#saileen for the win!

[4c-aperture]

my blog title says "lee moldaver did nothing wrong" and truly!! she did absolutely nothing wrong! that company dropped nukes on the world to make more money!! hank maclean should've looked like ground beef when lucy came to rescue him!!!

[sastielsfandom]

Sam paused, tapping his fingers against the counter, extending his hand," I mean, kiss me if I'm wrong but-"

"You're wrong," Castiel and Eileen said in unison, interrupting Sam, both blank looks on their face.

Sam frowned, looking at them two so confused, "I didn't finish what-"

"You are wrong," They repeated together with a look.

Castiel patting Sam's arm, "You are very very wrong."

Eileen patting his other arm, "I agree."

Sam shook out his hair, looking at the two, he supposed it didn't hurt to be wrong sometimes, not when it meant Castiel cupping his face, pulling him into a soft tender kiss. Letting go, just for Eileen to do the same, except biting his lips a little when she pulled away.

"So, what were you going to say?"Eileen asked, the two awaiting his answer.

The only problem with that is Sam was completely dazed, "Hmm?"

"We didn't let you finish your sentence," Castiel reminded him, Sam nodded looking at the two.

"Oh," he said, tapping the counter again, "I- something about being wrong?"

Sam: Kiss me if I'm wrong but-

Cas and Eileen: You're wrong.

Sam: I didn't finish what-

Cas and Eileen: Sam, you are wrong.

Eileen: Very wrong.

Cas: Incredibly wrong.

Sam:

Sam: I think I can accept being wrong.

[420technoblazeit]

i watn to make an spn ships bracket but ik for sure drowley or crowstiel woudlnt win and its be like. saileen or smth and hten I'd leave the fandom and never return

[wormstacheangel]

Day 29: Fragile

Word Count: 1231

Summary: Sam has trouble saying ‘I love you’ but Eileen is the best so it’s kind of hard not to feel it. Catch up on my suptober fics HERE.

--

Sam was always afraid of finding someone. At first it was all he wanted and he would daydream about having that special someone to come home too. Someone who understood his strange life and still wanted to stay by his side. Though he soon learned that not even knowing about life or even being a part of it saved them. The life was not the problem. The problem was him. 

He was the reason Jessica died. He was the reason Sarah died. He was the reason Amy died. He had to be Madison's executioner. Even Eileen died because of him.

She’s back now, a thing only the Winchesters can really say, and everything was going...pretty well between them. They went on dates a couple times before the whole big Chuck battle but now that it’s over, now that they know they are real, it started to become more real. And it scared the living shit out of him.

“I love you.” Eileen said for the first time one night and Sam hesitated. Not because he didn’t feel the same way but because all this is still so new. So fragile. 

He knew they weren’t part of a story anymore. That nothing will strike down and kill her but still it was always there in the back of his mind. If he fell too hard for her she could be taken away from him and he can’t lose her again. 

So he didn’t say anything. He just held her a little bit tighter as he rested his head on her chest, hearing her heart beat and have his breathing match hers. Her fingers running through his hair probably knowing that he wasn’t sleeping but not pressing him more. 

When she says it again it’s a few weeks later on a family trip to the fair. Dean and Cas took Jack on some rides while Eileen and him decided to make a competition on who could win the first rigged game. They were laughing and even the worker seemed to be laughing along with them. When it was her last toss to win the highest price Sam pinned her to him as she laughed. Trying to throw it over him but he wasn’t going to let her but because she’s resistant, and cheated with a kiss, she made it over him and won. 

“I won!” She signed with a big grin that Sam bent down again to kiss. “Good thing I love you cause it’s embarrassing to date a loser.”

Luckily the employee grabbed her attention to ask her which of the prizes she wanted, she picked a giant Pikachu to give to Jack later, and Sam had to take a dizzy breath before he could face her again. 

“Wow, it’s bigger than you.” Sam signed for her and she stuck her tongue out at him as she pressed the Pikachu close to her. 

She turned around to lead the way back to meet the rest of his family and he watched her leave. The ‘I love you’ stuck in his throat because he was afraid to put it out into the world. Afraid to show the world that she was important to him. That she may just be it for him. 

Because the world has this thing where it likes to take people he loves away. 

She says it again only a few days later. 

The four of them went on a double date but it ended with them getting drunk around the map table. Cas and her were naming their perks on dating a Winchester, really just giving the brothers more ammunition to tease one another later. 

Cas somehow ended up sitting on Dean’s lap to prove to Eileen that Dean was much more comfier than Sam. Dean was happy enough to hold him as he wrapped his around Cas’s waist and tilted his head up for a kiss. Sam chuckled at that and Dean flipped him off. 

“Love you.” Cas quietly said as they broke apart and with a smile Dean said it back. So quickly and easily. There was no fear in his voice or his dumb lovestruck expression. He was happy to say it because the world did keep pulling them apart. Even God tried pulling them apart but they always came back to each other. How are they not afraid to be pulled away again?

“Okay,” Dean pats the table as he helps Cas off his lap and then half carries him with an arm around his waist. “We’re gonna pack it in. See you guys bright and...mid afternoon. Night!”

“Goodnight.” Cas waves at them as he puts most of his weight on Dean as they walk back to their room.

Sam watched them leave and Eileen, who was still on his lap, was falling asleep, looking as cute and small as ever. He stayed like that for a while. Watching her sleep and then closing his own eyes to just feel her warmth radiate through him. 

“I love you.” She then whispers and it caught him off guard. “I know...I know you love me too. It’s okay. I know but I’m gonna keep saying it. So you can stop looking like you just caught me killing a damn cat every time I do.”

Sam couldn’t hold in his laugh but held her tighter. “Okay.”

She reached over to kiss his jaw before tucking her face into his neck. “Now, carry me to bed.”

It was only a few days later when Sam surprised even himself and said it for the first time. It was dumb. She had whip cream on her nose because she took a big fork full of waffles. When he told her she only wiggled her nose and then tried to wipe it on him. 

“Be a good boyfriend and be my napkin.”

“No!” He laughed as he held her at arms length. “Let me wipe it off you.”

“Ugh, fine.” She sat still with her chin stuck out so he could wipe it off her. 

He wiped the whip cream off her mouth and when he pulled away to look at her, like really look at her, he couldn’t stop himself any longer. “I love you.” 

Her smile dropped. She even dropped her fork and before Sam really could do or say anything else, Eileen went to crowd him at his side of the booth. She looked up at him with scrunched eyebrows and a wrinkled up nose. 

“Say it again.” She signed but said at the same time. 

It was already out there in the world. He would say he has nothing to lose now but that's not true. He has her to lose and he couldn’t have that but her eyes were rounding up as she looked at him longer. She looked almost heartbroken that he was taking so long to just repeat the words that accidentally slipped out. She looked like she was about to give up on him so he took a deep breath.

“I love you.” He signed and said back to her. 

Her smile grew as she signed it back to him before reaching up to kiss him and hold him in a tight hug. She may be small but he always felt safe when she held him. He loved her so much and he won’t let the world take her away again.

--

Tag List: @galaxycastiel​

[chrrispine]

they're so cute I love them (x)

[sam-nemesism]

yall rlly like samjesstiel, huh. now let me introduce u to saileenjesstiel <3 or maybe even. saileenwena

[eruthiawenluin]

It would be nice if people cared about saileen as a stand-alone ship instead of as an extension of destiel

I’ve said it from the start but you all could not be more transparent about your pair the spares attitude

[arclucifer666]

It doesn't matter all the material they are creating about saileen because NOTHING will change the only reality that matters: Sam and Dean together in heaven forever. 👇🏻😁🥂

[samsqueerpolycule]

The Lock Screen on Eileen’s phone is Sam oh my gosh I’m going to cry I love them so much.

[viktorbf]

they should just replace jarpad in 15x20 with a random lady and no one even mentions it. her name is still sam and shes deans sister and shes in love with eileen. lesbians.

[sastielsfandom]

I appreciate the fact that so many sastiel shippers saw eileen coming back as an absolute win and went saileen + sastiel = greatness and with a quickness too

[dapper-wings]

SPN 15 Spoilers

But, like, 

SAILEEEEEEEEN THOOOOOO

AND WITCH!SAM 

MY HEART LITERALLY CANNOT TAKE THIS

I’M SO HERE FOR THIS WIN!!!!! 

[sissa-arrows]

Imagine...

Dean waking up in the middle of the night and Sam's bedroom door is slightly open and the light is still on so he wanna check on his little brother. He sees that Sam fell asleep Eileen's letter is under his pillow and he has an ASL book next to his laptop because a small part of Sam still hope he can have his happy ending and his happy ending include Eileen... Because maybe just maybe Chuck will bring back Eileen the same way he keeps on bringing back Cas for Dean and he wanna suprise her by being way better in ASL than when she left...

[rosewhipped22]

So I already made a post about how Eileen’s death created a lot of doubt... but now we have Ketch back in the mix and he’s like the one dude who knows for sure what happened to Eileen.  Because Toni was all “idek if we killed her, but probs.”

The missing pieces of Eileen’s death didn’t die with Ketch and that pleases me greatly.  

BUT! even better, this season already has a repeating theme of ‘hey, that’s totally not your real lover’ and Dean has complained "I’m getting sick and tired of fighting things that look like other things” even BEFORE we get to the whole Arthur/Alexander Ketch business and Asmodeus impersonating Cas (which I hope we get more of!).

So is it really so much of a stretch to have a scene for Sam where the woman he was starting to love isn’t really dead after all and the body they saw was simply part of the ‘lover with a deceiving face’ trope???  I think not.

[dean-is-love]

remember the jackles longcon? the tapes??? cas is lamp theory? how we thought love could win? how we invented a thousand better plots for the finale? how they got married? how we raised so much money for the castiel project and for dean is love project? the friends we made? jensen shovelling snow? bill clinton? the cartwright twins? the 17th birthday nuns? the saileen wedding?

[sortasirius]

“Despair” and Dean and Cas

Well well well, winning is my favorite thing.

As usual, this is going to be as long as hell. And fair warning, it’s extremely emotional.

So here it is, the thing that we have been barrelling towards for years, literally years.

Just want to point out this.  Also, I will NEVER allow someone to speak negatively about this writing group, EVER.

Team Free Dads starting off the episode is so sweet, so scary.  Cas’ calming, Dean’s fear, Sam’s desperation, really just hammering home how much they love Jack, how his pain is pain for them, how losing him is unbearable.

“I can’t stop this.  I’m coming apart.  I don’t want to hurt you.  Don’t let me hurt you.”

Oof.  If you’ve ever question whether Jack is a Winchester, this line should shut that shit down for you.

When I tell you I was PISSED when Billie sent Jack to the Empty to EXPLODE?????  PAIN.

“Yeah the Empty can’t come to earth, not without being summoned.”

Hello Bobo, clue number 1.

The fact that they only had Jack in limbo for like five seconds was great for my heart health, thank u very much Bobo.

Also Dean wielding Death’s scythe?????? KING?????

Man, Sam and Dean’s growth.  The way that they’re able to, idk, actually speak on how they feel without death looming or fear or pain.  It’s just a conversation, just an honest conversation of Dean admitting his mistakes, admitting how he felt.  Admitting that he fucked up, and Sam forgiving him for it.

CHARLIE AND HER GF CHARLIE AND HER GF CHARLIE AND HER GF

Also...hunters and their “dates.”  Two hunters who are happily together, who are happily fighting monsters.  Hm.  Sounds like a Saileen/Destiel parallel to me boys.

You ever wish Cas would look and the mirror and take the great advice he gives others?  Because I do.  He’s always tried to be “useful” for Sam and Dean, for Jack, always tried to make sure that he’s useful enough that they keep him around.  But what he doesn’t understand, what he’s never understood, is that they need him because of who he is, not because of what he contributes.

Remind y’all of anything?

And here we have Clue Number 2

And then, Sam’s realization.  Eileen.

Did I begin full tilt screaming no in my apartment when he said her name?  Who’s to say?

How can a lock screen cause me this much pain????

Okay but: Charlie loses Stevie, Sam loses Eileen.  Clue Number 3.

I feel like I don’t talk enough about how much Sam loves Eileen.  About how obvious it is that they are endgame, about how happy he is when he talks about her.  This just feels like a blow to the stomach, but we’ve barely even started.

Sam immediately shifting into protective leader mode?  He is the love of my life.

Dean’s simple nod, like it’s a given?  Enough to do me in right there.

This is another episode where it’s just so clear that Sam is the leader of the North American hunters.  Everyone knows him, everyone is willing to follow him.  He’s knowledgeable and kind and fair and just and an incredibly capable fighter.  Once again, I don’t believe his work on earth is done.

Can we also please talk about how FRIGHTENING IT WAS for Jack to kill that plant???  I don’t really have much of a comment on it because I was literally just like ?????

With Billie saying that it’s Chuck, the way that people were dusted, very similar to Becky and Amara, I honestly wouldn’t be surprised, especially with Donna getting taken off the board.  It’s like I said last week, I don’t buy that he’s taken himself off the board, he’s too invested in the unraveling of this story to take a step back.  He’s gotta break them before he can defeat them, that’s the only way.

And here we go, into one of the most painful and surreal things I will ever write about.

Dean’s speech.  His guilt, his regret.  The shame of not only trapping himself, but the pain, the horror of trapping Cas.

“I just lead us into another trap.  All because I, I couldn’t hurt Chuck.  Because I was angry and because I just needed something to kill, and because that’s all I know how to do.”

“Dean-”

“It was Chuck all along.  We never should have left Sam and Jack, we should be there with them now.  Everybody’s gonna die, Cas.  Everybody.  I can’t stop it.”

His narrative arc.  Tied up in a bow.

“She’s gonna get through that door.”

“I know.”

“And she’s gonna kill you and then she’s gonna kill me.  I’m sorry.”

Cas smiles.

Cas knows.  He knows what’ll get them out of this, and he knows that he would do anything in this Universe for Dean Winchester. The human man he fell for.

“When Jack was dying, I made a deal to save him.”

“You what?”

“The price was my life.  When I experienced a moment of true happiness, the Empty would be summoned and it would take me forever.”

“Why are you telling me this now?”

“I always wondered, ever since I took that burden, that curse, I’ve wondered what it could be, what my true happiness could even look like.  I never found an answer, because the one thing I want, it’s something I know I can’t have. 

“But I think I know, I think I know now...happiness isn’t in the having, it’s in just being.  It’s in just saying it.”

“What are you talking about, man?”

The most selfless thing Cas does in this, and he does a lot of selfless things, is to tell Dean Winchester how impossibly good he is.  To tell him that he is worthy, to tell him that he is adored.

“I know, I know how you see yourself, Dean.  You see yourself the same way our enemies see you.  You’re destructive and you’re angry and you’re broken and you’re daddy’s blunt instrument.  And you think that hate and anger, that’s what drives you, that’s who you are.  It’s not.  And everyone who knows you sees it, and everything you have ever done, the good and the bad, you have done for love.  You raise your little brother for love, you fought for this whole world for love.  That is who you are.

“You’re the most caring man on earth.  You are the most selfless, loving human being I will ever know.  You know, ever since we met, ever since I pulled you outta Hell...knowing you has changed me.

“Because you cared, I cared.  I cared about you, I cared about Sam, I cared about Jack, I cared about the whole world because of you. 

“You changed me, Dean.”

“Why does this sound like a goodbye?”

Dean’s greatest fear. His fear of those loving him leaving him. The terror of being alone.

“Because it is.

The head shake.  Don’t love me.  Don’t love me if it means you’ll leave me, don’t love me, everyone I love leaves me.  Don’t leave me.  Don’t love me.  Don’t leave me.

“Don’t do this, Cas.”

Just like I always thought.  One last look at Dean before the Empty takes him.

“Cas-”

“Goodbye Dean.”

And Dean is left, broken on the floor, unable to answer Sam’s calls, unable to do anything.  It doesn’t matter to him that Chuck has wiped everyone out, it doesn’t matter to him that Sam and Jack might need him.  It doesn’t matter.  It doesn’t matter, because the thing that mattered still hangs on his lips, still waiting to be said, and now he won’t get another chance to say it.

The fact that I am writing this, even with all my spec, with all my analysis of the writers’ room, of their text, of the way Dabb and co had approached this story, nothing could have ever prepared me for this.  Nothing could have prepared me for a three and a half minute, uninterrupted scene where Cas confesses not only that he loves Dean, but that he has always loved him.

I talk a lot about how these writers don’t get the credit they deserve.  Unfortunately, from most of this fandom, they never will.  We will likely never know the fights with the network they had, the steps backward they had to take, the way they had to beg and fight and claw to get this on the screen.  But they did it.  They did it for these characters, they did it for this dinosaur of a show, and yeah, they did it for us.

It was not easy, I can promise you, to get this greenlit.  They had to fight for this, they likely had to call in favors and make threats and quite literally put their careers on the line (you may scoff at that, but WB is a BIG company, especially in the TV/movie world) for this story.  This story of Dean and Cas, the man dragged out of Hell and the angel who fell for him.

I have tons more to say, and will likely have several more posts about this, but I want to leave all my babes who are worried that that was the end for Dean and Cas with some takeaways.

Sam is missing Eileen.  Dean is missing Cas.  That is no longer a fun subtextual parallel, that is it for them.  Their respective endgames are missing, and they will not know their peace until they get them back.  Chuck will not win.  That’s not the story being told, and right now?  He’s winning.  He’s broken them, left them with nothing, left them with an empty world and a hole in each of their hearts where their person (or angel) used to be.

Our show is going to end with “contentment.”  “Contentment” isn’t from Sam and Dean being filled with grief and hitting the open road.  It isn’t Sam getting Eileen back and leaving Dean with no one.  “Contentment” is Sam and Eileen, Dean and Cas.  Together.