#said huge fish is also pink

[conceptofjoy]

im probably a girl but i have capitalism to suffer though and then i gotta fight a huge fish later so idrc about that rn

[shy-writer-999]

Summary: Luffy gets into an alluring tin of mysterious cookies. One thing leads to another, and he ends up in your room, disoriented and distressed. What will it take to help him feel better? ~5k words.

CW: Smut with a bit of plot. Afab reader, gendered language (“princess”), overstimulation, dry humping, begging, aphrodisiacs, penetrative sex.

MINORS DNI. NSFW CONTENT.

Luffy stumbles into your cabin late at night. The door is wide open and it seems like no one else on the Sunny is awake. You’re messing around on your phone, doom scrolling to pass the time and entertain yourself. You wish that you could fall sleep, but it won’t come any time soon. It’s a restless sort of night.

He almost trips over his feet as he crashes onto the chair by your desk.

“Luffy, what’s up? It’s late.”

A closer look at him reveals that he’s sweating and bright red. His eyes look off and he looks sick.

“Are you okay?” You’re worried—he looks seriously unwell.

“I feel funny. I think I ate something bad, my tummy hurts.” Luffy’s brows are bent in the middle and he’s grimacing.

You’ve seen Luffy when he has food poisoning before. He literally turns green and complains non-stop. It’s his own fault, he’s like a racoon. He��ll eat anything, regardless of how questionable it is. Old leftovers wherever he can find them, almost-rotting fruit, poisonous fish, none of it matters for Luffy. If it looks edible, he’s taking it to the neck. He frequently suffers the consequences.

But right now, he’s not green, like he usually is when he’s eaten something spoiled. He looks different.

You get up and walk over to him, placing your hand on his forehead. When your skin touches his, he lets out what initially sounds like some sort of moan, but you shrug it off—that must have been a wail of pain, right? He’s concerningly feverish and sweating bullets.

Does he have the flu? Should you wake up Chopper?

“Luffy, you’re burning up. Like, you have a really bad fever. I’m going to get Chopper.”

“Wait, I feel—I feel weird inside,” Luffy’s voice strains and he sounds like he’s in pain He’s visibly shivering. “It’s like my stomach is on fire, but I feel cold.” He continues almost babbling, so obviously in distress and discomfort, feverish nonsense falling from his lips impulsively.

You don’t realize it yet, but his hand wanders to his crotch and starts to fidget.

“Your stomach is on fire but you’re freezing cold? Did you eat something that went bad again? What did you eat?” You raise an eyebrow at him, vaguely annoyed. He sure doesn’t look like he has food poisoning. Also, there isn’t usually much spoiled food on the ship. Sanji keeps the fridge nice, tidy, and clean.

Why did Luffy come to you, instead of Chopper? He’s distracted, eyes zoning out somewhere and his face wrinkled up. He must not have heard you.

“I said, what did you eat? Luffy!”

“I ate—fuck,” Luffy’s brows furrow and he closes his eyes in anguish. “Ate Sanji’s cookies.”

“You did what? Sanji’s cookies? The ones with the huge note that says ‘do not eat’ on the tin?”

Luffy lets out another wail of pain and shifts in his seat. His fingers squeeze his crotch again. He’s hard, rubbing his massive erection, sliding his fingers over it, squeezing it and playing with himself.

“Luffy, what are you doing?!” You’re incredulous when you realize he’s touching himself. You’ve never seen anything like this before. He’s your captain, for fuck’s sake. What was he doing touching himself in your room, with a raging fever and chattering teeth?

Putting the pieces together, you remember that Sanji had devilish smirk as he brought his special souvenir onto the ship. It was a pretty box, made of metal, covered in some sort of light blue paint, filigreed with gold accents and illustrations of pretty pink ribbons. The chef put an obnoxious “DO NOT EAT SANJI’S COOKIES” sign on the box and slid them to the top shelf of the pantry, almost out of reach. It was, admittedly, extremely naïve of Sanji to expect Luffy to pay any heed to that sign.

You put two and two together. The cookies must have had something in them.

As a response to your indignance, Luffy squeezes his erection harder and gasps quietly. Sweat drips from his temples and down his cheeks. His mouth hangs open, and his pupils are huge. He’s a fucking mess, and you have no clue what to do in this situation.

“’m so cold,” he whines and shakes. “Too c-c-cold.”

This is wildly inappropriate, but… you are kind of turned on, just because he’s touching himself. You have some sort of repressed crush on your captain—how could you not? You usually push it to the back of your mind, though. Pining over him is a waste of time when nothing would ever come of it.

“Fuck,” Luffy’s voice is gravelly and his hand moves of its own accord. “Feels like it’s helping. Feels warm.”

Your heart does a flip. Luffy is palming his cock in front of you, panting with arousal, head thrown back. He can’t help but touch himself. It’s the only thing that’s relieving his discomfort, evidently. You feel awkward, but it’s almost starting to get you going. You feel heat creep up your neck and you're frozen still.

Luffy’s eyes wander to your chest—he’s staring at your breasts, drinking in the shape of them and the outline of your nipples though your shirt. You start to turn red, matching his color rapidly.

“Luffy, what the fuck? Stop! You’re a wreck.” You divert the awkwardness for a second. “No wonder the sign says do not eat! I’m going to get Chopper. You need to rest. Go do that in your room.”

Luffy grinds his palm down his erection and a stifled sound of pleasure gets caught in his throat. You pause, against your better judgment. That sound—the sound of Luffy in pleasure—makes you feel some sort of way. You start to warm up between the legs.

“I want you to do it.” Luffy’s voice gets lower each time he talks. He’s still shaking, freezing, sweating, and unwell. But he’s touching himself, and you had imagined this before. It’s hard to look away.

“What?” You respond reflexively, caught completely off guard. Did you hear him right?

“Want you to touch me,” he whines and continues to rub himself. The friction feels electric. “I think it’ll h-help.”

Luffy’s eyes are half open and glossy, still riveted on your tits. His pupils are really dilated. His fingers grasp and stroke his hard cock through his shorts, and each sound that leaves his mouth goes straight between your thighs.

“You want me to touch you? Are you… Are you sure, Luffy?”

“Need it,” he scrunches his face up. “’m going crazy.”

You bite your lip and pause for a second. If your captain was asking you for help, you might as well assist him… Also, this didn’t feel like that crazy of a request for help, considering the fact that he’d literally die for you (and has gotten close to that on multiple occasions). And you could tell he wasn’t being malicious or predatory about his request—he was just being Luffy, asking plainly for something. If you said no, he would be fine. He may whine a bit, but he’d never genuinely pressure you to do something you were uncomfortable with.

But fuck, was he in his right mind? You shake your head. You want to touch him. But you are genuinely worried about him. It must be 2:00AM, so you need to wake up Chopper. You might want to touch Luffy, but you have to do your due diligence. You care about Luffy. If he’s sick or in danger, you have to make sure he’s okay.

“Luffy, no. I’m going to get Chopper. Just wait here.”

You speed-walk down the hallway, heart racing. What a bizarre turn of events. You didn’t expect that to happen when Luffy initially walked in your room. When you reach the door to Chopper’s cabin, you knock.

No answer. He’s obviously asleep.

You knock again. “Chopper? It’s me. Please get up. Luffy’s sick.”

Another knock. Rustling blankets. You can hear Chopper hobble to the door. He opens it and pokes his little head out, squinting. He’s wearing one of those sleeping gowns and a cute hat. “Mhm? What’s wrong with him?”

“Uh... He has a fever. He’s burning up and he’s shaking. He’s sweating a lot, too.” You figured you’d save the ‘and he’s masturbating’ part for later. Maybe you didn’t have to say it at all?

“Does he have food poisoning? Did he eat anything out of the ordinary?”

“Well, I don’t think he has food poisoning... But he ate some of Sanji’s cookies.”

“What’s in the cookies?” Chopper is shading his eyes from the dim hallway light. He’s half asleep and you feel bad for waking him up.

“I-I don’t know. Maybe there was something weird in them?”

Chopper yawns. Fuck. He looks like he’s falling asleep again. You can’t blame him, really, it’s way past his bedtime.

“Chopper, can you please come look at him?”

He yawns again. “I’m sleepy. Can you ask Sanji what’s in the cookies and get back to me? I just want to go to bed a little bit longer.”

You huff and frown as Chopper shuts his door. So now you were supposed to play telephone? If it was anyone else you would have chewed them out, but you couldn’t do that to Chopper.

Extremely aggravated, you storm down the hallway to Sanji’s cabin and knock on the door, loudly. It’s an angry knock. A fuck-you knock.

“Sanji. Get up.” Silence for a moment while the blonde jolts awake. “I said get up.”

His door opens just a tad until he realizes it’s you. Then he opens it wider. His hair is all rustled up and he’s shirtless, in boxers. If he wasn’t half-asleep, he’d be blushing and acting ridiculous because you’re seeing him half-naked.

“Oh, hello beautiful.” His voice is scratchy and he’s blinking. “How may I help you? Are you finally going to crawl into bed with me?” He flashes a cheeky grin and you almost slap him.

“No, Sanji. Luffy ate your cookies. He’s a mess.”

The cook’s half-asleep composure immediately drops. “He did what?”

You can tell he’s fully awake now.

“I said, he ate your fucking cookies, Sanji. What is in those things!?”

“FUCK. How many did he eat?”

“How many? How should I know?! He’s in my room with a fever right now. It’s Luffy, we can assume he probably ate the whole box.”

Sanji smirks and laughs out loud. “Well, there’s only one way to fix that. Good night, princess.” He winks and shuts the door in your face.

“Sanji, what the fuck!?”

You knock on his door again, but you can hear him get back in bed. You’re beyond pissed. You’re ready to kick the door down and wring his neck. But… you have a sinking feeling that you know what the cook is getting at. Fuck. The cookies have some sort of aphrodisiac in them.

You trudge back to your room, flabbergasted and defeated. Luffy is still in your chair, letting out wails of “pain” which you are now realizing are just fucking moans. Not to say that he isn’t in pain but… if the placement of his hand is any evidence right now, he’s feeling pretty good.

“Y-you’re back,” Luffy gasps as he grinds his palm on his erection for what is probably the 50th time.

“Fuck, Luffy. What did you get yourself into tonight? You can be such a bonehead. Goddamn.” Your hands are on your hips and you’re looking at him, weighing your options. You could kick him back to his room and tell him to masturbate.

He looks downright pathetic. His face is twisted up in agony and his hand is putting in work. “T-touch me,” he whines. “P-please.”

“Luffy, are you sure?” You walk over to him and place a hand on his cheek in pity.

He opens his eyes and weakly croaks out, “Not there. Lower.”

You tut and frown. “Ohhh Luffy. What am I going to do with you?”

He tries to give you puppy dog eyes and fails. Another erotic sound escapes his lips as his palm grinds on his cock particularly hard. He whispers, one last beg before he’ll do all the work himself. “Please.”

You cautiously reach your hand down and place it on his erection. Luffy throws his head back, hissing in air through his teeth, and fidgets under you.

“Fuck, that feels weird. Feels tingly, like—like it’s on fire,” he whines.

He grasps your wrist and makes you rub his cock harder, widening his thighs. His grip is so tight that it hurts. He’s forcing your palm down on his cock so hard that you can’t believe it isn’t hurting him.

Luffy’s eyes are closed and he’s actually drooling. He’s still shivering, and his cheeks are crimson. Sweat plasters his hair down on his forehead and temples.

The obscene sounds leaving his lips make you hotter between your legs—you squeeze your thighs together in an attempt to mitigate the rising heat, but Luffy’s desperation is making it worse. He’s starting to rut his cock up into your hand.

“Ah, that feels—feels so hot and—fuck—feels funny, like it, it feels good.” You can feel his cock twitching under your fingers. He’s writhing around and whimpering, and fuck, he looks good. “Need more.”

“Y-you need more?” You ask hesitantly.

“C’mere.” Luffy grabs you by your waist and effortlessly lifts you up, guiding you to straddle his lap. You freeze up. There’s no way this is really happening.

“Mmmmmm, fuck.” He murmurs in your ear and his hips buck up, cock craving friction through the layer of his pants and yours.

“W-want you to rub on me,” his voice is wretched and depraved. “Feels good.” When you lock eyes, you can see animalistic desire plainly. You’ve never seen him look like this—it’s like he’s a different person; lust is completely driving his movements. It’s like primal instincts took over the second the aphrodisiac cookies went to his stomach.

Luffy dry humps you and it’s starting to feel good. His hands are gripping your hips and he’s doing all the work, dragging you over his cock, pushing you down on it and making your hips roll while needy noises trickle from his parted lips.

As friction builds on your clit, you stifle a moan that threatens to jump out of your mouth. Luffy’s so aroused that he’s panting and slobbering down his chin.

It’s like he’s in heat, the way he humps and grinds on you. Seeing him like this is making you wetter. Your panties must be saturated by now—the friction is already making you buzz, and he hasn’t done much other than rub you on his cock a bit.

“It’s helping,” the words fall carelessly from Luffy’s mouth. He has no clue what’s going on. He’s on autopilot right now, lost in lust and barely cognizant. “Wanna be warmer, ‘m still so—so cold.” His teeth are chattering amidst his moans. Considering how hot his cheek was, he must really be freezing.

Luffy’s hands wander to grip your chest through your tank top so hard you let out a yelp. He pulls it down and starts to greedily squeeze and knead your breasts. Your breath hitches when his fingerpads move back and forth on your already stiff and sensitive nipples.

When he leans forward and wraps his lips around one, you let out a gasp. His tongue swirls around your bundle of nerves and he starts to suck on it hungrily. Luffy is making you wet beyond belief—the suction on your nipple is feeling dangerously good. You’re on the verge of losing it, totally giving in to the nagging animalistic voice in your head that’s telling you to fuck him like crazy.

His erection is huge and hard as it grinds on your core. It feels good—no, he feels good. The noises he’s letting out add to the effect. Your core is throbbing and sopping wet.

“L-luffy,” you moan, finally, as he grazes your clit and sucks your nipple particularly hard. He lets out a muffled hum in response, vibrating your nipple. “Luffy, if you keep doing that, I’m gonna cum.”

He goes faster. He thinks that if he sees your face contort in bliss and hears you moan some more, it’ll fix him. He’s starting to feel better already with each hump. Maybe if he sees you cum, he’ll stop pulsing and his body will stop screaming at him. Maybe if you cum from his dry humps, he’ll be satiated. Maybe his fever will go away.

Luffy can hardly form cognizant, coherent thoughts like this, though. His mind can only focus on two things. First: you. Your pleasure. Your cunt. Your tits. Your smell. He wants to devour you. Second: he’s freezing cold. He needs warmth—twenty blankets, a cup of hot tea, a heating pad, something. He feels like he’s in a vat of ice water.

“Can’t stop,” he chokes his words out with effort, somehow picking up the pace of his cock humping your cunt through your pants. “Need more.”

He grinds your clit just right and it sends you over the edge of orgasm. As you spasm over his clothed cock and soak your panties in ecstasy, he never once lets up the pace. He pushes you back and forth on his erection and doesn’t pay attention to your whimpers from overstimulation.

You collapse forward into him, resting your head in the crook of his neck while he uses his grip on your hips for leverage to rut harder into you.

“Wanna put it in,” Luffy groans and his voice is deeper than usual. “L-lemme put it in. Wanna feel you. Need it. N-need you to—to help me feel better.”

You whisper a hum of affirmation in his ear and he picks you up. Fuck it. He already made you cum. He’s begging for it. You decide to let him ravage you.

Luffy basically throws you on the bed and rips your clothes off. You realize that the door to your cabin is wide open—anyone could walk by and see this. You don’t have the willpower to care right now.

You’re lying on the bed, looking up at the ceiling. Luffy grabs your wrists and holds them over your head with one hand, pinning you down on the bed. His other hand steadies his cock flat on your inflamed, wet folds. He starts to thrust forward a bit, rubbing himself on your cunt, teasing himself before he finally fucks away the ice-cold blood in his veins and stokes that roaring heat his belly.

His cock gliding over your clit feels too good. If he keeps it up, you’ll cum a second time. “Luffy, fuck,” your whimper makes his heart pound. Reality fogs up more and he can’t think straight. He rubs his cock flat on your lips until you’re arching your back, then lines his tip up with your weeping entrance.

When Luffy pushes his cock into your slit slowly, he groans the whole time. “So fuckin’ tight, ‘s like you’re swallowing me whole, fuck. Y-you’re so warm, feels good.”

He’s shaking and shivering still. After a moment of being bottomed out, he starts to fuck you at a measured pace. He’s entranced by the way your tits bounce. He’s still drooling shamelessly, his pupils are blown with lust and he’s sweating. His free hand gropes up for your tits and plays with your nipples. Every time you moan his name, he feels like he’s an animal.

“Nnnnggghhhh, fuck, fuck, you’re—you feel so slippery,” Luffy feverishly grinds his hips into yours, hitting your deep and sensitive spots just right. “Feels weird and hot in my stomach, like s-something’s gonna happen.”

“Luffy, it feels too good,” you keen his name and squirm. “’m gonna cum soon.”

“W-wanna see,” he chokes out an answer between breathless thrusts.

He brushes your hot and soft spot, and you once again are drowning in pleasure, toe-curling and delicious. You cum, squeezing his shaft and milking out as much precum as possible.

He sounds like he’s hyperventilating. He’s truly going crazy. He keeps fucking you through your orgasm and you start to squirm. The sight goads him on.

“More,” he groans. “Please, more.”

Luffy rocks his pelvis into yours. His abs and arms are muscly and defined, his hair is sweaty, his eyes are totally dilated, and he’s looking at you like he’s going to fuck you for hours.

When he feels your walls clench down on him, he starts to cum. He seizes up and his cock plunges into your cunt. “F-fuck, fuck, I’m gonna—I’m cumming, it—feels too good, feels so good, fuck.”

His thrusts are erratic while he pumps ropes of cum into you. He pauses and looks down at your cock-crazed face, closed eyes, and slack jaw. His cum is currently seeping out of your slit, coating the base of his shaft.

But even though he just came, his cock is already starting to pulse again. That one orgasm? It isn’t enough. Not nearly enough.

He feels better than he did before, but still not back to normal. The fire and ice in his veins still runs strong, he feels like he's buzzing, like he’s an animal looking for a mate.

You think that he’s had his fill until he starts thrusting again, just as hard as before. After a minute, he shifts you. Luffy pulls out and picks you up again, maneuvering you so you’re laying on your bed with your stomach touching the covers. He gets on top of you and—fuck, he’s heavy. And his skin is boiling hot. You can feel the sheen of sweat on his chest when it presses on your back.

He has you in prone bone now, spreading your thighs wide with one of his hands. When he finally presses his cock into you, your back arches. It feels much deeper than before—is he using his devil fruit powers, or is his cock just this big?

“Fuck,” he’s rasping in your ear. His husky voice goes straight to your throbbing core—god, he sounds hot right now. You can feel his hot breath. One of his hands is braced next to your head as his cock rolls into you. He’s hitting the perfect spot and it’s starting to feel so good that you’re seeing stars. “Your pussy—feels so, so warm and good, I think it’s working.”

You lose track of time while his cock caresses your sweet spots. Before you know it, you’re cumming again. You hardly have the energy to let him know what’s happening. Is it the aphrodisiacs making his performance this good, or does Luffy just know how to fuck? How is he this good in bed?

When you squirm and cream on Luffy’s cock for the second time, he reaches a hand under you and thumbs your clit. He draws circles on it and presses it like a button. It feels like an electric shock—he has neglected it until now but still managed to coax three orgasms out of you. And while you are mildly overstimulated, when his fingers start dancing over your clit it turns up the notch of pleasure inside of you.

“Luffy, fuck that feels good,” a sort of guttural moan escapes your lips and you can’t help but buck your hips up and back onto his cock. “Don’t stop. Fuck.”

You’re keening through the waves of pleasure that he’s pulling out from you while he rams you with his cock. His heavy grunts are like music in your ears—feral, low, and ravenous. Your captain is absolutely railing you right now, and you like it. He more than likes it.

“So tight and, ah, so warm inside, like—aaghhhh fuck—like you’re made for me.” He groans and his thighs shudder. Is he cumming again? How many times is this? Second? Third?

Your mind is in a haze. He’s devouring you like a rabid animal. How many orgasms will it take to fend off his fever? How many hours until the aphrodisiac cookies wear off?

In your haze, filth starts to slip out of your mouth.

“F-fuck me harder, captain—please,” you mewl, and you can feel just the slightest pause in Luffy’s thrusts, barely noticeable. “Your cock feels so fucking good.”

After his pause, he starts pressing his weight harder on top of you, moving his hips at an angle so his cock is literally ramming into your cervix. The sensation is overwhelming, to say the least—painful but so, so good. You’re gasping for air and it’s hard to breathe because he’s on top of you. He’s literally fucking you like he’s in heat.

“Say that again,” he grunts and thrusts with each word but he’s struggling to get them out because he’s barely breathing. “Say it.”

“Captain, fuck, y-your cock feels so good. Fuck, captain.”

He’s somehow going faster, bringing you to another cliff, another ledge of euphoria from which to free fall. His cock bullies your bundles of nerves and your cunt squelches with each pass.

“C-captain, Luffy, please, fuck.” You’re spasming under him again, cumming on his cock for, what was that, the fourth time? Maybe it was the fifth. You’ve lost count. You didn’t know it was possible to cum this many times. You’ve also lost track of what words are coming out of your mouth. “Cumming, I’m cumming, y-your cock ‘s too good, captain, fuck, fuck, fuck.”

He’s right after you, jerking his hips deep into yours and cumming inside again. There’s so much cum leaking out of you that Luffy’s shaft is obscured by milky white goop. There’s a sizable puddle of it underneath of you. It’s going to leave an unfortunate-colored stain on your bedsheets. You’ll cross that bridge when you get to it.

His hips are still bucking though. His cum just keeps… coming. It’s a visceral orgasm. It’s the final orgasm (for a brief refractory period). When he’s done shooting seed into you, he collapses on top of you.

It’s like you’re under a weighted blanket except its Luffy, he’s heavy as fuck, and his cock is in you. And damn, he’s sweaty.

But somehow this is the best sex you’ve ever had. And you have a sneaking suspicion that the night isn’t over yet.

When you protest and Luffy rolls off your back, you use all your strength to open your eyes and check on him. His chest rises and falls at a rapid pace, his eyes are closed, he’s still drooling but he looks decidedly better.

You bring a hand to touch his forehead again and he lets out another quiet whimper. He must be so sensitive still. Poor thing. But his fever is considerably better.

Sanji must have been right when he said there’s only one way to fix this aphrodisiac frenzy. You wonder what Sanji was saving those cookies for. The day you finally crawled into bed with him?

Pfffft. No, thank you. After round six or seven with Luffy, you’ll never look back. You truly didn’t expect your captain to fuck like this. Or to like being called captain when his cock is in you.

“Luffy, are you doing ok?”

He hums in response.

“Use your words. Luffy, are you doing okay?”

“Yeah. Feels a lot better.”

When his chest slows, he starts to sleep. You’re left on your bed with a puddle of cum under (and inside) of you, and your captain sound asleep like a rock next to you. And fuck, the door is still open.

Hopefully no one heard that. Even if they had heard, oh well. Too late now to stress over it.

You close the door and turn off the light. Then, you get cleaned up and put your pajamas back on.

Luffy may be sound asleep, but you shove him around so he’s at a decent angle. You fall asleep together on your bed, cuddling, and sticky with sweat (and cum).

Of course, no more than two hours later, Luffy is awake and his cock is throbbing again. He tries to touch himself and make the heat go away but it isn’t working. So… he wakes you up. And that’s how rounds eight, nine, and ten go.

When his fever finally goes away, he’s left with a long-lasting craving that he can only satiate one way: you.

It should go without saying, but the next day you literally cannot walk. You hobble around, trying to play it off like you slept weird or something. Sanji rubs the whole thing in your face.

“How was last night, angel?” His smirk is sly and smug, teasing and suggestive.

“Sanji. Please. Not right now.”

“Do you want me to get more of those cookies sometime? Maybe we can eat them next?” He winks and you balk.

“Fuck off, Sanji.”

The chef chuckles and saunters away. He’s never going to let you live that down.

thank you for reading!!! ive been feeling a certain way about luffy recently. its just his fucking muscles in wano that have me in a chokehold. muscle make brain go brrrrrrrrr.

here's my masterlist and my posting schedule for october!

i'm posting every day from now until halloween!

finally, trick or treat? (tumblr links)

[maybanksmusings]

THE WALLS ; JJ MAYBANK

SYNOPSIS ; when an unknown face appears in the outer banks searching for a father she's never met, she's unaware of how her life is about to be completely turned upside down.

WARNINGS ; jjmaybank x routledge!oc, strong language, depictions of violence, afab!reader, sexual content, mentions of abuse, drug and alcohol consumption, strangers to lovers, fast burn to slow burn, canon adjacent, not proofread.

AUTHORS NOTE ; changes are being made! see this post to learn more. to me, this part seems a little like a filler, but i want to explore veronica as a character and develop each relationship with each character as something more than a side character, not just honing in on her relationship with jj, which of course is a huge part of the story also.

part one. part two. part three.

when veronica begins to stir, the sun had long set. there was no way of knowing how long the pair had been asleep, all she knew was the lights of the chateau were off and there was a bright pink post it note stuck to jj’s head.

‘gone fishin’. jb pissed.’

pope signed off on the note, a small smiley face drawn inside the o of his name. veronica knew the pouges hadn’t actually gone fishing, that is was some sort of code jj would decipher when he came to.

in this moment, veronica was content. wrapped in the arms of the most beautiful person she’d ever seen.

what could only be described as a war was ongoing in her head. she wasn’t exactly one to believe in love at first sight, she thought this entire ‘spark’ thing was something made up by male authors to keep women reading their shitty romance books to keep them hooked, waiting for it to happen to them.

but then she met jj, and he was like a magnet. every time veronica was in his presence she was mesmerised, whenever he was gone she felt like all the colour was drained from the world.

there was only two problems.

there was a maximum of forty eight hours that they knew each other, add to that he was her brothers best friend, then add to that said brother made it crystal clear that inter-group dating was not allowed.

oh, and then the whole ‘nobody knows i’m his sister but us’ thing.

“you’re staring, baby” jj mumbled, his voice low and tired as he stirred beneath her “can’t say i blame you”

with a sarcastic scoff, veronica sits upright in the hammock, her legs laid out across the blonds lap “just admiring the drool on your face”

“aren’t you funny.”

comfortable silence follows, jj crosses his arms behind his head and blinks the sleep out of his eyes. even though she was staring off into the water, veronica could feel jj’s eyes on her.

“can i help you?” veronica quipped, a teasing lilt to her words as she face the boy in question “use your words, you’ll get there.”

unexpectedly, jj sighs and lets his head fall back “what am i doing?”

veronica knows he didn’t intent for her to hear him, but she did. she would be lying if she said she wasn’t disappointed, but she was even more disappointed in herself at the pang of sadness that hit her.

before she can say, or do, anything, jj is sat up a little straighter and speaking again.

“listen, you’re a really cool girl,” he pauses, shaking his head and starting again “you’re hot as shit, damn it!”

barely, veronica manages to mask her giggle with a cough.

“don’t ask me how or why, but i gotta tell you i’m super into you.” he blurts out “yeah, makes no fuckin’ sense, we barely know each other, no pouge on pouge macking, you ain’t feeling me like that-“

her body is moving before her brain can even comprehend what she’s doing, chipped nail polish framing blond hair as she held his face in her hands and pressed their lips together.

then, her brain kicks in, and veronica jumps back like she’d just been burnt.

“fuck, jay i’m so sorry. i wasn’t thinking,”

seconds pass agonisingly slow and veronica can’t help but think about just how badly she had just fucked up.

but she doesn’t get to overthink for long.

a calloused hand tangled in long, brown hair. the other gripping her waist like it was a lifeline, helping her into his lap as his tongue makes its way into her mouth.

the kiss is messy, it’s desperate. like two people drowning, taking in the other like they were air. hands cling to whatever they can, afraid if they let go it would all be over.

any reservations veronica may have had about ‘the spark’ were discarded, undermined even, this wasn’t a spark, it was fireworks.

but fireworks don’t last forever, and when the sound of john b’s rickety van can be heard drawing closer. the newfound excitement being dulled by the shadow known as a protective older brother, a protective best friend.

by the time the missing pouges pour out of the twinkie, veronica and jj are in much less compromising positions, now sitting beside each other trading menial conversation about the earlier events of the day.

“welcome back to the land of the living,” kiara teases, a yellow vape coming up to her mouth as she took a hit “you two were out cold.”

instinctively, veronica’s hand shot out, wordlessly pleading for a hit of her vape. with a groan, kie handed it over.

veronica lets her head fall back against the hard oak of the tree behind her, relishing the feeling of her first hit of nicotine in two days. she had a vape when she left home, but it died before she even made it to the outer banks and being broke meant she couldn’t even go buy a replacement.

“you could’ve woke us up, y’know” jj defended, trying his hardest to act as if nothing happened, reminding himself to stop staring.

pope scoffs, not missing the longing stares sent the brunettes direction but purposefully ignoring them “we tried, it nearly cost us our lives.”

unamused, john b walks past the rest of the group in silence. when he gets to the door of the chateau he looks over his shoulder and nods for veronica to follow.

the girl is suddenly more attentive, climbing over the human embodiment of a golden retriever and padding her way into the house behind the older of the two.

“does the name redfield mean anything to you?” john b questions, passing a beer from the fridge and getting one for himself “like, the surname.”

veronica is quiet, her finger tracing the rim of the can as she goes through every crevice of her brain in search of any name even remotely close, there’s only one.

“chris redfield.” she answers with a nod, popping the tab of the can and taking a swig “but i don’t get how he’s involved.”

“why not? who is he!?”

“a video game character.”

with a huff of annoyance john b drags a chair across the kitchen to sit beside veronica, unscrewing his compass and placing it down on the table. the name ‘redfield’ is carved into the metal.

“we went back to the boat, found a motel key, whatever.” john b shrugs off the rest of their findings, more invested in whoever this redfield person was. “then i remembered when you showed me that note, the one in the compass. then i found this, figured you would know more than i do.”

veronica gently traced the carved metal, it was definitely their fathers scrawl, she’d memorised it from the note she read over and over and over.

it couldn’t be a coincidence, her fathers note asking her to meet, the matching compasses. now this?

“if i’m going to help you, i need to know..” she trailed off, biting at the edges of her nails as she wondered how to phrase her next question “does this have anything to do with dad dying?”

“he’s not dead.” john b’s voice is louder, stern. then his face softens and he tears his gaze away from the compass and to the floor “sorry, just, i know he’s out there. and this? this is proof.”

“john b, i get it.” the younger routledge speaks slowly, trying not to tread on any toes “you’re not the only one who wants him to be alive, that needs to see him. but i don’t see how this—”

“dad found the royal merchant. four hundred million dollars in gold, and he found it. he’s trying to tell us where to find it.”

veronica sighs, fingers rubbing at her tired eyes as she once again tried to think of any connection to any redfield. when it came to family, she only knew the bare minimum, her fathers name and her mothers maiden name.

what she did know, however, was the royal merchant. as a child her father sent her maps and books on birthdays and christmases without fail, until one day they stopped.

“you’ve got books and stuff, right?” she finally asked, not wanting to get either her or john b’s hopes up. a nagging feeling was telling her their dad was alive, but she knew he wouldn’t just up and abandon his son.

the walls of her fathers study feel like they’re closing in on her, john b let her inside and left her to it. veronicas hand ghosts over the framed maps and dusty books. blueprints of ships with her fathers messy scrawl written randomly around the paper.

there’s pictures of john b littered all over the office, all different life stages, a few feature jj and veronica can’t help but smile at the photo of two little boys holding a fish between them.

on the desk there’s a picture frame, immediately veronica recognises her mother, years younger and a gentle hand placed on her tummy. in the same frame, there’s an ultrasound that veronica almost bypassed as john b, but when she looked at the date it was a long time after he was born.

it was her ultrasound.

it was her in her moms tummy, framed and proudly placed right on her fathers desk.

everything comes back at once. finding the note, and in turn the years worth of letters her mother had hidden from her. the dateline special with john b pleading for information about his father, their father. the fight with her mother, packing a bag in the middle of the night and making her way to the address stored safely inside her compass.

the tears don’t register until they hit the glass of the frame, the last few weeks of pent up anger, sadness and hurt bubbling over from the flame that single photo sparked.

her dad loved her.

for years she’d heard about her absent father, then the absent father that passed when she was a baby. the father who didn’t want the responsibility of a child and ran away once he found out.

but the letters, the compass, this picture? john routledge loved the daughter he was forbidden from seeing, from the second he knew about her he loved her.

and now he was dead.

a sudden wave of anger rushes from her head to her toes, glass shattering when she throws the dusty old frame against the wall with a scream. papers fly and maps fall from the walls as she turns her fathers office into her own personal rage room.

the racket coming from the small room shakes the chateau, so it’s no surprise when the pouges come crashing through the door.

the pouges eyes briefly flash with fear when their eyes land on the destruction caused by the newest arrival, but it’s quickly replaced by a familiar sadness when veronica crumples to the ground, screaming as loud as her lungs would allow for them to get out.

they don’t know what’s wrong, but it doesn’t matter. veronica was now considered a friend, and they gathered that’s what she needed right about now.

jj is the first to enter, drawing closer slowly as if he were being cautious “it’s okay, ronnie.” he mutters softly, dodging shattered glass as he knelt beside her “we’re here, we got you.”

kiara, john b and pope are close behind, wrapping veronica in what could only be described as a group hug until her tears subsided.

taglist!

@ren-ni @marleymarleymarleymarley @miidollaasignnn @rainingcecilias @tanyaherondale @xspideyhollandx @sluterainterlude @loverofmarsss @xoxo-ada @gigistalked @genderlessmenance

[sinofwriting]

I'm A Matchmaker, Baby - Ollie Bearman, Charles Leclerc/Max Verstappen

Words: 4,123 Summary: After Saudi Arabia, Charles fully takes Ollie under his wing, he is his son after all, which leads to Ollie having dinner with the Monaco royal family and meeting the most beautiful girl in the world, the princess of Monaco. Note(s): This is also a Lestappen fic, Max and Charles get together and are together in this fic. They ended up playing a huge part in this fic, so be warned. Also the title is what it is because I can just hear Charles say it.

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Charles had always wanted children. He had wanted children nearly as long as he had wanted to be a Ferrari Formula One driver. He had never expected to be a father this young. But he was and his heart was full because of it.

He wasn’t Ollie’s father on paper or biologically, but what did that matter when it came to the heart and in Charles’ heart, he is Ollie’s father. He already felt something for the young driver, but then Saudi Arabia happened and Ollie had followed him around the Ferrari garage, all polite as he asked his questions, eyes filled with awe and determination. Something had settled in him then. The realization hit only after the race as he waited for the press conference and saw the number of tweets greeting him.

They all were praising Ollie, comparing the two, saying how much Ollie and him were alike. It wasn’t the first time he had heard such things. Arthur had remarked it once, so had Jock, but he hadn’t thought much of it. But now as he scrolled and scrolled and saw the comparisons that fans had made, he couldn’t help but compare them as well. They were quite similar. From the tracks they both liked and performed well at, the love for Ferrari, they both couldn’t cook for shit apparently, and there was even more.

The thing that really got him, a well of fondness striking his heart, was Ollie already talking to someone about this weekend and how when jumping into Carlos’ car for FP3 he struggled with the wheel because he always used Charles’ set up at the factory. It was like it never occurred to him in the near four years he had been with the Ferrari academy to even think of trying another driver’s set up.

“He did well.” A shoulder brushes against his, tehir voice just barely above a murmur.

Charles closes out of his twitter, smiling. “He did very well. Better than Ferrari was expecting.”

He huffs out a laugh, the press of their shoulders becoming firmer. “He really does take after you then.”

A pink blush forms on his cheeks, but he can’t help but beam, pride so quickly filling him. He only seemed to have Ollie for a day, but he would happily kill anyone and anything that would hurt him. “He does. He was amazing during the race, no? Finishing seventh.”

“It’s too bad Lewis is a sure thing. Ollie already seems to be ready for the Ferrari seat.”

If it was anyone else, he would think that they were fishing and if it was anyone else he wouldn’t bother responding, but it was Max. Max had never shared things he said, not when they were matters of the heart or private or even just a bit personal.

“There are things in place. But Ollie would like to do a year in the back or midfield at least before stepping up.”

Max hums, eyebrows furrowed, considering. “Even after this? And what if Carlos isn’t ready for Australia?”

Charles hesitates, eyes darting around, as he thinks of the meeting he has to attend after this to discuss just that.

“Later?” Max offers.

“Later.” He agrees, nodding.

“Nightcap in my room?”

The word yes is on the tip of his tongue, he hates the idea of passing it up, but he shakes his head. “I want to spend some time with Ollie. It was a big day for him. I already plan on getting dinner with him, talking, making sure he is all okay. If you are still up after, perhaps I could stop by?”

Max smiles, eyes crinkling. “You are welcome anytime, of course, Charlie. I’ll have a spare key waiting for you at the front desk or you can always just knock.”

“Thank you, Max.”

Max’s smile grows bigger and he squeezes Charles’ shoulder, once, twice, then three times. “Of course.”

—

Charles leans against the door frame watching as Andrea leads Ollie through the last of his cooldown stretches. His neck was surely hurting and it would be worse tomorrow, but he could see the sheen of cream that Andrea had used on him at the beginning of his F1 career, still did if it had been a practically hard race. And if he knew Andrea which he did, he already knew that there was an extra one in his bag to give to Ollie.

“Hello.” He greets when Ollie finishes his last stretch, straightening with a small groan.

“Charles!” Ollie grins, eyes brightening.

He catches Andrea shaking his head from the corner of his eye, but there’s a fond smile on the older man’s face. “I’ve finished with my meeting, are you ready for dinner?”

Charles fears for a moment his head will come off with how eagerly Ollie shakes it.

They go to a small restaurant, Italian, that Andrea had found for Charles.

Siding into the booth seats, Charles watches, amused, as Ollie looks around with interest, fingers fiddling with his menu.

“I’ve been coming here since the race was introduced. It is nice, no?”

Ollie nods, “it is. Reminds me a bit of…” he trails off and Charles knows what he’s thinking.

“A bit. The owner, her mother, is Italian.”

“Ah.”

Opening the menu, Charles eyes glimpse over it already knowing what he’s going to get, fingers drumming against the table for a moment.

“You did very well during the race, Ollie.”

The boy’s face turns red, his hand rubbing at the back of his neck. “I could have done better.”

Charles shakes his head. “You got one free practice session, managed to qualify ahead of a seven time world champion and a McLaren. You didn’t damage the car and finished in the points. You did fantastic. And you had to get used to a new wheel set up.”

Ollie sputters a bit at the last part.

“It’s just, why would I-” he cuts himself off.

“Why would you what?” Charles asks, staring at him.

“Why would I bother with Carlos’ when yours is there? I mean he’s fine, been nothing nice to me, but you are Ferrari. I wanted to join the academy partially because of you. You’re one of the best of the current generation. And you always let me, let anyone of us bother you with questions.”

“It’s never a bother.” Charles corrects as he thinks of the other Ferrari Driver Academy drivers that sometimes message him with a question or always ask when they see him if he can look over their lap times for a second, which he of course does if he isn’t busy.

“And that! You’re so nice about it. I know Dino once messaged you at three am on accident drunk and you sent a car to get him.”

Charles frowns, “Of course I did. He was in a country he had never been in before and drunk enough to text me. I wouldn’t have been able to sleep if I didn’t know he got back to his hotel okay.”

Ollie groans and then he’s leaning forward, head hitting the table with a loud thunk that has Charles hissing and pushing at Ollie’s shoulder until he raises his head enough for Charles to look at his forehead.

It’s slightly red and Charles frowns, moving his hand to rub gently at the center of the redness.

“Ollie,” he scolds. “You have to be careful. Your neck has gone through enough strain today. And I don’t know if you should risk hitting your head.”

“It’s fine, dad.” Ollie mumbles, pushing Charles hand away to rub at the spot himself before turning an impressive shade of red.

Charles watches, a beam on his face, as Ollie tries to speak again, saying the word dad again before managing to say the first part of his name.

“You get this from your uncle Lorenzo.”

And that just sends Ollie into another sputter of words that don’t make sense.

He drops off Ollie at his hotel room a few hours later, giving him a hug and putting more cream on his neck, before reminding him that Andrea or him will do it again in the morning before or after breakfast depending on how his neck is feeling.

He stops at his own hotel room to grab his carry-on, his regular suitcase already with Joris before going up two floors and knocking on a hotel room door.

“Charles.” Max greets, eyes crinkling as he smiles before he draws him for a hug.

“Hello.” He presses a kiss to Max’s cheek and ignores the way his own cheeks turn pink as well Max’s from the gesture.

Stepping into the room, he moves further in, setting his carry on by the bed, before collapsing on it, his lips stretching into a smile as he thinks of his dinner with Ollie.

“You are very happy.” Max comments, laying next to him.

“I am. I am very happy.” He breathes. “I’m a dad, Max.” Saying the words out loud, makes his grin grow.

“You-” Max coughs, “you’re a what?”

“A dad, a papa. I do not know the Dutch word for it.”

Max says the Dutch word for dad instantly, like he always does when Charles makes a comment about not knowing the Dutch word for something. “Thank you.” He says, repeating what Max said.

Max clears his throat after a moment and Charles turns his head to look at Max and is surprised to see pain in the blue eyes he likes looking into so much and there’s an unsure expression on Max’s face. His body is still turned towards Charles, but he’s closed off, arms over his chest.

“What is wrong?” Charles asks, concern dripping from his words.

“How old?”

He blinks at him, struggling with the question. “How old is what?”

“The baby. How old is the baby? I mean has it been born?”

Charles stares at him, slightly dumbfounded, because what language was Max speaking? It couldn’t be English.

Then it hits him, his breath of happiness, of him saying he’s a dad.

“No, no!” He scrambles upwards before leaning over Max, hands cupping the barely older’s face. “It is not a baby. I’m talking about Ollie, chérie. I am his dad. Twitter was going on and on about it and then at dinner, oh, Max.” He sighs. “He called me dad.”

The hurt vanishes from Max’s face at his words, cheeks a touch pink from the way Charles is touching him, from the name he called him.

“You two are alike.” He offers before softening further as Charles’ thumbs start to stroke his cheekbones. “I’m sure you are an amazing dad.”

Charles beams at him. “I hope so. Ollie had to learn Carlos’ wheel setup.”

Max snorts at the whisper. “I see Ollie is part of the Charles Leclerc is the best club.” Charles flushes, “well you would know.”

He smiles, his fingers finding Charles’ waist. “Yes, I would. It would be poor if the president of the club didn’t know all the members.”

“Max.”

“Charles.”

“Kiss me finally.”

The sheer want on Max’s face has Charles letting out a whine.

“I won’t keep you a secret if we do that Charles. I can’t cross that line.”

Charles shakes his head, “I would never ask you to.” And he finally says, reveals, let outs, the conversation he had before signing his new contract, his one of many non-negotiables. “Ferrari knows. John threw his full support behind me after I called him. They ask for three to six months, just to get things in place, protection. I know, it’s still a secret, but I just have to message them and they set things in motion.” He rambles.

“Charles,” Max breathes, cutting him off and shaking his head. “You talked to Ferrari about us?”

He ducks his head, flushing. “I’m tired of not having all of you, of not getting to say that I’m yours and you are mine. I want more than glances and fleeting touches. I want to be consumed by you. I couldn’t do another year of not knowing what it felt like to feel your hands on my bare skin, to feel your lips on mine. I couldn’t do it.”

Max stares up at him, throat bobbing and there’s a gentle pressure on the back of his neck. “I love you so much.”

And Charles is unable to respond, the lips on his preventing it and he can’t even try to be angry about it as he happily kisses, gets kissed by, Max for the first time.

—

Charles knows that having booked a private room for breakfast the next morning makes it seem like what happened with Max was planned, but thankfully Max knows him. He knows that Charles most mornings on race weekends likes to have breakfast in private, especially if he still is there the next day after the race. Wants to start his day with some peace and be surrounded by his choice of people. Max has never made it to one of these breakfasts before and this is Ollie’s first as well.

Entering the room, and it was nice that only did the hotel have a good restaurant in it but also let you rent out rooms just to eat, hand in hand with Max, he smiles at Ollie, spotting him first, giving Max’s hand a squeeze before letting it go and moving to pull Ollie into a quick hug.

He nearly presses bisous to his cheeks, as he does with all the people he thinks of as family or close to it in greeting, but he doesn’t know if Ollie would be comfortable with it, so he settles for just squeezing him a bit tighter.

Andrea gets greeted with a squeeze to the shoulder as the trainer sips at a cup of coffee, Joris the same, though he has to dodge an elbow to his side, which makes him laugh.

He goes to Pierre after, giving him bisous and getting them in return before his friend looks behind him where Max must be, his eyebrow raising slightly.

Charles flushes, “we are together now, Pierre.”

“Well, I had no doubts about that. You are glowing. I just can’t tell if it’s from finally getting together with Max, becoming a parent, or both.”

“Both. Have you spoken to Ollie?”

Pierre shakes his head.

“You’ll love him and you can go maybe get a head start on being his favorite uncle behind Arthur.”

He scoffs, “as if Arthur could be a better uncle than me.”

“Well, he has a head start.”

Pierre mutters under his breath as he heads over to where Ollie is awkwardly standing and Charles returns to Max’s side, intertwining their fingers and pressing a quick kiss to his cheek.

“Pierre gunning for favorite uncle?”

Charles smiles at the question, unable to help himself from pressing another kiss to Max’s cheek. “Yes.

He’ll get a leg up on Lorenzo, but Arthur is fairly ahead of them both.”

He hums, turning his head to capture Charles’ lips in a short kiss. “At least Vic will be favorite Aunt. Two of them will have to deal with not being the favorite.”

“That’ll be bloody.” Charles scoffs, he still had a scar on his lower back from when Lorenzo and him had roughhoused.

Their mother had been distraught when she had seen the blood, horrified. Their father hadn’t been happy about it but had easily come to terms with being an accident. Poor Arthur had refused to leave him alone, clinging to him as he had been there, though playing on their shared DS.

Jules though… despite having been Lorenzo’s best friend, he had been taken with Charles as soon as he first held him. It had been a joke between Jules’ parents and his to make Jules his godfather, but Jules had latched on to the idea, despite Lorenzo’s protests about Jules liking a gross baby, and by the time Charles was a year old, Jules happily held the title of godfather to Charles.

“You know you won’t win favorite dad with Ollie, right?”

Max smiles, soft and slightly amused. “I know.” His eyes flicker over to where Pierre is talking to Ollie,

Andrea and Joris having their own discussion, though all of their eyes flicker to where Charles and Max are standing.

“And you are okay with that?” There’s a hint of disbelief in his voice.

“Charles,” Max laughs. “You’re the only one I’ve ever been okay with winning instead of me. And I, of course, can’t be upset that Ollie thinks the world of you, and will see you as his favorite.”

The barely younger has to blink back tears, “You say the sweetest things, cherie.”

“Only for you, Charlie. Only for you.”

—

“Are you sure I should be coming with you?”

Charles sends him a look and Ollie can’t help but duck his head. “It is for family and I have a good relationship with them. I could bring fifty people and say they are family and it would be okay. And you are family.” He gently cuffs Ollie’s ear. “Max will be coming too.”

“Even after?”

“Yes, even after.”

Ollie doesn’t bother asking how Charles has a custom suit that fits him perfectly, it’s just who Charles and even Max are, though Max doesn’t do any clothes shopping, it’s either sponsored clothing or now things that Charles buys him.

In the car ride to the palace, Max tells him the names of the royal family. And Ollie repeats them over and over again in his head.

“Why won’t Gabriella and Jacques be there?” Ollie asks again, thinking of the youngest two children.

“This is technically a publicity dinner, though it is private. They are only nine, Albert and Charlene are very protective. Next time we are in Monaco there will be a lunch and they will be there for that.”

“But Y/N will be there?”

“Yes.” Charles nods. “She is your age and this is private, but she is not set to inherit the throne.”

“But, a girl could inherit. Gabriella is.” Ollie remembers that much for Max’s rambles about different royal families and their workings.

“Yes, though she is behind Jacques since he was born first, though they are twins. Y/N isn’t interested in being the heir apparent, she currently does such duties and is willing to step up if neither of her siblings want to take the title.”

“Jacques is slightly keen on it, I imagine that Gabriella will be the one to take it.” Max chimes in.

Ollie watches amused as Charles and Max begin to playfully bicker about the siblings though it’s clear that Charles thinks the same as Max.

The car rolls to a stop and Ollie has to take a deep breath before exiting the car after Charles. He watches as the prince greets him warmly, giving him a hug before Charlene does and then Ollie’s breath catches a girl, his age, envelopes Charles into a hug.

They’ve clearly met and know each other well with the way Charles beams at her and her back and he can just hear Charles asking her about something before his attention is drawn away by Max introducing him to Prince Albert.

Ollie ducks his head, extending his hand out. “It’s an honor to meet you, Prince Albert.”

The prince lets out a chuckle, shaking his hand. “You as well, Ollie. But you can just call me Albert. No need for formalities, not when you are Charles’ son.”

Ollie flushes at the words, but flashes a pleased grin.

“And Max, it’s always good to see you.” Albert cheers, bringing in the world champion for a hug.

“You as well, Albert.”

Charlene greets him much quieter than Albert, though she immediately insists on him not referring to her as princess. “It is lovely to meet you. Charles and Max have both talked about you.”

“Oh, thank you. They’ve both talked about you as well, you and your family.”

“Max and Charles are kind.”

He nods in agreement.

“Ollie,” Charles calls and he instantly turns to look at him. “I want you to meet, Princess Y/N.”

“Please, just call me Y/N.” She immediately says with a shake of her head, before extending a hand out.

“It’s nice to meet you, Ollie.”

He can feel himself turning red as they shake hands, her eyes on him and even just the slightest touch of their fingers and palms. “You as well.”

—

“So Ollie,” Charles murmurs, the words nearly a slur from sleep and the many drinks he had.

Max pulls Charles tighter, nosing at his wet hair, happy that even this drunk it was easy to get Charles to take one, get rid of the stench of the clubs they had been in. “Yeah, he definitely likes Y/N.”

“Oh, thank god. She clearly likes him. I mean did you see her at dinner and then at Jimmy’z? She was so flustered. She confused her silverware. She hasn’t done that once in the near eight years I’ve known her.”

“Charles,” Max warns, already knowing where this is headed and he just knows he’s not going to hear the end of this when they wake up in a few hours, hungover and eager to indulge in greasy food before a workout. “Don’t play matchmaker.”

He can feel his pout against his collarbone, before he’s moving until he’s entirely on top of him and Max lets out a silent oof as Charles’ elbows knock against his ribs, but his hands follow along, eagerly wrapping his arms around him and pulling him until he’s pressed completely against him.

“But babe.”

Max flushes at the pet name. “Go to sleep, Charles. Think about it in the morning.” His eyes slip shut as he realizes what he just said, a silent fuck leaving his mouth

Charles wiggles against him, a beam pressed against his cheek. “I knew you’d help me! Yes, we will talk after we sleep. I’m thinking a lot of flowers and my yacht. They’ll love it.”

“Mhmm.” Max says, “let’s go to bed.”

“Okay. Love you, chérie.”

“Love you too.”

—

Stepping onto the yacht, Ollie gives a smile to the older gentleman that Charles hires to drive the yacht when he’s not feeling up to it or knows he’s going to be drinking.

“Hi Nicholas.”

“Good afternoon, Ollie.” His lips twitch into a smile. “Your father has asked that you go below until we are at sea.”

“He has a surprise for me, doesn’t he?”

Nicholas shrugs, “I’m unaware of any surprise.”

Ollie groans that was definitely a yes.

Despite that, he goes below deck, settling nicely into the hammock that is there despite the much better and cozier one that is above.

It’s over thirty minutes before Charles sends him a text telling him to come up.

Getting out of the hammock, he jogs up the stairs and over to the part of the deck where they always eat. He nearly skids to a stop however when he sees a massive amount of flowers and his breath catches, the princess.

“Princess Y/N, I had no idea.” He runs a hand through his hair and tries to not think about the t-shirt he is wearing.

She quickly stands, nearly tipping forward, but he quickly grabs her, keeping her upright. She smiles,

“Ollie, it’s nice to see you again. Did Charles message you about lunch as well?”

He smiles back at her, heart beating a little faster. “Yeah. Have you seen him?”

Her eyebrows press together, “I thought he was down below. That’s what Nicholas said.”

“Nicholas told me to wait down below until we were at sea. Charles texted me telling me to come up here.”

Ollie’s cheeks flush and his hands that were still resting on her drop, something he can’t help but mourn a little. “I think I know why he isn’t here, but we are.”

“Oh?”

He nearly gulps, hands feeling a little sweaty. “At the dinner, I was a bit flustered.”

She lets out a small laugh. “Most people are at dinner with my parents, especially my father.”

“I was nervous.” He tells her. “But, I was flustered because of you. I mean, you’re so beautiful.”

“Oh.” She blinks before her head ducks down. “I was flustered as well.”

A smile pulls at his lips at the quiet whisper. “Really?”

“Yes. I mean, I used my table fork instead of my salad fork. I haven’t done that since I was maybe ten.”

“I really made you flustered.”

“Unbelievably so.” She laughs.

“Shall we have this lunch that Charles put together? Maybe plan another lunch or dinner for after this?”

“I’d love that.”

[last-words-ofashootingstar]

Hope you’re doing well especially with the personal matters that are going on in your life! Hope you feel better and I hope things calm down for you sooner rather than later! 🖤 happy to see you back though!

I’ve been thinking more and more about how Siren!San would be as a mate (if you don’t feel like writing this that’s totally fine! 🖤🖤🖤)

Being Siren!San's Mate

❥Siren Choi San x gn reader

➯a/n: thank you 🫶🫶 i hope my little ramblings of being siren sans mate are enjoyable !

▼・ᴥ・▼ (✯◡✯)genre: headcanons, fantasy

ಠ_ಠwarning/content: mentions of kidnapping, fantasy body transformations, fated soulmates, not proof read

⁂perm taglist: @stvrfir3 @tunaasan @marievllr-abg

Sannie canonically has blonde hair in Shells, and I don't know if I've mentioned his tail color but I think it would be a pale pink. That in mind, he's a shallow water siren as apposed to a deeper water siren, because he blends in better. (Unlike Hongjoong with red hair and fluctuating tail color, who blends in with the darker waters)

That most likely is the way he meets his mate, and not a wreck or attack. Just his mate swimming a few miles off shore and he catches a whiff and then they're gone *poof*

San, in any universe, shape, or form, is a family man so he's like an excited puppy: swims around in circles at the pool entrance of his den until his mate wakes up.

When his mate wakes up and is inevitably like YO WTF DAWG, he's calm and collected even though his heart is about to jump out of his chest. He won't crowd his mate *cough cough hongjoong* because he's deathly afraid of sending them into shock from his mark.

That being said, he's still incredibly clingy-

Angel in Shells is a lucky woman 🙏(besides the kidnapped and turned into a siren part) because let me tell you Siren!San is not letting a single hair on his mates body be hurt or even uncomfortable.

Too cold? Boom- fire. Too hot? Boom- cooling lotion. Sad? He'll sing a song! Angry? Well that's okay, you can hit his chest and cry until you tire yourself out.

That's par for the course for most sirens with their human mate I think, but San takes it seriously. He'd slap a fish if it looked at you the wrong way and yell at seaweed that spooked you on your first trip into the water. (ex. not wanting Angel to touch Joongs mate because he doesn't want her to get sick, and comforting her)

He's a lot more in tune with his emotions than you'd think, he knows it's 'okay' to be exited but he also knows that you're going through a huge shock and so he lets out his excitement by talking to you. Whether you listen or not, it really doesn't matter.

And it also doesn't matter what he's talking about- though he makes it a point to avoid talking about things that make your heart beat irregular. He sticks to tame things at first, like the tribe and how they work and his own family and his favorite spots to sunbathe just under the surface of the water (promising to take you to all of them).

He tells his mate what's to come, unlike Hongjoong who dropped his moms lore and then shut that shit down 😭

Once you start transforming, he's nearly suffocating with watching your process in pure awe.

The first time he sees his mates tail?? He's thanking the Huntress for every little moment that lead him here.

If it matches his like some mates do, whew boy prepare to be smooched to death. (Prepare to be smooched to death either way actually)

The first time you go hunting together, his cheeks are sore from all the smiling he's doing, he wants to teach you anything and everything there is- and he will in due time.

One little detail I think really fits Siren!San is that every night before bed, even when he slept on the floor in those first few weeks to give you the comfort of his nest, he'd blow on your wrist to see his signature appear- ecstatic every time knowing that you were fated for him.

The first night you do it back, both of your scales turning pink when your name mimics his, he nearly dies of pure bliss.

[monakisu]

rating oil paintings i did in high school based on their likability (to Me) ⊙▂⊙

light study 💡 - the earliest one out of all of these bcuz i technically painted it in middle school but then went back in HS to add the seagulls and boat so i could fit it into the theme of my AP art portfolio LMAOOO but still one of my favorites, which is sorta sad cuz it’s so old… 9/10

filial love - honestly didn’t care for this one very much because it was meant to just be more fodder for my AP portfolio but turns out my mom likes it a lot!! she says it reminds her of “the lion of judah ✝️” (whoever that is) so i was happy to give it to her! she displays it in her room so her fondness really carries this one’s rating: 10/10

play nice with your brother!! 🐻‍❄️ - i like this one a lot! because it’s one of the only paintings my hardass art teacher let me use neon colors on (or at least as neon as u can get with oil paint). usually he just paints over my colors to make them grayer. that guy… otherwise this one is just not very interesting. 8/10

koi pond 🎏 - PRIME EXAMPLE OF WHAT I MEAN when he paints over my stuff with gray!!! i was so excited to paint this one and added all sorts of flair that i like—pink dots as leaf highlights, super detailed colorful water—AND THEN HE JUST WENT AND SMEARED ALL MY DETAILS 💀💀💀 so i Hate this one and avoid looking at it as much as possible. 0/10 below it is a version from a diff angle that i did in an hour with shitty free acrylic verrryyy recently in college, and u can just see how i went ham on the colors right?! eugh. what could’ve been… 🪦

with heavy heart ❤️ - a pretty big old lady (18x24”). i feel obligated to like her because she won me the congressional competition for my district so i got to go to the capitol to see her framed there and briefly meet my stale white bread representative but HONESTLY all i can think about is how hideous my makeup was at the time and i get upset. 🙁 i do think this granny is very pretty though!! 7/10

my ocean blue 🪼 - this one im not sure if i like it or only tolerate it. i just wanted to paint a super colorful coral reef!! "🐠🪸🫧" you know?? but my mom and teacher said it Needed a message for ~intrigue~ so they brainstormed together (without me) and made me add this random ass child with a VR headset smack dab in the middle… something about cyberreality? IDK i just want her ass gone so badly. i also never got around to finishing the stripes on that fish in the front but nobody calls me out on it so it's whatever 🤷‍♂️ LOL 4/10

radial self portrait 🎯 - HUGE DEVIATION IN STYLE not only bcuz this one’s gouache instead of oil but also because i got to paint without an old man (art teacher) hovering over my shoulder!!! 😸 it was my first time painting something super stylized and i realized that painting can actually be Not Agonizing!!! 😸😸 this was at my summer camp where we had to come up with a radial pattern using a compass (i hate that little pointy shit) and then combine it with our self portrait. it’s me having a headache! i painted this in a single stressful sleepless night because i have HORRIFIC time management when i’m left alone so it’s pretty sloppy. also at the time i had those blonde e-girl bangs hahaha… i still like this one a lot!! i was just SO happy i didn't have to go photorealistic AND i could use my favorite colors (mainly hot pink)!!! 10/10 😸

overall my high school painting in experience was spent beefing with my art teacher and inhaling paint fumes. sort of miserable honestly -_-

[4ttack-ur-heart]

Cherry Chapstick

Pairing: Armin x reader

Warnings: none.

Summary: Armin refuses to let you use his chapstick. No worries, you have other ideas on how to keep your lips from getting chapped.

(also just pretend chapstick is canon in the aot universe for the sake of the fic 😭)

Another long and grueling day of training was finishing up. The sun was setting through the huge forest of trees.

“Alright, trainings over! Rest up and be ready to head back in 15 minutes.” The squad leader said with his barking voice.

Your squad leader liked doing various training sessions with just your squad, something about strengthening the bond and making it easier to tag team during expeditions.

Landing on one of the branches to catch your breath, you sat against the bark let your body slouch for the first time that day.

“Tired?”

Looking up at the voice, Armin was standing in front of you. His new shorter blond locks shifting gently in the breeze as his pretty blue eyes locked on your figure. He was one of your closest friends. The friendship was honestly ideal with him giving you the guidance that you needed while you encouraged him when he was feeling insecure.

You nodded at him through half-lidded eyes and a lazy smile. “I’m so glad we have a day off tomorrow, I’ll probably spend it sleeping.”

Armin returned a smile at your words. “You’re almost there, (y/n). I’m sure your bed misses you too.” While you laughed at him, Armin squatted down next to you.

“What do you got planned tomorrow?” You asked and leaned your head against the tree. He pulled his green cloak tighter around his shoulders when the breeze kicked in.

“Probably go out into the valley and find a nice place to read.”

“By yourself? What about Eren and Mikasa?” You raised an eyebrow. The trio was pretty much inseparable.

Armin waved off your question with his hand. “They wanted to go into the city and I’m tired of third-wheeling. It wasn’t much fun as kids and still isn’t now.”

Nodding your head, you gazed once more at the sun just about to set. The orange hues casting over the green plains.

Armin finally sat down on the branch, his leg brushing up against yours. “God, I can’t stand this weather.” He muttered and started to fish for something out of his pocket.

With curious eyes, you saw him pull out a small tube. Chapstick? He uncapped it and gently spread it on his lips.

Armin chuckled when he caught you staring at him. “What? My lips are chapped.”

“I can see that.” You could also see his plump pink lips all shiny from the substance. “What flavor is it?”

“Cherry.” He pocketed the chapstick.

You inched over to him. Cherry was your favorite flavor, a timeless classic that forever held your heart. You were about to ask him for some when he seemed to have read your thoughts and immediately shut you down.

“No, you can’t have any.”

Instantly shocked at his words, your mouth was agape and you crossed your arms with a pout. “What, why?”

Honestly, you couldn’t care less… well maybe you cared a little bit. But being petty and dramatic was more fun however, especially in front of Armin.

“(Y/n), don’t take this the wrong way, but anything you touch immediately disappears.”

Ok, now you cared a lot a bit. “No it doesn’t!”

“Oh, you defended yourself real quick there, huh? Alright, tell me where Sasha’s hairbrush is.” Armin had a smile on his face as he rested his arm on his propped up knee. Sasha lent you her brush one day and it was never seen again. She made you buy her a new one the next day.

Your silence was the answer he needed.

“Maybe you know where Mikasa’s training gloves are?”

Again, more silence. She’d let you borrow them for training and you stupidly set them down when it was windy.

“Oh, wait! My blue sweater? Haven’t seen that in a while and you were the only person I lent it to.”

It was a rather chilly morning one day, so Armin lent you his infamous blue sweater.

Manipulative little bastard.

A slight blush dusted your cheeks. You glared at the blonde and scoffed. “I feel like this isn’t just about chapstick.”

Arming gave out a chuckle. “It is, (y/n). Don’t worry.” With that, Armin rose to his feet and patted your head as he walked along the branch.

Your eyes fluttered in satisfaction when his fingertips rubbed your scalp.

“I can’t even have a little?”

“No.”

Ugh, be like that then.

———

Your squad eventually had to make the journey back home. Riding next to Armin, your horses ran in sync as you both gave each other little glances every few minutes.

“Can I have some of that chapstick now?” Your voice rang over thundering steps of the horses.

“No.” Armin replied.

“But my lips are chapped!”

“Figure it out.” He shouted back.

Oh I will.

———

“Finally home.” You moaned and jumped off your horse and led her to the stables. Your body ached and sleep was all you were craving. It was dark by the time you guys got back and your squad leader gave his appreciation by quickly dismissing everyone.

Maybe I’ll skip dinner. I’m so tired.

Thoughts flowing through your head as you undressed your horse of her gear. Hanging the saddle on a peg, you brushed her mane and fed her some carrots.

“Eat up, Star. My pretty girl.” You cooed, gently running your hand over her nose. Another set of steps disrupted your intimate moment with Star.

Turning around, your eyes softened at Armin, who led his horse over by the reins.

“Hey, stranger.” He teased and began working on his horse. You smiled back at him and it was silent for a few moments, just the sound of the equipment clinking with movement.

You turned to look at him only to give a dry chuckle when you saw him pulling out his stupid cherry chapstick again. The stupid smile never left his face as he applied it.

“Ar-”

“No chapstick, (y/n).”

Damn.

“That wasn’t what I was going to say!”

Armin turned to meet your gaze with raised eyebrows. “What was it then?”

Shit. Think (y/n).

Armin chuckled as the silence answered his question. His hands gently brushed through his horse’s mane. “You’re a bad liar.”

A scoff left your lips. “I don’t like this new attitude of yours.”

Over time, Armin slowly broke out of his shell, no longer the dorky and nervous kid he once was- even though you loved that about him. Now, he was comfortable enough to speak his mind without a second thought, even to you.

“Get used to it, (y/n). Looks like you’ll have to find another way to keep your lips moisturized.”

You didn’t like the snarky look he had on his face. A sudden idea popped into your head. As Armin finished settling his horse for the night, you caught his wrist as he walked by.

A confused look adorning his features when he turned to look at you.

Without thinking twice, you pulled him towards you and stood on your toes. Lifting your head, your lips quickly planted themselves onto his.

You could tell he was caught of guard. His blue eyes widened at the sudden action and a startled whimper escaped him. It was kinda hot honestly. Pulling away, you rubbed your lips together and popped them. “Mmm, gotta love cherry.”

His lips were partly opened and a red rouge covered his face. He still couldn’t believe it.

“U-uh, I-”

“Night, Armin. See ya tomorrow.” You smiled innocently at him before brushing past him to leave.

His hand latched onto your elbow and pulled you back. Raising an eyebrow at him, Armin gripped both your shoulders before pulling you back in, lips meeting yours once more. His back was crouched down a little to meet your height. Now it was your turn to be surprised.

Oh. Oooh

He moaned slightly against your lips when you started kissing back.

The kiss lasted a few seconds before Armin slowly pulled away from you. You both were slightly panting from the adrenaline and the eye contact between you both never broke.

“There.” His hands still gripped your shoulders. “That should last you a bit.” With that, his hand moved just below your ear, his thumb brushing over your jawline.

Armin finally snapped himself of whatever trance you had on him and gave a small smile. “Meet me here tomorrow at noon, that’ll give you plenty of time to sleep in and you can join me in the valley.”

“O-okay.”

Without another word, Armin left the stables. Your mind ran crazy with thoughts. Yes, you kissed him first, but you didn’t expect him to actually want to kiss you again.

How in the world did he play the game better than you? It was your idea-

—————

The sun shines brightly through the curtains of your room. You let out a groan as the stiffness in your muscles were more prominent from yesterdays training.

Looking at the clock on the wall- 8:25 am.

You can still catch breakfast before it ends and relax a bit before meeting up with Armin.

Oh yeah…

What a peculiar night. You honestly thought Armin would either be confused or disgusted when you kissed him. Not flustered. Him kissing you on his own also surprised you. The little manipulators all grown up now.

You got up and threw on some random clothes, heading to the dining hall.

You quietly ate your food, only a few soldiers remained in the dining hall since breakfast was ending soon.

Time slowly passed by, and you decided to take a nap in your bed for another hour or two before leaving. The nap only left you more tired. After changing into a more presentable outfit, a simple button up and a long skirt, you threw your favorite sweater over. The material was soft and the fading but familiar scent was comforting to you.

Your footsteps were slow as you walked to the stables. The soreness in your body along with the tiredness still swirled in your system.

“(Y/n), over here.” Armin called out to you as he led his horse outside his stall. “Perfect timing, I was just getting ready to- is that my sweater?”

Oops. Yes, yes it was.

“Maybe.”

“I thought you said you lost it!”

“I never said I lost it.” You yawned. “Just never wanted to give it back to you.”

Armin chuckled and was a bit surprised at your words, he climbed on his horse and turned down to you, hand extended. “You ready?”

Nodding, you grabbed his hand and he pulled you up. Your legs straddled the horse and your hand hesitantly grazed his waist. It wasn’t until Armin flicked the reigns and the horse quickly trotted forward that you decided to wrap your arms tightly around his waist as he navigated through the towns.

“You good there?” He joked and placed his hand on top of your clasped ones that pressed against his abdomen.

—————

“You look nice in my sweater.” Armin commented, trekking his fingers gently through your scalp.

The warm breeze swayed the grass and wildflowers surrounding you. The meadow Armin took you to was beautiful this time of year.

Your head currently rested on his thigh. Armin was sat against a willow tree, a book in his other hand. Every so often, his hand would leave your head to turn the page and gently return.

“It’s mine now.” You mumbled through closed eyes. Armin insisted you try to nap again while he read. However, no one brought up the situation from last night. At the moment it almost seemed like it never happens. No one acknowledged it.

“Of course it is.” He said with a smile before taking his hand away from your head. He shifted and buried his hand in the pocket of his trousers. His leg raised your head slightly as he moved. “Sorry, I just can’t- dammit where is it?”

You craned your neck to see his agitated face. “What happened?”

“I can’t find my chapstick.” He muttered with a frown.

A giggle erupted from your mouth, making him look at you. “And you say I lose stuff?”

“Shut up.” He muttered.

You both returned to your original positions with you head still resting on his lap. The breeze continued to blow and you glanced at Armin to see the tips of his blonde hair blow across his face. The shorter hair really suited him.

You let out a small sigh and pulled the sweater tighter around your frame. Reaching into the small pocket, you pulled something out.

Uncapping it, you gently applied it to your lips and didn’t miss the way Armin was staring at you dumbfounded. The label was clearly a different color than his. No, this one was yours. All yours.

“It’s strawberry and before you ask- no you can’t have any. I wouldn’t want you to lose this one too.” A devilish smirk crossed your face. Payback was a bitch. If he could be petty, so could you.

Armin sat back and mumbled something incoherent. His book was now discarded to the side and his arms were crossed with a pout. Memories of last night flooded his thoughts.

The way he held you. The way he looked at you. How you tasted.

You looked up at him with innocent eyes and rubbed the substance coating your lips together. He was staring at you.

You let out a small laugh as he pulled your body up and lowered himself down closer to you. You didn’t miss the way his eyes stared into yours before darting to your lips, then back to your eyes. He was so close. Then as if he decided it was right, Armin’s lips were encasing yours once more.

You gave a small sigh into the kiss and your fingers raked through his blonde hair.

Armin’s tongue gently swiped against your bottom lip and before you could open your mouth for more, he pulled away.

“You’re right.” He said and rubbed his own lips together. “Cherry does taste better.”

You were a little disappointed at the sudden break in contact. Sitting your body up, you faced him. “We can get you more when we head back into town.” You offered and avoided your gaze.

Maybe he was just getting payback for last night?

Armin rolled his eyes and pulled you back towards him. “Yeah that sounds good, but I like this option better.”

And he kissed you again. More passionately this time.

He suddenly pulled your body against his so you were fully sat in his lap, emitting a small squeal from you. Your legs curled into his side and his hands were placed at your waist, thumb brushing your hip.

“Thank you for coming with me.” He mumbled against your lips.

“Just take me out and we’ll call it even.” You replied, your arm wrapping around his neck.

“Okay.”

——

Taglist: @cullenswife

(Lmk if you wanna be added <3)

[sciencebecameouraddiction]

my lucifer headcanons

note: these are just my own head canons. things i’ve noticed, how i write lucifer, what plays into why i write luce the way i do… etc. purely my own opinion.

- i think michael was very fond of his brother

- when the time came though to listen to dad and fulfill his duty or be a brother to lucifer michael chose duty

- the betrayal is still a sore spot for lucifer

- during lucifer’s “youth” he was curious, always dreaming up incredible creations… it was why he was dads favorite.

- he made the star fish, “because the sea deserves its own stars!” and he also made the duck. the ducks first iteration was quite a bit larger… lucifer and god compromised on a smaller duck. (more like god bribed lucifer.)

- he watched adam be made…. so he was always fond of him and lilith… until he fell in love with lilith…

- he didn’t realize it was love

- but michael knew and michael was scared. so he would draw lucifer away from the garden every chance he got

- lucifer was very naive when he was cast down to hell. he knew so much, he had been alive for so long, but there was so much life experience he didn’t have.

- the first few years in hell were horrible…

- he had hope at first

- maybe it all wouldn’t be so bad

- it was really bad. like really bad. the people who came down to hell were unspeakable devils

- (this is based off a fic i read and i can’t find it, if this rings any bells pls let me know the fic name) but lucifer is continuously appalled and distraught by the atrocities committed in his name.

- it’s one of the reasons he so powerful. he has the angelic power but also the power from those who worship him and make sacrifices for him

he really hates it. a lot. makes him feel no better than the worse overlord (cough alastor cough)

- charlie has no idea and she’ll never know if he can help it

- lucifer smells like apples and vanilla musk, a hint of cinnamon and something floral or citrusy.

- the floral or citrus changes depending on his mood

- he has a huge library. he actually pops up to earth with Asmodeous sometimes and takes books.

- he saved the whole Library of Alexandria’s books before it burned down

- he’s great friends with all the sins

- arguably closest with Beelzebub and Asmodeous

- he loves claw machines. the lights, the sounds, the prize winning???? he’s so fucking happy

- he actually wears glasses to read. he doesn’t need them but he says they make him look smarter.

- is actually a pretty good leader, is not nearly as forgiving as charlie is, but he’s not inherently cruel

- his third favorite color is pink

- his first and second are yellow and red, obviously

- he has expensive ass, maximalist taste.

- he doesn’t use tech because he knows what vox does to said tech.

- he’s always wanted a dog

- he’s very touchy. shows love physically. is only this way if he likes you though

- he has nightmares almost every night

- coffee addict

- because after not sleeping he wakes up looking like death warmed over

- and that’s if he didn’t forget to eat the past few days except for random snacks and didn’t do a 48 hour blitz of staying up working on ducks or the bit of kingdom shit he does.

- he has a handful of servants who he trusts and they are the only one in the house. there’s no team. nothing like that. he keeps it very close

- this was after someone who was a servant tried to throw an angelic dagger at his head because really they wanted to kill him and thought working for him would get them close enough.

- he homeschooled charlie. he knows a lot of stuff and even knew the guy who created calculus!

[lukey-pookie-hughes43]

Disney Could Never (Rafe Cameron)

summary: Rafe comes up and tells you SOMETHING while you watch a movie with Wheezie.

Warnings: sexual innuendos-ish, sorta fluff, rafe being lowkey kinda adorable, swearing, confusion, idek but hope you enjoy even though it took me like three weeks to write this

A/n: this is something I'm doing with @pink-princess-pussy-pop so enjoy!

-

You were hanging out in the family room of tannyhill with Wheezie watching The Little Mermaid and just hanging out when you realize you ran out of snacks so you went to the kitchen to grab more.

"Hey, Wheeze, I'm gonna go grab more snacks, okay?" You tell her quickly running to the kitchen because you didn't want to miss any of the movie you've seen countless times.

You're speeding through grabbing the snacks when you feel a strong pair of arms around your waist and a head on your shoulder with a kiss to your neck.

"If this isn't my wonderful, amazing boyfriend than someone is getting punched." You said severely scared about whether or not it was Rafe.

"Don't be scared sweetheart, it's me." Rafe said with the sweetest little gravely sleepy voice that you've been in love with for two years.

"Okay. How you doing sleepyhead?" You ask him in a joking manner but also kinda serious about it and when he doesn't answer you get scared and confused. "Baby, are you okay?" You say turning around in his arms to find him asleep and using you as a form of balance. "Baby, time to wake up. Hello, Rafey?" You say in a soft voice not wanting to startle him.

He groans at your efforts and stands up straight, looks at you with the most sleepy eyes you've ever seen and for a split second you feel bad for waking him up but you quickly shake the thought when you decide to continue on with the snacks. After he realizes that you aren't going to treat him like the huge toddler he is he whines something that sounds like a muffled version of your name into the crook of your neck qnd when you don't respond he walks away to what you thought was your shared bedroom upstairs but oh how wrong you were.

"Okay, Wheeze, I've got some Goldfish, Swedish Fish, little fishing rods I made with pretzels and some sea creature fruit snacks...Rafe, I thought you went back upstairs." You say severely confused as to why your 6"2 boyfriend is splayed across the couch that you and his sister were previously chilling on watching a movie.

He looks up at you with sleepy eyes and your heart melted "not without you baby." he whined with the cutest little pout you have found nobody else could get out of him.

"Come on, Rafey. Time to go upstairs. I'll br back, Wheeze." You say helping Rafe stand up to the best of his current abilities. As soon an you get to your bedroom he falls into a deep slumber or so you thought when you went downstairs.

You thinking Rafe is asleep you sit back down with Wheezie and continue watching the movie that at this point you have missed half of so far because of Rafe wanting cuddles which you cannot give him you suddenly feel breathing on the back of your neck followed by "I'm so hard right now, babe." Whispered in your ear praying to God the Wheezie didn't hear.

"Rafe, please stop scaring me."

"Sorry, babe, you just look so good today" He says with an evil smile you're sure he had to muster up from the depths of his soul because not even ten minutes ago he was falling asleep on your shoulder.

"Hey, Wheeze, I'll be back in just a sec-" you try to say as you get cut off by Rafe pulling you to the other room. "Rafe! What are you doing?" You say rushed so he can't cut you off.

"Sorry, Love, I just wanted to say hi." He says with that signature Rafe smirk.

"You could have just said 'Hi, Babe.' Instead of saying what ever THAT was infront of your 13 year old sister. Don't you think?" You say obviously pissed at him for saying something like that infront of Wheezie.

"M'Sorry Love. Can I kiss you now?" He says with a sincere look that you're not sure you should believe because you know him like REALLY WELL.

"Fine. But only one." You say in a joking tone, one that you both know is fake.

"Okay, baby, whatever you say." He says closing the gap between the two of you not wanting you two to ever leave this moment. At the same time you hear a faint "Ewww, Get a room you two!" Behind you which you could only guess was Wheezie because Ward was at his office, Rose was out somewhere doing Lord knows what with the other Figure Eight Moms and Sarah was with the pogues so it kind of had to be her.

"Sorry, Love, I didn't want her to walk in." He said after pulling away just a bit.

You knew he was telling the truth and gave him a quick peck not knowing when Wheezie would give you two alone time.

"It's okay Rafey, I still love you." You mumble quickly trying to escape him knowing he would never actually let you go without him into the other room.

He looks at you with the cutest serious face he could muster up from the deepest part of his heart. "You better, because if you didn't that would have been a waste of time for both of us." He says somehow annoyingly deadpan.

You just roll your eyes at him because you just want to finish the movie with your boyfriend and his sister because at this point he won't leave you alone.

A/n #2: English IS my first language but I suck at it so I hope you understand also absolutely love this story and if you want more just lmk bc I always want more stuff to do.

Ask me if you want to be apart of my tag list

[shieldofiron]

Vibe Check

Part 14: Strike First, Strike Hard, No Mercy

Also on Ao3 here and tumblr here

Steve can feel Robin getting bored with him. She’s been braiding some of her bangs together at the center of her forehead like a little tail.

The trouble is Steve just doesn’t know how to stop.

“And obviously, I can’t say anything! Billy’s dad was super awful to him and he’s only out to like three people. I don’t wanna break the gay guy bro code-”

“Gay guy bro code is so the name of a porn,” Robin says, tugging at the little useless thing until it came undone.

“Because I broke the whole like… circle of his trust by kissing him and turning into a creep!” Steve doesn’t even break stride in his pacing for her interruption, and Robin’s dorm was small, so pacing wasn’t easy.

“You’re not a creep, he already said that,” She mumbles.

He flops down next to her on the bed. “But like… even though I know I don’t have a shot. I keep thinking… do I have a shot?”

Robin opens her mouth.

“Because Billy’s really and honestly my best-” Steve cut out when Robin put her hand over his mouth. At least it smelled pleasantly of her shampoo not nasty, like Billy’s hand normally did.

Christ, Steve had missed him.

“There. Jeez. I can finally hear myself think,” Robin says. “Will you please chill out just a little?”

Steve has to think about it but he eventually nods.

“I am loathe to admit it because we did so much work in your ‘get over a straight crush’ twelve step program but…” she sighs, “this could mean you have a shot.”

“You think?”

“I mean, he’s gay. And you’re best friends. Weirdly touchy best friends. Clearly the kiss didn’t completely repulse him.” She nods once, decisively. “I don’t know about this Jason guy but he confided in you and came out to you. That’s huge.”

Steve nods eagerly, opening his mouth again. She quickly clamps her hand down over his mouth again.

“Now what we need to be thinking is not is this possible but how do we make this possible,” Robin shook her head.

Steve pries Robin’s hand free, “ok. How do we do that?”

She stands up with energy, pacing a little, her hair bouncing. Steve is really glad at this moment that Robin’s roommate was always at her boyfrien’s. He sits on Robin’s pink ruffled bedspread, toying nervously with one of the worn edges. Robin hated the thing, because it was a hand-me-down from her big sister, but Steve likes playing with it. Besides, it formed a contrast with the rest of Robin’s decor, and Robin herself. And there was something kind of charming about it. She turns to him, heavily lined eyes widening.

“Yeah?” He sits up straighter.

She slumps. “I’ve got nothing. This is uncharted territory. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I get a vibe from Billy. But I assumed it was latent bisexuality he was going to repress until he developed an ulcer in middle age after you two went on a bros fishing trip.”

Steve’s somach sinks and he deflates into the bed. “Oddly specific.”

“What I mean is this never happens. Normally straight crushes only end in heartbrak.” She shakes her head. “Do you have any idea how rare this is?”

“Obviously not, I only realized about myself like a few weeks ago.”

“Well, it’s a big deal. It also means I have no idea what to do.” She huffs. “I’ve failed you as a gay sensai.”

“No, no, you haven’t. I mean without you I probably would have developed that ulcer.” Steve stands and takes her hands. “You will always be my gay sensai.”

“You’re right. How could I have doubted myself?” She closes her eyes and then opens them, staring into Steve’s very soul. “Sorry, I got lost in the magnitude of it. He’s gay!”

Steve breaks into a giddy grin. “I know.”

“You have a shot.”

“You really think so?”

“Steve, for like two years I thought you and him were all shacked up. What can this Jason guy have that you don’t?” Robin’s blue gaze is so sincere it almost makes Steve want to cry.

“I dunno. He’s pretty hot. He’s like super buff with a great ass, and he’s kind of mouthy, like Billy, so…”

“How did you not know you were bi. It boggles the mind. But anyway, you’re hot stuff too, Mr. Thigh Kappa-”

“Theta Pi-”

“Whatever. Billy just needs a little nudge. You’re gonna be like Brittany and Santana.” Robin’s nodding with herself like she’s agreeing with something.

“Who?”

“Oh my sweet summer child. It’s like… friends to lovers, ok? We just have to show you in a new light,” She waves a hand over Steve’s t-shirt and sweatshorts. “Make him see you as more than a friend.”

“I did kiss him,” Steve reminds her, stepping back a little because the eye contact was getting a bit too much.

“Exactly. We’re off to a great start. Now he knows you’re bi, he’s already seeing you in a new way. The time to strike is now!”

“Okay,” Steve nods, then shakes his head then nods again. “But what if Jason likes him back?”

“Then we hope you’ve already gotten Billy’s attention,” She claps her hands together. “That’s why we need to move fast. Strike while the iron is hot. Billy said he wanted to break Jason and his boyfriend up, right?”

“Right.”

“So I say, you try and get them all out together so you can gague how Jason feels about Billy.” Robin says.

“And the boyfriend too. Maybe it’ll actually work in my favor.”

Robin grins. “Yes, exactly. Phase 1: scope out the enemy. After that we move on to, Phase 2-”

“Seduction.” Steve looks down at his shoes. “Damn, you really are the sensai.”

“I know, I’m like cobra kai over here. What is it? Punch fast, no breaks, no mercy.” Robin’s head is bobbing like a bobblehead. “This can work.”

Steve beams, “this can work.

“Totally. And besides I’m pretty sure making moves on your friends is like actually the gay guy bro code.”

“Wait, really?”

Robin sighs, rolling her eyes dramatically. “This is why I wanted you to go to a gay bar. Hookup culture. You’re basing all your gay knowledge on like… homoerotic moments on Friday Night Lights.”

“But I don’t want to just hook up with him. I wanna like… date him.” Steve looked at his hands. “Like I wanna take him out and bring him flowers.”

She squints at him, “ok, well, you do that to a closeted guy at your own risk, ok?”

“What do you mean?”

She looks at her poster of 1971’s Klute like she’s praying to Jane Fonda to help her though this. “Like you are right that you have to step a little careful. Billy just came out to you and it sounds like you can’t exactly show up with flowers to the frat house without him probably punching you.”

Steve makes a stifled sound. “I wou- the flowers are more of a metaphor. I mean I don’t just want to be a hookup.”

“Yes, I know. I’ve heard many times about how you want to stand in the thunderstorm and let it drown you. And so had everyone else in editing 102.” She nods, pacing a few steps and rubbing her fuzzy green socks into the flat dorm carpet.

Steve squirms a little, turning away and looking sightlessly at the things on Robin’s desk. “No, that wasn’t about Billy-”

“Shh… a plan is forming.” He looks, and she’s holding a hand up. “How did you and Nancy start dating?”

“I flirted with her at a few parties, and we hooked up. And then I put on my charm,” Steve starts, jolting when Robin grabs his arm.

“And Heidi from Winter’s lecture? Didn’t you say you dated?”

Steve scratches his temple. “We hooked up when a couple of us went to see In the Mood for Love. And then we started texting, and I put on the charm… but, I-”

“Exactly. Ok. Ok. Here’s the plan.” Robin tugs on his arm until they’re both flopped on the bed. “You agree to help with the Jason thing, scope everything out. And then while we’re there, just… like make out with someone. With Jason if you can.”

“What? In front of Billy?”

“Yes, Grandma. Listen. I’ll be there, I’ll watch Billy’s reaction. But it will do two things. First, Billy’s gonna see that you’re open to hooking up. So the kiss won’t seem so much like a repressed love confession.”

Steve can only shrug, because it totally was.

“And then you can start hooking up with Billy,” She smiles, even as she’s digging her blue fingernails into his arm.

Steve’s face is getting hot and his stomach flip flops. “But I don’t want him to get the-”

“Wrong idea, I know. But if you start with the lovey dovey confession and Jason’s around he’ll fully freak and think you both have to like come out to the house and be together right away. How do you think he’s gonna react to that?”

“Ok, that’s fair.” Steve wasn’t sure if he wanted to hope but his heart rose in his chest regardless.

“Once you’re hooking up you can just slowwwwly put on the charm. Ease him into it,” Robin circles a hand in the air. “And then you can find out the best ways to sneak around, and figure it out and then oopsie it’s been months and Jason? Who’s that?”

Steve bites his lip, nodding slightly.

“What? What’s wrong?”

“Just nervous. What if Billy doesn’t fall for my charm? He knows what it looks like.”

“Duh. You dazzle him with your dick, Steve.”

“But I’ve never hooked up with a guy!” Steve cries.

“That’s why a friend would be a perfect first hook up. Trust me. He won’t know what’s happening. You’ll be like I dunno how teach me how to give a blowjob. We’ll distract him with your wiles,” She flings her arm towards Steve’s body with all the enthusiasm as if she was pointing at a dead spider.

Steve kneeded his lip between his teeth. He should take more time to think it through. But his head swirled with ‘what if’s,’ while his heart was storming with wild runaway wishes and hopes. He could turn hooking up into a relationship. He knew he could.

But the stakes had just never been so high before.

Robin nods like she can read his mind. It always feels like she can. “Ask him to go out. Baby steps. And don’t worry, your gay sensai will be with you every step of the way.”

[briar-ffxiv]

FFXIV Write #08 - Spontaneous

FFXIV Write 2024 Master Post

Prompt #8 - You Pick - Spontaneous

Note: This is how Briar ends up with some Silkie chickens!

Briar looked around, green eyes wide and fascinated. He couldn't stop turning his head, trying to see everything at once between the beautiful shops, bright colours, and general people flowing around the market stalls. Too busy staring, the half-Elezen didn't notice unevenness in the cobblestones and gasped as he tripped. Pain shot through his right leg where the deep claw marks on his thigh were still healing. For a moment, Briar teetered, trying to catch himself with one weak leg.

"Whoa! Easy!" Aeluan said, reaching out quickly to wrap a thick arm around Briar's slim waist, half-lifting the half-Elezen. "Steady now." After a long moment, he eased Briar back to his feet. "Are you all right?"

Briar turned bright pink and nodded, clearing his throat sheepishly. "Y-yes. S-sorry," he murmured, brushing his hair behind his ears. "I wasn't watching w-where--"

The Raen paladin gave a soothing chuckle, carefully patting Briar's back. "It's okay. New, huh?"

Briar nodded and looked around, ears working and eyes darting. "Yes. It's so..busy and bright." He instinctively moved a little closer to Aeluan as a pair of Roegadyn porters with heavy loads balanced on their shoulders. "I have no idea where to start."

Aeluan laughed and flashed Briar a bright smile. "Well…I guess we start at one end of the market and head toward the other. Let's go, but let me know if you get tired."

Briar nodded obediently, one slim hand clinging a little to Aeluan's loose sleeve for comfort as he followed the Raen forward. While he was careful to stay close as Aeluan had urged, he gradually relaxed into exploring with the other.

As the day passed, Briar got to see beautiful silks and lovely carvings. He got to try a bite of dango, fried treats that he didn't know the name of, and some fruits dipped in honey. They even paused for a few minutes at a shadow puppet show, which fascinated Briar who gasped and stared as much as the children also there.

It was afternoon and Briar was starting to feel tired, but shook his head when Aeluan asked if he was ready to go back. There wasn't much left of the market and he wanted to see it all. This end was mostly various fish and animals for sale. He watched fish with long elegant fins in small bowls and gasped at the sheer mass of huge koi as they lazily circled a large but shallow bowl. He patted a few sheep and cooed over a few young ponies before the sound of familiar peeping caught his attention.

"Oh! Chickens!" Briar said with delight, heading toward a stall that had several baskets and bamboo cages holding various birds, who clucked and peeped. Many of them were quite different from his chickens at home, which were smallish, sleek birds used to foraging and avoiding danger on their own. Some of the chickens were massive with fluffy legs who clucked and regarded him with interest. Some were long-legged and tight-feathered with flowing tails.

"They're so pretty," Briar said with awe, missing Aeluan's look of bemusement. Most probably wouldn't find a handful of chickens so fascinating. "Oh, what are those?"

The half-Elezen was caught by a basket of six or seven little chicks. At a glance, they weren't much different than normal chickens. Then Briar noticed their feathers were strange, almost like fur. With a glance to make sure the vendor didn't mind, he picked up one, admiring the silky soft fluff that didn't have the stiffness regular feathers did. Briar murmured in surprise, now seeing that the chickens had very dark legs and beaks. Even their skin was a deep ebony-black that was nearly blue. "How strange!" He looked up at the vendor, a smiling Hingan woman. "What are they?"

"Chickens!" she said in heavily accented Common.

Briar smiled and nodded. "Oh! Yes, but…what kind? Their feathers are so different."

"Oh!" she laughed and pointed. "Silkie! Silkie chicken!"

Briar hummed in thought and nodded. He could see why they had such a name. Compared to the feathers of other chickens, they were indeed silky soft. He stroked the one in his hands, admiring the soft grey feathers. The others were a mixture of colours: soft golds and creams, a brown one, and one that was pure black. "They're lovely," he said wistfully, gently setting the little chick down.

The little chicken wobbled a moment and then peeped, turning back toward Briar. It tried to get closer, peeping in protest at the basket being in the way. Likely it was just Briar's warm hands the little bird was missing, but the half-Elezen looked a little stricken, reaching for a moment to stroke the chick's back. "Sorry, little one. I have to leave."

Aeluan had watched Briar handling the bird curiously, enjoying his happy fascination and delight. Now, the redhead's ears were tipped down and he looked sadly at the little bird before starting to turn away. In a moment of spontaneity, Aeluan looked at the vendor. "How much?" He gestured toward the basket. "How much for those?"

The vendor smiled, naming a price even as Briar gave a noise of surprise. "Oh! Aeluan, you don't--"

The paladin waved a hand with a smile, paying over the price without complaint. It might have been a little high, but he had plenty of coin to his name. It was worth it to see Briar's ill-hidden joy. "Don't worry about it. We'll find somewhere for them to stay until you can get them home."

Briar could only make a noise of delight as the vendor checked the chicks and then covered the basket, pushing it into his hands. "Yours now," she said quite happily. "They are good chickens, nice chickens. They taste good and have nice eggs," she nodded. "Best chickens to me."

"I--O-oh.." Briar hugged the basket carefully against his chest. Inside, the chicks peeped and rustled, settling into the hay at the bottom. Briar just clutched them and looked up at Aeluan, eyes stinging a bit. "Thank you, Aeluan. They're beautiful."

Aeluan wouldn't have guessed a few chickens could make someone so happy, but Briar's smile gave no doubt that in this case, they very much did.

Aeluan belongs to @valdiis / @sword-and-surfboard

[fountainpenguin]

Your fic "Shut Up and Fish" got me thinking... are you implying that Grian's snail is a spark?

"Shut Up and Fish"

"That's hard," Grian concedes, not looking up. The pink snail's watching, its tail patting the dirt. Grian cradles the turquoise snail's limp eyestalk in his hand. Snails are tricky creatures… They don't signal their injuries with the crook of their tails like dogs do, and they're not immune to fall damage like cats. Gingerly, easily, he brings the snail's neck to his chest and gives it a little hug. He makes a little noise. This world is beautiful if you know where to look. "Please," begs the voice in the wrinkles of his damp and dripping clothes. "You'd be a better dad to Tim. You'd be a better husband- I want what YOU have… That's MY life. Give me back my body!" Grian ignores this, peppering sloppy kisses on the snail's sweet head. It nudges into him, cuddly and sloppy and alive. Beautiful, sparked son of a thing. He'll tell Grumbot sometime, but Grumbot might not love to know he's got a snail for a younger brother now. And he laughs again, because it's stupid. It's just… It's really stupid. But he nuzzles the snail and the snail nuzzles back, and the voice in his head wails and scratches at him in the strain of Gem's boat anchor against the pebbles and sand.

In the Pixels Imperfect canon, a creature or build that is portrayed as having sentience beyond that of its basic mob AI (if applicable) needs an AI spark. Grumbot and Jrumbot are perfect examples of "portrayed as sentient" vs. "offhand joke about the build being a child, but not followed through with." Jrumbot is a non-sentient build and Grumbot is a sentient one.

Grian's snail is played as sentient - Grian even makes a huge deal about Scar "not playing the game right and making the snails do things they wouldn't do" - so in the Pixels canon, the snail is a sparked build.

Sparks don't have to be perceived as offspring- they simply embody whatever the intended roleplay was. Grumbot initially referred to Grian and Mumbo as Creator 1 and Creator 2 in Hermitcraft canon, then swapped to addressing them as dads after a certain point (to their surprise), which underscores the idea that in-universe, he is sentient and making his own decisions.

That said, Grian considers the snail his biological son, yes. His baby boy who does crime.

I have some news about Box from Double Life, wheeze...... BigB made it VERY clear in canon that Box is sentient enough to "say its first word," and Ren jumped up and down all giddy exclaiming that he was "such a proud papa," confirming that he sees it as his child.

When they're in couple's therapy, BigB explains that he "knew Ren would like it if Box had a hand so it could reach out and give him a hug." Also, special spotlight on BigB bragging about how "Box is going to need to find a soulmate" because that's so funny. I like how after BigB goes red, he invites Martyn to Box, he says "We look forward to seeing you. That's 'we' as in me and Box."

Shout-out to Martyn and Cleo getting "We will take care of Box in your absence" signed and agreed by Ren and BigB "by law and by will." Sorry you two are horribly broken up, but congrats on ur giant son. They will not nurture it, but they will definitely look at it and go "... Huh."

Guess who has one thumb, canonically wears a monocle and walks around looking like it's been "punched in the face," is technically in the Clocker family tree via Martyn, rocks he/it pronouns, and is heir apparent to Dogwarts in the Neighborhood Watch AU.

[chloeangelic]

The Barbecue

This takes place a while after the mm!Joel group bang

Summary: Chloe and Lincoln!Joel host an orgy disguised as a BBQ, and all their friends & enemies are invited.

Pairing:  @gracieispunk x @toxicanonymity x Chloe Angelic x @pascalisbaby x Maintenance man!Joel x Father Joel x Lincoln!Joel x Slasher!Joel x Husband’s best friend!Joel x Line cook!Joel x Bodyguard!Joel

Warnings:  Cringe, badly written satire smut, blasphemy, orgy, alcohol, probably some sort of dubcon but this whole thing is insane so who’s counting, fist fight, jealousy.

A/N: Line cook Joel's outfit and Husband's best friend Joel's outfit

Word count: 2.1k Rating: 18+

Chloe and Lincoln are hosting a BBQ and have invited all of their closest friends for what they said is a barbecue but wink wink is actually an orgy. Chloe wants to fuck Slasher and has been looking for an excuse to do this, so she figures that giving Lincoln an opportunity to mess around will make it less likely that the two Joels end up in some sort of possessive death match. She has hired the best chef around from a catering company called Meat & Flames, Line cook Joel, and he shows up early. Chloe goes out to the backyard and chats him up. She asks if he’s single, to which he says “Yes, I just started working at a restaurant so I haven’t yet met a waitress I’d like to impregnate, so I am indeed single”. Chloe nods, she thinks Line cook is gonna love some of the guests. 

Gracie arrives with Toxic, holding several packs of sausages and buns. “We’ve got the meats!” they say, and slam them all down on the table, then rip off their clothes to reveal matching black bikinis. They want all of their clothes to be easy to take off. Chloe also rips off her clothes and is wearing a pink bikini, but she is also wearing pink 8 inch Pleaser heels because there is also a pole at her house and she’s gonna give everyone a show later. 

After them, Bodyguard and Husband’s best friend arrive, who reluctantly Uber pooled and realized they were going to the same house very far away from the rest of civilization. Husband’s best friend is wearing a shirt that says “TWO SEATER” with one arrow pointing up and another pointing down, as well as cutoff jean shorts. He looks like a little slut, desperate to get laid. 

Father Joel arrives, and Chloe rolls her eyes when she opens the door. “Not you again, Father Joel,” she says, “I forgot I invited you. Gracie wants to invite maintenance man, and he’s gonna be so pathetic about your huge cock”. He goes and sits on the couch with Gracie and Toxic, he feels like Hugh Heffner. 

Gracie is standing next to the fully functional grill where Line cook is flipping burgers, and fishes her phone out of her pocket to call Maintenance man. She says “Hi Joel, I’m at a barbecue and the grill isn’t working, can you please help? I’m not wearing panties”. He hangs up on her. “He always does that” she says and rolls her eyes, then Father Joel comes up and says “There’s someone else calling you, Gracie. It’s God, he’s calling upon you to suck my cock”. They go back to the couch. 

Maintenance man shows up with Slasher, it is unclear how they know each other but it seems like they met on the way to the BBQ. Maintenance man spots Father Joel on the couch and rolls his eyes, especially when he sees Gracie next to him, palming the massive bulge in his pants as he has his arms stretched out on the back of the couch. “Not this fucking huge cocked priest again. Gracie, you and I need to talk about this” he says, and Toxic gets up and says “You know what? I’m taking this matter into my own hands”. She goes up to Maintenance man and drags him to the other room where she first jerks him off until he almost cums and then she lets him fuck her however he wants with his above average sized cock. 

Slasher comes out from the hallway, saying “I left my wire on the shoe rack, is that okay?” and Chloe is very happy to see him. She has wanted to hook up with him to see if it’s worth getting a divorce. Lincoln is very much not happy to see Slasher because he thinks he’s very messy and runs his mouth and needs to be more subtle about his business. 

Slasher sees maintenance man’s tool belt lying on the floor, and he says “Wow, look at these tools”. Then he takes out a hammer, grabs Husband’s best friend by the neck and pretends to hit him over the head. Husband’s best friend makes a comical choking noise and sticks his tongue out. The vibe is great and everyone is happy except for Lincoln and Maintenance man. Slasher goes and sits on the couch. He daps up Father Joel, it looks like they might have met before. 

Kim announces her arrival. She’s wearing a red bikini and is holding a bottle of wine. “I’m so anxious and horny” she says, biting her lip as she walks in. She sees Slasher and immediately sits on his lap. “Hey papi” she says, and he slaps her ass and says “Nice”. Lincoln side eyes Slasher. Lincoln thinks Kim is a little fox and is annoyed that she went right up to that twerp instead of himself. He was hoping for a threesome with Chloe and Kim tonight, which Chloe has been promising him as a trade off for him to stop interrupting their facetime sessions. He thinks Slasher has no class and no redeeming qualities. Kim asks Slasher “Can I also get a name tag?”. Lincoln rolls his eyes.  

It’s time for Chloe’s strip show. All of the Joels sit together on the large couch and watch as Chloe pole dances, while Toxic, Kim and Gracie have a threesome on the floor next to her. Father Joel says it is the devil’s dance, so Lincoln slaps him. Now they are all naked, and all of the Joels are one by one taking out their cocks and jerking off. Bodyguard comes in right as the action is starting, and he’s wearing black pants and a black turtleneck. He takes off his sunglasses and puts them on the kitchen counter, takes a seat on the couch and whips his cock out. 

Husband’s best friend is asking Lincoln for advice on doing just the tip. He asks “Have you ever stuck just your tip in someone’s ass?”. Lincoln doesn’t answer, he’s too busy eyeing Slasher who is throwing dollar bills at Chloe. Then Husband’s best friend says something very out of pocket. He says "Chloe looks like she could take one in the ass". Lincoln looks at him angrily and says, "That’s my wife you're talking about". Chloe and Toxic start taking bets on who is gonna end up in a fight tonight. 

Then Father Joel renews Chloe and Lincoln’s vows, while Kim goes up to Bodyguard and sits on his dick. Slasher doesn't like it. Gracie starts touching herself in front of and then sucking off Father Joel and Toxic starts sucking off Line cook Joel. But this is just the beginning, because Chloe has sent out a survey ahead of the event and asked who all wants to fuck each other. She takes out her clipboard and starts directing while she gives Lincoln a handjob. 

Toxic joins Gracie and Father Joel so they have a threesome. Toxic says she is afraid of Father Joel’s massive cock and Maintenance man is looking at the time, wondering when he can get out of here until Chloe starts making out with him. Kim gets off Bodyguard’s lap and goes up to Line cook, saying “Enough sausage, it’s time for you to get some pussy” and they start fucking. Slasher is now open, so Gracie goes over and fucks him now. 

Toxic says “Hey, when am I getting some more action? A brothel owner can’t get any dick around here?. Then Bodyguard fucks her while she sucks Maintenance man’s cock. She’s having a great time. Then she says, “Wait a minute. Lincoln, come here”. She sucks his cock for one second, then shoos him off and continues to suck off Maintenance man. Gracie goes over to Lincoln and starts to suck him off, then Kim joins and he licks her while he starts fucking Gracie. It’s all making sense logistically. 

Husband’s best friend is furiously jerking off and licking his lips, looking like a little pervert, wondering who will want to have anal tonight. He announces it. “Anyone want to have anal tonight?” he says, nodding and looking very pleased with himself. Chloe mutters “Not with you”, but Kim says “Yes, ok”. She also says “Father Joel can you fuck my pussy?” and he says “Thou shall not curse… But yes get your pussy out”. He sticks it in her pussy and now it’s finally Husband’s best friend’s turn to get some anal action, so he sticks it in her butt and she is now double penetrated. Husband’s best friend is a moron, he doesn’t realize that this is his last stop for the night because he is in an ass, so he has to sit in the cuck chair after blowing his load. Gracie comes up and kisses Kim during this DP sequence, then Kim starts doing down on Gracie. 

Father Joel then fucks Toxic for a long time and also crosses her while tossing Gracie a few communion crackers, saying “This is the Cock of Christ”. Then he takes his rosary beads and sticks them in Gracie’s ass. Chloe starts fucking Bodyguard and it’s kind of romantic. They even kiss. Then she waves Line cook over and she gets him to fuck her pussy while Bodyguard fucks her ass and she is now also double penetrated. Unfortunately, Bodyguard would have to go to the cuck chair after this but he has some self respect so he leaves instead. Slasher fucks Gracie on the floor. After that, Slasher is in the mood for some extra pussy, so he bends Chloe over the couch and fucks her. Lincoln side eyes Chloe and Slasher. He thinks that Slasher is gonna pay for this. 

Kim is almost in tears as she says “Mommy what the hell I thought we were gonna fuck”. Chloe says “Yes baby come here”. Then they have a treesome with Slasher and Kim calls him Papi again. Now everyone is finally sucking and riding and moaning and fucking except for Husband’s best friend in the cuck chair. 

Now everyone is cummed out and naked, so Father Joel goes and grabs the bottle of red wine brought by Kim. He says “This is the Blood of Christ” and takes a massive gulp, then starts to send it around the room. However, the first stop is to Lincoln who smacks it out of his hand and it covers Father Joel who is still wearing his clerical collar. Father Joel is pissed off and gasps. Slasher says “Yo man, I got some extra clothes”. 

Father Joel realizes he has never fucked Chloe, not in the pussy or ass, and he is not happy about it. He starts to say Lincoln has married a sinner and a dirty slut whore who shows her behind to every man, woman and original fictional character around here. Lincoln swings at him, saying “That’s my wife you’re talking about”, and before they know it they are having a full on fist fight on the floor. Lincoln is naked and Father Joel is still wearing nothing but his clerical collar. Toxic is taking bets on who will win, Gracie is hollering and telling them to fight, Kim is crying and Chloe is fucking Slasher in peace, trying to decide if the dick is worth the divorce. At the same time, she is also flattered that Lincoln would fight for her, so she gets up and says “Lincoln, I choose you because I think we have more of a future together”.

He’s too busy fighting to hear anything, but now Line cook is pulling Father Joel back and Maintenance man is pulling Lincoln back. Maintenance man secretly wanted to see Father Joel get his shit rocked, he thinks he deserves it. Toxic collects everyone’s money and shoves it in her panties, she really won big tonight. She thinks that maybe she will upgrade the TV at the brothel, but also is annoyed because she knows that some of the residents will ask why they weren’t invited. She thinks Stepdad will probably ask how much cum there was, and she will have to tell them that there was a sufficient amount of cum and anything more would be excessive and potentially a health hazard. 

Maintenance man has had a bad feeling about Slasher this entire time, and pulls Gracie aside to tell her to call the police. He thinks the wire is a little sus. When they come back, everyone hears a siren and Chloe says “Woop woop, it’s the sound of da police”. Slasher jumps out of the couch, picks Kim up and throws her over his shoulder before he starts running. “Take me away, papi!”, Kim yells as they disappear out the door, “Chain me up in your dirty trailer!”. 

Everyone finally eats and small talks about the weather, and how Lincoln and Chloe have such great taste in interior design.

Then Husband's best friend joins Toxic, Gracie and Maintenance man in their Uber pool back to the brothel. Line cook packs up and thinks maybe he'll also visit the brothel to see what all the fuss is about. Father Joel gets in the pope mobile and drives back to the rectory.

It was a great barbecue.

[inheartofwinter]

A super late Halloween piece written for @drarrymicrofic 's prompt "trick or treat". G | 697 words.

Trick or Treat

"Happy Halloween! Trick or treat?"

Harry stared at the vampire standing amid ten kids in front of his door.

He must have been hallucinating this. There could be no other answer.

Harry rubbed his eyes. The person was still standing there, bonus a scowl.

"What the heck are you doing here, Malfoy? And wearing that!"

The vampire—Malfoy—folded his arms in front of his chest. "Participating in a Muggle tradition, of course. You know my terms of probation."

Harry knew Malfoy's terms of probation. How could he not when he was the Auror assigned to make sure that Malfoy followed it? One of them was learning about Muggles. Under torture, Harry would admit that it was quite fun to watch Malfoy interacting with Muggle things. Malfoy took to drama series, rocks and rolls, takeaways and jeans like a fish took to water, but he shrieked whenever he had to get in a Muggle transportation, too scarred by all the stories about car crashing and plane falling Harry had gleefully told him in details.

However, trying as hard as he could, he could not remember anything about wearing costumes and going around to ask for candies with a bunch of Muggle kids.

"Malfoy—"

"Where're the candies?" asked a kid in an annoyed voice, not caring a bit about whatever the adults had to say.

Following their leader, the other kids started voicing their displeasure at Harry's lack of candies.

"Give us our candies!"

"Candies!! Candies!! Candies!!"

"I want chocolate!" chimed in Malfoy, smirking at Harry.

"I want chocolate, too!" A boy in a giant pumpkin costume yelled. Malfoy high-fived him.

"Don't you have any sweet?" A girl wearing a Frankenstein's monster costume waved her bat threateningly—or would be threateningly if the bat hadn't been bright pink with a huge bow on top of it.

Harry sighed and discreetly Summoned the bowl of sweets he had prepared beforehand.

"Here you go," he said, presenting the kids with the bowl of sweets. The Frankenstein's monster girl looked disappointed. For a moment, Harry had a flashback of Fred and George. He shuddered.

The sweets disappeared in approximately ten seconds. It seemed the spicy tamarind candy had appealed to the Frankenstein's monster girl; she had put her bat down to open the wrap and throw the candy into her mouth. The pumpkin boy jumped in delight with the cheap chocolate bar Harry bought from the supermarket that morning. Harry noted to himself to buy a more expensive brand of chocolate next time.

Before Harry could be relieved that the world's peace was restored, a voice resounded.

"Where is my share?" asked Malfoy in a heartbroken voice, no sweets in hand.

Harry looked down at the bowl of sweets. There was none left.

"Eh... I'm sorry," said Harry, feeling weirdly disappointed at himself. He hadn't intended to give Malfoy any sweet, but still.

Malfoy dropped his head. The kids immediately surrounded Malfoy and cooed at him. A girl in a ghost costume hugged Malfoy to comfort him. The pumpkin boy offered to give Malfoy haft of his chocolate bar. The Frankenstein's monster girl glared at Harry, bat in hands again.

It was when an idea sprouted in Harry's head. "Come back tomorrow! I'll give you your chocolate tomorrow!"

Malfoy looked up, eyes widen with hope. "Really?"

Harry nodded eagerly. "Yes! I will even give you a whole box of chocolate!"

Malfoy smiled brightly.

The Frankenstein's monster girl gave Harry a thumb-up. Harry thumbed up back.

The kids and Malfoy waved him goodbye and moved to terrorise the next house. Harry waved after them.

Now he needed to think about which brand he should buy Malfoy tomorrow.

(*)

"Trick or treat?" A cheerful voice yelled when Harry opened the door. As promised, Malfoy and the kids had come back, minus the costumes.

Harry looked at them, glanced at the clock and groaned. By "tomorrow", he didn't mean 7 o'clock in the morning. He also didn't remember promising the throng of kids more sweets.

"Where are the sweets?" asked Malfoy with a hopeful smile.

Harry watched the dimples on Malfoy's cheeks, and decided that being wakened up at arse hour wasn't so bad.

[ladybellissima]

Finding Love Katakuri x Reader Part 31

Wide awake the young beautiful marine cadet watched the morning sun raise. Finally the day started and finally she was able to work on her plan. Normally the Admiral was already waiting outside her door, but not today. No. Today it would be easier. With Captain Coby by her side, (Y/N) was sure to have more freedom. On top he was better to speak with. A really kindhearted captain. A silent knock at her door let her jump to her feets. Slowly she looked through the gap of the open door and felt relieved to see a smiling pink haired man than a cigar puffing Admiral.

"(Y/N)! Good morning. Are you ready for the day?", he asked happily, while she stepped out of her room to make the professional salut. Chuckling he gave her a stunned look of her appearance.

"Wow look at you. Dressed in our clothes… You look great!", he spoke amazed, but then blushed madly of the way it sounded.

With a short thank you, (Y/N) started to walk along the corridors with him.

"I was looking forward to see you again. After the Admiral got you under his wing I was worried, but you seem okay. That's a relief.", he started, while (Y/N) rolled her eyes annoyed.

Nothing was okay in the slightest.

"It's very early, nevertheless we start right away! Today i show you our training grounds. I hope you are motivated, because I will check your fitness level. I noticed that it's still missing in your papers.", he spoke and remembered how hard it was to run the rounds back then.

(Y/N) balled her fists motivated and was ready to deal with whatever would come. Walking in silence she glanced up to his carefree expression. Now was a good opportunity. Should she ask? Would it be suspicious? Her mind was racing of scenarios. Mostly bad ones.

"Something wrong? Tell me if something bothers you, (Y/N)", he spoke in a caring tone. Nodding quickly she thought wisely about her words.

" Say Captain Coby, what happened with my ship? I am just curious. ", she asked nervously. Thinking for a moment his look wandered straight again. (Y/N)'s heartbeat was increasing. Did she go too far?

"Oh yeah. Now I remember where they took it. You mean the giant bonbon. What an extravagant way to sail the seas. It's at the underground entrance by the other submerge ships. They were struggeling where to put it, because of its size. So it stays there.", he looked down to her uneasy expression. By his happy attitude he seemed completely clueless, which let her calm down a bit.

"Underground entrance.. I don't have a clue where that is. This place is really huge.. Honestly I would be completely lost, if i wouldn't follow you right now..", (Y/N) tried to guide their talk to the right direction. It was really hard to have a conversation with the main goal to get information. Stunned Coby stopped in his tracks and started to search through his pockets.

" Didn't the Admiral show you around?", he asked and already knew the answer, but also got a short no from the innocent girl beside him.

"I can't believe that you didn't have a tour around this place. Normally it's the first thing you get..but what can I say..the Admiral has his own way..", he mumbled, while searching frustrated. Confused (Y/N) watched his doings and it didn't help either after he suddenly fished out a folded paper with sparkling eyes.

" Here! This is the most important paper of every new marine here.", he announced and placed it into her hands. Opening it she gasped surprised of the detailed map in her hands. Every room and corridor was neatly named and give her an perfect overview of her location. Feeling her trembling hands of the starting excitement, she had to take a deep breath to calm down.

"Great isn't it? I still had it in my coat but I don't need it anymore. Now nothing could go wrong.", he spoke happily and (Y/N) felt a tear roll down her cheek. Shocked he asked why she was crying and if he had said something wrong, but he quickly fell silent after getting a bright smile from her and a surprising big hug.

" You are right. Nothing could go wrong now… Thank you Coby…", she spoke relieved, while feeling him hugging her back. Both had a smile on their face, but about complete different thoughts.

Stepping back (Y/N) folded the paper again and put it into her trousers. Her goal was getting closer. What a beautiful day it was. Walking again they reached the training grounds where hell became reality for every new recruit, but she was more than motivated now to face this challenge. If (Y/N) wanted to stay here any longer then she had to show that she was worth it.

"Okay let's start this..Surprise me and we are finished sooner.", he joked. If he would have known that she would take his words literally.

Coby was unsure if this wouldn't be too hard for a lovely girl like her. Becoming a marine wasn't easy and if you would ask him, he saw her more as a person, which was protected by him than letting her out there to fight.

God he was wrong in every way.

He didn't know where (Y/N) was hiding this power inside that fragile beautiful body of hers and this training session was starting to make him quite nervous. It was a hot day and (Y/N) changed into short training shorts, sport bra and an oversized tank top, which she got from the dress room. What could he say. It was underlining her curves in a perfect way and standing before him, motivated, with this special glint in her eyes, he knew that she would achieve everything she longed for. The wall climbing, crawling through fields or running rounds like crazy. Her will to fight was unbelievable. Growling like a monster (Y/N) pushed herself beyond her limits, while she climbed high up in the air on a rope. Not only once Coby had to avoid her sexy moves, because of his dirty thoughts. Her whole body hurted like hell and it felt like she was going to faint. Luckily they made some breaks in between to let her rest a bit, till the next test was calling. She never trained that hard her entire life. To be honest, she never trained at all, but she still kept going for him. For the life of Katakuri, who was also fighting with all he got.

"(Y/N) it's enough."

Finally the words of salvation. Breathing heavily, she carelessly took her shirt off and wiped her face. A sudden cough got her attention and she was met with a blushing Coby, who offered her a new one and water.

"I have to say you mastered every test very well. If you go on like that I am sure you will pass the entry test in one month. It's important to train everyday to get better. if you want to make it, then that will be your daily challenge.", he explained nervously, while (Y/N) lay on the ground half naked.

" Everyday? This? ", she breathed exhausted. God she has to get away from here quick. Chuckling he sat down and gave her time to recover.

" Yeah everyday. You need strength to fight. But for now you are free to go..", he spoke happily and fall back of her sudden jump to her feets.

"You mean I have time for me now? I can sleep or eat or mostly sleep? ", she asked excited and got a heartwarming laugh of Coby as an answer.

"You always remind me of myself. Yeah I give you the rest of the day off. Today it's really hot and nothing ordinary is going on. You need time to recover till the Admiral is back. I will finish the papers. So I wish you a great afternoon. ", Coby spoke and was deeply hugged by (Y/N).

" I can't thank you enough! ", she spoke and got up. Quickly running out like she never was exhausted minutes before, he looked after her with mixed feelings. In a way he found that there was more behind her words than it sounded.

Getting a quick shower to look neatly like it was ordered for every marine and gathering her things together, (Y/N) got ready to step out of her room. It was already late in the afternoon and she knew there wasn't much time left. It was risky to go, because maybe the Admiral was already on his way back. Who knows what this man was planning.

But the moment was so damn perfect.

No one was around. Everyone was doing his own thing, because the high ranked marines were out of sight. Locking her door (Y/N) walked along the corridor, while once in awhile taking a glimpse of the map. Coby was really a lifesaver. It would have been very complicated to find the way on her own.

Step after step she finally reached the doors of the prison district. Taking a deep breath she slowly opened it to not cause any noise.

"No one in sight…"

Quickly getting inside she got deeper and deeper into the darkness. The familiar disgusting smell, which lingered in the thick air made her feel sick. Her hands started to shake of her nervousness. She wanted to see him so badly that she was about to miss the guard. Frozen in the spot she hid behind a wall and thought desperately of what to do.

There was a noise. A growling noise.

Did he notice her? Was this her end now?

But nothing happened. Irritated (Y/N) leaned forward to take a glimpse of what was going on.

To call it sleeping would be an understatement. This man was fighting with his inner self right now.

There wasn't another explanation of the sound he was making. Her look fell onto his belt where the cell keys were carelessly hanging and she realized that she totally forgot that part of meeting her husband. Sighing of her stupidity she was happy that the man was caught in such a deep sleep.

Annoyed about herself and the situation, she walked closer and with shaken hands she grabbed his belt to get the keys off. Her look wandered from his sleeping face to the belt and back. Her body was trembling of fear. One wrong move and everything was over. Her mind was racing about the question, if she should really go this far to see him, but checking his condition was also important for their escape. She had to be prepared for everything. The smell of alcohol reached her nose and by his red face she realized that he had a good time with a bottle of sake. Sighing in relief she got the keys of and walked pass the man who still was mentally on the battlefields and sure wouldn't come back so soon.

Passing the cells she was able to see Katakuri's prison. Finally. Rushing towards it of fear to losing this chance again she looked inside and couldn't see anything. Silently (Y/N) opened the cell doors and took a candle from the wall to light it up with one of the matches, which were laying at a small table by the metal bars. Her look wandered from the candle to the wall.

Her breath stopped.

"Are you sure he would life that long?"

Akainu's words rang in her mind and (Y/N) wasn't sure anymore.

In a way she was afraid to step closer. To maybe make things worse. Her hands were shaking and let the candle light move rapidly.

Blood.

So much blood.

Cuts, deep wounds, bruises.

" Burn wounds…", she whispered shocked, while coming closer. His head was hanging down carelessly, exposed without his scarf. Trembling she reached out to him, but hesitated midway.

"Katakuri…", her soft voice called out to him desperately. She thought he was unconscious. He sure had to be with these wounds, but she was wrong. Katakuri heard her angelic voice in the darkness and moved slowly. Gasping she watched him lifting his head. His emotionless pained look met her shocked one.

"Am I dreaming?"

Gasping of finally hearing his raspy, but soft voice she fell to her knees and cried silently, while he couldn't believe it that she was there. In front of him. His beautiful wife.

"(Y/N)…."

Taking a deep breath (Y/N) had to collect herself. But it was so damn hard. She couldn't stand to see him like that. The man she loved, close to his death.

"Please (Y/N)…. You have to focus on your plan.. There is hope..", she thought desperately and shook her head quickly. She could cry the whole night at her room but not stay by his side forever. Taking her bag with shaken hands, she slowly got up again to face her husband. A shiver ran down her spine after meeting his exhausted look again.

"I know what you will say now…", she sobbed bitterly.

"(Y/N)", he whispered and breathed heavily of the pain.

"I know I risk my life. Go too far. Maybe it's useless and we will end together on the scaffold..", she bite her lip in frustration.

"(Y/N)..", he called out again, but this time in a demanding voice, which let her stop abruptly and look to his soft smile. Hugging herself she tried to control her trembling body, while he whispered his long needed wish.

"Just kiss me.."

[zeciex]

I gotta know bc I’m nosey: just how happy is the endgame? Like on a scale of “we survived but at what cost” happy or a “look at our perfect house and our free lottery win and our happy (living) children and the lovable dog we adopted” happy?

(I totally understand if you don’t know yet, them being endgame is enough for me but I do enjoy being prepared lol. And I’ve seen fic where Aemond/OC is the “endgame” but one of them dies at the end or there’s some other insanely angsty twist and usually it’s still CHEF’S KISS bc fanfic writers are gods in my opinion, but it crushes me every time)

Also I have character questions (if you’re willing to answer) but I haven’t seen any of the ask lists today so I’m going off memory/my own thoughts: What’s your funniest HCs for Aemond/your OC? What’s the dumbest/silliest (non-influential) thing they’ve ever done? Do they have any routines that settle them? How will they be with future children (who actually live lmao rip our boy)? In like 50 years when they’re chilling together as old folks, what will they look back on and laugh about together? What do you think their love languages are and how do they prefer to show it?

Yeehaw

On a scale of how happy the endgame is; we will see. I haven't fully set on anything, but I want them both to survive into old age--only then will one of them die, and I very much plan to write this because it's beautiful and sad and angsty and just... I like the idea I have. But I do think there's a sadness that comes with surviving the war--with most of their family gone, with a realm torn by war, with having to rebuild and redeem themselves. I do hope to give them a happy ending, to give them warmth and love, to have them work through the trauma--because we all know that there will be trauma and it never really leaves you. I want them to have a family of their own and have that family life Aemond never allowed himself to dream of before Dae. So that is what I work towards, but it's so far in the future that nothing is set--everything is broad strokes.

What’s your funniest HCs for Aemond/your OC? -It's not so much a HC because it happened, though it happened between chapters, but sometimes I think about Daenera putting dye in Aemond's bath stuff so what little hair he has on his body turned pink as well as the tips of his hair, which he had to cut. -Aemond can draw, surprisingly well, but it's not something he had pursued because it's 'frivolus' -Daenera has a prank streak--vindictive--and was infamous on DS for exercising that streak on her brother's/the people in the castle. That being said, she was well loved in the small fishing village along the coast because she dragged a master and medicine with her so that she could learn the arts. -Aemond does play an instrument and he's very meticulous at it, but it is not perfect and so he doesn't do it--this goes hand in hand with him thinking this frivolous. -Dae's first kiss was with Baela and Jace most definitely gets defensive if it's brought up because he wants to be Baela's first kiss (he was never going to be) -Dae/Aemond has had dates of their own during the night where they just hang out, kiss, fuck, eat food and read.

They're not so much funny headcanons, but they're the ones I have.

What’s the dumbest/silliest (non-influential) thing they’ve ever done? -I think the dye thing, I mean, that shit was funny. And I really enjoyed their prank wars. I definitely thought about continuing a few minor pranks before they went low low with the love letter and the whore thing. -Them flying to the Isle of Faces for a date could go very wrong, I mean, even if she was just a 'plain' featured girl standing beside a clearly targaryen man with a huge--ass dragon is a neon sign that could have gotten back to Larys.

Do they have any routines that settle them? Aemond is very specific about routines, and he's a 'go-late-to-bed-but-gets-up-early' kind of person. He usually spends his mornings training, then go to lessons (before the war), then read and if he's restless then more training or flying with Vhagar. Daenera finds the monotony of preparing potions/poultices really soothing, she loves the scents and working with her hands, even if it includes some math and measurements. She is a late-to-bed-late-to-get-up kind of person and she gets rather grumpy if she gets woken early (especially by Mertha). And if it weren't forced upon her, I think embroidery would settle her. But she gets up and starts with lessons (before the war) then her afternoons are spent with the maesters, learning from them, or reading.

How will they be with future children (who actually live lmao rip our boy)? There will be more children, and they're very engaged and attentive parents. Aemond can be indulging, especially towards daughters, while he can be harder and more firm towards sons. Daenera is both very loving but can also be firm. And they're both protective with Rhaegar--and they will likely be more so after. But after Rhaegar there will also be anxiousness attached to being a parent, they're both traumatized and they will have to work through that.

In like 50 years when they’re chilling together as old folks, what will they look back on and laugh about together? Murdering Boris, likely lol. The prank wars as well. But I also think they will look back at the stretches between all the trauma and badness that is just them--and I think they actively avoid thinking too much about their family and everything that happened, how fucked up everything was. And, once the war is settled and they're alive, they've got like... 30+ years of times to make those happy and fun memories before they turn 50.

What do you think their love languages are and how do they prefer to show it? Touch. Their shared love language is touch--which I've tried to show throughout season 1. And sharing spaces, where they're not necessarily engaging with one another but they're in the same room, hanging out in comfortable silence. Gestures of affection--like preparing tea on a cold day, ensuring everything is in place where Aemond won't fall over it until he learns the space, bringing a book for them to read, asking the kitchens to make specific food they like, things like that.

Aemond also gives gifts--he had the red robe made for her with the help of Helaena, he also have a ring stowed away for the right time as he knows she'll throw it in his face at the moment, he sent for specific books to be translated and given to her. And, I also think him trying to protect her in any way he can is a love language of his.

Daenera's is stitching up cuts and making medicine and potions for their loved one--that is one of her main showings of love, but just generally touch.

Great questions, tell me YOUR headcanons! I'd love to know <3