#rupert you goof

[yours-the-author]

BIG OL' DORK ALERT! (affectionate)

WHY ARE MY THOUGHTS IN A CLOUD. GET BACK INSIDE MY HEAD!!!!!!

[medievalandfantasymelee]

THE HOT MEDIEVAL & FANTASY MEN MELEE

SECOND ROUND: 10th Tilt

Hubert Hawkins, The Court Jester (1955) VS. Samwise Gamgee, The Lord of the Rings Trilogy (2001-2003)

Propaganda

Hubert Hawkins, The Court Jester (1955) Portrayed by: Danny Kaye Defeated Opponents: - Saburo Naotora Ichimonji [Ryu Daisuke], Ran (1985) - Haldir [Craig Parker], The Lord of the Rings Trilogy (2001-2003)

“he's hot both in “local out of his depth idiot mode” and “over the top romantic hero mode”. he fences like nobody's business. he's the only man of all time to pull off a jester outfit and make it look actually snatched. Danny Kaye needs this, please.”

Samwise Gamgee, The Lord of the Rings Trilogy (2001-2003) Portrayed by: Sean Astin Defeated Opponents: - Rand al’Thor [Josha Stradowski], The Wheel of Time (2021-) - Sir Leon [Rupert Young], BBC’s Merlin (2008-2012)

“Prime husband material. The bestest man -er, Hobbit. HE'S A GARDNER. He hits orcs with a frying pan. HE CAN'T CARRY IT FOR YOU BUT HE CAN CARRY YOU-!”

Additional Propaganda Under the Cut

Additional Propaganda

For Hubert Hawkins:

“He sings! He dances! He fences! He wears really tight leggings!”

“We love a hot, funny, good-hearted man who subverts the gendered tropes of the subgenre! He is absolutely shit at sword-fighting! He is great at doing funny voices! ‘Tenderness and kindness can also make a man,’ says the awesome trousers-wearing heroine who works alongside him in the anti-tyrannical resistance, ‘a very rare man.’ She's right and she should say it and I support them both so much. Hubert Hawkins, world's sweetest and funniest surprise regent (who gets the girl.) See also attached photo of him goofing around with drums on set, I love him so much.”

For Sam Gamgee:

“He is the ideal man. He cooks, he gardens, he's loyal, he'd follow you to the ends of the (Middle) Earth while only mildly complaining. He's so loveable. I love him. He probably gives awesome hugs and never says an unkind word about anyone except for Gollum but Gollum kinda deserved it for calling Sam fat. He is also, reportedly, an awesome dad. I love Samwise Gamgee so much. He's such a teddy bear I love him so much. Frodo should've married him.”

[casuallyobssessed]

Hold Me Tight (Or Don't) - Rupert Marshetta x GN!Reader ❥ 2.2k Words

A/N: My submission for Week 2 (Scary Movie) of 97keanu's Keanuween event :) *Fall/Scary Movie Themed Fluff. Let me know if you see anything wrong. It was written as implied fem!reader but going back through I think it's better described as GN. No beta. *Both characters are 18, This is an AU where Carla is normal towards Rupert :) Warnings: Hand Holding, Kissing, Ice Cream (?), No Use of Y/N

Archive Of Our Own Link

You made it a tradition to stop by Carla’s Twin Twister every day after school. Even when the leaves started changing and the air turned cool, you made it a point to always get yourself a special reward for making it through another day. 

Sure, the shop was a little out of the way, but it wasn't just their sweet treats that kept you coming back. The shop's manager, for lack of a better term, had caught your attention.

Since Rupert dropped out of school, he was working nearly every time you visited. You still weren't sure of his exact position, considering the amount of goofing off he does when you're there. Carla always seemed to be the one who gave the orders, but she insisted that Rupert was, in fact, the manager. 

With each visit, you would mix up your order and try out something new. Lucky for you, Rupert was just the guy for experimental flavors. He was frequently surprising you with new ice cream concoctions that sent your taste buds to heaven and back. 

Today, though, something feels different as you hop off your bike and rest it on its kickstand in front of the Twin Twister. Maybe it's the chill in the air as the breeze nips at your cheeks. You pull your scarf up higher and shove your hands into the pockets of your coat. Inside the shop, you can see Rupert animatedly having a conversation with Carla, waving his hands and hopping around. The sight makes you giggle. He reminds you of a clumsy, easily excitable puppy dog with too much energy. Carla points in your direction before Rupert turns around to see you walking up to the window. He smiles and waves eagerly at you from behind the counter.

“Hi Rupert,” You say, voice slightly muffled by your scarf.

“Hey! There's my favorite customer. With how cold it's getting, I almost thought you weren't coming by today,” He says with a huff, feigning annoyance.

Your cheeks heat up at him calling you his favorite customer. You don't know if he is as enthusiastic with other customers as he is with you, but you secretly hope he isn't. 

“I think it’d have to be snowing to keep me away from here.” 

“Fair enough,” He nods, “You wanna try this new sundae I came up with? I'm trying to get Carla to put it on the menu, but she says I have to get more opinions on it first.” 

“Sure. Meet me out back?” 

“Yeah! Just give me a minute.”

You head around to the side of the building and take a seat on one of the two cinder blocks beside the employee entrance. Not long after you sit down, Rupert comes bounding out of the building armed with a very colorful looking sundae and two spoons. He hands you the bowl and plops down beside you. 

“I call it Rupert's Rainbow Surprise. It's got vanilla ice cream with fruit loops and fruity pebbles. All topped off with a chocolate drizzle, sprinkles, whipped cream, and a cherry,” He explains excitedly while handing you a spoon, “Try it!”

You take the spoon from him and go in for the first bite. It's fruity, chocolatey, and chock full of sugar. The texture throws you off a bit, but besides that, it's pretty good. Rupert watches you intensely, awaiting your reaction. 

“Hmm,” You go back in for another spoonful to analyze, “I give it an A minus. If I was Carla, I'd definitely put it on the menu.” 

“A minus?!” Rupert exclaims. 

“Yeah. The texture is a little weird, but the overall taste makes up for it, I think.” 

“Duly noted.” 

It doesn't take long before the two of you completely demolish the sundae. You set the empty bowl on the ground beside you and listen to Rupert talk for a bit. He loves telling you about all of the inventions he’s working on. Today’s topic is the new burglar alarm he's building for his room. It sounds pretty complicated to you, but you listen with an open mind. 

Once he's done explaining, you sit silently thinking about how you could listen to him talk about anything. With his enthusiasm, you wonder how he’d sound reciting poetry or reading the phone book to you. You are completely lost in thought until you remember you never actually paid him for the ice cream. 

“Oh shit, I forgot to pay you. How much was it?” You unzip your coat and dig into one of your interior pockets for your wallet. 

“No charge this time,” Rupert smiles at you briefly before casting his eyes downward and furrowing his brow. His cheeks were tinged red when he looked back up at you with his big, brown, puppy dog eyes, “I do have an idea of how you could pay me back, though.” 

“Yeah, absolutely, anything. What's up?” You nod at him enthusiastically and drop your hands into your lap.

“Wanna go see a movie with me tomorrow night?” 

Was Rupert really asking you on a date? You could feel a blush creeping up your neck and hoped that your scarf was hiding most of the scarlet painting itself across your cheeks. 

“What kind of movie?” 

“Do you like scary movies? Halloween 4 just came out. We could go see that.” 

“Hmm…”

You paused to consider his offer. You weren't a huge fan of scary movies, watching most of them through the cracks between your fingers and eyes almost closed. On top of that, you haven't seen the other Halloween movies yet. Rupert looked at you expectantly, nervously fidgeting with the spoon in his hand. There's no way you could say no to that face, especially considering the fact that you have been dying to spend more time with him.

“I think I'd like that a lot, Rupert.” 

“Sweet! I'll meet you at the movie theater around six tomorrow, okay?”

“Sounds good to me.”

“I gotta get back to work, but I'll see you later.” 

Grinning ear to ear, Rupert hops up off his cinder block seat and goes back inside the Twin Twister. Hanging out with Rupert at the shop was fun, but getting a chance to go out on an actual date with him? It felt unreal. You gather your trash and throw it away before walking back to your bike. The entire ride home consisted of you making up potential scenarios in your head for how the date could go catastrophically wrong. 

-

After an hour of picking and choosing, you find yourself in one of your favorite chunky sweaters, blue jeans, and a pair of black converse. It was a simple look, but it gave you the most confidence out of all the outfits you tried on. Comfort and warmth was your goal with the  weather getting cooler. Once you put away all the rejected outfits, you check the clock and realize you only have thirty minutes before the showtime. In your indecision, time has gotten away from you. 

Rushing out of the house, you grab your keys and hop on your bike. You’d prefer to get there a few minutes early. One of your disastrous date scenarios included you getting there half an hour late, only to find Rupert had grown tired of waiting and left. The risk of being late outweighed any further preening you wanted to do in the mirror. 

While riding down the road, you're reminded of why you love October. Carved jack-o'-lanterns and painted pumpkins decorate all the porches in the neighborhood. Orange and red leaves litter the road, crunching underneath the wheels of your bike. The sun is hanging low in the sky, casting a pinkish glow across the sky. With all the beauty of fall preoccupying your mind, you almost forget how nervous you are for this date.

As you pull up to the theater, you see Rupert standing outside, leaning up against the building. He’s wearing his signature green coat and a huge smile plastered on his face as he sees you approach. You park your bicycle in the rack out front and try to ignore how much your hands are shaking. 

Walking up to the ticket booth, you’re steady fidgeting with the zipper on your coat. You know there's no reason to feel so much anxiety, but you can't help it. Rupert meets you in front of the ticket window. Still sporting a goofy grin, he reaches out and gives you a big bear hug, lifting you off the ground and setting you back down. You definitely were not expecting that. 

“Whoa! Hey,” You manage to get out once you stop giggling. The hug is a good reminder that you know Rupert. It wasn't like you were going on a date with a complete stranger. 

“Hi. Sorry if that was weird, just thought it'd be a good idea to break the ice, y'know?” Rupert rubs the back of his neck. 

“No, it wasn't weird. It definitely helped,” you say, smiling back at him.

“Awesome! You ready to go in?”

You nod at him. He pays for your tickets, takes your hand, and begins leading you inside towards the concession stand. The moment he grabs your hand, though, you freeze up. Holding hands with him felt as if you had just grabbed a live wire. Your brain has to reboot itself before reminding you to follow behind him before he starts dragging you along. 

Faced with another dozen choices for the evening, you struggle to pick out which candy you want. There's simply too many options. Rupert helps you decide on a few different ones that you both like and pays the gentleman behind the counter. 

Loaded with drinks, popcorn, and candy, you make your way into the theater. Rupert insists on seats directly in the middle, “it’s clearly the best viewing angle.” There's already a handful of people who are seated, but thankfully none are sitting too close by.

You make it through the trailers and beginning of the movie perfectly fine. It gives you the perfect opportunity to eat some popcorn and dig into some sour gummy worms. The second any kind of action starts up, you feel yourself inadvertently reaching for Rupert's hand. 

The impending embarrassment is avoided as he squeezes your hand reassuringly and gives you a small smile. This helps for a while. It brings you some comfort until there's another scary part that has your hands flying up to cover your eyes. You feel Rupert's arm wrap around your shoulders and pull you as close to him as the arm rest allows. The hard metal digs into your side, but you don't mind. 

Looking away from the screen, you focus all your attention on your date. Light illuminates his face as the scene progresses and gives you a moment to appreciate his features up close. He's got those big brown eyes that always have a glint of mischief in them, combined with a sharp jawline and pouty lips that make you wonder what they taste like. It makes you a little dizzy to think about.

Before your mind wanders too far, Rupert must finally realize you’re staring at him because a hint of red starts forming on his cheeks as light flashes across his face again. He turns to look at you with a shy smile that makes you take note of the butterflies making their home in your stomach. Your heart begins hammering inside of your chest. For a second, all you can do is stare at each other until Rupert makes the first move.

“Can I kiss you?” His voice is a timid whisper, barely audible over the sound of the movie. 

You gulp. Rupert can't seem to look anywhere but your lips. You're thankful for this because it means he's not looking at the fear in your eyes or shaking that's returned to your hands. Were you really ready to experience your first kiss? With Rupert Marshetta of all people? You've never wanted anything more in your life… probably.

After careful consideration, you nod and whisper back, “please.” 

Rupert gingerly cups the side of your face and leans in. His pupils are blown wide as he studies you. You're not fully convinced that he can't see right into your soul. 

He brushes a thumb across your bottom lip, sending your heart rate skyrocketing. Not quite sure what to do with your hands at this point, you let one rest on his thigh and use the other to comb your fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck. Surprisingly, you're the one to close the distance between your mouths. The initial contact sends shivers down your spine as you gently press your lips to his. 

Kissing doesn't feel like fireworks the way you thought it would. The butterflies that were in your stomach are nowhere to be found now. No, this feels more like an out of control bonfire raging in your chest. You want to add more fuel to the fire, see how high the flames can reach. 

Rupert’s lips are warm and soft, coaxing you to keep kissing him until your head starts spinning. Pausing for air, you pull back from him, a string of spit obscenely connecting your mouths before it pops. He rests his forehead on yours, both of you mildly out of breath and panting. Smiling, Rupert laughs, grabs your face, and goes in for another deep kiss. Maybe scary movies weren't so bad after all.

[echotrinityme]

Rosevin week 2023 Day 5: Dancing

I decided to participate in the ships week by @blue-fanlady and I wanted to write a Charles x Ellie fic. I think I prefer this couple than Rosemin.

Charles was nervous.

Which was weird.

Charles was never nervous. The last time he remembered he was worried was when he first got into the military to make his dead parents proud.

But now...

He was nervous as hell.

Why you may ask?

He wanted to ask Ellie Rose out and he didn't know how.

Charles was shaking with anxiety while being with Henry and Rupert. Rupert and Henry were talking or more like flirting. Charles knew these two were together and so did everyone else. However, these two dumbasses think no one knows about them. Charles kept watching them as someone came over to them. Ellie came over to them and Charles's face became red as her hair and he felt his heart beating faster.

"Hey, guys," Ellie said happily, Henry and Rupert waved hi at her while Charles was having an Ellie attack. Ellie turned to Charles who jumped a little, Ellie saw he was trembling and she smirked.

"Hello, Charles," Ellie said, her tone sounding different like it was seductive.

Charles immediately felt chills running through his spine and his face became redder in the process. He avoided his eyes at Ellie, "Um... uh... hi... Ellie,"

Ellie giggled as she felt her face warm, she loved Charles's flustered state and that's why she enjoyed teasing him. And that's because she has a crush on him too. Of course, she doesn't know Charles has feelings for her. They don't realize they have feelings for each other but think they don't have a chance.

Rupert and Henry stared at them. Henry shook his head while Rupert a hand to his face in annoyance, they were tired of seeing them fumble around their feelings for each other.

Charles glanced at Ellie as he heard snickering coming from Henry and Rupert. He mentally growled, he mentally took in a deep breath and stared at Ellie. Charles didn't know what to say. Usually, he's good at starting conversations and making small talk but now, he's having trouble speaking. 

Ellie kept staring at Charles, noticing Charles was not talking to her which made her frown. She also was admiring how cute Charles looked when flustered. That's one of the things she loved about Charles, besides his commitment to slam his helicopters into buildings, costing the Government millions of dollars. However, it's neither here nor there.

Rupert and Henry quietly left Charles alone with Ellie. 

"Hey, Ellie," Charles started, making Ellie look at him.

"I was wondering..." Charles avoided meeting Ellie's eyes, he rubbed his head awkwardly, "Would you... would you..."

Charles wanted to ask Ellie out but he's having trouble. But... if he doesn't ask Ellie out, someone else will make a move on Ellie and he will miss his chance forever. Then Charles felt a burst of confidence and glanced at Ellie. Ellie saw Charles had a determined look on his face and she knew that face. She always saw that face when he was either in serious mode or when he was about to launch his helicopter into a building.

"Wouldyouliketogoout-Imeanhangoutwithme!" Charles exclaimed, talking rapidly. Ellie almost missed what Charles was saying since he was speaking quickly, she stared at Charles whose face was like a tomato and he was sweating like crazy. 

"Um...what?" Ellie asked in confusion.

Charles cleared his throat as he looked down, "Would you like to go out with me?"

Ellie blinked as her heart beat faster and her face became pink, her tough exterior replaced by a more vulnerable pose. "S-sure, Charlie," she replied, using Charles's nickname.

Charles wanted to melt by the way Ellie said his nickname, he grinned like a goof. "So... when do you want to do this?" he asked.

"How about tomorrow night?" Ellie suggested. 

"Sure," Charles smiled,

"Great! See you tomorrow!"

Ellie started to leave but stopped and looked at Charles, she walked up to him and quickly gave him a peck on the cheek. Charles blinked as he put a hand on his cheek, Ellie smiled as she left him alone. Charles stared after her retreating figure as he smiled, he chuckled as he held up a hand. 

"Looks like someone has a date," someone said.

Charles turned around to find Rupert and Henry looking at him with smug expressions, Charles spat at them as he started chasing after them. Unfortunately, they were fast runners and Charles couldn't catch up with them. Charles stopped to catch his breath while Henry taunted him, and Rupert smirked at him.

"You guys are so mean," Charles said, annoyed.

"But you love us," Henry said as Rupert wrapped an arm around Henry's waist, they both kept smirking.

Charles shook his head as he laughed, "I do,"

"I swear these two are menaces when they are together," Charles thought with a smile. 

Charles was panicking!

Tonight, he has his date with Ellie and he doesn't know what to wear! Charles looked into his closet and even though he has so many clothes, he couldn't find anything to wear. Rupert was sitting on Charles's bed, watching Charles overthink. He shook his head as he stood up and grabbed him by the shoulders.

"Oi! Charles, calm down," Rupert said gently, "It's just a date,"

"It's not just a date!" Charles argued, "It's a date with Ellie Rose!"

Rupert sighed as he let go of Charles and went into his closet, he went through Charles's clothes and found the perfect outfit. The outfit wasn't too fancy or too casual, it was just right. Rupert held up the casual clothes at Charles, Rupert looked between the clothes and Charles. He stopped as he shoved the clothes onto Charles, "Look, I know you're scared but relax," Rupert said gently, "Be yourself and everything will be fine,"

Charles held on to the clothes Rupert gave, "But... But what she doesn't like me or is just going on this date to pity me?"

"Don't think like that and I doubt Ellie doesn't like you,"

"How would you know?"

Rupert raised an eyebrow at him, he let out an annoyed sigh. 

"Man, he's dense as fuck," Rupert thought.

"By the way, where's Henry?" Charles asked Rupert. Rupert glanced at him and smiled, "Helping Ellie choose what to wear," he replied.

Charles looked at his phone and made a sound, "Oh no! I'm going to be late!" Charles quickly went to his bathroom to change and left his house in an instant.

"Are you sure I look good in this, Henry?" Ellie was wearing a short glittery red dress with thin straps and plain black high pumps. Her hair was tied up in a bun and she was wearing simple makeup. 

"Of course, El," Henry responded with a thumbs up, "Charles will love it,"

Ellie looked in the mirror and she smiled wide, Henry's right, but she was nervous. This is her first date in forever and she wants it to go right. Henry was finishing helping Ellie and he put on a necklace that her mother had given her before she died. 

"And done!" Henry said happily as he looked at her appearance, "You look beautiful!"   

Ellie's face was red as her hair, "Thank you, Hen,"

Henry chuckled as he led her out of her room, "C'mon, Charles is waiting and you don't want to keep waiting, do you?"

"Hahaha! Nope!" Ellie replied.

Charles and Ellie were at a table while everyone inside the bar was dancing. 

They didn't order drinks or food because they were too nervous. Charles took note of how beautiful Ellie looked and his heart was beating faster. He was playing with his black tie. He was wearing black slacks with a white dress shirt and brown shoes. He was also wearing his signature headset and had a black blazer jacket. He kept staring at Ellie while Ellie was staring at the decor of the bar.

Ellie turned to Charles who was still staring at her, Ellie felt her face flare as she looked down. Ellie glanced up and cleared her throat and Charles blinked at her. He shook his head as his face was pink with embarrassment. Great. He was caught. Now Ellie is going to think he's a total weirdo... well he's weird but he's the good odd. 

"You look handsome- I mean nice," Ellie said, she peddle back her last statement. Charles stared at her, hearing the word handsome before Ellie changed it. His face was red like a tomato and his face was warm. 

"Uh... you look beautiful," Charles said shyly.

"Oh... thank you," Ellie responded. 

The tension was awkward and they were feeling awkward.

After a few minutes of awkward silence, Charles started humming to the song that was playing and was tapping the table along with the beat. Ellie noticed it and she smiled. Charles saw the dancers on the dance floor and after watching them, he had an idea. He stood up and offer his hand to Ellie. Ellie stared at his hand and she took it. 

Charles took her hand and led her to the dance floor.

They started slow dancing even though the song that was playing was not slow. Charles's arms were around Ellie's waist while Ellie put her hands on Charles's shoulder. They slowly danced while enjoying the music. Then the bar started playing a different song, a more upbeat song, a song that you can dance the night away.

Charles pulled Ellie close to his chest and Ellie blushed as she stared up at him. He leaned down and whispered, "Let's bring it up our notch, shall we?" Ellie felt jitters running down her spine as Charles also told her to follow his lead.

They started dancing like you would see in an old 1920s movie or something.

Everyone else on the dance floor stopped dancing and stared at them in awe. Charles picked Ellie up and spun her around. She laughed while Charles felt he was on cloud nine, she looked so beautiful when laughing. 

After the song was done, they ceased their dancing and they bow to each other. They smiled at each other for a while, they went up to each other, and they hugged each other. Then they heard clapping, they turned to find everyone including the bartender clapping and cheering for them. They blushed as they said thanks to everyone.

Their stomachs started growling and they both laughed, looks like they want food now.

Charles walked Ellie back to her apartment, Ellie wanted to go to her apartment by herself but Charles didn't feel comfortable letting Ellie go home by herself. He knew Ellie was capable of taking care of herself, however, he just wants to make sure she gets home safe.

"Thanks for walking me home, Charlie," Ellie said as they got to her apartment, "I appreciate it,"

"You're welcome, El," Charles replied happily.

"Thanks for tonight,"

"You're welcome again,"

Ellie gave Charles a peck on the cheek before she unlocked her door, she was about to head inside when she glanced at Charles. 

"What's wrong?" Charles asked.

"Do you..." Ellie looked away from Charles, her face red like a cherry. Charles raised an eyebrow in confusion. "Do you want to come inside and continue dancing?" Ellie finished shyly. 

Charles blinked as he smiled, "Of course,"

He followed her into her apartment and they spent the rest of the night dancing away. 

A/N: I know I'm late but I was busy.

[montaguethelorekeeper]

The commander breathed very slowly out his nose.

It wasn’t so much the man or even the castle that was the problem. But the hill. See, it was a glass hill. A steep hill. And a very, very slippery hill.

“Fairy’s work sire. The hill cannot be scaled through any earthly means.” The commander said.

There was some story he half remembered about this hill. Something about a princess and three suitors and three horses and the whole thing got resolved somehow back then, but none of that was helpful now.

“Well what have you tried so far?” The king stormed back and forth along the base of the glass hill. A jeering laugh from the vagabond in the castle had the king frothing into an impotent tantrum.

The commander went over everything. Again.

Ropes? The vagabond would just loose any hooks. Big ladder? Knocks them over. Human ladder? Soldiers couldn’t keep formation. Breaking the glass proved impossible. Hammers, swords and fire had all failed anticlimactically.

At that point the Commander had opened the floor for anyone clever to try what they wanted. This resulted in one fellow gluing himself to the hill with tar, the half assed construction of a human slingshot, and far, far too much goofing off.

There was a brief, deranged hope at one point when a young lad, the bright eyed sort you’d imagine talking to fairies, suggested the glass hill could be scaled by wearing glass boots. However once you cut away the fat from “intrepid”, all you get is “inept”.

Someone suggested getting a wizard, but they’d all unionized.

Someone else suggested dragons, but they’d all unionized too.

“Damned unions.” The king cursed.

“We did speak with the local soothsayer, sire.”

“And?”

“Well the vagabond is apparently named Rupert.”

The kings inhaled dangerously slow.

“And he is a prince.”

The king exhaled dangerously fast.

“And to make him drop, we must find and break his tail.”

The king looked into the distance like he was trying set the woods ablaze by force of blinking.

“What?”

“We must find and break his tail.”

“Is it not fucking attached to him?”

“I tried to get a clearer answer sire, but the soothsayers are all independent contractors that set their own hours.”

The king threw up his arms, turning swiftly away. He stalked towards the picnicking soldiers and a kings decree was made thusly:

“Find and break the tail to make Prince Rupert Drop!”

“It is one man, by himself, in a castle on a hill. How does an ENTIRE ARMY fail to take it???”

[turtlethon]

"H.A.V.O.C. in the Streets!"

Season 8, Episode 5 First US Airdate: October 15, 1994

Titanus creates a new mutant who hijacks machinery to cause trouble for the Turtles.

Season eight of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles continues with "H.A.V.O.C. in the Streets!" This is the second part of a three-story arc revolving around the new villain Titanus and his pro-mutant organisation, who were introduced in the previous adventure, “Cry H.A.V.O.C.!”

HAVOC’s mutants are instructed to carry out a raid of an aerospace plant full of advanced equipment, but the Turtles have caught on to their plans and are on the scene too. A battle unfolds during which Michaelangelo becomes absorbed in examining a hi-tech projectile rather than helping his team-mates. After being called out for his daydreaming, Mikey flips a switch, sending the machine bouncing around the room. Raphael is eventually able to destroy it but during the chaos the assembled villains – Amok, Raptor and Seizure – are granted an opportunity to escape. The other Turtles scold Mikey for “goofing off”, blaming him for the trio getting away.

Titanus is similarly displeased that his men were hampered in their mission by the Turtles. Everything old is new again as he outlines his plan to the trio, which feels not too far removed from the countless times Krang instructed Shredder to steal some gizmo that would revive the Technodrome. Here, the intent is to allow HAVOC to take control of time and space via a Flux Transformer, a device which is held at a heavily-armed military site; evidently this once belonged to Titanus but was lost at some point. To retrieve it, he intends to construct something called the Sky Platform. (There’s a Rupert Murdoch joke in there somewhere, I’m sure of it.) Knowing that the Turtles will surely attempt to sabotage such a project, the enormous mutant begins plotting to exploit what he views as the team’s greatest weakness – their compassion towards humans.

The Turtles return to their Lair, continuing to get on Michaelangelo’s case, and after he splits off from the group talk amongst themselves about how spaced-out he’s been acting recently. Conversation then switches to the subject of what HAVOC were intending to do at an aerospace facility, and so Donatello heads to his computer to perform some research.

Remember the group of car thieves the Turtles stopped in “Get Shredder!”? I don’t know why you would as there was nothing particularly interesting about them, but in a remarkable bit of continuity – I don’t even recognise this show anymore – Titanus breaks the head mobster, a Stan Smith lookalike whose name is never mentioned, out of jail. Offering to help him get even with the Turtles, he transforms the crook into a hideous-looking mutant called Synapse, “a creature of pure energy”. Titanus tasks him with occupying the Turtles, ideally taking them out of commission for good, while he carries out his plan to build the Sky Platform.

Synapse travels through the city’s electrical grid and emerges from Donatello’s computer to confront him, declaring that “Titanus sends his regards!” before blowing up everything in the workshop. He goads Donnie, Leo and Raph, challenging them to stop him before escaping from the Lair once more. The team follow the mutant to a construction site, where he takes control of a crane, using its wrecking ball to try and take them down.

The Turtles use their weapons to destroy the crane, but Synapse escapes again, this time taking command of a truck which almost collides with the team. Meanwhile, Titanus instructs his mutants to feed instructions to the automated equipment at the aerospace plant so that construction of the Sky Platform can begin.

Synapse and the truck continue to cause chaos, at one point destroying a news-stand which leads to Michaelangelo becoming distracted by one of the periodicals left lying on the ground. He tries to catch up with the rest of the team as they leap on top of the runaway vehicle, but winds up being left behind. The truck soon crashes into a building which serves as the main switching station for a phone company: transferring his body into its cabinets, the mutant escapes via the phone lines, his destination unknown.

While continuing the construction of his platform, Titanus checks in with Synapse, and learns of the headaches he’s caused so far for the Turtles. The massive mutant encourages his new underling to head to Channel 6 next, knowing that causing upheaval there will irk our heroes further. At the same time Michaelangelo contacts the rest of the team via Turtlecom, and is chewed out yet again for his daydreaming. Despite Mikey’s insistence that he’ll be serious from now on, Donnie declares that for the moment the group is better off without him.

Leo, Mikey and Raph are alerted by April to the pandemonium being caused by Synapse at Channel 6. In a panning shot she’s seen alongside Burne, Vernon, Stan and an unnamed staffer, all cowering under or behind their desks. The villain tosses a copier through the air before moving on to a studio area, where we get a fleeting shot of Turtlethon favourite “Walter Kronk-like" being filmed by uh... Stan, who apparently possesses the ability to be in two places at the same time. (Notably throughout all this Irma is nowhere to be seen, which feels like a tell-tale sign the show is ready to move on without her.) Burne laments that, having only recently moved into new premises, the station’s offices are about to be destroyed for a second time.

The Turtles arrive on the scene to stop Synapse, wrecking an expensive mobile camera unit hijacked by the villain despite the protests of a furious Burne. Heading to the roof, Synapse takes control of a news copter, which takes flight with Leo, Donnie and Raph clinging to it. Meanwhile Michaelangelo heads back to the aerospace site to discover HAVOC at work on building the Sky Platform, and is soon captured by Seizure and Amok.

Synapse dumps the helicopter in what appears to be a sophisticated disposal facility, using its equipment to try and finish off the three Turtles. Leonardo is pinned down and faces the prospect of being chopped up by a saw blade, but manages to use his katana to slice the restraints holding him, freeing the others after escaping.

HAVOC’s mutants have completed construction of the Sky Platform – a giant purple airborne craft which looks like something Galvatron from Transformers might cruise around in – and fly off in it to storm the military site. Michaelangelo has been tied up and left behind, but soon breaks free of the ropes holding him, and sets about hatching a plan to stop the group.

Continuing to battle Synapse, the Turtles note that a bolt of energy from the villain reflected off Leonardo’s katana boomeranged back at the mutant. This provides the trio with a clue as to how to stop him. Using a small mirror, the team goad their opponent further, nudging him towards a hut containing ham radio equipment. Once Synapse is inside, Donatello sets the radio to transmit at a super-high frequency into outer space, dooming him to “ride the radio waves forever”. The group are then alerted via Turtlecom to the creation of the Sky Platform by Michaelangelo, but given his recent behaviour Donnie, Leo and Raph find such a revelation hard to believe. Their cynicism is allayed by Mikey turning up in a fighter jet with room for three additional passengers. Somehow this is enough for them to believe the team’s resident party dude has turned over a new leaf, and the reunited Turtles leave to stop HAVOC.

As an indicator of just how large the Sky Platform is – something that wasn’t effectively conveyed in the scene where it blew through the wall of the aerospace plant – the Turtles land the jet comfortably on top of the craft with plenty of room to spare, suggesting it’s about the size of an aircraft carrier. The team work their way inside, but Titanus and his mutants learn of their presence and are ready to do battle. A showdown between the two groups of mutants soon unfolds, with the Turtles goading their enemies into destroying the equipment in the engine room, an enraged Highbeam using his heat vision powers despite an earlier warning from his boss that doing so aboard the ship could prove disastrous. Soon the Sky Platform begins its descent, about to crash into the army base as HAVOC’s mutants leave in an escape pod. After narrowly avoiding a collision, Donatello navigates the ship towards some nearby rocky terrain where it’s destroyed in a huge explosion, the team diving out at the last second to land in a nearby river.

Back in the Lair, Michaelangelo apologises to the rest of the team for his earlier behaviour, insistent that from now on his “goofing-off days are over”. We’re conditioned by now for this to be the point where he reveals that he’s created some absurd new pizza topping, and everyone has a good laugh because he hasn’t really changed at all, THAT’S OUR MIKEY. But the show isn’t like that anymore, those days are over. Instead, the scene continues with Donatello pondering what Titanus was trying to accomplish by raiding the military base. Leonardo arrives, revealing he’s learned from April that the base contained a Flux Transformer, a revelation which shocks Donatello as such a device has never successfully been created. The episode ends with the Turtles considering the possibility that Titanus himself may in fact be from another time and place.

As hinted at earlier, David Wise is in comfortable territory here, with this story’s format marking a new spin on all those Shredder-Krang heist stories of years past. As is so often the case with his output there are a lot of moving parts at work, something that often draws criticism as it can lead to frantic adventures that offer everyone involved little time to breathe. There is, at least, some novelty in re-interpreting these themes through Titanus and his underlings, who remain fresh and interesting. They’re certainly far more engaging than Synapse, an afterthought of a bad guy who exists to yet again recycle the old “machines going crazy” bit that by now has been done to death (“The Mean Machines”, "Casey Jones - Outlaw Hero", “Welcome Back, Polarisoids”).

I alluded to Irma’s absence during the Channel 6 scenes, but incredibly this is the last proper appearance of Burne Thompson and Vernon Fenwick, both of whom have only increased in prominence throughout this season as bona-fide antagonists out to get the Turtles, which makes their sudden departure that much more baffling. Burne will get an off-screen line of dialogue in “Cyber-Turtles” but technically that was intended to air before the HAVOC arc commenced. It’s enough to make me wonder if there was some executive meddling at work here to have the Channel 6 regulars phased out of the show entirely: I wouldn’t at all be surprised if it turned out CBS commissioned some focus group that found kids disliked that aspect of the show, and so some suits, convinced that was the thing that was hindering the Turtles, demanded changes.

Michaelangelo’s arc here is entirely unconvincing: his failings and propensity to be easily distracted feel like honest mistakes which don’t warrant the relentless hectoring he gets from his team-mates. If you swapped him out with the Mikey from season three who couldn’t go thirty seconds without babbling about pizza then this would make more sense, but that just isn’t who he is now; while he can still produce the odd one-liner now and again it’s clear throughout that he cares about their mission. Leo, Donnie and Raph come across as unsympathetic and harsh, resentful that Michaelangelo hasn’t fully embraced their new “Turtles Get Tough” ethos to the same degree that they have. The poor guy’s out here doing his best, sheesh.

Despite these quibbles, thus far the Titanus/HAVOC arc has been solid, suggesting just how much mileage there could be in the newly-reinvented TMNT. Next time we’ll see if all of this leads to a satisfying pay-off, as the storyline concludes with “Enter: Krakus”.

[jackalopingintothevoid]

21 + giles/jenny if you’re still doing the prompt thing?

[The Sappy Prompt List!!!]

“I’m better when I’m with you”.

Janna smiled. “Of course you are. I raise the IQ of everyone in the room.” It was a good thing Ripper’s curls were tucked under her chin, or he’d have been able to see her silly schoolgirl smile.

“No, I mean–”

“I know what you mean,” she cut him off, giggling chuckling at his huffiness, “you’re such a square sometimes.”

For a moment, there was silence.

Then, Ripper mumbled in her collarbone, “You’re lucky I’m too comfy to kick off right now because that is unnecessary.”

Alright, Janna definitely giggled that time. But she was lucky.

Taking a deep breath, she kissed the top of Ripper’s head and whispered, “I’m better with you, too.”

[asteroshearts]

[Actor!AU] Relationship HCs

[Levi + Eren] 

Levi Ackerman: 

Even though he still has his RBF off-screen he’s a hell of a lot nicer than people think he is. 

Probably asked Eren if he was okay several times before and after the trial scene. 

They used one of your tweets that read, “I want Levi to break my back like a glowstick” during those “____ reads thirst tweets” videos and his face immediately became full-on red when he saw your @. 

I mean, he was blushing before, but when he saw that it was you he jokingly says, “I had no idea they posted this... Why are you like this. If you wanted me to break your back you could’ve just asked me to my face.” 

Great with puppies, kittens, children, and other infantile creatures. If he’s carrying a bouquet during an event or something and a kid comes up to him, he’ll give them a flower. 

“Levi Plays With Puppies While Answering Fan Questions” probably got over a million views in less than half an hour. 

NO ONE DOES BUSINESS CASUAL BETTER THAN HE DOES!! 

People probably take more pictures of you two at the front row seats of fashion shows more than the models themselves. 

Probably has the Rihanna Effect™ where he’ll wear something that looks bad on the OG model on the runway, but once he wears it, it’s suddenly fashionable. 

Speaking of Rihanna he’s probably in a random music video of hers like Mads Mikkelsen in “Bitch Better Have My Money.” 

HE’S STILL AN ACTS OF SERVICE MAN THROUGH AND THROUGH. 

On one hand he does expected “gentleman” things like opening doors for you, closing your car door after you, holding your bags, etc. 

On the other hand he goes to the extreme. 

If he’s not filming something or busy, he’s by your side doing all of the jobs your assistant is supposed to do. 

The directors and cameramen are looking around being like, “Where’s our Important Character Levi” when they need to shoot scenes, but if they find you they’ll just see him following you around, holding an umbrella over your head in one hand and holding your coffee in the other. 

When they first saw it everyone was like...couldn’t you find someone else...that’s not an extremely important cast member to do that... but it’s just Levi, he insists on doing it himself. Your assistant has the easiest job in the world because he elevates all of their jobs for them. 

CAREFULLY HOLDS THE TRAIN OF YOUR DRESS ON RED CARPETS 

When your hair gets tousled or locks fall over your face during filming or photoshoots, the cameramen will point it out, but before any of the hair or makeup people manage to get to you, Levi will just ;; walk over and fix it himself. The two of you probably have the softest smiles at that moment when he’s carefully brushing your hair out of your face. 

Isn’t in a lot of roles. He definitely gets offered a whole bunch of roles!! but especially when you two started dating, he told himself that he didn’t want you guys to crash and burn like many other celebrity couples since they normally spend a lot of time apart and are usually thousands of miles away from each other. When he’s not filming AOT, he tends to take a break from acting and go with you to your jobs. 

However, if he does find himself in a role that he wants to do, he’ll definitely appreciate it if you reciprocate, but doesn’t expect nor force you to. 

Instead he’ll leave your assistant with a long-ass list of how you like your coffee, what you like to eat after a long day of filming, how to approach you when you’re stressed, etc because this man has been doing your assistant’s job the entire time asdfghj 

The only time he’s gently smiling in paparazzi photos is when he’s with you, other than that he looks angry or bored. Like he’ll be at a beautiful beach party with Erwin and Hange but he’s just sitting in the shade with a drink in one hand looking inconvenienced. 

Eren Jaeger: 

OKAY 

There’s this one video of Dylan Sprouse putting his hand on his heart like it’s the national anthem or something when Barbra Palvin walks by on the runway AND THAT’S EXACTLY EREN 

When he sees you walk by either on a modeling gig or on the red carpet this man just stops ,,, and immediately stares and puts his hand on his heart like he’s seen Jesus. 

ALSO does anyone know that one video of the dude tripping over his words when he tries to talk to Jhene Aiko during an interview. 

When you and Eren first met he had to bring Armin as a translator because he was never able to get a straight sentence out in your presence. 

He was legitimately stunned stupid when he saw all of your red carpet looks or interview looks when you two were still new friends during S1 or something. 

follows Ere[Name] ship accounts on twitter and your stan accounts. 

Why do you even have a publicist. He’s your personal hypeman. Sometimes people get confused when they go to his official instagram bc it’s just pictures of you, him promoting your stuff, or really grainy, desaturated pictures of you two doing dumb things together like doing the JOJO Torture Dance together on an empty street at 3AM. These are interspersed with pictures of him when he has to promote something that’s like in his contract. 

When he posts pictures or stories that doesn’t have you in it, the comments are all, “Where’s [Name].” 

When little kids come up to him during panels or out on the street he’ll get jokingly concerned that they’re watching AOT. Like, “Y-You watch the series?? Do your parents know? Is it too scary for you?” 

Tries to make you laugh by pulling funny faces where the camera can’t see him. 

If you mess up on your line, he’ll immediately build on that and goof off with you, resulting in the two of you getting yelled at. 

Quality time is one of his love languages, so like Levi, your managers will work together to make sure your schedules work with each other. 

Sometimes when you have other roles outside of AOT, you might catch him as some regular extra in the background. 

It can’t be helped if sessions go on for too long sometimes, but if it becomes a reoccurring thing due to unorganized sets, he’ll fight with the director and crew to get a break since it’s important for everyone to get some rest. 

If your character is shipped with some character That’s Not Him, the directors know not to show his face during kiss scenes or romantic scenes because he’ll legitimately break character and pout or become so stone faced that he can’t emote at all. 

This Academy Award winning actor will just go 🧍 on the sidelines while you’re trying to kiss Jean for a scene but his stare is burning on the side of your head. 

Eren to Jimmy Fallon or something, “I guess Jean and [Name] are cute but it would be better if it was Ere[Name]. No, no I’m not complaining or anything...” 

GAVE HIS EVERYTHING TO ATTACK ON TITAN JUNIOR HIGH. 

Begged the writers to have more Ere[Name] content in Junior High.

If they let him direct an episode of AOT he will film it like Parks and Rec or The Office.  

[Eren: commits war crimes 

Camera: swerves and zooms in on your face grimacing and Levi’s dead expression while he stares right at the camera.] 

People probably know that they can’t interview him/force him to do lives after shooting because his voice is gone after all that shouting as Eren Jaeger. 

Has a Dan-Emma-Rupert relationship with Mikasa and Armin. He legitimately sees them as siblings even off-set. 

[lemonbeemon]

Ooooo, I've got a list!!!

1. The Child Star

- 110% Gabi, she's got a role in some walking dead/last of us movie as well and her established fandom defends her like there's no tomorrow on social media when the episode with Sasha comes out.

- Falco gets pretty popular from his role, but ducks out of the industry to start a small business like Rupert Grint from HP. His on screen crush was real for a while and he gets teased in every interview for the rest of his life.

2. The Already Famous

- Erwin Smith is the Chris Evans of this universe. He's gotten tons of roles in blockbusters and the announcement for his casting definitely brought a lot of attention to what was initially a kind of underground show. This is also a pretty different genre from his usual roles, so he has a ton of fun exploring his character and even adds new flavor to his script. He is Eruri's #1 supporter in the entire cast and retweets Levi/Eruri fanart even after he's killed off.

- Levi. Oh Levi. See, he got his career started in the Romance genre. Casting directors loved to make him the first guy/wrong choice type in their Hallmark-esque films, which made him somewhat underrated until he received this role. The directors & producers cast him for his naturally mean look, and everyone is more than a little surprised to see how popular his character got. Erwin and him have a ton, and I mean a TON, of deleted scenes and bloopers where they're goofing off, making outdated movie references in serious scenes, and fake making out when they're in the background of other shots.

3. Who Does Other Genres?

- We've already established that Levi did romance and rom-coms, but let's expand on the rest of the cast.

- Mikasa. Mikasa did your stereotypical action movies before her casting. Think big monster/shark/dino flicks. She started out playing the token daughter-figure, then she became the go to casting choice for a strong female lead in the same types of films. Her only other genre experience before the show was a once-off sapphic film where she and Hitch of all people were the main couple (think Happiest Season) and that role allowed her to get into touch with her current characters softer side. Her recommendation also got Hitch onto the show, who brought a cult following from her Indie films.

- Hitch. She's not got a ton of notable films on her resume, but she's a very popular choice for Indie films and almost always gets invited to speak at film festivals. Her and Annie are married in real life somewhere between seasons 3 and 4 and she shows her wife off big time of the red carpet every chance she gets.

- Boris. Bet you didn't think you'd see him on this list. He and Levi have actually done more than one romance film together as rival characters. His Twitter stans are unhinged and get very upset when his character is revealed to not have much screentime. Once he's past the peak of his fame he becomes a director himself and continues to work closely with Hitch.

4. The Super-Fan

- Eren. There's no way it's not Eren. The original manga/comic was his childhood favorite and he is always wearing merch to interviews and fan meet-ups. He's super involved with the fan base and gets very emotional when the show nears its end. Every other member of the cast is an icon to him and it takes him a long time to get the star-struck look out of his eyes when he interacts with them. His social media accounts are full of him being a nerdy fan and all the photos are selfies and awkward-handshakes with his co-workers. Grisha becomes both an on and off-screen father figure to him and they always hug/high-five after completing a scene together.

- Armin. While he's not a huge fan, he did his homework before the auditions began. He is the Peta Mellark of AOT. No one else could do the character the way he did and he's the most manga-accurate. His wealth often goes to make-a-wish-like foundations and other charity events. He also keeps his private life extremely close to his chest, and doesn't post often on what few social media accounts he has. When he does, its almost always with Eren/Mikasa/Jean/Erwin.

5. The Newbies

- Connie. He's done one big show before, something with race cars or zombies, but he's still brand new to the silver screen. After AOT, he gets steady employment but he's best known for buddy-cop style films next to his most iconic role.

- Sasha. She's pretty, witty, and charming. No one's mad when she's cast in a new role, and everyone jumps at the chance to interview her on red carpet walks. Her on-screen friendships hold up in real life, and she does lifestyle-centric content on the side as she marries and has a family a few years after the end of AOT. The fans go rabid when they realize she married her on-screen love interest, Niccolo, who stepped out of the public eye not long after the show's end. Like his character counterpart, he is an excellent cook and helps film Sasha's content.

5. The Other Headcanons

- Hange was actually an educational children's show figure before getting cast. Imagine if Bill Nye showed up in Game of Thrones, then multiply the fan reaction by 10. People are screaming when Hange is first shown in their début episode, as the entire cast and crew kept the public figure's casting a secret until the episode's airing. They continue to do their usual work on top of their work on the show, and are a big advocate for how the show should handle mental illness and the rumors of lgbtq+ ships becoming canon.

- Bertholdt. The original Gabi for the fans. He's actually a model outside of his acting career and is almost always mentioned when the cast plays fuck/marry/kill in interviews. Eren was ridiculously nervous around both Bertholdt and Reiner when the show first started filming, but now two of his favorite shots to film involved his particularly tall co-star.

- Reiner. Like Hange, his casting was a total whiplash for the audience. As Reiner was formerly an NFL player. His jump into acting is very similar to Chris Pratt/Chris Hemsworth and, yes, he does end up voicing Mario in this universe. Gabi is like an actual sister to him, and he often talks about how well she gets along with his irl younger siblings in interviews. They go on to do another film together, something with vikings or more fantasy where they're once again playing blood-related characters. The thirst traps for this man are insane, but he's always humble when the interviewer or his co-stars bring them up. Eren has an extreme bromance with Reiner, to the point that their co-stars and the film crew don't even question their half-a-joke flirting on set.

- Jean is another Hemsworth type, and he's starred in too many horse-girl movies to count since AOT helped him break into the industry. Like Eren, he was a fan of the source material as a kid and skipped class to do the audition. Something he admits in an interview got him grounded for four months before his parents saw his first paycheck. Originally, he auditioned for the main character but recieved his current role instead.

I can't think of any more rn, but I'll add on to this if I do!

What's everyone's thoughts on what previous roles the AOT cast would've had in the actor AU? Who was a child star? Who's been in a ton of movies and was already quite famous? Who's breaking out of their usual genre? Was someone previously a horror actor? Romance? Action? An absolute nerd for the manga who just HAD to have a part? Who's brand new to the scene?

I need headcannons

[tabloidtoc]

Us, May 3

You can buy a brand new copy of this issue without the mailing label for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Pregnant Meghan Markle: My Baby, My Way

Page 2: Red Carpet -- rufflemania -- Hollywood style stars are tier-ing it up in this flattering design with feminine flair -- Tracee Ellis Ross, Kaitlyn Dever, Margot Robbie, Logan Browning, Nicola Coughlan

Page 3: Lizzo, Maude Apatow, Lucy Boynton, Jessica Alba, Lily Collins

Page 4: Who Wore It Best? Anya Taylor-Joy vs. Isla Fisher vs. Regina King in Stuart Weitzman Nudist sandal

Page 6: Loose Talk -- Shonda Rhimes on the intense backlash she received over Rege-Jean Page's exit from Bridgerton, Kelly Ripa on her most embarrassing interview, Luke Bryan on his mother LeClaire's Instagram fame, Blake Shelton on The Voice's new coach Ariana Grande, Reese Witherspoon joking about wearing bottoms that aren't sweatpants

Page 8: Contents

Page 10: A Final Farewell to Prince Philip, his four children Prince Charles and Princess Anne and Prince Andrew and Prince Edward were among the loved ones who participated in the emotional ceremony, feuding brothers Prince Harry and Prince William (and his wife Duchess Kate) put their differences aside after the intimate service, due to Covid-19 protocols the grieving Queen Elizabeth stayed socially distant from the other 29 people who attended the funeral for her husband of 73 years

Page 11: ACM Awards 2021 -- Maren Morris teamed up with her husband Ryan Hurd and won Female Artist of the Year, Thomas Rhett won Male Artist of the Year, Carrie Underwood took the stage

Page 12: Hot Pics -- Rosie Huntington-Whiteley wore an orange coat during a visit to NYC, John Stamos plays a coach on the TV show Big Shot, Zach Braff goofed around on the set of Cheaper by the Dozen in L.A.

Page 13: Eva Longoria on her trampoline while aboard a yacht in Miami, Howie Mandel arrived to the set of America's Got Talent dressed as a bug in Pasadena

Page 14: Jon Hamm and his rescue dog Splash strolled around the neighborhood in L.A., Heidi Klum in all white in Pasadena, Sara Gilbert and Linda Perry take a stroll in L.A.

Page 15: Eddie Cibrian and LeAnn Rimes held hands after dinner at Il Segreto in L.A., Patrick Dempsey shot a scene for his show Devils in Rome

Page 16: Rachel Brosnahan in a blue dress and carrying a clear umbrella on the set of The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel in NYC, Lin-Manuel Miranda at the opening of a vaccination center for Broadway workers in Times Square, Trisha Yearwood feeds one of her rescue pups

Page 18: Gen Z Has Spoken -- these celebs are making the young kids proud -- Baggy Jeans -- Hailey Bieber, Tracee Ellis Ross, Bella Hadid

Page 19: Middle Parts -- Busy Philipps, Lizzo, Jennifer Lopez, Kourtney Kardashian, baguette bags -- Dua Lipa, Elsa Hosk, Irina Shayk, Kendall Jenner

Page 20: Seeing Double -- stars bear a striking resemblance to their famous counterparts -- Elizabeth Banks and Chelsea Handler, Emmanuelle Chriqui and Nina Dobrev, Betty Gilpin and Jodie Comer

Page 21: Rob Lowe and Ian Somerhalder, Jaime Pressly and Margot Robbie, Isla Fisher and Amy Adams, Rupert Grint and Ed Sheeran, Kyle Richards and Kacey Musgraves

Page 22: Clueless Crew -- stars are totally buggin' over Cher Horowitz's style in yellow plaid -- Robin Roberts on Good Morning America, Katie Holmes was rollin' with her homie beau Emilio Vitolo Jr. in NYC, Vanessa Hudgens, Dianna Agron

Page 23: Gabrielle Union

Page 24: Stars They're Not Like Us -- Jay Leno took one of his vintage automobiles out for a spin in L.A., Chrissy Teigen and John Legend took a selfie with a fan while grocery shopping in Beverly Hills, Kylie Jenner has custom vending machines

Page 25: Carrie Underwood in her massive walk-in closet, Denzel Washington signs autographs for fans in NYC, Megan Thee Stallion on a private plane, Drake and his bodyguard in Beverly Hills

Page 26: Stars They're Just Like Us -- Sarah Jessica Parker catches a yellow cab after working at her shoe store in NYC, Brad Paisley picked up five pizzas to go in Montecito

Page 27: Kelly Osbourne handed out goods at a drive-thru food distribution event at the Islamic Center of Southern California, HGTV's Egypt Sherrod transformed her closet into a meditation space in Atlanta, in between filming Law & Order: SVU's Mariska Hargitay and Ice-T take a selfie

Page 28: Hollywood Dads -- Scott Porter on parenting his two kids McCoy and Clover

Page 29: Jonathan Tucker on life with twins Hayes and India, parenthood is a lot tougher than Jovi Dufren imagined, Maksim Chmerkovskiy can't wait to show son Shai his work

Page 30: Love Lives -- Rihanna and A$AP Rocky are showing no signs of slowing down -- the pair enjoyed a night out in L.A. hotspot Delilah where they were holding hands and laughing and they're not hiding the fact that they're dating but they just don't want people in their business -- they're a good match and are each other's best friend

Page 31: Justin Bieber and Hailey Bieber may look like the picture-perfect couple, but Justin admits that their first year of marriage wasn't what he expected, saying it was really tough and there was just a lack of trust and he blamed the strain on his own personal struggles and said before he didn't have someone to love or someone to pour into but now, more than two years after exchanging vows with Hailey, he has that

* Kacey Musgraves' romance with Dr. Gerald Onuoha is giving her butterflies -- the pair are so happy they found each other and while Kacey, who split from her husband Ruston Kelly last summer, is trying not to get too ahead of herself, her connection to the Nashville-based doc is off the charts and it's got the potential to go a very long way

* Today's Savannah Guthrie is thankful to have husband Michael Feldman in her life, especially given the demands of her early morning work schedule

Page 32: Kourtney Kardashian and Travis Barker are getting serious -- all the details on their whirlwind romance

Page 33: Adapting to parenthood has been a breeze for Emma Stone and she's soaking in all the precious moments of being a mom for the first time -- she and husband Dave McCary welcomed their baby daughter in March and Emma is super protective and a very hands-on mom and Dave is also hands-on and helps with their daughter -- thanks to the little one, Emma's marriage with the comedian has also gotten stronger and having a baby has brought them closer in a way they never expected -- Emma is looking forward to getting back to work; she's taken this time off to embrace motherhood and her number one priority is to raise a healthy baby so that's what she's focused on right now

* Britney Spears is setting the record straight -- despite her ongoing conservatorship battle with her dad, Jamie Spears, she is doing totally fine, assuring fans that she's extremely happy and she has a beautiful home, beautiful children and she's taking a break right now because she's enjoying herself -- although the legal drama with her father is heating up, Britney is staying strong and she has this wonderful ability to see the positive even when the odds are against her

* Keeping Up With Us -- production for the Downton Abbey sequel is underway, Mossimo Giannulli is a free man, Chrissy Teigen returned to Twitter 23 days after announcing that she was leaving the platform, Vanessa Bryant remembered her late husband Kobe Bryant on what would have been their 20th wedding anniversary, Helen McCrory lost her battle with cancer at age 52 according to her husband Damian Lewis

Page 34: A Day in My Life -- Whitney Port

Page 35: Colton Underwood is ready to live his truth -- during an interview on Good Morning America, the former Bachelor came out as gay, saying he's run from himself for a long time and he came to terms with his sexuality earlier this year and he's the happiest and healthiest he's ever been -- now that he feels like he can finally breathe, Colton is excited for his next chapter, which fans will get to see on an upcoming reality show with Olympian Gus Kenworthy -- a huge weight has been lifted off of Colton's shoulders and he is looking forward to being his authentic self

Page 36: Moms Tell All -- Happy Mother's Day! From milestones and manners to rules and nanny-bans, celebs and insiders talk about raising kids in Hollywood

Page 37: Bindi Irwin says life at home with her daughter Grace Warrior has been positively blissful and her family with dad Chandler Powell is so full of love, adding that the newborn has already met some of the wildlife at the Australia Zoo where Bindi and Chandler live and work and of course she's seen some crocs and really lit up when she saw them -- while the Aussie conservationist is sad Grace won't get to meet her late dad Steve Irwin, Bindi's brother Robert Irwin and mom Terri Irwin have been by her side constantly and Robert is obsessed with Grace and has been helping out so much and her mom has been the biggest guiding light and she's already taught Bindi so much about being a mother, both in how she raised her and by showing her things day by day and Terri is quite the baby whisperer and she's so great a calming Grace down when she's crying -- first-time father Chandler is also a natural with Grace and he's been the most supportive and involved dad and together, he and Bindi make such a great team -- for now, Bindi, who stars with Chandler in Crikey! It's a Baby!, is hoping Grace will follow in her animal-activist footsteps, saying having three generations of strong women working as conservationists is a dream come true

* Jennifer Garner said teaching your kids is a lifelong job, and certainly values are something you have to show them -- Jennifer, who shares kids Violet, Seraphina and Samuel with ex Ben Affleck, is staying true to her word and has led by example when it comes to things like kindness and patience and she won't let anyone in the house to judge or speak ill of people, and she enforces the same wholesome, traditional values that she was raised with and the kids have been taught to be loving, hardworking and fair -- Jennifer has always taken a kids-come-first approach to parenting, and it shows as they bake together, enjoy movie nights, read books and have very active lives and it's a very healthy, happy household filled with laughter and love

Page 38: Gwen Stefani has her hands full with her sons Kingston, Zuma and Apollo with ex-husband Gavin Rossdale, but she wouldn't want it any other way -- Gwen's a tomboy, so having three boys wasn't daunting for her at all, plus she has fiance Blake Shelton by her side to pitch in with parenting duties and Gwen and the boys have a blast at Blake's ranch in Oklahoma where they enjoy riding their ATVs, and they play baseball and football -- it's not all fun and games, though because Gwen is big on boundaries and manners and she doesn't want to raise Hollywood brats and it's important to her that her sons be gentlemen

* Meghan Markle's pregnancy with Archie was no walk in the park, as she revealed during her bombshell TV interview with husband Prince Harry, the couple had concerns over whether or not the royal family would provide security for their son and claimed there were conversations about his skin color -- but this time around, as Meghan and Harry gear up for baby No. 2 at home in L.A., she's doing everything her way, without the royals and Meghan and Harry feel blessed that they're able to raise their daughter in the U.S. and can live by their own rules and make the decisions they feel are best for their children; having independence is the most important thing for Meghan and she's got free rein to be exactly the kind of mom she wants to be -- her parenting style is really like most mothers out there, and she's been craving pasta and doing yoga two times a day as her due date nears and she keeps a lot of art supplies out to foster creativity and healthy snacks around and she's a devoted mom and wants the best for her kids

Page 39: Kate Hudson has a lot on her plate, so the mom of three, who shares son Ryder with former husband Chris Robinson and son Bingham with ex Matt Bellamy and daughter Rani with boyfriend Danny Fujikawa, knows when to put her foot down as things can get a little overwhelming at times for Kate, but when she says no, it absolutely means no, and the kids respect her very much because of that

* Gigi Hadid, who shares daughter Khai with boyfriend Zayn Malik, wants to spend every waking moment with her precious little girl -- Gigi could easily afford to employ a team of nannies but chooses not to and she prefers to do everything herself and besides, she can't bear to be away from Khai for more than a few hours

* Candace Cameron Bure's three grown kids are flying the coop, but she's still super involved in their lives, despite slowly becoming an empty nester -- the mom of Natasha, Lev, and Maksim with former hockey player Valeri Bure says it's been a very transitional time and she's been trying to help them make decisions they feel good about and it's challenging, but they're figuring it out

Page 40: Oh, Baby! Meghan Markle's due date is just around the corner, and here are all the details

* Bump Brigade -- Halsey, Gal Gadot, Shawn Johnson East

Page 42: 10 Years of the Cambridges -- a look back at Prince William and Duchess Kate Middleton's solid marriage for their anniversary

Page 44: Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez: What Really Happened -- cheating and lies? The truth behind J.Lo's split from fiance A-Rod

Page 45: Friendliest Exes -- these former couples managed to stay close after going their separate ways -- Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin, Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux, Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr, Demi Moore and Bruce Willis, Lisa Bonet and Lenny Kravitz

Page 48: Gifts for Mother's Day

Page 54: Entertainment -- Ben Barnes on Shadow and Bone

Page 58: Fashion Police -- the most daring Oscars looks -- Bjork, Whoopi Goldberg, Charlize Theron

Page 59: Rachel Weisz, Gwyneth Paltrow, Lady Gaga

Page 60: 25 Things You Don't Know About Me -- Julia Michaels

[jennycalendar]

my top ten calendiles fics (that i wrote)

this rec list took me a solid chunk of time to compile, because my fics are my babies and i honestly wanna throw quite a few of them up here. but EVENTUALLY i stopped being indecisive and finally managed to get this sorted, so here goes! if you wanna read some of my stuff, this is the stuff that i am the most proud of/in love with/would cry if someone asked me leading questions about it + drew me fanart of it. these are not ranked except for the top two, because the first one is my baby and the second one is still very beloved to me.

under the cut, because i have loving commentary!

1. as day follows night (multi-chapter)

Looking for a safe place to stay after her accidental murder of the Deputy Mayor, Faith Lehane allies herself with a mysteriously powerful witch—and stumbles into a fairytale mystery that's bigger than anything she could have anticipated.

(this fic is my goddamn baby. this fic is my C H I L D. this fic is the fic that i took extensive notes for and spent most of my freshman year of college thinking about and ended up as this terrifying love letter to fairy tales and jenny calendar and the complexity of the way she chooses to love people. i love this fic with every fiber of my being and always will.)

2. i still want to be your girl (multi-chapter)

Five years ago, Jenny Calendar ran from Sunnydale and didn't come back. Now, with the First threatening Sunnydale and the Slayer line, she's returned to help stop the apocalypse--but Rupert Giles isn't the man she remembers, and he isn't exactly delighted to have her back in his life again.

(i have a very persistent soft spot for later-seasons giles, but this was one of the few fics where i went “okay but what about battle-hardened jenny” and i’m very proud of the result. it was really fun to think about what might have changed about jenny over the course of five years, and now that i’m thinking about it, i might be really interested in writing a giles pov of this fic at some point? that’s totally a concept to come back to at some point. anyway.)

3. kind of like hydrogen peroxide

Here was the problem: Ripper had no idea how to talk to Jenny without somehow managing to make her want to kill him.

(i do NOT deserve rights if a fic from the ripper au doesn’t make its way onto this list, and this one is my very favorite. i love thinking about dumb teenage giles who pretends to be a rebel but is actually very very soft and very very in love with his equally dumb and genuinely rebellious girlfriend.)

4. spirit-touched

“Thank you, Buffy,” Giles said, “but I would prefer to conduct this research on my own. I’ll be looking into some rather…” He felt himself blushing, and resented it. “Some rather intimate details of ghost-human relations.”

“What does that—oh god, you want to figure out how to have sex with Ms. Calendar,” said Buffy.

(making this the first smutfic i posted was still the most cursed power move i have ever pulled off. anyway that influx of asks in 2016 about ghost jenny and human giles and their sex life inspired this and it ended up being SO funny and SO sweet and i am SO proud of it.)

5. very really married

Giles and Jenny's flights to Sunnydale both stop over in Las Vegas. On the same day. Naturally, a chance encounter leads to a drunken marriage, one that they mutually agree to keep up for appearances.

Which is to say: Giles is going to have to figure out how to hide his fake marriage from his new Slayer (and everyone else) while also hiding his new Slayer from his fake wife (and everyone else). And his complex feelings for Jenny aren't helping anything.

(EVEN NOW, THIS FIC MAKES ME GIGGLE TO THINK ABOUT. i am saving my reread of this particular gem for a rainy day, because it was my love letter to season one and my daydreamy fantasy re: what it would look like if giles and jenny had silly odd-couple energy that really just came from them being fake married and badly hiding it as they fall very deeply in love.)

6. days in goodness spent

This feeling—whatever Giles is feeling—this is bone-deep. He’s never felt it before. He’s been in love before, he’s admired someone before, he’s respected someone before, but this feels like all of those three things held together by something else he can’t quite name. He searches, desperately, for the words that will tell Jenny this, but nothing that has been written can describe the way it feels to be held by her right now.

(In which Rupert Giles gets the chance to fall in love all the way, and it changes him just a little.)

(this one didn’t immediately come to mind when i was drawing up the list, but my brief rereads led me to conclude that it is an underappreciated gem! i’ve written a lot of different takes on giles and jenny’s relationship, but i particularly love calling giles out for idealizing jenny. also i like that this is more abstract than some of my other older pieces, where i really get into the nuts and bolts of wanting to depict Every Single Part of giles and jenny’s relationship trajectory. this one has more fun with the flow of the story.)

7. no one else could heal my pain

“Friday,” Giles echoed.

“Yeah. As an overnight weekend trip to hunt down some books I need.” Ms. Calendar smiled playfully at him. “Isn’t that the kind of thing you’d do for fun anyway?”

(this one was SO recent and SO fun! it’s kind of my love letter to the standalone longfics i consumed voraciously when i was fourteen, because there are some really great older calendiles fics that are just long and winding adventure-y narratives about the two of them goofing off and falling in love. i wanted to echo that here a little bit and it was a delight to write.)

8. myosotis latifolia

Years and years ago, the truth would spill out, and Rupert—in his endless romanticism—would take her hands and tell her she only needed him by her side to feel welcome and loved. But it’s been over a decade since they’ve been that close, and those years have created a distance between them just as insurmountable as the distance between them, now, on the steps leading into his lavish gardens.

(Rupert Giles is an esteemed member of the Watchers' Council, as well as a happily married father. Jenny Calendar knows that that's never been what he wanted.)

(ahaha this one is a big ouch moment but i really love it regardless? i think that giles and jenny are kinda fundamentally incompatible in a lot of ways, and part of the intrigue of their relationship is watching them try and figure out how to compromise and adjust after years of being rigid and inflexible individuals -- giles intellectually, jenny emotionally. so this fic is a lot about that.)

9. the grieving process

After Buffy's death, Giles makes his way to Jenny in LA.

(i don’t know why this one still sticks with me! it just! does! it holds up and i love it and if you wanna read about giles and jenny falling in love in a way that is healthy and authentic without any secrets -- but also obviously very sad -- definitely pick this one up.)

10. decently clothed

“Jenny, are you selecting my wardrobe based solely on what is and isn’t easy to divest me of?”

“…no,” said Jenny.

“That’s not even remotely convincing.”

(i wrote this one during a particularly difficult time in my life, and it was a really special moment for me, because i’d just come out of a period where it had been difficult for me to find the time or emotional energy to write. whenever i return to it, this fic is suffused in that warm and hopeful joy i felt when i posted it and realized that i had not, in fact, lost my touch. so it’s always gonna mean the world to me.

plus it is very silly and sweet! my specialties.)

[faecaptainofdreams]

Decided to re-invigorate myself a bit by indulging in a cute crossover...because Tom Holland <3 This goes way off course from Marvel/the MCU, because...again, this is for me and i like simple and colorful. Whatever, ENJOY. Here's his OG head canon, everything follows almost the same but you may need it for context: www.deviantart.com/foxdragonlo… ---------------------------------------------------------------------- In this universe, superhero-type people aren't overly uncommon, though rarely they actually get the opportunity to use their powers in a work-related sense. It's almost always an accident, and those who intentionally mutate themselves for one reason or another often face a prison sentence due to the dangers to themselves, others, and their disregard for consequence. And yes, there have been many cases where mutations both intentional and accidental have been fatal or severely damaging mentally and/or physically. At the H.T.U.V., there is a special sector of labs dedicated to studying dangerous materials, as well as creatures that accidentally are harmed or mutated by certain substances. With the environment being more heavily prioritized in the world of SiD, the government is very careful to regulate chemicals and try to keep toxins at a minimum. But even in a government agency, there are bound to be people with conflicting morals and human-based error in thinking. ~~Mutation~~ Everything in Walter's life carries out as normal until the Summer when he's 18. With him having barely been working at the agency for a year, but getting pushed more and more aside, the lead scientist in the toxins lab, named Theo Rupert, became curious about Walter. He figured if Walter was so useless in the gadget lab, maybe he had untapped potential for something else, and thus privately invited him to miss a day of work in order to visit the toxins lab. They told him they wondered if he would be interested in this field. Due to his love of animals, his biomechanical genius and natural gifts as a whole, he actually began to consider the idea of working to help save these animals and find healthy ways to eliminate dangerous substances. This conflicted with his current dream job, however, as he ultimately wanted to help people and potentially influence the way the agency did things. During his tour of the labs, Walter felt a small but sharp sting on his neck, but found nothing there. He assumed it was just him being sensitive, or a casual bug bite and moved on. Later that night, the bite became painful, swollen, and grey, disturbingly. Fearing necrosis of his skin and wondering if he really was bitten by something dangerous in the toxins lab, Walter called the lead scientist and told him what he was experiencing. Theo instructed Walter to apply a cold compress to it, and then accept a referral at work the next day to go back to the toxins lab and see him. He also instructed Walter not to tell anyone about the bite until further notice. Walter obeyed, but had a bad feeling. ~~Illegality~~ The next day, Walter did not show up at work. Rather, he had fallen ill -- so much so that he actually called in. Seeing as how he wasn't showing up, a nervous Theo called Walter and asked why he hadn't shown up. Walter answered drearily with "I can't move." Theo and his team of four packed up a suitcase of medical equipment and lied that they had been called out to inspect potentially hazardous material elsewhere in the city. They left in two of their own cars, and switched their cars out before heading to Walter's house so as not to be recognized. When they got there, Walter had made it to the couch, still in his pajamas, and with young Lovey out and about. He had managed to feed her, and that was it. He couldn't even answer the door, so the team (dressed in civilian clothing and acting as though they were friends of his over for a visit) gently picked the lock on the door and let themselves in. What they found was alarming. Walter was deathly pale, running a fever and showing flu-like symptoms, minus sinus issues. His body ached and felt tingly all over, and he was nauseated. The bite on his neck was still a grey whelp, and now was developing markings around it. Another new development was two lumps on the undersides of his wrists had appeared, also swollen, sore and grey, just like the bite on his neck. Theo and his team drew blood from Walter and quickly ran it through one of the small machines they brought (super scientific world, shit gets done faster). After a few minutes, the test results revealed that there was indeed, a toxic substance in his system, but it was mixed with the venom of a jumping spider. As it is, jumping spiders are relatively docile and their bites are almost never problematic, let alone potentially fatal, but the team was scared stiff. They revealed to Walter right then and there that he was bitten by one of their animal subjects -- an aggressive, mutated jumping spider, that had gotten loose in the lab the day Walter visited. They explained that they didn't even know it had gotten out until a little while after Walter had gone home when they found it wandering about, caught it and put it back in its enclosure. Walter asked what was going to happen to him, and they reluctantly said they weren't sure. Theo and the other scientists huddled in the kitchen and quietly debated what their next move was. They had to either come clean to the agency and its directors about what they had done and how they messed up, possibly facing federal jail time for carelessness/endangering someone, or try to brush it under the rug. Panicked, they decided to try and hide their mistake. They came back to Walter and told him he was going to be fine (which was a lie, as they really didn't know), and that news of this needed to stay under wraps. Theo told him that higher-ups would know about it, but would deny they did if asked about it, as goofs like this were critical to be kept secret in order to conceal it from potentially getting out to the public. They even typed up a fake document for Walter to sign, swearing him to secrecy. He was told to never speak to anyone of what happened, both in and outside of work. Given he had no friends and no remaining family, Walter nervously agreed, still wondering if he would die. As Theo spent time cleaning up his mess, he and the team stayed to monitor Walter's condition. Over the course of the next two hours, Walter managed to break his fever, but his temperature suddenly dropped drastically, as did his heart rate and blood pressure. If he died, the team knew they were in deep, deep trouble. They used what little they had to try and keep him somewhat stable and monitor his vitals. Miraculously, an hour following, the symptoms began to lesson. Blood pressure, heart rate and temperature came closer to being steady again. By 2 in the afternoon, Walter had overcome most of his symptoms. He was a little dizzy, his body still felt tingly and the whelps were still swollen and sore, but it seemed he would be all right. They encouraged him to drink some water and eat a couple crackers to test his stomach, and that turned out to be fine as well. The ordeal left him exhausted and under the weather, but he figured he might be able to return to work the next day. Like the night before, Theo told him to take a referral to the toxins lab when he clocked in and check in with them. They left, but stayed in close touch with Walter up until work time. ~~Suppression~~ With the bite and wrist whelps still inflamed and grey, Walter wore his jacket to conceal them. When he arrived in the toxins lab, he was still ragged out, but completely stable. He complained of soreness in the whelps, and explained that there was a more persistent, widespread ache in his wrists extending into his arms. His palms and the bottoms of his feet also felt very tingly still. Theo checked the sites out, and it was revealed that Walter now had much more significant markings that were a mixture of grey and iridescent pink. Going off of evidence from other people who'd experienced mutations around the world, Theo concluded that certain parts of Walter's body were developing spider-like qualities, of which he wasn't sure yet. He explained that Walter very nearly met death the previous day due almost exclusively to the dangerous toxin that had been injected into him, but the spider's venom had neutralized a certain compound in it just enough to keep him alive when it counted. This, he explained, was how the spider itself had survived the toxin. He allowed Walter to see the spider. Given his symptoms were not getting much worse, aside from some persistent tingling and aching, Theo told him they would be in regular contact. Until this settled down, he was to visit the toxins lab multiple times a week. For once, Walter being neglected in the gadgets lab -- and by the agency as a whole -- served a purpose, as all the referrals to the TL were not questioned. And despite months of visitation to the TL, Walter still didn't make any friends. There was a slight fondness that Theo had for him, but he remained professional and determined not to get attached. A couple weeks after the bite, the whelps finally laid flat, and the bite wound was all gone. Intricate markings were all that was left, and one tiny little bump on the underside of each wrist. Whenever Walter would go down to the labs, Theo and his private team ran small medical tests. They sampled blood, very modest traces of tissue, and took his vitals. The medical records and each find was documented quietly and hidden in a remote file. Still, Walter believed it wasn't a true secret, and became gradually more comfortable. Eventually, they all realized that Walter's hands and feet gained him the ability to cling to most surfaces when he desired, and the whelps on his wrists were actually spinnerets. He produced webs from his wrists, could jump several times the length of his own body, and was sensitive to vibrations, certain touch, and somehow was able to predict danger coming towards him just before it could actually reach him. Thankfully, as x-rays and sonograms showed, he didn't develop any new or strange organs, didn't lay eggs, didn't have an appetite for insects and best of all, did not need to molt. Studies on him went on for months before it seemed every secret had been uncovered. But because of the nature of it all, Theo told Walter he needed to suppress his abilities. No shooting webs, no jumping super far, no wall climbing. He was saddened by this, but again, he obeyed. For the next two years, Walter Beckett stifled everything as he had grown used to doing as it was, and went on with life. When someone asked him about the markings, he said they were tattoos, and that their meaning was "personal." A final consequence of this was Walter was no longer allowed to potentially work in the toxins lab. ~~The Movie~~ Everything played out as usual in the film, but with Walter having markings and simply not even thinking to use his abilities even in dangerous situations. ~~Post-Movie~~ Everything went along as normal (see the HC sheet). While Walter was living with Lance, the closer he got to him, the more he wanted to tell his secret, but he kept quiet. Knowing he was about to be a real agent and the man's partner, though, he figured it would have to come up at some point. Walter got his chance to talk when Lance drove him to the H.T.U.V. on one of their days off to meet with Marcy and Joy to address his issues with compromise and direction. Everything there went as normal, but when it was over, Walter asked to stay back and talk to Joy alone for a bit. Lance and Marcy waited outside, not too far away, and Walter approached Joy. A conversation like this ensued: ------- "Walter: Sooo, now that I'm gonna be an agent, I guess it might be okay to finally bring up the ah... "spider thing"? Joy: ...The what. Walter: You know...! (He shows her his wrists.) Walter: These? Joy: *looks at the marks* ... *looks at him and raises a brow* If...yer askin' if it's all right to have tattoos, the answer is yes... Walter: Hah, wow, when they said you'd deny it, they really meant it! Joy: *more annoyed* Who said I would deny what??" ------- By this point, Walter suddenly understood that she really was oblivious. He hoped she was the only director or higher-up that was in the dark about it. Distressed at having broken the strict rule he was given and almost panicking, Walter had to be re-focused by Joy and calmed enough to nervously explain to her vaguely what happened to him two years prior, and why he never spoke of it. Furious, Joy brought Lance and Marcy back in and briefly explained that she'd just learned about Walter's mutation, and thus he had to explain it a little, too. Naturally, they were shocked and confused, but Joy apologized to Marcy while requesting that she gear up and help her potentially make some arrests. Lance was allowed to come too, just in case he might be needed. ~~Caught~~ Joy and Marcy's team stormed into the toxins lab and confronted Theo and gathered his team. Walter was confused and scared out of his mind. When Joy interrogated them, it didn't take long for them to break and confess everything right then and there. They even gave up the secret files documenting the event and all the recordings since, including Walter's visitations and the dates. The files were seized, and Marcy's team arrested Theo and his close co-workers. Walter felt terrible about the whole thing, but once again, he had managed to evade prison simply due to his innocence and naivete. At the very least, no longer having to hide everything was a monumental, if not somewhat thrilling relief. He was asked to come back later in the week after work one day and recount everything he knew, and the entire encounter to Joy and a few of her subordinates. Theo and his team faced 20 years in federal prison, but a plea deal was set to lesson it to 10. They eventually settled for 15. By this point, the spider that bit Walter had long since died. ~~"Special" Agent~~ When Walter trained for his more serious partnership with Lance, he was encouraged now to use his abilities and figure them out. There was a lot of falling, swinging too far, miscalculated/premature web fires, and over-estimated jumps, but as Walter gained more confidence, it showed in his training. Practice and patience made him keen, and now he had one more thing to tack on to his list of oddities. With help from suit designer experts from the gadgets lab, a team helped Walter put together a breathable, slim-fitting suit that would compliment all of his abilities. The gloves even have an opening for his spinnerets. ~~Today~~ Walter doesn't often have a need to wear his suit outside of fun and training, oddly enough, but it has and continues to prove useful on the field. Certain missions may require it, so he packs it on every mission just in case. Either way, he can still mostly use his abilities in regular attire, though his feet don't stick to surfaces with his shoes being on. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[hangingslothcentral]

you SURE CAN, have these:

^^^ Rupert being a majestic goof

^^^ and a truly RESPLENDENT Nimbus moment

To all the audio drama creators with cats that intrude upon your productions, please let them know Audistorium says "pspspsps" and the little finger wave that lets them know it is time to be pet.

(here's Oliver, my own audio drama cat, and he is certainly auditorily dramatic.)

[callieskye]

I don't get on often, but, I know your hashtags are killer. They put a smile on my face, and I always scroll through them when I see your posts!

You read my tags?!? Did you hear that?! Someone reads my tags!! I was beginning to think only @thefinalhorcruxx paid any attention to my tags Squeee!!

This makes me giddy! Thank you anon!!★tell me what you think of me★

[echotrinityme]

Love Is In Bloom: Chapter 1 Unrequited love is in bloom

Henry was coughing heavily, he didn't know why he was coughing. He was feeling fine earlier when he was hanging out Charles and Rupert. Then suddenly he started feeling a tickle in the back of his throat, he hadn't thought of it as serious until he felt something...painful in his lungs. He coughed again but felt something in his mouth, he put his hand onto his mouth.

Henry gasped softly when he saw what he just spat out, it was a yellow flower. Also there was blood on his hands, he then coughed again. He went to the bathroom to throw up in the toilet, he kept throwing up until he was done. He flushed the toilet and he sat on the floor, he started to sob. Why was he coughing up flowers and blood? He was feeling fine when he was with Charles but when Rupert joined them, he felt odd.

He sighed sadly as he got up, he went out of the bathroom. He went to sit on his bed and rubbed his arms, he hoped what's he experiencing is just temporary.

The next day, Henry went to the base. He was gonna meet with Charles, he felt bad for blowing him off yesterday so he decided to make it up to him. He found him talking to Rupert, he knew Rupert wasn't too fond of him considering their history together. But, Henry had taken a liking to him. Especially after their tryst when Henry was still a thief and Rupert was still a police officer.

Yes, Henry slept with Rupert. How you may asked? Henry doesn't know but he doesn't regret it, but he suspect that Rupert doesn't feel the same way. Henry walked over to them while Charles was still rambling to Rupert, Charles stopped when he noticed Henry coming towards him.

"Hey, Hen!" said Charles, happily.

"Hello." replied Henry, smiling.

Rupert glared at Henry while he was talking with Charles, Rupert was still not a fan of Henry Stickmin. Henry was the bane of his existence ever since Rupert joined the police force, Rupert will always captured him and then Henry will escaped. Except for that one time when Henry started to flirt with him...why? Rupert was so confused but didn't reacted cause he knew Henry was pushing his buttons.

However, Henry kept pushing his buttons until Rupert had enough. Rupert decided to punished him...by fucking him. Why did Rupert decided to fuck him? Rupert doesn't know but he gave Henry quite a punishment, after that "incident", he let Henry go. Of course, Henry disappeared which relieved Rupert but also he missed Henry for some reason.

"Hey, Henry." said Rupert, slowly.

Henry turned to him in surprised, "Hi." said Henry.

Henry rubbed his arm awkwardly while not looking at Rupert, he knew Rupert still did not like him. He tried to apologized to him but he wouldn't listened, Henry doesn't blame him though. But Henry started to take a liking to Rupert, even though the feeling is not mutual. Charles started rambling again while Henry and Rupert were listening to him. Rupert contributed here and there while Henry stayed quiet.

Johnny Panzer and Dave Panpa joined the trio making Rupert happy, Henry watched Rupert as he was laughing with Dave and Johnny. Henry felt an...ugly feeling in his chest, he tried to squashed it down but that ugly feeling wouldn't go away. He felt a poke against his cheek and he turned around to find Charles poking him, Henry smiled faintly at him. Henry politely grabbed Charles' finger and set it down.

The quintet were busy talking and goofing off until Henry felt a something in his lungs again, he started coughing. Charles asked him if he was ok which Henry replied yes but Charles didn't buy it, Henry wanted him to dropped it. Henry tried covering his mouth while coughing to not give attention to himself but too late, Dave went over to Henry while Johnny and Rupert followed him.

"Henry, are you okay." asked Dave.

"Yeah."  lied Henry. "Probably getting sick."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

Henry stopped coughing and gave Dave a thumbs up signaling he's fine. Dave, Johnny, and Charles nodded while Rupert did not look convinced. Something's up with Henry but before he can questioned him, Henry quickly said his goodbyes to everyone. He dashed away from them and ran to his apartment. Henry sighed in relief while he went to sat down on his couch, what's wrong with him?

He started coughing again, covering his mouth with both of his hands. He rubbed his throat and winced in pain, he headed to the kitchen to get a glass of water. He drank the water and headed back to his couch. He wondered if he should go to the doctor but decided against it, he lied down to take a nap. Maybe some sleep will make whatever it is wrong with him to go away but little did he know...

It was only the beginning.

A/N: I'm sorry if this chapter seems short but I'm trying my best. I added Johnny and Dave into the Government cause I feel like they suffered enough, also why do I keep putting Henry into these situations?

[goonlalagoon]

Okay, so this all came to mind after @thats-the-moon-grey​ posted a link to their new Check Please blog and mentioned the apparent overlap between L&L fans and OMGCP fans - so while waiting for the train I started bouncing Academy!OMGCP ideas around in the discord and figured I should maybe collect them somewhere easier to find in case I ever go back and write...actual fic about this because I’m invested now.

So we have:

Jack Zimmerman is a Heorics feat major from a long line of Heroic Feats Majors, who came to the Academy a bit late due to having a breakdown thanks to significant external pressure? Maybe got partway through his first year or maybe in this ‘verse there’s more of a lead up to the Academy. Junior Heroics, or something?

(Jack hasn't yet gotten to Rupes level of 'not a sack of potatoes' understanding with his father, but they're working on it now) (His dad is the equivalent of Sarge, somewhat, in terms of the level of general awe and respect he's held in, both inside and out of the Bureau)

(Alicia Zimmerman does have the ‘not a sack of potatoes’ relationship with Jack. She wasn’t part of the Leagues herself but is widely acknowledged as The Woman To Know by literally everyone and is held in about the same level of awe by the Bureau as her husband. She has Miz Eliza’s “it’s my life and I’m going to live it” attitude combined with Aisling Jones’ grasp of sociopolitics and diplomatic power)

Holster is a combat spec

Ransom is a guide, and he takes it seriously

Frantically studying at three am seriously because "I got that one question wrong on the last test and it's a mild diuretic, what if I'd given it to someone in the field and then they died of dehydration?!?"

He also rocks up with some basic defence skills/physical fitness, so he and his roommate Holster do fitness training together and Holster teaches him more defence because hello? It is his literal job to look after the other people in his league, and how is Ransom supposed to do that if he can’t protect them?? He strives to be able to keep people from getting hurt in the first place.

I feel Shitty would be a guide or a sage, but with a family line not quite as illustrious as Jack's but one where he was definitely expected to be one of the 'respectable' specs, I.e. hero or combat

Actually, yes, Shitty is a reluctant combat spec who gatecrashes lectures for the sages/guides (credit to @soundofez​)

Shitty and Jack are roommates

Lardo is a sage, but more on the ‘creative thinking’ side of things than the ‘books and notes and libraries’ side.

She isn’t actually that interested in active League work, and doesn't particularly care about getting actively involved in the physical side of vigilante life but is very much still The Boss(tm)

She’s the best at organising and planning and kicking this bunch of goofs into gear so she does that

She’s basically Sez, is what I’m saying here, only at the Academy

@thats-the-moon-grey added “Lardo’s creativity + “boss of you” vibes mean she’s the strategy master, Jack is the tactics master but he leans on her a lot to describe what she’s seeing from the sidelines of a fight while ducking and running”

She’s a less extreme Rupert, and is the one who remembers logistics and to pack ceral bars and water and all that stuff

Jack is good at doing all of that for himself, but he forgets that not everyone grew up with all of this.

Jack internally: not everyone grew up knowing Exactly How Much To Pack?? Some people don't know the exact ratio of carbs to protein they need for a day of hunting Things??? Some people don't know that swords rust as soon as you turn your back if you don't clean them right????

Bitty is a Mage who is much more here for the pretty lights and household uses, thank you kindly

He doesn’t do brute force well, but his spell design is a thing of beauty and his casting once he’s got the power in hand is blink and you miss it quick

Johnson is also a mage, and a ridiculously powerful one so is super sensitive to the Elsewhere storms

He has to bail on a planned outing of extra curricular hijinks, and sends Eric Bittle along to help instead because really, this storm isn’t going to affect anyone else unless they’re as sensitive as Johnson.

Johnson mysteriously disappears from most day to day activities, but keeps doing his bits of all of the assignments and covering for them

(Johnson is a seer and Knows How This Will Go, Folks)

Jack at first is...not great with Bitty joining their extra curricular activities

(He and the rest had a system, okay?)

Bitty is a good Mage but not a strong one and that means he can't rely on firepower the whole time

And this ends up with him getting personal defence training from Jack

Because he has issues with conflict but Jack knows you can't exactly avoid it as a League and he's already let his itty bitty mage take a bad hit once this year

Anyway, extra curricular vigilante hijinks happen and they all bond and have a great time and probably save the world or something