#it can’t get crazier

[slythereen]

i know we say it often but there is truly no beating the batshit crazy, could not make this up, absolute insanity of lestappen lore. wdym they’re about to start on the front row together on the anniversary of the inchident like what kind of fucked up coincidental magic is THAT

[krtri]

likelihood jean and harry can work it out: 3%

likelihood jean and harry can work it out if cuno is around: 27%

[maprron]

Honestly I think Asuka genuinely thinks Natsu and Lucy are a couple because they act enough like if 😭

[feyres-divorce-lawyer]

older HP fans losing their minds over miriam margolyes saying that shit was for kids and she worries over their continued obsession is sooo funny cuz they don’t have the same energy for jkr’s known and well-documented transphobia. your continued monetary support of hp is directly funding terf organizations btw.

[righteous-r0de0]

i named him perseus after the perseus constellation but he goes by percy for short obvi

and his listener is an uninformed unempowered human

[27-royal-teas]

hanging off the couch eyes wide hands trembling covered in blood that may or may not be mine. well. it was the friends we made along the way

[nectorbruise]

My creativity is now renewed due to my anger at the govt. and America in general, and I might write until my fingers break in half. Not really though, Im fine, I promise

[caifanes]

figs arc with her mom in freshman year always gets me where it hurts ahhhhhh

[priestfrommidnightmass]

i’m so drunk @ that one scene from these violent delights 😭😭😭 THAT ONE SCENE FROM THESE VIOLENT DELIGHTS

[jemmo]

my mind the whole time im watching his man 2 is just that tiktok sound that’s like “this is so sick and twisteddddddd”

[nightly-ruse]

Overly complicated Ashstar Au: Part 1

(Spans over TNP, PO3, TBC. In this I don’t think OOTS would happen since the conflict is changed and AVOS would happen but in a shorter span of time, in like a super edition or short series)

Inspired a lot by @lockandkeyhyena ‘s au! Go check him out he’s making a animatic currently and it looks awesome for his ashstar au. Part 2 here!

Bramble becomes deputy of TC like in canon, he and Squirrel are mates but problems ofc are there bc he doesn’t like Ashfur and he’s her friend. But Squirrel doesn’t trust Hawkfrost and Bramble is being a little pissy boy about it, punishing her a lot. Very toxic already. (For technicality’s sake I’m saying he trained Whitepaw while Ash trained Birchpaw)

While Ash is now dating Hawk he does still have this attachment to Squirrel. And definitely hates seeing how Bramble treats her.

Hawkfrost crafts his plan to test his brother, either he kills Firestar or he betrays him and if he does then Ash is to leap from the bushes behind him and knock him out. What they get planned for was Brambleclaw attacking Hawkfrost. Caught in surprise he couldn’t roll out of the way of the stake going through his chest. Ashfur is horrified and leap out, but he has to act fast so he rescues Firestar who was coming back from receiving his life and told him that Bramble was working with Hawkfrost to kill him and become leader just like Tigerstar did! Fire is shocked but remembers Tigerclaw doing the same to Bluestar so long ago so he denounces Brambleclaw as deputy and makes Ashfur his deputy instead.

Squirrelflight is obviously horrified, she suspected Hawk of being untrustworthy but never her own mate. She breaks up with him and cries to Ash about it, who can’t help but love that he’s the one she turned to. Though ever beat of his heart reminds him of Hawkfrost. He felt this airy love and warmth with him. His hatred to Bramble is solidified even more. Now Brambleclaw is treated as a cat in their clan, not a clanmate but just there. And Ash makes sure to make his life even harder by giving him many unwanted chores, keeping him away from Squilf, and always making him do Dawn and Dusk patrols.

A bit after this and still reeling from the shock of her ex mate trying to kill her father she agrees to go with Leafpool, and immediately takes in the three for her. When she returns she never states who their sire is, some believing it’s most likely Brambleclaw and she just didn’t want to associate him with her kits. But Ash, looking at the small gray spotty tom with soft blue eyes can’t help but wonder what if their his? Immediately he feels unsure but keeps up the act of a uncle figure to them, helping out when Leaf isn’t there since she’s always so cold to him.

Squirrelflight asks her dad to make one of them apprenticed to Ashfur, a gesture by her to show she cares a lot about him helping her raise the kits (tho it’s purely platonic on her end). As such he gets Lionpaw, the overly ambitious, quick to act, and roaringly loud young cat just as his namesake. While he does try to be a good mentor Lionpaw is a handful and he gets real tired of the guy, sometimes being a bit too harsh though he tries to be nice. He does notice the toms fighting skill and learns that battle training is the best way to keep him interested.

Then he overhears it, walking back to drop off his squirrel and take a nap, he hears whispering form the healer den. Curious he gets closer and sneaks forward to hear. Inside Squilf and Leaf are talking in hushed voices about the three. “We should tell them Leaf it’s not right to keep them in the dark! Plus their almost warriors.” He hears in a anxious tone from Squilf though Leaf’s reply was sharper and clearly a no “Squirrel if anyone finds out who really fathered them I’ll lose everything, they’ll hate us don’t you know? Their whole world would break if they knew!”

He jumps back and drops off the squirrel, shaking the bristling down his spine and trying to stay cool. Too emotional he takes a walk instead, going down to the lake to think. Ash knows they aren’t his now. The little hope of a life after feels like it was shattered. All he can feel is the anger bc if he’s not the sire to them, then their Brambles. The cat who killed his mate here at the lake and hurt Squirrel. Sorry excuse of a mate for her at all when they were together. She chose him? Anger fuels him and he wants vengeance. He would make them feel the pain he did at losing everyone around him.

(For note, no Squirrel never “chose” Brambleclaw over him this is deluded thinking that she is his and any relation to him would be cheating. She didn’t and she is completely innocent just trapped in the crosshairs of two horrible nasty guys who like to control her)

He gets a flaming branch, one he found while checking camp after it was struck by lightning and brought it to a bramble bush near camp, where he tossed it to start the fire. He plays up being the deputy by helping everyone out, going in to ‘save’ the remaining cats who he knows are just Squirrel, the three, and Bramble.

There it is. The three trapped, Squirrel having trouble to push the branch to them. He helps but before they reach the other side he pushes it over, hanging them over the fire on this teetering branch, any moment able to catch on fire and crash them into the fiery flames below. Squirrel shrieks “What are you doing?!” And he just scoffs as he hold the branch steady. She can’t push him away or he’ll lose his grip and the branch will fall along with the three shaking cats she called her kits.

He screams his feelings out. He hated them. He hated her. But most of all he hated the blood that ran through them from their monstrous father. He’s about to lift his paw and let them plummet but Squirrel says the truth. They aren’t her kits. They aren’t Bramble’s most definitely. She took them in because their mother couldn’t. She raised them as her own but she wasn’t the one to kit them. The three are shocked, Ash is surprised. But he can’t let them die now. They don’t deserve that. They didn’t lie or share any blood with the cat who murdered his mate. And they just learned their mom wasn’t even their blood mother. He lets them over, Lionpaw saving Squirrel from a branch as they fled that tried to fall on her but they all make it out with few burns.

None of them speak of what happens as he crafts his plan to hurt the one who really deserved it, not some kits who were innocent of it all. He’s at the river, staring at its moonlit reflection. Memories of laying on his mates back as they floated on the waters surface (like otters), the bright eyes his frosty eyes look at him. He’s swirling his paws in the light when paws slam into his back, pushing him into its depths. He can’t breathe. The waters filling his lungs. But he wasn’t weak, pushing up he launches the cat off his back but they quickly bounce back to finish him off. They wrestle, the only discernible feature of his attacker being hostile glowing green eyes. He’s pinned as claws sink into his throat. He’s about to die. But he can’t yet. No matter how much he missed Hawk he couldn’t see him till he fulfilled what they couldn’t.

“I know who your parents are! I know who really kitted you!”

[salsflore]

doing the quest tmrw cuz i did abyss today .. so far it seems like the entire fandom is 50/50 with furina, can’t decide if they want to beat the shit out of her or love her annoyingness

[alsaurus-loves-dean]

that’s the story and he’s sticking to it

[possibly-pasta]

Feeling like a nuisance and a bother in everyone’s life all the time

[icanlife]

The tight writing in Gravity Falls just gets crazier and crazier because Alex Hirsch in the director’s commentary of Dipper & Mabel vs. the Future (11:25) says:

“Ford sees Dipper as someone who’s special like himself. That’s Ford’s great flaw, is arrogance. Is he believes that there’s special people, and everyone else. That human attachments are actually weaknesses. And the song and dance that he’s giving Dipper right now, is the song and dance that he gave McGucket, back when they were younger… ‘You and me are different, we’re better than everyone else. We have a path that no one else can understand, and only us can do this.’ It’s a very seductive idea for Dipper… Dipper is a smart kid, but Ford’s projecting. Ford loves Dipper because he sees someone who’ll tell him ‘yes’ to everything. Who’ll never challenge him, who’ll do a really insane dangerous mission.”

I CAN’T BE THE ONLY ONE WHO’S SEEING THE BILL -> FORD -> DIPPER PIPELINE HERE. YOU CAN JUST REPLACE THE NAMES IN THE ABOVE QUOTE. I’M GOING INSANE.

Gravity Falls and the cycle of “Hey, person who feels outcast from your society like me, you’re special, fuck human connection, join me and be something great!”

[letoasai]

The Youngest Ancient

An idea where the JL has gotten word from Green Lantern that a planet has been destroyed. That threat is headed for Earth. 

We could blame it on Darkseid despite the fact that i don’t actually know if that’s within his power set. Bad guy of your choice. Keeping it vague works too. 

Danny finding out that one of his planets is gone and he’s not having it. 

~~

They were short on time. Monumentally short on time. Usually everyone would look to Batman in a situation like this. It wasn’t like his numerous contingency plans were a secret. The problem was time and an overall lack of information about the coming threat. All that was clear was the fact that Earth was in danger. 

Not even a normal, run of the mill danger, but the planet bleeding out of existence kind of danger. Supposedly it could happen so fast that the citizens of Earth wouldn’t even know it had happened. 

“There’s always begging an Ancient for help.” Constantine muttered, lighting another cigarette. As many members of the League as possible had gathered but brainstorming could only get them so far. 

Multiple gazes snapped to him but it was Wonder Woman who spoke first. “You think petitioning the gods would be a wise course of action?” 

“Could be the only course of action.” Flash muttered though no one looked happy about it. 

“Nah, it’s a much crazier idea than that.” Constantine said flatly. “We’re not talking about any of those old hats we’re used to dealing with. I mean an Ancient. Their powers are next level stuff. Above the gods on the totem pole, if you will.” 

Batman’s eyes narrowed. “You want to bring in a complete unknown.” 

“I want the planet to fucking be in the same spot tomorrow, mate.” Constantine snapped back. They were out of time but he evidently had more practice at being reckless then the rest of the League. “Heard tales of a new baby Ancient. A likable kid that has many of the heavy hitters doting on `em. Word is the baby Ancient is rather agreeable. Makes deals. Likes to explore. That kind of thing.” 

“Baby Ancient.” Superman repeated, clearly hearing the oxymoron in that title. “How does that work?”

“Well they gotta come from somewhere, don’t they?” Constantine shrugged. He didn’t know and he wasn’t going to ask. 

“I’ve heard the same rumors.” Zatanna heaved a sigh, adding credence to Constantine’s claims. “Even if they can’t do anything themself, they might have enough pull with one of the other Ancients that can.” 

Flash clucked his tongue. “We literally have everything to lose if we don’t do something. If no one else has any other ideas then we need to give it a shot.” 

“How long do you need to prepare?” Batman asked, his frown obvious. He never fully liked ideas that he didn’t have a hand in.

Constantine sat up straighter, taking a pull from his cigarette and already looking exhausted. “Gimme an hour.” 

“I’ll help.” Zatanna said, already standing. 

“Forty minutes then.” 

~

The light of the summoning circle was hard to look at. It was like a mini supernova right in front of them. The colors would have been amazing to look at if anyone could have opened their eyes to see it. 

When it dimmed, leaving only a toxic looking green glow around the circle, a young boy floated in the center. His hair was white and flowed even in the tightly air controlled Watch tower. The freckles across his face seemed to glow just like his green eyes. 

He was cute, and couldn't have been more than fifteen. He wore a skintight black suit, calf high white boots, and had a strange looking thermos hanging off his belt. So this was a baby Ancient. He looked utterly perplexed. 

“Um…” He blinked, taking in every member of the Justice League slowly.

“Welcome to the Justice League Watch Tower.” Wonder Woman said, ever the diplomat. “We apologize for summoning you on such short notice.” 

“Oh. Okay.” He was still blinking owlishly before his eyes locked onto one of the windows that currently had a vast view of space. The boy all but purred at the sight. “You can call me Phantom. What do you want?” 

“You’re the new Ancient?” Constantine asked without as much tacked.

Phantom sighed, shifting to sit even as he floated. “So they tell me. I didn’t know there was going to be a superhero test.” 

“We summoned you to request assistance if you are able to give it.” Batman said, taking over. “A threat is coming to destroy the Earth and we don’t have much time. Is there something in particular you would want in payment?” 

“Besides souls.” Constantine muttered which subtly alarmed everyone within earshot. 

“Destroy…Earth?” Phantom repeated slowly, head tilting. It was slowly occurring to everyone that maybe a baby Ancient really was too young to deal with something like this. “Why?”

Green Lantern sighed, arms crossed. “I’m likely the cause. Earth is the home base for Lanterns in this sector. The previous planet destroyed was also a home base.” 

Phantom’s eyes jerked up, his full attention on Green Lantern. “Previous planet destroyed? Where?” He paused, “And when? I have been feeling a little off.” 

No one knew quite what to make of the strange comment, but Lantern continued anyway. “A planet in the neighboring sector, 2813. It has been eight days, and before long, that threat will be here.” 

“Is it possible you know of a way to prevent the destruction of Earth?” Wonder Woman asked, but Phantom seemed distracted. 

He removed his gloves and was looking at the back of his hands. When that didn’t seem to tell him what he wanted, he tugged on his sleeve, making the fabric go invisible in small sections so he could easily look at his skin beneath it without the cumbersome task of rolling his sleeves up. 

He was covered in glowing freckles, just like on his face, but one by one the League members took notice of the way they moved. Phantom would twist his arm one way and then another and each set of freckles would be replaced by a completely new set of glowing little spots. When that didn’t show him what he wanted, he kept looking, checking both arms first before moving down his chest slowly. 

The League could do nothing but watch the strangeness before them as their follow up questions went ignored. 

When he got to a spot under his ribs, Phantom screeched. “It’s gone!” 

“Phantom…?” 

Phantom looked out the Watch Tower window, his face morphing into one of fury. His eyes shined brightly and whatever he was looking for, he clearly found. 

“T̢̜̞̮ͭ̓ͫͦh̨̻̼͓͓̜ͭ̈͆ȃ̴̩ͅtͯ̚͏͇̮̖̙ ̡̭͎̝̟͇͙̏ͣ̑͛m̵̭͉͈̳̟͎͈̲̋̋o͈̮̫͓̪͔͐͠t͉̬̉͒̈́ͪ͠h͉̠̭͓̞͎̺͓ͥͥ͘e̅͗̔̿҉̞̪̺̮̗̜r͙̪̼͈̐̉͞ ̫̥̳̿̾͒͑͞f͔̟͈͍ͯ̊̏́ù̶̯̬̫͈͕c̲ͣ̓̿͠ͅk̦̘̖̭͕͉̹̥̈̍̈́ͤ͘e͚̬͗͡ͅr̛̤̩̺͂̃̇̉ͅ.”

To say the Justice League was surprised by the shift in the boys tone was an understatement. 

“Yeah, i’ll stop your threat.” Phantom growled, easily leaving the summoning circle. He shifted right through the wall and directly into space without a care. 

Silence filled the room, no one entirely sure what they’d done by summoning a baby Ancient. “So that happened.” Flash commented. “Are we still planning for doomsday?” 

“We’ll see…” Constantine muttered. “Though if that kid gets hurt, might be bad for the universe.” 

“Not what we wanted to hear, John.” Wonder Woman said, looking out the window. Nothing looked unusual to her. 

~

In an hour's time, Phantom returned just as distracted as he’d been when he’d left. He remained seated in the air as he held what looked like a cracked marble in his hands. It was surrounded by a mist, and inside sparked with many different colors. 

Phantom seemed to be sealing the crack, a smile on his face. 

Batman was the one to approach, and if he was anxious it was hard to tell. “Phantom.” He greeted cautiously. “You’re back.”

“Uh huh.” Phantom said, eyes glittering happily at the marble. “I got rid of your problem. Earth is safe.” 

“Got…rid of.” Batman repeated slowly, a tinge of disbelief in his voice. 

“So we’re good?” Flash asked. “Good work, kid.” 

“Yeah, he deserved it.” Phantom said, finally cradling the smooth marble in his palm. 

Constantine was still smoking, but his eyes were narrowed. “Do i wanna know what you’re doin’?”

Phantom beamed. “I got my planet back! It was a little broken but i fixed it.” 

“Your planet?” Green Lantern repeated, adrenaline hitting him. “The destroyed planet!?” 

“Yep.” Phantom looked pleased with himself. “Now i just gotta set it back in time eight days to get everyone back on track and i can put it back where it belongs.” 

“Put it…back.” Batman seemed to have trouble with the skill set of one teenager.” 

It was Superman who slid closer with a disarmingly charming smile. “May i ask what kind of Ancient you are. I admit i don’t know much about them.” 

Phantom perked up. “I’m the Ancient of Space!” He ignored Constantine’s groan from across the room. “I’m really glad you guys called me about this! It would have taken me a while to find a planet destroyed out of the natural timeline.” 

“And you have time abilities?” Wonder Woman asked softly. Time and Space was a heady combination. 

“Nope! But Clockwork does.” Phantom said. “He’ll do it for me.” 

“Will he?” The Flash stared. 

Phantom didn’t seem to notice the incredulous looks. As far as he was concerned, everyone was simply taking his explanations in stride. Tilting his head back his eyes shimmered with power. “Clockwork!” he called, voice reverberating oddly. No one missed Zatanna paling or Constantine cursing. No one had time to ask either before a tear appeared just to the right of Phantom. It split the very air apart in a green haze before a portal opened and a man floated out. Wrapped in a purple cloak, the man floated like Phantom did but had a ghostly tail instead of legs and off putting red eyes. 

He had a staff donned with clock gears and mechanisms that ticked in an unsettling way. No one needed an explanation, which was good because Constantine wasn’t going to give one. 

This was the Ancient of Time. They had two Ancients in the Watch Tower. 

Phantom didn’t seem bothered and held out his marble with a smile. “Fix!” he asked cheerfully. 

Clockwork turned from what appeared to be an adult man to an elderly man in the blink of an eye. “You know time is sensitive, Phantom. Not everything can be changed on a whim." 

Phantom’s smile lessened. He looked back and forth from Clockwork to the marble and back to Clockwork again. “I’ll cry. Swear to the Ancients, i’ll start crying.” 

The elderly Clockwork shifted back into the form of a young man. “Do you think tears will alter the timeline?” 

Batman smiled, almost. He knew a mischievous teen trying to get his way when he saw one. That theory proved correct when Phantom honestly did begin to sniffle, eyes becoming damp. 

“An asshole destroyed a piece of me.” Phantom said, lips wobbling. “I felt it. I didn’t feel good.” 

Clockwork’s form shifted again, this time into the form of a young child. He heaved a sigh, “If you start weeping you’ll summon the others.” 

Phantom nearly whimpered, holding out the marble still. Every member of the Justice League watched with bated breath. 

Clockwork crossed his arms. “How far back do you want it?” 

“Yay!” Phantom beamed immediately, impressing upon how young he must have been. “Eight days! Actually, maybe nine. That might be better for them. I’m sure the…Green Lantern…people… can explain that they lost little more than a week in order to be brought back. That’ll be fine, right?” 

Green Lantern was too stunned by the question to answer but it was fine since it seemed to be rhetorical coming from the young Ancient. 

Clockwork turned back into an adult and held his staff out over the marble Phantom held. There was no discernible change other than the hands on the staff’s clock face moving. Phantom was nearly bouncing in place which was interesting to see considering his feet weren’t on the floor. 

“Thank you, Clockwork!” Phantom said, looking delighted and completely missing the way Clockwork just sighed fondly. 

“Hurry along home before the yeti’s start to look for you.” Clockwork said in a fairly familiar tone. 

“Yes, yes.” Phantom said distractedly, tossing the marble up in the air where it disappeared. He tugged at his black suit right over his ribs and did the same invisibility trick again. He shifted twice until he found the patch of skin that held the group of freckles he wanted. 

No one was close enough to see for themselves, but Phantom crowed happily. “Good! It’s back where it’s supposed to be!” 

“It’s back?” Batman asked, a hint in his voice saying he had a hundred more questions. 

“Yep.” Phantom said. “It’s really annoying to me when someone destroys one of my stars or planets before their natural life cycles have worn out.” 

“Is that a map of the galaxy on your skin?” Wonder Woman asked, charmed by the constellation of freckles across his nose and under his pointed ears. 

“No.” Phantom said. “It’s a map of every universe on my skin. They overlap so sometimes i gotta hunt for the one i want a little.” 

“Every…” Superman sounded like he had the wind knocked out of him. 

“Come, Your Majesty.” Clockwork said, opening a shockingly green portal with his staff. “You’ve had your fun.” 

“Okay, okay.” Phantom mumbled. 

“Majesty?” Zatanna whispered, confusion coloring her tone. 

Phantom whipped back around to look at her with a sheepish grin. “Ah, yeah. I’m the King of the infinite Realm. Let me know if anyone else messes with one of my planets! Bye now.” 

The Ancients departed and Constantine started wheezing. 

“I take it no one knew the baby Ancient was a king?” Flash asked, a very startled silence taking over the Watch Tower. 

~~

I know i originally said that the planet had been destroyed but that somehow turned into it being eaten or absorbed or something so Danny got it back. 

I really just wanted Danny to find a missing planet on his skin and freaking out over it. 

Feel free to take this idea, though i’m sure something like it exists already. ^__^

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