#sat down using my bad shoulder before and realised that shit is Not Healed when will my tricep return from the war

[kangaracha]

so tired so, so tired. tired. i'm tired. i'm awake but i'm tired but i would like LEISURE TIME but i am tired but i didn't even finish all my Tasks, my Learning. so tired

[scumbagg]

NSFT/18+

Space Ghost Coast to Coast

A/N: I purely wrote this as Bell instead of Y/N since I can’t bring myself to write Y/N fics 😂 

I recently finished MW2 and needed some Ghost food to heal my broken heart after the traumatic betrayal I witnessed. Also maybe a bit of DadPrice! giving a lecture. Here goes nothing..

Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley x Fem Bell

Word count: 3252

Warnings: smut, injury (gunshot), blood, swearing.

“Eyes up, scouts patrolling up ahead.”

Price’s voice in your earpiece came through at the exact moment the two men appeared in your line of vision 40 metres in front of you.

“Dropped him.”

Aiming your sniper, the guard trailing slightly behind fell to the ground before you’d even had time to place your finger on the trigger. Taking aim at the other man’s head, your rifle made almost no sound as you took him out a second later.

“Nice shot. Move up.”

“Thanks.” You whispered back. You turned back for a moment to the place you knew Price was laying hidden almost 90 metres behind you.

“Move, Bell. We won’t have much time before more patrols come along and find those bodies.” Soap’s whispered voice now, also in your earpiece - but you knew he was somewhere to the right of you hidden in the long grass. You crawled quietly through the grass. You heard the brush whispering slightly either side of you as the bodies of Soap and Ghost moved up to flank with you.

“Hold up, two more tangoes patrolling the fence line.” Price murmured a moment later. “Take ‘em out, or let ‘em move on. Your call Bell”

“No stragglers.” You whispered back. You heard the pops from Ghost’s and Soap’s suppressed guns as they took out the two guards ahead.

“Good call.” Price confirmed. “Can’t see anymore inbound. You’re in the clear. House up ahead is empty. We’ll regroup inside.”

“Roger.”

Standing up, you scanned the area out of precaution for more enemies. Satisfied, you nodded to the other two men to move up. The three of you passed the fence line and had almost made it to the back door of the house when it happened.

You heard it before you felt it. The sound of a pistol being fired in your direction had you spinning to face the direction it came from, when suddenly you felt white hot pain erupt in your left shoulder. Dropping to the ground, the sound was over almost as quickly as it started, but your eyesight went black as you squeezed your eyes shut in pain and gripped your shoulder as blood poured through your fingers.

“Bell!” The scream came from within your earpiece at the same time Ghost shouted your name, making your ear throb in pain. You hardly noticed with the burning coming from your shoulder, but you still flinched.

“What the fuck was that?!” You gritted through your teeth.

“One of the guards back there wasn’t as dead as we thought. He fucking is now. Don’t worry darlin’, you’re gonna be alright.” Ghost pried your hand away from your shoulder and replace them with his own. “Soap, get me the medi-kit from your pack, quick!”

“Darlin’?!” Soap laughed as he handed Ghost the pack. Frowning, he looked down at the two of you.

“He’s taking the piss.. it’s an inside joke.. had to be there.” You said through gritted teeth, glaring into Ghost’s glasses. Ghost said nothing as he worked on stopping the bleeding, but the minimal supplies in the kit weren’t doing much.

“Fuck!” Ghost said in a panicked voice. You were starting to feel drowsy, and the sight of all the blood was making you queasy. You could feel your head starting to spin, threatening to send you into unconsciousness.

“Ghost, she’s gonna be fine. Look, the bullet went straight through.” Soap said calmly, pointing at the bullet lodged in the brick in the wall just behind where you’d been standing. “It’s a clean wound, it’ll just need stitches.”

“Fine. We’ve gotta get her back ASAP. I’ll take her, you and Price grab the intel.”

“No, I’ll take her.” Price came into view, rifle slung over his back. “You’re the one that’s better with technology, you’ll get the intel quicker from the computer. Someone’s bound to have heard those gunshots, we’re sure to have company soon. C’mon Bell.” Price hoisted you up under your uninjured arm, replacing Ghost’s hands with one of his. Stumbling, you gripped Price’s arm for support. Looking over at Ghost, you noticed his eyes tighten behind his sunglasses, but he nodded in assent.

“Let’s get moving,” Price commanded, nodding at the other two. “Soap, Ghost, I’ll send for another chopper to pick you up. See you boys at home.”

*****

  Fourteen stitches and a bandaged shoulder later, the infirmary staff finally let you leave. Pushing open the exit door to the outside, you found Price leaning against a jeep waiting for you.

“What are you still doing here?” You asked suspiciously.

“Thought I’d give you a ride home. It’s a bit of a far walk and I assumed you’d be too hopped up on pain killers to drive yourself.” He replied, opening the passenger door courteously.

“Oh… thanks.” You said, taken aback by the display of kindness. It’s not that Captain Price was unkind; he’d just never shown any outward kindness outside of the field. You were surprised that he’d thought to even come back for you.

The two of you drove in silence for a few moments, before the question you were burning to ask broke its way out of your control.

“Did the other two make it back okay?” You tried to sound casual, but your insides were turning with worry.

“Yeah, they got back about an hour ago, no issues.” Price answered, concentrating on the road.

“And the intel?”

‘Acquired.” Price gruffed.

“Hmm, very good.” You stared straight ahead, watching the sun settle in the west. This was the first time in a non-formal environment you’d ever spent a moment alone with the Captain, and you weren’t sure how to make small talk with him. You sat in silence as Price drove you through the city. You wondered how he knew where you lived when it occurred to you that being a member of his team, he’d know where everyone lived. Not that you spent much time in your own house these nights. You thought back to a few nights ago...

The sound of Price clearing his throat awkwardly pulled you out of your reverie. Looking over at him, you watched as he shifted in his seat and waited for him to speak.

“What is it?”

Price sighed. “Look, I really don’t want to have this conversation. But I’ve told him the same thing I’m telling you now. This is one of the best task forces I’ve ever worked with, and I don’t want anything fucking that up. Understood?”

You felt your calm composure slip through the cracks as your eyes widened in panic. You glanced over to see him still staring straight ahead, his mouth set in a hard line.

“Wait, you know about-”

“Of course I fucking know.” Price snapped, watching you out of the corner of his eyes. Shit, so maybe he did know where you actually slept after all. “I know everything that goes on in my team. Look,” he said calmly. “I don’t give a fuck what you get up to in your spare time. It’s like I told him, I’m not going to report it. It’s not been an issue yet. Just don’t let it affect you on the job.”

“I haven’t! I’ve been so careful about trying to keep it professional while we’re on a mission!” Your heart raced at the fact you had been caught out.

“I know you have, Bell. But that man is head over heels for you, in case you hadn’t realised. I’m concerned he’ll let his feelings for you get in the way of the job. Look at today – he’s the best man on our team for tech, and he was willing to throw the whole job, just out of pure panic for you.” Price sighed again. “I’m not sending either of you away. I just needed to remind you of the main reason we are here. If you two can’t handle that, I’ll be forced to find someone to take your place on the team.”

“Does anyone else know?” You asked quietly.

“I don’t think so, but if Simon continues on the way he was today, I doubt it’ll be long until Soap catches on.” Price grimaced, then looked over at you. “Darlin’,” he grinned.

“Ughhh,” you groaned as Price pulled up outside what you now realised wasn’t your house. “I can’t believe he let that slip out.” You unbuckled your seatbelt, careful not to move too much that it pulled at your stitches. Opening your door, you looked back at Price. “Thanks for the ride, I appreciate it.”

Price smiled and nodded in response. “Don’t be too harsh on him about today,” he said, looking over your shoulder as you heard the front door open behind you. You closed the door and waved as the jeep drove away.

*****

  All your anxiety from the conversation with Price suddenly turned to irritation as you turned to face the man in the doorway. You stormed towards him, your uninjured shoulder hitting his lower abdomen as you barged your way past him into the hallway.

“Bell-” he began.

“Get out of my way, Simon. I need a fucking shower.” You snapped irritably.

“Here, let me help-”

“No.”

“Bell!” Simon pleaded.

“What the fuck was that today?!” You snarled. “You might as well just fucking announce to the whole place that we’re together!” You began climbing the stairs towards the bathroom, but stopped halfway there. Staying angry wasn’t one of your strong suits, and seeing him standing pleadingly in the hallway washed away your irritation. “Look,” you sighed heavily, coming back down the stairs so you were eye level with him. “I just had the lecture of a lifetime from Price. I can’t lose what we have here Simon, and he warned if we couldn’t keep it professional out there, then one of us would be replaced.” You stepped towards him, reaching for him in both apology and forgiveness. You placed a hand on his masked jaw, your thumb stroking along his hard cheekbone.

“I’m sorry for today,” he said apologetically, leaning his cheek into your hand. “Seeing you injured and in pain, all that blood… I panicked.”

“It’s okay,” you soothed. Smiling up at him, you smacked his arm playfully. “You’re silly, you know that right. Even I knew it wasn’t bad, and you’ve seen way more injuries than I have. I can’t imagine how you would’ve been if Soap hadn’t been there to pull your head in.”

Simon wrapped his arm around your head, resting his hand at the base of your skull and pulled you in for a hug. You lifted your other arm to place it around his waist and winced. It didn’t go unnoticed.

“How are you feeling anyway, darlin’?” He stepped back to survey you.

“Rubbish. These pain killers are doing their job, but I feel disgusting. I really do need a shower.” You looked over your shoulder towards the bathroom. “I uh... might need a hand actually,” you said awkwardly, wondering how you were going to manage without getting your stitches wet. Surprisingly, this was your first major injury, given your line of work.

“C’mon,” he said, pulling you towards the bathroom.

 Simon turned on the shower and helped you undress, helping remove your shoes, pants and underwear, aware of your fresh wound as he carefully pulled the shirt from your arms and over your head. His eyes filled with remorse as they fell on your injured shoulder.

“I’m so sorry, darlin’,” he whispered. “That guy that shot you… that’s the one I took down. I didn’t know he wasn’t dead.” He looked away sadly.

“Hey,” you grabbed his chin gently and turned his head so he was looking you squarely in the eyes. “It’s not your fault. Stop blaming yourself, no one else does. I’m fine.”

“But what if it had been worse? What if that bullet had landed here?” Simon touched your forehead. “Or here,” he said, touching the base of your throat. “What if-”

“Don’t think about it,” you said firmly, pulling his hand from your neck. “Simon, I said I’m fine.” Still holding his hand, you pulled it up to your lips. “There is one thing I am annoyed about, though,” you smirked as you kissed his fingers.

Simon looked at you quizzically. “Why am I the only one naked right now? Surely you’re not gonna shower in your clothes.” You stepped inside the shower, letting the water run over your head, careful to avoid letting it hit your left shoulder.

Simon’s eyes squinted, and you knew he was smirking behind his mask as he removed the rest of his gear and dumped it on the ground next to yours. As always, his mask was the very last thing he removed. No matter how comfortable Simon was with you, and no matter how many times you’d seen him without it, there were certain insecurities that were too deeply ingrained. The last piece of Ghost removed, and only Simon stood in front of you.

Simon stepped in the large shower with you. Grabbing a face washer and pouring body wash on it, he gently helped scrub off the dried blood that had made its way down your torso. He shampooed, conditioned and brushed your hair, knowing you couldn’t lift your arm to wash any dried blood that had knotted in there. Once you were clean, you grabbed the other face wash and carefully, with your good arm, moved it across his chest and abdomen. He watched as you gently made circles on his large shoulders and down his muscular arms.

You wrapped your good arm around the back of his neck and pulled him down for a kiss. “Don’t be too long,” you smiled as you stepped out of the shower and wrapped yourself in a towel.

Walking to the dresser, you pulled out some clothes and attempted to get dressed but you couldn’t pull the shirt over your head. You sighed, and sat on the bed resignedly, still in your towel. You heard the shower stop running, and Simon stepped out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist.

“Here,” you beckoned, reaching for him. Simon came to stand in front of you, standing in between your legs. You leaned forward and kissed his stomach, feeling the warm skin beneath your lips raise with goose bumps. You tugged on his arm, pulling him down towards the ground. He knelt, still between your legs, and leaned forward to bury his face in your neck. Almost a whole foot of height difference between the two of you, yet you were the only person who could bring Simon Riley to his knees.

Your good arm snaked its way around his broad back, tracing his spine, down to his hips to the edge of the towel. You heard Simon’s breath quicken, still lightly kissing your neck, when your fingers made their way around to the front of his towel and tugged it loose, letting it fall to the floor.

You lightly brushed your fingers down his stomach and over his navel, until you reached the base of his shaft. You felt Simon’s breath hitch as you gripped it in both hands.

“Bell..” he groaned.

“Mmm?”

He brought his mouth round to yours, kissing you deeply. His mouth trailed back along your jaw to your ear. “Why am I the only one that’s naked?” You felt his smirk against your cheek as he repeated your line back to you.

“Maybe you should fix that,” you whispered back.

Simon wasted no time in removing your towel and throwing it across the other side of the room. You laid back on the bed as he trailed kisses down your chest, taking a nipple in his mouth and thumbing circles around the other. Your hands threaded themselves through his thick hair as you massaged his head. Simon’s hands followed his head as he made his way down your stomach and down your navel, his hands gliding over your hips and massaging up and down your thighs.

You threw your head back and moaned in pleasure as he buried his face between your legs, his mouth sucking and licking at your clit. You gasped as you felt one of Simon’s fingers enter you, then two, and he slowly picked up a rhythm as his mouth and fingers worked in synch. You could feel your walls begin to tighten as you got closer to your orgasm.

“Stop,” you gasped. Simon looked up quickly.

“Did I hurt you?” He asked worriedly.

“Not at all,” you tugged at his arm so he pulled himself so he was hovered above you. “I need you in me right now,” you purred as you pulled his head down, his lips crashing to meet yours.

You reached down and grabbed his length firmly, stroking it. Simon’s eyes glazed over with lust as he moved his head back to your neck. Guiding him, you positioned him at your entrance.

“You sure?” he asked huskily. You knew he was teasing. He knew exactly what you wanted.

“Yes,” you breathed.

You both groaned with pleasure as he entered you, filling and stretching you out. Simon set a slow pace at first, until he was sure you had adjusted to him, then quickened the pace. His hands moved to your waist as he slammed into you, holding you in place so you didn’t move around too much. He pulled your legs over his shoulders and you gripped his forearms, lost in pleasure.

Simon leaned forward and your legs dropped to his waist. He took one of your breasts in his mouth. You moaned in ecstasy as he hit the sweet spot inside of you.

“Simon.. I think I’m gonna-” you gasped.

Still inside of you, Simon pulled you on top of him as he rolled onto his back. “Not yet, you’re not.”

“Owwwww!” You winced as the action pulled tightly at your left shoulder.

“Fuck! Sorry! You okay?” He asked worriedly.

“Yeah,” you moaned as you picked up the pace again. You brought your legs either side of his waist and pulled his hands to your breasts as you lowered yourself onto him, taking him completely. Now in control, you could feel every movement and every angle as you took him deep inside you.

Simon gripped your breasts firmly as he felt your walls begin to tighten. “C’mon, darlin’,” he groaned. “I’m not far off, myself.”

“I’m gonna come,” you whined. You rocked your hips back and forth and threw your head back as your walls clenched around him. You rode your orgasm out, and heard Simon groan as his own orgasm erupted into you. You fell on top of him, exhausted and satisfied.

Simon gently rolled you off him and onto the bed as he got up to get some water. Your eyes followed him, appreciating his finely sculpted body as he walked to the sink in the ensuite, grabbing a glass off the nightstand and filling it with water. He met your eyes as he walked back to the bed.

“What?” He asked bashfully as he handed you the water, aware of his nakedness.

“You’re beautiful,” you smiled drowsily, taking the glass.

Simon chuckled. “Are you sure you’re okay? They must be some strong drugs they gave you.”

“Hmmm... never better” you sighed as you handed the water back to him. Despite what you said, sleep was already pulling you under.

Simon leaned in and kissed your forehead.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

[ohmyeyesmyeyes]

Idk if you do one shots inspired in songs, but if so, Would you mind doing one with a Taylor Swift's song which is called "The 1"? With Mason Mount please

< i love taylor so much and i really hope i didn’t completely butcher this, but thanks for the challenge :) >

MASON MOUNT ONESHOT

the 1

( WARNING: little bit of angst and fluff?, swearing )

word count: 1.8k

Things don’t often go as we expect them to, and it’s often incredibly difficult to replan your life around that massive change and adapt your lifestyle so you can — in reality — live again.

It’s like trying to find your feet when you’re in the air — it feels impossible but you know with time you’ll eventually meet the ground again.

That’s what it felt like when you and Mason broke up four years ago.

You were fresh out of uni and at the time, you really thought he’d be it for you, and honestly, so did he. A break up thrown into the mix of having to navigate adult life just seemed to put a huge stopper on all your plans; the holiday you two had both booked for a weekend away in Ireland, the meals out with friends that you had to cancel, and the house showings you were set to attend.

Looking back on your relationship now, you realise it wouldn’t have been the worst thing to end up with Mason. All the years and effort and time put into loving him were — without a doubt — some of the best years of your life (at that stage in life), and did you regret it?

Not one single bit.

But four years is the perfect amount of time to heal, remove the salt from the wound and finish grieving.

But he was here. In real life.

You’d imagined running into him in the supermarket or on a night out with your friends, but a bus stop?

That one was weird. Mainly because you both hated catching the bus with a burning passion.

But it lead to a catch up over coffee.

It was a quiet place, out of the way of the usual lunchtime hustle and bustle in the city, and for that you were grateful. You could hear your own thoughts.

It was awkward at first, you couldn’t keep your eyes from fixating on his figure, his features, because four years can really change a person. He was much broader, his hair a little shorter, but he was still that same Mason you once loved.

You knew that because the first thing he did when he sat down was offer you that cheeky, charming smile that had you hooked from the second you met.

He’d asked how you were, and you answered honestly: you were living well, your best life, and to the fullest. And you knew and he knew that it wasn’t a lie.

He could tell by the smile on your face and the new, sparkling band on your wedding finger. He half expected that blow to sting a little — that you’d found someone and he hadn’t, but he was never one to be bitter whatsoever, at least, not when it came to you.

Instead, he offered his congratulations and the only inkling of regret he held was not being there when it happened.

I guess you never know, never know,

And if you wanted me, you really should’ve showed,

And if you never bleed, you’re never gonna grow,

And it’s alright now.

There was silence after that.

You had one thing on your mind, and you knew by the way he was looking at you that he was also thinking the same thing.

You took a sip of your coffee.

He mirrored your actions, seemingly startled when you placed your mug onto your saucer, the chink of porcelain against porcelain echoing around the small shop cutting through the previous quietness.

“I think I hated you for a while.” You murmured, and if Mason wasn’t leant over the table slightly, he would’ve missed the statement completely.

He nodded in understanding, his brown eyes shining with the faintest hint of guilt.

“I think I was so frustrated with the idea that we just…didn’t work, and I blamed it on you.” You paused, fingers twisting your rings.

He paused, mulling over his words, “And now? Still hate me now?”

You bit back a small smile and met his eyes, “No…I think it’d take a whole load of bad shit to get me to hate you.”

He smiled.

“That’s good to know.”

“I mean, I think it was a long time coming anyway, that break up.”

“It didn’t feel right for a while.”

“No,” you agreed, “as much as it hurt to admit, I think we just failed…as a couple. There was a point where we were just together for the sake of not giving up on the relationship, but with no real reason to continue.”

But we were something, don't you think so?

Roaring twenties, tossing pennies in the pool,

And if my wishes came true,

It would've been you,

In my defense, I have none,

For never leaving well enough alone,

But it would've been fun,

If you would've been the one.

He seemed to ponder over your words, and although he never voiced it, he came to the conclusion that you’d just put into words — perfectly — the itch that had been tickling his brain for the past few years.

“Despite that, you can’t deny that we weren’t something…” he started, before breaking off and shaking his head, as if the mere thought was ridiculous.

“We were something special. I think, had things stayed like they were in the beginning, that…you and I…” you waved your hand, tilting your head, and he nodded in agreement, taking a sip of his coffee.

“Me too. I think…in another life we could have made each other happy. It would have been fun.”

The words ‘if you would’ve been the one’ echoed in your head, and despite the passive aggressiveness of your conscience, you found yourself holding back a smile.

“Water fights in winter and eggs with ketchup…perfect. I’d never have gotten tired of that.” You mused, and he spluttered slightly on his coffee, laughing along with you in what felt like a decade.

I have this dream you're doing cool shit,

Having adventures on your own,

You meet some woman on the internet and take her home,

We never painted by the numbers, baby,

But we were making it count,

You know the greatest loves of all time are over now.

“Then again, who knows? Maybe you’ll fall over in the airport and some lucky person will help you off the floor—”

“You’re about to say something cheesy, aren’t you?” Mason covered his mouth, scrunching his nose in anticipation as you nodded.

“All this nostalgic bullshit has me emotional! I swear, just this once…just this once, and I promise you can laugh about it afterwards.” You swore, holding out your pinkie for confirmation.

He didn’t hesitate, and linked your pinkie.

“You’ll find someone else. It’ll be love at first sight—hey, let me have this moment…maybe love at second sight, knowing you… you’ll go to some really magical place and have the most amount of fun you’re ever gonna have…hikes, skydiving, looking after animals I’m sanctuaries…you’re gonna have the time of your life — like Grey and Swayze.” You sniggered, unable to hold in your laughs at the ridiculous scenarios.

Mason pulled a face, unable to hide a smile.

“Okay, okay. End of story: they’ll be perfect. The Chandler to your Monica or the Robin to your Ted. But, you understand what I’m talking about, right?” You asked, sighing out of frustration.

“You’re saying I’ll find my person.” He concluded, sitting back in his chair.

“Yeah.”

We were something, don't you think so?

Rosé flowing with your chosen family,

And it would've been sweet,

If it could've been me,

In my defense, I have none,

For digging up the grave another time,

But it would've been fun,

If you would've been the one.

“Like…your grandma and grandad. I want what they have.” Mason smiled.

“They’ll be pleased to hear that,” you said, “I don’t think they’re quite over us yet. You were too…you at family meals. They fell in love with you too.”

This time Mason really laughed. Really laughed. He threw his head back and the people working at the counter turned to look at him, fighting their own smiles at his carefree nature.

What you’d said wasn’t even that funny.

“Too me? Thanks, I think?”

“Oh, that��s definitely a compliment. You’re too damn charming for your own good, it’s a problem. You should come with a warning label on your forehead: EASY TO LOVE.”

“That’ll solve a lot of problems.”

There was silence.

It was relieving to say the least.

“That whole conversation was about four years too late.” You said, pursing your lips.

“Better late than never.” Mason murmured, his eyes trained on you.

The pressure on your shoulders was lifted. All the things that needed to be said were said.

As time passes, the wound heals — sometimes, but in your case, that was true, as hard as it was to come to that conclusion — and it suddenly became easier to recall the loss of what might have been without bringing you back to wishing it would be again.

It was nice.

“Would it be totally inappropriate—”

“Not at all.” You interrupted, shrugging at his raised eyebrows.

“You didn’t know what I was going to say.” He chuckled.

“I’ll have you know that years of knowing you granted me the issue of knowing what you’re going to say,” You said, pointing an accusatory finger in his direction.

“What was I going to say?” He challenged, “If you get it right, I’ll get you tickets to the next game.”

You raised your brows.

“Confident, are we?”

He shrugged, a smug smirk on his lips.

“I don’t think it’s totally inappropriate to be friends.” At your words, he slumped in his chair, hands going to cover his face.

“No.” He groaned, repeating the word like a mantra as you pumped the air with your fist.

“Three tickets to the next game in the bag.” You bragged.

“Honestly.” He whined, peeling his hands away. “Why are you so difficult?”

“You offered the terms.”

“Why am I so dumb?” He rephrased.

“Ah, I'm afraid only you can answer that one.”

“The brain cells I have left don’t have enough energy to come up with an answer to a question as philosophical as that one—yes, it was philosophical to me, okay?”

“I wasn’t going to say anything.” You promised, putting your hands in the air in surrender.

“Just remember who’s going to give you those tickets, yeah?” He teased, sitting up.

“Abusing your power, nice move.”

“Oh…shut up.”

“Weak.” You coughed, trying to disguise the fact you said anything.

He looked straight at you, highly unimpressed by your tactics.

“Very original.” Was all he said.

“Is it supposed to be this easy?” You blurted out, spitting out the words before you could rethink the consequences of them being thrown into the abyss between you and Mason.

He knitted his brows together in thought.

“I don’t know,” he answered honestly, “but we were friends way before, it’s not hard to fall back into old habits. I think that’s why it’s so easy.”

[whumpzone]

(masterpost)

(I wrote a very nsfw flashback from Col’s past, which can be read here. Heed the warnings and have fun)

As the days went by, Pet quickly realised that Master’s cat was a little… imperfect. He could tell from the way she sometimes bumped her head into doorframes, or table legs, that her vision wasn’t the best. She was old, by the looks of it. Old and slow, and Master clearly loved her very much.

“Hello my little Jaffa,” he murmured, scooping her up, running his fingers through her thick fur. Her eyelids sank down until she looked like she was fast asleep.

It made Pet’s chest ache. Why was Master making him watch this? Did he enjoy being cruel? Pet already knew he wasn’t here to receive affection like that, and the reminders hurt. Especially knowing Master could love his pet even if it wasn’t in perfect shape.

He still hadn’t been given any clear orders, and Pet was starting to think Master was giving him time to heal. Getting him as robust as possible before breaking him down again. The waiting was tough, and not knowing what was to come was worse. But Pet couldn’t speculate, he just couldn’t, or else he’d skirt too close to the memories he kept shut out- the ones he kept hidden, even from himself.

Master’s voice broke him out of his thoughts. “Hey, Col, want to come and sit up here with me? I have some biscuits here you might like.”

. . .

Col nodded in that quick, nervous-rabbit way of his, and stood up. He liked kneeling on the carpet, Linden had noticed. He kneaded his balled hands through it like a cat. Kneeling was fine, Linden told himself, as long as he didn’t crawl. And to the boy’s credit, he was doing very well with that.

He walked over now, at about to same speed Jaffa often walked at, trying to mitigate the impact of her frequent head bumps. Linden set her down and slowly grabbed his mug of herbal tea and the packet of biscuits, while Col watched him. Waiting for permission. Linden was starting to wonder if the boy was even able to speak, or if something in his past had rendered him mute. His past had clearly rendered him a lot of things- it was figuring out what could be healed that mattered.

“Come, you can sit here,” Linden patted the wooden chair. “If you want to. You can just get a biscuit and go back to the carpet, if you’d prefer.”

It was as if Col almost started to consider it, then thought better and forced himself into the chair, curling one foot underneath him.

“Comfortable?” Another quick nod. “Okay, good.”

Linden noticed how Col seemed to relax a little at that. Baby steps, he reminded himself. It’s okay to tell him he’s good, if that’s what he needs right now.

He sat along from him, close but hopefully not too close. He tore open the packet and handed it to Col. “Here. They taste nice. You can take one and eat it.”

He peered at it, like he expected it to bite. Then, constantly checking Linden’s face as he did so, he reached in and picked one up. Linden waited patiently, then took one for himself. As he bit into it, so did Col. Okay. This was going alright.

. . .

Master was eating one too, so they weren’t poisoned. Or maybe he had just built up a resistance. Or maybe they weren’t harmful to humans, only dogs?

None of that mattered, of course. Master had ordered him to eat. His orders were odd, they weren’t barked at him like Pet’s first owner, but that didn’t make them any less unavoidable.

It did taste good. It was sweet, nothing like the sour dog food that had sustained him for years.

Pet noticed he had dropped a small crumb onto the table and quickly licked it up gratefully. He wouldn’t dare waste food given to him. It was still weird, not eating from Master’s hand.

“You don’t- it’s okay, it’s just a crumb,” Master scolded him, and Pet ducked his head at the reprimand. Maybe it was funny watching him act like a human- Master was probably laughing at the way he wobbled on the chair, and held the biscuit in his disused hands, and fed himself. He was sure any moment now Master was going to smile and tell him how stupid he looked, what a dumb dog he was.

Pet drifted back to reality at the smell of something even sweeter than his treat. It was coming from the mug in Master’s hands, held securely between his fingers, each one with a painted black nail. Master noticed him staring before Pet could look away, and he cringed. Messing up as usual.

“You want a sip? It’s herbal tea. It’s hot, mind.”

Another order. Pet nodded obediently.

. . .

It was an easy mistake, and one Linden should’ve seen coming, given how out of practice Col was with his hands. Linden let go of the mug before Col had properly gripped it. Right over Linden’s lap.

Linden was aware of the burning against his thighs before he had even seen the mug drop. He jerked up, the chair clattering to the floor behind him, and Col gasped in pure horror.

“Shit, ow, ow, ow!” he cursed automatically.

Sounds beside him. Looking over, Col was already knelt with his face to the floor, trembling all over, and Linden’s thighs were burning and he really had to do something about that first-

“Woah, no, it’s okay, it’s just an accident, I have to get these trousers off, ow…” he muttered, quickly pulling his belt out and, suddenly realising he shouldn’t be getting undressed in front of Colton, scrambling upstairs.

. . .

Pet wasn’t sure if Master was still here- he had heard noises, he thought, going upstairs, but he couldn’t move. He was frozen, every instinct telling him to stay and take his punishment like a good dog.

He had hurt Master. He couldn’t stop trembling. His mouth quivered, his breaths coming out in whines. Fat heavy tears dribbled down his cheeks and onto the floorboards.

He was so bad, such a stupid insolent mutt, and bad dogs got punished, didn’t they, bad pets who can’t behave got belted and burned. Bad pets got taken upstairs to be restrained and, and-

Pet whimpered, a full-body sob that was so close to speaking he almost vomited from fear, and ground his face against the floor, trying to make the thoughts stop. That was his old life and he had a new Master now and this one might be different, he might be worse, but he couldn’t cry before it had even started and he had burned Master’s legs, burns hurt so badly and he was so, so useless that he just wanted the pain to start right now, so he could show he was sorry.

He could feel the cartilage in his nose jostling as he rolled his head. His heartbeat was pounding into his ears. He was in so much trouble, and he was so so sorry but it wasn’t enough. He wouldn’t be allowed to use his hands ever again.

A bump, at the top of the stairs. Footsteps. Coming towards him.

His thoughts went into overdrive. Master was coming and Pet had hurt him and now Master was angry. He had never seen him light up like that before, suddenly so quick and sharp and fierce. Pet’s hands skittered by his shoulders. He could feel every joint. Would they all be broken, perhaps? Burned? It would make sense to burn them. He deserved to have them burnt, even though that made him cry harder. Or maybe Master would concentrate on his thighs. Pour boiling water on them, then make him walk. Perhaps he’d peel the burning skin off and press knives to the raw flesh and make him scream. Or maybe he’d pin Pet’s hands down and bludgeon them until they didn’t even resemble hands anymore

You braindead animal. He’s not going to pick one or the other, you fucking idiot. He’s going to do them both and you’re going to thank him.

Master was stood over him, now. Looking at his unworthy dog, grovelling before him.

. . .

Linden couldn’t imagine how he would look threatening to anyone right now, in the only pair of shorts he could find, his thighs coated in cream. He’d had to roll the shorts up past his burns, and safety pinned them there.

But he knew, he knew, that didn’t matter. He knew Col wouldn’t look up from where he was cowering on his knees, sobbing audibly, and crack a smile.

The tall person in his care looked very, very small right now. He was knelt exactly where he’d dropped to the floor. No running, no backing away. Just like he’d been trained to. It made Linden feel ill. He had to take this slowly.

“Okay, okay, I’m here,” he started, keeping his voice slow and calm, knowing that his presence was Col’s worst nightmare right now. He had lost his cool earlier and he wished he could take it back, even though it was useless blaming himself. It was a shock, and a painful one. Anyone would’ve sworn. But he still felt a twist of guilt when he saw Col lock up, frozen in fear save for his persistent trembling. Linden could tell he was trying to stop himself from crying.

“Okay, you’re allowed to cry, crying is normal. Can you look up at me?”

Col did as he was told. His mouth was wobbling downwards, his nose red from being pressed against the floor. His hands were fully curled up.

Linden didn’t have a chance to say anything more before Col’s wild, terrified eyes found Linden’s belt on the table and he whimpered, holding his hands out eerily quickly, palms up, ready and unresisting.

Linden knew that if he took the belt and slashed Col’s hands with it, the boy wouldn’t fight back at all. He’d cry and moan, but he wouldn’t fight.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” he said. “I’m not. I wouldn’t hurt you, ever.”

He thought about putting his hands in Col’s, gently lowering them and rubbing soft circles with his thumbs, but he shook the thought away. Who knows what he might interpret that as.

Instead, he picked up the belt, feeling Col’s eyes on him while his back was turned, and threw it upstairs.

“No belt,” he said, “I won’t belt you, I won’t hurt you at all. Your hands are safe. I’m not angry with you. It was an accident. Can you look at me?”

He complied, of course he did. His eyes were burning with regret and fear.

“See my thighs? I’ve put some cream on them, to help with the burns. It’ll make them better.”

After a few seconds, Col nodded.

“You will know that burns hurt a lot,” Col whimpered, but Linden tried not to rush his words out. “That’s why I snapped. I was surprised, but not angry. I’m not angry. You can see in my face and hear in my voice that I’m calm and I won’t hurt you. Just because you spilled some tea on me, doesn’t mean you have to hurt too. It was just an accident. And I can tell you’re sorry.”

This was the magic word, it seemed. Col nodded desperately, eyes wide, as he blinked fresh tears down his face.

“Thank you. Apology accepted. It’s okay, it’s all okay. You’re safe and I won’t hurt you. In fact-“

. . .

“…And I can tell you’re sorry.”

Pet could have fainted with relief. His body was still prickling with fear, waiting for the punishment, and Pet couldn’t yet believe Master when he said he wouldn’t hurt him. But he could definitely show he was sorry.

He nodded, trying to get it just right, trying to look eager but not careless, guilty but not too pitiful.

I am so sorry, Master. Your stupid lowly animal is so sorry, your pathetic dog is sorry and won’t ever do it again, thank you for showing your slave pet mercy.

He was definitely being prepped for something, but Pet pushed it from his mind. Master was giving him a chance and he had to show his gratitude.

“Thank you. Apology accepted. It’s okay, it’s all okay. You’re safe and I won’t hurt you. In fact-“

Master walked somewhere behind him, returning a few seconds later with Jaffa in his arms, setting her down beside him.

“Jaffa always makes me feel better,” he said. Pet had no idea what he was talking about, but he nodded anyway, then leant down to kiss Master’s feet, thanking him with his body in the way that didn’t scare him. He only managed one kiss before Master stepped away, and Pet hoped it had been enough to show that he knew his place, and he was sorry, and he would do anything to please Master. It was a lot to show in a single gesture.

“I’ll be upstairs, if you need me. You’re safe, you’re okay, I’m not angry. If you want, you can cuddle Jaffa for a bit. Okay? Okay. See you in a bit, Col.”

Pet watched Master leave, his wiry legs climbing the stairs until they vanished entirely. Jaffa rubbed her cheek along Pet’s folded legs, and he nervously reached out a hand, sinking it into her fur. His hands, that he still had. Pet felt like he was starting to understand what Master was keeping him for, but he didn’t want to accept it. Instead, he stroked Jaffa and dried his eyes, the taste of biscuit still in his mouth.

(tagging: @newbornwhumperfly @whumpadump1939 @firewheeesky @whump-me-all-night-long @captainseconds @grizzlie70 @unicornscotty @lave-whump @princessofonward @cupcakes-and-pain @bumbumbea @whumpfigure @yet-another-heathen @secretwhumplair @whumps-up @as-a-matter-of-whump @temporary-whump-sideblog @getyourwhumphere @itzagoodthing @whumpymirages @soapparentlyilikewhumpnow  @zipadeedooda-drabbles @penny-for-your-whump @briars7 @legallylibra @whumpwillow @angel-stars @loyds-of-registry @tears-and-lilies @badluck990 @rosesareviolentlyread @vickytokio @neuro-whump @thingsthatgo-whump-inthenight @whumpsy-daisies @control-whumps @theydy-cringeworthy @starnight-whump @cursedandtired @jo-doe-seeking-inspo @justabitofwhump @glamrockgregory @rippedjeansandfadeddreams @genesissane @justbreakonme @addyez @httyd-chocolate @littlespacecastle @haro-whumps @extrabitterbrain @briars7)

[nalgenewhore]

good

elide x lorcan, modern/neighbours au, fluff + tension, word count: 3515

There hadn’t been a new resident in the building for a while, but the girl seemed nice enough. Really, he shouldn’t have been surprised that she moved in next door, considering that the unit next to his had been vacant for some time.

When he’d received the email from his landlord, Lorcan supposed he was simply used to only having to share one wall with someone and that with a little time, he’d get used to it.

He met her the day she was moving in, bright and early on a Tuesday morning. He’d held the door open for who he assumed were her friends – a tall blonde with wickedly electric blue eyes and a shorter brunette with upturned emerald eyes. Lorcan had nodded at their thanks and stepped out of the building. Then his sight had set on her, Elide Lochan. It was pure muscle memory on which his feet propelled him forward. He’d been so entranced by her that he’d been too late to prevent her from twisting her right ankle as she tried to save herself from falling off of the moving truck’s ramp, but he’d been able to give her a nudge so that she didn’t eat shit on the asphalt road.

“Ooh, fuck,” the woman said, a grimace twisting her delicate features. She hopped to balance on her other foot and sat down on the edge of the truck bed. She glanced up at him, muted gratitude flashing across her angular eyes, almost as dark as his. “Thanks,” she bit out.

“Welcome,” Lorcan replied. He nodded towards her injured ankle, “I can take a look for ya, ‘m a physiotherapist.”

Her brows arched up and she ran an eye up and down him. Lorcan resisted the urge to straighten his posture and his skin felt like it was tingling beneath his clothes. “Really? Don’t look like one.”

“Yeah? What do I look like, then?”

She shrugged, tilting her chin back to properly assess him. “Hmm… a boxer or something like that. Gang enforcer.”

He snorted, shaking his head. “Nah, s’not me. I mean, I’m a boxer’s physiotherapist, but I don’t fight.”

“Really? Who’s the fighter?”

“Ya got a lot of questions for someone whose name ya don’t know.”

She laughed and extended her hand towards him, “Fine. I’m Elide Lochan.”

Lorcan’s hand dwarfed hers and he could feel his calluses scraping against hers. Interesting. “Lorcan Salvaterre.” They dropped their hands and he gestured towards her ankle again, “Want me to check now, Elide Lochan?”

“Sure,” she chuckled, slipping her faded black Van off and taking off her sock, too, as it covered her ankle. Elide put them to the side and reached down to roll the hem of her overalls up.

He lightly wrapped his hand around her heel and lifted her leg to examine it, fingers gently prodding the already swelling skin. Despite feeling her eyes burn into him, Lorcan didn’t look up. “Alright,” he slid his hand up her achilles tendon and rested his other palm against the sole of her foot, locking it in place, “bend ya knee for me, yeah? Tell me when it hurts.”

Lorcan flicked his eyes between her ankle and face, tracking her pain. Elide grit her teeth as she bent her knee without moving her ankle and stopped after only a few degrees of movement. “There, it hurts there.”

He hummed and nodded, straightening her leg. “‘kay, move it inwards.” Again, she could only move it a few centimetres before the pain made her wince. Lorcan nodded, tilting his head to the right. Elide followed his wordless instruction and was able to move her foot further.

“Is it bad?”

“Could be worse, but yeah, s’not great, Lochan.” Lorcan tapped his finger against the swelling on the outside of her ankle, “See this, s’really swelling up, so probably a grade two sprain, which means there’s a partial tear in the ligament.” He gently put her foot down and looked up at her, her eyes wide. “Hey, s’ok. Sounds worse than it is, promise.”

“You said I tore a ligament!”

“Said partial, and these types of sprains are really common,” he told her, his voice even. “There’s gonna be some bruising later and you’re gonna have trouble walking for a couple weeks, so what you’re gonna do is you’re going to get ya friends to move the rest of ya boxes, you’re gonna sit down and keep it elevated and iced – twenty minutes on, twenty minutes off for the next two days, yeah?”

Elide nodded, the panic melting from her face. “Then what? I can’t just sit around for the next two weeks.”

Lorcan chuckled, shaking his head, “Ya got a compression brace?”

She shook her head, worrying her bottom lip. “No.”

“That’s fine, they’re pretty cheap down the street at Brullo’s,” he told her. “s’a gym, but they sell stuff like that. Get one of ya friends to go and get it, yeah? I really mean rest for the next two days.”

Just then, her friends arrived and their eyes snapped back and forth over the scene they were confronted with. The blonde rose a single brow, her hand cocked on her hip. “Well, this is cosy.”

Lorcan blinked. It wasn’t even nine in the morning.

“Shut it, Aelin,” Elide said, rolling her eyes. “I sprained my ankle and my new neighbour here is a physiotherapist. His name is Lorcan.”

Aelin looked at him as the other brunette shook her head and walked around her to check on Elide. “Really? What qualifications do you have? Where do you work?”

“‘m a licenced physiotherapist. Work for a private client.”

“Hmm.”

He rolled his eyes and stepped back from Elide, deciding it would be better to address her other friend. “I’m Lorcan.”

“Lysandra,” the woman told him as she helped Elide with her shoe. “Please ignore Aelin. She was neglected as a child and now has attention seeking behaviour issues.” Lysandra’s words were light with laughter and Lorcan chuckled quietly. “Is there anything we can do for Elide?”

“Yeah, make sure she rests and ices her ankle for the next two days. I told her, but it’s twenty minutes on, twenty minutes off for the icing and make sure ya get some sorta compression brace.”

Lysandra nodded, “Ok, we’ll do that. What if it’s still this bad in two days?”

“Knock on my door, s’unit 3D.”

“I’ll do that,” Elide said, something in her voice making him pause and meet her stare. “Salvaterre.”

“Yeah, you do that,” Lorcan replied, the tip of his tongue rolling against his lower lip. He caught the way her eyes tracked the movement. “Lochan.”

Lorcan parked his car in front of his building and picked up his bag as he got out. When he stood, he arched his back, hearing his spine pop in a couple different spots. “Fuck,” he groaned in sweet relief. He slung the strap of his bag over his shoulder and locked the car before walking up to the lobby doors.

As he slid his key into the lock, he glanced around, wondering if he would see Elide. He’d learnt a few days after she moved in that she was a baker and owned a local bakery-slash-coffee shop when she’d come to thank him with a box of freshly made wild blueberry and pastry cream tarts. They were easily the most delicious things he’d ever eaten and after the first bite, he swore he fell in love a little bit.

With his late schedule, he had to go to Fenrys’ fights which were always scheduled during the evening, but he would often run into Elide on her way home from the bakery. It had become routine for them to chat on their way up and smile at each other as they slipped into their apartments, their doors often closing with the same click at the same time.

Lorcan didn’t see her and his heart sunk a little in disappointment. He crossed over to the fire escape instead of the elevator and walked the six flights of stairs up to his floor.

The moment he opened the door at the third level, he could hear music playing, albeit muffled. He frowned, it wasn’t like the tenants to blast their music. Elide was silent and kept to herself, except for when they both happened to be out on their balconies. Lorcan liked those evenings, he liked sitting out there and enjoying his dinner while Elide had hers. They’d quickly found that they could talk about anything together and it was as easy as breathing. Within the month, give or take, that she’d been here, her ankle had healed up nicely, but there was still lingering stiffness and an ache if she was on it too long.

As Lorcan got closer to his apartment, the music grew louder too. He quickly realised that it was coming from underneath Elide’s door and figured she had friends over or something like that. Lorcan let himself into his house and the music was louder inside. He toed off his shoes, hung up his jacket, and put his work bag down. He walked down the front hall, pulling the elastic from his hair, which fell out of the high bun he’d shoved it in and tumbled down to his hips.

Lorcan dragged his hand through his hair, shaking it out and massaging the kinks out. The longer he listened to the music, he realised that it wasn’t happy music, not the type of song one would listen to with friends.

He stepped closer to their shared wall and leaned towards it, unable to figure out the lyrics. The melody was still blasting and Lorcan glanced at his oven’s clock. It was almost midnight, so she couldn’t be up for too much longer, surely. Lorcan decided that he’d go to the building’s gym for the next hour and by the time he returned, Elide’s little music thing would be over.

He moved to his room to get changed and in his bedroom, he could hear Elide singing along, loud and angry.

“...lost my mind, I’ve spent the night cry-ing on the flo-or of my bedroom, but you’re so unaffected, I really don’t get it, but I guess good for yo-o-ou…”

Lorcan smirked, shaking his head softly. A few minutes later, he was changed and tying his high-top Chucks, winding the laces around his ankles once before hitching a neat bow. He grabbed his headphones and phone from the pants he’d discarded, and he got up, moving towards his door.

As he walked to the stairs, fitting his headphones over his ears, Lorcan glanced back at her door, wondering what had happened for her to be cathartically shouting along to what could only be a breakup song.

He shrugged to himself and connected his phone to his headphones, playing his own music loud enough to drown hers out. Lorcan disappeared into the stairwell and jogged down to the gym.

Exactly two hours later, Lorcan stepped out of the elevator, his shoulders and deltoids stiffening from the workout he’d just finished. He paused his music and pulled his headphones off as he stopped in front of his door, pausing when he realised that music was still playing. Lorcan checked his phone to make sure that he’d paused the song and frowned in confusion when he confirmed that it wasn’t his music.

But if it wasn’t his, then it could only be… Lorcan snapped his head up, staring incredulously down at Elide’s door. She was still playing music and the melody matched the same song he’d heard before he’d gone. Sweet fuck, something was really wrong.

He wanted to go check on her, but Lorcan wasn’t sure if they were there yet in their young friendship.

Sighing, Lorcan just resolved to suck it up for the night. It had to end at some point, he told himself.

<3<3<3

Some point ended up being four o’clock in the morning. At first, Lorcan had thought that he’d gone deaf or something. He’d fallen asleep minutes after and his body, like always, forced him up three hours later.

To wake himself up, Lorcan had gone to the corner shop down the street and bought a cup of their coffee, which was practically tar, and a pack of cigarettes. The man didn’t smoke much anymore, but the nicotine would wake him up like nothing else so he’d given in.

He was sitting on the edge of the planter box outside the building, sipping on his coffee and smoking a cigarette. The smoke was bitter and alongside the coffee, Lorcan was feeling marginally conscious. It was enough to interact with humans, so he supposed it was good enough.

The lobby door opened, but Lorcan didn’t bother looking over until he heard a familiar voice.

“Oh. I didn’t know you smoked.”

“Mornin’ to ya too, ‘lide,” he said, his voice quiet. Lorcan looked up at her, drinking in the sight of her. He’d learnt quickly that overalls were a staple in Elide’s wardrobe. She was wearing a black tank top beneath her dungarees and her black hair was twisted into a bun at the nape of her neck. A red bandana was tied around her head, matching her tote bag.

She chuckled, looking down at her black Vans. “Hello.”

“Hey,” he replied, grimacing as he drank some of his coffee. “And I don’t.” At Elide’s look of confusion, he elaborated and took a drag from his smoke. “Smoke, anymore. I quit a couple years back, but it helps wake me up.”

Elide nodded, running a cursory eye over his slightly disheveled appearance. “Hmm, you don’t look so good. Rough sleep?”

He snorted, tapping his finger against the cig to knock the ash off. “Yeah, had a shit sleep. Some girl was playing her music real loud, ya hear it?”

She squeaked and blush as her eyes filled with guilt. Lorcan smirked and finished his cigarette. He stubbed it and tucked the filter back into the pack, pulling out the gum he’d bought and taking a piece. “O-oh, you, uh, heard that?”

“‘lil bit, yeah.”

“It kept you up?”

He shrugged, “S’not a big deal, I’ve had worse.”

“Still,” Elide said, her cheeks pink, “I’m sorry. If you want- if you’re free, you can come to work with me? I’m sure my coffee is better than whatever that is.” She tilted on her tip-toes, hopeful. “And it’s free.” Lorcan stood up, finishing his shitty coffee. He shuddered as he swallowed it and Elide laughed, tilting towards the sidewalk. “That’s a yes, then?”

“Sure is,” Lorcan grinned slightly.

“Right then.”

They fell into step and walked to her bakery, which was only a ten minute stroll away.

When they got to her shop, Elide showed him to the table closest to the counter so that they could be as close as possible throughout the day. Despite that, they didn’t see each other too much. Lorcan read through a few newspapers and the magazines Elide offered to him. Once in a while, she would come by to drop off a coffee for him, usually an americano with an extra shot in it. She brought him various pastries too, always lingering until he took his first bite and praised her for her talent.

Elide closed her shop at four and let Luca, her employee, go home early. “Wanna help me with the dishes?”

Lorcan grinned and got up, “‘Course I do.” He followed her into the kitchen and he washed the dishes while she dried them and put them away. “D’ya have a good day?”

She nodded, “Yeah, I did.” Elide snuck a glance at his profile, “Did you?”

“I did.” He paused, a teasing grin curling his lips. “All the free shit really made up for last night.”

Elide gasped and hit his shoulder, trying not to gawk when her ineffectual blow was met with pure muscle. “I already told you I was sorry for that!”

“Just teasin’ ya, Elide,” he chuckled, looking at her through the corner of his eye.

“Mm-hmm,” she replied, shaking her head at him.

They continued in a comfortable silence until all the dishes were done and the rest of the kitchen was clean. Elide pushed Lorcan towards the big counter, “Take those stools down and I’ll get something for dinner.”

“Well, shit, Lochan, ya don’t gotta do all that,” Lorcan protested, his eyes wide. “Really, ‘m not even mad ‘bout last night. I wasn’t ever mad, I swear.”

She laughed, shaking her head, “I know, I’m just teasin’ ya.” He narrowed his eyes at her as she cackled, throwing his words back at him. “Gods, man, sit already! I’m starving and it’s not like I’m going to kick you out to find your own dinner.”

He gave in and took the metal stools down, putting them in front of the counter. Elide bustled back with two beers and two sandwiches. The food was from the industrial fridge in the back and the drinks were from the staff fridge.

They sat next to each other. Both of Elide’s feet were on the spindle, while Lorcan only rested one on the bar and his other leg was stretched out, his heel against the floor beneath Elide’s stool. Dinner was a wonderfully domestic, simple affair. Like everything else Elide made, the sandwiches were phenomenal and Lorcan told her so, around a mouthful of said sandwich.

Elide laughed at his muffled voice, her head tipped back. He swallowed and stared, captivated by the sight of her joy. Lorcan didn’t bother to hide the fact that he was staring when she calmed and he smirked at her blush, casually draining the rest of his beer. His eyes tracked the way she watched him, swallowing once.

He put the glass bottle down, now empty. Nodding his chin to her bottle, which was also empty, Lorcan rubbed his fingertips up and down his jaw. “Done there?”

“Yeah,” she said, biting the inside of her cheek.

He nodded again and got up, gathering their trash. Lorcan tossed it as Elide got her things ready to go. He followed her out, flicking off the lights when she told him to. As he waited for her to lock up, Lorcan stood on the curb, head bent with his eyes on her, his hands shoved in his pockets.

Night had fallen and that was the only reason he reached his hand out to her, so that she wouldn’t trip over anything. Elide slipped her fingers through his and tugged him with her. He marveled at how naturally their hands fit together, her thumb pressed against the first knuckle of his index finger.

They didn’t talk much as they walked home. Somehow, their steps matched each other’s despite their not-so-little size difference.

They held hands all the way to her door and when she let go, his hand felt strange, a bit useless, too. Lorcan leaned his shoulder against the wall and tilted his head to the side, one corner of his mouth higher than the other. “How loud is it gonna be tonight? Just tryin’ to plan around ya heartbreak.”

Elide scoffed, flicking her eyes upwards. “It was hardly heartbreak. Don’t you think breakup songs are kind of cathartic?”

He shrugged, “Depends.”

She rolled her eyes at his taciturnity. She tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, it’d slipped free during the day. “Besides, there’s better ways of being too loud and pissing off the neighbours.” Elide looked up at him, shifting closer to him.

Lorcan arched a brow, making a show of slowly surveying her, eyes clinging to the curve of her hips. “Oh, yeah? Need a partner for that, hmm?”

It was Elide’s turn to tilt her head to the side and shrug, “I don’t think so. I’m a big girl, I can take care of myself.”

His pulse jumped, heart beating faster than it had two seconds ago. Lorcan ran his tongue along the undersides of his teeth and pulled it back to the roof of his mouth as he grinned, “Oh, I’m sure ya can, but I’m tryin’ this new thing, ya see.”

“Really? And what’s that?”

He raised his chin in challenge, delighted to see the heat and desire storming in her eyes. “Bein’ a gentleman.” Elide laughed at that, but Lorcan continued. “See, so I gotta lend ya a hand.”

Elide reached out, her fingers wandering innocently up his sternum. “Just one? And just your hand?”

“Lochan,” he murmured, letting her pull him down when her hand curls in the collar of his shirt, “you can have whatever that ‘lil heart desires.”

She sharply tugged and then they were kissing, weeks of tension and hesitation leading up to this. It wasn’t nice or neat, but neither cared as their mouths fit together. Lorcan’s hand rose to cup her jaw, his thumb on her chin, tilting her head up. Elide parted her lips for his tongue and moaned softly. She reached her hand backwards and twisted the door handle, shoving the door open. “Good.”

<3<3<3

an: i wanted 2 write smthng with good 4 u but im a softie now n i cant write breakup fics 😭

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[scrumptiouscloudterrorist]

You weren’t supposed to

This is a part of a series of scenes I’ve thought up while trying to fall asleep and if someone wants, I can write the rest of them. I already have one up. 

I’ve used a name and a quirk and I think at some point I will make these into an actual fanfiction out of these. 

I absolutely adore Denki, Sero and Uraraka, but I had to have someone say something so I had to use them so I chose at random.

TRIGGER WRNING! Depression, Attempted suicide, Angst, Heavy themes,

Ketsueki sat in his English class that was taught by present Mic, and he was trying his hardest to focus on the lesson since it seemed important. Mic was talking about the importance of therapy in the present day, especially among the heroes since they face the most loss and guilt. “There are a lot of heroes who face depression, and they end up committing suicide, so therapy is often offered to heroes for free for this reason.” Mic said with a serious tone and Denki scoffed and said “That’s just pathetic. If you’re that sensitive then you don’t even deserve to be a hero.” “Someone who is selfish enough to decide that their own feelings go above saving others deserves to feel like that.” Uraraka butted in and Denki nodded his head in agreement and no one else, but Bakugo noticed how Ketsueki was clutching his desk and his knuckles were white. Shinsou wasn’t in class since he was feeling sick, and he had elected to stay in his dorm.

“Yeah, they should just go through with their thoughts.” Sero said and Mic began to say “Hey now-” at the same time as Bakugo yelled out “Shut up you shitty extras!” Ketsueki stood up from his chair and slammed his hands down on the desk and speaks in a low, angry tone “Oh, So I don’t deserve to be a hero then? Do you think I’m fucking pathetic, huh? I deserve to want to die? You want to see what the world does to people? You think it’s all so perfect, but let me show you what the world has made me do!” Ketsueki then angrily rips up the sleeves of his dress shirt and jacket to show off his scars. Most of them were white and well healed, but there were thick red lines among them and there was barely any untouched space at all below his elbows. “That’s not what we-” Denki began to say, but Ketsueki shoved past him and stomped out of the class and said, “And I even considered you my friends.”

Bakugo got up to follow, but Mic said “Bakugo sit down and let the adults handle this.” Bakugo stopped for a moment and then walked out of the class but when he walked into the hallway Ketsueki was nowhere to be found. Bakugo ran towards the rooftop and made a call. Unbeknownst to Katsuki, Ketsueki knew not to go to the roof anymore. 

The class looked at each other and then ran out as Mic called Aizawa in a hurry. 

Ketsueki flew higher as the words of his friends rang in his head and memories began to flood his head. He began to panic as he realised what he had done. The whole class knew now. Ketsueki flew higher until he heard his phone ring, and he heard Katsuki yelling somewhere below him. Ketsueki took out his phone and he answered it as he brought the phone to his ear. “Get down from there you shitty brat!” Katsuki’s voice rang through clearly and Ketsueki couldn’t help the tears that began to roll down his cheeks. His classmates were right, he needs to fix the situation. “Bakugo Katsuki, I love you. Just remember none of this is your fault, and you could have done nothing better. I won’t let you stop me. Tell Shinsou the same thing. Don’t feel guilty because I was weak. They were right you know. I’m selfish, and I really shouldn’t become a hero. I love you. It’s going to be okay.” Ketsueki’s voice cracked multiple times and before Bakugo could try to argue with him, he hung up and turned to look down. He saw his whole class beside for Shinsou and Aizawa there. He really wished they’d turn around, so they wouldn’t be traumatized.

Time seemed to slow for everyone as Ketsueki let his wings retreat into his back and he began to fall. Bakugo watched with horror as Ketsueki began to fall, and he was frozen in place. The class watching from the ground began to tear up, and it took everyone else except Mic time to realise that he wasn’t going to catch himself.

Ketsueki felt relief flood his system as he felt the wind rush past him and tears continued to fall from his eyes. He laughed like a maniac. He couldn’t believe that it would all be over soon, and he would be free for the first time ever.

Tokoyami was the first person to make a move as he used dark Shadow to fly towards Ketsueki, but Six tentacles erupted from his back and smacked the two away. The next to move was Todoroki, who tried to use his ice to catch him, but Ketsueki used his tentacles to break all of it. Ketsueki began to get even closer to the ground and suddenly his tentacles retreated into his back and something wraps around his ankle, and suddenly he’s being pulled down.

“NO!” Ketsueki yelled as he looked down to see Shinsou had his capture weapon wrapped around his leg. Shinsou caught Ketsueki in his arms and Ketsueki stood before him and he began to hit Shinsou in the chest as he sobbed and said “No, Shinsou. You weren’t supposed to do that. Aizawa wasn’t supposed to be here. You weren’t supposed to save me!” He began to sob into Shinsou’s shoulder and Shinsou wrapped his arm around his waist and the other held his head and he comfortingly said “Hey, it’s okay. We’re gonna be okay.” “It’s not okay.” Ketsueki said quietly. 

The class watched worriedly as they had never seen the boy be so vulnerable. He had never acted anything else than confident and happy. They would never have guessed that he was feeling so horrible, and they couldn’t do anything. When they tried to walk closer, Shinsou glared at them all, and they stopped walking and Bakugo ran towards the two at the centre of all the attention. 

Bakugo glared at his classmates as he came to a stop next to Shinsou and Ketsueki. He wrapped his arms around Ketsueki, and he softly said “You scared the shit out of me you shitty brat. Don’t do that again.” Ketsueki turned to hug Bakugo and he continued sobbing. “Please, make it go away. It hurts so bad. I can’t do this. I was supposed to be dead. Make it go away, please.” Ketsueki pleaded to the two and Shinsou said “Ketsueki, it’ll be okay.” “No it’s not!” Ketsueki yelled then suddenly stopped all movement and Shinsou said “Now, Fall asleep.” Ketsueki followed his orders and slumped against Katsuki, who picked him up in his arms. The two sadly looked at the sleeping boy as Aizawa approached them calmly. 

“Take him to his room for now and make sure he isn’t alone when he wakes up. We’ll arrange a meeting, and we’ll arrange a meeting with a counsellor.” Aizawa said and then turned away from the three and towards his class and said “Now, back to class. We’ll discuss this later. Until then, not a word of it. Some of you need to learn that heroes are under a lot of pressure every day. Even before they are heroes.” Aizawa then walked away and Mic ushered everyone back to class while Bakugo carried Ketsueki into his dorm and Shinsou followed.

[dollscircus]

Adenn Baar’ur - Chapter 3

(Merciless Medic)

Summary: Finding an injured Mandalorian wasn’t how you expected the night to end; surprisingly forming a strange friendship with “Big Blue” however he begins to realise that you have a connection with another mandalorian which was unknown to you.

Paring: Paz Vizsla x F!Reader. F!Reader & Din Djarin (Siblings)

Includes: Fluff, Character death and angst.

Words: 2, 419

Chapter 1

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You dream a lot- no not really. You get nightmares a lot. Mostly memories of the day you lost everything. Mother, father and your brother. Din’s screams filled your mind every night, and that night was no different. You woke up yelling while tears streamed down your face. However, your attention turned to your body. Throbbing ribs and head. A slight shuffling caused you to glance at the person standing near your bed. Blue watched you for a couple of seconds, seemingly stunned.

“Sorry-“ You muttered while wiping the tears, “Maker, that’s embarrassing.” You forced a slight chuckle as Blue approached the cot, which bowed under his weight as he sat on the edge. Reaching towards your face, Blue cupped your face with his hands. His thumb wiping away a tear, you found yourself leaning into his touch and closing your eyes. Letting out a shuddering breath mixed with a wince of pain.

“I’m going to kill that, hut'uun-“ Blue muttered under his breath, but you could barely understand it. As he spoke his hand pulled away, you found yourself missing the touch; you hadn’t realised how touch starved you were.

“Who?” You asked as you turned your attention to your body; mostly your ribs as you waited for a response you lifted the hem of your shirt just enough to see the bruising. The dark purple and blue patch seemed smaller than it should’ve, and the pain wasn’t as bad as you remembered.

“I used some of the bacta- helps with pain-“ Blue spoke, noticeably avoiding your question. You dropped your shirt back down and looked at him. Furrowing your brow.

“Who are you going to kill? What’s a hut’uun?”

“I was attacked because of him- a mandalorian. I was mistaken for him.”

You couldn’t help the laugh that came out of your lips, it sounded more like a giggle.

“I’ve heard stories of how Mando looks-“ You shocked your head in disbelief, “How do you even confuse you two?” Blue was huge- large and for kriff sake blue! You had to be a real idiot to mistake the two.

“Hell of a first date-“ You chuckled, laughing more at the absurdity of that.

“So, you class this as romantic?” He teased.

“Of course,” You responded in a coy tone of voice, “You saved my life. That’s romantic as kriff.” Your tone was joking but your words seemed to make him sad as you didn’t get a response for a few moments.

“Why do you do this?” He asked however you were unsure of what he meant so you tilted your head to the side, “What you do is dangerous. Helping people who don’t deserve it.” The tone in his voice indicated to you that the last sentence wasn’t referring to any of the people you treat but himself.

“I lost my home. My family. Everything. Bounty hunters took me in. Trust me, they weren’t good people by any means but they saved me. So, my only use was as their medic. So, when most of them were killed. I used the only skill I really knew.” You felt a strike of sadness but shook it off before reaching to Blue’s helmet and touching the cold metal, offering the kindest smile you could, “Don’t feel guilty, mandalorian. I’ve had worse.” That didn’t really help.

A sudden thud from down in the infirmary caused you to jump and suddenly pull your hand away. The distant voice of Aki rang out and much to your horror she was calling your name. You jolted forward in your cot yelping in surprise and also hoping your yelp would drown out her yells. However they didn’t, as she burst into your room her yells drowned out yours.

“Djarin!” Eh, you were glad she didn’t say your first name but this was still annoying. You growled and glared at her, as she stared at the strange sight in front of her.

“Aki-“ You started, you hadn’t even noticed Blue go completely still next to you. “What did I tell you about-“ She threw her arms over your shoulders, it seems she didn’t even notice Blue but she did notice your yelp of pain. Pulling back, she brushed the hair from your face and pet your head like you were a child. Pulling away from her, you frowned at her. It seemed she finally noticed Blue as he shifted on the cot.

“Why is there a mandalorian on your cot?” She asked quickly.

“I’ll explain later-“

Blue quickly rose from the bed muttering something about getting back, a little startled it took a second for you to respond. Muttering your own goodbye. However, before he left it seemed he had forgotten Aki’s presence as he gently cupped your face in his hands and gently touched the forehead of his helmet to yours very quietly speaking;

“Be careful Mesh’la.” Then as quickly as he appeared he left.

Aki and You watched the door for a few moments and when he was out of ear shot, Aki turned to you and gave you a look. It read “What the hell?’ Still annoyed about her leaking your name, you shook your head and dropped back to the cot tired. Saying something about getting more sleep.

You healed quickly and by the time it went dark you were working down in the infirmary with little to no pain and Aki was out on a home visit. You kept yourself busy while ignoring any pain you felt. The night was slow which you were thankful for as you sat down in a chair, letting out a tired sigh as you watched the ceiling for a few moments. Completely in your own world but the high pitched sound of your coms caused you to turn your head toward it and check the massage. You picked up the call.

“Hello? Medic here.”

“I’ve got a quarry injured. Could you come meet us at the edge of town?” You didn’t recognize the voice, his voice sounded weird. Almost distorted- more so than usual on coms.

“Near the cantina?”

“Yes.”

“Ok, could you tell me the state of the quarry?”

“Blaster wounds mostly.”

“Got it. What ship are you in and name?”

“Razor Crest.”

You noticed he didn’t include a name as you both hung up the call. Sighing, you stood up and gathered your kit before taking off. Bidding Aki farewell on the way. The Razor Crest was a beaten up ship, not in a horrible state but as you approached the ship the door on the side began to open with a creek. As it dropped to the floor someone began to walk down out the ship. You quickly recognised the person, the last time you saw him he was younger and dropping you off at Navarro. Uriel hadn’t noticed you yet, paying more attention to a small bag.

“Uriel?” You called out, it sounded kinda like a scoff mixed with a laugh, “You son of a bitch!”

He perked up and looked over to you. His bored expression quickly turned to a happy one and his arms suddenly spread open while happily exclaiming. You approached him and you both exchanged an impromptu handshake, he was an older fella and looked like he had been through hell and back- twice. Most of the time, you were the one patching him up.

“D-“ He started to say ‘Djarin’ but stopped himself, “Kid, you look good! Navarro been treatin’ nicely?” The quick jabbing pain in your rib caused you to scowl.

“You look like shit- and of course it hasn’t earned myself some fractured ribs last night.” Uriel took in a quick inhale through his teeth, you glanced up at the ship frowning slightly.

“You can’t fly for shit- so who’s with you?”

As if on cue heavy footsteps could be heard as the Mandaloiran walked down the ramp, smaller than Blue and his baskar looked a little beaten up. He was silent as he drug the bloodied quarry down to the ramp and dropped him at the bottom. The blaster wounds weren’t very bad, so some bacta patches would do the trick. As you patched the quarry, you mostly kept silent as Uriel rambled on but you were vaguely aware of eyes glued to the back of your head. Mando watched you carefully as you worked.

“Hey Mando.” You started, “How’d you get saddled with this sack of shit?” However the person who answered was Uriel.

“We were huntin’ the same person. Split the bounty 40/60.” Your lip twitched in annoyance as you responded.

“Uriel. I didn’t ask you.” You turned around to face the bounty hunters, “I asked Mando.”

“He followed me until I agreed to split the bounty with him-“ Mando said after a few moments and you could hear the irritation in his voice. You suppressed the giggle as you turned back around muttering something about that sounding like him. As you finished with the guarry you rose to your feet and looked to Uriel. Wanting to avoid Mando’s constant gaze.

“I’ll pay you with something else-“ His annoying cheerful full tone faded when he spoke, “Information.” You sighed, and shook your head.

“I can’t live off information, Uriel-“ You spoke but he raised his hand to silence you, while you too spoke Mando excused himself back into the ship with the patched up quarry in tow.

“These a bounty on you. A pretty sizable one at that-“ You tried to think who would want your head however you couldn’t remember pissing anyone off enough on Navarro to warrant something like that.

“Is it on Medic or Djarin?” You spoke, forgetting you might’ve been in earshot of the mandalorian however the sudden clutter in the ship told you he was too busy to listen in.

“Djarin.” Uriel responded, in a hushed tone. You scoffed, and shook your head side to side.

“Well, she’s dead. You guys made sure of that when you dumped me here- Only you and-“ You paused, thinking it through. It was true that Uriel and one other person asked from Aki knew your birth name. Burton knows. Burton's one crazy son of a- Insane, doesn’t care about anyone aside from himself. You were sure that man would sell out his own mother if the price was high enough.

“Burton took my bounty- Didn’t he?” Your voice trembled slightly, the fear is your expression read as panic. Uriel nodded his head, you spoke again. “Is he on Navarro?” Again Uriel nodded. You suddenly did a 180 and took off running. Uirel called after you, confused but you kept running even when Uriel shouted your first name. You guessed on accident but again ignored him and kept going. Hoping you could get home before it was too late.

Uirel watched you disappear and stood by the ramp for a few moments unaware of the quickly approaching Mandalorian until he firmly grasped him agrasped his arm and pulled him towards him. His modulated voice came through as aggressive and urgent.

“What did you just say?” A little confused, Uriel didn’t respond for a couple of second so Mando shook him while repeating the questions and adding,

“Her name. What did you just say she was?”

“Y/N.” Uriel sputtered, “Y/N Djairn.” He thought that a mandalorian was the least of your troubles right now.

The thing about Burtonis. He doesn’t like getting his hand messy, he never lets a quarry live and never leaves them in one piece. Rather plating explosives and watching them get torn to shreds. Aki was home- Maker Aki was home. Your heaving chest burned as you ran, your ribs begging you to take a break and your lungs working overtime. Each panic breath you took hurt and steps were unsteady.

Seeing the infirmary, you were about to run into it when something grabbed you from behind and held you in place. However your panicked state only caused you to throw your body about to an attempt to break free. Yelling out Aki’s name. You pressed into what felt like baskar. Fighting against whoever was holding you back, you struck your elbow out multiple times hoping to get lucky and hit soft a bit only resulting in hurting yourself. You could hear a voice trying to speak to you but you didn’t listen.

He needed to let go- or else- The place is going to blow and Aki’s still in- The shockwave of the explosion sent you both back on to the floor, dust and smoke dusting the front of your skin as you shielded your face with your face with your arms. You hadn’t even noticed the small bit’s of shrapnel had struck your arms. As the rubble settled, the grip around you faltered and let you drop from your hands and knees. The faint red mist coated the floor and you heard screaming. Your own.

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Tag list is open!

[dabiboy]

Idk if I requested this but hawks x reader where the reader and hawks both grew up in abuse and raised by the commision. ( there backstory ) and while there out on a mission hawks almost gets killed but the reader dwoop in and took the blow instead and that’s when he realises he’s been in love with her all this time idk it’s confusing ( however you want to do but the reader doesn’t die ) fluff ending please angst to fluff ;-; <333

Hi there! Well, the idea I had mixed these two requests, hope you don’t mind 😅

If anyone likes reading with music, I wrote this while listening this songs in the following order ‘Lost boy-Ruth B, When it's All Over by Raign, Call your name by Attack on Titan, Take Me Back to the Night We Met by Lord Huron and Hold on by Chord Overstreet.’ idk if it fits the timing, but yeah 😅

Always

''Shit, careful'' Hawks hissed when the cold compress made contact with his bruised cheekbone.

''If you don't stop moving is hard, you know'' You said, putting some pressure to reduce the pain.

''Fair point'' He remained silence for a while before a nostalgic smile appeared on his face ''This brings me memories'' you knew what he was talking about, and couldn't help but smile in the same way.

''Yeah, me too...''

Years before

Thunders and rain were the scenario for that cold night at the commission, but that didn't stop the training nor the classes during the day. However, the only thing you were waiting for was dinner time, the only moment of the day where you could hang out with all the different kids, but that special one. The kid with red wings, Hawks. The two of you became friends due to sad circumstances, when he had asked you where did you come from. Without even knowing him, he gave you the confidence you never felt, his eyes paying attention to you, nothing else, ready to listen and provide any help. You told him everything about you, about the abusive household, the bad treats and all that comes with it. His wings flopped, his eyebrows went up and his eyes open when he heard your story, and with some sad emotion he had claimed that he went through the same. ''We're not that different! I just have wings'' ''But your wings are really cool'' ''Do you think so?'' And from that conversation on, your dinners were not lonely anymore, nor your lunches or breakfast. Hawks was always there, to tell a joke, to support you, to tell you about his day and ask you about yours. 

That is why you felt weird when he wasn't at the dining room as every night waiting for you. The table the two of you shared was empty, and he was nowhere to be seen. You walked with your tray among the other students, asking them if they had seen Hawks, but none of them did. However, a girl walked towards you and say some words that made you whimper. ''I heard he was training really hard today'' was he ok? After thanking the girl you left the tray on a random empty table, grabbing only the chocolate bar they gave you as a trait on Friday nights. 

Walking through the installations was always confusing, too many hallways and doors that were similar, but you knew the way to his room. Hawks' room. You were being careful, though. Girls' and boys' dorms were separated, and there was no way you could get to his dorm past nine pm. But there you were, walking fast and cautiously until you get to the known door. One knock and no answer. Two and the same happened.

''Hawks? It's me, I... I didn't see you at dinner so I thought...'' 

The door opened on his own, a feather, of course. He was getting better at using them, but that had a cost, a cost you comprehend when you saw the twelve year old boy sitting with legs crossed on his bed. He was lucky he had a dorm for his own, but he didn't seem happy about it. Actually, it was the first time you saw him sad. He was the one that comforted you, the one that made you smile. But now his light was faded. You approached him slowly, sitting next to him. You could notice his raspy knees and cheekbones, forehead, arms. Everywere. He was trying hard to control his sob, holding his Endeavor plushie with one hand against his chest. You were the only one who knew about it, he didn't want other kids to bother him for liking the flame hero. 

''Hawks?'' You whispered ''What happened?'' 

''Training was hard today'' He answered simply, looking down at the mattress.

''I... Can see'' You tried to laugh at your bad joke ''Do they... Hurt?'' The bruises were too evident as to avoid them. ''They should give you something for the pain!''

''They said that it should heal soon, so... Guess I'll be fine'' He hugged his plushie a bit more.

''You need to be ok if you're gonna be a great hero!'' You said standing up, looking through the cabinets in his dorm for a faids kit, and when you found it you sat back next to him. 

''What are you doing?'' He asked, his curious bird-like expression was on his face again. 

''I will heal you. Or try to'' All of your attention was on looking the things you needed.

You used the cold gel compress to put it on his bruised cheekbone, telling him to hold it as you look for something to clean the dry blood off his arms and knees. He looked at you with a confused expression, no one took care of him like that before. Not even mentions his parents. At the commission, the other kids always praised his wings, and they wanted to be friends with him because of that reason, but you were different. There you were, trying your best at healing him, making lame jokes to make him laugh and to cheer him up, telling him he was going to be a great person. 

Once you were done, you sat comfortably again and smiled at him

''Oh, I almost forgot. I got you this!'' You took the chocolate candy out of your pocket ''It melted a bit, but I hope it cheers you up'' His eyes winded in surprise again, and then he leaned in to hug you tight. His arms caging your shoulders. You couldn't help but blush a bit, a boy was hugging you, what else could you do? 

''Thanks, really. You're my best friend'' Hawks said, his eyes still a bit glossy but now they looked a bit happier ''Do you want the half?'' He asked you, opening the candy and splitting it in two. 

The winged kid made your life at the commission a hundred times better.

Present day.

''I can't believe that you're a grown up man and I still have you patch you up'' You joked, leaving the cold compress on his desk. After years of training together, the commission decided that you worked well together, that's how you ended up in his agency, working next to him. 

''And I will never be able to thank you enough'' He said with a teasing smile. 

''Yeah yeah, whatever'' You said, getting away from the chair he was sitting ''Are you gonna go to the date with Hanao?'' Feelings were hard to comprehend, and you didn't know why you felt jealous every time he went on dates with random girls. No, you knew it. You just couldn't confess even to yourself that you were in love with that man.

''Uh, I think so. She's hot but talks too much'' He frowned his nose when he whined. 

''I talk a lot too'' You raised your eyebrows.

''Yeah, but your diffe-'' The door opening dramatically interrupted him.

''Guys! Nomus are attacking the city again, we need back up!'' The man yelled.

The two of you adopted a serious posture immediately, Hawks gave you the look that asked if you were ready, and knowing him as you did you simply nodded.

He held you in his arms so he could fly you near the scene where the chaos was happening, and when was near the floor he let you down, knowing you're fighting area was the ground. 

Hawks went flying so he could rescue some civilians with his feathers and fight nomus with the bigger wings. Things were getting messy, the creatures were destroying everything, and none of you noticed the spilled gasoline of a broken car and the fire nearby. 

You were finishing with a nomu when you saw Hawks again, and thanked internally when you saw he was alright. After a while, his wings got smaller because of the number of feathers used, but he was still trying to help a civilian that was stuck inside her car. 

Everything was happening so fast yet so slow, you could see everything that was happening in slow motion, thinking fast about what your next move should be. Help the scared kid? A cop was running to him. Fight with the white nomu? No, three heroes were fighting against it. And then you saw it.  A big one was walking straight to Hawks, but he was too busy helping the man in the car he didn't notice it. The distance was getting narrower, so you ran, ran as fast as you could towards him. 

''Hawks!'' You could scream.

But it was too late. 

Everything happened within the same second. The gasoline that was spilled made contact with the fire, creating a deafening explosion, the fire blinding everyone's sight at the same time the nomu used his outrageous arm to hit you and send you flying, body crashing against pure concrete. Hawks tried to cover him at the moment of the explosion, but your voice made him turn around and see what was happening. He saw the exact moment when the nomu got rid of you, his senses panicking when he saw you crashing against the hard concrete wall, and then to the floor. 

Another hero started fighting the nomu that attacked you, and other rescue heroes took care of the man trapped. 

Everything was in slow motion again, this time for Hawks. He couldn't fly, he wasn't fast. He ran towards your moveless body, but his steps felt heavier by each second, he was praying you were ok, he wanted to see you getting up, moving. But that didn't happen. You were there, face on the floor, passed out. 

''Y/n!'' He desperately called your name, turning you around to lay you on his lap ''come on kid, wake up!'' Hawks called, but you didn't hear his words. ''Hey, hey look at me. I need you to look at me for fuck's sake!'' Tears were forming in his eyes when he saw you were not responding. Blood was running down a corner of your mouth and your forehead, dust was all over and your eyes still closed. 

He couldn't lose you. Not you. As he called your name, all the memories attacked him. Those nights at the commission when you cured his wounds, when you shared your food, the times he got flustered when you kissed his cheek for the first time, or when he got jealous when a kid two years older asked you out. Or when you were in your twenties and he saw you with a good looking civilian and felt jealous again. The laughs you shared, the sad times. Damn, he even remembered the first conversation you had, when you told him everything about your shitty past and he had offered you his Endeavor plushie for comfort. The nights you spent together till dawn or get caught by someone at the comission. How he felt weird when he went on dates with random girls, He didn't want to be with any of them. He wanted to be with you. Just you. 

And the realization came like a storm. First the lighting in the middle of the night, everything that looked dark and confusing was clear. And then the loud sound of a thunder. It was love. Everything that he felt those years, every weird emotion. He was in love with you, and didn't get the chance to tell you. 

He was on his knees, putting pressure on your wounds as he looked the chaos around him, begging for a doctor, or a fast hero that could take you to the hospital. For the first time ever, he felt helpless. However, a voice took him out his thoughts. A light of hope. 

''Wing hero Hawks! I'm Ingenium from the UA, class 1-A. I can take them to the nearest hospital right now!'' 

He looked at the hero in a white armor, a student? He didn't have another option. He let the young hero take you in his arms. The engines on his calves lighted up and he went running. Damn he was fast, it could be a chance to save you. 

When All Might arrived at the scene, things got calmer. And he used whatever means he had to get to the hospital in which the hero had taken you. 

People looked at Hawks with curious eyes, he was looking desperate, looking for you everywhere and asking about you. He was about to lose his head when the same student arrived, this time no mask on. 

''Hi, this is Tenya Ida from class 1-A, UA student'' He introduced himself again, this time properly ''They take them to surgery and said she should be out in an hour or a bit more'' 

Hawks thanked the kid, and gave an effortless pat on his shoulder beofre moving to the waiting room. One hour pass, then two, and then three. What the hell was taking so long? He was resting his elbows on his thighs and head on his hands. No one gave him information about you, and he could feel the tears dampening his cheeks. He loved you, he had loved you all along and now you might be gone forever. He wanted to hug you, kiss you, never let you go. 

Hours seemed infinite, but then an exhausted doctor appeared in front of him. 'They're sedated' she said, explaining to him that you had lost a lot of blood, but that they were able to stop the bleeding from the different cuts, and organs. 

Hawks felt like walking the long hallways of the commission when he sneaked to your room when you were kids, nervous, wanting to see you. But now? Now he was a man, and he knew that he loved you and craved to see you. To know you were ok. He got to the door, and doubted whether to enter or not, but he took a deep breath and did it.

You were laying on the bed, a machine helping you breathe and lots of needles and cables on your arm. Keigo's chest tightened at the image of you wounded, and even worse. You were in that state for saving him, and he was hating himself because of it.

Quietly, he sat down as he held your hand. His chin was trembling he was trying too hard not to cry. Using his free hand, he caressed your cheek and pulled a strand of your hair away from your face. 

''Hey,'' he whispered ''I need you to wake up, ok? I... Need you here, with me. I'm nothing if I don't have you here'' His voice was broken, and he didn't even notice when the tears were running down his eyes again ''I swear I'll stop stealing your lunch, and I won't whistle or chirp on mornings because I know you get stressed'' Keigo let out a sad laugh ''There's so much I need to tell you, so please.'' He caressed your head again ''I won't go on dates with random girls anymore because I... Just want to be with you'' A sob left his lips, and he rested his forearms and head on the bed next to you ''I can even shave my so-called beard if you want to, but please... Wake up. Come back to me. Please, don't leave me'' His whisper was drowned in tears, Keigo kept sobbing by your side as the memories kept replaying on his head ''I love you, I fucking love you'' He finally let his feelings out among hurtful tears. He wanted nothing more than you to be ok. 

Suddenly, his heart stopped. He felt the weight of a hand on his head, playing with his hair. He got up slowly, looking at you with red puffy eyes, but full of hope. 

''y/n?'' He asked, heart beating fast.

''I like when you whistle in the morning'' You said slowly opening your eyes ''your stubble is cute''  a weak smile was on your lips, and he couldn't believe that your first words after almost dying were about him ''And I always pack up double lunch because I know you eat mine. That's why I get fried chicken every day'' At that day, he couldn't control the amount of tears escaping his eyes. 

''I...'' A sob ''y/n I-'' you interrupted him with your weak raspy voice.

''I know, I heard you'' You nodded, feeling your eyes getting watery too ''I love you too, Kei'' You caressed his cheek. ''I've been in love with you since I was like... Fifteen'' you rolled your eyes and laughed weakly, making him laugh in the same way too.

''Sorry I didn't notice sooner'' He brushed your hair with his hand, and then whipped some tears, but the kee falling '' Don't you dare scare me like that again'' He chuckled lowly.

''Sorry'' You said ''Can I get a kiss for saving your ass once again?'' He couldn't help but laugh again, loving to see you with a good mood. 

He leaned forward, his lips on yours were delicate, soft, and tender. Just his lips against yours, a bit salty because of the tears but none of you cared. You whined a bit because of the lack of air and the pain caused because the cut on your lower lip. 

''Shit, sorry'' He pulled away, and then got closer again to kiss your forehead for long seconds as his hand was still on top of your head holding your hair. ''I love you, so damn much'' 

He sat on the chair next to the bed again, resting his head on his forearms one more time. You used the little amount of strength you had to play with his hair, scratching his scalp with soft fingers. 

''I love you too, bird boy'' Tiredness was taking over you again ''This time you will have to patch me up'' You joked

''Always. I'll always will'' He sobbed one more time, closing his eyes. Loving your hand on his hair, and your voice. God, he could never be tired of listening to you. ''Try to get some sleep, ok?'' He said moving his head up again. 

''Will you be here when I wake up?'' You asked. The same question you did when as kids, when Hawks lent you his bed so you could sleep there as he took care of your sleep from the other bed, not wanting you to get any nightmares. 

''Yes, I'm not leaving you. I will be here'' He smiled at you, and after leaving another kiss on your forehead he rested his head on his forearms on the tiny empty space on the bed by your side.

He was not letting the love of his life alone. Not that night, or never.  

[supercxrpschild]

hearts to heal

hi, please read this prior to reading the piece !

so, i wrote this over the last few days. I was not in a good place, and I needed to write something cathartic. I wrote this because I feel so utterly alone and to have not one, but 4 people care so deeply about you, to hold you, to comfort you, take care of you - I crave it more than anything. 

there is a trigger warning for self-harm. it is not romanticed, this isn’t a story of giving up. it’s a story of family and hope - but please do be aware that there is scenes depicting it. there is also mentions of OCD, anxiety and depression. 

please be kind about this work, as i wasn’t sure whether or not to share it. 

Word Count: 2146 (i think my longest yet? it kinda got away from me...)

Alex frowned at the text she just received. It was from your school alerting her that you had not turned up to your first class.

“Something the matter, Director?” Brainy queries, leaning across the desk.

Alex looks up, “hm?”

“Your face has contorted into a displeased expression.”

“Oh, sorry Brainy. It’s all good, it’s just y/n. She didn’t turn up at school.”

Brainy furrows his brows, “That would make it day number 4, wouldn’t it, Director Danvers?”

Alex thought for a minute - he was right. She had been so wrapped up in work that she couldn’t keep track of days. She didn’t realise this was the fourth day within a week that she had been alerted by the High School of your non-attendance. What else hadn’t she noticed?

“Dammit. Brainy, I’ve gotta go. Do you think you could cover for me today? I know we have a lot of stuff going on but-”

“I will be happy to assume your duties for today, Director.” Alex smiles gratefully as she moves to go grab her stuff and head home,

“Thank you Brainy, I owe you.”

Alex rushed to her car, bumping into Kara on the way.

“Alex? Where are you going?”

“Shit, I’m sorry Kara, I forgot about our lunch today.” Kara shook her head and held her sister’s wrist, “Don’t worry about that, what’s up?”

“It’s y/n, she hasn’t been going to school and I just, I’ve been so busy here and we’ve barely even caught each other. I’m going home to check on her, I’m just so worried Kara, what if something’s really wrong and I just never noticed?” Kara moved her hand, so it was now holding Alex’s, trying to ground her some.

“Hey, whatever’s going on, it’ll be okay. You had a lot on this week, with the President visiting and then those alien’s taking hostages downtown. Y/n and you have an understanding for when work becomes like this. It’ll be okay.” Alex nods, rubbing her free hand across her face. “Now go get home to your girl, okay? And call me if you need anything. I’m with Lena tonight, but we can both come if need be.”

Alex thanked her sister again and then drove home, her heart beating out of her chest as she climbed the stairs to both of your apartment.

“Y/n?! Y/n, honey I got a text from the school – they said you weren’t there.” Alex called out as she dropped her bags.

“Y/n?” Alex looked around, everything was off and untouched.

As she walked around the apartment, she ran her hand through her hair, messing it from the slicked back style she had put it in a few hours before.

She walked into your room, breathing a sigh of relief when she saw your curled up in bed asleep. She debated for a moment on whether to wake you up or not, eventually going over and sitting by you, rubbing your arm softly.

“Mom?” you mumbled sleepily,

“Yeah honey.” You blinked the sleep out of your eyes,

“What are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same thing.” Alex said, her hand now moving the brush the hair from your face.

You shifted uncomfortably. It had been a good week of being able to hide everything from your mom, but it was never going to last forever.

“Y/n?, you wanna tell me why you haven’t been going to school?” You shook your head and tried to snuggle back down into your covers.

Alex moved so you were facing her again after turning away,

“Y/n, I’m so sorry I haven’t been here. But I’m here now and I need you to tell me what’s going on.” Your mom’s gentle hand threaded through your hair, though she chose not to comment on the state of it.

“I’m fine mom.” Alex used her free hand to move your face towards her. Your eyes were sunken in, dark circles under them. Your face was red and splotchy, and you looked exhausted.

“Baby, I can tell right now that you are not fine, so out with it.”

Tears began welling up in your eyes. You couldn’t break now, not after hiding things for months and months. What would she do when she finds out? Probably send you away, probably hate you.

You pushed the tears away, swiping at them furiously. “I don’t wanna talk about it.”

“I know you don’t want to, y/n.”

“Then why won’t you leave me alone?!” Alex sat shocked; you had never raised your voice at her.

“Y/n- ”

“No! I don’t want help; I don’t need help. I am FINE.” You huffed and turned away.

Alex decided to give you a moment. A moment so she could think about what to do next. She didn’t want to force you to open up to her, because then it would lack genuineness and could damage the trust between you both. But she was so damn worried about you.

Within that minute that Alex had left you alone for, you managed to get past her and lock yourself in the bathroom – Alex only becoming aware when she heard the door shut.

“Dammit y/n.” She whispered to herself before knocking on the door.

“What mom!? Am I not allowed to pee alone anymore?!” You and her both knew that wasn’t what you were doing; and knowing your mom – a badass DEO agent – you had very limited time before the door was busted open.

You felt below the sink, pulling the blade from where you’d hidden it. Wasting no time, you slashed at your thighs, the relief immediate.

Right on time, Alex forced the door open.

“Oh baby.” You looked up at her, begging her not to get any closer. “Let’s put that down, alright y/n? Then we can get you cleaned up and talk.” You shook your head, feeling yourself become unwound.

“No, please. I just, I just need to do it two more times. It doesn’t work if its only once, please mom please.” Alex cringed slightly, how didn’t she notice that you had been on a downward spiral? That your OCD was coming back full force? That your eating habits changed, that your anxiety and depression were spiking again – how didn’t she realise?

“Y/n, please put it down.” You scooted across the floor, putting as much distance between you both as you could.

“I need it mom, please.” Tears rolled down your cheeks with no sign of stopping. Alex was doing the most to keep hers at bay. She couldn’t do this.

You look down at your thigh, blood dripping. You didn’t notice your mom flipping open her watch and pressing the button that had your aunt rushing through the door within the minute.

“Kara, please, I can’t – I don’t wanna hurt her. I don’t know how to stop her.” Kara took over, seeing her sister’s frantic state and pulled you into her lap, shushing you softly. You were no match for her kryptonian strength as she threw the blade towards your mom, who then flushed it.

You wailed and wailed, trying desperately to get out of Kara’s grip. She never wavered, just calmly whispering to you. Eventually, Alex pulled herself together and sat down on the bathroom floor with you both, noticing you beginning to stop fighting.

“My sweet, sweet girl.” She whispered, holding your face in her hands, kissing away the tears of anguish and suffering.

“Mommy.” You reached out from your Auntie Kara’s grip, latching onto Alex. “’m sorry mommy, ‘m sorry.”

“Shhh, shhh honey. It’s all okay. I’ve got you.” Alex paid no attention to the blood that was getting over her clothes. All she cared about was holding you tight.

Kara sat quietly, watching her niece and her sister who were both clearly in pain and scared. Alex usually always had control of situations, so when Kara came in to see her frozen and desperate it scared her.

“Hey, I think we should have a look at your leg, y/n.” Kara said softly, not wanting to break up the mother-daughter moment; but being the only one who got a good look at your thigh, she knew the depth of the wounds.

Alex tried to ease you off her, coaxing you until you eventually let go. She didn’t realise the damage you’d done. Not only the new, deep cuts; but the hundreds of scars covering your skin. She felt like she’d failed.

“Baby, I think you need stitches for a couple of these.” Alex said, tucking your hair behind your ear.

“I’m not getting stitches. It’s fine, Mom.” Kara interjected,

“They’re pretty bad sweetheart.”

You shook your head. “I’m not going to a hospital. You can’t make me.”

Kara looked at Alex, trying to see if they were on the same page.

“We could call Lena, then her and I can do it.” Your mom says, nodding to Kara who pulls out her phone.

Kara lifted you onto the bathroom counter. There were some perks to having two people trained in some sort of medicine in your chosen family, you guessed. They could perform small things like this. But sometimes, like today, it just didn’t make things any easier. Your Aunt Kara tried to talk to you, keeping your eyes on her as her sister and girlfriend cleaned your wounds and stitched them up. You had tears of pain dripping down your face, but your bared it. Just.

“We’re done, y/n. You did so well darling.” You blushed slightly at Lena’s praise. Reaching for your mom, she had no hesitation in pulling you into her arms, albeit struggling a little.

There was a knock at the door, and given you wouldn’t let your mom go, Kara went and answered it.

It was Kelly, who had brought over homemade soup, bread and some ice-cream.

With you still attached to her hip, Alex kissed her girlfriend and whispered a small thank-you. Kelly smiled knowingly and rubbed your shoulder.

The four older women would do anything to make sure the youngest of their family was okay, and seeing you so obviously not, was painful.

“Should we eat something bub?” Alex asked gently, you shook your head. “Kelly brought your favourites.” You shook your head again,

“Don’t wanna eat.” Alex sighed. You’d truly slipped so far backwards.

She tried to put you down on the couch, eventually compromising so you were sitting on her lap. It was a long hour of persuading and encouragement from all four women, but you ended up eating something.

Kara tried to lighten the mood, talking about anything and everything to keep your mind off the food. It worked for the most part, but you just couldn’t stop thinking about how utterly fat you were. You shouldn’t need to eat.

It felt like you were just a lifeless sack, being passed from one person to another; your brain having difficulty processing what was going on until it was happening. Your mom placed you into a full tub, scrubbing your dirty hair and body. There was faint commotion somewhere else in the apartment, but you couldn’t focus long enough to figure out what it was.

Kara and Lena worked on changing your bed, giving you fresh sheets and blankets. Kelly called a couple contacts she had that were good at working with adolescents. It would be hard to bring up the fact that you have to go back to therapy; you weren’t too fond of it. But Kelly was happy to help make it as comfortable as it can be, even looking for someone who was in the same building as her so she could be there if need be.

Lena offered to braid your hair while your mom, aunt Kara and Kelly talked outside. You welcomed the attention and began to drop off as nimble fingers threaded through your freshly washed hair, despite it only being the afternoon.

“You can go to sleep darling, it’s okay.” Lena said gently as she finished the second braid. You surprised her by turning into her and nuzzling her neck; desperate for the comfort wherever you could find it after isolating yourself for so long.

Alex walked in, telling Lena that both Kara and Kelly had to go back to work, at least for an hour or two.

“I’m happy to stay if you both need someone here?” Lena replies, smoothing your hair as you get nearer to sleep.

“Thank you, Lena. But we’ll be alright; plus, I’m pretty sure the other two are coming back tonight, if you want to come too. They’re worried about her.” Lena nods,

“I am too.” Alex realises how much you mean to all four of them. This little girl, who was maybe not so little, had such a huge part of their hearts – hearts that now ached alongside yours. Though, hopefully, they would be hearts to help heal yours, too.

[peralta-guaranteed]

i randomly remembered when enzo broke his arm around a year ago, i know it sounds mean but could you possibly do one of mac/maya doing the same (nothing major to cause it)

"It's okay." Amy hears herself repeat the phrase for probably the hundredth time now. "It's okay." It's probably supposed to calm them all down, all three adults and one little crying, screaming boy in the car, but it's barely working.

"It's not!" Jake hisses into her direction, the fear and panic and worry in his eyes more than obvious as he clutches Mac's head against his shoulder some more, tightens the grip around his back.

"It's gonna be, though." Rosa says from the driver's seat in front - she was clearly the calmest of all of them after what happened, so she'd grabbed Amy's purse, pulled their car keys out of it, and then pushed all three of them into the backseat before starting the car. And now she was making her way to the emergency wing of the hospital at about 15mp/h higher than allowed in the inner city. "The arm's broken, but not in a bad way. It's gonna heal."

"How can a bone break in a good way?" Asks the man who once stated that as long as his blood was still inside him, things were obviously good. Mac starts wailing a little louder in his arms.

"You're stressing him out." Rosa states, matter-of-fact, before slowing down just a little before a right turn so the kid in Jake's arms doesn't get jostled too much.

"It hurt." Mac sniffles and looks over at Amy with the reddest, most tear-filled eyes she's ever seen, and it takes a lot not to cry with him.

"It's gonna be okay, peanut. The doctors like uncle Jorge are going to fix it." She tries to calm him, and maybe Jake a little bit, who nods and scratches through Mac's hair like he does when he's trying to lull him into sleep.

-*-

They make it to the emergency room in record time, frankly, and if Rosa's rushed past some traffic lights and speed radars, Amy's not going to complain once the tickets come in the mail.

A bored-looking nurse informs them that there’s only enough space for one parent in the room during the x-ray and the cast and treatment, and Jake wants to debate for the first time in his life, because that’s obviously bullshit, but Amy puts a hand on his arm and then lifts Mac out of them.

“Sit with Rosa”, she says in that voice she’s started using after Mac, that mom-voice that’s always right, “Calm down, and we’ll be back before you know it. And it’s all going to be fine.”

She’s off with the crying toddler and nurse before Jake can really protest, and Rosa is already sitting in a corner of the waiting area, so he drops down next to her instead and buries his head in his hands.

“Dude, you’re blowing this out of proportion. Kids hurt themselves all the time. He’s gonna bounce back like always.”

“I broke his arm, Rosa.”

There’s a beat of silence between them as the weight of that statement settles. Rosa gives up her nonchalant pose to lean forward as well, trying to get into Jake’s field of vision, but it’s kinda hard when he’s staring down onto the floor.

“You did not.” She hisses. “Jake, you didn’t. He fell. He was climbing. It happens.”

“I helped him up on that tower, he’s too little for it-”

“It’s on the playground, he was gonna go for it eventually-”

“I was right next to him-”

“So were Amy and I-”

“You were talking-”

“So at least you were paying better attention-”

“I coulda grabbed him, I shoulda-”

“You did what you could, immediately and without question. It’s not your fault the kid drops faster than a cannonball.” Rosa ends their little squabble, and the old lady across them lets out a little harrumph, but Rosa shoots her the deadliest glare she can muster, which means a lot. “You were over there in a flash, Jake, I’ve never seen you move so fast.”

“Wasn’t fast enough. Wasn’t good enough.” He mumbles into his hands, rubbing across his face and his hair that’s already a mess. Rosa watches him for a moment, and calculates. Pieces together the evidence, like she does as a detective, and comes to a solution that most people probably won’t like, but those usually get her results.

“Do you want to leave?” She asks, and he looks at her like she’s grown a second head. “Amy’s got it under control, she told you. It’s probably gonna take a while, anyway, we can dip out for a drink to calm down and come back and they’ll be none the wiser.”

“Are you insane?!” Jake hisses back now, giving her exactly the reaction she’d expected. “I’m not going to leave my son in the hospital to go to a bar-”

He stops and stares at her, and it seems like his own detective brain is finally catching up with his panicked dad brain, because he sees what she’s doing. So she nods.

“You’re still good. You’re still better.” She says, and they don’t need to mention who he’s better than. It was the first of his stories that he told her, after he hurt something in his wrist at the academy - how that wrist never really healed right anyway, not since he was 5 and Bobby Linder drove over it with his tricycle by accident and his mom had to rush him to the hospital and his dad asked ‘what is that?’ with beer on his breath when he showed him the cast later. They’d known each other for barely a month back then, and Rosa was still refusing to think of anyone as her friend, but the way he’d looked at his wrist in its bandage and smiled the most broken smile she’d ever seen had set something off in her head. Something that yelled Protect at her every time he mentioned his dad later, something that made her threaten Roger Peralta with one of her knives after their graduation when Jake was in the bathroom ‘real quick’, but she knew he was hiding in there so no one could see his hands shake. Good thing Rosa never gave a damn about going into the men’s toilets anyway, because she sure as hell went after him when Roger had dipped out as usual.

She watches Jake’s tense shoulders drop with another sigh.

“Being better doesn’t make me good. That bar is set so fucking low.”

“I’m not having this entire discussion with you again, Peralta. We’ve been through this way too many times anyway. You. are. a. good. dad. One accident doesn’t change that.”

“Okay.” He nods, and she can tell he’s trying to imprint her words into his brain, so she continues.

“Mac’s going to hurt himself, and others are going to hurt him, and things are gonna go bad sometimes. You’ll probably be back here in the hospital a few times, considering how much he seems to love danger. And it’s going to be okay, just like Amy said, because you’re going to be there, and you’ll help him through it, and take care of him while he heals.”

“Yeah.” He nods again, and Rosa leans closer to him some more, and finally gets into his field of vision.

“And you’re not going to even think, for one second, that you could be anywhere as bad of a father as that piece of shit. And you’re not going to believe, whatever anyone says, that Mac doesn’t know how lucky he is to have you as a dad.”

He nods a third time, and she remembers how he jokingly told her once, after a few drinks, that the little screaming voice of conscience in his head always alternates between either Amy’s voice or her voice. She hopes she’s given him some new tracks to replay if he needs to.

“Thank you, Rosa.” He says, and leans back in the most uncomfortable chair either of them have sat in, and they’ve both been to prison. He tilts over when she leans back too, lands his head on her shoulder, and she doesn’t shrug him off for once. She can have a soft spot for the Santiago-Peraltas when no one else is there to see, she supposes.

“You looked like you wanted to punch out that nurse.” She says with a quick grin, and hears him snort.

“Was thinking about it. Not enough space for two parents, what kind of bullshit is that?!”

“You couldn’t throw a proper punch anyway.”

“Hey, I know how to hit people. I trained to do it just as much as you.”

They share a giggle as the exhaustion and stress of the last hour flows out of them, and the old lady across them seems mildly shocked rather than annoyed by now, but who cares.

-*-

Amy comes back with Mac in her arms an hour later, and they’re both all smiles. Mac sports an impressive new sticker collection on his shirt, and a lollipop that’s painting his lips orange. (Amy’s have a slight tint to them as well.)

The cast on his arm is bright green, and he carefully lifts it to show Jake as he switches from his Mama’s arms into his. (Jake had jumped up from his chair so fast he almost threw Rosa, who was also getting up, to the ground.)

“Like ninja!” he says around the lollipop, and Amy wipes a bit of spit away before it can drop on Jake’s shirt.

“Yeah, just like the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, buddy.” Jake nods because of course he understands his kid’s train of thought better than anyone else, and kisses Mac’s temple, stays there a second longer for that perfect toddler scent, even as it’s mixed with hospital disinfectant and playground mud.

“Look, RoRo!” Mac yells into his ear and leans over to show Rosa as well. “Turtle shell!”

“That’s pretty cool, dude.” Aunt RoRo answers as she inspects the cast to see if it’s well done or if she has to go back there and punch out a nurse herself. “Let’s get you three home.” She says after concluding that the cast is acceptable enough to let the poor hospital workers alone.

-*-

She was planning to drop them off, park their car and then head for the precinct where her bike is waiting for her, but Amy invited her up for some coffee for ‘her nerves’, and Jake offered dinner as a thanks, and Mac absolutely needed to show her the new toy he got in that package from abuela, and then suddenly she’s on a playmat on the floor for an hour after Chinese takeout and pretending to be a Ninja Tortoise or whatever. That soft spot is gonna be more trouble than it’s worth, she thinks for a second before Mac smiles at her as his Jedi figure shoots lasers at her turtle doll, and immediately realises it’s worth so much more than any trouble. Mac looks at his cast a little worried, whenever he thinks no one is watching him, and god, could he be any more like his dad? At least she and Amy already have a good instructions booklet on how to handle him, in that case.

“That green cast is pretty cool.” She says when she catches him look once more. “But you know what would make it even cooler? Drawings.”

“Drawies? On my arm?”

“Yeah, buddy. We can draw on it with a sharpie.”

He’s up and running to Amy, asking for a sharpie, in no time at all and yep, he is just as easily distracted as his dad. Mac grins wide and unworried now as he climbs on Jake’s lap on the couch, asks Amy to draw something when she returns with a set of markers, calls Rosa over to draw something too.

Amy does a little bear, his favourite animal at the moment. Rosa does a rocket ship and a pirate ship, the two best ships in the world, as they both agree. Jake does a Ninja Turtle cartoon face yelling PIZZA!, which is obviously Mac’s absolute favourite the moment it’s done.

When Jake wants to cap the Sharpie after his work of art, Mac grabs his hand and pulls it back down. “Steady, peanut. Don’t wanna scribble over Aunt RoRo’s cool ship, right?” He says with a grin over to her as she rolls her eyes. Mac’s already tried to cover several walls, most of his storytime books, and the kitchen table with his drawings as soon as he’s handed any sort of writing tool, so Jake won’t let go of the marker just to be safe, but he does let Mac’s little hand guide his big one as he makes him draw a wonky heart, right on the cast over the back of his hand, and then places a kiss on the same place on Jake’s hand.

You’re not going to believe, whatever anyone says, that Mac doesn’t know how lucky he is to have you as a dad the little Rosa voice in Jake’s head repeats as he smiles at her, and she actually smiles back.

[anyoneseenadam]

Home: Chapter Seven

azriel x reader (acotar)

summary: (y/n) is a daughter of Persephone, still recovering from the trauma of her fall into Tartarus and doesn’t have time for a stupid, handsome, annoying, stunning, injured man. But now they’re stuck together in the middle of nowhere and there only chance of getting home is if she can heal him, and fast.

warnings: big spoilers for mark of Athena and house of Hades, also for the acotar series, eventual smut, blood, PTSD, graphic descriptions of violence, injuries and torture, enemies to lovers so az is a bit of a dick to start, swearing, 

word count: 3.9k

a/n: I’m entirely writing this to distract myself from the real world but honesty I’m having a great time, I think there will be one more chapter after this one and maybe an epilogue but asides from that, also feel free to message or ask if you want to be tagged :)) anyway enjoy and pls comment and shiz :)

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Azriel had once joked that you were like an actual flower, needing water and sunlight to use your powers. At the time you had laughed but now as you stood in front of the mirror, wiping the tears from under your eyes, and preparing to walk into the world of all things dead, you understood. The dress you wore was one of the few fancy ones you reserved for the dinners you were often dragged to before your fall. It was lavender, with tulle cascading down your legs from the waist, paired with a tight corset top and tulle off-the-shoulder sleeves. As you sat with a ‘humph’ and started applying your makeup, your stepbrother walked in.

“Well you look cheery,” Nico said, sitting on your bed.

“I look like an evil power puff girl,”

“You look like you are a princess, which you are so my dad is going to be pleased.”

“I really don’t care what he thinks,” you snapped, and Nico help up his hands. He was wearing all black as usual, simple dress pants and a loose black shirt tucked in, his belt matched his rings, and his dark hair and even darker eye bags made him look every bit the Underworld prince. “Sorry, I’m not mad at you,” you said turning back around to carry on with your makeup.

“I know, it’s stressful for you,” he moved to sit next to you, resting his head on your shoulder and you applied eyeliner.

“I don’t wanna get sick again, I have things to do. Plus I’ve got to convince your dad to let me ask for this favour. I just feel like it’s all going to go to shit.”

“I get it, you’ll be fine though. Also I’m pretty sure your mum is going to do anything for you if it means you’ll speak to her again, so she’ll be on your side at least. That’s three vs one.” He nudged you as you put down the eyeliner.

“That’s true.” You bit the inside of your lip and Nico, sensing your worry, changed topic.

“Tell me about Azriel,” He said, and you caught his eye in the mirror.

“Huh?”

“Well I gotta make sure that when you become his problem it will be permanent, I don’t want you coming back,” he joked.

“Fuck you,” you laughed shoving his shoulder and he giggled, rolling onto his back.

“I don’t want to do thisssss,” Nico said in a sing-song voice lying flat on the floor.

“Me neither but I’m not going in alone bitch,” you laughed, starting to feel slightly better. It was moments like this that made you regret pushing your friends away, the thought of seeing them was always scary but when you were with your brother again you remembered why you loved them so much. You assessed your outfit in the mirror and sighed.

“What?” Nico asked, sitting back up.

“This would look really nice with a dark red lip,” you said, biting your lip.

“Do you have one?” he asked, and you nodded. He was quiet for a second before reaching out and ruffling through your makeup, finding your favourite red lipstick. “Do you wanna try?”

“Yeah, but if I cry it’ll mess up my eyeliner.” You said with a shaky laugh. He laughed quietly handing you the lipstick and you looked at him in the mirror, taking in a shuddering breath. You were stronger than this and you could handle it. You closed your eyes for a minute, counting your breaths, before opening the lipstick.

Once it was applied you lifted your chin, staring down the girl in the mirror. Nico grabbed your hand softly and you tore your eyes away, standing and pulling on your shoes.

“Are you ready?”

“As I’ll ever be.”

--

Azriel was in a shit mood. He was 90% sure that you had cast some sort of spell on him when he was with you, something that made him happy and relaxed, because now that you weren’t here he pretty much wanted to throttle everyone.

Amren had been helping him look for a way to get back to you. The first thing they had tried was winnowing, he pictured your face; your smile, the way your hands felt in his, but no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t reach you. So they had been scanning books since then, reading up on every theory and myth. Nesta had brought him to speak to Gwyn who had told him about the theory that there could be up to at least 20 other worlds. Amren had also made him talk through every detail about this world he could remember, writing diligent notes as Cassian gave him weird looks when he spoke about Bucky Barnes.

“He’s a character, it’s a simple concept.”

“Yeah but how do you get an emotional connection to a character?”

“Shut up both of you.”

The pain in his chest was only growing as well, and he came to the daunting realisation that if he failed this; if he couldn’t get back to you, or get you back to him, he would probably have to deal with it for the rest of his long, long life.

He felt bad for taking his frustrations out on his family who were just worried about him, but he had never felt this way before. All he could think of was the way your eyes cleared when the realisation dawned on you. The way you had gone from sobs to a different, all-consuming kind of pain, just for a second, your eyes clearing as you realised you might never see him again. He hated himself for not being strong enough to put up a fight, he knew he wasn’t a match for a god, but he should’ve tried, he was too shocked at the time, too heartbroken, but now he was terrified that you might think he gave up on you. He had to get back to you, he was afraid what you might do if you were alone again. If you were alone after having the bond dangled in front of you, only to have it ripped away moments later.

It was almost 3am and everyone else in the house had gone to bed, but Azriel didn’t sleep well normally, and he especially wouldn’t while he was apart from you. He looked up from his book when he heard someone clear their throat, his head whipped up an incredulous smile gracing his features when he saw you sitting there.

“Baby,” he started moving forward but you held your hand up, stopping him.

“Oh that’s just too sweet, you kids are giving me so much content,” you dabbed at your eyes, and Azriel frowned.

“(y/n)? what’s going on?”

“Oh I’m not (y/n) sweetie, but that’s just adorable. My name is Aphrodite, Goddess of love and beauty, I often appear as whoever you find most beautiful.” Azriel’s heart dropped, the brief happiness he felt seeing your face gone as the lady spoke.

“Aphrodite? Hermes mentioned you.” He said, tensing as he realised he was dealing with another god. “In fact he said it was your fault this all happened.”

“Oh Hermes, always blaming someone else. You should be thanking me.”

“And why would I do that.” Azriel knew the look on his face was deadly, but something about seeing a god cower under his gaze was feeding his ego.

“Haven’t you worked out why you can’t travel back to her.” She raised her eyebrows at him, her expressions may be on your face, but as he paid more attention she seemed like a completely different person. “I have the power to move through world’s, you do not. I just thought that poor, sweet girl had been through enough that she should get to meet her soulmate. I waited for you after your mission and then just made you forget and let the two of you fall in love naturally, I mean I get teary eyed thinking about it, you’re just too cute!”

Azriel’s shoulders relaxed slightly, “So why are you here? Are you going to bring her to me?”

“Hmm I could, but I’d get in so much trouble, plus she’s very smart and I want to see if her plan works. You people are so very entertaining.” Her face rippled for a second as she turned, and she briefly looked like Mor, then Elain, then back to you. “But you, poor boy,” He chose to ignore the condescending tone, “You were dealt a very bad hand love wise, so maybe if she doesn’t succeed I could pull a few strings, but I do have a holiday planned so it may be a few decades.”

Her laugh made him feel sick and he glared at her, “What did you say about her plan?”

“Oh yes! She’s going down to the underworld to try find a solution,” Aphrodite was moving around the room gracefully as Azriel sat back down, the weight of Aphrodite’s easy words hitting him. She picked up one of the books laying on the desk and made an unimpressed noise, throwing it back down carelessly.

“That’s where the dead go right?” he asked, silently praying he was wrong,

“Yup! Don’t worry though, her mother lives there too,” she said ‘mother’ with a slight snarl, but Azriel ignored her. “You know I get why she likes you, you’re very pretty aren’t you?” She walked over to him, swaying your hips and he had to remind himself it wasn’t you as she sat down in his lap, forcing his hands to stay clenched at his side. She ran your hand along his jaw, tilting her head with a smile as she stroked his face. Her thumb rested on his bottom lip as he glared at her with murderous rage, trying to reel it in as he remembered she was possibly the only one that could help him.

“Well I guess I better go,” She sighed dramatically then pressed a perfectly polished gold coin into his hand, “Flip this if you need me, emergencies and sex only.” She winked at him, before kissing his cheek and standing, waving seductively before vanishing. Azriel sat for a few minutes, reeling from the interaction he just had. Is this the world I’ve entered now? Gods who can do whatever they want? He wondered if that’s why you avoided talking about the Gods, if maybe growing up with this had made you bitter to them. He wanted to ask you and talk to you about it, or anything for that matter but instead he just pocketed the coin and stood, winnowing to his room, and collapsing on his bed.

--

“Sweetie, you look beautiful,” Your mother cried out as you and Nico arrived, you were leaning heavily on his arm, while surrounded by death, the coldness of a lifeless place seeped into your bones and weakened you, you had learnt as much the first time you visited. You gave your mother a tight-lipped smile and hugged her awkwardly.

“Oh I missed you so much dear,” she stroked your hair, and you fought the urge to roll your eyes.

“You could’ve visited.” It was hard to keep the bitterness out of your voice, after all you had gone through and she hadn’t visited once. A look of shock passed over her face but before she could reply Hades thundered in, his usual outfit, ‘the robes of death and despair’ as you fondly called them, were replaced by a dark suit, his hair slicked back from his face. He came to Persephone’s side and rested a hand around her waist pulling her in slightly, and despite yourself you felt a little jealous of their closeness as your mother looked up at him with doe eyes.

“Nico, my son, how are you?” Hades deep voice silenced the room, the very air seeming to stand still, and Nico flushed red as he was put on the spot. The four of you exchanged pleasantries as you made your way to the ridiculously long table, Hades sat at the head on one side, Persephone on the other, with Nico and you facing each other in the centre. The wood was dark, but the table was covered in all sorts of colourful food and you all helped yourselves while making small talk, only managing to hear your parents due to the eery silence of the room, dead guards not needing to make any noise.

After the first few courses and once you had consumed enough white wine to gain some courage you turned to face your mother.

“Mum, I think I need a favour if that’s okay?” you asked with great caution, extremely aware of the powerful forces surrounding you.

“Well that depends dear. What is it?”

“After the battle and the… fall, I never got my reward remember, I instead asked to be able to come get it when I needed it.”

“Yes of course, I thought that was very smart!” your mother spoke cheerfully but you could feel Hades’ gaze on your back, burning through your skin and bones to the very essence of your soul. “Let me guess, you need it now?”

“If that’s okay, some things have changed recently and I now know what I need,” you smiled at her, “I met a man, well actually he’s a faerie. Aphrodite wanted us to meet because we’re soulmates and after my fall she thought I deserved to see him, but since he’s from another world he had to go back, and we can’t be together.” You wiped away a few stray tears you forced out; this was your game. Your mother didn’t visit you often so she had never seen this side of you, the side that could manipulate even a god into giving you what you wanted. “So I thought, maybe for my reward I could become Fae and be permitted to live with Azriel in his world, and maybe come and visit my friends occasionally?”

“Oh that sounds lovely dear! That’s so alike me, I had to beg my mother and even then she didn’t let me stay here,” your mother rattled on and you smiled at her, but your shoulders were still tense as you knew you hadn’t won yet. You turned to where Hades sat, rubbing his temples.

“I get it. I do. But I really don’t think my brother would allow that, it’s too much.”

“Too much?” you asked, a bitter laugh escaping.

“I understand you went through a lot,”

“Do you?” you couldn’t stop the biting words, “Because the last I checked you both sat and did nothing while I was tortured down there. You could’ve done something, but you didn’t, you made a choice not to, and now I ask for ONE thing, and it’s too much?” Hades’ glare was murderous, but you weren’t going to back down.

“I mean if you really think about it, I’ll be out of your hair if you agree. One less demi-god always seems to be a win for you guys.” Nico said your name in warning, but you slowly stood. “I am not asking for much, I am asking to be allowed to live a life with the man I love and after all I have been through, fighting YOUR battles, I think it’s the least I deserve.”

You held Hades’ gaze for a few more seconds until he spoke. “Are you sure your not a child of Nyx?” he asked, and you grinned, cocking your head to the side.

“Why would that be?”

“You have a pure evil streak in you girl and uncharted power. You better learn to control it, before someone catches on.”

“We won’t have a problem I’m presuming?”

“I’ll see what I can do,” he said gruffly, going back to his meal and you relaxed, moving to hug your mother goodbye, whispering thanks to her, before linking arms with Nico and leaving.

--

The next day you awoke to a golden invitation to Olympus, and you smiled, soon. You’d be with him soon.

--

Olympus looked much nicer since Annabeth had gotten involved. You may have been biased but it seemed to hold a sense of home it never had before, the clinical cleanliness now feeling purer and more loving. The throne room however had remained much the same.

You stood alone in the middle surrounded by the arc of thrones, but you refused to take your eyes of Zeus. You had received a wink from Apollo and a smile from Aphrodite as you walked in but beside that it had been eye contact for at least five minutes. You knew better to speak before you were spoken to but the way they surrounded you and stared down on you was bringing up bad memories and you were really fighting a panic attack.

Seemingly sensing this Apollo cleared his throat, “Perhaps we should start father?” While you were grateful a part of you hated how well the flirtatious god knew you, he was the first to tend to your wounds when you first escaped, healing them enough so you wouldn’t die from blood loss but not enough for anyone to suggest he was picking favourites. His warm hands had provided a sense of comfort you thought you had lost entirely.

Zeus nodded slowly, a letter appearing in his hand, “So these are your terms? Transformation into high Fae, permission to live in a new world with visits back to this one twice a year?” you presumed Hades, or your mother had written the letter, neither of them present currently. You nodded clearly, not entirely trusting your voice.

“I guess it’s only fair, but a full transformation will hurt,”

“I’m sure I can take it.” you lifted your chin, holding your shaking hands tightly in an attempt to conceal them.

Zeus laughed, not taking his eyes of you, “I’m sure you can. Does anyone have any major oppositions?”

Aphrodite raised her hand, “I’d like to add that during her transformation, her womb changes shape so she may birth Illyrian children.” You shot her a grateful look, still not entirely sure why she was suddenly so invested in ensuring your happiness, but you wouldn’t complain.

Hera was the next to speak and you fought the urge to roll your eyes, “Why is she getting special treatment again? What did she do that was so different?”

“She was tortured for days!” Athena exclaimed,

“So?” Ares now.

“She was a child, it was brutal.” Apollo jumped to your aid and soon the chamber was filled with shouting voices as they argued over your fate.

“SILENCE.” Zeus quieted the room instantly and every eye turned to him, but he remained focused on you, “Well then? Answer the question girl, what makes you so special?”

You thought for a second before answering, “I don’t consider it special treatment. After the battles I’ve fought and the pain I’ve endured to help your causes, I’d consider it a form of retirement.” You kept Zeus’ gaze and let a streak of the evil Hades had warned you off show, smiling when his smug smile disappeared. He waved his hand, “Very well then, High Fae with altered womb and permission to live in their world and visit our occasionally, that is all?”

You nodded and he assessed you before holding out his hand, his gaze darkening. You furrowed your eyebrows as your limbs started to tingle before pain took over your entire body.

--

You had felt pain so many times before, pain that left more than just physical trauma, but this was different. You felt as if your blood had become fire and every bone was breaking as new ones reformed. You didn’t have any sense of time or place, all you could feel was pain. At one point you thought it was over only to open your eyes, feeling impossibly soft sheets beneath you, and see Apollo hovering over you, sweat dripping from his brow as he took some of the pain away, even for just a moment.

When you finally awoke you were on the ground. You stood up quickly, almost knocking yourself over as your movement were much faster than usual. You were outside a glowing city, it didn’t have skyscrapers like New York, but it was so comforting to look at you felt yourself being drawn in. As you crossed the border however, a beautiful man with dark hair appeared, his eyes narrowing.

“Who are you and why are you trying to get in here?” A shot of fear went through you as you felt his magic, it was thick in the air and powerful.

“I’m not going to hurt anyone, I’m just looking for someone,” you explained, swallowing down the lump in your throat. The handsome man’s gaze turned vacant before softening after a moment.

“I apologise, I’m Rhysand. Let me help you find whoever it is, what’s their name?”

“That’s okay, really. His name is Azriel, but I don’t think he’s expecting me.” Rhysand stopped, his head turning towards you, “what is it?” you asked.

“(y/n)?”

“How do you know my name?” you stepped back but he held out his hands,

“No, no I’m Az’s brother, let me take you to him.” he grabbed your arm softly and suddenly you were standing in a warm room facing Azriel. You felt tears fill your eyes as you stared at him, he uttered your name in question and you nodded running into his arms, completely engulfed by his scent, tears of joy running down your face when you suddenly realised something, pulling away.

“Did you say brother?” you turned to Rhysand, feeling all the plants in the air respond to your calls, when Azriel tugged you back to him.

“Not biological don’t worry.” He whispered and Rhysand laughed.

“I like her.”

“Hmm I was two seconds away from castrating you,” His eyes widened slightly and you laughed, turning back to Azriel as he looked over you.

“How- you, you’re Fae?” His eyes were filled with worry again, afraid he was being tricked.

“I never got my reward remember, I knew I would need it in the future,” you smiled at him as he cupped your face and leaned down to kiss you. You pulled apart, Azriel growling when you heard catcalls, turning, and seeing the room had practically filled. A shot of fear went through you as your eyes landed on another man who had red siphons, and Azriel followed your gaze, a hand stroking your face in reassurance.

“So this must be (y/n), welcome to our home, I’m Feyre,” A beautiful woman stepped forward and clasped your hand in hers, which you noted were stained from paint. Everyone else soon made introductions and they urged you to sit as you found out about this makeshift family Azriel was in.

“Oh! That’ll be Nyx, I’ll go,” Feyre said when a baby started crying in the distance,

“Wait what did she say the babies name was?” You asked, holding in a laugh.

“Nyx?” Rhys said,

“Oh, course, cool cool cool,”

“What?” Azriel asked, looking at you strangely.

“I’ve kind of met her,”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, she’s like the evilest deity there is, and she did not like me,” Rhysand stared at you with a look of shock on his face, but before anyone said anything else, Amren was laughing loudly.

“You must tell me all about these Gods girl.”

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tags: @tastedlikedamnation

[teenyweenynightghost]

Måneskin Group Chat- Chapter 5

(Ok so I will be a decent human being and give y’all a bit more of a warning. So when I wrote the angsty plot last night i was feeling dramatic so now i have to listen to sad music so i can get in the mood for writing what i hope will be the last non-text chapter. Anyway, once this is posted my writing is no longer my problem so be cautious)

Warnings: my writing, language

“Ethan”

His name echoed in my head over and over again, a beautiful song with no end, an orchestra made of nature’s most delicate creatures. The sounds of birds chirping and leaves rustling as the wind softly blows them all around...that’s what hearing and saying his name felt like. As if the sun suddenly peeked through an endless sea of stormy clouds. Everything began warming up, all doubts and worries left my mind, as if on instinct, so that it can be filled with the one thing that truly healed it, the one thing that truly healed my soul- my darling Ethan.

“Y/N?” Damiano asked from the drivers seat, again, and thus succeeding at making me stop thinking about Ethan, for a second time. I was close to killing him.

“What is it” I asked sharply. “We’re home” he responded, with a soft look on his face.

Oh. Shit.

Now this was very much not a fairytale anymore and the peaceful sound of birds chirping turned into an irritating non-stop alarm that scratched my ears. Focusing on all of the things that bothered me, I forgot to get out of the car, thus having Thomas slowly picking me up and putting me on the alley-way.

“You know what I realised” I said, softly looking at the sky.

“You’re in love with Ethan?” asked Victoria with a cheeky expression on her face

“What? No Im not Ethan is my best friend and I do- O MY FUCKING GOD” My face fell at the sudden realisation . Behind me i could hear three people losing their shit laughing. The world was spinning under me and the corners of my eyes turned black.

“Holy Fuck Victoria why the fuck didn’t you tell me earlier you dumbass YOU LEFT ME ALONE!” I kept on rambling trying to find an excuse for being in this overwhelming nerve-wrecking minefield of an emotion. Meanwhile, I am pretty sure I heard Damiano trying to help Thomas up, after he inevitably fell down from laughing too hard. At me.

A sudden wave of embarrassment rushed over me. “What the fuck guys! First you kidnapp me, then you tell me i love Ethan and now you’re laughing at me!?

Vic wiped a tear and tried to answer through giggles “Im sorry cucciola but the way you reacted to it all is just hilarious! I mean it literally is like that audio on tik tok with the piano song- at first its soft and peaceful, just like you were in the car ride here, and then the realisation hit, and, in perfect sync with the music you realised the clownery of it all!

I heard a howling laughter coming from behind me. I turned to see Damiano on his knees, choking and struggling to breathe, as he was cackling even harder than before. “Shut up” I muttered quickly and went inside. 

I quickly made my way up the creaky stairs and ran to the bathroom. I slammed the door shut and let my emotions overwhelm me. My night had gone horribly wrong. I was right. I knew I wasn’t made for these things. God, what was my poor date even thinking. What was I thinking? Was I really in love with Ethan?

I kept sobbing and shaking until I heard a light knock on the door. I tried to wipe away my face quickly but it was too late. In a moment I had Ethan’s strong arms wrapped around me, bringing me the comfort i so badly wanted. “Shh, princess, it’s alright. You don’t have to think about anything right now” He had no idea how much those words meant to me. No idea how much he meant to me. I snuggled my face in the crook of his neck, as he shifted his weight so that we could both sit comfortably. He started humming lightly, and his vibrations only soothed me further. His fingers started playing with my hair, before going to my shoulders and massaging them lightly. I slowly closed my eyes, and noticed how I had unconsciously matched my breathing with his. He smelt like sandalwood and a dark stormy day, a scent which for years comforted me deeply. I slowly started feeling his muscles flexing as he picked me up and took me to his bedroom. He laid me down on the mattress and got right behind me. He helped take off my clothes and did the same with his. All we were now was a tangled mess of limbs.

I started becoming incredibly aware of everything. His breath on my neck, his calloused hands sliding up and down my bare back, barely even grazing it. I shivered and his eyed immediately met mine. “Are you cold, cara mia?” “No, don’t worry about it.” I snuggled into him even further, and soon there was nothing between us. Not even air.

For the first time that night, I felt at peace. As if nothing was in its wrong place, as if i wasn’t doing something bad or that I would regret. I knew what Victoria had said, and I just couldn’t wait any longer. Thinking back to all the moments Ethan had tried to express his emotions to me- offering me a warm cup of coffee every morning, offering to take care of my goats, despite being quite furious with my purchase initially. His actions spoke louder than his words. As if on cue, he tightened his arms around my waist and left a chaste kiss on my neck.

“Ethan” i muttered half-asleep. “Yes darling” His eyes were closed, no frown on his face and all of his muscled relaxed. He looked so at peace, so young. I smiled slightly and brought my forehead to his. Our noses touched, and thats when he opened his eyes too. I was met with his sleepy but affectionate gaze, dark and striking, reading all of my secrets.

“What were you going to say cucciola?” His eyes never once left mine, only gently bringing me back to reality. I smiled and brushed a hair strand behind his ears. “I’m in love with you.” His eyes widened. He scanned my face to see if he heard me right and i only smiled to reaffirm my words. His lips were instantly in mine, capturing them in what felt like the most passionate kiss I ever had. We moved in sync as he brought his hands up to cup my face, and I couldn’t help but smile. We pulled apart, no longer being able to breathe, but staying so close we could hear each other’s heartbeat. “ I’m in love with you as well”. He kissed me once more, then pulled me back into his arms. He brushed my hair again and with that, we both drifted to sleep.

                                                   -------------

I was awoken by a few light beams filtering through the curtains. Behind me, I felt someone breath evenly as their arms held me close. My mind wandered back to the events of last night. We were off to a rocky start, but it was all forgiven once I came home to him.

Y/n tried to turn softly so that she wouldn’t wake Ethan up. Now facing him, she couldn’t help but admire his soft features. She left a few soft kisses on his cheek, before lightly brushing her lips with him. At that, the boy in front of her opened his eyes, and smiled brightly. He cupped her cheek and brought their faces together, kissing her once more.

The pair stayed cuddled like this for a few more minutes before heading downstairs. Y/n approached the coffee machine and turned it on, while Ethan took some leftover patisserie from yesterday. After all of the food was on the table, Y/n went to sit down, only to be interrupted by Ethans grunt. He took a seat on one of the chairs and beckoned her to come closer. “C’mere amore”. Y/n did as she was told and went to sit on his lap. They ate together in silence, listening to the soft tunes playing on the radio.

Out of nowhere, they heard some giggling. They both turned around and saw three heads peeking from the staircase. Y/n rolled her eyes and sighed gravely, earning a chuckle from Ethan. The three musketeers who created so much chaos the previous night, emerged from their poor hiding spot singing Italy’s National Anthem.

Y/N scoffed at that and Ethan smirked. “So, who finally confessed” asked Victoria cheekily. “We both did, but Ethans came second” Y/n said proudly. Now it was Ethan’s turn to scoff. Thomas, who was still pissed that he had been woken up so early stole the remaining croissant out of Y/Ns plate and ate it in one bite. The rest of the band sat down and enjoyed some coffee too, as Y/Ns goats kept bugging the poor guitarist.

“Well, Im glad the issue between you two has been fixed. I was starting to choke on all that tension” said Damiano out of nowhere.

“Ha ah very funny” answered Ethan, his face completely blank. Y’N turned around and kissed him once more, to keep Damiano on Ethan’s good side.

The rest of their day was similar. Soft touches, random glances filled with love, kissed in between the bands’ practice sessions...

Truth be told, no one was happier than the two lovers who no longer kept their feelings hidden under the mask of friendship. 

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Omg so I was listening to some classical music and just as I was getting to the mushy parts it started playing a circus theme omg the universe is talking to me and im afraid its not good.

Anyway i hope you liked it, i will definitely continue chapter 6 as being chaotic and sarcastic, however , if yall want to, i could possibly write some blurbs with ethan x reader.

Until then, y’all can wait until the next chapter cuz its seven am and i have a long and empty day ahead of me 

[wiypt-writes]

Stark Spangled Banner

Ch21: Shards Of A Broken Soul

Summary: Katie is finally reunited with Steve, Tony and the rest of the Avengers, and the extent of her injuries become clear. Can Steve push his own feelings of anger and inadequacy to one side enough to help her focus on getting better?

Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark

Warnings: Bad language, injuries, mentions of rape. Avoid if these upset you. Smut (NSFW) 18+

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Katie Stark and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

A/N: @angrybirdcr​ you are the best image provider EVER!!!

Chapter 20

Stark Spangled Banner Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Both Tony and Steve were anxious, Bruce could tell. He also noticed the Soldier’s knuckles were angry and bleeding. Standing up, he headed to the back of the jet to check the medical equipment. It was fully stocked as much as could be, and picking up an ice pack and some gauze he headed over to Steve and tapped his shoulder.

“Thanks.” Steve took the gauze and wiping at his split knuckles before applying the ice pack “Be fine in a coupla hours”

“Tony, you wanna switch out?” Bruce asked, “I can fly if you…” “No, I got it, besides…” he said turning his seat and gesturing to the ‘Jarvis is my co-pilot’ sticker that Katie had gotten him a while back as a joke, which was stuck to the control panel “As the sign says, its JARVIS doing it really not me…I’m just supervising.” “So, I hate to ask…” Bruce said.

“Then don’t” Tony looked at him fiercely and Steve sighed.

“None of us want to hear it Tony but…” he took a deep breath “we need to be prepared…did they say how she was hurt or…” Tony ran his hand over his face, stroking his less-groomed than normal goatee “They said she was bruised, quite severely, her left hand is in a bad way…” Steve let out a low growl at that, and his right hand flew to his sweat pants pockets, which he unzipped and ran his hands across the smooth metal and stones. Her rings had been with him ever since they’d been returned by Coulson “…and she’s in and out of consciousness, has a nasty cough, but other than that…” Tony trailed off. “Ok.” Bruce stood up, “I’ll prep what I can to make her comfy until we get her home.”

The 2 hour flight to the airfield seemed to take an eternity, but finally JARVIS announced they were approaching and shortly after they touched down. Steve was out of his seat before the plane had landed, and half jumped off the ramp before it was fully down and Tony wasn’t far behind. Bruce opted to stay behind with the jet and Steve knew it was because the gentle man didn’t want to intrude on what was going to be an emotional reunion. 

The man waiting was a huge guy. Huge. Taller than Steve and equally as wide, but with the figure of a once welt built man that had slightly gone to seed. His eyes were a warm hazel and he gave of a friendly aura.

“Captain Rogers, Mr Stark.” The man greet them on the tarmac of the airfield as the various ATC staff bustled around, heading to the jet where they were greeted by Bruce.

“Sergeant Matkinson?” Tony asked, shaking the large hand extended to him in greeting.

“No, sorry Matkinson is the one who called you. I’m Dave Bellamy, the Duty Inspector.”

He turned as Steve and Tony followed him towards the waiting car. “I gotta admit, this wasn’t what I expected when I came in today.” “Has she said anything about…” Steve began as they approached the car, but the man shook his head.

“Other than asking for you and refusing to go to Hospital she hasn’t said much at all.” he said, stopping to open the driver’s side door. Steve climbed in next to him and Tony settled in the back. “The on duty medic has cleaned her up as best she could, but she got a bit hysterical at one point when she woke up. She calmed down as soon as she realised she was safe. She did mutter something about the leather jacket we found her with and her needing to keep it as it belonged to a friend but other than that she hasn’t said much at all.” Steve frowned and looked at Tony, the pair of them exchanging a puzzled look. “A friend?” Steve turned to the officer who fired up the sirens and pulled off with a screech of tires.

“Yeah.” Bellamy nodded “We figured that whoever broke her out gave it to her, on account of her having nothing else to keep her warm but all we know is that car was taken in Collorado. And someone drove it up here and dumped it with her in the back. Whoever it was, wanted her found and safe.”

No one spoke for a while until Bellamy chipped in again. “We tried to give her some food and a warm drink but she just stared at it, like it was going to poison her or something. She looks a lot better than she did when we found her on account of her being cleaned up but she’s still…” he shrugged “Well, the sooner you can call get her some proper medical attention the better.

"And you didn’t call a doctor?” Tony bit out.

“Of course we did Mr Stark.” Bellamy sighed, his tone a little annoyed “We called an ambulance but when the paramedics arrived she went crazy. And I mean, crazy. In the end we sent them away. Like I say, she let our medic, Sarah, look at her but…” he trailed off and once more the car felt silent.

With the sirens going it didn’t take them long to arrive. Steve walked into the station through the rear entrance with a lump in his throat, which got bigger every time he thought about what state his girl was going to be in. But she was there. In this building. Ignoring the obvious looks that Captain America and Tony Stark attracted in the busy corridors of the small station, he followed the large Inspector to a room and the Inspector nodded, opening the door. 

“She said the light hurt her eyes.” The Inspector said by way of explanation as Steve and Tony stepped into the room. It smelt clean, slightly clinical and was dimly lit. Steve blinked, his vision adjusting to the lower level of lighting and saw Katie was led on the little medical bench. At the sound of voices she raised her head to look at the door.

“Oh Jesus…” Tony muttered, his hand flying to his mouth, turning away clearly unable to look at her battered form any longer than he had to. But Steve remained still, his chest heaving as his eyes focussed on her face as she looked at him, almost as if she couldn’t see him. He swallowed as nothing but utter relief washed over him, drowning out the initial flicker of anger he’d seen at the state she was in. The medic may have cleaned her face but her hair was a tangle of dirt and dried blood. The entire left side of her gaunt face was a mass of bruises, some faded and yellow, some new and angry. There was a raised line of pink to the left side of her mouth where a cut had healed, another large one down the side of her right temple, a deep slash over the bridge of her nose which looked to be on its way to healing and Steve’s eyes then flew to her hand which was bent out of shape so badly. 

As Katie blinked, the two men came into focus. She noticed her brother, his face was utterly broken and then she looked at her soldier, and the first thing she saw was the growth of stubble on his handsome face that was well on its way to being a beard. His eyes, his brilliant ocean blues were dull with pain, worry, fright but there was nothing on his face but relief. 

They were both there, the two most important men in her life, the men that had always made her feel safe and loved, and the emotion crashed over her in a huge surge. Katie felt her face crumple up as she spoke softly “Stevie…” “Oh, Doll.” his voice cracked as he crossed the room, dropping onto the bench besides her and pulling her into his arms. His touch was familiar and comforting, she couldn’t remember how long it has been since he held her. She wound her arms around his waist, her face pushing into his chest as she began to cry.

He held her tight as he pressed his face into her hair. It was dirty but he didn’t care. “Sweetheart, I missed you so much. I’m so sorry we didn’t…we didn’t…” his words trailed off as they were replaced by a choking sob as his tears began to fall whilst he simply sat there, his arms around her. She felt small, much smaller than normal, and as his hands gently rubbed up her back and he gave a horrified swallow as he realised he could feel her spine. He took a shaky breath and loosened his grip ever so slightly and he looked up as Tony crossed the room, wiping the tears from his face as he sat on the other side of the bed and gently sat next to her. She pushed away from Steve slightly to look up at her brother.

“Hey Kiddo.” he croaked out “Place has gone to shit without you.” She let out a little jerk of a laugh as he reached out and tenderly cupped her face.

“Take me home.” she said, the tears pricking into her eyes as she pressed her face once more into Steve’s chest, his warm, familiar, comforting chest.

“Of course doll,” he choked out, looking up at Tony who wiped at his face again. “Of course.”

******

“Hi Bruce…” Katie managed to stutter when Steve carried her onto the jet, Tony doing the thankyous to the officer who had driven them back, handing Tony the leather jacket that Katie had made a huge fuss about not leaving without for some reason, but there was plenty of time to dig into that later.

“Hey Nova.” he smiled softly, as Steve set her down on the medical bench at the back. He kept her right hand in his, gently kissing her knuckles as Bruce took her in. He looked up at Steve who swallowed and nodded, understanding and the Doctor looked at Katie. “I’m just gonna take a look at you, that ok?” Katie had to stop herself from laughing “It aint gonna be pretty” she said, before she started coughing again, scrunching herself up at the pain and Steve’s hand gently dropped to her head as he crouched besides her.

“She’s running a temp.” he looked at Bruce who nodded.

“Probably an infection.” he surmised “Don’t worry sweetie, we’ll get you patched up and back to normal in no time.” he said as he gently hiked up the hoody they’d given her at the station.

“Told you.” she said, clocking the look on his face as he tried, but failed, to hide the gasp of shock and horror. Steve glanced over and his face paled at the mass of bruising on her sides. He could see her ribs, her hips. He knew she’d lost weight but this…

“I dunno when I last ate. Didn’t trust them.” She muttered as she lay back. Steve dropped a kiss to her forehead as Tony joined them.

“Well, on top of the obvious you’re probably a little malnourished.” Bruce sighed, as he leant to listen to her breathing with a stethoscope before letting out a small hum and a nod “Yeah, you have a nasty chest infection…and that hand is gonna need looking at.” “She gonna be ok?” Tony demanded as Bruce moved him out of the way to gather up some supplies. The jet was kitted out for quick missions, nothing like this, but he found what he was looking for.

“She is here.” Katie mumbled and Tony arched an eyebrow.

“Brat.” She let out a small smile and Steve dropped a kiss to her forehead, allowing himself a little chuckle at the fact her sassiness hadn’t been beaten out of her.

Beaten out of her. Jesus.

He straightened up, once more the tears stinging his eyes and looked away, composing himself. 

“Once we’re home I can start you on some IV anti-biotics and glucose.” Bruce said, drawing something into a syringe. “But right now I’m going to give you something for the pain, which should help you sleep too.”

She nodded as Bruce gently rolled up the sleeve on her top, Steve letting out an angry growl at the finger marks there along with the marks on her wrists from restraints, and Bruce pushed the needle into her arm. Once he was done, Bruce readjusted her hoody for her and Tony gently placed a blanket over her, smoothing a hand over her head. 

“I’ll get us in the air.”  he said, and Bruce nodded.

“Sooner we get home the better.”

It wasn’t long before Katie felt her eyes drooping.

“Stevie, I’m so tired.” she mumbled and he leaned over, kissing her head.

“Then sleep.” he said gently, his hand stroking her dirty hair “I’ll be right here.”

And this time, as she drifted off into the darkness, the last thing she saw were those blue eyes, and the last thing she felt was her man’s hand gently caressing her hair in the way that always soothed her.

*****

Katie was still out of it when they arrived back, Steve not once moving from her side the entire flight back and as soon as the jet had landed, they were greeted by the rest of the Avengers plus Sam, Rhodey and Pepper. As Banner wheeled the gurney down the ramp, Steve walking along side it, holding her hand, Thor’s face contorted in rage at the sight of his friend and there was loud clap of thunder which made them all jump. Clint gently patted his back as he swallowed.

“She gonna be ok?” It was Rhodey who spoke first as they wheeled her past, the sight of the little girl who he’d seen grown up looking so badly beaten and frail made him sick as Banner wheeled her past, Steve not even acknowledging the rest of the team as they passed.

“She’s not in a great way but…” Tony sighed as Pepper strolled over to give him a hug, her eyes brimming with tears “Bruce thinks she’ll recover physically, it’s the mental trauma I’m worried about.”

“She’s strong.” Natasha said, wrapping her arms around herself. “A lot stronger than we give her credit for.” Clint gently rubbed at her back as she turned to him, blinking back tears. He pulled her in for a hug which she took, pressing her face into her best friend’s shoulder. 

“Any idea on how she escaped?” Sam asked.

“No.” Tony looked at him “Not that it matters, main thing is she’s here.” he turned to Nat and Clint as the red head stepped back and turned to face him. “Cap was on about someone going back to check out where she was held…you wanna get on it?”

Clint nodded but Nat hesitated slightly. She was unnerved by the emotion she had felt upon seeing Katie and didn’t want to leave her. Sam instantly picked up on it and he turned to Clint. “I’ll come.” “And me.” Thor growled, the vein in his temple twitched slightly.

Clint nodded at the two men and Tony inclined his head to the jet. “JARVIS has the co-ords.”

With that he turned and the arm that wasn’t around Pepper gently draped over Natasha’s shoulder, giving her a quick squeeze before they headed inside, followed by Rhodey.

******

It was a good few hours before Katie came round again. When she did she sat bolt upright, panic flooding her system, a loud scream bubbling from her throat.

“Hey, hey…” she heard a voice and a gentle hand round hers and she took a panicked breath, instantly scrambling away across the bed as she felt it dip besides her. “Sweetheart, it’s ok…” 

That voice. It was Steve. Her soldier.

At that realisation she instantly calmed, as she turned to face him.

“You’re safe, you’re home…” he smiled softly, his hand gently cupping her battered face as she looked at him, swallowing.

“Sorry, I was a little out of it, thought I was still…” she trailed off, looking down at the warm, clean, comfortable sheets and blankets she was wrapped in. “You’ve nothing to apologise for.” Steve sighed, “If anything I’m sorry…sorry we didn’t find you sooner. We tried…” he hung his head slightly “God did we try…” “Stop it, you idiot.” She squeezed his hand “This is not on you. It isn’t on anyone other than Hydra…” “Huh…” Tony spoke as he walked into the room “Not what Cap was saying when he broke Fury’s nose.” “You didn’t?” Katie looked at him as Steve gave a small groan.

“Oh he did.” Tony said, pulling up a chair at side of the bed next to where Steve was sat by Katie, and turning it round so he was perched straddling the seat, his arms crossing over the back as he leant forward “Made a terrific noise.” “Did J record it?” She asked and Steve groaned again.

“Oh you bet he did.” Tony smirked “I’m intending on using it as a warning to everyone about what happens when Spangles loses his shit. Not to mention the amount of punchbags, doors, walls and windows we’ve had to replace or repair…”

“Is this really necessary?” Steve sighed and Katie grinned.

“It’s very necessary.” she said seriously and Steve snorted, shaking his head. “What did you punch Fury for?” Steve ran his hand over his face and scratched his chin, he really did need a shave. “Because he was lying to us again. SHIELD knew that Sceptre had gone missing and if they had warned us then Hydra might not have targeted you specifically.” “You mean they would have taken someone else?” She narrowed her eyes at him. He fell silent.

“I tried.” Tony said softly, I tried to get them to take me, but they…” “Ok, enough.” she said, a little louder and both men looked at her. “This stops, right now, the pair of you. I can’t cope with the display of masculine self-pity.”

“It’s not self-pity…” Tony started, somewhat indignantly and she cut him off.

“I don’t care what you want to call it. But we stop now with the blame, ok? This was no-ones fault, no one but those motherfuckers who took me. And if I hear the word sorry come out of either of your mouths again in relation to this, as soon as I’m well enough to I’m going to kick both your assess…”

At that point Bruce swept back into the room, smiling softly at her. “Can I take it from the threats you’re issuing that you’re feeling a little better?” “A bit” she nodded. “Still, not great but I don’t feel as faint anymore, and my head doesn’t feel as full of cotton wool.” “Your blood sugar levels will be picking up.” Bruce smiled as he nodded to the needle in the crook of her arm which she hadn’t noticed and began to explain to her “I’ve started you on a low dose of glucose and some antibiotics to fight that chest infection, which was my first concern. You’re malnourished but I’m afraid there’s no actual food for a while, couple of days we can look at introducing nutrients orally by liquids.”

Katie looked at Steve and smiled “Know what I need?” He smiled back “Ma’s Chicken soup?” “Damned right.” she grinned “That stuff was magic when I had a cold” “I’ll make you all the soup you want.” he said, gently, his hand running over her forehead. No one stated the obvious, that she had much more than a fucking cold going on.

“And then when I can I’m gonna eat the biggest portion of Mac and Cheese I can manage” she sighed “And a cheeseburger…” “Extra pickle, chilli fries, vanilla milkshake and a slice of apple pie” Steve and Tony recited her order perfectly and she grinned.

“Preferably all from the Diner round the corner.” she said with a decisive nod.

“Well, as soon as Bruce says its ok that’s what you can have” Tony said gently “For now let’s just concentrate on getting you healthy again.” “I hate to beak this up, I really do…” Bruce said, and he did. Seeing them reunited warmed his soul, but he needed to dig into what was going on. “But now you’re awake I need to run some tests, do a few scans. I can’t see any signs of internal bleeding or anything but I want to be 100% what’s going on.”

Katie nodded “Other than my ribs and my hand…” she trailed off and looked down at her left hand which was misshapen but wasn’t as sore as it had been on account of the fact Bruce had expertly bound it to give it some support. “They took my rings…” she said softly, before looking at her right hand this time “They broke my fingers, and took my fucking rings, bastards…” The thought of anyone breaking any bone in her body alighted a fire of anger in Steve’s chest, but he gave a small smile as he shook his head “Coulson found them.” he said, reaching into his pocket. He held them out to her and her eyes started to water.

“I thought I’d lost them…” “Baby they’re not important.” Steve shook his head “Lumps of metal and stone…but you…” he swallowed “Anyway, doesn’t matter, they’re here.”

“Gonna be a while before I can wear it again huh?” she gently ran her hand over the shape of her engagement ring which lay in Steve’s palm before she looked up at Bruce who gave her a sad nod.

“’Fraid so.”

“Not this one.” Steve held up her emerald and she grinned, gleefully holding out her right hand for him to slip it back on her finger before placing a kiss just above it.

“I’ll keep the other one safe, promise.” Steve smiled.

She nodded, and held up her right hand looking at her emerald before she sighed, somewhat happily, and then she frowned.

“Hang on, how did Coulson find them?” she looked at Steve. “They were in the first place you were held.” Tony said “It’s a long story but SHIELD got a tip off about an abandoned base being back in use and they raided it, but they were too late. You’d gone.” “I don’t even remember them moving me.” she sighed, and Bruce shook his head.

“Amnesia is common when you’ve been through some kind of trauma.” he said “Your mind’s way of coping.” Katie lay her head back on the pillow. “Pity I remember everything else they did. Well, mostly…”

Steve shook his head “Don’t think on any of that. You’re safe now, and I’m never letting you out of my sight again.” “Well that’s gonna be awkward when I need the bathroom.” she looked at him and he played along, pausing as if he was pondering something.

“Ok, well maybe I’ll just wait outside and listen to you pee instead.” “Kinky fucker.” she shot back causing him to snort a laugh. Thankfully the scans and tests showed nothing more serious than 6 broken ribs, 3 of which were well on their way to healing, a slight tear in the intercostal muscle between two and a small tear in her spleen which again, Bruce was pleased to see was also repairing.

“You’re normally fit and healthy.” he explained “So your body shouldn’t have an issue repairing itself, granted not as fast as Cap’s but…”

“Well we can’t all be Super Soldiers.” she shrugged.

“What is slightly more concerning is that hand.” Bruce said. “the bones have started to set, and they’re not realigned correctly and I’m worried about long term damage. So I’ve made a call to Helen Cho, the geneticist I told you all about that I met at the Convention a few months back. She’s going to fly in with an old colleague of hers, a Dr Wang Xui Ying…” Katie and Tony both snorted, because Wang, exchanging a gleeful look and Steve rolled his eyes at their blatant childishness, but he wasn’t really bothered. It was good to see.

“Yeah yeah…” Bruce shook his head, a smirk dancing on his face “For obvious reasons he goes by his middle name in the Western world…anyway, he’s a leading Orthopaedic surgeon. I’ve sent him your X-Ray results and he says he can fix it, but it’s going to need an operation. And I don’t want to put you under any form of anaesthetic until you’re stronger.” “How long?” Steve asked and Katie bit back a smile at his demanding nature.

“If you’re vitals keep improving then maybe 5 to 7 days.” Bruce said. “We’ll see how things go. They’re going to arrive over the weekend.” “I’ve wanted to meet this Dr Cho for a while, she sounds intriguing.” Tony nodded. “I’ll make sure he guest rooms are prepped.” Katie spent the rest of the day greeting her various visitors and flitting in and out of sleep, which was perfectly normal, so Bruce said. She woke later in the evening to Steve talking in a hushed voice to Clint, Sam and Thor, whilst Natasha, Bruce and Tony listened in, Rhodey who had to get back to work had left a few hours ago after popping in to see how Katie was doing the last time she had been awake.

“No idea.” Clint said as he finished giving Steve a debrief on what they had found, the Captain insisting they did it in the medical room, not wanting to leave Katie for a second if he could help it “Place was littered with bodies. Mostly gun shots, bar Jones, who we found in the cell they kept Nova in.”

“Yeah, he hadn’t been shot.” Sam said and he looked at Steve significantly “His neck was snapped, and when I say snapped, I mean crushed.”

“Good.” Natasha spat, and Steve had to say he was inclined to agree. He hoped the fucker had suffered, his only regret was he wouldn’t get to do it himself. And then the significance of what Sam had said hit him.

“Hang on, you say crushed?” Bruce asked and Clint nodded.

“Never seen anything like it Doc.” he shrugged “It was like someone had put him in a vice”

Sam looked at Steve whose eyes widened as his memory flicked back to the first HYDRA base they’d raided back in DC. 

No, it couldn’t be…

“There was one man.” Thor continued and Steve looked at him “He was in the laboratory area. His death was an execution.” “Bullet, straight between the eyes.” Sam levelled Steve with another look. “It was just like in DC…” he made a gun shape with his fingers and held it at the top of his nose, miming the action.

“Do you think…” Steve started to ask and then a soft voice cut him off

“You know you could just ask me.” Katie spoke as she suddenly realised that no one had asked how she had escaped yet. The group all looked at her, breaking up their huddle to move towards her. Thor, Clint and Sam, who hadn’t seen her since she had woken up all came over to drop kisses onto her cheeks, her head and Clint gently brushed her head with his hand.

“Good to have you back Nova.” He smiled and she looked at him, his face soft with emotion.

“Good to be back.” she said before she sighed “So I suppose you all want to know how I got out?” “It’s been puzzling us a little.” Nat smirked.

She looked at Steve who took a seat back by her bed and then she told him just what he had suspected “It was Bucky.” Steve swallowed, and looked up at Sam.

“How?” Tony frowned, “And I mean I’m beyond glad he did Kiddo but what we he doing there? It makes no sense.”

“Yes it does.” Steve said, looking up “When we were tracking him we found the same thing in DC. Bodies all over the place, windpipes crushed, but one had been shot straight between the eyes. When we found the footage he was one of the men strapping him into the chair before they…” he trailed off, taking a deep breath, it still hurt to talk about it.

“We think Ol’ Frosty was on some kind of revenge rampage.” Sam shrugged “I expect if we run that Doctor we found in La Ronge through the system, we’ll find he was connected to the Winter Soldier programme in some way too.” “And Jones?” Clint asked “Think he might have been too?” Katie gave a snort “No, he was trying to make a run for it and was dragging me with him, but I’d heard the shots and knew whoever it was wasn’t HYDRA. I thought it might have been you guys so I was screaming, Bucky must have heard…he snapped his neck like it was a twig. Then he gave me his jacket and carried me out.” “So that’s why you were making such a fuss about it.” Steve looked at her. She shrugged.

“He saved my life. Figured the least I could do was save his jacket, in case we ever do find him again.”

Steve’s mind was whirring. He wanted to ask her so many more questions, had he said anything to her, had he recognised her, but he knew now that wasn’t important. Instead, he’d save it for later, when she was stronger. And he added it to the huge long list of times Bucky had bailed him out. Only this sat right at the top of things his best friend had done for him. 

Right at the top.   He felt her hand on his and he gave her a small smile, gently reaching over to kiss the top of her head and she smiled, looking around at the assembled crowd in the room.

“You know, they threatened to kill you all unless I told them what they thought I knew. And I laughed.” she said, shaking her head.“I mean, I’d have loved that. Them to meet you lot…”

Thor made a noise that was halfway between a snort and a growl “I would very much like to meet them too. So would my hammer.”

“Told you that you should have let me put an arrow through Ward’s head.” Clint crossed his arms in front of his chest.

“Oh no.” She spat fiercely, and Steve was pleased to see there was a fire in her eyes “If anyone is putting a bullet between that fucker’s eyes it’s me. And I want him to see me when I do it.”

“Someone’s clearly feeling better.” Natasha smirked and Katie winked at her friend.

“Loads, thank God.”  “You’re welcome.” Thor grinned and there were various chuckles around the room. Katie broke into a laugh which hastily descended into a coughing fit. As she took a sip of the water Steve offered her through the straw she glanced around, her eyes shining with humour.

“I love you guys!”

 *******

Steve camped on the couch in the corner of the medical room for the next 2 nights, refusing to leave. He made sure Katie fell asleep in his arms as he curled up behind her whilst the sedative Bruce gave her to help her rest went to work, and she always woke up in his arms, but the pillow and the blanket on the couch were tell-tale signs that he camped there when he was satisfied she was in a dreamless sleep. Steve knew the nightmares were going to come at some point when the sedation was no longer being used, but they’d cross that bridge when they got there. 

He’d finally been forced into going back to their floor for a shower, but first he decided to have a shave. He was glad to see his face looked a lot less tired, he certainly felt a lot less tired, having had the first two decent night’s sleep in weeks over the last 48 hours. Katie had told him all about Bucky, what he had said, how he had recognised her, carried her out and taken her to car, how she had tried to convince him to come back but he had refused, and she didn’t remember anything until waking up at the station in the back of the car. There wasn’t much to go on but Sam had departed at lunchtime the day before to follow up the leads. But as Katie had said, she didn’t think they’d see him for a while. Especially when Nat, who had been doing some digging, confirmed that all the men they had seen on the video strapping Bucky to the chair had been found, bullets between the eyes. With a sigh Steve wiped his face clear before turning on the shower. He was grateful to Bucky, he really was, but he couldn’t shake this horrible, hollow feeling of inadequacy that was balling in the pit of his stomach. He should have been the one rescuing his girl, and he’d failed. That said, as he stepped under the stream of scalding hot water he reminded himself that it didn’t matter. What did matter was the fact she was home, safe, and improving as each hour went by.

Katie could feel that she was improving too, although as she forced the last of the awful green concoction Bruce had given her to drink, she was seriously considering asking for her IV to go back in. The drink or smoothie or whatever it was, was fucking vile, but he’d assured her if she could manage it and her system didn’t reject it, then she could slowly start introducing different liquids into her system, starting with different nutrient packed juices and maybe, some soup. The thought of soup had never excited her as much in her life, but to be fair, Steve’s chicken soup was pretty damned tasty.

What was worse though, was the sheer boredom. At some point, whilst she was asleep, a huge flat screen TV had appeared on the wall, thanks to Tony as he had pointed out when he came to see her, and last night she’d curled up with Steve to watch the Wizard of Oz, but she was already going crazy led in the bed and she was desperate to get clean. She could still feel the dirt, and grime and them on her body. Steve had said he’d help her clean up when Bruce gave her the go ahead but she didn’t want him to. There was bound to be bruises on her thighs and she wasn’t ready for him to know about the fact they’d raped her. Not yet anyway. 

As Natasha was sat with her, popping in as she did a lot during the day, she decided to take her chance whilst Steve was in their apartment.

“Bruce, I need a bath or something!” She whined “it’s been 48 hours… Look, I drank all that disgusting green shit you gave me…and I feel much better…”

Bruce groaned. “Look, I’m not sure…” “My hair and…” Katie sighed leaning back, tears pricking her eyes “please…” “Alright, but someone needs to be with you. The temperature change might cause your blood pressure to drop and you could pass out.” “Rogers can take her.” Nat nodded but Katie shook her head and looked at Nat. 

“Can you?” “Me?” Nat frowned. She nodded and gave her a significant look, one Natasha could read instantly. There was something she wasn’t telling them. And as she looked into her friends eyes she had a horrible feeling she knew what. “Your hair?” She said, locking eyes with the brunette giving her an excuse and Katie nodded. “Alright. Bruce that ok with you? He sighed "fine. But not too hot, and you use the bathroom here on the medical floor.” Katie nodded and Steve chose that moment to walk back into the room.

“Hey handsome” she smiled and he dropped a kiss to her cheek as she pouted “You shaved.” “I told you, Captain America doesn’t have a beard” he chuckled. “You killed it. Murderer” He rolled his eyes. “Brucey says I can have a bath!” She said, almost excitedly “Can you go grab me some stuff? Toiletries, pyjamas, robe, towel?” Steve looked at her, then to Bruce "is that…” Bruce sighed. “It’s ok, yes. But just a short one and try not to get the bandages on that hand wet. They were fresh on this morning.” “Nat’s gonna help me” Katie said, looking at Steve. He frowned for a moment.

“I can do it.” he said, almost sullenly. She reached out with her good hand to squeeze his “It’s my hair. She can sort the tangles and braid it out of the way until I can get it cut…I think some of it might be beyond saving”

Steve looked at her, before he let out a sigh. "Alright. But at least let me help you to and from the bathroom?” She nodded and he looked at Nat who simply gazed back, her face passive.

As Steve gathered her things in their apartment, he tried not to take in personally that she didn’t want his help, he really did. It wasn’t like he knew how to braid her hair but she could always have done that once she was back in bed. He couldn’t shake off the feeling that she was pushing him away because she blamed him in some way. Blamed him for not finding her, for not being the one to help her. He grabbed her favourite pair of pyjamas, not just because they were her favourite, but because they were button up so would be easier for her to get on, and everything else she had asked for and headed back to the lab, and his worries temporarily flew from his mind when she smiled at him and held out her arms.

“Wanna carry me, Soldier?” Laughing he handed the items to Natasha and scooped her up easily into his arms as she pressed a soft kiss to his cheek.

“I love you.” she said softly and he smiled.

“Love you too, so damned much.” He said, deliberately exaggerating his Brooklyn drawl making her giggle, the sound music to his ears.

Natasha didn’t comment on the finger shaped bruising in between her legs and on the outside of her thighs when she helped her undress. Instead she’d handed Katie the wash cloth and soap so she could clean herself as best she could, and helped her reach the areas she couldn’t easily do like anything where she had to raise her arms too high. She’d washed her hair for her with infinite tenderness, telling her that she would get Pepper have a stylist to come and give it a cut soon. As instructed, Katie didn’t stay in the bath too long, the water was filthy so Natasha drained it and took the small shower attachment off the wall and carefully rinsed her off before helping her stand and wrapping her in a robe. Guiding her over to the small changing room off the side she gently sat on the bench in the middle as Nat carefully dried her hair. It was mass of split ends, brittle from the malnutrition and a fair bit of it fell out as Nat gently brushed it, but at least it was clean. "I want you to ask Pepper to call Dr Kellet my ob gyn.” Katie said gently, for the first time raising the issue “Tell her it’s just for a routine check- up after my less than adequate diet or something.”

Nat nodded. “Ok but you really should tell Steve”

“Not yet” Katie swallowed. “I can’t deal with more pity and sympathy. I don’t want anyone knowing. Not until…” she trailed off, tears forming in her eyes as Natasha gently braided her damp hair “Let me get some shred of dignity back please.”

Nat kissed the top of head in a rare display of affection and nodded before grabbing the pyjamas Steve had brought down for her, laughing as she looked at them “Tigger” “I’m a sucker for Disney”

“You wear these to bed? No wonder Rogers can’t keep his hands off you”

“I don’t wear much to bed.” She grinned back, wincing slightly as Natasha gently guided the top over her arms before buttoning it up, thankful to Steve for being so thoughtful to find ones she didn’t need to pull over her head. “Pyjamas serve as lounge wear” After cleaning her teeth she was pleased to report she felt fully human again. Natasha went to find Steve and he returned, smiling at the sight of his girl who looked a whole heap better. The only thing was that now her hair was out of her face, the injuries she’d sustained were far more noticeable but he tried not to dwell on it. Instead, he focussed on the relief in her face at finally getting clean. “Feel better?” He asked, gently grazing his fingers over the side of her neck. She nodded. “So much” she said and then shook her head as he went to pick her up “Let me walk.” "Katie…” he began but she shook her head

“Please.”

He looked at Natasha who took a deep breath “He’s right Katie, Bruce will go mad…”

“Like Hulk out mad or…” Neither of them laughed, instead Steve sighed “Please sweetheart, just…” he trailed off and she rolled her eyes.

“Fine.”

He swept her up, breathing in her once again familiar just showered smell, the vanilla of her shower gel and the oatmeal in her shampoo was like a tonic to his soul and he pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

All in all things seemed positive. That was until the next morning when Tony picked up a message which was meant for Pepper, saying that Dr Kellet would be arriving at Lunch. Unfortunately, her being Pepper’s Ob-Gyn too meant Tony knew who she was. And even more unfortunate was that her brother’s suspicious nature had led him to grilling Bruce about why she was needed, and of course Bruce knew nothing about it. And even worse than that, was that Bruce had asked why she was calling in another doctor without telling him, and it was the absolute worst thing ever, that Steve, with his impeccable timing skills, had walked back into the room at that point, clutching the flask of soup that Bruce had cleared her to eat and asked instantly what on earth another doctor was needed for.

She had tried to explain to them all that she just wanted some goddamned control in all of this, and that frankly calling her Ob Gyn was surely the right thing to do just to be on the safe-side after spending so long being practically starved, but their demeanour and reaction had guilt tripped her big time, even if he didn’t mean to. Bruce was hurt she hadn’t told him she was concerned, Tony was pissed that she hadn’t simply just asked him to call the Ob-Gyn instead of getting Nat to ask Pepper forcing her to go behind his back, and Steve was just upset she hadn’t told him she was worried in general. As they pushed her to the brink she snapped, and the tears flooded out of her, wracking her in hysterical sobs that she had tried and tried to stop and all 3 men had been absolutely devastated.

She slapped Steve hard when he tried to pull her into his arms, screamed at them all to leave her alone and a shocked Steve had called Natasha, his own tears clouding his eyes at the sight of his beautiful, strong girl breaking in front of him. Natasha had swept into the room, ordering them all out and sat on the bed, wrapping her arms round her friend, soothing her as she let everything out. 

But Steve was frightened. Frightened as to why she needed an ob-gyn and frightened as to why she hadn’t told him.

And then he pieced it together. The secrecy, why she’d wanted Natasha to help her clean up…

“Oh God.” His voice was nothing but a choked whispter as the corridor swam around him, his legs giving way. He slumped to the floor, back to the wall, praying he was wrong. “No…please no…”

Natasha stepped out of the room and closed the door behind her and she looked at Steve, he raised his head and she instantly knew he’d figured it out.

“You knew?” He spat, shaking his head “And didn’t tell me? You FUCKING KNEW?”

“Rogers she asked me not to say anything…” “Anything about what?” Tony asked as Bruce gave a small moan, the pieces slotting into place in his head too.

“You should have told me!” Steve roared as he got to his feet, his legs still shaky “That’s…she’s my fiancée…”

“Told him what?” Tony pressed as he looked between the two of them, Steve’s face contorted in rage as he glared at Natasha.  “I know, I told her to tell you but…don’t you think she’s owed this? To have some dignity and some control?”

“For fucks sake…” Tony began but he was cut off as Steve turned to him.

“She was raped, Tony.” Steve’s voice cracked as he spoke that word “Those bastards…” And with that he put his fist straight through the stud wall to his right. “They raped her…”

*****

Steve headed off to take his frustrations out on a punch bag, he felt sick. But knew it was nothing compare to how she must have felt when… he didn’t even want to think about it. But it all added to the fact that he hadn’t kept her safe. He had failed to do the one basic thing a man should be able to do for his woman. Especially when that man is a fucking Super Soldier. But the fact she hadn’t told him was what killed him the most. The tears poured down his face as he continued to pound the bag in front of him wishing he could take all this away from her.

Back in the medical wing, Dr Kellet was as sensitive as always. She softly examined Katie as Natasha stayed with her, and thankfully confirmed there was no lasting damage. She took swabs for tests and when Katie fearfully mentioned that she couldn’t remember her cycle coming in she’d smiled and shaken her head.

“You’re not pregnant.” She assured her, gently. “It’s perfectly normal in stressful circumstances, especially if you’re not in the best health too.”

It was a few hours later when tempers had calmed somewhat before Katie let Tony or Steve in the room. She hadn’t minded Bruce so much, but hearing Tony and Steve off loading at Nat out in the corridor before had pissed her off. The fact that they thought they had the right to know anything was annoying enough, but taking it out on Nat had made her even angrier. As Katie conceded they could come back in, Natasha stood up to leave and Steve shot her a positively filthy look as she left, before he turned back to his girl on the bed, unsure of how to even approach the subject, and slightly surprised to find her shooting daggers at the pair of them. Bruce left to give them some space and as her brother and fiancée both pulled up a chair, she didn’t even wait until they sat down before she spoke.

“You better apologise to Nat or so help me God Rogers, we’re gonna fall out big time.” She finished and turned to Tony. “You too,”

“She should have told us.” Steve sniffed quietly and Katie shook her head

“No, she shouldn’t because I asked her not to.” she said, “And the way you’re looking at me now is exactly why I didn’t want you to know.” “Looking at you like what?” Tony said.

“Like you feel sorry for me.” 

Steve wiped at his face “So what did…Dr Kellet say?”

“That I’m fine.” she said “no lasting damage, just like the rest of my injuries.” She took his hand and looked at him, then to her brother and spoke clearly to them both. “Now, I’m gonna say this, and it’s the last anyone speaks on the subject. I don’t want pity or sympathy or treating like I’m made of glass. I’m not gonna shatter. Those bastards tried to break me in there and I didn’t let them and I’m not gonna let them now, ok?”

Steve looked at his girl, and the fierce look in her eyes and despite himself he felt a glimmer of pride. Pride at how strong she was but he knew that despite her protestations she was going to be broken inside. That was inevitable. And it suddenly dawned on him that it didn’t fucking matter that he hadn’t been the one to save her, or that he hadn’t been able to stop it. What mattered was that he was there now to help her piece herself together.

He gave her a nod and as her tears started again, he looked at Tony before the scientist stood up and sat on the edge of the bed to wrap her in his arms. He dropped a kiss to her head, before he stood up.

“I’m going to find Natasha.” He sighed, before grimacing. “If I don’t survive, say nice things at my funeral.” Katie let out a chuckle as he tenderly placed a hand on her head and left.

Once he was gone Katie looked at Steve and he swallowed, before she gave him a soft smile and patted the side of her bed. He returned her smile and stood up, kicking off his sneakers.

“I’m sorry I upset you.” He gently sat on the bed, swinging his legs up so he was led besides her.  Katie lay her head on his chest and he gently carded his hand through her hair.

“This isn’t getting you out of apologising to Nat.” She sniffed “And I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. It isn’t because I don’t trust you, because I do. With my life. I was scared, I supposed.”

“Scared, what of?”

“That all the sympathy would break me.” She shrugged, a tear escaping her eye. “And that you’d…”

“That I’d what?”

“Look at me differently, like…I dunno, like I was broken or something dirty or..”

“Woah, woah…no.” Steve moved a little, looking down at her, his hands cupping her face. “This was not your fault, okay? Nothing about any of this is your fault. And as for looking at you like that, no way. Fuck, baby I love you, I love you so much. None of this, what they did, nothing is gonna change that. You hear me?” His own tears gently trickled down his face as she gave a little nod, taking a deep breath as he pressed a kiss to her head. “Please don’t worry about that, Doll.”

He wrapped his arms round her, pulling her close as she pressed her face into his chest, gently crying. Steve held her for a while, his heart breaking at how she could possibly thing he’d feel like that towards her, nothing could be further from the truth. Eventually, he felt her shift a little in his arms and she looked up at him.

“Stevie, can you do something for me?”

“Anything, Sweetheart.” “Will you kiss me? I ain’t had one in a while.” Her lips curled up into a small, hopeful smile and Steve let out a soft chuckle and dipped his head, his nose brushing hers slightly.

“Think I can manage that.” His lips met hers in a gentle peck at first before it became slightly deeper, one arm round her shoulders, the other hand cupping her face gently as hers fisted in his shirt, ignoring the dull pain in her left hand. It was soft, gentle, both of them simply enjoying the first kiss they’d shared since the quick goodbye peck six weeks ago.

“I love you.” He pulled away, pressing his forehead to hers. “Tilt e end of the line.” “Good job.” She smiled, as he wiped away the tears that had trickled down her face. “Seeing as I’m marrying you aint I?”

“Yeah, yeah you are.” Steve’s own face broke into a smile as he lay back and she once more rest her head on his chest, settling herself in his warm embrace.

***** December 2014.

Katie and Steve still took their planned trip to Europe. They’d had to rejig their original schedule slightly as Katie had only been given the all clear with her hand on the 5th December to fly, meaning they had to miss the first week of . But they didn’t care, there was plenty of time to go another time. What they did care about was the fact that they got the time to themselves. Once things had settled down at the tower they’d stepped up the search for the Sceptre, jointly deciding that was their priority. But after the events of the last few months all the Avengers had decided to take down time over the holidays, and post a large, raucous thanksgiving, they’d gone their separate ways for the holidays. Thor heading to be with Jayne, Clint and Natasha to Clint’s family (although only Katie and Steve by-proxy knew that) Bruce had gone to Seoul for a few weeks to help Dr Cho with some research and Tony had whisked Pepper off to the Maldives. Each one of them taking the chance to recover in a sense if you will, from what had been the hardest time they’d had to face as a team so far.

Katie’s hand was still a little stiff but with the physio she was getting there, and was on track to make a full recovery. And the best bit was her big fuck off Tiffany Diamond was back where it belonged. Her bruises were well gone, she had put on most of the weight she had lost (she was still a little too slim for Steve’s liking so he made it his job to feed her as much as possible) and today had been no exception. They arrived early on the Wednesday morning into Bruges, and had wasted no time in dumping their bags and heading out to explore. Their day had been full of snow, hand holding, Christmas treats, beer, long kisses stolen in the large square as they were bundled up in coats, hats and scarves. It was just so fucking normal. 

And they’d never been so grateful for normal before.

Eventually, after a huge meal in a beautiful restaurant tucked away by the side of a canal, they’d headed back to the hotel. And they had every intention of just having one last drink from the mini-bar, led on the bed but things had started to get a little heated. It was the first time that either of them had pushed anything further than kissing since the incident they didn’t talk about, but whether it was the change of scenery or just the romance of being in a hotel room in Europe, surrounded by snow, they had no idea but it felt right, and they both just ran with it.

They undressed each other tenderly and Steve laid Kati down on the bed, and just took his time, making sure he worshiped every single inch of her body he could get his hands on. His fingers traced her slowly re-establishing curves, up her hips to her ribs which were no longer protruding, down to her no longer bruised thighs and across her belly, his lips simply brushing her skin just under her collar bone. He was gentle, and to some it would surprise them how a soldier made during a war to fight could be so soft and tender but Katie knew the man underneath it all and she wasn’t surprised in the slightest at how delicate he was being. He was never anything else when it came to her. What did surprise her however, was that whilst his touch was feather light and barely there she could feel it more than she ever had. It sent red hot fire spiking through her belly, and her heart swelled to the point she thought it would burst. She loved him, loved the way he touched her and felt and yet, underneath the fire there came something else. A sharp stab of fear. Fear, not of him, but fear that when it came to it, her body was going to betray her and do something stupid, involuntary, like make her freeze or lash out, or that it would feel different for either or both of them. Steve paused, his right hand gently hovering by her naval where it had been steadily making its way downwards. She was trembling. Shit. He frowned slightly and looked up to see her watching him, her green eyes shining in the soft, dim light of the room. "Sweetheart,” he said, his voice thick in his throat “if this is too much…” “No.” She replied quickly, “it’s not…” “You’re shaking” he said softly, his hand moving up to softly cup her face as his frown deepened. Was she scared of him? The thought of that was enough to destroy him and just as he was about to say something she laid her hand over his and moved her face softly to the side so she could place a kiss to his palm. And when she spoke, he was once again convinced she could read his damned mind. “These hands would never hurt me."  Not could not, but would not. And she wanted him to understand she knew the difference. "I’m not scared of you Steve. I could never be scared of you…” she swallowed “I’m scared of me.”

His brow creased, he was confused. “I don’t understand.” “I don’t know what my body is gonna do, I’m worried I’m going to react differently to how it used and that it’ll feel different…I can’t explain.” His face softened and he looked at her, pressing his forehead to hers he tried to offer her some reassurance. “I love you.” He drew back to press a kiss to the bridge of her nose “And we’ll take it slow, that is if you still want to.” his nose gently brushed hers as he looked at her “If you don’t then that’s fine, I can wait…we can wait.” “No, I do, I don’t wanna wait.” She shook her head, her lips sweeping across his, drawing a moan from him. “I missed this, being close to you, being with you.” He looked at her again before their lips connected in a soft kiss that grew more urgent, but still stayed tender as they both poured their souls into one another. Steve’s hand gently gripped her hip and she let out a soft moan into his mouth making him pull back slightly, and press his forehead to hers. “I got you, Sweetheart.” He said softly, “I got you…” “I know.” She replied, voice barely a whisper. “You always do.”

His hand gently slid down to her folds, and as his fingers gently began to play she let out a soft gasp at his touch, it felt right, so damned right. He was gently, took his time, watching her carefully as she softly writhed at his touch, and when she begged for him, to feel him, he adjusted himself between her legs and slowly pushed into her. Katie sighed in pleasure, and relief too because it felt like it always had done. 

Steve kept his movements slow, not thrusting but rolling, rocking softly into her over and over again, soft moans and whispers filling the room as her hands gripped round his biceps, his weight gently pressed on top of her, both of them needing to feel the other as they reconnected in the most intimate of ways possible. Katie gently moved her hands, dancing over his broad back, tracing between his shoulder blades feeling each twitch and flex in his muscles as he moved, the familiarity of it was so damned comforting. Steve’s large hands cupped her face as he kissed her, their tongues tangling together and even when he broke the kiss to let out a soft groan he kept his lips on hers, feather light in their touch.

“Katie…” Steve panted into her mouth, his hips continuing their gentle, deep roll into her “I’m not sure how much longer… are you close, baby girl?” She didn’t answer with words, instead he felt her tightening around him, her reactions the same as they always had been, and he gave another groan as she let out a soft whimper. Then, he heard it. The most beautiful sound ever to hit his ears, a sound he had heard so many times before but right there in that opulent hotel room in Belgium, the lights of the city bright and bouncing off the snow through the slight crack in the heavy, deep blue curtains, it sounded so much more sweeter, more significant almost than the first time she had said it.

"Stevie…” his name tumbled from her lips in a whisper and he felt the tears sting his eyes as he nudged her nose with his, making her look at him. She gave another soft moan before she tilted her head back and let out a gentle cry as her back arched and she came, her eyes fluttering shut. It was enough to make him tumble, gently rutting up into her he felt himself go and his movements became disjointed until he collapsed forwards, utterly blissed and consumed by her.

They both took a moment before Steve raised his head to look at her, and saw the gentle shine of a tear fall down her cheek. 

“Are you ok?” He asked, wiping at her face with his thumbs. For one horrible moment he was petrified he had hurt her until he realised she was smiling and nodding. But this wasn’t her usual post orgasm grin, this was a pure, unadulterated happy smile. And then Steve understood, they were tears of joy. “Well I’ve never made anyone cry after sex before.” He quipped, his voice thick with emotion and she spluttered a giggle, sniffing a little as his nose bumped hers before his lips gently mopped up the few stray tears that fell from her sparkling emerald eyes. “I just…” she started to talk but stopped. She couldn’t find the words to explain. Explain how that last 20 minutes or so of him lavishing attention on her, right from that first kiss to taking her to the edge of ecstasy and back had fixed that final part of her that was broken. He had taken the last shards of the fragmented, shitty mess that Hydra left and slotted them back into place. "I’m ok.” She finished, unable to word it any better. "I’m ok.” He gently placed his lips on hers and drew her into a long, gentle kiss, his own tears threatening to fall at those 2 simple words. Ok was lame, she hated it, said it was just a “shit phrase and you should never just be ok” but here he knew what it meant for her to be just be ok. Without a word he rolled off her and took her with him, pulling her so she was led straight on top of him, like they would do on the couch, in front of the TV and she gave a laugh. He pulled the covers up over them and she lay her head on his chest, his fingers lightly dancing up her spine “I love you, Sweetheart.” He said as she gave a hum of contentment “More than apple pie?” She asked and he gave a chuckle, he really had missed this. Their playful banter that came before, during and after the act. “Infinitely” “More than mac and cheese?” He hesitated on purpose and she gave a loud scoff and hit him on the chest. He laughed, rubbing at the spot even though she hasn’t hurt him, giving a soft “ow” as she levelled him with a playful glare. “Is it your mac and cheese?” He asked “because we all know it’s the best damned mac and cheese in the world” “Flattery will get you nowhere, Soldier.” she teased and he chuckled again, as she lay her head back down. “But seeing as I’m in a good mood how about when I get back I make us apple pie AND mac and cheese… and then we can have more sex and you can decide which one is better?” “That sounds like the best idea you have ever had Miss Stark…” They lay there in silence and it wasn’t long before he felt her melt into him, her breathing evened out and he gently glanced down and saw her eyes were shut, her lashes fluttering slightly as she slept. He thought about moving her, setting her down beside him but as her chest rose and fell, pressing into him he decided better of it. 

She could move herself when, or if she wanted to.

And if she didn’t, then that was totally fine by him.

**** Chapter 22

**Original Posting**

[go-dark-turtle]

I will always protect you babe. 

(An Aged up Don Girono x fem reader fanfiction) 

[A while ago @ungaloslovebite took part in the raffle I had going and she won yay~ I apologise this took so long to get around to doing. But here it is. So let's all pretend our name is Ellie. Onwards to the fan fiction.]

2011 was the year you wouldn't ever forget. A young 25 year old Girono was patrolling the streets with his faithful companion Mista. You worked in a convenience shop, part time. You were minding your own business arranging the magazine stand when a group of men came in the shop. 

"Oi lil missy, where is the boss? We need to have a few words with him." The small chubby man rubbed his nails against his chest "Tell him Mr Rob is 'ere would ya doll?" 

"Excuse me but my manager isn't here right now. Is there anything I can help with?" You asked politely knowing it could be trouble. 

"Hey! Don't speak to my boss like that. No answering him back. Go and gets your boss now otherwise..." The tall lanky man beside Mr Rob looked down at you and pulled out his baseball bat. 

He smirked and aimed full swing at the postcard rack behind you, postcards flew everywhere and the rack itself broke into several parts. You screamed and shivered. 

"I'm telling you he stepped out for lunch and he didn't tell me where he was going to be." Your hands trembled. 

Mista and Girono arrived on the spot seeing the damage and you shaking in fear. He marched up to Mr Rob and smacked him into the corner as if the air itself flung him there. 

"You have no right being here, you know this is my turf, you should be ashamed of yourself. A gang of men ganging up on a defenceless woman. If I ever see you around here again I'll make sure NONE of you will live to tell the tale." The young blonde crouched next to Mr Rob and held his face. 

"Of course, you didn't see us, Mr Girono. We, we, were just leaving..." Mr Rob scrambled away but slipped on a postcard. 

"Mista if you please." Girono smirked 

"With pleasure" Mista grinned "Alright you fuckers you have the count of 3 to get out." 

"Oh shit boss! It's Mista legends say he can fire in the open without a gun. Let's get outta here." The other lanky man spoke up as he pushed his boss and ally out the shop. 

The two young men watched as the group of men fled the scene and Girono took your hands in his. 

"I am so sorry about that. Please come with us, don't worry about your boss, we will leave a message for him. I wouldn't want any harm to come to you." Girono spoke with a soft voice

You gasped when you realised who stood before you "Aren't you the Don Girono? Oh my god..." 

"Relax, please I just want to make sure you aren't hurt and to look after you in case those guys come back later. We wish you no harm, miss..." Girono flashed a small smile. 

"My name is Ellie, I appreciate your concern but you scared them off." You looked into his green eyes. 

"They will wait until we leave and come back and cause more trouble so please come with me." He smiled softly. 

A few years later..

After that encounter you and Girono grew closer and got married, you left your job and officially became Mrs Don Girono. everywhere you went with him you felt like a queen everyone was super friendly and you loved every moment of it until..

The present day...

"Listen Ellie I know you don't want me to go but Mr Rob is back and causing more trouble. Please understand I'll be back before you know it. look after the hideout for me babe." He held you in his arms and kissed your forehead. 

"Girono.. but what if you get killed. Please can't you send the police there instead." You looked up to him with teary eyes. 

"The police won't go near him, he owns them. Listen to me, I'll be fine I promise. Just stay here and don't open the door to anyone. I have my key. lock the door behind you." Girono pulled you in for one last hug. 

You clenched your eyes shut as the tears ran down your face and held him tightly petting your head. Kissing the top of your head tenderly. 

"I gotta go. Don't worry I'll be okay." Girono smiled as he waved from the gate and Mista waved from the van. 

You stood by the doorway, you had mixed feelings one the one hand you were happy he could take care of himself but on the other you feared he would get himself hurt or worse dead. 

The hours turned into days as you sat in wait and you couldn't eat or sleep much from the worrying. You clenched your hand to your chest and paced up and down the kitchen. You slammed your hands down on the kitchen counter and burst into tears. 

"Miss Ellie!" Mista shouted from outside "Open the door and help me with Girono!"

You looked outside and sat Mista with the backdoor of the van wide open with a very badly injured Girono. 

"Girono!" You ran out the door down the small garden path.

"Hey hey it's alright he just got a few bumps and scrapes but he's okay." Mista smiled down at you while holding up Girono's upper body. "You don't mind grabbing his legs do you?" 

You wiped the tears from your eyes and gripped his ankles tightly as you began to reverse onto the garden path and into the house. You and Mista gently plopped the injured blonde down. 

"Look I've got some stuff to take care of, I'll call later let me know how he is then. Sorry to leave you like this with no answers." Mista looked down and felt bad he had to leave. 

"Mista please, what happened?" You looked up to him, tears flooding out. 

"All I can say is we sorted Mr Rob and his lil gang for good. Don't worry we worked for the police on this occasion. I just gotta go and give my story for both myself and Girono and in return we have the police on our side. Just do one thing for me Ellie, please look after Girono. He will need a lot of kisses and cuddles to make him feel better." Mista nodded and took his leave. 

The room fell quiet and you stroked his soft blonde hair and he opened his eyes and softly grunted in pain. 

"Ah, I was hoping you wouldn't see me like this." He sighed "You were right but we did go about this in the most peaceful way I could. Don't think what you said didn't hit home, babe." 

"You silly goose, you got injured but I'm just glad you are safe at home with me. Mista told me briefly what had happened. I'm just grateful you are here." You gently rested your head against his chest and wrapped your arms around his shoulders. 

"Ellie... I'm sorry I made you worry, but I did promise I would be okay... well okay-ish." He lightly giggled and gently sat up grunting. 

"Ah here let me take off your shirt and let's see what happened" You held his arms as he sat up.

You gently slid off his shirt and saw the scars and bruises all over his back arms and stomach. Your eyes widened and Girono held your arms and smiled gently. 

"These will heal and in fact there is a little something you can do for me, my love." He requested gently. 

"Of course Girono what can I do?" You held his hands in a heartbeat and kissed them gently. 

He blushed and smiled softly once more "Could you give me a belly rub to make me feel better." 

You nodded and kissed his forehead "Of course my love." 

You gently placed your warm hands on his belly, softly rubbing circles around, he hummed softly and you smiled resting your head on his arm. He closed his eyes and loved that your warm soft hands were making him feel much better. 

"Thank you, I love you so much Ellie." Girono softly whispered in your ear. 

THE END. 

[unprofessional-bard]

Chapter 8 - Truth or Dare

Losing My Religion Series Masterlist

Unprofessional Bard's Masterlist

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Pairing: Joel Miller x Female!Reader/OC

Warnings: A lot of angst and when i say angst...

Summary: The reader is stuck to the hospital bed, healing considerably slow. Her feelings and emotions are scattered all over the place and things are harder without her lover by her side.

Word Count: 2.575

Author's Note: Hey y'all!! I'm terribly sorry this took so long but I was really busy with moving and everything, I honestly had no angst in me to write this chapter bc I'm just so happy that I moved here, but the past few days were a lil exhausting so I finished this while resting... I didn't wanna update with this short ass chapter but I have to update y'all so I separated the chapter into two, I hope y'all still have interest in Losing My Religion, I love you and thank you all for being patient with me! 🥺🥺

Enjoy!

"Be careful!"

The ice under your feet was inches thick, it didn't seem like it'd break, but you didn't trust that: "It's alright, I got this."

The girl didn't wail or scream for help, she anxiously waited for your approach. You held out your hand for her: "Grab my hand, I'm gonna get you across, it's gonna be okay." The girl hesitated but grabbed your hand anyway: "Don't worry, you're not gonna get in trouble, I'm gonna make sure of that."

"Alright, okay," The girl shook her head and followed you with careful steps. Everything was going fine until you reached halfway, when the ice under her feet cracked, making your ears perk up. You snapped your head back to meet her frightened eyes: "Uh..."

"Felicity!" You shouted across the frozen river, catching her attention. With all your strength, you grabbed the kid's coat by the neck.

"Woah, what are you doing?" She grabbed your arm, alerted by your action as the ice cracked more underneath your feet. You pulled her coat's zipper down a little.

"Watch yourself-" You said, grabbed the back of her coat with your other hand, then launched her across the river to where Felicity was; the ice under your feet crushing altogether a second later, swallowing you whole.

Your body reacted to the cold in a panicked way, naturally, but you remembered your training and swam up immediately, calming yourself down. You gasped loudly as soon as your head was out of the water, Felicity calling for you: "You alright?!"

You were too cold to speak, so as your breathing calmed down you gave her a thumbs up instead. Your cold-shock response was better this time as you hadn't swallowed any water, so you spread your arms and started kicking at the water with your feet as soon as you raised them. You calmly but quickly pushed yourself out of the water and onto the ice.

"(Y/N)?!" You heard her shout over to you a couple of times as you breathed, but each time she did, her voice got closer and closer, although she was still on the ground away from you.

"(Y/N)?"

----

"(Y/N)?" You felt a hand on your shoulder, shaking you gently. "Come on Dolly, wake up..."

It was Ellie. You wanted to open your eyes, tell her or move a limb to let her know that ou were awake, but you just couldn't. What the hell?

After a few more seconds, you managed to sigh loudly through your nose: "I think she's waking up, Katherine."

After what felt like an eternity, you woke up in a different room where Ellie, Maria and Tommy were by your side. There were bandages wrapped all over you: Your head, shoulder, chest area, your knee and the same ankle you fractured months ago. One of your eyelids was lower than the other.

"You look like a mummy," Ellie chuckled softly as you examined yourself. You nodded but didn't speak, your throat hurt terribly.

"Could you give us a minute?" Tommy cleared his throat as you gained better consciousness with each passing second. You watched the girls leave the room and Tommy pull his chair to your side: "How're you feelin'?"

"Like shit," You whispered and sighed. "At least it doesn't hurt too bad- for now, anyway."

"Yeah, Katherine and Daisy are taking care of you just fine..." Tommy put his hand on yours and gave it a light squeeze. "You're gonna be okay, but it's gonna take some time."

"No shit," You smiled bitterly.

"Joel wants to see you," Tommy pursed his lips, pulling his hand away. "He's been worried sick- Ellie says she saw him leavin' the house with bloodshot eyes..."

Your heart broke at his comment and your face scrunched up, feeling terribly nauseous with this new information: "Is he here?"

"He's outside the room," Tommy spoke and got up. "Look, I know I don't get to have a say in this but... He'd never do anything to hurt you- especially on purpose. He loves you."

Your eyes teared up and breath got stuck in your throat as he turned around and left, then you distantly heard something he said to Joel and waited for the long awaited confrontation between you and your lover.

----

Joel immediately got up from the chair he was sitting on right before Tommy came out of your room, looked at his brother intently: "She needs some time, but she'll come around."

Tommy patted Joel on the shoulder after his comment and walked away from him, leaving you two be. He took a deep breath and slowly, almost gently, got in the room, closing the door behind him: "Hey..."

"Hey," You whispered. The lack of emotion and the abundance of red and purple bruises on your face crushed Joel.

"Did Ellie ever tell you how we met?"

Joel was surprised at the question: "No, she didn't."

You chuckled, which at first helped him relax a little, but you coughed afterwards and Joel was back to worrying. He sat down on Tommy's previous spot silently as you leaned back on your pillow and spoke: "There was a student gone missing from the QZ... We tracked her down to this lake but it was frozen and she was standing right in the middle of all that ice. I went over to her but the ice decided to crack then. I got her out but I fell-" Joel's expression broke your heart furthermore. "I had training of course and it wasn't my first time falling into icy water... That's how we met- and began getting along, I guess."

Joel nodded and smiled softly, face riddled with pain, tiredness, fear and relief all at the same time; you turned your head towards him and asked: "Is there anything else I should know, Joel?"

He knew damn well what that meant, even though he'd never seen this side to you. It reminded him of his ex-wife for a brief moment, before speaking: "Yeah... actually there is one more thing, but if I'm honest?"

"Hm?"

"... I don't got the stomach to tell you."

"Why not?" You were genuinely stressed out and confused now. What could be worse than what you two just went through?

"I've realised now that ah-" Joel looked away, a hand brushing past his watch in the process. "I kept it from you for too long... I- I should've told you earlier-"

"Told her what earlier?" The younger Miller suddenly appeared by the doorway, leaning on it. Joel gave Tommy a grave look, the one he gave him when he told his younger brother how he had saved Ellie - it made Tommy immediately understand what was going on, his face going slightly pale.

Joel suddenly got up and as he made his way over to where his brother was, you called out for him with your weak voice: "Joel?!"

He gave you one last look, before looking down and walking past Tommy. Were those tears in his eyes-?

"What the hell is going on, Tommy?" You sighed, exasperated.

Tommy stared at you for a while, not knowing what to say, then slowly closed the door: "It ain't gonna be pretty, (Y/N), but if you ain't too tired, let's talk huh?"

Your muscles tensed at his words, but despite how bad you wanted to rest you were dying with curiosity to know exactly what the hell happened that made the brothers' tails go between their legs. Tommy pulled a chair to your left and sat down. He was also tense, he didn't sit like he usually does - like the Texan he was. He gulped, searched for the right words, then sighed and began: "I thought Joel would've told you this, but it seems not."

"For fuck sake, Tommy," You sighed, then a wheeze and a cough followed. "Just spit it out."

"'Kay, okay... The reason why Joel never really told you what happened on his journey with Ellie after they dropped you off here- it's ugly. Joel's ashamed, I guess he didn't want you to think badly of him-"

"But he told you?"

"Yes." Tommy crossed his arms. "What did he tell you exactly - about their journey I mean?"

"He said the Fireflies stopped looking for a cure - that there were a bunch of immune people and that they ran a couple of tests with Ellie and then let them go... I didn't really believe it. At first I did, I think- I trusted his word and didn't really wanna push it, but then I thought: If there were a bunch of other immune people, surely someone would've made the vaccine over the course of the twenty something years we went through - or at least the last two... but here we are."

Tommy nodded: "The reason for that is because Ellie's the only one."

"I figured that much."

"They were going to make a vaccine too, but when Joel found out it'd cost Ellie's life to make one... He uh-" Tommy took a deep breath, he was struggling to put the words together: "He didn't let them kill her."

You just stared, processing it all. You blinked a couple of times, then spoke: "He didn't let them make a vaccine."

"Remember what I told you- about Sarah?" Tommy's tone came off shaky.

You nodded and he continued: "I guess I was right... He came to care a great deal about Ellie apparently. Probably felt like he was with Sarah again while travelling with her, so..."

You didn't know how to feel - the only two solid thoughts in your mind clashed agaisnt one another in a great battle:

I can't believe he was selfish enough to rob humanity of it's only chance at survival.

Versus,

I understand. I probably would've done the same thing if I were him. Probably.

"Does Ellie know?" You breathed, feeling a little dizzy.

"No."

You gulped and looked down, guilt washing over you like a tidal wave: "Have you... I mean, is the doctor-"

"He's dead," Tommy murmured. "We don't know if there's anyone else out there who could make a vaccine out of her."

You were actually struggling to breathe at this point, looking around in a panicked state: "You need to tell Ellie."

"No, (Y/N)," Tommy spoke in a clear and strict tone. You were about to argue, but he added: "It's not our place to tell her... Joel asked for this, he is gonna be the one to tell her."

You were breathing through your mouth with a grave and distressed look on your face, staring at Tommy: "Please, (Y/N). She can't know."

You knew that was the end of conversation, so you laid down and tried to calm your breathing, closing your eyes and interrupting Tommy when he tried to ask if you needed help: "Just leave, Tommy."

You didn't see it, but he nodded and got up, letting you fall into a long sleep.

----

You had a lot of visitors for five long days, but neither of the Miller Brothers paid you a visit in that period of time. Well, Tommy showed up briefly with Maria from time to time but you weren't upset with him and it took him three days to understand, after reassuring him.

Ellie visited the most: Twice a day - once before patrol (usually in the morning) and once after. When she didn't have any chores, she'd visit you at night as well. You mostly talked about the other kids in town she was friends with, she'd treat you like a journal and vent or rant to you, which you really valued and appreciated ever since you found out about what Joel had done.

One morning she had asked about you and Joel, after a long time of not asking.

"So..." Her arms were crossed while she sat by your bed, her guitar against the desk on the other side of the room. "You and Joel... Have you guys figured things out yet?"

"He hasn't visited me in four days," You groaned, mood going down almost instantly when you remembered how he left you with Tommy five days ago. "I don't want him to... I want to talk to him when my healing processes, but it doesn't."

"How do you mean?" Ellie gave you a quizzical look.

"Katherine said some of the wounds she pointed out would turn some other colour and that a few things I'm feeling around my body would go away by this time, but they haven't. It's been almost a week and I'm not healing."

"You were beaten up pretty badly, (Y/N)," Ellie tried to look for an explanation to relax you. "Katherine did say it'd take some time."

You remained quiet for a moment, looked down, then spoke: "Five more days and you'll see what I'm talking about."

Ellie was confused and didn't know what to say, so you continued: "I've had bruises worse than this," You pointed at your half swollen eye. "Even they healed quicker than this."

There was an awkward silence, the realisation of Joel not visiting you a hard punch in the gut. As much as you weren't ready to confront him with your exhausted state, you still loved him and you wondered about his wellbeing. You felt like a five year old child crossing her arms and pouting while stomping her foot aggressively on the ground when she's denied a lollipop. You wanted to cry like the said child and hammer your fists against Joel's chest without hurting him. You wanted to do so many things, confronting and forgiving your lover being the first and foremost, but you just weren't ready. You weren't ready and you were frustrated and angry - traumatised and stressed and depressed, you wanted at least one of these to ease up a little but most importantly you didn't want to be on pain relievers anymore. You were asleep most of the day and didn't want to talk to anyone at the times where you weren't, except for Ellie really.

You closed your eyes and sighed, tears forcing their way out of your closed eyelids and dropping on the sheets: "Els?"

"I'm here," Ellie replied equally quietly.

"Will you sing me to sleep, darling?" You requested, voice cracking a little as you laid down, eyes still closed.

"Of course mom," She murmured and grabbed her guitar. After settling down in her seat and thinking of what to play for a while, she started strumming her guitar:

"When does it get quiet?

Time was supposed to extinguish the desire

But the embers won't snuff out

Haunted by your smiles

The mask keeps getting heavier

One step forward, two steps back

There's a noose round my neck and the further I get

It's harder and harder to breathe

Can I find a way to cut the rope?

I've been waiting for dawn

But the light is all gone

Don't know if I'm already blind

Can I leave it all behind?"

...

Joel watched and listened through the doorway as Ellie sang to your sleeping form, not being aware of the small confrontation which was going to take place in a few hours. A sad expression was present on his daughter's face, bringing tears to his eyes as he, once again, walked away from the two of the three people he loved the most.

[miss-dr-reid]

This is calm, and it's, Doctor #9

TW, there is some DV in here and a hospital visit.

As we pulled into the street where the icecream shop is, I saw someone I recognised and my stomach churned. It was my ex. I hadn't told anyone at work about him, yet.

"What's up?" Derek asked. I didn't even realise I had gone stuff until I breathed, glancing at Derek quickly.

"My ex.. he's over there with a mate..." I said quietly, looking in the direction of the one person I hoped to never see again.

"We don't have to get icecream of you don't want." He reassured, placing his hand on my upper arm, rubbing lightly with his thumb.

"No- um- actually... I have a plan. I'll need you guys to help though, if that's okay?" I devised a plan with the boys after finding a park. They both willingly agreed, eager to help out a friend with some pretty revenge.

I got out of the cat and headed to the icecream shop, where my ex was, sitting at a table outside of it. As I got closer, he made a comment, just as I expected.

"Damn, Y/N, you want me back that bad you followed me all the way out here?" Cain retorted, tapping his mate on the arm.

"Well no, actually. Last I heard of you was from the girl you cheated on me with. She told me you kept yelling my name while you guys did the dirty in OUR bed." I clapped back. I whipped my hair behind my shoulders, signalling the boys, I knew what I said would run Cain the wrong way.

He pushed himself up, to get out of his chair when Derek's hand pressed him back down by his shoulder, Spencer's arm draping over one of my shoulders.

"Is there a problem here?" Derek said, staring straight in to Cain's eyes, his mate shifting uncomfortable in his seat.

Cain was not a big guy by any means, bigger than me, but tiny next to Derek.

"Who are you, her boyfriend?" Cain demanded, basically a spitting in Derek's face.

"I'm more to her then you'll ever be. If you cause her any more trouble, I'll make you regret everything you've ever done to her. I can promise you that." Derek's voice stern and low, his grip tightening slightly on Cain's shoulder.

Seeing Cain so uncomfortable was quite pleasing. He didn't say anything, Derek squeezed his shoulder one last time before nodding, releasing him and walking over to us, linking elbows with me. We walked inside the shop and everyone let go. I thanked both of the guys and insisted on paying for icecream, as a thanks for helping me out.

They insisted it was no big deal, defending their family is what they do. I loved hearing that o was becoming part of the B.A.U family.

I ordered the icecream, paid and we each connected our own and headed back toward the car. We sat on the curb, eating our delicious desserts. We didn't say much, just sat and ate. I felt so small sitting between these two guys. I was so happy to just be there with them.

Suddenly, I was going face first into my icecream, which was splattered all over the side of my car as a sudden jolt came through my back. I didn't realise what had happened. I could hear Derek yelling as hands supported my head while I laid back. Spencer's voice filled my ears as everything went dark.

I woke up, rocking slightly. I monitor beeping and people talking. I tried to open my eyes, but my eyelids were so heavy, they felt glued. My hand felt funny, I tried moving it and discovered that it was encased by another hand. I squeezed as hard as I could.

"Y/N!" Spencer's voice filled my ears once again. I managed to half open my eyes, softly smiling up at him. "We're on the way to the hospital. Your ex kicked you while we were eating icecream and Derek chased after him." His voice soft and full of concern.

'Now I owe them double, of not triple for the shit they've dealt with today' I thought to myself, forever grateful that these two are in my life.

We arrived at the hospital not long later. Spencer wasn't allowed in for the x-ray, so he was left in the waiting room. After the x-ray was done, I was moved to a room. After a few minutes, a doctor came in, Spencer in toe, who stood next to the doctor, listening to his every word.

"You'll need to be careful with your nose over the next week, it's broken. Otherwise, your head and spine are fine and you'll be able to go after you've been patched up and kept for observation." He removed the c-collar from my neck and sat the bed up, "A nurse will be in soon to fix your nose." And with that, he left.

Spencer sat in the chair next to the bed and handed me his phone with the camera open.

I took it and looked at myself. I was a mess. There was crusted blood staining under my nose, around my nostrils and mouth.

"This is going to look so bad tomorrow." I said quietly to myself. Even though there wasn't much of a bruise right now, the second day is always worse. Spencer sighed at my comment as I say there still checking myself out. The phone started vibrating, Derek's name popping up on the screen.

"You're on speaker, Mr. Hero." I said to the phone.

"Hey buddy, it's good to hear your voice," he started, "I'll be there in a minute. Just finished giving my statement to the police. I'm see you soon. Also, I told the rest of the team and they're also coming. See you soon, kiddo." He hung up.

The doctor came back with a nurse. Spencer was allowed to stay for the packing and fixing of my nose. The laid the bed back, Spencer on one side of me, the doctor in front of him and the nurse on the other side. Being laid out in front of people touching me made me feel so uneasy, I didn't realise I was tense until Spencer placed his hand on my shoulder.

"Stay as still as you can, this will be quite uncomfortable." The doctor mentioned, and the nurse picked up some gauze off the tray they'd brought in. I grabbed Spencer's hand off my shoulder and held it in mine. I closed my eyes and breathed out through my nose as one set of fingers pressed on the bridge of my nose while gauze was being stuffed up my nostrils. The nurse finished up and I breathed out deeply, I had become so tense while being under her hands that my whole body had basically seized. They sat up the bed and left, going to organise my discharge papers.

Almost as soon as they had left, the whole teamed walked in. Everyone had looks of concern on their faces, giving my sympathetic smiles. Spencer stood up and moved away as Garcia was making her way over to me.

"You gave us a scare, chook." She said, pulling me into a hug. JJ came down the other side of the bed and pulled me into a hug once Garcia had let go. She offered me a wet wipe, which I graciously accepted. I carefully wiped the bottom of my nose and around my lips, trying to remember where the blood had crusted on my face.

"As much good as they do, it wouldn't hurt to clean up a little bit..." She commented, seeing the stained blood on various parts of my face.

"Glad to see you're alright." Emily called from her spot between Hotch and Derek.

I thanked everyone and tried out my most convincing smile, which only got sympathy smiles in return.

"You wouldn't be okay if Pretty Boy was there. He caught your head before you fell back onto the concrete." Derek commended, gesturing at Spence, who's face started glowing red. I mustered up the best thanks I could for him, I was genuinely grateful. "Although, someone had to chase the bad guy...." Derek continued, detailing about what happened.

He told us that I was kicked in the back of the head, my icecream being thrown onto the side of my car, with my face following - thinking back, I remember the crunch my nose made when my face slammed into the side of my car.

HE told us that he immediately dropped his own icecream to jump up and start chasing the guy who had decided to leg it (not surprised). He chased the guy into an alley, yelling at him to stop.

'Stop! FBI!' he had shouted. The guy had managed to get himself cornered and stupidly turned to Derek and tried to fight him. Derek recognised the guy as Cain. As a punch was thrown, Derek dodged, grabbed Cain and pushed him to the ground, holding him there until police arrived.

Hearing the story, I was surprised to hear Cain didn't pull a knife out, it was his go-to weapon of choice. I was happy to hear he was finally arrested. After some more questions, Hotch went home to be with Jack.

The doctor came back with the papers and I was allowed to go. Even though I insisted that I was fine to drive, no one was letting that happen. I also had to have someone stay with me for the night, to make sure everything was alright, apparently. JJ couldn't, she had her family. Derek insisted he was busy with 'things'. Garcia had to get back to Kevin, Emily to Sergio, which left Spencer. It was agreed that he would drive me home in my car, and we had to take Derek back to his car on our way.

~

I felt weird climbing into the passenger seat of my own car. It was nighttime and it made me wonder,

"How long was I out for?" I quizzed, really wanting to know.

"If I had to guess, I'd say like ten minutes." Derek guessed.

"More like twelve minutes and thirty-seven seconds. I was timing to the paramedics." Spencer's voice matter-of-fact. I thanked him for being there for and with me the whole time, and both of them for dealing with everything today.

"I just don't understand how you could let anyone treat you that way, let alone date it." Spencer scoffed, "I've seen the scars you've got, I'm guessing aren't from 'accidents', they show when you're vulnerable, which isn't your fault at all, it actually shows just how trusting you are, which is great, but obviously can get you into trouble if you're not careful. What I'm trying to say is, vulnerabilities need to be taken care of, trust needs to be earned and time heals all wounds." he finished.

"Love also heals" Derek added.

I had tears stinging the corners of my eyes, Trying to escape.

Spencer pulled in to the car park of the Cafe we had been at earlier that day and pulled up in the spot next to Derek's car.

Derek got out and stood next to my door, I rolled my window down. He caressed the back of my head and guided it towards him, leaning over to kiss the top of my head.

"Take care of yourself." His head lifted to look at Spence, "And each other." he finished before turning to get into his own car, leaving to go home.

Spencer didn't move, he just sat in silence.

"What's wrong?" I asked, tilting my head to the side.

"I don't know where you live." He said, giving me puppy dog eyes.

With a giggle, I directed him towards my place. He stopped in front of his place on the way so he could grab a few things, ready to spend the night at mine. He insisted that I go in with him, because he's 'not allowed' to leave me alone.

"Doctors orders. That's me, I'm the doctor." He laughed at me, finding himself amusing.

"Well, I'm also a doctor, doctor, and I said no such thing. But if you insist, I'll come in with you." I said climbing out of the car, he followed and we went inside up to his place.

We walked in to his apartment and I sat on a stool at the bench, so I didn't get comfy.

Spencer wandered off to his room to pack. I pulled out my phone to see some missed calls and a few messages from a number I didn't recognise. I unlocked my phone and opened the messages from the unknown number.

'ur gonna pay 4 wot u did to Cain' Read the first one.

'u dum bitch' read another, the next few that followed were along the same lines.

When Spencer came out, I showed him the messages, not because I was scared, but because I didn't want to keep secrets. It's also probably a good idea to have as many people as possible know, in case anything were to happen. He sighed, reading the messages. He cupped my face with both hands and looked my in the eyes.

"Y/N, nothing is going to happen to you. Even if we have to have someone with you all day and all night. We, the team, will keep you safe - I'll do it by myself if I have to." he pulled my head against his chest and cuddled me, seeing the tears which had started pooling in my eyes. I let the tears come out, my body was gently shaking as I quietly sobbed into Spencer's chest, "You're okay. You're safe with us."

I cried, thanking him, wrapping my arms around his waste. He rubbed my back for a bit before placing his hands on my shoulder, pulling back a bit. His hands were firm, but gentle, he came down to my eye level. His eyes were so warm and welcoming, I admired all of his face while he was there.

He suggested leaving, and his hands trailed down my arms, to my hands. He took my hand in his and I hopped off the stool, following his footsteps to the door.

Not much was said on the car ride to my place. I didn't bother with the radio, only looking out the window, watching everything pass by, giving directions when necessary.

We finally arrived. I have a stand-alone house, on the outskirts of town. Spencer pulled into the driveway and got out. He rushed around to my door and opened it, just as I had started to. He helped me out and draped his arm around my shoulder as we headed inside.

OMG guys, I am so bad at keeping updated