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icallhimjoey · 2 years ago

Text

Only Now

♥ ♥ Rockstar!Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

Summary: Eddie needs Hawkins, needs his old friends, needs you to ground him every couple of months. And so he visits for a few days in the middle of December and lets all of you pretend you're momentarily back in '88, and it's beautiful, but it hurts. A lot.

Author’s note: Christmas came early @joejoequinnquinn! Surprise! This one's just for you as part of @quinnyfairy's Secret Santa Project; my very first (and maybe last, idk) Eddie fic ever. Hope you enjoy!!

CW / disclaimer: 18+, angsty, swearing (lots), drinking, little smutty sort of, reader celebrates Christmas (some form of it anyway) and also my very first time writing for Eddie so please bear with!

Wordcount: 9.5K

(find all other parts of this story here) God, how you wished you could slow down time. You wanted longer minutes, longer hours. Slower ticking clocks. Maybe even freeze time all together, just so you could relish his company for longer. It felt like the minutes were slipping by in record time and sleeping through them only sped them up even more. So, you laid awake instead, and mentally willed the stretch between each tick of your clock to lengthen as you stared at Eddie next to you.

You were trying to stay quiet. Not let Eddie hear you cry, because you knew if he did, he’d shake his sleep off of him and wouldn’t be able to get back to it. It was only quarter past two, which was far too many hours ‘til morning still, and Eddie needed his sleep. This was likely the last night he'd sleep in an actual bed; for the next few weeks it'd be bunkbeds on buses and couches in dressing rooms.

He looked so soft with his hair braided up and out of his face, still wet from when he’d let you wash it hours earlier. How could you not cry at the sheer sight of him? He’d never let anyone else see him like this, you knew it to be true, and those soft noises he made? The grunts, mumbles and groans his sleep let escape him? Just for you, you were convinced.

You felt a fresh tear roll over the bridge of your nose, and there was no point in wiping it away. You knew it would find your pillow or your covers to disappear into. This was exactly what Steve had warned you about, countless times. He’d said he wouldn’t allow you to slip back and do this all over again, not after the last time, but when Eddie arrived three days ago, you’d seen Steve struggle with the same inner battle. He’d missed Eddie just as much and just as easily would let himself transport back to ’87, ’88.

“He’s here!” Steve had gotten up from the picnic table you’d both been sat on outside of your apartment building as you’d waited for Eddie. Butts perched up on the tabletop, feet on the wooden bench below you, up and away from the cold ground below it, you’d been chatting, and Steve had tried to talk some sense into you before Eddie’s taxi had pulled up.

“I know you think he needs it, but ultimately, you know you shouldn’t let him,” Steve had said, placing blame with you. You shouldn’t let him. Not, Eddie shouldn’t do this.

“I know,” you agreed, but you were the one thinking all your thoughts, feeling all your feelings. Not Steve. You knew very well that you shouldn’t let Eddie come into your world and pretend you were still twenty and fresh-faced for a few days before he’d fuck off and leave you again. But what was the alternative? Have none of Eddie at all? That option seemed much worse.

“I know you know, but it’d be great if you made smart choices. Smarter choices.” Steve referenced the last time Eddie had been in town. He had visited Hawkins for six days last May, and for weeks afterwards, Steve had been busy picking up the pieces of you that you didn’t seem to be able to hold onto yourself. He had to put real effort in to put you back together, slowly but surely, until you felt like a human being again.

Steve was a good friend. It was because Steve also missed Eddie a lot, so he understood on another level, but it also meant he let his mind get cloudy when Eddie was around. Neither of you were part of Eddie’s life anymore, not like you were before he’d left, and neither of you liked that. The three of you had almost joined at the hip, and whenever Steve would hang out with Robin, you and Eddie would play house. Eddie was your not-boyfriend, and you were his not-girlfriend. For all intends and purposes, you were absolutely dating each other. But if someone asked if Eddie was your boyfriend, or if you were his girlfriend, you’d always say no. No. You were just friends. Except you weren’t. But you were.

Now, you were pieces of the puzzle of Hawkins to him, the place he would come back to every couple of months when he’d find the time in between tours. Eddie needed the place to ground himself, to feel like the person he felt he still was on the inside. He would keep that Eddie in his own pocket, but he would always lose that version of himself on stage after doing a few shows. He wouldn’t realise he’d gone missing until he’d smash another TV in a hotel room with strangers who pretended to be his friends, and girls who were only there because he was the Eddie Munson, front man to famous metal band Corroded Coffin. That’s when he’d call Wayne and he would tell him to let everyone know he’d be coming down soon. Make sure Hawkins was ready for him. Lay the red carpets out. And Wayne would chuckle, and then he’d just tell the two of you.

"Munson!" Steve called out as he walked towards the taxi that Eddie had just opened the door of, his arms already opening.

"Harrington!" Eddie called back in the same tone once he stepped out and saw Steve.

Eddie looked absolutely horrible. Like he hadn't stopped continuously drinking and hadn't slept for days. But he smiled, and when Steve jumped him, he hugged him back with strong arms and patting hands.

"Jesus, you smell like the floor of a dive bar," Steve said, and it made Eddie throw his head back with laughter.

They broke into a playful scuffle, half wrestling, half still hugging, poking fingers at each other like teenage boys who didn't know how else to express affection. Their grunting and laughing reached your ears and made you smile. You stayed put, sat on your hands on the picnic table still, not wanting to intrude on their moment together, until Eddie caught your eye over Steve's shoulder.

"You," Eddie pointed, and you saw the glint in his eyes change. Eddie looked at you different, and it made the words Steve had tried so hard to imprint onto you immediately disappear. Eddie was here. And he was looking at you.

"Get your ass over here," Eddie beckoned with wild arms as he started walking towards you himself, leaving Steve to take Eddie's duffle bag from the taxi driver.

You pushed yourself from the bench, and took small steps, but stopped when Eddie started running and looked at you the same way he had looked at Steve when he'd started wrestling him. Full puppy dog energy. You let him crash into you, lift you from your feet and swing you around, legs flailing and voice squealing. Steve was right. Eddie smelled like he'd washed his hair with beer a couple days ago and hadn't touched it since.

"Missed you," Eddie spoke into your hair before planting a kiss there and putting you down. Missed you more, you thought, but couldn't say it. You took a minute to look at him, still in his grip. Eddie looked older, like he had aged twice as fast as you had. There were more lines on his face and his eyes sat a little deeper. His hair lacked shine and his scruff eyed unruly. You wondered how long ago it was since Eddie had eaten a vegetable.

"How long are you staying for?" you asked before saying anything else. Please stay for Christmas, you thought. Please.

"Just a few days," Eddie said, and it pained you that he said it like it was good news. Like he couldn't actually wait to get out of here again. Like that didn't absolutely wreck you.

"Let's head inside, it's fucking freezing," Steve walked past you and broke your moment with Eddie, slinging a protective arm around your shoulder, ensuring that you fell into step together as you made your way inside. You feared you'd shown too much in your face. Things that Steve had definitely spotted, but somehow, Eddie hadn't.

You headed up to Steve's apartment together, Steve decided. In the elevator, Steve pressed the button for his floor, not yours, and the second of quick eye contact between the two of you said enough. Once inside, Eddie immediately asked if it was okay for him to take a quick shower. You know, because he'd been traveling so long, Eddie said. Not because the stench of alcohol really had almost become too overwhelming in the small space of the elevator, and Eddie realised just then how clean and healthy you and Steve looked compared to him, all flushed cheeks, bright eyes, and plump skin.

When Eddie locked the door behind him, you caught your reflection in Steve's hallway mirror and immediately regained your composure; you stood up straight, pulled your shoulders back and relaxed your brow. Eddie was here. You were going to have fun together. Even if it was just for a few days. Maybe even more so because of it, because now it was extra important to make every second count.

"You okay?" Steve saw. You smiled and said you were. Eddie was here now. You did a good job pushing all sadness aside and told it to not pop back up until later. Sometime after Christmas maybe. You could deal with it then. Steve accepted your smile, happy to see you still had it ready for him, but he worried about you anyway.

"Where is he?"

It was much later, and Robin used her spare key to let herself into Steve's apartment, not bothering to announce her arrival by ringing the doorbell, not willing to wait for someone else to let her in. You saw Eddie smile, mouth full of pizza still, as he immediately got up from where he was sat on the floor by the coffee table.

Robin walked in, hidden inside a heavy coat, under a wool beanie and wrapped up in a thick scarf. Whatever pieces of hair you could see were wet from the snow that had started coming down late afternoon and hadn't stopped since.

"Oh my God, it's famous rockstar Eddie Munson!" Robin shrieked and bounced as Eddie leant in to hug her tight. He lifted her up, just like he'd done with you, except Robin didn't get any spins or whispers placed into her hair. "Steve!" she called over Eddie's shoulder. "You've got someone famous in your home!"

"All right," Eddie laughed bashfully, "It's just the town's freak today, I’m afraid."

"Yea, a freak who apparently is now friends with Alanis Morissette?! What the fuck, Eddie?" Robin punched Eddie in the arm.

"I've met her once," Eddie argued as he sat back down, looking at you and rolling his eyes. It was aimed at Robin, but he made sure she couldn't see, and you giggled together.

You spent the evening chatting, eating, and drinking. Drinks that Eddie turned down with a swift, "Nah, I'm good, thanks," and you wondered if he didn't touch a single drop just because Steve had made that comment about his scent earlier.

Robin was her chaotic cheerful self and couldn't stop asking Eddie questions. It meant you got to sit back and listen, bask in the company of your friends. As the hours passed, you turned more into the people you once were, and you couldn't help but love every second of it. Steve started using pet names he hadn't used in ages. Robin made sarcastic jokes at the expense of others so skillfully, no one minded them at all. Eddie grew more theatrical in the way you knew him to be, silly, loud, enthusiastic, and stupid, just the way you liked him most. The second you'd stop giggling, someone would do or say something that would get you reared right back up again, and you'd all join in, smug faces with dumb smiles. You weren't sure if you also became more of the girl you once were, or what that even looked like, but you were having fun, and that was all that mattered.

"Where are you staying?" Robin asked Eddie, like she didn't already know. Maybe she didn't, you thought for a second, because why else would she even bring it up? Maybe it was just polite conversation as she started getting ready to go home and brace the cold once more.

"I think–" Eddie squeezed his eyes shut for a second, before cocking his head your way. "–there's a very comfortable couch made up somewhere in this building for me," Eddie smiled. You nodded because he was right. You had fashioned your couch into a comfortable guest bed, but all four of you knew that there wasn't a chance Eddie was going to use it. There was no reason for you to have gotten the extra pillows, duvets, and sheets out, but you had done it anyway. If not to fool anyone else, then at least to fool yourself.

And fool yourself you did. But only for a minute.

"I've got extra blankets here if you need them. Another pillow too, if that one's too firm," you gestured at a closet as Eddie dropped his duffle bag onto your made-up couch. He looked around a second. You'd made the couch look very cosy, and Eddie almost pouted at the effort you'd put in. But then he looked towards the hallway, and without saying anything, let his feet follow his gaze. He just walked right out. You heard him flip the light switch in your bedroom, followed by the soft sound of a thud to your mattress, and then a heavy blissful sigh.

You knew you shouldn't. But you also knew you absolutely would.

Without putting up a fight, without even trying to pretend this wasn’t what you wanted, you got into bed with Eddie and let him pull you close. Eddie hugged you, face to face, and you hugged him back, clinging. Almost as if a hunger inside you that hadn't been stilled in months finally found its satisfaction. All your senses were being fed with all things Eddie, and you reveled in his embrace. Eddie felt strong, but somehow frail too, which was a little troubling. And he smelled like Steve's shampoo, which was a lot troubling. But he was warm, and you were held. It was so very welcoming. So needed. You hugged each other like you used to do all the time, and you nuzzled into him, your nose pressing firmly into his neck. Something in your chest slotted into place, and it felt right.

"Why are you sad?" Eddie asked after a few beats of silence. It was earnest and sober. A question he'd never ask you if you weren't alone together. In the dark, together.

You hated that he'd seen it within you. But how could he not have?

"I'm not," you whispered, and Eddie didn't believe you, but pulled you closer in response. "Go to sleep, you look like you need it," you didn't want to talk anymore. One of Eddie's hands searched to find one of yours to grab onto. To squeeze. And he would've kissed you if he hadn't been so tired.

"Is it the memories?" Eddie asked the darkness that surrounded you, revealing he still knew you better than you knew yourself. Memories had their way of rearing up and sinking their teeth into your present, and you hadn't yet figured out how to not let them hurt you.

Just to put the matter to rest, and because you didn't want to lie to Eddie, you agreed. "It's the memories."

Eddie moved a little before you felt and heard a kiss close to your ear. "I'm here." And he was.

The next morning you woke up being the small spoon to Eddie's big spoon. Eddie had himself wrapped all around you, a leg slung over you up so high, its thigh covered your hip. His nose pressed into your neck where his lips were fluttering soft kisses that tickled you awake slowly. It was the best wake up call you'd gotten in a while, and you pretended you were still asleep, just so the moment would last you longer.

You wanted to take whatever you could get, knowing you would only be able to have it for a short amount of time. It would absolutely ruin you the next time you'd wake up in your bed alone, but you were too greedy for it now not to bask in it. Swim in it forever. Let it bubble around you, like in a hot tub.

Eddie let a hand roam underneath your shirt. They were slow, soft fingers, cool against your skin, but the stroke of them gratifying. Instead of going for a squeeze - which you were totally expecting, you knew Eddie - he pressed his flat palm right in the middle of your chest, catching cleavage, but mostly monitoring your heart rate.

He curled around you more, tightened his arms and pulled you in closer, using the hand over your heart to push you into him. You let him do whatever he wanted, and tried to control your breathing as best you could. He then found a spot on your neck to lick, and just like Eddie predicted, it made your heart beat faster instantly. He knew you were awake.

"Good morning," Eddie's voice vibrated impossibly low and sensual, and it sent a shiver down your spine.

Eddie tilted his hips and your breathe caught and shattered. You could feel him press up against you, impossibly hard for you, and it made you want to push back into him more. You didn't move, though, and instead kept your eyes closed and your hands in place. You knew what would happen if you did push back into him; if you did let your hands wander where they were itching to go.

You took a deep breath to shake it off and you felt Eddie do the same. With his face nuzzled into your neck still, Eddie was inhaling you, and you felt him rock his hips into you once more.

You couldn't. Not yet, anyway. Because Steve was in your mind still, with important words of advice you promised you'd guard yourself with when it would eventually come down to this.

Eddie sensed your apprehension and stopped, halting everything he was doing. His hand immediately slipped from your top and his leg moved down yours a little which freed you from the death grip he'd had on you. His common sense returned too abruptly for your liking, though, and you whined at your sudden loss of him. Eddie immediately regretted the severe, quick change in his demeanor. To make it up to you, he lifted himself over you far enough to press a warm, sweet kiss onto your cheek.

"Did you sleep OK?" Eddie sounded much more awake this time.

It was a good thing Eddie got up and out of bed. Every minute you spent in Eddie's arms like that, only made you want it more. He didn't necessarily need to climb out on your side of the bed, though, but the way he had rolled over you, pushing you down into the mattress as roughly as he could whilst muttering, "oh, sorry, just sneaking past, excuse me, sorry," injected humor into your morning together.

It was only a few hours later that you were absolutely freezing your tits off, watching Eddie and Dustin who were quite literally frollicking in the park. It didn't matter how old they were, or how old they'd ever be; these boys would lay their eyes upon each other, and energy would just shoot into their legs. They were running, shouting at each other and laughing loudly. After five minutes of flinging powdery snow and trying to make one another topple over to get a full face of it, you saw the beginnings of little snowballs that they then started rolling into bigger ones.

It was so cold. You had your gloved hands tucked deeply into the pockets of your coat, your chin dipped into your scarf and your face displayed a permanent grimace as it dealt with the biting breeze it couldn't escape.

"Are they... are they seriously going to build a snowman?"

Mike stood next to you, same grimace displayed on his face, shivering even more than you were. He was still just as lanky as he'd been in high school. Tall, thin, unproportionally long limbs and barely any bodyfat at all. Mike wasn't built to keep himself even slightly warm in cold winters like this one. He was too cool for school, too. Too cool to join Dustin and Eddie in their play, so he watched them from the sidelines, just like you did.

"Do you want to go get a coffee?" you asked Mike, turning your full body instead of just your face to look at him, desperate for some warmth and for some caffeine.

"Guys!" Mike called over. "Wanna go grab a coffee?"

You smiled a small smile to yourself. You would've absolutely left Eddie and Dustin for a moment to get a coffee alone with Mike, but Mike clearly didn't think walking off with only you was even an option. It was all right. You and Mike weren't friends. You understood if Mike thought it'd be awkward.

Neither Eddie nor Dustin reacted to Mike's question. They were too busy making sure their ball of snow didn't collapse in on itself. You saw some of Eddie's wet hair strands stick to his face, mouth open as he breathed heavily, letting Dustin tell him how to use his hands in swiping motions to get the shape right. Both of their jeans had big wet patches at the knees and you wondered how cold and uncomfortable they were going to be for the rest of the day. Mike let a weird, sort of judgmental laugh escape his throat before he shook his head. You grinned at Mike. Where Dustin was so openly a fan of Eddie, Mike quietly tried to hide his - to you - obvious admiration for Eddie. You guessed Mike was secretly way more impressed with him than he let on, and desperately wanted to impress Eddie himself too. Dustin was the guy who would unashamedly pin a poster of Eddie up onto his wall, happily displaying that he was friends with Eddie Munson and was so very proud of him. Mike was the guy who thought that putting up posters was definitely not cool, but instead would try to casually name drop Eddie any time he could.

"Well," Mike said. "At least they're having fun," and it didn't sound like a comment Mike would make, but more like he thought it was a good thing to say in the moment. To fill the silence he didn't know how else to fill. And in a desperate attempt to keep conversation with you going, Mike's mind came up with a question he asked before his brain had even thought of what your reaction to it could be.

"What's it like having your boyfriend back?" Mike asked, and you felt your chest tighten, but were incredibly quick to respond. It was like you'd kept the answer ready in your mouth, because you anticipated someone saying something along the lines of what Mike just said.

"Eddie's not my boyfriend."

You'd said the same thing so many times in your teens that you instantly felt transported back in time a bit. You always fully believed yourself when you said that you and Eddie weren't dating, wholly trusted that you were speaking the truth. But it also always hurt you. It was a sentence that scratched at your insides with long, sharp nails that could puncture your flesh if you weren't careful.

"Ex-boyfriend, sorry," Mike corrected himself like he knew what he was talking about.

"Not that either."

You wondered if Mike thought it had been weird when you and Eddie had walked up holding hands, especially if he also thought that you used to date a long time ago. What kind of ex-lovers held hands still?

You hid yourself into your shoulders a bit more and felt how you had lost complete feeling in your toes. Mike frowned at you in confusion. He'd been around you when you were younger. He looked up to Eddie then, and still did now, and where ever Eddie was, you would be too. Robin would shout inappropriate jokes about you in public places all the time. Mike remembered how Eddie had ran after you once, just to squeeze your ass with both his hands, and you'd just turned around and smiled at him. You had let Eddie stop you, even though you were late for something already, and Mike had heard how Robin softly said to Steve that you were definitely fucking each other, which had made Steve scoff loudly. "No, they're not!" Steve had exclaimed. But then they all saw how you looped fingers through a belt hoop on Eddie's jeans to pull him closer into you, and Robin had given Steve a look that said, see? And Steve had stared for a moment before stuttering, "Oh, so, maybe they are...".

"We've never dated," you stated, sensing Mike's confusion with your eyes back on Dustin and Eddie who had now seemingly found themselves in a snowball fight. Dustin hid behind what was starting to look like a snowman, but seemed abandoned now. They wouldn't finish it, you knew it, and that was okay, because numbness was starting to creep up your ankles and you really wanted coffee.

"Eddie!" you called. You saw him freeze and perk up to look at you, like a startled meerkat, big brown eyes locked right onto you and awaited what you were going to say next.

"Coffee!" you beckoned him with your whole upper body, unwilling to take your hands from your pockets, and Eddie came running immediately, under loud protest of Dustin and Mike. Because Dustin didn't want coffee. And Mike was so annoyed that Eddie hadn't listened to him when he called them over earlier.

You started walking and your numb feet felt weird in your shoes, but the movement in your legs was very welcoming. You fell into step with Mike and let Eddie and Dustin catch up with you. When Eddie got close, all wet hair and wild eyes, he latched onto your back and let out a shaking breath as he shivered up against you. He tried to sneak his hands into your pockets alongside yours, shoving them in, bunching up the sleeves of his coat as he did, and finding warmth there. He squeezed your hands through your gloves, and then you walked together like that, like that didn't make you love Eddie more than you already did.

"You can hold Mike," Eddie smiled when you felt Dustin's peering eyes burning holes into the two of you, and a short silence followed before Mike took off running. "Come here, Mike! Cuddle me!" Dustin shouted, as he chased after him and Eddie took the moment to sneak a kiss onto your temple as you laughed and let it fill your chest with pure love for him. Eddie was here.

That evening, you met Steve outside Wayne's trailer before all three of you headed in and enjoyed Wayne's cooking together. The trailer hadn't changed much – some obvious things were different, of course. There was no more fold-up bed in the corner of the living room. It wasn't as messy without all Eddie's things slung about. And it also wasn't as smelly inside – Eddie was never allowed to smoke indoors, but Wayne made long hours, and rules never really stopped Eddie. It was good that the trailer felt different, you thought. It made it feel less like you were a teenager still. Less like you'd traveled back in time.

You sat together, and ate Wayne's homemade meatloaf. "It's the only thing I can make that's decent enough," Wayne undersold his signature dish, like he always did. "Please tell me you have more that I can take with me," Eddie said through a mouthful, and with every bite he took, you thought Eddie looked better. Healthier, with more colour to his cheeks and more life in his eyes.

You ate until you couldn't anymore, you reminisced and you laughed. You didn't think you'd ever seen Wayne laugh the way he did when he told the story of how he once caught Steve sneaking out, trying to climb out of a window unsuccessfully, high as a kite, whilst the door right next to the window was wide open. Wayne laughed so hard, it squeezed tears from his eyes and he could barely make it through the story.

You saw Eddie lean back in his chair, his grin wide, love swelling his chest and flaring his ribcage as he looked at his uncle. He almost looked drunk with love and admiration, and for a second you thought Eddie had just invited you over for dinner at Wayne's because he knew that Wayne loved traveling back in time just as much as he did.

You all helped clean up before Wayne had to leave for his shift at work, and just before he walked out the door, Wayne spoke to you like you were all 16 and about to stay the night over at Eddie's.

"You let your parents know you're here?"

You and Steve looked at each other with stupid smiles, and then both nodded. "Yes, Mr Munson."

"There's pop in the fridge, and there's microwave popcorn, but don't let Eddie touch it, or he'll burn the place down."

There was still a black scorch mark in the kitchen from when Eddie had literally nearly burned the place down. All of your eyes found it, and you saw Eddie grin with a little guilt hidden underneath. It was nice to be at an age where you could joke about things Wayne had been so angry about at the time that they had happened, you could feel it bubble in your stomach and saw Steve almost burst from the strain of barely withheld laughter.

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do," these were words meant just for you, because Wayne knew they were rendered useless on Eddie and on Steve.

"And boys, look after her." and those were words meant just for Steve and for Eddie, because Wayne knew your parents and he always worried what they thought of you being over in his trailer without adult supervision.

"We will." Steve and Eddie spoke in unison, their tones entirely different from each other. Wayne smiled the smallest of smiles, having greatly enjoyed stepping back into the little routine, and left the three of you alone.

"Movie?" Steve then asked. "For old time's sake?"

And it was so stupid. Because sat on the couch together, it felt like nothing had changed in over ten years. You stared at Wayne's little old shitty TV that he still had, "Still works fine, don't need to replace things that aren't broken," and you picked a movie from a stack of tapes that still held exactly the same titles it did ten years ago. No new additions, everything the same, just labels more faded. You'd sat down in a corner of the couch and pulled your legs up, only for Eddie and Steve to immediately protest.

"I'm not middle-seating it,"

"Move,"

And so you were pulled and pushed into the center of the couch, one boy either side of you, and you sat through a full movie, not paying attention to a single thing that happened in it. Because you were sat next to Eddie, and it was freezing outside, but Eddie was warm - he was all you could feel and all you could think about. And at one point, Eddie's hand that was resting over the back of the couch fell onto your shoulder. And when Steve wasn't looking, Eddie used it to pull you into him and you snuggled up. But then when Steve did look, he didn't even seem fazed. Didn't even mention it. Because this was what it had always been like, and Steve loved his friends all the same, whether they were touching each other, or not.

That's when you felt her take over; your teenage self. You were her, all open, unrestrained and naive in all the best ways. You sighed and sunk into yourself, because you'd missed her. And you knew that she would fight adult-you if you were to deny a kiss from Eddie. Because that was how these nights always ended, didn't they?

Except this night, it didn't, because you weren't actually your teenage self with endless pits of energy within you, and you'd had a long day. It didn't help that whatever you were watching didn't interest you at all, and Eddie's breathing was rhythmic and deep. The last thing you remembered was Eddie and Steve make soft conversation over you as you'd let your eyes close. They said things about the movie. There was small talk about Wayne. You tried to stay awake, hoped that maybe you'd catch them exchange words about you, but you drifted off faster than you could grasp in the moment.

You stirred awake when you felt someone pull you upright by your arms and then guided them to sling over their shoulders. Then there were arms that wrapped around your waist, and a soft restricted groan close to your ear as you got hoisted up off of the couch.

"Mmhm?" So tired.

"Come on, we're getting you into the car," Eddie whispered, and you heard Steve huff a tiny laugh through his nose.

You moved your legs to walk, because you absolutely could walk, but strong hands underneath your thighs held you up and in place. A coat got draped around you, over you, covering you as best it could.

"Tie my scarf," Eddie softly instructed Steve. "So it won't fall," and you felt how something tied around the back of your neck that pulled with Eddie's movement, and you imagined the woven wool tied the two of you together. When Steve opened the door, a cold gust of wind ruined every little bit comfortability and you tightened your koala-grip around Eddie.

"Steve started the car 5 minutes ago, it'll only be cold for a second."

The next morning you woke up on your couch with your face pressed into Eddie’s back. Your made-up couch, where Eddie had placed you down onto the cool sheets after insisting that he also carried you into your apartment when Steve had driven you all back to your building. You’d accepted every touch and every hold with your eyes closed and your limbs slack. Steve had whispered good night when you got out of the elevator at your floor, and Eddie had suggested you could have breakfast together the next day.

“Why are we on the couch?” your voice, thick with sleep, spoke into the dark morning.

You obviously remembered going to sleep on the couch, but only just now wondered why exactly Eddie hadn't taken you into the bedroom, where you'd probably both be much more comfortable, would have a lot more space.

“Couldn’t let it go to waste,” Eddie’s voice was gravelly, like he’d been screaming into a microphone on a stage all night, or like he had a really bad cold. "You made it look very nice."

You pressed your lips against Eddie’s shoulder blade over his T-shirt. It wasn't a kiss per se, but a nice place to just rest your mouth for a little bit. You inhaled Eddie, his scent unmistakably him and you felt him snuggle backwards a little into you more. Confusion struck. You knew this fabric. You smelled your own laundry detergent in the mix of all things Eddie and leant back to get a better look at what he was wearing.

“Are you… are you wearing your old hellfire club T-shirt?”

“Mmh, found it in your pajama drawer,”

Eddie had caught a glimpse his old T-shirt and hadn’t hesitated to put it on, dressing himself in nostalgia, knowing it would fill his cup all the way up to the brim. How could it not? He had just watched a film in the trailer with you and Steve. He had spent the day fucking around with Dustin and Mike. And now, wearing his old T-shirt to bed? This is exactly the type of shit he went to Hawkins for. The type of shit he needed. That grounded him. It pulled him off his pedestal and forced him into his authentic self.

After pulling the T-shirt over his head, he had slid onto the couch next to you, and made sure he positioned himself lower than you, pressing his head underneath your chin. Let you hold him. Made him feel smaller. Younger. Like his old, teenage self.

"Is today your last day?" you loved Eddie in his hellfire club T-shirt. It transformed him more into the Eddie that you knew, inside and out.

"Alive? I hope not," Eddie was quick witted, but you didn't appreciate the joke and stayed silent. Eddie picked up on it immediately.

"They're picking me up tomorrow, yea,"

Eddie said it too neutrally. No emotion or feeling behind his words. You wondered which end of the scale he was on; was he ready to get out of here, or did he maybe wish he could have a little more time? It was probably the former, you thought, and you let it hurt your chest, regretting even thinking about it in the first place. You tightened your hold on Eddie. Pressed your cheek into his back more. You needed to burrow; disappear into everything that was overwhelmingly Eddie for as long as he would let you.

"Do you want to get up?" Eddie asked after a while, his voice suddenly normal, no trace of sleep left at all.

"No," you muffled into his T-shirt, and you felt his body shake with silent laughter.

"Come here,"

You were already there, you thought, but Eddie started shifting to turn around and maneuvered you underneath the covers until you were practically on top of him. He hugged you tightly to his body and you laid like that for a while. Eddie would sometimes kiss your head, swirl his nose into your hair and you could feel how your breathing started syncing up. Like you locked together, somehow. They were blissful moments of nothingness, just the two of you, and you wished they could last forever. You tilted your head and looked up, and without permission or the right, Eddie stole the chance to press kisses to your cheek, creeping closer to your mouth with every single one he planted onto you. You felt yourself at the far end of a bridge, and with every millimeter Eddie got closer to your mouth, you could envision him take big steps across it. You held the power to halt him, make him stop somewhere midway, but he was running, and you really wanted him to crash into you.

Eddie kissed you. It was slow and lazy. It felt dangerously familiar in all the right ways and all the wrong ways at once. Morning kisses turned into morning making out and you felt flutters all throughout your lower stomach that you tried very hard to ignore. Until you couldn't anymore, and you caught yourself, smiled into your kiss and forced it to break.

"Eddie, I don't think..." you started, but breathed as you looked at his mouth. Words faltered you entirely, because Eddie's mouth was there, and it wanted to kiss you, and God, wasn't that exactly what you yearned for?

"I know," Eddie knew exactly what you meant, not needing to hear the words to understand them. "I know."

When you heard a key turn in your front door, Eddie and you were still wrapped up in sheets together. "Steve." Eddie warned, and you knew he was right, immediately shooting up from the couch and scurrying into the kitchen. You pretended you were making coffee when Steve stepped into your living room. Steve was dressed, but the bedhead on him revealed he'd not been awake long at all.

"Breakfast?"

You made toast, and you scrambled some eggs – even parted some oranges for Eddie and Steve. Breakfast was enjoyed mostly in silence, and it was comfortable, just the three of you chewing, sipping, occasionally yawning and stretching. You all shared tired eyes and eventually talked about your plans for the day. Steve said Robin had time to hang out, and Eddie said he wanted to be outside. Go for a walk. See Hawkins in the snow some more, because it looked so nice, all dirt and grime covered up by thick blankets of shimmering white.

When Eddie went to the toilet, Steve eyed you for a second and then sighed loudly. He was annoyed with a capital A and his frown translated it loud and clear.

"It's worse this time, isn't it?" he scoffed, having observed you long enough to know he was right. "Why did you let it get worse?"

You were quick to shoot him down, not wanting to get into it right now. If you did, you'd argue, because it felt unfair for Steve to keep shifting all blame onto you when it was never just you, was it?

"Stop. Everything's fine," you actively gaslit him, and you were very aware of it too.

"Your bed looks extremely untouched in there, you're not fooling anyone," Steve pointed in the direction of your bedroom, having seen your pristine made up bed from the hallway when he'd walked in. Steve could deal with the two of you sharing a bed, but the couch felt different. The thought of you sharing a big bed left Steve the chance to at least pretend you both kept to your own sides of it with your backs towards each other. Finding Eddie untangling himself from the sheets on the couch, and your pajamas all twisted up around your body made him put two and two together. It's wasn't a hard puzzle to solve.

"We'll talk about it tomorrow," you got up and started clearing the table, desperate for this chat with Steve to end.

"Yes, we will, when I come over to peel you from your bathroom tiles, crying shell of a person," Steve seemed angry with you, spat his words with venom. You understood it was just worries from a friend, but all you wanted to do was get angry in return, even if it made no sense.

"Steve, I-" you hissed, but stopped yourself when you heard your toilet flush. It was just glares from the both of you then, eyes shooting daggers, calling each other names that couldn't reach Eddie's ears.

That afternoon, Robin had picked the three of you up and parked somewhere close to Lovers Lake. It had completely frozen over. You were about to say you should've all brought ice skates, but Robin was already on the ice. She took slow steady steps, unsure, and a little shaky. Steve followed, a lot more confident, and when the ice didn't crack when he jumped to demonstrate how thick it was, you and Eddie stepped on too. You held onto Eddie on the slippery ice and slid quite far out together, following Steve and Robin who figured out they could run without slipping or falling. They were laughing, chasing each other, and spinning in circles around you. Robin slid over and almost bumped into you, "I've not figured out how to stop yet," and took hold of both of your hands before she started running backwards, speeding up as she dragged you along. The thrill had you shrieking, and it was fun, even though there wasn't a single second you didn't think you were going to fall and hurt yourself.

When Robin slowed down a little, it gave you a chance to look over your shoulder, and you could see Steve and Eddie talk. You were too far away to hear them, too far away to even read their faces properly, but Steve seemed sad as he spoke, and Eddie seemed annoyed as he listened.

You asked Robin if she knew what they were talking about, and she giggled, "Probably confessing their undying love for each other," making you laugh. When the four of you joined each other again with flushed faces and cold fingers, you started on your way back to get off the ice, and Eddie seemed more distant.

Eddie didn't grab a hold of you the way you would've wanted him to. Eddie didn't reach for your hand to hold, even though his legs still seemed just as unsteady and wobbly. Eddie didn't wrap an arm around your shoulders as you walked back through the woods to where Robin had parked her car. And Eddie didn't want to sit in the backseat with you, calling shotgun and running the last few steps to the car to ensure his place in the front.

There was only one thing you could conclude; Steve had tried to be a good friend to you, had tried to let Eddie know to back off a bit, maybe. And you loved your good friend Steve, but could strangle him in the moment. All you had were glares for him from your spot in the car behind Eddie, which Steve pretended he didn't see, and Robin caught in the rearview mirror.

That evening, around 8pm, you all stepped into The Hideout, and you were a little shocked at the welcome you got. The welcome Eddie got. There were maybe 15 people, and the place had seemed quiet, people minding their own business, but when eyes landed on Eddie, everyone seemed up on their feet and he was hauled in like the super star he was.

Eddie was given drinks by strangers, talked to by everyone, all at once, and asked by the young band playing that night to sign their instruments. Random men patted him on the back, acted like they were long lost friends, and talked to him like they knew Eddie - talked to him like Eddie knew them.

It was overwhelming to witness, let alone be the guy who has to take it all in, and you sighed a breath of relief when you saw Steve had been able to grab a little table a bit further into the back for the four of you. Away from the bright lights that surrounded the bar. Away from the band who had already pulled Eddie up on stage and had pressed a guitar into his hands, "One song, Eddie! Come on!" and who was he to deny these young boys a little bit of fun?

When he stepped off stage after playing three, four, maybe even five songs, you touched Eddie's arm and pointed out where you were sat. Eddie just handed you the two drinks he'd already been handed by strangers and told you he'd be there in a second. Eddie took his time talking to anyone that wanted to talk to him. This was rockstar Eddie. Famous Eddie Munson. Eddie who lived somewhere high up on a pedestal. You admired him, because he was everything Eddie would've looked up to when he was younger, and now he had made it.

You admired him, were so proud of him, but you weren't sure if you necessarily liked him.

When Eddie eventually joined you, the four of you chatted, laughed, flipped coasters off the edge of the table and tried to catch them after just one rotation. Robin could stack several up and flip them all together, catching them all in one swift move, and you all tried to see if you could too, but made coasters fly instead. Eddie dared Steve to get on stage, sit behind the drumkit, give a dumb ba-dum-tss as if someone had just told him a bad joke. Steve called bluff on Robin when she said she was going to order a shot and try to get a girl's phone number. You went and got more drinks for all of you, and the bartender gave them to you for free, waved at Eddie in the back and made you wish you'd ordered more expensive drinks instead of just four beers.

The night was all giggles and pure joy, and you loved every second the four of you spent together so much, it made you forget that Eddie was leaving the next day. Eddie was there now, and that was all you really had, and all that really mattered.

Steve ended up being the first to leave and Robin dipped out not much later. It was only just past 11 when Eddie asked the owner to call a taxi for the two of you, and you finished your drinks in silence, Eddie's hand on your thigh, smiling stupid smirks and catching stolen glances. You knew where the night was headed, and you gladly let Eddie lead the way.

You made your way into your apartment by the sheer sense of intuition alone. You hadn't broken from one another since stepping into the elevator, and letting yourself into your apartment was a messy, fumbling, frustrating task, because Eddie wouldn't stop kissing you, and you liked how he pushed you up against the door too much.

Getting to your bed eventually, you let Eddie push you back onto your mattress. A knee pressed into the springs in between your legs and he hovered over you with his hair cascading down, giving you tunnel vision. All you could see, feel, smell, hear and taste was Eddie.

"Let's get you what you need,"

You moaned as you let him, taking all of what he was willing to give you in the moment. Eddie was all soft, caressing fingers with a caring mind that searched for a condom before getting himself anywhere near you. All attentive eyes and thoughtful lips. Until he wasn't. Until he grew rough. You could feel him slowly shift into the guy who you'd seen hold a guitar that night. The man he turned into when he stepped on stage. All confidence, all ego. You knew he wasn't just giving you what he thought you needed. Eddie was taking from you what he wanted and asked no permission, because he knew he already had it.

Eddie went for a shower after, and you hadn't hesitated to join him, unwilling to leave his side during these last few moments that you had with him. Eddie let you wash his hair, let himself melt under your massaging touch and the hot stream of water. He let you charge the last little bit of his inner battery, unaware he was draining yours simultaneously. You asked if you could braid his hair after combing it with him sat on the floor, one of your knees on either side of his shoulders, and he had just hummed, drowning in the bliss of having someone touch him like this. You french braided his hair out of his face and made sure his curl pattern would look nice when he'd undo them. Eddie curled his arms around your legs, and you knew it was the last bit of past Eddie you were going to get from him. Come tomorrow morning, he'd see one of his band members and he'd take the foot he still kept in the past and would scrape it along gravel towards his future. You had only now.

And now... here you were.

It was just past two in the morning, and Eddie was asleep in your bed whilst you were staring at him with tears escaping your eyes, willing time to slow down until it stopped entirely. You honestly really didn't mean to wake up him. You didn't. But you couldn't help the small sob that escaped you, even though you really tried, and you held your breath right after in hopes of the silence compensating it enough.

But Eddie had heard you. Caught you, eyes blinking open and meeting the worst version of you. It was the wrong time and the wrong place to meet this version of you, and you mentally kicked yourself for it. Thick, salty tears had left your face wet, and when Eddie cupped your cheek with his hand, he felt what he hadn’t already been able to see in the dark.

The adult in you didn’t want to argue, didn’t want to wake Eddie up any more than you had already done. The adult in you wanted Eddie to live his life for himself, the way he had been doing for the past however many years, chasing dreams he had never been able to shut up about when you were younger. The adult in you wanted success for Eddie in every single form he would accept it.

But your teenage self kicked your adult self in the shins and shouted, "Fuck what you want, what about what I want?". You wanted to argue. To talk, at least. Be selfish in the moment and let go of what you held trapped in your heart, even if you knew Eddie wouldn’t know what to do with it – wouldn’t even really like it.

"Stay."

Eddie didn’t hesitate, not even in this state of being half-asleep half-awake, and said, "I can’t stay."

"Please, stay. Stay for Christmas." You sniffed loudly, almost doing it on purpose to manipulate him into feeling sad for you. To show you some empathy and to indulge you in your need for him.

"You know, I can’t stay, baby." Eddie made it sound softer that time, added a pet name, and hummed right after.

You knew he meant he didn’t want to stay. Hawkins wasn’t Eddie’s present, or future for that matter. It was Eddie’s past; the past where he would step one foot back into every couple of months. The past he had to revisit in order to keep his future bright as he would stare at it up ahead. The second the mental image of his future started dulling, Eddie dove head first into his past, into you, until the sun would come back out. Then, he’d be off again.

"That’s okay, I don’t want you to."

You sent mixed signals, but you meant them. Both were true. If Eddie didn't want to stay, you didn't want to keep him there. Eddie frowned with a type of confidence you didn’t appreciate.

"Lies."

"I want you to stay if it’s not going to hold you back. I want you to stay because you want to stay. Maybe… maybe we shouldn’t..." You paused and tried to let your mind find the right words.

"Anymore." You added.

"This." You finished.

Eddie let the silence linger for longer than you liked, and the confidence you had seen in Eddie's expression faltered slightly. Just a little. Just enough for you to have seen it in the dark.

"You know I love you right?" Eddie tried saving it, but you didn't know if Eddie even knew what he was trying to save exactly.

"That doesn’t change anything. Love doesn’t make you stay for Christmas."

"I’ll stay for Christmas." Eddie moved in closer to you, pulled you into him to cuddle, to hold you as you cried. He wanted to give you this fantasy for a moment if it would get you through the night in one piece.

"You can’t." you protested, already ripping at the seams.

"I can’t." Eddie sighed.

Overnight, Eddie had changed from the guy who held you as you cried, to the guy who left your apartment with all of his things without waking you up to say goodbye.

Eddie had been there, jammed up high, all the way up in all of your senses until, very abruptly, he wasn't anymore.

Eddie was gone, and he had taken your teenage self with him, leaving you hollow, empty, barren, bleak, and lifeless.

Eddie was gone, and you let your hands reach for him across your mattress, feeling sharp pains in your chest when you didn't feel him there, your apartment was quiet.

Eddie was gone, and he had taken every trace of himself, like he had never even been there to begin with. Except for one thing. You knew it would be there. He always left one, and why would this time be different? You reached up for it without even opening your eyes, letting your fingers find it on the pillow where he'd rested his head before he'd walked out on you.

A little note.

A small message to leave you with. A message that was meant to hold you over until you'd see him again. But would you? See him again?

You cracked open eyes that were already wet and let them adjust, blink into focus, to read what words Eddie felt would excuse his absence.

"Merry Christmas x"

Eddie was gone. And so were you. Read the sequel: Over Now

-----

The Taglisted:

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#secret santa project #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fic #rockstar!eddie #rockstar!eddie munson #eddie munson angst #eddie munson fluff #eddie imagine #fanfiction

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ternych · 10 months ago

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Absolute chaos

Just imagine what playlist they're going for

Hippie and three musicians. Gold set

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andr0genassault · 1 month ago

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I just felt like drawing him drawing Leo with his (implied) scars 👍

Partial nudity under the cut

#Sometimes I wonder what they were cooking when they implied Leo was the test subject for that one. eh. project #Idk how canon compliant this is neither do I give a shit #my art #manhunt rockstar #manhunt 2 #leo kasper #cw scars #cw partial nudity

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ashwhowrites · 7 months ago

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Continuing with the Guts project! I wanted to inform everyone that this project is not connected. Simply writing fics based on the songs, they do not overlap or tell a story together. I hope you enjoy this back-and-forth love/hate relationship. More Guts to come...

I met a guy in the summer and I left him in the spring He argued with me about everything He had an ego and a temper and a wandering eye He said he's six-foot-two, and I'm like, "Dude, nice try" But he was so much fun and he had such weird friends And he would take us out to parties and the night would never end Another song, another club, another bar, another dance And when he said something wrong, he'd just fly me to France So I miss him some nights when I'm feeling depressed 'Til I remember every time he made a pass on my friend Do I love him? Do I hate him? I guess it's up and down

Y/N knew throughout all the time she and Eddie were together, there was no way it would last in the long run. He was a rockstar and lived in the spotlight. They hooked up after a show and before she knew it, it was happening again and again.

Somehow an actual relationship sparked and she was thrown into the life of dating someone famous. It was a wild rollercoaster that never seemed to end.

The late shows, and speeding through city after city. But the more she was around Eddie and his rockstar life, the more she realized she couldn't stand the guy.

Eddie had this massive ego because of the amount of money in his wallet. With his ego, he tends to believe he is right about everything. Argument after argument he declared his way was never wrong. He didn't kiss the girl, she fell into him. He didn't stare at the waitress, she had a spill on her low-cut shirt. Y/N could never win.

But there were positives to dating Eddie. The party life that she grew to enjoy. The loud music and busy bars. She met tons of other celebrities and became friends with a few. Eddie knew how to be the life of the party, and Y/N loved tagging along. They never saw the same bar twice, each day was a new bar or a new club.

And when Eddie truly fucked up, he knew exactly how to sweet talk himself back in the right. The gifts, the jewelry, and the trips. She got blinded by the lengths he'd go to make it right to realize he did everything but apologize. But hey, she made it to France.

Now that she finally pulled the plug, she couldn't tell if it was the right or wrong thing to do. Because some nights when she sat alone in her big bed and scrolled through the TV, she missed him. She missed being out and dancing the night away in his arms. But then she thinks about all the times he's made a pass at her friends and can't help but punch the spot he used to lay. He tugged her heart in so many directions and she didn't know which path to follow.

She couldn't tell if she loved or hated him anymore.

I wanna get him back I wanna make him really jealous, wanna make him feel bad Oh, I wanna get him back 'Cause then again, I really miss him, and it makes me real sad Oh, I want sweet revenge And I want him again I want to get him back, back, back

As the word spread that Eddie and Y/N were done, she had hundreds of messages. Some were friends asking how she was, and the others wanted to know when she was free to hook up.

And honestly? Right now she wanted to get Eddie back. She wanted to make him so jealous that he'd hate himself for the breakup. She wore her tightest and shortest dress, and used her best makeup products and her best heels. Then she went out the door to make Eddie's life hell.

She lost count of how many boys she kissed as the alcohol pumped through her body. Cameras flashed everywhere and she knew Eddie couldn't escape this. And she was right.

Barely took a full day before Eddie was pounding at her door.

"Can I help you?" She asked, a sick smirk on her face.

Eddie had her slammed against the door before she could blink. His hot hands burned her skin as he went up and down her body. Her small sleep shorts were at her ankles and his jeans were tugged down.

"Think you look hot whoring around town? Putting on a little show?" Eddie growled, his body banging hers into the door as he fucked himself inside of her.

She clawed at his back and moved her hips.

"If I wasn't so hot, you wouldn't be here right now." She added fuel to the fire. His fingertips bruised her skin and his teeth sunk into her neck. The way he fucked her like an animal was well worth the revenge.

"So you like being a little slut hm? Well, not anymore. No more letting guys taste what's mine."

His tongue fought against hers as she let him have her. And she let him have her for hours and hours. Until they landed in her bed, covered in sweat and panting.

She moved her tired body into his arms, her head on his damp chest, and traced his tattoos.

"I get sad when I miss you." She admitted into his skin. His fingers ran through her sweaty hair.

"I miss you too, I'm here now." He said sweetly as he cupped her jaw and kissed her slowly.

So I write him all these letters and I throw them in the trash 'Cause I miss the way he kisses and the way he made me laugh Yeah, I pour my little heart out, but as I'm hitting "Send" I picture all the faces of my disappointed friends Because everyone knew all of the shit that he'd do He said I was the only girl but that just wasn't the truth And when I told him how he hurt me, he'd tell me I was trippin'

Before she knew it she was back under his spell. She tore her hair out as he didn't answer her calls. She knew this would happen. She'd crawl back to him and he'd disappear and make her crawl back again.

And there she was again, she lost count of how many times she sat typing the same message over and over. Claiming to be done, claiming to be worth so much more, and claiming to never see him again. But she never brought herself to send it because she didn't want to. She didn't want the reality of closing him off for good. She loved the way he kissed her and how hard he made her laugh. She loved it when he cared and put effort into her. If she gave up because of the bad, she lost the good.

So she did the opposite. She texted him and begged him to come back. She poured out her heart about the love she had for him and the happy ending she desperately clung on to.

But then she pictured all her friends and how disappointed they'd be that she was here again.

"I swear this is the last time I'll text him!" Y/N defended, she sat on her best friends bed. Her friend looked at her with a sad look.

"It's never the last time." A disapproving tone in her voice as she shut Y/N's phone off.

Her friends never liked Eddie and for valid reasons. The amount of times he cheated on Y/N was impossible to remember. She spent many nights crying in her friend's arms and drinking her relationship away. But when he'd tell her that she was truly the only girl he wanted and that he always found himself coming right back to her, it sucked her right back in. She felt wanted and needed. How could she leave that?

Oh, I wanna key his car (I want to get him back)

Another fight ended in another round of tears. Y/N wasn't sure how many times Eddie could break her heart. A new magazine with a new girl on Eddie's arm. A smug look on his face, with lipstick on his neck. Y/N was done with her name being dragged in the mud.

With a few liquid shots of courage, Y/N sped over to Eddie's big house with his stupid expensive cars. She pounded in the gate code and then grabbed her car keys as it opened. She didn't care about the paparazzi or his security cameras. She wanted to get him back.

Y/N felt a rush of adrenaline running through her as she dragged her sharp key against the red paint on Eddie's car. The sound was unforgiving but she kept going. She keyed and keyed his car. She keyed until she felt satisfied with the damage she had done.

She keyed her initials on the hood.

"ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY?" Eddie yelled, a towel around his waist as he raced out of his car. Y/N could tell he was in the shower. His hair was wet and droplets dripped down his chest. But all she could think about was the skank he left with.

"YOU FUCKED ME UP! YOU MADE ME CRAZY. YOU CHEATING NO GOOD SCUMBAG!"

Luckily for her Eddie didn't press charges. Sadly, he was rich and got his car fixed by the morning. But she still felt good seeing it all across the front page.

I wanna break his heart (but then I, I want to get him back) Stitch it right back up

Y/N wanted to drag Eddie back in so she could be the one to tear his heart apart. She wanted to break down his confidence until he was a shell of a man.

But then seeing him with puppy eyes and a pout broke her. All she wanted to do was wrap her arms around him and put him back together again. She loved that she was the only one who knew how to fix him, it was her only advantage.

I wanna kiss his face (I want to get him back) With an uppercut

It's been weeks since Y/N has seen Eddie and the distance was killing her. She knew it was best to stay broken up, but every time she thought of him she wanted to kiss his skin. She wanted to be cuddled in his arms and feel his love moving inside of her.

But then she sees him with a new girl every week. The breakup did not fazing him as he lived his life the same way he always did. Nothing changed for him and she hated it.

She wanted to uppercut his jaw, bruise his eye, and bust his lip open.

I'll get him, I'll get him, I'll get him, I'll get him back Get him back, come on, come on I'm gonna get him so good, he won't even know what hit him He's gonna love me and hate me at the same time Get him back, girl, you better get him back I don't know I got him good, I got him really good

It took months, but Y/N figured out the best way to get back at Eddie, moving on.

Y/N finally healed herself from the attacks by Eddie and found someone new. A boy who truly cared and didn't spend all his time hurting her. He loved her, treasured her, and loved to show her off. He was in the public eye, but she didn't mind. For once she was being seen as someone loveable.

Eddie had a lot to say about their breakup to the press. Her moving on hit him hard and that was exactly what she wanted. He was so torn up about it that he hasn't been seen with anyone since.

He chased and chased but she never turned back around.

Finally, Eddie was in the past and that was where he would stay.

@bmunson86 @mxcheese @ladymunson @michaelfuckinglangdon @z0mbie-blah @biittersweet @mirrorsstuff @somethingvicked @micheledawn1975 @ago-godance @magnificantmermaid @tlclick73 @hargrovesswifee @cityofidek @silky-luxe @lokiofasgard616 @loving-and-dreaming @eddiemunsonsbitch69 @thegemaqua @ashlynnkennedy @strangerthingsstories5255 @harringt8ns @pleasinghellfire @whoscamila @stusdollface93 @gretavankleep37 @bellaisswagger @arlxt

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson #eddie munson fanfic #eddie stranger things #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson fluff x reader #eddie munson angst #eddie munson angst x reader #eddie munson fluff #rockstar eddie munson angst #rockstar eddie x reader #rockstar! eddie x reader #rockstar!eddie munson #guts project #ashwhowrites

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redninjaoutfit · 2 months ago

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i want to understand: why ship tad and peanut?

I've been gathering my thoughts on this topic for such a long time because I have so so many but its so hard to articulate them sometimes. THEY ARE SO NEAR AND DEAR TO MY HEART YOUR HONOUR MY ANGSTY SONS

More under the cut cause it's gonna be a whole lot of words

For starters, I just enjoy the enemies to lovers trope in general. I think seeing someone else's flaws to the point of considering them annemesis and still managing to move past that and fall in love with them down the line is very poetic. Having to battle through hate, one of the most misguided and complex emotion one can feel towards other people and coming out victorious, conquering the concept you have of someone and replacing it with an image so dissimilar to how you perceived them before... I get a lil kick out of it. It takes incredible maturity and willingness to cooperate on both sides of the relationship to move past hard feelings, to find common ground and build something substantial and amiable on that very ground. The former enemies actively heal and grow as people alongside one another, it's a very beautiful concept.

HATE AND LOVE ARE NOT TWO SIDES OF A SPECTRUM!! They're standing next to each other, separated only by a thin sheet of paper which is so easy to rip through once you move past the issues which divide you.

For Tad and Peanut, the obvious and unavoidable source of conflict is their allegiance to their respective cliques. The Preps and Greasers are supposed to despise one another out of principle which they very much do. Consequently, as of the events of the game, neither have any possibility to openly display their many compatible characteristics around one another. Hence why the animosity festers.

When I talk about the many compatible characteristics of Tad and Peanut I mean MANY. SO MANY. You might notice I did not say similar as I don't find they are carbon copies of one another, their lives are very different, however, their very cores slot with each other perfectly. It all falls into place.

Peanut, as I'm sure everyone already knows, has a painfully and one-sidedly dependent relationship with Johnny who is assumed to have saved him in some way, judging by the contents of his character quotes. He's fiercely loyal to his leader to the point where it's overwhelming and he actively fears disappointing Johnny in any capacity (not aided by the fact that he's implied to have feelings for Lola). Not to mention, as a second in command, he's got big shoes to fill, shoes he doesn't deem himself good enough to fill. Though he seems content with being trapped in Johnny's shadow he does show a sense of longing for freedom and a deep self-consciousness about his abilities.

Tad on the other hand is not second in command, quite the opposite, he's at a disadvantageous position in his clique with his newcomer status. Yet the expectations he has to meet at the forceful request of his father are just as if not more ambitious than Peanut's. With how prominently Mr Spencer's abuse towards his son altered his character and mindset, Tad is thus trapped in the role of the usurper, exactly what he feels (and knows) his clique-mates see him as. His opinion of the topic is largely apathetic though the apathy seems forced and learned.

His destiny as his father's extension has been set in stone, as has Peanut's servitude to Johnny. Neither feel they can do anything about it.

Both deem themselves worthless and void of purpose when they are not of use, not going along with whatever demands have been put onto them. They convince themselves (Peanut moreso than Tad) that their prison is a comfortable one, that the end goal of their struggle will be satisfactory yet know deep down all they want is freedom.

In this way they are very compatible, enough that they see a bit of themselves in the other which is part of the reason their bad blood runs so deep, especially on Tad's part. They see the collars hanging heavy around their necks and tug on them in hopes the other won't notice the perpetrator's own. It's easier to depersonalize yourself from your own issues than to face them head on.

I can definitely see them snapping on one eventful occasion - a supernova of unspoken emotions ready to surface - their reconciliation would not be a serene, drawn out ordeal of slow acquiescence. They fire each other up to the point of accidentally creating a spark which leads to a flame. A common flame between them in whose glow and light they can finally see each other's true colours, which will not burn them like it usually does but rather provide warmth, much needed after the long years spent in their cold, oppressive jail cells.

They would be like two dogs chained to a tree and left for dead tasting food again and rediscovering the comfort of a plush pillow - striving to maintain the warmth of mutual understanding conceived on that very day and would no doubt cultivate it to the best of their inexperienced ability. They both know by then the other is a novice in terms of... well, everything when it comes to being appreciated.

They rediscover love together and that's why I think they are so very beautiful and compatible as a pair!!

THAT'S IT... UM SORRY FOR RAMBLING AND THIS BEING MUSHY AS ALL HELL THEY JUST MAKE ME SOB AND WISH FOR THEM TO HAVE A BETTER LIFE. THE POTENTIAL IN THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS IMMENSE AND I WILL NOT BE SILENCED ABOUT IT. THEY CAN HEAL EACH OTHER LIKE NOONE ELSE CAN!!!

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toscrollperchancetomeme · 3 months ago

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youtube

So… I just had a vision. ;-;

Almost 20 years ago, we saw one of the most iconic uses of music ever in a tv show, when Bear McCreary created an epical version of "All along the watchtower" that played in the minds of the cylon sleeper agents to wake them up.

Can you imagine if they took inspiration from this for Akasha's awakening? Lestat playing his music at a concert, being live streamed across the world. The music slowly fading over into a more epical, orchestral version of itself. A crosscut between Lestat, Akasha and Marius while the music is swelling (and also to some characters in the audience/backstage - Louis, Armand, Daniel etc). The dawning look of horror in Marius' face. The earth-shattering feeling, that in this moment, the world is changing forever, mirrored by the beats of the music. Marius' signal of "Danger!" echoing in the minds of other vampires around the world.

#Daniel Hart and Rolin Jones I'm projecting this into your brains #iwtv #interview with the vampire #akasha #lestat #lestat de lioncourt #the vampire lestat #rockstar lestat #iwtv s3 #iwtv season 3 #the queen of the damned #queen of the damned #the vampire chronicles #vampire chronicles #marius de romanus #tvc #battlestar galactica #Youtube

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kitchen-spoon · 1 year ago

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Rockstar Eddie 90’s Drabble {steddie}

Steddie I 2.7k I 1/1

Sorry for any spelling mistakes etc..

Its 1992 and corroded coffin has made it big. Eddie and the band are famous now, selling out stadiums and living their dreams. He is one of the most talked about metal musicians of the era. And to make it even better Steve has been there for all of it since 1987 technically earlier but it took them awhile to get their shit together.

Being famous means getting to live with luxuries and Eddie loves spoiling Steve with them. Going to the spa was a big hit. Eddie was nervous at first but knowing Steve and his penchant for self care especially hair care he should have know it would soon become one of Steve’s favourite indulgences. Which is exactly why Eddie was suggesting it for their current situation.

As time went on all the upside down action began to catch up with everyone in the party but Steve especially. Chronic migraines, memory issues and random bouts of nausea just being the start of it. When they moved to California it was Gareth that brought up the idea of using marijuana medicinally, siting his uncle who had been using it for his arthritis for years.

Steve was hesitant at first, ever since star-court he had stayed away from anything stronger cigarettes but as time went on things were only going to get worse so he gave it a chance. As predicted it did not go well at first. Steve was already an anxious hyper vigilant person and the weed just heightened that, making him extra paranoid. But with work and a lot of patience from Eddie they found a way to make it work. They made a routine and stuck to it every-time which was why Steve was so thrown for a loop when Eddie suggested he take some edibles before they hit up a spa in the city.

“I know its scary baby but think of it as a trial run for Europe.” Eddie took Steve’s hands in his own, ducking his head down to catch his boyfriends eyes. “The tour starts in a month, and you know how flying affects your migraines, especially long flights.”

Steve bit his lip, “It does get really bad.” He sighed. “But I don’t know, I got so freaked out with just you and the guys around. I don’t think being in public is gonna go better than that.”

“Then I’ll rent out the spa.” Eddie said immediately like it was the easiest thing in the world and not a thousands of dollar decision. For Eddie though spoiling Steve was the easiest thing in the world money truly was no object and would never be enough to show his gratitude for how fiercely Steve stuck by his side during his and the band’s rocky climb to fame.

“Eddie no.” Steve shook his head, unable to hold back his smile.

Eddie couldn’t help but smile back “Fine what if we go somewhere more exclusive, less people.” He raised his eyebrows. “Less chance of being recognized too, everyone there will be so rich and up their own ass they won’t care about lil ‘ol me.”

“I’ll consider it. But we also need to outline a plan and have a quick evacuation set up.” Steve tried to sound stern but he knew he was already going to give in to his boyfriend’s plan.

“Consider it done Stevie.” Eddie squeezed Steve’s hands as he got up. “I’ll take good care of you baby don’t worry.” He leaned down and gave his boyfriend’s forehead a kiss before disappearing off into his office.

***

Eddie’s new plan consisted of them driving out 2 hours to Joshua Tree where he had an emergency hotel booked and one of their regular drivers on stand by incase they needed to make a hasty exit. He also got the edibles from their regular source and was sure to check the dosage 3 times over before letting Steve even look at them.

About 30 minutes away from the Spa Steve ate the gummy’s. That ensured he was still be sober during their check in which he insisted and gave him 30 minutes to acclimatize to the environment before they started to kick in.

Steve began to feel it as he and Eddie walked on the warm stone path outside the spa building, fluffy white robes on, pinkies linked. They were making their way to the heated pool to loosen up before their couples massage. Then they were getting facials and sitting in a mud bath then getting scalp treatments at Eddie’s request. The day’s itinerary was planned by Steve with special consideration of him being high. It also gave him reassurance that there was a structure he knew they’d be following. When Eddie first started getting money and in turn started spoiling Steve, Steve felt guilty. He always tried to hold back, having to be pushed by Eddie to actually get what he wanted, to ask for the cucumber in his water, to book the facials and the mud bath. Now though Steve knew Eddie enjoyed it as much as he did because he knew it made Steve happy. It also kept him looking young so he couldn’t complain too much.

“Baby.” Steve barley whispered, his palm sliding into Eddie’s so he could squeeze his boyfriend’s hand.

Eddie glanced over at him, a calm smile on his lips. “Its okay sweetheart I got you. Its still early only 2 other people are here and they are on the other side of the spa.” Eddie kept his hand in Steve’s guiding him over to the warm salt water pool.

Steve slowly waded into the water with the help of his boyfriend, settling against Eddies side in the far corner of the pool. He took a deep breath embracing the light headed floaty feeling washing over him.

“Feeling okay sweetheart?” Eddie’s voice made him jolt, momentarily forgetting where he was. Steve moved to sit up but Eddie settled a hand around his shoulder, his musician fingers sliding slowly over Steve’s bicep. “Sorry didn’t mean to scare you. You just look very content, its Sexy.” Eddie leaned in closer his lips brushing Steve’s ear.

Steve giggled, twisting his head away from Eddie to avoid the ticklish light touches. It made the water splash around them making Steve giggle more, he opened his eyes gasping and slapping a hand over his mouth. “Sorry” he whispered but Eddie was already shaking his head.

“Don’t be, nobody is around you’re all good.” Eddie smiled, brushing Steve’s hair back. “You’re enjoying yourself its what you’re supposed to do.”

“Okay,” Steve agreed easily with a nod. He leaned his face into Eddie’s hand and closed his eyes letting out a pleased hum when Eddie began scratching his nails over his scalp.

They stayed like that for another 15 minutes before making their way back inside the spa building for their massages. Eddie kept an arm wrapped around Steve the entire way, his fingers continuing to brush Steve’s shoulder when he felt his boyfriend get tense at the sight of other people.

“Hello, for Eddie and Steve?” A woman wearing what looked like scrubs asked them.

Steve stayed silent but gave her a nod trying his best to keep his face neutral. Most of his paranoia when high was with other people and having to interact with them. He was always afraid they could tell and were judging him. He always feared he was acting weirdly but couldn’t tell and nobody was saying anything and he unknowingly embarrassed himself or even Eddie. Because he was openly associated with Eddie his actions impacted his boyfriend’s reputation and he would never want to do anything to tarnish it.

“Okay Stevie c’mon time to relax.” Eddie’s voice made Steve blink, not even realizing he had zoned out. He looked around and both massage therapists were gone. “Lets get you undressed honey, that okay? Can I take this off?” Eddie’s fingers were wrapped around the belt of Steve’s robe but were still, waiting for his reply.

“Wha- yeah, yeah of course.” Steve said, his eyes focused back on Eddie’s face and he was met with a fond smile.

Eddie undid the belt of Steve’s robe then brought his hands up sliding them along Steve’s collarbones then over his shoulders, his arms catching on the robe and dragging it along as his hands continued to move across Steve’s body. Once the robe was off he hung it on the back of one of the chairs then made his way back to Steve.

“Arms up here big boy.” Eddie patted his own shoulders.

Steve giggled, his face turning pink as he followed Eddie’s instructions.

“These okay to come off too?” Eddie’s hands rested at Steve’s hips, fingers dipping just beneath the waistband of Steve’s swim shorts.

Steve bit his lip, his cheeks still burning, “mhmm” he nodded.

Eddie smirked back at him slowly dragging the shorts down until he was crouched. He tapped Steve’s ankles getting his boyfriend to step out of his swimsuit one foot at a time.

“Good job baby, now go lay down I’ll be right there.” Eddie took Steve by the shoulders and faced him towards the beds.

He folded Steve’s swim shorts up and placed them on the same chair as the robe. He then worked to undress himself, folding and hanging his own swim trunks and robe. He made his way over to the two beds smiling at Steve’s who was laying face down with his head turned to the side so he could watch Eddie.

“Want me to cover you?” Steve shifted up onto his elbows as Eddie got closer.

“I’m all good sweetheart don’t you worry.” Eddie gave Steve a quick peck then moved to cover his boyfriend up before worrying about himself.

A few minutes later there was a light knock on the door and the massage therapists were back. Soothing spa music began playing through the speakers, and oil was poured on their backs. Steve let Eddie’s pinky slip away from where it was wrapped around his own, turning his head into the rest and closing his eyes.

The massage felt amazing, it was like Steve could feel each individual line of his muscles being untangled and smoothed out. It created a low level hum throughout his entire body, like every single nerve ending was being stimulated all at once. He could hear groans come from Eddie every once and awhile and hoped he wasn’t being to loud either. Steve was glad Eddie was feeling good though, he knew his boyfriend’s back had been giving him issues lately.

Eventually the hands left his skin and he heard the door close once again. Steve kept his eyes closed for a little longer, breathing until the buzzing in his body calmed down enough that he felt he could stand up without bucking at the knee. He still moved a little too quickly though, feeling a little light headed as he sat up. Steve kept his eyes closed, focusing on the sounds of Eddie’s light snoring as he got his bearings. Once he was able to move again he made his way over to Eddie’s table, smoothing his hands through his boyfriend’s hair. Steve got a bit caught up in the motion, his heart jumping a little when Eddie snuffled awake, turning his head and kissing Steve’s palm.

“Morning sweetheart.” He reached a hand out, wrapping it around Steve’s bare waist and pulling him closer. “Ready for the rest of our pampering?”

“Yeah, c’mon”. Steve took the hand from his waist into his own, attempting to tug Eddie up. He ended up stumbling back into his own table, catching himself before falling on his bare ass.

“Alright stumerella, lets go.” Eddie chuckled as he pushed himself up off his bed.

Steve giggled at the nickname even though he didn’t quiet get it. He accepted Eddie’s help getting re-dressed, only smacking suggestive wandering hands away once. Maybe if he was sober he told Eddie who just wiggled his brows and moved on.

The kept their swimsuits on in the mud bath, laying side by side with their heads tilted back and hands intertwined beneath the mud as 2 aestheticians applied masks to their faces and cucumbers over their eyes.

“How you feeling baby?” Eddie asked once the women left the room. They’d be back in 20 minutes to wash the masks off and scrub them down on a wet table.

“Really good.” Steve sighed, his hand squeezing Eddie’s. “I think I could do this again…if you were with me.”

“Hmm sounds great to me, I don’t think I’ve ever been pampered this much.” Eddie tried to smile but his mask pulled and cracked.

“We’re gonna be glowing after all this, like…like glazed donuts or something.” Steve giggled.

“We’re gonna be krispy kreme level glazed…god I wish we had one here.” Eddie sighed.

“God me too, I could eat a whole dozen to myself right now I think.” Steve agreed.

“I’ll get some when we tour the US again, you’ll have to come to every show in a state that has one.”

“Hmm deal if I get a dozen every time.” Steve nodded lazily. “Now I’m so hungry.”

Eddie chuckled, “the munchies are upon us, took longer than I thought.”

“Hey!” Steve pouted.

“Hey! Nothing, I’ve watched you eat an entire tub of ice cream then throw basically all of it up because it gave you a stomach ache.” Eddie was laughing now.

“Whatever, you thought you had jaundice that one time because you and the band smoked for hours while trying to write for the album and you didn’t leave the studio for so long everything had a yellow tinge.” It was Steve’s turn to laugh.

“That was for the sake of creative process!” Eddie defended. “You are so lucky I don’t wanna mess up this mask or I’d mud wrestle you right here right now.”

Steve burst into laughter, just as the door opened again and the aestheticians returned. His teeth clacked as he snapped his mouth closed. They said nothing and Eddie gave his hand a reassuring squeeze.

The mud mask was wiped away with warm cloths and a bunch of serums and oils were rubbed into their faces. Then they made their ways over to the wet room where they were wrapped in seaweed then scrubbed down with a giant natural sponge. They both opted for the lotion after and were thankful for it as it was basically a second massage.

All that was left was the scalp massage which was what Steve was looking forward to the most. He and Eddie kept their pinkies linked as they laid on their backs, heads tilted back into water basins. Two new aestheticians came in and steamed their scalps, then it was a dry brush through, shampoo with a scalp massage, rinse, hair mask with a neck and shoulder massage while it sat, rinse, conditioner.

Once they were alone again Steve was the first to speak. “You’re curls are going to look amazing baby, like a like a shampoo commercial or something.”

“Hmm not as good as when you do them for me though, you have magic hands baby.” Eddie replied.

“Its why I’m a hairdresser…wait that was an innuendo wasn’t it.”

“It was but it doesn’t matter, i’m the only one who gets both types of magic,” Eddie tugged Steve’s hand up to his lips, placing a kiss on Steve’s knuckles.

Steve rolled his eyes but his cheeks still turned pink “Can we go eat now?” He asked as he sat up. “I’m pretty sure it wore off now so i’ll be okay to be in a restaurant.”

“Sure sweetheart whatever you want.” Eddie sat up as well, pulling Steve over to him.

Steve went over easily, standing between Eddies legs allowing his boyfriend to koala wrap himself around Steve. Steve rested his head on top of Eddie’s his own hands wrapping around Eddie’s upper body.

“Thanks for today.” Steve whispered into Eddie’s damp hair. He played with it idly, fingers wrapping around random strands of hair to define their curl.

“You don’t need to thank me,” Eddie’s hands tightened around Steve’s waist. “I love spoiling you and am so happy I found another way to do that.” He moved back so he could look at Steve.

“I love you.” Steve smiled shyly.

“I love you too.” Eddie grinned, he leaned up pressing his lip’s against Steve’s for a sweet kiss.

As they pulled back Steve’s stomach made a loud grumble causing them both to burst out in a fit of giggles.

“Lets get you to that restaurant sweetheart.”

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