#saddo alert

[writing-for-life]

After all that new content, it is abundantly clear now:

I definitely crush on Dream (even more specifically Morpheus, because poor Daniel—nah), not Tom. He’s still not doing it for me when he’s not in character (and then he does!). I’m sorry, I’m trying, but… nope. He’s a nice guy and all, nothing wrong with him. My ovaries still say no. It’s me, it’s entirely me.

But now I wonder what’s worse 😂😂😂

Forgive the random shitpost, it’s been a long week…

[soupforsoup]

Fifth tardis team dvd commentary moments that kill me (with honourary colin baker):

*the doctor walks out in a dressing gown*

Peter Davison: *chanting* sexual awakening sexual awakening sexual awakening

Sarah Sutton: sexual awakening alert

Janet Fielding: personally I'm going to sleep

.

The Doctor: "[a steam train]... I always wanted to drive one when I was a boy"

Matthew Waterhouse: DiD yOu ReAllY?? A sTeAm TrAiN?? oN gALLiFrEY???

Everyone else: *losing their shit*

.

Peter: what is that you're holding there?

Matthew: my, my belt thing! My rope belt

Peter: ohhhhh, trousers have fallen down

*Adric literally dies in an explosion*

Janet: *about pockets* nothing to put your hands in now!

Matthew: no hands either!

.

*the cyberman leader is threatening Tegan*

Peter: oh to hell with it, kill her

.

Peter: oh the waitress has just stepped in! Uh should you be sitting down, waitress?

"Waitress" Janet: they're picking on me! I haven't even started yet and you're picking on me!

.

Janet: have I just walked into the middle of two saddo middle-aged men talking about who they fancy?

Peter: yep. yep.

Colin Baker: and funnily enough, your name didn't come up

Janet: thank god I haven't had breakfast

.

Peter: we've managed to kill off Adric

Sarah: yep, we've dumped Tegan

Peter: and uh, lose Tegan at heathrow airport... Result!!

.

Colin: last time I saw you lying on the ground like that, you turned into me!

Peter: fate worse than death Colin

.

Janet: *about a piece of set with a green light coming from it* are you cooking something? Nyssa's making a pot of soup

Sarah: cabbage soup!

Janet: broccoli and stilton!

.

Janet: I think I was very mean to you on this story Matthew, I took to calling you "boom-boom waterhouse"

Matthew: what?

Peter: *wheezing the whole time*

Sarah: oh yeah, of course and the other one was, "matte-finish"

Janet: *laughing* oh yeah!

Matthew: I don't remember any of this!

.

Cyberman in the episode: *about the doctor* "the tall one with the fair hair"

Everyone: *dying*

Janet: and the highlights!

Sarah: the highlights yeah, with the expensive highlights!

Peter: *imitating the cybermen* and the blush on the cheeks

Matthew: *also imitating the cybermen* and the fake tan

.

Sarah: That’s the trouble with all this chat, I can’t listen to the programme, find out what’s going on.

Matthew: You’re not missing much.

[nextinline-if]

I'm sorry people have been treating you so horribly lately, Vi. You're a kind person and a talented writer and seeing alerts from either of your blogs always makes me happy. Don't forget that you can always take a step back if things get to be too much.

Your words are very kind and I'll do my best to be worthy of them <3

And no worries about the messages, I'd rather they be sent to me than someone who they could cause a lot of harm to. I can take it. But I appreciate the reminder. I'm in a good place.

And if I feel the need to step back, there won't be any hesitation. It's kind of nice to just take a break from the internet as a whole and do your own thing. I spend a lot less time online than before. I spend a lot more time writing, speaking to my friends, playing solo games, and annoying my husband. :)

But while I am here, I'll keep annoying some entitled saddos who don't like me speaking my mind. <3

Anyway, thank you again for the lovely message. It was really thoughtful of you to send that and I hope you have the best weekend. Hopefully I can post some good update news on my blogs soon ;D

[unhingedwomandiaries]

Made Korean corn dogs today because apparently, I've lost the fucking plot entirely. Spent three hours watching YouTube videos like some saddo until corn dogs stopped being food and started being an existential crisis with a stick up its arse.

Couldn't find cornmeal because of course I fucking couldn't – this is Britain, where corn-based products go to die. Used cornflour instead because what's the worst that could happen? (Spoiler alert: everything. Everything could happen.) It's like substituting Special Brew for champagne and pretending you're still living your best life.

Then there's the whole baking soda mess. American versus British like some culinary West Side Story, except instead of dancing and knives, it's just me having a breakdown in Tesco. Ended up using pancake batter because at this point, why not take a massive shit on authenticity?

Wrapped the hot dogs in cheese like I was dressing them for a budget movie shoot. Then dipped them in batter and rolled them in potato squares because apparently, I've got something to prove to the universe. Modern art meets mental breakdown, served on a stick.

The frying bit was proper poetry in motion – if by poetry you mean watching everything go tits up in slow motion. Those potato squares jumped ship faster than my ex after he found Jesus. Made me think about mattress suspenders, which probably means I should talk to a therapist.

Final result? Looked like something you'd find behind the bins at Wetherspoons at 3AM. The cheese had done a runner like it was escaping an abusive relationship. The potatoes looked like they'd survived Nam. And the whole thing tasted of avocado oil because I'm a pretentious twat who can't just use normal oil like a normal person.

Standing there, staring at my culinary crime against humanity, wondering if this is what the internet's done to us all. Are we just sad little wankers chasing TikTok trends like dogs chasing cars? Or is making a Korean-American corn dog in a British kitchen while having an existential crisis the height of cultural enlightenment?

Maybe some things should just stay at the fair, yeah? Like candy floss.

[kmp78]

New IG post alert 😁☝️ Please once again note the INCOGNITO MODE on this saddo's screen cap... 😂😂😂 I believe the correct term would be... PATHETIC.

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

Elanor liveblogs Pokemon Sun for a bit

We are at the sea port. Hau is Very Excited.

"Can you believe a big hunk of iron like Aether Paradise can float in the sea?!” he jabbers, bouncing around. “And it's all cuz of the Pokémon holding it up. Did you know that, Elanor?"

There are not Pokemon holding it up you saddo. Stop believing what people down the pub tell you.

"Knew I could count on you to react!" he beams. "Ho, I can't wait to actually see inside Aether Paradise for myself!"

…you have got to stop calling people hoes.

We are arriving. It is a very big building, but I am very dubious, still.

"Here we are, you two,” Bean says grandly. “This is Aether Paradise."

It sure is. Too small for any serious conservation, though, isn’t it? Unless you stuck to one species.

"Aether Paradise is a facility created for the conservation of Pokémon,” he prattles on, ignoring me. “It has been outfitted with all of the latest technology for this purpose. Downstairs, our teams work on developing new Poké Balls and more.”

What, for - ?

“Yes, all for the sake of Pokémon conservation," he snaps irritably, and pauses. "Though you will not be able to use any of your Poké Balls within Aether Paradise. A jamming signal is broadcast throughout the facility to prevent them from functioning."

… I am increasingly suspicious of this place.

A lady has arrived from a needlessly fancy lift.

"Excuse me, Mr. Faba..." she says politely. He immediately sulks.

"Yes, excuse you! What is the meaning of that form of address? I have a title for a reason! How else will anyone know how important I am?"

HAHA I mean he’s so evil but I am so on board with this guy. He is fantastic.

"Yes... Branch Manager Faba..."

THAT IS THE WORST TITLE

"Now, I must go speak with the president about our conservation efforts on Akala...” Bean says importantly. “Show these children around, and then take them to meet the president as well."

He leaves. Apparently, whatever this nice lady wanted from him is going to have to wait.

"Phew..." she mutters, and quickly turns to us. "Welcome to Aether Paradise, Elanor and Hau. My name is Wicke."

We wave. I am used to this by now. Everyone knows us, look. They aren’t even pretending anymore. They already know our names even, look.

"Wait?” Hau says, suddenly alert. “You know who we are? How'd you know that?!"

Ah. He’s catching on! My baby is growing up.

"One of our employees told me about your meeting on Akala Island,” Wicke says vaguely, before switching to flattery. “And of course, I heard how you helped protect the Pokémon there, too, young Mr. Hau. Thank you very much! Let me show you around. The main entrance is up above us. Shall we zip right up there?"

This lift is needlessly fancy. You should have spent the money on better conservation.

"This is the main entrance,” she says, ignoring me. “You can have your Pokémon taken care of at the reception desk there, if they need it."

Fancy. Lots of glass.

"Elanor?” Wicke says, tentatively, as Hau runs off to look. “You and Hau are both trial-goers, aren't you? Are you hoping to become champions? I suppose... You must be around 11, then?"

Ha yeah seriously though how do you know we’re trial goers?

"Yeah, I took the first chance I had to join in the island challenge once I turned 11!” Hau says excitedly as he runs back, probably after noticing that this is a boring floor that just contains a reception desk and also, just incidentally, completely interrupting my question. “'Cause, someday, I really want to be able to beat my gramps...but he's way too strong!"

"How...how lovely for you,” Wicke manages. Is that a sneer I hear? “I suppose all children must yearn to take a journey of their own choosing when they get to be about your age. Though you're hardly just children anymore. Trainers are like parents to their Pokémon!"

… people in this organisation seem weirdly obsessed with constantly asserting the difference between adults and children. Like, I completely agree that 11 is remarkably young to go gallivanting unsupervised around the country and taking on criminal organisations armed only with a bag of rats and a sentient magnet, but seriously. This is patronising.

"Elanor. Hau. Would you two like to see the conservation area upstairs?" Wicke says brightly. "We'll zip right up!"

Okay, now we’re talking! Talking SHIT CONSERVATION FACILITIES, that is. There’s like. Five Pokemon here. This place is mostly walkways, so the pens themselves are fragmented and small. There’s little in the way of enrichment, and the Pokemon can freely interact with people like it’s a goddamned petting zoo.

This is a disgrace and you are definitely evil.

“Wow!” says Hau, who doesn’t know about conservation.

“We keep Pokémon that have been targeted by Team Skull here...” Wicke says pleadingly, trying to mollify my death stare. “And we also try to support Pokémon that need a little extra protection. Like Corsola, for example. They are quite terribly overhunted by a Pokémon called Toxapex."

Ooh, really? This is a bit more like it.

"I hope you don't mind if I read a passage from my Pokédex,” Wicke says, because she doesn’t actually know this shit herself, evidently. ""Toxapex... Toxapex crawls along the ocean floor on its 12 legs. It leaves a trail of Corsola bits scattered in its wake.""

HAHA TOXAPEX IS A TRAWLER I’M SCREAMING

"Yeah,” says Hau. “My gramps is always saying that nature's got its cruel side, sure as it gives us blessings. But can the Aether Foundation really protect all the Pokémon that're out there?"

"Nature does have its own balance, of course,” Wicke says, not precisely answering the question. “It can be difficult to judge just how much we humans should try to affect it, can't it?"

I mean, that is the very first debate any conservationist has, especially when setting up an entire organisation like this, and you should have a company policy for that very issue by now. What the fuck.

"That's pretty amazing!” says Hau disarmingly. “The Aether Foundation seems awesome. But why'd you bother setting up a branch in a place like Alola?!"

Oh… oh good boy. That is a good question. Well done, Hau! What a good spy.

"I couldn't say...” Wicke says vaguely. “It's hard to know for sure what our president is thinking sometimes. If you'd like to meet President Lusamine, she should be here in the conservation area now."

She’s a lackey. Let’s find the boss, is it?

[thatnerdgirl7]

Not just American...this is all stuff I remember growing up in Scottish high school too.

Don't forget:

Alerting every person in the classroom/corridors like a messenger from God about a fight that was happening nearby.

Knowing that while your toilets were shite, the teachers ones were clean and smelled of yer granny's house.

Lassies that put so much contour and foundation on their faces and hitching their skirts up to half-mast so that the looked like kinky oompa-loompas.

Lads that always wore hoodies. Always. They took that shit seriously. They would go to school looking all proper, but sneak an Adidas hoodie in their bag.

The smell of Lynx body spray/Dove. Every class someone would pull it out and start spraying themselves like they had run a marathon. You can't get that sweaty doing sums.

Kids that were such a liability or danger to other pupils, their parents were never away from school

Being aware that there was a difference between the "cool nerds" and the "nerds." Cool nerds were never bothered by the popular pupils because they were always surrounded by a group of friends and didn't do anything out of the norm. Nerds were the "saddos" that locked themselves in the bathroom to read a book and whose interests were deemed "cringey," (I think in most people's books I was the latter because I was into anime and that.)

The one kid that walked into class high off his tits 90% of the time

Bizzare Assemblies where local pastors would come to talk to you about God and you'd would have to sing songs, but no one would know the words.

Scary AF Assemblies about youth knife crime in Scotland presented by the local police.

Witnessing or being a victim of bullying towards the Eastern European/Jewish/Muslim/African/Roma kids.

Reading the insightful words scrawled in pencil under yer desk. "_____ iz a gayboy," "Mr ____can suck a dick."

Having a favourite bit of graffiti (mine was a lipstick stain on the wall of the bathroom, and a lass had written in biro next to it, "That's f***ing vile, whyy the f*** would ye KISS a toilet wall?"

Students sitting in the corridor with their legs stretched oot so ye'd have to awkwardly tiptoe over them, because they f***ing owned the place.

Teachers separated by two categories: The lads/pure gadges, and "stupit c****."

Being shown anti-drug/alcohol or sex ed videos in PSE with dialogue or animation so cringey that ye bloody wanted to down a bottle of Bucky or an alcopop or two just to escape it.

The mental case that thought he could jump up and hit the light but ended up nearly bringing the ceiling doon.

The burd who bragged aboot her boyfriend. Awright Helen, calm it doon, yer thirteen.

Alternatively the lout that bragged aboot his girlfriend. Jacob, we know ye didnae shag her, ye took one selfie together.

At the end of the year, all being warned by the teacher not to vote kids into illicit "Most Likely" categories after a Facebook group was published with ones like "Most Likely to End up Pregnant" and "Most Likely to contract an STD."

@kawaiimemetrash You know what I'm on about!

public high school things •naruto kids •kids punching windows •kahoot •"miss…..miss……c'mon" •leaks coming from everywhere •screams from every direction

[lovecleverbreadcollectorfan]

isaacashe published Breaking news, travel and weather updates around Notts on Friday,...

Welcome to our rolling live news blog for Friday, March 17. We'll be taking you through all the breaking stories in Nottinghamshire as they happen and look at some of the biggest news from across the region. You will also get up-to-the-minute traffic and travel alerts - just leave this page running in a tab and we'll ping when there's an update. Read more: Dad of five gets banned from school grounds after 'calling teacher a saddo' Today's forecast is for rain to arrive later today. After a...

from Nottingham Post All Content Feed http://www.nottinghampost.com/breaking-news-travel-and-weather-updates-around-notts-on-friday-march-17/story-30210402-detail/story.html

[thevolta]

Am I the only one who can't watch The Bachelor because they refuse to picture Spencer with anyone else but Caggie?