#sarah thread;

[savingthrcw]

@honorhearted Ben x Sarah

The first part of the assignment was nothing new to Sarah: play girlfriend with a coworker so they'd both be able to infiltrate a company and obtain the necessary intel. Even so, sharing a house long-term and inviting people in to become a part of the community would require a certain amount of coordination, they couldn't improvise like on a regular mission. The second part was something that hadn't been disclosed to Tallmadge yet, and wouldn't be until they were sure they could proceed: pretending to be in love with the whole world including the CIA so that they could find the rest of the traitors, if Benjamin Tallmadge didn't turn out to be one of them. But Sarah knew, being one of the few people director Graham knew he could truly count on, and that meant they'd need to be even more prepared.

So after the director was done explaining the situation to her colleague, who was now in her team, Sarah waited for them to be alone so she could breach the subject. "Before we go packing, let's discuss the details of this mission," she suggested coolly, "If we are meant to act as a couple who has recently moved in together, we can't risk appearing uncomfortable with one another. We should know what to expect and what our boundaries are."

"How familiar are you with this type of cover? Do you already have a set of rules?"

[savingthrcw]

Sarah was lost, if only for a moment, in the memory of what her baptism of fire had been. Her red test, her first murder, and a cold blooded one at that. She swallowed, eyes on Winn's desk without actually seeing it, and then, with a blink, she was back. "The CIA isn't any different, but I am," she assured him firmly, and knew Winn would never know how seriously she took that duty, especially since she had no intention of letting Winn go through what she had. No one like him should. "You are my responsibility as far as I'm concerned, and I won't leave you without a backup. I think you have the skills to do it even without me... but I'll be there. Can you trust me on that?"

Sarah was patient with him, which Winn appreciated. He knew that it wasn't exactly their favorite arrangement, for him to be going out in the field like this. The assignment called for someone with his skillset, and Winn wanted a chance to prove that he could do a little more than sit behind a computer. Even if he was terrified to do so.

"That's very sweet of you, and I think you have a point. But a lot of employers use the 'baptism by fire' method to train their employees and something tells me that the CIA isn't any different. I mean, what better way to make sure I can do the job than just throwing me into it and making sure I can do the job."

[medievalthymes]

if anyone was wondering how my read of the liveship trader series is going… it’s… uh going

EDIT: UPDATE for when i got to THAT part (I literally started pacing around the house i could not handle it)

[tanadrin]

Apparently there is cattle ranching in the Aleutian Islands (which are about the latitude of Ireland for comparison—it’s not a crazy idea). During the summer they eat grass; in the winter, storms wash tons of kelp onto the beaches and they eat kelp. Only sometimes those same storms wash cows *off* the beaches. Cows float pretty well, making them a prime source of food for the local orcas, who have learned that if they hang around these beaches sometimes they get hamburger for dinner.

[acourtofquestions]

Night Court Edition Addition of This or That

[p-redux]

Follow up to #samarah aka the two SH's aka Sam Heughan and Sarah Holden...

Thanks Team for the multiple DMs here and on X/Twitter letting me know that Sarah is posting she is back home in Scotland with her son. Even though she posted part of his face, I'm choosing not to since he's a minor, and I don't need the drama from my haters.

👇

And Sam posted from Austria 👇

As someone pointed out in DM, if Sam's recent trip to the Canary Islands had been a work or charity trip, he would have tagged he was there, but he did not. He is tagging his Austrian location, but he didn't tag his Canarian location...because it was a personal trip. And we know there is proof positive he was staying WITH Sarah Holden. More on that later...

One of the Team also pointed out to me that on the new social media app, Threads, Sam is ONLY following 16 people and Sarah Holden is one of them! AND she is the ONLY woman he is following on there. 👇

Threads is linked to your Instagram account. When you sign up for Threads it asks you if you want to import all your follows from Instagram. Sam didn't do that. He follows 2,911 people on Instagram. If he had clicked on Import your Instagram follows, he would be following those same 2,911 on Threads. But he didn't do that, he CHOSE who he wanted to follow on Threads...and Sarah Holden is 1 of the 16 accounts he manually chose. The last time he posted on Threads was 13 weeks ago. So, he doesn't use Threads very often. Make of it what you will.

Sadly, I have to get ready for a dental procedure. I won't be back for a few hours. But when I return, I'll post more info that I don't have time to compile and post now. But I'm finding this SH SH #samarah romance verra interesting. Could Sam have found something special with a Scottish lass who is also a mum to a wee lad? I do love me a good plot twist. Stay tuned...

[theha1rarch]

"She's My Mother, But She Has Never Been a Mother."

aka pluto wrote a six page (literally the doc is six pages long) long emotionally shattering drabble involving steve, patricia, technically the winchesters, & too many fucking feelings

i gotta tag the fam in this bc a) y'all are involved, & b) trust me - you wanna read this sorry it's so damn long though ... @milleroptimism @wantdead @patchedstars @dgrayd @lilyspaintedred @littletavpole

steve knows this might be a bad idea, that he might end up regretting agreeing to this - but his mother had insisted, had insisted and insisted that she just wanted to talk to steve privately before she left and so - after telling everyone else it’d be fine. he’d be fine. they’d gone to a private room in the house and now …

here they are. sitting across from each other, neither of them have said a word so far but steve isn’t as nervous as he could be, isn’t as afraid. if this had been his father, that might be a different story. but it’s his mother, here in the place he feels the safest, and he can do this.

he looks to her, deciding to take the first step and the be the one to speak. “so, mom -” and doesn’t that word just feel weird to use. heavy and bitter on his tongue when it’s in reference to the woman across from him. because she’s not his mom. his mom is in the next room over. “what did you want to talk to me about?”

patricia is quiet for a moment, before she seems to gather herself and offers steve a small smile, crossing her hands in her lap. “steve, darling, come home with me. please?”

it’s steve’s turn to be quiet for a moment, before he swallows - licking his lips and then speaking. looking directly at her once more. “why should i?”

patricia blinks back at him and he can tell, he can just tell she’s holding herself back. probably from calling him out for his ‘attitude’. “what do you mean, dear?”

“why -” steve starts. “should i go home with you? genuinely tell me, i want to know why.”

“well because i - we miss you, and we want you home with us. so we can be together again, we’re a family and it��s where you belo -”

but she doesn’t even get the chance to fully get her sentence out before steve is laughing. straight up fully laughing in her face.

and once again patricia doesn’t say anything. just abruptly cuts herself off, snaps her mouth shut and tightens her hands in her lap. it’s once again obvious she’s holding herself back.

after steve is finished laughing, he gives a little shake of his head as his gaze settles to her once more. “well, first of all, you don’t gotta lie to me, mom.”

“w-what?” is asked, her tone pinched - body wound so tight steve’s surprised she doesn’t hurt herself.

he rolls his eyes now, letting out a sigh. “you don’t want me home because you miss me or because you want me there. you want me home so you and dad don’t gotta go back to an empty house and worry about the neighbors talking when i’m not with you.”

patricia uncrosses her hands now, leans forward in her seat a little as her face takes on an almost desperate expression. “no, steve, dear, that’s not true. that’s not at all why, we - that … that’s not important.” she tries for another smile, a little shake of her head.

steve is quiet for a moment once again, before -. “if it’s not true and it really is because you miss me then where the hell have you been for the past several months?”

this time he doesn’t get an answer at all. this time she just quiets again, saying nothing - having the decency for once in her life to almost look ashamed.

steve lets out a little scoff, shaking his head once more. “yeah, that’s what i figured. i’m not fucking coming home, mom.”

patricia looks back up at him now, doesn’t even admonish him for his language and she once again looks desperate. “steve, dear, please. don’t do this. i promise we can change, we’ll try and be better.” 

it takes everything in steve not to start laughing again, but he does give another scoff - raising a brow. “right, yeah, sure, okay. like i haven’t heard that before.”

of course she looks confused now, of course she does. “what? when? what are you talking about, darling?”

she’s never used this many pet names for him one sitting, he can’t help but absentmindedly note before he answers her. “how about when i was ten and we were leaving the er after your husband gave me my first ever concussion? i’ve had four more since then, by the way. but i’m sure you knew that. just like you know i can’t hear out of my left ear, right? or … how about when i was twelve and was terrified out of my mind because there was a storm shaking the whole damn house and i was completely alone and i called your hotel crying. and after your husband yelled at me on the phone for fifteen minutes for bothering you so late, you came on and said those exact words … promised me you’d be home tomorrow … and you didn’t come home for three weeks after. still don’t like storms, by the way. or the dark, for that matter. or how about any of the million times i almost died over the past several years but you were never there but you sure as hell could make empty promises … or how about when i graduated from fucking high school and you weren’t there. and you were so quick to try to reassure me with those damn words … until you found out i didn’t get into college. then all you and your husband cared about was telling me how much of a disappointment i was to you. how about any of those times?”

patricia is quiet for a lot longer this time, several long minutes past and steve is about ready to just get up and walk away - ready for this conversation to be over, not expecting her to actually try any longer before … “steve. i - … i’m sorry you feel this way. but - i - this … you can’t stay here, steve. this isn’t right. these people, they aren’t actually your family. you hardly know them. that - woman out there. she doesn’t know you, she didn’t birth you. and she … she’s got so many other children, do you really think she can give you the attention you deserve?”

and steve, steve just stares at her - stares long and hard at the woman across from him, almost as if he can’t believe her. and honestly, he kind of really can’t. he didn’t think they could surprise him any more - but apparently he was wrong. “yes, i do.” he finally answers, his words slow and deliberate - as if he’s explaining something very complicated to her. “because she’s given me more attention in the past several months than you’ve given me my whole. entire. life.”

this time it’s patricia who lets out a scoff, throwing her hands up in the air. “i sincerely doubt that’s true.” and she’s clearly not holding back anymore.

and if she isn’t, then steve isn’t. “like hell it’s not.” he says, shaking his head and hating the way he can hear the anger in his tone.

“steve … come on now. stop acting like this. why are you being so …” and she trails off a little, suddenly as if she’s holding herself back again.

but steve, steve’s done with that. he’s done with the pretending. “so what, mom?”

“so unfair to me.”

and that. that’s it. that’s the trigger, that’s what lights the fuse in steve that’s been there since they sat down for this conversation and before he can really think of it - he’s on his feet, standing, almost looming over her.

“i’m being unfair to you? i’m being unfair to you? you’re kidding me, right? like you’re actually fucking kidding me?” and he knows his voice is rising in volume, he knows it might not be long before this conversation ends up a little more public than it’s meant to - but truly he can’t bring himself to care right now.

“no!” and his mom doesn’t seem to care any longer either. “no! i’m not kidding! you’re acting ridiculous, steve. and i truly don’t understand why. i don’t understand why you’re being this way. this isn’t how we raised you.”

“you didn’t fucking raise me at all!” and yeah, he’s definitely yelling by now. “so don’t even start on that shit. but, you wanna know why i’m acting like this? why i’m apparently being so unfair to you? because i - i’m fucking tired! i’m so fucking tired of you! and dad! and all your bullshit!” and he’s angry, he’s so angry right now his hands are shaking as he slides them through his hair - tugging hard. “i - i spent my whole life. my whole entire fucking life, from the time i was literally a child, thinking that i deserved everything you did to me. the way you treated me. maybe at first i thought it was normal, maybe at first i thought that just how parents were, but once i realized it wasn’t … i thought it was me. i thought there had to be something wrong with me, that there was some fucked up part of me that made it impossible for you guys to love me, to treat me normal, or whatever.”

he takes a second to pause, and he’s still angry - but all that age-old hurt is cropping up fast and now he’s trying really hard not to cry. he takes in a deep breath and slowly lets it out, patricia isn’t saying a word. she’s just sitting there. watching him. “but then, but then i came here. and i met these people, and that woman out there who you wanna shit talk so badly, and never once have they made me feel that way. never once have they made me feel like there’s something wrong with me, like i’m fucked up or broken or something. since the beginning, all they’ve shown me is love. like that unconditional type shit. even when they didn’t know me very well yet. and the thing is, they don’t have to. like you wanted to point out - sarah, my mom, didn’t birth me. but she still loves me like she did, she still loves me like it’s as easy and natural as breathing. like … like …” you were supposed to, it isn’t said out loud - but he knows she understands - if the look on her face is anything to go by.

she’s still quiet though, still not saying a word. so once again, steve continues - the attempt at not crying only growing more difficult - especially as he thinks on these next words. “there … there’s a little girl here. that lives here. with us. and … she’s the same age that i was when i first asked myself what was wrong with me. why i couldn’t just … make you guys care. why was i so messed up that my own parents didn’t even want to be around me and … the thing is, no one here would ever let her feel that way. no one here would ever let her think there was something wrong with her - i … even if she did, we’d do our best to make sure she knew it was the furthest thing from the truth. and i just - i look at her, and i think about that, and i … of course we wouldn’t. because she’s - she’s just a little kid. and i … i was just a little kid.” and now … now the tears are falling, now it’s hard to hold them back any more. even if he’s trying his damndest to ignore them.

“and i just …” he sits back down in his seat now, wiping at his face - letting out another shaky breath. “i just don’t get it. i don’t get how you could do that to me, how you could treat me that way. i was just a little kid. i’d never fucking do that to her. and i just …” he shakes his head again. “i’ll never understand it, but - i know i didn’t deserve it. i might not have known that years, or even months, ago but i know that now. i never deserved any of it. because i was just a kid, and i didn’t do anything. except exist. and that pissed you off for some reason.”

he’s not crying any more now and he fully straightens up once more, finds himself fully facing her once again. “so no. i’m not coming home - though that place isn’t my home anyways - with you. i’m not going to leave just so things can go back to the way they’ve always been. so i can see you for three days before you’re taking off again. and then i’m stuck once again wondering why i wasn’t enough. no. i won’t go back to there. i won’t do that shit again. because i don’t deserve that. i deserve better than that. i deserve to be here. so i’m staying here. this is where i belong.”

if he thought patricia had been quiet for a long time before, it’s nothing compared to now. the two of them sit in silence as the minutes stretch on - staring at each other, but this time steve waits. he waits to see if he’ll actually get a response.

and finally, finally - after maybe a little too long, she gives a little nod and opens her mouth. “alright, steve. alright. clearly nothing that i say will make you come hom - come back with me, so alright. if this is where you want to be, then i can’t really stop you anyways. you’re of age. so, i guess that will be that. i’ll talk to your father, don’t worry.” she gives another little nod as if to confirm this.

and there’s a lot more steve wants to say, more he wants to ask. there’s a part of them that wants to question, that wants to beg her to actually address anything else he said. to actually pretend for once that maybe she cared, just a little bit. that maybe his words actually had any impact on her. that maybe, just once, she actually felt ashamed for the way she let him grow up. but, he has a feeling that won’t them anywhere anyways. because really, there’s no point in trying anymore.

“okay. so … are we done here then?” and he simply gets a nod in response. “okay, i’ll show you out then.”

and he rises in his seat again, she does as well - he guides her out of the room and as they cross into the next - into the others - he can feels eyes on them. on him. but he doesn’t stop, he doesn’t look, he doesn’t say anything - just continues to guide her to the front door. and once they reach it, he stops - opening it to let her out.

“well, i guess this is goodbye …” he starts, trailing off and when he faces her, there’s an expression on her face, that he can’t quite place. she gives another little nod now. “yes, i suppose it is.” she says, but it seems like there’s something holding her back - like she’s not ready to leave quite yet.

and he’s about to question it, about to ask what’s up, figure out why she’s stalling - when suddenly she’s stepping towards him and instinctively he tenses, unsure what is about to happen … when he feels arms wrapping around him. her arms.

he blinks several times, not sure how to process this. process the fact, that for the first time in his life, his mother is actually hugging him. actually hugging him, a full, real, hug, her arms wrapped completely around him, her warmth fully against him. and … well, he can’t quite help the way he ultimately reacts. as his eyes flutter shut, as he wraps his own arms back around her - and for a moment, for just a moment, he’s not nineteen years old, for just a moment he’s that little kid that wanted nothing more than a hug like this from his mom.

“i’m sorry.” and steve almost doesn’t believe it’s actually coming from her mouth, wouldn’t believe it if it wasn’t so close to his ear. “i’m sorry i wasn’t a good mother to you. i’m sorry i wasn’t the mother that you deserved.”

and those damn tears are threatening to fall once more. “thank you.” is what he breathes out, and it’s almost like a sigh of relief, and he can’t help the way he hugs her harder.

they stay like that for a few more seconds, before finally she pulls herself away and steve lets her go. she steps back enough to look at him - and as if this couldn’t get any more surprising, she reaches up to cup his face, albeit briefly. “you take care of yourself, alright, steve?”

and he bites back the urge to respond with something snarky - to give a response like ‘no worries, been doing it my whole life’, instead - he gives her the smallest smile he can manage. “you too, patricia.”

she doesn’t even seem to react to the name, just drops her hands now - steps back completely and with one final nod turns and makes her way fully out of the house, down the steps - into the car containing his father waiting for her below, and out of his life forever.

[acourtofthought]

Spoilers for the This Woven Kingdom series.

It's not a finished series yet so I'm unsure of who the endgame person will be but let me just say I'm a super big fan of how top authors are leaning into snarky, clever, powerful, HOT, red headed men as love interests.

I'm betting Jamie Frazier and Outlander had something to do with this trend.

[pastafossa]

How does Agent Thompson look like?

I try to keep characters vague enough for headcanon casting - I think I mentioned she's got dark hair shot through with grey, and cool eyes, though cool as in 'unflinching and kinda closed off'. However, in my head, she looks like and sounds exactly like Hilary Swank (just with greyer hair) in Logan Lucky for some reason, so there ya go.

side note: logan lucky is criminally underrated and the trailers did not accurately describe how fucking hilarious and fun the movie is, highly recommend

[savingthrcw]

!!!! you pick any of my male muses ^u^ @retrograderesemblance [plotted starter 01/??] from x meme - Sarah and Kaz

Sarah had lost track of Kaz because Jesper was in danger, and she was not one to leave a man behind, even if her only mission was the former. But after that she had quickly followed the men who had grabbed him, and was easily allowed to pass by the one left behind who had dropped his attention at the sight of her batting eyelashes and revealing dress, who didn't suspect her one bit. She had run into the room and straight to the one Grisha and knocking him out with a flying kick before he could use his powers; a moment after that, she had started beating the men out of her way one after the other, and in one heads-slam case two at the same time. Avoiding a bullet with a flip, she tossed her knife with deadly precision at the shooter, and with that everything was well again. Her usually glacial expression morphed into a concerned frown as she reached Kaz, "Are you alright?"

Bodyguard instead of assassin meant feeling responsible for him, that her goal was protection and not death, an adjustment that after years of forcing herself to be detached felt hard to accepted, but she couldn't help feeling worried for him not that it was an option again.

[savingthrcw]

"No, I meant that what you are telling me now is not enough," Sarah didn't move a muscle, staring down at him to read his face and try to learn more than what he was saying, "What did he do, how did you find out and have you done anything illegal that may make a judge drop a case against him." Why didn't you come and talk to me before acting on it? She wanted to add, but waited instead, hating that she felt outside of the action, and hating even more that maybe Winn didn't trust her as much as it seemed.

"It has to be enough." Winn knew that it might not be. He knew that if this doesn't work that there was a lot that could go back on him. He cut a lot of corners to get that information. "Nothing that I got was going to get him killed." But if it got back to Thomas what Winn had done, well that might mean Winn wouldn't be sticking around. "I gave everything to Casey and Alex, they are a surprisingly good team."

[faguscarolinensis]

Coreopsis verticillata / Whorled Coreopsis at the Sarah P. Duke Gardens at Duke University in Durham, NC

[sarahvansloten]

Having fun working on my quilt this summer

[acourtofquestions]

“I claim you Rowan Whitethorn. I claim you as my friend.”

“I claim you, Aelin. To whatever end.”

[lcstinfantasy]

closed starter for @houseofwisteria || jj x john b x sarah.

it wasn't like it hadn't been something that sarah and john b were discussing. they had tossed the idea of approaching jj with the offer to join them as a couple. not just for sex but to honestly just be together as one. jj and john b already had such a strong bond and sarah and him seemed to click almost instantly after he got over the whole her being a kook thing. it only made sense, especially with their attraction to the other blond. still kissing jj because of a dare by her own boyfriend was not what she expected it to go. climbing into his lap, she bites her lip gently. her hands cup her face and she can feel john b's eyes on them as she leans forward and connects their lips in a kiss.

[imminent-danger-came]

I know now probably isn't the best time with the whole SituationTM... buuuuuut i CALLED IT WITH THE FOUR SYMBOLS WOOOOOOOO THEY'RE REAL!!!!

LOL. We are taking all the Ws we can man