#sam accidentally shot kent

[pomporri]

hey stardew ppl wanna be friends (twitter is scaring me)

[studentinpursuitofclouds]

What are the biggest fears of the townspeople in Stardew Valley?

Ok, this is a very interesting question. I tried to take into account the canonical fears of people (the same Abigail and Harvey), as they have dialogues that reveal their fears. Thanks for the ask, dear anon, and enjoy!

Warning: there are references to various phobias as well as sad and unpleasant moments. There is no detailed description but still it is worth warning, it may be unpleasant for someone to read.

Rats. Haley is terribly afraid of rats. Huge and scary rodents almost the size of Haley's handbag ... Eeeeeeep, gross!

To be buried alive in a pile of stones in the mines, to die of starvation or wounds, so that later your soul wanders through these very mines like a damned spirit... For Marlon, this is probably the worst fate that he would not wish even an enemy.

Acrophobia made it impossible for Harvey to follow his dream of becoming a pilot, and to this day he has to face problems due to his fear of heights.

Kent fears that the war with the Gotoro Empire will knock on the door of Stardew Valley, the home of his family and friends.

For Shane, the worst thing is if something happens to his dearest niece. Given that they live close to the forest where wolves and bears live...

Clowns... Penny stays away from the man with the clown make-up at every Stardew Valley Fair.

No matter how much Clint grumbles about his work as a blacksmith and about Pelican Town residents, his biggest fear is being alone. Especially dying alone.

The mere thought of going to the doctor brings panic to poor Vincent's face. And if he needs to get a flu shot, then all the glass and windows will crack from loud crying.

Needles. Bummer, why does Sam need to take medicine not in the form of bitter pills, but as an injection? Of course, he's not as scared as his younger brother, but his mom said that Sam cried a lot louder at the doctor's appointment when he was a child.

Poor Jas is terrified of the dark and won't be able to sleep in her room without her nightlight and plush bunny.

Every day, the Wizard needs to check the seal on his wife's hut, for he is afraid that she, in a fit of revenge, will still be able to unleash her wrath on the innocent inhabitants of Stardew Valley. If this happens, he will never forgive himself.

Sebastian has always loved watching the sea, but swimming in the sea - no thanks. One unpleasant incident in childhood, in which he almost drowned in sea water, discourages the desire to swim even in adulthood.

A huge crowd of people is what Leah fears the most, because she knows many true stories when an uncontrollable crowd in a panic can accidentally knock a person to the ground and trample.

Once Pierre visited an exhibition of vintage dolls in Zuzu city with his wife and said to himself: never again. Why dolls? He himself cannot answer.

Snakes for Marnie. And it doesn't matter if they're poisonous or not. Just the sight of a snake makes her break out in a cold sweat.

Abigail is a brave girl, but spiders have always been her weakness. And the fact that there are monster spiders in the mines... Brrr!

No one argues that good-natured Emily loves animals very much, but the sight of a huge predator like a bear or a pack of wolves causes her only piercing fear. And no wonder, these are wild animals.

For Jodi, it's the fear of food poisoning. An even greater fear is that you will be poisoned by your own cooked food. Even more - if her husband and sons were poisoned at the same time. She always checks five times to see if there are any accidental insects or something else in the dough or in the soup.

Who would have thought that Elliott has signs of lyssophobia. Although he is a very creative and philosophical person, among such people there are often individuals who are afraid to go crazy.

More than once or twice Demetrius refused Sebastian and Mary to have a puppy in the house. And this is not because he is harmful, but because he is terribly afraid of them (the dogs, not the kids).

George is afraid of what is inevitable and, sooner or later, will come to everyone without exception - old age.

It's not for nothing that Robin scolds her husband strongly when he almost set a fire in their house due to an unsuccessful experiment - the prospect of being burned alive in an inexorable flame in his own house scares the town carpenter the most. She treated the wood of their house for the sake of seriousness to minimize the possibility of a fire.

Maru can't stand honey, and that's because honey is the sweet nectar from honeycombs, one of the triggers of her trypophobia.

Sea sirens strike terror into the heart of every sailor, and Willy is no exception. An insidious angelic voice that cannot be resisted will pull you and your ship to the bottom, to be eaten by fish. Some mermaids are kind, but the old sea wolf knows what these sea demons can be.

There is no greater nightmare for Alex than the return of his biological father to the Pelican Town.

Somehow, I got the feeling that Lewis has signs of technophobia. All these gadgets, computers and newfangled smartphones cause him irritation, and then fear when he is forced to use one of them.

Poor Evelyn's heart was broken when she buried her daughter, and she fears more than anything that she will have to bury her grandson too... No mother/grandmother should bury their precious children.

The fear of tall objects, buildings, statues is one of the reasons why Gus decided to settle in a calm Valley, and not work as a cook in a huge metropolis.

[abubblingcandle]

Whumptober What Next Poll

So after finishing Call A Responsible Adult, my mind has been very flitty about what to write now. So as was suggested I've decided to do a poll to tell me what people want to see.

More detailed summaries are under the cut, if you want to know more about any fics then reply, reblog or send me an ask!

Day 6 - Ch2 Maybe Next Time He'll Think - Roy and Keeley have to manage and help Jamie through his breakdown at nearly killing his dad and try to make sure Jamie doesn't go to prison

Day 9 - Ch2 A Treatment Room Doors Moment - Both Jamie and Roy sulk after the end of the season and finding themselves lost and uncertain. Corwin gets dragged even further into this, Jamie texting is as irritating as Jamie talking and Roy decides what to do about his knee

Day 10 - Fool Me Twice, Shame on Me - Jamie spirals into isolating himself with Zava arrives, Zava doesn't like Jamie refusing to join Team Zava and starts to emotionally torment Jamie

Day 11/21 - untitled kidnapping fic - Denbo and Bug think Jamie is in Manchester during the off season and decide to rob his house. Turns out Jamie is in Richmond and they "accidentally" kidnap him

Day 12 - untitled death threats fic - Sam speaks out about politics again and this time starts getting hyper specific death threats. He can't sleep out of fear. Jamie helps.

Day 17 - Ch3 That's Chaos Theory - The usually tactile Jamie has a bad morning and then a melt down. Doesn't want anyone to touch him.

Day 18 - Fight, Flight or Kneecap - Roy decides to try another bizarre training strategy by blindfolding the strikers and having them take shots so they develop goal finding instinct. Jamie doesn't deal well with people approaching him when he can't see them.

Day 20 - untitled Jamie Babysitter fic - Phoebe has a cup final for her under 11 team and Coach Roy is out with the flu so can't come along. The Richmond boys come together to support her and make her feel better.

Day 26 - Sleep is for the Weak or Sleep for the Week - Roy is so stressed about being the manager he overworks himself. Jamie makes sure he rests

Day 29 - Ch4 Snap - After confronting his dad Jamie realises that he's pushing away everyone who cares about him and asks Beard for help understanding other people's feelings and being vulnerable without reflexively being a prick

[lapetitechatonne]

dp/dc ship week 2023 ideas

so, with ship week coming up i'm sure a lot of us are stumped on what ships we want to write. i know for me, i wanted to use it as an excuse to write ships i haven't gotten around to yet, or that have taken me by the throat. as the Batpham Server's Patron Saint of w|w and poly ships, i bring to you some rare pairs and ideas for ship week. these can be platonic or romantic!!!

First/Last

Jazz Fenton/Dick Grayson (Nightbirds) - you could play off how they're the first sibling, and if you want to make it angsty, how they're the last ones in their family to die.

Arranged Marriage AU

Danny Fenton/Duke Thomas (Will-o-Whisps) - Duke reads off of an artifact he found in the unused part of the manor and accidentally gives himself in marriage to the ghost king. after they figure it out, Danny decides he's pretty cute and asks him to coffee.

Holding Hands/Kiss

Dani Phantom/Lian Harper (Trick Shot) - it's hard to hold your girlfriend's hand when she makes you so nervous you turn into goo.

Soulmate AU

Valerie Gray/Kara Zor-El (Valkyrie) - for so long, when Valerie would write on her arm, no one would respond. when she decides that soulmates are a scam and she had bigger things to worry about, like keeping a roof over their heads, she finally gets a message in an unknown language.

Family/Friends

Dan Phantom/Tim Drake (Bad Ending) - with all their friends and family dead, a young Dan and Tim find themselves drawn together. with Dan's power and Tim's brain, nothing can stand in the way of this Bonnie and Clyde retelling.

Coffee Shop AU

Dani Phantom/Tim Drake (Travel Photos) - Tim didn't expect to find a girl on top of his favorite coffee shop when he snuck up to take photos of Batman and Robin. he gets her to trust him enough to go downstairs for a late-night hot chocolate and muffin.

Promise/Conflict

Jazz Fenton/Cassandra Cain (Speech Therapy) - Jazz promised Danny she would keep living after his death but she doesn't know how. Cass promised herself she'd never kill again, but if she isn't a killer what else is she? broken and conflicted, they meet each other.

Wings AU

Paulina Sanchez/Kara Zor-El (Star Struck) - Dragon!Paulina (whether she just kept some of the powers or was given the necklace by Dorathea) is flying around the midwest when she's spotted by another flying girl. naturally, they hit it off.

Secret Identity/Danger

Danny Fenton/Sam Manson/Tucker Foley/Tim Drake (Everlasting Insomniacs) - Tim is visited by a time god and given a mission to stop the catalyst of the end of the world. it starts with tutoring.

Friends to Lovers AU

Dani Phantom/Irey West (Short Circuit) - it's not abnormal to see a speedster in the Zone, in fact, you could even call it a normal occurrence. Dani's favorite visits are from a cute, sassy, redhead.

Fight/Heal

Sam Manson/Zatanna Zatara (Black Rabbit) - Zatanna didn't mess with necromancy. there were just some things magic shouldn't meddle in, and she knew that, so when the Justice League called her to interrogate a known necromancer, she's weary. Sam is at the same time exactly what Zatanna expected, and nothing like she thought. (fills the prompt because necromancy is the opposite of healing, which insinuates necromancy can heal too.)

Enemies to Lovers AU

Tucker Foley/Tim Drake (Techno Geek) - Tim is constantly trying to stop Hacktavist TooFine from breaking into the Wayne servers. it becomes something of a game, and Tim finds himself enthralled in the puzzle.

Royalty/Servitude

Jazz Fenton/Jason Todd/Roy Harper (Street Smarts) - Jason and Roy find themselves getting sacrificed by a cult to the Ghost King as his eternal servants. they weren't expecting Queen Regent Jazz to decline their offer.

No Capes AU

Danny Fenton/Clark Kent (Last Suns) - Danny always believed in aliens. it was part of the reason he became an astronaut. he never expected to actually meet one. he also never expected them to be a farmer.

this post has been such fun to make, i love a good rare pair and these prompts are killer. i won't be doing any of these, i have mine planned out already, but let me know if you'd like a sneak peek ;) or if you'd like more variations on the prompts. happy creating!!!

[papermoonloveslucy]

GEORGE REEVES

January 5, 1914

George Reeves was born George Keefer Brewer in Woolstock, Iowa. He is best known for his role as Superman in the television program “Adventures of Superman” (1952-58). His birth date is often listed as April 5, 1914, but that was born only five months after his parents' wedding and it was not until adulthood that he learned the truth. To further confuse matters, his mother made a mistake when having the urn containing his ashes inscribed and it reads January 6 instead of January 5.

Reeves began acting and singing in high school and continued performing on stage as a student at Pasadena Junior College. 

Reeves's film career took off in 1939 when he was cast as Stuart Tarleton (incorrectly listed in the film's credits as Brent Tarleton), one of Scarlett O'Hara's suitors (with Fred Crane, above left) in Gone with the Wind. Reeves dyed his hair red to portray one of the Tarleton twins. Lucille Ball read for the role of Scarlet O’Hara, one of hundreds of Hollywood starlets that vied for the role. References to the novel and iconic film can be found throughout her sitcoms.  Had she gotten the part, she would have been in the film with her future “I Love Lucy” actors Olin Howland, Irving Bacon, Alberto Morin, Shep Houghton, Ralph Brooks, and Hans Moebus. Sam McDaniel, brother of Mammy portrayer Hattie McDaniel, would be the first and only person of color to speak on “I Love Lucy” as the Porter in “The Great Train Robbery” (ILL S5;E5). Lucille Ball would one day own the back lot where the movie was filmed! 

Although Gone With the Wind was his first credited role in a feature film, a Warner Brothers short film titled Ride, Cowboy, Ride and the feature Espionage Agent were actually released three months earlier. 

While studying acting at the Pasadena Playhouse in 1940, Reeves married Ellanora Needles, granddaughter of circus magnate John Robinson. They had no children and divorced 10 years later.

Before his television fame as Superman, Reeves enlisted in the US Army and  appeared on Broadway in Winged Victory (1943) by Moss Hart (center).  The cast featured actual service members, including Sergeant George Reeves (above, behind Phyllis Avery).  He also appeared in the film version. 

Reeves made his television debut on September 29, 1949 in an episode (now lost) of the suspense anthology series “The Clock.”  Three weeks later he appeared in a second episode. 

His first episode of “Adventures of Superman” was “Superman on Earth” aired on September 19, 1952. Ross Elliott, who played Ricky Ricardo’s Press Agent on “I Love Lucy”, was cast as Jor-El, Superman’s father, but was replaced by Robert Rockwell, famous for playing Mr. Boynton on “Our Miss Brooks”.  Strangely, Elliott still receives screen credit. This first “Superman” also features Dani Sue Nolan, who was the wife of “I Love Lucy” director William Asher. Ironically, Asher did not direct the episode of “I Love Lucy” starring Reeves, which was staged by James V. Kern. 

Reeves appeared in all 104 episodes over 6 seasons of the ABC TV series. 

Initially shot and aired in black and white, the series (like “The Lucy Show”) was filmed in color starting with season 3. The first 26 episodes were filmed in 1951, the same year “I Love Lucy” started airing, but did not appear on television until 1952, when Kellogg's Cereals agreed to sponsor the show. Reeves was 44 years old during the filming of the sixth and final season, making him the oldest actor to have ever played Clark Kent / Superman in live-action. Although the Superman costume was padded to make it appear that Reeves had greater bulk, he did most of his own stunts.  The first season of the series was shot on the 40 Acres back lot that was part of RKO / Desilu Studios. 

On November 15, 1956, Reeves filmed the now-iconic “I Love Lucy” episode “Lucy and Superman” (ILL S6;E13), which premiered on January 14, 1957.  The episode was colorized on May 17, 2015. 

Keith Thibodeaux (Little Ricky) has said that this was his favorite episode of the series. He later talked about meeting Reeves...

Reeves is never mentioned by name in the dialogue or in the original credits. Lucie Arnaz later theorized that this was in order not to destroy the illusion that Superman was real to the many children who watched the show. In syndication, an announcer end credit was added for Reeve. The logic about the absent billing, however, is odd since Reeves was always credited on his own show. 

The final episode of the series was also Reeves’ final screen appearance. “All That Glitters” was also directed by Reeves, as were the previous two episodes. 

His death on June 16, 1959, from a gunshot remains a controversial subject; the official finding was suicide, but some believe that he was murdered or the victim of an accidental shooting. He was 45 years old. 

[sqoiler]

family swap au stuff

haley’s circus was in smallville for a rest stop and john and mary went out and were killed in a car crash

it was the talk of the town and martha and johnathan decided to take in their orphaned son, as he was around kara’s age (kara had just landed a few months ago and they thought she could use some company)

they tried to keep the alien thing a secret from dick but it was hard for kara not to brag (i mean come on she’s like 10 have u ever met 10 year olds)

so dick knew and demanded to meet superman and thought clark was the COOLEST EVER

and dick and kara become besties and then one day they’re on a field trip and they go to a lex corp lab for a field trip and one of the workers “accidentally” spills something on kara and dick sort of.jumps in front of her? and then it gets on them both and there’s an electric shock that gives dick kara’s powers. she still has powers but now he has a weird version of them, too

after this clark takes kara & dick and they both move into his apartment in metropolis so he can keep an eye on them and be there for their training

this all ended up with dick and kara sneaking off to the fortress as soon as they could both fly and making themselves suits and supergirl and superboy were born

dick & kara co-found the titans which consist of kid flash, speedy, aqualad, aquagirl, wonder girl, and starfire

the titans eventually disbanded but before that happened kara & babs dated for a while. they mutually broke up when babs decided to move back to atlantis and quit being aquagirl 

when the titans disbanded dick and kara decided to. move on and be a lil more solo so they became nightwing and flamebird

they were still partners but they worked less with clark or the titans and more with each other or justice leaguers 

their home base is still metropolis but they worked on cleaning up bludhaven and work worldwide

b’ara is an atlanteian and she’s the adopted daughter of orin & mera

she grew up a princess and she learned magic from her mom

when garth became aqualad, b’ara (who’s around his age) forced her dad to let her be aquagirl alongside him and garth and babs joined the titans together

babs & garth were always friends but never super close?

babs dated supergirl for a lil bit but when the titans disbanded babs decided she wasn’t so sure about being aquagirl anymore so she went home to atlantis to work with her mom some more

at some point babs went up to visit with her friends for a titans reunion and while she was up there she got shot in the back of the spine by a mugger and was paralyzed 

she had to stay up in the surface for a while after that and started doing tech stuff to help her dad with heroing

this led to her going up to the watchtower and helping the whole jl once she got really good at tech

she still goes to atlantis & can swim around still (her arms are ripped af)

cass & jason were twins born of shiva and given to cain

when they were around seven shiva showed up and killed cain and rescued her kids, leaving them with someone to take care of them. that person, of course, immediately dumped the kids in the first waste hole they could find. 

jason & cass are left in gotham and they’re both mini killers who cant talk, all alone on the streets. fun times

black canary, who occasionally teams up with batman, was in gotham and found the two of them, cold and alone

dinah was sorry for them and took them in, just for winter to get warm so she could dump them in the foster system

then she got attached and taught them how to talk and they got cursed by the wizard (who approached dinah about some sort of alternate timeline or something) and now they both had the same canary cry and before dinah knew it she made ollie pull some strings to legally adopt them and jason & cass lance were born

dinah worked to re-train them and when they were 11 cass and jason decided that it was far past time they became superheros and snuck out as gold & red canary

dinah loves them a lot but they really give her a headache sometimes

the three of them live in an apartment in star city and crash at ollie’s place a lot and when roy got addicted and ollie kicked him out dinah brought him in (cass & jason were still pretty little then) and they all bonded and roy’s basically their brother now

when tim & kon restarted the titans cass and jason became reserve members since they were a lil older 

cass & raven became really close friends through the titans

jason is close with gar and kid devil and others idk

cass and steph, another reserve member, become pretty close and become known as a nightmare pair

speaking of steph, 

she and her parents move to central when she’s like 3ish and crystal dies when steph is six

when steph’s 11 flash brings down cluemaster and adopts her

steph pressures wally into telling her how to get powers and executes the procedure and survives 

around this time, wally hung up the KF mantle, so she took it on

it only lasted a few years before she, too, had to give it up

when barry died and wally became the flash, steph picked up the mantle of dart and bart showed up soon after 

steph was a reserve member of the titans and befriended cass lance

she dated courtney whitmore when she was kid flash but when she retired they broke up

when she was dart steph & cassie got together and have been going strong since

she and damian became friends and ever since whenever hal looks at steph he gets a mini heart attack

t’hym m’orzz came to earth at the same time as his sister m’gann did, and they both sort of hung around before j’onn introduced them to kon, who’d recently come into existence, and the three of them hit it off and from kon’s older brother dick’s encouragement they re-started the titans

soon enough people like bart and cassie joined, bringing along steph and cass and jason and raven and gar an

t’hym and kon started dating and making plans to see the stars and generally being gay

duke thomas’s parents were killed by a wonder woman villain, and diana took duke in

duke convinced her to train him and she did 

the gods found out about this and blessed him with some powers (strength and flight) and he became wonder boy

he’s never been to themescyria and doesn’t really want to intrude or anything

he and cassie are best friends and when cassie joined the titans he wasn’t far behind

duke & diana have a mother/son relationship and cassie jokingly calls him her nephew since she and diana are sisters

duke and bart have mutual crushes on each other and are skirting around the issue atm

damian was dropped off with bruce and he was trying to convince him to be batboy or something when a green ring descended from the sky and announced that damian was the youngest green lantern of earth ever

bruce begrudgingly took him to hal who stuck him with jessica and simon

damian and jess immediately got along really well and it took longer but he and simon eventually got along, too

the three of them are known menaces among the green lanterns of earth and hal is eternally faceplanting at them all

damian & steph met when hal & barry started dating and all the lanterns decided to shovel talk barry

damian voice: allen PLEASE break jordan’s heart i don’t want him to be happy

steph: [snorts in laughter]

anyway damian & dick met when jon befriended damian (as new members of the new titans) and jon invited him over and dick was like “this is my new brother”

damian: hey father i have a new brother and sister now

bruce, tiredly: who

damian: stephanie allen and dick kent

bruce: im moving to ethiopia 

(feel free to ask me or my artblog @sam-and-crystal if you have any questions! <3)

[junker-town]

Baker Mayfield has the rest of the league coming after him

Nick Bosa got some long-awaited revenge on Baker Mayfield.

This week’s panic index is all about the QB. Mayfield has made a lot of enemies, Tom Brady’s looking older, and Patrick Mahomes is banged up.

A few weeks ago, we took a look at the starting quarterback situations throughout the league. Things did not appear to be going well for the NFL’s most important position.

And then something funny happened: most of these teams ended up just fine. The Saints have gone 3-0 with Teddy Bridgewater starting for Drew Brees. Same for Kyle Allen, who’s filling in for Cam Newton. Gardner Minshew has either led the Jaguars to a win or at least given them a chance to win every game. Daniel Jones has been way better than most of us thought he’d be!

Meanwhile, the Jets get Sam Darnold and his spleen back this week, and the Dolphins are at least giving Josh Rosen a shot.

Now, however, it’s the established quarterbacks we might need to worry about. Lamar Jackson and Dak Prescott have both slowed down after torrid starts. In his last 12 games, Jared Goff has a 13:14 touchdown-to-interception ratio. Patrick Mahomes has thrown one touchdown in the past two games. ONE.

What is going on? Like last time, will our hand-wringing be for nothing, or is there real reason to be concerned? Let’s check in on a handful of quarterbacks we all know and some love:

Baker Mayfield has made himself a big ol’ target with his antics

Baker Mayfield has always, unapologetically (or fake apologetically), been himself. You know what you’re getting with him. He’ll say what’s on his mind and a lot of the time, that means one thing: talking trash.

For some, he was a breath of fresh of air in the NFL, a league that doesn’t exactly encourage individualism. For others, he was a whiny brat who picked fights for no reason other than because he wanted to feel disrespected.

Nothing encapsulates that more than his first big national moment, before Mayfield even came into the NFL, when he planted the Oklahoma flag on Ohio State’s turf his senior year. That was supposed revenge for the Buckeyes singing their alma mater— a tradition the team does after every game, home or away — on OU’s field after they had beaten the Sooners in 2016.

No one had really forgotten about that, though many Ohioans had forgiven Mayfield’s behavior once he was drafted by the Browns and shot to stardom with his record-setting rookie season.

But you know who hadn’t forgiven Mayfield? Nick Bosa, who is a large, strong fella no one would ever want to be tackled by. And the rookie pass rusher finally got his payback two years later with a bullying performance in the 49ers’ dominant win over the Browns. Bosa totaled four tackles, two sacks (should’ve been three), two tackles for loss, a forced fumble, a fumble recovery, and two flag plants of his own:

Bosa with the flag ... wonder what that's about :) pic.twitter.com/gga4m46rUc

— James Brady (@JamesBradySBN) October 8, 2019

After the game, Bosa said Mayfield “had it coming.” Mayfield might want to treat those words a warning, because it’s not just Bosa that he has rubbed the wrong way.

Bosa’s teammate, Richard Sherman, said the 49ers were miffed when Mayfield snubbed them by running off immediately after the pregame coin toss (in what soon devolved into #HandshakeGate):

“He hasn’t earned anything in this league. How many games has he won? He’s acting like he was the MVP last year,” Sherman told Michael Silver. “You humble him every chance you get. Because eventually, he will have respect for the league.”

Sherman picked him off two minutes into the game.

Now, Mayfield — someone who is fueled by criticism, real or imagined — is giving his opponents extra motivation to come after him on the field.

Panic index: Mayfield doesn’t have to change his personality, but the best way he can shut the haters up is to start winning again. His numbers have dropped significantly in his second year as he’s struggled against any team with a good defense. So far, he’s completed just 55.9 percent of his passes for four touchdowns and a league-leading eight interceptions.

Based on what Bosa said — “He was panicking, rolling back and forth, double-clutching all game — Mayfield doesn’t seem to be playing with much confidence, either.

On the other hand, maybe getting a taste of his own medicine is the kind of spiteful incentive Mayfield needed to overcome his sophomore slump.

Tom Brady actually looks mortal

Could it be? Is the end of Brady’s reign of terror finally here?

Yeah, the Patriots are 5-0, but that’s mostly because of a No. 1 ranked defense that still hasn’t allowed a passing touchdown and has a league-leading 11 interceptions. Brady, on the other hand, has just been OK.

There are 10 starting quarterbacks with a passer rating in the triple digits — including Kyle Allen, Gardner Minshew, Mason Rudolph, and Kirk Cousins — but Brady is just below that mark. In Week 4, he threw for just 150 yards with no touchdowns and one interception against the Bills. Had the New England defense not forced four turnovers and held Buffalo to 10 points, Brady’s awful day would’ve cost his team a win.

While he bounced back with three touchdowns against Washington a week later, he still threw an uncharacteristically bad interception in the red zone.

oh WOW @MontaeNicholson #NEvsWAS pic.twitter.com/3XBwCXqvtc

— Washington Redskins (@Redskins) October 6, 2019

Brady is 42. It was only a matter of time before he stopped being one of the NFL’s best quarterbacks. Is that time now?

Panic index: Brady looked too old at times last year and still won a Super Bowl. The same was true in 2017, but he finished as the NFL MVP and, yep, he went to the Super Bowl.

If history is any indication, Brady can certainly bounce back. And even if this is the new normal for the 42-year-old version of Brady, the Patriots are still mowing through the competition.

Don’t count out Touchdown Tom.

Patrick Mahomes is not completely healthy

That’s a pretty concerning thing to read if you’re a Chiefs fan, or really just any NFL fan who enjoys seeing what a healthy Mahomes does on a weekly basis. But that’s the reality Kansas City is facing.

Mahomes suffered an ankle injury during the Chiefs’ Week 1 game against the Jaguars, and he re-aggravated it again during a Week 5 upset loss to the Indianapolis Colts. In Jacksonville, he sprained his left ankle while taking a sack:

Mahomes ankle injury here. Jaguars are trying to widen out right side and attack inside shoulders to allow Campbell to delay around. Fisher takes his defender wide but pocket is gone on Mahomes step up. #JacobsEyeInTheSky pic.twitter.com/oBfxTweGRR

— Nick Jacobs (@Jacobs71) September 10, 2019

He left briefly to get the ankle taped, though he did finish out the game.

That same ankle got hurt again when it got rolled up on in the first half against the Colts. Then in the second half, his own lineman, Cameron Erving, accidentally stepped on it after he got pushed back from the line:

Here's how the Patrick Mahomes ankle injury got worse. Some friendly fire from an offensive lineman. #Chiefs #Colts #INDvsKC #SNF pic.twitter.com/5k6QSJaTSe

— Billy Heyen (@Wheyen3) October 7, 2019

Mahomes hasn’t missed a game yet all season, but it’s clearly bothering him. He was limping around on Sunday night and wasn’t moving as well in and out of the pocket as he usually does. His numbers are just one indication of that. He’s thrown just one touchdown pass in his last two games, and he’s missing his receivers a little more.

Even more, he won’t get a bye week until Week 12, which doesn’t give Mahomes much time to rest his ankle.

Panic Index: While Mahomes’ numbers have dipped a little in recent weeks, he’s still leading the league in passing yards, yards per throw, fewest (zero) interceptions thrown (zero). Th Chiefs can get ye for a while with a semi-healthy Mahomes. After all, he can still do this even when he’s hampered:

#SomethingGood ("but, but Pringle" - chill folks it was a good play) Mahomes is hobbled on 3rd and 28, but still manages to step up after feeling backside pressure and finds Pringle across the field who makes one guy miss and yes, probably could have ran outside for a first down. pic.twitter.com/aSi05K4Bve

— Kent Swanson (@kent_swanson) October 8, 2019

However, their best shot at taking down the Patriots for the AFC championship means having Mahomes at full speed.

Last time, Mahomes was able to bounce back from his Week 1 injury to throw four touchdowns the next game. As long as he doesn’t keep re-injuring his ankle or getting stepped on by his own teammates, he should be fine.

NFL defenses have caught up to Daniel Jones

Daniel Jones rewarded general manager Dave Gettleman’s faith in his first two starts as a Giant. 2019’s sixth overall pick got off to a 2-0 start by leading an 18-point second-half comeback against the Buccaneers and then dusting Washington in his follow-up.

But cracks began to form in Week 4, and they threatened to crumble Jones’ game one week later. The New York quarterback’s magic ran out against the Vikings, whose smothering defense afforded him few opportunities. They held him to a dire 4.8 yards per pass, with 13 of his 21 completions coming within five yards of the line of scrimmage, while seven didn’t make it past where the ball had been snapped.

In his past two games, Jones has two touchdown passes and three interceptions. Things will get worse before they get better. Not only does the rookie have to face the league’s stingiest defense on Thursday night when he faces Bill Belichick’s Patriots, but he’ll be without several of his most important weapons.

Saquon Barkley doesn’t know if he’ll be playing thanks to the ankle sprain he suffered in Week 3. Wayne Gallman left Week 5 with a head injury and has been limited in practice since. Sterling Shepard is dealing with his second concussion of the season and will miss an undisclosed amount of time to recover. Evan Engram, by far the team’s top target so far, is unlikely to play Thursday night thanks to a sprained MCL. Golden Tate is back in the lineup after serving a four-game PED suspension, but he had just three catches (on six targets) for 13 yards in his 2019 debut.

As a result, Jones will be throwing passes to a receiving corps where only one player — Bennie Fowler, who was released last week— has double-digit receptions through five weeks. His running game could be anchored by undrafted rookie Jon Hilliman and his 2.8 yard per carry average.

That’s a rough situation for a rookie quarterback who needs all the help he can get against the defending champions on the road.

Panic index: Expectations are low for Thursday night; New York is a 16.5-point underdog in its quest to get back to .500 on the season. Fortunately for Jones, Baker Mayfield already set a fairly tragic standard for the rookie to avoid being the most disappointing quarterback of this calendar week.

[newnormalhq-blog]

RANDOM PAIRINGS UNDER THE CUT!

Hey there, everyone! As promised, under the cut are your random thread pairings, and prompts to go along with them! If you have any questions or anything needs to be changed, please, feel free to let the admin team know, and we’ll work things out.

For now, enjoy!

UPDATE: Wanda Maximoff is now paired with Laura Kinney, and America Chavez is now paired with Kitty Pryde!

DAMIAN WAYNE + KAREN PAGE

God, he seems so young to be out on his own, doesn’t he? And with all the people around him in that alleyway, moaning and groaning in and various states of disarray, what kind of person would Karen be if she didn’t stop and help?

TJ WAGNER + FELICIA HARDY 

Turned around and totally lost in a new city—a new universe, even—TJ finds herself in a seedier part of town. In comes Felicia, the night’s bounty in hand, and immediately, TJ feels like there’s something off. Two of them, alone, on a darkened street, in a shady part of town? Nothing could go wrong.

SELINA KYLE + CLINT BARTON

After spending yet another night in Stark Tower, Selina runs into Clint. Immediately interested by his bow and arrows, she makes it her goal to get Clint to be her friend—if only to steal a few of those trick arrows for herself. Just for fun.

HARVEY DENT + JAMES RHODES

Harvey isn’t very good with machines, but seeing the man struggling, he’s going to do his best to help out—unfortunately for Rhodey, that might not end up going exactly as planned.

BARRY ALLEN + JUNE MOONE

June is sketching in the park when, before she could even realize what was happening, there’s a man standing in front of her with a coffee cup dangerously close to slipping out of his hand and onto her paper. It’s a close call, and she’s about to say excuse me, when, of course, someone bumps Barry’s arm, and suddenly, there’s coffee everywhere. 

DICK GRAYSON + BOBBI MORSE

A joint investigation with the SCPD and SHIELD should be smooth sailing, but for the life of them, these two just can’t seem to get on the same page about the Genovese case. It’s not going to be long before they start exchanging blows in the conference room. 

STEPHANIE BROWN + CASSIE LANG

Concerts are fun, they certainly aren’t as fun when you’re alone—needing a break from the constant shoving of the crowd, the girls bump into each other when they go outside for a break.

JASON TODD + KATE BISHOP

Pfft. He’s seen better. She’s not even as cute as Roy—and he’s going to be sure to let Kate know of that fact. Even if they are in the middle of fighting some baddies. 

FRANK CASTLE + JAIME REYES

Frank is dealing with a broken down car, and he’s supposed to be getting somewhere in a hurry—thankfully, Jaime is around to help him out. The only problem is that if Frank isn’t exactly where he needs to be in 15 minutes, he’s missing out on his only shot to get....whatever it is he needs to do, done.

HOWARD REYES + (TIME-DISPLACED) WARREN WORTHINGTON

Picking pockets is easy, but when Howie slips slightly and brushes up against Warren’s back, things get a whole lot more interesting. Of course, he steals the wallet anyway—Warren, noticing it before it’s too late, takes off after him to get his wallet back. 

PEPPER POTTS + SARA LANCE

Pepper is no stranger to danger, not when she’s spent so much time close to Tony Stark, but assassins are a little bit different. Sara, knowing that these people are after her, refuses to let anything happen to Pepper—but that easier said than done. 

LAURA KINNEY + WANDA MAXIMOFF

It’s less than easy being a mutant in this city, that much is for sure. Anti-mutant protests have been springing up all over the city, and while the number of them have been declining lately, that doesn’t make them any less terrifying when they crop up. Wanda just wants to keep walking—Laura looks ready to get in a fight.

BARBARA GORDON + JONNY FROST

Jim told Jonny to leave his daughter out of it—but honestly, Jonny’s never been good at following the rules. Surprisingly, however, he’s helpful and kind to Barbara, if only to further his own agenda.

BILLY BATSON + IRIS WEST

Working on the easy stories has never been Iris’ forte, and the current story she’s working on is about the ban—and while searching for sources, she quite literally stumbles upon the best source possible. How could she write a story on heroes without input from a hero himself?

NYSSA AL GHUL + ERIK LEHNSHERR

Nyssa is finding more and more that coming here to get Sara might not have been the best plan—and she’s searching the city for something, anything, any source of inspiration to make things click together. Erik isn’t one to pry, but a woman dressed as an assassin certainly seems like someone worth investigating. 

WINN SCHOTT + KAROLINA DEAN

Winn is used to being the one being saved (a side effect of being a civilian in this city) but when the girl who’s saving him looks like she’s made of literal rainbows, well—he can’t help but feel a little ridiculous.

KURT WAGNER + DIANA PRINCE

Kurt is blue, and that can get difficult to deal with—especially when he walks out of a building to see a group of anti-mutant protestors he has to push through. Diana, noticing his apprehension, decides to help as best she can, but the protestors aren’t so willing to just let them pass. 

 VIV VISION + DANIEL RAND-KAI

Viv isn’t particularly fazed by people being unkind to her but Daniel, upon witnessing the scene, is furious. He decides to step in. 

BUCKY BARNES + TIM DRAKE

Bucky’s arm isn’t working, and he’s shit out of luck. Tim thinks he can fix it, but Bucky is wary to say the least—but the way his arm is glitching, well. Bucky can’t decide what he’s more nervous about.

ROY HARPER + TONY STARK

Tony gave his boyfriend a goddamn dog, and Roy still hasn’t met him. He decides that needs to change.

PIETRO MAXIMOFF + JAINA HUDSON

The White Rabbit is fast—but Quicksilver is faster. Whatever the hell got these two into a disagreement, everyone else better steer clear. 

PETER PARKER + TOMMY SHEPHERD 

It’s midterms season, which means cramming for these two—after chugging about four energy drinks each, however, they’re bouncing off the walls. Now, Tommy is trying to convince Peter that they should suit up—what’s the worst that could happen?

KITTY PRYDE  + AMERICA CHAVEZ 

Of course, the one day it rains in Star City, it pours. And of course, that’s the day America and Kitty forget their umbrellas, leaving them stuck inside a large store. They’re wandering the aisles when the power goes out—leaving them in the pitch black. 

JESSE CHAMBERS + ROSEMARY ATKINSON

Studying for midterms is stressful—but at least it’s a little less stressful in a pastry shop. After noticing Jesse sitting in the corner poring over her textbook for hours on end, Rosemary decides to give the girl a reason to take a study break—a cupcake and a quick distraction.

JUBILATION LEE + SAM WILSON

After everything that happened with the man who tried to kill her, Jubilee is a little jumpy—which is more than fair. Sam, leaving his office, notices that the young woman seems a little agitated, and tries to help as best he can.

ADALINE LANGSTON + CASSANDRA CAIN 

Cass accidentally let Alfred the cat out of the manor—it was definitely an accident, obviously, but she also obviously cannot let Damian find out. Adaline is looking for the owner of a cat she found, but Cass can’t quite tell if that cat is Damian’s cat—and she knows bringing home another cat would be even worse than just losing the cat. 

KORIAND’R + DAISY JOHNSON 

Daisy just needs a drink—and thankfully, the bar is empty. Kory is more than happy to just spend some time talking to the other woman, but when a group of rowdy drunkards walk in, their quiet time is heavily disrupted. 

JOKER + JIM GORDON

My, my, Jimmy! You can’t drag in Jonny-Jonny and hold him for hours and hours and expect to get out of it without any commotion! 

JAMIE-DEAN ATON + NATASHA ROMANOFF

Natasha has seen that look before. Something with JD feels off, but she can’t quite place what it is. However, Natasha isn’t one to leave a mystery unsolved—so, while she’s talking to him, she’s trying to do a little digging, too. 

ROBBIE REYES + JESSICA JONES

Bar fights seem to be Jessica’s scene lately, and Robbie just knows that he wants no part of it—somehow, he gets dragged in, anyway. After everything is over, they have to deal with the carnage before the cops show up. 

CHRIS KENT + MON-EL

It’s always strange to meet someone who’s like you, especially when you’re an alien in a sea of humans. It’s even stranger when Mon-El know who Chris is, but not the other way around. 

ZATANNA ZATARA + DODGER

Dodger knows of someone who has an artifact that Zatanna is after—and while he’s willing to sell, he’s only willing to sell to Dodger. Now, Zatanna has to convince him to do this, but it doesn’t look like there’s anything in it for him. Zatanna has to convince him. 

HARLEEN QUINZEL + KATIE POWER

Hunky-Dory is missing! Harley is sure he’ll come back, but still, enlisting some help on the way, she’s hunting through the streets to find him. 

GABRIEL SUMMERS + WADE WILSON

Yikes, Gabriel has a kid? Oh boy, Wade knows that he should probably steer clear, but something about the guy looks familiar—he can’t help but get closer to get a better look at the father and son.

SHARON CARTER + ANNA MARIE

Sharon can take care of herself, she knows that, but Star City is far from safe at night. It’s definitely a relief to know that Anna Marie is in the same boat—and she won’t have to walk home alone. 

HOWARD STARK + HOLLY ROBINSON

Holly isn’t known for being particularly patient with people who don’t seem to show her respect—and she’s fairly sure that Howard is just about the worst person she’s met in a long, long time in that regard. 

STEVE ROGERS + SCOTT SUMMERS

Laser eyes—at least, what he assumes are laser eyes—are a new one, but Steve takes it in stride, using his shield to deflect the beams before any damage could be done. But why is this kid using his power on Steve—what could he have done to make it necessary?

[consource]

The Gaspee Affair and the Constitutional Origins of the American Revolution

By Sebastian van Bastelaer, ConSource Program Manager

           On this date in 1772, angry colonists (some of them associated with the Sons of Liberty) ambushed and burned the HMS Gaspee off the coast of Rhode Island. Considered a key incident in the years preceding the American Revolution, the so-called Gaspee Affair demonstrated the Americans’ disdain for British imperial navigation policies. Lieutenant William Dudingston, the captain of the Gaspee, was rewarded for his vigorous enforcement of these policies with a musket ball in the groin. Though the incident did not lead to outright rebellion, it is often cited (along with the Boston Tea Party) as an example of the colonists’ willingness to break the law to protest British trade policy.[i] One historian wrote, that perhaps the fire directed at Dudingston “was really an earlier ‘shot heard ‘round the world.’”[ii]

           The Gaspee Affair, however, does more than reemphasize the refractory nature of the Sons of Liberty and their supporters. The political and constitutional debates that had been simmering in the Thirteen Colonies since the end of the Seven Years’ War helped impel the colonists to set the sloop ablaze in June 1772. Those debates, and unified resistance to British coercion, only intensified as colonial administrators sought to bring the perpetrators to justice. Battles over jurisdiction and the contradictory nature of the American political system under British rule intensified and were brought to the forefront thanks to the actions of these Rhode Islanders—these disputes would reverberate over the next several decades as the colonists began to pursue independence and define themselves as a nation.

           In March 1772, the Gaspee arrived off the coast of Rhode Island. The tiny colony, which was known for its nonconformity, had historically countenanced smuggling into and out of its ports, in violation of British navigational policy. Lieutenant Dudingston scrutinized and harassed many boats in Narraganset Bay, drawing the ire of merchants and leaders accustomed to laxity. The Providence Gazette called Dudingston “haughty, insolent and intolerable,” describing the arbitrary punishments he had inflicted upon Rhode Islanders.[iii] Deputy governor Darius Sessions complained to Wanton that the ship had “much disturbed our Navigation. She suffers no vessel to pass, not even packet boats, or others of an inferior kind, without a strict examination, and where any sort of unwillingness is discovered, they are compelled to submit, by an armed force.”[iv]

Dudingston disregarded protocol and failed to present his commission to the elected governor, Joseph Wanton, upon arrival, widening the rift between the Rhode Islanders and their new naval overseers. Wanton and Dudingston exchanged a series of thorny letters underscoring the conflict of authority. After the ornery captain condescended, “I have done nothing but what was my duty, and their [the colonists’] complaint can only be founded on their ignorance of that,” Wanton accused him of failing to “give me that satisfaction I had a right to expect.”[v] Admiral John Montagu, Dudingston’s superior officer, chided Wanton for his impertinence, and ominously warned that if any Rhode Islanders attempted to aid smugglers or obstruct the Gaspee’s operations, he would “hang them as pirates.”[vi] In a fiery response, the governor maintained that Dudingston had never presented his commission; thus, “it was altogether out of my power to know, whether he came hither to protect us from pirates, or was a pirate himself.”[vii]

On the evening June 11, the Gaspee pursued a boat called Hannah, which the British suspected of smuggling. The British vessel accidentally found itself aground in a narrow river, approximately five miles from the town of Providence. As eyewitness Ephraim Bowen later recounted, “About the time of the shutting up of the shops after sunset, a man passed along the Main street beating a drum and informing the inhabitants of the fact, that the Gaspee was aground on Namquit Point, and would not float off until 3 o’clock the next morning, and inviting those persons who felt a disposition to go and destroy that troublesome vessel.”[viii] Around midnight, a passel of colonists set out in rowboats with the oars muffled to reduce noise. As the boats approached, the British sentinels called out, but received no immediate reply. Dudingston climbed to a high point and demanded that the strangers identify themselves. After several such orders, a man named Abraham Whipple allegedly replied, “I am the sheriff of the county of Kent, G-d d—n you. I have got a warrant to apprehend you, G-d d—n you; so surrender, G-d d—n you.”[ix] Unable to train the ship’s guns on the invaders, Dudingston prepared his men to use muskets to defend the Gaspee. As monitored the situation, however, a shot rang out, striking Dudingston—in the adroitly crafted language of the time—“five inches below his navel.”[x] The crew surrendered the ship, which was summarily set ablaze.

Immediately after the news arrived, both the colonists and the British prepared for a fight over the legitimacy and proper punishment of the incident. A legal quandary quickly arose. One historian argued: “the difficulties centered around the question: what laws, English or American, might constitutionally, that is to say, legally or justifiably impinge upon the colonists.”[xi] The British government were resolved to punish the perpetrators as pirates and traitors, and opted to establish a powerful Royal Commission in Newport to investigate; naval historian Sam Willis remarked that “This was the first time that British politicians in London had acted to punish any of the numerous examples of violence that had taken place against British maritime authority in North America.”[xii] This unprecedented act provoked outrage. Wanton, though a Loyalist, contended that the “‘admiralty hath no jurisdiction” because the Gaspee was thirty miles from sea.[xiii] Willis continued,  “The constitutional principle behind the inquiry – that the British were going to extradite the offenders – was widely despised in America.”[xiv] In fact, this common complaint regarding extradition even appeared in the Declaration of Independence, which accused King George III “For transporting us beyond seas, to be tried for pretended offenses,” rather than trying accused criminals in the colonies.[xv]

Strident complaints against the Commission came from throughout New England. Pamphleteers and printers, styling themselves “Friends of Freedom,” “refused even the least acknowledgment of the jurisdiction of the court of inquiry.”[xvi] In the Providence Gazette, one author urged the royal commissioners not “to make any Concession in Submission whereby a Precedent shall be introduced and established which may be fatal to the Freedom of their own Constitution and the Liberties of America.”[xvii] John Allen, a minister in Boston, delivered a sermon entitled An Oration upon the Beauties of Liberty, or the Essential Rights of the Americans. He argued, “it is not rebellion to oppose any King, Ministry, or Governor that destroys by any violence or authority whatever, the Rights of the People… FINALLY. Let all lovers of Liberty, truth and justice now unite as one man in recovering and finally establishing the Liberties of America: That the American Parliament may enjoy every power and privilege the English Parliament enjoy.’”[xviii] His powerful speech, which was reprinted seven times and “became the most widely read sermon and the most popular public address in the years before independence,” asserted that two legislatures could not both control the same area.[xix] William R. Leslie praised the speech, saying, “only here is there to be found a complete resolution of the basic conflict of laws and jurisdictions inherent in the Gaspee affair.”[xx]

Condemnations of the government’s actions in the Gaspee incident’s aftermath were not limited to the northeastern colonies. Essays and articles reappeared all over the continent; news of the ship’s demise appeared in nearly one-third of the newspapers in the Thirteen Colonies within six weeks of the incident.[xxi] Virginia called for committees of correspondence to be formed; these bodies, which were vital in organizing resistance to British policies before and during the War for American Independence, had soon appeared in ten colonies.[xxii]

In the end, the Royal Commission was unable to find sufficient evidence to charge any of the conspirators. Their final report lamented that there was “no probability of our procuring any further light on the subject determines our inquiry.”[xxiii] The commissioners thus evaded an even bigger showdown over the conflicting jurisdictions governing the Gaspee case, one which could have accelerated the march towards revolution. Yet the expressive actions of the arsonists, as well as the sentiments articulated by writers and orators, provide a keen insight into the evolution of American political thought as the colonies hurtled toward war. Many of the constitutional theories voiced during the crisis would continue to mature throughout the 1770s and 1780s as disputes festered over the constitutional relationship between colonists and the imperial government. These ideas would then continue to grow and develop as the newly independent nation questioned the proper nature of the central government in the United States. As Leslie concluded, “they who discussed the Gaspee affair should be given much credit for seeing so clearly the realities of sharp conflicts of laws and jurisdictions. Their discussions produced constitutional formulae which were a very long step toward the creation of a federal system… The Gaspee affair, therefore, has a most important place in the conceptual development of the American constitutional system.”[xxiv]

Sources:

The Documentary History of the Destruction of the Gaspee. Edited by William R. Staples. Providence, RI: Knowles, Vose and Anthony, 1845.

Jefferson, Thomas. The Declaration of Independence.” 1776.

Leslie, William R. “The Gaspee Affair: A Study of Its Constitutional Significance.” Mississippi Valley Historical Review Vol. 39, No. 2, September 1952, 233-256.

Willis, Sam. The Struggle for Sea Power: A Naval History of the American Revolution. New York: W.W. Norton & Company, 2016.

York, Neil L.“The Uses of Law and the Gaspee Affair” Rhode Island History, Vol. 50 No. 1, 1992, 3-21.

[i] Neil L. York, “The Uses of Law and the Gaspee Affair” (Rhode Island History, Vol. 50 No. 1, 1992, 3-21), 3.

[ii] William R. Leslie, “The Gaspee Affair: A Study of Its Constitutional Significance” (Mississippi Valley Historical Review Vol. 39, No. 2, September 1952, 233-256), 233.

[iii] Sam Willis, The Struggle for Sea Power: A Naval History of the American Revolution (New York: W.W. Norton & Company, 2016), 30.

[iv] “Letter from Deputy General Darius Sessions to Governor Joseph Wanton, March 21, 1772,” found in The Documentary History of the Destruction of the Gaspee (edited by William R. Staples, Providence, RI: Knowles, Vose and Anthony, 1845), 3.

[v] “Letter from Lieutenant Dudingston to Governor Wanton, March 23, 1772,” found in Documentary History, 4; “Letter from Governor Wanton to Lieutenant Dudingston, March 23, 1772,” found in Documentary History, 4.

[vi] “Letter from Admiral Montagu to Governor Wanton, April 6, 1772,” found in Documentary History, 5.

[vii] “Letter from Governor Wanton to Admiral Montagu, May 8, 1772,” found in Documentary History., 5.

[viii] “Ephraim Bowen’s Account,” found in Documentary History, 8.

[ix] Ibid., 8.

[x] Leslie, “The Gaspee Affair,” 236.

[xi] Ibid., 234.

[xii] Willis, The Struggle for Sea Power, 34.

[xiii] Cited in Leslie, “The Gaspee Affair,” 237.

[xiv] Willis, The Struggle for Sea Power, 34.

[xv] Thomas Jefferson, “The Declaration of Independence” (1776).

[xvi] Leslie, “The Gaspee Affair,” 252-253.

[xvii] Cited in York, “The Use of Law,” 9.

[xviii] Leslie, “The Gaspee Affair,” 251.

[xix] Willis, The Struggle for Sea Power, 35.

[xx] Leslie, “The Gaspee Affair,” 251.

[xxi] Willis, The Struggle for Sea Power, 35.

[xxii] York, “The Use of Law,” 10.

[xxiii] “Report of the Royal Commission, Newport, June 22, 1773,” found in Documentary History, 54.

[xxiv] Leslie, “The Gaspee Affair,” 256.

[leagueofawesomedudes]

Week 4 Preview

After a less than satisfying recap from LOAD Presidente I figured we could get a little 2 for 1 action here. No shit talking, just wasn’t your best effort, you ruined a fantastic week of football and possibly the entire evening. But the original OG preview/recapper is here to pick up the slack. I mean honestly who doesn’t love a little 2fer action, 2 girls 1 weekend, 2 fingers 1 hole, and 2 giant LOADS 1 night comin at ya. Not only do we have some promising divisional matchups this week, we have some steaming hot (dude) LOAD matchups. Not to mention the return of this guy to Cleveland Friday after a 1 week hiatus to give little Solden a rest (plus my bed is a little comfier than hugging the toilet). But seriously, if Chad doesn’t step up with Lexi, my best bud Dom (unless he teases drunk Solden with tequila shots) will take our next step into the promised land and become brothers. Of the eskimo variety. Alright, back to football. Let’s get after it.

Holla’s Heavy Hitters (1-2) VS. 2 Gurleys 1 Cup (2-1)

After accidentally shouting out Sam for his name in the introduction, it’s safe to say this will be roast session on Sam. I mean honestly, could you think of a more annoying friend to win this much in fantasy? Mostly kidding roomie. Holla has some decisions for this week as his current lineup is relies heavily on a 2 hard hitting games (get it?) Atlanta facing a Buffalo defense that still hasn’t given up a passing touchdown this year and Tennessee at Houston which could be a snooze fest or actually fun to watch. Sam has some favorable matchups as his RB’s face defenses who have been struggling stopping it and Jameis facing a Giants team that’s never the same week to week. I gotta go with my guy Holla this week as I see both of his premier games being shootouts. And I mean seeing as no one else has banged a 50+ year old, who am I to bet against him.

Holla’s Heavy Hitters > 2 Gurleys 1 Cup

Ain’t EZ Bein Breezy (0-3) VS. Jon SnOBJs (1-2)

A lesser man would probably pack it in and call it quits after an 0-3 start, hell relationship Matt with a bush on his chest probably would too. But not this guy, we’re staying positive and sticking it wherever it fits. The only two to make a trade this year are already facing off as we see who got the better hand. I expect Brees to continue to shred it up but need some consistent help from my wingmen receiving core, after all everyone loves a good assist besides Sam. Chad is somehow more blacked out than me on a Wednesday reading this thinking he’s in a good spot. I do have to agree as his trio of receivers are locked in for solid performances but expect Chris Thompson to come back down to earth and minimal production from the rest. With that being said, Chad will be face first in a bottle of Tito’s this weekend living it up knowing he’s walking away with another win this weekend as I fall to a pitiful 0-4.

Jon SnOBJ’s > Ain’t EZ Bein Breezy

The Brady Bunch (1-2) VS. Julio Tones (3-0)

I thought about making this the matchup the week but I couldn’t let that be that boring with Doug being involved. I’m not sure anyone could have predicted the monster starts TB12 and Kareem Hunt would be off to. But just like any conversation with Doug goes, it slows down and becomes about Parker or IT as I see happening this week with those hosses. Still not sure how TJ nabbed this team but unlike his pants it is LOADed. I’m almost tempted to rosterbate to another mans team. That’s not weird you’re weird shut up dude. Continued success from his big 3 receivers (who honestly might be able to compete with Boston’s “big 3″ on the hardwood) and beefy backs I see TJ falling asleep at dive bar all the way to victory.

Julio Tones > The Brady Bunch 

G-reg 3rd Leg (1-2) VS. Little Diggs (2-1)

The matchup of the two people who have probably seen each other the least out of this whole group. Bennett feeling a little of the Cinci neglect can wag his little pecker in celebration that his just wait and see strategy finally paid off. Jordy and Aaron are set to have big weeks again against Da Bears (Mitchell starting week 8 you heard it here first) and the woman beater himself will probably go off against the Browns. Seriously Bennett, what the fuck is wrong with you drafting a black guy like that? I expect Dom to tinker the hell out of his lineup after a week like that but the decisions are easy this week as every position is projected over 15 points besides the kicker and D. You still don’t fuck more than me. I expect Dom to pull back the tequila shot of victory back on Bennett and take this one all the way back to the butthole (ass eating season is always in season).

Little Diggs > G-reg 3rd Leg

The Injured Reserve (2-1) VS. Crows Before Hoes (2-1)

Interesting matchup here as the tallest and smallest square off. The newly wifed up LOAD member against the 2nd newest wifed up member. The morning after boozing pacer against the thinks he’s a big time beat maker. That’s right, with the surprise pick I’m coming atcha with the MATCHUP OF THE WEEK. ch503710 (it’s been nice knowing ya) goes into the week coming off monster performances from key players and hoping to see Gillislee and Rudolph join the fun. Pauly finally gets a big week from Kirky and half his squad ends up as questionable as his sexuality. No way Oakland doesn’t rebound after that pitiful week so see Crabtree to rack up some points Mike Evans and the renewed fan favorite old man Larry against the 49ers. I see this one being a nailbiter, but expect Paul’s dreams to come true as these large black men carry him to the promised land of victory. Speed kills, and I mean who else can get 25 rushing yards on Alabamas defense??

Crows Before Hoes > The Injured Reserve

In conclusion, I’m ready to go 5-0 with my picks this week and reclaim my throne of the ultimate LOAD layer this weekend. Paul - I think it’s been 5 minutes since you showed a group of girls your abs. Boom Roasted. Casey - You have a girlfriend. Boom Roasted. Doug - The only thing worse than your 401k plan is having to hear about it every weekend. Boom Roasted. Bennett - Have you fallen asleep at your kitchen table lately? Boom Roasted. Holla - Are we too cool to hang out with the friends you got at the hillbilly convention? Boom Roasted. Chad - Do you know what the difference between you and an alcoholic is? Nothing, seriously text me we need to talk. Boom Roasted. Sam - The only thing worse at closing than you is a revolving door. Boom Roasted. Dom - How you get laid every weekend wearing clothes off the mannequins in the little boys section? Boom Roasted.  TJ - I like you better now that you’re not at Kent changing your major ever 2 weeks. Boom Roasted.

Much love my dudes but someone’s gotta keep you in check. Ready for a big fantasy free agency add/drops at 4am from Dom and seeing how the waiver wire works. Let’s get an early start Friday and keep the train rolling into the Tribe playoffs. And Holla, seriously invite me to your next gathering of guys that ring of fire wrestling looked wild.  

Solden out.