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peekofhistory · 1 month ago

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You said about buying their own hanfu in one of the last asks. Is it really ok for non chinese people to buy it?

Where I live we are usually so preoccupied with cultural appropriation that I'm afraid to somehow cross the line.

Omg, thank you for asking this question, it's a really, really good one (I live in Canada and this is also an issue that pops up here).

In the daily life world, what I would recommend is do what feels safest for you. I know some people can take this sort of stuff to extremes, so protect yourself first. If you feel that wearing Hanfu as a non-Chinese person is going to get you attacked (in person, online, anywhere) then it might not be the best idea.

If you're just buying and not wearing out, buy away~!! No one knows what you have in your closet. Or you can always wear it around the house or in your backyard. You can also kind of..."take it apart". Like, wear a Hanfu top with some dress pants, or a Hanfu skirt with a regular blouse. You're less likely to attract attention that way.

In my own, personal opinion, though, I honestly have no issues at all with anyone wearing Hanfu on 2 conditions: It's not worn to mock or bash the culture. It's not worn with the intention to claim ownership of the garment.

I don't care if you wear it solely because it's pretty clothes, I don't care if you love Chinese history and culture and have a PhD in it and Hanfu is part of the package, I don't even care if you just happen to want to wear it for Halloween, as long as there's no malicious intent behind it I personally have no problems at all.

If you actually come to China and wear Hanfu, I can guarantee (yes, guarantee) that NO Chinese person will attack you for cultural appropriation. In fact, the opposite is MUCH more likely to happen in that Chinese people (in China) will LOVE that you are wearing Hanfu. That you show interest in our culture and history, that's very exciting!

I lived in Japan for several years for work and I wore kimonos once in a while there. My Japanese friends and colleagues had no issues with it, in fact they LOVED it (one of them even gave me a kimono from her family's collection). While traveling around I saw lots of non-Japanese people going to professional kimono studios to get done up and then visit tourist sites for photos, no one gave them any issues, no whispers, no side eyes, nothing but excitement to see visitors enjoying and participating in their culture.

I also used to like Lolita fashion, which is inspired by European historical clothing. No one in Canada had an issue with me wearing that sort of thing, even though my physical appearance is clearly not from Europe. If I ever go to Versailles, I plan on a full Marie Antoinette dress and hair and I'll stomp anyone who tries to tell me I can't.

It's fascinating to me that most people actually living IN the country of question don't see others enjoying their culture as a negative thing. In fact they generally are more than happy to share because it feels GOOD that others want to learn about your country. (And by "most people" I'm talking 99.999999%, I'm only leaving 0.0000001% possibility because China has a lot of people so maaaaaaaaybe you miiiiiiiiiight find one person who has an issue if you interview EVERYone)

I feel like the word "appropriation" needs to be better defined to those who are either: a) Trying to claim something not belonging to their culture is theirs b) Mocking or ridiculing another culture

I had a really sad experience once where one of my good friends and I were shopping in an Asian mall together. She's a brunette, Caucasian. She saw a qipao store (those Chinese form-fitting dresses) and admired how pretty the dresses in the display were so I said why don't we go in and try some on. She said she can't because she's afraid she'll get accused of cultural appropriation (much like yourself). I was SO incredibly sad when she said that, I honestly wanted to cry.

I WANT to share my culture with my friends and others around the world, I WANT people to come and participate in it. But I also understood that with the political atmosphere being what it is, she wasn't comfortable wearing it.

Sometimes it feels like there's a bunch of people who aren't actually interested in our culture, never been to China, never cracked open a book about China, never learned anything about China except maybe what's on the news, very gun-ho to gatekeep who gets to enjoy our culture FOR us (I won't speak for cultures I haven't explored, but I got a similar sense while living in Japan). They mean well, but...I do wish it could be more nuanced so that not everyone simply trying to learn and enjoy a culture outside of their DNA gets attacked.

Then there's my group who have "Chinese" DNA but were either born abroad or grew up abroad most of their life (technically there's no "Chinese" DNA, Chinese is not an ethnic group, but you get the idea). We've been exposed mainly to the political atmosphere outside, but our reaction to this issue splits.

Some are like me, we're happy to share, we're happy to see others enjoying Hanfu, buying it, wearing it, learning about it, etc.

Some will react to this issue similarly as those who attack anyone and everyone who tries to wear something not in their own culture. I find this group scarier because, to a completely non-Chinese person, this group seems to hold a lot of authority on the topic. They have a DNA connection to China, surely they get the final say in whether or not non-Chinese people should be "allowed" to wear Chinese traditional wear. But again, there's no nuance at all. I once saw someone from this group attack a Caucasian woman on Twitter for wearing chopsticks in their hair. Like...??????????????? Who...CARES???? Either they simply liked the look or just wanted the hair out of their face, who CARES. They weren't mocking China or Chinese culture, they weren't claiming sticks in hair was an idea they invented, like...seriously. Then anyone in the comments who said it wasn't a big deal this person would pull the "I'm Chinese" card, but when I checked her profile she left China before she was 4. Yes, she's technically "Chinese" but just how much authority should she hold telling others who gets to participate in Chinese culture?

And honestly, if we're being really, reeeeeeeeeally strict about who "gets" to enjoy Hanfu... "Han" is an ethnic group in China (95% of the population), "Hanfu" means the clothing of the Han ethnic group. I'm 1/8 Mongolian (on my mom's side someone married a Mongolian wife), does that mean I also can't wear Hanfu? Or I get to enjoy 7/8 of Hanfu?? Like...do we have to start doing DNA tests before enjoying cultures? xDD

Anyway, that's my giant, long take on the topic. Congrats if you read all of it ^^;;

You can always come to China (I'm here on a visit :D) and we can wear Hanfu together~ A non-Chinese person wearing Hanfu out would be a star at all the sites, you'll get random people asking you for photos (I get non-Chinese visitors asking me for photos when I wear Hanfu out in China, you'll get all the Chinese people asking you for photos xDD)

Look at these lovely visitors enjoying their trips to China wearing Hanfu :D

#hanfu #汉服 #china #中国 #chinese hanfu #culture #history #fashion #clothing #historical clothing #cultural appropriation #there's not even a translation for cultural appropriation in Chinese...#I feel like if I said it to my Chinese family they'd give me very confused stares

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phoenixeclipse-lmkau · 5 months ago

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So uh, I realise I wrote too much again, so like, I don't expect the questions to be answered, I just think in questions and what ifs. I don't expect the questions to be answered at all just go for a general respond to the vibes if u want.

I think you should have Reader go back to her world and the duo try and go after her.

According to JTTW isn't the world in the palm of Buddha or something? Would Reader's world be in the future or an alternate world/palm?

I'm just imagining after they go through all their adventures and grow and mature as people[monkies?], they should get a power of friendship[romance] power boost to go to Reader's world and immediately cause chaos there, with all the drama that is involved.

What would they think about everyone knowing so much about them? Is there a heavenly realm/court thingy they can ransack, so we can have shenanigans of two heavenly courts fighting the duo and each other on what to do regarding the situation?

How would the duo react to meeting Reader's family? Would there be a Sun Wukong and Macaque in Reader's world? How would they react to the Cursed Warlords duo?

What if Reader goes home with them still cursed instead?

Imagine Reader being separated from them because as far as anyone knows, these are wild animals that should live in a zoo or something.

Nobody would believe that the monkeys came from another world, they would just wonder how Reader managed to steal 2 monkey cubs from their parents and habitat most likely across country lines

People probably think Reader is an abusive, cruel, ignorant asshole who probably got them from a poacher or something.

Can u imagine the amount of harassment, hate and vitriol Reader would get, and the monkeys would witness?

And they would only see a bunch of humans, targeting the one human who no matter what tried their best to keep them safe, saying that Reader is a horrible person that they will "save" them from, only to be shoved into tiny cages[carriers] only to be taken into a prison where they are stared at 24/7 with flashing lights from all sides with no privacy[zoo], forced to eat pellets while reader would probably starve before letting them go hungry[fruit has been bred to have too much sugar that it gives animals cavities so zoos don't use them], being manhandled by strangers poking random things into them[vets giving check-up and bloodwork]?

Imagine if they broke their curse after experiencing all of that, oh their reaction to everything:

monkey duo: "ok, there is no way we will leave Reader here, court-napping kidnapping 'rescue' reader plan is a go!"

reader, who only saw them as cubs and was imprisoned shortly after they were separated: "Who tf are you???? Why do these two monkey demons act like they know me??? How did they even get here??? WAIT WHY AM I BEING TAKEN BACK??? WHAT ABOUT THE CUBS?? are these the cubs parents??"

monkey duo, touched that reader still remembers to think about them after all this kerfuffle:"… ok we are definitely going to marry reader, gonna have to shift plans to move it up the schedule"

This had me absolutely busting a gut as I was reading it. The idea would be something that would be fun to play with for sure.

I don’t think that I’ll have them go to her world this early in the Au, but eventually they’ll probably go there because they don’t like her being anywhere that isn’t with them. Well other than Flower Fruit Mountain, as they believe that she is safest there. (Haven’t decided when they actually go to her world yet, or if they’ll go there quietly or if they’ll bust into the place or not)

Now for Reader’s World, I realize it’s something I haven’t really mentioned before. Reader’s world is a modern world, one that doesn’t have demons or monsters lurking around every corner. My thought is it’s just like Earth in this way. I like the idea of Reader’s world being one that isn’t on Buddha’s palm at all, in fact it’s a world that should be impossible for her to leave or travel to. However due to a specific magic that flows through her, she is able to get pulled to and from her world. What magic? Honestly haven’t decided on that yet. But the only way she can control it is with magical artifacts, her magic simply powering the artifact and guiding it to the right dimension. She and two other people are the only ones who can even do this properly, even if her own is a complete accident usage every time.

No there isn’t a Sun Wukong and Macaque in her world. That would be funny true, but with her world being a modern one I don’t feel like it fits.

My thoughts on Reader traveling between the worlds, hehe~ Let’s just say I’ve got a few fun plans for that. Especially when the Monkey Duo can’t do anything about it (At least not for a while). 👀 Heck due to the nature of Reader’s nullification to magic, Macaque can’t even just know when she arrives in their world. They will get rather desperate to get her back on more than one occasion. HA! I am going to make them work for this girl! They want her, they will have to work / fight for her. Though the fighting comes like second nature to them, heck more than second nature to them actually.

On the topic of marriage though, Wukong and Macaque think more along the lines of courting. They just want to court-nap her and mate with her and then she would be their wife by Demon standards. So they won’t really think to have an actual wedding… at least not until they learn about that human custom.

I loved your ideas btw, thank you so much for sharing them with me ❤️

As always if anyone else has any other ideas, then send them my way! I love to hear everyone’s thoughts. Such as this Anon’s who had me laughing so hard I swear my stomach hurt from it.

Just thinking about the monkey duo being put into a zoo was hilarious. The absolute rage Wukong would feel would be something to behold, including the fact that he’d probably tear down the zoo if the curse vanished while he was in it. Reader would be all worried about your monkeys trying to figure out how to free them when suddenly there’s some sort of fire happening at the zoo they were brought to. You would probably fear for the worst.

Until two monkey demons probably enter through your window, ready to take their darling back home.

“How…” Reader gasps as you stared into beautiful golden eyes that stared at you with a love stuck smile.

“Hello Reader~ Are you ready to go home?” Wukong mutters, his tail swaying back and forth like that of a cat.

“Who are you!?” you want to run. The demon in front of you is covered in blood and walking towards you at a rather quick pace, too quick.

“Now, now. We can’t have you running,” Another demon mutters as arms wrap around your waist, seemly out of no where.

Turning you are about to yell when you notice a set of three ears on each side of his head. Immediately your thoughts going to your little monkey cubs as she's picked up effortlessly.

"Ahh! Let me go! Who the heck are you!? Are you Plum and Peaches parents? Is that why you're here? I swear I don't have them, they- they're trapped at the zoo... I didn't do anything to them-" you would get cut off rather quickly.

"Shh, shh we know. We know that you didn't do anything other than care for them. Gotta say being called Plum for months was strange but can't say I hated it," Macaque would whisper in your ear.

As this is revealed to you, a sense of terror washes over you. Slowly you find yourself turning to look at the other monkey demon in the room. The similarities were so distinctive and they were right in your face. You couldn't deny it now.

"Now, let's get you back home. We aren't going to leave you for this stupid world to take care of you. No, they can't take care of you like we can," Wukong mutters, nuzzling his face against your cheek.

You can try to get out of their hold all you like, but you won't succeed with these two. They love you too much to let you go now. You sealed your fate the moment you gave them food, if I'm being honest. Especially with what the zoo tried to feed them.

#dead dove do not eat #sun wukong x macaque #yandere sun wukong #yandere macaque #Sun Wukong x Reader #Macaque x Reader #sun wukong x macaque x reader #Shadowpeach x Reader #Shadowpeach x Female Reader #cursed warlords au #cursed warlords lmk au

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bau-drabbles · 1 year ago

Text

the night we met, part 3

a/n: hope you enjoy! mentions of torture and guns throughout, kinda long and unrealistic but its fanfic so 🥴

what if haley never died that day? but what if your love for hotchner had to?

part 1, 2

"have you found her yet?!" hotch barked the order out as penelope frantically searched through copious amount of cctv footage all at once. several computer screens were open for the team, trying to find a clue on the location of where you had been taken.

"not yet sir" garcia whispered, her fingers practically flying across the keyboard silently begging for any sign where you could've left. hotch tried to reign his anger back in, this wasn't anyone fault but himself. if only he had caught up to you, just 60 seconds before you wouldn't have been here. if only that stupid kiss hadn't even happened, you wouldn't be god knows where getting tortured.

he takes a breath, knowing deep down it's not the time to react emotionally but it's hard not to, it's hard to even think rationally when he knows the likelihood of you surviving wasn't all that great. his profiler brain knew the possible outcome from this wasn't exactly high and with every second his worst fear could potentially become true.

"have you found her?" haley's voice cuts in and hotch shakes his head, his fingers pinching his temple for any signs that he must've missed. it feels overwhelming around him, flashes of people and the sounds of you seeping through his mind. it's dizzying trying to piece together what's real and what's not, flashes of you and that damned kiss is all that plays on his mind. the softness of your lips, the utter desperation between you both, the sheer passion that radiated in waves, all of it. he needed it again, he craved it.

it's even worse when his wife, the mother of his child, the very woman you almost got shot for, is standing there looking at with concern but he doesn't take any notice. he never would've though haley's voice could be so shrill and irritating, he never could've imagined himself recoiling away from her. so he simply doesn't answer her, sighing as he tries to go over the footage with garcia. he should tell her about the kiss but his lips remain closed, not willing to share anything more about you to her.

"well i can help-" "haley please. go home protect jack, he needs one of us" hotch dismisses her, his heart becoming in control of the situation. he can't stand to look at her, feeling so guilty for kissing another woman but even worse because he didn't regret doing it. his only regret was not kissing you for longer. still, hotch knew he was being overly harsh but the pure fear, the worry of you being alone and he wasn't there was enough to send him tumbling into a pit of pure distress.

but he took a breath, now was not the time to become emotional. he had to get his head in the game. the risk of losing you was too much to bear but the thought of you being out there, chained to a devil was enough to keep him going.

"police have set up roadblocks blocking any main exits in the city. if they've travelled, they can't leave the country" jj and emily come in, but the information isn't enough. who knows what the man could've been doing to you by now, who knows what terrible inflictions could've been upon you.

"we've checked any significant location but they've all come negative, the detectives are checking for any last known locations and the camera footage when they leave...." morgan and spencer are next to enter, their shoulders deflating in disappointment and sadness being unable to find you.

"we'll find her aaron" rossi pats hotch's shoulders and though the sentiment is sweet, any hope is starting to crumble and diminish now. you were just here, how could they not find you yet? the bau was supposed to be one of the safest buildings, how could someone so easily take you away like that?? his resolve was breaking and if he wasn't careful, all the feelings that were locked up tightly would begin to spill before he could've comprehended it. the truth he was too scared to admit would be admitted and he didn't know how long he could hide it for

before anyone could respond, a beeping appeared. and there beheld a sight they wished they would never have had to see.

taking a good glance at you, all seven team members found their hearts shattering piece by piece in their chests. a chorus of horrified gasps and exclaims echoed throughout the room and hotch could barely even breathe, the words dying on his lips

"aaaand here we go" you hear a click, the whirr of a computer and it takes you all your strength to awaken. an overwhelming feeling of tiredness practically envelopes your body, how easily you could fall into the darkness that awaits your presence. and then the unfamiliar feeling of being tied up grabs you attention, fear courses through your veins as your eyes open and adjust to the setting. it felt like a hospital room but this was no place where people were fixed. the sickly smell of blood and bleach is strong in the air, its overpowering and nauseating

but you calm your mind, it wasn't the time to panic. you had to think, you had to fight, you had to survive

your vision was slightly blurred looking at the man who held you captive, trying to ignore the intense throbbing in your head. your hands were cuffed to some chain, holding you upright on your feet. but he loosens something and you fall to the ground with a soft thud, vision spinning from the lack of hydration and the beatings he had given you prior.

"ohmy god.... y/n??" a breathless whisper echoes throughout the room and painfully, you glance at the camera. there, all your team members stood in complete horror. you see hotch and for the first time since you had known him, he's at a loss for words. just looking at you with so much pain, so much anger, so much fear.

you could feel your cheeks burning from shame and embarrassment, at your situation or the kiss you didn't really know. you didn't even want to know.

"y/n?? are you okay??? someone tell me she's okay please-" garcia looks on tearfully while morgan comes behind her, guiding her to the computer. truthfully they didn't have an answer to her question but they needed to focus, to keep you alive. and you didn't need to be disrupted, not when your life was at stake.

"that was to prove she's very much alive so none of you have to worry" and just like that you're brought up to your feet again, groaning when the handcuffs pinch the skin tightly. there's so much pain, you can't even pinpoint where it hurts the most.

"what is she dressed in?" someone seethed and you blink in confusion, craning your neck to see your body. it was a black gown you were in, a slit riding up the thigh. it was beautiful, too pretty to be drenched in blood. a stark contrast to the situation you were in now.

"don't worry i didn't change her, i had someone else to do it for me. my prizes have to look picture perfect" he brushes a piece of your hair and you swing your head out of the way, eliciting a kick from him. you don't even cry out, gasping for air at the momentum he had lunged at you with. your hands grip around the handcuffs but it was useless, you couldn't claw your way out of metal.

"you stupid bitch!" his fingers grip your face, you could see just how much his rage consumed him. it was unnerving to say the least, the slightest thing seemed to tick him off. there was no telling what he could do to you in this state

"enough!" hotch grits out, his fingers clenching into tight fists by his side. piece by piece his facade was cracking underneath the unsub's hammer. he couldn't reign in his control this time, not with your life being threatened

"who are you?" you grit out painfully, trying to stop the wave of nausea hitting you over and over. the man doesn't answer, the head of his gun trailing from your chin to the centre of your neck. you hear the click of the revolver and your breath is hitched, wondering if he was really going to kill you this way. wondering if you'd be shot in front of your team that remained helpless on the other side

"i've always wondered what the price was for killing an fbi agent was-" you see the man's cruel smile hit you can't answer, the fear felt overpowering.

"don't you dare" hotch snarls, surprising everyone with the intensity of his rage. and to your surprise, it had worked. the man eyed hotch and with a soft grin, dropped his gun and you felt your lungs take their first breath. tears pricked your eyes, the tiredness was practically swimming in your body but you couldn't crumble. not in front of the unsub, not in front of your team. and especially not in front of hotch.

"i think we should play a game, no?" the man smiles sadistically, pointing to you again. any strength you once held was shattering minutes by minute. your mind and body fighting over one another, wanting to give in and give up but forcing yourself to stay awake no matter what

"leave her alone! i can have you arrested on multiple accounts of-" hotch's face was unreadable, his hands etched tightly around the monitor but the unsub gestures to his mouth, to silence them all.

"if you want her alive, you'll do what i say. good luck trying to pinpoint our location, right now the cell service is bouncing around several cell towers all across the globe" frustrated, hotch looks towards garcia who was working feverishly and she sadly nods, it wasn't a clear location no matter how times she tried to hack into the system. she was hit waves and waves after a firewall which could take hours, time you didn't have to spare.

"so back to the game, who wants to start? oh and if anyone moves," you feel the pinch of a knife resting dangerously on the pulse in your neck.

"one twist and she's on the ground and i'll be miles away. and this would've been all for nothing" he moves the knife down to the centre of your neck. leaving spots of blood in its wake. all of them look helplessly at each other, the unsub had them right where he wanted them and they knew. any slight movement would guarantee your death, any secret calls would have you beaten before they could hang up.

you were all at his mercy, whether they liked it or not

"derek morgan" the unsub peered around the group and his eyes settle on him eerily. morgan gulps a little, trying to calm his shaking hands. his eyes looks at you helplessly then back to the unsub where his gaze had hardened as puts up his profiler front once more

"we're starting off easy, how many years have you and agent l/n known each other" the question was simple enough and yet it felt like he asked into the lions den, suddenly feeling rather exposed and confused. as if any answer to this simple question would be wrong even if it was the truth

"wha-" derek began but he heard a sound of disapproval and your shocked wince as you were yanked back by your hair

"wrong answer" you weren't even given a warning or a countdown before you feel a surge of hot white pain floods through your body. painful screams rip out through your mouth, your hands desperately clawing at the handcuffs but its to no avail. the team stand there panicking, yelling at the man to stop. the pain was intense, you could've almost passed out from the pure agony crippling you

"waitwait wait stop stop!!! it's three!!! i've known her three years!!!" derek shouts, banging the screen and the pain is low dull one, you gasp and gulp for oxygen that never fully reaches your lungs.

"if you had answered the first time around, none of this would have happened would it?" he scowls, giving you a nudge with the stick. you gasp out for air, your tongue heavy on your lips as your body groans against the ties holding you up

"hurry up garcia" hotch commands under his breath to penelope, her eyes watering as she's trying desperately get some location on you. jj and emily help, trying not to look at the horror that was unfolding and focus their attention on bringing you back safely.

"i'm so sorry, i'm so sorry-" morgan whispers, his hands shaking looking to and back from you and the unsub. hotch can only stare with his mind spinning, breathing coming out in short bursts, his heart feeling like it had plunged to the deepest darkest parts of the earth. he's losing his composure and as much as he's trying to reel it back, it keeps slipping from him. leaving nothing but a vulnerable scared man

"how you doing?" the man prods your head and you could only gasp at the anguish flooding your body. if it weren't for the incredibly tight rope holding you upright, you would've collapsed a long time ago.

"doesn't she look so pretty?" he holds your face mockingly and turns so the rest of them can see. every member of your team feel their hearts shattering and splintering, their hitched gasps of panic at the beating.

"agent hotchner" the unsub asked another question, his dark eyes settling on hotch. a manical grin on his lips as he revels in the alarm he has inflicted on the whole team. as if it gives him satisfaction that your life danced in his hands and your team members could do nothing but watch

"truth or dare?" the unsub smirks and hotch looks at you, his stoic facade crumbling. his heart was falling into a million pieces he's not sure he'll ever recover from

"truth" hotch utters, his voice completely free from the cold tone he usually dons.

"do you love agent l/n??" the chain holding you upright once again loosens, and that sends you tumbling to the floor in a broken beaten pile. your heart was racing, partly because of the pain but mostly due to what he would answer. with a good amount of strength, you raise your head and look at the camera. looking at his face, how his eyes flickers with so many emotions and how you can practically see his resolve breaking away

hotch was a good liar but seeing your broken defeated face, being unable to help you, he had answered the question without even realising.

"yes" the murmur was soft, his voice cracking as he takes in your approach. he had caused this. he had done this to you. the promise of protection was nothing more than jumbled words at his feet. he broke the very thing he swore on you, how could ever look at you the same again?

"aww what a cute lil romantic story this has evolved into" the unsub had cackled and your head shook, glaring at both hotch and the man who had held you captive

"there's nothing... romantic about this" your voice was weak but firm, refusing to even meet hotch's eyes.

"shut up" the man had gripped you, ignoring the protest your team were calling. it felt like too much, he held your chin and you look at him, it was now or never. you had to escape, you had to be free.

you had to survive

with one swift move, all your strength goes in knocking him down. he tumbles to the table, breaking the rotting wood with ease. the instruments clatter and you get up, hissing when your abdomen stretched a little. looking down, you see your body littered with blood and bruises. a huge burn mark plastering your side as the dress ripped apart but you didn't have time to feel sorry for yourself when you hear voices crying out that he was attacking again

"in front, y/n!!" derek commands and you duck, making him fall into the table. you quickly grabbing the keys from the scattered objects on the floor, jamming it into the lock and twiddling until you felt a click. the metal loosens and you feel them slipping off, eternally grateful that for once the universe was on your side.

you didn't get time to react for when you look in front, he's there again. but your leg connects with his groin, remembering the training moves you were taught. the force of the kick was enough to paralyse him for a few minutes as he screamed. you looked around, quickly trying to find some keys to unlock the door. your freedom was close, you could practically taste it as you rushed around.

and then you had made the biggest mistake of looking into the camera for a second.

in that second you catch a glimpse of hotch's face, it completely startles you. as if the world had stilled for a fleeting moment and all you see is hotch, just looking at you with so many emotions it's hard to decipher which is the most dominant. how despite everything, you want to hug him and never let go. your body inbetween his arms and your head against his heart, protected against any and all bad in this world. and then you remember the heartache he's caused you, the moment that had led up to you getting captured and every memory is a dagger to your heart. how could things have gotten so wrong?

but it was that moment that was used to the unsub's advantage

you hear screams echoing in the room but you don't comprehend until you feel a burning sensation completely puncture your abdomen. gasping, you look down to see blood gathering at your feet and dripping down your legs and before you even look back up, the object breaks the skin a second time. as if it was all in slow motion, your teams watched the horrific steps play out like a twisted play.

"i told you not to mess with me, you stupid bitch!" he grips and twists the object once more, resulting in a breathless gasp leaving your lips. the pain felt intense, a throbbing sensation overtaking you as you collapse. the horrible sound of your skin being punctures all but echoes in hotch's head, unable to do anything but to scream your name. shocked screams echo in the bau room, penelope's fingers are furiously typing away as she squeezes her eyes, unable to stop the horrible penetrative sound of your skin being stabbed in her mind.

the pain grows worse by the second and your scream dies on your lips, eyes fluttering closed ready to accept and await the darkness that overtakes your consciousness.

"nonono.... no!!!" hotch could barely manage a whisper, banging the screen as if he could magically appear to your aide. but he was simply doomed to watch you as you suffer and collaspe to the ground, breathing quickening. this couldn't be, this couldn't be the end.

you can see him and painfully you turn to watch his face. you don't know what emotions has crossed over his features, he still looks as beautiful as he did the first day you had set eyes upon him. how lucky you were to experience what it was like to be kissed by such a man, to be able to be in the presence of such a wonderful person. your tears had blurred your vision, not out of pain but out of gratitude. even laying on this cold floor, bleeding out, you were purely thankful for him.

he had protected you before and now it was your turn, this way he could focus on his wife and child. you would never be in the way again. there's a hint of the softest smile upon your lips as your eyes close. your fists loosened, limbs becoming limp as you closed your eyes, allowing the darkness to fully encapsulate your mind and body. maybe in a different world, a lighter one, you and hotch could be together against all odds.

the screen fizzles into a black page and hotch barely lets a breath out he didn't think he was holding. his hands have gripped the chairs, he didn't trust himself to stand without the support. he could feel his eyes prickling with the tears as hard as he tried to disguise them, his world was falling apart at the seams and he couldn't do a thing to fix it. all he wants is to be with you but now he didn't even know if you were alive anymore, that thoughts sends him further spiralling in his despair. he wanted nothing more than the ground to completely swallow him whole, the lump in his throat growing bigger as his team members looks at him. partly with concern, fear and pure sadness.

the room was completely silent, everyone's faces covered with a look of pure sorrow and so much anguish.

penelope's tears won't stop trickling down her cheeks. emily and jj look at each other with helplessness, their tears shining underneath the lights. morgan and reid lean against the table their hearts thundering in their chest, completely unable to process what had just taken place while rossi sits by a chair his head in his hands at the pure shock and pain running through him.

"it-it didn't look that terrible, she could still.... be alive" against his better judgement reid offers his support softly. the crushing weight of your absence completely crumbling hotch in a way they've never seen before.

"she was stabbed twice, reid. don't be so naive to think she could've possibly survived that alongside with the beating he had delivered. you above all, should know that much" his voice was harsher than he intended, heavy as the lump in his throat grew bigger. it felt like the air was being cut off, his thoughts ricocheting across from one another as his knees give way and he crashes to the floor in pure defeat and torture. he could faintly feel someone come to his help, his name being called but his mouth refuses to answer. all he can think about, all his mind is replaying is the moment before you closed your eyes. how he wasn't there to help you, how he couldn't rescue you this time.

you could've still been there with them had he been to your aid just 60 seconds earlier. if he had chased you quickly, you wouldn't be beaten and bruised within an inch of your life and now you were... gone. his heart felt like it was being twisted painfully, gripped tight as the thought of never hearing your laugh and seeing your smile became permanent. the dam had broken and the tears spilled down his face, his hands clutching the carpet but to no avail.

what we he supposed to do now, haunting by the memory of you like this? what was he supposed to do haunted with the ghost of you?

#criminal minds fanfiction #aaron hotchner x reader #criminal minds #aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner x reader fanfiction #aaron hotch x reader #aaron hotch fanfiction #aaron hotchner x reader angst #aaron hotch x you #aaron hotch hotchner #aaron hotchner x y/n

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sunshinetomorrow · 8 months ago

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help a disabled trans woman get herself (and her cat) across the country and away from her family

hi everyone, i didn't ever want to have to be the one making a post like this but i'm kind of out of options here. ive had to move back in with my mom over the past few months but things have been getting more and more unstable and its really taking a lot of a toll on my mental health + has been actively retraumatizing to an extent.

the original plan was to move all of my stuff with me at once to go live with my partner in texas in a month, but due to unforeseen circumstances my mom had to move out of her current place this weekend. she now wants me to come back with her and help her move back in with my grandparents, but this would mean moving in the literal opposite direction from where i want to go and getting even further from my goal of autonomy from her/the rest of my family.

my partners lease ends in a month and we were going to get an apartment together, but in light of everything i think the safest option for me right now is to fly out early and stay with them until then. the biggest issue is my cat piper, i don't want to leave her with my mom since i don't know when i'd even be back to pick her up. unfortunately though, this means i will have to pay for a pet travel fee on top of my plane ticket, as well as checked bag fees for any of my possessions i want to have access to over the next month.

^ from what i can find, delta has the lowest rates for boarding pets, but they have pretty expensive checked bag policies (35 for the first bag and 45 for the second). all in all, i need around $350 to get myself, my cat and my basic clothes and possessions away from my family and safely with my partner at any time in the next week.

i don't have a specific goal date besides "as soon as possible" because the plane ticket prices will be changing every day. i also have a small amount of money saved up which could pay for part of this, but the longer i spend around my mom the more she is going to make me spend it on food or other things for our family. any additional funding will be spent on travel expenses or food and litter costs for piper!!

^ heres my paypal (ignore my strange username, somehow im one of the only trans people who doesnt have their deadname on paypal and im scared to change it bc of that)

i will keep everyone updated on this post!!!

$0/350

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nowaysguidetothebestkeptsecrets · 3 months ago

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Wonders of Norway: A Traveller's Guide to the Best Kept Secrets

By John Kirby, G. Soliven From BSIT-1A

Imagine a land of stunning fjords, majestic mountains, and vibrant cities under the shimmering Northern Lights. Norway is not just a destination; it's my dream vacation, a place I long to explore one day. Though I’m currently studying and can’t visit just yet, this guide will unveil the hidden gems of this Scandinavian paradise for when I can finally embark on my journey. Whether you're an outdoor enthusiast, a history buff, or simply seeking tranquillity in nature, Norway has something special for everyone. Let’s embark on this journey to discover the wonders of Norway!

Norway’s Outdoor Adventure

Why Norway Is Perfect for Adventure Travelers

Norway is often referred to as a dream destination for adventure travellers. The varied landscapes provide a rich diversity of outdoor activities, including hiking, biking, skiing, kayaking, and rock climbing. There’s no shortage of thrilling experiences to be had in Norway's great outdoors!

When I think of my future travels, I can already envision myself immersed in nature, taking in all that Norway has to offer:

Mountain Climbing

With over 600 mountains, Norway is a paradise for climbers. Galdhøpiggen, the highest peak at 8,100 feet, promises breathtaking views for those ready to take on the challenge.

Rafting

For adrenaline seekers, white-water rafting on Norway’s majestic rivers is a must. From beginner-friendly experiences to thrilling rapids, there’s an adventure for everyone.

Dog Sledding

In the winter, dog sledding is an unforgettable experience. Imagine gliding through snow-covered landscapes in Tromsø, led by a team of e nergetic huskies!

Reference Top Destinations/Activities

Activities and Nature Attractions

Norway is filled with stunning natural beauty and activities for every season. Here are some highlights I dream of experiencing:

Must-See Nature Attractions

Fjords: Exploring the iconic fjords like Geirangerfjord and Nærøyfjord, both UNESCO World Heritage Sites, is at the top of my list.

Northern Lights: Witnessing the magical Aurora Borealis in places like Tromsø during winter is a dream come true.

Midnight Sun: I can already imagine the surreal experience of the sun never setting during summer in northern Norway.

Waterfalls: Visiting breath-taking waterfalls like Vettisfossen, the tallest in Norway, would be a highlight of my trip.

Family-Friendly Activities

Norway also offers many activities suitable for families, from outdoor adventures to cultural experiences, making it a wonderful place to visit for everyone.

Reference

Cultural Insights

Family Dynamics

Norwegian families tend to be small, valuing independence and equality. Gender roles are balanced, with shared responsibilities in both work and home life, creating a sense of community.

Official Language and Communication

Norwegian is the official language, but most Norwegians speak English, making it easy for travellers like me to communicate and connect with locals. I appreciate the straightforward and warm-hearted nature of Norwegian interactions.

The Norwegian Diet

Traditional Norwegian cuisine includes fish, meat, and hearty bread. While I look forward to trying local delicacies, I know international influences have shaped the modern dining scene, making it diverse and exciting.

Reference Travel Tips

17 Things You Need to Know Before Visiting Norway

Norway is a Scandinavian Country: It consists of Norway, Sweden, and Denmark.

Polar Bears Do Not Walk in the Streets: They’re found in Svalbard, not mainland Norway.

Currency: The Norwegian Krone (NOK) is the currency; most transactions can be done with cards.

Safety: Norway is one of the safest countries to visit, with low crime rates.

Seasons: Norway experiences distinct seasons; plan your visit accordingly.

Wild Camping: Enjoy the freedom of wild camping in nature.

National Parks: Access to national parks is generally free.

Best Salmon: Don’t miss trying Norway’s renowned salmon dishes.

Eating Out: Dining can be expensive; consider grocery shopping for budget-friendly meals.

Northern Lights: Best viewed in northern Norway between October and April.

Travel Distances: Norway is large, so plan your travel time accordingly.

Wildlife: Generally safe; no dangerous animals on mainland Norway.

Norwegian Taco Culture: Tacos are a beloved Friday night tradition!

Diversity of Regions: Each region offers unique landscapes and experiences.

Midnight Sun: Experience 24 hours of daylight in summer.

Community Engagement: Young people often engage in sports and volunteer work.

Language: Understanding basic Norwegian phrases can enhance your experience.

Reference Norway, with its breathtaking landscapes, rich culture, and welcoming atmosphere, is truly my dream vacation destination. From stunning fjords to vibrant cities, I know there’s something for every traveler. I eagerly look forward to exploring this incredible country someday.

I encourage you to consider visiting this amazing destination and share your thoughts or experiences in the comments below. Have you traveled to Norway? What was your favorite part?

If you enjoyed this guide and want to explore more about travel, culture, and adventures, don’t forget to follow us on social media for the latest updates, tips, and insights, and check out our other posts for more inspiration. Here’s to dreaming of Norway until we can experience it firsthand!

#norway #europe #nordic #scandanavian #travel #mountains #family #viking #fishing #hiking #skiing

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youreallyshouldtalkmore · 11 months ago

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Kiss from a Rose_Part 1

A.N: A three part series featuring Neuvillette x Reader!

Genshin Impact MasterList

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Explain, exactly how, HOW the devil did the Iudex of Fontaine and your husband go missing overnight?

You had gone to bed after returning home from a dinner with Monsieur Neuvillette. He was well and dandy when you parted from him. There were times when he returned to his office instead of heading home.

This was such a night.

Next you knew, you had a bunch of Melusines banging on your door, half of them in tears, headed by Sedene. It took you a moment as you rarely saw her outside, manning the desk at Palais Mermonia.

But then you quickly realized the gravity of the situation once you were able to piece together what exactly happened. That morning, Neuvillette had decided to visit Merusea Village for some business or another.

Nothing out of the ordinary there.

But then they barely turned away, and it was like he suddenly disappeared!

This sent Merusea Village into a state of panic, as several came to alert their friends that worked above ground. And even after lunch was well and over, Monsieur Neuvillette was nowhere to be found.

Which lead to Sedene, personally, coming to find you with an entourage of Melusines that she had picked up along the way. Their usual calm was nowhere to be seen.

You had managed to calm them down and told them to take you to the last place that they had seen him.

You refused to start panicking and right now; you needed to keep a cool head.

That was two days ago.

You were beginning to panic a little by now.

In the interim, all of Fontaine had quickly found out that the ludex had gone missing. Amidst the hand ringing and drama of it, you had met up with Traveler. The two of you were close to the Melusines and more importantly were trusted to be within the village. The Traveler had looked over the village but found nothing amidst either.

You both expanded your search, starting with the surroundings of the Beryl region and working out. Traveler and you both decided to enlist some help of closest friends to discreetly look around in other areas. Lyney, Lynette, Freminet and Navia were helping out. Wriothesley had also gotten wind and was keeping his ear and eyes out in his part of the world. Even Furina had volunteered her services in keeping the people calm amidst the panic (and drama of it). She mostly had the task of giving Charlotte the run-around.

You had taken to the depths of the ocean, in hopes of finding your dear husband. It was such a time when an otter suddenly appeared and began swimming around with you. You didn’t mind, as the animals were quite docile if you left them alone.

At one point, it even clung onto your back, making you smile a little. At any other time you would have thought it was cute, but right now you just wanted to see Neuvillette. How could he have vanished, seemingly without a trace?

Was he taken by someone outside of Fontaine?

You blew a frustrated breath as you swam to the surface. You were dimly aware of the otter letting go of you as you climb onto a rock and sat. Dropping your head into your hands, you tried in vain not to start crying.

But the tears slid down your cheek anyway.

“Where could he be?” you whispered.

You felt something cold touch your leg, and you jerked in surprise, looking down to see the otter. It patted you on the leg, as if to reassure you.

You smiled, “Thank you. How very sweet of you.” Your smile trembled, “I hope I can find him soon.”

The otter patted you on the leg once more.

“I don’t know what I would do if something happened to him. We combed the area! And what exactly would be a menace to him? And even if I thought of people that would want to harm him, or kidnap him and take him away, how did they do it? He should be the safest person in this entire country! Like, I keep going over it in my mind and…” You sniffed before you could help but to start sobbing, “What am I going to do? What will the Melusines do? We need him! I need him! I want my husband back!”

This was the first time you had a breakdown since this entire mess started. You had held it in, this entire time, making sure above all not to worry the Melusines. But now that it was just you and an otter, you were having a mental breakdown.

You were unaware of the fact that the sun was slowly being blocked by rain clouds until it started raining.

“Really? It needs to rain on top of this too!!” You wailed as the first drop fell on you.

You felt something hugging your leg tighter and looked down at the otter, whose big eyes were looking up at you.

Wait, why did it look like its eyes were glassy too?

You sniffed, “Too bad the rain can’t lead me to where he….is…..”

You stared down at the otter, really looking at it. White and blue, long blue tendrils like the blue in Neuvillette’s hair. It was sunny ago and it just started raining.

“I might be losing my mind…. But….” you looked away before side eyeing down at the otter, “Neuvillette?”

The otter seemed to brighten before tapping your leg once, twice and hugging it.

“Wait, are you really? You got turned into an otter?”

The otter nodded.

“Oh my…what, how…nevermind…just….get up here!” You scooped up the otter and held it tight. “Wait, we need to…hold on, let me calm down and think.”

You tried to calm your racing heart and think about this as you tried not to squeeze the life out of the otter. As such, you held the otter close, and it nuzzled you once. You were aware that part of this might be desperation, but right now you would take it. It wasn’t lost that the rain was slowly disappearing as quickly as it came.

If that wasn’t a sign….

The otter reached up and patted your cheek, almost as if it was trying to wipe away your tears.

You smiled down at him, pulling back to look at the otter as you rubbed his head, “First, are you okay? Tired, hurt? Are you hungry? ” You were aware you were firing off too many questions.

Wait, he was an animal now! Could he even understand…. ?

The otter cocked his head before nodding. Then it shook its head. You took it to mean, he was okay and wasn’t hurt.

Never mind then….

“Hungry?” you inquired again.

The otter nodded.

“Then we need to kill a fish!” You cried vehemently, “Hold on! You’re an otter now. Why haven’t you eaten yet?”

You looked down at it curiously. The otter just stared at you.

“Hmmm, just a guess, but getting turned into an otter came a shock, and you hadn’t quite got used to your body yet.”

The otter clapped its hand once.

“Thank you! I try.” You said, standing up, “No worries! I shall get some fish for you.”

Part 2

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A.N: Remember when we had to kill an ocean to farm for Neuvillette? I felt bad for them! Some of them I refused to kill because they were so cute, but now that I’m done, the ocean is safe! Hooray!!

(They did us dirty, making the ocean creatures so cute and non-violent. Some will straight up back away from you. How am I supposed to feel then?)

#genshin impact #genshin impact fanfiction #genshin impact fanfic #neuvillette x reader #neuvillete x reader #neuvillette

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petrichor102 · 28 days ago

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Is Boris Pavlikovsky real?

(Okay, fair warning: this post will get longer and longer each time you see it for each thing I notice about this masterpiece, and I'm sorry)

(Maybe I'll add pictures later to make it easier/nicer to read. I am aware I'm insane—)

I've seen this movie once, and I'm in the middle of watching it again 😅 but I'm getting serious Black Swan vibes here between Theo and Boris. And I'm wondering, did Theo hallucinate him? Because he's

• lonely and usually friendless

• has a complicated friendship with another dark-haired troublemaker who understands (and ultimately betrays) him

• gets saddled with an abusive, drunk, jobless, nomadic father trying to steal his money

• is living in filth and poverty, and

• is usually on drugs from adults to shut him up, and he has regular access to them by the time he reaches Las Vegas

Now, when Theo first arrived in Las Vegas, Xandra makes a point of informing Theo that they're the only ones who live in the neighborhood. Then, his life spirals into a nightmare for the next two years. There's nothing to do, no one to play with, he's eating ice cream for breakfast and stolen steaks, beers, and chips for dinner, and his "parents" neglect or abuse him. It's a hard fall from losing his mother and being taken in by some misguided but well-meaning aristocrats whose own lonely son plays chess with him. No one even sits next to him on the bus*.

And who shows up? Conveniently making him giggle in his favorite class (English) and on his bus*? With a situation mirroring his own almost exactly, yet... seems to have all the time in the world for Theo (in the film)? That's also closeted but, like, he's so cool and crazy and loose and fearless? Who’s also on a constant binge of drugs and alcohol (and just gives half his drugs to Theo for free)? Suspiciously living in the same "empty" development?

Throughout the film, perhaps because of the damage due to Boris's drug use and battery injuries, he never quite seems... all there. It's as though he's still rendering, or like an unfinished diary entry. And all he does in the film is try to make Theo happy, make him feel better. Theo wants to try drugs with Boris, he wants to escape reality through Boris, he feels safest with Boris.

Even Theo asks Boris if he has any neighbors and if anyone lives with him, almost in disbelief of Boris's existence himself. Boris manages to see what little "good" there is in his parents when it's really hard for Theo to do so (which is completely justifiable). And curiously, when Theo's father dies, not only does Xandra not seem to notice Boris in her house, but when Boris attempts to steal wine and is caught, he says, "I didn't think you could see me." Theo laughs at this, and Xandra scolds him and not Boris. She never looks at him once, even to throw him out for laughing at her dead boyfriend. Realizing he royally screwed up, but still too high to understand what he did, Theo immediately lays down plans for himself down to the last detail and runs away. He doesn't consider that maybe he and Boris could survive together in Vegas, because he doesn't know Vegas, and Boris makes no comment when Theo says he has no friends here—the game is over. Theo is in danger and Boris can't charm him into staying even for one day. He runs to the only place he knows: New York. Boris thinks this is crazy and too abrupt, as he doesn't know New York yet, and strangely, for the first time is insecure and afraid of how he'll live despite traveling so many places and multiple countries in very short notice before without problems. The seat next him on the bus* is now empty, just as it was when Theo first arrived to Vegas. Boris can't make him happy anymore because he can't promise Theo will even make it through the night. Though Theo wants rather than needs Boris to come, imagining somehow Boris will fit in, Boris vanishes, stating he "can't" leave with him.

...

WHAT?!

Next, once Theo arrives in New York, things are alright again. He lives with Hobie, is close to the Barbours, and his work life is going well... until he screws over Reeve and Reeve threatens exposure and ruin of Theo's life. Then, Kitsey, whom he's marrying out of obligation (because he thinks he owes the Barbours his life despite being distant and doesn't want to lose their friendship, as it proves he's respectable). And Pippa can't see a future with him that doesn't involve being trapped in her past. So, guess who shows up again, even cooler than before but suave and mature now, ready to help him cope with familiar company and more drugs.

(I gotta stop posting on my phone or at 3am because of all the edits I have to mak—)

Now, what about the painting? Well... somewhere, in the haze of drugs, alcohol, and grief, I think Theo either suspects it was stolen but was incapacitated/way too high as a child to verify this and then too scared to believe this as an adult, hence not unwrapping it for eight years due to a guilty consciousness the more the gravity of what he's taken presses on him; or he neglected it completely by mistake and he doesn't realize it was stolen at all. Mysteriously, Boris claims after Theo left and then Boris's father "left him", he fell in with Mr. Silver and Xandra, has done almost as well (if not better in life than Theo) for himself through a life of organized crime and dealing, and apparently used the painting for collateral on deals. This excuse—Boris's "cool," vague explanation of his disappearance and survival before arriving to New York—is eerie for three reasons:

• first, if Theo suspects it was stolen, the first people who'd have access to it still living are Xandra and Mr. Silver, and this may or may not have had to do with Theo possibly being abused (possibly SA'd) by one or both of them either out of spite or for money (particularly Silver, due to Theo's "good manners"). This could also explain why the film alluded to Theo and Boris being sexually active at such a young age but never talking about or putting a name to these activities during the first half of their friendship.

• second, if he doesn't realize it was stolen, he blames "Boris" for it going missing when he reads about the painting being spotted in Florida. In reality, he could have misplaced it (or been doing these deals himself), and news of the painting's reappearance made its way to Florida. And

• third, it once again mirrors (through a darker, more tragic reflection) Theo's own survival through sales and vague connections, by reconnecting with Hobie and the Barbours; continual drug use to cope with people he can't stand; and making it in New York by lying and stealing—after his own father "left" him. He feels like a gangster, but Boris is a gangster.

Finally, he loses the painting and attempts suicide. All he's thinking about is his mother, but Boris (who shows no signs of injury after being f🤨king shot) pulls him back into the land of the living, explains all is well again, and that the painting he swears he was going to give back is suddenly in safe hands and they get to split the reward. All is well... right? Boris conveniently solves all his problems, without any apparent injury to himself, his business or reputation, or his feelings for Theo—it was all for Theo to be happy, again. He fixes things, cleanly, just like how Theo believed suicide would. It's like his entire life of hell just came to an end.

He can't write about any of this to Pippa or Andy (while he was alive), and Andy and Mr. Barbour have drowned in a storm, but Boris understands who Theo is when he's not playing Gatsby with pills and clients. He's the only one who knows about the painting. He even held on to memory of Tom Cable being an asshole to Theo. Boris is the only one who treats him normally, but most of his time spent with Boris is under a dusty haze of secrets, drugs, and alcohol.

Sounds an awful lot like Lily and Nina when Nina's life is falling to pieces. Boris flickers in and out of life the same way. I can't tell if this flickering is all a coincidence and Theo found his soulmate in Boris or if he's a manifestation of Theo's unresolved grief, fears, addictions, debts, and repressed desires. Narratively at least, Boris is a dark reflection of himself—something Theo uses to convince himself that he might have done bad things but he's still a good person, something he might have become but didn't, something that pushes him to keep going despite his awful circumstances, and something he makes peace with at the end of the film.

#boris pavlikovsky #theodore decker #boreo #the goldfinch #lily x nina #black swan #I'm in love with this movie #send halp

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eretzyisrael · 11 months ago

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Opinion

By MICHAEL KAYE Published: FEBRUARY 28, 2024 03:04 THE WRITER speaks at a marketing conference in New York City wearing a #EndJewHatred T-shirt.(photo credit: COURTESY MICHAEL KAYE)

It’s been almost five months since October 7, a day that completely changed the lives of more than 15 million Jews around the world. But the aftermath of the attack is still present, months later. In many ways, it feels as though this nightmare just happened, while at other moments, it’s hard to remember what life was like before that day of terror.

I am not fluent in Hebrew. I do not wear a kippah. I have almost 30 tattoos. I am not your stereotypical Jew, but I have become a proud Jewish activist. But October 7 changed me, as it did many others. Who I was before is someone I can never be again. I cannot be complicit or silent. I donate to the Anti-Defamation League; I speak at conferences wearing an #EndJewHatred T-shirt; I never leave home without Jewish-themed jewelry; and I use my social media platforms to discuss the rising antisemitism on college campuses across the United States and around the world.

As someone who was educated at a Jewish school and learned about the Holocaust, I am no stranger to antisemitism or the dangerous impact it can have. My earliest memories include being taught by my parents to be proud but quiet about my Judaism, having swastikas carved on my school playground, being immediately evacuated on September 11, and always leaving my Star of David at home when traveling.

During my childhood and teenage years, I heard from and met many Holocaust survivors, including Elie Wiesel. I listened to their stories about how the world remained silent.

Today, it feels like the beginning of a second Holocaust. That is why I cannot remain silent.

A scary time to be Jewish

For this Jewish New Yorker, it’s a scary time to be Jewish. The American Jewish Committee’s State of Antisemitism in America report found that 93% of American Jews surveyed think antisemitism is a problem in the United States and 86% believe antisemitism in the country has increased over the past five years.

In November, I attended the March for Israel in Washington. Around me were Jewish people from Atlanta, Chicago, Houston, New Orleans, Philadelphia, Richmond, San Diego, and Queens. A man from Brooklyn put tefillin (phylacteries) on me; it was the first time I had worn tefillin in almost 20 years. I even got to meet Julia Haart and Miriam Haart from Netflix’s My Unorthodox Life, who grew up in a religious community not too far from me. While there, I realized this gathering had the most Jews I’ve been around since I was in Israel in 2006. It was the safest I had felt in years. But there were also allies, including Congressman Ritchie Torres and CNN contributor Van Jones. That day reminded me of why I am proud to be Jewish and why I cannot be silent about my Judaism any longer.

Since October 7, I have lost hundreds of followers on social media. I have received anti-Israel and anti-Jewish messages, even threats. But I am not alone. The AJC found that six in 10 people have come across antisemitic content online, and 78% of American Jews feel less safe as Jews in the United States since that horrific day.

To many of us, the current climate feels different. We’re feeling angry, confused, and isolated. In my lifetime, I have watched the nation unite after domestic and foreign terrorist attacks, social justice actions, and wars. Rarely, outside of politics, have I seen us this divided: the Jewish community against everyone else. Overnight, people who had never spoken about any Middle Eastern wars became experts on the conflict. Disinformation spread like wildfire across social media, and much of it felt aimed at damaging or discrediting Jews and Zionists. Almost immediately after October 7, it was not only taboo to express sympathy for the Israelis who were captured or murdered; it was discouraged and forbidden, often met with attacks, both physical and verbal.

BUT THROUGH these painful months, there have also been glimmers of light.

During this period of mourning, I have watched people of all backgrounds come together – to educate, to grieve, to hope, and to pray. A Christian connection on social media thanked me for sharing educational resources. Jewish friends from elementary school and high school reached out. A Muslim friend held my hand as I cried, and another has been checking on me periodically for months. These are the moments I have chosen to cling to.

Our future is not where one side loses and another wins. It’s where we all unite.

The writer is an award-winning communications strategist, data storyteller, purpose-driven marketer, and educator based in New York City. He often speaks about antisemitism, LGBTQ+ rights, and social justice issues.

#Israel #antisemitism #israel hamas war

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