#samara & jack

[angstyastro]

13 tickets for Barbie pls

Late for pride month but have my gay war criminals

The lighting is based on pride flags for each chara!

[lilmissnatcat24]

for no other reason than i worked at an ice cream shop for eight years, here's what ice cream the mass effect characters would eat

shepard: neapolitan, strawberry for their paragon side, chocolate for their renegade, vanilla to balance

garrus: moose tracks, but will pick it apart just for the peanut butter cups and give shepard the leftovers

tali: literally any booze flavored ice cream

liara: mint chocolate chip because she secretly kind've fucks with the taste of toothpaste but will never admit it out loud

kaidan: butter pecan. it's not everyone's favorite, but it's his, and he's totally cool with it

ashley: whatever the 2183 equivalent to the tonight dough. cookie dough chunks, brownie chunks, butterscotch, chocolate chips, malt chunks, everything

wrex: this man is old as balls!!!!!! rum raisin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

joker: lemon sherbet. you cannot tell me that man is not lactose intolerant

miranda: cherries garcia, little bit sweet, little bit tart

jack: the most sickening sweet shit you can think of. cotton candy with marshmallow superman with a side of sugar

jacob: some sort of dark chocolate peanut butter ice cream that sounds good in theory but in reality you can only take like 3 bites of before you get a tummy ache

zaeed: banana splits that he likes to mash together with a spoon and eat like some deconstructed milkshake

kasumi: the weird avant gard shit you see in hipster vegan shops, like some bacon sweet potato rosebud ice cream

mordin: coffee ice cream, because he likes the taste of coffee but if he were to actually drink it he would spontaneously combust

grunt: those froyo shops that were everywhere in 2014 where you could make a bowl with like 5% froyo and 95% other toppings and it cost 14 dollars

thane: doesn't like ice cream because it reminds him of how he abandoned his child and how his wife is dead and he could never go back to the life he left behind, the life of stability, because his body is engineered for a deadly purpose and he can never atone for his sins rocky road

samara: this woman is old as balls!!!!!!!!!!!!! pistachio!!!!!!!!!!!

legion: tried vanilla ice cream. too sticky, got stuck in his wiring.

james: one of those brownie sundaes that weighs approximately 5 pounds and is majority whipped cream

steve: chocolate chip. classy, just like him ;)

traynor: something smooth and rich and velvety and inexplicably sexy, like raspberry chocolate chunk

edi: takes the idea of ice cream a little too literally and just has a bowl of heavy cream with ice cubes. is confused why everyone is disgusted.

javik: ice cream is for primitives (peaches and cream)

[blackthornluce]

Samara Weaving and David Corenswet as Claire Wood and Jack Castello in HOLLYWOOD (2020).

[margoteve]

Making a drink but we don't know what the other people put in there Normandy SR 2 Style.

Miranda: Miranda Lawson. we all have learned that i don't trust them, so i am putting in some lemonade.

Tali: Tali here! i am gonna put in Poppi because I feel like Shepard is going to put in a lot of liquor. Trying to play it safe

Garrus: Garrus Vakarian. i am putting in lemonade because Shepard just got dumped and I can tell they will try to go hard tonight, so....

Mordin: Mordin Solus. Sprite. Team consisting of hardened military and criminal element. Lots of liquor suspected. Trying to protect liver.

Jacob: I'm Jacob. i am putting in OJ, because I am kinda scared of Shepard

Shepard: Hi, this is Shepard. it's been some long ass week, so I'm putting in some Everclear *sniffs the bottle amd recoils* *starts pouring* *assesses and pours in way more*

Jack: *flips off camera* *adds liquor*

Zaeed: *adds more liquor*

Kasumi: *trying to shake the container but some spills* what the fu-

Cut to entire squad taking a shot. Cue sputtering and shouts of "Jesus Christ!" and "Holy Everclear!!". Shepard with mild grimace pouring themselves, Zaeed and Jack another shot.

[pigeonrocks]

probably wont finish the me3 squad screen... so here are the redraws i did anyway for me1 & me2 :)

[maple-tequeno]

I never posted the full thingy so here have other old lazy mass effect sketches ft. my first playthrough’s Shep

[kaidanalenkosprmanager]

MEET THE CREW OF THE NORMANDY SR-2 (2185)

Overseen by Admiral Steven Hackett, the undercover operations undertaken by the Normandy crew in 2185 are sponsored by the Alliance Shade program following Sophie Oliveira-Shepard's coup from Cerberus after her resurrection. The mission? Traverse the Terminus Systems. Collect intelligence on the thing that killed her in 2184. Save the galaxy by any means necessary. The only issue? The darker secrets lurking under the surface. Like the machinations and strings being pulled by someone behind the scenes that seem to keep dragging old crew members into new dangers. And the old enemies... wearing familiar faces. MIRA'S MORE CANON MASS EFFECT 2 AKA: The actual, canon crew of the Normandy SR-2. ;) Mass Effect 2: Legendary Edition (2021) Rendered: Blender Eevee

[sol-consort]

Omg, I don't know if you remember, but that shepard cam girl/streamer au you did, I absolutely loved it!! I loved Shepard being so nonchalant about being tits-out in front of the crew, also them passing around the video and being embarrassed about making eye contact with Shep. You killed me!! That was so good

Oh god, this one? I wrote it while half asleep, didn't expect anyone to read it. I just checked it over again–damn the amount of typos. I fixed as much as I could rn. Hopefully, it reads smoother.

But yes! I still adore the concept and would love to expand upon it.

The army life + staying on a ship in the middle of the galaxy and sharing space with your crew has got to result in a lot of accidental nudity and flashing situations. Someone new on warships–like Tali or Liara might find it surprising, feel a bit more shy, while someone like Shepard, who was the Normandy second in command during Captian Anderson days got used to it by now.

Or maybe it's a human army thing? Quarians can't strip for first aid because it will only worsen the situation, Krogans have their thick skin and shells, and Turian skin has metal outer plating.

Only humans are this squishy, easily injured, easy to tear into. Mix that with the fact that we have a pretty good immunity system that gives us high tolerance to different microbiomes and the most genetically diverse genes in the Mass Effect canon–Mordin mentions it in ME2—it's not hard to understand why a human soldier would nonchalantly strip on an alien planet, in the middle of the battlefield, just to ensure the wound is treated properly.

But it's still hot—Shepard's total disregard to having your tits out on full display, chest heaving with every breath. Your crew desperately trying to maintain eye contact and not get distracted by the way your bare tits bounce with every powerful command and order you bark at them.

Biotics grant people healing abilities, at least ingame. It's not strange for someone like Kaidan or Liara to act as an emergency medic while on the battlefield.

Kaidan attempts to stay professional, stuttering more than usual as the raspiness in his voice becomes more apparent courtesy of his dry throat.

The tips of his ears reddish, summoning all of his will to keep his finger study as he pressed against your wound with the disinfected pad. Having to lower himself into your naked form, his clothed chest almost fully pressing against your own. The hiss you let out as your nipples touch the cold metal surface of his armour—it almost makes his heart jump out from his ribcage–barely remaining collected by the end of it.

Sneaking one lustful glance at your still exposed chest on the shuffle ride back to the Normandy before forcing himself to look away, feeling ashamed of his actions, excusing himself to his own sleeping pod the second the crew is back on board.

-

Anyway, so streamer Shepard hmm.

Miranda would quickly catch wind of this open secret and become your number one patron under a fake pseudo name. She keeps toning in each stream, even if she's working, simply setting the tablet on the table while she files the papers away. Dropping big stacks occasionally whenever you do something she likes, using the carrot method to subtly get you to act more and more slutty, exactly how she likes it.

Samara convinced herself that as long as she only watches—no touching herself, no writing a comment, no sending any money–then it's basically okay and doesn't break her code. She does, however, pay attention to your frequent commenters, checking their profiles, tracking their other socials... just in case one of them crosses the line. It is her job to make this world a safer place for everyone, right?

Thane–oh god, poor Thane. His own Siha...? Humans sure are uh... more adventurous than he thought they were. Drells are moved by emotions and romantic feelings more than sexual ones. He has very little interest in pornagrophy in any form of media because he just can't get off to a stranger, someone he doesn't love. But once he discovers that it is you in those videos, his commander Shepard, his siha. A flood of emotions wash over him. It becomes a boderline addiction.

Thane especially knows about the common human porno trope of fucking a drell because of the skin acting as both a stim and an aphrodisiac. He wonders if you'd be open to...having him on the stream for that? Just to boost your views...no other reason :) Definitely not to sate some deep primal instinct within him, the need to state his claim by fucking you in front of all of your adoring fans, he is such a tender gentle soul, he would never have those possessive thoughts, right?....right?

The poor guy almost voices this suggestion out each time you come over for a little chat.

Jack would be your top commenter, not even under a fake profile or a different name. Straight up Jack with her own profile picture to boost. Spewing filth and ordering you around like her own personal whore. Of course you don't pay her any mind and only oblige her requests after you make her beg.

Garrus wants to join you so badly. Picture this, the first ever human/turian streamers ever since the war! It will be a hit with both planets. Your profile will skyrocket in popularity. Especially if this is in ME1 where the human-turian intergalactic relationship was still strained and tense. Meditate the tension between your civilisations by letting him stuff you full with his gaint blue glowing cock <3 huh huh!? A million credit worth idea right?

[guardevoir]

100 days of art, 79/100 - Prettiest face in video games, sorry I don't make the rules.

This sits in that awkward texturing space where, if I'd wanted to take it a notch further, I would've had to put in like ten extra hours. Which I might do one day, but today is not that day.

[msunitedstatesjames]

A few years ago, I played through the Dragon Age games. Now I'm playing through Mass Effect, and I find it kind of hilarious that in both DA2 and ME2 Bioware was like, "Okay, these games are pretty combat heavy, so we've got to figure out who the protagonists are going to be fighting the whole game." And in both games, they were like, "How about various gangs, each with a gimmick, whose members will ceaselessly throw themselves into the deadly path of the protagonist?"

I've written about this before for DA2, but it's just as funny in ME2.

You've gotta imagine the conversations happening in the mercenary gang headquarters throughout the events of this game. The leaders have gotta be like, "Okay, why are our members dropping like flies all of the sudden?" And then they get a little intel and they're like, "Oh."

So they gather their crews around and they're like, "So guys, we just want to let you know to keep an eye out on any jobs coming up because we've been taking some hits."

And the crew members are like, "Okay, who are we looking out for?"

And the leaders go, "Well, first of all, Commander Shepard. You know that human who saved the Citadel from the Geth and that rogue Spectre a couple of years ago?"

And one of the dudes is like, "I heard it was actually a Reaper she defeated."

And the rest of the crew laugh at that crazy conspiracy theory and are like, "One human? Big deal."

And the leaders are like, "Well...not exactly. She tends to run with a crew."

And then the leaders have to tell them about Shepard's crew, consisting of:

Some human lady who always wears a hood (Kasumi is actually good at her job, so I assume they wouldn't have reliable intel on her)

A Quarian tech expert

A former Alliance marine who survived Eden Prime and the attack of the Citadel

A lady who's pretty much a clone designed to be physically and mentally perfect

A Salarian who helped redesign the genophage and was also a member of the Special Forces

The galaxy's top bounty hunter and also co-founder of the Blue Suns

Some Drell dude who may or may not be the most successful assassin in the galaxy

A biotic prodigy who has broken out of more than one high security containment facility

Weirdly, another clone designed to be physically and mentally perfect, but this time they're a Krogan

An Asari Justicar (or her even more murderous progeny)

A Geth who can talk, apparently

And a Turian who looks like, sounds like, and shoots exactly like that guy Archangel, who took out large swaths of merc crews almost singlehandedly before mysteriously disappearing (or dying?) on Omega

And at first the crew isn't that impressed. They're like, "Sounds like a bunch of weaklings to me." And then somewhere around Zaeed they start to be like, "Okay, we'll keep a lookout." And then somewhere around like Samara they start to be like, "Well, shit." And then they get to Garrus and they're like, "Please don't let it be that asshole again."

And the merc Commanders are like, "Good luck to you guys. Make sure to wear a helmet or you might be getting your head crushed through some mixture of pure biotic force, a Krogan bodyslam, and/or a headshot from the guy who's definitely not Archangel!"

And then after the guys leave the Commander thinks to himself, "I'm glad I made it up through the ranks before all this bullshit."

[for-the-love-of-starwars]

Whose who in ME2 a character breakdown. Honorary mention to Jacob. Yes this is based off that one meme.

[edains]

Samara Recruitment or Shepard's gay awakening?

femshepping's Personal Complexions

Hair Mixtures Part 2

Han's Armory for Mordin Solus

Jack Nought's Armory (LE2)

Justicar Samara's Titan Armory (LE2)

Modular Andromeda Armours (LE2)

Primitives - A Facial Appearance Overhaul

Wraith Eyes

[hum-tittle]

As a business management major with a minor in accounting here is how I think the squadmates would handle Excel. (And yes I do have spreadsheets for my posts)

S tier synthetics- EDI and Legion

being synthetics, they would both know how to use every feature and be extremely fast as well. But EDI would focus more on aesthetics than Legion

A tier knows how to make a macro (an action or a set of actions that can be recorded, named, saved and executed as many times as required and whenever desired)- Traynor, Liara, Tali, Mordin, and Miranda.

Though Mordin’s sheets are in a lot of shorthand and hard for most to understand.

B tier can make a pivot table/chart (A pivot table is a table of values which are aggregations of groups of individual values of a more extensive table within one or more discrete categories.)- Wrex and Jacob.

Now having so many kids, Wrex would need something to help keep track. I feel like the illusive man would force all of Cerberus to take Excel courses.

C tier can get the job done.- Jack, Garrus, Kasumi, Ashley, Kaiden.

They can do basic functions and stack filters but beyond that, is a nope. Jack had to learn to use it after becoming a teacher. Kasumi just doesn’t have a need for it, but if she did she would be higher.

D tier could if they needed to- Joker and Samara.

I think Joker would just get really annoyed with it and would only use it if he absolutely had to. With the Justicar code, there would be very few reasons she would ever need Excel, but she would be more than capable if she did. Thane being a Drell (they have perfect memory) he wouldn’t really need it for himself. Plus his line of work does not require it. But he would definitely make a spreadsheet well if asked to.

E tier will break something- Zaeed and Vega

Zaeed would shoot the computer after his third error code. James would really try but somehow make the whole system crash.

F tier No <3- Javik and Grunt

Javik would just refuse, but secretly it’s because he is worried he would be bad at using primitive tech. Grunt just gets too bored.

[brooklynbadboys]

newsies uk always slays <3 <3

[strawberrykidneystone]

mass effect companions masterbation headcanons me2

requested by @reallyquitestrange

part 1

miranda:

this woman knows her body inside and out, she knows all of her sensitive spots. i wouldn’t be surprised if she had a secret compartment of sex toys in her room. definitely has one of those thrusting machines that’s remote controlled, cerberus certified. uses it maybeeee once a week🤔

jacob:

i feel like he’s one of those dude-bros who transfers his sexual energy into his exercising. like if he feels the urge to masterbate he just starts doing sit ups😭

thane:

has definitely replayed fun times with his wife in his mind, but merely watches without touching himself.

edi:

(insert joke about joker pushing her buttons)

joker:

was comfortable masterbating in the SR1 but in the SR2 with edi,,, he’s too nervous to bc he feels like she’s always watching😭

grunt:

does it a LOT once he’s out of his tube, but once’s he’s integrated into krogan society he stops😭

samara:

i feel like she’d rather have another person do it for her🤔

jack:

girl she’s jorking it all the time in her free time, after being released from her cryogenic chamber??? oh she’d be doing it 24/7 if she could. donnelly and daniels and SICK of hearing her but too afraid to say anything😭

kasumi:

i feel like kasumi is knee deep in mourning, especially after retrieving keiji’s box so she doesn’t really feel an urge. however, i’d say that she masterbates while she’s ovulating when the greif becomes more manageable

mordin:

canonically, no. maybe gets the urge to do it once in a blue moon, but never really acts on it. would def do hand stuff if he had a partner though <3

legion:

how much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood

[thefloatingstone]

My power was out and I was bored and I considered doing this in drawing form but I didn't want to die so here's a low effort post of all the canon gays instead. happy pride.