#salome recommends

[salomeslashes]

I am once again thinking about Kill for Love by Laura Picklesimer. It's a lot like American Psycho but if Patrick Bateman was a sorority girl (and the book was actually one I enjoyed). I highly recommend it to anyone interested in that vibe.

if you truly wanted to remake american psycho for the modern day you would cast a young 20 something hot woman and make it about social media “amazon must buy” influencers and how it’s a shallow, empty, and extremely copy-paste job where you turn yourself into a salesperson for the smallest amount of commission and lose all originality of yourself. bc those girls that go to bed with literal tape over their mouths and after doing a 10 step skincare routine are closer to being patrick bateman than literally any man alive

[salomeslashes]

Okay, know what? Here are some non-horror recs just for you!

The Broken Earth Trilogy by N. K. Jemisin (First book is The Fifth Season. Adult Fantasy, in which this apocalypse is just another in a long line of apocalypses. This one wrecked me.)

Every Heart a Doorway by Seanan McGuire (YA/Adult Fantasy. Along with the rest of the Wayward Children series, this book follows young adults who have returned to our world after having spent time in others. Contains stellar queer and trans rep [including an ace character!].)

The Hazel Wood by Melissa Albert (YA Fantasy. A blend of fairytale/folktale and urban fantasy that takes a HECK of a journey and explores some fascinating themes. This one especially screams your name, as far as I can tell.)

[actnormalsalome]

So my spouse and I are watching Steven Universe (my first time) and we're currently mid season 3. One thing that's striking me (apart from how much love is contained in this show and how regularly it has me crying over breakfast) is that aspects of Steven's growing up are really, really resonating with me.

I was unschooled as a kid. Like homeschooling but with less structure. I also have two moms, and most of their friends are queer as well. It was just my everyday experience. I thought nothing of it.

I still remember the absolute horror I felt when I experienced homophobia firsthand for the first time. I was 9 or 10 years old, and we were living somewhere pretty rural. In the intervening years my moms have told me that the locals assumed they were the mom and the nanny. I had no idea.

Then one day, I mentioned my moms to local kids (a brother and sister we knew). They asked questions, but these questions were coming from a place of disgust. Contempt. You mean you have two moms? And they kiss each other? And I was just sort of like...yeah? Because it's normal? Your mom and dad kiss each other, what's the big deal?

In the next six months, a few things happened.

We stopped getting calls for my little brother and I to hang out with local kids.

I got second place in a town fair category in which I was the only entry.

We moved back to my hometown after having lived in the area in relative peace for three years.

I didn't connect these experiences to why Steven's experiences were resonating with me until Ruby and Sapphire. When I saw the visceral reaction their fusion garnered from people in more mainstream gem society and the confusion Steven felt about that disgust, I recognized it immediately.

Their society is homonormative and the idea of forming relationships outside of those bounds (such as with gems of other types), though totally normal to Steven, is a matter of horror to the gems in power.

But those relationships are good! They are never portrayed as bad! Instead, and this is what punched me in the chest about the whole thing, the reveal was the prejudice.

I've never seen media capture this experience. Ever. The protagonist is always overcoming their own prejudice. I still have not recovered.

[trans-corvo]

Here’s the watchlist for my thesis in case anyone is curious about old-timey german movies that explore ‘deviant’ forms of sexuality and gender.

[actnormalsalome]

If you like this vibe, I strongly recommend the novel Such Sharp Teeth by Rachel Harrison. It takes werewolf mythos and makes it less a coming-of-age metaphor (which we've all seen umpteen times) and more an exploration of trauma, anger, and autonomy. I adored it.

werewolves are the intersection between victim and perpetrator to me. like, something bad happened to them and now it lives under their skin and reshapes who they are and from time to time they are the one doing the bad thing to others 🥺🤲🏻

[yourfavebooklrsfavebooklr]

The Seventh Veil of Salome by Silvia Moreno-Garcia

4.75 stars

I picked this book up from the library not knowing much beyond recognizing the author's name and skimming the summary. Anyway, I'm really glad I ended up liking it.

This book has the most effective use of multiple POVs that I've ever read. I loved how Nancy's POV was written because I despised her, yet Moreno-Garcia managed to write it in a way that seemed like it truly was a glimpse into Nancy's brain. I also thought the way Salome and Vera contrasted each other was really stark and sort of exemplified both of their characterizations, allowing them to sort of shine in their contrasts but also in their similarities. I also liked the little asides from other people throughout the book, the glimpses into other peoples' minds and relationships with Nancy or Vera and then the subversion or affirmations of what they said added a really interesting element to the book that I really liked. One of the things that really stood out to me was this one pairing of scenes contrasting Nancy and Benny with Vera and the person she ends up in a relationship with where I had to pause to admire how well the author had set the scenes up to really contrast the characters.

Some other things: I also really loved Vera's arc, I think she had a lot of strong growth throughout the story and her sweetness was a nice contrast to Nancy. The story the author was trying to tell really would not have worked as well without Vera developing in the way that she did. I thought the book was well-paced and an interesting story throughout, there's a lot that you can analyze if you want but even if you don't want to think about it it's still a really fun read. 

Anyway. I really liked this one, I'd recommend it if you like books that have old Hollywood, unlikeable characters, historical settings in the '50s, or also just books that try to do something a little unique with the format they choose.

[mikasimaginairyworld]

recipes: dinner

vegan/ vegetarian: ☘️

fish: 🐟

meat: 🍗

cold:❄️

warm: 🔥

tried by me:

Chicken Quinoa Bowl (3/5) ❄️🍗; 25min

Pumpkin soup (5/5) 🔥☘️; 45min

Zoodles with Salmon (4/5) 🔥🐟; 10min

Honey garlic Salom (5/5) 🔥🐟; 15min

Sesame Noodles with Chicken (4/5) ❄️🥩; 30min

Beef Burrito Bowl (5/5) 🔥🥩; 30min

Satay Chicken Noodle Salad (10/5) 🔥🥩; 30min

Sesame Tuna Steak (5/5) 🔥🥩; 35min

Cauliflower Bake (4/5) 🔥☘️; 25min

Vegan Bolognese (4/5) ☘️🔥;65min

Spaghetti Puttanesca (3/5) 🐟🔥; 30min

Chicken Quinoa Salad (4/5) 🥩❄️; 30min

Pumpkin Haloumni Salad (4/5) ☘️❄️; 40min

Salmon Tacos (5/5) 🐟❄️; 20min

Tofu Wrap (4/5) ☘️❄️; 30min

Greek Baked Salmon (3/5) 🐟🔥; 30min

Buffalo Chicken Wraps (5/5) 🍗🔥; 30min

Caprese Pasta Salad (5/5) ☘️❄️; 10min

Smoked Salom Egg Bagel (3/5) 🐟🔥; 5min

Teriyaki Salmon Poke Bowl (4/5) 🐟❄️🔥; 25min

to be tried by me:

Salom Onigiri ❄️🐟; 40min

One Pan Orzo ☘️🔥; 30min

Flatbread Pizza ☘️🔥; 25min

Salmon Alfredo 🐟🔥; 30min

Vegan Chilli con Carne ☘️🔥; 35min

Haloumni Salad ☘️🔥; 40min

Tofu Fried Rice ☘️🔥; 30min

Fish Bowl 🐟❄️; 25min

Tofu Skin Salad ☘️❄️/🔥; 17min

Chicken Noodle Salad 🥩❄️; 20min

Miso Soup ☘️🔥; 5min

Garlic Tofu ☘️🔥; 20min

Spicy Korean Rice Cakes ☘️🔥; 30min

Mushroom Soup ☘️🔥; 30min

Chicken Lo Min 🍗🔥; 25min

Satay Tofu Skewers ☘️🔥; 30min

[wordstome]

Last night I did what I always do when I can’t fall asleep: think about fictional men. Here’s a list of wonderful stories written by incredibly talented people who have helped me think about fictional men by providing the most delicious playgrounds.

In the interest of keeping my recommendations brief, I'm going to talk about what I liked about the fic instead of summarizing what it's about. To know what it's actually about you're just gonna have to click through and read the fic <3

(and just in case anybody's gotten lost, this is all COD, mostly modern MW)

✦ complete ║ ➠ ongoing

König

✦Just Friends by @kneelingshadowsalome Salome is so good at capturing a very unique interplay between König’s social awkwardness and his deep, dark, nasty inclinations. He’s so feral and enjoyable to read, and the sheer force of his desire for Engel is downright intoxicating. I find it difficult to describe how much of an impact Just Friends has had on me and my portrayal of König, to be honest. There's a reason why three of Salome's fics are on this rec list.

✦Fatum Nos Iungebit by kneelingshadowsalome Five words. König with his cock out. That's it. Okay, but in all seriousness, I love his character applied to this setting. All the raw visceral violence a König could ever want, a pretty little lady in his bed—he's so boyish and happy in this au it brings me such joy. The way their relationship between him and Fee develops is so natural and so sweet. Please for the love of God read this.

➠Cat/Mouse/Den by @papaver-decervicatus The chase. The pursuit. The adrenaline when Mouse dances out of König's reach once more. I'm a little biased because I adore Julius and Jenny (I could call her Lucretia but the double J names make me giggle) as ocs already, but CMD is so, so well written. The tension, the flirting, the scene where he catches her falling out of the tree?! As I said in a reblog, I shrieked. You know when you're reading something that's so good you want to bite down on it and shake like a dog with a toy? (No? Just me?) That's how I feel about CMD.

➠Anything by @darklordofthesimp Anything, in only 7 chapters (they are hefty, don’t get me wrong), has turned König and Birdy’s dynamic from “THIS MOTHERFUCKER HAS IRREVERSIBLY SCARRED MY BODY AND MY BRAIN, AND I CANNOT TRUST HIM” to “these two are going to get married someday”. (author if you’re reading this, I say that not as an expectation or prediction, but as a vibe reading.) This one is for the hurt/comfort girlies. Also, shoutout to all the other stories set in the Anything-verse. Sunshine and Ghost are just soooo *grips my hand in a fist so hard it shakes*

➠If you need to be mean by @gremlingottoosilly This mostly serves as a blanket recommendation for all of Gremlin’s fics. I found If you need to be mean, and then visiting Gremlin’s author page was like opening a treasure chest. Want to be König’s pampered, (unwilling) little housewife? That’s If you need to be mean. Want a harem fic with almost all of the COD MW men? Gremlin has two, both with their own little spin to keep it fun. Do you want König to keep you in his basement or hunt you down as a serial killer? Gremlin's got it. Monsterfucker? Gremlin has that too. Special shoutout goes to 1295 kilometers. I think about fucking König on a train a lot now.

➠Break my mind by @kaiasdevotion (kaiasown on ao3) There’s no way around this. This fic has the most unhinged, kinky, downright dangerous smut I’ve read in the cod fandom so far (positive). Just Friends König is the metric by which I judge all other Königs’ nastiness, and Break my mind König is tipping so hard on the “unhinged horny violent freak (affectionate)” end of the scale he’s about to fall off. I don't know if you guys have noticed, but I've developed a taste for writing/reading from König's perspective, and he's so chillingly deranged in the most controlled way possible during the chapters from his pov. Incredible writing. Chefs kiss.

✦Experimental by @uhohdad (surgeoninspace on ao3) Alright, enough of just König being nasty. He is still nasty in this one, but he’s not the only one who gets to have a little fun and be a total creep. Our little scientist here is a grade A pervert, and I was delighted the whole way through. The most important thing I need in a fic is suspension of disbelief, and Experimental takes an unrealistic, maybe a little bit silly situation and makes it so believable. Everybody reacts the way you would expect them to, even if the scenario they're in is A Lot.

➠Little Mouse and Rotes Madchen by @sprout-fics I'm combining the recommendation for these two because while they are both very much distinct, unique fics, I love them the same way. Sprout is such an engaging writer, and the internal dialogue of her characters is so well done. It reveals their personality, motivations, and internal conflicts without being overly expository. Do you guys remember that post I put on the König bible about instant obsession? It's this inexorable attraction borne from obsession that sticks me to Little Mouse like a glue trap. (Is that too morbid?)

✦Hot in Sarajevo by @50cal-fullauto Rags' König characterization post is on my Königcore bible, for very good reason. They get it. König is a feral dog forced to live as a man and loves like a total maniac, emotionally and sexually. I marked Hot in Sarajevo as complete but I don't know how many parts there are going to be, and frankly, I do want more. However, if you're going to only read one part (which. why would you do that??? read both.) I recommend the second part. I want to write love like that. Goddamn.

Ghost

Yeah, this list is a little bare bones right now. I'm gonna get back to it, I promise.

✦Anhedonia by kneelingshadowsalome The way. Salome takes the "I would take a bullet for him but he's so cold to me" premise and then flips it entirely on its head for the second part is so important to me. The way Simon craves the reader is like human catnip. I reread this fic all the time.

Keegan

✦For the Weak and Weary by @halcyone-of-the-sea Read this if you want to believe in true love. That's all. Go on now.

Multiple

✦Easy by @danibee33 When people say "I wish this were a book!" about fanfiction, they usually mean it in a "this is good enough to be published by the traditional publishing industry" way. When I say I want Easy (and Diablesa) to be a book, I mean it in a "I want to get this story bound in a beautiful ass cover and keep it on a shelf so I can take it down and reread it whenever I want" way. I don't want the traditional publishing industry to get their claws in this, because it's perfect as it is. This fic is so wild and fun, and the character moments are so special and well done. Do yourself a favor and savor this one.

➠@ghouljams's entire blog [masterlist] "What do you mean someone's entire blog" YOU HEARD ME. Those aus are some good shit. Good characterization, delicious premises, love the group effort of it all. To absolutely nobody's surprise, my favorite couple is König and Bee from the cowboy au (ditzy but well-meaning and competent in her own way woman x big strong man who is obsessed with her and maybe also creeping on her, my beloved), but I also have a fondness for Ghost and Die from demon darlings au. Trust me on this one. Dig into those masterlists babey.

[salomeslashes]

HI OKAY so here are some thoughts for you:

Mister Magic (by Kiersten White) - I finished this one a couple days ago, so it's still fresh, and the second I did I immediately recommended it to everyone I know who I thought might have even a chance of liking it. If you dug Stephen King's It then I especially recommend this one. It's not ghosts, not monsters, but a secret third thing and I don't want to spoil it but I laughed and cried and lost my absolute fucking mind over this book. (Also, if you like audiobooks this one is amazing.)

The Devil Takes You Home (by Gabino Iglesias) - Not a slasher exactly (the author refers to it as Barrio Noir) but this book is absolutely grisly. There are monsters and horrors that defy naming. It's the author's first novel, and it's been picking up awards left and right.

Everything the Darkness Eats (by Eric LaRocca) - This one is pretty brutal. It is supernatural, but not about ghosts and not what I'd call fantasy. I also mention it with the caveat that it comes with a content warning for...basically everything imaginable. Like, really. It does contain queers behaving badly in ways we don't typically see, but they also suffer. Although I let it ride because, well, so does nearly everyone in the book. If you dig this, the author has, like, a bunch of other stuff.

Such Sharp Teeth (by Rachel Harrison) - And now for something completely different! I adored this book, and it's a lot...gentler(?) than the others I've mentioned so far. It's the werewolf book I never knew I needed, honestly, and I couldn't be more glad I read it.

Camp Damascus (by Chuck Tingle) - Yes, that Chuck Tingle. This is his first traditionally published novel, and it's so scary, so queer, and such fabulous autism rep (I say as a person who is neurodiverse but not autistic, though Chuck himself is and I have heard many autistic folks agree with the sentiment). Chock full of religious trauma and bugs. I loved this book a whole lot.

Mothered (by Zoje Stage) - Important note on this one: there is a review of this in the New York Times and you MUST NOT READ SAID REVIEW!! Avoid the review at ALL COSTS until after you've read the book (then look at it and get mad at how egregiously it ruins the ending). Anyway, this book is an absolutely skin-crawling, mindfucking, nightmare of a book and I don't want to say much more than that. Good luck, especially if you have mommy issues.

Night of the Mannequins (by Stephen Graham Jones) - I know you already mentioned SGJ in your tags, but this is a delightful slasher and I love it a lot. Wanted to mention it just in case you missed it!

Anyway, I will cool my jets now....haha. You and anyone else who sees this, I LOVE recommending books! (Not just horror, though it is my specialty!) Please feel free to inbox me recommendation requests any time, and I'll get back to you as I can.

i feel like i havent read enough horror novels to give recs bc my only advice is try a book or two from ~5 of the most popular horror authors (imo) and then rip through the author’s entire body of work for whichever is your favorite rinse and repeat until youre out of those 5. Then start reading at random i guess or just die

[alwaysshallow]

Ive just discovered gorgeous and devouring it ✨ do you have any recommendations for ghost specifically?

omg I hope you enjoy it bestie 💓

for ghost specifically..... of course, you need to mind the tags though!!!

lumi just released her toxic ex boyfriend ghost au, you'll find it here..... i'm utterly obsessed with this and I fear it's gonna be a long phase. her way with words and making me growl is..... yeah. but she also has amazing situationship ghost 💞 it's definitely worth to read, you're gonna fall in love.

same situation with ceilidh because she... ooof. I love the authors I have there and I will continue to say that. saltwater completely changed my mindset for a while, just as in the cauldron boil and bake. she also has other ghost works on her ao3 profile!! a bunch of prompts also, which reminds me how big her mind is lmao.

bo, oh.... bo... once again, mind the tags, this is dark, but this work basically introduced me to dark fics more?? the way you can actually feel what reader is going through.... insane. in fucking sane. her writing is always on top tier.

ghoul!! one of my faves with ghost distribution system ❤️ it's really sweet and I think you should DEFINITELY check it out!!

seph, her whole masterlist has various ghost scenarios, but the secret wife one!!!!!!! read it omfg I'm in love every time I re-read it

charlie!! squeeze me i squeak, but you can find scenarios with ghost on her profile!

peaches.... oh peaches...... series with sassy but also light on. if you're devouring gorgeous, you're gonna go crazy with her too. i bet. a little darker, but. black sun is also amazing.

salome. everything from her, as from the others (im so biased but I love those authors and I'd willingly read everything from them) but I feel man-sized would be a good first read!!

lev!!!!!!!! she just released her new fic with ghost too. mind the tags, but it's... oh wow.

my ao3 bookmarks can also help you, if I forgot someone/something!!

[salomeslashes]

hiii i saw you mentioned being a librarian into horror and was wondering if you had any recs for gothic or haunted house books? i dont need a lot of action i just want a superbly eerie vibe.

Yes absolutely! I feel like two of my favorite recent haunted house books have a considerable amount of action but I will mention them anyway, just...down at the bottom for you to ignore if you want. Eerie vibes incoming!

The Stradivarius (by Rae Knowles) - A woman moves with her new husband into the house she inherited from her father, who was murdered when she was a child, and spooky things begin to happen right away. Is her house haunted, or is something more sinister going on? And what happened to her father's priceless violin, which hasn't been seen since his death? Vibes everywhere!

Mexican Gothic (by Silvia Moreno-Garcia) - It's been a little bit since I read this one, so the plot is slightly less fresh, but I remember every bit about how it made me feel. The world of this story is so rich and the characters are absolutely fascinating. I highly recommend it for that gothic vibe, especially if you (like me) want to read more stories by and about people of color.

You Should Have Left (by Daniel Kehlmann) - This one is perfect for people who love House of Leaves in theory but not in practice. Short and told in a style that's almost stream-of-consciousness, the narrator of the story is a writer who is staying in a remote cabin with his wife and young daughter...but something is just...off about the house. Hard to explain much more without giving it all away, but it's so creepy and so cool. Also, very short. I read this in an hour.

A Guest in the House (by Emily Carroll) - This one is a graphic novel, which I hope is fine! I loved this one. The art was gorgeous and it was legitimately so haunting. Aching and ambiguously supernatural. I screamed about this one from the rooftops when I read it.

The more intense stuff:

How to Sell a Haunted House (by Grady Hendrix) - Terrifying, but also heartbreaking. I loved this one a lot, and the second I finished it I sent an ebook copy to my brother. Lots of family feels, and some really horrifying puppets. Hendrix consistently kills it as far as horror with heart. I highly recommend it.

Tell Me I'm Worthless (by Alison Rumfitt) - I cannot stress enough how brutal and hard to read this book is (the author included a content warning at the start and I highly recommend heeding it), but it's also (somewhat ironically) deeply worth it, if you ask me. This is a haunted house story, yes, but the ghost in the house is fascism. As a trans person, as a queer person, as a human being, this book wrecked me.

[noovorous]

Hobbies recommended for decadents to battle your devastating ennui:

1- Latin literature 2- Decorating turtles with handpicked selection of gemstones 3- Using synaesthesia to play music in your head by tasting different liqueurs 4- Collecting bizarre plants 5- Making imagined trips to foreign lands by taking a trip somewhere rather near 6- Collecting art 7- Exploring an array of kinks 8- Making your own perfume 9- Pushing innocents into a life of crime and debauchery 10- Reading about 1-9 in a book with yellow binding 11- Ruining the lives of pretty girls and boys 12- Participating in a roman catholic mass for the aesthetic 13- Studying and burning incense 14- Listening to exotic music 15- Studying gems and their folklore 16- Collecting embroidery and fabrics 17- Kissing lips of a decapitated head 18- Studying dark occult mysteries 19- Graverobbing

References:

1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9- À rebours by Joris-Karl Huysmans 10,11,12,13,14,15,16- The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde 17- Salome by Oscar Wilde 18- The Thing on the Doorstep by Howard Phillips Lovecraft 19- The Hound by Howard Phillips Lovecraft

[chhtusyk]

I think you’d like this promt, ahem: poetry loving fem reader geeking out about their favorite authors with Colby :)

Colby used to spend time in the library.

It was his little secret, and it wasn't even such a secret because Fischer knew about it, there were times when it bothered him because of that because poetry was something quite delicate and it damaged the image that the school had of them as problem children, but it was fine, as long as no one knew about it.

Another day in the library in silence, Colby was going like a thief looking for the most precious treasure looking at the shelves, he had memorized (or had tried to say better) where the books of his interest were, he already had one in his sights, he had not He had read before because he had found some children from a lower class nearby reading something that was not much to see, but the mere idea of ​​being seen taking that book bothered him a bit.

Just as he was going to take the book, he saw him being pulled over the other side of the bookcase. There went that book, along with his dignity when he saw that on the other side there was a girl looking at him clearly confused.

Colby only became confused leaving there, as if nothing had happened, when he left between the shelves going to the study tables, he cleaned his tunic a little, possibly out of embarrassment because it wasn't dirty.

"Did you want this book?"

Colby wished more than anything that the earth would swallow him right now and spit out anywhere but here.

"Yes, it was for a friend," Colby lied quickly looking at her, the girl made a small sound of affirmation.

"It's not that good actually, I could recommend something by Salome Ureña... The translation isn't the best, but I personally like them." The girl smiled looking at him, that's when she piqued Colby's interest.

"I don't know her, who is she?" Colby asked looking at the girl while she crossed her arms, the girl laughs a little.

"Just a Dominican woman," She reply looking away, pulling a pale pink one from the small pile of books and giving it to Colby.

"I prefer John Keats" he said, flipping through the book, she laughs making the Slytherin boy look at her

"That's so British."

"Is there something wrong?" He now asks a little defensively, the girl denies trying to hide her smile.

"No, but I could show your friend more"

Colby's face was stained with embarrassment upon hearing that, apparently his lie didn't last as long as he thought and the girl had realized that, the Slytherin boy only clung more to the book and ran away from there. .

[autistic-fandom-trash]

jongerry incorrect quotes

*Jon and Gerry skipping stones on a lake* Jon: It’s such a beautiful evening. Gerry, whispering: Take that you fucking lake. --- Jon: Where are you going? Gerry: To get ice cream or commit a felony, I’ll decide on the way there. --- Gerry: Man, I only ever see you awake, do you ever shut down or stop running? Jon: Oh, I’m always running. The question is from what. --- Gerry: I want to wake up with you every day for the rest of our lives. Jon: I wake up at 4:30 AM. Gerry:...I want to see you at some point every day for the rest of our lives. --- Jon: Gerry and I have the kind of easy chemistry where we finish each other's- Gerry: Sentences. Jon: Don't interrupt me. --- Gerry: You love me, right, Jon? Jon: Normally, I’d say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere and I don’t like it. --- Jon: Heads up if you try to make a candle with food coloring, the food coloring will just sink to the bottom of the glass, and when the flame eventually reaches the bottom all the food coloring will catch fire and become one giant tall flame that you cannot possibly blow out and the glass will start to crack and then you'll throw your tea on it in a panic and then the extremely hot food coloring will boil and sizzle horribly and then the glass will shatter. Please take my word on this. Gerry: What did you do, Jon? Jon: A MISTAKE. --- Jon: *Kicks the door down looking panicked* Gerry: What did you do? Jon: Nobody died. Gerry: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?! --- Jon: WHAT’S YOUR TYPE? Gerry: Anything, honestly, but nerds especially. Jon, desperately, as Gerry bleeds out: YOUR BLOOD TYPE! Gerry: Oh! B positive. Jon: DONT TRY TO CHEER ME UP JUST TELL ME YOUR BLOOD TYPE! --- Gerry: Here's some advice. Jon: I didn't ask for any. Gerry: Too bad. I'm stuck here with my thoughts and you're the only one who talks to me. --- Gerry: You fuckers don’t know about my knife stick. It’s a knife taped to a stick and it’s the ultimate weapon. Jon, not looking up from their book: Spear. Gerry: BLOCKED. --- Jon, about Elias: I prevented a murder today. Gerry: Really? How’d you do that? Jon: Self control. --- Gerry, tending to Jon's wounds: How would you rate your pain? Jon: Zero stars. Would NOT recommend. --- Gerry: Jon, stop! This isn't you, you've gone mad with power! Jon: Well of course I have. Have you ever tried going mad without power? It's boring. --- Gerry: How petty can you get? Jon: I once edited a Wikipedia article to win an argument I was wrong about. --- Gerry: Whaddya call a fish with no eyes? Jon, not looking up: Myxine Circifrons. Gerry:...fsh. --- Gerry, in a beach shirt: So sue me, it's October and I'd like to be on Island Time for a day! Jon: I have Spotify open right now on my computer, do you want me to blast you? Do you want me to put you on blast? Cuz I've got your history right here on the sidebar: Take it Back by Jimmy Buffet, Nautical Wheelers by Jimmy Buffet, Jolly Mon Sing by Jimmy Buffet, Steamer by Jimmy Buffet, trEAT HER LIKE A LADY BY JIMMY BUFFET, MAÑANA BY JIMMY BUFFET, WHEN SALOME PLAYS THE DRUMS BY JAMES BUFFET, HAVANA DAYDREAMIN BY JIMMY BUFFET- What the FUCK happened to you?! Gerry, laughing: I HAD A CASE OF THE MONDAYS! Jon: ARE YOU HAUNTED?! ARE YOU FUCKING POSSESSED?! YOU USED TO BE MY FRIEND! Gerry, cry-laughing: ᴵ ᴴᴬᴰ ᴬ ᶜᴬˢᴱ ᴼᶠ ᵀᴴᴱ ᴹᴼᴺᴰᴬʸˢ --- Jon: This is a mistake. Gerry, enthusiastically: A mistake we're going to laugh about one day! Jon: But not today. Gerry, still enthusiastic: Oh, no. Today's going to be a mess. --- Gerry: If there's going to be a big dramatic scene, wait until I get back. Jon: Of course. I can't flip this table by myself. --- Jon: You often use humor to deflect trauma. Gerry: Thank you. Jon: I didn't say that was a good thing. Gerry: What I'm hearing is, you think I'm funny. --- Jon: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I'll wait. Gerry: You and me. Jon, tearing up: Okay. --- Gerry: So what’s for dinner? Jon, staring at the food they just burnt: Regret.

[dodger-chan]

My stupid brain won't stop elaborating on this.

The first opera they go to is Don Giovanni. Steve picks it because Mozart is good, who doesn't like Mozart? Steve, apparently. Eddie, though, is really into the music, thinks Anna and Elvira are kind of bad ass, and goes absolutely nuts when the opera ends with the protagonist being dragged down to hell (Steve can admit the effects were cool).

Eddie wants to go again, so they try The Barber of Seville next. Steve recognizes the overture from Looney Tunes. He's still pretty bored. (Not sure when sub/supra titles became fairly universal with opera, but I think Steve would have trouble following the plot regardless)

They don't go often, compared to other things they do together, because it's expensive. But Eddie checks out recordings at the library and makes Steve listen with him. When they do go, Steve has a better time if he knows the music a little.

Eddie refuses to dress up when they go - or rather he's in fancy for Eddie clothes which means the cleaner, less torn jeans. Steve is very willing to return any dirty looks they get.

They aren't dates the first couple of times, because Steve and Eddie are stupid about their relationship. Eddie gets into a passionate conversation with an older woman during an intermission of Tristan und Isolde about music stuff Steve can't follow (Steve wonders why Eddie didn't bring Robin who might get it, or why he agreed to come to something that was over four hours long and boring). Her date takes Steve aside suggesting they leave "my wife and your boyfriend" to their shop talk. And oh, Steve gets why he's there now.

It still takes them several weeks after that to get it together and start officially dating. Strauss's Salome is on the record player when they kiss for the first time. It can't be danced to (at least not any dance Steve can do) or even really hummed along with, but it is still Steve's favorite opera.

Eddie taking Steve to the opera because he keeps making fun of how Steve never got the full rich kid experience but then he has the horrifying realization that he likes opera... Steve is the one who thinks it's boring and spends the whole time just watching Eddie.

[kneelingshadowsalome]

Hey Salome! 💖

A while ago you recommend 'Still Waters', this absolutely outstanding Friday the 13th fic on ao3. And I *devoured* it. It was fantastic, thank you so much for sharing! So after that I scouered ao3 for some more Jason and found 'Even Old Wounds Can Heal, And Dead Hearts Can Feel' (archiveofourown.org/works/16026146/chapters/37403114). Jason is so damn sweet but still his slashery self, the reader is a great character, the smut is very good and realistic and it has goats, that play a major role. And the bittersweet ending had me bawling my eyes out. Just a beautiful love story. Maby you know it already. But if not, perhaps you or someone else here enjoys it too. 😊💕

I'm familiar with it, and while nothing can top Infernalitae's Still Waters for me it's very good and sweet! Thank you for the rec, I'm sure there are some Jason Voorhees lovers lurking here somewhere! I mean... C'mon 💗