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paarthurnax59 · 1 year ago

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"Little Sparrow"

Warnings: Christian and religions references, bad French. not much. Lots of fluff!❤️

Chapter 4

You stood upon a rocky hill as the sun beamed down at you, covering yourself from it’s blinding rays and blazing heat. The sky was cloudless, giving no refuge from the sun’s harmful rays. Looking around you see yourself in a nearly barren desert with what looked like olive trees scattered around the area, along with a few bushes and other species of fauna. A few deer could be seen scavenging for food. Hoping to see any sign of human life, you treaded the scorching desert. You walked aimlessly for a while until you come across three figures.

“Hey, excuse me! Can you tell me where I am?!” You ran at them and started to make out what they were. Two of them were female, one was a woman wearing ancient Israeli garb and with dark hair, brown eyes and olive skin. Their other was a little girl with features very similar to the older woman. You assumed that they were mother and daughter. Beautiful beyond compared, but had the look of sorrow on their flawless faces. The third, what seemed to be a man facing the two women with him kneeling to the little girl. He wore all white and his back was facing you, completely disregarding your existence all together.

“Hey! Can you hear me!? I need help!” You shouted once more and again they ignored you. Why can’t they hear you? Then you kept quiet as the man spoke softly and calmly to the little girl, making you stare in awe.

“My sweet girl, I must leave you. I have fulfilled my purpose upon this earth, and now my father calls me back.” The man in white said to the girl and her eyes began to tear up. His voice, while gentle as an autumn breeze, held a silent power. A power so strong that it could stop an entire war from breaking out. It made you go silent and stand with your jaw open, listening intently to their conversation.

“Papa, I don’t want you to go. I love you! I can’t bare losing you again.” The crying girl ran to the man, which now she assumed was her father, and embraced him with as much strength as her little body could muster. You heart broke for the little girl, knowing how it felt losing a parent. She was even around the same age as you when you lost both your parents. You wanted to be mad at the man for leaving his daughter behind, but for some reason, you couldn’t. He hugged her back with the same amount of love she was expressing to him. He held her tightly, like it was the last time.

“And I love you, my little sparrow. Which is why I must go. You and your mother must get out of here and away from Nazareth…” Your ears perked up from hearing the mysterious man hugging the little child. Nazareth? You were in ancient Nazareth? You continued to watch the heart-breaking moment between three people. No longer you care about them noticing you as you listen with a heavy heart as a family was being separated. “A boat will take you where you both need to go. No matter where you go, you and your mother will always be watched over…I will always watch over you.” Your eyes start to water over this gut-wrenching moment, just as everything went dark.

…..

You awoke gasping in your bed, trying desperately to reach for the people that were not longer there. Breathing heavily placing a hand on your heart. Looking around the darkness, you can see you were still in your luxurious room at Vatican City. The moon’s light shined through the curtains of your window, forcing you to turn your head to the night sky. Now feeling wide awake, you arose from your bed and walked to it with quiet footsteps.

Though you couldn’t see much due to the Vatican’s walls, you still could see some of the beautiful light that came from Rome. You think about the one time you tried to snuck out to explore Rome in the dead of night. Sometimes Jinette’s guards weren’t always the brightest and you could easily sneak passed them. Of course, you were not able to fool everyone.

18 years earlier….

“And so, Beautiful Esther, being the virtuous woman, bravely stood up for her people, though she was fearful of her fate. She believed a life live no courage…is not a life at all. For the fear of God came before the fear of men.” He said by your bedside as he finished telling you biblical stories. Night had fallen and was growing later by the hour. You watched in amazement about the brave Jewish woman that stood before death to protect her people and save her uncle, Mordecai.

“She really did all that? Without the King even realizing she was Jewish? Even though she could have been killed?” You said while squirming in your bed, listening intently to the story of one of the bravest women of the bible.

“Yes, she did, Piccolo Paressa.” He nodded, pleased that his young ward finally was able to sit down for a biblical story. He was glad that it was the story of Esther. Though he hoped she never had to face a horrible situation like the biblical heroin had, he hoped you would grow to be resilient and virtuous. He maybe old fashioned in the ways of the world, but he wanted his new ward to have honorable women to look up to. He wanted you to grow up to be a strong woman with good values. “She was incredibly strong and risked much to save her people. Saving them from annihilation at the hands of her own husband.” He enlightened the young French girl.

“And that Haman guy? Quelle brute absolue!” You spat out and almost wanted to punch someone for what the King’s advisor tried to do to the innocent people of Persia. All because he didn’t like the fact they were different from them. Jinette grinned at your response to his tale. He tucked her in as she continued to discuss the little bedtime story. “Glad he got what he deserved.” He didn’t like how you said that, even if you were talking about a very evil person. As he got done getting you into bed, he used his hand to get you to look him in the eye. He made sure you were intently listening before he spoke.

“(Name), you should not be saying things like that, even if you believe their punishment was just.” He spoke lowly but still serious enough for him to get his point across.

“Why? he tried to kill thousands of innocent people because they were different from him. He was cruel and shouldn’t be alive anymore.” Jinette sighed with disappointment ever so eminent in his face.

“(Name), we must all face judgment for our wrong doings. Whether we realize it or not. Not matter how horrible or minuscule our offenses are, we all deserve fair judgement. We are not the ones allowed to offer such trial. Only one can do that.” He pointed upward with his finger, making sure you understand what he was talking about. “Yes, those who commit evil acts will have to face the final verdict, some will have to face trial while here on earth. but that doesn’t mean we live through out our lives with hearts full of vengeance. It brings us to a place full of deep despair and darkness. A life of countless moments waisted, precious time that we will never get back. Hatred…it consumes you. Makes you into something that destroys your entire self and forget your true purpose.” Earnestly he spoke as he looked down at you, little your small developing mind sink in his wise words. “This is something I don’t want for you. What Esther did…was out of justice. For love, not for revenge. God will never help those who act in hate and anger. Do you understand, my child?” He asked you, giving him a nod in return.

“Yes, father.” You replied and Jinette arose from your side of the bed.

“Good. Then you have a good night, Paressa.” He walked off and to his own quarters, closing the door. The room dark with only the lights from Rome peeking through the window. You smiled as you went to your wardrobe and put on your jeans and jacket. Walking to your door you watched for anyone coming down your hallway. So far it was empty, which meant it was the perfect opportunity to get out of Vatican City for a while. It had been a couple of months since you started living at the Vatican and became Cardinal Jinette’s adoptive daughter. Ever since you had arrived, you had been confined in the city walls. While yes, you had food, education, a warm bed and shelter. Even well cared for by the old man, but your heart craved more. It yearned to venture out and see the life of the famous city. Most sane people would think that a young girl like you would be crazy to go off alone in a city like Rome. Not you, however. You were tough and resilient.

Ever since the day your parents died and were dropped in that God forsaken orphanage, you had fight for survival. The people at the orphanage tried to break you, with no form of success. You weren’t afraid of the people of the world; you didn’t even flinch when Jinette had told you about monsters being real. Having trust in people? That’s an entirely different story. So going out alone in a large city like Rome, didn’t scare you in the slightest.

Scanning down the empty hall, you slowly walked through the palace. With each careful step, you waited and listened for any form of human movement before moving forward. You suddenly heard heavy footsteps coming in your direction and were getting louder. To not be detected, you hid behind one of the large, thick curtains that hid your small body. The footsteps pass and with a smirk, you slowly emerged from the curtain. You were on your way to the gate when you felt a strong hand on your arm and another covering your mouth to keep you from screaming. Instincts began to take hold, so you began to fight off your assailant.

“Stop squirming, little girl, or I will put you over my knee.” Said the masculine, but familiar voice, making you growl in frustration. He held you closer to his larger body to restrain you from trying to get away.

“Let me go!” You muffled angerly through his hand, trying to bop his jaw with your head.

“You scream and it won’t be me getting in trouble for being out passed their bedtime, you little gargoyle.” Van Helsing gritted his teeth. Wanted to not be caught by Cardinal Jinette, you kept quiet and ceased your struggle with the tall hunter. Jinette sometimes stayed up late to get some extra work done, for he was busy with educating you during the day. You didn’t want him catching you for being up at this late hour, so you clammed up. “Good, now we can talk, and don’t even think about trying to bite me again.” He commanded and released you from his grasp. You jumped away from him and face the young man, with your arms front and center, pulling your fists up to your face. “Are you always this defensive, little one?” He smirked down at you. He was wearing normal street clothes, black leather jacket with black slacks and a grey sweater. His long hair was now combed back and his face shaved. His arm folded as he watched you in amusement.

“Are you always this much of a creep? Sneaking up on little girls?” You snapped at the man in front of you, not letting your guard down for one minute. It did nothing but made the tall hunter chuckle at your attempt to fight him off. Your face all puffed up and your fists high in the air, ready to brawl with him.

“Alright, calm down. I’m not going to fight you and I am not going to turn you over to cardinal Jinette, little one. I just want to talk to you.” He softly spoke to you as a chuckle escaped from his lips. With a feeling of caution was still present in your mind, your fists lowered to your side and your back straight. “So, can I ask why you were trying to leave? Not running away, are you?”

“No!” You barked and Van Helsing placed a finger to his lips to shush you.

“Keep it down, kid. The guards will catch you if you don’t stay quiet.” He hushed to you aggressively. “Now, if you aren’t trying to run away, what are you doing?” He inquired as he started to circle around you.

“I just…” You sighed in defeat as you explained. “I just wanted to get out for a while. I have been cooped up in this place for months and wanted to see Rome for myself. I barely got a glimpse when Jinette brought me here.” You defended your actions, not wanting any one to think that you were trying to leave for good. You loved living here and everything it has to offer. “I was going to come back. I swear!”

“Alright, alight. Clam down, kid. You don’t need get upset over this.” He reminded you as he got in front of you, looking down at your fragile form. His heart ached as he looked down at your big, (E/C) guilt-ridden eyes. He didn’t want to make you feel like he was interrogating you. Van Helsing knew that sometimes life inside these walls can get a little stuffy and he knows how protective Jinette is of you. However, you still couldn’t go out on your own, especially at night in a European city. At that moment, an idea struck him. A mischievous grin appeared on his face. “I have an idea, how about I go with you? We can get out for a little bit.” He proposed, you raised your eyebrow, looking at him like had grown a second head.

“?Etes-vous serieux?” You gasped in French, making Van Helsing groan.

“English, little girl. I don’t know French.” Gabriel rolled his eyes at your response.

“Sorry, but why would you do that for me? You hate me!” You exclaimed loudly, folded your arms and giving him a pouting face. Van Helsing had to cover your mouth once more to keep you from shouting.

“Honestly, do you always have to yell when you talk? You are either screaming or speaking French.” He said as he let go of your face. “To answer your question; No, I don’t hate you. In fact, I like you, kid.”

“Why? I bit you when we first met and tried to fight with you.” You argued with grown man, not believing that he could like you when you’re only encounter with him was when you tried to go down that tunnel.

“Well, can’t say that I appreciated you biting me. It hurt like hell.” He cursed, letting a gasp escape your mouth.

“You cursed! You’re not allowed to swear in the Lord’s house, monsieur Van Helsing!” You point your finger at him, like a mother scorning her child. He snickered at you. In his eyes, you were just too adorable.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.” He apologized while lifting his hands in the air defensively. “But I must be honest, kiddo. You have spirit and a lot of it. You have the guts to stand up to people bigger than you and that to me, is pretty brave.” He looked at you and watched as you look up at him in amazement. Did he really mean that? He looked out the window, he could easily see the lights of Rome and then back at you. “And with spirited people like you, sometimes they get restless. They need an outlet occasionally. You obviously want to get out and I can do that for you.” He looked back at you once more and held out his hand. “What do you say? Call it a truce and we can both go explore the city?”

You thought about it for moment. In your heart, you wanted to trust him. He had this aura of honesty and genuine desire of wanting to connect with you. It had been a long time since you trusted people, let alone adults. So far, Jinette and Carl had been able to connect with you and maybe a few other people. Everyone else, they just looked at you like you were a fish out of water. In their eyes, you were nothing but a street orphan who was plucked by the old man through an act of pity. There also weren’t any other children around, making it hard to connect with anyone. However, Jinette had also been teaching you about faith. Not just faith in God but having faith in people. People who deserve to be trusted, like Jinette. So maybe, placing your confidence in Van Helsing, would help you gain a new friend. Slowly, you reached out for his large hand and grasp it tightly.

“Let’s do it, Van Helsing.”

“Good, and by the way, you can call me Gabriel.” He smiled and then he began to lead you through the halls of Vatican City, avoiding any guards that wondered the halls. You both managed to get to the underground tunnels where a lot of old-fashioned vehicles resided. You had had the opportunity to ride in some of these luxury cars, including the Mercedes that you drove in when you came here in. He led you down the large underground garage, laughing as he pulled you along. He stopped abruptly, causing you to crash into him.

“Why did you stop?” You curiously looked up at him. He looked down to you and pointed his finger down the garage, pointing at a very beautiful black 1969 Ducati Scrambler Motorcycle. You looked in wonder and excitement as you looked at the beauty in front of you. “Is this yours?”

“Yup, got her when she was a real fixer upper a few years ago. After some love and care, I restored her to her former glory, with a few modifications that is.” He bragged with a proud grin plastered on his face. The bike had two helmets on it and he walked over to grab them, handing one out to you. “Safety first.” He joked as you took the helmet and placed it on your head. He helped you strap in on properly before he got on. You followed right behind him and got on. “Hold on tight, girly girl!” He placed his own helmet on before he started the bike. The engine roared as the bike was brought to life. You held on as Gabriel kicked off the stand and then rode off his parking space and out of the already open garage door.

The bike rode off into the night as the both of you left the sacred city behind. The lights from the motorcycle lighting your path and soon were both in the gorgeous and historic city of Rome herself. As Van Helsing focused on the road, you marvel at the beautiful architecture and stunning lights that made city look so magical and unreal. The two of you stopped at few places, along the way. Patheon, the Rome Colosseum, and St. Peter’s Basilica. All places where he could take you that were open at this late hour, promising one day that he would take you on a tour during the day. The next stop you made was the Trevi Fountain. You both stood in the at the fountain and then a shiny, silver coin appeared in front of you.

“Make a wish, (Name).” He suggested as he hand you the coin. You hold the coin to your chest and closed your eyes to make a wish. When you open your eyes, you tossed the coin as far as you could, landing in the water. “So, what did you wish for?” He poked at you, as you stared at him in disbelief.

“You know I can’t tell you that! Otherwise, it won’t come true!” You giggled while he ruffled your hair. “Hey! Not my hair!” You squealed as Van Helsing grabbed you and then nuzzled your head with his fist, throwing you into a fit of laughter. You were finally having fun, for the first time in a long time.

….

You smiled as you think back to your first real connection with Gabriel. Instead of him turning you over for trying to sneak out of Vatican City, he went with you. It wasn’t just that one time either. Once a week at least, when Gabriel wasn’t on a hunt, he would take you out on his bike. He had to get special permission to take you out from Jinette. Turns out, he wasn’t as angry about you sneaking out as you thought. Sometimes it was for lunch, others for gelato or on a tour at one of the museums. You still manage to leave at night with him. As long as you were with Van Helsing, you were safe. The two of you grew closer to one another as the months progressed.

Thinking back, it was a rather foolish idea to be trying to go out on your own. And only being eleven years old, at that. Of course, you had been homeless for a year, so the fear of being out alone didn’t bother you. Having to defend yourself as best you could.

Being lost in thought, you hardly noticed your phone going off. You looked to your bedside table and reached for it. You could see Sam’s name and picture appear on the screen. You swiped up and placed the phone to your ear.

“Hello?” You answer and could a breath of relief from the other line.

“Thank God, (Name)! Are you okay? I’m at Jody’s right now and she told me that you left and didn’t tell you her where you were going. She said you left in a hurry and only told her it’s an emergency! Where are you?! I have been trying to get a hold of you for days!” Sam panicked on the phone, and you shushed him, stopping him from his frantic tirade.

“Sam, calm down!” You ordered him and he goes silent. “If you just let me explain where I have been and what I have been doing, I will tell you.” He breath could be hard over the phone, showing that he was trying to calm his heart rate. You were too tired to deal with this.

“Okay fine, go ahead.” He pressed while he heard you expound on your where abouts.

“I’m in Rome right now.” You told him honestly.

“Rome?! As in Italy?!” He yelled as you could hear the shock in his voice.

“Yeah, I have been in Italy for the past two days.” You began to explain.

“Why are you there?” He asked while you stared out in the dark sky. You really didn’t know what to tell Sam. For years, you had kept your life in the Order a secret from the boys. While you did tell them you were from France and raised by a priest, the rest of your story was a little more…fabricated.

You never told them that you were trained by that same priest and one of his best hunters. Why? Because the more people that know about the Order, the harder it would be to keep from corrupt governments and organizations. The Order had been around for almost two thousand years and had stood strong against the tests of time, mainly due to it’s resilient secrecy. When every hunter reaches the final stages of their training, they are sworn hold the oath to never tell outsiders about the Order. People were just not ready to know the truth of what goes on in the dark. However, you can’t leave Sam in the dark completely. You had told him some truth as too what is going on.

“I’m going on a hunt, I was told an old friend had gone missing and I need to start looking for him. For all I know, he could be dead or hurt.” You explained as you sat on your bed, looking out the window.

“Right, I get it.” He lowly whispered, indicating that he understood why you left. Your mind now coming back to the other situation that had led you to leaving the bunker.

“How is he, Sam? Did he get…”

“No, he still hasn’t gotten the mark off …and he’s getting worse. Charlie’s death really took a toll on him, (Name).” He sadly admitted, making your chest tighten with remorse and regret hearing Charlie’s name being spoken. “He killed all the Stynes just a few days ago and even nearly killed Cass. He was all bloody and beaten when Rowena and I found him. Dean did a real number on him before he left.” He said, just now making you want to cry just hearing what happened. What was happening to your Dean? “There is another thing…Dean…he killed a kid.”

“What?” You said as a tear came down onto your cheek. You had a very strong soft spot for kids and so did Dean. Which is one of the things that made you fall in love with him. It was his most endearing quality. Now, to hear that he killed a kid had broken you in a way that made you just keel over.

“He was one of the Stynes, but he wanted to leave his family. He seemed like a good kid from what Cass had described. Dean shot him dead along with the other Stynes that broke into our bunker. He didn’t even give him a chance to defend himself or speak.” Sam sounded so defeated and sad, it made your heart ache with pain. While you can’t fathom feeling sorry for any of the Stynes deaths, you do feel for this poor boy that Dean killed. It could not have been easy growing up in a family like the Stynes. If you were in that boy’s shoes, you would have wanted to get out as soon as you could. The real Dean Winchester would not have killed him. He would have done everything he could to help that kid. What could have been his salvation, became his demise. A tragic ending to a life full of potential and redemption.

“(Name), are you still there?” Sam snapped you out of your haze. You composed yourself before answering him.

“Yeah, I’m alright. I’m sorry, Sam. I’m sorry I can't be there.” You told him apologetically, wishing there was more you could do for the younger Winchester, and his brother. Despite everything Dean did, you still loved him.

“It’s okay, (Name). I understand why you don’t want to be here right now. I will find a way to get him back, I always do.” Sam spoke with much determination. You know he’s right. Sam and Dean would go to the ends of the earth to save each other. Even dying for one another to do it. “You should focus on finding your friend, (Name). Don’t worry about Dean for now.” He assured you softly, trying to ease your mind after giving you the tragic news of what Dean had done. “And get some sleep, It must still be late over there.”

“Thanks Sam, I love you, you know.” You said with a somewhat cracking voice, your heart raced as you expressed your feelings to him.

“I love you, too. Get some rest, okay? See you later.” Sam before he hung up. It was then you let the tears fall and covered your face as you sobbed fiercely. Your body hunched over trying as hard as you could to keep quiet and not to wake anyone. You cried for a good ten minutes before lying down in your bed and pulling the covers over you. The tears didn’t stop falling from your face. With all the thoughts that had been plaguing your mind, you highly doubt you will get a restful night’s sleep. You turned to the window again, and looked at the moon, full and bright like a star. Your mind still thinking mostly about what Dean had done since you had left. You wonded if things would have been different if you hadn’t lied to him and Charlie would still be alive. You honestly don’t think he would ever forgive you. Truthfully, you don’t think you would forgive yourself for this either.

“This is all my fault.”

….

What do you guys think Reader was dreaming about? How about her interactions with Gabriel and Jinette as a child? And how do you think she will work out with this Dean situation?

Please comment, reblog and follow my page for more!

Thanks to all of you for reading!

French translation

“Quelle brute absolue!”: “what an absolute brute!”

“?Etes-vous serieux?” : “Are you serious?”

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hiddenwritingsintheworld · 3 months ago

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Updating Tag List 08/27/2024

ATTENTION!

I have a current tag List for ALL MY FICS. I will not add your tag to specific FICS, I apologize but I don't have time to create separate tag lists. That being said, I want to update the tag List before I start posting the multiple chapters of series I have finished.

SOOOOOOO that being said, I will include the tag List below. If you want to stay on it, be removed or be ADDED to it. Please send a message to my inbox.

SEND RESPONSE HERE PLEASE!

Thank you!!!

Current Tag List: (if I have to tag 5 at a time, additional tags will be listed in the comments on this! Thanks!)

@notebooks-of-nonsense @fdl305 @bval-1 @calimoi @syntheticavenger @mrsjenniferwinchester @chaneajoyyy @mommad @ellen-reincarnated1967 @adriellej @coffeebooksandfandom @patzammit @posiemax @auriel187 @ladybug05 @stoneyggirl2 @fallenoutofrose @mrspeacem1nusone @teamfreewill-imagine @inlovewith3 @auvisanspeur @whiskeytangofoxtrot555 @leaveitbythewave @sleutherclaw @sandlee44 @aaqua-tofana @nohumanswereharmed @msgrandma49 @traceyaudette @cevansbaby-dove @inarabee

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pink-sparkly-witch · 1 year ago

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Tag List Refresh! - NOW FULL

Hello, my pretties! I have a lot of exciting stuff coming up and (hopefully!) more to come as I attempt to fill my two bingo cards and get stuck into my ideas list!

So, I wanted to organise my tags a little better and make sure you’re on the one you want to be! I mostly write for Dean Winchester, Beau Arlen and Jensen Ackles. There may be a few Sam / Jared or John / Jeffrey Dean Morgan in there at some point, so with that in mind, if you want to be on my tag list, you can choose from:

Everything (will include RPF)

All Characters (no RPF)

All Things Jensen (will include RPF)

Dean Winchester

Beau Arlen

Drop me an ask, a DM, reply, or reblog if you want to be on there and what list you’d like! And thank you all for your support, I love you all 💖

Tagging all the lovelies that have at some point asked to be on my lists:

@acitygrownwillow @akshi8278 @ashbatz @candy-coated-misery0731 @chriszgirl92 @deanoxwinchester @deans-baby-momma @deans-spinster-witch @deanwanddamons @frozenhuntress67 @globetrotter28 @hobby27 @hoboal87 @iprobablyshipit91 @jc-winchester @jesllianaquilesrolonsworld @kayleighmeister @kazsrm67 @kmc1989 @k-salla @lacilou @ladysparkles78 @leigh70 @lilred91 @mrsjenniferwinchester @muchamusedaboutnothing @nancymcl @nelachu2423 @nic-kolas @perpetualabsurdity @rach5ive @roseblue373 @sandlee44 @sexyvixen7 @silentbutscreaming @snackles87 @spnwoman @stoneyggirl2 @suckitands33 @synmorite @trannydean @tristanrosspada-ackles @twinkleinadiamondsky @venicesem @waters-2567 @waynes-multiverse @winchestergirl1720 @xxsovereignsarayaxx

#tag list #spn fanfic #big sky fanfic #dean winchester x reader #jensen ackles x reader #beau arlen x reader #jensen ackles #dean winchester #beau arlen #spn #big sky

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deanwinchesterswitch · 2 years ago

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He can be a bit clueless at times.

Eventually, he might just find some happiness. It might be a long road to get there, though. 😬

Thank you for reading and for the reblog. 💜

Livin' a Lie

Summary: Dean thinks he’s doing the right thing, believes it’s for the best. Still, he struggles to let go, even when he overhears that you’ve moved on with someone new.

Pairing: Dean x Fem!Reader

Warnings: 18+ Angst; Some fluff; Dean being Dean; Language; Mentions of smut; Canon divergence.

Betas: @princessmisery666 and @wayward-and-worn

Word Count: 2,318

Pulling out of Jody’s hug, Dean’s eyes scan the room.

“She’s not coming,” Jody says, giving him a sympathetic smile.

“I wasn’t-” The mom look she gives him cuts him off. She knows. “Yeah, okay. Whatever.”

The monthly get-togethers had started a while back at Jody’s insistence. He and Sam hadn’t been able to make it last month, and he was hoping… Well, he doesn’t know what he was hoping for, not sure if the flood of emotion is unmitigated relief or agonizing disappointment.

“How are you?”

“Good. I’m good,” he lies. He’s so far from good he doesn’t even know how to explain it. “You?”

Jody lets the lie slide this time. “The girls haven’t killed each other yet, and no one is pregnant. So, I’m taking the win.” Patting him on the arm, she steps around him to hug Sam.

“Who’s manning the grill?” It’s a safe enough subject. Or so he thought.

“Garth.” Jody chuckles.

“Oh, hell no! I like some pink, but I don’t want my meat still mooing.” He takes off in the direction of the backyard to save their meal.

A couple of hours later, everyone sated with good food and the alcohol of their choice for those old enough; the group lounges around the fire pit, making s'mores, sharing stories, and enjoying each other’s company.

Dean excuses himself to take a leak. Returning from the bathroom, he heads toward the kitchen to sneak another slice of pie but stops short upon hearing Alex.

“Dean looks hap- well… like he’s doing okay. You think it’s just a cover?”

“Hard to tell. He went home with some waitress a couple of weeks back.” Sam overshares, and Dean can visualize the disapproving bitch face and condescending roll of his eyes.

“Really?” Donna tosses out. “He back to his old habits? Or, ah y’ know, just trying to drown his sorrows ‘cause he still loves her?”

Of course, I still love her! Do they honestly think I could ever stop?

“Honestly, I don’t think he ever stopped. He probably loves her more than ever. Even if he refuses to talk about it.”

That’s because it’s none of your goddamn business, little brother. Sharing my feelings like we’re in some chick flick ain’t gonna change anything.

There is no way in hell he will ever tell Sam that all he did was drop the waitress off at her home—walked her to the door, waited until she was safely inside, then left. Instead of going back to the motel to put up with more of Sam’s whiny nagging, he’d parked on an old dirt track and spent the night in Baby, dreaming about her, trying to recapture even the tiniest scrap of happiness.

“Have you talked to her?” Sam asks.

Oh shit, what if it gets back to her about the waitress?

He hadn’t given any thought to it becoming a rumor that might make its way back to her.

Sam and his stupid big mouth.

Flirting with that woman had been a means to an end, an old habit resurfacing to disguise his misery and to stop Sam’s perpetual insistence to call and make things right or let go and move on.

Dean refuses to call. The threat is even bigger than before. There’s no moving on, either. The memories that haunt him are no longer of his time in the pit but of the hell of losing her. Every time he closes his eyes, she’s there—the warmth of her body, her sweet scent, the whisper of her voice, the taste of her lips. All of it was a reminder of what a thickheaded fool he was to push her away... to hurt her the way he did.

“Yeah. She’s moving next week. Cooper asked her to-”

Throat closing around a lump of guilt and pain, he stumbles forward—guilt for treating her the way he did and pain for the finality of knowing that he will never be able to call her ‘mine’ again.

He needs air, the open road.

Striding toward the front door, he hollers over his shoulder to no one in particular that he’ll be back later. Not waiting for a response, he’s outside and backing out of the driveway in a matter of seconds, speeding toward the clearing by the lake a few miles away. The sound of Baby’s engine helps to ease muscles held tight with tension and soothe the anger raging in his soul.

She’d shared what she had dubbed Stargazer’s Loch with him a few years back. He’d shown up at Jody’s after a bad hunt, and she’d been there recovering from a hunting injury of her own. She’d brought him out here, told him it was her sanctuary, a place of peace and inspiration. It was the night he’d admitted to himself that he was falling in love with her.

They’d run into each other several times before, worked a few cases together, and had fun hanging out, playing darts, or hustling drunk locals out of their hard-earned cash at pool, but he’d never ‘gone for it’ with her. Something about her was different. He felt different around her. He had never wanted her to be just another notch on his bedpost. It had taken him a while, but at this lake, is where he first told her he was in love with her.

Not until he’s lying on the hood, back against the windshield and staring at the stars, does he let his mind wander and the tears fall. The months had dragged on, but with years of experience under his belt, he shoved down the regret and loneliness, locking it away with all the other crap. He can put on a good show for others with a smile plastered on his face and a nonchalant attitude. Yet, there are still times, usually when he is relaxed, guard down, like tonight, they rise to the surface like a tidal wave.

He’d heard things about her in passing from other hunters—She looked happy. Saw her in Chicago outside a museum, dressed for some fancy event… Colorado… New York… California—but nothing about another guy. She’s obviously traveling a lot, but no one seems to know what she’s doing. He knows she’s not hunting, though. Anyone who had spoken with her said she wouldn’t assist with anything beyond what she knew of the lore. Said that she’d told them, ‘I’m not a hunter.’ His harsh accusation echoed back to him.

How could he have said that to her? She was a great hunter—an exquisite balance of book and street smarts, keen instinct, skill, and heart. He’s glad she’s not hunting, though. She’s safer and seemingly happier. It’s what he wanted for her. She’s better off without him. He just wishes his heart had gotten the message.

Absentmindedly reaching for a hand that’s no longer there, finding only cold metal, his chest seizes, and he chokes on a sob. Fuck, he misses her. Of all the idiotic things he’s done over the years, forcing her away ranks the highest. He wishes he could tell her that it was all a lie. He figures she knows. He simply had given her no choice.

Folding his hands on his stomach, he does nothing to curb the surge of tears streaming from his eyes. There’s no reason to repair the dam with no one around to suffer the flood. So he lets the groundswell of memories wash over him.

“The porch?” Delicate fingers traced along his temple, curling behind his ear, thumb strumming over his cheekbone.

“Wrap-around,” a quick peck to her palm, “a porch swing facing a lake so we can watch the thunderstorms in the spring and the leaves change in the fall. Rocking chairs for when we get old.”

She laughed. “You? Sitting in a rocking chair? Doing nothing? I don’t care how old you are. I don’t buy it.”

“As long as you’re next to me, I can do anything.”

It had become a post-bad hunt ritual. They would lie in bed, the back of the Impala, or, weather permitting, beneath the stars, usually naked but always wrapped in each other’s arms, and talk about where they would live, the home he would build for her when they got out. A way to escape the current reality of their life. The thin thread of hope they clung to while holding tight to each other.

“In the mountains, away from everyone. In the winter, we’ll hole up and hibernate like bears. In the summer, we’ll go skinny dipping in the lake.”

Soft lips, breath moist and hot against his ear. “With no one else around, we could stay naked all the time.”

“I like how you think.” He’d taken her then, on top of the old fleece in the middle of a field lit only by firefly glow and a sky pin holed by stars. Gentle and slow, teasing out moans and getting drunk on every whimper and sigh she surrendered to him.

He’d had the perfect property in mind, Rufus’ old safe house in Montana. They could fix it-it up exactly how they wanted. He’d never mentioned it, though, before everything fell apart. He’d wanted to surprise her, check into actually purchasing it, and start renovations.

Hell, he’d even fantasized about proposing, down on one knee in front of the refurbished home when he told her to remove the blindfold. But with each new hunt, the threat grew bigger and badder, the burden to save innocent lives grew exponentially, and the struggle to keep those he cared about safe and alive became an almost impossible endeavor. So he pushed—shoved—her out of his life and away from danger.

“I want you to leave.”

“Fine. I’ll sleep in my old room tonight.”

“No. I want you to pack your things and get out of the bunker. I’m tired of having to rescue you. I’ve got enough on my plate without having to try and keep you from getting yourself killed all the time.”

“Rescue me?! You didn’t rescue me. I killed that bitch before you even got to me. You’re being an asshole! How-” She’d cut herself off, tilted her head, and huffed, “huh.” Eyes narrowed, she’d clicked her tongue. “I get it. I know what you’re doing, and I’m not leaving. You’re scared. Afraid that something will happen to me. You can’t make me hate you.”

“Oh, sweetheart, you have no idea what I can make you do. Hate me or not, it doesn’t matter,” he shrugged, “I don’t want you here. You’re not a hunter. You’re a liability.”

The forceful harshness he put behind the words, the way he had sarcastically called her sweetheart, drawing himself up to tower over her, had made her stumble in shock, gripping the desk for support as she bumped into it.

He’ll never be able to dislodge the memory of utter devastation drenched in sorrow—exhale of disbelief, trembling bottom lip, the twitch of her eye as tears gathered on her lashes—right before it was all hidden behind a stoic mask. Once she had steeled herself against his acerbity, she didn’t plead or yell, didn’t try to change his mind with honey-drenched words or soft touches. No harsh discourse left her lips.

The calm acceptance she’d radiated had been unexpected, and a shiver caressed his spine. He’d felt relief and disappointment within the same heartbeat. He’d wanted her to be angry, curse the day she met him and walk out to never look back, but she hadn’t.

After the initial pause, he’d understood what she was doing. She had always tried to ease his burdens whenever possible, and even then, when her heart was most likely as broken and battered as his, she had still wanted to make it less difficult for him. It hadn’t lessened any of the pain.

“I love you.”

That was it. Nothing else. Stared him dead in the eye, standing tall and creating an imposing figure of her own. Three words, filled with so much promise and hope, nearly broke his resolve.

Instead, he spat, “Yeah, well, sucks to be you,” and walked out of the room without a backward glance.

Two steps into the hallway, the sensation of his heart being ripped from his chest made him stumble and press a hand against the cold tile to stay upright. Unlike in hell, there was a finality to it. There would be no rejuvenation. He wouldn’t wake up the following day and be whole again; he’d be left with a void in his chest for the rest of his days.

It nearly had him turning around to fall on his knees in front of her, beg for forgiveness, and plead with her never to leave him.

He reminded himself why he was doing this. He couldn’t keep her safe. The target on her back would only continue to grow the longer she stayed with him. The next step was painful, forced, but with each subsequent footfall, his pace quickened until he sprinted through the garage and spun Baby’s tires as he hauled ass away from the bunker… from her… from the self-inflicted misery.

Even though he’d driven for hours, returning just before sunrise, he’d yearned to find her still there, waiting—her anger, her stubbornness, her love, refusing to let her leave. He’d suffer anything she threw at him, every angry word, every slap, kick, or punch hurled, just to see her.

As soon as the Impala’s front tires had hit the concrete, brutal misery encompassed him. The space where she’d kept her truck was empty, as hollow as his chest.

He’d sat in the car for a long time cycling through the stages of grief, never reaching the final one. He has to accept it now, though, right? She’s moving in with some guy. A guy that’s not him.

He waited too long. Too afraid, too ashamed to contact her.

Love Me Some Pie tag list:

@akshi8278 // @asgoodasdancingqueen // @calaofnoldor // @compresshischest09 // @deans-baby-momma // @deaneverafter // @deans-spinster-witch // @deanwanddamons // @flamencodiva // @idreamofplaid // @jerkbitchidjitassbutt // @justagirlinafandomworld // @justrealizedimmascifygurl // @ladysparkles78 // @lyarr24 // @michellethetvaddict // @mrswhozeewhatsis // @mvdeanw // @princessmisery666 // @shawnie74 // @thinkinghardhardlythinking // @thoughts-and-funnies // @waynes-multiverse // @wayward-and-worn // @waywardbaby // @weepingwillowphoenix

#comment reblog #sandlee44

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deans-baby-momma · 4 months ago

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NEW NEWS!!!! ANNOUNCEMENT!!! ARE Y'ALL READY FOR THIS???

Coming Monday, July 8th.....the first installment of a story I've been working on for months.

Synopsis: When Dean goes to check on a friend, he never dreamed it would lead to more.

Warnings: language, mature themes, smut, fluff, a tad bit of angst (because I suck at writing it), friends to lovers

Pairing: if the header didn't give it away or the title, it's Dean & Donna, or as I've referred to them all this time, D2. Lol!

Tagging my Forevers plus the few who have asked what I was working on in my absence. If you'd like to be tagged, just send me an ask 😀

ALSO A GIGANTIC, HUGE THANK YOU TO MY BETA @kazsrm67 FOR PUTTING UP WITH ALL THE MESSAGES. LOVE YOU, MEAN IT!! 😗

@spnbaby-67 @sea040561 @delightfullykrispypeach

@larajadeschmidt13 @atc74 @vicariouslythruspn @squirrelnotsam

@blacktithe7 @hoboal87 @mogaruke @supraveng @sandlee44

@lyarr24 @kazsrm67 @chriszgirl92 @deanwithscissors @raisinggray

@fanfic-n-tabulous @hobby27 @stoneyggirl @purpleeclipseeggsland @kmc1989

@leigh70 @foxyjwls007 @dingo-ate-my-hot-lettuce-crazy

@perpetualabsurdity @kickingitwithkirk @deans-spinster-witch @krazykelly

@chriszgirl92

#spn #after chuck #dean winchester #smut #fluff #angst #donna hanscum #friends to lovers

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rizlowwritessortof · 4 months ago

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Michaela’s mundane life takes a strange turn when she has a random encounter with a very attractive stranger in her local bar. It must be déjà vu – or maybe it isn’t.

Part 1 coming this weekend!

Tags for my lovelies:

@saenalife @deanscarlett @jensensgotyoudean @jinkieswouldyoulookatthis @deansdirtylittlesecretsblog

@geeklibrarian @leatherwhiskeycoffeeplaid @mrswhozeewhatsis @littlegreenplasticsoldier @sleep-silent-angel

@darcia22 @winchesterprincessbride @ellen-reincarnated1967 @eyes-of-a-disney-princess @deanslittleangel2y5

@melanie451 @spectaculacular-sammy @bookchic20 @jodyri @selma-jean-blog

@savingapplepie-eatingthings @kittenofdoomage @masked-maiden42 @lean-mean-deanwinchester @ericuhlorain

@undecided-garden @ceeceewinchester @typicalweirdbookworm @callmesweetheartifyoumeanit @youtoldalie

@tanithlowisabamf-blog @deandoesthingstome @jxackles @nerdwholikesword @soivebuiltupaworldofmagic

@kreweofimp @gabavaldman @chaos-and-the-calm67-blog @darkx143 @disassociativedogma

@ioanashalala @jencharlan @deansthirstblog @dorky-and-i-know-it @mischief-maker1

@winchestersandwordprocessors @percussiongirl2017 @bringmesomepie56 @akshi8278 @torn-and-frayed

@sandlee44 @wingedcatninja @evansrogerskitten @emoryhemsworth @peaceinourtime82

@dean-winchester-is-a-warrior @sarcasmqueen74 @maliburenee @mrsjenniferwinchester @yeehawbitchs

@emily-winchester @hobby27 spnbaby-67 @zepskies @ladysparkles78

@alwaystiredandconfused @just-another-busyfangirl

#remember me #this wip is finally gonna see the light of day

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impalaimagining · 2 years ago

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Anything you feel would go with this

Jared Padalecki x Reader

529 words

Warnings: semi-public smut, 18+ only

“No time for pleasantries.” His lips are hot on yours, his breath filling your lungs while his body knocks the air from your chest when your back hits the cement block wall.

You chortle, the laugh swallowed by Jared’s kisses. “Pleasantries? What is this, the Middle Ages?”

“Sorry.” Jared chuckles, his lips moving across your jawline. “Forgot to get fully out of character.”

He’s playing a British detective in his new role, and apparently the dialogue has made its way into his daily conversation - into his dirty talk. You cringe at the thought, but you’re quickly pulled back to reality by the scrape of Jared’s stubble against your neck.

“I only have five minutes. We’re breaking for a makeup touch-up.” He informs you, hands pushing up under your clothes.

Your intent was just to bring him lunch. Then you saw his costume, the suit, the fitted white shirt, the tailored pants. He saw the look in your eyes when he met your gaze as the director called cut, and he was pulling you into a dark corner within seconds.

Now his fingers are tucked into the front of your underwear, fingertips taunting your clit while you writhe between his hard, overheated body and an only slightly harder, cool wall.

You nod at his time constraint; no time for pleasantries, indeed. No time for much of anything with the way Jared fucks. He’s leaning against you, pinning you against the wall. You ache for him, clit throbbing under his touch, walls clenching around nothing. He’s hardly touching you.

Jared is teasing you, making you wait for the real thing.

Two can play this game. You reach forward, pressing your palm against the growing bulge in the front of his pants and rocking your hand forward. Just as quickly, you pull your hand away. You pluck at the top button on his white shirt and shove him backwards by the chest.

Jared is quick on his feet, never stumbling, even as you push him. His hands find the remaining buttons and he begins opening them, making a show of partially undressing, showing you his too-toned and too-tanned body.

It’s the middle of February, for Christ’s sake. No one should look like this all the time. But Jared does.

His eyes never leave yours, boring into you while he flashes his chest. Then he’s closing in on you again, but you meet him before he can capture you against the wall again. You spin him around, his back pressed against the blocks, and cup your palm around his cock through the fabric of his pants. With a soft squeeze, you feel his length twitch in your hand. He’s getting hard.

Looking up at Jared, you grin devilishly and stand on your toes to whisper in his ear. “No time for pleasantries.”

You back away, pushing his bagged lunch against his torso until he brings a hand up to grasp it. Jared is stunned, jaw slack, eyes wide. As you saunter away, hips swaying with purpose and pride, Jared makes a silent vow to himself to tease every inch of your body until you’re shameless, begging for him to be inside of you.

Drunk Drabbles April 14, 2023

Forever Tags: @atc74 @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce @beththedemonhunter @blacktithe7 @caswinchester2000 @chelseadanielle19 @countrygal17a @danathewitchywoman @deansgirl7695 @deanwanddamons @elizzysnow13 @ellen-reincarnated1967 @emoryhemsworth @esoltis280 @essie280 @feelmyroarrrr @foxyjwls007 @heartsaved @hillface89 @holyfuckloueh @hunterpuff @in-deans-arms @ladylachesis @lilredniki @linki-locks11 @mottergirl99 @mrswhozeewhatsis @notyourtypicalrose @plaid-lover-bay25 @riversong-sam @sandlee44 @sea040561 @shaelyn102 @smoothdogsgirl @snackles87 @soulmates8 @speakinvain @spn-dean-and-sam-winchester @spnbaby-67 @supernatural3002 @superromjin @tumblr-tidbits @vicmc624 @voltage-my2dlove @wayward-gypsy

Jared Tags: @deansgirl215 @fandom-princess-forevermore @lizmalfoywayland @mereka18 @princessofthefandomrealm @yoursmilemakesmeloveyou

#jared padalecki x reader #jared padalecki #jared x reader #jared padalecki fanfiction #jared padalecki fanfic #supernatural rpf #spn rpf #supernatural fanfic #supernatural fanfiction #jared padalecki x you #jared x you #supernatural x reader #supernatural x you #spn x reader #spn x you #drunk drabbles

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waywardnerd67 · 3 months ago

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📣 TITLE REVEAL 📣

I’m excited to share the title for book 2 in my Fangirl Series!

*drum roll*

Summer Tours and Hearts will be coming your way in February 2025! Keep an eye out for the cover reveal and official release date in next couple of months!

Don’t forget to check out Book 1, Reblogs and Hearts, on Amazon in paperback, hardcover and e-book!

Tagging a few friends below the line 😊

@waywardbaby @ladywinchester1967

@dean-winchesters-bacon @carryonmywaywardcaptain

@destiel745 @carribear31 @whimsicalrobots @adoptdontshoppets

@mrswhozeewhatsis @bella-ca @imascio08

@mannls @time-travel-bouqet @myinconnelly1 @maddiepants

@tumbler-tidbits @sandlee44 @destielhoneybee

@jerkbitchidjitassbutt @stoneyggirl @mimaria420

@emoryhemsworth @atc74 @cosicas-cuquis

@stixnstripesworld @sexyvixen7 @samsgirl93

@perpetualabsurdity @deanwanddamons

@smoothdogsgirl @lyarr24 @cevans-winchester

@nancymcl @djs8891

#summer tours and hearts #fangirl series #project rockstar #book title reveal #indie books #rockstar romance #love triangle #childhood friends #friends to lovers #slow burn

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holylulusworld · 6 months ago

Note

This is sandlee44 i had to make a new account because of my phone

Hi lovely! I'm sorry to hear. I updated my taglist and added your new blog to it.

#lulu answers #lovely people #sandlee44

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justagirlinafandomworld · 1 year ago

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Thank youuuu 🥰

Cover You

Fandom: MCU

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Summary: You’re the vigilante. Steve’s the hero. You flirted with the line between you, knowing nothing could ever happen. Things change when you take shelter in his apartment after a close call.

Word Count: 2,190

Warnings: dark-ish; blood; needles; light masochism/sadism; explicit smut; d in mouth; d in v

Written for the lovely @kellyn1604‘s 5K Challenge. Congrats again on the milestone!

The rain trickled down the window; a soft patter that filled the air like white noise. You sat in the darkness, water dripping from your chin, your hair – puddles gathered around your feet. A moment was all you needed.

The clock on the wall ticked away the seconds, the sharp sound ricocheting off linoleum. It was so like Steve to have a wall clock hanging in the kitchen.

Tires jetted through water in the streets below; laughter from maybe two floors down and the neighbor’s television sporting the nightly news.

Fingers, bare and numb clutched the curve of your knees, jeans soaked and torn from the scuffle.

You did not expect him to be home. You were not prepared for the groan of a floorboard. You had just needed a moment.

Instinct wiped away the blinding pain in your ribs, the burning of your jaw and how your lips felt bloody and wiped clear off your face. On your feet, pistol drawn, knuckles cracked and bloody.

Barrel pointed.

The clock ticked the next second.

Keep reading

#comment reblog #sandlee44

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paarthurnax59 · 1 year ago

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Little Sparrow: Chapter 5

Warnings: Not much, just some swearing.

Two days had passed after your late-night phone call with Sam. You were packing and preparing for your mission to find Van Helsing and take down Dracula. You and Jinette planned it all out, flight times, transportation, and inns where you would be able to stay in. You gathered every single weapon that might have a chance of killing Dracula or any other creature that will get in your way. Holy water, a silver stake, crucifix, your anti-heart detecting armor, night vision specs and a gun with silver bullets. Everything you needed was packed and ready to leave when you a knock on the door. Ceasing everything you were doing, you walked up to the door. You turned the knob and opening the mahogany door you see Carl.

“Carl!” You perked up and opened the door wider for him. “Come in!” You stepped out of the way, and he entered your spacious bedroom.

“Hello, (Name)! Cardinal Jinette told you would be leaving today.” He observed as he saw all the bags that you had in your room.

“Yes, I’m leaving today. I only have three weeks to hunt down Dracula and find Van Helsing. I’m almost ready and will head out before sundown.” You confirmed as held out your plane ticket and passport, being ready to leave for Transylvania. He looked around the room and saw an unfamiliar silver case that laid next to your bag, the case that contained the Holy Spear.

“Can I ask what this is, (Name)?” He said as walked over to your bed, making your heart rate increase rapidly. No one other than you and Jinette knew what was in that case, let alone what you plan on doing with it, not even Carl. You promised to keep it a secret from others, and you intend on doing so.

“That’s top secret, Carl. It’s between me and Jinette.” You jumped at him and placed a firm hand on the case. Carl, being understanding person that he was, stepped back and nodded.

“Very well, (Name). I won’t push it any further.” He agreed as another knock on the door was heard. You smile as you saw a few other friendly faces come at your door. Five of them to be precise. Two of them being the Tibetan monks that you had seen in Jinette’s office a few days prior, Norbu and Tenzin. Bowing as they enter, you return the bow. Few other also included Spanish, middle-aged nun, sister Maria Montello in her head wrap on her vale from, who was wearing her rosery on her neck. The fourth was an Ashkenazi Jewish rabbi, whom you know as Nicolaus Goldstein. He walked up to you and gave you a hug. What you didn’t know was that he gave Carl a death glare. Carl gulped in nervousness and looked away with from the angry Jewish man. Last but certainly not least, Imam Nasir Assad, a Muslim elder that you had grown so very fond of since you came to Vatican City. He helps invent and craft armor for the Order.

“It’s so good to see everyone again! I missed you all!” You said with a warm happy smile, seeing the friendly faces that you had known for ten years. “I hope everything is good for you guys.”

“Better now that you are back. We are very happy you have returned home, Rosa.” Said the kindhearted nun. When you were younger, you would help Sister Maria plant flowers in some of the Garden. Having difficulty adjusting to life in the Vatican, you found solace in helping create something beautiful. You would talk to her about your past and tragic experience of losing your family and being homeless. Sister Maria would often say you were like a rose, though beautiful and soft, can have many sharp thorns. Which is why she gave you the nickname Rosa. She was like a sister to you growing up.

“Well, I’m not staying for long. I must leave as soon as possible. I have already packed everything and about to head to the airport soon.” You tiredly converse with your older peers as you looked at your things that lied on you bed.

“That’s a real shame, (Name).” Said Tenzin looking at you with sad eyes. “It felt like you just got here and now you had to leave again for some time.”

“I know, but I have too. I don’t have much time for seeing all of you.”

“We know, but we understand. Van Helsing is important to all of us and we would rather have him back.” Rabbi Goldstein patted you on the back, speaking in his Yiddish accent.

“If I can get him back.” You said quietly, sadness laced in your voice. Everyone looked at you, their mood now sours a little from your lack of confidence. Nasir took a step forward with a deep sigh and place a hand on your shoulder. You looked up at him and saw he was brandishing an encouraging smile.

“You will find him. I know it. Have faith, (Name). He is much stronger than you think and so are you.” He reassured you as his hand disappeared from your shoulder. A sense of warmth had spread through your body after Nasir talking. He always had a gift for uplifting people’s mood and build up their conviction.

“Thank you, Nasir. And I will be back with him as soon as-”

“WHY WOULD YOU GIVE THAT MISSION TO HER?!” Your sentence was halted by thunderous yelling coming from outside of your room and began to follow where the commotion was coming from. Peeking out of the hall, you see Jinette there, along with an all too familiar man, staring down at him with a burning glare.

Father Giovanni Capuano, the second in command of the Order. AKA, one of the worst human beings you had ever met. Alongside him, was Jude Abernathy, one of the hunters of the order. He was Capuano’s protégé and another person you hated with a passion. Few other hunters stood beside Jude, glaring at your guardian with daggers in their eyes.

“I have my reasons for having (Name) go to fight Dracula, Father. As the head of the Order, I have strong faith in (Name) for the task that is assigned to her. I trust you do the same.” Jinette stood firmly and held his ground against the mob. He showed no fear as he stared down at each of them.

“Faith, ha! That girl had been nothing but trouble since she had come here as a child! She is a spoiled, little street rat with complete disregard for others and their lives! For all you know, she could get anyone she is involved with killed!” Capuano shouted now getting in Cardinal Jinette’s face. Your blood boiled as you ran toward them.

“If anyone of us have done what she did, we would have been expelled! She should get the same treatment.” Shouted Jude as he stepped in front of Jinette, towering over him with his tall frame. He glared down at him with his piecing blue eyes, trying all he can to intimidate Jinette.

“No! (Name), stop!” Cried Imam Nasir tried to pull you back but failed as you speed toward the crowded area where they were publicly harassing your adopted father.

“Hey! What’s going on here!” You shouted and soon enough, everyone’s eyes, attention…and ire… were on you.

“Well, if it isn’t the little princess, coming to the rescue!” Mocked a black woman who wore armor as she stood next to Jude. All the hunters had their turns giving you hate filled stares. Carl and the rest of your friends followed you out to the hallway, watching you stand up to your fellow hunters.

“Shove it, Nadia! How dare you gang up on Cardinal Jinette! Is this how you show respect to a man like him?! You have no right to tell him on how to run this organization.” You barked at the woman with as much courage as you could in front of the disgruntled crowd. Father Capuano looked at you with a smirk as he stood away from Jinette and to you.

“Respect, child? With the track record you have, you have no right to lecture to anyone about respect!” Father Capuano was so close to your face that you could smell the garlic on his breath. He ate too much of the stuff and it nauseated you. “If it were up to me, you would have been banished from this Order. It is foolish for him to have summoned you back. You should have stayed in America doing God knows what in that place.”

“Doing more than you ever did for the Order.” You snapped back at the priest. Capuano’s grin formed into a frown. You knew from the grape vine that Capuano hadn’t never been one to be at the for front of battle. When he had a crowd that surrounded him, sure he will stare you down. But when having to fighting for himself…he backs down like a dog with his tail between his legs. He paused in his speech and then that same malicious grin reared its ugly head once more.

“Do tell us what have you done, hmm? How about you tell us all about your time outside the Vatican.” He mocked you as you gritted your teeth. The other hunters snickered at you.

“Mind your own business, old man.” You growled as your clench your fists, wanting very much to punch this man. You had wanted to do that since the day you met with Jinette. The temptation just grew with each passing year.

“It is my business when you are part of the Order, girl! I am of a higher rank than you and you will respect that!” The elderly Italian man barked at you as the crowd, which now felt like an angry mob, shouted their own distain for you.

“You shouldn’t be going on this mission! You just end up getting someone killed again!” Shouted Jude as he prowled over to you and stood next to Father Capuano, who was smirking down at you. “Father Capuano is right; you should be kicked out!”

“ENOUGH!” Shouted Jinette and everyone ceased their idle disagreements as they all turned to the leader of the order ounce more. All were amazed at how loud the old man was able to silence the entire hallway, including you and your companions. “I will hear no more of this! You are all acting like children! (Name) will go to Transylvania, find Van Helsing and kill Dracula! That is final!” with his conclusive declaration, he stormed off into the direction of his office. You observed with concern and were about to run after him when someone grabbed your arm and turned to find it was Father Capuano, pulling you to him. His lips were to your ear and whispered lowly so that only you could hear him.

“You are very lucky that Jinette favors you so much. For if it weren’t for him, you would be rotting in a cell after you had tried to steal from him when you were a thieving, little brat.” He snarled as he gripped onto your arm a little tighter. You try not to budge at his iron hold on you. Not letting the man see you expressing any amount of discomfort. “Let me make this clear, girl. You have brought great shame to this Order. So much so you would have been exiled and never to return. And I am not the only one.” He said making you look to the other hunters. The lot of them looked at you with distain. Once a upon a time, you would consider these people your brothers and sisters. They were your family. But due to past transgressions, you had lost any trust and respect from them. They treated you like a pariah sense you had returned to Vatican City. Even when they would interact with you, they would glare at you with daggers in their eyes. “Yes, your fellow hunters despise you. You are not wanted here.” He whispered maliciously. Not wanting to hear anymore, you slip out of the old man’s grasp and huffed in anger as you turn to him.

“Like I need any of that. I’m only here to help find Van Helsing and kill Dracula. That’s it.” You attempt to say with great confidence, which you found yourself failing before the old priest.

“Oh, and how to do you plan on doing that? Using a silver stake or a crucifix?” He chuckled with his arms folded, looking down on you with cruel amusement. “You have heard the legends, no one has been able to kill Dracula for centuries. This is not some regular vampire we are talking about. This is a monster that has lived for hundreds of years, whose strength and ferocity can rival that of the devil himself. He is in a league of his own. What chance do you have with this creature? What sort of weapon would you, of all people, possess to take out such a beast?” He snickered as he watched for any sign of fear or hesitation in your demeanor. In the end he found none. Instead, you stood straight and smirked as you folded your arms. A smirk appeared on your face.

“That information is between me and Father Jinette. You heard him, it has been settled, Father Capuano.” You stated confidently, as Capuano lowered his arms down as a frown appeared on his face. “Now, if you will excuse me, I need to go talk to him about the final preparations for my departure. Have a good day, Father.” You start to walk away from before you heard his grating voice one more time before you disappear from the hallway.

“Well, I’m sure Van Helsing will be so ecstatic to see you. Do tell him I said hello and hope he’s well…that is if he will speak to you.” He chuckled from behind you shortly before you heard heavy footsteps of his Italian leather boots sauntered down the halls and a few other footsteps followed him, knowing full well it was the other hunters taking their leave. Turning around, you noticed that Carl was standing a few feet away from you, with an appearance of sympathy after having to face an army of hunters.

“(Name), are you okay?” Carl stepped up to your and rubbed your arm to keep you from getting riled up.

“Yeah, yeah. I will be okay.” You lied through your teeth for Carl to stop fretting over you so much. In truth, you were pissed. Pissed at the fact that Capuano had throwing so much disrespect to Jinette and for shoving your own past failures into your face. Most of all, you were fuming at the fact that you let the stupid, old coot for getting under your skin. You told yourself that you would never let that happen when you came back to Vatican City. Not to mention the mass crowd of your former friends. People that were the closest thing that you had to siblings. You had tried so hard to keep this kind of situation from happing again.

“Look, (Name), if you need to talk about-” Carl started with a soft voice, but you interrupted him.

“No, I’m sorry Carl, but I can’t talk about it. I need to get to Jinette and make the final plans for my mission. I will talk to you later, okay?” You turned away from him as you finally let the tears flow down your cheeks.

…

At last, you reached the familiar mahogany double doors of your godfather’s office. The guards stood by as they took a single glance at you before you knocked on the door.

“Father Jinette? It’s (Name). Are you in there?” You requested softly but still with a voice loud enough for him to hear.

“He said you can enter. But only you, miss.” Said one of the guards before he reached out to open the door for you.

“Thank you.” You acknowledged the man as you went in to see your guardian sitting at his desk, rubbing his head with his hands. Jinette looked tired and worn out. He was taking deep breaths and heavily sighed. Also, you could have sworn you saw him shaking a little. You can tell that he wasn’t well now. “Father Jinette…are you okay?” You asked taking steps closer to his desk.

“I’ll be alright, Paressa. Just having much to deal with lately.” He sounded drained assured you, or at least attempting to. Yet, you were not buying it for one second.

You told Carl that you wanted to talk to Jinette about making last minute preparations for your search for Dracula and Van Helsing. Which was true and you were leaving today. However, with the way that the poor old man had been dog piled just ten minutes ago, you were worried. Concerned that the excitement had been a bit much for him. He may have been a great warrior back in his day, but now? He was now a much older and frail version of his former self.

Never would you say it to him in person, but you can see it in his eyes. Jinette seemed like a very different person when you last saw him eight years ago. He was tired and the stress that he was being put under was not doing him any good. You can’t help but blame yourself for it. You simply being here had stirred enough controversy. Now that you were not only rescueung one of the best hunters in the Order, but also kill one of the most infamous monsters in history. All this cannot be good on your godfather’s health. He had enough to deal with as it is. You only wanted to check in on him and hopefully get the last of your preparations in order. Time was running out with each passing minute you spent not looking for Van Helsing. No matter what was going on in your life or what you had done, you needed to move forward.

“I know, you shouldn’t have been yelled at like that. You didn’t deserve it.” You knelt next to him, watching him while he tried to calm his emotions.

“Thank you, (Name). Once more, thank you for standing in. I know with everything that has gone on with you, that wasn’t easy for you.” Jinette gently grabbed your chin with his rough, aged hand. You smiled up at him while you grabbed his hand. You gave it a gentle kiss with as much affection. Jinette smiled back only for a second but his smiled formed to a frown. He noticed some redness in your eyes and nose. The tears that had not shed down your face because you too were trying to hold in your distress. “Paressa, is there something that you need to talk about with me?” He questioned you, making you blink at his inquire.

“What do you mean?” Your reply short and trying not to get into the drama you both had witnessed.

“Well, unless my eyes have gotten worse, I could have sworn I saw some remanence of you crying before you came to my office.” Jinette answered, making your breath hitch. You cursed yourself for him noticing your tears. “And If I am correct, I do believe I know the culprit of these tears.” He asked you again as a single tear came down your face. He whipped it away before you even realized it.

“Father…”

“What did Giovanni say to you?” He was quick to probe you, knowing full well who made you cry. Jinette knew about your bitter history with Father Capuano. When you met him, it was at the time that you were caught stealing food from Jinette in Paris. Unlike your godfather and some others, Giovanni never warmed up to you, and vice versa. He felt as though that you were the scum under his boot. Just waiting for an opportunity for you to mess up and made you feel like you had caused Mount Vesuvius to erupt while at the same time drop an atom bomb in the heart of Rome. Jinette, and the rest of your friends, often enough had to come in and save you from his harsh criticism. He hated you and you hated him. You thought for a moment of what to say to Jinette, not wanting to cause any more drama.

“He thinks I can’t do this. That I can’t take down Dracula and save Van Helsing. That everyone here aside from you and few others that I don’t belong here.” You answered as honestly as possible without mentioning the fact he said you belonged in a cell. Giovanni was the one person that made you feel insufficient. The man knew the right buttons to push when it came to your insecurities. He just had to pick a weak spot.

“Paressa…”

“Are you sure you want me to go, Jinette? There are other hunters in this order that can go and rescue Van Helsing. So many of them far more experienced than I am. They can find a way to take down Dracula far better than I could, and faster! I just don’t want anything to happen to Van Helsing! I still care too much about him to be risking his possible safe return…Even if I am the last person he wants to see.” He was taken aback by your admission, but he also understood. You and Van Helsing were not on good terms when you left. In fact, they were far from it when you went to the states. Which really saddened the old man considering how close you were to him. Despite your struggles, you were always a self-assured girl who never really cared for the opinions of others. Yet, when it came to Van Helsing, it was a very different story. When things fell apart between you, that was when you left the Order. You didn’t care about the others or their opinion of you, unless it affected others like Jinette or your friends. He rose, taking you with him, and embraced you in a warm, comforting hug.

“(Name), there is no other person that I want to go on this hunt. I know your relationship with Gabriel is stained and broken.” He stroked your back when he spoke. “But it is still salvageable.” Jinette admitted as he let you. His confession made you turn to him with some, while a few te

“How can you be so sure? I mean the last time we spoke he said…”

“I don’t care what he said, considering that his actions spoke louder than words.” He cut you off before you said anything else.

“What do you mean?” You asked as your twisted in confusion.

“He never expressed this to me or anyone else for that matter, but I have noticed something.” He started as he walked away from you and to his large grand window that let him look out Vatican City. Some parts of the ancient city that laid beyond it. “You know when someone has lost something, a sense of longing follows them like a shadow? You can almost instantly notice a change in them right away. They way they speak and the way they move. A missing piece that is stripped from them and replaced by an emptiness that will never be gone unless that void is filled.” He didn’t turn to you as he talked, just stared out into the window as he let his mind wander. “That… my dear Paressa…is what I had seen when I look at Van Helsing, ever since you left.”

“Really?” You perked up when you heard him open about what had transpired with Van Helsing after leaving the Order. In truth, not a day went by you didn’t think of Gabriel Van Helsing. Even when you were traveling with the Winchesters and dating Dean, you still thought about him. You missed more than words can never express. Asking yourself as you lay down in your bed at night, even as you laid down with Dean. What was he doing? Who was he hunting with? What was he hunting? Was he alive and safe?

You never told Dean about Van Helsing. Sure, you had shared some details about him with the boys, but you never really got into the bond you had. A part of you wanted to keep Van Helsing to yourself. Like he was your own deep dark secret that you wanted to keep hidden from the world. Including Dean. You felt like you were betraying him by thinking about Van Helsing while you went out on dates, hunting and even when you made love together. You loved Dean, hell, you still do. Despite what he had said and done to you. But you can’t escape this feeling you get when you think back on your times with Van Helsing. Like there is a piece of you that will always belong to him. A piece that Dean could never have. Even now with Dean having the Mark, how it’s affecting him, your mind is still fixed on Van Helsing.

“I do believe…through going on this hunt…you will find what you lost. After that, whatever challenges you face, will become easier when you face them. No matter what.” He slowly faced you, his words making your eyes blink at him. You don’t know whether he’s being overly optimistic, or he had maybe gone a little senile. Nevertheless, you will take his word for it for now. Jinette has never steered you wrong before. You took a deep breath and tossed aside the hurtful encounter you had with Giovanni with it. Your head hung for a second and looked up back at Jinette, a sad smile surfaced on your face.

“Okay, I’ll try.”

“Good and as for Giovanni…to Hell with him.” He smirked making you gasp.

“Father Jinette! You swore in the Lord’s house!” You laughed as you covered your mouth in shock. The old man chuckled at how amused you were at your very first time at hearing him swear.

“I believe He would agree with when it comes Giovanni.” He chortled while he pointed upward as an amused grin on his face. You never thought Jinette had gotten so bold in the time you were away. “So…I know I have you leaving today at noon.” He clarified as his laughter died out in him. You nodded, wondering where this was going with this. “However, I have been thinking about something. I feel that it would be unfair for me to make you go alone.” He continued, causing your head to tilt in confusion.

“Jinette are you…?”

“No, I am not going with you. Believe me, I would if I could, Paressa.” He answered and feeling of disappointment creeped up in you. At times, you wanted to see what the man was like as a hunter. To see a legend like Jinette in action. But that was when he was a younger man. He was older now, old, and tired. He didn’t have the strength to hunt like you or any other hunter.

“Then who is going with me?” As you asked him, you heard quickening footsteps come into the room.

“Father Jinette! You need me for something?! I was in the middle of a new experiment!” Shouted Carl after he came into the room.

“Ah, Carl! Right on time!” Jinette with a smirk when he approached the unsuspecting priest now standing unsuspectingly in the middle of the room.

“Yes… one of your guards came and insisted that I needed to see you, immediately. What is the emergency!?” He said as he looked all frantic and shaky. Apparently, whatever Jinette to get him here, must be important.

“Well, you see, Carl. Our dear (Name) will be leaving us for Romania.” He placed a hand on Carl’s shoulder and then pulled out what looked like an envelope. Carl looked at both you and Jinette back and forth before muttering an ‘okay’ before he opened it. His hand reached inside and pulled out what looked like two plane tickets, plane tickets.

“Your grace, what is this?” He said looking nervous at his superior.

“What do you think they are, my boy?” He answered with his hands behind his back, pretending to look as innocent as possible.

“Well, they look like two plane tickets to Romania. Is someone going with her?” He asked, his tone and facial expression getting both seeming to be more on edge.

“Yes, someone is going with her.” Jinette hand tightened on Carl’s shoulder. He raised his eyebrow with a no so innocent smile. “You are.” Carl was speechless for a second before answering the head of the Order. His mouth dropped before he looked back and forth to the two of you. You are also surprised by what Jinette had said.

“I beg your pardon, your grace, but I am not really a field man.” He said as he stepped away from two of his closest friends, his voice shaking with a nervous smile plastered on his face.

“I know. You are not a hunter, but your knowledge of monsters and dark creatures will help serve our dear (Name) on her mission. Also, I understand that you have new equipment that you are looking to test it out. I can’t think of a greater opportunity for you to show case your talents.” He encouraged which you were not sure it was working as well as you hoped. As far as you knew, Carl had never been out hunting before. So having him go hunt with you would defiantly be a bit nerve wrecking for him.

“But I don’t have anything packed! And she’s leaving in two hours!” he whined at he pointed at you.

“Not to worry. I had some provisions packed for you.” As Jinette stated, one of Jinette’s large bodyguards in nearly all black came in with two large suitcases. Carl jumped as the huge, burly beast of a man throw his suitcases onto the floor. You looked over the luggage and noticed that it was a lot of the equipment from the lab, and one was Carl’s own suitcase. “Thank you, Victor. I trust you packed everything?”

“Yes, your Grace. Everything that is needed on this packed away.” Responded the large man with a Russian accent. Carl had his mouth wide open with a shocked expression on his face as the two other men converse like he wasn’t even there.

“Very well, you may take your leave now, Victor.” The man bowed and walked out without sparing a glance at either you or Carl. “Now, you were saying, Carl? A car is now waiting for you both to take you the airport. I suggest you both be on your way. Good luck and may God be with you on your mission.” He taunted the poor priest with a smirk and finally walked out

“But…Your grace! I don’t want to go to Transylvania!!!” Carl whined trying to get his attention and come back.

“Carl, give it a rest. You know once he made up his mind, there is no changing it.” You sighed with an eye roll, though you can’t help but feel bad for him. Unlike you, Carl wasn’t a warrior or a hunter. Brilliant and inventive, but not a fighter. Placing a hand on his shoulder, Carl looks at you with concern in his eyes. “Don’t worry, Carl. I will make sure that nothing happens to you. I swear it.”

“I’ll keep you to that. I don’t need to become vampire food.” He whines again without looking at you and you smirked in amusement.

“Come on, lets go get Van Helsing and kill Dracula.” You say before you walked out of the Office. Thoughts swam in your head as you walked out to the large grand building and to the car that is waiting for you. With Jinette’s encouraging words now planted in your mind, you have stringer hope and determination to succeed on this hunt. A small smile grew on your face as you walked down the halls with Carl trailing behind you.

“Hang on, Gabriel, I’m coming.”

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