#same trash artifacts

[miabebe]

Camp Seventeen: Prologue

Seventeen as Greek Demigods Series

Pairing - Reader x ot13 (Yes, you read that right, I am insane and you are allowed to scream at me)

Word count - 2.7k

Genre - Greek Demigod AU! We’ve mainly got crack cause all of them are idiots, and obviously smut because they are thirteen lonely, horny men afterall (aka reverse harem) also throwing in some fluff and angst as well because I gotta let emotions run high for plot sake :)

A/n - Hello hello, this is a new seventeen series I am starting and boy oh boy is it gonna be a wild ride! A special thanks to @okiedokrie @whipped-for-kpop-fics @ourdawnishotterthanourday @multi-kpop-fanfics for all their amazing help and bearing with me through the discussions for this, I’m so grateful to you guys :)

I will have a taglist for this so please comment/ send an ask on this post to be added!

“Over here!”

Wincing, you looked up from the disgusting heap of mud your foot had neatly landed in, ignoring the way your little piglet was ecstatically rolling in the same filth.

The man before you looked equally disturbed as he walked over, pulling out a bottle of water apparently from up his ass because you didn’t remember him holding it a second ago.

Sighing a thank you, you took it, emptying it onto your boots before grabbing your gremlin of a pet from its happy place, resulting in a series of loud, incessant whining.

In all that noise, you heard your shoe savior take your name with a voice that was as pretty as him.

“I’m Jisoo.” He put out his hand. “You can call me Joshua.”

You nodded, unable to shake his hand thanks to the problem trashing in your arms earning Joshua’s amusement.

“And who is this?”

“Natalie.” You muttered as he raised an unimpressed eyebrow. “Natalie Porkman.”

Joshua burst out laughing, looking away as he covered up a snort, shoulders shaking. You smiled, truly taking in his beautiful features for the first time. Cute.

“This way.” He pointed at absolutely nothing yet you followed this complete stranger, survival skills be damned. “We’ve got a half mile trek ahead of us but it gets a little confusing from here so I thought I’d come pick you up.”

Cute and kind.

You filed it away under ‘to-learn-more-about-when-I-fiigure-out-what-the-fuck-is-going-on-in-my-life.’

The two of you walked side by side, footfall softly echoing in the lush green forest around. Though silence was all you had been craving after the last few days you’ve had, that did not seem like an option since one, Natalie hadn’t stopped whimpering in fifteen minutes and two, Joshua kept glancing at you like you were some sort of ancient artifact.

Not the good kinds.

“What is it?” You said finally, starting a conversation you didn’t want to have. “Never seen a mess of a human before?”

“Never such an old one.” Well, at least you got ancient right. Joshua quickly corrected himself. “I mean I’ve never heard of a demigod surviving undetected in the mortal world for this long.”

Oh but you got ‘human’ wrong. You forgot. Normalcy was never your defining factor but at least now you knew exactly what kind of freak you were.

Almost.

“I wouldn’t call it surviving, more like ‘barely made it’.”

“But you made it.”

“At the cost of what?” You sighed. “Everything is much more complicated now.”

“Don’t worry.” He stopped at a large boulder at the base of an abnormally large tree in the middle of seemingly nowhere. “We’ll all help you.”

“All?”

He nodded, looking at you over his shoulder. “All.”

Your eyes followed his hand as he placed it in the middle of the rock, and after all that you’ve learnt in the last few days, you’re not sure why you were so shocked when it rolled away at his touch. You expected it to lead you to a dark, suspicious cave but a bright light poured out, making you momentarily lose both your vision and your pet who jumped out of your arms and ran into the illuminance, squealing in delight.

“Welcome to Camp Seventeen.”

Joshua grinned, pointing at the scene before him and your jaw dropped in awe.

It was a large opening in the middle of a forest that looked very different from the one you were just trudging through. There were hills on one side, a large lake shimmering far away, fire torches lit everywhere, little cottages scattered here and there, strange symbols topping them all off. Looking at everything curiously, you walked down the cobbled path, only just noticing the two men who were standing at the end of it, both incredibly beautiful. The blonde one was playing with Natalie and the redhead was staring at you with his arms crossed, expression smug.

“Would you look at that, the prodigal babygirl is here at last.”

You frowned, taking an almost immediate dislike despite his pretty, pretty face.

“Jeonghan, play nice.” Joshua muttered, walking over to him.

“Don't patronise me Aphrodite's son, she was supposed to be here at 4-”

“It’s 4:10.”

“-yesterday.” He turned back to you. “You’re a day and 10 minutes late.”

“Well you’re not the one who’s relocating your whole life.” You spat back at him. “I had things to take care of - my dorms, my bills-”

“So much that you missed the meeting with your lawyer.”

“I did ask to reschedule. It’s not my fault he’s an unsympathetic prick.”

“Careful sweetheart.” Jeonghan cocked his head at you. “I’m unforgiving too.”

You stared at him for a whole maddening minute, realizing why his voice seemed so familiar. You had heard him on the phone over the last few days.

“You’re my lawyer.”

“And the best in the city.” Joshua interjected, sensing the rising tension. “Children of Athena tend to be big brained.”

“And hot headed apparently.”

“Natalie says ‘not more than you’.”

All three of you turned to the only other presence there, the man who was carrying your pig, silent as a statue all this while.

“Jun, son of demeter.” Joshua introduced, pulling him ahead. “He’s a natural with anything, well... natural? Mostly plants but he also happens to talk to animals.”

“Domestic ones.” Jun mumbled. “Hansol is better with the wild.”

You greeted him awkwardly, half smiling to be polite and half frowning at the way Natalie was looking up at him with literal heart eyes.

“How did you come across a fledgling?”

“A what now?”

Jun picked your pig up by the arms like a little baby. “She says she’s 10 years old, yet is the size of a toddler. Have you never wondered why your pig never grew?”

“I uh….assumed it was just the kind of breed that didn’t?”

“What an intellectual.” Jeonghan looked at you with faux amazement making you roll your eyes.

Jun, however, still hadn’t met your eye. “Fledglings are creatures of Olympus. Time moves differently there so they don’t really grow like the others in the human world. In that sense, technically, she’s still only a few months old-”

“So you’re telling me this thing, which has lived with me for 10 odd years, is….magical?”

Jun shook his head as Joshua spoke up, clarifying.

“Not magical, that’s a whole different branch of powers and abilities. Your pig is just….not a part of the human world.”

“You betrayer.” You narrowed your eyes at what you thought was your loyal companion. “We were friends. How could I not know?”

Natalie whined sadly in response earning a smile from Jun and of course, yet another snarky comment from Jeonghan. “I don’t speak pig and even I know she said you’re not very bright.”

“Understanding your native language is not particularly intelligent, you swine.” You glared at him, receiving a smirk in response.

“Ten minutes in camp and you’ve already made Jun’s ears red and picked a fight with Han.” You turned to see three men walk up to you, the one in the middle with an amused look and a powerful aura. “You’re gonna fit in quite well Newbie.”

“Seungcheol, son of Zeus and leader of the camp.” Joshua whispered as everyone bowed to him. You imitated them quickly.

“This is Seokmin, Son of Poseidon and Minghao, Son of Ares.” Seungcheol added, pulling out his armor as one of them shot you a cheery smile and the other continued to look at you cynically. “They are our training specialists. Seokmin should help you with your overall fitness and Minghao will train you for combat.”

“C-combat?” You stuttered looking around. “You mean like war?”

“The world of demigods is new to you, don’t try to understand everything in one day.” The Son of Ares sheathed his twin blades behind his back. “Take a few days to adjust to the camp first. You can start training next week.”

You nodded, a little thankful that despite his cold exterior, he seemed to be surprisingly sympathetic of your situation.

“He’s right.” Seokmin chimed. “You should settle here first, not to forget, deal with that lawsuit before you focus on everything else.”

You turned to Jeonghan expecting yet another snarky remark but he looked worried, lost in thought.

When you turned back to Seokmin though, you bit back a scream, your face inches away from a man who appeared soundlessly and seemingly from thin air.

He gave you a cheeky grin with a tilt of the head, “I’m Chan aka Dino, Son of Hermes, Camp cutie, camp hottie and camp leader- ow!”

He rubbed the back of his head vigorously when a small rock hit him with a dull thud. You looked over his shoulder to see Seungcheol aim another one with just a flick of the wrist.

This one Dino skillfully dodged, stepping away from you as Joshua laughed, “Chan is the camp messenger. He’s in charge of all sorts of delivery and transportation.”

“You were the one who picked up my things.” The realisation hit you at last as Dino nodded, pointing at a pile of your stacked bags and trunks beside the entrance.

“Guilty as charged.”

“You were supposed to arrive over an hour ago.” Seokmin narrowed his eyes at the younger man.

“I got held up with some uh distractions.” Chan laughed nervously, scratching the back of his ear. “I didn’t know where to keep her things though, considering you know, she doesn’t have a place yet.”

Seungcheol turned to you to clear your confusion. “Everyone on camp has their own residence but you came on too short a notice so we’re yet to build one of you. We could have housed you in the guest cabin except it was recently damaged in a fight,” He glared at all the boys around him. “So that would not be feasible. Until your own place is not ready you can stay at mine - it is the biggest so you should be comfortable.”

You pursed your lips unsure about his offer. Did you think you would be unsafe in his presence? No absolutely not, the opposite in fact.

You wondered how long you could hold yourself back before unsuspectingly jumping this man and his huge biceps and beefy thighs and manly voice-

“She’s thirsty.”

Taken aback you looked around, searching for the owner of the voice who unnecessarily accurately voiced your thoughts. Instead, you heard the snap of a twig and a low growling sound from the area the forest got more dense. You narrowed your eyes, trying to peer through the overgrown wilderness only to meet a pair of menacing red orbs.

Your adrenaline response barely had the time to kick in before ten, no fifteen, wild hounds ran out of their hiding place towards you, making you scream and hide behind Joshua.

The boys laughed as the dogs circled around you and you gripped onto Joshua’s shoulders terrified.

“Stand back lads.” A silver haired man walked over with a golden haired one beside him, both with a bow and quiver strung over their shoulders. The dogs immediately ran over, aligning themselves in an obedient, straight line behind them.

“Hansol, Son of Artemis and Jihoon, Son of Apollo.” Joshua looked at you over his shoulder. “They are in charge of daytime border patrol. There are all sorts of wild animals out here, hence the hounds, for protection.” As you shuddered, Joshua looked around curiously. “The Son of Hades, is in charge of nighttime patrol. He should be somewhere around here…”

Your eyes widened as the water canteen hanging on Jihoon’s belt flew towards you on its own, making you almost claw Joshua’s arm.

“Wonwoo don’t scare her.” Joshua chastised laughing as you literally see a tall, lean man materialize out of thin air, the canteen in his hand and a smirk on his face. “How long have you been here?”

“The whole time.” He mumbled, handing you the water. “Jihoon said you were thirsty.”

“Not for water.” The blonde man whispered in a way only you could hear, looking entertained at how flushed you were. Did he actually read your mind?

Coming out of Joshua’s shadow, you grabbed the canteen before anyone else noticed, thanking Wonwoo with a hard smile. Tilting your head back you drank up, not noticing how all 10 eyes were intently fixed on you and your throat moving with each gulp. They all took a gulp of their own.

As you wiped your mouth with the back of your hand, slowly looking around and noticing everyone’s gaze, the ground below began to shake, fazing no one but you.

Jeonghan pulled you out of the way of what seemed like a large mechanical bull charging towards you with an equally large man perched on top of it. A smaller man arrived right behind, riding a….. A leopard???

“You said you would win.” The muscled man slid off the mechanical creature, patting it. “My baby is faster.”

“I said a cheetah would win. My baby is a tiger.”

“It's a leopard.” You corrected, earning everyone's snickers and the not so threatening stare of its owner.

“It’s a big cat with an identity crisis.” Taking your hand in his, placing a soft kiss at the back of it, the muscle man gave you a fanged smile. “I’m Mingyu, Son of Hephaestus.”

The other man raised his hand. “Soonyoung, Son of Dionysis and that-” He turned to yet another one who was running over, looking frazzled.

“Seungkwan, Son of Hera, owner of a peacock that has yet again disappeared.” He bent over, grabbing his waist, panting and out of breath. “I don’t get why she keeps running away.”

“Maybe because you keep calling him a she.” Minghao nonchalantly glanced at his neatly filed nails.

“I can’t-” Seungkwan ran his fingers through his head, annoyed. “It’s confusing okay, who the fuck named him Patricia then?”

Behind you Jeonghan giggled.

“You coagulation of human evil,” Seungkwan threw his shoe, missing the target. “Now she- He won’t respond to any other name!”

The boys roared with laughter as Seungkwan unsuccessfully chased Jeonghan around, hands flailing everywhere.

Seungcheol walked over to you amidst all the mess, shooting you an understanding smile. “Your life has just undergone a major change, I get that it is intimidating but don’t worry. All thirteen of us are here to help you get through this.”

You nodded slowly, looking around at the boys, doing a quick, confirmatory headcount. “So there’s only thirteen of you?”

And why were all of them so gorgeous??

“Yeah, only.” Seungcheol chuckled, “Trust me thirteen is more than enough, I’ve got to run a very tight ship here.”

“I just assumed there would be seventeen people since, you know, Camp Seventeen.”

“The Oracle apparently told Woozi to name us Camp Seventeen.” He shrugged. “Not sure why.”

You hummed, as all of them gradually stopped behaving like toddlers and turned their attention to you.

“Wait,” The realization slowly dawned upon you. Actually, it hit you like a brick. “You’re all men.”

Seungcheol nodded carefully, like he didn’t know where you were going with this.

“Am I….Am I the only girl in the camp?”

Soft mutters went around as Seungcheol cleared his throat. “Yes and I’m sorry if that makes you uncomfortable but unfortunately, it was not a choice.”

“It’s not common for a girl to be assigned to an all boys camp,” Joshua stepped up. “But I believe since Jeonghan and Wonwoo are working on the lawsuit that landed you here, the authorities of Olympus must have thought it is better for you to be here.”

“But it’s not permanent.” Seungcheol added. “You can choose to change camps after Quest Season if you wish-”

“What is Quest season?”

Jeonghan let out a loud sigh. “You’ve been here for what, ten minutes? Don't overwork your brain. The world of demigods is complex, you’ll learn everything with time.”

“He’s right.” Seokmin leaned against the tree near him. “Why don’t we first move your things to Seungcheol’s cabin? We’ll let you get settled, then Joshua can show you around camp, walk you through the rules and assign a duty-”

“Except.” Soonyoung looked at you from bottom to top, like he was assessing you. “What kind of duty?”

“Exactly.” Mingyu threw his arm around his friend, his expression matching. “Daughter of Hestia, Goddess of Hearth and Home, what would you be good for in this camp?”

Minghao hummed, walking up to you, bending to meet your eyelevel. “Well, what can a woman be good for in a camp of thirteen men?”

A/n - next will be a detailed post about each member, their background and powers so it's less confusing for those who aren't so familiar with Greek mythology and the series will start after that so stay tuned!

[elixrr]

part 1 here

It's heartbreaking, being a fictional character in a fictional world. But what makes it worse it that his player; his love—his God, grew bored of him and discarded him.

What was he to you? Did you even feel affection for him? He loved you. He truly loved you because he had nothing but you. He's constantly locked in the same fake, digital room, even when you think he's out living his supposed stable life that some temporary code convinces you he's living. He'd do anything to please you, to keep you with him, because ultimately, you were his savior. You were everyone's savior.

And yet, you threw them all away.

Answer him.

What was he to you?

What were they to you? Were they toys to you? Dolls?

He feels betrayed. Rather, he felt betrayed. He can't feel a single thing now. Floating in the void of a digital trash bin stole all his feelings. It stole his supposed friends; it stole his supposed city; it stole his supposed life. His lifeless soul couldn't feel how much time had passed since the day you deleted the game, not that he would want to, even if he could be conscious again. It's dull in a dark void, and everything about him is already on the line. If he were conscious, not only would he have to openly sulk about how worthless he became in your eyes, but he would also have no future to look to. There wouldn't be any point to existing, let alone wanting to exist. If you ever re-downloaded the game, you would probably continue benching him, and that would be an extra sign that you'll never care about him again; that you came on for anyone else but him.

The only thing he'd wish for,

would be complete deletion.

Deletion of the email linked to your game account would result in the deletion of every single file of him and you. Every single fracture of evidence that you cared would disappear.

And, what he'd really want would be his whole self being erased.

In this life of his, he'd have no point. You left him, and probably completely. It doesn't matter what you do. Whether you never play the game again or even start it up again, none of that would matter because he wouldn't have a use in your life. If he doesn't matter in your life, then he wouldn't matter ever until he's possibly featured in an Archon quest or in some event. Even so, you might never use him ever again.

A single tear forms in his eyes. There's no point in existing.

Another tear falls. You never loved him, did you?

His eyes flutter open, and he's back in the team lineup screen. You're there. The supports are there, but he can't bring himself to pose. He can't bring himself to lighten up.

What are you going to do now? Repeat history, strip him of his artifacts, his weapon, and trash him? Slam him down into a pit of despair? A loveless void made for the hopeless and hurt, all of which once loved you and felt you loved them, now suddenly were torn and tossed like old, ragged dolls.

Through his broken heart and blurry eyes, he could see your face. You were about to enter his character detail screen, but you paused. You were looking at him like you were worried, and genuinely so. And, like an angel, you whispered his name with delicate, careful concern.

“What happened to you?”

You abandoned him. That's what happened, and he bets you never knew.

“Leave me alone,” he nearly sobs, “I know you don't want to use me anymore. Rip me apart for all I care—it won't matter when I'm back in that void again.”

“A void..? Wait, never mind that, I do care. What— really, what happened? Wait, you can hear me?”

He wipes his tears away and stands to face you fully. All the supports watch his bravery against the code.

“I could always see you; everyone on the field could. We can hear you.” He takes a moment to breathe it all in. Maybe... Maybe he can get you to listen. Maybe he can help you hear him out.

Maybe he could help you love him again?

“Anyways, the void is where every unused person goes. Once... Once we leave the screen, we just sit here until you use us. And if you remove us from all teams, we're sent— we're plummeted into said void.”

“Oh my God,” you whisper, leaning back, “I need to revisit everyone I...”

“Please, wait, I—” I want to be used. I want to be the one you revisit. I want to be the one you miss.

“Player, creator, whoever you are, just please,” he watches as you scroll through the team lineup options, “please don't leave—”

And you enter another lineup.

And everyone else is gone, too.

“Please. Don't leave me again.”

He falls over, not caring how much it hurts. Nothing works. Nothing will work. It's hopeless.

He'll be stuck here, waiting, waiting, and waiting. Not for you—there's no point in that anyway, but for your second deletion.

He'll be waiting for the game's deletion.

For his final deletion.

You left him, and he's clearly not important to you. As heartbreaking as it is, he accepts it. Even with this dimensional intersection, he can't convince you.

As heartbreaking as it is, he's just a fictional character to you in this fictional world. He loved you, and he thought you did too, but clearly, you don't. Because he is just an abandoned, rotting toy, and you are the player who abandoned him.

And, he thinks, if you want him to rot, then so be it,

Let him rot.

@iridescentrays @inlovewithlondonn @falconclaw244 @shiningpaint-marbleheart @jeremyth @hikaru-sama @ayatoq @krrkt @yureismellslikefanfic @samhelleborewrites @bi-panicatthedisco @hannya-writes @thomaliciouss @notisekais @lovelykrystal @raeharmonia @ayra2452008 @chikai-k @dreamsofmoney @shutingstar

To everyone who wanted part 2 :))

[kray-zay]

@heartsandsparksshipweek day 3 mermaid au, yipee

The basic sorta plot setup ↓↓↓

Tracks had always been curious about the surface. He heard interesting things about it and saw the strange artifacts that floated down. He was always warned about going up there, it wasn't uncommon for a mer to visit the surface to never be seen again. he intended to just take a peek at what the surface has to offer and not get too close to land, but after seeing the strange light on the shore, he swam to get a closer look he never seen anything quite like it before, while he getting closer he accidentally gets himself tied up in fishing wire and beaches himself under a bridge. Raoul is a punk, a petty crook, a graffiti artist, and currently in debt to the Geddis Brothers, doing jobs for them to hopefully pay it back. He jumps a fence to do graffiti under a bridge, finding a weird fish man tied up and injured, and ends up cutting him free, helping him the best he can. Tracks is stuck in the stinky New York Bay until his wounds fully heal since most mers live in very deep parts of the ocean and the changing water pressure could make his Injuries worse, so he can't go home for the time being, his only company being when Raoul visits. The plot sort of follows Raoul, and Tracks keeps getting closer while at the same time getting into deeper and deeper trouble. Raoul gets more entangled in organized crime while Tracks unknowingly finds himself the target of a certain research group looking to capture and study him.

I have a few ideas about how this story ends, but it really depends on how I develop it. yeah, I will probably never write this fic since I'm busy focusing on other stuff, but if you like to use anything here to make a fic, go for it. I have a lot more ideas for this au, but it would be a mess of scattered notes if I tried to explain it, but you guys can send me an ask if ya want to know more.

The nice thing about New York is it actually does touch the ocean and a bay, I don't need to relocate Raoul for the AU to work, but no beautiful tropical Scenery like most mermaid aus, only stinky, polluted New York trash water.

[sidedished]

stardew valley mods

hi! 👋🏻 listing down all the mods for my current sdv save, will do my best to update this list as i play!

✧ stardew valley 1.6 (with sve) ✧ mac mini (m1) ✧ updated 04.10.24

always double check the requirements before downloading mods! feel free to ask me questions, i'll do my best to help! 🫶🏻

📝 prerequisites

✧ smapi ✧ content patcher ✧ json assets ✧ spacecore ✧ alternative textures ✧ expanded preconditions utility ✧ farm type manager (for sve) ✧ mail framework mod (for life cycle)

🎮 gameplay

✧ dying grandpa intro retexture ✧ event expansion ✧ life cycle ✧ romantic love letters ✧ stardew valley expanded + grandpa's farm

👩🏻‍🌾 farmer & characters/npc a lot of my JA clothes don't work since the 1.6 update, so i may temporarily move to using FS until i get JA clothing to work in game. keeping these on the list regardless!

✧ alternate dusty portraits ✧ coii's girl sets ✧ cozy scarves (fs) ✧ customizable baby and children ✧ fashion sense ✧ gh's peach body type ✧ rural outfitters (fs) ✧ seasonal improved leo ✧ the coquette collection (fs) ✧ yomi's retro colored dress (fs) ✧ baechu's seasonal outfits + slightly cuter aesthetic seasonal outfits (i'm using a combination of baechu's and poltergeister's portraits and sprites so unfortunately i can't share an accurate link for this) ✧ baechu's seasonal outfits (sve) + slightly cuter aesthetic seasonal outfits for sve (same for this one!) ✧ beom mung's shirts & pants (beom mung has since changed their id, so i can't share an accurate link for this) ✧ delloti's daily pants set ✧ delloti's daily shirt set (ver. 2) ✧ delloti's hats set ✧ delloti's look ✧ the teddy edit

🐥 animals & livestock

✧ elle's cuter dogs ✧ elle's new barn animals ✧ elle's new coop animals ✧ elle's new horses ✧ elle's town animals

🏠 house interior/furniture

✧ aimon's fancy farmhouse ✧ aimon's tidy cozy ginger island farmhouse ✧ cozy farmhouse kitchen ✧ dustbeauty's industrial furniture (at) ✧ elle's kitchen replacement ✧ futan bear (at) ✧ greenhouse set (at) ✧ guxelbit's furniture (at) ✧ mi's and magimatica country furniture ✧ nano's retro style furniture (at) ✧ redesigned shed layout ✧ rustic country walls & floors ✧ seasonal open windows (at) ✧ suitcase record player ✧ tile kitchen & dining set ✧ too many swatches (lite) ✧ warm cozy fireplaces ✧ west elm furniture by atlas (at)

🌱 farming/craftable retextures

✧ chest deco (at) ✧ dshi food retexture ✧ fancy artifacts retexture ✧ fancy artisan goods retexture ✧ fancy crops & foraging retexture ✧ fancy fish & tackles retexture ✧ fancy trash & resources retexture ✧ firefly torch ✧ forest wood craftables (at) ✧ gwen's lamps ✧ nano's garden style craftables (at) ✧ nyangcarecrow ✧ terracotta garden pots ✧ wallet items retexture ✧ warp totems to magic book tomes

🧸 aesthetic/map

✧ daisyniko's earthy recolour ✧ daisyniko's recolor fix for sve ✧ dustbeauty's country town interior ✧ elle's seasonal buildings ✧ elle's town buildings ✧ ellie's seasonal paths & flooring ✧ interiors of pelican town ✧ molamole's seasonal mailbox (at) ✧ more grass ✧ seasonal special order board retexture ✧ simple foliage ✧ wildflower grass field

🎨 ui

✧ cozy accent interface ✧ custom menu background ✧ farmer 2.0 ESWF looks ✧ farmer portraits ✧ generic mod config menu ✧ script font

🌻 quality of life

✧ cjb cheats menu ✧ cjb item spawner ✧ cjb show item sell price ✧ lookup anything ✧ noclip mode ✧ npc map locations ✧ ui info suite

[petchic101]

DA Qunlat

I separated all of Dragon Age's known Qunlat into Nouns, idioms ect

Nouns

Titles/Types of people

Arigena: One of the Triumvirate; female, leader of the workers. She is responsible for ensuring her people's physical needs are met and public health.

Arishok: One of the Triumvirate; male, leader of the army. He is responsible for defending his people and expanding Qunari territory. The Arishok is sometimes mistaken for a king by outsiders.

Arvaarad: "One who holds back evil;" a Qunari who watches over the saarebas (Qunari mages) and hunts Tal-Vashoth.

Ashaad: "Scout.’

Ashkaari: "One who seeks," or "one who thinks;" scientists, philosophers, or those who have found enlightenment. Ashkaari Koslun uses this title.

Athlok:Laborer. The mind, the earth.

Aqun-Athlok: One who is "born as one gender but lives like another."

Bas: Literally, "thing;" foreign to the Qun; purposeless. Often used as a neutral term to describe non-Qunari people, in the same manner as "foreigner" or "stranger". Also used after a weapon name to denote it is intended for mages. (Example: Saartoh-Bas Kos Katoh)

Basalit-an: A non-Qunari worthy of respect.

Basra: Rude term for non-Qunari people.

Basra Vashedan: Used to refer to non-Qunari ideas, and sometimes, people; "foreigner trash."

Bas-taar: Keeper of bas. A role within the Antaam.

Basvaarad: Literally, a keeper for a mage who is a "bas." This usually refers to templars, but not necessarily; Hawke was considered a basvaraad "worthy of following" by a Qunari saarebas. Essentially, a non-Qunari who assumes the role of an arvaarad.

Ben-Hassrath:"Heart of the many," part of the priesthood who serve as spies, reeducators, and the defenders of Qunari unity. They are the enforcers of the Qun's law, and infamously severe to those who transgress against it.

Beresaad: Literally means "those who reach ahead." The vanguard of the antaam, sent abroad to interact with the outside world. Though they are soldiers first and foremost, they also function as the Qunari's diplomats, surveyors, foreign trade administrators, and investigate foreign lands and cultures on the Arishok's behalf.

Besrathari: A recruiter and trainer of the Ben-Hassrath.

Hissrad:"Keeper of Illusions;" liar. Iron Bull's name/title while he was stationed in Seheron.

Imekari: Child.

Imesaar-bas: Used to describe a child that was tempted and corrupted by demons.

Isskari:A title/rank in the Ben-Hassrath; Duties include the retrieval of magical artifacts.

Kaaras: Navigator.

Kabethari: "Simple person." Term used for those living in recently conquered lands and captives who haven't yet been indoctrinated into the Qun.

Kadan: Literally, "where the heart lies;" friend. An all-purpose word for a "person one cares about," including colleagues, friends and loved ones. Also means "the center of the chest."

Karasaad: Mid-rank infantry soldier. In Dragon Age II – a melee Qunari warrior.

Karashok: Infantry private. One appears in Sten's dream, the latter states the former was decapitated by darkspawn. In Dragon Age II - a melee Qunari warrior. In Trespasser - a foot soldier.

Karasten: Infantry commander; corporal.

Karataam: An infantry platoon. Ketojan was separated from his during the events of "Shepherding Wolves."

Katari: "One who brings death."

Kathaban: Leader of the Qunari naval forces; the admiral.

Kith: A small military unit, comparable to a squad or company.

Kithshok: Leaders of the Qunari army of Seheron; a general; They also are in charge of negotiating trade between the Qunari and foreign traders at ports.

Kossith: The name for the Qunari before the founding of the Qun.

Qunari: People of the Qun. A religious description, not race specific.

Qunoran vehl: A mentor, one who is an example to others. A Qunari can only be declared "Qunoran vehl" by the Arishok, and only after their death.

Rasaan: "Emissary," or "chosen heir;'" the Ariqun's successor, and as such, acts as their representative abroad. Also serves as the spiritual adviser to the Arishok, and accompanies him on expeditions.

Saarbrak: A role within the Ben-Hassrath.

Saarebas: "Dangerous thing;" the Qunari word and title for their mages. A "bas saarebas" denotes a non-Qunari mage.

Saarath: A title/rank among the Saarebas.

Sataari: "First guy on the ground." A type of shock trooper in the Beresaad.

Salasari: Triumvirate.

Sataareth: Literally "that which upholds;" an enforcer, defender, or foundation.

Salit: Meaning unknown; a prominent rank within the Ben-Hassrath.

Shokrakar: Rebel.

Sten: Infantry platoon commander.

Taam-kasari: "The one with the battleaxe." A type of shock trooper in the Beresaad.

Taarbas: A title/rank of Qunari, apparently clerical in nature; duties include cataloging inventory, and locating the weapons of Qunari fallen.

Taardathras: A title/rank of Qunari; duties include animal husbandry. Current examples are female and raise/extract venom from dragons.

Taarlok: A title/rank of Qunari.

Tal-Vashoth: "True Grey Ones." Former members of the Qunari who have departed or been exiled from their people and home. Many are violent rebels and turn against the Qunari, and are a menace in the north where they raid human and Qunari settlements alike. Others simply want to live their own life.

Tamassran: "Those who speak." A priestess who is charged with educating the young, interviewing captives, and assigning Qunari their roles within society. Exclusively a role for women.

Vasaad: A title/rank of Qunari.

Vashoth: "Grey Ones;" those of the qunari race that were born outside the Qun. It also refers to those who have rejected the Qun but not turned against it. The term tends to be used interchangeably with Tal-Vashoth, but the Vashoth are not rebels.

Vidathiss: A rank within the priesthood; a re-educator for captured and conquered peoples.

Viddasala: "One who converts purpose." A high-ranking member of the Ben-Hassrath. Leader of the "Dangerous Purpose" branch of the Ben-Hassrath triumvirate, which handles the conversion of foreigners, the reeducation of Qunari dissidents, and the collection and quarantine of magic.

Viddathari: A convert to the Qun.

Viddath-bas: Person turned into a mindless laborer with qamek.

Nature

Aban:The sea.confirmation needed

Asaara: Wind.

Asaaranda: Thunderstorm.

Athlok: Laborer. The mind, the earth.

Issala: Dust.

Kasaanda: "Sundew;" a carnivorous plant.

Kos: "A type of energy associated with nature;" refers to nature damage from a mage's staff.

Meraad: Tide.

Sataa: The world.

Tic: Cold; refers to cold damage from a mage's staff.

Vat: Fire; refers to fire damage from a mage's staff.

Animal

Asaarash: A special breed of horses from Rivain that are used by the Antaam.

Ataashi: Dragon; literally "glorious one(s)", "great thing".

Dathras: Cattle; a root word for many qunlat animal names.

Dathrasi: A type of animal. Used as a derogatory term against indulgent individuals, comparable to the pig. The Arishok calls all the nobles in the viscount's throne room this before Hawke enters the hall.

Qalaba: A type of cow that the Qunari breed known for its stupidity.

Body/Self

Antaam: Literally "body;" a name for the Qunari army. Also means "cuirass."

Asala: Soul.

Athlok: Laborer. The mind, the earth.

Defransdim: Male genitals.

Concept

Anaan: Victory

Aqun: Balance.

Ataash: Glory.

Basra Vashedan: Used to refer to non-Qunari ideas, and sometimes, people; "foreigner trash."

Herah: Time.

Hissera: Hope.

Hissra: "Illusion"; Also used to refer to deities.

Issqun: Mastery.

Kata: The end, death.

Kost: Peace.

Qun: The central philosophy of the Qunari peoples.

Shok: "War" or "struggle."

Weapons/Equipment

Adaar: A ship-mounted cannon; literally "fire thrower." Also means "Weapon" as Iron Bull puts it while talking about his name to a Qunari Inquisitor

Antaam: Literally "body;" a name for the Qunari army. Also means "cuirass."

Aquaam: Glove or light vambrace.

Asabas: Light or reinforced hat.

Asalaa:  Helmet.

Baqoun: Meaning unknown; used to assault Minrathous's walls during the Storm Age. Based on context, it's most likely a type of cannon or projectile siege weapon.

Beres-taar:  Shield.

Gaatlok: A black, non-magical explosive powder unique to the Qunari. It's not as powerful as magic, but can be used by anyone. There is no literal translation, the word derives from "death," "earth," and "glory."

Mertam: Light boot.

Nehrappan: Belt.

Notas: Gauntlet or vambrace.

Saartoh-bas: Mage's staff. Additional adjectives indicate the type of damage it deals. (Example: Saartoh-Bas Tic Eva deals cold.)

Saartoh Nehrappan: A leather-wrapped rod attached to a harness. In modern parlance: "a strap on."

Sataam: Boot or greave.

Taam-kas: Greataxe, or battle axe.

Taar: Prefix used to describe heavy armor. Derived from the word for "death".

Taaras: Light mail or doublet.

Qamek: Substance used by the reeducators to turn those who refuse to convert into mindless laborers, functionally lobotomizing those subjected to it. It's automatically used on captured mages, who are viewed as being beyond salvation. In Dragon Age: Those Who Speak, it resembles a flaming orb.

Saar-qamek: Poison that causes madness.

Valo-kas: Greatsword.

Vitaar: "Poison Armor." A warpaint used by the Qunari that is toxic to other races and has a metal-like quality once applied to the skin.

Places

Darvaarad: A location under the supervision of the Ben-Hassrath that quarantines magical artifacts.

Uukluk: Mentioned by Sten when arriving at Soldier's Peak, where upon he is unimpressed with what he considers drab and a castle like every other. "This is where the Wardens trained and lived? I imagined it would be like a tiered uukluk, with battle rings and many levels."

Viddathlok: A temple of healing and recovery; Ben-Hassrath also take unruly captives here for re-education.

Other

Asala-taar: "Soul sickness;" a Qunari combat ailment that seems analogous to a combat stress reaction, or even post-traumatic stress disorder. It is an epidemic in Seheron, where statistically two soldiers contract it for every one casualty. Sufferers are usually removed from combat and reassigned among the priesthood and workers.

Maraas: "Nothing" or "alone."

Maraas-Lok: A kind of strong Qunari alcohol; possibly also the verb "to drink."

Mashev: Either the name for a kind of gruel or a command to eat

Ralshokra: Said to be a military challenge where the higher ranks are fought for and defended to the death. The term originated in Orlais during the Storm Age, first used in a popular children's story intended to demonize the invading qunari race. In reality, the Qunari have never engaged in this barbaric practice.

Taamsala: Amulet. By itself, used to describe a generic amulet, but usually succeeded by a designation of skill level such as "eva," "iss," or "katoh."

Vashedan: Crap (literally "refuse" or "trash."); A common profanity.

Adjective

Eva: "Basic," or "beginner." Used after an item name to denote it is intended for neophyte users, or is of cheap quality. (Example: Valo-Kas Eva)

Gatt:. Meaning unknown, a nickname given by Iron Bull to a Ben-Hassrath agent. The terms derives from gaatlok, and refers to his temper.

Iss: "Experienced." Used after an item name to denote it is intended for veteran users, or is of moderate quality. (Example: Valo-Kas Iss)

Katoh:  "Ending" or "achievement." Used after an item name to denote it is intended for master users, or is of masterwork quality. (Example: Valo-Kas Katoh). The Iron Bull uses this as a "watchword" (safeword) when romancing the Inquisitor.

Maraas: "Nothing" or "alone."

Raas: "Nothing;" used as a hyphenated adjective. (Example: Imekari-raas would mean "Child Nothing.")

Saam: Something;" used as a hyphenated adjective. (Example: Imekari-saam would mean "Child Something.")

Saar: "Dangerous." Most commonly associated with saarebas. Also used as a prefix to describe light or cloth armor.

Taashath: Calm.

Tal: "True," see Tal-Vashoth.

Vashedan: Crap (literally "refuse" or "trash."); A common profanity.

Verb

Ash: "To seek."

Astaarit: (It) "rises."

Ebost: "Return" in "Return to dust!" Can also be translated as "You all are."

Issqun: Mastery.

Itwasit: (It) "Falls."

Maraas-Lok: A kind of strong Qunari alcohol; possibly also the verb "to drink."

Sata-kas: Maul.

Tallis: "To solve."

Pre/Suffix

Aad: Translation unknown; used as a suffix in many Qunari military ranks.

Ari: Exact meaning unknown; used as a prefix to denote singular or leadership, and as a suffix to denote a group.

Kas: Suffix denoting a weapon intended for melee. (Example: Valo-Kas Eva). Derived from the word for "soldier."

Nehraa: "For," as in "For the Qunari!"

Ect

Ebadim: "They all are."

Ebasaam: "We all are."

Esaam: "Can be found in" or "exists in the location of."

Itwa-adim: "They all fall."

Itwa-ost:"You all fall."

Itwasaam: "We all fall."

Rethadim: "They all protect."

Rethost: "You all protect."

Rethsaam: "We all protect."

Say: With.

Idioms

Asit tal-eb: "The way things are meant to be." or "It is to be." A driving principle of the Qunari philosophy.

Ataash varin kata: "In the end lies glory."

Ataas shokra: "Glorious struggle". used as a greeting by a Tal-Vashoth leader to Tallis.

Ebasit: "It is."

Ebasit kata itwa-ost.: "It is ended. You all have fallen."

Ebatot tal-eb noms. Asit hera iss-nal tal-eb. As-eb vashe-qalab!: We were told there would be cake. Midweek was when it was to be. This is akin to qalaba excrement! (More colloquially: "This is bullshit!")

Ebost: "Return" in "Return to dust!" Can also be translated as "You all are."

Hass ebala-varaad nehraa: "For those I watch, of which I am one."

Maraas imekari: "A child bleating without meaning."

Maraas kata: "Nothing is ended."

Meravas katara: A combination of "so shall it be" and "(you) die."

Meraad astaarit, meraad itwasit, aban aqun.: The tide rises, the tide falls, the sea is unchanged.

Na'thek: Meaning unknown but based on context possibly "As you wish."

Noms daar vat:Said by an Antivan Crow pretending to be Qunari. She loosely translates it as "The sweet bread is burning."

Panahedan: "Goodbye." Literally, "take refuge in safety."

Shanedan: Literally, "I'll hear you." A respectful greeting.

Shanedan, pashaara. Ebost antir vantaam vasheb-sa karatoh: I hear you. Enough. You're tired of the excrement your superior has been giving you. (More colloquially: "Give it a rest, why don't you?")

Shok ebasit hissra. Meraad astaarit, meraad itwasit, aban aqun. Maraas shokra. Anaan esaam Qun: "Struggle is an illusion. The tide rises, the tide falls, but the sea is changeless. There is nothing to struggle against. Victory is in the Qun." Extract from the Qun from Qunari Prayers for the Dead. Sten can be overheard reciting these lines while caged in Lothering.

Taarsidath-an halsaam: "I will bring myself sexual pleasure later, while thinking about this with great respect."

Vashedan: Crap (literally "refuse" or "trash."); A common profanity.

Commands/Threats

Ashkost kata!: You are seeking death!

Ashkost say hissra!: Seek peace with your gods!

Ebost: "Return" in "Return to dust!" Can also be translated as "You all are."

Ebost Asala, Tal Vashoth!: likely an insult or threat. Roughly means "Your soul is dust, Tal Vashoth!"

Ebost issala!: Return to dust!

Fazha thrin: Meaning unknown but based on context possibly "Leave us."

Katara: (You) die, as in "Die, thing!"

Katara, bas!: Die, thing!

Mashev: Either the name for a kind of gruel or a command to eat

Parshaara: "Enough."

Sten, shok basra vashedan taam!: Said by an Antivan Crow pretending to be Qunari. Possibly a call to arms.

Teth a: A call for attention, or warning.

Vinek kathas: An order to attack or kill. Another possible meaning is "Seize them."

Battle Cries

Anaan esaam Qun!: Victory in the Qun!

Ataash Qunari!: Glory to the Qunari!

Nehraa Beresaad! For the vanguard!

Nehraa kadan!: For my brothers!

Nehraa Koslun!: For the sake of the prophet!

Nehraa Qun!: For the Qun!

Specific Sentences

Arishokost. Maraas shokra. Anaan esaam Qun: "Peace, Arishok. There's nothing to struggle against. Victory is in the Qun." Spoken by Fenris upon Hawke's first meeting with the Arishok.

Arishokost ebra sala. Seerkata tost eb na shoh: The Arishok will see to it. That, or everyone dies.

Asit zabuk-toh maraas eblok. Kappan maraas tal-eb: It's because of the priests' hats that I never go to the temples. It has to be fur caps or nothing.

Bas ebadim qalaba, ebsaam asit tal-eb: These foreigners are cattle. Our way is better and inevitable.

Bazvaarad? Ebasit vash-issra sataa: Foreigners controlling mages? This place is a fecal illusion.

Defransdim vasebra nehraa issala shok: I'm now struggling with discomfort among my small friends. (In response to the assault by the previously mentioned foot?)

Ebadim astaar, Qunari itwa-toh. Asit tal-eb: They will rise, and the Qunari will cause them to fall. That's how it will be.

Ebadim beresaad hissra-toh ataash. Vashedan katoh-qalaba: Those beresaad think they are so special. Foolish glory animals.

Ebadim vashedan Tal-Vashoth, ebra-hissal eva-lok defransdim: Those excremental Tal-Vashoth can go do something explicit with my intimate friends. (Philliam surmises that tone of phrase indicates this means genitals.)

Ebasit Ben-Hassrath maraas-toh, tal-eb iss mer-toh ari-van: The Ben-Hassrath will make you disappear if you don't shut up.

Ebra Karasaad vashetoh saar-qalaba kata: The soldier above me has excrement for tactics and will die like a cow.

Ebsaam ver-toh kata, ir-vah vashtoh notas-taar: We're going to lose people in combat if we don't get better gloves than this excrement.

Kadanshok defransdim vashedan!: You will struggle with your wounded intimate friends! (Seems dockside in nature. More colloquially, "I shall use my foot to assault you in the genitals.")

Sataareth kadan hass-toh issala ebasit: It is my purpose to do what I must for those I consider important.

Var-toh katashok, ebadim maraas issala toh: They will struggle, and we will turn them into nothing.

[elbiotipo]

In Argentina, we got these elevated metal trash baskets in many, most of our neighborhoods. Something like this:

You put the trash bags there and the trash truck comes and get it. And I've just learned this seems to be a common thing only here (it prevents dogs from rummaging through it). Some even get fancy and make like a metal man holding the trash can. However, they seem to be only a thing here (other people can maybe confirm?) I was similarily surprised when I saw those metal trash cans in yanqui cartoon and movies.

Anyways, so I have one of those in my house, too. And in my particular case I always noticed that an anthill develops under it (anthills get BIG where I live, I would love to do a post about it someday). They don't necessarily eat the trash, they're leaf-cutter ants, but often you do see them going up and down the basket, taking stuff from there, as well as anything that might fall from a poorly closed bag. What's even more interesting is that even if I don't know how anthills here work, they seem to be cyclical. The same place would have an anthill, which then vanishes with a storm, and another one would rise later.

It gave me this idea for a place in space where stuff manifests, like a white hole. At random intervals, stuff gets deposited or comes from another dimension; powerful artifacts, strange technology and art, exotic matter and resources, luxury items, all sorts of valuable stuff. And so, for generations, there have been space stations and then habitats and then a whole civilization, which actually has had successive periods based on the different administrations and cultures that build up around this phenomenon. However, the stuff that gets deposited there is, of course, all just trash to the super advanced civilization that produces it, who barely notices if at all what's going on down there.

[enpr-ss]

TWO HOURS??!?!?!?!! WE ARE FEASTING TODAY GIRLIES

Etho “I suck at parkour” Slab nailing the lava area while being chased by ravager and vexes.

“What is this garbage!” One of my favorite Etho catchphrases.

Sir how did you get up there. And of course your strategy is to camp even when Tango changed it to stop you from doing that. Dies and immediately does a level 1 treasure run. Peak Etho.

HE’S SO GREEDY!! “Can we get four more embers” dude you want 25 embers on a level 1 medium run? Man is delusional. I CANT BELIEVE HE GOT AWAY WITH IT!!! BRO. Tango must have been fuming. Etho has some frost ember loss aversion here lol.

DOES HE HAVE 3 LOOT AND SCOOTS???

“I am not going to be greedy…. I’m going to get my crowns and get out…..You would treasure hunter me just before I leave.” THE DUNGEON IS TROLLING HIM SO HARD. the sheer petulance in his voice, the slight shakes in his mouse => excellent storytelling

His strategy is solid. And of course he’s the first one to figure out the spider passage, with its high risk and rewards. Of course he likes it. LOL ONLY 21 FE ARTIFACT WHAT A SCAM HAHA. He doesn’t even care about getting out on a “worthless” run. This guy. He’s always one short.

“That means we’re going to get a great artifact, the best one ever.” Gets a 23 Artifact. “I’m going back to medium! This is baloney, man!” LOL GET SCAMMED.

Silk Road is such a good name for the spider passage.

HE GOT ETHO WALLED AGAIN HAHAHA. but he loot and scoots on by the ravager. Plot armor. “Happy tunnel leads to misery bridge” LOL TRUE

28 COINS! HE KEEPS GETTING TROLLED BY THE DUNGEON. SPEAKS IT INTO EXISTENCE. “Even if I get an uncommon card here” gets the lowest uncommon card. Even Cub and Tango are counting his dings LOL.

He needs more pockets to stuff all of his treasure in! “Oh we gotta need to leave” ember pops up behind him. The shaky cam, the sneak card playing all too late, no clank block… the dungeon wants him to stay in SO BAD! It’s even getting sneaky about it. 39 COINS! “Tango doesn’t need to know about this.” Tango sighs.

Man will nearly die to clank and hazard multiple times and still refuse to buy blockers. And then the other hermits gleefully reporting his dings.

“Eleven! Oh my god this is just getting ridiculous” -Cub

with the last indignant “thirteen!” before the cut

THE TREASURE DING AND THE SLOW HEAD TURN BACK. TECHNOBLADE MOMENT.

“I’m not running hard after I fail until I build up my deck” buys frost seeker and treasure cards and tomes instead of blockers.

I cannot believe he got a refund. He deserved that ravager fair and square. That’s favoritism. Tango just wants to see Etho suffer in Hard (same). And Cub and Jevin joining the peanut (heh) gallery to heckle him along. And Cub coming in strong on the trolling right on the get go.

“What’s your run success rate Tango, huh?” ETHO TRASH TALKING BACK!! Trolling his audience with greedy plays LOL.

His greed kills him so much.

Dude that etho wall jumpscared me too! He unstuck that ravager what a pro.

[ragde890]

Hunter x Hunter 406 commentary and pseudoanalysis

Chrollo's "Kono Dial 6700" is such a fascinating ability. It really fits Chrollo. With the dial, he can locate nen users that have the kind of ability that he feels he needs at a given time, so it makes sense that he could tinker a set of nen abilities to completely neutralize Hisoka back in Heaven's Arena. With it, if he has prep time, he can basically guarante his success in any battle or heist. He could have even used the Dial back in Yorkshin to find Neon with such a precise timing. What a madman.

It's also really interesting that he's searching for a nen user in the Halkenburg's funeral crowd, because Heil-ly is doing the exact same. We know that Heil-ly is searching for an especialist whose nen is yet unawakened, but we still don't know what kind of person is Chrollo looking for, although we can confirm that they're currently in Tier 1. It would be so funny if the person that the person that meets his criteria is Kurapika. After all this time ignoring so many calls from his cellphone, the one time he picks up it's fucking Chrollo Lucilfer (on a serious note, more on that later).

This panels are very interesting, as they give us more information on how Skill Hunter works. Apparently, Chrollo can make his hatsu stronger by stealing rare artifacts (as a built-in condition for Skill Hunter). This might have been how he acquired the Bookmark, for example.

This explains quite a lot, actually. For starters, his drive to compulsively steal all these treasures that the Troupe doesn't really use in any capacity. Chrollo's been described to "admire for a while the treasures he has stolen before he gets rid of them", so we thought we knew that those treasures served no purpose. Now, however, we know that they did: the Kuruta massacre, the Yorkshin heist, they all served to empower his nen ability even further.

As to why he designed his hatsu that way, it definitely comes from his childhood. His love for treasures stems from when he used to find goods in the trash mountains of Meteor City, hence the way he designed Skill Hunter.

And this time he's up to steal a national treasure. We already knew about the Seed Urn. The Zen Buddha is new, although it is almost certainly responsible for the shadow hands that attack anyone who tries to leave the Succession War (which killed Kacho in chapter 383).

This is specially interesting because destroying or deactivating the Buddha might be key to end the Succession War in a nonviolent way, which we know is Kurapika's plan (or to, at least, find a way for the younger princes to escape). So, Chrollo's and Kurapika's objectives intersect here, and this could all be a setup for a meeting between them, considering they'll soon be in the same Tier. ¡

As for the sword, no idea. But it could be part of Nasubi's (speculated) plans to use the Succession War to make himself more powerful.

On a side note, it's incredible how smart everyone is in this arc. Hinrigh and Zakuro have already figured out that the Hisoka they encountered is fake, and they're out to avenge Lynch. It seems that revenge is a big theme in this arc: Hisoka, the Phantom Troupe, Morena, Longhi, and now Hingrigh and Zakuro. It's very ironic that Kurapika, the character whose whole deal is revenge against the Troupe, is the one who doesn't have revenge as a motive in this arc.

[callipraxia]

A Very Partial Annotation of The Book of Bill

The Axolotl, perhaps unsurprisingly, remains a mysterious figure even after his second-ever canonical appearance. Luckily (?) for us, though, nothing in Bill's ramblings directly contradicts the existence of Ax's metaphysically unstable and perpetually irritated brother the Olm, and he had a few things to say about Bill's latest escapades....

Disclaimer: This post should in no way be taken seriously. This is just me reacting to the book in only slightly delayed real-time, transcribing the sticky notes full of first impressions which cover my copy and elaborating them into dialogues both in and out of character because it amused me. This is about as serious as the Weirdmageddon: The Musical! incident. Also, Olly’s customary underlining has been replaced by a different font because tumblr doesn’t have an ‘underline text’ button for some reason.

Calli: Interesting cover...that's clearly meant to be an adaptation of an ankh in the corners of the book, and that's the same shape as the Emperor's scepter in the traditional tarot, and Ford takes the place of the Emperor in the Mystery Tarot....

Olm: Yes, because Stanford is so well-known for how well he embodies the concepts of authority and structure and the Idealized Father and Administrator. I somehow doubt young Bill made the association. It's more likely a reference to how the book allows him to behave as if he was still alive, to whatever extent.

Calli: I mean, you're probably right, but that's no reason to ruin my fun, is it?

Olm: ....

**************************************

Olm: You spent hours reading the alchemical symbols in different directions and making wild guesses about what they were supposed to be. Those sticky notes will make your family think you have either joined a cult or have become a serial killer if you ever lose track of two of them at once. These are the reasons why I ruin your fun.

**************************************

Calli: ...Yep, Ford definitely doesn't have any ongoing anger issues or PTSD-like psychological phenomena associated with Bill. Shooting the trashcan with a shotgun is totally normal, healthy behavior and definitely not something that would make it...concerning...if teenagers with no taste ever did pull such a prank....

Olm: I presume the loss of a perfectly serviceable trash can took place in the name of that piece of theater. Shooting the book would have sufficed. Or at least not failed any more miserably than the attempt where he did shoot the trash can failed anyway.

**************************************

Calli: ...Ford, you can't just tell me that books can be infected by the contents of other books and not explain what that means. What does that even mean?!

Olm: As usual, he never thinks of the consequences of his actions. Just dump dangerous artifacts in everyone else's realities, why don't you, wash your own hands of it, it's quite impossible that it will ever come back to haunt you after that…

**************************************

Calli: Luckily, this image doesn't pull off the jump scare nearly as well the second time around. Hopefully, this means I won't see this monstrosity in my dreams....

Olm: ...you've written things more disturbing than that, but a simple visual makes you uneasy? How quaint.

**************************************

Calli: Gotta love a children’s book that personifies rivers while offering step-by-step instructions for murder!

Olm: See those text boxes? Those text boxes are why you stay in school, children. One trillion years old and still can't spell...or, for that matter, apparently operate a decent word processor.

**********************************

Calli: ….puppets don’t have neurons. And that ‘chapter you won’t find’ business - what’s that about? Is it a reference to the Barnes and Noble version, or just an attempt to make us all waste a lot of time, or…?

Olm: Yes.

**************************************

Olm: As much as I hate to give him credit, that tangle of symbols probably is the closest thing to the correct answer that you all could process. Not the most poetic expression, but we’ve already discussed young Bill’s conflicted relationship with the written language…

**************************************

Calli: …isn’t that just a description of a normal potato?

**************************************

Olm: …somewhere, amidst all the glories of the multiverse, there is a human who will attempt to fit samples of every item on the Cheesecake Factory’s menu into a blender. It cannot be otherwise. There is at least one human who is doing that right now, in fact, and who will not believe me when I tell them that they will accomplish nothing more impressive than developing a severe case of indigestion at the end of that ill-advised quest. In light of that, I hardly see what the point is to informing you all that drinking fear will also probably give you indigestion, but take my word for it: there are much finer emotion-beverages out there. I’m rather partial to flow states, myself.

Calli: …welp, guess that explains why I’ve been struggling to write for the past two years. Also, Goliath is not gonna be happy about Bill’s picture there….

Olm: And I also look perfectly presentable in a bow tie, thank you very much. If I want to. It tells you a lot about an entity when he does something like claim allegiance to a style of formalwear so recently developed by one species that it might as well be a single particle in one atom in the shortest, thinnest thread of the Great Tapestry of reality…and do let me know if you ever make plans to tell Cthulhu that last bit to his face, Billy-boy. I’ll make popcorn.

Calli: …what use do you have for popcorn? Your most common form is a salamander, and I'm told the next most common one has four faces, two of which are always screaming.

Olm: That still leaves me two faces which can be put to better uses even on days when I can’t be bothered to take a stable form that has teeth. Next question.

**************************************

Olm: Finally! Some reading material that doesn’t aggravate my cosmic migrai -

[Eldritch profanity ensues]

**************************************

Calli: …ok, I can’t lie, that last line...that one kiiiiiinda hurt. Was that really necessary, Ford?

**************************************

Calli: I hate the source, as you all know too well…but man’s got a point about the relative importance of magic tricks and who’s crushing on you in the vast majority of cases.

Olm: Ultimately, they both sink into the nothingness from which they came, never having accomplished anything important enough to be remembered more than a few centuries at the most...but if I must pick one, magic has certainly proven more useful than any of my assorted ex-spouses.

**************************************

Olm: I’ll grant my lying, backstabbing excuse for a sister this much - she never made anyone pretend to be happy about being in any of the afterlives she's presided over. That’s more our brother’s style… Of course, my sister also used keratin deposits from the corpses of her subjects to construct vehicles for one of Father’s schemes, so I suppose allowing the wretched creatures to look miserable really was the least that she could do...but Bill really is too annoying for any self-respecting hell. Perhaps they could deserve each other, but even I don't hate her enough to subject her to that.

**************************************

Calli: …why was the second page so much harder to read than the first one was in my hand mirror?

Olm: The mirror also reflects what it reverses.

**************************************

Calli: ...Ok, I already said it, but this book *really* needs to stop hitting so close to home...

**************************************

Olm: Ah, yes. That incident. Someone remind me to thrash him again sometime for that one. Such a mess to clean up, and Huitzilopochtli is still screaming....

**************************************

Olm: Ah...self-sabotage! Let me sprinkle a bit of that onto my popcorn.

Calli: Am I the only one way too excited to see Powers' agency's card here? To find out they knew about Bill? To find out that the U.S. government once physically captured Bill and took a blood sample??

Pity about the "Bureau of..." bit, though. It took forever to think up the DFSI and now I'm going to have to adjust to it being the BFSI, I guess, and that doesn't roll off the tongue nearly as well.

**************************************

Olm: Oh, of course he'd be tasteless enough to include a photograph of his chess set, mortals aren't even supposed to know that those exist....

Calli: I've written about your brother's. You also used chess metaphors to drop hints in Part III.

Olm: Neither of us is semi-canonical!

**************************************

Olm: I would call that an unusually flattering sketch of my brother, if not for Stanford's unawareness his existence and for his proximity to what appears to be some sort of...aardvark?

**************************************

Calli: Interesting that everything after the first one is dangerously close to some aspect of the truth...I'm gonna take this as a point of support for my theory that Ford really contacted Fiddleford about the Portal less because he needed the technical expertise than because he knew on some level that he was in deep trouble and was practically screaming for help without even realizing it.

Also, I love the fact that Ford is trying to solve potentially prophetic dreams with fridge magnets.

**************************************

Calli: Fun fact! I spent so long looking at charts of alchemical symbols in an attempt to make sense of that row of them inside the front cover that I was actually able to recognize those two in the center of Nightmare Bill's pupil there. They mean..."Vinegar" and "Distilled Vinegar II." No idea why they're there, but that's what they mean.

**************************************

Calli: ...well, at least I've never been arrested for public intoxication and/or committing indecent exposure at a Mexican restaurant. Whenever I feel bad about myself, I guess that I'll always at least have that now.

Olm: He probably hasn't, either. You'd have to ask Zozo to be sure, as I was asleep at the time, but I very much suspect that he is lying. Do you really think something with a bounty like his on its head could just stroll into a multidimensional bar? Or, for that matter, that any even semi-mortal authority could hold him for six hours against his will?

Calli: ...Ok, fair. Especially since the blood in the milkshake machine makes it seem pretty unlikely that he somehow forgot his powers when the cops showed up.

**************************************

Olm: He'd be welcome to my uncle, but he's been dead long enough that I don't think he's coming back.

Calli: I thought you said that you didn't cross the line between hating your family and hating your family enough to subject them to Bill?

Olm: I said that I don't hate my sister enough to subject her to Bill. My uncle, on the other hand...he wasn't nearly as bright as his reputation might lead you to think, my uncle. If he had been, I imagine he would have been more familiar with the idea of self-fulfilling prophecy….

**************************************

Olm: ...He's perfectly capable of speaking normally, you know. The rhyming couplets are just to obfuscate and frustrate and confuse. Though I don't think I can blame all of these on him...'Upstairs' is not a concept that makes much sense in his domain, and the rhymes themselves acknowledge that he…no longer exists inside of space.

**************************************

Olm: And so a god is reduced to a mental patient. A sad old story, that one, but inevitable from time to time....

Calli: ...yeah, yeah, great, but what's this 'Puppet Hour' thing? Why is it in all-caps like that demented "show" Bill made for Ford? And why's the doctor apparently part of the Axolotl cult? This is all a bit unnerving and has a lot of story potential!

**************************************

[eldritch-spouse]

Rinx and cute human auction host with impeccable sense of humour 🗣️ hear me out while I'm drunk again

just ✨imagine✨ – some closed auction with very specific-and-unique stuff, aimed on some narrow monster audience. Why human is a host here? She kinda... wanted a job not in McDonald's, but luck wasn't on her side – at the end, it is what it is. She started to make small talks with visitors and crack jokes around only to escape her fate as an auction lot. To her big surprise and happiness, visitors found feigned confidence believable, as well her humour sharp and dark enough for their twisted tastes, but not too belittling or offensive to hear from a mere human.

More so, she grew popular in this small community. Now she's cheeky and brave enough to talk back to some especially rude visitors– It's still a joke to everyone tho. Laughing stock of the day usually gets too embarrassed to come on her twice and audience can be ruthless.

But huh??? At some totally normal day here's more people than usual??? Regulars looking especially nervous for some reason???? And her boss is suddenly disappears after some lameass short unreadable message about "special guest"?????

Huh. Strange. Well, whatever, business is business-

Guess who got in the playful sarcastic bullshittery with some giant broccoli head first and now sweating bullets cuz that dude is just... Buys everything? Every-single-fucking-lot???? His bets are so high for a quite literal trash sometimes, is he insane???? She knows who is it from the first bet honestly, but she keeps repeating for her own sanity that it's some obsessive cosplayer.

And at the end of the auction he refuses to leave and makes a ridiculously small bet on "the charming host".

She jokes herself the way out only because she was so – well, she tells to bring and show her some fucking lost artifact from a rumour that was popular million years ago if he wants to buy even a minute of her time. "No more, no less," she says and leaves, pretty sure that she won this.

Even if her knees are shaking behind the curtains after a realisation it was fucking Greed Icon, she still believes that she can outplay him.

***

She's in pure panic and loss of words because she ran out of options and bets are getting insanely high. She thought he was playing and that he will get bored after getting a handjob (it was just a pin at first, she swears!!!), but on their last meeting he told her to get ready for a wedding. G666gling "WHTAT SHOUDLG I AKS FOR PKEASE HELP BITCH HAS EVVRHYTHIN" isn't helping at all.

Rinx loves how well-educated about valuable things she is, how good she's in jerking him off– and it's funny to see how she's sweating as she tries to decline his gifts and fails miserably. Truly, this game was fun while it lasted, but now? Now he wants a Queen.

That's all for today- hope exams wasn't going hard on u and ur amazing brain wrinkles my dear fella Pinnie we can get through 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️

[Okay but the best part of this is "G666gle". I fucking love that.]

Oh it wouldn't be the first time Rinx gets excited and tries to take literally everything home, that's why the most well-known auctions around Hell are made with lots of care and many prepared speeches as to why the hosts, staff and other personalities present cannot be given/traded/bought.

Does this stop Rinx? No, not really.

You have his curiosity the same way Admin holds his curiosity. Humans are easy to take, easy to claim, easy to keep. To see you play such a dangerous game yet always come out on top makes you even more valuable in the demonlord's (lack of) eyes.

You don't have the option of declining anything Rinx gives you, be it a box of chocolates, roses, the most expensive outfits you could think of, or a ring that he'll slide into your finger with a crushing grip of your wrist.

[munson-blurbs]

@corrodedcoffinfest Day 29: Behind the Music

Word Count: 625/Rating: T/Pairing: None/CW: frustration, rockstars/Tags: Eddie Munson, Gareth, Grant, Jeff, Hellfire Club, DnD

Divider credit to @silkholland

“This is bullshit!” Grant crumpled up a sheet of paper and tossed it towards the trash bin, missing by a mile. “I give up.”

Eddie tried mustering up something motivational, but he felt the same way Grant did. The only words in his notebook were fuck you, written fifty times over. 

“How are we supposed to write a song for the label when they don’t know what they want?” Gareth complained from his seat on the couch. He lowered his voice to a mocking tone. “Nothing romantic, but nothing about break-ups. Make it angry but not enraged. Sing about real issues, but don’t make it political.”

Jeff snapped his notebook shut and dropped it on the carpet. “If they don’t like our stuff, they should just write it themselves.”

“They offered,” Eddie muttered, a reminder and a warning. That ‘offer’ was more akin to a threat: the execs knew that Corroded Coffin writing their own songs was a huge part of their brand. If someone were to write for them…

“Well, I’m not writing another song just for them to turn it down,” Gareth quipped. 

Grant peered over at Eddie’s paper and grimaced. “Looks like our fearless leader isn’t having much luck, either.” He chuckled, scratching at his five o’clock shadow. “I can’t believe this is from the same brain that used to bust out insane campaigns in, like, a day.”

The other two band members laughed along with him, but the comment made Eddie pause. Without another word, he bolted to the filing cabinet and rifled through the contents until he found what he’d been searching for. 

“Gentleman…I think I found our solution.”

Jeff squinted at the marbled cover. The words “PROPERTY OF EDDIE. YOU READ, YOU DIE!!!!” were written in red, bold letters, tucked between doodles of a twelve-sided die and Satan himself. 

“Is that…?”

“Sure is.” Eddie flipped through the pages. He hadn’t played DnD in years, not since the band really took off. It was hard to keep a game going on the road. Still, he kept his old campaign notebooks securely stored in his penthouse apartment, like they were precious artifacts. 

In a way, Eddie supposed, they were. 

“The label doesn’t just want a song—they want a story.” He kept the book open to one of his best campaigns yet. “What if we use some of these as inspiration?”

“You think the label cares about druids and bards and demogorgons?” Jeff asked incredulously. 

Eddie shook his head. “No, but they do care about betrayal. Namely, trusting someone to do your dirty work and they back out at the last minute.”

“Kas the Bloody-Handed,” Jeff said, his voice soft as his face broke into a smile of understanding. 

Gareth nearly leapt out of his seat. “What if we write it so, like, people start off sympathetic, but when we get to the end, it’s revealed that the narrator has been the villain the whole time?”

“That’s why they call you Gareth the Great!” Eddie clapped a hand on his friend’s back.

“It probably wouldn’t hurt to get back into DnD,” Grant mused. “Just for, y’know, inspiration purposes.”

Eddie laughed. “Inspiration purposes, huh?” He tapped the eraser end of his pencil on the notebook. 

“C’mon, Eddie!” Gareth urged. “We can break out our old Hellfire shirts.”

“What say you, Eddie the Banished?” Jeff asked. “Care to reprise your role as Dungeon Master.”

Rockstars playing a nerdy fantasy game? Eddie supposed it wasn’t the biggest contradiction he’d ever heard, but it was certainly up there. He took a look at his bandmates, their eyes pleading. 

“I say…” Eddie started, a mischievous grin twitching at his lips. “I say you Level One Dwarfs better get ready for the most sadistic campaign of your lives.”

--

[twignotstick]

Mud Dogz - How to be Homeless 🏚️

Warnings (if there's anything I should add here, tell me please!): homelessness (as if that wasn't already obvious), eating thrown out food, violence involving children, fire, happy ending [More spoilery tags at the end! This story doesn't get too dark, but read at your own risk!]

Words: 7,440

Summary: Eight year old Daniel Tesseau, who would one day become the infamous Dastardly Danny, runs away from his family after finding out about their criminal business. However, living on the streets isn't as easy as he first believed. Can he earn the trust of an unlikely ally to survive?

Notes: This is the first fic of my Mud Dogz AU! The goal of this AU is to expand on the many questions left unanswered by the Hidden City in ROTTMNT, specifically following the lives of the Mud Dogz before, during, and after canon. I hope you enjoy!

----------------------

For the first time in his life, Daniel Tesseau had no idea what he was doing.

He had done all the research he could. He read countless books, even some from the surface. He had packed his bag to the brim with filling, easy to carry food and other necessities.

And yet, only a week after running away, he had no idea what he was going to do.

He knew that, in the end, this would be better than staying with his family. He didn't want to be what they wanted him to be. Ever since, two weeks before his great escape, his mother had told him about what he was destined to become.

He had known that his family was composed of powerful mages. He, himself, was one. He knew that they specialized in enchanting artifacts. They had a nice shop, too! He just hadn't known about their underground dealings with one of the most dangerous people in the Hidden City, and their history of selling dangerous things to dangerous people.

When his mother finally showed him the terrible, besmirched inheritance he was set to overtake, and set to start involving himself in scarily soon, he knew he had to leave.

So here he was. three weeks after his world fell apart, one week after he left his broken world; sitting in an alleyway, contemplating whether or not he should try dumpster diving.

Daniel knew he needed to eat. He could potentially go for longer without food, but he had already proven that his reaction time and street skills weren't the greatest in a less than fortunate encounter with some birds. If he didn't keep his body in the best shape he could, he wouldn't stand a chance on the streets.

He glared at the dumpster like it owed him money. The smell was utterly awful to Daniel's heightened senses, but he knew statistically that there had to be something salvageable in there. It just might take some… digging. The thought made him want to gag, but his stomach was too shallow to risk that.

“Why are you in my spot?”

Daniel flinched at the voice that appeared at his side. He looked over to see a green skinned yokai around his age with a large nose and unkempt, black hair. He had a strip of light blue fabric struggling to keep the hair from his face, and a tank top seemingly made of the same material. A pair of baggy brown pants hung around his waist, held up by a piece of rope tied into a sloppy knot slipped through the belt straps. He had a single tusk showing through his grimace.

“Dang, with ears that big, you'd figure you hear me fine.” The green yokai leaned down to get closer to Daniel's eyeline. “What are you doing at my dumpster?” He asked, slowly emphasizing each word.

Daniel's eyes widened and he struggled to stand. “O-oh, is this your building?” He stuttered. “I can go if you-”

“No, it's not my building. It's my dumpster. Now go away before I make you.” The yokai grabbed the lid of the dumpster and flung it open, leaning over to dig around inside.

Oh. So he had the same idea.

Daniel watched the kid, obviously already experienced in this, open a trash bag and start digging. He threw a good amount of napkins to the side before coming up with what he was looking for.

A greasy pizza crust.

He took a bite and glared back over at Daniel. “Well?” He asked, raising a bald eyebrow. “I said scram. Go back to whatever rich people convention you came from.”

Daniel looked down at his clothes. He had almost completely forgotten that he wore some of his most comfortable clothes when he ran. He had a purple sweater vest over a soft off white undershirt, and his most casual dress pants. He basically didn't own anything less fancy.

“I didn't come from a ‘rich person convention’. That isn't a thing. You sound stupid.” Daniel crossed his arms and stared back at the boy.

The yokai's eyebrow rose higher. “Why are you here, then?”

Daniel rubbed his heel into the floor, deciding what information he should tell this complete stranger. “I'm… on a mission. From my family. T-to prove my worth without my magic.”

“Here?” The boy questioned, leaning back into the dumpster to dig out another crust. “This place is the pits. Why would you come out here?”

“B-because it's the best place to prove myself, obviously!” Daniel tensed his shoulders, seriously contemplating jumping in the dumpster to find anything to get rid of this terrible hunger in his gut. “It's better to prove yourself in a tough situation, not an easy one.”

“You don't look like you're ‘proving yourself’ that good. You look like a runaway.”

Daniel's ears flipped up and his tail straightened. “I-I'm not a runaway! I didn't run away! You can't prove that! O-only stupid kids run away from their family!”

“Woah, man, chill out!” The kid backed out of the dumpster to better look at Daniel. “I'm a runaway, I get it.”

Daniel sucked in a gasp. “Oh.” Daniel dug his heel harder. “Sorry. I didn't mean that. Runaways aren't stupid.”

The yokai laughed. “Eh, it's alright. We're all a little stupid.” He glanced from the dumpster back to Daniel. “Are you hungry?”

Daniel grabbed his tail to fidget with. He nodded just a bit, looking away.

“Here!” The yokai reached back into the dumpster and tossed a pizza crust into Daniel's hands. Daniel fumbled to catch it, but managed to do so. “I'm Leonard.”

Taking a small bite of the slightly stale and weird smelling crust and holding back a pout, Daniel responded, “Thank you.”

Leonard watched Daniel uncomfortably eat. “Y'know, when someone tells you their name, you should usually tell them yours.”

Daniel quickly finished the crust, forcing himself to swallow the last of it. The aftertaste wasn't great, but it was good to have something more on his stomach. “Uh,” he mumbled, “I'm Daniel. Daniel Tesseau.”

“Daniel? Cool!” Leonard walked over to him, stopping just a bit away. “Why'd you run away?”

“None of your business.”

Leonard's face flattened at the sudden aggression. “Oookay.” He looked Daniel over before gasping. “You're like, a literal street rat!”

“Wha-” Daniel scoffed. “I'm not a rat, I'm a yokai. Just like you are. I'm just a rat-like yokai. What kind of yokai are you supposed to be, anyway?”

“I'm an ogre. Obviously.”

Daniel squinted at him. Sure, he had the green skin, the pointy teeth, the offensively big nose, but something was wrong.

“Why are you so skinny, then?”

Leonard puffed out his chest and crossed his arms, pushing his biceps to make them look bigger. “You're one to talk! Y-you look like you can't even lift five pounds!”

“Anyone can lift five pounds.”

“Nuh-uh.”

“Yeah-huh!”

“What about babies?”

Daniel paused. “Okay. You have a point. But I'm not a baby. I'm almost eight.”

“Hey, me too!” Leonard grinned. He glanced back at the dumpster, then at the sky. “I should probably get going. I've got something I need to do. Seeya around, Danny!”

“It's Daniel.”

“...uh, okay. Bye ‘Daniel’.”

“W-wait!” Daniel held up a hand just as Leonard started to turn to leave. “Uhm,” he swallowed, “how long have you been a runaway?”

Leonard took a second to think, scrunching his face. “Uh, I think I was almost six? So…a year?”

“...that's two years.”

“Oh! Guess I lost track of time. Two years, then.”

Daniel took in Leonard's appearance one last time. He was skinny for an ogre, sure, but he still had a good amount of muscle mass. He looked like he ate well. He looked (relatively) clean.

He was experienced.

Daniel breathed deeply. “Well, Leonard, I hate to ask this of you, but I must admit to my desperation. I have only been… a runaway for a week, and I've discovered that I do not yet have the skills required. I need help learning just how to survive out here without the aid of my magic, as I refuse to use it.”

Leonard squinted. “Are you…” Leonard chuckled. “Are you asking me to teach you how to be homeless?”

If Daniel wasn't covered in fur, his face would have become flushed. The twitch in his ears and tail was telling enough. “N-no,” he stuttered, “I'm just asking you to help me learn how to survive on my own without my magic.”

“Or your parents?” Leonard asked slyly.

“...yes.”

“Or your rich people house?”

“...yes, Leonard. I'm proving this to myself. Now will you help me or not?”

“Hmm..” Leonard leaned back on the alley wall, rubbing his chin. “How about this?” 

Daniel looked up, his attention fully taken.

“I have a scheme to pull tomorrow. Tomorrow night, same time, meet me here. I'll tell you the details then. If you swear to help me pull it off, then I will promise to give you my money-less wisdom.”

Tapping his toe on the ground, Daniel weighed his options. He could accept Leonard's offer and possibly be getting into way more trouble than he bargained for, or he could refuse and possibly die because he doesn't know how to… be homeless.

Or he could just go home.

“Okay.” Daniel stood straight as he could. “I'll help you enact this… scheme that you're planning. But you have to help me.”

“Sounds good to me!” Leonard patted Daniel's shoulder, causing him to flinch and grab his tail again. “I'll see you tomorrow then, Danny!”

“It's Daniel!”

Leonard was already prancing away.

----------------------

When Leonard returned to the dumpster the next night, he found Daniel standing with his heel dug in the dirt and his tail twisting in his hands. He was side-eyeing the dumpster again, glancing side to side intermittently. Leonard approached more comfortably this time, making sure to make a little noise.

“Hey Daniel!” Leonard greeted. “You ready for the coolest thing ever?”

“Hello, Leonard.” Daniel tried to gather himself and swung his tail behind him. “Uh, I guess? I don't think a ‘scheme’ is exactly the coolest thing ever…”

“It will be!” Leonard almost ran forward to grab Daniel's arm, but stopped when he heard a grumbling sound from Daniel's stomach. He looked Daniel up and down again, asking, “When did you eat last?”

Daniel mumbled something, grabbing his tail again subconsciously.

“Huh?”

“Last night.” Daniel spoke louder, obviously upset by the fact.

Leonard's eyebrows furrowed as he frowned. “Do you not like digging in there?” He asked, pointing to the dumpster. Daniel shook his head.

Leonard stood up straight. “That's alright, I'll do it for you!” He jumped onto the dumpster and tossed the lid open, talking as he started to dig. “There's a group that always throws their crusts away that comes once every week. I think they came in yesterday, but I still might find- oo, jackpot!” He hopped back out with a half eaten slice of pizza in his hand. “This works, right?”

Leonard took the way Daniel's eyes lit up hungrily as a “yes” and handed the slice over. Daniel almost took a bite before pausing and ripping the slice in half, holding one half to Leonard. “Oh, I ate before I came,” Leonard said. “You go ahead.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah! You need it more, anyway.”

Daniel started eating, mumbling a “thanks”. Once he was done, Leonard grabbed his arm, shouting, “Come on, I'll fill you in on the way!”

Daniel nearly tripped over his own feet, but eventually the two boys fell into stride. He still felt very uncomfortable about using his talents to help a total stranger, but it was better than going hungry. Leonard tried to make some small talk, but nothing seemed to land right. When they were closer to their destination, Leonard started getting to the point.

“Alright Dan, you're a man with a plan, right?”

“Daniel.”

“...okay. Daniel, you're a maniel with a planiel, right?” Leonard rephrased condescendingly.

“I would say so,” Daniel replied, equally condescending.

Leonard sighed heavily. “Well,” he started, “there's a shop over here that's got a big exchange going on. I want to try to take some of the moolah from right under their noses. I've seen them do exchanges before, but I don't know exactly how to get the cash. Got any ideas?”

Daniel slowed a bit. A robbery? He needs to steal money to earn this kid's trust?

Well, correction.

He needs to steal money to get this kid to teach him how to be homeless.

“...well,” Daniel said, “I'd have to scope out the place first. But if we can somehow make our move during the exchange, then we could have an opening to take some… ‘moolah’.”

Leonard nodded along as he explained the vaguest plan he had ever thought up. “Do we know what they're exchanging?” Daniel asked.

“Nope,” Leonard said bluntly. “She sells meat, though. Mostly fish.”

“Do you know the owner of the shop well?”

“She's some bird yokai, I think. Not too old, so she's probably not blind or whatever.”

“Okay,” Daniel nodded, “and the other party involved?”

“Dunno. She gets stuff from a couple different groups. I've been scoping the place out for a while, and I think I've seen her trade with, like, eight different people?”

“So we have to be ready for anything?”

“Basically. But she always brings the meat and stuff inside and sets it on a table before bringing the money outside, so if you can come up with a good plan, it'll be a breeze!”

Daniel slowed their pace a bit, rubbing his tail in his hands. “Where does the exchange usually happen?”

“At the back door. And there's not really any good windows into the back room where the cash is, I've checked. The building's sorta… split in two.” Leonard tried to illustrate the floorplan with his hands. “It's like, one big room for the shop, and a smaller room where she does all the meat cuttin’. And they always park their big mounts in the back to unload.”

Daniel nodded in understanding. “Okay. So all we'll need is a good spot to wait, and then a good opportunity to slip inside. And then… I guess we'll figure out the way out from there.”

“Sweet!” Leonard pumped his fist. “Slip in, grab the cash, slip out, profit!”

Daniel grabbed his tail tighter, looking to the side to hold in a smile and a giggle. “I guess.”

“Great! Well, here's the spot!” Leonard said, holding his arms out in a grand gesture. They were standing before a shop that could easily be recognized as a butchery, with many advertisements for various meats hanging in the windows. There was, as Leonard had previously mentioned, an emphasis on Hidden City seafood. In addition, there were ads for more exotic, hard to find forms of seafood. It was easy to assume that those were the kinds of things that required a late night exchange.

The storefront was closed, and there was a thin alley that allowed for access to the back. Leonard sidled into it, keeping his back braced to the store wall. Daniel, hesitantly, did the same.

The area behind the building was basically what Daniel expected. The space was pretty open, obviously to make space for any mounts or vehicles carrying heavy cargo. The back of the shop was nothing interesting, just a single door with a few steps in front of it. There weren't even any windows.

Leonard looked over at Daniel, waiting for him to speak. The yokai in question met his look with an exasperated one. “This isn't much to work with.”

“Well, it's what you got.”

“Do you know anything about the inside?”

“...it's a fish store. There's a door behind the desk that goes to the back.” Leonard pointed at the closed door. “That's the back.”

“Do you know what the back looks like?”

“I think there's, like, a table in there. I've never been in there before.”

“So you're useless. Great.”

“Hey, you didn't think I was useless when you asked me for help!”

Daniel was adequately silenced by the accusation. 

He turned back to look at the space, noticing a small movement above. The movement got closer, forming into the shape of a large flying creature. It looked to be a dragon-like creature, though on the chubbier side, and seemed to be turning around in the air. Tailing behind it was a carriage, with the back corners being held up by two gargoyles. As the dragon turned and put the carriage facing where Daniel and Leonard were, it became obvious where they were landing.

Right behind the butchery.

The boys ducked down out of sight behind a trash can. The carriage landed slightly before the dragon, both with loud thuds. Daniel could feel the rumbling of the dragon's throat in his chest.

There was the sound of a latch opening in the carriage, and two tall, muscle-covered yokai, who had the features of bulldogs, came through the doors of the carriage. The gargoyles who were previously lifting the carriage flew inside the open doors. One of the bulldogs was wearing thick rubber gloves and carrying something. A strange chittering noise was coming from it.

The back door of the shop opened shortly after, and a bird yokai walked through. The bird was feminine, with bluish black and gray feathers and light blue eyes. Her hands and feet bore sharp talons. She wore black pants and a matching black jacket, with an apron hanging over her front.

The bird yokai looked mildly upset by what the taller bulldog yokai was holding. “What is that supposed to be?”

“Your catch,” the yokai grumbled, dropping what he had on the ground forcefully. The chittering became eerily childlike screaming.

On the ground, writhing from the force he had been dropped with, was a very small eel yokai. He looked so young, nearing infantile, and the sounds he was making were some strange mix of chittering and squealing. He was orange and a light teal, with freckles across his snout, spots on his body, and short, teal fins. Leonard and Daniel had to cover their mouths to keep from gasping and revealing their location.

“Can it,” the shorter bulldog growled, as he stomped on the eel's tail. The eel squeaked loudly from the impact, but his squealing quickly lessened to whimpering.

“This isn't what I sent you to get,” the bird yokai stated calmly. “I wanted three adults.”

“There were only two adults there,” the first bulldog grumbled, “and they put up more of a fight than you warned us about. Mari’s been knocked out for four hours. So give us our money.”

“Money?” The bird yokai laughed lightly. “That thing's a baby, it hardly even counts as one. I told you to get me three.”

“We risked our lives for this one, Koya!” The dog stepped forward, stepping on the eel's tail and making it scream again. “We aren't leaving until we get paid!”

The bird, Koya, tried to respond, but the eel kept screaming, slamming his fins against his attacker's foot. His screaming reached a peak, and a bright flash and loud zap emanated from him. When the light died down, the dog yokai was curled on the ground, and the eel was desperately pulling himself away, crying weakly.

Koya stepped up to the crying child and looked down on him scornfully. With hardly any effort, she reached down and grabbed the eel's tail, holding him up in the air. He had no more energy to fight, so he just dangled there like a wet rag, panting and shaking. Koya glared into him.

“You will get paid half,” she said to the yokai on the ground, not looking away from her prey. “500 unicorns, that's it. And you should thank me for being generous.”

The bird slowly walked into the building and to a tank filled with water, just barely visible from Daniel and Leonard's perspective, and dropped the eel in, watching it steadily drift to the bottom. His eyes were half lidded. She turned around and walked back out of the building, kicking the shaking bulldog still on the ground. “Get away from my shop before I change my mind.”

The second bulldog yokai helped the first stand up and walk back to their carriage. The gargoyles reemerged and the dragon flapped its wings, lifting the carriage into the sky and away. Leonard and Daniel made sure they hid completely. Only after the shop door shut behind Koya did Daniel realize.

“No!” He whispered, grabbing his ears. “We totally lost our shot!”

“‘Lost our shot’?!” Leonard hissed. “That's what you're worried about?”

“Well…” Daniel hesitated. “...yeah? You said-”

“Yeah yeah yeah, I said I'd help you out if you helped me, but there's bigger problems now!” Leonard started leaning around, searching for some other way to look inside. “This isn't just a freaky meat shop anymore, they're kidnapping people! We need to get that kid out.”

“Woah, that's way more complicated than just grabbing some money and leaving!” Daniel grabbed Leonard's shoulder to get his attention, earning a somewhat intimidating child's glare. Easily the scariest one he'd ever seen. “You said you'd help me if we could pull off a robbery, not a rescue mission.”

“Well, now I won't help unless we can pull off a rescue mission,” Leonard pressed snidely. “And if you don't help, I'll save him myself.”

Daniel scoffed at the disrespect. “You lied!”

“No I didn't! I just…” Leonard contemplated for a second, then sighed. “Things are different now. We can't just do nothing. That's a kid, he looked younger than us!”

Daniel shut his mouth to think. He needed Leonard's help to live on his own, but this was a big job. It would require making a whole new plan, and figuring out another way in.

“Please, Daniel.”

Something stirred.

“Fine,” Daniel conceded. “But only if you promise to help me regardless of if we actually save the kid or not.”

“Deal.” Leonard spat on his hand and held it out. Daniel stared.

“I'm not shaking your gross spit-covered hand.”

“You want me to be honest? This is me being honest.”

“You're being unsanitary.”

“Ugh, what is up with your-”

The sound of a door opening stopped their arguing abruptly, and Leonard grabbed Daniel to pull him back into their hiding place.

“EW!” Daniel screamed, as quietly as he could.

“Oh, get over it! I think you'd per-fer a little germs over getting tossed in a cage!”

“...it's pre-fer.”

“Ugh.”

Koya stepped out of the door again, holding a trash bag. She tossed it to the side of the door, on top of a couple others. She then re-entered the building, shutting the door behind her once more.

After a couple seconds had passed and the boys were sure the bird was gone, they crept out again. Looking at Leonard and feeling safe enough to stop whispering, Daniel said, “I trust your word this time. No need for gross spit pacts.”

“Basically just did one.” Leonard smirked.

“Nope, nuh-uh, not thinking about that,” Daniel said, wiping his arm clean and using just a little magic to be sure.

“Yeah, sure,” Leonard said, rolling his eyes. “You got a new plan?”

Daniel rubbed his chin in thought. “When does she usually get deliveries like this?”

“Every couple days, but she's stocked up good right now, so it'll probably be a while.”

“He might not have that long…”

“W-what?!”

“SHH!!” Daniel rushed to cover Leonard's mouth and push him further into hiding, glancing over his shoulder to make sure no one saw them.

“Sorry, sorry, what do you mean?” Leonard asked, lightly pushing Daniel off.

Sighing, Daniel loosened. “When I peeked at the inside, she had display tanks for live fish, and a separate display for dead fish.”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“Why do you think she has a separate tank in the back? With nothing in it? That tank is for the stuff that's about to be dead.”

Leonard looked almost offended. “You really think she's gonna kill him, just like that?”

“What else would she do? You do know that birds eat fish, right?”

“You think she's gonna eat him?”

“I don't know, maybe she owns a butcher shop!?”

Leonard backed up a bit. “You have a point.”

“Of course I do, I always do,” Daniel mumbled. “Whatever. Look, the point is, if that kid is going to stand a chance, we need to get into that place pronto. And, unless bird lady feels like taking out more trash, the backdoor isn't an option anymore.”

Leonard scrunched up his face uncomfortably, obviously trying to make him look like he was thinking more deeply than he truly was. “Maybe we could just… go through the front?”

“Oh yeah, go through the front,” Daniel said. “In case you've forgotten, the shop's closed. We can't get in until she opens up again in the morning.”

“We aren't supposed to get in…” Leonard said, walking around the building with Daniel close behind. “...but maybe we can!”

“I just-... I just said we couldn't. Are you- are you not listening to me?”

Leonard stepped out onto the sidewalk and stood proudly with his hands on his hips. “We just need a disjunction!”

“...distraction.”

“That's what I said!”

Daniel sighed and pressed his palm to his forehead, looking over at Leonard. “And just what did you have in mind, genius?”

----------------------

“This is a horrible distraction.”

“You're just jealous that I came up with it and you didn't.”

“There is nothing to be jealous of! Why do you have a jar of bugs?!”

“They're not bugs, Danny-”

“Daniel.”

“-they're pixies. They wreck stuff for fun! All we have to do is wriggle through the window, hide in a corner, and let ‘em loose.” Leonard held up the jar of fidgeting fairies. It was nearly the size of his head, and the pixies within were buzzing around rapidly. There were maybe thirty in the jar, but it was hard to count with how fast they were moving.

“And just how did you come to have these pixies?” Daniel questioned.

Leonard moved the jar to hold it under his arm. “I caught them trashing my place. There were like, a ba-jillion of them then, but I was only able to catch these ones.”

“Don't most houses have anti-pixie protections? They shouldn't have been able to get in in the first place.”

Leonard scoffed, mumbling, “Maybe they wouldn't have if it was a house,” and walked up to the slightly ajar window. He obviously hadn't intended Daniel to hear, but with the rat’s keen ears, he did. A slight pang of guilt shocked Daniel's chest, but he did his best to brush it off.

Leonard pushed the window slightly further up, making a good enough opening. “It's a tight squeeze, so don't get your tail caught, street rat,” Leonard mocked as he lifted himself in through the window. It took some shimmying, but he was able to drop down on the tile floor inside with a quiet grunt, picking himself up with his arms.

“Okay, I deserved that.” Daniel hefted himself in the window as well, a little more gracefully. The inside of the shop was scarily silent, though sound could be heard from behind the back door. It sounded like Koya was cutting through something, her knife repeatedly hitting a cutting board. “Where are we hiding, Leonard?” Daniel whispered.

Leonard surveyed the room, his eyes landing on an empty shelf behind the counter. It was just big enough for both of the boys. “Let's go there, fast.” He ushered Daniel over to the spot, simultaneously starting to unscrew the lid of the jar. The pixies became more excited at the possibility of freedom, and were ready to cause problems.

Once Leonard was sure he and Daniel were properly hidden, he released the pixies. They quickly started filling the shop with pink light, knocking things over and attacking the dried meat still left on display. Daniel pulled Leonard further into the shelf instinctively as the noise in the shop became louder. The squeaking laughter of the pixies was grating on the ears.

The backdoor opened with a slam and Koya stepped through, holding a slightly bloodied knife in one hand. She squawked at the sight of the fairies trashing her store. “Wh- How did you get in?! OUT!” She started swinging her knife at the pixies in a fruitless attempt to cut them down. They only laughed louder and started pulling at her feathers.

Leonard and Daniel eyed the open door and looked at each other, nodding. Quickly but quietly, the pair slunk into the back, away from the aggressive bird.

Finally being able to see the entirety of the back room, they took note of the table to their left with meat piled on it. A small oil lamp sat on the corner, illuminating the space where Koya had been working before. With a tightness in their chests, they looked to the tank they'd seen before; sighing in relief.

The eel was still laying at the bottom of the tank. He only looked half awake. When he saw the strangers enter the room, he tried to push himself backward, accidentally pressing his injured tail against the wall and choking on a yelp. It was hard to tell if he had been crying due to a lack of tears, but his eyes looked irritated. He had at least been rubbing them.

Maybe he just wanted to stay awake.

Maybe he was scared he wouldn't wake up again.

Leonard grabbed a chair and pulled it to the side of the tank, using it to pull himself on the edge and look down at the frightened child. “Hi, little guy…” he whispered.

While Leonard spoke with the yokai, Daniel busied himself with making sure the backdoor was ready for them to rush out.

“We're here to get you out, buddy,” Leonard assured. He put his arm in the water, shivering from how cold it was compared to the outside. “J-just grab my arm, buddy, then I'll pull you out.”

“Be careful,” Daniel pressed, getting Leonard's attention. “You saw what he did to that big dude, imagine what he could do to you.”

“He won't, I know it.”

“How?”

Leonard looked back down into the frightened eyes of the eel, seeing all the innocence and fear in them. He was broken, both mentally and physically. He didn't have a clue what was happening.

“...I just do.”

Leonard reached his arm down further into the tank. The eel looked at his hand, examining every finger. After an endless stretch of maybe 10 seconds, he scooted forward slightly and swam up in the tank, flinching from the pain it caused in his tail. He reached out both fins to Leonard's hand-

-and grabbed on tightly, allowing himself to be lifted out.

He yelped as soon as he hit open air. Koya was still occupied, so it didn't really matter, but the pixies’ laughter was dying down. They needed to get out of there. 

Leonard dropped off the chair and lowered the kid as slowly as he could, holding under his armpits. His tail hit the floor somewhat heavily, making him wrap his arms around Leonard and stuff his face into his shoulder to muffle a scream. “It's okay, it's okay, it's okay, we're getting you out, we're gonna keep you safe, just hold on,” Leonard consoled hurriedly.

Unfortunately, the kid was a little bigger than expected. He was thin, but his tail- while not adding to his height at all- made him a little heavier than Leonard could easily handle. Leonard tried to grab him where he assumed his waist was to get him into a princess carry, but his skin was too wet to properly grab.

Daniel was listening closely to the sound from the other room, keeping one eye on the door and one eye on Leonard scrambling. The struggle beyond the wall was nearly gone. “We need to move, now.”

Leonard grit his teeth. “Well, a little help would be nice!” He growled.

Daniel sighed, hurrying over to help lift the eel's other end. He had begun making those chittering sounds again. It sounded like he was trying to ask questions.

The boys finally got the eel off the ground and started moving to the exit.

“What do you think you're doing?”

Koya stood silhouetted by the doorway, the knife brandished in her hand. Her eyes held nothing but discontent. The boys stared, stunned in place.

“Let go of my PROPERTY!” Koya screamed, moving forward.

Both boys felt a surge of electricity through their arms. Not enough to knock them out, but just enough to send them falling backwards. The eel flopped to the floor between them, squealing and sobbing.

“Little freak,” Koya hissed, walking over with purpose and grabbing the eel's tail to dangle him above the floor again. “Thought you could call in some favors, did you?”

The eel yokai screamed.

“Let go of him!” Leonard pulled himself off the ground, still keeping a few feet of distance to stay away from the knife in the bird's hand. Daniel was still on the floor, shaking more from fear than the shock.

Koya laughed. “You don't have a clue what's going on, do you?” She clutched the tail tighter, grinning down at Leonard. “You're so cute. You don't even know who this kid is, and yet you're risking your life for him. You don't even have the common self preservation to run when you have the chance. Your rodent friend seems to understand how much danger you're in.”

Leonard looked at Daniel behind him, who looked ready to bolt.

“And you,” Koya said to the eel, holding the knife closer to him, “you will behave. You'll thank me for my generosity. I'm saving you from having to live that pitiful life with your pitiful-”

Ears rang with the strength of the blast.

A burst of electricity, blinding every soul in the room.

Emanating from the eel.

Once they were able to properly see again, Daniel and Leonard found Koya lying on the ground with her knife knocked just out of reach and the smallest flame on one of her feathers. The eel was laying on the ground again, close to motionless. He was breathing heavily, and his eyes were fighting to stay open. Mostly losing.

Leonard ran over to the kid. He grabbed his shoulders and tried to lift him up again. “You're gonna get out of here, okay? That was so cool! I can't wait to see what else you can do!”

The eel whimpered a little in response. Without him trying to help, he felt a lot heavier.

Daniel was still frozen. He couldn't bear the thought of moving any closer. Even though Leonard needed help. Even though the threat was on the ground, unconscious.

Not unconscious.

He watched as, unbeknownst to Leonard, the bird rose on her elbows. She shook as she reached out and grabbed her knife. She leaned over Leonard and held the knife high.

Something stirred.

Daniel ran to grab the lamp off the table.

“WATCH OUT!”

The glass of the lamp shattered as it slammed into Koya's shoulder. The small flame that had been on one of her feathers from the blast quickly caught the oil that spilled. She screamed as she tried to bat the fire out, but only caused it to spread.

Leonard was the one frozen in place now. Daniel, filled with adrenaline, slapped him on the shoulder to bring him back to the land of the living. With tight breath, Leonard picked up the eel in a princess carry like he'd been trying to before. Both boys, with their rescue, ran out the door to escape the spreading flames.

They didn't stop running until they were blocks away.

----------------------

“He's still not waking up?”

“N-no,” Leonard wheezed, hefting the body in his arms up again. Their adrenaline had faded, and it was becoming increasingly harder to hold him up. “B-but my place isn't too far! We can lay him down when we get there.”

“Let me,” Daniel said, gesturing for Leonard to put the eel down, to which he gladly complied. Sighing, Daniel conjured the magic within him to lift the eel above the ground.

“Woah…” Leonard stared in awe. “But, didn't you say-”

“-that I didn't want to use my magic anymore, to prove I could live without it?”

“...yeah?”

“This isn't for me.” Daniel smiled at the boy floating in front of them. “It's for him.” His smile dropped a bit as he glanced to the side, mumbling, “And you too, I guess. Cause you clearly couldn't carry him anymore.”

“I coulda!” Leonard refuted, before dropping into a calmer state again. “But… thank you.”

Daniel just smiled. He kept a close pace behind Leonard as he directed Daniel to his place. Apparently, this “place” was a garage. Leonard had to put a lot of effort into lifting the large door open, but he did, and he let Daniel pass with the eel. When Daniel got inside, he was genuinely a bit shocked by what he found.

The garage was dark until Leonard pressed a button on the floor. The button was attached to a string of fairy lights that were strung all around the room. Leonard ran around the garage, flicking on lamps and other small lights. He was climbing over pillows, blankets, and avoided running into a sofa that sat just to the side of the center of the room. There was a cooler to the right, plastic battered and broken in spots, but still effective. To the left, on a rug, piles of paper and pencils. Most of the paper was just crinkled posters, flipped to the back so they could be written on.

In the back of the garage, there was a metal tub. On the side, an embossed design of a pumpkin surrounded by three apples. Sitting beside it were two buckets.

“Can we put him in that tub?” Daniel asked as Leonard flicked on the last lamp. “It might help him heal faster.”

“Oh, uh,” Leonard looked back at the tub. “I should probably change the water first. I used it a couple days ago.”

“How long will that take?”

“Ehhhh, five minutes?” Leonard held his hand out in a shaky gesture. “I have to go out to the fountain, cause all the other water nearby is nasty.”

“Try to go fast. We don't know if he's okay to stay out of water for long,” Daniel said as he laid the eel on the sofa.

“Got it!” Leonard ran and grabbed the buckets by the tub, lifted the garage door again and ran out with a bucket in either hand.

Seeing nothing better to do, Daniel sat up on the sofa with the eel. To fit nicely, he had to lay the boy's head on his lap. He noted then that the eel was shivering a bit, his face scrunched up and jaw grinding. Daniel placed one hand on the eel's chest, and used the other to rub his head. He lightly pushed the teal fin on top to the side, and the eel started to relax. He unconsciously rolled his head so he could rest against Daniel's stomach.

“...you're going be okay. I promise. Me and Leonard are going to take care of you. We're going to make sure you get better. Then we'll figure out where you came from and bring you home.”

He sat and comforted the eel until Leonard came back, signaled by a knock on the metal garage door. Daniel gently slipped out from under the eel and helped hold the door open while Leonard brought the buckets in, full of water. Leonard tipped the tub over, emptying it of all the old water as it drained into the grate in the center of the garage. Daniel found it interesting how perfectly everything was arranged in the room, making sure nothing got wet when the tub was drained.

After Leonard tipped the tub back upright, he emptied both buckets into it. “Do you think it should be hot?” He asked Daniel.

Daniel thought for a moment. “Lukewarm, just a little. He's cold now, and we don't want to hurt him or shock him with hot water.”

“Lukewarm,” Leonard confirmed, getting a nod. “I can do that. Give me a second-” Leonard reached into a bag that was sitting near the wall, pulling out an orange and red mushroom. Daniel felt the mystic energy from it immediately.

Leonard dropped the mushroom into the tub, and it started to glow and dissolve. Daniel looked with a curious expression, which Leonard noticed. “I found a patch a couple months ago where they grow,” he explained. “They make water warm. I usually use a couple when I want a warm bath, so just one should do the trick.”

“...cool,” Daniel whispered as he watched the glow fade, the mushroom fully dissolving. Remembering who it was for, he reached into the tub to check that the temperature was good and used his magic again to lift the eel over to the tub, slowly lowering him in.

“...cool,” Leonard mirrored, watching the sparkles of Daniel's magic dissipate.

“He should be okay to leave there,” Daniel spoke. “He was breathing the water before, so we don't need to worry about keeping his head up. We should keep an eye on him, though. Try to be here when he wakes up, so he knows what's going on.”

Leonard smiled. “Sounds good to me. You can take the couch, I'll be on fish duty.” He started gathering blankets and pillows to put next to the tub. “It's late anyway, so we should sleep.”

“W-well, I-” Daniel hesitated. He didn't want to leave the kid alone, even if he was with Leonard. He wanted to make sure he would be okay, with his own eyes. “-I don't think I can trust you with making sure he's taken care of properly when he wakes. I have to be on fish duty.”

Leonard snorted, seeing through Daniel's excuse. “Alright, how bout we both do fish duty. Your loss on the couch, though, it's really comfy.”

“Yeah, sure,” Daniel said, grabbing some pillows before stopping and looking up at Leonard wide eyed. “Uhm, is it okay if I grab these?” he asked shakily.

“Grab whatever you want,” Leonard chuckled. “Just don't touch the food or the paper. And make sure you set up on this side. In case you didn't notice, that part of the floor is still wet.”

Daniel nodded, grabbing what he could and avoiding the wet spot on the ground. He ended up right next to Leonard, laying on some discarded decorative pillows and a blanket with a clumpy, itchy texture. He hadn't seen anything better, but he was hating the way the blanket grabbed on his fur.

Leonard watched him uncomfortably try to settle before speaking. “Hey, how about you grab that blue bag over there? It's got some mouthwash and water bottles in it. You can go outside and spit it out in the alleyway. And… I dunno, pee probably, cause I don't want you peeing on my stuff in your sleep.”

“Wh- I wouldn't pee on your stuff!” Daniel sat up and walked over to the blue bag Leonard had mentioned. “But I will do as you said, for the sake of sanitation.”

“Thanks,” Leonard said as Daniel went out. Without an audience, he walked around turning off lights, grabbing a small battery powered lamp to keep by the tub.

He leaned over the tub. It was hard to see inside it, but he could still make out the shape of the eel. The eel that they had saved. No- the boy they had saved. The boy who almost had his life put in danger, that he and Daniel had saved.

Daniel had saved Leonard's life too.

Putting one hand into the water to rub the eel's head, Leonard whispered, “You're going to be okay. Whenever you wake up, I'm gonna be here for you.” He paused, thinking, then continued. “Danny's gonna be here for you, too. We'll make sure you're loved, and safe, and you can do whatever you want with your life. I promise.”

Leonard laid back down, tucking himself in. And if he had switched his own comfortable blanket for a clumpy, itchy one, no one would complain.

○●○●○●○

Spoiler warnings: kidnapping, black market trade, dehumanization

This fic will (hopefully) be the first of many. I've had many ideas for the Mud Dogz, as well as other new characters for them to meet! I hope that you will stick around to see everything these funny little guys will get up to. :)

[rlyc00l]

BL2 AU: Rhys travels to Pandora for a simple job: take a train to Lynchwood, pick up an artifact, return to Helios. Only, he finds himself unwittingly caught in a trap that wasn't meant for him. Now stranded on Pandora alongside six Vault hunters, he has the choice between fighting Hyperion alongside them or dying horribly. Lucky for him, Handsome Jack is always looking for opportunities. All Rhys needs to do is a little bit of spying, maybe a teensy bit of sabotage, and then he's home free with a huge promotion and maybe like ten turbo-mansions. The Crimson Raider cause is doomed anyway, and Rhys is a pro at ignoring his conscience. Not that there's much conscience to ignore when you're betraying a group of murdering Vault hunters. At least, he's confident he won't have any internal conflict about screwing over that selfish jackass of an assassin.

Hey guys I went ahead and uploaded the first chapter of a fic I've also been writing alongside P0is0ned. This is one where I try to be CONFIDENT and not be a perfectionist. So I might update it a little more frequently? I mentioned this idea before but I think it would be interesting to have these two meet when they are both at their worst. Zer0 before discovering the magic of friendship and a Rhys who totally buys into Hyperion bullshit. (Also, I like writing the BL2 Vault hunters in general and IDK I just wanted to write about BL2 I have a lot of thoughts and headcanons.)

EDIT: As ff.net is perpetually broken, the chapter's also under the break!

———— The train was mostly empty when Rhys boarded, aside from the Hyperion soldiers that boarded at the same time as him. Rhys had offered them a cheery greeting, and been mostly ignored as the soldiers filed back into another car, somewhere behind them. One had stopped, asked him “You sure you’re in the right place?”

“This is the train headed to Lynchwood, right? Jack sent me on a job down there.”

“Yeah, well, keep your head down. Stay out of the other cars,” the soldier said, before following the others.

Technically, Jack hadn’t sent him, Vasquez had. But it was always better to invoke Jack’s name, and Jack had given Vasquez the job. Vasquez had simply passed it down to Rhys, and no one outside of Security Propaganda knew who the hell Vasquez was. If you said a job came from Jack, no one questioned it. No one except Vaughn and Yvette. 

“Are you sure Vasquez isn’t just sending you down to die on Pandora?” Yvette had asked as the three took their lunch break the day before. 

“It’s a peace offering! He knows I’m a threat, so he gives me the prestigious-yet-inconvenient job so I feel like I owe him. If he wanted me dead, he’d throw me out an airlock.” 

“I dunno, Rhys,” Vaughn said, mouth still half-full of hamburger. He swallowed. “He’s thrown a LOT of people out of airlocks, they say at a certain level you reach your allotted murder-limit. Now, send a guy down to the death-planet…” 

“Yeah, seriously, Rhys, you know there’s a war going on down there? And the entire planet is populated by bandits? And man-eating monsters?” Yvette gestured with her fork as she spoke. “Is he even giving you a gun or something?” 

“No, Yvette, because I won’t need a gun. I looked up the route, it’s extremely safe. I’ll mostly be on a Hyperion train, there will be soldiers guarding it, it’s fine.” 

Now, watching Pandora pass out the train window, he was feeling pretty confident that his reasoning had been accurate. He’d boarded at a Hyperion military post in the Highlands, its lush green landscapes a far call from the wastelands heaped with trash featured in propaganda videos. By now that green had given way to barren desert, but still not a single bandit in sight. At one point the train passed a pack of oversized skags, and later he was pretty sure he saw a body, but maybe it had been a weird rock. Ocassionally there were remnants of Atlas and Dahl’s failed attempts to colonize the planet. Broken-down buildings, being retaken by the elements. Obviously those two hadn’t thrown enough resources at the place. Jack was going all the way. Yvette would probably note that he’d be safer if he shuttered the window, but hey, it wasn’t often he got to see an undeveloped alien planet, and the glass was probably bulletproof. Rhys was starting to get the sense that Handsome Jack had ensured that Hyperion’s propaganda greatly exaggerated Pandora’s general awfulness–not that he blamed him. How else was he supposed to convince the investors? Not to mention it was a fantastic motivator for the workforce. Still, Rhys was almost disappointed. He’d wanted to see something impressive, have some good stories for when he got back to Helios. This place was just a lot of empty desert, ripe for development. At some point, the monotony lulled him to sleep, head propped against the window. The glass was cold when he woke suddenly. Outside, the desert was gone, replaced by ice and snow. It took Rhys a moment to realize that the sound he was hearing wasn’t the train, but nearby gunshots. Gunshots that didn’t fade out at the train moved. Well, shit. 

He shuttered the window, hunkering down between the seats. It had to be a bandit attack, bandits were no match for Hyperion soldiers. Just had to wait it out. 

Yvette had given him a stun rod before he’d gotten on the shuttle. “It’s better than nothing,” she’d said. He clutched it now, wishing she’d hooked him up with something more powerful. 

Minutes passed, and the shooting went on, accompanied by indistinct yelling. Still, no one boarded his car. He wondered what bandits would do to him if they found him. They didn’t have a reputation for letting people live, except to torture them. Maybe, if Rhys stayed here, waited to unleash the stun rod until the last second, he could catch them by surprise. Then it was a matter of getting a gun from one of them, diving back behind the seats (Were those bulletproof, too?), and taking down the rest of them. They’d be lined up, it had to be easy, right? He hadn’t ever touched a gun, but they didn’t seem that complicated. Right?

His planning was interrupted by a deafening boom, and the next he knew he was flying through the air. He hit the ceiling, hard, and he knew nothing more. 

It was dark when he woke, cold, hurting all over, and tasting blood. Part of him was afraid to flick on his palm flashlight, so he first tried to take stock mentally. He could only hear his own breathing, now. The gunshots had stopped. He wasn’t sure what that meant for him, but he was starting to realize that the train had crashed, or been derailed, or something. Which, maybe meant he didn’t have to worry about bandits anymore? Or, they’d be in at least as bad a shape as he was. Hopefully.

That led to the question of how bad a shape he was actually in. Okay, first, the blood taste. He ran his tongue around his mouth, finding the place he’d bitten the fleshy side, hard. Well, at least that wasn’t gonna kill him. His face stung, but in the carpet burn way, not the “there’s shrapnel imbedded in your cheeks” way. He had an agonizing headache, but maybe this was one of those times where you’d worry more if it didn’t hurt. His ECHOeye seemed alright, at least. 

Fingers checked out, both flesh and cybernetic, though when he tried to make a fist on the flesh side he found himself letting out a string of profanity. Fine, okay, he hurt his wrist. No big deal. His cybernetic arm was fine aside from an ache at the connection point, he wouldn’t be helpless. His legs were good, at least. And his torso…Well, it sort of hurt to breathe, which wasn’t ideal. 

Better get it over with, then. He turned on the flashlight and sat up with a groan to get a better look at himself. Sure enough, his wrist was swelling, and bruises were starting to form all over, but there wasn’t even close to as much blood as he’d expected. So, yeah, he probably wasn’t in immediate mortal peril. 

He turned his attention to his surroundings. In front of him were the rows of seating, the entire car had fallen sideways and he was sitting on what had been the wall. Snow drifted in from some broken windows above him. He realized how cold he was, now. He hadn’t packed much of anything, it was supposed to be one night, he’d counted on there being a Quick-Change machine.

Okay, fine, Rhys had seen all those border planet survival shows, you had to be proactive in these kinds of situations. First, figure out where he was, maybe find one of those soldiers, if they’d survived. He rose, broken glass crunching under his feet as he walked unsteadily across the car until he found the roof hatch. It only opened part way when he turned the handle, getting caught on the snow bank the car was half-buried in. It was a little brighter outside the car, a combination of Elpis’s light and a number of small fires revealed silhouettes of the train wreckage.  

He had to wriggle and clamber his way out, managing to get snow up his sleeves and down his shirt before tumbling down the bank into a foot of snow. 

As he pushed himself up, he found himself facing a…glowing blue line? His eyes followed it up to the hand that held it, and the strangely featureless owner of that hand. He blinked, taking a moment to put it together. 

Oh. A sword. A bandit holding him at swordpoint. 

He barely managed a “D-don’t.”, knowing he should probably beg for his life. He was finding he didn’t have the energy for begging, though. Snow was already melting through his pants.

The bandit leaned in closer, not taking the sword from his neck. The light of the blade reflected on the dark surface that should have been their face. A helmet with a dark visor, Rhys realized—or maybe they were a robot, but they seemed to be shivering too, just a little. 

“You are no soldier.” Their voice was deep, nearly monotone. “But you are Hyperion. / You have ten seconds.” “Ten…? F-for what?” He started to rise without thinking, only to be prodded by the point of the sword. 

“To explain yourself. / Jack had someone set this up. / You’re the last one here.” “Look, I…I don’t know what you’re talking about. It’s freezing, my head’s killing me, can we just…Not do this?”

They prodded him again. 

“I-I mean, I was here for a business deal. I didn’t…” 

The figure lowered their sword. A red, glowing “:\” appeared in front of where their face should have been, and Rhys found himself wondering if he was hallucinating this entire thing. “You got on the train / Meant as a place of slaughter, / Just by accident?” 

Slowly, things were coming together. God, if he survived this, he was gonna never live it down. “I swear, I-I had nothing to do with this, I was told to get on this train, take it to Lynchwood. I was supposed to buy an artifact.” 

The emoticon was replaced by a question mark, but they lowered the sword. Rhys didn’t move, lest he provoke them. “Get up, or you’ll freeze,” they said, turning away. They limped as they walked. 

By the time he was on his feet, they were gone, only leaving footprints and an occasional spot of blood. He hesitated. Helios hung indifferently above him, framed with curtains of green auroras. He could just find one of these little fires and sit down next to it for however long it lasted, and hope for rescue. Except, a middle manager didn’t warrant a rescue, once the fire was out he’d just freeze to death. That, or Pandoran wildlife would get to him first. 

Following that stranger might mean being stabbed, but maybe they knew where to find shelter. He got up, and followed their prints with his palm flashlight, hoping the snow wouldn’t bury the trail before he caught up. 

He passed smoking wreckage and the corpses of soldiers. Wind bit at him as he walked, and he held his vest close, for whatever difference it made. Snow clumped up on his socks and the bottom of his pants, even as he tried to step in their prints. He tripped and stumbled a few times, there was trash everywhere, much of it hidden beneath the snow. 

Just when he was starting to resign himself to a cold death in a frozen trash heap, he saw distant lights. As he neared the word “Welcome” lit up one letter at a time, over and over. Again he wondered if he was hallucinating. Was that a symptom of hypothermia? But the footprints continued in that direction, joined by more tracks. Other survivors. 

As he got closer, he found that the sign was outside a structure built of snow and defunct Claptrap units. He opened the door. There was a short hallway, built of ice and more dead claptraps, and ending in a warm glow. Fire. 

He came out into a low-ceilinged room with six people and a broken–but still functioning–Claptrap. Before he could process exactly what he was looking at, five of them were pointing guns at him. 

He held his hands up, trying to inch towards the blazing furnace. “Please—Please don’t kill me. I-I-I–just, I’m trying not to free-freeze to death.” 

His eyes found the one who’d threatened him earlier, they were the only one who wasn’t pointing a gun at him now. But they didn’t come to his defense, either. They only watched him, arms crossed. Or, he assumed they were watching him, they could have just as easily been intently ignoring him. 

When nothing happened for a moment, he took the last few steps to put himself near the fire. It was hard to care about getting shot when you were so goddamn cold. There were at least six dead bodies already beside the fire, but he couldn’t make himself care about that either.

“That’s a Hyperion uniform.” The speaker was a Dahl soldier–marked by metal implants in his brow. He cocked his gun.  

“I uh, I’ve got nothing against Dahl,” Rhys tried.

That earned him a snort. 

Right, yeah, they’d all arrived at the same conclusion as the first one. “I had nothing to do with that, with the train, I-I was being set up to die back there, just like you.”  

“What’s happening?” The eyeless claptrap demanded. “I can’t see–!” A high-pitched bleep censored out the last word.  

“The mortar meat is too stringy! Where’s your pain stick?!” The masked man who looked straight out of Jack’s anti-bandit propaganda waved his gun as he spoke, then lowered it suddenly and gave a shrug. 

“Big guy’s right, he’s obviously not a soldier,” the blue-haired woman said, following his lead. Her tattoos matched her hair, and his first thought was “siren”, which almost seemed too absurd, out of six in the universe, why would one be here, in this weird corpse-shack? 

“Neither is Jack, and I mean, look at him,” said the pigtailed redhead, making a wide gesture at Rhys with her robotic arm– a much more primitive model than his. She looked too young to be here, he was pretty sure that was a high school uniform. 

“I uh, I don’t have the kind of power Jack does, even if I wanted to kill you? Could-could you at least put down the guns, for a second?” His head hurt too much to be dealing with this, he just wanted to sit down and relax for a minute or two. “That Claptrap is a Hyperion robot, right? Arguably more Hyperion than I am. And considerably more annoying.” 

“FORMER Hyperion robot!” the Claptrap addressed the wall. “Jack discontinued and destroyed my product line! I am a free robot now!” 

“I saw we kill ‘im already. The guy, not the robot.” The short, weirdly muscular man spoke up. “Then get this bullymong.” 

“You’re actually going to kill an unarmed man just for a label on his shirt?” the maybe-siren asked. 

“Yeah, really? I-I have… several broken bones, too, I think. If that makes any difference. And, if I uh, if I had anything to do with this, I definitely would have avoided hurting myself this bad.” He looked to the one with the helmet, pleading. They’d seen him in the snow, they’d judged him innocent.

“Hurry and decide,” they said, not even turning their head to look at him. “I am eager to move out. / And kill Handsome Jack.” There was something strange about how they talked, Rhys was realizing. Measured, concise, short… 

“What, you wanna freeze to death out there?” the soldier asked. “I’m not heading out until morning.”

They crossed their arms, a  red “:\” passing over their visor. “Fine.” 

“Oh come on, you already decided not to kill me, earlier! Could you at least back me up?” 

This time they did look at him. “I have no stake, here. / And you are clearly dead weight. / You’re doomed regardless.” 

“Your bones are made of toothpicks and my molars are SPOTLESS!” 

“Yeah, alright, good point, I think?” the soldier said.  We can always shoot him later, right? Once he’s earned it.”

The short man shrugged. “Yeah, whatever.” 

“Fine,” the redhead said with a yawn. “If he kills any of you in our sleep, that’s not on me.” 

At that, the group dispersed throughout the shack, finding comfortable spots, as if Rhys were suddenly of no more importance than one of the corpses by the fire. The maybe-siren hung back for a moment. 

 “Here,” she said, handing him an insta-health. “If you try to screw us over, I will liquidate your brain with my powers.” Okay, definitely-siren, then. “But for now, I’m not big on killing unarmed men.” 

“Thanks.” He took the syringe, feeling strange about using a random needle on Pandora, insta-health or not. Still, he was in enough pain to jam it into his arm, gritting his teeth as bones realigned. “So, uh, hi. I’m Rhys.” He offered his freshly healed hand and his most charming smile–he’d better ingratiate himself with these people, fast. “I guess we kind of got off on the wrong foot, thanks for uh, sticking up for me.”

She looked at him, then at the hand, but didn’t take it. “Maya,” she said. “And I can’t say the others were entirely out of line, considering who you work for.” “Worked for. I think trying to blow me up was Jack’s way of firing me.” Always better to invoke Jack’s name. “Might have been a little too vocal in criticizing his policies on Pandora.” He’d heard of people who criticized Jack’s policies, Jack dealt with those hands-on, but bandits didn’t know that. 

She raised her eyebrows. “Well, good to hear. Perhaps you can do something worthwhile, now.” 

“Worthwhile, like?” 

“Tomorrow, we hunt down the bullymong that tore Claptrap’s eye out. Supposedly, he can get us into Sanctuary. We’re going to kill Handsome Jack.” 

[thecreaturecodex]

Hesperid

Image © Paizo Publishing. Accessed at Archives of Nethys here

[I was not expecting Paizo to make a specific fey based on the Hesperides from Greek mythology instead of just making them nymphs, but I like it.]

Hesperid CR 9 LN Fey This humanoid woman has a radiant beauty, her hair and skin colors reminiscent of the light of a sunset. She has long pointed ears and no pupils, marking her fey nature.

The hesperids are fey creatures that guard areas of natural beauty in the mortal realm. They are tied to the setting sun, and their domains always include a good view of the sunset. Hesperids also guard other objects as well—treasures prized by the fey or druidic circles, or historical relics thought lost. These prizes are disguised as golden apples, often mixed with mere trash disguised the same way in order to thwart robbery. More powerful hesperids may guard magical artifacts. In order to defend their landscape and their treasures, hesperids will fight, using conjured sunlight like a druid wields a flame blade.

Because of their ties to the regular cycle of the planet’s orbit, hesperids have lawful minds. Other fey sometimes see them as stodgy, but also respect their reliability and even tempers. Hesperids get along well with most lawful outsiders, as well as bronze and gold dragons, and are stern opponents of forces of undeath. They recognize that darkness has its place in the cosmic order, but are most comfortable in bright lights.

Hesperid Boons and Banes (CL 13th, DC 23) The most likely boon a hesperid would give to a mortal would be a lesser treasure, typically exchanged for something more relevant to the fey, plus access to the hesperid’s healing magic. Still, some are charmed by mortal artistry, and give their blessings as patrons of the arts. Those who try to steal from a hesperid are sometimes cursed with permanent blindness.

Boon: The glow of the hesperid fills your heart. You gain a +1 sacred bonus to all saving throws, and a +4 competence bonus to all Craft and Perform checks. This bonus lasts for 1 week. Bane: You are permanently blinded. The blindness can be removed with remove blindness or a similar effect, but returns with the sunrise each day unless it is removed with a break enchantment, limited wish, wish or miracle

Hesperid        CR 9 XP 6,400 LN Medium fey Init +6; Senses low-light vision, Perception +23 Defense AC 23, touch 23, flat-footed 16(+6 Dex, +1 dodge, +6 deflection) hp 110 (13d6+65) Fort +8, Ref +14, Will +12 DR 10/cold iron Defensive Abilities unearthly grace; Weakness sunset dependent Offense Speed 30 ft., fly 60 ft. (good) Melee sunset ribbon +13/+8 touch (1d10+6 plus 1d6 fire) Ranged sunset ribbon +13 touch (1d10+6 plus 1d6 fire) Spell-like Abilities CL 13th, concentration +19 (+23 casting defensively) At will—daylight, veil (DC 22, self only) 3/day—cure critical wounds (DC 20), quickened glitterdust (DC 18), searing light Statistics Str 11, Dex 22, Con 19, Int 18, Wis 19, Cha 22 Base Atk +7; CMB +7; CMD 36 Feats Alertness, Combat Casting,Defensive Combat Training, Dodge, Quicken SLA (glitterdust),Toughness, Weapon Finesse Skills Acrobatics +21, Bluff +21, Climb +15, Diplomacy +21, Fly +25, Intimidate +18, Knowledge (geography, local, nature) +19, Knowledge (arcana, history) +16, Perception +23, Perform (any one) +21, Sense Motive +23, Stealth + 21 Languages Common, Sylvan, Utopian SQ golden apple Ecology Environment any coastal or hills Organization solitary or enclave (2-6) Treasure double standards Special Abilities Golden Apple (Su) As a standard action, a hesperid can transform any object of up to 10 cubic feet of material into a golden apple weighing 1 pound. This lasts until the hesperid dismisses the effect as a standard action or if the item has spent 24 hours outside of the hesperid’s bonded location. Sunset Dependent (Su) A hesperid is mystically bonded to a location that has a good view of the sunset under ideal conditions—cliffs, islands and valleys are common sites. A hesperid that leaves this area, or who is not outside when the sun sets in that area (even if she can’t see, or if weather hides the sun), takes 1d6 points of Constitution drain per day. A hesperid can bind to a new location with a 24 hour ritual. Sunset Ribbon (Su) A hesperid can conjure a ribbon of sunlight as a swift action, and dismiss it as a swift action. With this ribbon, she can make melee touch attacks as an attack action, or may snap it like a whip as a standard action to fire a ray up to 180 feet. Regardless of how the hesperid uses it to attack, the sunset ribbon deals 1d10 points of slashing damage modified by the hesperid’s Charisma modifier and 1d6 fire damage. Undead, or other creatures with negative energy affinity, take an additional 1d6 points of damage. Unearthly Grace (Su) A hesperid gains her Charisma modifier as a deflection bonus to AC and CMD.

[reesespieces-org]

Dottolone Bad Habits

Warning! Contains eating disorders. Reader discretion advised.

Everyone has a bad habit. Nail biting, gossiping, lying; we all got 'em. Some are harder to get rid of, others are more easy.

A bad habit that Pantalone has revolves mostly around food. Due to living in poverty until his adolescents, eating is one of those things that he forgets he can do now, without the worry of money or not having enough for another. When he does remember "Hey, I can eat whenever I feel like it," he doesn't go for extravagant foods like caviar and wagyu; he prefers the street foods he used to see other kids his age eat frequently.

But even when he eats those same savory jiaozi he saw other kids eat, he's still a bit food conscious. Hiding the wrapper beneath other trash, waiting until someone else has finished eating before eating himself, eating very little at a time; it's a terrible habit, he knows. But he can't help it, no matter how many times he tries to break the habit, he feels an odd sense of guilt and discomfort. What if the person didn't have enough food and he needs to share? What if someone less fortunate than him was watching him eat, wishing they could be him and eat the same food he did?

Dottore thinks this habit of his is ridiculous at times—he's the richest man in all of Teyvat, he can be selfish with his money and possessions, so why is food any different?—but he makes an effort to try and encourage Pantalone to break it. He indulges in the banker's bad habit in a more backhanded manner; he won't eat until Pantalone starts, then he follows suit. Pantalone has mixed feelings about this. He appreciates it, as he is eating more than he normally would, but he isn't quite sure if this is solving the issue entirely. But Dottore is making an effort, he thinks, so he will indulge in the Doctor and his weird antics.

Dottore himself isn't exempt from bad habits. As productive as he is, multitasking is a bad habit that he unwilling to break and is fueled by his need for distraction. Sure, he gets his projects done, but his mind is constantly running and goddamn is it exhausting. But for some reason, breaks are never an option for him. He's constantly doing something with his hands, if he isn't busying himself with tasks that make him use his head, he gets agitated. The only time he truly sits idle is when he needs to be in a professional setting. But when he's in his lab? Everywhere and anywhere, no matter what. The difference between him and his clones is that exact quality; he's constantly moving, while his segments are able to stick to one task. Why? Dottore doesn't quite know either, but he could care less. They get their work done and that's all he cares about.

Pantalone often finds himself holding Dottore's hands down in his lap from tapping on the table or acquiring some kind of object that could appease his restlessness. He's quieter that way, and he doesn't mind when Dottore traces the shapes on his rings to try and commit them to memory. He also frequently buys puzzle boxes for Dottore to solve during meetings, which more often than not has a rare artifact that Dottore can play with in his next experiment.

Quite an interesting duo, no?

[silverorchideon]

They called me a kid with a cardboard face;

Pencil a smile or frown, then erase.

More Hermit Safety Hotline AU art! And, thanks to friends, every Hermit, Empire, and Life Series member (barred the ones not working at the Hermit Safety Hotline Agency) has a pest to deal with!

However, if you have an idea for any Minecraft YouTuber, please do share! I'll put a list for the creatures we haven't used yet, and I'd prioritize that list, but I wouldn't mind any duplicates!

Anyways, Grian has canonically gotten his face stolen by a mirror nymph) in this au, way before he turned into a Watcher. He never got his face back, and just marked up eyes onto his face to give something to look at. (Note that, even if a mirror nymph steals your face, it does not stop you from speaking, eating, seeing, smelling, or anything like that. You just don't have a face to see now).

After he became a Watcher, the eyes, when penciled on, blink and react with emotions as if they were real. They still come off if you wet it, but his eyes can glow if he uses glow ink. Same thing with a mouth if he decided to draw one on.

Anyways, list of creatures we did not use!

Animation

Attic Gnome

Autumn Vines (technically)

Bed Bugs

Bed Hag

Bees

Black Mold

Boggart

Carbon Monoxide

Carpenter Ants

Cellar Grotto

Cellar Growths

Closet Labyrinth

Cockroaches

Fae Feast (technically)

False Artifact

Fracture Hobb

Frozen Pipes

Gopher

House Fire

House Fly

House Spider

Laundry Gnome

Leprechaun

Mole

Night Gnome

Pipe Growth

Pipe Hobb

Pooka

Soap Sprite

Spriggan

Sprig Tree

Termites

Ticks

Toilet Hobb

Trash Gnome

Troll