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[support]

Everything okay?

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The National Domestic Violence Hotline or 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)

Rape Abuse & Incest National Network or 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

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National Eating Disorders Association

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For more resources, please visit our Counseling & Prevention Resources page for a list of services that may be able to help.

[that-bloody-linguist]

I think this is inherently important to understand. I talk about this with my wife a lot.

She tells me that the world is unkind and makes her regret transitioning ever. And I understand. I see this with my two dumb eyeballs everyday and it makes me want to maul especially stupid individuals in cold blood.

And then she adds very quietly:

"If I had not transitioned, I would be dead by now."

And I understand that, too. It's a hard journey and everyone, who walks this path will always get my complete and utter respect for simply stepping up and doing it, despite all hindrances.

In the end, even if everybody you know leaves you, were they really worth to be around? All you can do is to keep moving and try to be kind to yourself, even if others are not. I admire her for going on. I admire that she left behind the "easy way out". And then I wonder, if I could have done the same in her place.

so much of the horror genre is informed by the metaphor of queer/transness as monstrousness. especially emphasizing the amount of horror that depends on the audience's repulsion at seeing a human body changing into a new, other body. I Saw the TV Glow is about the horror of NOT transitioning. the horror of static. the horror of looking into yourself and being terrified of what you see. the horror of seeing who you are and choosing to do nothing about it. the horror of looking away. and by god is it terrifying.

[n-u-b-e-s-n-e-g-r-a-s]

[messydoodles]

I never knew failure

When you won I was happy for you, I swear on my name

Deep down however…

I felt like a total failure

Now I’ve grown to be humble

to get back up

and most importantly accept failure

For once failure never felt so right.

~~~

I had an idea I wanted to draw

Basically Kung Lao self sacrifices himself by volunteering in a death match battle instead of Raiden doing it. He wins by stealing Raiden’s amulet before the battle through a hug to use all it’s power killing himself in the process

I love making angst its so fun

[wanderingmind867]

I made like 20 posts about my stupid ideas today. Almost all of them have zero notes. And today that's really bugging me. Because it took me way too damn long to write those notes out on here, and the lack of attention makes it seem like I did something annoying and futile. And I really don't like that feeling. So I need to ask if anyone actually did see them. In some of the posts I even tagged people to them, hoping that would prevent them from complete isolation. But it seems nothing worked. And considering i've been feeling pretty messed up all day (despite waking up at seven or seven thirty, i've only felt tired, sad and agitated today), it makes me feel just incredibly deeply bothered. I hate it. sigh...

[worthless-misery]

Dear diary...

Most of the time, I'm not really here.

I'm always trying to separate myself from reality. I try not to be aware of anything.

Reality hurts. I just want to stay as far as I can from it.

[ryomaandgundhamkin]

Blitz…

THE THINGS YOU DO TO ME…

[ncsdlr]

I Want it All

Wanda Maximoff x Reader

A/N: kinda angst i think? Also, think of this as me opening up to all of you:)

-----------------------

“I want you,” Wanda said as the two of you comfortably sat on her sofa. She was sitting sideways on the sofa just to face you, her head propped up on her fist which rested on the back of the couch.

You were mirroring the position she was in, laughing just before her declaration. You didn’t stop smiling, but your mind ran a mile a minute. You thought of all the ways she could have meant her words. You didn’t dare assume it was what you hoped for because what right did you have to even consider that?

So, in light of that, your brows knitted together slightly, your confusion peeking through your nerves. “All of you.”

----------------------------------

And so, after that, you and Wanda shared a blossoming relationship. It was fun and warm. Wanda was the girl you’d had the tiniest crush on- someone you thought was never gonna be your friend, but oh, you became friends. As the friendship went on, you liked her more and more, and you thought she was never going to reciprocate your feelings, but oh, would you look at that: the two of you are girlfriends now.

Wanda was the well-known kid in school. Not popular, but she got around just fine. She blended in with every crowd she found herself in. She always fit in. On the other hand, you were the type to mostly keep to yourself. Yes, you had friends, but you always chose to stay in your lonesome over hanging out in places other than school.

Currently, you held Wanda in your arms, cradling her tired body into a peaceful slumber. Your mind was adrift during all this because yes, your relationship with Wanda is happy, and its been a month and she’s yet t hurt your feelings in any way but you just couldn’t shake the feeling of this being entirely temporary.

Really, the only one making you sad is you. Like your mind is against you and is trying to sabotage your relationship by feeding you false possibilities. It held you back from truly loving Wanda the way she deserved- it held you back from loving Wanda the way you wanted to love her.

You love her- you love Wanda. It only took you a few moments to fall in love with the way she is and who she is. You love her pretty eyes, and you love her sokovian accent. You love it when she plays with your hair and the rings on your fingers. You love the way she says your name and when she call you “love”, “my dear”, or “sweetie”.

You love Wanda.

--------------------------

It was three months in, and surprisingly, you hadn't done anything to mess the relationship up yet. It was a terrible feeling to have- just anticipating the moment everything will go to shit. It was tiring to feel- you were tired.

You knew it would alleviate your stress to just talk to Wanda about it, but you simply could not bring yourself to do it. It was the healthy solution and logically correct solution, but in your mind it would bring Wanda's mood down to know you'd been feeling this way.

You knew Wanda would be chill to talk about how you'd been feeling. She was into deep stuff like that. That's why your conversations always consist of deep feelings and authentic thoughts. It was one of the many things that you loved about her.

Wand loved you, too. She loved that you never complained about anything. In her eyes, you were the strongest person ever- physically and mentally. Yet even then, Wanda can't help but wonder what was really going on in your mind.

She wondered if your mind was playing tricks with you. She wondered if you overthink. She wondered if you were obsessed over every little thing and change in anything. She wondered about your mind so much that it would hurt her own. Because surely, you had struggles as well.

She was certain that you were fighting inner demons as well. She only hoped that you would share them with her. If you didn't, then she might have to take drastic measures.

She would take you on a midnight picnic date under the stars and ask you about everything that went on in your mind.

-------------------------------

From Wanda's point of view, you were the best lover she could ever have. She loved the little sticky notes you would leave around the house- her favorite was when you put one on her forehead that said 'i love you'.

Wanda also loved that you bought her flowers all the time. When you finished class before her, you would have a flower ready to give her. She loved the little kisses you would give her, too. Your lips were always sweet against hers. She loved how softly you would kiss her.

She also loved that your kisses weren't limited to just on her lips. You would kiss her anywhere you could. It didn't even have to mean anything sexual to you or her. You simply kissed because you wanted to- because that's how you wanted to show the love you harbored for her.

Wanda always felt so special and loved whenever she was with you. You calmed her down, you helped her relax. You were her rest. She loved that she could always come home to you. With the way that you showed her you love her, she was sure that you would never hurt her.

She was sure that you would always be there for her.

--------------------------

Speaking of sexual shebangin', the first time Wanda had brought that up was a month into your relationship. She thought you weren't ready yet and that's why you hadn't initiated any sex, but when the day came that she told you she wanted to take the next step in your relationship, she found the true reason why you hadn't dared touch her in any other way than innocent yet.

Truthfully you were afraid you wouldn't be able to please her. No, you weren't a virgin, but with little experience, you doubt you could make someone like Wanda feel good.

That faithful day, you admitted to Wanda that you feared she would have to fake her orgasms if and/or when the two of you fuck. Unfortunately, you didn't admit the part that that fear ran deeper than your sexual desires.

After that conversation about sex with Wanda, the next night, you searched on YouTube 'how to make your first sex with your girlfriend romantic'. Safe to say, you followed every step with your heart. You were thinking "If I can't actually make her cum, I should at least make the room look nice".

That's how your shared bedroom turned a pink hue with petals littered on the floor. The vanilla-scented candles also added a warm homey feel to it as well, and you hoped that even if Wanda didn't cum when you made love to her, she feels safe during the whole thing

-----

After the lovemaking had come to an end, Wanda was more limp than a vegetable that has been sitting out of the fridge for more than an hour. The scene wasn't all that lengthy. You made it a whole forty-eight minutes before cringing at how you hadn't made Wanda cum even once.

Unbeknownst to you though, you were the best sex Wanda's ever had. If only you knew how good she felt when you handled her. You checked up on her regularly, and it surprised her that you would pick up on the pace of her breath.

Every time her breathing speeds up, you'd pause and ask if she was okay. Wanda loved that your caring side shone through even in the deepest throes of intimacy.

Wanda felt so special during those forty-eight minutes. The way your hands would run all over her body, your lips tracing every curve of her skin. She loved.

Wanda enjoyed the scene and the way you made her feel. She also loved the effort you put into making the room romantic and pink for her. Pink was one of her favorite colors, so it made her feel more included that the room was in that hue.

As limp as her body was after, her legs just couldn't stop quivering, the aftershocks of her multiple orgasms still coursing through her as if she just had one.

Her legs jerked close and then open again as your fingers slipped out of her, hoping you didn't notice the bit of cum that spurted out of her with finality. She was definitely done. there was certainly no way she could go again after you gave her consecutive orgasms with your tongue and your fingers.

The woman even squirted.

She doubted you noticed, though, because your face was thoroughly buried into her cunt, her bush further impairing your vision as you brought her pleasure in that moment.

--------------------------

Yet even then Wanda felt that that date under the stars needed to happen. She just wanted to know you more. She wanted to be the one you would tell all your secrets to because she wasn't that person to you yet.

It made you laugh- how ominous she initiated the date. All she'd said was to get into the car because she was taking you somewhere. It was truly humorous.

The car ride to the hilltop was fairly silent. A comfortable quiet had befallen the ride early on as the two of you bore soft smiles- barely noticeable -on your faces. Wanda was toying with the ring you wore as she drove, twisting and pulling at it from time to time.

On the inside, you were mostly calm, completely unaware of what's to come. All you wanted to do at the moment was to enjoy this date with Wanda. The only thing you wish you got to do before this was buy her a flower.

You already weren't doing enough in the relationship and here you are empty-handed on a date with the love of your life. Suddenly your mind drifted into some place nicer just as Wanda's hand enveloped yours.

Soon enough, the car came to a stop, parking by a tree before the two of you got out of the car and settled onto the grass. Wanda found herself leaning her back on your front with your arm around her waist.

Minutes passed before Wandda opened her mouth to speak, her eyes fleeting across the night sky as her nerves trembled underneath her calm facade.

"What were you like when you were a kid?"

You gave a thoughtful hum, your hand finding leverage on Wanda's hair, "Just like I am now. I was always the quiet kid in the corner that nobody paid attention to...and y'know, I kinda like it that way- one less things to worry about."

"Did you ever wish that more people would interact with you?"

Your brows furrowed, "No, I...sometimes I do, but if I were to choose, I wouldn't choose that."

Wanda's hand caressed the side of your thigh, finding comfort in the warmth that it exuded to her. "That sounds sad...," she noted.

"It's really not-"

"No, it is, Y/N..." your breath hitched, now looking down at the redhead that had migrated to lay her head on your lap. Wanda gave a few seconds of pause before she spoke again, "Do you ever think that you've lost opportunities because you're so distant from other people?"

"Oh, I definitely have," you chuckled humorlessly, "But more will come in due time..."

"Baby, it's like you just dont care- do not care about living your life?" Wanda pressed.

"Wands, I love you, but you don't have to be my therapist."

You sighed as Wanda continued to pry you open. Your girlfriend sat up, facing you with furrowed brows and determined eyes this time, "Okay, can I just tell you how you make me feel?"

In your mind, you were thinking 'the moment I've been waiting for-its definitely over-the ship sank before it even sailed', but as Wanda spoke the first few words of her sentence.

"You make me feel amazing. You make it seem like I'm the only girl you've ever loved- like I'm the only girl you will only love. I can see that you love me- I can feel it, but I can also feel something heavy is weighing on you."

Wanda took your hand in hers and caressed your knuckles with her thumb, "Baby, you can tell me anything. If something or someone hurts you, I want to know and be there for you. If you have something on your mind- and it doesn't matter what it is -I wanna know about it. I want to be the one you run to, my love."

One of her free hands rose to hold your face lightly- yours met her there as you took all that she said in, "Don't hold back from me, love. When I said 'I want you', I meant all of you. I want all of you. Your heart, your mind, your mess, your beauty, your weakness, and your strength. I want it all."

You tore your eyes away from Wanda's, unable to bear the sincerity you saw so clearly in them, "I just...," you shook your head with a sigh, "I gotta hide.'

Wanda blinked, trying to meet eyes with you yet to no avail, "Hide? What?"

Suddenly Wanda found herself on her back, the grass, brushing along the exposed skin of the back of her neck. With a shaky gasp and a giggle she spoke, "Y/N/N, this is not the time nor the place for sex."

You ignored her words and buried your face into her neck, finding the wall you wanted to hide behind before spilling your guts on the table. "I just never felt the assurance in anything. If I do something, I do it alone, so I tend to have to figure things out myself. And now that you like me, and this is my first relationship that's lasted this long, I just keep thinking I'm going to mess up one way or another."

Wanda listened carefully, her hand rubbing along the length of your back. "I'm messed up in the head, if you can't tell. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know how to love anyone right."

Your girlfriend's head jerked up at your last words, entirely baffled at the notion of you being incapable of love, "Baby, you think leaving little 'i love you' notes around the house isn't 'loving anyone right'?"

"Well, I-"

"And you think fresh flowers every single day for five months isn't 'loving anyone right'? Y/N, the only thing you've done this whole time is love me. Plus, there is no such thing as 'right way to love'. You simply show the person that you love them in any way you can-"

"Exactly! But I'm not sure if I'm making you feel as loved as you make me feel."

Wanda cupped your face and guided you to look at her, "Y/N, this is the most love I've felt in my life," she said softly.

As your eyes bore into hers, you continuously saw nothing but the sincerity behind her words. And that made you want to cry. It was like this big weight sliding off your shoulders. You could finally let go and just love.

You sniffled, "I love you, Wanda."

Wanda nodded slowly, a smile growing on her face, "I know, baby. I love you too."

You smiled back at her, finally able to believe that she knows you love her.

"Can we get McDonald's now?"

-------------------------------

thoughts?

[ben-the-hyena]

@papabirdurskeks

After his mother is taken away, Dumbo is seen standing on his own, swaying sadly from side to side. This is actually an accurate depiction of what elephants do when they are emotionally distraught. x

DUMBO (1941) | dir. Samuel Armstrong, Norman Ferguson and Wilfred Jackson

[voidic3ntity]

the endless moments of some deepening ephemeral chasm.

[xxjustshakeitupxx]

Damn that fucking sucks, I'm still gonna ship BakuDeku regardless but congrats to the other side

[n-u-b-e-s-n-e-g-r-a-s]

[divinecrimson]

-Thinking about reader trying to leave Gojo because they know that they are gojo’s weakness

Warnings: angst, anger, sadness, arguing, mentions of death, romance, love, reader gender not implied.

A/n: I wrote this at 6:37 am lmaoo. I don’t like writing in first or second person but I decided to try it out today and push my comfort zone.

You loved Satoru you truly did, but you knew you’d never be able to date him. There were a number of reasons actually. One being that he was the strongest so people will target him until the day he dies and if you enter the picture you could get him killed accidentally. They’d distract him by endangering you and take the chance they get so no, you couldn’t do that to him. You couldn’t be his downfall.

Yesterday Satoru took you on a date, he made sure to grab flowers, pretty shoes for you and bought you makeup though you told him not to for almost three hours. You felt his love, that was his way of showing it. Though you loved him and he loved you..,.you couldn’t give in. Not when you’d be the reason he gets killed.

“Toru….I’m sorry but this isn’t going to work out…” he smiled as you spoke thinking you were joking until he noticed your unwavering expression. “What do you mean pretty?” You almost cried at his hurt tone and the way his face twisted up in confusion. “We can’t be together..,Satoru.”

At that his anger shot up. Never once had you called him by his full name since he was courting you. It had been a year and now you guys were back to strictly name bases? “What?!? Why not y/n?! Did I do something wrong!!?” His panic rose. To be honest this was the first time you’d seen him angry. Usually when he was mad his breath would hitch and he’d remain in composure but he was breaking.

“I can’t be with you if I can be the reason your taken from me!…your the strongest right? What happens if someone uses me against you?! the only way to prevent that is to not be with you!!?” He stood up holding your face with his bare hands, the way he felt gentle to the touch even though he was upset almost made you fall harder for him.

A true gentleman. “Listen….if that’s how the strongest ends..I’d accept that. You should too love.” He watched you snap into tears. He just wasn’t accepting what you were saying and he thought of you being his downfall hurt. The pressure was too much. “Nothings going to stop me from being a happy man with you. Strongest or not you are my weakness and I don’t care if that leads to anything else because I love you in the past, now and forever.”

[chibird]

It's necessary to have hope in hopeless times. Things will get better if we keep moving towards the source of the light, even when it's dark.

Chibird store | Positive pin club | Instagram

[simonn0el]

Inspired by this post.

Prints available here

[rainydays]

Lonely nights.