poo with his claw, beginning to write ‘i love you’ with the rancid turd. You notice and start to cry and cut yourself. You squeeze the blood onto the crabs which transforms Frollo into a human again.. But he is a half crab mutation. He still has his claws.

“I have an idea of where you can put those claws..” You say seductively, spreading your legs.

Frollo winks and polishes his claw with his nearby cumsock. He salivates on it to make sure it is nice and wet, then he shoves it up your pussyhole. He opens and closes his massive girthy claw.

“Pwahhhh, FISHY!” You say through a moan.

“Yum yum yum in my tum!” Frollo says as he takes out his claw and sucks off all your liquids. Then.. Frollo grimaces at a sudden irony taste. “Babe.. I think you are on your period.. You look down and see that he is RIGHT. “Oh dear.” You say. “I have no pads left Frollo, you will have to keep me clean throughout my week of bleeding.”

“This will be the week of your life..” Frollo says, before swirling his tongue in your hole to get ALL of the blood and juicy yummy clots.

[internetg111rl]

rip longlegs you would’ve loved tumblr

[turnipoddity]

Another paleromantic turnipoddity collab we are not worthy

another one is comin girl (it’s a comic… m working on it) BUT the fic is already available

[satans-knitwear]

its the pirate life for me 🏴‍☠️

Treat me ~ Tip Me ~ More of me

[whats-a-human]

Fellow southern hemisphere friends, reblog with a flower pic so we can help each other connect with springtime. Northern hemisphere friends are welcome to reblog too so we can reach more people!

I'll start. Have some hydrangeas from Brazil 💙

[lookanartdweeb]

Me playing Obey Me Shall we Date: I'm about to bully Lucifer

Me playing Obey Me Nightbringer: I'm about to bully Lucifer (affectionate)

...😬 time to start from square 1 again hahaaa.... 🥲🥲🥲 all my heckin stuff I wish it moved so I didn't have to start at 0 again I had so much stuff

also I have grad school work I should be doing why did I start now LMAO Lucifer would be disappointed but that's the goal so

[jellyshark-jester]

Feeling brave.

Nsfw below

It’s mid and I cba finishing this(haha) anyways I’m gonna go eat food now

[ninjnerd-anaklusmos]

Apologies for the shit quality of the pic, but-

Me and @note-katha have posted the first chapter of our collab work!!!!

I hope y'all will go read it and that you all enjoy the story we have :)

It can be read here.

[makeitlookdecent]

you would not believe who just lost 20 times in a row,