#saka would Love to show you how much you mean to him

[dragonpigeons]

Happy Valentine's Day from Saka and his bonsai tree 🌳💗

Made this for my bonsai acc on twt

[my-rose-tinted-glasses]

My memory is terrible so I wanted to do a breakdown of my stuff every once in a while. Might be monthly, might be whenever I feel like it. Also there are too many shows on and something is always finishing or starting so a month is a lot.

BL - Currently Watching

1000 Years Old [2/12] - It's silly, and entertaining and makes me laugh. The friend group is delightful and I'm having a good time watching them. Was excited for a minute when Yo suggested a haircut for Pun because I cannot handle that wig. 🤞

Anti Reset [5/10] - This is one of the most frustrating shows I've watched in a while. The show doesn't seem to settle on what is actually trying to say about the AI of it all, and when it says something I'm not crazy about it. Why is it so frustrating? Because they are so fucking endearing when they're together on screen. I wanna love this show so much.

Cherry Magic Th [11/12]– I love them so much. I'm fascinated by the choices that the show is making. As a big fan of the manga and the jbl I came into this with reservations and this show is just blowing my mind. This was the best episode 11 of all time and Tay/New are delivering. My heart is so full with this.

Cherry Magic Anime [7/12]– Another helicopter ride! Yay. The date song was hilarious. We're now getting to the point where they are dating and Adachi is feeling guilty for lying so I'm curious how the show will adapt the next phase of the relationship.

Dead Friend Forever [10/12]– Glad to see we are all on board with Tan's murderous impulses. It's been so much fun having more people join in on the fun. As for me, I NEED White to stay alive. That's really all I want. Getting curious about how Perth factors in to all of this.

My Strawberry Film[2/8] - I feel it coming. I see sadness in my future. But I'm bracing because I'm loving the look of this show. And pining boys are my favourite type of boys. I'm ready.

Ossan's Love Returns [8/9] - The videos messages destroyed me but then that ending made me annoyed. I don't know what to expect in terms of Kurosawa but I hope he's not actually dying and there's a really good reason for all this. Medical mal practice might be the thing. Although as @twig-tea pointed out to me, since it was said in show it might not actually happen. I want happy for the ending anyway.

Perfect Propose [5/6] . Why must I only have them for 6 episodes??? I need more. Kai is everything to me, and that back hug followed by that smile melted by cold heart. Hiro's boss needs something heavy to fall on him from a great height. And please Hiro,sweetie, I need you to eat better and sleep.

Although I Love You, and You? [7/10]- Sakae is letting me down. And by that I mean, the show is letting me down. Sakae needs to put his foot down with Mizuki and go back to being a fool in love with Soga.

To Be Continued [1/8] - It's not amazing. but I'm a sucker for second chance romance and there are two couples so there's a 50% chance I will like this. We'll see. Also, they need to start hiring younger actors for the high school flashbacks. This goes for A Secretly Love too. Having 27 year olds and up playing ten years younger just won't do. It's terrible.

Unknown [2/12] - I'm intrigued. Not completely sold yet but I'm liking it so far. Also nothing would keep me away from watching Sam Lin again.

Also watched the first episode of A Secretly Love and caught up with City of Stars but it's on the 'I need to shut of my brain' schedule so I'm not necessarily watching to weekly.

BL - Finished

Cooking Crush - I will miss all of them. I loved it so much. The whole cut/uncut version thing was annoying and the editing was weird at times but overall this was wonderful. Communication done right. Relationships and character growth was stellar and both couples won my heart. Aungpao really surprised me, considering he was surrounded my pros on all sides. Dynamite was a joy to watch. And OffGun delivering with all the kissing. Everyone should watch this.

The Sign - I mean, what they did to this show is absolutely insane. Not airing the finale like the rest of the show. Having to pay extra for happy ending is ridiculous (although I kinda predicted this and @lurkingshan is my witness. I said as a joke and it turns out reality is a joke.) Then waiting 2 whole weeks for whatever that was. Just the most unsatisfying experience. Go read this from Shan because I agree with everything said there. Also @bengiyo final thoughts here really echo how I felt about this show overall.

Happy Ending - 20 minutes split in 3. Why? No idea. Was it a happy ending? I think so. Was it cute? Sure. Was it great to watch Seong Hyuk again? You betcha. But I didn't love it. I need Choco Milk Shake S2, like, TODAY.

Playboyy - It ended.

Rose Watches OJBL - I feel bad about this. I didn't watch any of the ones I planned to. This might seem like whatever but I've been trying to catch up with awards season films, because since uni, me and a couple of friends always do it and finish it by watching the oscars together and so ojbl was were I dropped the ball. Gonna restart soon though.

Not BL - Watched this month

Night Has Come Death's Game Shop for Killers

That's it for right now. As usual my ask box is open for gif requests and any other questions. All my gifs are under #rosygifs.

Have a good week💜

[nayruwu]

This ques has been bothering me since I entered in this fandom.... How important is shinya to guren. Guren is surely very important to shinya as even his desire was to 'never give up on guren' but what abt guren. What I mean to say is:-

- guren has a lot of people who he loves and it's often (no, always) difficult to understand what his priority is, it's like his priority changed depending upon the situation,but then when someone is imp to you they are always your priority right?, talk abt shinya then I belive his top priority is guren. Therefore I'd ask 'is shinya guren's priority?'

-shinya has often seen showing his care for guren but that's not case with guren who is a tsundere but even if we talk abt actions guren has done a lot for shinya but he has done the same for 'the others' too I'm not saying he shouldn't but if I were to compare then, 'if shinya was the only one who died then would guren have touched the taboo?'

-guren has had a quiet a few people who are important to him like sakae, mahiru and shinya, again I'm not saying I want guren to consider shinya more important than his *father*, but when talking abt shinya i don't think he has had such people in his life therefore guren is somene 'different' in his life but I guess that's not the case with guren so, 'will it be easy for guren to sideline shinya?'

- finally, if some is important to us we care abt their emotions more than (or in addition to) their physical presence right? But the past few actions of guren he is kind of ignoring shinya's emotions

That's it ( ik that's quite long) but honestly thanku for even giving some time to read this silly question. I can be wrong , and if i am then please correct me.

Also I am not saying I want guren to make shinya his top priority I am just asking his importance in guren's life, and in order to do that I may have compared a few chracters but at the end of the I love guren and shinya and till the time they are happy I'm happy

a long ask requires a long answer. ghostwritten by my lovely friend mr. guren expert because there's no way i could have done this. hope you don't mind!

Those are some. pretty loaded questions with alot of nuance to them, but I'll do my best to reflect on them.

To dive right in, I think "If Shinya was the only one who'd died then, would Guren have touched the taboo" is an absolutely fascinating question to do this case study on. Of course, Guren ending the world was not something that happened exclusively because of the value Shinya holds to Guren. Being predestined, there were multiple factors at play, and I think your question is quite difficult to answer, specifically due the complexity of these circumstances. You're under the assumption that Shinya places a higher value on Guren than Guren does on him, because he never had any other attachments before him, and Guren therefore becomes his priority by default right?

Well I don't think the fact that Guren has attachments outside of Shinya, necessarily takes away from how much Shinya means to him. If anything it elevates that. In resurrection (Book 1, Page 24) it says "If Shinya didn't come back, Guren had violated the taboo for nothing." This idea is brought up multiple times throughout the book and does at the very least imply that had only Shinya lived, Guren would not have been the one to cause the catastrophe. Now while that is not the exact same case scenario, it does affirm the notion that Guren values Shinya's life above the lifes of his other friends, and perhaps, Mahiru if you want to take her into the equation too.

But I also know that Guren didn't only end the world for Shinya's sake, even if that might've been at the forefront of it. While I totally see your point about Guren having things Shinya lacks, you also have to understand that all of the attachments Guren has are under constant threat of being taken from him. By the time Guren ends the world for Shinya, he has already lost Sakae, he never had Mahiru to begin with and he has barely just found companionship with his friends.

(I don't think that comparing Sakae and Shinya's importance to Guren does much to prove a point either way, because Guren has never found himself in a situation where he had to weigh their lives against each other, like he did with Mahiru. When Sakae died, Guren and Shinya had only just begun to be friends in earnest and Shinya was always on Guren's side in trying to lift Sakae's execution order. While Guren does seem to prioritize a duty towards his clan over a duty towards saving Mahiru, Shinya is not within that. Yes, with his clan Guren had a semblance of community that Shinya never did, but i don't think it influenced whether or not he would end up valuing Shinya above it later on.)

I suspect that the fact that this was new for Guren too, friendship without the weight of expectations his Clan or Mahiru placed on him, factored into why Guren was so vulnerable, why he couldn't withstand. Guren didn't exactly have much autonomy under the Hiiragi regime and a big part of why Guren is "a tsundere" as you so delicately put it is because he is afraid that being emotionally attached to something, showing "weakness", wanting to save others, will cause them to be annihilated. And he's right at that, too. It's a threat both the Hiiragi and the curse of the resurrection pose. It's literally what caused him to end the world in the first place.

While Shinya isnt the first person Guren ever loved, he still holds a special symbolic value to him. It's about how they would've won had they died together, it's about weakness as the correct path, it's about reminding Guren of what he believes in and who he wants to be. I think you can most recognize the importance Shinya holds as Guren's moral compass in the last catastrophe book as well as resurrection, and you can see the care Guren has for him in his constant consideration of whether or not what he is doing is right by Shinya. Right in general.

The thing about Guren is that at his core his character motivation is that he wants to save everyone (whether that centeres around the liberation of his clan, or just people he generally deems weak (marginalized so to speak) or the resurrection of all of mankind.) But this isn't an entirely selfless ambition. (Guren's desire to save Mahiru has also always been. conflicted for this reason.)

Guren does acknowledge that this desire also stems from a need of approval, as well as jealousy and want of power. Oftentimes Guren will end up in situations where this is challenged head on, because he cannot in fact commit himself to saving everyone and simultaneously get what he wants, and is therefore forced to choose between the two obstacles.

When confronted with a choice like that, Guren will usually take a fundamentally selfish approach to it, sacrificing others for sake of his own pursuits: risking or sacrificing lives for the sake of saving Mahiru, sacrificing countless lives for sake of resurrecting Shinya (and his other friends), as well as the sacrificing of lives and the human experimentation he was involved in for sake of resurrecting humankind.

See Guren does in fact prioritize Shinya—else he would not end the world for worth of this one life, nor go to such gruelling lengths is finding a way to keep him alive even when the means to do it require him to contradict the principles he believes in. But unlike with Shinya, it is an inherently selfish act for him. While Shinya doesn't want to save Guren for the sake of any personal gain, not giving up on Guren being a purely selfless ambition, Guren is not satisfied with that. The thing I think Guren rationally believes, the moral stance he would take in an argument, is that there is no way to measure the value of a human life and no one is superior to anything. Guren is a very anti authorian character in that regard. Still Guren, in that very selfish irrational way, does value Shinya's life above all others regardless of this belief.

It's not really that Guren doesn't want to prioritize Shinya, I don't think, (because again that is too much of a rational approach to this), but more so that he knows he can't fulfil both a goal of resurrecting all of humanity and peruse his personal wish of keeping his friends alive. But this is what you have to understand right, it's that. Guren doesn't care that that's likely not possible. He will try in vain to keep pursuing both goals at once anyway. And that's where the conflict emerges from. You bring up that you don't think Guren is very considerate of Shinya in this regard, and congrats youre right about that. It is another sacrifice he feels he has to make. Hurting Shinya is a necessity in keeping him alive and I think Guren is sorry about it, but not willing to change it. I don't think Guren's goals and priorities are something that is inconsistent and changes with the circumstances and instead that they are consistent, but constantly at odds with each other.

Tl;dr yes I do think Shinya is a priority for Guren, but unlike how Shinya feels for him in return it is in a much more symbolic manner, often more centered around the idea of Shinya and what he means to Guren and why Guren needs him and than about Shinya himself

[foreverisntenough]

there was so much to love about the new chapter! i just live how much y/n and trent’s love has grown. i wish the vows were incorporated but i understand you might want to save for another intimiate moment. you really put your time and effort into it and i loved every second. some parts that stood out to me are.

1. the competition between y/n and trent was hot hot and made their first night so much better

2. teddy 😭 she’s so adorable the way she loves her mom and dad. it’s a reflection of how much love her parents show eachother and her

i feel like trent and y/n going into the new season as husband and wife gives so much more room to see them domestic and see y/n support him. i’m really in my feels after seeing the euros content (especially tolami and saka content) and seeing how trent and y/n already makes me excited for some husband and wife content

thank you for all your effort, this chapter was everything and more

Their love has GROWN imo too!! I kept the vows out of the chapter because it was getting long. I have an idea for what they would say but I'm not sure how I'd want for the reader to see that exchange - any ideas are welcome.

UGH! I love these breakdowns SOMUCH!

The competition was funny in my head. Y/N was over it probably day one and Trent defineltly was like 'no, this is not a fun game I am not quitting' lol

I hope people love Teddy because she is 🥺🥺🥺🥺 to me. She loves Y/N and Trent and I think I write it's that way because that is how she sees them treat each other. I love their family dynamic and how mushy it is.

Y/N and Trent going into the new season married is such a nice thing. I think Y/N will do everything to support Trent but also I think there will be a bit happening towards the end that Trent needs to support Y/N. I'm excited for their married shenanigans as well lol

Thank you for your thank you ❤️ it means so much to me. ‘Ours’ is (and ‘You’re Mine’ ) are such big labors of love so I am happy whenever I hear that someone is enjoying reading my work.

[watermelonwomen]

Absolutely disgusting behaviour from racist english fans. You KNOW these same people would be cheering for Rashford, Saka & Sancho if England had won because the support for black players is purely conditional and losing a damn football game is all it takes to get these vile people to show their true colours.

I hope Marcus Rashford knows just how much he means to England. This man fought to get vulnerable children fed during the pandemic while our own government stood by and did nothing. Truly a national treasure and an inspiration to all. Glad to see more and more love and support for him both online and within local communities.

[fleet-admiral-hiba]

Hello there Mel, I like your headcanons with dearest admiral dads so I have another one to ask you. How would they feel if they have a son (start 20's) traning for becoming a marine and ofcause the son is showing ALOT of potentials. The thing is he is drowning in fangirls, who are going out of their way to see him train. He is cool enough to ignore it for most part, but they have found him hidding just to have some privicy.

Ahahahahaha nice one

ADMIRALS : FANGIRLS ARE THE REAL TROUBLE

サカズキ

He didn't understand the concept of fangirls, but unless they bothered you or those around you, they could do whatever they seemed fit.

Not that they were easily accepted into marine grounds, but they are a crafty bunch. Too crafty for your liking.

For the most part, you were okay with the calm ones, they just sat there, looking at you. But some on them, they were obsessed. They didn't leave you alone a minute whenever you were out of the base or in the training grounds.

If you were out with some recruits, they would stalk and harass you pretty much every minute. It was too much.

So, once, you had enough. They didn't listen to your advices, and so you had to hide, even for five minutes, cause they would not let you take a breath.

It was in this hiding spot of yours that your father found you. He noticed the outstanding number of girls outside looking for you, and he didn't outright asked why you were here. He kind of understood.

He offered you his help to make them go away, in a non lethal way of course. You were a man that took care of his own problems. You just need a minute to even hear your own thoughts.

After all, you were trying to go up the ranks, and even though at 20 you were already on the list to the promotion, you wanted to work hard and make the difference for the people.

Anyway, you found a way to get rid of the annoying fangirls, in the end.

ボルサリーノ

He laughed, a genuine laugh. He knew you had potential, but he didn't expect to see a swarm of young hormonal teenage girls searching for you everywhere.

He had to admit, some of them were even very Polin their request. Others were not. Not that you minded, most of the times. Usually they were quiet enough to let you train in peace

But lately, they started to become unbearable. Always whistling and making lovey eyes whenever you even breathed. It was impossible to even begin to do anything without them shouting.

So the best thing for you to do? Hiding, in a place that you knew they couldn't get you. The closet. Of your father of course.

He found you there one morning, sleeping peacefully. It looked like you ran away from a very pissed off Uncle Saka last night.

When you eventually woke up, he teased you so much you became as red as a tomato. Until you explained that, no it would have been better to run from Uncle Saka, those fangirls of yours were bothering you. And you wanted to study. So you hid there. It made sense at the time.

He offered a solution, and you gladly accepted his help. He had a silver tongue and he could easily talk his way out of most things. Usually

イッショ

Your nervous energy was what bothered him the most. Was there a threat? And maybe, in your eyes there was one indeed.

Still, he did not grasp the concept of people swooning over a marine training and arresting a bunch of people. He did not

You asked him to accompany you to a remote spot where you could practice with your abilities without endangering civilians, and what do you know, 40 minutes later they were there.

It was too much. You could not go nowhere without at least 10 of them looking for you and shouting and something. If it was only the shouting that bothered you.

Someone had the bold idea of trying to touch you, not in a funny or consensual way. This was after the various terms shouted at your persona. From a simple "I Love You" to "I wanna marry you" to " I wanna carry your children". It was obscene to say the least. And you didn't even like girls.

Anyway, as I was saying, this group tried to corner you, just to feel you. If it wasn't for the fact that your father was there, and manage to create a path for you to escape, you probably would have done two things : one, you would have chosen the dog way, and it wasn't pretty, the other would have been to knock them out with your abilities. Either way they would have suffered.

This lead to your current situation. Hid in the ship you and your father boarded to come here. In the armory, you sat there polishing your swords, chilling, the thing that you didn't have time to do in general.

Anyway it was pure coincidence he found you there. He had a feeling you would be there. Anyway he had to ask if it was usually so intense, and you told him your story

Normally they would simply be there, like a silent companion, and that was okay. I mean, not okay cause it was private ground, but unless they made noise, you could ignore them. Then they became bolder and bolder

He offered you some advices, and maybe in the end they were for the best. Otherwise problems would have come out if you chose your own way

[stephspurs]

A Family Affair | Euro 2020 Football Fanfiction

Life is beautiful and life is cruel. A window into the souls of the victorious and the vanquished. In a way, football did come home during the summer of 2021. Follow along Amelia’s journey, navigating the football world as a tactical analyst for the italian football team, with a brother and father part of the three lions. Will Amelia leave Italy and come back to England? Will she leave the Serie A for the Prem? Will she set aside the bianconeri stripes for new colours, leaving behind friendship for love? Maybe she can have both...

EEEEEEK here's part two!!! Part two sees more of Amelia's beautiful brain, the love she has for her team, and her brother, & her friendship with Kyle Walker. Hope you guys love it as much as i do - please let me know what you think - i'd love to hear from you all!

Love always,

Steph xx

UPDATE as of 31/07: I've made some additional editing changes due to some feedback about the confusion between ben white (her brother) and ben chilwell (not her brother LOL). Nothing has been added to the story, just the addition of either surname has been added where i think it could be more straightforward - for future readers!

Part 2. | seconda parte

warnings; none - just a whole lot of feels.

word count; 1469

writing tools; third person until dashed line, first person thereafter.

next update; Wednesday 28/07 5pm AEST. Updates are twice weekly (Sunday & Wednesday)!

Tags (as requested by users); @footballffbarbiex

link to fic masterlist here

11 July 2021 | The Final Match.

The players for both national teams lined up side by side down the tunnel. Chiellini & Kane, both confident in their teams ability, captaining with great authority and mentorship for the ten men stood behind them. Amelia stood at the back of the tunnel, watching the scene ahead of her. Her dad, walking up the centre aisle between the two teams, shaking the hands of his players, confident in his preparation. A gentle hand to her brother's shoulder, saying everything it needs to say. It was the same hand that rubbed the back of her neck as he walked past, communicating the same thing. Go your hardest, you’re ready for this.

It was her turn, she started at the back of the line, and in true Italian style, a kiss was placed to both cheeks of every player up the line. When she reached Jorginho, a player she came to appreciate for his technical mindset and intellectual approach to the game, she kissed his cheek and turned to the player opposite him - her brother, who was trying his hardest to face forward and pay his little sister no mind. She knew what he was doing, but she wasn’t as heartless as the rest of the England squad probably perceived her to be. Reaching out, she rubbed her hand along the back of his neck, just as her father did to her, leaned in and pressed a kiss to his cheek, before continuing down the line of her players to the front. Shaking hands with Gareth Southgate, who no doubt had come to realise who the girl was in relation to his team, and a kiss to both cheeks of Mr Mancini, she walked out and took her place on the bench, ready for the game of her life.

120 minutes of football later.

Life is both beautiful and cruel. Whilst she hadn’t anticipated the early goal from Shaw, Amelia had predicted every play by the english and made sure her team was there waiting for them to turn and run. They knew to never let Harry Kane have the space to move the ball, to make sure Mason Mount was marked at all times and to pay attention to the silky smooth skills of Raheem Sterling. They knew that every player on the english side had the talent and skill to shoot and score, no matter if they're a striker or full back. In the end, the endless taunts from the british crowd and constant reminder of “it’s coming home” only fuelled the Italians further and pushed them harder, to their limits. Eventually both sides met with equal force and completed extra time at a draw, leading to penalties. All of Amelia’s preparation with Gianluigi Donnarumma would present itself now. She went over the preferred sides of the penalty takers she presumed would be stepping up for their country, and reminded him of all he has achieved & what there is still left to be done. After all, they are the masters of their own fate.

Donnarumma’s block of Bukayo Saka’s penalty rattled her bones and sent a chill down her spine. They had done it. The boys had finally brought football back to Rome for the first time since 1968, and while she can’t take all of the credit, she knows she single handedly played a part in this victory. As soon as happiness filled her body, guilt and sadness flooded her heart. She had been part of the problem that caused her brother so much pain. Her dad knew how to handle rejection, this wasn't his first rodeo, and could see with an open mind just how they had managed to achieve greatness. But her brother had truly believed they had it, that football was coming home to England.

After being surrounded by her boys, cheering and hugging her, screaming in relief that they had done it, Amelia took a step back and took a deep breath in. Looking over to the players in white consoling each other with looks of understanding and pats on the back, hugging those with the unfortunate fate of missing their penalties, she found her brother.

_____________________________________________________________

Squatting down with his elbows resting on his knees and hands covering part of his face, his eyes showing disbelief that the moment had escaped them. Jordan Henderson, the figurative big brother to my big brother, leaning down whispering what one can only assume is words of encouragement and strength to him. A voice to my right startles me, not because I wasn't used to the noise, but because it was a voice I haven't heard directed at me with anything other than venom in a very long time.

“He wants you to be there for him, don’t ever think for a second that he doesn’t want you around.” Kyle Walker speaks into the open, whilst looking around at the fans still in the stadium. The fans behind us right now would be watching with speculation, wondering why the english player is talking to an italian so soon after defeat.

“I don’t think he doesn’t want me around, i just don’t think he wants me around right now” I spoke back, trying to reason with myself and Kyle as to why i haven't gone up and offered my condolences to my brother.

“I think the only thing that can pull him out of this is you. He was beating himself up last night after your argument, and while he turned it into motivation for today, it's still weighing on his conscience. He’s happy for you, we aren't that mean so as to deny him the pleasure of being proud of his little sister...even if she is working for the enemy”

“You’ve always been one to be the voice of reason, whilst still being the clown I grew up to know and love”

“Does this mean we’re friends again? I’m sorry about last night” Kyle admitted.

“Last night wasn’t what ended our friendship...we stopped being friends the day you left Spurs.” I joked back to Kyle. I turned to look at his over-expressed shocked face and walked backwards a few steps while giggling, before turning and sauntering over to my brother who was now surrounded by some more teammates. Upon seeing me and noticing my solemn expression, finding comfort in the fact that I wasn't there to rub my win in their faces, the boys left my brother to himself.

I stood there, staring into the eyes of my brother, who after a few minutes reached out and pulled me into him as though I was a life raft and he was stranded in the ocean. We stood there, hugging, saying everything we needed to say through the way we were gripping to the backs of each other's team colours.

“I am so proud of you, you put up one hell of a fight Ben. Certainly made my job harder” I spoke into his shirt. He was the taller of the two, but I wasn't that short. Almost immediately after, I felt him push more weight onto me and sink a bit lower so he was in my neck, shedding a few tears he didn't want seen by those around us. Not even 5 seconds later, he stood up straight, wiping his eyes and offering me a smile.

“God, I wish you weren’t better at your job than I am at mine” he joked back to me. I smiled up at him, shaking my head.

“I would say you’re wrong but the medal that's about to be around my neck would say otherwise” i joke back with him. I was not about to dull my sparkle for someone else's sun to shine, whether he is my brother or not.

“We have to talk about everything that went down last night but i’ll let you enjoy your night with your team” Ben says as we turn and begin to walk toward the stage being set up for the ceremony.

“Thanks Ben, family dinner on Sunday? Tell your friends to come, you and i both know mum will have enough food to feed everyone without even trying”

“Of course, I'll put it in the lads chat & see who’s still around. Kyle will see it in our family chat - who even put him in there anyway!?”

“Honestly...I think it was mum. You know she loves her son, Kyle.”

As I walk back to my team, and into the arms of Fede and Jorginho who wrap me up in an Italian flag and start jumping around, I can't help but smile and laugh at my amazing life. Who knows what the future has to hold, but for tonight, the azzurri are the champions of europe and the trophy is coming home, to Rome.

Part 3. | parte terza

[calacuspr]

This England team has shown us all what the power of sport really means

There have been a few times in recent years where the entire nation has appeared united and optimistic – and almost all of them have been connected to sport.

The World Cup in Italy in 1990, the EURO 96 in England and the London 2012 Olympic Games all come to mind as moments that will endure as epochs that transcend everything else going on in the world.

England has been particularly divided in recent years as the Leave and Remain factions argue; the challenges facing the nation during the COVID-19 pandemic; and the economic struggles that so many have encountered pretty much since the financial collapse a decade ago.

At Calacus, we work with organisations who see the value of sport to positively transform society and the England team has shown that throughout the build-up to EURO 2020 and beyond, they have brought the nation together in a way little else can.

Granted, it helped that England did so well, reaching the final of the tournament. It is hardly a new phenomenon that the squad is so multi-cultural, with players with family heritage from around the world.

While the aftermath of the defeat to Italy has shown the unpalatable side of society, the way in which the England manager and players have conducted themselves has been a masterclass in authentic communications.

STAY TRUE TO YOUR VALUES

Taking the knee has been part of football tradition in England for more than a year now, highlighting inequality and promoting diversity.

The England team have been criticised by many, with the Conservative MP for Ashfield, Lee Anderson, announcing that he would not watch “his beloved England team” while the players took the knee; Home Secretary Priti Patel suggesting that it was nothing more than “gesture politics.” and Prime Minister Boris Johnson refusing to criticise those who booed the team.

Given the racism that the likes of Marcus Rashford, Bukayo Saka, Raheem Sterling and others have suffered, particularly from online trolls, it’s remarkable that politicians sought to condemn them and accuse the team of Marxist tendencies and BLM affiliation rather than a compassionate plea for solidarity and equality over division.

England defender Tyrone Mings said: “Everyone’s entitled to their opinions. The home secretary is one of many, many people who oppose us taking the knee or refuse to defend it . . . we [have tried] to educate and inform the minority who refuse to acknowledge why we take the knee and want to boo it.”

Notably, the boos faded as the EURO 2020 tournament progressed and the team got to the later stages and it speaks volumes that many of those politicians who criticised the team then tried to associate themselves with them through staged photography that fooled no one.

CELEBRATE INCLUSION

This England team are no strangers to speaking up for those who don’t have a voice.

Marcus Rashford has campaigned for an end to child hunger and has twice forced the government to make u-turns over free school meals.

Raheem Sterling, one of the stars of the tournament for England and who has been vilified himself by media and fans alike, has fought hard to call out bigotry in the fight against racism.

EURO 2020 started during Pride month and saw players wear rainbow laces and captains use rainbow armbands, despite some mixed messaging from UEFA.

When England played Germany in the round of 16, captain Harry Kane joined his counterpart Manuel Neuer in wearing a rainbow armband with England's official Twitter account saying: “@HKane will join @DFB_Team 's Manuel Neuer in wearing a rainbow captain’s armband for tomorrow’s game at @wembleystadium to mark the end of Pride month, as the #ThreeLions stand in allyship with LGBTQ+ communities around the world.”

Kane himself explained: “From our point of view, it is a show of solidarity with the German national team from all of us at the England national team to be united in trying to kick out all inequalities there are. We’re on a huge platform on a big stage so it is obviously a great opportunity to do so.”

Jordan Henderson has shown himself to be a captain on and off the field, supporting local charities during lockdown as well as leading his Liverpool team to success over recent years.

He is thought to be one of the main drivers behind the team planning to donate its EURO 2020 prize money to good causes.

Their donation – which could be in the millions – will be made to NHS charities now that the football tournament has concluded.

The team made a statement last May which said: “Following positive discussions with the FA, the England senior men's squad are pleased to confirm that a significant donation from their international match fees will be made to NHS Charities Together via the #PlayersTogether initiative.

“This contribution will be taken from a fund already set aside to support a variety of worthy causes using all match fees collated since September 2018.”

While England supporters still let themselves down by booing national anthems at times during the tournament, it shows the progress that this England team has prompted that Joe White, an England fan who co-chairs Gay Gooners, Arsenal’s LGBT+ supporters group, attended the England v Germany match at Wembley Stadium “in full makeup.”

They wore red lipstick, shimmery eyeshadow and mascara along with a rainbow flag and England flag painted on their face to complete the look.

They tweeted: “This is a really small and personal point but today was my first game at Wembley in full makeup and overtly queer (as opposed to just camp). Absolutely no issues from fans and some lovely chats.

“Despite being absolutely petrified pre game, really proud of our fans”

Henderson responded: “Hi Joe great to hear you enjoyed the game as you should. No one should be afraid to go and support their club or country because football is for everyone no matter what. Thanks for your support, enjoy the rest of the Euros.”

How refreshing that the LGBTQ+ community can now support the national team with no fear of abuse or intimidation and that the Three Lions Pride can display positive banners – understandably celebrating Henderson’s goal against Ukraine.

ENCOURAGE TEAMWORK

England manager Gareth Southgate arguably had one of the most talented England squads in recent memory.

The team’s headquarters at St George’s Park became a centre of fun with photocalls featuring the likes of Bukayo Saka jumping into a pool on a flying unicorn inflatable and Ed Sheeran playing a special concert for the team not to mention a preview showing of Top Gun Maverick and call with its star Tom Cruise.

While early on, there was uproar among fans over players who had been left out of the starting XI or even the squad, with flair giving way to pragmatism, Southgate showed how much the team ethic mattered to him.

After the 4-0 victory over Ukraine, Southgate paid tribute to the members of his squad who had not featured much during the tournament.

He said: “I am thinking about the players who I had to leave out of the 23 because they have been such a massive part of what we’re doing. It is so difficult to keep a group of this size feeling valued and yet those guys have been phenomenal about how they have sacrificed themselves for the group.

"I feel the responsibility keenly. But it is these challenges that make us."

Not once during the tournament did any stories leak of disgruntled players, while the players reflected the afore-mentioned values by resisting well-trodden paths of nationalism that previous encounters with the likes of Germany may have engendered.

In fact, this England team have shown dignity in the face of criticism and the very definition of what it means to be a team – there are no egos, no vested interests.

Where once supporting England meant violence and xenophobia, this England team has inspired a new identity with a commitment to diversity, inclusion and a more tolerant society, which is a credit to them all.

SHOW REAL LEADERSHIP

It was quite telling when, during the celebrations following England’s win over Denmark, former international Gary Neville said: “The standard of the leaders in the past couple of years in this country has been poor but look at that man there... he’s everything a leader should be: respectful, humble, tells the truth, genuine. He’s fantastic, Gareth Southgate.”

Southgate has been humble, engaging, honest and resolute that he knew what he wanted to do and would not waver, even when senior politicians criticised some of the decisions made by him and his management team.

Ahead of the tournament, in an essay on patriotism, titled Dear England, Southgate linked football and national identity and underlined why the game means so much more than just sporting excellence.

“I have a responsibility to the wider community to use my voice, and so do the players. It’s their duty to continue to interact with the public on matters such as equality, inclusivity and racial injustice, while using the power of their voices to help put debates on the table, raise awareness and educate.

“On this island, we have a desire to protect our values and traditions – as we should – but that shouldn’t come at the expense of introspection and progress.”

Southgate has been calm and assured throughout his tenure, ensuring that he and the team are consistent in their focus, messaging and conduct. There have been no scandals, no drama and every press conference or media opportunity has been assured and engaging.

FACE ADVERSITY HEAD-ON

Losing on penalties is part of football, but it’s also something that England have encountered at a number of major tournaments.

The backlash after England’s defeat was brutal, with the three players who missed penalties, Jadon Sancho, Marcus Rashford and Bukayo Saka all targets of racist abuse.

Some MPs also used the defeat as an opportunity to tell players to keep out of politics, such as Andrew Rosindell, who tweeted: “We are all proud of our England team, who have had the support of the whole country over recent weeks, but please focus of football, not politics. If you win for England, you win for everyone!”

Home Secretary Priti Patel expressed her outrage at the racism, prompting Mings to again address her double standards.

He said: “You don’t get to stoke the fire at the beginning of the tournament by labelling our anti-racism message as ‘Gesture Politics’ & then pretend to be disgusted when the very thing we’re campaigning against, happens.”

Soon after the game, the mural in tribute to Rashford was vandalised, prompting hundreds of positive messages and fans voicing their support for the Manchester United forward.

Rashford tweeted: ““I’ve grown into a sport where I expected to read things written about myself. Whether it be the colour of my skin, where I grew up, or, most recently, how I decide to spend my time off the pitch.

“I dreamt of days like this. The messages I’ve received today have been positively overwhelming and seeing the response in Withington had me on the verge of tears. The communities that always wrapped their arms around me continue to hold me up.

“I’m Marcus Rashford, 23-year-old black man from Withington and Wythenshawe, South Manchester. If I have nothing else I have that. For all the kind messages thank you. I’ll be back stronger. We’ll be back stronger.”

CONCLUSION

The England team have shown without doubt the power of sport to unify – and while EURO 2020 is now over, we have the Olympic Games coming up where athletes will come together in the spirit of competition and camaraderie.

As Southgate put it: “The reality is that the result is just a small part of it. When England play, there’s much more at stake than that.

“It’s about how we conduct ourselves on and off the pitch, how we bring people together, how we inspire and unite, how we create memories that last beyond the 90 minutes. That last beyond the summer. That last forever.”

While the positivity has proved to be a brief moment in time, the England squad showed society how to empathise, respect and engage in a way that has been in short supply for so long.

[tomodachimeter]

Answering old asks

m(__)m

That is all.

Emojis aside, I really am so very sorry it’s taken me so long to get around to responding to messages since the manga ended, I’ve been extremely busy in my personal life so it was kind of all I could do to cope with the manga ending during that time too, haha. As of now even the last volume and fanbook are already out, but I’ll leave a few comments on the messages I’ve been sent as they were. I’m also grouping together messages that are more of readers’ own comments rather than questions for me and responding all at once, so please forgive me if I couldn’t get around to responding individually!

“My heart pains to seeing the end ahahhhhh ashiya and abeno parted waysI really really really hope for something to come next. it kinda feels sad for meabt this ending”

“Honestly I like the ending but I didn’t like how the author left out information about abeno’s background. For instance, what happen to his parents?, where did he come from?, how did he come meeting Ao?,etc. I really wanted to see all of that, including how ashiya told his mom and sister about sakaes death. Other then that, I REALLY LOVE THE PROPOSAL!!! What is with shouen manga/anime with these different type of propsals like, “I’ll skate infinity with you”, “ I will die so you won’t be alone”,etc. Like COME ON!!! I also want to see a adult ashiya and abeno 🙏.”

I feel the same, I love the ending in its own way but I also expected so much more and I wanted to see more of their adventures. So I respect sensei’s decision but that just means it’s a free-for-all in terms of headcanons after!!

“Now that the manga has ended, I really wish the anime hadn't screwed up with the season 2 ending, so we could have gotten a continuation... I really miss animated Fuzzy running around, Ashiya's screaming and Abeno's "Hah?" (´꒳`)♡”

I wonder what they’d do for a season 3 if it ever came to pass. There are a few ways they could go about it like kind of just continuing down the manga, or they could ignore what they animated at the end of s2 and then keep going (Ao no Exorcist style), or I don’t even know, honestly. No matter how dissatisfied I am with how they do anime, I’d still watch it though. :U

“Wow I can't believe it took me so long to realize this! Recently, I noticed that the dynamic between Hanae-Sakae-Aoi-Abeno and the plot revolving around them is very similar to what happens in the manga Switch (Kai-his dad-Hal's dad-Hal). The relationship between Kai and Hal is similar to Hanae and Abeno's. Kai's dad died and this is related to Hal's dad, who has survived thanks to the death of his friend (Kai's dad). Plus Kai manifests what seems to be his dad's personality when he's in danger.”

“So much tears! I really don't want this to end, but I knew it was too good to be true. Though, the way the way the manga ended felt like a new beginning. Hanae made a promise/vow to Itsuki that he will return, no matter how long it takes, so he hopes Itsuki will wait for him. Also, that picture of Sakae and Aoi on the counter makes me hope that Hanae and his family (plus Sakae in heaven) has peace now. I felt like crying more. Thank you for everything and I hope to see you again!”

“ok rip Abeno's past... rip yellow eyes... rip this cliffhanger ending...“

“Suddenly I see that anon ask about OPs and EDs and partings & separations in a new light... darn. (╯°Д °)╯╧╧”

Fittingly enough, Sensei mentioned in the fanbook that Mononokean has always been a story about meetings and partings too, but still...! More...!!!

“I think this ending is very fitting. Ashiya was never truly part of the youkai world, he was always taking one step in only to step out soon after, and going back and forth between loving youkai and being afraid of them. Ashiya's state of employment has always had a "temporary" feeling to it, including, for example, the fact that he never changed his clothes, and his Mononokean-crest clothes were "borrowed". UItimately, Ashiya didn't seem like he could dedicate his life to youkai, unlike Abeno. (continuing from my previous ask about "Ashiya not being part of the youkai world") It wasn't only Ashiya's feelings on the matter that kept him away from the world of youkai. Abeno contributed greatly to this, as he constantly tried to keep Ashiya away from the Underworld, from danger, from knowing too much, and from youkai themselves, even though Ashiya was technically his employee. If Abeno had tried, even a little, to pull Ashiya into his world, Ashiya would have responded to him, I'm sure. (another "Ashiya not being part of the youkai world" ask) The fact Abeno actively blocked Ashiya from his world was the greatest reason why Ashiya didn't feel like he belonged there. But he still felt connected to Abeno, at least. Rather than dedicate his life to youkai, Ashiya seemed like he might dedicate it to Abeno. Yet this feeling was also met with a wall. By the time Abeno realized how precious it was, having someone who saw the same things as him by his side, it was already too late. (last ask in the series "Ashiya not being part of the youkai world") Ironically, the Mononokean and most other youkai were more open and willing to welcome Ashiya into their world. Still, if and when Ashiya can see youkai again, I hope Abeno will have realized the opportunity he'd wasted. When these two reunite, I hope Abeno won't push Ashiya away again. That's all. I wanted to share these thoughts with you. Please let me know your opinion on the matter. Thank you for reading! :)”

I think you’re right on point with the themes you’ve pointed out and I believe that’s what Sensei was going for too, but it doesn’t change the fact that it’s terribly lonely for them to be separated from each other. ___(:3 At least we’re left with a (high) possibility of them getting back together (heh) and even moreso with the fanbook extra content too, so here’s to their continued adventures.

“I am not sure if you are familiar with this anime/manga/light novel series “No. 6” because the end of the Mononokean manga series appears similar to the end of the former in terms of the bond between the two male leads if you get what I mean.”

I know of it and it’s something I’ve always meant to get around to watching, but I have not seen it yet!

“Nooo, I can't believe it's over! 😭 But you know, ever since FNM's ending was announced, I've been looking for something to fill the void this precious story would inevitably leave in my heart, and then someone said "Watch Natsume Yuujinchou, the themes are similar and it's heartwarming". So I started it and, oh boy, I've been screaming at every episode because I'm not used to people openly showing their affection! 😂 So much hugging, hand-holding, head-patting... I'm melting!! (send help pls)”

“Hello Spring! We've reached the end of this wonderful journey, it seems. It's time for a new start. Thank you so much for everything you've done for this fandom, it wouldn't have been the same without you! Seriously, thank you, from the bottom of my heart! 😌 (PS: I forgot to mention, I opened this blog on my old old laptop, with its 1280x720 resolution, and the "ON YOUR OWN, BUT NOT ALONE" strip was right there covering Ashiya's and Abeno's faces, I had such a good laugh! I'm sorry I laughed!!)”

“This ending was really beautiful and yet sad. The promise made me hope but.. it's still so angst that maybe it will take years to hanae be able to see yokais again. I wonder if wazawa-sensei is okay, like, usually when a manga is ending they advertise previously, but the news was so suddenly that made me worry about sensei's health status. I also don't think that the publisher canceled the manga. So, I still don't know if this sudden ending was planned or not.”

Haha when I first made that tumblr theme, I kind of liked the effect that the strip had in covering Ashiya and Abeno’s faces somehow, but it always moves around depending on resolution lol.

In the afterword of the last volume and the fanbook, Sensei touched lightly on their various reasons for ending the manga (which I plan to cover eventually... when I have time...) and while I don’t think we’ll ever know fully, I got the impression that sensei personally seems in good health and even expressed that they would like to make another manga in the future, so as readers and fans we don’t need to worry too much.

“The manga ended well but we are left with unanswered questions : What is Abeno's past ? / Are golden eyes and hair special ? / What about Aoi's face ? / What really happened the day Aoi came back injured ? At this time she wasn't infected but Sakae died trying to save her (something is wrong with the plot) ?! / What about Fuzzy gender and his "human form" ?”

I will just say we got answers to some of those questions in the fanbook, and some we did not. :Y Please hold on for fanbook info!

Hey there. I’ve just read through the last chapter of the Mononokean. What a story. There are still a few questions that left me wondering: (1) What is the origin of the Mononokean itself?, (2) What is the origin of the Influence that flows within specific characters of the story?, (3) If Aoi was able to provide young Ashiya with a part of Sakae’s “Influence,” could it be done again?, & (4) If Ashiya could still see Fuzzy, what do you think this means for his potential abilities?

1. We were told in the first fanbook that the Mononokean was originally a well-loved tea ceremony room, and as we know in the Mononokean universe (also generally a concept in Japanese culture/religion, you can looked up the term “tsukumogami”), things that are used/loved sometimes end up gaining a sentience of their own, and if I remember right that’s how the Mononokean came to be too. (it’s been a while since I’ve reread the first fanbook so if I’m wrong please do correct me). As for any other specifics, we only know that Aoi and Abeno have been the first and second masters respectively, I’m pretty sure.

2. This was answered in the fanbook, which I’d like to summarize eventually! But Influence seems to be a natural power that develops in babies who have been in close contact with yokai before they were born, and golden hair and eyes are also a sign of that.

3. The partial Sakae Influence (lol wording) that Aoi gave to Ashiya as a baby was what Ashiya returned to Aoi to save them. I suppose since they’ve already done it before it’s technically possible, but that’d defeat the whole purpose of what they tried to do already haha.

4. I think it’s as Abeno theorizes, that Ashiya always did have a bit of ability to sense yokai on his own as well!

“I was looking for more FnM content and found out about your fanfictions on Ao3, so I read them all and oh my Lord! They were *so* good!! And I was very surprised and very glad to find out you ship Ashiya x Abeno, I'm especially happy because you ship them in that order, since I was so sure everybody would be shipping them in reverse order! Thank you so much for sharing your works!! (≧▽≦) ♡”

Thank you for your kind comments, I’m always so happy to hear someone loves my fic! I do love writing them even though I haven’t done it for a while and I have so many ideas and WIPs that I’ve still never gotten around to completely, but I swear I will do them someday... While I do think the reverse order is more popular in general, there’s a decent AshiItsu (the Japanese term for the ship haha) fandom thriving on Twitter!

Again thank you so much everyone! Look forward to fanbook info I’d like to get around to posting about soon!

[tired0artist]

sing to me (part three)

<<part one>> <<part two>>

paring: female!V x Johnny Silverhand

summary: a street kid V falls in love with SAMURAI music and idolises Johnny Silverhand. years later she finally understands the saying “never meet your idols”

warnings: angst and fluff, Johnny being a dick as always, arguments, V plays the guitar, MORE JOHNNY AND V ACTION IN THIS ONE!!!, references to death, more/different warnings in the future parts

note: I’m describing my V, but you can imagine her however you want tho

•SAMURAI fan V (street kid)•

She was tugging on her hair, groaning in pain as she stumbled out of the elevator.

“Ughh..! Fuck!”

“The hell’s that?” Johnny questioned, looking both shocked and a bit panicked “No, no, dammit!”

V sat down on some box and focused on breathing, her chest and head feeling on fire. She saw him pace around and asked.

“Jesus.. the fuck do you want from me?”

Johnny’s head snapped to her and he stormed over, making her flinch in fear. But instead of attacking her, he grabbed a stool and sat down, saying.

“It’s all going too slow. Gonna decomish before we learn how to rip the chip out”

V glared at him “Wanted me dead. You don’t care if I die”

Johnny calmed down a bit, took off his glasses and looked at her. His nearly black eyes, soft and truthful.

“Made it pretty clear since, that I changed my mind. Want you to live now”

She was taken a bit back by the sincerity that she picked up from his tone.

“What do you want, Johnny?” she asked more calmly, calling him by his name for the first time.

He lit up a cigarette and said “I got a get-outta-jail-free card. I’d be a fucking fool not to take advantage. See me and Arasaka, we got a half-century-old score needs settling, and I plan to do it” he turned towards her adding “That’s. What I need you for, kid”

“So you just... want to use me? Great. Fucking fantastic, Silverhand. Listen I hate the corpos and Arasaka too. But I am still sane enough to know that it’s a lost fight”

He rolled his eyes “I didn’t ask for your opinion, kid. I just need you to take me from point A to point B”

“Fuck you. I’m not a Delamain!”

“Listen I know things. Where we can save your life, who can help us do that. You’ll get rid of the chip, I’ll smash Saka. It’s a win-win kid. Soul killer is what we need and Mikoshi’s how we grab it”

V sighed heavily and tugged on her hair in frustration “What’s this Mikoshi?”

“Okay, basics. If you’re jacked in, cruising the Net. Arasaka can use Soulkiller, an AI, to trap, fry and pack away your psyche, your mind and your soul. Following so far?”

“Yeah... that’s how you died. I saw it”

Johnny didn’t look pleased, as he said “Okay... seems we got a few more things to broach that I thought, but that will come later”

He continued on explaining the importance of Mikoshi and how it works. V nodded along, he had some points. Mikoshi definitely was a place that they needed to go to.

“—so you’re going to live and I’ll destroy Arasaka. As I said. Win-win, kid”

“No” she said, surprising him “We need to explore some options, find allies, find resources and then. And only, then we will attack Arasaka and get to Mikoshi. Not sooner or later”

With that she got up and stumbled away, subconsciously feeling Johnny follow her.

“Kid, we need to work fast! You don’t have time! You’re already falling apart!”

“I don’t have any other choice but to live through it. We need more time, we can’t go into all of this with a hot head”

Johnny sighed “You don’t get it—“

V spun around and pointed at him “No, you’re the one who doesn’t get it. You went into Arasaka, full of rage and devoid of reason. And see where it got you?”

He glared at her and clenched his fists. She nearly flinched in fear of him attacking her once again, but she stood her ground.

After glaring at each other for some time, V let out a cough, groaning in pain. Johnny sighed and grabbed her, leading her to a bench outside.

“Rest up, kid. You won’t do much, being dead”

V sat down, feeling a bit surprised to see Johnny sit down beside her. She coughed into her hand and saw a bit of blood there, V stared at her shaking hand. The proof was there.

She was really going to die.

“You’re not. I’m not letting you, kid. We’ll work something out” Johnny said from beside her, his arms crossed as he stared at the people passing by “Call, that braindance chick. You promised that you would”

V nodded and shook her head, trying to get rid of the blue glitches she saw. She then looked back at Johnny and noticed that he left. Bitting her lip she did as he said, called Judy.

After the call, she went back to her apartment for the night. Taking her guitar she played “Never fade away” singing softly.

Her take on the song was more heavy and calm. Each word consumed by the emotional state she was in.

“We’ll never fade away...” she whispered, ending the song, somewhat abruptly. Not because she forgot the lyrics.

But because her thoughts lingered on Johnny and what happened today.

He was still a dick and managed to annoy her to no end. But then again, he really seemed like he didn’t mean her any harm. Also as much as she didn’t want to admit it, he was being useful and had a lot of info on Arasaka.

V let out a deep sigh and started playing again, thinking.

Maybe I can try and trust him.

Few days later V was walking down the dirty corridor. The place was abandoned, but still she had her guard up. As she neared the door, Johnny appeared.

“Knock four times kid, or the dog will bite”

She sighed and did as he said.

After that things escalated quickly. One minute V was talking to Hanako and another she was falling through the floor.

V let out a groan, her body hurting as black spots danced in front of her vision.

“Get your ass up, samurai! We need to delta!”

She groaned and looked at Johnny, who was looking between her and the corridor where the soldiers were coming.

“—Takemura...” she whispered, worried for the man.

Johnny quickly grabbed her by the shoulders “He’s dead, but you’re not. So get up and get out of here”

V nodded and with his help got on her feet, reloading his gun she got to work.

Halfway through the complex she met and saved Takemura, thankfully Johnny didn’t comment on it. The rockerboy went into full soldier mode as he navigated her through the corridors and warning about possible dangers.

As she and Takemura exited the building, she fell on her knees. The relic and injuries catching up with her.

“V?!” yelled Johnny, kneeling next to her.

“We need to split up! I’ll contact you once it’s safe!” said Takemura, soon disappearing in the crowd.

It pissed Johnny off as he yelled on top of his lungs “FUCKING DOG! HELP HER!”

“Johnny... we need... need to go. I-I’ll be fine...” V said, getting on her feet and quickly stealing a car that was parked not far.

The rockerboy stayed visible all the time, his metal hand heavy on her thigh. He was talking to her the whole time, trying to distract her.

V soon hid inside of a old and nasty motel. There she sat on the bed with a gun pointed at the door as Johnny watched what was going on outside the window.

Not long after their arrival a proxy working for Hanako. V talked to her, agreeing to met her at Embers.

She waited for the proxy to drive away, to leave the room. Her whole world still swaying and glitching.

Johnny stayed visible, as he leaned against a pillar. His face showing that he disapproved.

“What Johnny...? Got some words about the... porcelain cunt?”

The rockerboy only shook his head just as V started coughing up blood.

“Fuck..! Not now!” she yelled, stumbling away trying to get into her stolen car.

“V wait! Shit! Get ready!” Johnny yelled after her.

She almost made it to the door when she completely fell on the ground. Johnny rolled her on her back and watched as she had something that looked like a seizure.

“—Johnny! I’m dying—ughhhh!!!“ she screamed, tears running down her cheeks.

Johnny grabbed her hands, looking at her with worry “No, no, no kid! You ain’t dying yet! I got you”

That’s when V’s whole world went black.

Next time she woke up on the ground, pills in her hand, her body weak and in pain.

“J-Johnny?” she asked, weakly trying to find him.

“That smell, is the sea breeze” he said looking down at her with a soft smile “Get up, Pacific’s beautiful this time of day”

V got up and leaned next to him, watching the sea.

“I almost flatlined yesterday...”

“Almost” Johnny quickly said, harshly as if to force the word on her.

V ignored it for now as she stared at the sea “It’s beautiful... I could wake up to such view everyday”

“Me too” said Johnny as he glanced at her from behind his glasses, unsure himself which view he was talking about.

V closed her eyes as the wind ruffled her already fucked up hairstyle. The air was clearer than in the city. Very... light and a bit colder too.

As she opened her green eyes she looked around asking “Pacifica? What’s this building?”

“Old hotel - the Pistis Sophia. We’re her sole guests right now. Wanted to show you something, come on” Johnny said, while slowly walking away.

V followed him, still feeling a bit disoriented.

“You took over” she stated, leaning against the wall while walking.

“What was I supposed to do? Leave you there? It’s not like I could carry you somewhere...” he said, his fists clenched as he looked annoyed at something.

Feeling a bit bad for calling him out, she simply nodded, saying “Thank you”

He looked at her and he visibly relaxed saying “What are imaginary friends for?”

V moved to follow him again, only to fall on the ground.

“Careful!” Johnny said, glitching to her side.

“I think that I’m going to die soon...” she said.

“Bullshit. We still have time” he denied, holding her elbow.

She smiled at him sadly and said “Okay... show me why we’re here”

Johnny led her to a room, watching as she weakly crawled over the broken window.

“There’s a hidey-hole where I’m standing. Open it. Empty it” he instructed as V got to her feet.

She did as he asked and took the dog tags that were there, sitting on the ground she turned to look at Johnny in question.

“Yours?” she asked him.

“They were. Belong to you now”

V was confused as she stared at her metal in her hand “Fifty years back... Mexican conflict?”

Johnny nodded slightly “When I was a young and stupid kid like you. I enlisted with a corp army. Was in Mexico when I realised that no matter the conflict, corps always win. Ordinary people always lose”

She nodded, seeing the truth in his words. All the corpo fucks got rich because of the wars, that they started. That got good people killed.

“Why are you giving them to me?”

Johnny shifted in his seat “Imagine we’re deployed together, fighting in a war side by side. Would you take a bullet for me?”

V’s eyes got wide, but with little hesitation she whispered “Yes. I would”

He smiled at her, shoulders relaxing as he said “Tags belonged to a man who sacrificed his life for mine in Mexico. Been thinking about our... predicament. Wanna be clear. I will do you no wrong. When the time comes, it’ll be my life for yours. I’ll agree to get wiped. Tags are proof of my promise”

She stared at him, the man that she was afraid of for a long time. Idolised once. And saw nothing but honesty.

V bit her lip and whispered “I would do the same for you Johnny. And... if it will be possible... I would like to try and save you too”

“That’s real cute kid, but impossible. Still, I appreciate the sentiment” he said with a smile “Now I got a request. Whatever happens to me. I want Smasher gone and for Rogue to be there when it happens”

“Okay. Done, but you sure Rogue will bother with it?” V asked getting up and walking over to the exit, along with Johnny.

“She will. I’ll ask her personally, besides you’ll need back up”

“Personally? What do you mean by that?” she asked.

Johnny crossed his arms “You’ll drop one of Misty’s pills and I’ll go talk to Rogue. Convince her to help us out. I promise”

V bit her lip, finally nodding “Alright. I trust you”

“Thanks, kid. Now let’s go home and in the evening we’ll go to the Afterlife” he said, disappearing.

She sighed heavily and got through the window, heading back to her apartment. The dog tags clutched in her hand.

•english isn’t my first language so sorry for any errors.

•you wanna be tagged in the next parts? leave a comment!

•thanks for reading! hope you like it. I will be going through some parts of the main story and beyond. I’m planning it to be a bit longer so if you want something longer than 5/6 parts, this is for you

•tag list: @signwriting @missweatherwax @axshadows

[alysswrites]

305: an old letter

Grudges

"Strange how we found ourselves exactly where we left off." -Grudges (After Laughter Album - Paramore)

I knew you saw this coming.

Guys, kamran & joan. My best childhood friends - soon to be my old. Who knows me best, who knows me worst.

You guys are really good at three things: One is you're good at blocking my social media accounts because you're too scared to face the truth that we have issues to face. Two, is you're good at shutting my feelings down. All you see is that you guys are the victims. Little did you know, you guys are also the murderer of our friendship. And three, you're not just good at breaking my heart, you're also too good at killing my soul to the point where you guys are turning into someone you said you'll never be.

Kamran, I am deeply sorry for what I've done, to you and to our friendship. I'm sorry for not appreciating you much. I'm really sorry. I was reading our conversation from day 1. And I was laughing so hard, crying my heart out, and was so kilig on you. You stayed from the day when I was still in love with him, til the day when he was gone. You stayed. And for that, you are one of the greatest man I have ever known. You were there, even though I 'was' insanely in love with him. You were there to listen to my tears til 2am. I'm sorry for saying that I am not home when you were inviting me to go outside and eat kwek kwek. :-( I never appreciate that, and i keep on hating myself til' now. :-( I was blinded by love that was not even worth it. Thank you for appreciating my weirdness and jokes. It was so nice of you. I was reading our conversation and I saw something, you were asking 'paano kung nabasa mo yung text ko?' and then I replied, 'edi nabasa. Hahaha.' I'm sorry for being insensitive when it comes to your feelings. I'm sorry, I never thought you were 'that' too. It took you so long to say that you were, too. And things are not the same. It's too late nung nalaman kong ganun ka din. And my feelings were gone. :-( 'Maybe' it could've been worth it. And 'maybe', I would never be in this kind of situation. We lost our communication for a reason. And for that, I am thankful for the lessons, aches, and tears. I'm sorry for being bad. I'm sorry for hurting you. I'm sorry for saying no everytime you asked me out. I should've said yes atleast once right? 'Maybe' things could go better. I'm sorry for not treating you right. I'm sorry for the hurtful words. Sorry for all this "drama." I'm still wondering why can't I keep both sides. I'm still finding the answer. And I think, I will keep finding it. Kasi I believe strong friendship doesn't include any conditions. On behalf of Phoenix Ralph, we are deeply sorry..for everything. You're not just a boy who's my friend's cousin, you're a man with a good heart. No words can explain how thankful and grateful I am. Thank God, I met you once.

Joan, I don't know how to start with you. I can't blame you for demanding my time for you. Maybe you just missed me. And I miss you too until now. And I'm so heartless for not seeing it. :-( I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry for turning you like that. I'm sorry. But I know, the old you is still there. Deep down your heart, I can still see your kindness, softness, and love. I miss our deep talks from dreams to reality. I miss hugging you from your back. I miss our kwentuhans. I'm sorry for making you feel that way. I'm sorry kung nafeel mong pinamigay lang kita. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. And yes, tao ka, nasasaktan. Pero tao din ako, nagkakamali. I might not save your feelings before, but maybe now, I can. I can save you by us being apart. Mamimiss kita. Mamimiss ko lahat ng kulitan natin. Things have change, but memories will always be the same. I will keep them and maybe one day, it will be a good stories to share. I wish we could turn back time where we are still innocent and all we do is play pilik mata kila owa o kaya play cards kila isang. Kala ko tayo yung tatagal na magkakaibigan sa street natin. :-( Kala ko hanggang dulo tayo eh. Sorry kung umabot sa ganito. Sorry, nainlove lang ako. They keep telling me na I should not be sorry for falling in love, but I feel this way. I'm sorry kung hindi kita na-appreciate. Kasi akala ko kahit we never talked and bond before we will still have our invisible strings that connects our heart kahit anong mangyari. Little did I know, wala na pala. Akala ko anjan ka pa lagi. Pero things have changed. And wala na kong magagawa dun. Kasi kahit ipilit ko pa, wala na rin. Mahirap na. Sobra. And masasaktan lang natin isa't isa. I know sisters do fight, but never ever be apart. I dont know what happened. :-( I don't know how to heal your wounded heart. But maybe, us being apart will help. Right? Mamimiss kita. Wala eh, ganun talaga. Nagkasakitan na tayo. I'm sorry if I wasnt there at your darkest. I'm sorry for letting you down. I'm sorry, your savior doesn't look a thing like me. Your wasting your faith on me. :-( kasi wala akong kwenta. On behalf of Phoenix Ralph, we are deeply sorry. We didn't mean to. Napaka insensitive namin. I hope Kamran will take care of you. I know he will guard your heart like he always do. He has a good heart and an intelligent mind. Never lose him. You got the "best" friend and it's limited edition. Take care of yourself, and of him. Joan, I will still be your ineng who's good in tamaan tao but never good in agawan base. I will always be your ineng who loves to hide in bangsak but never the taya. I will always be your ineng. Always be. Even after this. Even we are no longer friends. :-( Joan, remember this, I'm sorry for not showing my love for you. But believe me, I love you. Always do and always will. Before ko pa ichat si kamran, lagi kitang kinakamusta kay Jean. Believe me. You are one of the greatest gift, lesson, and sister I ever had. And for that, even though we will be apart, I'm still thankful because I met the most amazing girl once.

I'm sorry if I have to lose you guys just to see things much clearer. Sorry kung kailangan pang umabot sa ganito para mas malinawan ako. I have no regrets meeting him. I'm glad that he's still a part of my life. I have no regrets falling in love with him. Hindi naging kami. We are in good terms. I swear my name. Ang tagal ko lang talagang makaget over sa kanya. And hindi kami nag uusap like before. I'm sorry kung umabot sa ganto. I just know him well. I know what he's capable of. It took my heart so long to heal. I'm too much to handle, and yes, konti lang talaga yung nagsstay. And I can't blame you guys for leaving me. I mean, I was the one pushed you away. I'm sorry. Along the healing process, I am the one who ruined our friendship. I will take the blame. And I will be okay. My tears will dry soon. I can handle myself without anyone. Kahit naman kasi ikwento ko kahit kanino, they wouldn't get it. Tayo tayo lang kasi makakaintindi ng mga pinagdaanan natin. :-( Kahit naman kasi ipilit ko, things will never be the same as before. :-( saka tama na rin to diba? Still can't believe na umabot ako na magmakaawa sa inyo para tanggapin niyo ko..ulit. Wag na lang. Kasi it will make things go worst lang. I swear. I can picture it. We can always start again but we can never continue the broken friendship.

What i do regret is that I have to lose both you. It will always break my heart over and over again. I guess, we cannot heal in the same environment that we got wounded in. You guys will always be a part of my life, always.

I hope the pain I've caused will remind your hearts can heal. As the Paramore said, "And I, I hate to see your heart break,I hate to see your eyes, get darker as they close, But I’ve been there before."

And yes, tanggap ko na. -- So hanggang dito na lang? Still cant believe I'm losing an amazing people. :--( But people come and go right? People change. That's life, it sucks and is cruel.

Thankyou so much..sa lahat. And I'm deeply, sincerely, truthfully, sorry.

"Why we had to waste so much time. Well, we just pick up, pick up and start again. 'Cause we can't keep holding on to grudges." -Grudges (After Laughter Album - Paramore)

Book '18 Chapter 4 Page

Not yet finish.

Friendships are fragile things and require as much care in handling as any other fragile and precious thing.

1:34 am 082121

[mc-doppomine]

So we know Matenrou has like...a religious theme in terms of the members’ naming. And in some ways it’s just a way to be able to recognize the members as belonging together if you see their names (such as Mad Trigger Crew all having characters for animals in their names and the birth order of Buster Bros). But you know me, here to overthink this whole thing. (Also please, I am only working with sources I can find in relation to the deities, I’m not an expert in anything mythology or history related)

I find it interesting how Jakurai’s surname is the only one that is not spelled like a deity. Instead his is a temple or shrine. A resting place for the gods. Which he is generally seen as the one that provides reprieve to Hifumi and Doppo, the ‘gods’ that rest at his shrine. And in exchange receives the ‘blessings’ or protection from the gods. I feel MTC vs MTR manga best depicted of those two basically shielding Jakurai and most of their efforts are protecting him while attacking. There’s also a bit of reversal of the imagery since Jakurai is usually depicted and seen as the ‘god’--since they usually use saint when talking about him--and that his teammates receive blessing from him. 

Also a bit of a side note since his given name also could be over thought into this. Thunder is generally the warning you have for lightning. Which in many mythologies and religions is seen as the wrath of the gods. So like he’s the warning to his enemies of the coming of the pain that his team is gonna lay on you. 

Hifumi’s unfortunately doesn’t have much in the way of myth. I mean Izanami is after creation goddess but like most stories surround how she created Japan with her husband and the fallout from when she died. But there’s not nothing. Namely how the goddess’ name translates to ‘she who invites’ which fits Hifumi as being the most open of Matenrou and likely the driving force for many of the excursions that happen. And in terms of the mythology, it initially does seem like anything related to him but I found interesting was Izanagi--Izanami’s husband--coming down to the land of dead to retrieve her. But when he saw her, he fled. Despite it indirectly his fault that she is there--she died from childbirth with his kid--he ran and he trapped her in the land of the dead. Which is where I find the most relating to Hifumi.

Like I’d assume being the spouse being someone you trusted, Izanagi betrayed Izanami but not waiting to see her as she asked. Then abandoned her. We still have no idea what happened and not like we need to but I had seen it as Honobono having been someone Hifumi trusted. And she betrayed him and hurt him in some capacity. Only to proceed to leave him trapped with all the fear and darkness that she caused. And--at first--seems like he will never leave it. Izanagi blocked the way to Yomi, the land of the dead, leaving Izanami in the land of the dead which seems to described as dark and being of and surrounded by kegare. From what I have looked up and understand, kegare is ‘filth’ that often comes from contact with ‘death’ (menstruation, childbirth, sickness and rape are all under this including actual death).

It is considered ‘not good’ but how it comes about just is something that happens. But it is something that can affect not only the person afflicted but also those around them. It isn’t said but I would think since she’s surrounded by it that Izanami might not fully be affected by the kegare, I assume, she is now a source of since she’s...well, dead. Which I think fits with how Hifumi tends to cause trouble and how very rarely it directly harms him but certainly hurts those around him. But another reversal of the whole name convention, Hifumi is very well loved by those around him and endlessly approached, unlike the goddess (I’m sure she’s respected but I....I have no idea if you call that ‘love’ of her). 

Lastly and hopefully shorter but may or not be, is Doppo’s. His surname is partially named for the Kannon, generally named as the goddess of mercy or goddess of compassion. It’s generally ‘goddess’ but I’ve seen that the deity takes forms ranging from any to no gender so yeah. But I also noticed her name, or rather the name Kannon was translated from, Guanshiyin, translating to ‘the one that perceives the sounds of the world.’ Which I find fitting because I feel like that is basically all of Tirgridia, it is like Doppo’s observations of ‘sounds’ of the town of which he lives and hearing/sensing the lack of vibrance of those around him. Also in general, I see Doppo as sensitive to the temperament of those around him.

I did not find a lot of specific tales about the forms of this deity named as Kannon but there is a pretty big legend that involves her, the Journey to the West. As Guanyin (There are so many names for this goddess, y’all. There’s so many), she is a goddess that quite regularly gets asked for help in the adventures. Like, to me, it’s a kind of frustrating job (even if I doubt she would ever think that) to work hard for these guys that manage to get themselves into trouble so often. Kind of sounds like Doppo at his soul-sucking job and taking on helping people that are or act helpless. But moving on Kannon is this being of mercy and compassion, she hears the prayers for her help and promises to help and liberate. Dependent on what capacity she is worshipped at, she is a figure of unconditional love or a being that shows a great deal of compassion. Both of these things I feel fit Doppo even if he is not very good how he goes about it.

And an interesting distinction to make that she is actually a bodhisattva, which from what I get is a being that is near nirvana but because of a wish or love of other beings delays reaching it. Which is...gonna be a quick detour to dark for a second. (cw for suicide) which I feel like is something that Doppo also mirrors. Mainly in that I believe he is suicidal and has ideations about it. However despite his remarks of just wanting to sleep or die, he never goes through with it. Not even for himself but because he loves other people, namely his teammates, too much to ever leave them to attain peace for himself. 

(cw over)

Oh and for his reversal of theme of his deity, Kannon is actually one of the more popular and loved deities. Whereas Doppo is the most unknown and implied not liked or understood of all of Matenrou. 

And now that I finally, finally reach the end of the individuals....which believe me, I thought this was only going to be like three paragraphs became longer because of looking up stuff and finding more connections. I’m just doing some rapidfire observations. Not necessarily linking to them but but just interesting thoughts when looking stuff up:

Izanami had sent gods of thunder to chase after her husband when he fled from her. Again bringing that thunder and lightning are wrath of gods,

A lot of versions of Kannon in Japan specifically relate her to childbirth or children. Childbirth is what killed Izanami

There was a believed incarnation of Guanyin named Miaoshan, who told her father she would only marry someone that could ease the suffering of old age, sickness and death. Her father didn’t believe there was someone that could do this. He asked her what marriage could achieve that. She said a doctor could ease that kind of suffering. 

The entrance to Yomi is referred to as Yomotsuhirasaka and is where Izanagi closed it with a boulder. It contains the same final character of Doppo’s surname saka/zaka. 

[elliepassmore]

A War of Swallowed Stars review

5/5 stars Recommended for people who like: multiple POVs, sci-fi, space operas, morally gray characters, mythology, LGBTQ+ characters, trilogies Note: there will be spoilers for previous Celestial Trilogy books in this review.

A Spark of White Fire review

A House of Rage and Sorrow review

Steel and Flowers review

TW: ableism I was so nervous coming into this one because 1) we still hadn't seen all of the curses come to fruition yet, and 2) I was expecting at least one character to die in the book. While both of these were valid things to be nervous about, I'm actually pleased with how both played out and Mandanna even managed to surprise me with 1) (okay, and admittedly in some areas of 2) as well). I feel in some ways this book was darker than the other two, which is saying something because House, especially at the end, was pretty dark. However, in this one our favorite cast of characters is facing problems from multiple sources, not least of which include Alexi and Sorsha. On top of that, Esmae, Amba, and Titania have to deal with the shit that went down at the end of House, so the three of them in particular are in some rough spaces in the book. This is a bit of a tangent, but the 'bowstring thumb' thing confused me a lot until I got about 1/2-2/3 way through the book. I've done archery before, but I've only learned Western techniques and so am not super familiar with the way other cultures do it. I assumed Esmae and co. were knocking their arrows using their index and middle fingers and drawing using those (or those + ring finger)...which would mean the thumb plays no part in knocking, drawing, or shooting. It wasn't until someone showed Esmae how to shoot the way I described above where it clicked that they were using a totally different method (and then I looked up traditional Indian archery techniques and.....uh.....yeah, you need a thumb for that). I was glad that got an additional explanation in this book, though, because I think I might've remained lost (or eventually remembered the internet exists and looked it up). Esmae and Alexi got to talk a bit more in this one than they did in the last one, which I think was good, though admittedly it could've been better. Esmae really gets a chance to let loose on some of the things she thinks about him, particularly his desire to be seen as the 'golden boy' as well as his seeming inability to contradict/think outside of their mother. Frankly, she's right and I don't think Alexi ever really gets it (which is kind of funny considering both Leila Saka and Kyra said something similar to him). I thought their dynamic was interesting in this one and it kind of came full-circle in a way. Esmae still wants Alexi destroyed, but she also still wants peace (or at least doesn't want Kali and its people hurt/destroyed), whereas Alexi still isn't willing to settle for a compr0mise. I will say, this might be one of the few books where I think the author actually could've written more and the book would not have suffered. The way things are resolved in the end re: the crown, Kali, and Esmae and Alexi could have, I think, used a bit more page time to explore. There is an epilogue-esque kind of ending that takes place months later, but it doesn't really focus on those things and I do wish we'd gotten to see more of that. Perhaps another short story at some point in the future? Onto individual character analyses, Esmae is, as mentioned, not really in a great place when the book opens (and I don't just mean physically). She does initially rebound fairly quickly, but everything that's been happening over the past three books does collapse back on her and we get to see the psychological toll that it's taken. Also as mentioned, she still wants to destroy Alexi, but she also takes a moment to reassess things and is willing to try something other than all-out war if possible. Esmae also has to struggle with having lose her 'bowstring thumb' and re-learning how to do certain things with a prosthetic. The process frustrates her and we do get a sense of her loss, but she's also willing to train and work to get to a place where she can still fight, whether it's with her left hand or a different way of using her right. Esmae develops as a character throughout each book and that development is really seen here as she starts to grow away from the solely revenge-driven person she had been in House. Titania gets a POV again in this book and also gets more chapters from her POV. As a ship it's hard to remember how young she is, but she really is just a child still and has seen so much. She yearns to be human, but also knows she's useful as a ship and wants to be able to help Esmae and Max and everyone with the coming war. Despite not being happy with what happened at Arcadia at the end of the last book, Titania seemed to have used Esmae's disappearance as a way to distract herself/rebound and for most of the book she's the same bubbly Titania we've always known. Things do change, as they must, but Titania remains a big part of the story. Radha also gets a POV, which was somewhat surprising as I'd been expecting Sybilla to be a POV character. However, Radha is able to give insight into events and people that the other characters cannot. For instance, at the end of the last book, Radha went back to Wychstar, and so we get to see what's going on there as well as some of the other political events that she's privvy to but that other characters either aren't or don't bother with. I liked seeing inside her head because she is a nice person and she is loyal to Esmae and her new friends on Kali, but also has moments when she doubts herself. Her interactions with Sybilla are fun to read since they have very different dispositions and Radha knows exactly how to tongue-tie Sybilla. Sybilla, while still thorny, lets herself show more emotion in this one. She and Esmae's friendship is perfect and Sybilla offers a good amount of gentleness and hard truths. I feel like we see less of her in this book, though, and I would have liked to see more. I enjoyed reading as she became more open to other people and expressed that softer side of herself. Max underwent some development as well, and while he still prefers peace, we do get to see him in battle a little. Like with Sybilla, I wish we saw more of him in this book, but at least the parts that we do see are rich in content and characterization. I've always appreciated his general demeanor when it comes to Esmae and continue to do so in this book. War is, obviously, not what he wanted, but he's still willing to support whatever she decides. It's also fun to see him and Amba interact more since she's always around now. Alexi is, understandably, frustrating. I mentioned above that he very much cares what others think and that he listens a little too much to Kyra. He's also generally unwilling to listen to anyone else. He does do some good things in the book, don't get me wrong, but he does a lot in this book and misunderstands a lot. I suppose we could say the same of Esmae, but, obviously, we're getting things from Emsae and her friends' POVs, so Esmae's faults seem/feel different than Alexi's. (I should note, it is mostly (entirely?) Alexi and his side of things that engage in the ableism mentioned above) Bear is still pretty much the same he's been in the last two books. He's tied between loyalty to Alexi and loyalty to Esmae. He loves them both and doesn't want either of them fighting and, I think, could himself make a pretty good negotiator/peacemaker given the time and page space. He matters a lot to Alexi and Esmae, which is another reason I think he could've mended things, but he has even less page time here than in House so that isn't his role. Also, while he is stuck in the middle of the two sides, he does consistently chose Alexi, even if he does help Esmae at times. Thus, while he is caught between the two and perhaps could have helped stopped the war, he is also too strongly on Alexi's side for much of his Alexi-Esmae-get-along desires to work out. Sorsha can't really be discussed without spoilery things being revealed. I did like the idea of a space dragon who eats stars, so that was pretty cool. Overall, I did like the book and thought that it was a nice, fitting conclusion to the trilogy. I do wish it had been a bit longer so that we could get more page time with some of the characters, have a bit longer build up to the climax, and then see how things played out a little more after things got (mostly) resolved.

[ziotsu]

time to write out literally all my thoughts as someone who can’t read Japanese!

I actually saw the first few pages when people were posting them because apparently the first half of the chapter comes out the second week? I didn’t post my thoughts cause I wanted to do them all at the same time

Page 1! Well this is fun, I absolutely love the expressions in this manga (I feel like me going on about the art in this manga is going to be a theme lol). But the subtle differences between how Ashiya looks and how he looks when Sakae is controlling him are amazing. And it isn’t just the eye color, but just everything with how Sakae acts and carries himself (face included) really is awesome. And it doesn’t feel like just slapping a new face on Ashiya’s body, I genuinely can see Ashiya making this expression when Sakae isn’t possessing him (if he wasn’t such a cinnamon roll). Also the shock on Abeno’s face is not something we see too often. He has his normal shocked face but this feels more raw than in the past? Like his eyes seem wider and the way his hair is makes it seem like he basically just did a double take. MMMMMMMMMM this is good shit. But story wise, I assume this page is just restating the fact that you really don’t wanna use influence on a parasitic shrub possessed demon.

Page 2 and 3! Abeno know’s what’s up, or at least it seems so. It would be more surprising if he didn’t tbh. Also I wonder if Sakae kind of knew this was going to happen? Considering he was trying to keep them away, I assume he did. At the very least he does not seem shocked at all to see Aoi like that at all. Speaking of Aoi, they are def trapped where they are at. That whole is well large enough for them to get through and attack them again, but they are still on the ground it seems. I am guessing it has to do with the tree we saw coming from their tail last chapter. They are still 110% mad though.

3-4! It looks like it isn’t just the trees that are keeping Aoi down, I thought the roots attaching the main body to the ground had been ripped up but it looks like there are some remaining. Sakae is as gentle as ever, yes just toss away his injured arm, great idea. Now Abeno is in even more pain. The wound though is really deep, looks like two large gashes, which Sakae actually starts to dress (rest in peace, kimono sleeve) (also while abeno is trying to get his arm out of the inner kimono (idk what is is called), we can see the medicine Abeno always carries around! I love the attention to detail in this manga)

5-6! Yup, page 5 doesn't do it justice, but page six really shows the extent of the damage one of the gashes did. Super nasty scar going to go there. We see some more of Aoi though, and do they chirp? Like what cats do? Cause murder cat looks super cute on page 5 and I don’t know how to feel about this.

They look like baby here and I want to protect them. Abeno seems to be bringing up the medicine, though I really don’t know what this would do to Aoi other than basically kill them. Which honestly, may be for the best? I know it’s a bit messed up, but it has been stated before that they are obviously past the point of getting them help, and leaving them there would be super dangerous.

7-8! I am making another assumption that Sakae doesn’t know what the medicine does. Which I have a current theory that the medicine is a new development for the underworld. (if such a medicine existed before Aoi left, why wouldn’t they use it on them?) Which would also mean that Sakae wouldn’t know about it either. My guess from the last pages seem to be correct as there is a panel showing Aoi burning, which seems pretty deathy to me. I honestly don’t know what they are going to do, though I think for now, they should be getting back, reporting the situation and getting help for themselves. Aoi seems really stuck here so I don’t think they are a direct threat to the underworld immediately. (Unless Aoi manages to escape the island and oh boy that would not be good) Abeno seems pretty determined, though, so regardless Aoi is most likely going to meet their actual end.

9-10! Aoi is starting to go to sleep here, Sakae seems really good at first aid (wonder where/why he learned that ;) Maybe a certain lady who often gets sick?) Not a whole lot happens, I think these are mostly showing the passage of time, and it seems Abeno is putting away the medicine for now. Which good move, my boy. Come back to take care of murder cat later. Also I wonder if all those trees are from Aoi’s parasitic shrub. That would be terrifying if that is the case. It could really show how long they have been there, trapped and going mad because of the shrub.

11-12! Good lord all of them are looking super cute this chapter. Sakae you can’t do this to me, just all your movements and facial expressions are justlasdkhjg;lakshjdg. Ashiya is cute in his own right, but this is a different type of cute. Why are all these characters like this and please don’t stop making all these characters like this. We get a good look at Aoi’s spine and it makes me sad (though also could give more insight to how the shrub basically takes over? Using the spinal cord to get to the brain seems like a good path to take if the shrub’s goal is to spread like any other parasite (which also makes sense with the going mad thing, kind of like rabies almost) I am glad Abeno’s arm is being supported and held still with what they had on hand. Still looks super painful though.

13-14! And they are out! At least out of the pit where they can really easily run if they need to. Sakae is starting to get tired, so I wonder how much longer he can go on? I hope he can stay awake long enough to get back to the mononokean because I highly doubt Abeno can carry an unconscious Ashiya back. He would most likely have to wait for Ashiya to wake back up before moving on and who knows how long that will take. Part of page 13 made me go back to see the last few pages, but it looks like Aoi’s front right paw is stuck in the ground :( good cause they are most likely really stuck there and probably wont be able to escape easy but it makes me sad to see the previous master of the mononokean in such a state.

15-16! Oof the tiredness is really showing in the first panel. Get out of there quick so you both can rest! I am guessing Abeno is asking about why Sakae said those things in the flower field.Like how Aoi is dead and such, and honestly did Sakae lie? Aoi, as they were in the past, is dead. They are completely over taken and do not recognize even the child they basically raised.

17-18! Oh boy Sakae is getting more and more tired, Abeno is asking about the golden butterfly and can you two just get going? Ya’ll have limited time here!!!!! Though I wonder if Sakae used his influence on one of the butterflies to communicate to Ashiya? it seems very similar? Or a butterfly made from pure influence? Which would explain how it disappeared when Ashiya grabbed it?

I am going to stop the page format because uh.... WHAT. First off Abeno was def asking about the influence/parasitic shrub thing that Sakae brought up. And WE ACTUALLY LEARN ABOUT IT NEXT CHAPTER. This is huge cause oml this feels like a rare moment. Normally mysteries like this linger for a few chapters, simmer and make us suffer. BUT WE GOT A NEW BRAND OF SUFFERING TODAY FOLKS! Like I theorized it a bit on why I didn’t think Aoi was the one Sakae used his influence on, due to thinking that Aoi being infected years before picking up Abeno seemed super dangerous and didn’t feel like something they would do. I DIDN’T KNOW YOU CAN USE INFLUENCE TO CURE THE PARASITIC SHRUB THOUGH! PAGE 22 IS SUFFERING! PAGE 22 HAS ALL THE ANSWERS! Like we now know what happened, or at least have enough facts to be able to piece it together! Aoi and Sakae went out for a job, either they find out that the demon is infected or know and are going to try to help them out. Aoi somehow gets infected by this demon and Sakae uses his influence to get rid of the growing infection only to die himself as the parasitic shrub is not meant to live in the human body. This explains why Aoi was so beat up over his death, because IT WAS THEIR FAULT. It explains why Sakae would use his influence on a demon that is infected, because it is Aoi, their employer and friend. He probably wasn’t meaning to die at all, just thinking that ‘hey let’s just get rid of this shrub from Aoi so they don’t die because they are an important part of the Underworld (though AU where Sakae can’t do this and has to become the next master of the mononokean ;) )

We also see the aftermath, it is almost like he becomes some form of demon himself, and actually looks infected with the shrub. I doubt it is the same sort of situation because he doesn’t become a tree? I am honestly unsure on how this affected him. He does go and meet his son a few months later, (wait or was that Aoi because between the two pages we see a sort of continuation with the hand on the left (aoi’s hand) but we also see the ‘veins’ of the shrub which hints towards Sakae? I like to think that Sakae visited baby Ashiya, so I am going to go with the assumption it is Sakae visiting till I am proven otherwise) and smol Ashiya is always cute. Ashiya does seem to ‘notice’ something? or he is just a baby and babies cry A LOT. We see Sakae ‘infect’ the butterfly he uses to communicate with Ashiya in the flower field. Wonder if he tried doing the same in the past with Abeno, only Abeno cannot hear his words.

ALSO GUYS I TOLD YOU TO GET OUT OF THERE NOW WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO? Ashiya is now completely passed out, Abeno cannot carry him back and now they gotta just chill there till Ashiya wakes back up. I know it is awesome to have questions answered, but please. 

Though I guess somehow they managed cause Ashiya wakes up in what I can only assume is the Legeslator’s place? It is def not the mononokean (too large and im sure we would be hearing a bell the moment Ashiya woke up) but it could be Korou’s place. Not sure how Abeno managed, but he probably found a way to get them out of there. Rip golden eyes, though :( Guess they were just either the side effect to using that much influence or a hint that Sakae was just kind of hanging around in case shit hits the fan. 

There is incense burning, making a guess this is either a preventative measure against the shrub or something to help wake Ashiya up faster. Ashiya is alone and it seems he is shaken because of what Sakae explained (I am guessing it was similar to his dreams when he subconsciously used his influence and he was dreaming about Sakae’s past)

This chapter was amazing, answered so many things and saw enough cute to really counter balance the ‘what the actual fuck’ this chapter brought along with it.

[innerchorus]

Chapter 77 provided a glimpse of YOUNG GIEVE!

This was super interesting because so little is known about Gieve’s backstory, and for that reason I wanted to take a closer look at what we are shown here and what it might tell us about Gieve’s early life (because thanks to this scene, I have some theories).

This is a very short flashback so I’m going to include all of it below for those who haven’t been able to read the chapter yet.

This flashback shows us a man reciting a cautionary tale concerning Mount Demavant and Zahhak to a group of people (mixed ages/genders) sat around a fire inside a tent. I’ll outline my thoughts on it below.

These people are definitely Parsian, nomadic, and probably a family group. How can we be sure they are Parsian? Well, we know that Gieve is, but even discounting that for a moment, we know that this legend and the fear of the Snake King Zahhak that accompanies it is part of the Parsian national consciousness but not widely known or believed by those from other countries.

I think their nomadic nature is evidenced by the fact that this is taking place in a tent, with belongings suited for travel (bedrolls, luggage packaged up for travel etc) but that could certainly lean towards semi-nomadic depending on how they make a living as they travel around (perhaps they might end up staying in cities/towns for a while here and there, especially if they earn money by entertaining with music and poetry...you can see an oud in the first image!). In addition to this, the story about Zahhak isn’t just a story; it has a practical purpose here, too; a warning that although they may travel far and wide, they shouldn’t venture near Mount Demavant. (Aside from Zahhak, there are other sensible reasons for not going there, as can be seen from the landscape and weather visible in this chapter.)

Why do I feel sure this is a family group? The mixed of ages makes me think of an extended family who live together, travel together and make a shared living (possibly as part of a larger group / nomadic tribe). The dynamic also seems to indicate this, with the older man being the ‘head of the family’ with everyone else listening to him. Gieve’s own words in this chapter also support both the idea that he grew up with family, and the theory that these people earned their living without resorting to banditry. I’ll expand on that now.

Right before this glimpse into his past, Gieve notices tracks which indicate he’s not alone on the mountain, and thinks:

‘No decent man would venture anywhere near Mount Demavant. With the exception of yours truly. Which means they’re brigands or bandits... Either way, they’ll be scoundrels who wouldn’t obey even their own parents.’  (emphasis mine)

Gieve thinks of himself as a decent man, and by extension those who raised him must have been decent people, too. The last line in particular seems to be very significant, given that we have the flashback immediately afterwards. It makes me think that the man in the flashback may well be his father (certain elements of Gieve’s personal style seem to have originated here: the pattern on this man’s hood/blanket is very similar to the one on Gieve’s, both of them have animal paw accessories, and an oud is present which I presume belongs to the man telling the story; this article about gōsān also theorises that the occupation of minstrel must have been passed down from father to son). If this is Gieve’s father, I think we can assume that Gieve had a good relationship with him.

I think it’s worth paying close attention to the wording of Gieve’s thoughts at the close of the flashback, too. As we return to the present, Gieve thinks:

‘Hmph... The dead don’t reawaken.’

I can’t help but wonder whether this scene is also a hint that something bad might have happened to the people in it. The line quoted above is ostensibly about the foretold return of the Hero King, who will then banish Zahhak forever, but it seems as though Gieve is also thinking about something else, something more personal. Is he reflecting on an experience in his past, something that happened to the other people in the flashback? Is that line a hint that some or all of them are dead? I think so. (To be honest, I always had the impression that Gieve learned to be self-sufficient from an early age; that fits with him losing his family while he was young.)

So I definitely think this scene is meant to allude to something bad that happened in Gieve’s past.

I have no idea whether we’ll ever find out for certain what happened, though. I did have an initial theory that there might have been some sort of incident where he didn’t listen to the cautions of his parents and something bad happened as a result, but the more I consider it, the less likely I find that to be true. If you look at young Gieve in this flashback, he sits at the front of the group. I can imagine that he was captivated by the tale being told and obviously believed in it wholeheartedly. He calls the others on the mountain ‘scoundrels who wouldn’t obey even their own parents’ because he sees them as the opposite of himself.

As the flashback ends and we return to the present, it’s clear that as an adult, Gieve is now much more disillusioned with the world and can no longer see things in the same way he did as a child. His experiences (which very likely include the loss of his family) have taught him that the world doesn’t work the way it does in legends and stories, and so he can’t help but be cynical even if part of him wants to be proven wrong (he may be a skeptic, but he definitely has a romantic heart).

So, that was a vague theory about Gieve’s past.

Here’s another theory/headcanon to end this post with. I’ve joked before about Gieve secretly being an immortal Prince of Sistan (since this is the lie he used to deceive Tahamenay’s attendant) but after this flashback I’m considering the idea that Gieve and his family were inspired by/descended from the Saka (a nomadic Iranian people who invaded the Parthian Empire and then eventually settled in Sistan). In the world of Arslan Senki, Sistan is an old country that no longer exists; given the historical location of the real Sistan, perhaps it was absorbed into Pars a long time ago.

I admit that there’s little supporting evidence and mostly I just like the thought that there may have been a grain of truth in what Gieve said after all, but I did notice that one particular Saka group were described as ‘red-haired and blue-eyed.’ Gieve is also described in the novels as having reddish hair and dark blue eyes.

The flashback in this chapter is a new scene added by Hiromu Arakawa, but it’s highly likely that she asked Yoshika Tanaka for guidance. I wonder whether he revealed details about Gieve’s backstory that we don’t yet know If anyone has any thoughts or theories of their own, I’d love to hear about them!

[authoratmidnight]

The more we learn about Sakae the more I’m pissed at how they changed him in the s2 ending and the more I’m sure we’re won’t be getting a s3, or at least non a s3 that follows the manga in anyway.

Cause aside from using the first ep to retcon the last ep, they kinda shot themselves in the foot with the Sakae storyline.

Anime and manga spoilers blelow

The s2 finale went out of their way to make Sakae the antagonist and paint him as a bad guy, which basically spits in the face of what we’re learning about him and the way the scene went down in the manga.

In the manga the spider was the villain of that arc through and through. It used it’s threads/ability to try to manipulate Abeno into freeing it and failing that took control of Ashiya to do the same thing, and when Abeno interfered had Ashiya attempt to kill him. Upon having the sense slapped back to him by a barely conscious Abeno Sakae’s spirit then took control (as Ashiya though he’d killed Abeno and was horrified) and proceeded to unflinchingly use his Influence to kill the spider.

For some reason, the anime left out attempting to control Abeno and had it control Ashiya from the get go (which, ok fine that’s not /that/ big of a change) and had Sakae take control of him sooner and had SAKAE be the one trying to kill Abeno for stopping him from killing the spider. And while he was slapped back to his senses, he proceeded to collapse and pass out once Ashiya took control back, and then Abeno freed and exorcised the spider back tot he underworld. Alive.

Which, frankly makes 0 sense even in the context OF THE SHOW as the spider demon 1) was clearly sealed for a damn good reason and Abeno realized at the start that freeing it was a bad idea cause it would kill them and 2) it was literally screaming moments before about how it ‘hates all humans’ and was ‘going to kill all humans’ when it was freed.

And I’m expected to believe that Abeno stopping Ashiya from killing it and it talking to Fuzzball is enough to make it do a 180 in its ways and decide ‘oh hey maybe humans aren’t all bad and I can trust them. Yeah it was pleading ‘oh I promise I won’t hurt any humans’ but like, fuck, antagonists/villains say that all the fucking time w/o meaning it in an attempt to play off the kindness of the hero. Like, this thing was literally sealed away to keep it from hurting anyone. For decades (if not more). I really doubt a 30 second talk with a human and a fluff ball is gong to make it suddenly be all good.

But back on the topic of Sakae. While it’s true we at that point didn’t know much about him aside from he’s Ashya’s dad, his appearance, his yokai related abilities, that he knew Aoi-san and that he is apparently infamous for using his Influence ability to kill yokai. That’s it.

And as it is the last point should be taken with a grain of salt as we’re hearing that tidbit from yokai who are, quite frankly, very prejudiced against humans. (the Executive literally tried to kill Ashiya were he stood simply cause ‘I don’t like humans’ so you can bet the yokai aren’t going to care *why* Sakae did what he did, just that he did it.

Plus, we’ve never been given any indication that he dislikes or has harmed humans. In fact, quite the opposite. If Ashiya’s mother is any indication he goes out of his way to HELP them.

Case in point, new information we’ve learned seems to suggest (to me at least) that Sakae, may not be all that bad a person. I mean he was friends with and even employed by Aoi, so I can’t imagine them employing someone that dangerous.

We’ve recently learned that, he’s actually quite kind, having rescued a nearly frozen to death yokai and nursed her back to health, and that he seems to have been something of a yokai magnet to the point that his family died ‘under suspicious circumstances’ and all the people that looked after him or were friends with him got sick or injured mysteriously (it’s implied this is due to yokai) so he was something of a loner as no one wanted to be around him. On top of that, Ashiya’s mother seems to have been a yokai magnet herself, although she can’t see them. In fact all the characters that met Sakae themselves have only good things to say about him. Everything else we hear is second hand accounts.

If anything, what we’re learning seems to suggest that perhaps all the yokai he killed were out of self defence to protect himself or his family. Especially if we look at all the times that he’s taken over Ashiya.

Incident one- The capybara yokai that attack and injured Fuzzball then attmpted to kill Ashiya

Incident two- When Yahiko tried to play a joke on Ashiya and took on the form of the Executive-someone who that long ago had attempted to kill Ashiya, and incident we KNOW left him fucked up. Ashiya’s PTSD kicked in and he thought he was going to die if he didn’t act first.

Incident three- The spider yokai. It used him to try and kill Abeno (and indeed Ashiya did think he had done that) and it was going to kill him.

Each and every time Sakae has taken over it was because Ashiya and/or someone dear to him was facing down a yokai that had malicious intent and he and/or someone he cared about was in life threatening danger (or perceived danger in the case of the second incident, his ptsd overrode everything else so as far as he was concerned he WAS in danger). Sakae is trying to protect Ashiya. Which makes sense considering how much Sakae (and those close to him) apparently suffered b/c of yokai.

As I mentioned earlier the yokai are hella prejudiced against humans so even if it turns out that all the yokai he killed had attacked him/someone close to him unprompted and wanted to kill them and he only ended up killing them in defence/because they wouldn’t leave when he told them to, all they would care about ‘this human killed yokai so he’s a bad human’.

BUT, because of the change at the end of s2, this won’t work. The anime has Sakae as a bad guy who will even attack humans (which, we’ve never had any indication he’d do and with what we did learn it *really* seems unlikely he would do). Which is gonna make it really hard to paint him as sympathetic later on as we learn more about him. Plus the fall out from that event had lasting impacts on the characters AND the story. Can’t run with the ‘you killed a yokai so you’re banned from the underworld’ plot line since, he didn’t kill anything (and it would see weird ban him for almost doing that now when the capybara incident did not get him banned). Can’t have Ashiya working through the trauma that came out of ‘I killed a yokai with my own hands’ cause, that never happened. Any hope of Sakae as a sympathetic character is gone now.

They literally removed an entire plot point and butchered up an other.

So idk how they’d manage a third season that follows the manga storyline short of using the first episode to retcon the s2 finale. Since we don’t see Abeno send the spider off they could, feasibly, get away with pulling ‘Abeno fibbed to Ashiya about what happened and [Ashiya] actually DID kill the spider yokai and what we saw was just what Abeno told Ashiya had happened’. It might seem a big contrived but that’s the only way short write an entirely new story from this point on.

And it frustrates me b/c this is a good series and I’ve love a third season, but whoever was doing the script writing and adapting shot themselves in the foot with their decision on how to end S2.

If you’re adapting a story that’s not finished, and the author has clearly laid the groundwork for character/their motives but hasn’t revealed things in full yet, it’s probably NOT a good idea to decide to tamper with and change what is already known about them. Cause those changes might fuck everything up.