#sally is also having a Very bad time! everyone has it rough for a While!

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

The lights out au is the first au in a while to peak my interest : O

I gotta know, why is Sally evil and what does she do?

Also how's Barnaby doing? <: (

im Delighted to hear that!! (also hi! your laughingstock art is adorable!)

Sally isn't really evil per se... she's just sleepwalking! while having mild to intense nightmares! most of the time she just sleeps in her house, but once per day she takes a walk - a "patrol" - around the neighborhood before going back to sleep. every so often she wakes up Extra agitated, and needs to be soothed to sleep or she'll get destructive. in general, though, Nightlight!Sally just patrols and attacks anything that makes noise until it goes Quiet again

and Barnaby! well! he's having the most wonderful dreams <3

[galacticspaceguy]

Post Cars 3 human!lightning headcanons:

(Also leans into a bit of AU territory but the AU starts after cars 3 so it’s ok)

-mid 30s

-doesn’t race with the rookies officially anymore. He holds dirt track races for him and all the older racers. People are allowed to come and watch. These races get real popular, but they quieted down after a while.

-he didn’t get a new car cause he’s to attached to his old one, and he refuses to alter it either.

-uses Docs old car a lot. He fixed it up because being a mechanic became a new hobby of his

-had a couple a scars due to the assassination attempt and the crash. he also takes a bunch of meds cause the crash messed him up real bad. A lot of people consider Lightnings crash one of the worst.

-has ADHD. It was really bad when he was younger (cars 1) but it’s calmed down now

-people talk about Cruz getting in a potential car crash due to it being almost a curse. Doc, Strip, McQueen, so people think Cruz is next. It doesn’t help that this is one of McQueens biggest fears.

-races Cruz as a part of her training

-hates it when people call him old. Everyone calls him old.

-usually wears sweatpants, a white shirt, a jacket that’s both his old logo and Dinoco themed, and his own merch (a hat and lightning glasses) as a crew chief uniform

-he let Cruz use his old racing suit (he also let her alter it a bit by adding some of her signature yellow to his red)

-lost a bit of his professionalism but not a bit of his charm

-gets a lot of appreciation from the rookies on the track (cause he’s practically a dad to everyone on the track now)

-Lightning is to Cruz like Doc is to Lightning but way more chaotic

-part time teacher at Rusteze racing center. It was a horrible idea to hire him, but the rookies love him

-Harv made him keep his hair cut short and clean, but now he lets it grow out.

-He also has a heavier accent now due to all the time he spends in radiator springs.

-Married Sally. Fans started calling her Mrs. McKing. Though there’s already a Mrs. The King. They are best friends and have their own fan base.

-Always carries a cup with him to all of Cruz’s races. None knows what’s in it, and when anyone asks, he always gives a very vague answer, so none knows. It’s become very popular online for people to guess what Cruz Ramirez’s crew chief is drinking.

-convinced all his old racing friends to help out in the pits or become crew chiefs of their own rookies

-doesn’t usually let Cruz race internationally. He knows it’s unfair, but he’s still a little wary after the whole assassination attempt. A few of the racers from the world grand pix actually reached out to him to tell him he should be less paranoid in the nicest way possible- but then again, people strapped a bomb to his best friend in a attempt to murder him

-tried to teach Sally to race. He always lets her win even if he knows he can beat her easily.

-either really rough with Cruz or really soft with her; but over all incredibly over protective of her

-casually mentions/references things that happened in movie 1/2 and the majority of the time, no one but the Radiator Spring residents what he’s talking about

-hasn’t let Cruz get an proper agent yet. He knows he should, but he and Dinoco are enough right now.

-can throw Cal over his shoulders and drag him around (no matter how much Cal screams at him to put him down)

-broke off his contract with Harv and put Harv on a no contact list. I don’t personally think Harv was physically or extremely abusive- I thinks he’s more exploit-y and mostly cares about fame and money. He was really distant with McQueen but he did have a good hold over the kid, I mean we all know how excited Lightning gets when he gets to talk to or even see Harv. The entire court case was about Harv taking more of Lightnings winnings than what’s legally allowed, and it really changed Harvs attitude towards Lighting, which led to a restraining order and a no contact order.

-I have another headcanon that Harv became Jackson Storms agent, which led to a whole other court case

-Sally was the lawyer for both those cases

[takaraphoenix]

I LOVE how clever they made Percy, holy shit, I adore that he knows about mythology, that Sally taught him and that he played Mythomagic with Grover, it's amazing that he comes in not as a blank slate but as a "I can very much piece together what monster/god we're up against on my own", and on top of that, he actually figures shit out, the way he figured out that Luke was the traitor, all on his own, and--

AND IT MAKES IT SO MUCH MORE UNBEARABLE TO HAVE TO HEAR HIM BE CALLED "SEAWEED BRA*N" THAT SHIT ACTUALLY DEALT ME PSYCHIC DAMAGE EVERY TIME I HAD TO HEAR IT, HOLY SHIIIIT.

Book!Percy was one thing, and I am not calling him stupid and I am also not saying I like it in the books, but book!Percy had a sense of... naivety? That show!Percy doesn't have. And he was more... uneducated about the world he got thrust into.

In the books, there was a set up for her starting to insult his intelligence. Which, again, didn't make it good, but you could see where it was coming from.

In the show, it fucking hit me like an 18 wheeler out of nowhere. What? He has done nothing to deserve any kind of insult to his intelligence???

And it's not. It's not even like Annabeth is actually that much cleverer than him? He killed Medusa? He killed Echidna? He tricked Ares and beat him? He kept figuring shit out all on his own without needing a ""Wise Girl"" to hold his hand through it.

Look, this may as well be a whole separate conversation - about how underutilized Annabeth's Athena-heritage is in canon, because she isn't all that clever and she doesn't come up with all the strategy, and it just makes her not look special enough and I do think the author could have put more thought into that and also given her more powers (especially in the sequel series where everyone got random-ass special abilities assigned with no basis) - but Percy very much was always the one who did need a push into the right mythological direction, and Annabeth gave that. So there was a gap in knowledge between them.

And the thing is, I actually like show!Annabeth, she was off to a really, really rough start - but, quite frankly, in the show, that rough start came off somewhat autistic coded, like she just... did not know/care for social norms and was fueled by her own fixations, and they adjusted to each other and there was growth there. I really liked her overall character arc in the season, as little as there was focus on her.

And then she hits me with that horrible, awful, stupid, insulting ""nickname"" and I am foaming at the mouth needing to lay down and stare at the ceiling for ten minutes. Just fully outta nowhere, with no foundation for this.

If he had at least... done something really stupid? To prompt it? But all he did was... ask quite valid questions? Or come to conclusions - later than Annabeth and Grover ("am I the last one to figure that out?" and that just sucked even harder, because Percy immediately had the urge to tell them his realization meanwhile they just... sat with that knowledge with no need to share it with him like lol what)?

I guess a huge part of it is that Seaweed Bra*n is just the first step in Annabeth's shitty, shitty treatment of Percy and I am aging ten years at the thought of having to see her abuse him on-screen (people who come into this post trying to argue "It's not abuse!!" when one romantic partner repeatedly uses physical violence to punish their romantic partner, WILL not be argued with, they WILL be blocked at sight).

And I like show!Annabeth so far. And she developed such a... soft side. I'm just fearing for them to give the racebent black girl the Angry Physically Violent role, because while it is terrifyingly easy for the people in this fandom to dismiss every time Annabeth uses physical violence against Percy while she is a Dainty Little Blonde White Girl, decades of bad stereotypes in media somehow tell me that they will suddenly notice that it Might Not Be Great when partner A hits partner B in the stomach for not dancing with them, even if the hitting party is The Girl and the getting hit party is The Boy.

So, that's the downward spiral of my thoughts on how utterly forced, unnecessary and unfit it felt that Annabeth started calling him Seaweed Bra*n all of a fucking sudden, because for every good angle this show tried to go for, they then in the end capped it for the sake of adhering to book canon after all, even if the set up they wrote was... a very different one, so in my heart of "disappointed by this checklist of a show-adaptation"-hearts I know that even with this softer, kinder Annabeth they're gonna go "and wouldn't it be quirky and funny if this literal daughter of WAR who was trained to fight since she was little would judo-flip her boyfriend for getting abducted lol that would be funny and super not abusive right???? it will be a Cute Ship Moment" - and then it became an honest-to-the-gods ""cute"" ship moment to this fucking fandom.

Gonna say something about the show that I don't need to show up in the tags because I know people are Incapable Of Filtering Tags Out so please hold for a sec--

[bored-storyteller]

Hello! I remember you said you could write for Sally Face even though it's not on your list (if I dreamed of it, excuse me 🙏), since you still look like you're in the fandom... How about the #4 of the prompt list with Sally Face? If you do not write for him I apologize 😭

Hello dear Anon! Yes, Sally Face maybe is the video game I'm most fond of, I can write for him, I just don't always feel like making the requests that come to me about this game. But don't worry! Asking is always fine! Thanks for the request!

P.s. This is more fluff than angst I think, I apologize, is that there is already a lot of angst for him

73- Sally Face, Sal Fisher x Reader

From the prompt list

4- “Do you know what it’s like?”

Gizmo's purr lazily fills the silence in the room, the big cat is taking his ration of free pampering perched in your boyfriend's lap.

His fingers glide absently on the white and tawny fur of the half-asleep feline, while behind his mask you catch nothing but an absent gaze directed at the void between his knees.

By now that beautiful sky-colored eye of his communicates with you without the need for words, and you see how much it seems dull and lost, so much so that it appears almost glass like the one on the right.

Sal is always so sweet and so strong. He has so much weight on his shoulders, yet you always see him accepting everyone else's too. He never complains, he doesn't fidget, and he doesn't scream, not even when he gets angry, and if he does he apologizes as if he's at fault.

You love him, you really love him. You feel it in your guts, especially now, that he is like this.

You don't really know what's troubling him, yet you see how sad he is. His shoulders are bent slightly forward, and his blue hair slips free, covering even more of his usual mask.

Even though you know you are free with him, you are terribly afraid of hurting him. You're afraid of saying something too much, something he doesn't deserve.

As you leave the book you were reading by your side, you try to remember when Sal began to wither.

You noticed it after the last outing you did with the others, but you have no idea if those thoughts that seem to be spinning in his head were already floating around before, and you curse yourself for being so inattentive towards him.

"Give me space Gizmo" you mutter with a playful pout, picking up the lazy cat to move it a little further "I want the cuddles too."

Sal just cooes as his hands remain motionless, letting you nestle your head in his lap.

Once you are comfortable in your new nest, his fingers gently touch your forehead, while you are busy trying to come to terms with the big cat who insists on trying to stay on his master's lap too, at the cost to sit on your face.

“Come on Gizmo. Let me be a little jealous every now and then. " You snort, pushing the royal furry butt away from your nose.

"Are you jealous?" Sal's question is surmounted by the meow of the fake tiger who decides to snuggle in the hollow between your shoulder and your neck.

Your eyes roll up into his gaze and for a moment you don't know how to read that question. You feel him terribly serious, and in a way, you don't know where he is going.

"Yes ... I'm jealous of you ... that is ... is it normal I think?" You know that sincerity is always the best choice with him, but you still bite your tongue, wondering if you are giving the wrong idea.

His caresses have stopped while he silently looks at you, and you don't know what he's thinking, you don't know if you've unknowingly touched a nerve or if you just added a new thought to him.

"Why?" His question comes out as a surrendered sigh "You have no reason ... I say ... it is you who can make others love you, not me."

His words take your breath away for a moment.

"What are you saying…?" You murmur, as you raise a hand to touch his turquoise locks "you know how to make yourself loved even by those who don't even know how to love ..." you whisper softly, yet you don't seem to convince him.

His sigh becomes more impressive in the rumble of his mask, and you look at him patiently, while his hands undo the hooks that block it to his face.

Few people know what lies behind that prosthesis, and it hardly ever happens that he leaves himself so spontaneously in the sight of others. It's because it's you, you know, and it flatters you, yet something so immediate still surprises you.

You believe that his face is something magical, because no matter how grotesque it is, how almost you could say that there is no face, but you love it, you loved it from the first moment you saw it. Maybe because you were already in love with him.

"You were beautiful that night." His words still confuse you, and you force yourself to accept the idea of having entered a minefield. So you were right, was it your last outing that upset him?

"Sal ..." you get up, and now even Gizmo has realized he has to leave space for you, moving to the next pillow.

He doesn't look at you, his eyes are closed, but he continues to keep himself completely exposed to you.

"I really mean it. You are always beautiful to me, but that night ... that night you felt beautiful too, didn't you? You were, you really were, and ... "his shoulders give way a little further forward, as if he were about to collapse under an invisible weight. "And if you hadn't been with me, someone would have come to you. Maybe he would have offered you a drink and then ... "

Your lips part for a few seconds, looking for something to say, but you really don't know what ground you're walking on.

"I'm not really beautiful Sal, I'm just-"

"A normal person. What else do you want?" His abrupt interruption silences you.

In a moment his eye is on you again, alarmed: “Sorry. I'm so sorry. Forgive me, I didn't mean to be bad. "He whispers softly.

Sal Fisher, always so attentive to others even in his moments of despair.

"Only that ... you ... do you know what it’s like? To be like that…"

His voice just trembles, and you forget to breathe. You would like to remove all doubts and insecurities from him, but you cannot do it.

"No ... no Sal, I don't know ..."

"That's okay ..." he murmurs, trying to console the guilt of your tone "I don't know what it is like to be you either, but ... it can't be so pleasant to kiss bare teeth ... right? It must not be pleasant to feel this dead flesh against your skin, and it must not be pleasant to wake up in the middle of the night from a nightmare and find this monster a few inches from your face ... I just think ... I just think you should know that you can certainly find someone else ... someone else other than me. "

You have always admired him, also for all the strength he has to live with that weight - one of many - that he carries with him. Perhaps subconsciously he has always found a way to make his flaws simply characteristics, his style. With or without his ponytails, Sal was always recognizable and, in a sense, charismatic.

But you know that even if he is so strong, so resilient, the weight does not disappear.

"Sally Face ..." you murmur softly, as you move your legs to be able to sit astride his lap.

"You know ... I've always looked for many things from life." Your fingers casually play with his tufts of hair "And I swear to you I never thought I'd find what's really essential to me right here."

Your palms rest gently on his rib cage as his slowly brush your hips.

"You might find someone different from me too, Sally Face, but I don't want you to, please." You just smile "Also because ... after a nightmare you are the first thing I look for, and when I find you ..." leaning forward you are greeted by the loving arms of your boyfriend, while you take refuge in his chest, snuggling up to his heart "I do this, and I stay listening to you until I fall asleep again. When you sleep peacefully you never notice, but you always welcome me. "

Curled up there on his chest like now, you have no idea what's in Sal's eyes. All you see are a few blue locks of him falling over your cheeks, while he lets you relax under his chin.

His silence leaves you on alert, and even if you don't move, you look for any clues that might tell you something about his emotions.

A slight tremor in his chest and a restrained sob from him make your heart tremble, but his slowly calming beat just makes you snuggle closer to his body.

"I-" he starts off lightly, but then stops immediately, and when he resumes, you're sure he's changed the subject, but it doesn't matter anymore. "Am I such a heavy sleeper?" He asks, with a shivering chuckle amid the slight gasps of silent tears.

You laugh lightly as you lift yourself up to look at him. In your hands, his cheeks are rough and wet, but even as tears flow from his eyes, he doesn't look agitated or hurt.

"Well, you recover the sleep that all your nightmares take away from you."

Your fingers slide gently under his eyelids to collect his tears. You don't ask him why he cries; you know that in his chest he has a reservoir where he keeps all his emotions and, every now and then, they pretend to come out.

"Wake me up next time you have a nightmare, you're always there when I have mine."

You smile softly as you rest your forehead against him. You wouldn't change him for the world.

"For once, let me take care of you Sal."

His sigh hits your nose as he snuggles a little more against you. Calmly it seems that he can channel his emotions into a single torrent.

"Take care of me?" He murmurs against your lips “How about picking up the phone and ordering a pizza for the two of us? It would make me very, very happy. "

Your cheerful laugh fills the room, while your lips touch what remains of his: "And the ice cream?"

"And the ice cream." He confirms as he accepts your sweet kiss.

There seems to be a long night of pampering with Sal and Gizmo ahead of you, what more could you ask for?

You gently kiss his cheek one last time, before getting up in search of the device to order your dinner.

"Hey ..." before you're too far away, your hand is lovingly held by Sal's "I don't want anyone else next to me."

Your eyes dive into him for a moment, and what you find is nothing but a clear and sincere sky that takes your breath away every time it lands on you.

"Me neither. I wouldn't want anyone else even for a single day of my existence. "

[bigtittydemonwife]

The pasta’s love language Part 1

Jeff The Killer 

Protectiveness

 this is the most obviously way the bastard man lets you know he cares about you 

Behind the asshole tsundere attitude and I-don’t-give-a-fuck attitude about life lays another smaller asshole and buried deep under that lays the small boy that picked a fight with three bullies to protect his loving brother

Weather it’s him decking o**enderman for being creepy or saving you from a tricky last victim it seems Jeff always knows when your in trouble 

So low-key about it you never really notice his eyes on you until you’re being helped, and even then you never notice how they never leave

Jeff is like a dog, but not the loving wagging tail dog, the asshole that stands on your feet with his sharp claws, rips open your pillows and terrorises the mailman so much your mail is delivered by drone.

but he is also the dog that late at night sneaks onto your bed and whenever there’s someone strange approaching you on the street at night stands in front of you and bares his teeth 

Physical Touch 

Jeff’s love isn’t soft

Jeff’s love is as rough as he is 

Jeff’s touch is soft head-pats after you put someone in their place 

His touch is high fives after a successful mission where your hands linger together

His touch is quick side hugs before he goes off to go do something stupid 

Cheeky neck kisses in front of others to make you flustered 

fingers running though your hair or down your sides whenever he gets bored 

easiest way to get cuddled by this man? after a mission when he’s too tired to act like a tsundere  

Jeff is funnily like a cat in this regards, his cuddles are fun but he has to want to, otherwise it’s deemed as unnecessary

Defensiveness

Jeff isn’t a rational man 

So when he gets jealous his first response is to just stab the guy and run 

Ass a traumatised stubborn teen Jeff is quick to anger but he toe’s the line (aha reference) at when people disrespect you 

Is he an asshole to you all the time?

Yes

Is he the only person who can be mean to you?

Yes

Despite what everyone thinks Jeff does understand the difference between mean teasing and just being an asshole 

And if your someone like me who shows your love to people you care about by teasing and being mean to him he’s gonna understand if your friends are the same way 

What he does not accept is anyone who dares treat you like your lower than them 

thats when he pulls out his knife and commits stabby stabby 

Ticci Toby 

Physical Touch 

Unlike Jeff when Toby is in love he’s a touchy feely person

And once again unlike Jeff when it comes to cuddles Toby is most likely to be the one to initiate cuddles 

On a good day Toby recharges with touch

Most of the time he’s all over you 

His favourite way to cuddle is him on the bottom with you on his chest and your face buried into his neck 

If you cuddle with him like that theres a 97% chance you are not leaving any time soon 

He loves to hold your hands alot, Toby hands are an eternal mystery as sometimes their cold as fuck and others their super warm

After a really bad day when he’s had his alone time and recharged (which can take as long as a week) he just wants to lay with you a bit 

this usually happens when he’s burnt out (missions do not help) 

on days like that he wants to be held in your arms and rest his head on your chest

that way as he falls asleep he can hear your heartbeat and know your safe and alive 

Compliments 

Toby is an asshole, but he’s a lovable asshole 

And on a good day when he’s happy and in love he’s acting like a lovestuck school boy 

He’s the type to give you either the cutest nicknames or the weirdest 

One day he’ll call you love the next Mustard 

 His compliments are the sweetest thing ever because of how special they are 

instead of complimenting something basic about you (well not basic but well seen by everyone) he compliments you on some of the most obscure things that you didn’t think anyone noticed about you 

“I love how fast you talk when you get excited”

“I love easily you get along with sally”

“Your eyes glow in the sunset, it’s really pretty”

Ben Drowned 

Space

Ben is an antisocial person. 

He’s not bitter about it but most of the time he prefers to keep to himself 

Ben understands if his partner isn’t like that, but one of his ways of showing love is giving them space to be their own person 

While Ben does love to spend time with you and share interests and hobbies 

He is a human demon? ghost? thing that loves alone time 

And by giving you space and your own time alone it’s his way of letting you still have freedom to be you

Ben recharges his social battery with a quiet atmosphere so alone time or cuddle time is his favourite thing to do with you when he’s down

Don’t get me wrong he loves cuddles 

But that doesn’t mean he’s going to be clinging to you 24/7

Acts of service

Ben is a patient person 

Despite what people think all his years of gaming have taught him a lot about taking his time and how easier it is to get things done when he’s chill 

So he’s quite alright with doing things for people when they need help 

But even so he’s still his own person 

So he doesn’t usually do it for free unless it’s for someone he really cares about 

And that’s when you come in 

Ben is basically ready to do anything for you 

Will Jeff call him a simp? Yes, will he care? No 

In the end of the day he’s getting ass and Jeff’s not

Anyway 

You could ask him to hack the government for you and he would 

But basic shit is him bringing you snacks he stole from Jeff’s room when your hungry 

He just likes making you happy 

Physical Touch

Ironically enough in complete contradiction of the first one Ben actually loves spending time with you 

Not all the time, otherwise in his opinion the time he gets with you will feel less special 

But when either of you have a bad day he likes to either cuddle you and take a nap or hold you while you both/ he plays video games 

Ben’s a ghost? Thing so his body is always cold 

That’s one of the reasons why he loves holding you so much is feeling your warm body against him 

He likes to nap on your tiddys because 1) he’s perverted and 2) he likes to hear your heartbeat 

He finds the sound of it fascinating 

Sometimes he feels his pulse just because the shock of not feeling anything is fun to him 

Ben is probably one of the easiest pastas to date 

He’s like a house cat

Just give him attention and water and he can fend for himself all good 

Eyeless Jack 

Giving Gifts

Jack in love is a very very confusing thing 

Not because he’s contradictory but because the way he flirts sometimes ties into his demonic animalistic tendencies 

For example 

His gifts to you can sometimes be very sweet things that instead are normal gifts like flowers or chocolates but instead small things like breakfast in bed after a stressful mission (He may or may not use his acting like a doctor as an excuse yes EJ is the mansions doctor fight me bitch)

and then other times it’s organs like a heart or an eyeball, bones or a skull (sometimes animal) and sometimes even teeth, if your lucky most of the time once more they just belong to some pour animal in the woods 

and they say romance is dead

Jacks way of showing love is sorta a mixture of how some birds gift their mates things to flirt and how cats give their owners dead animals

He’s cute I swear 

Acts of Service

Unlike Ben jack isn’t going to drop everything to please you 

but once again the way he shows his love is more casual(?) (I mean he gives you dead things to show his love that ain’t casual)

and if he’s in a good mood/ had a good day then more often than not you’ll find yourself being spoiled in a completely Jack way?

You’re thirsty? He made you both coffee/ tea/ hot chocolate 

You’re on a mission and it’s raining? Take his jacket (not like he’s gonna die from the cold)

You’re hungry? Take a snack from his secret stash that no one else is aloud to go through (though most of the time it’s filled with organs)

Jack hates it when his lover is stressed so he likes to do whatever he can to help them out 

Physical Touch

I hate to sound stereotypical but Jack does this the most because he is extremely touch starved 

Trust me he’s not into PDA at all but behind closed doors he’s finding any excuse he can get to touch you ( with your consent )

he loves sleeping together because usually at night he’s reading or trying to piece together his broken parts

But when he’s holding you in his arms, and whispering how much he loves you in your ear when he’s sure you’re asleep he feels like he doesn’t to be whole 

that he can’t expect you to fix him at all, but being with you is enough to make him feel like instead of being broken, being fractured is alright 

But weather it’s his hand on your cheek on your hands laced together Jack likes to feel your skin against his 

fucckkkk I’m tired, this like took three days, you’re getting a part two when I don’t feel like my head’s trying to kill itself and no I did not spell check this nor will I ever as spellings for pussys and people who graduate school 

[earlgreytea68]

August was a rough month for me, and so to cope I hate-read lots of reviews of Sally Rooney’s new book.

If you adore Sally Rooney, probably don’t read this.

I had a quizzical relationship with Sally Rooney after the very first New Yorker review I ever read of her first novel, which seemed a little gushy over the idea that you could...show dialogue through instant messages???? The review talked about this like it was something stunning and new, but like...fanfiction has been showing dialogue through instant messages / tweets / chats during videogames, etc. for...a while now. (And the instant messages the review excerpted were...unbearable to me. Apparently this is, according to the review, “competitive banter.”

I’m just like...if my friends dm’d me things like that, I would be like, “...can we just talk about fall out boy, please????” Anyway, mainly I learned that this reviewer and I have a different definition of what constitutes “banter.” (To be fair, the reviewer says that it is the seriousness of the exchange that makes it funny. ymmv)

But anyway, whatever, life goes on, and then I came to this profile of Sally Rooney. And now I’m like, ...what the heck is going on with everyone and Sally Rooney??? Like, Idk, the profile is fine, but the author says things like:

And I am just like, there is some context there I’m missing, that sentence makes me feel no way about jewelry. And the author of the profile keeps coming back to it! She’s obsessed with the necklace thing!

And again in this review, there is astonishment at the fact that her characters...email. That they text. That they have Facebook profiles. And again I am perplexed. Like, I’ve read books with emails before????? And Facebook profiles???? And texting????? And I have read SO MANY FICS that tell the story through these forms of communication. It just seemed so odd to me, in the year 2018, that people were realizing that fictional characters could...write each other texts. How old were the people writing these reviews????

I shrugged it off and moved on with my life, because really, who cares lol.

But then I had a miserable August and my Google News feed kept sending me reviews of Sally Rooney’s latest novel, so I kept clicking on them because I COULD NOT read any of the reviews of Fall Out Boy’s fucking Hella Mega concerts lolololol and can I just say: WHAT IS GOING ON lolololol. Here are some selections of things in the reviews:

I...Is this not something so common to do that it is practically cliched???? You catch a lover’s eye across the room and you remember things about them???? Is it not a typical way of reminding the reader of the history so that you can get the reader back into the flow of where you’ve been????? Why does this review act like this was a shocking thing to do????

A number of reviews mention her stunning dialogue and then always excerpt something like...that, which...is...what????? I just always feel like I’m losing my mind when I read these reviews. It’s like The Emperor’s New Clothes all around me. I’m like, .....that also seems like fairly standard dialogue??????

This bit of dialogue is somewhat better than the previous highlighted bit, at least there’s a bit of verve to it, but it’s still just...okay????

Anyway, the reason I’m writing all of this is not to say Sally Rooney’s not great. I’m sure her books are fantastic. Certainly everyone seems to think they’re extraordinary. But I’m writing this to say that this is one of those moments where I feel bad for people who don’t read fic. I feel bad for people who think fic is just poorly written sex (as opposed to the way Sally Rooney writes sex, which all the reviews are obsessed with, and multiple reviews even quote the line “her insides were hot like oil” to show how awesome Rooney is at writing sex).

I feel bad because these people would clearly enjoy fic! These people would clearly enjoy the flinty repartee of a good fic. These people would clearly enjoy epic-pining-slow-burn-yearn-across-the-room-at-parties fics. These people would clearly enjoy fics where the characters fall in love via email, text message, Discord chat, Twitter war. These people would probably really enjoy Omegaverse, given the love for the “hot oil” line. It just really makes me sad that there’s this entire universe of writing that exists out there that I think many people would really enjoy that they just...have no idea how many amazing stories they could be reading, that’s all. And I think of it a lot every time I read someone else losing their mind over things that seem so standard as to be practically expected in a fic.

(I have, btw, read some Sally Rooney. Not her novels, but short stories. They were fine lol.)

[katnip225]

So remember that au where the dream smp is a comic book in the manhunt universe. Well more of that. This is what manhunt!Dream thinks of each character. Now I will just be using the real names but in the comic the names are different. Not doing the tales of the smp characters. Might also get some backstory for Manhunt!Dream

Techno - As stated in my prev post, this is Dream's fav character. He has regularly copied ideas from him. He loves all the pets that Techno has. And how no matter what Techno always follows his beliefs. Might also remind him of his childhood rival.

Phil - finds the character very funny. The 3 months thing. Through does have some very good serious moments like Nov 16th and Doomsday. The guy is clearly not perfect but he really has a hard time hating the guy. Only time he did hate Phil was during Doomsday for letting Friend die and hurting Ghostbur.

Wilbur - easily his 2nd fav. The way his fall was done. It was so heartbreaking. Then his revival. To find out about being alone for 13 years was rough. Dream feels for the guy since being on the run is very lonely. The only people he talks to is when the hunters get close enough for banter. He really hopes that Wilbur gets the help that he needs.

Ghostbur (yes counting this as a different character) - loves the guy. so sweet and just wants to help. Through feels very sad because of the memory thing and the blue. Plus the speech that he gave on Doomsday.

Tommy - this kid can't catch a break. He feels so bad for the kid. Tommy is a good kid that overall does not mean harm. The only thing that Dream hates Tommy for is killing the cat. Dream likes animals and while can understand why Tommy did it, still found himself crying over the cat's death. Dream always wanted pets but his life before on the run was rough and now there is no way he will get one

Tubbo - another kid he feels sorry for. Dream feels bad for Tommy but for some reason Tubbo hits harder. Maybe it is because Tubbo reminds him of one of his neighbor's kid. They are pretty similar in personality from what he remembers. He was sad when the neighbors moved. The scene of Tubbo crying hurt so much. He really wanted to jump into the comic and comfort him.

Ranboo - Easily his 3rd fav. The memory book. The ender walking. The weird connection to main bad guy. The begging to be locked up in the prison. Plus love the marriage to Tubbo. Really hopes they can talk to each other. This comic needs one healthy relationship that lasts. Reminds him of this enderman hybrid that helped. Found the kid lost in the woods and badly hurt. So helped get the kid back to help then took it to the village with the nice baker lady. It was a nice village so hopefully the kid is okay.

Michael - yes doing their son. Super cute. The in comic reason for keeping Michael inside is for safety. I like to imagine there is a small mini series of Michael playing pretend or sneaking out to meet the other kids.

Fundy - neutral. Does not like him but does not hate him. Through is curious about the seeing the future thing. Wonders if this is his god's blood in work. (in the comic, Wilbur is confirmed to be a demigod. Only Phil and Techno know about it but it was confirmed)

Yogurt - cute kid. Hangs out with Michael when he sneaks out.

Puffy - a cool pirate and therapist. Kinda wish that she was his mom. He does not have any parents but he feels like Puffy would be a cool mom. She went feral when Foolish was killed.

Niki - reminds him of a baker he meet once while on the run. This was before he was well known so he could risk being seen. She gave him some free cookies and gave him a discount on the bread when she saw that he did not have much money. Super sweet and nice but also not one to be messed with. He saw how that baker handled an attempted robbery. Sad to see her wanting to hurt Tommy but was so happy that she is healing.

Jack: Feels bad for the character since he is put through so much. Even had to crawl out of hell.

Karl - love the guy. The time travel spin off series is super cool. feels bad for the losing memories things.

Quackity - flip flops between feeling bad and hating the guy. Quackity has been through a lot and Las Nevadas is cool. But he is just doing what the main villian did. Please just heal so you can be at peace. Hopefully him and fiancés will get back together

Jschlatt - great villian. hated the guy. Also reminds him of his neighbors. The father. Through was a much better person. Actually wanted to give a better life for his son (Yes in this au, DadSchlatt is a thing and he is a good father)

Purple - felt bad for the ufo being blowen up but does not feel anything towards him.

Punz - He respect the guy. Reminds him of a mercenary person that once was after him. Through stopped after realizing that the pay was not worth all the chase. Needed to be payed more

Ponk - felt bad for losing his arm but otherwise neutral for the character

Skeppy - over all neutral. Nice guy and feels bad for the possession thing.

Eret - liked the guy then hated the guy then went back to liking him. Glad the character was making up for the whole betrayal thing.

XD - does know what to make of this character. Through does not trust the god with George

Drista - a fun character that can cause a lot of chaos. Would want as a sister. Yes he might get attacked by a fork but hey he already has a younger brother.

Kristen - not much is known about her. Only that she is Wilbur's mom (in the comic, Wilbur does say his mom is a fridge but I am going on what Phil said. Which is that Wilbur got confused when Phil pointed to the fridge which had a pic of his mom)

MD - fun guy. So sad to see him die. Was really helping Tommy

Mamacita - another fun character through has not been seen since MD's death.

Sally - in the comic Sally is a shapeshifter through the writer wanted them to be a fish. Their editor refused to allow that. Not really shown much outside flash backs. I go back and forth on how good of a mom she was. So if she was good then Dream liked her. If not then he hates her.

Slimecicle - very confused. not like conflicted. Just confused.

Sam Nook - like him. Only one he trusts Tommy with. If he could becomes friends with Hunter!Sam would totally ask if he can build something like Sam Nook

Sam - really hates the dude. Does not care that the main bad guy asked Sam to build it. Sam has control so everything is Sam's doing. Plus the whole thing with Ponk. Part of him does remind dream of Hunter!Sam but that was earlier in the comic. Hunter!Sam would never hurt his partner (Yes Hunter!Sam is dating Ponk)

Ant - again the character remind him of Hunter!Ant. Through overall neutral. Does feel bad for the whole possession by the egg thing

Sapnap - hopefully gets back with Quackity. The dude really gets the short end of the stick. Also reminds him of Hunter!Sapnap. Through hopefully his relationship goes better then dsmp!Sapnap (yes Quaickity and Karl are his boyfriends)

George - reminds him of Hunter!Geroge. The weird dream comics were funny. feels bad that the character can't tell what is a dream and what is real.

Bad - again remind him of Hunter!Bad. Only reason why Dream does not hate dsmp!Bad is because he is being possessed by the egg. He did not like Foolish being killed. Also finds it sweet that the character was willing to do something for Skeppy. (yes. Bad and Skeppy have the same relationship as canon)

Dream - is a great villian. very evil. Through as stated before. Does not like the prison treatment. Does see himself in the guy but it is like all his more negative traits were turned up to 1000. Through Dream is lonely and does not make attachments, there is one he can't get rid of. Since that attachment is why he is doing all of this

Foolish - can probably tell he really likes Foolish. reminds him of his younger brother. Foolish being killed was the one time he needed to put the comic down and take a break.

that is everyone. There are a few more that I really don't watch so have no idea what Manhunt!Dream's opinion would be.

[lucky-katebishop]

8 Underrated Comedy Mysteries

So weird comedy tv shows are kind of my niche, and I realized I’ve seen a few comedy shows that revolve around mysteries and an intriguing plot line, so I wanted to make a list to share them in case you haven’t heard of them! Not all of them are mysteries, like Miracle Workers, but it does have a plot that puts you on edge and every episode does end with a cliffhanger, so I’m adding it!

1. Santa Clarita Diet

I’ve already talked about this show on one of my previous posts, but that’s because I love this show so much and is actually the one that inspired this post! Santa Clarita Diet is about a woman, Sheila, who mysteriously becomes undead, and her family who try to talk her out of her impulsivity to kill anyone she sees and get away with it. Her husband Joel tries to figure out how she became undead, how to stop it, while also trying to keep Shiela’s murders under wrap so they won’t be caught. The characters are adorable, the women are badasses and the men have the most respect for women, and the comedy is top notch. Every time I watch it, it blows my mind that all three seasons take place over the course of like two or four weeks because that’s how much shit they have to get through just to survive. It’s a tad gory, especially with the first episode (there’s a huge vomit scene but that’s easily skippable) but if you don’t mind blood and guts, this shouldn’t be an issue! It was cancelled with three seasons but I still say it’s well worth the watch!

2. People of Earth

People of Earth is about aliens! It centers around journalist Ozzie who is investigating reports of alien abductions and meets a support group of alien abductees all the while actual aliens are looking at them from above. This was also cancelled but it’s a great mystery show which always ends on a cliffhanger. What makes it even more intriguing for me is that the aliens are able to go undercover as human beings so they can make sure that their identities aren’t being figured out, so it’s a great comedic fish out of water sort of thing. You’ll fall in love with the rag-tag team of alien abductors and abductees as you unravel whether or not the people of earth find out about what’s been going on. The comedy is witty and smart and you’ll quickly find that you won’t be able to stop laughing and watching. 

3. Search Party

This show is a fantastic millennial play on Nancy Drew (kind of like if it were mixed with Girls) where the main character, Dory, finds out that an old friend of hers disappeared and she becomes obsessed with it, trying to string along clues in order to find her along with the help of her self-obsessed friends. It’s so much more than I expected it to be, and I promise you, don’t give up on this show. The first episode is a bit rough but once you get going, you’ll become even as obsessed as Dory to solve the mystery of Chantal’s disappearance. I didn’t end up watching the other seasons, as I found season one to be so good that I was afraid of ruining the show for me (I kind of saw it as a perfect limited series and I was too scared that would be ruined) but from what I read, it’s still going strong with four seasons!

4. Barry

Okay, so this one isn’t that underrated, I’m sure you’ve heard of it, but it’s still nonetheless a very good show and I had to add it. It’s about character Barry who is a hitman who, while on his way to finish off an assignment, finds himself in the middle of an acting class and falls in love with it. He finds that giving up his old habits isn’t as easy as he expected them to, and he finds the balance between living a normal civilian life and carrying out the duties of his mercenary job a difficult thing to do, especially considering Sallie, an incredible actress in his class that he finds himself falling for. It’s hilarious, it’s depressing, it’s magnificent, it’s everything you didn’t expect but love and I really recommend this show to everyone (especially those who also had that weird Bill Hader phase after IT: Chapter Two came out). The reason I’m putting it in this category is because there is a mystery every season of whether or not his acting friends are going to find out about his secret life, and it’s very interesting and it always has me on the edge of my seat. 

5. Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency

What more could you want besides Elijah Wood, corgis, cute British detectives, badass female characters, and a really cool murder investigation? Oh, and a punk band! It’s been a few years since I watched it, so my memory is a little hazy on the plot, but what I can remember it’s about Todd (played by Elijah Wood) who becomes the main person of interest for a murder which he didn’t commit. Todd meets Dirk Gently, a man who claims that everything is holistic (meaning that everything everywhere is fundamentally connected in ways that is up to the universe), who begs him to join his detective agency to figure out the murder, which strings them along a very weird and very connected case. It has two seasons but was sadly cancelled, but the two seasons are extraordinary and hilarious. 

6. Trial and Error

Trial and Error is about new defense lawyer, Josh, going to goofy and backwards town South Peck to defend Larry Henderson who is being accused of killing his wife. It’s a hilarious take on murder mysteries, and each episode brings with a new piece of evidence. It has a wonderful father/son bonding relationship between Josh and Larry, and a colorful cast of misfits and oddballs who are all trying (in the words of the show) to get Larry off. I couldn’t praise this show more because of the goofiness and satirical nature of the jokes, all the while being incredibly heartfelt. It has two seasons, with season two revolving around the defense for self titled “Lady Killer” Kristin Chenoweth’s Lavinia Peck. 

7. Miracle Workers

What more could you want besides Elijah Wood, corgi- oh wait, sorry, this is Daniel Radcliff, my bad. An anthology series, the first season deals with angels Craig and Eliza who try to convince Steven Buscemi’s God not to obliterate the earth with the help of his right hand man Sanjay Prince by answering a miracle: getting awkward dorks Sam and Laura together. They only have two weeks to answer this prayer, which is a lot harder to solve when everything is going against them, including extremely shy Sam and Laura. It’s hilarious, it’s witty, it has Daniel Radcliff, I mean this is an extremely amazing show! Season two has nothing to do with a mystery, and revolves around the same cast as different characters in the dark ages, but I still highly recommend that one as well because it’s just as funny. 

8. Russian Doll

Thursday. What a concept! (Yes, that’s what that gif is from and in context it’s highly hilarious) This show is about Nadia, a woman who keeps her feelings to herself and her opinions out in the open, on her 36th birthday, who finds herself reliving the same day over and over again. She tries to solve the mystery and how to get out of that ridiculous time loop when she meets Alvin, a man who is also in the same time loop. It’s a story about love, friendship and loss, and I cry like a baby every single time I watch it. It has some of the most incredible writing and the pacing is excellent. It’s four hours of pure genius but it does also deal with trauma and depression so please check out the warnings. It came out in 2019 and I’ve watched six times, that’s how much I love this show! 

That’s the end of my list, I hope you agree with the shows on here and give me some recommendations if I missed some of your favorite mystery comedies. :)

[salface]

ALL OF THESE are studies/ramblings that build more on sal’s hometown/his past leading into the present canon throughout ch1-5 and potential influences on crossovers!

↪ WHY BRANCHVILLE EXACTLY? it’s a canon fact ( well, technically–by WORD OF GOD’S tweets that is ) that sal grew up in a RURAL new jersey town, rather than something similar to a city or large town, so he didn’t develop your typical jersey accent. i don’t know if you could really refer to branchville as a countryside, but it certainly has a population on the smaller side. ( less than 1,000! around 750-800 or so from the last recorded census. ) branchville also has a handful of camping + picnic sites either within it or surrounding it that align pretty closely to the flashback we see in sal’s nightmares. a few deep forests here or there, and it seems relatively close-knit and quiet. a big event like a murder and/or a brutal dog attack (supposedly!) would inevitably cause some kind of ruckus–with the fishers probably being in the spotlight for a while. henry mentions a bit in the storyline that they can finally leave all of what happened in jersey BEHIND them after their move–of course in reference to the attack and his wife’s death–but it’d make sense he’d want to avoid thinking about or acknowledging any kind of attention their tragedy received. at some point it’s not helpful and it’s just a dark reminder of the misery you experienced, something sal at the time wouldn’t have understood.

↪ WHAT WAS HIS FAVOURITE LOCATION IN HIS OLD HOMETOWN?  given the small population, there’s unsurprisingly not a lot to do within the town. you’d have to drive a bit to really find much outside of historical stuff–so if that’s your thing, cool! not so great for kids though. for what it was, he liked it, but he can’t say it’s necessarily memorable for many people who lived outside of it. he’s been to CULVER’S LAKE a lot, if anything just to have time for himself and ‘enjoy the outdoors’. ( though he still vastly prefers his video games, thank you very much! ) hanging out at WENDIGO LAKE nowadays has a similar relaxing effect, it reminds him a lot of home.

↪ HOW WAS HIS HOME LIKE BEFORE HE MOVED TO ADDISON APARTMENTS? prior to the attack, his memories are very HAZY. age aside, the trauma affected his memory a bit, so any specific details are more or less blurred into one staticky mess. he can’t recall anything bad though, and faintly remembers his third birthday and the christmas following–he liked holidays that involved being around family because his was rather small, so it felt more SPECIAL. after the incident though, once he was out of the hospital, things felt more GLOOMY. henry still tried to help his son grow up the best he could, but as the years went on his drinking got worse and sal ended up in a situation where more often or not, he’d find his dad passed out from drinking too much.  they had to save for years to actually afford the move, but it was planned since about 3rd or 4th grade, sal always had a few boxes packed in case that day ever came, so his room was mostly pretty neat.

↪ HOW WAS THE SCHOOL LIKE HE USED TO GO TO IN NEW JERSEY?  exactly what you’d expect from a small-town public school. everyone knew everyone, whether they were friends or not was an entirely DIFFERENT story. sal started school a bit later than others due to his injuries and that was something that was quickly noted about him. it made him stick out easier, and unfortunately, made him an easier target for BULLYING too. at first it was rough to get used to, but even then it didn’t expand that far past the occasional rude joke or comment, and he was able to turn the other cheek so to speak. he never really had any intent on fighting any of his bullies back, even his ‘friends’ after he gained the moniker ‘SALLY FACE’–he turned it into a name he could sort of be proud of, in a way, and it quickly lost its power. middle school was a bit rougher, and there were a few instances of his childhood bullies continuing to try and get under his skin–or his mask, in this case–and force his mask off. those instances were the few he actually DID sort of fight back, if you could even call that. he never SERIOUSLY hurt anyone, and for the most part outside of the other students on-and-off torment, he kept pretty decent grades and was well-liked by his teachers.

[bluehairedboyhcs]

larry johnson anything... that’s it... send tweet (but like... do a smut if u write that shit ya feel me?)

No specific time period/chapter but Larry is 18+ in this.

graphic! Bondage and slapping and things like that so if that might trigger you proceed with caution.

Ps- Ahem. This is my first time writing smut. Yes I’m a smut virgin, kind of ironic but true. So if it’s cringy or bad feel free to give me constructive criticism (but please don’t beat me up to much about it lol 😅)

Pss- Sally’s coming soon 👀

Larry Smut Headcannons

DOM DOM DOM DOM

-Very much into hair pulling and slapping but if your not into that he’ll find other ways to fulfill his needs.

- likes to know that he’s in control of your pleasure.

- he just wants to please you.

- just let him please you.

-if your into it he likes to say:

-“Who’s P*ssy/A** is this”

-“Louder. I want you screaming it by the time I’m done with you.”

Surprisingly sweet

- One might think Larry is really rough (which he can be) but for the most part he likes the romantic stuff

- holding you tight against him while you ride him.

- kissing your face when your under him.

- constantly telling you that he loves you.

- But he can be a rough, hairpulling, slapping, spanking, etc. dom if you want him to.

When he actually IS gentle:

-He still loves dirty talk but it’s mostly praise

-“Baby you feel so tight.”

-“F*ck, just like that. Your doing so good.”

-loves to fondle and rub you

-if you have breasts he is ALWAYS touching them

-if you don’t it’s your a**

-gently kisses you

-just wants you to know how much he loves you

Compliments, Compliments, and more Compliments

-If your insecure about your body he will stop at NOTHING to make you feel beautiful

-“God, your so gorgeous.”

-“You look so hot like that.”

Bondage

- likes to know that you aren’t going anywhere.

- likes to know that he’s in charge and you can’t do anything about it.

- also likes the way you look blushing like hell with your arms and legs tied to the bed.

- possibly upside down if your into the intense shit.

Favorite position is doggy style

- easy access to hair? Check.

- easy access to hips? (aka place to grab you for when he wants to rail you) Check.

- amazing view? Check.

Vocal

-loves to show how good you make him feel

-constantly dirty talking

-“You like that baby?”

-“Do I/Does daddy/ Does sir (if your into that) make you feel good?”

- When his moms around he tries to keep things quiet but if it’s literally anyone else he couldn’t care less.

- “Hey dude could you keep it down next time? I could hear you from my room.”

- “Oh sorry dude. Yeah, I’ll try to keep it down”

- *proceeds the same as usual*

- Sal claims to hear you two going at it in his nightmares sometimes

-Everyone thinks he is, but he’s not joking.

Public s*x

-horn dog at all times even if your in public.

-If he notices someone looking at you he’ll grab your a** and look them directly in the eye.

-your his and he’s not afraid to show it.

-his favorite is dressing room s*x.

-he’ll find the most revealing clothes and ask you to try them on and when you come out to show him he always pushes you back into the dressing room and goes to town.

-he gets off on the fact that anyone could catch you

-likes to f*ck in the living room when no one’s home

-it’s the adrenaline rush that does it for him

He loves to give you hickeys

-he WANTS people to know your taken

-he loves the way you look when he pulls away from you to see the hickeys he’s left on you.

-blushing and hot as hell with marks all over your body

-just proof that your all his

-calls you his latest piece of artwork

Is really into brat taming

-he won’t slap and spank if your not into that but you WILL know who’s in charge here

-if you say no (a safeword is a given of course. Larry is huuuuge on consent with the kinks he has) or don’t follow the rules he will either spank, slap, pull hair, or if your not into that he will absolutely rail you.

-“Go ahead, say it again and see what happens.”

-“Your gonna regret that.”

Ahem... Oral

-Loves to see you writhe because of him

-Will go slow just to see your reaction

-Keeps going even after your org*sm

Hope you enjoyed! If your wondering why I bleep certain words, I have no clue how Tumblrs filtering system works so I’m just trying to stick to the safe side just incase. If you guys have any advice with how to deal with that please let me know! Thanks again! 💙

[sally-mun]

OKAY BITCHES ON TO PART 2!

Also don’t forget to check out Part 1 if you haven’t yet!

British

Okay so maybe it’s in poor taste to start the British section with dolls I’m not actually sure are British, but fuck it. The one on the left is a doll I’m reasonably sure I got from a British seller, and the one on the right seems to just be a scaled-up version of it, SO. That’s what I’m going with.

No joke, the left doll is my favorite Sonic plushie EVER. It’s so incredibly fluffy and the proportions are just right and it’s really well-made and AUUGHH I LOVE HIM. Interestingly the doll on the right is made of the same uber-fuzzy material, but it doesn’t have as much of a fluffy effect because of the larger scale. Also the shoe stripes are ribbons for some reason, which makes them stand out from all the other dolls.

So this is from a line of dolls that, as far as I’ve ever seen, are simply known as “Europe prize” plushies. I don’t know if they were actual prizes for some sort of game or claw machine or whatnot, but that’s how I tend to see them listed. These dolls are REALLY nicely made and incredibly cute, like way more than usual. I also have the Knuckles from this set, but he doesn’t live in this net so he’s not pictured here.

I know this line also included Sonic (obviously), Amy, and Shadow, but I’m not sure who else. I’d REALLY like to get the others someday, but I don’t have much hope for that, since they’re long since out of production and prices just keep going up as everyone cashes in on nerd collector culture.

This doll is fine enough on its own (if a bit fearful in the eyes), but what’s really odd about it is that it’s like literally twice as tall as the other dolls in its line, for some reason. I have the Sonic and Tails from this set, and their sizes both match each other, but for some reason Knuckles is a tall boi?? Oh well.

I believe this set also includes an Eggman doll, but I’ve never seen it before.

I wish I’d thought to showcase it better in this photo, but the tag on the bottom of Sonic’s right foot here is the real spotlight of this doll. I don’t know much about the background of this doll, but i know that tag on his foot is what distinguishes him from other Sonic dolls, and collectors go NUTS for this guy. I remember missing out on one years ago because the shipping was too costly (it’s always been rough importing from Britain, but it used to be a lot harder), and for a while I thought I’d never get one. Oddly this one that I did eventually nab is the only one I’ve ever seen with suction cups. I’d like to hope that one day I could get the one that doesn’t have them, but I’m not holding my breath.

Following the last doll, I’m sure a lot of you are immediately noticing that this Tails also has the tag on his foot, albeit a very faded one. This doll is also super odd, because EVERY other time I’ve ever seen this doll before, it has NOT had the foot tag! This one is the only one I’ve encountered with the tag, and I didn’t even know it had it until it arrived in the mail. This doll is also about 50% bigger than the Sonic doll with the foot tag, maybe he goes with the non-suction cup’d Sonic plushie? I don’t know off the top of my head how big that Sonic is supposed to be, so it’s possible! Or maybe these dolls have nothing to do with each other, and I bought some weird anomaly. Definitely one of the weirder Tails plushies in my collection.

Australian

EASILY the ugliest doll I will ever own, short of maybe obtaining the Tails that matches this set. (Trust me, the Tails is REALLY FUCKING UGLY.) I have such mixed feelings on this lil guy because, as many of you already know, this is one of the elusive Sega World Sydney dolls, which means it’s EXTREMELY rare and thus meant to be treasured... and yet holy shit guys how did you fail so hard on this doll. I mean FOR FUCK’S SAKE HE DOESN’T EVEN HAVE SOCKS! OR FINGERS!! There were plenty of Sonic plushies in the world by the time this doll was created, and they all socks and fingers, let alone better designed faces. I dunno man, I don’t know how to reconcile how ugly this doll is.

And then there were two.

Those of you that’ve been following me for years have probably already seen these before, but fuck it, here they are again. The Sega World Sydney plushies are the ONLY official Sally plushies to exist, and like the Sonic one, it’s really difficult to reconcile how incredibly ugly they are. I mean I can at least cut them some slack with the faces I guess, because the one on the left isn’t terrible I suppose. I think the fact that she doesn’t have hands is really stupid, but I mean, if Sonic didn’t get fingers I guess I’m not surprised Sally didn’t either. No, the thing that really gets me about these Sally dolls is the hair. It’s hard to tell from this angle but it’s.... bad. Oh my god it’s so fucking bad. It looks like she had a bad incident with a weedwacker. WHO THE FUCK DID THEY HIRE TO DESIGN THESE PLUSHIES?!

Whatever, I don’t turn away official Sally merch. Vests exist for these dolls, but as you can see I don’t own them for either of these two. I do have a third, smaller Sally that DOES have her vest, but she doesn’t live in this net. Maybe another time!

More bad Sally hair, this time without legs because she’s a hand puppet. She probably has the worst hair of all of the Sally dolls I personally own, it’s very clumpy and matted. The others’ hair is at least still fluffy.

I’ll let the fact that she doesn’t have hands slide here, being a puppet at all, but even then it’s only because I’m feeling generous. There’s no reason she shouldn’t have had them.

SOOOO not technically a plushie, but it was in the net and I’m doing Sally items right now anyway, so fuck it. This is a mini-backpack, but the fabric is so furry that it’s pretty much impossible to get a clear picture. I left the strap there sticking out just to help give some idea of what shape you’re even looking at.

I can’t remember what I paid for this, and honestly I don’t care, because it’s so unique and I’ve never seen another one since.

Bootlegs

A friend of mine sent me this as a surprise a few years ago because he thought it was cute, and I definitely have to say it’s one of the more fascinating items in my collection. Most of the time bootleg merch is trying to imitate something official to confuse the buyer, but so far as I know this is completely original! I love it because it’s what I imagine Sonic would look like if he were an Animal Crossing character. The most bizarre detail of all, though, is that the tush tag has the logo for Detective Conan instead of Sonic the Hedgehog. I HAVE NO IDEA WHY.

This is a fake version of the Fang/Nack doll from Sonic the Fighters, but honestly, I don’t mind at all that it’s a bootleg because holy shit this doll is higher quality than some of my official ones! (I’M LOOKING AT YOU, SEGA WORLD.) According to the pictures I’ve seen, I think he’s actually even better quality than the original he’s copying!

It’s hard to describe just how nice this doll is, because the picture seriously does not do him justice. The stitching is perfectly clean, the proportions are absolutely perfect, the fabric is soft and high-quality, and oh my god the HAT!! The hat is AMAZING, it’s actually solid and holds its shape VERY well! The same goes for his tail too, on that note. Plushies with long tails tend to have trouble maintaining their shape, but this doll’s tail is really well done. He also has a much longer muzzle than most dolls of this time were willing to use, which again helps his proportion and overall accuracy. I don’t give one single shit that this doll isn’t official, I love him so fucking much! <3 <3 <3

Other Dolls

What can I say, I fucking LOVE Nick Wilde from Zootopia, and this is one of the best dolls of him I’ve ever seen. It’s actually really nicely made (they put a LOT of work into his shirt), and he’s very soft and huggable. Also, bless that smarmy expression, they got it just right.

Jumbo Tom Nook! This is the only jumbo plushie of him I’ve ever seen, so I’m glad I was able to nab it. The fabric is oddly shiny though, and I have no idea why?? I have several Tom Nook plushies from different doll lines, and I’ve never seen another one that’s shiny like this.

Decided to picture these guys together because why the fuck not. I apologize for the lack of clarity, but I’ve never been willing to open their bags. I want them pristine~

One thing I think is cool about the Undertale dolls is that there’s so much uniqueness put into each one. They all have differently shaped tags to reflect their individual personalities, and the plastic bags they come in have different patterns as well. The fabric patterns all completely unique to each one as well, so they’re not all clones of each other (especially with Papyrus).

You can actually still buy all of these guys right now on the Fangamer website! They’re pricey, but you get a quality that makes the price worth it, and you get a discount if you buy them together!

Vault Boy from Fallout, and for some reason I’m just now realizing that I don’t know what vault number is on his back. I feel like a terrible fan, FORGIVE ME. He has also never come out of his bag, so sorry for viewing difficulties here as well.

Companion cube ‘fuzzy dice’ for the car. This is one instance in which I have actually not used the car-related plushie in my car, as at the time I got this it was VERY difficult to get companion cube merch of any kind (these dice were actually a compromise with myself because I still couldn’t afford a regular cube), and after the work I put in to find these I definitely wasn’t going to risk them in my car! Just as well anyway, because they’re awfully big and would’ve been pretty cumbersome to look past.

...I did, however, put these in my car for a while. These are fuzzy D20 dice, because come on, if you’re going to hang dice in your car and have the option to use these, how can you not?? It definitely got a lot of compliments, even from people that simply saw them through the window. I didn’t even play tabletop games yet at the time, I just really liked them~

AAAAND THAT’S IT~ At least, that’s it for this net! Maybe I’ll do this again with the other nets sometime, if you guys would like to see more. I do have another one that also very much needs a dusting, so we’ll see!

Thanks for tuning in!!

[dem-cp-hoes]

Sorry to bother you, but can you do some wholesome/cute head canons for the creepypastas please?

You're not bothering at all, no worries😊

Though I think these turned out to be general hc rather than cute but... 🤷‍♀️

---------------------------------------------------

Jeff:

I think it's pretty much canon that Jeff names his knives. Most people would think that he gives them badass names but nah...

His favorite is named Martha, no one else is allowed to touch her

There's also Kule, Austin and Annie, sometimes he talks to them (mostly about Liu)

No, you can't point it out/comment on it, it'll upset him

Smile is his best friend, Ben is jealous

His hair gets curly after a few days, which means he has to straighten it with an iron

He also puts his hair buns, or ponytails around the house (he looks good tbh)

^the reason he always has hair ties as well

He's either dead asleep or hasn't slept for 4 days straight, there's no in-between

Not a total asshole all the time, surprisingly

He doesn't make mean comments about things that hit too close to home

Like, sure he's gonna tease Toby for his ticks but he's never gonna mention his sister

He makes up his own curse words

He puts on chapstick, but no one knows

Everyone knows, they've seen him, Ben has a video

He talks during movies, questioning the logic and making comments about characters' decisions, nobody minds bc it's hilarious since everything he says is on point

He drinks the sweetest coffee with milk and 3 spoonfuls of sugar at least

Loves romantic movies, but he has a reputation

Has a small cactus in his room, it was a gift from Ben, he takes good care of it

Ben:

He has freckles!!! He has freckles everywhere!!! (sorry I got excited, I just love freckles) but bc of the whole dead/demon thing, you have to get close to him of you want to see them

Owns a lot of fandom themed hoodies and t-shirts

He can mimic a lot of cartoons' voices, including the jigglypuff song, it's quite impressive

He's very proud of it

Ben is a genius, since he's mostly attached to a computer he has access to anything the internet has to offer, so lots of knowledge

Sometimes he can answer like Alexa/Siri does if someone calls his name and asks something

The others think he can't control it and ask him things all the time

He absolutely can control it and only does it to fuck with them by giving them bullshit answers that sound legit

He collects action figures, what a dork

Has a hamster, his name is Picachu

He gets teased a lot over it, let him live pls

The others secretly love it tho

Loves to watch people argue through their cameras

He lives for the drama

"Ben what are u doing?" "I'm watching this couple in New Jersey, apparently Sharon cheated on Nick again, but this time with his sister!!!"

When he giggles/gets embarrassed his ears become bright red

Sits on the floor, sits on tables, sits on Jane, Slender is convinced he doesn't know what a chair is

Jack:

Any perfume with a very heavy scent makes him sneeze a lot

He refuses to believe he is hurt/sick

Jack, while being held down by all the proxies: Guys, I told you I'm fINE, I CAN WORK TODAY, JUST LET ME GO!!

He has a lot of animal mannerisms

Like licking someone he likes on the cheek, purring/growling, sniffing etc

Bruh, you scratch behind his ears or under his chin and his whole chest vibrates with purring

He tilts his head on the side when he's confused, like a dog

Loves scented candles, he has a bunch of them in his room

His favorite scent is lavender

He can in fact eat human food, it just can't sustain him all that well and anything that is not overly seasoned tastes bland

With that being said, he loves spicy food bc he can taste it properly

Jane screamed when she saw him eat an entire plate of ghost peppers with no milk

The jingle of keys makes his head turn sharply towards the sound, once again like a dog

He can fall asleep anywhere, and I mean anywhere

The porch? More than once

In another's room? Of course

In slender's office? That was quite an interesting thing to explain

In the middle of the kitchen? Yeah, once

He's just a sleepy boi

Jack is the one who knows everyone's ticklish spots bc gives check ups

Likes listening to audio books on his free time

Masky:

He drinks Irish coffee (for those of you who don't know, it has alcohol in it)

Once Masky called Slender dad (sleep deprived) and then proceeded to slam his head down on the table and say a bad word

Sally once made him a flower crown for his birthday

He refused to take it off for 5 hours!!

Won't sleep with less than 2 pillows

He considers his one True near death experience to be when he almost choked on one of Jane's fake eyelashes (long story)

He has mastered the 'disapproving face' game', even when he wears the mask, you can feel it's there

He's around Toby, what did you expect?

Doesn't trust giraffes ("why are they so fucking long????")

He has a very contagious laugh when he really laughs, even when he just grins

Can give the best hugs, hands down

Like you feel so warm and protected when he hugs you

And it doesn't help the fact that he smells like the forest after a rainy day.... (now I want a hug)

Hoodie:

He has dirt on everyone

Mainly bc he's quiet and reliable so people tell him stuff

Has Masky saved in his phone as 'Bae' and when people see it they ask, "Is he your boyfriend?"

And he replies with, "Nah, it stands for Biggest Asshole Ever"

Drinks tea by the gallon

Reigning champion of "How many objects can we put on Jeff while he sleeps"

Hoodie has those "hoe don't do it" moments pretty much every day

Jeff trying to start shit, Ben is planning a prank on someone, someone insulted Slender. Every time

Award winning smile

His hair is the softest thing ever I swear-

Will make tea for anyone he sees that's having a rough day

He likes to sketch people, he's actually pretty good

He likes to read books to calm down

If someone wants to he will read out loud to them

Toby:

Don't give him energy drinks

It won't make him hyper, oh no, but it will make him do dumb shit

Once, Helen made the mistake of handing him a red bull, and let's just say he was found playing a mix between 'the floor is lava' and 'don't let the balloon touch the floor'

It was intense

President of Protect the Bees and very proud of it

Will follow through with literally any dare, he takes impulsivity to new levels

Will let Sally do his hair and dress him up to play princess

That friend who sends you fucking memes at 3am just to be a prick

It's easy to get him flustered, especially if someone flirts with him

He is obsessed with sour sweets, not even he knows why

There's no such thing as personal space, he's comfortable around everyone

Gets excited when he sees a cartoon on tv from when he was a kid

Places the stickers Sally gives him on the headboard of his bed

He knows how to say, "can I pet your dog?" in 4 languages

[fangirl-imagines]

Say It Again//Barry Berkman

A/N: Done in collaboration with @starting-now, inspired by Bill Hader’s character in Forgetting Sarah Marshall, where he is endlessly patient with his step brother then blows up at him for insulting his wife. The crazy talented @starting-now has done a similar imagine with Barry defending the reader over on their blog as well that you should all check out. 

You had known Gene for a long time and had been his assistant for almost just as long. He taught the acting classes and was in charge of the school while as his assistant, you managed the business side of things for him, making sure that the checks went out for rent and utilities, handled signing up new students, collecting student fees, even helped him run classes and acted as a stage manager of sorts for him.

Needless to say, you had put up with a lot from Gene Cousineau over the years. He was your boss and your friend but he was also one of the worst assholes you had ever met. And today in particular he was really living up to that title.

You knew he was supposed to hear back about an audition today and judging from his attitude today, it hadn’t gone well. He had already made Sally cry once this morning during rehearsals for a class play coming up and you could tell Jacob seemed close to tears when Gene was done with him. You shook your head, sipping your coffee and offering Jacob a reassuring smile as he left the stage. He didn’t return it though, frowning deeply at you as he rushed into the wings. You bit the inside of you lip and looked over at Gene who was sitting coldly and calmly next to you. 

“Do you need a break Gene?”

“No, what I need are better actors in my class. Because none of these people will cut it.” He whispered harshly, turning back in his seat to face the stage. “Come on, next scene. Barry and Sally, you’re up! And Sally, try to make me believe you for once!”

You resisted the urge to roll your eyes at him and sat back in your seat. A small grin made its way onto your face almost involuntarily at the sight of Barry and Sally on the stage though. Despite her earlier break down Sally seemed calmer now, though she was still struggling with projecting her lines even though she was hitting her marks like a champ. You smiled proudly at her performance, letting your eyes slide over her to Barry and his performance. He stuttered slightly, his nervousness obvious as he keeps looking down at the script in his hands while he speaks.

He’s almost more reading aloud than acting at times but the longer the scene goes on the more relaxed he becomes, causing you to smile. You know how hard Barry’s been working at his acting, wanting to be the best actor he can be. You’d even run lines for this very scene with him last night. You knew he could be a good actor given enough time and practice and the thought makes something warm and proud grow inside your chest.

“Okay, stop, both of you.” 

Your smile drops at Gene’s sudden exclamation in a bord tone. Looking over you could see the emotionless expression on your boss’ face and knew that he had not seen the same improvements and signs of promise in the two actors as you had. Gene stood slowly from his seat, walking out into the middle aisle of the theater so that everyone's eyes were on him.

“Barry, Sally, were you trying to make me sick?”

Barry blinked a few times while Sally’s face dissolved into one of crushing disappointment. This was her second time being reprimanded by Gene today. Sally and Barry both looked at each other and shook their heads.

“No.”

“No, of course not.”

“No? Well that’s to bad. Because if you had been trying then I would have told you, you actually did a good job for once. But since you weren’t trying then you both really are just that terrible.” 

“Gene!” You stood up from your seat so quickly you almost dropped your coffee on yourself. The back of your neck felt hot as you spoke in the calmest voice you could manage while all eyes turned on you. “Can I speak to you a minute? In your office?”

You left no room for argument and raised your brows challengingly  at Gene when he looked at you funnily. He sighed dramatically and shook his head. “Alright everybody, take five.” 

Barry shook his head at you in confusion but you simply turned on your heels and stormed out of the theater, not stopping until you were in the main office. Gene followed you quietly, shutting the door behind him. You turned and shook your head disappointed.

“What the hell was that?”

“That’s what I’d like to know. It’s like they are trying to ruin this play. You know it’s only two weeks away?”

“Yeah, I know. That’s why they’ve all be practicing every chance they get. I know they’re not perfect-”

“You got that right.”

“But they’re trying! Maybe you should cut them some slack for once.”

Gene looked at you like you had just told him the sky was orange. He scoffed at you. “I’m sorry, are you running this studio?”

You opened your mouth, hands moving to your hips but he didn’t let you speak. “Oh wait, you’re not. I am. And you’re what again?”

You sighed, pursing your lips before answering, “Your assistant.”

“Exactly. I run the studio, I teach the classes and you’re my assistant.” He started to turn to walk out of the room before turning back around to look at you. “I know Barry is your boyfriend or something but that doesn’t change the fact that he’s the worst actor in the class. Just because you’re screwing him doesn’t mean I’m going to go easy on him in there.”

You paused, looking up at Gene suddenly. Your eyes were wide, your teeth clicked when you clenched your jaw. You stared at Gene, crossing your arms across your chest.

“You really want to have this conversation with me Gene? Do you really want to have this conversation right now?”

There was a hard edge to your voice that Gene wasn’t use to hearing. It took him by surprise so he nodded. That was all you needed.

“He is one of the most dedicated actors in your class and I love him! Screw you Gene, he gives everything to this class, all your students do, and you treat them like shit just because you can!”

You took a deep breath as Gene stared at you wide eyed.

“Yeah, he’s going to be fantastic actor one day and it’s got nothing to do with you! He already can learn all his lines, hit all his marks, and understand his characters, give him time and he’ll be the best in this class! You want to be a dick just because you failed an audition Gene?! Well maybe you could learn a little something in persistence from your students then. You tear them down and they get right back up their on that stage. You may be my boss but you’re a dick! You think you can run this place without me? Really?! I do everything for you except yell at your fucking students. Do you really think you could run this place without me? You narcissistic prick. Talk about Barry like that to me again and you’ll have to find out.”

You sighed, all the anger and frustration draining from your body with the end of your speech. Your face still felt hot and flushed, Gene was staring at you dumb struck. You shook your head.

“You’ve just got to get your shit together Gene. I know its rough out there for everyone. Acting jobs are hard enough to come by for a younger actor but that doesn’t mean you get to come in here and tear good actors down because of it.”

Gene nodded, still staring at you wide eyed. You cleared your throat hesitantly, “Well, I’m gonna get back out there.”

He nodded again, “Okay.”

You nodded and brushed by him out of the room. You closed the door behind you softly, turning to come face to face with Barry.

“Oh! Geeze, Barry. You scared me.”

“Sorry, sorry. I heard screaming, are you okay?” 

“Oh, yeah I’m fine. Gene and I were just-, How much of that did you hear anyway?”

He said nothing for a second before a shy smile breaks out on his face, “You really think I’m going to be a fantastic actor?”

You shook your head, wishing he hadn’t heard all of that. “You know it’s rude to eavesdrop.”

You sighed at the down turned expression on his face and his small, shrug.

"You're fantastic already Barry. Just a little rough around the edges is all." You blushed, looking anywhere but at him. "But everyone needs practice. Come on, everyone's waiting."

You brushed by him, still coming down from the anger you'd felt earlier and embarrassed that anyone else had heard you that way. You were stopped by Barry's voice however when he caught up next you in only a few steps.

"Hey, thank you." His serious tone caught you off guard. "No ones ever really stood up for me like that before."

You took a deep breath, wondering about what happened to this man in his past but then smiled like the two of you were now in on some secret. Which you kind of where if you counted him overhearing you yell at Mr. Cousinean in his office that one day about how he treats his students a secret. Reaching up on your toes you kissed Barry gently. 

"I've got your back Barry Block."

You winked for good measure before slipping back into the theater.

[mobius-prime]

222. Sonic the Hedgehog #154

Songoose (Part 2 of 2)

Writer: Karl Bollers Pencils: Ron Lim Colors: Jason Jensen

Today's issue is a bit bittersweet. While Karl Bollers hasn't always been the most popular writer, and I've definitely had my fair share of problems with certain aspects of his writing, it's hard to deny the heavy impact he had on the world of the comic. And this just so happens to be his last issue as a writer! That's right, though we've seen various writers come and go, this is the first time we're truly saying goodbye to a head writer. (You might be wondering about Michael Gallagher given his increasingly infrequent involvement with the series, but fear not, he's still got a few more future issues left in 'im.) Apparently he actually had quite a few plans for the storyline and characters post-StH#134, which was a while ago, but for one reason or another these never came to fruition, and never even had a chance to be salvaged for future issues by other writers due to his leaving the comic. So let's dedicate this issue to ol' Karl and the hard work he put into this comic, and appreciate what he brought to the table over the years. Onward!

It's the night of Mina's second concert, and the various Freedom Fighters are positioned at strategic points around and behind the stage and crowd to guard the venue from any more assassination attempts. Mina is pleased with Sonic's involvement in her protection detail, but Ash is considerably less so, and asks to speak to Mina privately before her performance. Sonic initially tries to refuse to leave her side given his duty to her, but when Ash gets in his face about it Mina steps in and tells Sonic she'll be okay to have a quick chat. Sonic reluctantly leaves the dressing room, and Ash confronts Mina about her decision to go through with tonight's concert, as he really feels it's too dangerous. She reiterates her feeling of security with Sonic around, and Ash's feelings of jealousy finally spill out as he details Sonic's perceived failings, including how he (totally unintentionally mind you) broke her heart a year ago by kissing Sally in front of her. He paradoxically refuses to "forgive" Sonic for… not dating Mina, I guess? Which you'd think he'd be pleased about considering that's the only reason he ever got to date her, but she stands firm against his tirade.

Really bad timing on this, Ash. Honestly, though, as abrasive and jealous as Ash can be, he's not wrong at all about his accusations, and in my opinion has every right to feel slighted and upset. He really does seem like a guy who's flawed yet genuinely likable - I mean, put yourself in his shoes (assuming you're not down for open relationships) and tell me you wouldn't feel the exact same way upon seeing your girlfriend routinely eyeing up another guy. Plus, he isn't flaky - notice that despite breaking up with Mina, he explicitly states his intentions to remain as her band manager. A lesser person might have left their ex high and dry out of spite, but despite their disagreement he's still completely ready and willing to help her organize everything she needs to remain a pop star. Careful, Mina, you better remember "Aly's" advice to you from a few issues ago before you let this guy slip through your fingers…

Outside the room, Sonic gets a call from Sally looking for an update, and when he lets slip that he let her stay in her dressing room alone Sally scolds him for not sticking to her like glue, ordering him back into the room to check on her. When he enters he's surprised to see her sitting alone with a sad expression, asking her what's bothering her. You'd think he'd have some clue of what was wrong considering he would have just seen Ash angrily stomping right through the very door he was guarding, but Mina just says she doesn't know how to explain, which Sonic quietly agrees with the sentiment of. She's able to collect herself for her performance, though, and begins by singing another song that definitely feels inspired by her crush on Sonic. However, Eggman's plan to kill her is still moving ahead, and he sends out Heavy and Bomb (well, Bombs, there's a lot of them) to infiltrate the concert crowd once the concert is well underway.

Sonic immediately grabs Mina and pulls her away from the edge of the stage while the rest of the Freedom Fighters rush in to battle the Bombs, something which I find funnier than it should be considering they're, well, bombs, and the best plan for dealing with bombs on legs would usually be to run the hell away from them before they blow up. Nevertheless, they seem to be holding their own by throwing or smacking the Bombs away before they explode, though Ash finds an excuse in the situation to insist once more than Sonic leave so he can protect Mina on his own, even somewhat spitefully pointing out that Mina was fine without Sonic for an entire year before now. Sonic initially refuses, but when Heavy himself arrives, crashing down onto the stage to target Mina directly, Sonic concedes and tells Ash to take her somewhere safe while he fights the robot one on one. At first Sonic teases and trash talks as normal, but when Heavy gives him more trouble than he bargained for he concocts a plan to drill into the earth and bait Heavy into following him, then drill straight into the nearby lake from below. This washes them both out into the open waters, disabling Heavy in the process. I'm not sure exactly how this plan even works, considering we've seen in previous issues that Heavy is waterproof - I mean, did Eggman take out that feature when he rebuilt him? - but either way, it does work, though Sonic falls unconscious once he gets washed out. Man, between his first battle against M in StH#132 and his easy escape from a watery grave in Anti-Mobius just a few issues ago, it really seems like later comic issues like to play fast and loose with the whole "he can't swim" character trait. Sometimes he can detangle himself from tight rope bonds and swim to safety without a problem, and other times he blacks out within scant seconds of touching water, and you never know which one you're gonna get till the plot calls for it. Of course, he's fine after waking up on shore, having been rescued by Bunnie, and the Freedom Fighters tell him that as far as they can tell they disabled or destroyed every Bomb in the area, meaning Mina is safe once more. With the threat ended, Sonic and Mina say goodbye to each other for the night, with Sonic making Mina promise they'll go out for chili dogs sometime soon. However, this wouldn't be a story if something didn't go wrong…

I like to think that this isn't even a case of the Freedom Fighters randomly missing a Bomb, rather being part of Eggman's plan - send in the big, obvious cavalry first to be fought and predictably defeated, then send in one last little Bomb to finish the job once everyone's guard is down. The explosion alerts everyone outside the backstage area, and they rush in to find Mina sobbing over Ash's body. Don't worry, though - when they rush him to the hospital Dr. Quack is able to get him in a stable condition, meaning that though he has a long slow recovery ahead he'll ultimately be fine. Sonic escorts a distraught Mina into Ash's room, where she admits her true feelings to his sleeping form.

I'm surprised that Sonic genuinely seems a little disappointed at their reconciliation, but then again, he and Mina were clearly shown to have some chemistry even before the time skip, though Sonic was obviously drawn more to Sally. It seems that with he and Sally currently being on the outs, and Mina having split from Ash, he had actually considered taking the chance with her - I mean, they did agree to a chili dog date after all - but now that's obviously not happening. Well, maybe the chili dog date is, but not Sonic and Mina becoming an item. What I'm trying to say is, this page has just sunk your Sonic/Mina ship. Fortunately, with this second failure Eggman has decided that trying to kill Mina is too hard and not worth his time, so she should be safe for now. He still finds himself lamenting the loss of his robotic body, however (something that you'd think should be child's play for him to fix considering previously roboticizing himself is literally part of his backstory), finding his current organic body too breakable. The use of that word suddenly makes him pause, having just come up with a new idea… but Karl certainly won't be the one writing about it, as with that final line of dialogue, he's officially completed his time as head writer for the Archie Sonic comics! Sayonara, Karl Bollers - though there were certainly some rough patches, on the whole I enjoyed your work on the comic, and we'll miss ya!

More Than Meets the Eye

Writer/Pencils: Ken Penders Colors: Josh Ray

…though remember, we are still dealing with Penders for a few more issues yet. Since the mission into Megaopolis a couple issues ago, Rotor, Uncle Chuck, Tommy, Tails, and Snively (plus apparently Fiona, for some reason) have all been hard at work studying and trying to understand the nanites. They try blasting them with a ton of electricity, but when that elicits no response from the nanites Tommy worriedly thinks Snively killed them with the zap, though Snively corrects him that biologically speaking, they're not really "alive," nor is anything that Eggman makes. While you may be technically correct from a scientific standpoint, Snively, I think Nicole might have a thing or two to say about your assertion that machines can't be alive…

Well! It seems Tommy was also unconvinced by Snively's words, and his tear splashing down into the nanite goo triggers some kind of reaction, prompting them to rapidly spread out and reach tendrils of themselves towards him. He's understandably a little freaked out and retreats into his shell, but the nanites don't hurt him as they make contact with the shell - in fact, the sensation is ticklish and causes him to start giggling uncontrollably, which must make for a very weird sight as Uncle Chuck reenters the room to investigate the noise. Tommy assures him that he's all right - and then from out of nowhere, his shell sprouts a pair of goddamn wings, because why the hell not?

I initially took issue with this concept due to it being established canon that the nanites can only absorb and reshape non-living matter, whereas turtle shells are definitely living matter, being full of nerve endings and basically being formed from repurposed bone matter from the turtle's ribs and pelvis. However, the above dialogue seems to indicate that they were able to fuse with Tommy's shell anyway by connecting straight into his nervous system. I would guess that after Sonic introduced the nanites to the concept of organic and synthetic coexistence a couple issues ago, they were just waiting for the chance to "study" an organic specimen in their own weird way, and Tommy just happened to end up as their test subject.  Chuck and Tommy call everyone else in, where he notes that the nanites seem to react to his thoughts without said thoughts actually controlling the nanites directly. He demonstrates this by thinking vaguely that he wants to go somewhere, prompting a pair of jetpack engines to sprout from his shell and ignite, carrying him straight out of the lab and into the sky above Knothole. The others watch with an odd mixture of bemusement and amusement as the nanites fly Tommy's body in a pattern, using contrails to write "We're just going for a test drive" in the air. Well Tommy, looks like you have a really cool and unique new ability! It'd certainly be interesting to be fused with self-replicating nanomachines that react to your thoughts and wishes by morphing themselves in ways to grant those wishes, especially when they seem to actively like their host.

[cutegirlmayra]

Happyhoganon: You make a prompt for me that have to do with Pre-SGW Sonic and Post-SGW Sonic chatting (after saving both of their timelines from destruction)?

So, this was hard to research for. There was a LOT of history… I would like to thank my saving grace @solerwolf21 for being such a great friend and help during my research of Archie Comics.

This will probably not be done moving forward. In my prompt rules, I’m making sure to be more stricter about them, so if I really don’t know about the prompt you’re asking for, I may just save me the trouble and say I won’t do it. However, that was implemented after you posted this prompt request, Precious Anon. And it is my duty to fulfill my promises!!!!

As a result, here is my best attempt after learning a spark note history of the Archie Genesis Waves XD

PROMPTS ARE ON SHUTDOWN! I have one more prompt to go, restrain thyselves! The gates shall open shortly once they are all done!

Prompt:

It wasn’t a happy ‘family’ reunion.

The two Sonics were caught in a ‘limbo’ effect caused by Eggman’s backfire of experimenting further with the Chaos Emeralds.

Luckily, the effect wouldn’t last long, but Sonic saw his other timeline and knew it was gonna feel longer than what it really was.

He couldn’t run from this talk, though he really kinda wanted too.

He had been fighting really soul-searching inside himself to understand the long lost memories, but now wasn’t the time to get all sentimental.

“You sure don’t look like a reset.” The Other Sonic scoffed, folding his arms before deciding to just go through with it and talk. He put his hands to his hips and leaned forward, snarkily. “What? Afraid to face your trauma you thought you escaped from?”

Sonic grimaced, that scowl was something he was used to seeing through the eyes of someone else, not necessarily himself…

“Not very charming to greet an old friend.” Sonic joked back, but was biting on his words. He held himself back, “Long time…” he began.

“No see.” The other Sonic seemed to respect that fact, and also straightened up a bit. “You mind telling me why you look so sour?”

“…Things aren’t all rainbows and sunshine on my end, either.” He tossed a hand out, gesturing while he spoke.

“Really? Hard to imagine.” The Other Sonic narrowed his eyes. “Yeah, must be awful. Your friends and family alive, kicking and fighting just like the old days? Must be rough…”

Sonic shook his head, “This isn’t a contest.”

“A contest!? Why are you trying to act so cool now!? I know the real you! I know what’s it’s like to-!” the Other Sonic lunged forward but didn’t dare to move too close. It was obvious to the both of them that they couldn’t really touch each other, this was mostly a mind-over-matter situation. The whole experience was probably just in their heads, but they both felt real, and that made this conversation very awkward…

“Bunny… Antoine…

                                            Sally..?”

Sonic remained silent, but couldn’t bring himself to close his eyes to what the Other Sonic was asking.

“…Right, you have to admit it there, pal. You sure have some nice daises this time around.” The Other Sonic was closing himself off again, looking away and folding his arms, tried of this Sonic’s pitful excuses. “Your time has nothing to complain about.”

That got Sonic.

His head whipped up, stepping forward, “Daises grow on top of graves!!! We may not have had your exact struggles, Other me… but we’re just as much a team that suffers and laughs together as much as yours was!”

That made the Other Sonic’s eyes jump with feeling. They held themselves wide and open to this Sonic’s words…

His anger was replaced with sorrow… and he dropped his arms, tilting his head back to this Sonic.

Sonic sighed, trying to compose himself, “We may have been built upon your suffering… but that doesn’t mean… we…” he thought about his words carefully, trying not to be so impulsive. He could feel that beast inside of him and didn’t want to feed it any further.

“It’s time to let the past, or what was once the past, die along with the future that never happened for them.”

The Other Sonic gripped his fist tightly together.

“And what if we didn’t want to go away..? Not like this… not to what you are… though it may be somewhat better.” he turned back to Sonic, “I still miss it.”

“…There were the good and the bad.” Sonic scratched behind his head, “But I wouldn’t say I miss it… some of that good still remains, maybe even more than before this whole mess… but again, that mess doesn’t exist anymore. It may clutter our thoughts, now that we remember so much… but it’s not us anymore. Just watch. We’re gonna be better than you.” he gave a confident and stern look back to his other.

The Other Sonic acknowledged it, looking him dead in the eye, as though challenging him to dare and say it again.

“We’re gonna survive, just as you did. We’re gonna do better than that though. We’re gonna survive my way. The Sonic way.”

He continued to hold eye-contact, as though making this Sonic swear to it.

“I won’t let you or anyone else down again, other me. I’m Sonic. Sonic The Hedgehog. I’ll keep my friends, family, and everyone else save from Eggman or whoever dares tries to threaten my world and my home. Mobius… it’s not just a place. It’s a life that lives inside all of us. No matter what happens, we’ll all find a way. Life goes on. Memories change and fade over time. Nothing’s truly accurate or even concrete anymore. Not in this world. We’re gonna make peace with what was or might have been… and I’ll show you.” he extended his hand.

The Other Sonic smiled, almost chuckling at the action he knew that this Sonic understood he couldn’t complete.

“Entrust me with it?” Sonic finished, “The future of this world.”

He stared a good minute, his head hung down, tried of trusting and having it backfire and blow up in his face.

But he did hold up his hand, as though a gesture of ‘farewell.’

“You better not disappoint.” He smiled, returning to a time he knew he could never relive again.

“…I’ll do more than that.” Sonic smirked, his usual cheery, confidence showing through like a radianting light upon a lighthouse. “I’ll strive to impress you.”

“Ha!” the Other Sonic mocked, “Alright, you do that.” He waved him off, walking into the light as the vision-like experience began to fade.

“Just do me one thing…” The Other Sonic stopped as the light began to envelop him.

He turned with a kind look upon his face back to his present self, “Just make sure…

                              Everyone… and everything… ends with a smile.”

END.

(How’d I do, partner? XD)

[ravenwolf1132]

Family Matters

Ok everyone! Here we fucking go, my HP/SD crossover! For those of you who are not aware, I posted this on my fanfiction account a while ago then decided to rewrite it. This is the rewritten version. If you want to read the original, it's still up on fanfiction.net but I'm not posting that one here.

Now the story follows Harry when after his third year at Hogwarts ends, his relatives are out of commission thanks to a car crash. Which lands him at the Mystery Inc household cause, low and behold, one of them (a certain Norville Rogers) is his distant cousin. For there shenanigans ensue. The Mystery Inc are in their mid to late 20s and we have a nice heaping helping of Poly Gang since all four of them are married. Also, Shaggy is a werewolf and the entire Gang knows about magic, unbeknownst to Harry who is actively trying to hide his magic from them and does not realize they already know. So that's going be a trip and a half for Harry when it's finally revealed.

On with the show!

(Ok, I tried to put this in a read more but I can't find the HTML option. So uh, enjoy the long post I guess??)

Chapter One - Welcome to America

It was odd when Harry was waiting outside King’s Cross Station and the Dursleys had yet to arrive. Maybe they had finally given up and stopped caring? Fat chance, though, there were two parts of him that both felt relieved and almost betrayed. For the longest time, all Harry had wanted was a family that cared about him and when he was younger, he did everything in his power to try and earn a real place in the family. Of course, early on he realized that was never going to happen, so he just stayed quiet and did as he was told. In hindsight, perhaps he should have fought back against the Dursleys, do everything he possibly could to defy them, show them that he wasn't a failure or a waste of space, and if they wanted a monster, a demon, a devil, they should have gotten one. Though that might have landed him in Slytherin by the time he got to Hogwarts, maybe it was worth it, just to get some payback. Ron would’ve never believed him had he heard Harry's thoughts, though he was sure, at least, that Hermione would be on his side. 

Though, Harry would never get the chance to get any form of payback since, on the way to pick up Harry from King’s Cross, they had gotten into a car crash. Vernon perished on impact and Petunia was fatally injured. Dudley managed to get out alive with only a few injuries, but would never manage to remember anything about the crash and quite possibly, a lot about his life. Harry wrapped the leather jacket that Sirius had given him around his body as he waited for the Dursleys who would never arrive. It was nearly lunch when Harry finally gave up and started to walk. He slung the bigger-on-the-inside satchel that Hermione had charmed for him that held literally everything he owned in and continued on his way.

He never took the time to admire London, despite how many times he had been here and the fact that he lived just outside the city in Surrey. Hedwig was perched on his shoulder with her head tucked under her wing leaning against the messy curls on Harry’s own head. As they walked, Harry glanced at the tall buildings and marveled. Sure, magic was impressive, but sometimes, what the Muggles do, what they can make and build, and what they take for granted and seems mundane to them, is even more impressive. They built all of this without the aid of magic, and perhaps that was a good thing. While Harry was eager to leave his past in the Muggle world behind, it still fascinated him to no end. Same for Hermione and even Ron.

Hermione, of course, grew up in the Muggle world, but still wasn't content on leaving that world altogether. She went to summer school to catch up on the courses they don't have at Hogwarts and even started up a little tutoring club in third year for muggle-born and half-blood students, occasionally the odd pure blood, for Muggle classes. She did extensive research on how to be a teacher for certain classes and eventually had to ask the upperclassmen for help. The older Ravenclaws, especially the muggle-borns, took to the idea immediately. Contrary to popular belief, most of the ravens don't actually care about grades, what they value is the knowledge. Through hanging out with them, Hermione started to pick up their philosophy as well. She began to prefer her own study and learning methods over the teachers, only after she did some research on them to make sure it does work. She gained a particular hatred towards Snape, because while he may be a great potions master, he was no teacher. 

When he and Ron joined her little group, which had attracted attention from across the entire school, Ron was of course a little apprehensive. Ron grew up with an all Gryffindor family and a very biased one at that, especially towards anything that wasn't strictly light side. Sure the twins were an exception and perhaps Charlie and Bill, but still, whatever way you look at it, no matter how good they are, the Weasley’s are a biased family. However, slowly but surely, after being exposed to so many different people, from different alignments and houses and mindsets and even religions, Ron slowly began to let go of the biases he grew up with. It even got to a point where he could tolerate Slytherins and understand not all of them are bad, begrudgingly, but still. He found that there were many like-minded people he found in Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw houses that were fascinated by Muggle tech and wanted to find some way to get it to work around magic. When Hermione saw the work he was putting into it and he found the motivation to actually do his homework from it, she left him to it, even encouraging him.

Last year, Ron would babble on and on about the things that he and his little tech group found out about, he even told his dad about his findings which helped him to finally get noticed amongst his family! Watching Ron be so happy and relishing in the feeling of finally being noticed for once, made Harry and Hermione happy for him too. They encouraged his behavior and it helped mellow him out too, no longer did he feel the same amount of jealousy or envy from being Harry's friend because he was being dotted and fawned upon now, and Harry happily took a backseat to this since he never really cared much about his fame. When he did feel stressed or had a bout of jealousy coming on, he'd smile and wait it out, trying to think about other things and often retreating to his work. Harry and Hermione could easily pinpoint what causes him to retreat, sometimes he's had a rough day, others he needs to cool off before he blows, and sometimes he just has this random bout of inspiration and has to get working on it before he loses the idea. He's grown accustomed to carrying around a sketchbook and notepad in classes so he can write down and sketch out his ideas.

A new dynamic had taken root among them. Ron had turned into the inventor, the strategist, he was the one to come up with plans and give advice should they need it. Hermione became the researcher, the one who keeps the others informed, not much changed here. However, while Ron may be good with long term and more permanent plans, and Hermione was their walking library, both of them had weak points. Ron's plans were great and all, but you can't change them on the fly easily, and Hermione, while amazing when it comes to knowledge, didn't know how to handle a stressful situation well. That is where Harry comes in. Harry is a quick thinker and very observant, he can work well under pressure and is at his best helping others. Each member of the golden trio balances the others out. Without Ron, Harry and Hermione won’t know what to do with themselves. Without Hermione, Harry and Ron wouldn’t have a clue what they're doing. And without Harry, Ron and Hermione would end up in situations where they can't get themselves out of.

As he dwelled on this, reminiscing about how far he and his friends had come, he realized he had gotten lost, and hungry. Pulling himself back to reality and the present, he looked around for somewhere to eat and get directions from. Noticing a small corner cafe, he walked in and up to barista.

“‘Ello there, lad,” the barista welcomed, “welcome to Cali's Corner Cafe, my name's Sally, what can I get for ya?” 

Harry turned his head up to the menu, feeling Hedwig's soft feathers brush against him. “May I have a BLT club with Turkey, ham, provolone, and extra bacon? Oh, and a couple of cucumbers? No dressings, please.” he asked shyly.

“of course, lad,” Sally said, “Any drink? Soft sodas or juice?”

“Just water is fine.”

“Coming right up!” She chirped. “Why don't you go find a seat? We'll call you up when it's ready for you.”

Not wanting to move very far, he sat down at the bar table. Thankfully, this cafe didn't sell alcohol, so he was allowed to sit up there. While he waited, he reached into his bag and pulled out a notepad for him to pass the time with. The spell Hermione had bewitched the bag with didn't require any sort of wand-waving to summon things from it, all you had to do while having a clear picture of the object in mind, was stuff your hand in and pull out once you grasped it. Though sometimes it doesn't always work, so you grab something that's the wrong thing. Thankfully, he pulled out the notepad and not something like one of his school books, summoned a couple pencils, erasers, and sharpeners, and started to work on the first thing that came to mind. Since he was hungry, he worked on a new recipe that he had been dying to try out. Sally came back over with his food and Harry pulled out his wallet with a Gringotts bank card and paid quickly. While Sally was handing him his recite, she looked over at the Tele. 

“Oh dear, how awful.” Sally bemoaned, Harry looked up from his half-eaten a sandwich and feeding Hedwig some of the extra bacon strips. “That intersection is quite dangerous, I hope everyone made it out ok…”

Harry glanced over at the Tele and saw it depicting a crash just a few blocks from Kings Cross. Maybe that's why it was taking the Dursleys so long? The more he watched, the more he began to recognize the victims of the crash. There was a walrus of a man hanging out the windshield of the car, obviously dead and very familiar to Harry. The two just barely surviving members of the crash looked strikingly similar to his aunt and cousin. But the thing that made him realize that they didn't just look like his relatives, was the license plate number, it was his uncle Vernon's car! He jumped out of his seat, startling Hedwig from her perch.

“What's wrong, sonny?” Sally asked worriedly. “Do you know them?”

“‘Know them’?” Harry echoed, “They're my aunt and uncle! I live with them! Oh god, if they're gone, where am I gonna go now?!”

He started shoving his things into his bag and Hedwig tried to comfort him by perching back on his shoulder and nuzzling him.

“Alright, alright, sonny,” Sally said, trying to calm him down. “We'll call a constable to see what to do, ok?”

“Yes, please do!” Harry begged, “And hurry!”

Harry didn't know how this had happened. The constable was a nice man named Constable Wright and was able to confirm that Harry was their nephew. Unfortunately, with no living relatives, they had to search elsewhere in order to find him someplace to live. However, they did find out Harry had a distant cousin in Ohio, America. They quickly arranged a short-notice flight to America after contacting his relative, a man named Norville Rogers, and having him agree to take Harry in. So, Harry went from a 10 hour train ride from school to Kings Cross, be in London for only a couple hours after finding out his aunt, uncle, and cousin are dead or badly injured and in no fit shape to take care of him, to an 8 hour flight from the UK to Ohio in less than twenty-four hours. What a great way to kick off the summer.

Harry was determined to let sleeping dogs lie when he got to America, but he couldn't help but feel nervous. What if his new caretaker was like the Dursleys? When the plane finally touched down, Harry grabbed his satchel, which managed to convince the constable that it was all he needed, and headed down to the baggage claim. Standing there, holding a sign with his name on it, was a very tall man, well over six feet, waiting for him. He had long light chestnut hair pulled back in a ponytail at the nape of his neck and his eyes were a honey golden color, he wondered for a moment if he were a werewolf. He looked ragged, like a more clean-cut version of Professor Lupin just without all the scars. He had a small beard on his chin and a bit of a five o'clock shadow. He wore a white tank top underneath a green flannel and had beige cargo pants and a set of black leather dress shoes. Sat patiently at his side was a large brown service dog sporting the signature vest and collar leashed to the man. That had to be Norville. Funny, he was expecting a lasso swinging cowboy or lumberjack redneck, not a scruffy bohemian hippie man. 

With Hedwig perched on his shoulder, Harry cautiously began to walk up to the man, silently praying that the dog wouldn't attack him on approach and that this man, his other cousin, was nothing like the Dursleys. The dog stood and with the sudden movement beside him, Norville also looked to the side. He gave Harry a friendly smile, but Harry's body had already frozen still and tense. The dog began to move forwards slowly and Harry could feel his heart racing, was it going to attack? His body hunched over, his shoulders coming up and he lifted onto his toes, keeping his arms tucked into his body and his knees loose should he need to run or fight the dog off. Hedwig noticed this and spread her wings enough so she could easily take flight and kept a glaring golden eye on the dog. The dog, whom Harry could see was practically his height on all fours, faltered a little when it saw Hedwig prepare to strike, but continued to come closer. Eventually, the dog sat in front of Harry and bowed its head looking up at him. So, the dog wasn't going to attack him? But all the other dogs attack him, why didn’t this one? Is it because it's a service dog? But aren't they known for protecting their master’s too? Looking down at the pooch, it was waiting for Harry to do something. Holding his hand out slightly, Harry reached for the dog’s head and went to pat it, he hesitated for a moment before his hand came into contact with soft, fine, fur. He visibly relaxed at the touch and scratched the pooch's head, its tongue poked out of its mouth and its tail swung lazily side to side with content.

“Sorry, Pooch,” Harry said, “I'm just not comfortable around big dogs, I thought you were going to attack me. Looks like your a better dog than all the ones I've met.” Of course, that didn't count Sirius or Lupin since they were actually people.

“Well, like, looks like you made a new friend, Scoob ol’ boy.” The man, Norville, Harry guessed, his cousin. He smiled at Harry, giving him a wide goofy grin. He held his hand out to shake, “Nice to meet ya’, kiddo. Name's Norville Rogers, but just call me Shaggy.”

“‘Shaggy’?” Harry echoed, tasting the word, it left a sour taste in his mouth, “Sorry mate, but no matter how good you are with the ladies, I am not calling you that.” Harry didn't care whether he was being rude to the man or not, he wasn't going to call someone the equivalent of having sex.

“Eh? What do ladies have to do with anything?” Norville inquired innocently.

“What? Do you prefer blokes, then?” Harry asked, raising an eyebrow. Scooby snickered as Norville’s face reddened. Though through the look on his face, it was surprise and embarrassment, not anger, that caused it. Norville chuckled.

“Well, it seems there's, like, a cultural difference here, cause in America, the word “shaggy” means scruffy or messy.” He explained.

“Oh,” Well that made more sense, but it also made this next bit more complicated to explain. “well, in England it kind of implies you like to…” he looked around as if he were about to tell a secret. “That you like to have sex.”

“ah,” Norville stated simply, his eyes widening a bit. “Well then, I guess we need to find something else for you to call me then.”

At that moment, both their stomachs rumbled, Norville's louder than Harry's. Harry rubbed the back of his head, embarrassed, and put a hand over his stomach. Both of them laughed softly.

“After we get something to eat,” Norville said. “I'm starving and I'm sure you're hungry too from your flight. C'mon, I know a place downtown.”

Norville turned and started walking towards the door and Scooby looked back at him, gesturing for him to follow. These guys didn't seem too bad, maybe things will turn out alright.