#same for peter but this post isnt about him for once lol

[koskela-knights]

Ngl besides Peter never posting anything AW2 related I also don't see Melanie post anything. Now, I never followed them at the start/ release so maybe they posted stuff back then on their Insta stories but nowadays nothing. Meanwhile, others, including David Harewood, continue to post BTS stuff, clips from the official Remedy and AW Instagram etc.

Just makes me wonder if Peter and also Melanie had less positive experiences both during production and post-release. With Melanie, I can sadly imagine that racism and misogynoir might’ve played a role :/

Given the fact how loud bigots have been about Saga’s character “turning” Black and all 🙄

I feel Remedy could and should have taken a firmer stance to protect their actress besides some employees saying they never intended Saga to be White.

And honestly, Remedy isn’t the only company that has failed to protect its BIPOC cast against the vicious racist backlash. Think of any Disney remake that added a more diverse cast and the shitstorm those actresses (and actors) have gotten while Disney fills their pockets they barely put any resources into protecting their cast.

I see it sorta bleed into the Remedy Discord server as well.

While overall, the conversations there have been okay to positive, (i mean there are shipping and fanfic threads lol) there have been occasions of hateful trolls and racist remarks. Mods should act accordingly to trolls that have been spewing racist and sexist bs. During a Remedy livestream, some mod even invited a racist commenter into the server to discuss things further. Discuss what? Don't feed the trolls. Block and report. Inviting those kinda folks and not banning them and instead trying to go into arguments, you only signal to others that this kind of behaviour is okay/acceptable enough.

It also makes fans like me feel less welcome or safe.

[silenthillmutual]

Would u ever analyse/write about peter bipolar stuff bc i see so many ppl psychoanalyse daniil but i just want to put the stamatins in a lab and examine them anyway i saw ur peter daniil bingo thing and i think manic depressive peter is so real and we should spread the word and there isnt enough peter content maybe daniil can b there too so yh what do u think about petrs brain ??...... umm im a little weird from many painkillers but i hope this makes sense

bipolar peter ask part 2 -- but also i think p1 petr is so different from p2 peter kind of a bigger different than most other characters   [[like peter1 is still consumed by his vision and a pretty wizard and insane utopian but p2 peter is more tired disillusioned ready to be a dilf]]]  so  like man they might need to be separated if analysed  but anyway hes got problems  ❤️

soooo i am trying to answer this for the second time. tumblr’s new ask formatting kind of fucked up when i tried to insert the few screenshots i thought explained peter’s mental state. so here’s peter thoughts... 2!

i don’t really have the screenshots required to make a lengthy meta post about peter’s mental health issues on the scale of my daniil & autism analysis - though i doubt any analysis i write will quite surpass that - and even less for classic peter, but i do have a few thoughts.

i think a lot about peter’s state of mind because he’s probably my favorite utopian. which isn’t to say that i dislike the others (except georgiy), but peter holds a special place in my heart because i really relate to that depression he’s got going on. i like to think of peter as bipolar type ii, because the depression seems more pronounced. i also think it’s a good balance with andrey, who i hc as having bipolar type i. in contrast to peter’s depression, andrey has the irritability and impulsivity of a manic episode (i mean, he’s walking around without a shirt while there’s a sentient plague outside. shout out to everyone who’s walked around in the freezing cold in tank tops and shorts because they were (hypo)manic)

Peter: We don’t see eye to eye, the Judge and I. He argued taht the Tower was never their family’s crowning achievement... merely mine. And I concur. It was my crown. I’ve hit the ceiling...

i know the tower’s creation and existence is the source of much speculation and i’ve seen and liked a lot of what i read that people have had to say about it, the role it plays in the story, and the role it plays in peter’s depression. but i think it’s also fair to read it as something he may have created and feels he can’t replicate because he was hypo/manic at the time and has since crashed. once while hypomanic i was writing 5k a day like it was nothing, and when i finished the project and the episode i became overwhelmed with grief, like i would never write again. i think this hypothesis is supported by the fact that he and andrey obviously have created many fantastic things - they reference the dancing bridge and i think the other two are the cold hall and the house house? it’s late so lol if i got the names wrong - so clearly those unfinished stairways are not all there is. and he’s inspired again when he temporarily has custody of grace, so clearly he can and will create again, with or without the polyhedron.

Peter: You know, old boy, I was never persecuted for my genius. Nor was I prosecuted for murder. And yet, it turns out all this was my hell after all.

Voice line: Life is a night at the bar. All the wisdom you gain, you pay for in pain.

i think one of my friends w bipolar suggested that the way he interacts with his creations hints at psychosis, but that's something i'd be ill-equipped to discuss as i don't experience psychosis. his paranoia that farkhad and andrey are mad at him, though...

Peter: I wonder how long my tower will hold. I wonder if Farkhad forgave me... if Brother is angry with me... I wonder about many things.

this screenshot isn’t exactly proof of anything, but he definitely seems wrapped up in mistakes that he’s made in the past in a way that feels familiar. at some point in time all the mental illnesses become inextricable, but there’s a lot i’ve felt i’ve lost to the bizarre shit i’ve done while strugging w bipolar disorder and i think the regret is real. not to mention the significant comorbidity of bipolar disorder and anxiety disorders. and the high rate (70%, according to this) of comorbidity between bipolar disorder and substance use disorder

Peter: A lot. I have to quit drinking, but I don’t have any willpower left.

peter clearly has a lot less faith in his potential for recovery and it makes me wonder if he’s tried to get sober before and failed.

also i tend to mash my characterizations together when writing fic because i look at the two games as accompaniments of each other - especially as we only have one route of p2 so far. but i do think p2 peter seems slower and sadder than classic peter. i think they’re different symptoms of the same illness though... maybe when i get around to replaying bachelor route i’ll take more screenshots of peter and formulate more thoughts on his mental illness but boy. he’s got it.

thank u for the ask!! i love talking n thinking about this kinda stuff.

[gebtoons]

my contribution to the bapo timeline discourse bc i’m just gonna propose a timeline and will not be taking criticism <3 (under the cut bc this is gonna be a long post probably) 

ok disclaimer I am quite stupid, however I’m gonna use my knowledge from my own 12 years in american public high school and what little info I have about american boarding schools/catholic schools that I have from my friends lol. so. idk. 

i’m also gonna date songs/major events and i’m gonna be taking some “just trust me bro” liberties bc y’all are right it does NOT make that much sense. 

January 6: Epiphany; this is like an actual holiday lol. like its always on the sixth. idk its good that this is the starting point bc its an actual date yknow? For the purposes of this timeline were going with that its early in the week, so lets go with Monday idk

January 6-13: You and I, Role of a Lifetime; so we’re all kinda in agreement that this timeline (at least the beginning) only really makes sense if you and i/role of a lifetime aren’t like. a singular moment and are instead multiple days. so yeah, of this first week, this is like. monday-next sunday ish yknow. 

January 14: Auditions, Plain Jane Fatass; ok so having auditions for a spring musical right after kids get back from break actually makes perfect sense to me, like i can see it being like “ok take break to prepare so as soon as you come back we can have auditions so we can jump right into rehersals” yknow? and since the rave is clearly on a friday (”we’ll meet in tanya’s room on friday night”) so i’m going with the monday before.  

as for pjf, i know it doesn’t make a ton of sense for them to get a two week late birthday package their first few weeks back from school, but hear me out it makes sense. the implication throughout this entire show is that the twins have decently shitty parents. from bits of dialogue (in this song in particular lol) i’m kinda inferring their the “only concerned with how their kids make them look to others” kind of neglectful. so I don’t think it’s too outside the realm of possibility that they went away for the holidays, didn’t bring the twins, and instead mailed them a birthday package and having it show up two weeks late. realistically the timing of this isnt that important and the explicit “two week” time frame could’ve been an exaggeration on nadia’s part to mock her shit parents (idk its in her character) basically ppl are a little two fixated on this imo but anyway. moving on. 

January 18: Wonderland, A Quiet Night At Home, Rolling, Best Kept Secret; a very agreed upon point in the timeline. its the friday following the auditions. moving on. 

January 21: Confession; also very agreed upon. the monday following the rave. moving on again 

January 23: Portrait of a Girl; the date here is kinda arbitrary, but bc sister chantelle says “ok lets try to put yesterday’s rehearsal behind us” and i for the life of me cannot think of a scene she could be referring to (there’s none in the script either) that implies it wasn’t the same monday as confession (bc even in a boarding school i think holding extracurriculars that aren’t sports over the weekend (especially when they are no where near crunch time lol) is weird and not common) so i just picked a random day during the week

January 25: Birthday Bitch!, One Kiss, Are You There?; from matt’s line in wonderland, ivy’s birthday is a week after the rave. in my timeline that’s january 25th (an aquarius queen). 

btw given all grown up’s “17, how will i manage?” ivy is 16 during 17 at her party, which is strange given shes a high school senior and seniors are typically 17 during 18. so either a) she skipped a grade, not an unheard of thing. or b) shes not a senior, shes just a junior who hangs out with a bunch of seniors, which is also pretty common. and looking through the script i can’t find any mention that she is also a senior, other than yknow she graduates with them, but she isn’t mentioned during the class ranking scene? so idk not that it really matters just a fun detail 

February 3 (at night): 911 Emergency!; ok controversial. i know i like the joke about how its funny that peter having a weird dream when he was high prompted him to want to come out and really ruined his relationship with jason. BUT. i think the dream (despite it’s weirdness) would have a lot more meaning if it wasn’t the result of being really high, but if it was a dream he had like a week later as a result of a building sense of guilt/anxiety bc he told matt. also it fits better given later timeline things. (this timeline literally only exists if there are weird jumps in time that don’t make a ton of sense) (EDIT: I forgot one line about Jason crashing at ivys but fuck it forget that bitchass line this makes for more drama its staying this way)

February 4: Reputation Stain’d, Ever After; the next day following peter’s dream, idk what else to say, moving on. 

February 25-28: Spring; another jump! i’m sorry but the only way for this to make sense logistically is for there to be quite a few time jumps! however, i also think this one works bc i think it gives time for everything from around ivy’s party and peter and jason’s break up to stew emotionally. like obviously a musical only has so much time to tell a story so the audience cannot see every realistic beat, but honestly i think it makes the whole thing a little more dramatic™ if there’s space for everything to settle, and for ivy to come and apologize and such. also, the reason it’s multiple days is bc in the script, ivy is trying to study (presumably for some sort of midterm) while nadia is playing, so that probably takes place a few days before they move out, so before finals. but in the script, jason and peter are packing and peter is leaving, so that part of the song/staging takes place on the 28th. yes, that’s weird, but we are clearly thinking more about the logistics of this school than the writers were so. 

March 1: One; assuming st. cecilia’s works kinda like boarding schools here, they probably do staggered move out/move in, just bc that would be a lot to have people coming and going at once so it makes sense that peter left the day before, while jason and ivy are leaving the next day. also, given that peter is trying to call jason while he and ivy are banging, it’s probably been a hot minute since the actual break up, since peter was clearly very hurt by the whole thing, it would make sense (at least to me) that peter would reach out a month ish later, rather than like a few days later (you have to make so many assumptions to make this timeline work granted they aren’t super out there assumptions but still this is annoying) 

March 1-25: Spring Break. the coworkers I have who are in boarding school work over their school breaks, which are longer than the public school breaks (which are only a week) so i put their spring break at 3 weeks. it makes sense, and it makes the later part of the timeline make sense. 

I know i’m already halfway through this, but to me it makes sense for their to be quite a few time jumps in the story bc its a musical. they cannot show every day. there are a lot of other shows (particularly shows set in high schools) that are set over a whole school year, but if you just look at the events of the story that doesn’t make sense, so you have to imply that obviously they are not showing every little detail. moving on. 

March 25: Wedding Bells, In The Hallway, Touch My Soul; peter wakes up from his nightmare in the church, so im assuming he fell asleep in church (like he almost did during epiphany). also it makes sense that class ranks are announced in late march-early april, I know my school announced ours in like, the first week or so of april? so yeah. moving on.

(from this point on i was giving myself a headache trying to make it make sense so its all weird from here!!)

April 4: See Me, Warning; the date doesn’t really matter here, I picked a random day in early april. the script said peter is calling from him and jason’s old dorm room, as he was picking up the last of his things, so he clearly made the roommate switch after school started (makes sense to me). 

April 15-20 (approximately): Ivy finds out she’s pregnant. look google tells me on average people find out they are pregnant around 5-7 weeks after conception. i went with around 7 just so this timeline makes a tiny bit more sense given the later stuff, so yeah here we go. 

May 4: Pilgrim’s Hands, God Don’t Make No Trash, All Grown Up, Promise, Once Upon A Time, Cross; a rough night for our heroes. so given sister chantelle saying “again? wonderful.” and nadia saying “i can’t believe you missed rehearsal again”, clearly ivy has been missing quite a few rehearsals, so for dramas sake maybe from when she found out she was pregnant? also i know i’ve been saying they wouldn’t have rehearsals on weekends, and given my weird timeline this would be a saturday, but its tech week so i’ll allow it. 

May 5: Two Households, Bare, Queen Mab, A Glooming Peace; pretty self explanatory, and it makes sense to have the spring play in early may. rip jason. 

May 11: Absolution; the day before graduation peter goes to confront the priest. gives him a small amount of time to start processing, and it makes sense it would be the night before, at least to me. 

May 12: No Voice; i fucking hate this. “peter, we graduate next sunday” i hate that stupid fucking line. do you know that this timeline literally would be fine if it weren’t for that stupid fucking line? bc then, the school play would be in early may and graduation could be in late may-early june (when most high schools hold graduation) but no. keeping with continuity, they have to graduate the sunday following the school play. “peter we graduate in a month, are you really never gonna talk to me again?” would have been fine. but no, now we have beef. literally everything else about the end of this timeline being kinda weird would work itself out, except for the fucking graduation. god damn. anyway, may 12th, the graduate on may 12th which is really fucking weird bc of that one fucking line. whatever. i didn’t write the damn thing bc if i did i wouldn’t have written that fucking line. (i’ve been at this for over an hour and a half, so i’m a tad annoyed, can you tell?) 

anyway, that’s it. that’s my long as hell proposed bare timeline. if there’s anything glaringly wrong with it i don’t care bc this timeline literally cannot make sense. but honestly, now that i think about the Popular Tween High Schooler Musicals (heathers, bmc, deh) the timelines of those (especially heathers and bmc) don’t make tons of sense either. that’s just the way it is, that’s the way its gonna be. and we have to live with it. 

this post is so long it is actually slowing down my laptop as i type it

[wonkadaddyparker]

Dating Peter Parker would include

Warnings: None

A/N: Hey guys, this is my first post so Im kinda nervous to post this. Its been sitting in my drafts for so long now im not sure if i got it from somewhere or if i wrote it lol. english isnt my first language so don’t judge bc Im sensitive y’all.

being best buds with peter and ned!

doing science stuff together

feeling that peter would stare at you longer than the usual when you’re not looking but you don't tell him about it bc you also like him

ned coaxing him every single second to make a move already

“w-what was that” peter would be a stuttering mess every time ned tells him that while staring at you

“ned, she doesn't like me okay? she likes spiderman”

“THEN TELL HER WHO YOU REALLY ARE”

being proud for peter when got his “stark internship” and literally asking him about the avengers

especially steve

“SO WHAT'S CAPTAIN AMERICA LIKE IS HE SMOKING HOT IN SPANDEX OR WHAT”

“u-uh.. i met him .. once”

“OMG YOU TOTALLY HAVE TO INTRODUCE ME TO HIM”

accidentally finding out that peter is spiderman the same way ned did

“you’re the spiderman??” you whisper shout

“yes but don’t tell anybody, okay? only ned and you should know”

trying hard to not let the secret slip out of you

begging peter to let you wear the suit

but of course he doesn’t let you go farther than the mask

one night he would just tap on your window in full costume

and this is where he would admit his feelings

HE WOULD BE STUTTERING MESS TBH

“w-what im trying to say.. Is.. uhm.. (y/n).. i-i”

kissing him mid sentence so he would get the memo that you like him too

“you don’t know how long i’ve been waiting to do that”

defending peter whenever flash talks shit to him

hanging out with peter, ned and michelle in the library not studying but trying to suppress your laughters all thanks to your extra ass boyfriend

neither of the two of you are in to pda

you guys are kinda like best friends but there’s cute, quick kisses and hand holding when the two of you are alone

peter taking you out to try mr delmar’s sandwiches which ends up in you craving them at random times of the night

peter knocking on in his spidey suit your window at like three in the morning to eat sandwiches with you

booping each other’s noses randomly

peter scrunching his nose in the cutest way

you refuse to believe that he doesn’t do it on purpose

“so what’s tony stark like”

“oh you know, he’s uh...he’s great hey let’s talk about something else?”

talking to him about college and what happens after

“peter, please be safe okay? i don’t want to risk losing you”

patching him up whenever he would get hurt

especially after the whole vulture incident

“(y/n), you don’t really have to”

“shh, let me”

basically your and peter’s relationship is very innocent and fluffy and you guys just love each other so much and would die for each other!!!!!!

[bagelbite]

my thoughts on far from home

literally amazing oh my god. it is up there in my “absolute favourites” for both marvel movies and just movies in general. im just gonna word vommit my thoughts and then probably spam with other people’s posts lol.

!!!THIS POST CONTAINS SPOILERS!!!

- okay so the obvious: the cast. bruh i mean we all know that tom holland is incredible and everything, but i will say im a little bitter that everyone is acting like jake gyllenhaal is this “new” actor like hello he has be phenomenal for years like im glad hes getting the attention now because his performance of mysterio was literally god tier (he went completely feral with the role and it was amazing). also zendeya and jacob batalon are amazing but we weren’t surprised about that

- “you deal with the suit, i’ll deal with the music” its fine im not sobbing or anything

- THE HUMOR oh my gosh this movie is so funny like it perfectly captures the unmatched chaotic energy of a lovestruck-highschool-boy-that-is-also-a-superhero. like john watts does such a good job of shooting this movie so you never get to forget that peter is just a kid and he’s learning how to do everything and hes confused but trying his best

- it has all of these amazing action shots that just capture and demonstrate how capable peter is with his powers and athleticism and this movie actually shows the spidersense (or the peter tingle) in an AMAZING way like bruh i was sitting on the edge of my seat in those scenes

- i once again have to emphasize just how amazing jake gyllenhaal is in playing mysterio, as well as mysterio as a character. this is finally a marvel villian that isnt boring and forgettable, like bruh BRUH mysterio is amazing. and i love the fact that he is just a human. like he doesnt have any of these insane or threatening powers, hes just amazingly smart and borderline off his rocker. like he starts off and hes composed and thinks ahead for every possible option and he keeps himself in control, but slowly through out the movie you see him just go further and further off the edge to where he gets desperate and lashes out and doesnt care about the consequences. but then the mid credit scene reveals that even when hes dead and pushed to his end, he still had a plan to get back at peter.

- i love how in peters eyes, the other kid that was going after MJ (i forgot his name) was essentially as big a problem as literal global destruction like what homeboy

- even dead im the hero DONT TALK TO ME

- THE ENTIRE PART WHERE QUINTEN IS JUST TORMENTING PETER AND MAKING HIM QUESTION EVERYTHING BRUH like obviously that shit hurt (he literally had to watch mj “die”, saw his father-figure and mentor rise from the grave and come to attack him, as well as feeling completely helpless multiple times, thinking hes safe when fury shoots quinten but then it reveals that it was just an illusion to only further that he cant trust anything he sees)

- he literally got his by a train can this boy please get a break hes like sixteen

- omg im gonna cry thinking about the part when happy came and peter was so relieved and then the trauma of the hallucinations came back and he immediately put his guard back up and was ready to fight or run if it wasnt happy, but then he just completely breaks down when he realizes that hes safe

- HAPPY IS ONE OF THE MOST UNDERRATED CHARACTERS IN THE MCU!!!!!! this man was there for tony’s entire journey and helped him every step of the way and he genuinely cared for tony as a friend and platonic companion, and he had to watch his best friend die. and then he watches the “adoptee son” of tony go through a very similar journey, but years sooner than tony ever had to deal with it. and he watches peter doubt himself in the same areas tony did, but now hes been through helping tony so he knows how to help peter too. idk man i love happy and i get mad when hes forgotten

- we arent even going to talk about all of the similarities between peter and tony like ow ow OW OW OW

- one question, the multiverse is fake right? bc quentin technically faked it right so that means it isnt real? i hope its not real tbh bc that would make stuff even messier than it already is

- tbh i didnt really like fury being talos in the end but idk we’ll see what they do

- THE MUSIC HOW HAVE I NOT MENTIONED THAT YET BRUH THIS SOUNDTRACK IS INCREDIBLE

- okay i was shook at how much character depth they were able to give flash in literally like a few seconds. 1) when they were being picked up at the airport he was greated by a butler or bodyguard or something and he says “could mother not make it” and 2) he looked genuinely effected finding out that “spiderman watches my instagram?!”. both of these show you that he is truly just a kid that is ignored and left behind by his family and he is desperately seeking attention from anyone he can get it. and it doesnt excuse his aggressive behavior towards peter, but it does explain it

- again on the filming style and director choices, i loved how they filmed quentin’s big reveal plan like a “brooklyn 99 introduction” as i saw it so perfectly describe by @universe-exe

- PETER HAD HIS WHOLE IDENTITY EXPOSED which like lets be honest it was coming this boy can never keep his mask on but still it should have been on his own terms AND ALSO IT WAS DONE IN A WAY THAT FRAMES HIM AS BEING THIS MANIAC VILLIAN LIKE BRUH AND WE HAVE TO WAIT FOR THE NEXT MOVIE TO FIGURE OUT LIKE WHAT WHAT WHAT IM FREAKING OUT

- as much as i love how whump filled this movie is, i feel so bad for peter. he has only been a superhero for a handful of years and he has been through SO much like can this boy please just go to school and be a high schooler. like if this keeps up at this rate, he will literally be peter b parker from spiderverse in a matter of years

but yeah those are my thoughts and im hurt i love this movie so much like bruh im seeing it again tomorrow and i will be buying it as soon as possible i love it so much

[stupidwithu]

Idk if youre still taking prompts but could you do one where peter thinks hes got the stomach flu and tries to tell people at school and at the tower but they all think hes trying to get out of tests and training. He ends up getting really sick and hides in his room cuz nobody wants to be around him since they think hes lying. It ends up being friday who convinces tony the kid isnt faking

thank you for another prompt! I actually almost declined it (I’m not a huge fan of the Boy Who Cried Wolf scenarios, especially with Peter) but I got randomly inspired. this is my first posted fic, so please be gentle lol

Peter Parker/MCU Sickfic

MCUtopia AU (basically canon except everyone survives Endgame)

__________

six words you never understood

“Hey, Ned,” Peter whispers. “do I- uh, do I feel warm to you?”

The two are seated in the front row of their first period class. Ned is juggling a handful of color-coded Spanish flashcards and taking deep, labored breaths (in through your nose, out through your mouth, Ned). Peter leans close to him as he speaks, freeing one of his best friend’s hands from the notes and attempting to bring it to his own forehead.

“Wha-” Ned pulls away just before the contact. “What are you doing, man?”

“I feel weird,” Peter mumbles through a tight jaw. It’s a bit of an understatement, but he really isn’t sure how else to phrase it. This morning, he felt weird; now, he’s got an unsettling ache in his limbs and the daunting taste of breakfast lingering beneath his tongue.

Ned looks confused - almost worried - for a second before his expression changes. “Oh, Hell no… Peter, you are not leaving me here to do this presentation alone!”

“I- What?” Peter glances at the mess of rainbow card-stock, then back to his friend, exasperated. “I won’t, but-”

“You look fine to me.”

“I feel sick, Ned.” As if on cue, a sickly burp rises in Peter’s throat. He lets out a quiet gasp, pressing a fist to his lips to stifle it. Ned doesn’t seem to buy it, though, and Peter can’t really blame him. He felt the same way this morning: Oh, this kind of stuff still happens.

“¿Estás nervoso?”

“Nervioso,” Peter corrects. “But, no-”

“See? Nothing to be worried about!” Ned exclaims, cheerful and borderline obnoxious. His eyes widen suddenly, and he picks up a neon green index card between his fingers. He flips it back and forth, then, “Me, on the other hand…”

“Leeds? Parker?” A stern, clear voice rouses Ned from his pre-hysteria. “¿Estás listo?”

“Oh, God.”

_____

It’s a miracle they make it through the four-minute presentation. Ned was surprisingly quick to get his stuttering under control, and once he did, Peter found it easy to hide behind his enthusiastic explanations and the flashy PowerPoint the duo had put together the week prior. They ended up getting a B (Ned isn’t that great at Spanish and Peter wasn’t much help), but the two were content with that, all things considered. Peter’s luck, unfortunately, was short-lived.

He extends a trembling hand to flush the toilet, wiping his mouth with the sleeve of his sweater as an extremely agitated “C’mon, man!” erupts from outside the stall. Peter hauls himself into a standing position with the help of some superhuman strength and a grip on the empty toilet paper dispenser. He mumbles a quiet “Sorry,” as he stumbles into the bathroom’s common area. Stopping at the sinks on his way out, Peter watches the cold water pool into his cupped hands with a dazed expression. When he remembers, he splashes his face with it, taking a second handful into his sour mouth and sloshing it around. He spits it out and grimaces.

Peter had spent the remaining two periods before lunch slipping in and out of not-so-subtle naps and texting Ned beneath his desk to try and keep himself sane. He’d completely given up on him by the third but, you’re spider-man text though. The worse he feels, the less he cares to convince Ned there’s something wrong. He obviously isn’t getting it, and Peter no longer has the energy to argue.

As soon as he takes his first wobbly step out of the overcrowded boy’s bathroom, he bumps – quite literally – into MJ, who remains firm after the collision, grasping Peter’s forearm with both hands to steady him.

“Holy shit, Peter.”

“I. uh-” Peter sighs, running a hand over his face. He no longer needs confirmation on the fever; he can feel it radiating off his own skin. “I’m sorry.”

She shrugs. “I was looking for you anyway.”

Peter glances up at her. He can’t read anything from her expression (he never can), so he just lets her finish.

“Happy’s here.”

“What?” Peter takes a few minutes to process the sentence. First, he’s caught off guard by the fact that MJ knows Happy by name, but this bewilderment is quickly overcome by wait, Happy’s here?

“What?” He repeats, but it’s no longer directed at her. He pulls his phone from his pocket, scanning over the multitude of notifications littering his lock screen.

Happy :) : I’m outside.

Happy :) : Peter.

Happy :) : Do I need to sign you out?

Happy :) : PETER

Happy :) : If I have to get off this car…

6 missed calls from Happy :)

Peter blinks, the light from his phone intensifying a headache he apparently hadn’t even noticed until now. He locks the phone, shoving it back into his pants and dashing past MJ with whatever speed he can muster. He catches her shoulder with his backpack.

“Sorry!” he shouts through gritted teeth, at the same time she calls out “Peter!”

He skids to a stop, turning clumsily to face her.

“Take it easy, okay?”

Peter nods, continuing his race to the Student Pick-Up area. He can’t help the smile that spreads across his feverish cheeks as he runs. If he didn’t know better, he’d say she was worried.

_____

“You… forgot…”

“Happy, I’m so sorry.” Peter pants. He’s outside the black sports car now, doubled over with his hands on his knees, panting at the road beneath his feet. It seems to sway under his weight, so he closes his eyes to regain balance. “I’ve just- I’m kinda sick, and-”

Happy raises a finger to his lips to silence Peter. It seems like everyone’s doing that today. He unlocks the car and grumbles, “Get in. If Tony asks, we stopped to get gas.”

Peter takes the invitation gratefully, sliding lazily into the backseat. His book-bag lands on the car floor with a thud, and his aching body collapses onto the seat with a similar weight. Happy’s words don’t really sink in until they’ve been driving for a few minutes. “Wait, why are we lying to Mr. Stark?”

“Let’s just say it’s not one of his best days.”

Peter snakes an arm around his abdomen, leaning his face against the car window with a deep sigh. “That makes two of us.”

_____

“Mr. Stark,” Peter swallows.

In the five-minute walk from the parking lot to Mr. Stark on the compound’s first floor, Peter’s condition has completely tanked. The headache he’d been sprouting on the ride over has now evolved into a sharp stabbing behind his eyes, making him dizzy and unbelievably nauseous. The reasonable part of Peter’s sick brain can tell he still has a fever, but most of him is just focused on how cold he is, the hair on the back of his neck and arms standing with chills. “I don’t feel so good.”

Tony shoots the kid a glare, and he immediately retracts his choice of words. “Sorry.”

The two are standing just behind the large glass doors that lead to the biggest open grass in the compound. They always train here when there’s a large group, Tony had said. It’s been a while, he’d also said; he wasn’t sure they’d ever train like this again. Peter wants to smile at the irony as he watches Captain America tighten the straps of his shield around his arm, still in otherwise-regular clothes. Peter would be ecstatic if he didn’t feel so awful. Tony taps the glass to point at where Thor is standing. He’s not really doing anything, just looking around.

“You ready for that?”

Peter almost gasps. Eagerness sprouts in the pit of his stomach, bubbling up his throat at the idea. Training with the God of Thunder! Officially meeting Thor? Peter’s almost lost in his fantasies before the butterflies make him feel sick again. “Uh oh.”

“C’mon kid,” Tony smiles, patting Peter’s back. The force of it makes Peter cough, but he muffles it into his sleeve. “There’s no reason to be nervous. He’s only a God.”

Peter gulps.

“Pete,” Tony laughs, turning to face him. “I’m just kidding. It’s only sparring.”

“No, I- I know.”  Peter hiccups. “I just really don’t think I’m up to this.”

Tony looks confused – and a little annoyed, Peter notices.

“Why not?”

“I’m sick.” Peter says, feeling small.

Tony gives him a weird look. “You’re… sick?”

“I know, apparently-”

“Are you trying to play hooky, Spider-Man?”

“Mr. Stark, no, I- I wouldn’t,” Peter trips over his words. He knows he’s not in the wrong here, but something about Tony’s tone makes him nervous.

“Bold choice,” Tony continues. “considering you’ve never hesitated to fight impaired before. Like that time… what was it? The time you let me annihilate you in a three-hour training session without telling me your wrist was broken. In two places, Peter.”

“Okay,” Peter breaths. “That was dumb, but this is-”

“What? It’s not the same?”

Peter feels like he must have missed something. There’s a hint of venom behind Tony’s words now, an anger that’s only really been directed at him once before. Peter shakes his head and sharp pain pierces through his temples. He’s definitely not understanding. “Mr. Stark-“

“Right,” Tony interrupts, again. “because that’s the God of Thunder out there and I’m just Mr. Stark.”

“Please,”

“No, it’s okay… You know what, Peter? You’re right. You’re not ready for this. Go upstairs. I’ll have Happy take you home in a few hours.”

“Mr. St-” Peter clamps a hand over his mouth, eyes watering as he gags into it. He looks to Tony for help, but he’s already halfway out the automated glass door.

Peter closes his eyes in a desperate (and failed) attempt to feel steady. Kitchen, he remembers, he’s close to it. He runs – now with both hands caging his mouth – to where he thinks it might be, arriving just in time to heave into the sink. The remains of his breakfast spray past his fingers and soak the previously-pristine metal.

“Mr. Parker, do you require assistance?”

_____

FRIDAY’s voice begins to echo just as Tony sends a final blast from his gauntlet straight into Steve’s – Sam’s? He isn’t entirely sure – shield. It ricochets, but he ducks just in time.

“Boss, may I interrupt?”

“You already have, FRI,” Tony spits. Steve nods in his direction, undoing his arm straps and tossing the Vibranium to the side in two swift movements.

“Peter Parker is in distress.”

At this, training halts. Natasha makes a T-shape with her arms and the remaining Avengers fall in line, each taking the time to collect themselves as they listen.

“He having a nightmare or something? Wake him up for me, I’m a little busy.” Tony immediately resorts back to a fighting stance, but it falls flat when Steve doesn’t join him. They’ve been at this for a while, he notices.

“Tony?” Steve tries.

“Mr. Parker is displaying a temperature reading of approximately 103.9 degrees Fahrenheit and has been throwing up, on and off, for the past four hours.”

“What the fuck?”

“I had been advised not to bring this to your attention, at Mr. Parker’s request. However, he has since lost consciousness and his two degree rise in temperature has led me to override his decision as per protocol. How would you like to proceed?”

Tony takes a shaky, uneven breath. He’d been stressed, hyper-fixated on this training session as the first Avengers group activity since… It would be Steve’s last - he made that clear - but Tony begged him to come. Peter wanted him there. Peter. How could he not have seen this?

Tony doesn’t realize he’s panicking until Steve’s hand is on his shoulder. He hadn’t noticed the hyperventilating until he had to carry the weight of Captain America’s arm with each hitch.

“Tony,” Steve says again, softer.

“I fucked up.”

“I can get him. It’s okay.”

“No, no,” Tony takes a final deep breath, stabilizing himself. Tony’s bare hand shoots up to push at Steve’s chest, as if he possessed half the force necessary to hold him back. “I’ve got him.”

_____

The sight Tony finds in the downstairs bathroom makes his chest feel tight. Peter’s slouched over the toilet seat, his face resting on the porcelain – which is so, so gross – and his eyes are closed. His breaths are labored; Tony can tell by the way his back arches and trembles. The kid’s out cold, but his face is twisted in a look of pain and his now-limp hands are still white-knuckled from previous exertion.

Tony takes a few small steps forward, kneeling carefully to get closer to the boy’s level. He sighs, reaching up to run a hand through the mess of damp curls plastered to Peter’s forehead.

“Rise and shine, Underoos.”

The second he wakes, Peter is immediately gagging. Tony lifts him back over the toilet seat when he falls, though nothing comes up but water and bile. The poor kid continues to heave after everything’s gone, spluttering and choking on his own breath.

“Hey, hey, that’s enough,” Tony soothes, dropping into a sitting position so he can pull Peter close to his chest. “There’s nothing left, kid.”

It takes a few minutes, but Peter eventually falls into a semi-even breathing pattern. When Tony briefly wonders if he’s sleeping, Peter takes a handful of fabric from Tony’s shirt into his fist, pulling him closer.

“Listen, Pete,” Tony tries, unsteady. He would’ve thought he’d be a little more prepared for this after five years with Morgan, but his relationship with Peter now seems more fragile than ever. “I’m really sorry. I should’ve listened.”

“Shh, Mr. St’rk,” Peter slurs through layers of congestion. With a finger to his lips, he motions to his apparently-sensitive ears. “S’okay.”

“You’re here now,” he says after some time, and Tony watches him close his eyes.

“Yeah,” he chuckles, sadly. “I’m here.”