#sad as in i'm literally sad about it rather than meaning pathetic

[wild-at-mind]

Kind of sad that people writing about their politics are still doing the ‘any self identified leftist with opinions that are Wrong is actually a liberal’ thing.

[medicinemane]

Actually there is one thing I may legit start doing once I have my social anxiety a bit better tamped down on is when someone's telling me how their kid's just kind of a bum who doesn't have a job and hangs out in their room all day (why the fuck are you telling a stranger, once it was a nurse telling me this stuff and it's like... that's real messed up you're badmouthing your kid to a patient)

I think I'm gonna try and hit them with a "sounds to me like they may be depressed" (cause... it does)

Gonna take some work to feel like dealing with this stuff, but... I think I need to start basically trying to sound sympathetic to the parent, while also reframing it as "it sure sounds like they're struggling and could really use some support right now"

Cause once again... that is literally what it sounds like to me

You fools, you've got no idea you're talking to a fucking worthless loser. I will always go to bat for the isolated fuck up who can't get a job, cause that's just me. Don't bad mouth your kid to someone that's got more in common with you kid than with you, I know what it feels like to be in that situation, I'll always go to bat for them and think you're being a cry baby and need to grow up and actually parent

[diagonal-queen]

hello!! how are you doing??<3 may i have hunting dogs with silent s/o??? teruko platonic ofc:3 thanks if you do

Hunting Dogs with a Silent S/O

♡ pairing: Fukuchi Ouchi, Jouno Saigiku, Tecchou Suehiro, Teruko Okura, Tachihara Michizou x gn!Reader

♡ synopsis: How are they with an S/O who doesn't speak?

♡ cw: Swearing, I'm under the assumption that reader is completely silent either because they can't or won't speak, so...yeah!

note: I'm finally fucking posting something, so I'm honestly doing pretty fantastic! I know it's kinda short though I'm sorry T-T It's getting increasingly harder to find new panels of the Hunting Dogs to make banners out of. Like I spend a DISGUSTING amount of time on them and they don't even look good help </3 anyway Teruko solos, I apologise for errors and I hope you enjoy x

Fukuchi:

Fukuchi 'look upon and admire my adorable silent partner or face my wrath' Ouchi

I know I keep saying this but I physically can't see him being anything but extremely proud of his partner and wanting to show you off at any chance he can, no matter how silent you are

If you're up to it, sit with him at meetings and follow him around when he runs errands this man LOVES your company!

As such, he doesn't mind your silence. In fact, he thinks it's endearing, and will find alternative ways for you to communicate that make you the most comfortable

(I mean all of this in the most manly macho war hero way possible btw)

To be honest he's not the best at reading you at first, but just give it a little more time and you're like an open book to him. He is that meme where you're sad and then he wakes up in a cold sweat like 'something is deeply wrong'

Of course this is assuming that you've opted not to sleep in the same bed, which he's also fine with, but like, Fukuchi despite being a literal global hero is also a pathetic man who will turn up at your house in the wee hours of the morning because he couldn't sleep because he could sense that YOU couldn't sleep

He is both parts cool and just downright pitiful. Maybe you'll actually be the one taking care of him (behind closed doors of course)

Jouno:

"Excuse me they asked for no pickles" ahh boyfriend

He loves that you're silent. Not only can he already tell how you're feeling regardless because of your body language and other factors, but he also doesn't need to worry about any potential scares or distractions from your voice. Win-win

He's actually a little curious as to why you don't talk but he waits for you to tell him of your own accord rather than asking outright (and if you ask him to keep it a secret he does)

He's more than happy to speak for you at any point. Like if someone asks you a question, he answers for you if you want him to, or if the question is rude he's like 'hey leave my partner alone you pathetic fuck'

Jouno's just a little bit possessive. He just really, really strikes me as the type

Since you don't talk to him, your love language manifests in other ways. He loves when you cling to him, buy him little presents or help him with stuff, he genuinely really appreciates it.

And, honestly, he gives you more than enough compliments to make up for it <3

When you guys are out in public (not when he's at work) you're almost always holding hands. It's like you're glued to each other

Jouno doesn't need to hear you speak at all. The sound of your heartbeat is more than enough for him <3

Tecchou:

I mean...talk about a quiet couple

I feel like the only times Tecchou really even talks are when he's spoken to first, or when he's like talking to a suspect or a witness or whatever his job needs. He's certainly not a man of many words at the very least

Your time is spent together just in each others' presence and that's more than enough for him. Regardless of whether or not you have any conversation he loves your company

If he's given any options for something or any decisions to make ever without fail he'll always turn to you with a blank face and ask what you think, and wait for you to either nod and shake your head

He honestly might find it a little easier to communicate nonverbally with you and that's why he enjoys it so much. (if it isn't already established I am a firm believer in autistic Tecchou)

You two establish little ways of communicating with one another, like a squeeze of the hand means 'I love you' for example. It's honestly really adorable

At this point you could have whole conversations without saying anything. You two are the telepathic communication meme. Everyone else is confused, even Jouno is confused, he has NO idea what's happening

Man, he just loves everything about the way you are. And he'll squeeze your hand many times so that you know it

Teruko (platonic):

Let's be real she does enough talking for the both of you

Teruko is SO FUCKING LOUD, man. Even if you did talk, you're not quite sure you'd be able to hear your own voice. You sure as hell can't hear your own thoughts already

Teruko might have prodded at you for a while when you first met, trying to provoke you into talking. But you didn't let up with your silence and she decided that she liked you as you were anyway.

She really doesn't seem like someone who you should try talking over or interrupting tbh

If anyone else did that to you though, they'd be getting decked (I know I say this in EVERY Teruko post but I adore the idea of her being the 'only I'm allowed to be mean to you' friend)

Unlike the others she probably doesn't always wait to get your opinion. She'll be like 'do you wanna hang' and then before you indicate any answer she's got you by the wrist and has started dragging you around

But she loves you so much for real. Will stick up for you, will include you in things, and will make you feel VALUED.

Like Jouno, is also an 'Excuse me they asked for no pickles' person

Except she'd probably just take the pickles off and launch them at the poor cashier let's be real. And you just have to give them an apologetic look T-T

Tachihara:

He's friends with Gin. If you think he has an issue with your quietness you're a little stupid sorry <3

He thinks it's endearing and will still engage with you just as much as anyone else, like even if you're arguing or something he'll still like pause and wait for you to argue back before continuing T-T

Not that I imagine you'd argue very much but he's a stubborn guy fr (goodluck if you're also stubborn (I'm NOT projecting))

If you primarily communicate in sign language, he'll learn it for you. He might not be perfect but goddamnit he'll TRY.

He's already pretty good at reading your facial expressions and minute body language, so like a lot of the time if he sees your eyebrow twitch a certain way or some shit he'll just be like 'you look happy babe :)' or like 'you look sad what's wrong :('

Sometimes it feels a little random but it's just because he cares about you <3

The two of you text each other ALL the time. Like even from across the room and stuff. He probably did it one day to be a goof but the habit stuck and now its your guys' thing

And everyone else can always tell when you're doing it because the pair of you are just smiling down at your phones and occasionally glancing at each other (Teruko probably bullies you guys rip

You guys might have your little quirks or whatever but who cares? You're still fucking adorable anyway

taglist~ ♡ @gettinshiggywithit, @fyodorhatr, @flower-of-darkness, @bejeweledgirl, @kokoenjiandco, @pinkiipeachiikeen

and of course thank you to @flocaelors for this req!

[rubyrealities]

𝓘F THE SHOES, FITS.

* shifting version

I feel like I could go on with this topic on forever, but one thing in life? If it doesn't suits you!! Then get another!!

"Ohh.... I wish I weight less/more so that I could wear this outfit.." THE DRESS IS A FABRIC ASSEMBLE TOGETHER TO FORM A FUCKING DESIGN!! YOU'RE BEAUTIFULL WITHOUT IT AND YOU DEFINITELY DO NOT NEED IT!!! FIND ONE YOUR OWN SIZE.

"ohh... I wish I don't have hips dips so I could wear those jeans" THE JEANS ARE NOT MEANT FOR YOU!! FIND ONE YOUR OWN SIZE.

"ugh I wish I could join their friendgroup they're so cool!!" THEY DON'T KNOW YOU!! FIND SOMEONE YOUR OWN SIZE THAT GETS YOU!!

"ugh... I wish I'm successful like them and have my own ___..." THEN WORK. START YOUR OWN LEVEL THAT SUITS YOU!!

Reality Shifting is a skill

Reality Shifting is a lifestyle

Reality Shifting is a talent

Reality Shifting is NOT A COMPETITION!!!!

WE ARE SOULS. SOULS that live in a body and take care of the body we possessed in. If something or someone you need doesn't suit you, simply, FIND YOUR OWN SIZE!!

You can't be LAYING on the BED, COMPLAINING THAT YOU CAN'T SHIFT, When ALLL YOU DO IS BEING JEALOUS OF OTHER PEOPLE'S JOURNEY AND YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY IT'S NOT WORKING FOR YOU.

simply, FIND ONE YOUR OWN SIZE.

If you're looking for a method and being all sad and depressed that it didn't work, guess what!! IT'S NOT FOR YOU.

PHYSICALLY, MENTALLY, SPIRITUALLY, if you personally don't like or suitable enough for one thing, that could be ANYTHING, then DON'T FORCE IT.

Those clothes are pretty but it doesn't fit you? FIND ONE THAT FITS.

Those people are successful in their own job and workplace but it isn't just going the same for you? FIND JOB THAT WORKS.

Those people SHIFTED before you and you're being depressed? ever thinking that maybe just maybe, It's actually THEIR journey, and not YOURS??

A lot of people is so successful in shifting but you can't seem to get yourself in that same exact shifting method?? Ever thinking that method doesn't work for you!!?? 😱😱😱😱

JUST BECAUSE IT WORKS AND SUITABLE FOR OTHER PEOPLE, DOESN'T MEAN IT WILL GO THE SAME WITH YOU!!!

You are just as PATHETIC like those people who left shifting because they themselves didn't shift.

If you're going to anywhere, and you look at one thing that is EVERYTHING YOU NEED. but just one single thing that makes a HUGEE difference in that same exact prop, then forget about it!! IT'S NOT FOR YOU!

A lot, and I mean A MAJORITY, have said, "Our shifting journey's is NOT THE SAME" and yet people STILL forget that, why? BECAUSE YOUR ASS IS SO FUCKING DESPERATE TO SHIFT THAT IT FEELS LIKE A ACTUAL CHORE AND A JOB RATHER THAN A SKILL AND A GOAL

Sometimes the solution is not taking a break from shifting, if you're just gonna come back with the same tactic. You're just gonna waste 3-5+ years being drained and start believing that it actually isn't real.

Instead, remember your own POV of shifting, What was the first thing that came into your mind when you find out how shifting works? What was your plan? What was YOUR blueprint?

If in the start you told yourself that you can shift in matter of seconds and your mindset still believe that, Then maybe you won't actually need a Method, you don't have to script, maybe you just don't have to do anything!!

Everyone, and I mean EVERY SINGLE ONE. is different, that's literally the reason why we are divided into groups, most of us probably won't stick with the usual "friendship works together!!" Maybe, your soul doesn't like that, maybe you've always meant to be alone, and that's better than BEING FUCKING DEPRESSED OVER ONE FAILED SHIFTING ATTEMPT YOU COWARD.

GET YOUR ASS UP AND SHIFT LIKE THE MASTER SHIFTER YOU ARE.

[annymation]

How did the conversation between Simon and Gabo went down? And what were the reaction of the other five? Yes I just want to see how much did he swear—

Heheheheheh I was HOPING someone asked, because I had to cut their scene together for time

So picture this, Simon is sitting down, back leaning on the door his friends are locked in, and we just hear coming from inside

Gabo: YOU $%*#@ LYING &$#!~*! AFTER WE SANG A *ˆ$%# SONG TOGETHER AND EVERYTHING YOU DO THIS??? I MEAN- YOU COULD'VE AT LEAST HAD THE DECENCY OF NOT SINGING WITH US BUT NOOOOOOOOO YOU JUST HAD TO BE A DECEITFUL %&*$ DIDN'T YOU?!

Simon: Look, I get it, you guys thought we could be some heroes here, but we can't. He's THE KING. The only way to keep us all safe is if I do as he says.

Gabo: Woooow and we feel so %$#&* safe right now! Do even hear yourself?! If he wins then Rosas is doomed! You think we'd be safer if we just sat down and watched this play out instead of actually FIGHTING to make a difference?! Then you don't want to protect anybody, you're just a coward!

Simon:...

Gabo: How pathetic is it that we could've literally WON if it wasn't for you. Now Asha is GOD KNOWS WHERE, Aster is gonna DIE, thousands of people are in danger... BUT HEEEY you got to keep a good image with the king! Good job!

Bazeema: Gabo, please, I think you're being a bit too-

Dahlia: No no no, Bazeema, let him speak.

Hal: Yeah, he's talking facts.

Safi: True- ACHOOOO - Like seriously Simon? couldn't even lock us up in a place without dust?

Dahlia: Safi that's not the main issu- You know what, nevermind, everything about this is messed up.

Dario gathers some pans in the closet and starts playing with them like drums, no one can see him signing in the dark room anyway, so he might as well play some ambiance music.

Simon: I made a mistake, I know! But if Magnifico finds you up there then-

Gabo: Then at least we would've tried! And we rather die doing that than sit here doing nothing!

Safi:........ Die? (whisper)

Gabo: If you wanna stay behind then BE MY GUEST, not like you ever was really part of the team anyway!

Simon:...

Gabo: But you can't keep us here forever! And when this door opens I swear Simon- there are KNIVES in that kitchen and I'm not afraid to-

They hear the door unlocking.

Simon opens it. He's looking at them sad. They're looking at him surprised.

Simon: *sigh* I just know I'm gonna regret this.

Gabo: ....... Indeed you will, Dahlia where are the knives?

Dahlia: NOOO nope nope nope! It's reconciliation time and not murder time!

Gabo: It is always murder o'clock.

Dahlia: And you can start making it up to us by pulling us through the food elevator that leads to the king's study

Everyone: .... WHY DIDN'T YOU MENTION THAT WAS A THING BEFO-

Dahlia: I WAS PANICKING OKAY?! I FORGOR

[ask-team-misfit]

"Are you feeling better?" Sirius asked, "Considering you're not currently lying on the floor I will assume that is the case... I do hope the nausea lessens with time." He sighed, now that Lief was somewhat sober the Meowstic seemed anxious to be talking to him, almost as if he was worried he would get upset again. He definitely couldn't cope with another round of insults from Lief, even so, he continued. 

"Perhaps now I could properly apologise for my earlier actions, I was unaware of how much distress you were in at that moment and it was wrong of me to become upset at you for stating your personal feelings and dislike towards me. You should be allowed to not speak to me and avoid me at your own discretion without me interfering and tricking you." His voice slowly became sad and quiet as he spoke, "You don't have to like me. I'm sorry for subjecting you to my unwanted presence earlier... Though your words still bother me, I should not expect you to be aware of why... nor to care. But, I do hope you can forgive me, If not. That is all I wish to say to you."

In his focus on making sure the scarf was in one piece, aside him forgetting even speaking to Sirius before, the sound of the Psychic-type's voice surprised him. It was a repeat of his earlier, initial reaction when he spotted him as a humanoid; he didn't peg the guy as a social sort at all.

In fact, it made him jerk up so suddenly, that he toppled into the pool he had just dumped an ungodly amount of soap into.

He'd rush back out in a panic, spitting and coughing and gagging, his fur sopping wet and revealing how skinny he truly was. Just prior he was still somewhat sleepy; but now he appeared much more awake.

Lief: "CREATOR OF GODS I THINK THAT GOT IN MY-"

His movements slow, and he quieted down, upon making eye contact with Sirius.

And he proceeded to stand back up on his hind legs and try to make like he wasn't startled.

Even as pathetic wet lumps of what was formerly his stored pollen puffs fell splat on the floor in a gross pile, making his tail look even more like a sad, shaggy mop. Even as his wings jitter and shake off the excess water.

[ ID: A grayscale drawing of Lief, a hybrid of Sylveon and Ribombee, with a mono-color background. He is shown from the neck up, with his face slightly angled away from the viewer towards the left. He appears rather dismissive, glancing away towards the right with even narrower eyes. His face is flushed in red, literally so as the blush is shown in color. End ID ]

Lief: "Ahem. Uhh. First of all, you didn't see that."

He was trying very hard to be casual. Deep down, he felt so, so embarrassed. All that really came to mind was his first encounter with the Seer.

But something else bugged him about this encounter, that made it feel different than before. Something that tickled his brain on the fringes of his consciousness, related to the prior series of events he still struggled to recall.

Wo-Chien had said he argued with a Meowstic. Surely he didn't mean this Meowstic...

Lief: "Also, you really gotta work on that. Did you always sneak up on people like this? If I hadn't known better, I'd assume you were actually a Dark-type. Or even a Ghost-type... if I met one."

A pause. It seemed he only now realized all of what Sirius just said to him. He blinked with confusion.

[ ID: A grayscale drawing of Lief similar to the previous image, but with a different expression. He looks puzzled, or curious. His left eyebrow is noticeably raised, while his right eyelid is lowered somewhat. He is frowning visibly. An angular question mark is floating next to his head at the left. End ID ]

Lief: "And... wait, you're what now? Apologizing?"

[deadpool15]

My girl

If I had to explain the context of my relationship, it would be complicated. Well, at least to me, it is. You see, when me and my girl and that isn't even my girl met, I was in college. I became an exchange student, and my home school does have this program where they pick a selection of students to go to different countries. I decided to throw my name in the bin to see how well my luck was.

Turns out my luck was pretty fucking good. I was able to get me a one-way ticket to Seoul National University for exactly a year. It was amazing. I got to experience so many new things, and the culture was like a change in scenery for me. But all good things must come to an end, and I started to fall behind on rent. I know what you're thinking, don't you live in a dorm? Well no I didn't, dorms are shit and I wasn't gonna take that chance I managed to find a nice job until some young fucking hideous looking bitch made a complaint about me to my boss. I'm 90% she was just being fucking racist because she kept trying to touch my hair like I was some exotic animal and caught a whole fucking attitude when I didn't allow her too. "Fucking bitch."

So, shit really hit the fan from that point. I was out of money, struggling to find a job, and my grades were starting to look like how I felt. Until I met Sayaka, a much older woman. She was approximately 38 years old at the time, while I was 20. She gave off this vibe of a confident, mature woman and I fucking loved it. She smooth talked me so fast some must say it wasn't fucking pathetic. Had a girl sitting her thinking about her every day and twirling my hair. You would think we were seeing each other after a while or at least that's what I thought.

Sayaka made it clear what she was looking for, and it wasn't a girlfriend. Sugarbaby, I believe, was the correct term. She wanted someone to spoil with gifts and affection but didn't want a relationship. Now, at first I was ok with that, I mean don't judge me I needed the money and she was hot so I was ok with it. Well, until I wasn't. People would openly flirt with her, and as much as she said she was mine, I started to realize how much she wasn't. I mean, we weren't together. She was literally paying me to "have fun" and "being pretty," and I kinda felt used.

Of course, I couldn't be mad at her, I knew what I was getting myself into, but I still had feelings. So, instead of bringing it up to her, I took the last "paycheck," she gave me, and ghosted her. I know what you're thinking, very mature of you, Stella. But the sad truth was I would rather act like she didn't exist than have her tell me she didn't like me at all. She did try to call at first, but then it all stopped I assumed she got tired of chasing after a immature fucking child. I mean, I could understand that, though as much as I understood her, a part of me wanted her to chase me. Make me feel wanted for once.

After a few months with no Sayaka, I fell into a deep state of depression. My best friend, Aubrey, had been trying to get me out of my house for a long time. But I wouldn't listen. Eventually, she randomly showed up to Korea, claiming she was entering some form of competition, meaning she would be here to help me and get my mind off of Sayaka. After a while, I felt better, I realized I had to learn how to love myself and that I was worth more than being someone's little sugarbaby. I mean, I was girlfriend material, and if she couldn't see that, then screw her. I would love to do that. Ok, maybe I wasn't entirely over her, but baby steps. I did want her back, but it was obvious she didn't feel the same, so I started to get myself back out there.

Audrey said it would be good for me. I took her advice and went on several dates, none of which worked out until I met this guy Jake. He was an exchange student from Hong Kong, he was 2 years younger than me though. But besides that, he was great. As great as it gets. The perfect gentleman. I just even kinda started to actually like him. Everything finally felt as if it had fallen into place in my life. I felt good for the first time in a long time. I was sitting at home scrolling through tiktok. I watched a video of some dude doing a mukbang. "Omg, why is this dude always eating like that. Like, do you viewer's wants to see you eat and enjoy the food or die trying. There is no way a mouth is supposed to open like that. Bro is literally not human." I was sitting there watching in disgust when my phone started ringing. Scaring the absolute shit out of me.

"Fuck," I looked at the caller ID and saw Audrey name pop up. That bitch is always scaring me. I pressed the answer and heard her yelling, more specifically Audrey's yelling in the background. "Audrey, ehat have we talked about with the yelling. I'm already hard of hearing thanks to you. Please." She ended hung up and immediately called me back on ft. I answered, "What have I said about hanging up on me like I'm one of you hoes?" I said while laughing. She started laughing again. "Hola, my beautiful bestie friend, ehat are you doing?"Minding my business what do need, Audrey?" She stared at me smiling mischievously. "So since you my bestie, I thought it would be amazing of you to like make us some pepper steak and rice."

"Wow, you called me, and the thing you wanted to talk about was me cooking. How fake of you, Ms. Lane." She looked at me with pleading eyes. "I wanna show the girls one of my best friends many qualities." I tried to glare at her, but a smile slowly started to creep up on my face. She had won me over, "Fine, I will cook your favorite meal for you. Would you like me to play delivery boy as well for you?" I stated jokingly until I saw the look on her was knowing she, in fact, did expect me to deliver the meal. "The food will be there, no get off my phone, you bitch." "Omg, I love you Stella so much." I smiled and hung up and got to cooking, it took me approximately an 1 to finish the dish. Audrey loves it ever since we were little kids. I make plates for everyone and start packing up the to-go trays. Piling all the food in my SUV, then making sure it is secure. I start to drive to the place.

Now that I think about it Audrey hasn't told me where this place is. Or anything about the show. I just assumed she didn't want to disclose too much information. But it's still weird, I mean we usually tell each other everything no matter what. A bit odd.

Stellabella🥰- Hey, babe, where exactly is the name of the competition.

Audreybunny🤡- Oo, it's called Street Women Fighter 2.

Stellabella🥰- Crazy how I had to actually ask you this stuff when you usually tell me. Isn't it?

Audreybunny🤡- Oo really..... what makes you say that?

Stellabella🥰- Why so secretive ma'am?

Audreybunny- It's just my first time in a competition like this, so I was still a bit shocked. That's all. It's weird at first. It's like crazy down here. It's wild.

Stellabella🥰- You're lying to me. You used the word it's like 3 to 4 times but it's ok I'll see when I get there send me the address.

I stared at my phone, confused. Audrey never kept secrets. Why did she care about this show so much? I guess I will actually just have to wait and find out. I use the GPS in my car. After about 49 minutes, I made it there. "I don't think I ever even watched this show, let alone heard of it. She is right. This is weird." I step outside of the car, grabbing the food carefully. "Let's stop overhinking. She is right. This is a new thing for her. I'm proud of her. My bestie is on TV shows now." I smiled softly at the thought and started walking towards the entrance.

I speak to the man at the front desk, letting him know that Jam Republic, as she texted me prior, is waiting on my arrival. He smiled at me and nodded his head down the hall, gesturing me to follow his lead. I bow towards his out of respect and a force of habit now and follow him down to the elevator. After about 5 floors go by, he shows me to a colorful hallway. "I believe you have it from here. The sign says Jam Republic on the door. It big and bright pink you can't miss it. Have a nice day, ma'am." He tells me before bowing and walking off back towards the elevator. I walk further down the hall, reading the names on the doors. "BEBE... 1MILLION... WOLF'LO... TSUBAKILL. Why does that one sound weirdly familiar. I mean, it could just be like a weirdly unique name that I find interesting."

I stare at the door for a while, completely forgetting where I am. Until a hand pulls me, I scream slightly and turn around to see Audrey smiling. "What did you get lost or something?" She says, genuinely afraid she put me through stress. "No, sorry, I was just admiring the names. Hey, have you ever heard of this one?" I ask, staring at her questionable. She looks at the names before shaking her head. "If I'm being honest, the majority of the groups are korean, so I haven't heard of anyone here, you know. Come on, everyone is waiting." Audrey scolds my hand, bouncing down the halls excited.

We walk into the door, and I greet everyone. The vibe is nice, and everyone is friendly. Which I am very thankful for, I meaning usually have a difficult time having conversations with new people. Or just meeting new people in general. I hand everyone a plate. They are sitting there thanking me before digging in. I hear Kristen on the sidelines gushing over the meal and applauding me for my "master cooking skills," or so she says. I blush slightly, thank God for my dark skin. I suddenly get the urge to pee, I grab Audrey's hand without speaking and make my way to the door. She whines because I take her away from her precious meal, but eventually get the hint and help me find the bathroom. She takes me there, letting me inside while saying she will be in the room. And if anything happens, call her. I allow her to leave, not wanting her meal to get cold, then make my way inside the stall.

I was in the process of finishing when I went to flush the toilet and hear the door sqeak open. I walk out thinking it's Audrey. "Babe, I thought you wanted to finish the meal. I literally slaved over the stove to cook. Not to mention me violating traffic laws to get it here." I stated sarcastically before not hearing her response. I continue to wash my hands before I turn around to say something else to her. Only to realize it wasn't her at all. "Sayaka?" She stares me up and down before getting close to me.

The space between us is so small that it makes me nervous. "Glad to see that I've only been gone for what, 3 months, and you have a new replacement right at the ready. Making meals for her. Aren't you just the perfect little girlfriend?" I gulp looking at her, trying to create a bit of personal space between us, and it seems she didn't like that. "You're not running away from me again. What exactly does Audrey the little fairy have that I don't, huh? Stella, you know I don't like repeating myself." I look down trying to avoid eye contact. It feels like I'm frozen, I wanted to see her so bad, but I forget the massive effect she had on me. Seems she didn't, though. "Me and Audrey aren't together. She has a boyfriend. And so do I."

I try to say that last bit with confidence, but it seems like at the moment that shit hasn't gone out the window. My voice cracks. She smiles at me, but I can tell I won't achieve anything good with rhat smile. "That's cute. My little baby got herself a boyfriend. Call him." I look at her confused, why the fuck would she want me to call the guy she is jealous of. More importantly, why is she jealous of Jake. " I don't owe you anything. We weren't in a relationship, and you made those guidelines very clear at the beginning. So you have no reason to be mad at me." I try to hide the tears falling out of my eyes by looking away until she grabs my chin.

She wiped my tears while looking at me. "Baby, I gave your money because you don't need to struggle, ok? I'm your support system, whether it's cuddling you when you're sad or gifting you shit when you're happy. In the beginning, I didn't want a relationship, I just wanted you. Labels scared me, but what scared me more was losing you. I care about you." I stared at her shockingly while she gave her confession. I didn't expect that to happen. Out of all the outcomes I planned in my head. "I care about you too, and I want to be with you. She kissed my forehead while smiling lovely at me. "My little girlfriend then." As she said that, it made me the happiest girl in the world. Experiencing true love is wild.

"Now, akachan, what do you say we give that ex-boyfriend a call and make it official." She says while leaving open-mouthed kisses down my neck, causing me to moan as she grabs my hips, pulling me flush against her body. I start to moan until she speaks up. "No, no baby, say it for the phone call. Gotta show him who you belong to, don't we?"

[atla-confessions]

I've come to vent about my relationship with Rozin of all things. I must warn that this is NOT anti Rozin confession! There's literally nothing wrong with this ship, but...

For a long time I thought it was the only genuinely good and interesting ship out of all ATLA and LOK ships. Despite having little to no screen time, I was nevertheless hooked by Roku's and Sozin's dynamic. And how could I not? Childhood friends turned into bitter enemies with all the angst and heartbreak it entails? *chief kiss* Rozin just had that kick that other ships didn't have to me. I mean it in the nicest way possible, but everything just felt bland and boring in comparison. Most likely because I'm a drama queen who loves screwed up stuff. In my head and private notes, I would make Rozin WORSE, I would add things that didn't happen in canon, that would NEVER happen in canon, that would plunge those two into a new dark abyss I made just for them. In my head and private notes, I would make Rozin BETTER, I would give Roku and Sozin a chance to reconcile, to learn from one another, to finally have a relationship they couldn't have in canon. I would come up with crazy AUs, one of them even became a baseline for my main crossover story.

I mean it genuinely that this ship was IT for me. And it was like that for 5 years...

Until it just... Wasn't anymore.

The overall ATLA fandom, unfortunately, doesn't share my sentiment. The arts and fics and hell even meta posts that would examine Roku and Sozin's relationship was extremely rare. All those things I did with Rozin privately ? That was basically all that I had. I kid you not, Rozin felt more like a fandom joke, than an actual ship. The ship tag was clogged with the same repetitive "haha, Roku and Sozin were exes" "haha, Roku and Sozin were gay" shit. A joke that was repeated over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over. With no changes, no new punchline. It was funny the first couple of times, then it lost the punch, then it became annoying and then... those jokes became enraging. I was becoming SICK of them.

I would much rather have there be no new Rozin posts, than the ship tag being cluttered with. the. same. shitty. unfunny. repetitive. joke. At least the lack of content would motivate me to actually share the AUs and hcs I made in private. It would be a challenge, a drive. But, the fandom is dead set on seeing them as "just angsty exes, lol".

Oh, but that's not why I decided to write here. You know what I'm about to say. The upcoming Roku centric book, that, of course has scenes that are almost hand-crafted to pander to Rozin shippers.

I know I should be excited. I should be happy. My ship is finally getting attention! Getting official interaction since, what? Over a decade of NOTHING?

But, I felt nothing.

At first.

Then, when I realized that I felt nothing I felt... rage? Sadness? Despair?

I used to LOVE Rozin. What happened? I should be excited. Why am I not?

It has been 5 years of that. Of Rozin being worse than nothing. Not even a ship, but an inside joke among ATLA fans. I would've been fine if the book interactions contradicted my hcs, I would just make new ones or change the old ones a little. But, I got tired. At this point, I feel nothing for the ship. Maybe annoyance. I definitely think I don't like it now. And it's sad. It's almost tragic.

I love Roku and Sozin as characters. And I used to love shipping them, as another way to explore and study them as characters. But now, I think, I will just block Rozin tag and dismiss any ship context if I do happen to start posting my ATLA fan art again and people would ask of I shipped them or not. I don't. Not anymore. If you really want a ship content with them, well, I suppose I have my OC x Roku ship, but, I'm certain no one would be interested in that, so I'll just keep it to myself.

Sorry for the long rant. Sorry that it sounds so dramatic or pathetic. But, I feel better after writing everything here. Maybe I can finally leave this all behind.

X

[k7l4d4]

K Reviews and Rants: Miraculous Ladybug Season 5! Episode 15

Hello everyone! Sorry this is late, I lost track of everything yesterday.

Now, there's not much about this episode to really go much into, but if I had to describe this one, it'd be that this is one of the episodes that, in hindsight, shows off how despicable and moronic Gabe is. Leaving to the side the retcon that a person still ages while using the Snake Miraculous' power to go back, this episode showed that, when given the choice between not having absolute control and opening up to someone, or even just taking the L and trying a new plan another day, Gabe would genuinely rather KILL HIMSELF then not be in complete control. Even leaving to the side how this episode stated how he could only use the Snake's power ONCE more without it killing him, this essentially means that, without any guarantee he would survive it, he would rather roleplay like he's an all-knowing mastermind then give up being the one with the power at any given moment. It's sad and pathetic. And we still don't even know why Tomoe is acting as his accomplice, when this episode had the perfect chance to do so given that his plan revolves around one of Tomoe's company's projects.

Anyway, enough about my whining, onto the episode! As always, warning for any profanity.

Episode 15: Intuition 

Okay, we are getting the scenes of Gabriel using Second Chance to try and spam a win... and I'm already pissed off because only revealing NOW that he's been secretly using this with EVERY AKUMA is utterly asinine. As is just having the Lucky Charm always change in each attempt at a time loop to function as an "I win button" rather than showing Ladybug using the same Lucky Charm in different set-ups. This- this is just OBNOXIOUS. 

And now we get a scene of him confiding in Nathalie, despite this supposed to be happening AFTER he's already alienated her. They really aren't even trying. 

And of FUCKING course now we get the bullshit reveal of "time rewinds for everyone but Gabriel," I do not GIVE A SHIT if the Cataclysm is a "mystical wound" or whatever BS someone wants to say, by that logic, Adrien should be an old man!! And Gabe has no one but HIMSELF to blame for even HAVING that fucking wound because he could've used Stompp's power to make himself immune to Cataclysm to start with!! 

"You can never use the power of second-chance again" DO NOT FUCKING ESTABLISH A RULE YOU ARE GOING TO BREAK!! WE KNOW FOR A FACT THAT HE IS GOING TO USE SECOND CHANCE THIS EPISODE, SO DO NOT SAY HE CAN'T USE IT!!! GOD FUCKING DAMMIT!!! 

Yup, this is after Nathalie allegedly "turned on Gabe" which makes the fact she's even TALKING TO HIM or giving him advice FUCKING STUPID!!! 

No, do not even TRY and make this a tender moment for fucking GABE, not after all he's done, and you do not get to try and have a tender moment involving Nathalie, not when she's been his knowing and willing accomplice SINCE DAY ONE. 

"Do it for Emilie" Don't even try bringing in that bullshit, not when it's already been fucking established that both Nathalie AND Gabe are deliberately ignoring her wishes and have been this entire time. Fuck that noise.

I'm just gonna ignore how the show is trying to act like Gabe gives a damn about Adrien altogether. Oh, and Adrien saying he likes to spend time with Marinette, if that's meant to be an "Awww, how cute" moment, it doesn't work because she literally only popped into his head after she called. And the show trying to make a joke about Marinette's overplanning tendencies doesn't work when they tried to tie those tendencies to fucking TRAUMA the very last episode. 

Oh boy, Gabe having tremors across his body and getting an ugly scowl from overhearing his son talk to Marinette... clearly this man is father of the year and NOT a controlling scumbag who can't stand the idea of his son dating someone HE hasn't picked out for her. 

The show having Gabe talk to his wife(s corpse) and saying that "they'll be saved, at last," just feels so pretentious because it's acting as if he has all these dire stakes he's working against, when ninety percent of his fucking problems are entirely his OWN DAMN FAULT. 

Oh for fucks sake, Gabe is LITERALLY WASTING HIS LIFE RIGHT NOW!! This isn't a risk, this is just him being a fucking MORON because he is literally trying to be shady and duplicitous with one of the few people HE DOES NOT NEED TO BE!!! You cannot frame this as him taking risks to save his wife, because literally all of these resets are because he's being an obtuse asshole and refusing to explain himself!!! 

Ugh, and we "finally learn Tsurugi's motivation." Nevermind that she "wants a new world" without explaining why or in what way, or even how this relates to her being in on his plots, and all it cost was Gabe being an obtuse asshole who could've gotten the codes just by stating "Hey, I'm going to be planning a really ambitious Akuma, and need to be able to access the Spaceplane, may I have the codes I need to get in?" Fuck this, there is no way you can make Gabe sympathetic in this at all.

And we get confirmation Gabe is a moron, since he literally just burned ANOTHER five minutes of his shortened lifespan pointlessly, rather than let Tomoe remember that he's vulnerable. THIS is the degree of petty selfishness that Gabe aspires to on a day-to-day basis. He will literally rather risk DEATH then let go of control. It's pathetic. 

Huh, wow. I'm honestly impressed with Max. Sharing tech and software like that is rare. 

We get a jab at Kim's intelligence, no surprise there. They really cranked up the dumb and ditziness of him this time around. 

Okay, not gonna lie, Gabe's plan this time is... honestly disturbing. ADA is, by all accounts, a genuinely intelligent AI, and is growing distressed at the loss of her pilot, and given that Gabe can Akumatize AI... yeah this is several degrees of scary to contemplate. I'm genuinely afraid at the moment at this plan. It's shit like THIS that makes the idea of Gabe being sympathetic impossible for me to buy into. 

Okay, that's even SCARIER then what I thought. 

While this plan is honestly a bit better than most of them, it really feels like he's forgotten that Chat Noir can take out the Meteorite, detransform, transform back, and then rendezvous with Ladybug in space. 

Yeah, Monarch made a new form of life suicidal with grief. Fuck him on so many levels. 

Wow, "Bugfighter," what a great name. /s 

Uuugggghhh... the fact that "Second Chance" can be triggered by ANYONE who can physically touch the Miraculous/Ring is dumb. As is the fact that Monarch didn't just, you know, WAIT UNTIL CHAT NOIR TURNED BACK TO TAKE THE MIRACULOUS!!! It's not like waiting would make the fact he'd be forcibly detransforming someone in the vacuum of space less fatal.

Wow, ADA had an emergency hammer, specifically for busting open the cock-pit all along. WHY did Max's mom not think of this before!? 

And whoopdy-fucking-doo, we get another "rejected Akuma." How original. Much shock. Much amaze. 

You can literally HEAR in the character's voices that the voice cast are hurrying things along and not really putting much effort into making this time travel loop convincing. Also, why did Monarch tell her to destroy the emergency hammer when he could've just told her to destroy Ladybug as fast as possible!? 

Now he's literally just throwing a fucking temper tantrum rather than admitting his "big plan" resulted in taking another L. This is pathetic. I literally cannot give a shit that he's burning through his life-span because it is ENTIRELY SELF-INFLICTED. 

Yeah, NO. Do not even TRY to pull a "tender moment." We all know he isn't even gonna pretend to stop his actions, and he treats Adrien like shit. Do not act like he's secretly a good father. He isn't. He's an utter piece of human garbage, and one who has nearly KILLED HIMSELF because he's too much of a petty asshole to accept defeat. Just... get the fuck over the idea of him being redeemable. He isn't. No effort to try and make "touching family moments" will change that. No, Nathalie, Gabe didn't take a huge risk, he wasted who knows how much of his remaining time on Earth throwing a fit like a toddler because he refuses to grow up and admit defeat.

[onlyshestandsthere]

Holy fucking shit. That chapter was amazing!!!

All the Jade guilt and inner turmoil was really well done. I know she made her decision to get Kit away no matter what, but the weight of her thoughts when it came to the alliance, all those involved, the possible repercussions, her own moral boundaries, baby gay Jade with Kelina and her family (my poor heart) and mostly her trying to suss out how to get Kit away, and the disgust, anger and the frustrated helplessness she felt in those moments about Kit's treatment, damn, all of that was intense.

And I got teary eyed when Jade caught on that Kit was ashamed. Knowing Jade was seeing her like that compounded the heartbreak I felt each time Kit was being tortured. I kept thinking of that fox you wrote about who preferred to gnaw off its own leg and die free rather than be trapped. Kit mumbling at the end though about Alavesh being mad was really sad and disturbing to see just how far gone she is.

ALSO, JADE CUT OFF ALAVESH'S ARM!! (I realise as I type this, it seems like I'm telling you breaking news when you obvs wrote it. Sorry, I just get excited lol). My heart was pounding throughout that entire ordeal. Full on semi hyperventilating and everything. And I gotta admit, that was morbidly satisfying. Not the hyperventilating, but the Alavesh's arm bit. Also not just the fact that it was a limb being hacked off but that Alavesh was knocked on her ass by Jade down a ravine and she no longer has that evil bracelet. HA!! YOU GOOO JADE!!! I do wish that Jade had finished off Alavesh somehow though, because that character freaks me tf out, she's already psychotic and now she's gonna be even more evil and rabid on the torture if she ever gets her hands on them. I'm actually scared for both of them if/when she ever finds them.

And I love Lavan so much! She is all sorts of precious and so smart. I was snickering when she sneakily took advantage of Jade's inattention to go back in line and then tried to find apples lol. It was kinda grounding to be reminded of something so sweet and wholesome with all the terrifying shit happening around them.

So they'll potentially have months travelling back together now huh, that sounds like months to unravel their issues and fall deeply in love. Once Jade stops bleeding and generally dying. Oh yeah, YOU MADE JADE GET STABBED!!! 😱 And I know Kit has been through hell but I'm really looking forward to seeing her take care of Jade too and to finally have the upper hand for once.

Is she gonna think about just ditching Jade though, even if it's just for a split second, considering what she's been through? Also, is there gonna be any sexy sparring later on? Like when they've recuperated and had all the therapy in the world, do we find out who pins who? As always, I totally understand if you can't confirm or deny, I'm just having a blast with this fic, thank you!!! 😄

Dang these are some very complimentary words. Thank you!

Yeah, Kit is super ashamed for 'giving in' sometimes even though she was wearing a literal magic torture collar and had zero other options. And having Jade (and the others, to a lesser extent) see it was a big blow, so a lot of going forward is about Kit sort of regaining her confidence and self worth, which will be hard because this is Kit 'Mental Health Who?' Tanthalos. A physical injury, she'd give herself some grace, but PTSD? She should just be able to get over that right away, right? Otherwise she's weak and pathetic. But having to take care of Jade will help a little.

And yay for Alavesh getting her arm cut off and shoved off a cliff!

And my god I'm so excited for Lavan’s journey in this fic she is such a good horse.

There will be sexy sparring, but I'll say no more. And Kit will absolutely think about ditching Jade. She needs to get away and helping Jade means stopping.

[kimberlyannharts]

misc thoughts on Issue #115 -

= The Rita/Tommy scene is still really good and just serves to prove how trying to force that same kind of connection between M*tt and Rita makes no sense. It's another thing where dropping the M*tt/Rita thing out of nowhere is technically bad writing (especially since Melissa framed it as Rita wanting her Coin back - but I guess she doesn't anymore??????) but at the same time I'm glad they just gave up on it because why bother

= Rather than actual character focus Aisha gets another "here's a fact about my life that'll come out of nowhere to justify my actions in this particular scene" moment because we can't seem to go a fucking issue without showing off how sad poor M*tt is and how he needs comfort. I think what makes me especially mad is we're confirming Aisha a) has parents that don't get along and b) dealt with anxiety and we didn't...........turn that into any sort of bonding between her and KIM??????? At least she gets to acknowledge Adam and Rocky later on

= Drakkon taking the piss out of him is funny though. Because he's right, M*tt WAS being useless <3

= After Zedd Ranger's cool and intimidating debut he's apparently been spending these last few issues sulking on the Moon because his Zord has "stalled." These comics are so allergic to making Zedd a primary bad guy and I'll never understand it. It gets especially pathetic for Zedd when scene itself ends with Zordon scolding Zedd for "stealing" Serpentera as if he's a child (and as if Promethea didn't steal it first). And then later on Zedd attacking early will ruin their little sneak attack plan

= The Jason/Kim scene is also good. Did you know there are people who seriously think Jason was "put out to pasture" just because he's not a Ranger anymore. He's gotten more consistent screentime and development in this event than pretty much all the MMPRs except Billy

= This is the issue where Death Ranger gets "destroyed" and to this day we still have no idea if this really is the end for them or if there's the possibility it was a fakeout and they could come back in the finale. The fact that as the story goes on Dark Specter will start losing generals (and thus Rita starts losing allies) points to this being their end, but at the same time Rita being the one to do it (right after bringing up her "capacity for forgiveness") means the possibility for their return could still be open. idk. It's one of those things where it's felt less likely as we got closer and closer to the finale without anything happening (and I guess they COULD just come back in the finale as another ally against Dark Specter, but.....that's such a waste of a character like them)

= Kim literally ends this issue targeted by Rita and unmorphed WHY DIDN'T SHE GET CAPTURED AND CORRUPTED RARGRGRHH

[schizophunk]

without being too schizo about it [proceeds to be too schizo about it]

i have to assume i'm a tar pit to other people and that responses to me are more like filler responses so people can avoid excess conversation. i don't complain to other people much (or really initiate conversations in general) because i guess it's easier; i assume I've broken some sort of social barrier somewhere that causes people to scoot around me— i can see this clearly but i don't know what i did. i feel my words are screenshotted/recorded frequently so i avoid talking about my feelings or talking to people. i don't think i've had an outburst (e.g lashing out/getting angry) at other people since last year. i keep count because i like to know how frequently i actually lash out vs when feelings are assigned to how i talk. when i talk normally & without sugarcoating i get accused of being a certain way but if others do then they're just being blunt, not mean. my anxiety doesn't really matter.

im aware almost no social situation can be solved with plain conversation, you don't go up to someone and say they're being weird in a way you don't like. people don't work that way. except i work that way so i don't know how to be that way.

i have pretty severe anhedonia— i haven't had any pleasure in my hobbies & life for a while now, i pretend to have fun a lot, because my flat effect makes others sad or anxious. i think if i died my family would be able to just say "he was okay" because thats all i say about myself. i only eat because i get bored. i don't sleep well and i forget to take care of myself frequently. the only thing i like doing is being around other people.

i have one (1) space where i complain and i try to keep it as me sobbing to a brick wall rather than to other people. otherwise the complaints become attached to my character.

that is all to say everything that i do i do for everyone else and not for me. thats not an ideal life and it hurts to live that way. i sadly do have kneejerk reactions that make me think i'm being bullied or pushed out because i'm trying to condition myself to be a machine and not a very sad human being.

but it also doesn't seem to work anymore and instead has this unintended effect where i become a tar pit. everything that goes in me doesn't come out? i hold methane gas inside of me that can cause an explosion? i lost what the metaphor means

i do constantly feel like a rabbit from the watership down where if someone catches me they will kill me. which yes i was almost killed & sa'd by a peer because i was Weird. that is most definitely why i can't handle social things like that, it probably does literally trigger me to the point that i need special accomodations. but that's kind of pathetic so instead im going to say im a tar pit people are trying to escape from and that's the issue. i need to lock in. i need to be batman

[xslytherclawx-writes]

chaya this is too much power I can just send you a string of things I am already 100% aware of your opinion on like 💛💙🖤🏳️‍🌈

You're straight up choosing violence.

💛: What is a popular ship you just can't get behind, and why? In any canon-adjacent setting: Jegulus. James is straight, also he viscerally hates all Slytherins (says straight off he'd leave Hogwarts if he were sorted there, proceeds to spend the next 7 years fighting with Slytherins), and as someone who has a perfect gorgeous charming older sibling who everyone prefers even to this day... sorry, even taking the "James is straight" and "house rivalry not a joke during a major war" out of the equation, Regulus would fucking hate James on principle of being Sirius's friend, let alone "like a brother" - particularly after Sirius ran away to live with James instead. This isn't to touch on the "Regulus joined a pureblood supremacist death cult at 16 and had a war crimes collage in his room" thing that Marauderstok likes to just pretend never happened. Regulus might've gotten over his younger sibling complex esp re: James in a good 10-20 years like I have with my sister (I even tell her fiancé that she and her best friend are like sisters!), if he hadn't. you know. died at 18. but James is still straight. also Dramione, in basically any setting lmfao. He signed up literally to murder people like her, and while I can see her forgiving him as he improves as a person, like... the reason drarry works is the mutual obsession. Dramione is two people doing the don draper "i don't think about you at all" as Draco fixates on Harry and Hermione fixates on school. Despite the giant essay for jegulus and the tiny paragraph for dramione, if i had to pick one i dislike more, it's dramione 100%. jegulus i mostly just do not understand at all because it's so opposed to my understanding of the characters. dramione has that and also the ick factor. and also all the self-inserts. let hermione be a bossy pushy know it all!!! let draco be a sad pathetic weasel!!! Drarry I like, though, and Harmony was my first HP ship and while I'm not an active shipper anymore, I have been known to enjoy it. Wolfstar is fine. I think that's all the HP juggernauts.

💙: Which character is not as hot as everyone else seems to think? Regulus Black. canonically described as "rather less handsome than Sirius had been". Biassed character saying "Regulus is hotter than Sirius" is fine, but the whole fandom seems to not understand what "rather less handsome" means in British (hint: "not handsome")

🖤: Which character is not as morally good as everyone else seems to think? Regulus Black. also Barty Crouch Jr holy fucking shit???? guys Barty is completely morally bankrupt and straight up evil he enjoys traumatizing and torturing people. he transfigures a child into an animal and then jerks him around in public just because he can. also James and Sirius and Remus too, though they're at least like, politically in the right.

🏳️‍🌈: Which character who is commonly headcanoned as queer doesn't seem queer to you? James Fleamont Potter. Kinsey 0. come on.

[writinggremlin]

Ok alright we know the drill we know what's up it's fucking soup time lets fucking goooo!!!

Also I just wanted to say that I spotted this 20 minutes after it was posted lookit me go!

1815 hmm?? Teehee

Lets go Lex backstory time!!

Oh hey!! It's the thing I was randomly thinking about last week!! "How did Lex end up under the Maestro himself? How did they even meet?" I'm predicting the future yet again!! /joking

Maestro name reveal? Maestro name drop??? Hello????

Awwwww!!!! This banter is adorable holy shit. Also is it just me or is Lex a little too... "fond" of Anders?

XJDBSUSBSBS I SAY THAT AND THEN LITERALLY THE NEXT SENTENCES ARE, "Anders looked down at Lex with that beaming smile, and Lex couldn't stop his heart from fluttering. He was a handsome lad, and Lex had been struggling with feelings he'd rather not entertain for some years now." LMFAO!!!

They're cute tho. I love that for him. Also Lex has a type confirmed.

Oh. Oh. Ok so not Maestro name reveal. Got it. But-- wait a second... doesn't this imply that Master Laurent is either a thrall or a spawn under Maestro?? Because if so then... Oh no. Oh no. This is sad.

I'm gonna take a quick guess on what's gonna happen from here: Maestro is there to find another... "student". You know, for his totally legitimate and not at all torturous "gifted student program". Uh-huh! Totally! Personal tutoring with one of the best! That's all it totally definitely is! Yep!

Anygay-- as the session goes on, Maestro singles out Lex, probably picking up on some of the magic within him due to his siren based lineage, sees his potential, and is like "yep. I'll be taking that one thank you very much." And thus, the wet cat era begins.

Let's see how right I am. Because THATS JUST A GAME THEOR--

An... acquaintance haha... (nervous) 😅

"[...] but that thought was quickly driven from his head as he concentrated solely on his music." Uneasy thoughts suddenly being dismissed? Check. Focusing all attention onto one single thing? Check. Hm... Is this going where I think it's going? Probably not, but that's a phrasing choice that caught my attention either way. (Update: it wasn't. I've just been reading too many hypnosis fics.) (...I'm not gonna stop anytime soon.)

NOOOOO!!! HE USED TO LOVE MUSIC SO MUCH!!!!! MAESTRO RUINED MUSIC FOR HIM THIS IS HORRIBLE NOOOOOOO MY POOR PATHETIC WET CAT BOI NOOOOOO!!!!!! WAAAAAAAAAA 😭😭😭😭😭😭

(Also I meant to mention this sooner but ey! Fellow choir kid! :D!)

The strange man is staring right at Lex and only Lex you say? Hmmmmmmmmm-- Well that was fast.

NO LEX DONT SHOW OFF!!!! NOOOOOOOOOO (his fate is already sealed. RIP Alexander 😔)

Maestro is whispering to Master Laurent like, "Yep. You know which one I want. Give him to me."

"You go ahead, Anders. I'II catch up to you once l'm done." NOOOOOOOOO!!!! DON'T MAKE THAT HIS LAST WORDS TO HIS CUTE LIL CRUSH NOOOOOOO!!!!! PLEASE DON'T LET THAT BE HIS LAST WORDS I CANT HANDLE THIS IMMA CRY MAN

"One which you shouldn't refuse." That is a warning. More like, "If you refuse, we are both fucked."

"...So anyway, how's about some one-on-one lessons with the best teacher there is? Eh? Eh??"

"Stop-- don't deny this offer. Take it. Take it. Please." *glancing fearfully over at Maestro, wherever the hell he went*

More than just his reputation is on the line.

"Something felt wrong about all of this, but Master Laurent always had a way of setting Lex at ease." And does that way happen to involve subtle enthrallment magic? Hmmm??? Something tells me~

"Excellent!" More like, "Oh thank the heavens!"

Lex better not be even a single minute late.

"...You're a good student, Alexander. One of the best. You always have been." What he actually means, "Goodbye. I'm sorry."

WAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH 😭😭😭😭😭😭

At least "I'll catch up" presumably weren't his last words to Anders, BUT STILL-- IMMA CRY MAN NOOOOOOOOOOO D: D: D: D: D: D:

WAAAAAAA 😭😭😭

Oo! More Lily! and Oliver getting his ability to read back next! Ough! Soup!

This soup was salty. ...10/10 would eat again!! :D!

(Also damn, my theory was more accurate than I thought it'd be. Nice. The fortune teller is back at it again /j.)

The Rare Bookseller Part 54: Alexander's Tutor

Prev > Masterlist

December 1815

Despite being wrapped in several layers of wool with hat, gloves, and scarf to match, the winter wind was chilling Lex to the bone. The evening was clear, with a bright moon overhead, and deceptively cold. Lex couldn't fathom why his voice teacher had chosen to hold practice so late in the dead of winter, yet another of his eccentricities. If he weren't one of the finest tutors in the region -- stern but fair and deeply knowledgeable -- Lex would have surely gone elsewhere by now.

But music was his heart's great passion, and he'd already seen such improvement under Master Laurent's tutelage. He really had no choice but to brave the winter and hope that his vocal cords weren't frozen solid by the time he arrived. So he soldiered onward, trying hard not to think about how much more pleasant it would be back in his chambers, curled up by the fire with a good book.

"There you are!"

Lex was suddenly clapped on the back by a strong hand. He turned to look into the grinning face of his close companion Anders. Anders was wearing only a sweater, not even a hat, his unruly mop of blonde hair gleaming in the moonlight. "Aren't you cold?" Lex asked.

"No. I'm made of sturdy stock," he said, laughing. "But you must be cold, seeing as you're bundled up so tight I could barely tell who it was."

"If you ask me, I'm the one who is being sensible," Lex said. "Without a hat, your ears are going to freeze and fall off. What would Master Laurent say if you went deaf?"

"I wouldn't mind. I wouldn't have to hear Thomas's awful squawking right behind me." Anders leaned in to look at Lex's face. "Are your teeth chattering?"

"No," said Lex, trying to keep his teeth from chattering.

"Poor little princeling, can't handle the cold."

"I'm certainly not a princeling."

"A little lordling, then. Don't worry, my lord, if you can't make it to your practice, I'll have to carry you."

"What --" Lex had no time to protest before Anders scooped him up in his arms and began to dash down the street, laughing at the top of his lungs. He couldn't help but cling to Anders's sweater. "Anders! You're going to slip on the ice!"

"And drop my lordling? Never."

"I hope your ears do fall off."

"What a rude thing to say to me, while I hold your very life in my hands!"

Anders looked down at Lex with that beaming smile, and Lex couldn't stop his heart from fluttering. He was a handsome lad, and Lex had been struggling with feelings he'd rather not entertain for some years now. Stunts like this were certainly not helping.

When Lex and Anders arrived at their lesson, cheeks red with cold and laughter, the choir room seemed strangely colder than usual. Master Laurent had a roaring fire in the hearth, as he always did -- it wasn't the temperature that was different, exactly, but the atmosphere. Master Laurent himself was standing behind his podium, busily arranging music sheets. Some of the other young men were huddled in the corner, whispering amongst themselves.

There was a strange man standing near Master Laurent, tall and thin and dressed all in black, with a foreboding nature about him. He was looking at the students with an expression that somehow conveyed both indifference and disdain, and seemed to be the source of the frigid mood. Something about his sharp gaze made Lex feel uneasy -- but thankfully, he barely paid Lex and Anders any mind as they took their places for practice.

"Quiet and take your places. It's time to begin," said Master Laurent, standing up straight. "Today, I've invited… an acquaintance of mine to observe the class, one who also happens to be an excellent music tutor. Now, let's begin our vocal exercises…"

Lex thought it a bit strange that Master Laurent hadn't introduced his acquaintance by name, but that thought was quickly driven from his head as he concentrated solely on his music. He had the finest voice in the choir, and it wasn't mere boastfulness for him to say so -- he had been told by respectable men, even Master Laurent himself, that his voice was unusually clear and arresting, effortlessly capturing a listener's attention with its rich tones. His voice, his skill at the piano, and his carefully curated collection of books were his chief joys in life, and it was easy for him to become lost in the music as he sang, feeling almost driven by a power greater than him.

That is, it was usually easy for him to focus. Tonight, however, he was becoming all too aware that he was being observed. A nervous glance revealed what he suspected -- the stranger in black was no longer regarding the group of boys with detachment. Instead, his gaze was trained on Lex and Lex alone, piercing as an arrow.

Lex swallowed hard and steeled his determination. Well, if this man wanted a performance, he would give him one. He'd show Master Laurent's acquaintance why he was the finest young voice at the university, and make his teacher proud. With confidence backed by talent, he hit every difficult note in the solo, his voice ringing from the rafters and holding the rest of the chorus spellbound.

Finally, practice was over. The stranger finally left his post to whisper something to Master Laurent, and freed from the weight of his gaze, Lex turned to Anders.

"Impressive," said Anders. "I've never heard you sing like that. You performed that solo as if you were possessed by a muse."

"I felt like I had no choice. That strange man was staring at me the entire time."

"Was he? I was trying to ignore him."

"Alexander?" Master Laurent was waving him to the front of the classroom. "A moment of your time before you leave."

"Yes, sir," said Lex. "You go ahead, Anders. I'll catch up to you once I'm done."

As he walked over to Master Laurent, Lex realized that the stranger was already gone.

"I have an exciting opportunity for you, Alexander," said Master Laurent. "One which you shouldn't refuse."

"What is it?"

"My acquaintance was so impressed by your voice that he wants to offer you private vocal lessons."

"I'm flattered, sir, but I already have private lessons with you."

Master Laurent looked pained for some reason. "His talent surpasses my own, I'm afraid. You won't find a finer music tutor in the country. It's one reason why he's so secretive -- he only takes on students of his choosing, and he chooses very few. He told me that your voice surpasses any he's heard in many years."

"It's kind of him to say so."

"…I don't think he's saying it out of kindness," said Master Laurent. "I strongly encourage you to accept the offer. My reputation is on the line."

Something felt wrong about all of this, but Master Laurent always had a way of setting Lex at ease. Besides, what harm could extra vocal lessons do? "…I suppose I don't see why not, if he's as skilled as you say."

"Excellent! Now, just one thing. My acquaintance is very private. He even keeps his name hidden. What's more, if the rest of the chorus learns that you've received an opportunity they have not, it might create bad blood between you. That's why I'm asking you to tell no one about this, not even Anders."

Lex wanted to protest, but truthfully, he knew Anders probably would be jealous. "All right. May I at least write to mother and father about this?"

Master Laurent looked oddly pained. "He really prefers his privacy," he said. "Besides, won't your parents be surprised when they attend the holiday concert and hear your improved voice? Don't you think that would delight them, if they didn't know beforehand?"

Lex nodded slowly. His parents didn't always take his musical talent seriously, preferring if he went into a more practical trade. It would especially be good to impress his father.

"Good, now that that's decided," his teacher said. He took a slip of paper and scrawled an address on it. "Here. It isn't far. Go here tomorrow evening at eight o'clock sharp, and knock three times at the door. Don't be tardy -- he won't accept tardiness. Do you understand?"

"I understand," Lex said, trying to shake off the odd dread that had consumed him.

"Good, good. Run along now."

"Thank you, Master Laurent, and have a good evening."

"Wait!"

His teacher's voice stopped Lex at the door.

"…You're a good student, Alexander. One of the best. You always have been."

What an odd thing to stop Lex to say. After all, he had another lesson with Master Laurent in just two days, and he always praised Lex when he'd done well. "Thank you, sir," he said, putting the slip of paper in his pocket and heading back out into the harsh winter wind.

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Thank you for reading this brief interlude into the past. Next, back to Oliver.

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[medicinemane]

So, this is about a post I saw a few days ago, that I even did a long response to, but then decided it wasn't worth inviting discourse into my life so I'm just going to write about it rather than directly share the post

The post is a screenshot from 4chan of a guy saying he's 19, never had any friends, never had a girlfriend, never had a real job, and that his life is over, and then someone else on 4chan saying "have you tried not being pathetic"

What drives me nuts is 99% of the what people said here on tumblr was just making fun of him for being a "weak model" of human or being melodramatic with only a real handful of people being at all sympathetic. We're talking like 2 people I saw last I checked out of like 1000 notes

So here's my problems with this and I'll try to distill it down more than I did in my response:

First, everyone's laughing at him for being 19 and feeling that way, because they're older and know things change. You're literally laughing at someone for not having the same amount of experience you do in the world and calling them an idiot for... not having the perspective of a 25 year old at 19. You see why that's stupid?

Second, it's just plain unacceptable. I don't care how melodramatic someone is being, if you're laughing at another person expressing anguish you're being an asshole

Third, I saw a few people making comments like just "Hitler" or how he had "Elliot Rodgers vibes" (a spree shooter), or how if he didn't have friends by 19 clearly he was an awful person who caused that to happen

A couple things on that one, first off I'm sure most of these people would say they'd never be ablest, that they support autistic people or whatever, but we literally no nothing about this guy other than what he told us. I can pretty well promise he's depressed, and I can't say for sure but certainly people who are neuroatypical can wind up without friends, unable to work, and otherwise isolated. You don't get to just pull back on making fun of people when you know they have a diagnosis, this is literally just the "I'd never make fun of someone autistic, I just make fun of weirdos" mentality

Other thing is on a personal note when I was in highschool one time I was hanging out with someone from school, and she just out of nowhere says to me that I looked like a school shooter. I don't think it was even meant to be mean because she went right back to normal conversation. I looked like a teen with a beard who usually wore an olive green jacket and kakis. So like comparing this kid to Elliot Rodgers offends me on a personal level because I was told something similar to my face by someone I was friendly with. I don't know what's wrong with some people honestly

Forth, we don't know other people's circumstances. We don't know if this guy is abused at home, we don't know what he deals with. Sometimes people's lives are just as bad as they say they are, they really are just stuck. The sad truth of the world is some people just have miserable lives and then they die in the streets

Just telling someone to pick themselves up isn't helping, actually lending a hand is helping. If you aren't willing to put in the effort to actually help, then shut the hell up. You don't get to start critiquing and advising unless you're willing to get down in the mud with them and start actually doing something

So that's most of my thoughts condensed as much as I can manage. At the core I just find the way people mocked this kid over being hopeless and started assuming things about him disgusting and unacceptable

In highschool everyone liked me, I didn't have any friends. I knew that at the time, I knew everyone at school cared, but not a single one of them every wanted to do anything outside school or anything. Sometimes things like not having friends aren't cut and dry someone being antisocial, sometimes they just don't have any connections deeper than school/work acquaintances who kind of like them. 100% of my friends I met on tumblr, and I have like 2 close ones and like a few more friend where everyone's just busy, and a number of good acquaintances

We don't know this kid's life, but people sure as hell jumped to conclusions, and you want to know what I bet this guy thought about being called pathetic? I bet he thought "they're right, I could fix things if I just wasn't such shit, but I can't fix things so I am pathetic and... I give up"

Anyway, I'd be interested in anyone's thoughts on this. I'd sincerely like to hear. I just don't feel like dealing with people likely to argue rather than discuss and I don't talk with brick walls, so I'd rather I keep it to people I actually like on here (and even though there's plenty of followers I've never spoken with you all seem pleasant and civil)

[angeldcgs]

birdie felt truly at a loss for what to do, the likes of which she'd never experienced in any other social interaction. she was a people person, naturally bubbly and easy to get along with— no one had ever held her accountable for her actions like this. not that she really had much to atone for, but she frequently used her looks to get her way, played dumb to dodge responsibility, led guys on just for fun; nothing damnable about it, but because nobody had ever directly called her out, she wasn't even aware that those behaviors could have a negative effect on others. seeing herself in this new light, being forced to accept that maybe she wasn't as innocent as she painted herself out to be, that maybe she was a bad person, it was all too much for the fragile thing to process at once. "n-no..." she sniveled, hastily shaking her head so that her blonde curls bounced. "no, i know, i... i'm s-sorry..." her breath caught in her throat as he continued to push further, reminiscing on the not-so-fond memory of an event she recalled with perfect clarity, full body tremors ceasing as she found herself paralyzed. of course she remembered. it was quite literally all anyone could talk about for months after that, perhaps going down as one of the most infamous stunts ever pulled in their small, mundanely suburban high school. the steadily rolling tears and wobbling lower lip were just about the only things moving on her body, as it felt as though her heart had ceased beating the second he had to go and get specific. she was silent while he spoke, at a loss for words, up until she blurted out, "no!" when he asked if she'd believed it, a knee-jerk reaction, but a lie all the same. she wanted it to be true, to have been able to see through the petty high school bullshit and realize all the sordid rumors swirling around elton were merely projections imposed upon him by small-minded assholes, but that simply wasn't reality.

"they... no— no i didn't kn-know... i didn't." another lie, one that stuck on her tongue and fell limp and pathetic at his feet once she finally spat it out. just looking at him hurt, because when she did, all she could see was that sad, broken boy she'd known all those years ago, the one who sometimes looked like he was silently pleading for help when their eyes would happen to meet, and it reminded her of how she'd conveniently looked the other way rather than offer him just an ounce of respite from the malice others doled out. and yet, she couldn't tear her eyes away now, thankful whenever a new well of tears would blur her vision only for them to drip down her face and reset the frame. she didn't want to speak, because hearing her own voice only reminded her of how she'd responded when leah bragged about the hilarious prank she and her boyfriend came up with— "guys! that's so mean!" and that was it. no efforts to try and stop them, no explanation of just why it was so cruel, but she'd been verbally opposed, and therefor remained blameless. so then why did she feel so fucking guilty? the picking apart of her own clumsy words made her flinch, feeling so foolish for ever thinking they were starting to become friends that she had half a mind to dart back to the sanctity of her apartment and never come out. her mouth opened, but no sound found its way out, stood there in a stupefied silence until he pressed further, at which point the trembling resumed. "i-i-i... i don't know, i don't—" every word felt choked out of her, throat tightening as she barely held back a pathetic whimper of submission. "i d-don't know, i... i think i-i'm..." there was a message she was trying to get across, some sort of reassurance that she didn't see him as a monster, that he'd come to represent something much more complicated that even she herself didn't quite understand, but she hadn't the slightest clue how to articulate that. "i'm sorry," she wailed, something in her seeming to snap as she flung herself at him and clung onto his shirt for dear life, wide, pleading eyes peering up at him through messy, mascara-dripping lashes. "i'm so-sorry, i didn't know i h-hu-urt you, i didn't mean t-t... i don't kn-o-ow what to do. ple-ease— elton... tell me what to d-do-o."

she felt bad. that surely fixed everything, that made up for the years of torment she had been witness to and made no effort to stop, that dissolved her of any responsibility or need for guilt at how she had encouraged her friend's judgements of him to that very day. maybe he would have considered absolving her if he hadn't seen her messages, he'd been willing to let the past go for the sake of trying to let her see her for who he really was but that was redundant now. then again, maybe he wasn't far off from the creep they made him out to be because there was something about watching birdie slowly dissolve into a flood of tears that was seriously turning him on. he had a power over her that he hadn't been aware of, for so long he'd had nothing to hold over people, always at the will of those around him but now, birdie was too soft to be able to survive with the guilt of knowing she'd hurt him, and that gave him control over her emotions. "feeling bad doesn't help me, does it?" it was a dangerous line to tiptoe, he couldn't be too cruel as to make her no longer regret the treatment he'd endured yet not too forgiving or else he'd lose his momentary leverage. "do you remember when aaron cohen slipped a pair of his girlfriend's panties into my bag at lunch? he told everyone that i must have broken into her house the night before and stolen them and i never lived that shit down. they called the fucking police on me, they beat me up after school, all over something they knew i didn't do." he watched as tears began to roll down her peachy cheeks and willed himself to not get hard at the sight. "did you believe it? he was dating leah, right? your best friend? did they tell you what they were planning?" sure, she was never the person at the front line of his harassment, but she'd never tried to stop it either. her smiles in the hallway had kept him going through high school but they were adults now, he needed more than passive regret to make up for everything, especially when she was encouraging continued belittling of him behind his back. "did you sit there and listen to all your friends come up with whatever stupid new rumour they were going to spread that week? that i- i killed my neighbour's dog or- they really started going crazy by the end, remember? the graveyard stuff?" he hated talking about that shit but he had to make his point known, even as the sudden influx of emotion made his voice shake. "sometimes what? for someone who wasn't afraid of him, birdie looked like she might drop dead from fright right then and there. she fumbled around her words, desperately trying to find an answer that would satisfy elton's sudden fury towards her but there was nothing she could say, nothing that would make it all okay. words were no longer enough, he wanted physical proof of her remorse. "what? what is it then?"