#sad music by jessica winter

[josephslittledeputy]

And every time I cried wolf, you had to call my bluff You'd start to call me more fashionable names

[iamlisteningto]

Jessica Winter’s More Sad Music

[jessicarivermusic]

The Beat of the Winter Drums by Jessica River. Here is the last sneak peek. Full Video: https://youtu.be/hA3udBTCZVE 🎼

[rabbitechoes]

the last full month of summer is HERE! august is going to be a busy month for new releases, especially on the album front, but i'm excited! hopefully i can stay on top of it all!!! there were some pretty noteworthy tracks released this week!! here are my thoughts on them!!! also feel free to follow me on rate your music and twitter <3

"Guess featuring Billie Eilish" - Charli xcx & Billie Eilish

◇ released: Aug. 1, 2024 ◇ genres: electro house, tech house

Charli xcx has returned with yet another remix of a song from her phenomenal album BRAT - which I'm sure everyone is well aware of by now. More specifically the track "Guess" from the deluxe edition with Billie Eilish sliding in for a lustful feature. I can't say it's my favorite track from either the record itself or its remixes, but it is certainly a fun time. Yet another example of how BRAT is having the best rollout of any album of the decade thus far. I truly can't wait to see what she has in store next, I don't see BRAT summer ending anytime soon - despite what Pitchfork says. It might even bleed into BRAT autumn maybe even BRAT winter.

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"FUKOUNA GIRL" - STOMACH BOOK

◇ released: Aug. 1, 2024 ◇ genres: indietronica, dance-punk, indie rock, dark cabaret

A few months removed from her sophomore record, STOMACH BOOK has returned with a new single. Crazy sounds on this one. A quirky blend of dance-punk and indietronica with some subtle hints of cabaret music. It feels like a circus! This kind of wacky blend of upbeat instrumentation with manic lyricism usually doesn't do much for me, but I think this song is a good time.

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"M" - Soccer Mommy

◇ released: Aug. 1, 2024 ◇ featured on Evergreen (not yet released) ◇ genres: indie pop, singer-songwriter

I remember loving Soccer Mommy's third record, Clean, when I was in high school, but her music just hasn't stuck with me at all. Her more recent records have all been good, but not great. I'm waiting for something to blow me away and unfortunately, "M" still leaves me waiting. It's a fine piece of singer-songwriter music, but nothing about it really leaves a lasting impression on me. It captures a vibe very well though. If you want some bittersweet music to feel sad to, she has you covered here. Maybe her upcoming album Evergreen will surprise me despite it all.

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"HIGHJACK" - A$AP Rocky feat. Jessica Pratt

◇ released: Aug. 2, 2024 ◇ featured on Don't Be Dumb (not yet released) ◇ genres: cloud rap, trap, memphis rap

I was not expecting this at all. I had to do a triple take when I saw that A$AP Rocky had a new single dropping that featured JESSICA PRATT. The same Jessica Pratt who makes the otherworldly folk and brill-building songs that sound completely removed from the current time? Apparently so. She absolutely kills it here and I hope this leads more people to listen to her music. Rocky puts in some really good verses too, I was impressed! You can also definitely tell this song was called "Like That," but it had to be changed for obvious reasons. Anyways, this is a totally unexpected collaboration that kinda knocked it out of the park.

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"GYAT" - Ice Spice

◇ released: Aug. 2, 2024 ◇ featured on Y2K! (Bonus) ◇ genres: new york drill, east coast hip hop

"GYAT" is the lone bonus track on the deluxe edition, of which there are many, of her new album Y2K! I don't even know what to say about this. Why is this a bonus track? The album is already like 23 minutes long and this is like definitely in-line with the rest of the tracks on the record. Why wasn't this just included? At the end of the day, this is just same old, same old Ice Spice. The only thing notable about this song is that it's the first time I've ever typed out the word "GYAT."

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"Liar" - Jelly Roll

◇ released: Aug. 2, 2024 ◇ genre: contemporary country

LEAVE ME ALONE!!!! IT'S LIKE HE'S FOLLOWING ME. WHY ARE YOU EVERYWHERE JELLY ROLL? WHAT DO YOU KNOW???

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"Here's the Thing" - Fontaines D.C.

◇ released: Aug. 6, 2024 ◇ featured on Romance (not yet released) ◇ genres: post-punk revival, alternative rock

Fontaines D.C. are three-for-three when it comes to the singles for their upcoming album. This one is definitely a bit more raucous than the previous, but it's just so enjoyable. The band really sound like they're onto something brilliant here. Just some endlessly enjoyable rock tunes that feel like they breeze past you while still leaving an impression. Lead vocalist Grian Chatten really shines here too. I'm loving these new songs and I can't wait to dive into Romance in a few weeks!

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"Once a Bunch" - Adrianne Lenker

◇ released: Aug. 6, 2024 ◇ genre: country, americana, singer-songwriter

Adrianne Lenker has returned with presumably a leftover from her excellent album Bright Future from a few months ago - still one of the best of the year. This one leans heavily into the country sound. Very raw, duet-driven country with some vivid songwriting that you can just close your eyes and dream to. Whenever I write about Lenker, I always have to say that she's one of the greatest songwriters of our time and "Once a Bunch" is yet another example. Loving this track to death.

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"Summer 2000 Baby" | "Take a Trip" - TV Girl & George Clanton

◇ released: Aug. 6, 2024 ◇ genre: chillwave, trip hop

Spotify algorithm core band TV Girl have teamed up with George Clanton to release perhaps their best material to date. Clanton's impeccable ear for great sounds elevates these songs. A lot of "vibe" songs just float past you leaving you nothing of substance, but most things Clanton gets his fingers on just have a kick to them. You just get lost in his songs and these two are no different. "Summer 2000 Baby" is an upbeat jam and "Take a Trip" is much more chilled-out, but both are pretty great. If you're looking for some late-summer tunes, TV Girl and George Clanton made a gift just for you.

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"Continuum 1" - Nala Sinephro

◇ released: Aug. 7, 2024 ◇ featured on Endlessness (not yet released) ◇ genres: nu jazz, ambient

Nala Sinephro is returning soon with a brand new album, the follow-up to her great debut Space 1.8 from 2021. This lead single features black midi's Morgan Simpson on drums and James Mollison on saxophone. This is a great cut. Builds very nicely on the foundation set by her debut while throwing in new bits that make things feel fresh. I especially love the oscillating synths towards the end and how they pair with Mollison's saxophone. If this song is any indication, we're in for a treat when Endlessness drops.

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"INSTANT TRANSFER" - E L U C I D feat. billy woods

◇ released: Aug. 7, 2024 ◇ featured on Revelator (not yet released) ◇ genres: experimental hip hop, abstract hip hop

ELUCID and billy woods reunite for this single taken from the former's upcoming album. These two just have some of the strongest chemistry of any rap duo in recent memory. "INSTANT TRANSFER" is an intense banger with an almost ominous beat. It's arresting, like a lot of their work is. I'm not super well-versed with ELUCID's solo work, but I'll definitely have to give this record a listen when it drops.

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"Lullaby" - Ichiko Aoba

◇ released: Aug. 8, 2024 ◇ featured on Luminescent Creatures (not yet released) ◇ genres: chamber folk, singer-songwriter

No surprises here. This new Ichiko Aoba song is stunning. You know what you're in for when you dive into one of her songs, yet it never ceases to amaze. She writes some of the most gorgeous, serene, and intricate songs you will ever hear. Everything sounds meaningful. Every word she sings, every note she strums, every piece of the arrangement has a purpose. All of this to say, "Lullaby" is amazing and I can't wait for whatever we hear from her next.

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"Coyote (Live at the Forum, Montreal, QC, Canada 12/4/1975)" - Joni Mitchell

◇ released: Aug. 8, 2024 ◇ featured on Joni Mitchell Archives, Vol. 4: The Asylum Years (1976-1980) (not yet released) ◇ genres: progressive folk, singer-songwriter

Joni Mitchell is preparing to release another volume in her Archives series, this one focusing on her material from the late 70s. This excites me as Hejira is my favorite work of hers and I'm stoked to hear more stuff from that era. The first taste we're getting is this early live performance of "Coyote," one of her best songs. There's an urgency to this version, it's just Joni and her guitar. No Jaco Pastorius bass playing to be found. It's an interesting version, but if you're not a Joni superfan like I am, your mileage may vary.

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"For Cryin' Out Loud!" - FINNEAS

◇ released: Aug. 8, 2024 ◇ featured on For Cryin' Out Loud (not yet released) ◇ genres: pop rock, indie pop

I've never really listened to FINNEAS' work outside of his work with his sister Billie Eilish and sadly I can't say I'm too impressed by this new track, the lead single to his upcoming album. It certainly sounds great, everything has a punch to it, but nothing else stands out. It plays into the tropes you would expect. The horn arrangements are also a bit flimsy, which is wild because everything else has a bite! That should too! This song is just fine at best.

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"Sunshine" - Kelly Lee Owens

◇ released: Aug. 8, 2024 ◇ featured on Dreamstate (not yet released) ◇ genres: progressive house, progressive trance

I lose track of Kelly Lee Owens every couple years, but I managed to catch this new single "Sunshine." This is a pretty good house cut, really showcasing her talents as a producer. Everything sounds so euphoric, very easy to get lost in, which is a quality I admire in a lot of house music. I want the music to sweep me off my feet. One of these days I need to go back through and catch up on her stuff.

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"Don't Get Me Started" - The Smile

◇ released: Aug. 8, 2024 ◇ genres: indietronica, ambient pop, post-punk

The Smile have returned months removed from their second album with a new single. "Don't Get Me Started" sees the band getting very electronic with it, which does obscure some of the best aspects of the band, but it's still a pretty solid track. I always love how Thom Yorke sounds against very electronic sonic palettes, so this is like ear candy for me. Who knows if this is just a throwaway or a teaser to yet another album from the band? Either way, this side-project continues to be very fruitful for everyone involved.

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"Lifetimes" - Katy Perry

◇ released: Aug. 8, 2024 ◇ featured on 143 (not yet released) ◇ genres: dance-pop, garage house, diva house

After her last single "Woman's World" crashed and burned, Katy Perry is back with the second single to her new album, 143 - her big play at being relevant once again. Unfortunately for her, "Lifetimes" is a miss as well. I've seen the word "stale" be thrown around in regard to these new songs and I couldn't agree more. Her desire for this to be a comeback for her is so noticeable for any listener with half of a brain that it reeks of desperation. This is the album rollout equivalent of the Titanic sinking.

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"People Need People" - JOBA

◇ released: Aug. 9, 2024 ◇ featured on unnamed JOBA album (not yet released) ◇ genres: baroque pop, psychedelic pop, piano rock

BROCKHAMPTON alumni JOBA has released another really good single in anticipation for his debut solo project. This shift into more traditional pop sounds doesn't sound like it should work on paper, but he pulls it off very well. "People Need People" ditches the glam rock of the previous single in favor of more mellow baroque and psychedelic pop. The string arrangements and those bouncy synth riffs during the second verse are also very nice touches. This is a really good track, I can't wait to hear what else he has in store for us. JOBA is making the most interesting solo music out of all of his former boyband members.

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100 GIGS - Drake

◇ released: Aug. 10, 2024 ◇ genres: pop rap, trap, atlanta bass

When I saw the words "Drake" and "100 GBs" in the same headline, I feared for the worst. Luckily, he just dumped 100 GBs of stuff onto the internet. This includes songs, videos, unused album art, and a whole bunch of stuff. Three of those songs made their way to streaming and they're all pretty unremarkable. "It's Up" sounds the most finished and it features 21 Savage as well as Young Thug, it's nothing stand out though. The other two tracks feel pretty lazy, rife with boring hooks and poor mixing. Definitely sounds like stuff that needed more time in the oven. I don't really know what his rationale was for dumping all of this on us, but it certainly isn't the best look after the beef he decisively lost against Kendrick Lamar over the last few months.

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[snoozingbear]

i’ll make it through by listening to sad music! sad music!

[underachievers-please-try-harder]

Track of the day // Jessica Winter - I Think You’re Going To Hurt Me (So Bad)

From the EP More Sad Music, out October 29th via Roya.

[wanderlustita]

Listen/purchase: Sad Music by Jessica Winter

I fucking love this artist. So good.

[obscurest-reference]

there's so much to impact so i'll just go down the list of whats been announced (and leaked)

Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania (Feb 17, 2023)

i have no thoughts on this movie. i am excited for more Kang lore and for Cassie to be a bug (?) but that's about it. i hope Luis returns

Secret Invasion (Spring 2023)

okay so i get the Skrulls and Kree mixed up but after googling it i now remember the difference

i am honestly really excited for more Fury and Maria. i miss Fury and Maria had so much potential so i'm just. i'm vibing with this one

Guardians of the Galaxy vol. 3 (May 5, 2023)

i'm only slightly more excited for this one than for Quantumania

i do remember hearing that this'll be basically the end of the GotG (feel free to correct me if i'm wrong) so i'm kinda sad but if it's anything like the other two films i'm so ready for this one

Echo (Summer 2023)

FUCK.

I'M SO

FUUUUUUUCK

Jessica Jones better show up at the end of this one >:(

but in all seriousness Echo seems like a really cool character and I can't wait to see and learn more about her (and see more of Fisk?)

Loki s2 (Summer 2023)

The Marvels (July 28, 2023)

I heard it was gonna be part musical?? idk i'm not looking forward to that part. could work with Joker but not with the Marvels, sorry

but! i am excited to see more Maria and Kamala

my theory is that Carol found the second bangle and that's how her and Kamala switched places

Blade (Nov 3, 2023)

tbh i know nothing about Blade other than he hunts vampires and Eternals was supposed to set this up

and also that there was already a Blade movie

should i watch the old Blade movie? was it good?

imagine if he kills Morbius in the movie.

Ironheart (Fall 2023)

i'm actually pretty excited for this one despite hardly knowing anything about the character!!

i know Riri is gonna be in Black Panther II so i bet it'll set this show up

Agatha: Coven of Chaos (Winter 2023/Early 2024)

ok imma be honest, i think i'm least excited for this one

idk! i liked Agatha as a one-off villain, i didn't really see her character going anywhere after WandaVision

i have no idea whats gonna happen in this show. is her husband finally gonna show up or

Daredevil: Born Again (Spring 2024)

- HOLY FUCKING SHIT

I'M SO FUCKING

I WANT TO PUKE (/pos)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Captain America: New World Order (May 3, 2024)

FINALLY MY BOY SAM IS GETTING THE RECOGNITION HE DESERVES

I'M SO EXCITED FOR THIS ONE

i really fucking hope Bucky doesn't die, not only because he's been my comfort character for 8 years, but because i also want him to be in

Thunderbolts (July 26, 2024)

okay okay so i skimmed the wiki page for 616 Thunderbolts and this is the group i wanna see:

Zemo and Bucky as reluctant and hateful co-leaders (or one or the other as the leader, but i def want both to be in it)

John Walker as U.S. Agent and Yelena Belova as the Black Widow

(these four alone are such a fun combination and i cannot express how much i want them to be a group)

Kate Bishop (and maybe even Clint Barton!) as Hawkeye

bonus ones that don't make sense but would be fun: Taskmaster and Ghost

also, i know Val was Madame Hydra, but considering how she went to both John and Yelena, what if she's putting together the Thunderbolts?

Fantastic Four (Nov 8, 2024)

IF JOHN KRASINSKI ISNT MR FANTASTIC I DONT WANT IT!!!!!!

if Krasinski is Mr. Fantastic can Emily Blunt be Sue Storm pls

oh i'll also take it if Joe Keery is Human Torch

if none of those people are in the cast then I Don't Want It

Avengers: Kang Dynasty (May 2, 2025)

holy fucking SHIT

Avengers: Secret Wars (Nov 7, 2025)

I really really fucking hope this isnt supposed to be a sequel to Kang Dynasty

but!

i am!

very!

fucking!

excited!

Other thoughts on other announcements/leaks

after seeing the full She-Hulk trailer, i can safely say i am now more excited for this one than i previously was (it was the one i was least excited for lmao)

when is the black panther trailer supposed to drop i thought it was gonna get released like an hour ago sobs

no?? no Shang-Chi or Moon Knight news?? none?? come on Marvel y'all know those are the best ones. you can admit it.

i'm so fucking excited for Marvel: Zombies too i know that show is gonna be ELITE

so Spider-Man: Freshman Year is just gonna be another Spider-Man show i guess?? got me thinking it would be canon to the MCU

and i guess X-Men 97 is just a continuation of the 90s animated show so i'll have to watch that. it looks goofy and fun though

the Multiverse Saga. what a fucking power play

[staticscreenwriting]

LOVE LIKE THE MOVIES // BUCKY BARNES // 4

Four - Casablanca

Masterlist

Summary: This is a story of boy meets girl. The boy, Bucky Barnes, finds himself thrown into a world that seems so different from everything he’s ever known. The girl, (Y/N) knows entirely too much about rom-coms and is quite particular about the way she eats her popcorn. Bucky meets (Y/N) a few months after returning to NYC. He knows almost immediately that becoming her friend is inevitable. This is a story of boy meets girl. This is a story about love. (Bucky Barnes x female!Reader // a few spoilers for TFATWS)

“ You dressed up! “

God damnit. He should’ve known. He really should’ve. Sam stands by his side, shit-eating grin splitting his face in two. He should’ve just worn a plain sweater and no one would’ve commented on it.

But then would she look at him with that joyful sparkle in her eyes and that gorgeous smile? Maybe the little dressing up that he did do, and all the teasing comments from Sam, are worth it if means she’ll look at him like that.

“I didn’t dress up.” Doesn’t mean he has to admit it. No now, not ever.

“ Uh, your jeans are cuffed. You’ve never done that!” (Y/N) points out to which Sam chimes in with a loud “that’s what I said!” words dripping with amusement.

“ It’s just my jeans, it’s not a big deal.”

“ And you quiffed your hair!”

Bucky glances towards Sam who stands beside him with the biggest smile any person has ever displayed in all the times humans have walked this earth. His joy at Bucky’s obvious discomfort knowing no boundaries and, if it weren’t at his own expense, Bucky would even find Sam’s amusement quite contagious.

“ You totally did! He totally did! I didn’t even notice. Hi,” he says and shakes (Y/N)’s hand “ I’m Sam.”

“ So nice to meet you, Sam. And you dressed up too! As a sexy Ghostbuster!”

Bucky can basically feel Sam’s ego inflate at those words and he knows, for a fact, he’ll never hear the end of it.

“ That’s right! I am a sexy Ghostbuster. Not a regular one. That’s exactly what I was going for, thank you. Man, I love her already.” Sam says, directed at both, (Y/N) but mostly at Bucky.

“ You look lovely too, by the way,” Sam points out and for the first time since they arrived, Bucky gives himself a moment to take her in entirely. Not just the little things, the twinkle in her eyes, the warm radiance of her smile. Her. All of her.

The blue and white checkered pinafore dress she’s wearing reaches down to her knees, her legs are covered by white knee-high socks and at her feet, a pair of ruby red heels sparkle as the light reflects against them.

She looks beautiful but what really makes Bucky’s heart skip just a tiny fraction of a beat is the fact that he knows who she’s supposed to be and, whether she did it purposefully or not doesn’t matter, he feels included for the first time in so long.

“ You’re Dorothy.” his lips produce words that his brain didn’t sign off on. They just slip out. They hold so much weight that even if he’d acted fast enough, he doesn’t think he would’ve been able to hold them back. They’re so seemingly insignificant but they hold a meaning that Bucky isn’t sure anyone will ever fully comprehend. Steve would’ve but Steve is — not here.

He hopes (Y/N) understands even a small fraction of what it means to him. And when she smiles, he thinks she might.

“ I am. Do you like it?”

“ You look beautiful. “ And she does. She really does.

Sam is grinning away like he’s just heard the best news and Bucky isn’t sure if he prefers this to his outright laughter at his discomfort or not. This smirk seems like some inside joke Bucky doesn’t get. Like Sam knows something he doesn’t.

“ Can I get you guys something to drink? Beers? “

“ That would be great “ Sam replies.

“ Grumpy? “

“ Sure.”

He can’t get drunk, that’s one of the little things the Serum changed about him. It’s not like he’s here to get drunk anyway but to feel the enthusiastic buzz that alcohol can wash through your system, would be nice. He hardly remembers what that felt like.

He’s gonna drink some beer either way though. It gives him the feeling of fitting in, of belonging with the crowd. Even if he knows that’s one big lie. Sometimes you have to lie to yourself to keep your heart from breaking.

Kim isn’t a friend. Not really. She’s a friend of a friend who somehow always tags along whenever (Y/N)’s friend group gets together. She’s never actually invited but she’s always there anyway. Tonight is no exception.

She’s dressed in some kind of last-minute DIY deer costume, one of those that have been popular a few years back on Youtube, and the way she smirks at (Y/N) as she enters the kitchen already makes the metaphorical alarm bells go off in (Y/N)’s head.

“ So, I didn’t know you know celebrities. “

“ What are you talking about, Kim? “

“ Oh, you know! “ Kim announces and slides up next to (Y/N), casually leaning against the kitchen counter. “ Do you think he can do some cool tricks with his metal arm? “

“ Who are you talking about? “

Obviously (Y/N) is well aware of who Kim is talking about. There’s only so many people with metal arms and only one of them finds himself at this very party. Still, she doesn’t give Kim the satisfaction of reacting to her ridiculous comment. Maybe, (Y/N) naively hopes, repeating her question will make Kim realize just how rude and offensive her words really are.

“The winter soldier! Who else. That’s him, isn’t it? “

“ No.”

“ You sure? I’m pretty certain that’s him.”

“ His name is Bucky!” (Y/N) clarifies, fixing Kim with a stare that conveys just how serious this is to her. “ And he is not some kind of circus freak or entertainer or something. He is my friend. “

Kim shrugs her shoulders so casually that it sends shivers of red hot rage through (Y/N)’s body. The audacity of this woman. “ Okay sure but he is the Winter Soldier, right? I don’t know why you’re acting so sensitive right now. Chill, girl.”

“ Fuck you, Kim. You are so disrespectful towards my friend. He’s so sweet and genuine and wonderful and he deserves to be seen for all that he is. He is not here for you to stare at like a caged animal and he sure as hell ain’t here to be reminded of his painful past. If you can’t treat him like a normal person, please leave. “

There’s a look on Kim’s face that (Y/N) hasn’t seen on her before. One of utter disbelief. One that lets her know that this was the last thing Kim was expecting. And for a little moment, a huge wave of triumphant enthusiasm crashes over her.

“ Whatever.” is all Kim replies once the shock has settled. With a pout on her lips, she shuffles out of the kitchen and back into the crowd. (Y/N) can’t tell for sure if she’s leaving but there’s no doubt in her mind that at least she won’t be harassing Bucky anytime soon.

A bitter taste settles on (Y/N) tongue, as she thinks about Kim’s words again. About the sick and twisted thoughts that reduce Bucky to little more than a human animatronic. It’s disgusting and so so sad and she just hopes Bucky hasn’t heard her say those things.

As she steps out of the kitchen and rounds the corner though, her hopes are squashed. There’s the usual pain on his face, the one that’s perpetually etched into his features as Bucky leans against the wall. But mixed in between, there’s something else. A confusing mess of emotions she can’t quite place. She knows though. He’s heard every last word.

“ Robin came over, started talking to Sam about some band I don’t know. Thought I’d come see if you need some help. “

“ Bucky, I — “

“ It’s fine.” He interrupts her. (Y/N) doesn’t think it’s really fine. Sometimes people just get so used to saying they feel fine, they actually start believing it. Only fine is not something you want to feel forever, is it? Fine shouldn’t be a permanent state. Fine should be temporary. A path to good. To great. To happy.

“ You sure? “

“ Yeah. I uh — I appreciate what you said.”

“ Oh sure. And I meant it. You’re my friend and you deserve all the good things life has to offer.”

He doesn’t know if he agrees with that sentiment. No, in fact, he’s sure that he doesn’t agree. While he is free of the pain that bound him to Hydra, he will never be entirely free of the guilt his past has put on him. One, he thinks, makes him undeserving of so many things. Like friends. Like happiness. Like love.

And yet it’s nice to know that other people see in him what he may never see in himself.

“ Now let’s go rescue Sam before Robin ropes him into some kind of wedding preparations.”

She says, hands Bucky a bottle, and then grabs his free hand to pull him towards the other side of the room where Robin, dressed as Jessica Rabbit, gestures around wildly as she talks to Sam.

At first, (Y/N) doesn’t even realize it but then she notices that the hand holding hers feels different. It’s not as soft to the touch as a hand usually is. The glove is warm and smooth under her skin but she wishes she could touch the metal. It’s not some kind of weird, misplaced fetishization or some sensationalism. It’s the fact that the arm is a part of Bucky as much as his eyes or his smile or his perpetual grumpiness. And she wants to know every part of him for they make him who he is, and who he is is wonderful.

3 hours.

It’s been 3 hours since they arrived at the party. 3 hours of music he doesn’t get from artists he doesn’t know. 3 hours of staying painfully sober while everyone around him gets exponentially more drunk. 3 hours of pretending not to notice the looks he’s getting.

3 hours and then it got too much. He’s well aware that this isn’t his time. By all means, he shouldn’t be here. Not like this. Stuck in a body that doesn’t match his actual age. Forever reminded of the fact that he’s not meant to be here. Usually, he tries to ignore that. Tries to learn about new things, tries to understand.

This party puts a mirror right in front of his face though. Makes it painfully obvious that this is not where he belongs.

What a party pooper he is. He’d hate himself. If his old self could see him now, standing alone on a balcony because he didn’t like the music inside. His old self would think of him as a coward. His old self is probably right.

“ Grumpy, what are you doing out here, all by yourself?”

For a second the music from the inside spills through the doors and into the serene night, only to be cut off a second later when (Y/N) steps onto the balcony and closes the door behind her.

“ Are you not having fun? “

“ It’s not that. It’s just —”

Just what? Bucky has no idea how to put it into words. It’s moments like this one where having Steve around would be so helpful. He’d understand and he’d know what to say. Steve always knew what to say. Steve just didn’t know when to shut up.

“ You don’t have to explain yourself to me. Ever.” (Y/N) says and bumps him with her shoulder as she leans against him looking out at the New York skyline.

“ I appreciate it.”

“ I was hoping you’d like my costume,” (Y/N) confesses after a moment. “ I feel like I tell you so much about all these movies you missed out on and I don’t know, maybe it’s silly, but I wanted you to feel in the know for once. Does that make sense? “

Bucky bites his lip for everything he wants to say is not something you tell someone you’ve only just befriended a few weeks ago. Never has he felt the need to spill his heart, with all his sorrows and fears and dreams, to anyone. Not until tonight. But it’s too much to burden her with. He can hardly carry the weight himself. To put it on her would be an awfully selfish thing to do.

So he just nods his head and smiles and he says “thank you” like it doesn’t mean anything when really it means the world.

“ Okay well, since I can’t bring you to the party — “ (Y/N) says and fumbles her phone from her dress pocket “ — I’ll just have to bring the party to you.”

For a moment she just types away on the screen before a familiar tune sounds from the speakers of her phone. A familiar tune, to Bucky. One he remembers dancing to when he was a whole other man.

Glenn Miller’s Moonlight Cocktail fills the air and Bucky’s lips unwillingly lift into a smile.

“ If I remember correctly,” (Y/N) says and reaches out her hand to him “ you owe me a dance.”

Bucky laughs and shakes his head, but grabs a hold of her hand anyway “That’s not how it works. You can’t just say someone owes you something simply because you want it.”

She’s so close now. He can see the lights reflecting in her eyes, can feel her chest lift with every breath she takes.

Here’s the thing about loneliness. After a while, you get used to it. It becomes a part of your life, of yourself, like breathing and sleep. You don’t even realize that you’re missing something. Until one day you’re chest to chest with a beautiful girl who thinks you’re wonderful and worthy of her friendship. And it’s then that you realize how lonely you were and how much it hurts and how much you’ve been missing the touch of another.

“ I’ve always wanted to dance through the night. Ever since I’ve first seen Moulin Rouge in the cinema.” (Y/N) says and they start to slowly but surely sway to the music. It’s tentative steps at first, shy and unsure. Barely there moves but there after all.

Sometimes it’s enough for things to be small. The big moments, the important ones don’t need to be big at all. Some of the most important ones don’t demand a lot of space and yet they take up all the space in your heart.

“ Do you remember your first time seeing a movie at the cinema? “ she asks, looking up at him with her starlight eyes.

It’s not a memory he can recall. It’s one of those that have been lost in the shuffle. Like a sweater you love that’s been lost in the laundry or a picture frame gone missing during a move.

“ I don’t. I do remember my last trip to the cinema though.”

“Yeah? What was it?”

This memory is so vivid, it could’ve happened yesterday. He remembers the old dusty velvet seats. He remembers the propaganda spot shown before the movie, the one that put a feeling in his gut as if he’d just swallowed a sack of bricks, now knowing what was to happen but expecting it. He remembers Ruth Dillinger and her gorgeous blond hair and the way it smelled like soap and flowers. And he remembers the movie.

“ Casablanca. Saw it on a date with a girl.”

“ Aw, you took her on a movie date? Lucky girl. “

“ I don’t know if I’d go that far. I wasn’t half as respectable of a guy back then. Was more interested in sneaking a kiss in the dark than taking her to see a good movie. “

“ Did you do the whole, yawning-arm-around-the-shoulder thing?”

“ Obviously.”

“ Oh, you were just a regular casanova, Mr. Barnes? “

“ For sure. “

New York feels alive with the power of possibility. Of a night being more than a night. Of small moments being big and big moments being so tiny and intimate and small. New York feels alive with emotions. Ones Bucky doesn't understand and couldn’t understand. But either way, he feels happier in that tiny insignificant moment than he had in a long time.

“ I’ve never seen Casablanca.”

At that confession, Bucky pushes away from her a little so he can properly look at her, eyebrows raised in surprise.

“ What? It’s a classic. I have good reasons for not having seen most of your movie recommendations, what’s your excuse? “

She smiles bashfully and shrugs her shoulders “ I really don’t know. I just never got around to it. I feel like it’s such an important movie, it asks for a special occasion. Like seeing it at some fancy cinema or in concert or something. You know? “

Bucky only chuckles before pulling her close for another soft sway around the balcony.

Only the serenity doesn’t last very long as the aggressive drumming of some EDM song penetrates the quiet and Sam steps out onto the balcony.

“ Hi guys, uh — am I interrupting something ?”

“ No, no. That’s alright” (Y/N) exclaims, sounding a little flustered as she pulls away from Bucky and presses pause on her phone, plunging them all in silence.

“ I’m gonna get going in a moment. Need to catch an early flight tomorrow morning. “

“ Aw, so soon? Well okay but it was so nice to meet you Sam. You’re welcome at any future party or just drop in at the diner whenever you’re around.” (Y/N) says and pulls him into a hug.

“ I will don’t worry. Told you, I like you already.”

They share another quick hug before (Y/N) excuses herself to get Sam’s jacket from another room, leaving Sam and Bucky alone on the balcony.

“ Do not say a word!” Bucky orders as he notices yet another grin forming on Sam’s face.

“ I didn’t say anything.”

“ But you want to. I can see it.”

“ What would I possibly say, Buck? That you’ve got it bad? You know that yourself. “

“ It’s not like that.”

“ Okay, if you say so. “ Sam complies and lets another silence fall over them.

That’s until he speaks up yet again “ You dance. Man, I can’t believe it. Hey, can you waltz?”

“ Shut up! “

The party is slowly but surely winding down. A lot of people have left by now.

Some are asleep on the couch. On the floor. Against the wall.

A few are still lingering around, talking in low voices. Slurred words, tired eyes, light hearts.

Bucky tries not to step on anyone as he maneuvers his way around the apartment, trying to find the room where (Y/N) put all the jackets. It’s time for him to go, no matter how much he wants to hold onto the moment. He’s tired and the party is as good as over. And anyway, he hasn’t seen (Y/N) in a while.

“ Psst, Grumpy“

(Y/N) peeks out from behind a door, beckoning him closer. As he steps into the room he’s embraced by a warm amber glow coming from a string of fairy lights that frame one wall.

On her bed, (Y/N) sits and leans against the headboard, balancing a laptop on her legs. The wall behind her is covered in photographs. Some of her, some of people he doesn’t know. There are pictures taken at concerts, theme parks, the beach. She’s smiling in most of them. Happy. Memories of a lifetime forever caught on film.

This, Bucky realizes then, is something he wants. Not right now but eventually. To make memories. Ones that last. Ones that don’t get taken away from him. And someone to make those memories with him.

“ Where have you been? I’ve been looking for you,” Bucky asks as she pats the blanket and he sits down on the bed next to her.

“ I’ve been looking for this movie and I finally found a decent copy we can watch.”

“ Now? “

“ Yes now. It’s supposed to be a really good one. I think you’ll like it. “

Bucky’s tired. He honestly just wants to go home and try to find at least a few hours of sleep. But she does it again, that thing where she smiles and his heart does the weird fluttery thing. And he can’t say no to that. Why would he ever want to say no to that?

So he scoots backward to rest against the headboard as well and his eyes take in the swirly white font on the screen spelling out Casablanca over the black and white image of a map of Africa.

His smile won’t be suppressed anymore. It takes over his face like it belongs right there.

"Thought you were waiting for a special occasion?"

“ I was and I found it. Now, what’s the romantic lesson I can learn from this one? “ (Y/N) asks as her head comes to rest on his right shoulder.

Bucky considers it for a moment, tries to recall exactly what happens. Some details are fuzzy, some lost altogether. But he remembers the core of it all. The love shared between two people.

“ It is about sacrificing the thing you want most in life to make sure the people you love are safe and happy. It’s about putting the one you love above yourself and breaking your own heart in order to keep theirs from breaking. Love is selfless, never selfish. And love is worth it. I think that’s what it’s about. “

“ That’s a lovely sentiment. But so sad too.”

Bucky only nods in agreement and as the title credits roll he wonders if he’ll ever get the chance to really figure out love. To fall for someone and love them so much he’d give up everything to see them happy. Even himself.

Though they call it the city that never sleeps, New York seems to grow tired. It grows calm and quiet and maybe for a second it falls into a slumber in the same way that both Bucky and (Y/N) fall asleep, cuddled up on her bed, while Ingrid Bergman flies away on a plane and Humphry Bogard walks into the black of night.

Bucky hasn’t slept in a bed in months in fear of nightmares and terrors lurking in the dark corner of his mind.

That night he doesn’t have nightmares. In fact that night he dreams. Of slow dancing on a balcony with only the stars bearing witness to the moment. He dreams of red slippers and fairy lights and black and white movies.

That night he doesn’t have nightmares. Only sweet dreams.

Taglist // if you want to be added or taken off just message me :) //:

@zaynzierulez // @je-like-you // @dracoxxyoflam // @jackiehollanderr // @majo240820 // @kay-gilles // @booksb4looksstuff // @jckie94 // @charmed-asylum // @shawnie--jo // @yllwtaxi // @tailsoflightning //@giuliarogers

[iamlisteningto]

Jessica Winter’s Sad Music

[kyrju]

18, 28 and 45 <3

Please protect Olli from @matelas

18. ideal weather?

snowy and cold, like -5 to -15 degrees. ahhh, i need snowww :(

28. five songs to describe you?

when you die by MGMT

sad music by jessica winter

jealousy, jealousy by olivia rodrigo

...for the lyrics and vibe part i guess?

west end girls by pet shop boys

hyper-ballad by björk

...for just being my all time fave songs <3

(i overthought this question so much hhffjkf)

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

i think fantasy? i prefer realistic genres, but i guess fantasy is more enjoyable of the bunch to me.

(it was my idea for him to steal Olli's hair and socks, so i don't think i'm the right person to request this from </3)

[nct-jihee]

Jihee (NCT) Profile: Jihee Facts and Ideal Type

Name: Jihee (지희)

Birth Name: Um Jihee (엄지희)

Position: Main Dancer, Main Vocalist

Birthday: May 28, 1997

Zodiac Sign: Gemini

Birthplace: Incheon, South Korea

Height: 165 cm (5’4″)

Weight: 45 kg (99 lbs)

Blood Type: O

MBTI Type: ENFP

Jihee Facts:

—She was born in Incheon, South Korea.

—Education: Hanlim Multi Art School.

—Jihee has an older brother.

—Her nicknames are: JiJi (by the fandom) and her members call her different things.

—Jihee lived in Manchester, England for about 3 years (from when she was 4 till 7 years old).

—Fluent in English.

—Her father gave her "June" as her English name because her teachers and some friends couldn't pronounce "Jihee".

—Currently she has three tattoos.

—She loves sports: football soccer, swimming, volleyball, and archery.

—Jihee has a little nephew and she claims to be the best aunt.

—Jihee admits that she didn't like school at all, but is good at Chemistry and Maths.

—Since she was young she was a bit hyperactive and was easily distracted. She is still like that sometimes, but in a lesser amount.

—She plays guitar and bass.

—Can be really sensitive.

—When Jihee is stressed, she cries.

—She's really messy.

—Jihee doesn't like sasaengs and antis — absolutely hates them.

—Loves to use sarcasm but please never use it on her.

—Wanted to study Criminology.

—She was scouted by JYP Entertainment and Cube Entertainment.

—Jihee has been learning Japanese for years now because she wants to talk with Yuta all the time (Weekly Idol Ep. 347).

—Jihee ranked 12th in the "Top 100 Beautiful Faces Of 2018"

—Jihee ranked 4th in the "Top 100 Beautiful Faces Of 2019"

—She's been in love with singing and acting since she was young.

—Jihee participated in musicals a lot when she was in school.

—She's a good liar and always wins mafia game.

—Her sleeping habit: hugging a pillow.

—Lives in the 5th floor and her roommate is Taeyong.

—She didn't lived with her members at the beginning, she shared apartment with one of her managers: Yeonsoo unnie.

—Jihee loves all her members equally, but there's something about Taeil, Taeyong and Yuta that makes her heart feel warm.

—Her favorite animals are dogs and butterflies.

—Her role model is her mother.

—She's not sure what her hobbies are, she likes a lot of things: writing poetry, reading books, painting, swimming, etc.

—Likes cooking but won't like it if the guys force her to cook.

—Enjoys spicy food.

—Hates seafood.

—Favorite food: Meat and Pasta.

—Favorite fruit: Watermelon.

—Favorite season is Winter.

—Favorite color: Yellow and Blue.

—Favorite artist: Alicia Keys and Adele.

—She auditioned with the song: "Talking To The Moon" by Bruno Mars.

—She wasn't a good dancer when she first joined SM, but with effort and dedication she became one of the best dancers in the entertainment and industry.

—On December 9, 2013 she was revealed as a member of SMRookies.

—The same day, SM released a video of Jihee showing her dancing skills with "Upgrade U" by Beyoncé and Jay Z.

—Jihee appeared in Red Velvet’s MV Happiness (2014) at the very beginning.

—She debuted with NCT U first in 2016 and debuted again with NCT 127 in 2017.

—Although Jihee was loved as a member of SMRookies, when she debuted with NCT U she got a lot of hate.

—She says: "I think that helped me, somehow. Cause that made me work harder and, well, here I am." (Vlive, 2019).

—After her debut with NCT U in 2016, for the rest of that year she prepared for her acting debut.

—According to Red Velvet's Wendy: Jihee was the best actress among all the trainees and teachers would always complimented her.

—In 2017 she made her debut as an actress in the drama While You Were Sleeping.

—It was a small rol, but she was well received.

—Red Velvet members said that they all thought that Jihee was going to debut with them, so when they found out that she was actually going to debut in a coed group they were really sad.

—Oldest members of SMRookies, and future members of NCT, were aware of their concept: a coed group. So they knew that a girl would join them, they just didn't know who.

—Jihee likes rapping and she's quite good, so in 2019 SM Entertainment decided to make her a sub rapper.

—Taeyong says she's a totally different person when she is on-stage.

—Haechan genuinely thinks she's the mom of the group, even if she hates to be called that.

—Jihee takes care of the younger members, but it's clear who her favorite is: Renjun.

—Since her debut she has only dyed her hair four times: blonde, pink, red and blue.

—Her natural hair color is dark brown.

—She tries to not have skinship with her members in front of cameras because she wants to avoid any kind of bad comments, although they sometimes hug her or give her kisses on the cheek.

—However, with her best friends and coworkers (cast mates) she doesn't care and hugs them all the time because fans can't and don't have to say anything about it.

—She doesn't like drinking.

—Johnny thinks Jihee is the definition of Social Butterfly.

—Jihee wrote and participated in Hotel del Luna OST - Can You See My Heart.

—She did a duet with SHINee's Key for his album FACE with the song 'Forever Yours'

—Jihee was also featured in EXO-SC '1 Billion Views'

—On November 1st, 2019, SM gave her permission to create her instagram account because she was starting to get recognized as an actress from the drama Extraordinary You, however at that time she was only posting things related to the drama.

—She's really close with TWICE's Sana and Red Velvet's Joy.

—She's in a group chat with female idols from 97 line.

—F(x)'s Krystal, SNSD's Jessica and Tifanny, and Super Junior's Henry used to take care of her when she was a trainee.

—Like Haechan, she is good at Variety Shows.

—Jihee was an MC for Inkigayo with SEVENTEEN's Mingyu.

—In 2019, she was in Law Of The Jungle Ep. 368–372 with Red Velvet's Yeri and iKON's B. I.

—NCT U Line-ups she was apart of: The 7th Sense, Timeless, Boss, Coming Home, and Make a Wish.

—Sub-Unit: NCT U, NCT 127

—Jihee's Ideal Type: Someone who can communicate well with her. Someone kind, funny, and respectful. A family guy. A few years older than her, she wouldn't date someone younger. Jihee wants to be friends first.

[underachievers-please-try-harder]

Track of the day // Jessica Winter - Sad Music

[allthefilmsiveseenforfree]

Girls Just Want to Have Fun

It’s always fun jumping into a movie I know next to nothing about, and this requested review for Wes will be no exception. All I know is that Girls Just Want to Have Fun is an 80s teen romp with the worst photoshopped cover photo I’ve ever seen. It looks like Michael Scott put it together. I know it stars girls, AND I know what those girls want. That’s half your narrative battle right there. So do they achieve the fun they seek? Well...

They do! A lot of weird shit happens along the way, but yeah, fun is had and that’s all that really matters. God, 1985 was a simpler time. I mean, I know everyone was living in constant fear that the Russians were going to invade Kansas and we’d be faced with a neverending nuclear winter, but in the face of all that existential terror you also get movies where the entire pitch is “So there’s this girl (Sarah Jessica Parker) who wants to be a dancer on tv, but her parents don’t want to let her. But she does it anyway! And her partner is chosen for her and, boy, they do not see eye to eye. But then they do! And they have to practice a lot. And then they win the dance contest!” 

You know some studio exec heard that and screamed at his secretary to hold his calls for the day so he could sign the contracts and then do a mountain of blow off them. 

Some thoughts:

It’s so weird to see Sarah Jessica Parker without curly hair! I was never a Sex and the City fan, so my exposure to SJP is purely Hocus Pocus based.

This dance sequence over the credits is incredible. Why do we not have shows anymore that are just a large group of young attractive people dancing in sync? No host, no dialogue, just the power of dance. I was born in the wrong decade. I would have appreciated the shit out of the 80s when I was alive.

Poor Helen Hunt - she must be one of those people who always looked like she was 35, even in high school. Granted, she was 22 when this was filmed and she’s playing a teenager, but still. 

Helen Hunt is wearing dinosaurs in her hair. 80s fashion was on a wavelength that I don’t think any of us living will ever see again.

Omg this rich bitch (Natalie, I guess? She’s not named for at least the first 30 min of the movie) had Claire’s closet from Clueless 10 years before the movie existed! This is already groundbreaking.

NOW SHE HAS A BUG ON HER HAT. A big plastic green grasshopper. This review is mainly going to be about the insane things Lynne (Helen Hunt) wears.

Speaking of - I’m getting big lesbian vibes from Lynne Stone and I am so here for it. The homoerotic tension when she acts like she’s gonna fight the rich bitch? Delicious. The immediate intimate connection she makes with SJP? Practically U-Hauling. 

I love an 80s dance montage, and this movie promises to contain basically nothing but that tied loosely together with some nonsensical dialogue in between. This is gonna be my new favorite movie. 

Ooh Nestle Quik syrup! I forgot about Nestle Quik. 

Favorite line: “There is a time and a place for calypso music, young lady.”

Ohhh I see what this is gonna be - Janey (SJP) is a classically trained dancer and gymnast, and Jeff (Lee Montgomery) is more of a rough and tumble music video kinda guy from the streets. You can tell cause he’s got a motorcycle and a leather jacket. And he wears cutoff sleeves! He’s a white guy in Chicago, who could be more street than that? And they’re butting heads! How will they ever be able to make it work for the big dance contest??

How did Natalie know Janey’s phone number? She specifically said it was unlisted. Unless she remembers it from overhearing it offhand after the dance tryouts...? That’s insane, I can’t even remember what I wore yesterday let alone a 7-digit number someone shouted in a crowd.

Lynne Fashion Alert: Is she wearing a belt made out of bullets? And a Davy Crocket hat. This is galaxy brain lesbian fashion. If the costume designer for this movie didn’t win 10 Oscars...

The music director on the other hand...not sure what is up with all these weird KidzBop covers of excellent songs like “Dancing in the Street” or the titular “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” but if you’re gonna include them, you gotta spring for the originals. This is just sad. 

I’ve never been at a party with an ice sculpture. I think that’s how you know you’re among the rich. 

Whatever happened to Jonathan Silverman? I miss when he was the nebbishy sidekick in every 80s movie. 

Who enters a party by catapulting through the damn window?? Punk does not mean that you no longer know how to use doors, sir! 

Who serves a full roasted turkey at a party? Is this how rich people live? This feels like the equivalent of using Google translate to identify rich people food in another language, then translating it back to English. 

Lynne Fashion Alert: Now I think she has space shuttles in her hair.

Wow we got a real 1-2 punch of sexual harassment in this club. Who wrote this Tune in Tokyo gag and was like “You know what would be hilarious? If this shitty little nerd convinced this girl to raise her arms so he can just grab her boobs full on, front and center. And then she gets upset and runs away. God I’m good at this *snorts another line*”

Lynne Fashion Alert: Now it’s two globes (like, two Earths) with crab claws on them? This is a choice that I don’t understand, but I think I may just not be seeing what it is clearly. I am digging her mirror sunglasses though. 

I know Janey is smart but when did she learn how to hotwire a security system? It’s not like Google or Youtube existed, and I doubt there was a library book about how to dismantle that specific system. MYTH BUSTED.

Oh god oh no I’m so gay for these Dixon sisters from Kansas City, these two gorgeous black women in tuxes and spandex leotards. They 100% should have won this dance contest. 

Why did guys stop wearing crop tops? Can we bring back slutty quarterback as a fashion trend for dudes? Seriously, the costume design here is everything. 

I really love Jeff and his little family - his sister and his dad are so proud of him and supportive. You never see that in dance narratives featuring guys. I like the reversal here of gendered expectations.

Did I Cry? No, but my heart was warmed at various moments. 

Honestly, why can’t more narrative arcs in movies be solved via dance battle? 

Lynne Fashion Alert: She’s now dressed as...Cleopatra? Wait why the fuck is there a horse here? 

Oh that’s it that’s the end! Man, you can’t be mad at a tight 90 min film like this - it gets in, it gets out, bing bang boom you’re done with enough time to read before bed. 

Is this a cinematic masterpiece? No. But is it good clean fun? Absolutely. Barring the brief [obligatory 80s] sexual harassment scene, there’s very little to be upset with here. Kids wanna dance, they’re told they can’t dance, they dance anyway! It’s the power of dance! You’re either into it or you’re not, but if you’re not, I ask that you search your heart and try to find one teeny tiny sliver of joy inside it. You’re gonna need to feed that joy if you wanna make it through 2021, and watching this movie is a darn good place to start. 

If you liked this review, please consider reblogging or subscribing to my Patreon! For as low as $1, you can access bonus content and movie reviews, or even request that I review any movie of your choice.

[welldonebeca]

The Start of Something New

Squares Filled: Winter ( @spndeanbingo); Scenting ( @spnabobingo ); Free Space ( @spnfluffbingo​ ) Summary: Dean had a huge crush on you when you were kids living side by side in Lawrence until the day your family moved out. Now, more than a decade later, he finds himself a second chance when reencountering you accidentally in a cold Winter night. Pairing: Alpha!Dean Winchester x Omega!Female!Reader Other Characters: Sam Winchester, Mary Winchester, Jessica Moore WC: 2.6k Warnings: ABO Dynamics, Scenting, childhood crush, angst if you squint, lots of fluff. This is a literal fluff bomb. A/N: This story was requested and commissioned by the amazing @flamencodiva and a continuation can’t be requested.

This was supposed to be a gift to Mary. She loved ABBA and loved orchestral music, so what would be better than to take her to the tribute concert that was travelling the country during the holiday season?

Dean had recently graduated university and moved to New York in a pretty good job, considering he was new to… Well, basically everything. He had had a fresh start when he stepped into town: His parents had let him use the small studio they had in an obscure side of the city and paid half of his student debts as soon as he graduated, so the least he could do after his father had passed away so suddenly half a year ago was to do something to make his mother happy.

He and Sam were home for Christmas and New Year, and while his brother had arrived with his fiancé – Jessica, a Beta girl he had met in Stanford and lived together with already for around two years – the fact that Dean had come up hadn’t failed to make Mary sad. They were all sat in a very good place in the theatre, as Dean had been the first person to get tickets to this presentation, and when his brother voiced his recognition of the beautiful Cellist standing right in the middle of the stage playing a solo of Mary’s favourite song, ‘The Winner Take it All’.

“Dude,” Sam whispered to him. “Isn’t that Y/N?”

And it was. It was you.

When he and Sam were kids, your family lived right beside the Winchesters, and you and Dean had a pretty weird friendship, truth be told. You were one of those homeschooled kids and just really damn good at the Cello. Your window was in front of his, and while it remained close every single day, he could still hear you playing for a good portion of the day. When you had some free time – when both your parents were at work and your tutor had left the house – you carried conversations through chalkboards, and that had gone for years until he had found himself some courage to ask you out to middle school prom, but it was too late. Apparently, your father had taken a job offer in another town he never learnt the name, and he was left with just your chalkboard and a written ‘I’ll miss you’ in your handwriting.

“We never knew what happened to her,” Sam continued, clearly not noticing how his brother’s mind was somewhere else entirely.

To be honest, Dean had a big – no, huge – crush on you, and losing you was the hardest thing that happened in his teens – which was enough to show that his life wasn’t the hardest one ever.

“Do you think we could go down there and talk to her?” Mary asked. “Do you think she remembers us?”

Dean was ready to clap when the song was over, but Jess quickly reached and held his wrist.

“You only clap when it is over.”

He complied, but his eyes never left you. You looked amazing and hadn’t changed much in the years away, although you were quite taller and ever more beautiful – but maybe he was too biased, that crush was something that had never really gone away.

A full hour and a half later, the concert was over and as soon as Dean was given a positive nod from Jessica, he stood up and clapped furiously, followed by the rest of the crowd.

“Thank you very much for bringing me, Dean,” Mary touched his forearm. “I truly loved it.”

He couldn’t help but blush.

“Anything for you, mum,” he kissed her cheek.

They left to the hall, and he started searching around for you until one of the musicians left through one of the doors, and he practically ran in the direction but stopped when his eyes fell on the man standing by the door for what was probably security.

“Good evening,” he tried to look chill and nonchalant. “So, my friend was playing at the concert and we are supposed to meet outside, but…”

The tall, red-haired man didn’t even let him finish his phrase.

“Where’s your pass?”

He froze.

“My pass?”

“Your VIP pass,” the security guard repeated. “You can only enter with one.”

He patted his pockets, pretending to look for one. Crap.

“What is your name, I’ll check the list,” the man pulled a phone from his pocket.

Luckily for Dean, you walked through the door right at the moment, searching for something from inside your purse and right past him.

“No need,” he said quickly.

He moved in your direction so quickly that he didn’t even notice he was stepping on his own shoelace before he fell facedown onto the floor, making you jump.

“Shit,” he growled, putting himself on his elbows in a slow attempt to stand up.

“Oh my goodness,” you exclaimed. “Are you okay?”

Dean moaned in pain. He’d hit his forehead on the black marble and it was hurting quite a bit.

“I’ll survive,” he groaned.

Hopefully.

“Wait a second,” you stepped closer to him, and he could see your heeled boots and note how fancy they were before looking up at your face. “Dean? Dean Winchester?”

He couldn’t even hold back a smile.

“The one and only.”

You reached with your gloved hand to help him up, grinning during the process.

“It’s been so long! How are you? How is Sam? And your parents?” you babbled. “I didn’t even know you still lived here, I visited my old house when I got to town but the whole street was different.”

You hugged him gently, and he automatically circled your body with his arms when you did so, putting his face in the crook of your neck and realising – with a pleasured sniff – that you were an Omega.

He didn’t answer for a moment. Your voice was beautiful, that was a fact. This was the first time he was so close to you in his life and even heard how you actually sounded.

“Yeah, yeah,” he babbled before finding the answers you were looking for. “We moved to a different neighbourhood when Sam got into high school. Both mom and dad got really good promotions and we found a better house that didn’t need so much maintenance and had a pool.”

You nodded, seemingly surprised.

“That’s awesome!”

“I know!” he exclaimed. “We even adopted a dog, you would love to see her, she was a golden cocker retriever.”

“That is really nice,” you affirmed.

“And mom is there,” he turned and pointed to where Mary was standing. “Sam too, and that’s his fiancé, Jessica.”

You waved to the trio and he suddenly realised he had been speaking about himself non-stop.

“But what about you?” he pointed in your direction. “What have you been doing, aside from being a Cello star?”

The laugh you gave him as utterly adorable and Dean wondered if someone had ever mentioned that before.

“I’m finishing my Master of Music in a few months in Juilliard and just started working with a Broadway team for a show that’ll be out in... two years, I think?”

Dean raised his eyebrows. He knew you were good, there was no questioning that, but still… wow.

“Really? That is awesome!”

You shrugged shyly.

“It’s what I like doing,” you muttered, a bit shy.

Before he could call another subject, someone called your name, making you turn around and answer quickly before going back to him.

“Dean,” you searched your purse for something. “We’re going out for drinks, what do you think?”

He looked back to the group of variable people behind you, waiting in layers and layers of clothing.

“Your friends look like they’re freezing,” he noted.

You chuckled.

“They are not used to the Texan Winter,” you shrugged.

He looked back to the group waiting for him, and Sam raised his eyebrows.

“Sure,” he smiled. “Let me just tell Sam.”

“Wait!” you yelped.

You searched your purse around, quickly placing something on his hand, four tickets and a card.

“These are VIP tickets for any show in the season, you just need to call them in first before showing up so you can be scheduled in,” you explained. “And my number in case anything goes wrong.”

The look you gave Dean was enough to show him and that not only you were just as nervous as him, but also just as interested as him, and he smiled once again.

“You…” he hesitated. “Wanna talk to them?”

“Sure.”

You walked with him and Mary was quick to engulf you in a hug, asking questions and more questions about your parents and how your life was doing, and you were clearly honest when you said you were sorry for John’s death and very happy for Sam’s engagement. If he allowed himself to imagine, Dean was 100% sure you and Jess would make great friends if given enough time.

“I’m going out for drinks with her and the crew,” he pointed behind his back. “So… Don’t worry about me.”

“I’ll take care of him,” you said playfully, and Dean’s heart honestly fluttered inside his chest.

Yes, please.

He knew he wouldn’t hear the end of it from all three of them the next day and would be bracing himself for all the questions about them exchanging numbers if she would be showing up in their lives after that, all the teasing about him having the biggest crush on you since you were there, and on and on. Honestly, however, he couldn’t even think of those now; all that mattered was you.

It took three Uber drivers to take everyone to the brewery Dean had heard so much about and couldn’t wait to visit and he was a bit surprised by how everyone had agreed so quickly to the destination.

“None of them have ever been to Kansas, you know?” you pointed. “We’ve got people from Florida, a lot of Texans, people from other countries… The biggest percentage of the players are from New York, but then, a lot of people who say they are from New York only do so because they have been living there for almost a decade or more.”

He nodded, absorbing the information, and gave a small grin to you.

“What about you? I never knew where you were from, you just moved into the house beside ours and that was it.”

You snorted. Your parents weren’t the most sociable of people.

“Kansas, though we kept moving from town to town when I was a kid,” you shrugged. “I think I never stayed in a place for as long as I’ve stayed here, though. I was kinda happy here.”

The moment your eyes fell on his, Dean’s heart felt a bit squeezed, worried with the hurt that you seemed to be holding back.

“But,” you continued speaking. “I have my own apartment now and a more stable life, so things are better.”

He confirmed, not wanting to drag the subject further, and his curiosity peaked.

“Where do you live now? You mentioned being part of this Broadway thing and Juilliard…”

“In New York,” you said with a smile. “You know, I got super lucky with a really cool apartment in comparison with the sizes the town has! My children will probably be paying my mortgage at some point but maybe if I’m lucky I can some good gigs and spare them of that,” you giggled with the last part.

Dean’s eyes widened.

“Are you kidding me? I live in New York too!” he exclaimed. “How come we never met there?”

You shrugged.

“I don’t know,” you moved a hand up and put a strand of hair behind your ear. “I would totally know if I had seen you there before.”

He felt his face get increasingly hot and was sure he was blushing deeply. Were you flirting with him? That had to be you flirting with him.  

 “What have you been doing?” you questioned as soon as the two beers you’d ordered arrived.

And there started your night together. Your friends had disappeared in chunks, some showing up to say goodbye, some just sending texts when they were already in their taxis or ubers or lyfts, and by the time close time rolled around, you and Dean were laughing loudly about your college experiences: bad dates, annoying professors, and a especially embarrassing performance where you slipped in the middle of the stage right at the start and hit the back of your head so bad that you had to be rushed to the hospital. He was giggly and a bit drunk when you split the bill, and offered himself to walk you to your hotel when you two figured out it was just around the corner.

“It’s a five-minute walk,” he assured you, putting his hands in his pockets. “You got the best part of town.”

“It’s close to the theatre,” you explained. “When we visited Maine we got a bad deal with a hotel too far away and had to cancel one of the performances of the day because we all got stuck in traffic.”

Dean just nodded, hummed in acknowledgement just to realise – as soon as he turned to you – that you were shivering under the falling snow.

His hands went to his own neck and took off his scarf, stopping you and wrapping it around your own to help to keep you warm.

“Thanks,” you muttered.

“No biggie.”

The two of you walked in silence until the turning of a corner, and he poked your side when his eyes reached the hotel.

“See,” he raised his eyebrows. “Right there.”

You smiled.

“Thank you for walking me.”

Dean shrugged.

“Not there yet, sweetheart.”

You chuckled and he slowed a bit when you two almost reached the entrance, standing in front of you and pulling your hands and you along with him until he was walking you against the wall.

Slowly, hesitantly, he scooped a bit of snow that had just fallen on your lower lip and put it right over the tip over your nose.

“Did you just throw a Gone Girl move on me?” you questioned, raising an eyebrow.

He shrugged.

“Maybe?”

You both laughed and you rested your head onto the wall.

“Dean…” you whispered.

“Hmm?”

“You can kiss me if you want to,” you whispered. “Do you know that?”

He gave you a slow and soft nod and moved even slower, kissing your lips gently. Your hands moved to cup his jaw and his fingers curled on the side of your hips, pulling you close and sighing against you before pulling away and moving his face down to your covered neck, breathing in you and running his hands over your uncovered hands and your arms. When his lips were back on yours, you let out a sigh when his fingertips reached your lower stomach, slipping under your shirt.

“If you don’t stop scenting me,” you panted. “We will end up doing much more than kissing upstairs.”

Dean chuckled, and slowly moved away, pecking your lips a couple of more times before fully stepping away.

“Alright,” he raised your hands. “Hands off.”

You chuckled and moved your hands up the scarf around your neck, but Dean stopped you.

“You can keep it,” he affirmed, putting his hand in his jacket pocket and pulling out a card. “Call me? Maybe we could have a real first date?”

You couldn’t stop the large smile blooming on your face.

“Sure thing.”

Dean waited until you were inside and the door to the hotel was closed to call in a taxi that was luckily passing by, providing his address before resting back onto the seat, and smiled when his phone vibrated in his pocket, finding a text message from you.

‘Does lunch sounds good?’

He felt his cheek warming up, moving his hand to his mouth for a moment, almost hiding behind it before giggling a bit.

Yeah, that was a good start to something new.

. . .

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