#sanja ilic i balkanika | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

borisbubbles · 6 years ago

Text

16. SERBIA

Balkanika - “Nova Deca” 19th place

youtube

Out of all the positive morphs I experienced this year, Serbia was the one that I suspected the least. I never hated them the way others did, but eh, I didn’t think highly of them either. Especially when the backstage clips showed them enterting the stage dressed up like members of some inauspicious fertility cult. “Oh.” I thought. “Another Genealogy. Except it won’t make the final. Whatever, NEXT”

How wrong I was though, because it did qualify and caused me to re-evaluate all I knew about life and come to the fucking conclusion that... this is really fucking good??? HOW is an exaggerated mess that has accurately been described as “Balkan Megamix Volume 3″ this great?

I actually don’t have a clear answer for this as i’m writing this down (we haven’t reached the songs I would spam the replay button on yet), but the core of it is that Balkanika tried REALLY hard to condense 900+ years worth of Balkanic musical tradition in a mere three minutes and fucking pulled it off by... striking battle poses like some Ethno-Power Rangers

GO GO BALKAN RANGERS!!!

The choreography as a whole is just so extra and beautifully overacted. The entire way through, the members of Balkanika strike poses as if in Madonna’s “Vogue”, guided on by the beguiling tunes conjured by Ljubomir’s magic whistle-wand [ed.: here’s the best gif i could make of Old Rasflutin’s background flailing, but it’s way funnier if you pay attention to his presence as you watch “Nova Deca” unfold, so SCROLL UP AND REWATCH RIGHT NAO!!!]:

Such a beautiful presence we’re not worthy of, y’all. All while the rest of Balkanika are either serving some epic 90 Percussion realness:

or chanelling some Project: Waters of Life sillyness

This could have so easily turned into a San Marinese goopy mess (which I don’t think too highly of, as you know), and briefly it looked like this would be the case; Instead, we found something better.

The plain answer however, lies in that Balkanika didn’t try to be funny and that makes a massive difference. Every piece of overacting, from Mladen’s creepy stares to Ra-Ra-Rasflutin (Serbia’s greatest love machine) prodding the action on from the background, is the product of intense belief and dedication, which... makes it hysterical, but in an endearing sort of way. Balkanika really just can’t help themselves. <3

However, as I have to take things into account other than just act, I can’t really drag Balkanika much higher than this. Their song, while cool in concept, is kinda a bit too overloaded with quirks, which are largely lost to me because you know, show-stopping staging. (lol I just realized this is such a reverse “O jardim”, how neat they will now be forever ranked next to one another in this ranking). “Nova Deca” also suffers from the fact that I already had a large slew of other faves before I started to love them. As a whole, I think they have the least to offer of those left in the ranking. Oh well, at least we’ll forever have this:

RANKING SO FAR:

16. Serbia (Balkanika - “Nova Deca”)

17. Portugal (Cláudia Pascoal - “O jardim”)

18. The Netherlands (Waylon - “Outlaw in ‘em”)

19. Ukraine (MÉLOVIN - “Under the ladder”)

20. Macedonia (Eye Cue - “Lost and Found”)

21. San Marino (Jessika ft. Jenifer Brening - “Who We Are”)

22. Sweden (Benjamin Ingrosso - “Dance You Off”)

23. Austria (Cesár Sampson - “Nobody but you”)

24. Latvia (Laura Rizzotto - “Funny girl”)

25. Azerbaijan (AISEL - “X my heart”)

26. Israel (Netta - “Toy”)

27. Norway (Alexander Rybak - “That’s how you write a song”)

28. Montenegro (Vanja Radovanovic - “Inje”)

29. Armenia (Sevak Khanagyan - “Qami”)

30. Poland (Gromee ft. Lukas Meijer - “Light me up”)

31. Greece (Yianna Terzi - “Oniro mou”)

32. Georgia (Iriao - “For you”)

33. Belgium (Sennek - “A matter of time”)

34. Italy (Ermal Meta & Fabrizio Moro - “Non mi avete fatto niente)

35. Romania (The Humans - “Goodbye”)

36. Ireland (Ryan O'Shaughnessy - “Together”)

37. Croatia (Franka - “Crazy”)

38. Belarus (ALEKSEEV - “Forever”)

39. Russia (Julia Samoylova - “I Won’t Break”)

40. Spain (Amaia & Alfred - “Tu canción”)

41. Iceland (Ari Ólafsson - “Our choice”)

42. Australia (Jessica Mauboy - “We Got Love”)

43. Czech Republic (Mikolas Josef - “Lie to me”)

FOOTNOTES (optional)

1) I decided not to credit Sanja Ilic simply because he wasn’t on the stage and I feel it’s kinda unfair to credit him just based on his merit as a composer, while Isaura composed AND performed second fiddle to Cláudia, without a letter of on-screen credit.

2) Re: Intentional vs Unintentional humour: The reason why intentional humour rarely works for me is that it comes with the built-in pressure to laugh, which... makes me less inclined to find something funny because it kinda takes away the choice element of it. Like, I think I have a fairly okay sense of humour, I can decide for myself what I find funny, you know? This is why intentional humour rarely works for me, while unintentional humour nearly always does. For reference, dial back to where I ranked Israel and Norway and Czechia and San Marino (or “Yodel it” and “Space” from last year), all acts that piggybacked on scripted humour

3) DoReDos are one of the few instances this year where intentional humour totally worked for me, although I also realize they’ve largely been hit-or-miss. But we won’t be discussing that soon.

4) Me being a history nerd, I also think the idea of “weaving a song out of literally every Serbian musical quirk ever” is a really cool song concept. It really comes close to an earnest, Balkanic version of “Swedish Smörgåsbord” <3 5) “Nova Deca” is a way more accurate representation of what actual balkan music sounds like (as opposed to the tiresome, tedious, boring Balkan Ballad). The Folk music channels in Bulgaria, for instance play “Nova Deca”-esque songs all day. 6) A funny argument between my mom and I occured during this song. My mom, who is Bulgarian, argued that Balkanika plagiarized their song from Bulgarian Polyphonic Singing. When I pointed out the song was based on the Byzantine musical traditions, she claimed that the Byzantines stole them from the Bulgarians, which is historically implausible (see note 8). This is one of many reasons I think little of ethnocentrism and nationalism, especially from the Slavs and Greeks. Everyone accuses one another of cultural appropriation (see again: Macedoniagate), when in fact, their geographical proximity exposed them to similar cultural ideas and their geopolitics (warmongering) turned it into a mutually unintelligible wash.

7) Besides, the entire point of the Balkans is that they support each other due to their cultural similarities in spite of wishing horrific, painful deaths on one another. <3

8) HISTORY LESSONS WITH BORIS #1: Polyphonic Singing. Polyphonic singing evolved as a Byzantine response to Roman Catholic liturgical chanting (instituted by Charlemagne, who as Holy Roman Emperor, took measures in making the religion more accessible to the common folk. How do we make the Bible popular? By teaching rich people how to read! What a genius. <3 ). Thus, polyphony spread as Byzantine Christianity spread, which would later become Eastern Orthodoxy after the East-West Schism in the 11th century AD. (hence why polyphony is such a big cultural benchmark all Eastern Orthodox nations, including Russia and Georgia, but not Armenia until their annexation by the Russian Empire in the 19th Century AD (since Armenian Christianity is a cadet branch of Oriental Orthodoxy, which split from Catholicism in the 4th century AD). Anyway, Bulgaria historically played a massive role in spreading Christianity and its liturgical chanting to their pagan Balkan neighbours, after the Bulgarian Knyaz (a fancy way of saying “Khan”) Boris I converted under the pressure of Byzantine Emperor Michael III. Boris (whom, as you might have guessed, I was named after) used Christianity to pacify the squabbling lords of his realm (which included both pagans and Catholics) and oversaw the creation of the Glagolitic (liturgical) and Cyrrilic scripts to speed up the spread, paving the way for Bulgaria’s Golden Age under his son Simeon. During that Golden Age, btw, much of what is now Serbia came under Bulgarian control, including Belgrade. So while the Serbs probably did learn polyphony from the Bulgarians, the Bulgarians absolutely, totally, learned it from the Byzantines, who invented the damn’ thing, in their own spin on Charlemagne’s popular church choirs. Mum, you’re WRONG. O:-)

#Eurovision #Eurovision Song Contest #Eurovision 2018 #Serbia #Balkanika #Sanja Ilic #Nova Deca

27 notes · View notes

popblank · 7 years ago

Text

Eurovision Grand Final thoughts (late as usual for the final):

Ukraine, Melovin, "Under the Ladder" - I think I would appreciate his performance more with a different song. But as Eurovision vampires go, he was pretty good.

Spain, Amaia y Alfred, "Tu canción" - Better than the official video version. Works well with a simple staging; I liked the way the bridges were lit.

Slovenia, Lea Sirk, "Hvala ne!" - Obviously the “surprise” was gone but that was a good, proactive way to set up the pause.

Lithuania, Ieva Zasimauskaitė, "When We're Old" - Sounded extra-fragile at the beginning. Her voice sounds better to me when she sings out in the chorus.

Austria, Cesár Sampson, "Nobody but You" - It’s fine? That must have been some jury performance.

Estonia, Elina Nechayeva, "La forza" - This is where I realized I was behind a little bit and skipped forward to get back to the live stream. Still caught the last thirty seconds or so and it seemed like she really turned it up for the final (as did several other contestants).

Norway, Alexander Rybak, "That's How You Write A Song" - I keep hearing how his charisma is off the charts, pulls the song through etc. This is one of those things I probably will never understand.

Portugal, Cláudia Pascoal, "O Jardim" - A good song to listen to late at night after a long day, preferably with a drink in hand. Nice to hear how well-received it was in the venue, even as the home team.

United Kingdom, SuRie, "Storm" - I am smiling at how much the crowd likes to sing along to the chorus WTF. [<--Typed as I watched the performance.] She came back admirably.

Serbia, Sanja Ilic & Balkanika, "Nova Deca" - Had difficulty paying attention to this song because I was still thinking about SuRie's reaction after that jerk [<--deleted something less polite] showed up.

Germany, Michael Schulte, "You Let Me Walk Alone" - It is possible to overuse LED screens, but I still prefer them to the TV graphics.

Albania, Eugent Bushpepa, "Mall" - Whoa, he is breaking out the vocal fireworks.

France, Madame Monsieur, "Mercy" - Very nice even though I never understood why this was considered a potential winner. The crowd arm motion must be more effective in person. Random observation: whoever was waving the rainbow flag in front of them at the end found a perfect spot – it looked very cool, great lighting and contrast.

Czech Republic, Mikolas Josef, "Lie to Me" - This song is sung from the perspective of a person I don’t want to sympathize with and I can't get past that. But good for him for managing the moves successfully.

Denmark, Rasmussen, "Higher Ground" - This was my "go get something to drink" song. I do think it was better than in the semi, like he found an extra level at the end.

Australia, Jessica Mauboy, "We Got Love" - Dunno if I like the song (do kind of like the drums), but I ended up feeling generally positive about Jessica Mauboy. Vocals were a bit rough in spots but she seemed more comfortable than in the semifinal.

Finland, Saara Aalto, "Monsters" - I laughed at her upside-down "thank you so much!"

Bulgaria, Equinox, "Bones" - Bulgaria have done a pretty good job of capturing a mood.

Moldova, DoReDoS, "My Lucky Day" – Still fun to watch.

Sweden, Benjamin Ingrosso, "Dance You Off" - Maybe I should stop watching Melodifestivalen. By the time the winner gets to Eurovision, I lose interest (Loreen excepted).

Hungary, AWS, "Viszlát Nyár" - Much to my surprise, I got slight chills watching this. This was the only performance that did that this week.

Israel, Netta, "Toy" - Better energy than in the semi.

The Netherlands, Waylon, "Outlaw in 'Em" - This song is just not the type of country I enjoy.

Ireland, Ryan O'Shaughnessy, "Together" - Once the dancers appear I am pretty much just interested in watching them.

Cyprus, Eleni Foureira, "Fuego" - Does that recipe have tomatoes, blueberries, capers, and thyme? Hmmm. The TV graphics are reasonably well-integrated into the performance and theme.

Italy, Ermal Meta & Fabrizio Moro, "Non me avete fatto niente" - With most onscreen graphics I end up wondering what the live audience is seeing. These did provide more meaning than I would have had otherwise, but it was easier for me to mostly focus on the singers.

Results: Not disappointed. In the end there is still only one song I bought and am likely to listen to later (”Hvala ne!”), but the show was pretty entertaining.

Post-Eurovision to-do list:

Look up fado

Consider a trip to Portugal (good job Portuguese tourism board)

Try to make the dish in the Cyprus postcard

#eurovision #eurovision 2018

5 notes · View notes

blamebrampton · 7 years ago

Text

Eurovision 2018 final

And now, 12 hours after the rest of the world, and startlingly unspoiled, I hit the finals! I’ve not been recapping the touristy bits in the ‘postcards’, but if you’re thinking about visiting Lisbon, or Portugal in general, get to it; it’s utterly gorgeous. I’m hoping for somewhere in the top 10 for Jess, and I wouldn’t mind seeing Denmark win. They won’t. It’ll be someone awful, I just know it.

We open with fado music and it is pretty bloody splendid: melodic twanging steel strings and a heart-rending woman’s voice singing a song that is almost certainly of woe but resilience (my Portuguese is terrible). There are no unattractive people in this broadcast, it should be mentioned. Yet another reason to visit!

Another hot fado female vocalist, this time with drummers. She sounds more political, but again, I have no idea. I do know that Portugal is a country that has an amazing tradition of vocalists and narrative music, and I think we are seeing it shown well tonight. I like this a lot better than the usual blather from presenters. Though I like the women, they are admirably quick at moving things along.

And now some local DJs. Look, it was never going to stay glorious. Flags go past. There are many. We are welcomed to the grand final and the crowd goes wild. Hello contestants, I’m thrilled you get a moment in the sun before the horror of the contest descends. They are all smiling and lovely and I hope they all go on to have happy lives. Denmark are actually amusing! Bless their hairy hipster hearts!

You know, I can honestly say that everyone I’ve heard in this final can actually sing and on that basis alone, 2018 is already a good year.

The presenters are back. NCIS is dressed like a Goth prom queen, Blondie is wearing a beaded shower curtain, Saintly is cosplaying a tall Kylie Minogue (I loathe the fact I need to specify Kylies these days) and Little One has come dressed as an entrant from Greece. I actually know all their names now, but they’re longer, so it’s nicknames for me, I’m afraid.

I’m not going to repeat performance notes from the semi finals, but if you’ve missed every other piece of Eurovision commentary, a. Well done! b. What the hell are you doing here? c. I’ll let you know if anything new happens.

Ukraine, Melovin, Under the Ladder. Now I’m not focusing on the madness of the staging, I can mention that he and his backing singers are selling the hell out of this one. I like it a lot better the second time around, and the vocals are tight. It’s still a totally nuts Dracula moment, but if it wins I will not be at all upset.

Spain, Amaia y Alfred, Tu Cancion. Arena full of people holding up their lit phones. Young people singing to each other from opposite sides of the stage. It’s all very sweet. Now they are holding hands. Now they are hugging. Keep it nice, kids, you’ve got two minutes to go. They are lovely, but so wholesome that I feel listening to this song represents 100% of my daily intake of Vitamin C and roughage. Nice climbing crescendos and key change towards the end. Big lights, earnest singing into each other’s faces… this is a song that speaks of carefully studied microphone angles and breath mints. Bless.

Slovenia, Lea Sirk, Hvala, ne! This is the one that stuck with me since I last saw it, but more for the snappiness of the staging and performances than for the song itself. They are enormously charismatic and the choreography is very well put out there. She changes it up tonight and tells them to stop the music and has the audience sing the refrain with her, which I really liked and thought much more successful than the fake cut in the semis, even if the chap in the audience the camera cut to was clearly wondering what the hell was happening and whether he had accidentally eaten the wrong brownies before he headed out tonight. I’m keen on these girls and hope they do well!

Lithuania, Ieva Zasimauskaite, When We’re Old. Sweet whispering song girl is back. She remains sweet and whispery. She and Joanna Newsome would make a lovely duet. Her voice is genuinely delightful, though there is a little more assist in the reverb than she needs: makes it all sound a bit more Jared Leto than is optimal. But I quibble, she is a delight. Her husband comes to join her at the end again and she seems deeply moved. Bodes well for their future.

Austria, Cesar Sampson, Nobody But You. I resent Cesar’s bad T-shirt more than in the semis, because he is a hot young man and we should be allowed to enjoy him in all his loveliness and that plasticky bit is very distracting. The backing vocals in this track are probably the best in the whole contest, and he has a beautiful voice that I hope to hear more of. In a perfect world, John Legend writes a better version of La La Land in which this chap and his best friend come to LA to pursue their dreams and both succeed without hurting each other. It’s actually a decent song, it just sounds like a lot of other decent songs. But his performance is something very special.

Estonia, Elina Necheyava, La forza. She is lovely, her frock is lovely, her voice is lovely, this song is not going to win. Which is a shame, because I would like to see the ECS back in Tallinn. If they had a European Frock Contest, this would be douze points from everyone.

Norway, Alexander Rybak, That’s How You Write A Song. He is a super chap and I hope he does win Eurovision twice, but if he does it with this song, I will be looking at the countries that vote for it with thinly veiled disdain. This is the sort of song that would have had Paula Abdul dancing with an animated cat in the 1980s. But I will say that it is lovely to have him back so that Nigel Kennedy will finally have to give up any idea that he’s the hot young man with the violin. The crown, which was never really Nigel’s, is clearly Alexander’s.

Portugal, Claudia Pasqoal, O Jardim. Pink hair gets an extra 10 points from me to start with. Sounds like London Grammar, in both tune and delivery, but since I love them, that’s fine. Her frock is a nice wrap-around black number with thigh split. She’s joined on stage by a woman who looks a bit like Kirsten Stewart, and the two of them are in fact much cooler than practically everyone else in the stadium. That was a nice soft song that you would wrap up a big night or start a romance with and I liked it a lot. I want to see it in the top five, but not winning, because it’s too expensive to do this two years in a row!

The presenters make a knowing reference to the queerness of Eurovision and it comes off as an inside joke not an arch piece of commentary, and this is the point at which I accept that I have fallen for their charms and will never be free of this annual horror.

United Kingdom, SuRie, Storm. We’ve done something unusual this year and sent someone good. It won’t help, but it’s a pleasant change. More pink hair, with a sort of Annie Lennox hair and jumpsuit arrangement. I hate to say this, but this song is actually pretty damned good. What the hell? We’re usually awful. The staging is admirably simple and the performance is a cracker, and there is some fuckwit invading the stage to shout something and WELL DONE YOU, YOUNG WOMAN, you held that together amazingly! She is in fact bringing it even more strongly, even though the incident clearly affected her. How amazing is she! ‘Some absolute cockhead’ is the Australian boy commentator’s description of the stage invader and he is 100% on the money.

They skip to the green room with Little One while they deal with the stage invader situation and she is talking to vampire boy from the Ukraine who offers to bite her neck and talks about his personal brand. If he doesn’t have 100,000 followers on Instagram and a YouTube ‘presence’, I will be very surprised.

Back to the show!

Serbia, Sanja Ilic & Balkanika, Nova Deca. This song remains as OTT and epic as in the semis with costumes and wailing mysticism that puts me in mind of nothing so much as one of those epic episodes of Xena that your girlfriends used to trot out in the 90s to talk about when lesbian subtext becomes text. It’s classic Eurovision and if it wins I will be thrilled.

Germany, Michael Schulte, You Let Me Walk Alone. It’s apparently a song to his father, who died when he was young, and it’s got a hell of a dose of the Ed Sheerans, from the hair to the singing style. It’s saved from the annoying side of the Sheerans by the personal message, which comes through strongly. Though it’s a little unfair in the ‘you will never know, because you let me walk this road alone’, unless his father took his own life. Just saying. Exactly the right mix of sentiment and ten-year-old newness that could win, thanks to a very strong performance.

Albania, Eugent Bushpepa, Mall. I was surprised by how much I enjoyed this song in the semis and I am still surprised about it now. It’s everything I would usually mock, including a safe 80s chord sequence and handclapping, but it somehow works superbly and he looks a little nervous, yet has an actually superior classic rock voice, instead of the standard ‘thinks is great, is OK’ frontman. I think the dungaree drummer, who has done both of his straps up tonight, has won me over.

France, Madame Monsieur, Mercy. It’s political! And about refugees. And my French isn’t good enough to follow it entirely, but she is all the children, her name is Mercy and she is fleeing war and is alive and she needs our help. It’s actually a cracker of a tune, and the Jean-Paul Gaultier outfits are the classiest of the evening. Far too attractive for this shindig.

Czech Republic, Mikolas Josef, Lie to Me. I think what troubles me most about this song is that I keep expecting Will Smith to appear. Much as in the semis. They are perfectly good, it is just not my cup of tea. Nice little flip at the end, and the dancing is excellent. Bless em.

Denmark, Rasmussen, Higher Ground. I’m putting this out there: I think I want these guys to win. But it’s entirely based on the fact they are singing about pacifist vikings and I have mentally built them up into a rejection of toxic masculinity in favour of human decency and manliness meaning things like facing your fears and having integrity, which I can get behind. If there is a MeToo/Weinstein moment for any of these chaps, I’m coming after them with an axe. I do like a Wailing Medjeval Epic though.

Australia, Jessica Mauboy, We Got Love. Jess is gorgeous and she loves a crowd, which is good because the crowd loves her. Every lovely thing I said about her in the semis remains true. Alas, it also remains true that this song could be better. But it’s grown on me. We may be powerless to bring down the US government, and its lesser evils the UK and Australian governments, but we’ve got love and regular elections, and New Zealand, and it will be OK in the end. She’s a champion and I hope she makes the top five!

Saintly and Blondie are back mocking social media and rightly so.

Now NCIS is eulogising the first winner of the Eurovision Song Contest, Lys Assia, who died at the age of 94 in March. For five seconds. There’s efficient and there’s cold, ladies.

Finland, Saara Aalto, Monsters. This is the other song I want to win, though I have to confess I wouldn’t mind if the UK won, after SuRie’s amazing turn. But Saara’s voice fills the stadium and sails up and down the scale. Still with the Annie Lennox Bondage Backup Dancers, which makes two tributes to Scotland’s finest Oscar winner in the one show. I’m slightly less convinced by the song the second time round, but the performance is great. Her backwards death dive at the end is a cracker!

Bulgaria, Equinox, Bones. This song remains all about the girl’s Heey-yays for me and nothing has changed. It’s another one that is very good, just not for me. Cup of tea time! Good lighting at the end. T2’s Turkish Apple is definitely the right tea for tonight!

Moldova, DoReDoS, My Lucky Day. Kids, I am all for polyamory, but it should be based on mutual communication, not sneaking about. It turns out well for them, though, and it’s a fun song.

Little One is here with the audience and everyone is Very Drunk. I think she is trying to pick up a tall British girl, and I like her even more.

Sweden, Benjamin Ingrosso, Dance You Off. This is a favourite with the punters but not with me. Soz, Ben.

Hungary, AWS, Viszlát Nyár. It’s the lovely Lordi Lite lads and while I respect his vocal cords for surviving the sustained abuse, I am skipping through this one as it’s getting late here and there are hours of judging to go.

Israel, Netta, Toy. The Aussie commentators have mentioned that she would have broken a stage invader and I think this true. She looks as though she would have enjoyed it, too. I feel you, Netta. The chicken bits are a bit distracting, but she sells the hell out of this and it’s bright and bouncy. Another one I won’t mind winning. Also, more pink hair. I was clearly two years ahead of the curve on that one.

The Netherlands, Waylon, Outlaw in ’Em. Apparently, Waylon is cool with people who don’t really like country. Which is good news. I do like country if it’s Johnny Cash or Dolly Parton, but yeah, on this one we’re just going to have to quietly share a beer and talk about something else, Waylon. You’re a good chap and your band is excellent, so if you win I won’t be upset, even if I still don’t like this song. It’s just my taste rather than there being anything objectively bad about it. Hang on: turns out the band are the dancers. They are going off and taking the piss in epic quantities and I like it quite a bit more after that.

Ireland, Ryan O’Shaugnessey, Together. Apparently China cut the broadcast of this one due to the gay backup dancers and Eurovision cut their contract in response. Well done, Eurovision! This song remains sweet and beautifully performed, with the backup dancers really carrying the whole show. But there’s not a lot to it aside from the lovely staging.

Cyprus, Eleni Fouriera, Fuego. Another one I will not be surprised if it wins. Spectacular combination of song and performance, with fabulous backing dancers/singers (again, the best combo set). If Beyonce came to Eurovision in disguise, this would be her performance, and I am reading the whole thing as a tribute to Queen Bey, which is pretty easy given that practically every aspect of it references her. She is nervous as hell at the end, but the performance was stonkingly good.

Italy, Ermal Meta and Fabrizio Moro, Non me avete fatto niente. Written in response to the bombing in Manchester, this is a strongly serious track from a country that can often be flippant at Eurovision and in the first thirty seconds we see the passionate political engagement that explains the entirety of Italian politics. It’s a strong piece and well performed, including wailing hero notes towards the end and overlays in the various languages of Europe declaring defiance to terrorism. I think it might be in with a shot.

Presenters have had a costume change. NCIS is Morticia Addams, Blondie is Meryl Streep circa 1988, Saintly is Sophia Loren circa 1968 and Little One has come as a Glomesh handbag. Oh, holy moly, it’s recap time before the votes. We learn that SuRie was invited to perform again and has decided not to. Bless her toughness! I am fast forwarding through this as life is too short.

Blondie’s cleavage is plunging to her belly button and I am just impressed by the amount of double-sided tape holding that outfit together. The interval act is local musicians, who are splendid, but I need to get a few things done while I listen, so you go and download it from the official site. Worth your time!

Another recap, more fast forwarding. Australia’s commentary team are doubling as the royal wedding commentators and I think I might actually catch that on SBS as it would be a bit of a giggle. It’s Australia’s multicultural channel and I love it because it’s full of international films and news, but I have an American friend who refers to it as ‘That channel where your government gives you free soft porn.’ Mate, it’s Swedish film and you just need to expand your horizons!

Blondie is with the audience and she has found some Irish people who are delightful. And now they are doing Portuguese pop culture things that go over my head, and recapping Junior Eurovsion, which is like Senior Eurovision, but with more sedate images and sober contestants. The Junior winner sings a little of last year’s Senior winner, which is apparently a new condition for entry into Lisbon as every man and his dog as been trotting it out. Saintly presenter might be a little drunk, you know.

NCIS and Little One are in the Green Room, introducing Salvador Sobral, last year’s winner, and he’s looking a bit healthier, which is good! Still as fey as ever, but find your schtick and stick with it, I say. Lovely new song, you should download it, too, as I need to put a load of dishes on, so won’t be describing it. Ah, he’s had a heart transplant. Excellent! That is good news!

He’s joined by the legendary Caetano Veloso and they (Caetano for the most part) sing last year’s winning song and it’s quite lovely. Salvador is visibly moved by the whole thing. Where is his sister? Apparently he’s been slagging off some of the other songs and it’s caused an upset, but seriously, Sir Terry Wogan made a career out of that and there are thousands if not millions of us who do it on an amateur basis, so why should he miss out?

Little One has some fans pretending to do some last-minute voting, and she has been the hardest working presenter. I hope that tall British girl she was chatting up earlier has a cold bottle of gin and a big cake for the two of them later tonight, she’s earned it!

Jon Ola Sand says votes are ready to go! Jury votes first.

Ukraine first: 8 The Netherlands, 10 Israel, 12 France.

Azerbaijan, 8 Hungary, 10 Serbia, 12 to Albania.

They are FLYING through this.

Belarus, 8 Norway, 10 Austria, Australia is nowhere at the moment, 12 to Cyprus!

San Marino, 8 Sweden, 10 Germany, 12 to Israel. He’s chattier than the others.

The Netherlands, 8 Sweden, 10 Austria, 12 Germany.

FYR Macedonia, 8 Serbia, 10 Cyprus, 12 ESTONIA! YAY

Malta, 8 France, 10 Italy, 12 Cyprus, which is starting to pull ahead. Australia still nowhere.

Georgia, 8 Austria, 10 Estonia, 12 Sweden, who take the lead. Meh.

Spain 8 Austria, 10, Israel, 12 Cyprus. UK still on 0, which is for once entirely unfair.

Austria, 8 Sweden, 10 Germany, 12 Israel, who pop in front. It’s a big battle tonight!

Denmark, 8 Austria, 10 Australia, THANK YOU! 12 to Germany.

UK, 8 Bulgaria, 10 Israel, She cracks onto Jon Ola and I respect that, 12 Austria. Not a sausage to Oz, you bastards.

Sweden, 8 Australia, 10 Austria, 12 Cyprus.

Latvia, 8 Estonia, 10 France, 12 Sweden.

Albania, 8 Bulgaria, 10 Cyprus, 12 Italy!

Croatia, 8 Moldova, 10 Israel, 12 Lithuania. The UK has 4, which is not enough, but there we go.

Ireland, 8 Germany, 10 Bulgaria, 12 Cyprus. Nothing for Oz. I’m reading this as a protest against Peter Dutton’s appalling treatment of refugees.

Romania, 8 The Netherlands, 10 Spain, 12 Austria.

Czech Republic, 8 Sweden, 10 Ireland (nice!), 12 Israel.

Iceland 8 Israel, 10 Albania, 12 Austria. Denmark is down on 7, alas.

Moldova 8 Bulgaria, 10 Israel, 12 Estonia!

Belgium, 8 Sweden, 10 The Netherlands, 12 Austria, which is terrific given how good his voice is!

Norway, 8 Austria, 10 Sweden, 12 Germany.

France, 8 Germany, 10 Australia, Merci!, 12 Israel. They and Austria are creeping ahead.

Italy, 8 Denmark, 10 Germany, 12 Norway.

Australia, 8 Estonia, 10 Germany, and Ricardo Gonzales’s Aussie Portuguese accent is a cracker. 12 to Sweden and FUCK YOU ALL the Australian jury. This is how we get Turnbull and Dutton.

Estonia, 8 Cyprus, 10 Lithuania, 12 Austria.

Serbia, 8 Italy, 10 Germany, 12 Sweden.

Cyprus, 8 Italy, 10 Moldova, 12 Sweden and you are all clearly drunk. The jury votes are all over the shop.

Armenia, 8 Israel, 10 Moldova, 12 Sweden.

Bulgaria, 8 Czech Republic, 10 Lithuania, 12 Austria.

Greece, 8 Sweden, 10 Moldova, 12 Cyprus. I typed that 30 seconds before she said it. No need for correction.

Hungary, 8 Austria, 10 Albania, 12 Denmark! YAY! The Vikings go off! They are chuffed.

Montenegro, 8 Moldova, 10 Albania, 12 Serbia. Big surprise!

Germany, 8 Ireland, 10 Austria, 12 Sweden because they are all drunk. But Austria is still ahead!

Finland, 8 Sweden, 1o Bulgaria, 12 Israel.

Russia, 8 Israel, 10 Sweden, 12 Moldova; look, they were fun.

Switzerland, 8 Lithuania, 10 Estonia, 12 Germany.

Israel, 8 UK THANKS, 10 Sweden, 12 Austria.

Poland, 8 The Netherlands, 10 Germany, 12 Austria.

Lithuania, 8 Sweden, 10 France, 12 Austria.

Slovenia, 8 Cyprus, 10 Austria, 12 Sweden.

Portugal, 8 Austria, 10 Albania, 12 ESTONIA! Oh, Portugal, you are so delightfully odd. I love you guys.

That’s it for juries, but we have the popular votes to go. Australia currently in 12th, Denmark and UK nowhere, which is cruel on both counts. Austria in first place, which I think is down to a great performance. Sweden second, probs down to the drink. The Israel song is third, which I think will go up with the popular vote.

Jon Ola Sand is back. He says the public votes are exciting. Here we go! They are reading them out from lowest to highest.

9 to Australia. Fuck the lot of you. Unless that’s a protest against Australian refugee policy and black deaths in custody, in which case, fair enough. 18 to Portugal and Spain 21 Sweden YES! Good! Sorry, I mean, Oh well. 23 Slovenia 23 Finland Rude. Should have been more. 25 UK Very rude! Should have been lots more! 32 The Netherlands 58 Albania A joke. The people are morons. 59 France Ripped off. 62 Ireland 65 Hungary 66 Bulgaria 71 Austria NO!!!! WOE!! Sorry, mate. You were triff. 75 Serbia Should have been more. 84 Norway 91 Lithuania 102 Estonia 115 Moldova 119 Ukraine Fair, they deserved some points for that show. 136 Germany Surprised it wasn’t more, he’s rather good. 180 Denmark I’m good with that one. They are stoked. 215 Czech Republic 249 Italy and they are also thrilled. 253 Cyprus I think she is both heartbroken at not winning and thrilled at not bankrupting a Cypriot TV station with the cost. ISRAEL HAS WON! (though I missed how many popular points they got. More than 253)

(This will be a tiny bit awkward if the whole Iran war thing kicks off. Maybe this will be the kick up the bum that Netanyahu needs to pull his head in. I would very much like my friends in Israel to have fewer things to worry about, so not starting wars seems like an excellent idea.)

Netta is thrilled, the ladies are a little drunk, Jessica Mauboy has snuck off to party with the Irish mob and fingers crossed Mr Austria’s phone is already running hot with people who want to put that glorious voice with better songs. But keep the backing singers. They were ace. Netta sings us out and we are DONE for another year. Goodnight, Eurovision. Why can’t I quit you?

6 notes · View notes

mellyoraa · 7 years ago

Text

With rehearsals already starting, and the first semi final little more than a week away, I’ve decided to post my pre-show ranking of all 43 entries in this year’s ESC. This is my 15th time watching the Eurovision, and yet this is my first time making a complete ranking of all the songs in the competition. It’s easier said than done, but I feel fairly certain about my top. The mid- and bottom rankings I’m slightly more unsure about, but I’ve tried my best to really think it through.

Important to note is that I personally have an aversion to ESC entries that are in any way political (and I use that term loosely, as in “related to current affairs”) or serve as social commentary. In my view eurovision should be about musical quality rather than important message™, and I therefore tend to rate those kinds of entries lower. This is the case even if I agree with the message, since I think ESC is the wrong forum for it, hence my low rating for Italy and France this year compared to most other fans.

I know many people don’t agree with me on this, and that’s fine, no one can determine what “should” be in the ESC or not. We all value different parts of a song, and with that said, take all this with a grain of salt. These are just my highly personal opinions, which can be found under the “read more”.

1. Ukraine (Mélovin - Under the Ladder

2. Portugal (Cláudia Pascoal - O Jardim)

3. Israel (Netta - Toy)

4. Slovenia (Lea Sirk - Hvala, ne!)

5. Denmark (Rasmussen - Higher Ground)

6. Belgium (Sennek - A Matter of Time)

7. Finland (Saara Aalto - Monsters)

8. Bulgaria (Equinox - Bones)

9. UK (SuRie - Storm)

10. Cyprus (Eleni Foureira - Fuego)

11. Moldova (DoReDos - My Lucky Day)

12. Belarus (Alekseev - Forever)

13. Norway (Alexander Rybak - That’s How You Write A Song)

14. Estonia (Elina Nechayeva - La Forza)

15. Latvia (Laura Rizzotto - Funny Girl)

16. Azerbaijan (Aisel - X My Heart)

17. Serbia (Sanja Ilic & Balkanika - Nova Deca)

18. Czech Republic (Mikolas Josef - Lie to Me)

19. Sweden (Benjamin Ingrosso - Dance you off)

20. Italy (Ermal Meta & Fabrizio Moro - Non Mi Avete Fatto Niente)

21. France (Madame & Monsieur - Mercy)

22. Spain (Alfred & Amaia - Tu Canción)

23. Greece (Yianna Terzi - Oniro Mou)

24. Malta (Christabelle - Taboo)

25. FYR Macedonia (Eye Cue - Lost and Found)

26. Croatia (Franka - Crazy)

27. Iceland (Ari Ólafsson - Our Choice)

28. Montenegro (Vanja Radovanovic - Inje)

29. Albania (Eugent Bushpepa - Mall)

30. The Netherlands (Waylon - Outlaw in ‘Em)

31. Switzerland (ZiBBZ - Stones)

32. Romania (The Humans - Goodbye)

33. Australia (Jessica Mauboy - We Got Love)

34. Russia (Julia Samoylova - I Won’t Break)

35. Poland (Gromee ft. Lukas Meijer) - Light Me Up

36. Hungary (AWS - Viszlát Nyár)

37. Lithuania (Ieva Zasimauskaitè - When We’re Old)

38. Ireland (Ryan O’Shaughnessy - Together)

39. Georgia (Iriao - For You)

40. Armenia (Sevak Khanagyan - Qami)

41. Austria (Cesár Sampson - Nobody But You)

42. Germany (Michael Schulte - You Let Me Walk Alone)

43. San Marino (Jessika ft. Jennifer Brening - Who We are)

#eurovision #esc #eurovision song contest #esc 18

3 notes · View notes

fata-sidvs-oritvr · 7 years ago

Text

My reactions to Eurovision 2018

(below the cut, because there’s a lot to take in)

Ukraine (Melovin - "Under the Ladder") Guy in black emerges from piano-coffin. How goth can you get? Also, first clothes change. And burning piano staircase. However, the song is kinda generic...

SPAIN (Amaia y Alfred - Tu cancion): First non-English entry of the show. Also, first boring ballad. -_- Lighting looks nice, though.

SLOVENIA (Lea Sirk - "Hvala, ne") - Slovenian trap. Also, first strobe-light use. The mid-song stop to get everyone else to sing along was kinda jarring, though.

LITHUANIA (Ieva Zasimauskaite - "When We're Old") - Yet another ballad. The singer's adorable, though. Also, holograms. Also, did she switch to Lithuanian at the end? I think.

AUSTRIA (Cesar Sampson - "Nobody but You"): Gotta love those backing vocal harmonies. Also, first smoke machine.

ESTONIA (Elina Nechayeva - "La Forza"): Opera singer with colour-changing dress.

NORWAY (Alexander Rybak - "That's How You Write A Song"): Are those visual effects real? Doesn't matter. They're still fun. Also, the song is upbeat and catchy, complete with some mad dance moves.

PORTUGAL (Claudia Pascoal - "O Jardim"): Return of the ballads. However, makes up for it with some tasteful lesbian representation.

UK (SuRie - "Storm"): Sounds like it's trying to rip off "Hey Brother" by Avicii. But what happened midway through the performance? Seemed kinda suspect.

SERBIA (Sanja Ilic & Balkanika - "Nova Deca"): First instance of "ethnic" music in the competition. Guy with the duduk looks like a knockoff Einstein, and seems to be this year’s meme.

GERMANY (Michael Schulte - "You Let Me Walk Alone"): More bland balladry. VFX looks like a combo of Lith. and Norway, until they drag a LED screen in to spite the organizers.

ALBANIA (Eugent Bushpepa - "Mall"): Coolest singer name so far. The Danny Sexbang-looking guitarist looks better than the actual singer. But that's still an interesting costume decision on Eugent's part to incorporate an arm-bracer-looking-thing into his suit. Also, epic high notes.

FRANCE (Madame Monsieur - "Mercy"): Could the artist name be any more stereotypical? Other than that, song was generic AF. The "Monsieur"'s guitar was barely audible. But I guess the pro-refugee message redeems it.

CZECH REP. (Mikolas Josef - "Lie to Me"): Loving the dance moves and instrumentation. Vocals are a bit lacking, though.

DENMARK (Rasmussen - "Higher Ground"): Vikings + inspirational lyrics = one of the few ballads that's good on its own and doesn't need redemption. (Bonus points for key change.)

AUSTRALIA (Jessica Mauboy - "We Got Love"): Generic. Also sounds like a ripoff of "Euphoria" (Sweden 2012) at the very beginning.

FINLAND (Saara Aalto - "Monsters"): How does she stay on that wheel without getting dizzy? Also, that council of gender-ambiguous backups.

BULGARIA (Equinox - "Bones"): Generic again. The guy at the beginning was also off-key at one part.

MOLDOVA (DoReDos - "My Lucky Day"): Best costumes so far. Goes for some kind of electro-swing/Moldovian folk hybrid? The panels are also cool, and add a lot to the choreography.

SWEDEN (Benjamin Ingrosso - "Dance You Off"): Light show, leather jacket, and Vocoded vocals in the bridge suggest some sort of attempt to cash in on the synthwave aesthetic despite the music not really sounding like synthwave.

HUNGARY (AWS - "Viszlat Nyar"): METAL. Loving the main riff and the pyro. Unfortunately, it falls flat in the end. The fry vocals and the breakdown aren't really my style.

ISRAEL (Netta - "Toy"): The combo of the chicken noises and Maneki-nekos in the background may look cute, but this song is actually kinda weak. (Sorry, stans.)

NETHERLANDS (Waylon - "Outlaw in 'Em"): Great lyrics, costumes, and presentation. However, overexposure to crappy modern country in my elementary school years kinda weakens it. Shame, because musical style aside, this is pretty good.

IRELAND (Ryan O'Shaughnessy - "Together"): Another lame ballad, this time with sappy lyrics. However, just like Portugal, the gay representation doesn't make it as bad.

CYPRUS (Eleni Foureira - "Fuego"): The tunnel VFX in the beginning were pretty cool, but other than that, nothing special to write home about.

ITALY (Ermal Meta e Fabrizio Moro - "Non mi avete fatto niente"): I liked how the lyrics were translated onscreen in a variety of languages. However, this made the song kind of hard to follow all the way through, since I don't know all of them.

MY OPINIONS ON THE PERFORMANCES: My faves: Norway, Denmark, Moldova, first half of Hungary Least faves: UK, Australia, Spain, second half of Hungary Best costumes: Moldova, Netherlands Best dance moves: Moldova, Czech Republic, Norway Best lyrics: Denmark, Netherlands Best VFX: Estonia, Sweden Best "gimmick": Denmark, Serbia

#eurovision #eurovision 2018 #chitchat

2 notes · View notes

usstatesofsong · 7 years ago

Text

2018 Eurovision Song Reviews - Serbia

Semifinal 2, #3 - SERBIA Sanja Ilic & Balkanika - Nova deca

youtube

Guys… GUYS. This song! It’s my guilty pleasure of the year that I cannot stop playing :)

Typically I struggle to put into words my feelings toward ethnically Balkan entries. It’s still not an area of the world I know much about (but would love to find more!) Anyway, I was happy to hear that Serbia was reigniting their National Selection, Beovizija, for this year’s entry. I was even MORE surprised when I heard the winning entry for the first time, and then it wedged itself inside that part of my brain I reserve for loving new age and world music. Apparently there was some drama surrounding their victory; well, go read another blog post. I’m laying down the praise!

Balkanika are the two female (Danica and Nevena) and one male singer (Mladen) plus the Einstein-looking flute guy (Ljubomir), percussionist Aleksandar, and … mastermind? … Sanja Ilic. He actually has an intriguing history with Eurovision that dates back to the 1980s! He helped write “Halo, halo” which … I’ll be honest, isn’t that good, but it’s amusing to watch.

The Wikipedia page describes their sound as “folktronica.” In that way, “Nova deca” (English: “New generation”) approaches Balkan music differently. The first minute is an introduction, really… nothing but Ljubomir’s flute, Danica’s voice instrumentalized, and assumedly Sanja’s composition/main contribution. It’s MY FAVORITE EVER because it feels so different; like you’re floating on a wave. Some people say the intro’s too long - well, be patient; it’s fantastic. Then Mladen’s voice breaks in with the chorus as though I’ve begun my adventure into the world. It’s so freaking epic!!

The closest thing the Eurovision world has seen to this is perhaps Bulgaria 2007, but I’m thinking back to the 1990s, in winning entries like Norway’s 1995 masterpiece, or Belgium 2003. There’s a large group of people who enjoy the ethnic eccentricities put on display during ESC, and Serbia brings that to us in 2018 in a similar way that Greece or Armenia does on the regular.

Candidly speaking, listeners may find Danica’s consistent vocals and “warbling” grating, as it’s again not used so much for vocals as it is an instrument. I see the argument being made here - it was my one turn-off initially that has since subsided but affected the final score.

In short, I call this my ‘guilty pleasure’ because it doesn’t stand a great chance at qualifying, but it’s a personal favorite. I’m *not* going to over-prepare myself for failure like Finland last year… so hopefully Europe surprises me? …. Please?

My Rating: 7-7.5/10 Ranking: 7th of 43

#serbia #eurovision #esc #nova deca #sanja ilic #balkanika #serbia 2018 #eurovision song contest #esc 2018

2 notes · View notes

eurokat · 7 years ago

Text

Eurovision Song Calender Update 25/02/2018

This is the list of when the Eurovision songs this year are being selected. Most of the information is based on the German wikipedia of this year’s Eurovision, but I double-checked most of te information, please let me know if you find any mistakes :D I created this to have a calender for the songs, maybe someone else will find this useful as well :)

December 2017 December 23rd: Albania Festivali i Këngës 2017 Eugent Bushpepa Mall There will be a revamp, currently the song is longer than three minutes January 2018 January 27th: France Destination Eurovision 2018 Madame Monsieur Mercy They will publish an English version, it is not known yet which version will be used in the competition January 29th: Czech Republic Eurovision Song CZ (online competition) Mikolas Josef Lie To Me January 29th: Spain Operación Triunfo 2018 Alfred & Amaia Tu canción February 2018 February 3rd: Malta Malta Eurovision Song Contest 2018 Christabelle Taboo February 4th: Switzerland Die Entscheidungsshow 2018 Zibbz Stones February 7th: United Kingdom Eurovision 2018: You decide SuRie Storm February 10th: Denmark Dansk Melodi Grand Prix 2018 Rasmussen Higher Ground February 10th: Italy Sanremo Festival 2018 Ermal Meta and Fabrizio Moro Non mi avete fatto niente February 16th: Belarus Eurofest 2018 Alexseev Forever February 16th: Greece internal selection Yianna Terzi Oneiro Mou February 17th: Montenegro Montevizija 2018 Vanja Radovanović Inja February 20th: Serbia Beovizija 2018 Sanja Ilic and Balkanika Nova Deca February 22nd: Germany Unser Lied für Lissabon Michael Schulte You Let Me Walk Alone February 24th: Hungary A Dal 2018 AWS Viszlát nyár February 24th: Latvia Supernova 2018 Laura Rizzotto Funny Girl February 24th: Moldova O Melodie Pentru Europa 2018 DoReDos My Lucky Day February 24th: Slovenia Evrovizijska Melodija (EMA) 2018 Lea Sirk Hvala, ne! February 24th: Ukraine Vidbir 2018 Mélovin Under The Ladder February 25th: Armenia Depi Jewratessil February 25th: Romania Selecția Națională 2018 Song presentations in February Australia Internal selection Jessica Mauboy Austria Internal selection Cesár Sampson Nobody But You Croatia Internal selection Fránka Batelić Crazy Cyprus Internal selection Eleni Foureira Fuego F.Y.R. Macedonia Inrernal selection Eye Cue Lost And Found Georgia Internal selection Iriao Sheni gulistvis Ireland Internal selection Ryan O'Shaughnessy Together Israel: The Next Star 2018 Netta Barzilai March 2018 March 3rd: Estonia Eesti Laul 2018 March 3rd: Finland Uuden Musiikin Kilpailu (UMK) 2018 Saara Alto March 3rd: Iceland Söngvakeppnin 2018 March 3rd: Poland Krajowe Eliminacje 2018 March 3rd: San Marino 1 in 360 March 4th: Portugal Festival da Canção 2018 March 10th: Norway Melodi Grand Prix 2018 March 10th: Sweden Melodifestivalen 2018 March 10th: The Netherlands (Song presentation) Internal selection Waylon March 11th: Lithuania Eurovizijos 2018 March 12th: Bulgaria Internal selection Song presentations in March: Azerbaijan Internal selection Aisel Belgium Internal selection Sennek Russia Internal selection Yulia Samoylova

#eurovision #eurovision 2018 #eurovision song contest #esc #esc2018 #portugal #salvador sobral #lisbon

1 note · View note

lianaofrome · 7 years ago

Photo

How weird is that my first reaction to the Serbians is that they look like out of Yonderland? Like seriously, I've been even assingning them their corrspondent Idiot. Bearded Guy is Larry Brunette lady is Jim on a drag Blonde lady is Martha Shades and gold shoulders is Ben Big collar is Simon And Hoodie is Mat

#eurovision #esc serbia #sanja ilic i balkanika #yonderland #larry rickard #ben willbond #martha howe-douglas #mat baynton #simon farnaby #jim howick

0 notes

blamebrampton · 7 years ago

Text

Eurovision 2018, Semi Final 2

I’m watching on replay and it’s getting late, so this is going to be as swift as possible. We open with a gorgeous montage and I really do feel like going to Lisboa after this week, were I not broke as a broke thing. The women are back and they look great. The NCIS one has come in an assassin’s cocktail dress, the saintly one is dressed like a tasteful wedding cake, the blonde has come over all black swan and the little one has picked up on last semi final’s sci fi villains theme and is cosplaying Servalan. They are doing nautical allusions again and I will continue to ignore them wherever possible. And also their jokes. They are lovely people, but I am here for the singing.

1. Norway, Alexander Rybak, That’s How You Write A Song. He’s back! With the air fiddle this time. In fact, a raft of air instruments that are animated in. Look, he’s still cute as a button and charismatic as a puppy, but this song is reminding me of Cliff Richard and that is not something I wish to be reminded of. It’s no Fairytale. ACTUAL violin has just appeared! About bloody time. He nearly transcends the song, but the song is well meh. Watch it win now. Backing dancers exist and are perfectly fine. Let’s move on.

2. Romania, The Humans, Goodbye. White dress, drink. No, it was a fakeout, the lead singer is wearing purple. She’s surrounded by band members in white with creepy white masks. And mannequins in in gimp suits, also with creepy white masks. I’ve got a real Bonnie Tyler vibe here, which is at least a step up from the last song. BIG power chords into the main body of the song. She’s exhorting the mannequins to live their best life and I cannot bear to break it to her. White dress girl is back, she’s the cellist and I respect a band with a cellist. BIG HERO NOTES! ooh, her purple frock has matching shorts. Nice. Song was OK, band was great.

3. Serbia, Sanja Ilic and Balkanika, Nova Deca. Pipes and wailing vocal intro and I am sold already. If I was up this morning, this would have had my vote. Soz, kids. Three girls wailing mystically with a man looming behind Rasputinly. Seriously, his whole outfit is mad monk. Big Taiko style drums with an enthusiastic man beating away — erm, on the drums — and now some dance beats to lift it. I have to say that I would love this on the club floor late at night when you want something a bit slower and trippier. The girls’ outfits are sort of earth goddess meets debutante. I’m not going to lie, I flipping loved this one.

4. San Marino, Jessika, featuring Jenifer Brening, Who We Are. Lead singer in a lacy red frock over undies. Two human girl dancers and a set of robot dancers. Look, Ive seen worse. Jenny B has just stonked out down the walkway rapping determinedly and it’s all … fine. It’s a perfectly fine song and there will be some young folks who love it. A robot is holding up body positivity messages, actually, the poor wee thing just dropped it, but now he’s holding hands with the singer. It’s a bit community centre talent night, but they’re enormously likeable and I wish them well.

5. Denmark, Rasmussen, Higher Ground. Sudden plunge into darkness. Faint mystic chord as of pipes over water. Dry smoke. Backlit bearded man standing on a ramp. Square sails and more bearded men. Yes, we have hit peak Viking for the night and there is chanting and stomping and more beard pomade than is probably safe in an environment with pyro. We’re singing about men laying down their swords and making their mark and it’s all very Scandirevival, but I have to confess I rather like it and they can all bloody well sing. I have a nose full of North Sea wind and my cheeks feel windbitten at the end of this song, Oh, look, a white flag of peace. Sure. Key change! Snorri Sturluson would love these guys. The boy Aussie commentator has just said they remind him of when Durmstrang walked into the Hall in Harry Potter and he is right on the money. Definitely a contender.

6. Russia, Julia Samoylova, I Won’t Break. Set design is from the cousin of whoever did Estonia, so it’s nice to have two iceberg singers in the one contest. Super dancers: ballet this time, with Russian technique, which is always lovely to see. Look, I disagree with her politics and her country, and the song’s another meh one, but I wish her well. Moving on.

7. Moldova, DoReDoS, My Lucky Day. They have brought a whole miniseries in the staging of this song. She’s seeing blue suit, but red suit behind his back. Now she and red suit are official, but blue suit is getting some on the side. Lots of comedy from the dancers in the background, who are working within a white box set. It’s silly, it’s saucy. it’s a lot of fun. It would absolutely be the theme song of a sex comedy from 1959 starring Sophia Loren.

8. The Netherlands, Waylon, Outlaw in ’Em. Steel string guitar, pulsing lights and wailing vocals. I’m sorry, I’m allergic to wailing dead dog country that uses gun metaphors, They’re very talented, just not my thing. I’m sure he’ll make a fortune in America and good luck to him.

Short presenter is down with the audience and why?

9. Australia, Jessica Mauboy, We’ve Got Love. Cards on the table, I love Jess. She is a super lovely person as well as a great singer. I don’t the song is quite as good as Dami’s Sound of Silence, but she can perform like a goddess. She is bringing her inner Beyonce with the hair and squats, and selling the lyrics, which are basically, ‘don’t give up, we’ve got love’ and look, sure, but this is a country that numbers Sia, Nick Cave and Kate Miller Heidke among its leading lyricists and I just feel we could have done better for our Jess. But she is putting it all out there, and getting the crowd in on side. The drapey bit on her minidress is a bit distracting, but who gives a proverbial, she’s a champ and she should definitely go through to the finals.No matter how absurd it is that we are there.

10. Georgia, Ethno-Jazz Band Iriao, For You. My first question is whether that is actually the group’s name or if they added a little descriptor for the booking agent once and it’s stuck. It matters not. Lovely quiet jazz piano opening, then classical vocals soaring over the top, dry ice already, and a chanting backing vocal that is somewhere between Gregorian monks and Il Divo, but entirely pleasant to listen to. The vocals are very tight and the arrangement intelligently spare and restrained in parts to show off the voices. I approve! There is a lot of eyebrow emoting, but I don’t mind that in a dark Eastern European man, it’s like queueing if you’re British or buying sausage sandwiches at hardware shops on weekends if you’re Australian. That was a good three minutes for me, I hope they get through!

11. Poland, Gromee, featuring Lucas Meijer, Light Me Up. They are wearing ridiculous hats. More Pharrel than Devo, but the sort of hat that will stand in for a personality when you’re young and nervous. Fair enough, some of them look about 14. Good performers, strong backing vocals and the sort of winning stage performance I would have loved the first 250 times I saw it. It’s not your fault I am old and jaded, Gromee, but I am. There is pyro, there is hand dancing, he is dancing with the audience, he is counting. It’s all fine. OK, bye.

12. Malta, Christabelle, Taboo. She is standing inside four big screens and now a heart is glowing against her black dress. People writhe on her screens and the world spins out from her hands. She is singing about the need to respect and support each other in a world that can be hard and cruel. I… I really like her. I’m not sure whether I also like the song or if I just find her so committed to it that I think I like it, but it doesn’t really matter. There’s a real dancer inside the screens now, and Christabelle loves us all. I love you too, Christabelle. I would totally invite you to my barbecue with Jess.

13. Hungary, AWS, Vislát Nyár. Going for the risky Lordi without masks vote, they drum their way in and then launch straight into rich, angry, headbanging lyrics that are upset about something but my knowledge of Finno-Ugric languages begins and ends with a song about little piggies. Another performance with sincerity rather than just polish, though, and that counts. CROWD SURFING GUITARIST! He’s been returned safely, bless you lovely Eurovision crowd. Angry shouting, epic pyro, lots of drumming. There we go.

14. Latvia, Laura Rizzotto, Funny Girl. Another red lace minidress, with a train this time. Actually, it’s more a shorts dress. A playsuit with train. She looks lovely whatever it is. Her song is apparently about a girl who just a wee bit of a stalker. You know you can tell a chap you like him and not just hang around waiting for him to notice you, yes? Some nice bits of tricky tempo and big hair singing. It’s not my cup of tea, but it is well brewed.

15. Sweden, Benjamin Ingrosso, Dance You Off. Brief moment to mention it is bloody freezing in Sydney tonight, for the first time in forever. This is another very polished performance from a skilled performer and it’s doing nothing for me. Might go and find a blanket for my wee toesies.

16. Montenegro, Vanja Radonovic, Inje. Man at piano, women in background, intense man in front, who is Vanja. He is upset. Possibly because some bastard has bedazzled the crap out of his suit. Nice vocals in the ballad, though. The girls are striding, the piano is staying still, which is as it should be. Ooh! The girls are playing statues. Nice. There is a lot of emoting, but the girls’ costumes and facial expressions make it a little unfortunately close to ‘help us, we have been enslaved by vampires and need you to stake us to free our souls’. Lighting and key change, but otherwise much as before. The girls are still suffering. It’s probably a complex retelling of current politics.

17. Slovenia, Lea Sirk, Helva, Nei. She has pink hair so I like her already. Backing dancers are muscular and fast, I like them, too. Do not bother any of these women or they will make you regret it almost immediately. Her frock is another curtain over undies number, but with more plastic than most others. Who can explain it, who can tell you why? Their music cuts out at one point and they get the audience to clap their beat and I am not certain that was real, but it was nicely handled. Confirmation that was a faux error on the music. Whatevs. As no-one says anymore.

18. Ukraine, Melovin, Under the Ladder. Before I hear a word, I learn he likes horses, David Bowie and Verka Serduchka, so we’re basically friends now. He opens the song in a crypt, which opens up in a cheerfully cheesy Hammer Horror way. He’s dressed like an old-school vampire and the crypt is really the inside of a giant piano at the top of a set of stairs. Clearly Dead or Alive were 30 years too early for this chap, but I am glad YouTube will let him experience them. As everyone guessed, he is back up the stairs to play the piano, soulfully. And now the stairs are on fire, and there’s random pyro everywhere. Of course there is. Vampires love fire. At least dress your backing singers as avenging villagers, who have finally arrived to free the girls from Montenegro.

And we are done! Voting is about to open. I am fast forwarding through this bit because life is too short. ESCLOPEDIA IS BACK! Hello bearded man! More clips from past songs, and an allegation that there is a link between Eurovision and fashion. That is A LIE. You know, Portugal, you’re no Sweden and the women are no Petra and Mans, but I respect that you have kept these interval bits short and cool.

I spoke too soon. Presenters are back with costume changes. NCIS is in a short blue cocktail dress, Blondie is in a pink line dancing dress, Saintly is wearing a costume from my Grade Two Tap exam and the little one is cosplaying Severus Snape. They are doing dance moves from Eurovisions past. The Little One is actually pretty funny, but you will have to download it as I am not up to describing that much physical comedy. There is a Riverdance moment. Which I believe is obligatory for every third Eurpovision.

They run through the acts again, and Denmark’s lead singer has brows you could crack nuts on. Walnuts. Not the other kind. Though he looks as though he would be against toxic masculinity, so perhaps that would also be OK.

Votes are closed. We are touring through Portugal. It is very lovely. The acts are ding the bits that have preceded every song and coming out through their doors and visiting locations and generally cocking a lot of it up, bless them. They look as though they are having fun.

Little presenter has just turned up at the Aussie table and is handing out pastéis de nata a la Oprah and Jess looks as though she is in heaven. Custard really is that good.

Saintly presenter is talking about Eurovision’s role in Portuguese politics! 1974, the year Sweden won with Waterloo, was the year that the Portuguese entry was chosen to be the signal for a revolution. It was played on the radio in the early morning as a signal to take to the streets and by the end of the day there were carnations in gun barrels.True story.

Black swan presenter has found British fans and I think they may have been on the drink, but they say lovely things about Portugal (and Jess), so well done, kids!

Bridal cake presenter is introducing the tracks from France, Germany and Italy and Little One is with them. The French performers are cute as, and sing last years’ winning song in French. Suck ups. But lovely voice. Ooh, NCIS has taken over with Germany. who looks a little like Josh Widdicombe. He’s doing a ukulele cover of Fly on the Wings of Love and I confess I liked it. The entry is nice, too. Look forward to the full version in the finals. And now it’s Little One again with Italy, who really look 100% drunk. But they have spectacular hair. And do a chorus of Nel Blu Dipinto Di Blu, ‘Volare! Oh-oh. Cantare, oh wo-oh-oh’ They are SO VERY drunk. Or just exhausted after sitting through 17 hours of this.

Jon Ola Sand says the votes are in. Thank Zeus!

The winners are: Serbia! Fair enough. Moldova! Excellent. They were hilarious. Hungary, because all those Norwegian Death Metal fans were there for you. Ukraine, sure. Sweden. Really? Look, you’re a lovely country. Australia! YAY JESS! Norway, meh. Soz Sasha. I love your country. Denmark, which is entirely fair. Slovenia, which is good news. Last spot goes to The Netherlands, which is fine, the country and western people need something. That’s it till Sunday morning, Which will probably be Sunday night, let’s be honest.

#eurovision #eurovision 2018

3 notes · View notes