#sans kind of inevitably has to get involved in the main plot and have some sort of relationship with the main cast considering the stuff

[ridgystacis]

people saying papyrus can’t be the knight by pointing to him being an undertale character as evidence he won’t be important makes no sense to me cause like rejecting a theory outright without actually considering it is functionally the same as locking into a theory and refusing to look at alternate possibilities

[utnewfoundfamily]

Hii,question for the author! Cold we see a bit of plot, maybe a few posts that lets us see the characters and settings that you made,maybe some doodle comics? I just found your blog, and wanted to ask, but there isnt a starting story yet, just characters. Or is the story somewhere else and im missing something?

Also, I adore how you draw, very cool style!

I’ve waited for MONTHS to be able to make stuff for this world. And my deepest apologies for the delay and lack of said story posted here. Though I have a document for this AU pinned on this account, I feel it is important to share the tale in case anything were to happen to the document. Keeping a record of sorts. With that said, I hope you don’t mind that I indulge you with the plot here in this ask. Better to write it if I am unable to illustrate all the details.

Big thing I want to emphasize is that Frisk doesn’t have the ability to restart. From what is understood on their part, the option has all but vanished. Not that they want to restart in the first place. What they have now is great! Life for them feels, well, real. Not like a video game such as before. They get to make their own decisions about what to do. Some good, some bad, and some dumb. Regardless, they have the freedom to dictate their life. It’s been like that for 8 years and hasn’t changed since. Though the idea of it turning back into a game is a big possibility (or rather inevitable). But thankfully it won’t send them all the way back into the underground. That would be hell if it did.

Another thing, Frisk’s story is about settling down with one thought that they have been trying to convince themselves is wrong and evil. And that thought is that it’s okay to fight back. Because the center point of the story is them going against another human named Vance whose own soul is corrupted and means to do harm to Frisk and any life they may value and cherish. Why? Purely because he’s jealous of what Frisk is. That they, and so many other humans have magic and Vance does not.

Vance is a boy who is obsessed with magic of humans and monsters alike. Especially Frisk’s. They’re the main one who seems to have more going on than so many others in their community. However you see it, the boy is bad news and a bit of a freak. Definitely not a kid you want to be around. But he was the one who pushed Frisk to this new game that he will become aware of and have fun playing in. Frisk won’t though and will be so stressed out.

The main goal of this thing of mine is that no one should ever be blaming Frisk for anything here. They will do whatever they can to make things better. To try see good and seek out the possibility that change is out there for Vance. But he won’t want it and bash the options because it’s not what he wants. We are the viewers of this story. And all Frisk just wants is to live their life and live it with their family. That family being:

Sans

Papyrus

Aster (Gaster)

And the Dreemurrs

They’re all one big family.

This is a lot of info probably, but there is so much more in my document. I’m just paraphrasing what I wrote on their onto here so others can see. Illustrations are in order, but my best option is write the concepts and story all down. I would’ve made this a fanfic, but I’m not too confident in my writing skills. But this is close enough for now cause I do want to draw stuff like this out. Also! Pretty sure this is an obvious sign, yet this an AU that leans more on the kids or teens of UT with many others slowly becoming involved.

Edit: Oh, and thank you for the kind words on my artstyle! Very much appreciated :)

[kuramirocket]

Sandwiched between private properties in Southeast Austin sits a little-known cemetery off Hoeke Lane, just west of U.S. 183. From the outside, there’s nothing that indicates the site is the final resting place for a number of Mexican and Mexican-American residents who died decades ago.

It’s a wilderness. The headstones, many of which date back to the 1940s, are easy to miss. The weeds are overgrown, and trees and shrubs cover much of the 4.5-acre plot.

The cemetery has been called a couple different names over the years — the Montopolis Cemetery and San José II. But no sign will tell you that. In fact, there’s scarce information available about the cemetery’s history at all.

But members of the community and a team of researchers are trying to change that. They want to trace back its history and ensure the cemetery, along with its sister site in nearby Montopolis, is preserved.

Diana Hernandez is the lead researcher for (Re)claiming Memories, a research group out of UT Austin that seeks to restore and preserve missing histories in communities of color. She and her team have been collecting death certificates and reaching out to descendants of those buried at the cemeteries to help piece together the history.

“Once we start to research the people that are buried here and start to find archival documentation for each person, we start to see the community come to life through the cemetery,” she said.

The History

To understand San José II, Hernandez says, we have to start about 2 miles north at San José I. This historic Mexican and Mexican-American cemetery was built around 1919. It sits between two churches off Montopolis Drive, though neither of them own it. The site is believed to be unclaimed, or orphaned, meaning no one is responsible for its upkeep in any official capacity. But neighbors and community members have taken care of it as best they can over the years, mowing the lawn, pulling weeds and cleaning off gravestones.

A metal archway stands at the entrance and reads “San Jose Cementerio.” The cemetery was founded by a mutual aid society called the Union Fraternal Mexicana, and it served the migrant sharecropping community. This was during segregation.

“Mexicans weren’t necessarily allowed to be buried in white cemeteries,” Hernandez said. “In some cases I've seen where there's a white cemetery, and then right next to it is the Mexican section … In this case, it was just a completely different cemetery."

When Cementerio San José started to get full, the second one was created in 1949 in Del Valle. Over the years, the cemeteries changed hands. The original San José hasn’t had a known owner for several decades. San José II has an owner, but she’s believed to be in poor health and unable to maintain it, according to Hernandez. KUT reached out to the owner for this story, but did not hear back.

Based on their research so far, Hernandez and her team estimate San José I and II have more than 350 burials combined. But understanding how many burials are at each individual site is a challenge. That’s partly because on death certificates, the name Montopolis Cemetery was often used interchangeably for San José I and II. And not every burial has a gravestone.

Many people buried at the cemeteries died during concurrent epidemics, like influenza, tuberculosis and pneumonia.

“They were getting so many bodies that they were burying people in layers on top of each other, and they stopped documenting who all was getting buried,” she said. “Because there's no documentation for the number of layers for the people that were being buried in these mass graves, we're just never going to know. There's going to be layers of people that we're never going to be able to identify.”

Hernandez began researching the San José cemeteries at the end of 2019, just before the area was hit with another outbreak of a deadly disease — COVID-19. And again, this predominantly Latino neighborhood was hit harder than others.

“These histories repeat themselves,” Hernandez said. “I think that’s one of the reasons why this work is important, because it kind of sheds light on these pasts that weren’t acknowledged the way they should have been. We can use this knowledge to improve our present.”

The Descendants

Frank Monreal remembers the days when Montopolis Drive was just a dirt road. He and the other neighborhood kids, some 50 years ago, would play on the giant oak tree that stands in the middle of Cementerio San José. Instead of bicycles, he and his friends had horses.

“Everybody rode horses back then,” he said one day while at San José I. “We used to come out here, and they were our lawn mowers. They let them eat the grass and keep the grass low here.”

Monreal has relatives buried at San José I and II. From an early age, he understood death was a natural part of life. He often helped out with funerals. He remembers one burial happening at Cementerio San José when he was a kid. But it’s been a long time since anyone was buried there, he says. Most gravesites appear to date back to the 1930s, 1940s and 1950s.

There were more gravestones back then, he says, but some have weathered or broken over time. He used to walk through the cemetery on his way to school. He’d often see people putting flowers on graves, something he doesn’t see much anymore. Now, many relatives have died or left.

“That’s inevitable, you know, because generations change,” he said. “People move away.”

Preserving the cemetery, though, is important, he says, especially as gentrification has altered the landscape of Montopolis over the years.

“[The cemetery] is sacred ground to us, from our ancestors,” he said. “I don’t want to see it gone.”

Micaela Johnson, a 19-year-old artist and activist, can trace part of her family tree back to the Cementerio San José. She’s a member of the Limón family, one of Austin’s founding families whose descendants now number upwards of 3,500.

Many of her family members grew up and had businesses in Montopolis, like the Limón Bakery. She said her grandparents probably have connections to at least a quarter of the people buried at San José.

In her family, passing down stories from generation to generation is a common tradition. She remembers hearing stories about Aurora, her grandfather’s sister, who died in 1940 of pneumonia when she was 11 months old. She was buried at Cementerio San José, and her gravestone was decorated with marbles. But Johnson hasn’t been able to locate it.

She also remembers stories of Concepcion Trevino Garcia, her great-great-grandmother who died in 1939 from tuberculosis and was buried at San José. She left behind her husband and five young daughters.

“She was one of the strongest women that I have ever heard my family talk about,” Johnson said. “She was very driven and very loving.”

Garcia's grandchildren still visit the cemetery on Mother’s Day and leave flowers, Johnson said. Her family’s connection to the cemetery has inspired Johnson to get involved with (Re)claiming Memories and help ensure the San José cemeteries are well kept.

“It’s not just a place where people are buried,” she said. “It’s the life and the heart of a lot of our ancestry.”

One of the more recent headstones at Cementerio San José belongs to Augustina Rosales, who was at one time believed to be Austin’s oldest living resident. She died in 1994 at age 116. Near the back of the cemetery, she’s buried next to her husband Marcos, who died in 1951.

Rosales had 13 children and raised several others who were relatives or orphaned as if they were her own. She liked to dance to conjunto music and cook for her family, according to an Austin American-Statesman article about her death. Rosa Moncada, Rosales's great-granddaughter, says “she was awesome.”

Maintaining The Cemeteries

Moncada has several other relatives buried at San José, including grandparents and two older sisters who were born premature and died. Growing up in East Austin, Moncada would go with her mother and siblings to visit the cemetery. But they went less frequently over time, in part because the grass was often so high they couldn’t easily walk through it.

When they heard about the work Hernandez and her team are doing to help maintain the cemetery, Moncada and her sister Juanita Moncada Bayer started visiting again. And now they’re trying to keep it maintained, bringing relatives together to mow the lawn and clear out dead tree branches.

But maintaining the cemetery consistently isn’t an easy task. San José I is 2.5 acres.

“We thought, well, let's do what we can,” Bayer said. “But unfortunately, our mind tells us we can do it. But our bodies — like, that's hard work.”

(Re)claiming Memories and members of the community hosted a cleanup for San José earlier this year and hope to host more. They have been reaching out to city and county leaders, asking them to allocate more resources to the cemeteries' maintenance.

The more challenging endeavor will be cleaning up San José II. The site is difficult to access, making it hard for people to visit and maintain it.

Monreal remembers going to San José II as a kid to visit his grandfather’s grave with his dad. Back then, San José II had a proper entrance and was easier to get to.

Now, a locked chain-link fence blocks the main path that leads to the cemetery. Several sources told KUT the fence was put up by the property owner next door, perhaps to keep people from trespassing. KUT reached out to the law office that owns the property and was told it didn’t have anything to do with the gate. Hernandez and the research group are trying to get to the bottom of the issue and hope to create a proper entrance, so descendants can visit.

The area has long had problems with people dumping trash and gravel. A mound of dirt and debris now presses against fencing on one side of the cemetery.

And warehouses are being built on the southeastern side. This worries Hernandez because the cemetery hasn’t been surveyed; some burials could be outside the perimeter and could be disturbed. Community members have expressed concern that debris from construction is impacting the cemetery.

When KUT reached out to the construction manager for the company that’s developing the site, he was surprised to learn there was a cemetery next door. (“That is a jungle,” Brent Ramirez said.)

The cemetery itself is zoned for warehouse and limited office use, which some are concerned could make it vulnerable to development. (Re)claiming Memories is working with Council Member Vanessa Fuentes to get the proper zoning for it and a historical designation. Fuentes toured the cemetery earlier this year.

“It’s sad to see because it looks as if it’s been neglected and dismissed, especially with the development that’s right next to it,” she said. “Those are families and families’ history and legacies and relatives that are buried there. Those are stories that need to be told.”

Currently, pink marking flags stick up in various spots within the shrubbery of San José II. That’s the work of Joaquin Rodriguez, an Austin resident who has been going out to the cemetery to remove litter and clean off and mark gravestones that have been covered up over time.

He first learned about the cemetery late last year while researching his ancestry. Rodriguez, who was adopted, had taken a DNA test and learned he had relatives buried at cemeteries throughout Austin, including San José I and II. After seeing how neglected San José II was, he decided to take matters into his own hands.

The (Re)claiming Memories team wants to eventually create a digital map or database where people can upload information about the people buried at the cemeteries. Hernandez hopes this crowdsourced online resource will help bring the stories of the deceased together and shed light on the history of the Mexican and Mexican-American community in Montopolis.

The team is also putting together an exhibit on the cemeteries for the Mexic-Arte Museum in September. Johnson plans to perform a poem called “We Are Lost History” and sell shirts she designed, the proceeds from which will support the cemeteries' upkeep.

Johnson said she recognizes that Austinites who are not directly connected to the cemeteries may not see a reason to care about them, but she thinks they should.

“They might just see it as another gravesite or another old ancient Mexican burial ground, and they might [think] it doesn’t matter because it’s not a part of them,” Johnson said. “But it is a part of them. It’s a part of the history of Austin.”

And as development continues to alter the look and population of the Montopolis neighborhood, she says, it’s urgent to keep conversations about the cemeteries going.

“If we’re not actively trying to be like, ‘Hey, this matters,’” she said, “it’ll get washed away.”

[hellzyeahthewebwieldingavenger]

Marvel Universe LIVE: Age of Heroes Thoughts

I just got back from seeing the Marvel Universe LIVE: Age of Heroes stage show at London’s O2 Arena and thought I’d share my thoughts on it.

The first thing I have to acknowledge is that I am absolutely not the target audience for this thing even a little bit.

The target audience is at absolute minimum 5 and at a huge push maybe 12 years old, with 8-10 probably being the sweet spot.

It’s essentially for kids who’ve seen the MCU, the 2010s cartoons, played the most child friendly video games, picked up the sticker books and so forth. If there were any winks to the comics or deep cuts me and my friend (who’ve both been around the block many times when it comes to comics) either didn’t catch them or they might’ve been unintentional.

But what exactly is this?

Simply put it is a stage show that runs under 2 hours (including an intermission) in which a group of heroes engage in stunts and acrobatics in a bare bones story wherein they tangle with Nebula, the Ravagers (including Yondu) and most chiefly Loki across some famous Marvel locations for control of the mystical item, the Wand of Watoomb (which debuted in ASM Annual #2!).

The heroes in question are:

·         Doctor Strange

·         Star Lord

·         Gamora

·         Rocket Racoon

·         Drax the Destroyer

·         Groot

·         Spider-Man

·         Captain America

·         Iron Man

·         Thor

·         Bruce Banner/the Hulk

·         Black Widow

·         Wasp (Hope? Janet? It is unclear)

·         Black Panther

·         And a surprise guest appearance from Iron Fist

There are also some other more minor characters of note too:

·         The Chitauri who act as Loki’s soldiers

·         Green Goblin

·         Rhino

·         Lizard

·         Electro

·         And Black Cat

Sans the Chitauri the latter villains only appear briefly in a battle just there to introduce Spidey and the Avengers (sans Iron Fist, Hulk and Doctor Strange) on stage.

The scenario is Green Goblin is committing a crime in NYC that Spider-Man shows up to stop but is then attacked by Black Cat and soon the other Spidey villains. Ultimately outnumbered and out gunned that’s when the Avengers show up to help.

From there Doctor Strange shows up to inform them that Nebula got her hands on the wand and it’s teleporting her somewhere on Earth (this was all shown earlier in the show during the introduction to the Guardians and Ravagers). With Banner’s help they narrow the locations down to K’un-Lun and Antarctica.

As the Guardians head to Knowhere to get one of the Collector’s items that will be able to take them to the wand, the Avengers split into two groups and head to both locations.

The K’un-Lun team consists of Thor, Iron Man, Wasp and Doctor Strange and the Antarctic team consists of Spidey, Cap, Black Widow and Black Panther.

They plan to bring in Bruce/Hulk if the situation gets really dire, but little do they know Loki has invade Avengers Tower in New York and captured Bruce, casting a spell on him that prevents him from getting angry and thus transforming.

Part 1 concludes with the K’un-Lun team fighting Loki who uses his magic to bring a statue of a dragon (who is clearly meant to be Shou-Lao the Undying) to live. The dragon in turn animates a group of stone soldiers to fight the Avengers who’s abilities are ineffective against them. That’s when Iron Fist appears to help out. Deducing that beating the dragon will enable them to beat the soldiers, Iron Fist ends it and the soldiers are defeated soon after. Unfortunately Loki still captures the Avengers.

In Part 2 the Guardians manage to beat the Ravagers (who are also after Rocket’s bounty) and find what they need to get to Earth.

Meanwhile the second Avengers team have found themselves in the Savage Land and the natives are not pleased to see them. Nebula is teleported there but Spider-Man webs the wand out of her (and everyone else’s) reach thus prompting a battle to reach it in time. The good guys win and use the wand’s power to take them to the other Avengers, unaware they are captured in Loki’s throne room on Asgard.

Loki soon captures everyone but thanks to Rocket’s especially dangerous big gun most of the heroes are freed. The big exception is Bruce. This is a problem because only he can penetrate the force field protecting the wand and avert disaster. Unfortunately his own prison cell won’t open.

The heroes then resolve to use a device Iron Man talked about way back in their introductory battle. In short through the power of combined positive thoughts Iron Man’s device can unleash a powerful burst of energy. The heroes (and the audience) send their positive thoughts and succeed in releasing Banner and unleashing the Hulk who saves the day.

Good guys win. Bad guys lose. The crowd claps and cheers as the actors pose and bow. Hulk and Groot squabble.

Based upon everything above you might be thinking this show is rather...well lame.

However it is in fact really, really fun!

As is so often the case with stage shows you have to actually see them (and really in person) to appreciate them, reading a summary or even a script doesn’t do them justice.

As basic and simple as the plot and characters are (we never see the heroes out of costume for instance) it is all service of the point of the show.

Cool stunts, acrobatics, fight choreography and set pieces with some of your favourite super heroes.

On that front the show is a rousing success and the story mostly works towards that end. You want deep thoughtful Marvel storytelling that’s the movies and the comics. You want just pure superhero fun, this is it.

I guess you could argue the writing could be better because it gives little in the way of stuff for the adults inevitably dragged to this by their kids like many Pixar films succeed in doing.

And yes that would have made this stage show better. Better...but not good. After all where is it written that a stage show made specifically to entertain children and just children is bad merely because it doesn’t seek to do more than that, let alone when it totally succeeds?

The stunt work, acrobatics and effects mind you are not Cirque du Soleil or anything. But they are great for what they are. Almost everything in the fight scenes works for instance, stand outs for me being the Spidey fighting his villains (especially Felicia), Black Cat vs. Black Widow (has that ever even happened in canon?), Black Panther vs. the Rhino, Cap fighting whilst on a motorcycle (I felt  the kicks!), Spidey’s own motorcycle stunts (the only time Spidey on a bike has ever been cool), Gamora vs. Nebula and everything with Iron Fist.

The only nitpick I have regarding the fights is that occasionally one character might be off to the side tossing their hands around and stamping for no reason because it isn’t their turn to get involved in the action yet. This happened with Electro actually, I don’t know why. Maybe they felt if they had him actually attack when the heroes were otherwise occupied the villains would just win.

Again though it’s a nitpick. As is the fact that when they introduce us to the Savage Land they reused stock background footage from the ‘Walking with Dinosaurs’ show that played at the O2 Arena earlier this year. To let you appreciate just how much of a nitpick this is, I’m pretty sure I was the only audience member to notice this and that’s purely because by coincidence I saw that very show way back in January.

One final nitpick which is really just me is that the gesticulations the actors make and larger than necessary body movements kind of ruined my emersion a little bit, but that’s probably a necessity for this show.

None of the stage performers were really talking, their dialogue had all been pre-recorded by professional voice actors (Cree Summers and Fred Tatasciore being the more obvious ones I caught) and if their costumes revealed their mouths they just lip-synched. As such those over the top gestures are probably an important part of the performance of the show to bring the characters to life considering there isn’t a single person acting in the role. Plus you need some way of communicating emotions (however simplistic) to the audience through distance (the O2 Arena is huge) and costumes.

Since I know so little about stage productions in general and I’m clearly not the real target demographic for this show (nor do I have children of my own so I can’t even really envision their mindset) I’m just going to talk about the stuff I liked and disliked.

To be honest the only thing I honestly disliked were the Guardians. The Guardians films are wonderful but the unintended consequence of their success is that every iteration of the Guardians thereafter (be it video games or sticker books) based themselves upon the movies. It’s not just that that gets repetitive since there isn’t as much material to draw from but it also has the unfortunate effect of making the Guardians kind of caricatures of themselves. The Guardians movies to be blunt do place the 5 main Guardians within clear cut archetypes and then builds upon that. In other media though they really are just reduced to those archetypes.

Star Lord be the cocky leader who can at times be less smooth than he’d like.

Gamora is the serious warrior woman who rolls her eyes at the antics of her team mates and has a rivalry with her sister.

Drax is also a serious warrior but more direct and there is the gag that he takes things totally literally.

Rocket is the snarky and short tempered one.

Groot is the heavy who prefers to be a gentle giant and is Rocket’s BFF.

Because they have been like that in EVERYTHING sans the MCU it’s like watching an old cartoon from the 80s or something where you know exactly what every character is going to do and how they are going to do it because everything is so stock.

In this production that’s not really that big of a problem since everyone is so simplistic and the spectacle is really the entire point. But for me personally I did just get a little bored with their scenes whereas with the Avengers I was at least curious how they were going to do Thor, Cap, Black Panther, etc. Even if their take was what was most likely and little different to most other media to feature these characters in current pop culture, there was just more there for me.

Seeing Banner used as the tech guy but also secret weapon hasn’t been done to death or the only direction you could realistically have expected for the character to have gone in this. And that’s owed to the Hulk having a long and rich history in the comics and other media from which to draw from. The Guardians technically have that, but they were so minor before the film, the simplistic takes based on the film became the default and I knew that within five seconds. Hence their scenes felt like going through the motions whenever they were talking.

Everything else in the show though I really enjoyed. I’m not going to call out the show for doing Green Goblin, Lizard or Black Cat wrong because the nature of the show simply didn’t demand it. the project called for some recognizable and colourful Spider-Man villains that could be practically realized on stage and fight the Avengers. Venom comes with baggage and is kind of too similar to Spider-Man is spectacle is all you are going for and Doc Ock or Scorpion would’ve been way too expensive. So who else are you going to have lead the villains besides the Goblin, who’s abilities allow for aerial stunts and the like? Felicia I grant you could’ve been switched out for the Shocker or someone, maybe they felt they should have at least one other female villain somewhere in the show besides Nebula.

I didn’t care though. Seeing Felicia at all in other media is generally a treat for me and seeing her realized in live action for the first time ever (in a comic book accurate outfit no less) just put a grin on my face as did seeing her duel with Black Widow.

In fact the entire Spider-Villain brawl was the highlight of the show for me and I didn’t even know it was going to be in the thing. As each villain showed up me and my friend were squealing under our breaths. If only they’d had one more villain though we could’ve gotten ourselves a Sinister Six.

How about Spider-Man himself? He was mostly done well too. Now he was obviously influenced by the USM cartoon version of Spider-Man so he sounded like Drake Belle...but a way more tolerable not really annoying Drake Belle. There was also only one moment in the show he was made to look the buffoon. Technically there was another when he was figuring out how to ride the motorcycle but that was an excuse for some impressive stunt work so it’s forgivable.

Speaking of stunt work...they straight up had Spider-Man swinging around the stage at various points, coming close to the audience and thwipping at times! It was spectacular and sensational. He even had an aerial tussle with the Goblin on his glider. That officially makes this more successful than Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark in that regard. They seemed to save Spider-Man swinging around for big moments of the show too, like they knew that was going to be the most impressive thing about it.

They also mercifully didn’t make Spider-Man sellout to the Avengers or Iron Man in any way. Iron Man isn’t treated as his Dad and he and Spider-Man barely talk to one another. Equally whilst Spider-Man is an Avenger in this and is rescued by them, it’s exactly once and he is shown to hold his own as an equal with any of the team. In fact he’s arguably the MVP of the Savage Land battle when he gets the wand.

He also has the best line of the show and one of the best I’ve ever heard from Spider-Man in general. I’m paraphrasing but it goes like this when he’s addressing Nebula (IIRC) after removing the wand from her:

“With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility. And you don’t seem like the responsible type.”

I question how 55 years of Spider-Man comics elapsed with the character never saying that before this stage show!

Besides Spider-Man the character I enjoyed the most in this was Iron Fist.

I’m not a huge Iron Fist fan, I actually find him kind of pointless whenever he’s not teamed up with Luke Cage. But the mere fact that he showed up at all, that the producers cared enough to use him when he hasn’t been in a movie and kids would only know him from the USM cartoon showed there was a respect underlying the production of this show.

More poignantly these less than 30 minutes of stage time Iron Fist got in this did him better than the entire 13 agonizing hours of his Netflix show and to be honest even his much improved second season. The bare minimum anyone wanted out of this character was him to wear the suit, light up his fist and kick pull off some cool martial arts moves.

Netflix instead gave us boardroom politics for practically a whole season whilst this stage show nailed it in 5 seconds. The action choreography was especially great with him in fact and whilst his costume was unique to anything I’ve seen in the comics it captured the gist of his comic book outfits. In fact I’d go so far as to say that this might be the best Iron Fiat outfit ever!

Hulk and Groot were well realized through actors using stilts and I’m actually surprised they made Hulk the show stopper. The whole show was building towards his transformation. Maybe they just realized if he was always there they’d win too easily. I prefer to think the producers just liked Hulk that much.

Over here in the UK, obviously the MCU is big. But for most of the last 50 odd years Spider-Man and Hulk were far and away the most popular Marvel characters. Maybe that’s why they got the best moments in the show?

Iron Man was also used quite well. They respected that because he’s the most famous/popular MCU star not called Spider-Man they had to give him one big moment, but he didn’t steal the show or save the day or get more attention (outside of that moment) than anyone else the way it was too often in the MCU.

His big moment came from when the showmakers apparently either really liked the Happiness Gun from Maximum Carnage or really liked the Spirit Bomb from Dragon Ball Z because Tony’s super positive thoughts device was essentially the same concept.

[thefloatingstone]

In 2012 I did not think I’d be able to make this list as I was convinced anime was on a permanent decline towards nothing but trash, but I am so happy that has changed! And so I give you a quick list of;

Favourite Anime made in the last 4 years!

Mob Psycho 100 (2016)

A no brainer, really. With a 2nd Season having JUST premiered earlier this week, MP100 is easily one of not only best LOOKING animes in a very very long time, but also one with an extremely strong empathetic message that’s completely opposite to most shounen anime. The theme of “having outrageous powers doesn’t make you any more or less special and important than any other human being” and how all the villains in the show are people, either super powered or not, who believe themselves “more important” than others is at the heart of its story. And our protagonist who is a person with horrifically strong powers, but who is trying to develop as a human being, and finds himself to be a rather emotionally brittle person who relies very heavily on others for emotional support. As well as focusing on the people willing to grant him that. It’s got some strong influential roots in the Earthbound and Mother 3 games and despite never saying anything along those lines, I can bet you anything the original Mangaka, ONE, drew heavy inspiration from their tone and presentation, as well as emotional core despite the oftentimes wacky setting.

The anime should also not be overlooked for its incredible Sakuga sequences, as well as using mixed media in its animation from pencil drawings, to paint of glass, to charcoal to sand, cementing it as easily one of the most visually interesting and ambitious shows in the last decade or so

Made in Abyss (2017)

An anime that understands concepts of Scope and Scale and manages to bring what is normally reserved for feature films to an episodic storyline. Made in Abyss’ entire theme and story is that of exploration of the unknown and everything in this anime’s power is honed to bring across that feeling. Its art direction headed by Osamu Masuyama whose previous work include working on the background art for both Spirited Away and Howl’s Moving Castle, is painstakingly rendered to bring as much gravitas to the setting as possible, aided by the soundtrack written by Kevin Penkin which is just as much atmospheric as it is musical in nature. Every ounce of talent is focused on making Made in Abyss’ world, culture and characters feel solid and real. And unlike other anime with cutesy art styles but dark subject matter, Made in Abyss’ darker tone is established right in the first episode and gradually builds to its first season’s climax, rather than blindside its audience out of nowhere.

I sincerely cannot sing this show’s praises enough.

It also doesn’t hurt that the animation itself is fluid and lively.

Re:Creators (2017)

When I gave this to an animator friend of mine, one who is NOT as big a weeb as I am, he referred to it as “if Ready Player One actually knew what it was doing.” Re:Creators is one of a trend of some anime where the narrative is extremely meta in nature, but rather than use this as a form of parody, Re:Creators instead focuses itself on using its meta storytelling to shine a light on Japanese popular media as a whole, both from the side of the creators who MAKE such things, as well as the side of the fans and not only their response to media, but their interpretation and addition to popular media. And unlike the more critical approach several horror anime have taken in the past, Re:Creators also shows the positive effect stories in the form of anime, video games, manga etc both on those who read it as well as those who create it. And show how fan creations and their responses and reaction to media are just as important and enriching to works like this as the very people who create them.

It’s also one of the first shows from any country that correctly portrays what online fan culture is like. Both good AND bad.

Erased (2016)

HOO BOY. The Big Guns. Most mainstream anime set in a modern setting inevitably seem to involve high school or at least characters who are high school aged. Erased, however, deals with a protagonist who is 28 years old. Due to time travel shenanigans, he is transported back to 1989 when he was 11 years old growing up in Hokaido. So already, this anime is complete skewing the generic setting for stories of its type, further hammered in by the fact that the show has no romantic subplot in it. There might be a smidge of something like “preteen romantic feelings” among the children but as far as “female hero the protag is going to fall in love with at the end��� goes? Yeah there’s none of that.

Erased is an extremely dark anime, but not in the way Made in Abyss is dark. Whereas Abyss’ dark tone comes from things like getting eaten by monsters and body horror caused by the Abyss’ curse, the dark theme of Erased on the other hand is much more horrifying as it comes from “reality”. And it’s because of this I WILL have to warn people about its plot points because it WILL and DOES get uncomfortable.

The plot of Erased is our 28 year old protagonist gets hurled back in time to when he was 11 years old in Hokaido, as I said. In the winter of 1989 there were a string of child abductions and murders, and it’s up to our main character, again in his 11 year old body, to solve these crimes to prevent a tragedy in modern day. Not only does the show deal with the very uncomfortable topic of child abduction and murder, but a MASSIVE part of the plot revolves around the would be murder victim, Hinazaki Kayo, who is living with her physically abusive mother. And unlike shows like “Magical Girl SITE”, the abuse is not shown as “suffer porn” and blown up to be so over the top in how bad it is, ut is instead extremely grounded and feels waaaay to real to the point of being very upsetting. However, the abuse is not there to make the audience sad. The abuse is in the plot to further press upon the audience the borderline helpless state our main character is in. As a child, he has to rely on his experience and ability to think like an adult to try and prevent the serial murders, as WELL as try and get Hanazaki out of her abusive situation. It also serves as a learning experience for our main character, and him figuring out how he hasn’t changed at all since he really was a child, and how his own stagnation in life itself needs to change and be redirected. The show is bursting with tension and every episode exists to turn the stakes up just a little bit higher.

I’ve heard some people are extreme disappointed by the show’s ending which I will not spoil, but personally going into it completely blind, I didn’t find any of it to be a let down and its very quickly become one of my favourite anime of all time.

The Ancient Magus Bride (2017)

(I actually don’t like the intro to Ancient Magus Bride so it only gets a link since I can only embed 5 videos)

https://youtu.be/KuZbmLLv1vM

Based on a manga by Kore Yamazaki, who has stated that her reason for writing the story was out of frustration that in “Beauty and the Beast” type stories, the beast always turns back into a human at the end. However this anime is far more than just a monsterfucker’s romance novel (although it... DOES follow a LOT of those tropes but hear me out.)

Set in the English countryside (although our female MC, Rise, is herself Japanese) the show makes heavy use of english folklore. Faeries are a constant presence throughout the show, and these are not the “nice” kind of faeries you’d see in Disney. Despite theyr good nature and honest want to help, these are the kinds of faeries that will kidnap you to their realm if you so much as let your guard down. We also have excellent portrayals of Titania, the queen of the faeries, and her heated relationship with her husband Oberon. Several other creatures from folklore make an appearance too, as well as old traditions such as faerie rings, seeing stones and the magical properties of herbs and flowers.

But beyond all of that, and even beyond the romance tropes or monster protector who is also a threat and powerful lead female who also needs protecting, the core theme of the show is on life. Or more specifically, death. Rise is a girl who is suicidal. And despite her not making any kind of suicide attempt in the show, this is a fact. The majority of the show is focused on Rise learning to “be alive” again, as well as process what life is, as well as what death is in its many forms. The show is a slow build of Rise reclaiming her will to live, not because of a romantic partner, but for herself. Reclaiming her own importance as a person removed from who she could be useful towards, and a slow coming to terms with a truly terrible event in her past and letting go of a traumatic past.

The show has some pacing issues here and there, but I still qualify it as one of the better modern anime shows to have come out in years, and can only praise its life-affirming message it’s trying to tell.

Osomatsu-San (2015)

I am.... not entirely sure how to explain Osomatsu-San.

Based on a manga published in the 1960s by Doraemon Creator Fujio Fujiko about 6 identical sextuplet brothers and their friends... the current and newest anime adaptation has borderline nothing to do with its original incarnation which was more your typical Showa era “hi-jinx” type gag manga. I think the very first episode of Osomatsu-San (which is not available for official purchase last I checked due to copyright issues) sets up the entire show perfectly, as the 6 boys and their friends learn they have a new anime adaptation coming up and realise that nobody in the modern age will want or even understand Showa era manga. So, instead, in an effort to be like “a real anime” they go about parodying literally every popular trope and show that’s out at the time. From yaoi-incest baiting to Jpop boy band to Attack on Titan to Sailor Moon, they keep cranking up the “modern anime” aesthetic until it literally explodes and collapses in on itself. And after realising they don’t have what it takes to compete in a modern anime word, the characters resign themselves to being losers who will never achieve anything in life.... and that’s where the show starts.

I can only refer to the show as “Millennial humour: the anime.”. 90% of it is just comedy with our 6 main characters who are, at their core, pretty terrible people. However, their issues and struggles of trying to be adults make them some of the most relateable anime characters out there. The show bounces from parodying popular culture both in anime as well as in movies to outlining the problems of trying to be a late 20-something year old in modern society to actual hard hitting drama that actually makes you angry because how DARE this stupid show actually make you FEEL things???

It’s borderline impossible to try and explain this show because, just like its 6 protagonists, it doesn’t seem to have any direction in its life. Which is exactly the point.

[jamisonpro]

Master of None: Frank Examinations of Modern Society and Subversion of Expectations

I really love Aziz Ansari’s Netflix series, Master of None. There are few “comedies” that have been so effective in representing modern society honestly and comedically, while still being sensitive. The characters are consistent, genuine, and imperfect, investing you in their arcs and their relationships. 

Season 2 only served to expand on the genius of Season 1. From an amazing first episode that was a grand homage to De Sica’s Bicycle Thieves, to an ending that was chillingly similar to The Graduate, Master of None’s second season pulled me and held me for its all too short ten episode run. 

I can’t help but talk about things in details so spoilers. 

There are several recurring characteristics that impressed me greatly. The first was the continued theme of subverting expectations based on tropes built up by decades of repetitive television writing. We expect a character from the first episode to inevitably reappear, we are even teased by an off handed comment from a side character, but they never do reenter Dev’s life. Much like 500 Days of Summer, Master of None continuously shows the danger of expecting and committing to some stereotypical idea and structure of love. To strip down what makes it individual in every case, and instead try to force love into some played out cliche, that turns an individual into the focal point of some theatrical plot that results in two characters falling in love and being together forever. 

Master of None addresses the quirky details of what its like to be in a relationship as a young deaf woman, to be a young, lesbian, black woman and the dynamics with her family, and how as a man, to empathize with women and their inherently different experiences, to name a few examples. Instead of playing into stereotypes and laughing at things because of the way that they are (ahem, Big Bang Theory), Master of None challenges our conventional and romanticized view of life and relationships. Millennials who are first or second generation can kind of be dicks for ignoring the sacrifices their parents/grandparents made so that they could live comfortable, American lives. A side character gets an entire episode, where he and Dev go to a wedding, a wedding for a woman this particular side character never quite got over -- there’s no dramatic declaration of love or anything either, he’s there, he wrestles with his emotions, but he works through it, sans cliche wedding interruption.

It’s hard to put into words how deeply refreshing all of these episode ideas are, but to me, what is most frustrating but also most appealing about the show is the imperfect protagonist, Dev. Obviously he’s played by Aziz, and thinks much like Aziz has portrayed himself in his comedy shows. Dev seems like a lot of internal reflection for Aziz, an exaggerated way of exploring his own flaws. And man, is Dev flawed. Yes, he’s lovable, funny, quirky, and caring -- but he’s also often deeply selfish and narcissistic. Dev acts as though the world is working against him, but to the audience it should be clear that he’s responsible for a lot of what goes wrong in the personal relationships we follow most closely. He focuses on his own feelings and desires and forces those he loves out of potentially live changing, positive events because he happens to have particularly strong feelings in that moment. It’s not quite bullying, but he does have a tendency to hold people emotionally hostage, playing the victim if things don’t go his way. 

It’s charming in the way Aziz plays Dev like a big, slightly whiny kid, but it takes on a new quality when you begin to connect the dots and see how it drags in others and potentially pulls their lives out of whack. Dev is willing to keep those he’s in love with from reaching their full potential, or continuing on to a relatively happy life if it means he can feel as though he’s the main character in some sort of James Marsden/Patrick Dempsey cheesey romance where he has to get the girl, and she just needs to realize how perfect and fairy tale-esque their lives will be if they could just be together. It reveals a sort of toxic immaturity that Dev displays, but the viewer is conflicted because some part of us still want to see that Hollywood conclusion, even though we know this isn’t that kind of show. This makes it even more painful as we see Dev pushing his loved ones more and more, trying to fit round pegs into square hoies, where we know things can’t possibly work out neatly and tidily in a show that depicts life and the world so realistically otherwise. So no one is really surprised when things don’t work out, or do “work out” but there’s that sense of, “Oh shit, what now?” that The Graduate so effectively conveys with its conclusion. Dev isn’t just imperfect, he’s kind of a shitty romantic partner. He empathizes well with other people platonically, but as soon as romance gets involved, he becomes totally self-absorbed and focused on his archetypal idea of “love”. 

That’s not to say there aren’t beautiful, relatable, genuine depictions of love and human connection. This show has made me feel unlike almost any other -- it hits you somewhere deep in the emotions. It’s so realistic you feel as though you’re watching these events play out between people you really know, and more than anything you want to contact them and tell them how your perspective is revealing how big a mistake they’re making. Dev’s not doing anything with malicious intent, he's a passionate guy who doesn’t know how to reign in his feelings for the sake of those he loves.

It’s a fascinating and compelling performance that Aziz deserves all the praise and awards for. However, it also seems like its totally emotionally and mentally draining for Aziz, which is also why it seems there won’t be a season three anytime soon. If nothing else, he’s created two totally amazing, nigh perfect, seasons of television. 

[lifeonashelf]

CKY

Do any of you remember a film from the ‘90s called Shazaam?

Allow me to refresh your memory: Shazaam was a vehicle for C-list comedian Sinbad, who is perhaps best known for starring in a 1994  sitcom that was creatively titled The Sinbad Show—which I never watched because the show starred Sinbad. The Sinbad Show didn’t even last a full season on the FOX network (probably because the show starred Sinbad), but sometime either shortly before or shortly after that program was cancelled, its namesake landed the lead role in a film entitled Shazaam, a part which allowed him to stretch his acting chops by playing a wisecracking genie who acted exactly like Sinbad.

I distinctly remember seeing the trailer for this cinematic tour de force. To the best of my recollection, the plot revolved around two precocious children—one girl and one boy, naturally, to ensure that twice as many kids would beg their parents to buy the tie-in merchandise that would inexorably be produced if the film was successful—who one way or another encounter a djinn named Shazaam. Though their initial meeting befalls as a startling surprise for all parties concerned, they quickly become the best of pals and Shazaam subsequently convoys his youthful comrades through a rote series of comical PG hijinks. The specific nature of their shenanigans has been lost to the haze of time, but those details don’t matter much; a mid-‘90s movie built upon that scenario and geared toward that audience sort of writes itself (I doubt there was a subplot about Hungarian sex traffickers, for instance). I’m sure Shazaam helps the moppets surmount some sort of reasonably benign conflict and everyone learns a lesson about the true meaning of family by the time the credits roll. I’m assuming a clever dog is also involved in some fashion, and I’m confident the film features at least one protracted flatulence gag. Mind you, this is all just speculation; I can’t verify any of it since I never actually watched Shazaam (I decided not to because the trailer revealed that the film starred Sinbad).

Perhaps you already know where I’m going with this, but in case you don’t: Shazaam likely qualifies as the least successful celluloid offering ever concocted, because it is a movie which literally nobody watched. Oddly, this dearth of viewership didn’t have anything to do with Sinbad starring in it; the main reason nobody watched the film Shazaam is because the film Shazaam doesn’t actually exist. And I have a real difficult time wrapping my head around this, because not only am I ABSOLUTELY FUCKING CERTAIN that I remember viewing the trailer I’ve described, I can also readily visualize the VHS case for this movie that was never really a movie on the shelves at Blockbuster Video (imagine my incredulity when I learned that Blockbuster Video never actually existed, either). And even stranger, there are evidently thousands upon thousands of people who recall the existence of this movie that does not exist as vividly as I do.

If you kept up with the brief internet furor about this topic which arose a couple years ago, you’re undoubtedly aware the Shazaam phenomenon has been explained away as some peculiar mass delusion known as the Mandela Effect—apparently, so many human brains muddled the title and star of the ill-advised Shaquille O’Neal genie flick Kazaam that our collective hive-minds fabricated an illusory film to match our erroneous memories. (Of course, this begs the question: do those of us who remember Shazaam subconsciously wish there was a film in which Sinbad plays a sassy, flatulent genie…?). This clarification makes a kind of sense, even though my vague recollections of the corporeal Kazaam and my lucid recollections of the false Shazaam differ substantially (in my brain, Sinbad never raps or does karate in his movie, yet both disciplines factor into major plot-points in Kazaam—and Shazaam doesn’t meander into a baffling second-act detour about Hungarian sex traffickers like Shaq’s film inexplicably does).

So here’s the reason I’m bringing this up here: when I sat down to write about the band CKY, the paramount thing I intended to delve into was how I was introduced to their music. Do me a favor and keep that in mind—this information will come in handy later.

 #

  When I was a twenty-something in the very late 1990’s-slash-very early 2000’s, I worked at Domino’s Pizza as a delivery driver, which was a really excellent gig at the time. I had almost no bills and gas was a buck a gallon, so I only needed to work about 20 hours a week to earn enough money to enjoy a comfortable lifestyle. And like most twenty-something males who make their living as pizza conveyance professionals, when I wasn’t on the road, my comfortable lifestyle mainly entailed spending inordinate amounts of my free time listening to a bunch of punk rock, smoking a bunch of pot, and playing a bunch of video games.

[To be clear, not all of my co-workers at Domino’s did even one of these things. There was Dennis, for instance, who to the best of my knowledge did not enjoy punk rock, marijuana, or video games. He did, however, regularly come into work with cartons of expired baked goods that he extracted from the dumpsters behind Vons, which he would then rinse in the sink to make them “fresh” again. The prevailing rumor about Dennis’s backstory was that he was a former surgeon who had a nervous breakdown after losing a child patient on the operating table. I’m not so sure that was true, although I am very sure that he once brought in a plastic grocery bag filled with vomit instead of pastries and attempted to rinse that in the sink, too—which is why I tend to lean more toward believing Dennis was probably just fundamentally insane. There was no preamble to his unambiguously unhinged act; the dude simply strolled into the prep area at the start of his shift and said “hey, Taylor” to me like it was any other day… except he was carrying a sack of upchuck with him, clutching it right below the straps, as if girding the parcel to ensure he wouldn’t spill any of his cargo. My manager sent him home when she saw what was in the bag, but Dennis came back to work the very next afternoon—sans puke satchel—and the incident was never spoken of again. To this day, I cannot fathom how Dennis accumulated all that vomit, why he was hauling it around in his car, or what he was hoping to accomplish by soaking it in the same basin where we washed our pizza pans. Anyway, what I was getting at is that he didn’t especially fit the stereotype I outlined. We got along okay, though; I always made it a point to be really nice to the guy—you know, considering his alarming derangement and all.]

One of the staples of my Playstation habits in those days was the Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater series. Despite having only spent a combined total of maybe zero-point-three hours on an actual skateboard in my entire life, my best friend Andy and I logged approximately 19,000 hours guiding the avatars in those seminal games through a multitude of gravity-and-logic-defying feats which no human being could ever possibly achieve with or without a skateboard. In the real world, I probably couldn’t even pull off an elementary trick like an ollie—but in the realm of Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater I was a four-wheeled fucking god who could effortlessly grind up the side of a building, soar off the opposite edge, perform roughly nineteen twisting flips on my way back down, then execute a perfect landing on the downslope of an opportunely-placed ramp so I could launch off that and catch enough air to do nineteen more flips. Though I have never been an aficionado of that particular sporting pursuit, the Tony Hawk games were incredibly fun and offered endless replay potential due to the almost pornographic extremity of their facets. The conscientious city planners in THPS’s utopia were mindful to randomly insert dozens of half-pipes and empty swimming pools all over their towns, and none of their edifices featured a single surface that could not be utilized for some sort of astonishing aerodynamic exploit.

Instead of composing an original musical score for the series, the developers of the Pro Skater franchise rather ingeniously opted to license fifteen-or-so songs by relatively popular bands for each installment. These tunes supplied the background inspiration during gameplay, and were ostensibly chosen because they represented genres which the skater demographic enjoyed—unsurprisingly, the soundtracks predominantly relied on crowd-pleasing punk and hip-hop material (although one of the sequels featured a song by Powerman 5000, whose fanbase was roughly equivalent to the number of people who have watched Shazaam). However, a cycle of only fifteen tracks doesn’t go a very long way when it’s entirely feasible to play 100 rounds in one sitting—as Andy and I regularly did. So as you might suspect, we ended up hearing the same song-batch an incalculable number of times throughout the course of any given session, which inevitably burned every one of those tracks permanently into our brains. This is how I became intimately familiar with the band CKY, whose cut “Flesh Into Gear” appeared in one of the Tony Hawk releases and was consequently submitted for my listening pleasure hundreds upon hundreds of times.

Luckily, “Flesh Into Gear” is a really cool tune, a prime slice of appealing proto-metal with an insidiously catchy chorus and a snaking stoner-rock guitar riff that would undoubtedly inspire anyone in their right mind to rail-slide across a chain of forty conveniently-equidistant park benches. I could hardly believe a song this excellent and shrewdly-crafted was coined by an outfit like CKY, since the group’s foremost point of notoriety at the time was their drummer’s family ties to one of the cast members of Jackass—an obtuse reality television showcase for the misadventures of a squad of unabashed idiots whose misguided testosterone impelled them to launch bottle rockets out of their rectums, drink animal semen, and obsessively scour the ends of the earth searching for various objects to pummel each other’s testicles with.

My persistent exposure to “Flesh Into Gear” via Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater eventually motivated me to purchase CKY’s 2002 release Infiltrate-Destroy-Rebuild, the album the track was borrowed from. I have been spinning that disc repeatedly since I started writing this, and—while the rest of the band’s material is satisfactory but un-extraordinary—every single time “Flesh Into Gear” comes on, it instills me with a rush of delightful nostalgia. I cannot remember the last time I played any of the Pro Skater installments, but with “Flesh Into Gear” navigating my recollections just like it navigated my board-wielding avatar seventeen years ago, I can still clearly visualize the games’ indelible imagery and virtually weave my way through the vast intricacies of those levels I traversed countless times back then. And these evocations are accompanied by a flood of additional splendid reminiscences, snapshots from a far simpler and more idyllic time—perhaps my very favorite phase of my life—an era free of real jobs and real responsibilities, when on any given day my best friend and I could unreservedly spend endless hours engrossed in Playstation, and the most critical concerns in our purview were what combination of toppings we should order on our pizza and whether or not we would be able to track down an eighth so we could smoke a bowl before watching that evening’s new episode of South Park.  

This is the true and immeasurable splendor of music. Even this many years removed, I can still listen to “Flesh Into Gear” today and instantly be enveloped in those potent and wonderful memories, transported back to a comfortable living room in Lakewood, sitting in front of a big-screen television beside someone who is closer to me than a brother, our fingers frenetically tapping on the joysticks which control our destinies on the monitor, beautifully oblivious to the evaporating hours because we are twenty-one and our time seems infinite and our futures are wide open and we have a whole lifetime of escapades ahead of us. On these glorious occasions, Andy and I weren’t just mindlessly zoning out on some silly skateboarding game. We were ardently devoting ourselves to having fun, pure and unadulterated fun, the kind of serene merriment you only get to have for a woefully short yet richly blessed period of your existence, the kind of immaculate and untroubled amusement you don’t realize you won’t ever experience again until that phase of your life imperceptibly cedes to the next and the ravages of the real world begin to methodically devour your body and your soul. We were also laughing, a lot, often so vigorously and exuberantly that our giggle-fits overtook us in irrepressible paroxysms that brought tears of elation to our eyes. Simply by being in the same room with each other, we were celebrating just how special a friendship that spans literal decades truly is, and how singularly magnificent it feels to spend time with people whose mere presence has the ability to make you happy. So, it didn’t ultimately matter how many times we heard “Flesh Into Gear”. I never got sick of that song. Who could ever get sick of laughter and happiness?

The list of CKY’s quantifiable merits isn’t an especially long one. Nevertheless, they created something which conjures a surge of jubilant memories that I will never forget, and would never want to. Thus, they will always occupy a warm place in my heart, a place where they are inextricably tied to one of the most joyful epochs of my life: those euphoric and carefree days when my best friend and I had all the time in the world to listen to “Flesh Into Gear” over and over and over again while we were playing Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater.

Okay, are you ready? Here comes the Sinbad part…

In the interest of accuracy, I went online to look up the Pro Skater series and clarify which installment this particular track was used in. As I said, each of the Tony Hawk releases featured a different assortment of songs, and since Andy and I enthusiastically immersed ourselves in all of them as they came out, we heard and re-heard the music on all of those playlists accordingly. I was fairly certain “Flesh Into Gear” was part of Pro Skater 3’s soundtrack, but I wanted to verify that it hadn’t instead appeared in one of the previous games before I started waxing nostalgic here.  

What I found out is this: CKY’s song “Flesh Into Gear” did not appear in any edition of Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater. The band did indeed supply a track to THPS3, but it was an entirely different cut called “96 Quite Bitter Beings”, which I do not have in my collection because it isn’t even on the same album as “Flesh Into Gear”. This means that for the last however-many years, I have been assigning a reverent sentimental significance to a song that, for all intents and purposes, has absolutely no relevance to the detailed web of memories I have snuggled around it. The crystal-clear recollections I have of guiding a pixilated daredevil through a labyrinth of nosegrind-ready obstacles while “Flesh Into Gear” churned in the background never happened.

Shazaam.

For the record, Andy is still my best friend, and has been for 33 years and counting. Our lives have changed significantly since our Pro Skater era, but our bond has not. Though we are only able to hang out every couple months or so at present, whenever we do, we still play video games. And we still watch South Park. And we still approach ordering pizza like the medley of toppings we select are variables in an intricate and vitally-imperative equation. And we still laugh a whole fucking lot.

Sure, I miss the old days—anyone who doesn’t miss the old days obviously wasn’t doing the old days right. Yet, despite only seeing Andy a handful of times a year and having to drive two hours to Oceanside to do so, I never get so wistful for the way things were that I neglect cherishing the way things are now. I love Andy’s wife, Neisa, and I love having a front-row seat to the incredible and inspiring marriage they have built together. I absolutely adore the two remarkable humans they created, Shae and Nixon, and I consider it the most profound honor of my life to be their Uncle Taylor. There are plenty of things I would change about my own contemporary reality, but there isn’t a single thing I would change about theirs.

Still, every now and then, I do find myself wishing I could revisit that living room in Lakewood, settle down in front of that big-screen TV with Andy, turn on the Playstation, and feel as infinite and invincible and utterly content as I did back when I was a twenty-one year-old pizza conveyance professional whose universe was far too harmonious and secure to generate even an inkling of anxiety about the present, let alone the future. If I did return to that time and place, it wouldn’t be so I could instigate any sweeping amendments or pass on some sage piece of cautionary wisdom to my younger self. No, I think I would let the pages of that chapter turn exactly the way they did. Because, all things considered, spending entire days on end doing something as enchantingly frivolous as playing Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater with your best friend in the world isn’t really all that irresponsible—it’s probably precisely what life is all about. And, you know what, it wouldn’t matter to me one bit which CKY song was on the soundtrack, just as long as Andy and I were having fun while we listened to it.  

I hope you enjoyed this piece. Even though it starred Sinbad. If you don’t mind, I’m going to go ahead and roll the credits here on that poignant note. I’ll save the story about my run-in with Hungarian sex traffickers for another time.

 July 21, 2018

[junker-town]

The Patriots’ Tom Brady vs. Bill Belichick feud, explained

An ESPN report detailed a strained relationship between Belichick, Kraft, and Brady.

The New England Patriots coasted into the playoffs and are Super Bowl favorites once again, but things might not be so rosy behind the scenes. A report from ESPN’s Seth Wickersham says that tensions between the team’s twin icons, head coach Bill Belichick, and quarterback Tom Brady, have festered to the point that the situation might just be untenable going forward.

In the middle of it is Robert Kraft, the team’s owner, who inserted himself into the fray in a meeting with Belichick this season that ended with Kraft instructing his head coach to trade backup quarterback Jimmy Garoppolo, according to the report. In the end, Kraft will be tasked with trying to find a resolution between his coach and his quarterback, if finding any middle ground is even possible at this point.

In some ways it was inevitable, and it’s worth pointing out the fact that both Belichick and Brady were able to put their egos aside and get along for 17 seasons, seven Super Bowl appearances, and five wins. But nothing lasts forever.

So this is how the Patriot dynasty ends?

What are the reasons for their reported beef?

The quick version of it is this: Brady and Belichick are both “ruthless and proud self-made men, both secure though still unfinished in their legacies,” as described in the article. How do you keep that kind of ego in the same room, on the same page together for nearly two decades without it unraveling?

Things have finally come to a head over four main issues — the role of Brady’s personal trainer and business partner, Alex Guerrero; the succession plan at quarterback; Belichick’s coaching style; and irreconcilable differences over who’s responsible for the team’s unprecedented success over the years.

Guerrero, the TB12 method have created problems for Belichick and the team.

Brady’s insistence in recent years that he’ll play into his 40s stems from his relationship with Guerrero, his various training and lifestyle methods, and, as our own Matt Ufford called it, the “pseudoscientific grift” that Brady and Guerrero have built into a lifestyle business.

The faith Brady espouses in his program and its impact on his career has led to other players feeling pressured to turn to Guerrero and the TB12 method. For some it’s worked fine. Others describe it “like a cult.”

The ESPN report says players feel pressured to use the program, even over the team’s own medical and training staff. Guerrero even went so far as to blame the team’s training staff for making a few players’ injuries worse.

Guerrero pushed back against those claims in a blog post that was published Friday in response to the ESPN report:

With every one of these clients, my only goal has been to help them bring forth positive changes in their body & mind. I have always tried to be respectful of the staff each player answers to, and I have never tried to create divisiveness or conflict. My ultimate goal has always been to do my very best to help the player get back on the field and help their team. I have never had any motive other than that. My approach is and always has been to give people information based on my beliefs — then let them follow their own path toward what they believe works best for them. Ultimately every decision is up to each individual athlete.

Because of his relationship with Brady and the fact that he treated so many other players, Guerrero had nearly unlimited access to the team. But Belichick curbed that this year, exiling him from the sideline and locker room. After Belichick spelled that out in an email to Guerrero, several players reported that Guerrero had told them that Belichick had barred him from treating them. Some saw that as an attempt by Brady’s trainer to turn players against Belichick, dividing the team.

How does Jimmy Garoppolo figure into this?

Despite Brady’s claims that his TB12 program can keep him playing into his 40s like he was still young, he hasn’t been as great as he was in his 30s. Naturally, Belichick saw the need to groom a new quarterback — Jimmy Garoppolo — as Brady’s eventual replacement.

Brady and Garoppolo had an amicable relationship, but it didn’t go beyond the surface. The veteran wasn’t mentoring his potential replacement, which isn’t an especially new phenomenon in the NFL. But did Brady feel more threatened by Garoppolo than just not wanting to spend time giving him pointers on footwork?

The ESPN report relays an incident from last season, after Garoppolo hurt his shoulder in the second game of the season while filling in for the suspended Brady. Garoppolo set up a visit to the TB12 clinic, but when he showed up at the scheduled time, nobody was there. He finally got in two weeks later but only after a “high-ranking Patriots staffer” called to find out why he hadn’t been treated.

Brady started talking more with Kraft and Belichick this fall about wanting to play into his 40s, being the team’s franchise quarterback for years to come. Kraft was willing to accept that idea. But committing to Tom Brady indefinitely created a problem for the Patriots because Garoppolo, who Belichick viewed as Brady’s replacement, was scheduled to be a free agent after the 2017 season.

Belichick didn’t want to trade him.

“If we trade Jimmy, we’re the Cleveland Browns, with no succession plan,” is how one person inside the team described it.

The Patriots made a modest, $17-$18 million per year, offer, but Garoppolo and his agent, who also happens to be Brady’s agent, rejected it. After resisting lucrative offers in the spring to trade Garoppolo, Belichick was finally instructed by Kraft to trade him.

Stop here for a second and reflect on that, because it’s a MAJOR plot point in this whole thing — one that might ultimately do more to break up the Belichick-Brady-Kraft triumvirate than anything else.

Belichick has always believed that owners should not be involved in football decisions, and when that happens, he believed it was time to get out. He was “furious and demoralized” by Kraft’s order.

Following that decision, according to the report, New England’s head coach “left the impression with some friends that the current dynamic was unsustainable.”

Did Brady force the Patriots to trade Garoppolo?

No. That is not at all in the ESPN report, but the rumor circulated the night before the report was released.

Brady still denied he was happy to see Garoppolo go on his weekly radio appearance on WEEI after the ESPN story broke.

“I think that is such a poor characterization,” Brady said. “In 18 years I have never celebrated when someone has been traded, been cut. I would say that is disappointing to hear that someone would express that, or a writer would express that because it is so far from what my beliefs are about my teammates and I think I am very empathetic about other people’s experiences. I know those situations aren’t easy.”

Belichick STILL hasn’t given Brady a ‘Patriot of the Week’ award this year.

It sounds funny, because it is. But it also encapsulates the growing divide between the quarterback and the head coach.

Belichick has never accorded Brady any special treatment compared to other players. He takes his fair share of criticism, same as everyone else. In fact, he might even take more, part of the coach’s method of showing the rest of the team that no player is above, ahem, The Patriot Way.

Brady was always accepting of it, but that changed in 2017. After a win over the Texans in the playoffs last season, Belichick was reportedly a little tougher on Brady than usual over a rough outing.

“This will get us beat,” he told the team after replaying a Brady interception. “We were lucky to get away with a win.”

The coach’s style conflicts with another aspect of the TB12 method: Brady’s advocacy of positive thinking.

From the ESPN story:

Belichick’s negativity and cynicism have gotten old, Brady has told other Patriots players and staff. He feels he has accomplished enough that he shouldn’t have to endure so much grief. Patriots staffers have noticed that, this year more than ever, he seems to volley between unwavering confidence and driving insecurity. Brady has noted to staff a few times this year that no matter how many game-changing throws he makes, Belichick hasn’t awarded him Patriot of the Week all year.

For what it’s worth, Brady says he has won the award.

“I have won it plenty of times. Again, it’s hard to even answer that question. There’s really no basis for it. It’s hard to — I don’t know. I just shake my head,” Brady said, via WEEI.

What are the Patriots saying about the report?

As you’d expect, the Patriots refute any rumors about a rift:

Joint statement from Patriots Chairman and CEO Robert Kraft, Head Coach Bill Belichick and quarterback Tom Brady: http://pic.twitter.com/i555gWZIi6

— New England Patriots (@Patriots) January 5, 2018

Owner Robert Kraft told Sports Illustrated's Peter King on January 6 that he did not hold an extended meeting about quarterbacks with Belichick.

“Until Monday at the trade deadline—I believe that was Oct. 30—the last time I talked to Bill about Jimmy’s situation was in a group with Bill, [club president] Jonathan [Kraft], [director of player personnel] Nick Caserio … a small group of us, I think in June. That is the last time I talked to Bill about it. I would see Nick occasionally and say, ‘Anything going on?’

“I assumed once the season started, we’d talk again at the end of the season about it. The next time I spoke with Bill about it was the Monday before the trade deadline. He called me on that Monday and said he got a deal with San Francisco, Jimmy for a second-round pick and [quarterback] Brian Hoyer. Turns out they had to cut Hoyer and then we got him. But really, this was basically a second-round pick and Brian Hoyer for Jimmy. Bill asked me if I was OK with this. I was really taken aback a little bit. I wanted to think about it. I talked to Jonathan, who was okay with it, and I called Bill back and said, ‘OK.’”

Kraft also said Wickersham's story was “a total fabrication and fiction. I am telling you, it’s fiction.” He also shot down reports of trading Belichick, too. Despite the numerous reports, Kraft praised the five-time Super Bowl-winning head coach.

"When you’re lucky enough to have someone exceptional, you let them do their job and you get out of the way.”

But keeping Brady and Garoppolo, according to Kraft, would have been difficult. He said New England would have had to place a franchise tag on Garoppolo to keep him for another season.

Bill Belichick also said that he plans to coach the Patriots in 2018. When asked, he said, “Absolutely.”

What happens next?

Kraft was supposed to meet with Brady and Belichick in December, but that didn’t happen. He’s expected to sit down with them at some point during the offseason, after their playoff run, in an attempt to find a solution.

Offensive coordinator Josh McDaniels and defensive coordinator Matt Patricia are both expected to take head coaching jobs this year. (Belichick has spent time this year getting both ready for head coaching jobs, something he doesn’t usually do to a large extent.) Indoctrinating a new staff, building a team around a quarterback in his 40s, and trying to find and groom a new quarterback this year may be more than Belichick wants to do next season, not to mention dealing with Brady’s personal fitness guru.

So it shouldn’t be too surprising that rumors are already circulating of a possible exit for Belichick after the playoffs. According to the New York Daily News, the vacancy with the New York Giants is an attractive option that Belichick has noticed. With the Giants, Belichick would have the No. 3 pick in the 2018 NFL Draft to work with.

As the Patriots get ready to make a run at a sixth Super Bowl win, it’s impossible to overlook the fact that even another Lombardi Trophy might not be enough to hold the dynasty together.

One thing’s for sure — the idea of another Patriots Super Bowl run was anathema to most fans. Not anymore.

The Pats turned Deflategate into a positive with the Garoppolo trade

[junker-town]

The Patriots’ Tom Brady vs. Bill Belichick feud, explained

An ESPN report detailed a strained relationship between Belichick, Kraft, and Brady.

The New England Patriots coasted into the playoffs and are Super Bowl favorites once again, but things might not be so rosy behind the scenes. A report from ESPN’s Seth Wickersham says that tensions between the team’s twin icons, head coach Bill Belichick, and quarterback Tom Brady, have festered to the point that the situation might just be untenable going forward.

In the middle of it is Robert Kraft, the team’s owner, who inserted himself into the fray in a meeting with Belichick this season that ended with Kraft instructing his head coach to trade backup quarterback Jimmy Garoppolo, according to the report. In the end, Kraft will be tasked with trying to find a resolution between his coach and his quarterback, if finding any middle ground is even possible at this point.

In some ways it was inevitable, and it’s worth pointing out the fact that both Belichick and Brady were able to put their egos aside and get along for 17 seasons, seven Super Bowl appearances, and five wins. But nothing lasts forever.

So this is how the Patriot dynasty ends?

What are the reasons for their reported beef?

The quick version of it is this: Brady and Belichick are both “ruthless and proud self-made men, both secure though still unfinished in their legacies,” as described in the article. How do you keep that kind of ego in the same room, on the same page together for nearly two decades without it unraveling?

Things have finally come to a head over four main issues — the role of Brady’s personal trainer and business partner, Alex Guerrero; the succession plan at quarterback; Belichick’s coaching style; and irreconcilable differences over who’s responsible for the team’s unprecedented success over the years.

Guerrero, the TB12 method have created problems for Belichick and the team.

Brady’s insistence in recent years that he’ll play into his 40s stems from his relationship with Guerrero, his various training and lifestyle methods, and, as our own Matt Ufford called it, the “pseudoscientific grift” that Brady and Guerrero have built into a lifestyle business.

The faith Brady espouses in his program and its impact on his career has led to other players feeling pressured to turn to Guerrero and the TB12 method. For some it’s worked fine. Others describe it “like a cult.”

The ESPN report says players feel pressured to use the program, even over the team’s own medical and training staff. Guerrero even went so far as to blame the team’s training staff for making a few players’ injuries worse.

Guerrero pushed back against those claims in a blog post that was published Friday in response to the ESPN report:

With every one of these clients, my only goal has been to help them bring forth positive changes in their body & mind. I have always tried to be respectful of the staff each player answers to, and I have never tried to create divisiveness or conflict. My ultimate goal has always been to do my very best to help the player get back on the field and help their team. I have never had any motive other than that. My approach is and always has been to give people information based on my beliefs — then let them follow their own path toward what they believe works best for them. Ultimately every decision is up to each individual athlete.

Because of his relationship with Brady and the fact that he treated so many other players, Guerrero had nearly unlimited access to the team. But Belichick curbed that this year, exiling him from the sideline and locker room. After Belichick spelled that out in an email to Guerrero, several players reported that Guerrero had told them that Belichick had barred him from treating them. Some saw that as an attempt by Brady’s trainer to turn players against Belichick, dividing the team.

How does Jimmy Garoppolo figure into this?

Despite Brady’s claims that his TB12 program can keep him playing into his 40s like he was still young, he hasn’t been as great as he was in his 30s. Naturally, Belichick saw the need to groom a new quarterback — Jimmy Garoppolo — as Brady’s eventual replacement.

Brady and Garoppolo had an amicable relationship, but it didn’t go beyond the surface. The veteran wasn’t mentoring his potential replacement, which isn’t an especially new phenomenon in the NFL. But did Brady feel more threatened by Garoppolo than just not wanting to spend time giving him pointers on footwork?

The ESPN report relays an incident from last season, after Garoppolo hurt his shoulder in the second game of the season while filling in for the suspended Brady. Garoppolo set up a visit to the TB12 clinic, but when he showed up at the scheduled time, nobody was there. He finally got in two weeks later but only after a “high-ranking Patriots staffer” called to find out why he hadn’t been treated.

Brady started talking more with Kraft and Belichick this fall about wanting to play into his 40s, being the team’s franchise quarterback for years to come. Kraft was willing to accept that idea. But committing to Tom Brady indefinitely created a problem for the Patriots because Garoppolo, who Belichick viewed as Brady’s replacement, was scheduled to be a free agent after the 2017 season.

Belichick didn’t want to trade him.

“If we trade Jimmy, we’re the Cleveland Browns, with no succession plan,” is how one person inside the team described it.

The Patriots made a modest, $17-$18 million per year, offer, but Garoppolo and his agent, who also happens to be Brady’s agent, rejected it. After resisting lucrative offers in the spring to trade Garoppolo, Belichick was finally instructed by Kraft to trade him.

Stop here for a second and reflect on that, because it’s a MAJOR plot point in this whole thing — one that might ultimately do more to break up the Belichick-Brady-Kraft triumvirate than anything else.

Belichick has always believed that owners should not be involved in football decisions, and when that happens, he believed it was time to get out. He was “furious and demoralized” by Kraft’s order.

Following that decision, according to the report, New England’s head coach “left the impression with some friends that the current dynamic was unsustainable.”

Did Brady force the Patriots to trade Garoppolo?

No. That is not at all in the ESPN report, but the rumor circulated the night before the report was released.

Belichick STILL hasn’t given Brady a ‘Patriot of the Week’ award this year.

It sounds funny, because it is. But it also encapsulates the growing divide between the quarterback and the head coach.

Belichick has never accorded Brady any special treatment compared to other players. He takes his fair share of criticism, same as everyone else. In fact, he might even take more, part of the coach’s method of showing the rest of the team that no player is above, ahem, The Patriot Way.

Brady was always accepting of it, but that changed in 2017. After a win over the Texans in the playoffs last season, Belichick was reportedly a little tougher on Brady than usual over a rough outing.

“This will get us beat,” he told the team after replaying a Brady interception. “We were lucky to get away with a win.”

The coach’s style conflicts with another aspect of the TB12 method: Brady’s advocacy of positive thinking.

From the ESPN story:

Belichick’s negativity and cynicism have gotten old, Brady has told other Patriots players and staff. He feels he has accomplished enough that he shouldn’t have to endure so much grief. Patriots staffers have noticed that, this year more than ever, he seems to volley between unwavering confidence and driving insecurity. Brady has noted to staff a few times this year that no matter how many game-changing throws he makes, Belichick hasn’t awarded him Patriot of the Week all year.

What are the Patriots saying about the report?

As you’d expect, the Patriots refute any rumors about a rift:

Joint statement from Patriots Chairman and CEO Robert Kraft, Head Coach Bill Belichick and quarterback Tom Brady: http://pic.twitter.com/i555gWZIi6

— New England Patriots (@Patriots) January 5, 2018

Owner Robert Kraft told Sports Illustrated's Peter King on January 6 that he did not hold an extended meeting about quarterbacks with Belichick.

“Until Monday at the trade deadline—I believe that was Oct. 30—the last time I talked to Bill about Jimmy’s situation was in a group with Bill, [club president] Jonathan [Kraft], [director of player personnel] Nick Caserio … a small group of us, I think in June. That is the last time I talked to Bill about it. I would see Nick occasionally and say, ‘Anything going on?’

“I assumed once the season started, we’d talk again at the end of the season about it. The next time I spoke with Bill about it was the Monday before the trade deadline. He called me on that Monday and said he got a deal with San Francisco, Jimmy for a second-round pick and [quarterback] Brian Hoyer. Turns out they had to cut Hoyer and then we got him. But really, this was basically a second-round pick and Brian Hoyer for Jimmy. Bill asked me if I was OK with this. I was really taken aback a little bit. I wanted to think about it. I talked to Jonathan, who was okay with it, and I called Bill back and said, ‘OK.’”

Kraft also said Wickersham's story was “a total fabrication and fiction. I am telling you, it’s fiction.” He also shot down reports of trading Belichick, too. Despite the numerous reports, Kraft praised the five-time Super Bowl-winning head coach.

"When you’re lucky enough to have someone exceptional, you let them do their job and you get out of the way.”

But keeping Brady and Garoppolo, according to Kraft, would have been difficult. He said New England would have had to place a franchise tag on Garoppolo to keep him for another season.

Bill Belichick also said that he plans to coach the Patriots in 2018. When asked, he said, “Absolutely.”

What happens next?

Kraft was supposed to meet with Brady and Belichick in December, but that didn’t happen. He’s expected to sit down with them at some point during the offseason, after their playoff run, in an attempt to find a solution.

Offensive coordinator Josh McDaniels and defensive coordinator Matt Patricia are both expected to take head coaching jobs this year. (Belichick has spent time this year getting both ready for head coaching jobs, something he doesn’t usually do to a large extent.) Indoctrinating a new staff, building a team around a quarterback in his 40s, and trying to find and groom a new quarterback this year may be more than Belichick wants to do next season, not to mention dealing with Brady’s personal fitness guru.

So it shouldn’t be too surprising that rumors are already circulating of a possible exit for Belichick after the playoffs. According to the New York Daily News, the vacancy New York Giants is an attractive option that Belichick has noticed. With the Giants, Belichick would have the No. 3 pick in the 2018 NFL Draft to work with.

As the Patriots get ready to make a run at a sixth Super Bowl win, it’s impossible to overlook the fact that even another Lombardi Trophy might not be enough to hold the dynasty together.

One thing’s for sure — the idea of another Patriots Super Bowl run was anathema to most fans. Not anymore.

The Pats turned Deflategate into a positive with the Garoppolo trade