#running away from every woman he sees 🤣

[captainbucky-yt]

LUKE THOMPSON as Benedict Bridgerton | S03E03 ‘Forces of Nature’

[myysaints]

°˖ ⊹ ꒰ LN4 ꒱ PICTURES OF YOU ─ LANDO NORRIS

LANDO NORRIS x f!model!reader

⌗︙・ summary — lando accidentally slips up on stream, revealing he has a girlfriend. chaos subsequently ensues.

genre — social media au, fc yeji from itzy

notes — as a fashion girlie myself this was like scripting my ideal life LOL. i love lando and i'm so excited for baku!!! hopefully he can haul ass and get that mclaren to podium - or at least a girl can dream. also gif not mine!!! pics are all from pinterest :) hope you enjoy this one! sorry for the crunchy quality on the tweets, can't seem to find a high quality tweet maker 😭

yourusername

Liked by landonorris, hoooooyeony, bellahadid, and 1,263,402 others

yourusername   new york, it’s been a minute ❤️

view all 564,221 comments

bellahadid   so great to see u on the runway again! xx

yourusername   had so much fun with u babe xx

miumiu   🤍🩰

heconghc   pretty girl

Liked by landonorris yourusername   all u ❤️

maxitaxi   anyone else notice lando lurking in the comments? 🤨

landonorrizz   my guy aint slick at ALL 🤣 y/nults   lmfaooo leave him alone he just like us fr Liked by landonorris

tifosiiibabe   So Lando and Y/N were both in NY at the same time, AND he’s liking every comment calling her pretty?

lulusdelulu   the math is, in fact, mathing…. yukismatchagirl   Y/N WAG CONFIRMED!!!!!!!

lando.jpg

Liked by yourusername, daniel.jpg, f1, and 3,219,004 others

lando.jpg   Singapore. Shot by Lando Norris.

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daniel.jpg   you’re gonna give me a run for my money mate!

lando.jpg   All’s fair in love and war, mate

yourusername   talented showstopping incredible!!!!!

Liked by lando.jpg

yourusername

Liked by lando.jpg, lilymhe, carlossainz55, and 14,912 others

yourusername   shot by my love

view all 324 comments

yourbestfriend   okayyyyyy so the mystery man has skillz!

yourusername   On and off the track ;)

lilymhe   gorgeous baby!!!! date me!!!!!

alex_albon   :((( yourusername   🤭 alex_albon   sleep with five eyes open, y/n >:(

y/nsbiggestfan   y/n interacting with lily he and alex albon i prayed for days like these

kimikimchi   y/n at the paddock WHEN

y/nnspinkiefinger   no one talking about this post being a literal soft launch ?????

takeawalk   omg yeah and the “on and off the track” comment…. SO HE IS A DRIVER!!!!! landooonorizz   fr like “SHOT BY LANDO NORRIS” “SHOT BY MY LOVE”. IF 1+1=2....

yourusername added to their story.                                                      17s

[caption: gooooooo teammmmmmmm @/mclaren]

f1wagupdates

Liked by landonorris, and 34,021 others

f1wagupdates   Cause for celebration! After his podium win at the Singapore Grand Prix, fans spotted Lando Norris enjoying a night to remember with a mystery woman on a small motorboat not far from the Sentosa resort at which he allegedly stayed at. Fans reported the couple being “all over each other” and “laughing the night away”. 🥂🪩

view all 4,551 comments

maxitaxi   that is so definitely yourusername you don’t even have to think for a minute

sarascardriving   BROOOOO tagging her is crazy 😭😭   maxitaxi   and i’ll do it again. so yourusername when’s the hard launch? maxitaxi   as a matter of fact. landonorris when’s the Y/N .jpg feature?

drivingmeinsane   lando liked omfg

kikilikeskiwi   all thanks to maxitaxi thank you for your service 🫡

lando.jpg

Liked by daniel.jpg, yourusername, pierregasly, and 1,293,334 others

lando.jpg   You ask, I deliver.

view all 774,291 comments

maxitaxi   I-

Liked by lando.jpg

yourusername   hot damn norris. who’s the pretty lady?

lando.jpg   🤷‍♂️

daniel.jpg   Man, you’re gonna put me out of business!

lando.jpg   Too bad I have the prettiest muse. Liked by yourusername

charles_leclerc   Wearing the superior team colours I see.

lando.jpg   Don’t even start, I can take you on anyday Frenchie louderlauda   OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH HE HIT HIM WHERE IT HURTS yourusername   low blow, norris, low blow lando.jpg   😔 sorry ma’am reorgegussellshirt   🤳📸

danielricciardo added to their story.                                                                                   38s

[caption: making a @/lando.jpg post]

yourusername

Liked by landonorris, danielricciardo, heidiberger, and 2,219,442 others

yourusername   sun’s out & fun’s out!

view all 213,459 comments

bellahadid   glowing

lilyrosedepp   mother is mothering!

landonorris   ahem, pic creds?

yourusername   🙄 thanks i guess…. landonorris   we can talk about my payment when you get home 😉 This comment has been removed.

barbiealbono   “when you get home” UM. HELLO????

dannyr333   Sooooo the girl Lando was taking a pic of for lando.jpg on danielricciardo 's story is … Y/N?

tsunodascupcake   girl you lost me at Lando betaromeo   no fr like i had a stroke tryna read that 😭

lando.jpg

Liked by yourusername, lilymhe, and 4,213,577 others

🏷   yourusername

lando.jpg   lost the pic but gained some great memories 🎞 have this one instead as an apology

Comments on this post have been limited.

yourusername   what a great shot

lando.jpg   well, it’s pretty easy when you have a great muse daniel.jpg   We get it, the two of you are in love. Now leave the rest of us in peace lando.jpg   Wow, thanks for the support, Daniel yourusername   you’re uninvited from our housewarming party daniel.jpg   NOOOOO I TAKE IT BACK I TAKE IT BACKKKKKKKKK      

yourusername

Liked by charles_leclerc, carlossainz55, danielricciardo, and 8,213,994 others

🏷   landonorris

yourusername   swapping out the soft launch for the hard launch 🛞 did i get it right landonorris ?

view all 657,492 comments

landonorris   nailed it ❤️ couldn’t have been prouder my love

yourusername   does this mean i get to pick the movie tonight? landonorris   You’re cute, but not that cute landonorris   Just kidding babe i love you landonorris   Babe landonorris   Baby? landonorris   I’m sorry baby I didn’t mean it you can pick the movie you can pick dinner just call me back PLEASE landonorris   …Y/N? yourusername   whoops sorry my phone died !!!! what happened here???? landonorris   …. yourusername   LOL love you babe xx yourusername   soooooooo do i still get to pick the movie tonight…? landonorris   i love you, so fine. yourusername   ❤️ !!!! landonorris   😊

© myysaints

[giuliettagaltieri]

Just a silly thought - Imagine if rafe were a victor/capitol citizen and he tried to go after the woman that politician coriolanus intends to make his first lady.. villain vs villain who would win? 🤣

Oohhhh I like the way you and the last anon think

Capitol Darling

Pairing: Coriolanus Snow x Capitol! Reader x Rafe Cameron

Chapter Synopsis: Aspiring President Coriolanus Snow and Business Tycoon Rafe Cameron fights for your hand.

Word Count: 584

It was difficult for you to miss the rivalry between them.  Even back at the academy.  Both seem like completely different people.  One was biding his time, the other incredibly proactive and while Coriolanus Snow was clawing his way to the top, Rafe Cameron was spending daddy’s money on parties.

They are both charming in their own way, handsome smiles, pretty eyes, and intelligent.

But you know the two of them have violent tendencies.  You witnessed Coriolanus kill a tribute and you know that whatever he did in District 12 is best left untold.  You watch Rafe Cameron silence a man who threatened the very foundations of the Business Empire his father built.

Rafe Cameron is very charming, making you feel special with the way he kisses your hand in the galas he now holds as he begins to take over his father’s company.  But you remind yourself that you are not the only one he charms.  He is very good at making you believe otherwise.  Especially with the way he holds eye contact with you while having a different girl clinging to his arm.

Coriolanus Snow lied low but once he decided he wanted you, there was no holding back especially with him marching down the path of becoming the President.  Gone was the snobby boy from the academy.  This is a man who is determined to make you his.  But you feel like a little bug slowly being wrapped in a spider’s web everytime he tries to woo you.

You know that whatever motivation these men have for attempting to have you is not based on affections but for a selfish gain.

What is not to like about you?  You are beautiful and perfect to parade around during parties.  You have a good name that most of the Capitol looks up to.  You have money to last you multiple lifetimes.  Connections that would put the two of them to shame.  And they know you will not run away when you see the evil that lives in their skin.

The two of them step up their game as soon as they realize they are not the only one who is trying to win you.

It was very fun for you to watch.  How they levitate to you during parties, dropping conversations with important men in the Capitol just to ask you for a dance.  You glowed under the attention.

You sip your glass of posca as the two of them square up, eyes not willing to back down, challenging, as both their hands are offered to you.

“Gentlemen.”  You smile as you place a hand on each of their stiff shoulders.  “I would love to go to dance with you both.”  You lift the slim card from your table for them to see.  “But I’m afraid, my dance card is full.”  Gracefully, you rise from your seat and smile at them slyly, brushing them with your dress as you slip past. 

They close your eyes at the effect you have on them, not liking how much power you have just by batting your eyes.  They were supposed to get you to fall in love, not the other way around.

But just as they recover, Rafe Cameron and Coriolanus Snow glance at each other, finding an uncanny sense of camaraderie and sympathy for what just took place, especially when they notice that almost every head in the party is turned to you, it appears they are not the only ones playing in the field.

[aviradasa]

Ok as a fandom i think we look over one golden detail in the lost boys.

Davids last name is (apparently) powers.

DO YALL KNOW HOW GOLDEN THAT IS THERE ARE SO MANY MISSED OPPORTUNITIES FOR FUNNY ASS THINGS

Imagine if the boys had lived long enough to see the austin powers movies and just terrorized david with it. They would never give him a break every chance they get they would quote the movies to him or make some kind of joke. I know i would 😭

Like imagine he fucking loses something like the blood bottle gets misplaced and hes looking around for it when the other walk it

"Whats up with you" paul asks with a wicked grin on his face already planning the set up of the night.

"I've lost it." He responds before he sees the grin on pauls face. Dwayne and marko are behind him trying to keep from laughing and he already know what's gonna happen.

" Oh my god guys. He lost it!"

"Don't do it. I swear to god."

" He's lost his mojo!" Paul says turning to the others dramaticly with his hands on his face the others of course laugh with him cackling like hyenas. and david just stands there like. 😑🧍‍♂️

He's so sick of it. He cursed whoever showed them those movies.

Oh and sometimes when they piss him off and he tries to grab them or something the will throw up the prayer hands and quote the "Specticals,testicals wallet and watch." Before giggling and running away as he tries to snatch them

But my personal favorite is this

Sometimes the boys will throw shoes at each other when annoyed or just when messing around and if David in particular throws one they will quote " you idiot who throws a shoe? Honestly you fight like a woman." And laugh when he gets up to actually fight them. Ducking out of the way just in time before almost getting tackled.

Im sorry like its just so funny to me i have no clue why. This is probably the dumbest thing I've ever written 🤣🤣🤣

[curvykittyyssmutfics]

virgin!Megumi

A/N: Who has time to fuck when they're too busy kickin ass? Also.. Kinda went overboard on this one. Was trying to keep it pg-13, maybe get to a lil nc-17 but ended with straight porn! 🤣🤣

virgin!Megumi isn't really sure how this happened.. He's not blind to the opposite sex. Knows what women think of him, how they stare when he walks by; easily notices his female teammates eye-fucking him as they spar. So why the fuck hasn't he gotten his dick wet yet? Well.. Unfortunately for them, he's more interested in how you see him. "Lookin good, Gumi. Such a fuckin tease, know that? When you gone let me hit?" You whisper in his ear, giggling and smackin his ass when you walk by during his match. 'What. The. Entire. Fuck.' He thinks, gaze fixed on your cute lil wink and sway of your curvy hips. Your beautiful body is unmatched to him, makes him lose focus as he watches you walk away. Can't really be blamed for the way he stares, cheeks warm from your public teasing. It's not his fault he ends up face down in the ground while Yuji does a spit-take, clutching his sides laughing at how Megumi groans and coughs out a mouth full of dirt. "Dude! Never turn your back on your opponent." "No shit, Itadori!" He's half hard and embarrassed as shit right now thanks to you.

virgin!Megumi knows that your lil show of dominance was actually pretty tame- considering your usual antics. He's 100% sure you know about his little predicament and use it to your advantage any chance you get. "Oh what the fuck!" Megumi's shout pulls you downstairs to see what the hells goin on. He looks so cute: got your flower apron on, kitchen towel on his shoulder as he struggles opening a can with damp fingers. "Awww, my poor baby havin some trouble?" You chuckle at him, taking the jar poppin it open with ease, and set it on the counter. "No, it's cause- well obviously I could've done that myself! My hands.. It's just cause my fingers are wet." He sputters but you don't bother payin attention. You're slinkin up to his fine ass, nosing into his pale throat, peckin slow sweet kisses. "Mmm, Gumi. Taste so good. Wonder where else you taste good.." Oh, how he's so willing to let you find out. Your body presses into his side, perky brown titties pushing against his arm, adoring how he immediately comes undone for you. His head tilts as he whines your name, hips jerking as you lick at his skin. "So needy already. Poor thing. Only takes a kiss to your pretty throat.. Now you're ready to buss a big nut for me, huh baby?" He's nodding before you can get the question out. What a goddamn sight.. Megumi holding tight at your waist, dick tenting deliciously as he humps into the air. Fuck, he'd kill every curse on earth just to feel your dainty fingers wrap around him. Why does it always feel so dam amazing when you've barely touched him? "Know what would feel soooo good, princess? If you cum for me, right here- right now." More pretty moans before he gives you an unintelligible "N-not a princess." You smirk, hand creepin up to yank his head back by a fist full of his dark hair and grace him with one last harsh nip. He sounds so pretty when he gives you a loud whiny "Fuck!" Your too fuckin estatic to witness Megumi's eager sounds, pretty face pinched up as shivers run throughout his perfect athletic body. All of his reactions only for you.. So you palm down his thick clothed cock once as a reward. His whimpers are so fuckin pathetic, that paired with the cum stain quickly spreading across the fat bulge in his pants. "Seriously, Megumi?" you laugh heartily, slapping his toned ass once and heading back upstairs. Your boyfriend gazes at your exit with glazed eyes before thumping his head back into the cupboard to stare at the ceiling. "Fuckin woman's gonna be the death of me." He mutters under his breath as shame creeps in once again.

virgin!Megumi loves when you give him lessons on how to please you. As much as he's dying to cram his dick into you, he thinks learning how to make you feel good is so much more important. So Megumi sits on his knees, naked from the waist down on the floor by the foot of the bed; cock harder than it's ever been as he gives himself quick sloppy strokes. He's absolutely engrossed with your fingers playing between your thick cocoa thighs. Bright white teeth clench together at the sight, trapping his dark blue t-shirt in-between. "Y/n, come closer. Please! Wanna see you up close." Words muffled but hopin you understand. You're so preoccupied with the pleasure, eyes closed as you scoot to the edge of the bed to give him a better view of your nude body. You pick up the pace of the 2 fingers slippin in and out of your tight gushy hole. The sounds of your lil puss fill the room, adding to the slaps of his handjob and both of your heavy pants. "Fuuuuck, love when you watch me play with my pussy. Mmm, yeeesss- so good! You like it t-too, right Gumi?" The breathless way you say his name has him agreeing before he can process what your asking. It's the fuckin truth anyway. "So damn perfect, y/n. I swear it. Never seen anyone more beautiful." He vows, leaning in close as you bring your other hand down to rub your clit in quick messy circles. "Ahhh! My Go- getting so close baby. Turnin me on so much. Kiss me! Kiss me Gumi, pleeeeease." Megumi's never heard you sound so submissive, so utterly feminine as you get closer to your high. "Okay, honey, okay.." He springs to his feet, snatchin his shirt over his head before caging your sweaty brown body with his. Feels fucking incredible when his body pins yours to the bed, hard dick pokin at your slit. Removing your hands to clutch at his back as the feeling of his dry humpin amps you up. "Fuck, Gumiiii! Dont wanna rush you, jus- ohmyGod! Cant wait anymore, baby. Just the tip, yeah? Please Gumi, just lemme have the tip!" Those rosy lips melt into yours passionately at your earlier request as well as to silence your filthy mouth before you make him nut, but you can barely keep up. Orgasm hittin so viciously, you're doing more moaning than kissing into Megumi's mouth. And boy does he fucking loves it, inhaling each one as he continues to press his mouth over yours. His body slides repeatedly against your own, itchin to give you his cock. The rough pressure on your clit keeps you mindless as your please alternate between "Please, Gumi, please.." and "dick, just the tip.." 'Fuck it.' He thinks, cock slippin clumsily against your hole before he angles just right and forces the head of his dick between your walls. You're insides suffocate him, hug him lovingly as he immediately gives you 3 jerky thrusts that have you wailing. "Thank you baby. Ah, ah, ah! Th-thank you, so fuckin much!" The way you sound, the wet warmth on his cock.. It's all just so damn nerve-wracking, so mind-blowing and he cant take it anymore. A thunderous groan permeates the room before Megumi goes silent, stiff as a board ontop you when he pulls out to pour his nut out all over your pussy lips. Rubbing your hands down your boyfriend's flushed back soothingly as you feel his hot cum cover your cunt, raining drips down your ass crack. Fuck, what a mess. "Good boy, Megumi. Such a good boy for me." You tell him as he gasps into the side of you neck.

[yeowangies]

Hint of light

PAIRING: Raditz/AFAB!Reader. CONTENTS: Yandere!Reader, Noncon/dubcon, Bondage, Drugs, Handjob, Blowjob. WORDCOUNT: 1063

Summary:

He couldn’t even remember how he fell asleep, or where he even was. For starters, he was sitting on a chair.

And when he tried to move, he realized that he couldn’t. 

Notes:

KINKTOBER DAY 17: Bondage

I was dying to write a yandere reader, I hope I did good 🤣 I'm finishing the next week soon to wrap up kinktober btw!

@actuallysaiyan

divider by @/saradika-graphics

When Raditz woke up, everything was fussy. He couldn’t even remember how he fell asleep, or where he even was. For starters, he was sitting on a chair.

And when he tried to move, he realized that he couldn’t. 

His wrists were tied behind his back, and so were his ankles. But it was more than that. He was trying to command his brain to move, but his body didn’t respond. Grunting in desperation, he attempted to use every power in him to free himself, to raise his ki and destroy the chair if it meant to be free of his restraints. But it was all in vain. 

Raditz had been obviously drugged. 

The room was dark, not even a hint of light in sight. His vision was compromised, that was his first thought, but it wasn’t so insane to be in a room so dark he wouldn’t be able to see. He groaned in frustration when he tried to get rid of his restraints again, until he heard footsteps approaching. 

“Hey, Raditz,” You said, standing in front of the man. “How are you feeling?”

“What have you done to me?!” Raditz grunted, in a surprisingly weak voice. 

He hated sounding so vulnerable, but it was probably whatever drug you gave him. He couldn’t even focus his eyes on you for too long without his vision getting blurry.

“That’s not a nice way to answer a question, you know?” You pouted.

When you threaded your fingers through his hair, Raditz’s head jerked back, though not as violently as he hoped. You soothed him, caressing his scalp before running your fingers through his hair, as if trying to calm a rabid dog. 

“What have you done to me?” He repeated in a calmer voice, fiercely glaring at you.

“Mmmh, I don’t know what you mean.” You replied with a smile. “You had been teasing me for too long, you know?”

“What?”

“You had been mean to me, and I only did what I had to do to have you all for myself.”

Your hand slid down his neck, momentarily wrapping his throat before sliding downwards. 

It was then that Raditz realized that he only had his pants on. He couldn’t even remember what his clothes were when he was conscious. What was he even doing before he got taken there? How did you even get to drug him and tie him up?

Your touch made him shiver as your fingers trailed down his chest. Your fingers were cold, but he figured his body temperature was higher than usual due to his own trepidation because of the current situation. 

“What the fuck are you doing?”

“Don’t talk to me as if you haven’t been thinking about me.” 

You batted your eyelashes when Raditz looked at you. He wasn’t an idiot to not notice how attractive you were, but he knew better than to lay with a human woman. Especially when you made it obvious how obsessed with him you were. 

Fuck, he should have gotten as far away from you as he could when he had the chance. 

His own instinct was betraying him, however, when your hand slid down his abdomen, heat inside him rising. 

“I don’t even know what you’re talking about.” Raditz tried to save face when the muscles in his abdomen flexed underneath your touch. 

You gave him a knowing look before turning your gaze towards his clothed crotch. 

Raditz flinched when he felt blood rush south, forming a prominent bulge in his pants. He couldn’t defend himself, and his mind was telling him that it must have been the drug, but deep down he knew better. 

What you were doing was fucked up, but it was turning him on like nothing else he ever experienced. 

When you pulled your hand away, Raditz jolted, huffing and puffing as if he had run out of air. 

“Oh, Raditz,” You purred, with stars gleaming in your eyes. “So you do feel something for me, don’t you?”

“What in the-”

“I knew it, it was just so obvious!”

Raditz stuttered during the second it took you to cup his face and lean down to kiss him. It was a shallow kiss, just lips pressing together, and you pulled away with a mushy sound after a moment. 

Your hands promptly hooked on the waistband of his pants, pulling them down in one swift move. Raditz cursed under his breath when his cock sprung out, hard and standing at attention. His shame only lasted for a second until you made a pleased sound as you wrapped your hand around it, slowly pumping it. 

“Fuck…” He grunted, quickly overwhelmed by the sensation of your warm hand on his dick. 

You couldn’t even wrap his erection fully around your small hand, but it was as if you were burning him with your touch. Raditz got lightheaded when you picked up the pace, whatever drug you had injected in him making it hard for him to focus on anything except your fist on his dick and the heat in his abdomen growing. 

It hit Raditz with full force when he came, quicker than ever before. You grinned, completely happy with yourself when his cock throbbed and he spilled his cum all over your hand. His entire face was hot, both from embarrassment and the physical strain he had been put under, and he kept his eyes fixed on the floor, not even daring to look at you after what had happened. 

“Don’t feel bad, baby,” You cooed, getting on your knees between his legs. “It’s hot that you came so quickly because of me.”

Raditz stammered, locking eyes with you when you gazed up at him with hearts in your eyes. He wanted to complain, struggle some more to try and get free, but when your lips got close to the head of his cock, he couldn’t. He stared as you softly licked at the tip, gathering the cum still there. 

His heart was beating rapidly in his chest when you took him in your mouth, swallowing with an expertise he had hardly witnessed before. Raditz gasped and groaned, hips jerking forward, forcing you to take his cock even deeper, yet you didn’t even gag. He kept his eyes on you while you bobbed your head until he could no longer keep focus, too far gone to fight back. 

[thegreymoon]

The Story of Minglan

LMAO, I knew I could count on Imperial Tutor Yu! 😂

***

I am cackling 🤣🤣

Honestly, I think Yanran is too stupid to live and I have no love for this character, but the grandparents are great!

***

Screaming at all these idiotic maids!

If they were in the Qi household, they would all be dead by now.

***

LMAOOOO, the way he jumped up like his ass was on fire 🤣🤣

It seems like she severely miscalculated her odds here.

***

Oh, yes, keep digging your grave 🙄

***

I honestly can't stand her.

All she does is cry and look shocked and bewildered, and then runs to Minglan to solve her problems for her, starting from fixing her shitty embroidery, to reclaiming her dead mother's belongings that she didn't take proper care of to begin with, to advocating for her on huge matters such as that of HER OWN MARRIAGE.

Like, grow a spine. Grow a brain. Learn some life skills (like locking up precious possessions, for example 🙄). And if you can't? THEN SUFFER.

The idea of her with Gu Tingye gives me so much ick and not just because his plan is gross and he is deliberately going after her because she is weak and stupid. The very concept of such a strong, intelligent and capable man with this wet rag of a woman makes me break out in hives.

***

And the way they start playing sad, pitiful music every time she shows up on screen, I cannot 🙄🙄

***

No, you don't understand, Tutor Yu!

It was raining that day, so the ground was slippery! And he just... slipped and fell! Onto Manniang! And his dick just went into her vagina! But like... by accident! Because of the dick-to-vagina homing system that is activated in all young men when they are in the vicinity of a prostitute! It was not his fault at all! And then she was pregnant. And had a baby! And then it happened again! And she had another baby! But it was the circumstances, Tutor Yu! Not his doing at all! Please understand! 🙏🙏

***

Are you not ashamed of speaking such blatant lies?

The only reason you're after this particular woman is because she's too weak to stop you from bringing your mistress and illegitimate kids into your marital home!

***

LMAOOOOOO

WHAT IS SHE DOING??? IS SHE TRYING TO SABOTAGE THIS MARRIAGE? BITCH, HE IS DOING THIS FOR YOU!! YOU WILL NEVER BE A FIRST WIFE, GET REAL.

Because even though the grandparents agreed after his pitiful act, THEY AGREED BECAUSE HE SAID THERE WOULD BE NO SECOND WIFE! With her here making a scene at their house, this match is doomed.

***

LMAO, bitch what.

LOL, I love the response "You're completely alive already." Like, shut up.

***

You fucking moron. You imbecile. You deserve every second of being made a fool of because you have a spine of jelly. SAY NO. JUST SAY FUCKING NO. LET HER FUCKING KNEEL, SHE WILL GET UP AS SOON AS HER KNEES GET TIRED. OR BETTER YET, WHEN YOUR PARENTS GET HOME, HAVE HER DRAGGED AWAY. UGH, THIS MAKES ME ANGRY.

***

Good. You are not fit for life.

***

WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T CHASE HER AWAY?

I'm pretty certain there is some form of law enforcement here that will very much get rid of her for you, especially since she is a literal nobody, making a scene and dragging the reputation of a well-off house. Let her try this at Gu manor and see how it goes! Oh, wait, she did! And it went as well for her there as it could be expected, lol, she almost got her and her daughter's asses sold into slavery, smh.

[beanibon]

Hi 👋 can i request a smutty wolfwood x fem reader, where after everything him and his s/o finally retire and decide to take care of the orphanage. And seeing his s/o be amazing with the kids makes him go brrrr and think of how great she'll be as a mother and then....breeding kink? 🤣

GIVE THIS MAN ALL THE CHILDREN, WE ALL KNOW HE'LL BE THE BEST DAD IN THE WORLD!

TW: smut, breeding kink, mentioned oral (f!receiving), marking, doggy style (good breeding position tbh), overstimulation.

It had been several years now, peace finally entering Nicholas's life. Even if it did still feel odd.

But with all that said and done, alongside side the only woman he'd ever truly love, Nicholas took over the Hope Land's Orphanage. Protecting the children, and making sure none of them would ever go through what he had.

Another thing Wolfwood tried to do was quit smoking, but that proved a lot harder then he thought. Which was why he was currently hiding, a freshly lit cigarette between his dry lips, that bitter taste inhaled into his lungs.

He knew you'd kill him the moment he was caught, reprimanding him after he swore he'd stop. Yet maybe that's why he denied fully quitting, your face scrunched up in anger was always so adorable, how could he possibly get enough.

"Mieko that's a beautiful drawing, we'll hang it up on the wall later on." Nicholas peeked around the corner, dark eyes observing the way you kneeled low, admiring one of the children's drawings.

A familiar ache throbbed in his pants, causing Nicholas to grunt in discomfort, yet that saccharine voice dragged him back. Hearing the way you spoke to the children made Nicholas happy beyond a doubt, the way you took to each and every one. Not to mention how the children instantly grew fond of you, clinging to your clothes, begging for attention and constant affection. Hell it made him jealous even.

Yet there was one thing that drove Nicholas absolutely wild, which was the image of you pregnant with his own child.

That very thought had shivers running up and down his spine, another drag of his cigarette in attempts to calm the blood flow to lower regions. Perhaps it was something worth mentioning later when the children were all tucked into bed? It definitely wouldn't hurt.

"What did I tell you about smoking, mister!" Wolfwood straightened, head spun to look at your angry, displeased face.

The children surrounding you were giggling, faux looks of shock through some of them. The sight of children clinging to you had Wolfwood's mind wander, until you leapt forward to snatch the embering cigarette.

"What's the harm in one, sweetheart? Can't let me treat myself?" Nicholas cooed, easily moving the cigarette out of reach as you collided against him.

"You said you'd quit, and that I'm allowed to pester you when you caved!" Another poor attempt of thwarting his addiction.

"Did I say that? Shit I don't remember."

"No swearing in front of the kids!" You scolded, hands placed firmly on your hips. A chorus of voices agreeing, playful and teasing.

"Nico said a bad word!"

"Mister Nichowas stop teasing Mrs Y/N!"

"Geez Kiddos, you aren't gonna stick up for me? I'm the one being denied here, don't wanna stick up for lil old me?" Nicholas teased, earning a charge of children tackling him, allowing you to pluck the cigarette from his fingers.

"I think that answers your question, seems that's another win for me." Stamping out the cigarette, you shooed the children away, helping your disgruntled husband off the ground. Gentle hands dusting off the sand sticking to his clothes, fixing his collar.

"Can we have kids?" He blurted out, eyes trailing down to your stomach.

"We have many kids." You responded patiently, oblivious to what he was suggesting.

"Angel," Nicholas brought your face to his, placing a sweet kiss to those beautiful lips of yours. "I'm meaning our own kids."

Your face flushed red, eyes wide as you considered his proposal. You weren't against the idea, just confused as you thought Nicholas was content with all the children running about the orphanage. Never before considering he'd want his own children.

"Why don't we discuss this further when all the children are in bed, okay?"

The bed creaked dangerously, the sound echoing off the walls had you shushing Nicholas frantically, worried the kids would awaken. Only Wolfwood didn't care, pace quickening.

"Nicholas! The childr-"

"Please Angel, just shaddup for a sec," Nicholas cooed, teeth sinking into your shoulder as he pounded into you roughly. "Gonna impregnate you real good, sweetheart."

Your cunt was already dripping with previous loads of his cum, face pressed into the pillow to muffle your pleas, moans and whimpers. Teeth marks covered the back of your neck, entire back and legs even from when Nicholas was eating you out.

Rough hands squeezed your waist, pulling it back as he thrust his hips forward, the plush of your ass somewhat cushioning his harsh hips slamming into you. Nicholas grunted, breathing irregularly as he faltered yet again.

"Ready for another load of my cum? Gonna make some mini mes?" Those fangs nibbled against your ear, earning some angelic noises from your lips.

Those sweet noises were the cherry on top, hot cum filling you up until you were swollen to the brink. Tongue hanging out as you cried at your final release, stars filling your teary vision.

Chaste kisses were placed along your spine, calloused hands massaging you with more gentleness then their previous rough nature. Nicholas laid you on you side, legs pressed together in attempts to keep his seed inside you, arms wrapping around you.

"You did well, Angel," He praised sweetly, a hand placed upon your stomach. "You look beautiful."

Nicholas couldn't stop imagining you fat with his child, the very idea had him hard yet again. Only this time your tired form smacked his arm, groaning at the idea of being fucked ruthless again.

"Put it away, I'm not dealing with it anymore." You grumbled, Nicholas chuckling at your irritated voice.

"Sorry Y/N, can't help it when you get me so excited." Another smack, this time to his face had him barking in laughter, arms squeezing you close as you whined. "Don't worry, I'm too tired anyways. Think I went overboard..."

"No shit, five rounds without a break in exhausting, if I'm not pregnant then there's something wrong with your cock." You teased, turning to nuzzle into his chest.

Nicholas smiled, holding you close as he pressed a final kiss to the crown of your head, eyes closing as he drifted off to sleep.

"I love you, Angel."

"I love you too, Nico."

[kookies2000]

Just need to figuer something out.

Death 1 was at the Running of the Bulls. He most likely hasn't met Kitty in that death. He died flirting so yes, they hadn't met. He may be a ladies man but I'm sure his mama taught him how to respect a woman he's in a relationship with.

Death 2 was a poker game. Which is my favorite because he looks aesthetically pleasing to me.

Death 3, drunk and falls off a tower.

Death 4, buff Puss dies from weights.

Death 5, canon incident. We know he's met Kitty at this point and they're most likely still a couple. Considering there didn't seem to be any bad blood between them.

Death 6, shellfish.

And then 7, fire when baking with Gingy. At this point, we know he left Kitty at the alter and met Shrek.

8th is bell.

Ok! So we have a good hint of the timeline!!!

Puss grew up in an orphanage and meets Humpty. He gets mistaken for a their and is ram out of town.

Puss in Boots goes to this town and has his adventures. Hence the show.

Then he meets Kitty and reunites with Humpty, 1st movie. He's on life #2 here.

Then he meets the Tres Diablos. I'm assuming he was on life #2 or #3 at this point.

Then the Trident. Life #5 Assuming Kitty and Puss are together in this, this also means that he and Kitty were a couple when Puss jumped off a tower drunk. I'm sure Kitty didn't let him live that down. And this is a cursed thought. This also means they were a couple when Puss looked like this, life #4.

I hope to God no but at the same time yes because he was probably tired of Kitty always beating him in every sword fight. 🤣

And now it's safe to assume he's on his 6th life when he leaves the wedding. I love this theory where when he runs away from the wedding, he hops on a boat and goes to Far Far Away on that same day. And considering he's a thief, I don't think he would have enough money to eat at a fancy restaurant. So he most likely lost his 6th life when he ate shellfish at the castle. Which I love because I can just imagine Shrek and Fiona watching their friend die at the dinner table. They panic for a moment only for him to come back to life. 😂

And then of course, his 7th life when he's baking with Gingy.

8th life, he decides to go back to his adventuring and visits Spain again. He dies from a bell.

9th and final life, The Last Wish. He goes back to see his friend's and of course, he'll introduce his wife and best friend to them.

BOOM!!!!

Time line down!!!!

[whytheylosttheirminds]

Okay but as a happily married woman to a totally devoted husband, hear me out. He has to earn her trust back, it’s definitely possible to come back from big fuck ups and be better for it.

THAT BEING SAID Rafe has to learn that reader needs her trust returned and honestly, she shouldn’t be shy in making him prove it. A man in love really will wait till you’re ready and reader shouldn’t feel bad about that and he def shouldn’t make her. Asking her to be his girl to prove he’s changed isn’t the same thing as earning trust.

So that being said I want to see GROVELING. I want to see REFLECTION. I want to see GRAND ROMANTIC GESTURES. I want to see Rafe earning Carter’s trust!!! MAKE HIM WORK FOR IT and I promise you everyone will be happier in the long run ❤️

I fucking love this story and cannot read the rest!!!!!! You’re so awesome- makes my 30yro toddler mom self entertained and feel so grateful to be out of that phase of dating 🤣 married life is really where it’s at- and it’s all the sweeter once you have babies of your own ❤️ hopefully we get an epilogue or two from this universe!!!

wait I’m BLOWN AWAY that you’re a WHOLE MOM and you take the time to read my writing 😭 that means sm to me I’m so glad you’re here!

and I don’t wanna say too much because spoilers but actually this ask just made the end of this story so much clearer in my head!!! Thank you!!!! You’ll see what I mean soon but PERIOD on every single thing you said!!!

thank you so much!! 😘💕

[whumped-by-glitter]

I saw this post about crazy museum stories, and I see lots of retail stories, but I don’t see a lot of airport stories….

So here are some of my craziest stories from working at an airport.

Airport behind the scenes:

• The random passenger who told me to get off the carousel (I was fixing it) then absolutely couldn’t believe I was a female and a mechanic. Then he proceeded to insinuate my military rank before getting out meant I messed up (AF just ranks slower, we had a bit of a bottleneck problem when I was in). He then suggested my supervisor didn’t know how to do his job well and could “just take us all under his wing”. All of this before asking for a job…..

• The passenger who insisted I check him in for his flight that left 2 hrs ago, when I was fixing the ticket counter conveyor belt, all the lights were off and I was literally black up to my elbows in grease….

• The woman who rode up and down the glass elevator in ticketing, lifting her skirt repeatedly, until the sheriffs had to come get her. Bonus points: it was only around noon, and no she wasn’t flying anywhere.

• The woman who got demanded she get on a plane at 11 pm, when flights are no longer going out, with no ID or money, to a city that was literally a 45 min drive away, with no airport. She proceeded to stop pick up traffic with an airport use wheelchair.

• A man who went through an armed door to the ramp, took all of his clothes of and sat there (that one made news).

• A woman who decided to take off all of her clothes and run around the main part of the airport. A sheriff and 2 cleaners had to catch her, she ran through the parking structure at 1am, in January in the northern Midwest.

• The absolutely insane contract manager that almost got sued by Southwest Airlines for wearing disguises and hiding to catch their ticket counter agents putting begs on the belt wrong (they weren’t, also wearing 2 hats and a fake mustache is not inconspicuous sir) that was the talk of the airport for quite a while…

• The gate agent that somehow messed up the jetbridge so bad I had to take every single limit sensor apart so I could override it. When he called it in all I was told was “the wheel locked up and I kept moving it, and I made an ooopsies.”

• The coworker that would insist on wanting to empty the lavs (which is easier than loading bags) but would mess it up at least once every other week and spill on himself, then just look horrified but not move….

• A woman rode an unattended baggage belt, luckily she was read as an oversize bag and sent directly to TSA, she literally could have been killed. She scared the daylights out of some TSA agents though. Could you imagine- you expect a golf club bag or something and get a person popping out?

• The lady who was really scared to fly, got really drunk, and fell down an up escalator. It was Christmas and luckily the gate agents were able to book her on a new flight the next day for free. But when asked if she had someone to pick her up, she called her husband, in Texas… (this is an airport near Chicago) she literally didn’t even know what airport she was at. A sheriff took her to a hotel to let her sleep it off, and to my knowledge she made it out safe the next morning.

I found a cat stuck in a wall, well actually she climbed through the wall and became trapped in a plumbing closet. She is really lucky some Southwest agents heard her crying and called us (they figured since we worked on conveyors and had tons of tools, we might be able to help. We called airport ops to open the closet door, and there she was. I still have her to this day, her name is Delta, and she is a very weird cat, I blame it on the fumes 🤣

All of this and more, and I work at a relatively small airport, and I was only there 5 years, and primarily worked 3rd shift as a mechanic.

@karmaisntab

[dukeofdelirium]

Priscilla is fcking unhinged. She spent like three minutes on that ask thing trashing MJ. Mind you, this marriage was like 3 decades ago! What made it clear to me that isn't someone who just dislike the man who her daughter married. This was someone who was and is still clearly envious. I just know she was seething that MJ was the husband who couldn't be referred as Lisa Maries Presleys husband. I know she HATED it that during that Elvis tribute in 1994 he got more applause than anybody by simply showing up. It's the fact the only black man her daughter married was more succesful than her own exhusband ( yes they are divorced so idk why she still runs around with the presley name). It's that she KNEW she couldn't control MJ.

Oh she hated him soooooo bad lmfaooo he had her PANINI PRESSED

She couldn’t control MJ. He was bigger than the Presley’s. Still is to this day lol.

She says “I just don’t like him” like ma’am he married Lisa 30 years ago…. It’s time to LET IT GO! Priscilla is just salty as shit that Lisa was in love with him lmfao. Priscilla praises every other man she was with, publicly backs Lockwood who Lisa publicly called a pedophile!

Priscilla hated MJ so bad bc he was taking Lisa away from her. The more she was with MJ, the more independent she became, and the more she failed to disclose info to her. LMP was at one point the most famous woman around, because she was Michael’s wife.

She had what Priscilla never had. A husband who loved her 🤭 so she had to sabotage it. Riley literally confirmed it in an interview just yesterday I think. That it was Priscilla who was making Lisa paranoid that Michael didn’t love her/was using her etc.

The way she projects onto Michael lmao. Like ma’am, just because you chased around Elvis and used his name for fame and fortune etc doesn’t mean Michael did that. He didn’t need y’all’s fame lol he was far more famous and on a global scale.

The way that Lisa literally said she was never happier than when she was with Michael, too. That’s what does it for me. You know Priscilla was fucking SEETHING over it 🤣 like yeah, that’s right, your daughter loved him more than any other man. Cope!

Someone said on Twitter that Priscilla was probably mad that MJ was trying to pursue her daughter and not her 😭😭😭😭😭 how much you wanna bet there’s some truth to that, too? Priscilla always viewed Lisa as her weird rival when it came to romance and shit soooooo

And that video of them at that Elvis tribute too, it sends me! Priscilla reaches over and tries to hold Michael’s hand when he stands up for the fans and then Lisa yanks that bitches hand off her man 😭😭 BYEEE

Michael hated Priscilla and called her a witch LMFAOOOO

I swear Priscilla is in her own world cuz how is she gonna show up for some book promo and then start shit talking MJ when no one even asked? And then the fact that Lisa made Priscilla out to be the villain IN SAID BOOK but she wants to act like a savior? Why should any of us gaf what you say about Michael, Priscilla? Your own daughter said you let your bf RAPE her! Your own daughter said you were plotting how to physically harm yourself so you’d miscarry her!

Lisa deserved a better mother. Priscilla doesn’t even deserve the title of mother. And Michael deserved a better in-law. Even Elvis didn’t want her ass. She’s done nothing but leech off the Presley name and tried to drive Graceland to bankruptcy in the 70’s. She even tried to sue her own granddaughter over the rights to the estate. She’s nasty. Vile. Michael saw right through her from the jump.

Weird how all of the Jackson family say they liked Lisa and that Michael loved her. Nothing but praise and good wishes from Jackson’s camp. Funny how that works.

you know Priscilla hated to see this and she can stay mad forever about it cuz it was real, and they were in love and she will never change that

[acatinafancyhat]

Watched Chess Netherlands today because... well, I can 🙃 It was surprisingly not all horrible. Definitely flawed and problematic but it had some parts I really liked! Of course I had lots of thoughts again so here is me venting them. 99% sure no one else cares about Dutch Chess but what the hell, tumblr is for screaming into the void right? ✨️

Act I

- You can instantly tell this is a Dutch production because the championships take place in what looks like a school gym. I mean we do our rubiks cube tournaments there. Is fine for chess, no?

- Explaining chess to the audience bc that's what the show is really missing

- Many Svenska Vibes

- Anatoly with an i is the most Dutch Soviet Russian i've ever met. Just, no nonsense. 'go take care of my children woman.' Calling each other names is how we show affection <3

- I will say the boys (Anatoli's kids) playing chess during the opening is a nice touch

- Story of Chess also has very to the point lyrics. "chess requires reticence so u don't kill each other" see now this actually sets up the show real well :)

- Awkward humor no one laughs at ✅️

- Anatoli's kind of a downer

- Freddie's sort of charming but his relationship with Florence is gonna be garbage i can tell

- strike 1: ableism

- (honestly he just reminds me of every Dutch white guy on tv)

- strike 2: assault

- Florence is already so done with his shit good for her

- also "with me there, he is brilliant" tru tru

- Singing Nobody's Side while random people have a lil party behind her?

- oh it's an excuse for karaoke ONIB

-Are they really gonna do the whole song though do we really need that

-lol Freddie pushes karaoke guy off stage so he can finish the song. honey this is a little early in the show to be getting this drunk what are you doing she hasn't even left you yet

- Arbiter leads morning exercise... ok well why not

- No dancing during the chess game. It's cool we can just watch two guys play chess from a distance for a couple minutes. Fun times.

- Freddie sticks his gum under the table real subtle like he hasn't got multiple cameras pointed at him right now

- Actually on second thought i think the chess game might be better without the dancing. Characters are doing interesting things. The contrast between Anatoli sitting stiffly at the table while Freddie is prancing around fistfighting the cameras is Most Amusing :)

- Did he just try to make Anatoli's move for him omg 🤣

- Freddie @ arbiter "uh it might be time u keep things under control around here" and off he runs HE'S SUCH A LITTLE SHIT ngl i kinda love him here

- However Florence's defense of him just seems completely unreasonable considering toli literally just. sat there. the whole time.

- Anatolyi gets the 'i'm ridiculous' monologue like in Svenska

- 'Hey my people killed your people oops now let me sing a song in the language you probably don't remember and it's somehow romantic and not creepy or overstepping any boundaries at all :)'

- Running away from Molokov in a shittier version of Svenska. Meh. But again they are aware of the lack of embassies in and around Merano which I do appreciate bc i'm pedantic like that

- Freddie: hey what's she doing with that Russian

Freddie: hmmm idk

Freddie: they're definitely talking abt me tho 🤨

- Flo & toli have a healthy conversation about the fact that he just left his kids behind i support that!!

- However this timing/setting for Anthem sucks. He's just singing it to Florence. And it's literally about how he misses his family? Weak. This needs to be an epic declaration of love for his homeland to all the world not whining to your girlfriend. Ugh can't believe they fucking ruined Anthem!

- So far all of this strikes me as discount Svenska but without the investment in Flonatoly and the only thing it's really got going for it is a handful of good lines BUT we'll see about act 2...

Act II

- Why the fuck would you start your second act with Merchandisers?

- Nice audience interaction though, it doesn't completely not work

- But following it up with Heaven Help My Heart is hmmmmmm really not ideal pacing-wise.

- Freddie's woman verse is even more cringe in Dutch i can't accurately translate it but it's so..... yikes..... The word he uses instead of "woman" ("popje") literally means "little doll/puppet" (but with slightly different connotations). It's sometimes used as a term of endearment but in this scene it is very much derogatory and ew.

- "here I stand wondering / if I ever knew you / have I ever really known who you are?" I like this translation!

- Pity the Child pulls no punches (does it ever?) He's so pathetic, he's such an asshole, and as a teacher I weirdly feel this one (at one point he talks about how no one ever noticed him at school either and just... oof don't get me started). Also the desperate rapid-fire chess game he plays against himself in the musical break and during the final verse--that needs to be in more versions holy fuck go watch this bit it's GOOD!!

- The Deal but without a political angle. Fascinating.

- No

- no. no no no i hate this i hate this Freddie wouldn't sacrifice his game not even for Florence NO. CANCELED.

- Interestingly instead of honey/parner, Freddie uses the same word as in the woman verse when he's talking to Florence during The Deal but this time it's the endearment variant. That's a little bit problematic.

- Molokov's plan is still to bring Flo and Sveta together even though Anatoli is now supposed to win 🤷‍♂️

- Anatoli casually downs several shots of liquor (vodka?) during Soviet Machine. not sure this will help him win the game but at least he sleeps through Russian Guy screaming that final whoooooooo high note in his ear

- Florence tests Freddie's chair... demands they bring a different one... is she still working for him? idk. I'm guessing it's meant to be sweet but it just looks silly to me idk

- Fuck reverse I Know Him So Well honestly. "he wants me / no he wants me" boo fucking hoo. You two deserve each other.

- Oh! Oh! Talking Chess, yay! 😁

- Gosh this is actually really cute?!? Freddie literally just came to discuss this random chess gambit he came across and thought was interesting? Nothing even to do with their current game just 'hey found this thing i thought you might like and i like and can we be friends now i really like chess 😶'

- Unlike in Svenska and RAH, I actually don't know for sure who is going to win this game. They do a good job of making this really about chess in the end. I like it.

- Freddie reminding toli it's about chess even during their match now that is the freddie i came to see!

- He calmly sips his water as Sveta and Florence are physically removed from the premises

- It is Quite Unfortunate that this production hates women...

- Really they seem to only be here to get in the men's way. Ugh.

- I don't support any of the relationships except Freddie and Toli being pen pals and playing long distance chess for the rest of their lives.

- Ending feels a little OOC but still nice to see some healthy Freddie & Flo interaction for once 😌

tldr; not the worst production out there, worth watching if you've already seen Svenska and don't mind Freddie being the most likeable character. (okay likeable is not the right word he sucks but, you know. He reminds me of RAH Freddie but slightly more yike.) PTC and Talking Chess are highlights!

[trashmouth-richie]

HIH10

Eddie jokes, moving your shoulders into the perfect position he sees fit. “Alright b—Tooty, open your eyes.” 🥹😭🧡

‘Soul on fire and the barricade around his heart completely down, grass growing where they lay now, he is enamored by you. The smell of your hair, how tight you are squeezing him around the back of his neck. Your thighs clutching him. He’s a mess. Melting more than Frosty did on the warmest day of the year.’

He’s never been so hungry for affection in his entire life, and you were feeding him crumbs. Couldn’t you see he was on his knees begging, pleading for more?

‘What the hell would he want to do with you if there were so many other women, better looking, and definitely sexier— ready to be his flavor for the night? Being with Eddie was a joke and you were the punch line— why would a guy like him settle down with someone as vanilla as you?’ TOOTY! NO YOU’RE PERFECT.

He runs a hand through his hair and points back at the door to Benny’s, “I— I’ve never given a shit about any girl I’ve been with.” Okay Mr. Suave, chill.😂😂😂

Eddie had never been jealous of silverware before but he would give his left nut and his guitar away to be that lucky heated spoon for just one minute.

‘Eddie is gripping the counter tighter than an old woman gripping her life alert as she tumbles to the ground.’ LMAOOO NOT A LIFE ALERT LADY!!

Every line is memorized, the color is painted more beautifully than that asshole on tv painting sceneries of birds and rivers. NOT YOU COMING AT BOB😂😭

Placing the cinnamon rolls into the center of the warmed oven, you turn to find him behind you, silver Christmas ornament bulbs hanging from his nipple rings. “Think Walt would hire me to dance on stage for Christmas?” If Walt won’t the coven will.😂🤣

Eddie & Tooty & Wayne celebrating Christmas together? Our beloveds🥹

‘fingers clutching to the silky wrapped handles of the gift bag with Santa’s fat white ass climbing up into a chimney on the front.‘ 🤣🤣

The necklace is heavy, something weighing it down but you can’t be sure what it is, it’s not until you glance at his hands that you notice one of his rings is missing, the chunkiest of them all, the pig head is no longer on his middle finger, but around your neck instead. “There,” he announces in finality, his eyes dip to your lips, the necklace and back to your eyes, “aren’t you just the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” <- screaming, rolling on the floor kicking my feet up in the air….. I’m fine. 🥲

Thrashing on his guitar, Eddie starts the tinny opening to Metallica’s Wherever I May Roam, followed by Gareth beating into his drums. One of my all time favorite songs. 🖤

‘the bride is getting a piggyback ride from a balding man you recognize to be wait what? Wayne Munson, reliving his glory days and having the time of his life as her white veil is worn around his head, cigarette hung limply from his thin lips.’ OKAY WAYNE I SEE YOU 👏🏼

“this next one is for the biggest brat, pain in my ass, absolutely the most gorgeous girl I’ve ever known, we haven’t played this song in years, but I know it’s her favorite.” 😍😍😍

*The twins show up* Me: “These bitches…”

“this next one is for the biggest brat, pain in my ass, absolutely the most gorgeous girl I’ve ever known, we haven’t played this song in years, but I know it’s her favorite.” BITCH!!! MAN UP AND ASK HER!

Floating higher to the galaxy he swore he would take you to, tank full of gas, dancing you around in his arms on Saturn’s rings, diving head first into Jupiter’s springs. <- ABSOLUTE FAVORITE!!

GAH DAAAAAMN. I’m screamin’…. Knocked this chapter out of the park! So much fluff followed by a tiny bit of angst and just a smidge of spice 😮‍💨🔥…. When those bimbos showed up 😤 BUT ANYWAY, I’m so excited for next chapter! Our idiots deserve the absolute best! I can’t wait for Eddie to show her how a real man treats his woman. 😍 Obsessed with this story and you!!🧡

B I love you.

HIH 9

I was dying laughing writing Wayne giving the bride a piggyback ride 🤣

[karizard-ao3]

Ranma and Eren's conversations! 😂 Eren telling Ranma to just traumatize his dad back lol!

Do you think Ranma and Mikasa would bond over their other half always getting kidnapped? 🤣

I LOVE THE CROSSOVER SO MUCH!

Um, I love the idea of Ranma and Mikasa bonding over that lol. I imagine she’s got a pretty low opinion of him because she’s an Akane shooter and he’s got all those fiancees hanging around and keeps saying Akane, who is far less ripped than Mikasa, is built like a brick. So, she barely talks to Ranma, just gives him those cold-eyed stares she’s got down so well, and he’s a little scared of her because she’s not some over-the-top foe he can confront. She won’t even spar with him because she says it wouldn’t be enough of a challenge. Basically, they’re only friends by association. Until…

BEGIN SCENE!

“Akane!” Ranma screamed as the Martial Arts Used Car Salesman bounded away with her under one arm and Eren under the other.

“Ranma!” she called back.

“Goddamnit!” came Eren’s voice, floating back across the increasing distance.

“Don’t worry, Mikasa! I’ll get them back!” said Ranma, clenching his fist and turning to where Mikasa had been standing. The patch of grass was empty now. Damn it! Had she been swiped, too? Ranma was about to launch himself onto the roof to see if he could get a better view when he spotted her running back out of the house, her arms full of the weird jumping around gear she had arrived in.

“I can’t believe this is happening again!” she complained as she quickly started strapping into her harness.

Ranma faltered. This was the most she had ever said to him. “Does… Does Eren get kidnapped a lot?” he asked.

“Like every other month!” said Mikasa, testing her equipment.

“Same with Akane!” said Ranma.

Mikasa looked up at him, surprised.

“I really hate it,” Ranma continued. “I like to keep her where I can see her, where I know she’s safe. …Or, I would feel that way if I cared. Which I don’t!”

Mikasa rolled her eyes. “Just stay here. I’ll get them myself, then.”

“No!” said Ranma, reaching out to stop her as she prepared to leap away. She turned to look at him, raising an eyebrow. Ranma blushed, tapping the tips of his index fingers together. “I mean… I want to get her–them–back, too.”

Mikas studied him for a moment. “We’ll get farther faster if we use my ODM gear,” she said. “Get on my back!”

“Right!” said Ranma.

“Nihao, Ranma! Why are you letting another woman piggyback you?” shouted Shampoo*, crashing through the wall that surrounded the dojo on her bike.

Mikasa pulled out one of her blades and pointed it at Shampoo. “We’re in the middle of something. Go home,” she ordered, bristling with battle aura. “Or suffer the consequences.”

Shampoo turned her bike around. “I’m going because I want to, not because you told me to,” she said, pedaling away as fast as she could. Ranma could understand how she felt. He kind of wanted to run away from Mikasa, too. Instead, he let her hoist him onto her back and shoot into the air with him.

“Why doesn’t Eren just turn into a Titan?” he asked.

“Akane would get caught in the blast,” said Mikasa. “He could do it if she could wiggle free.”

“She’s really feisty,” said Ranma. “I’ll bet she’s trying right now.”

Mikasa glanced over her shoulder at him. “So she really gets kidnapped a lot, huh?”

“All the time!” he said. “Eren, too?”

“Yup.”

“You must have a lot of enemies,” said Ranma. “Either that or a lot of suitors. Or he does. How often is his kidnapping marriage related?”

“Almost never,” said Mikasa.

“Mmm,” said Ranma. “Must be nice.”

END SCENE

And then they are cool with each other! 😂

*I'm sorry, I refuse to be a party to that awful broken English they give her– Apparently in the original Japanese, she doesn’t speak badly, she just speaks a very old-fashioned, formal version of the language! I can’t confirm, but that’s what I’ve heard. I would much rather Shampoo be running around saying thee and thou, personally, so I’m disappointed that’s not what we got in English.

[gamergirl2million]

Last night, I did my first ever DnD campaign (WitchLight Carnival)…I was not disappointed! It was hilarious! Here’s how it went down:

Cast:

Lofty - A gnome barbarian that rides a chicken; lost her weapon

Kal - a high elf paladin; lost his loved one and their right hand (not physically, but their hands were backwards lol)

Miarra - a sorcerer that is quite quirky; lost a memoir of her house and family that is no longer there

Zeno - a anxious tiefling bard; lost his teddy bear

Lily - a mimic warlock child; lost her hat

Amanda(me) - a half-elf rogue that is wild; lost her way to her pack/family (she was raised by wolves)

Sequence of events (session 0):

1. Everyone is separated (we never met before this) and heading towards the ticket booth; Miarra and Zeno get curious about Lofty riding chicken, but upon approaching she sees them as threat and draws weapon

2. Kal kidnaps Lily, but almost gets shanked; Suddenly employees appear and say: “cease the violence…or lose again.”

3. Everyone gets random effect from receiving a ticket:

Lofty - must now carry and protect a pumpkin like a previous egg

Kal, Lily, & Miarra - must now get distracted by tree and say “oh look a tree!”

Zeno & Amanda - must now say “I like unicorns!” Every chance they get

4. Go to lost and found and find it FULL of missing children posters

5. Talking Lion tasks us to make sure their human brother doesn’t get lost when he runs away

6. Amanda gets lost herself because she went alone lol

7. Rest of the group returns child and lion reveals they lost their cub and gifts them a mirror orb (the cubs favorite toy)

8. They realize Amanda is missing and go find her at the Mystery Mines

9. Random effect from catching seeds- can’t remember everyone’s random effect, but Amanda gets a 1d8 for an ability check of her choice (I rolled an 8 on a 1d8 lol)

10. Miraha gets lost and ends up getting swarmed by enemies IN THE FOREST OUTSIDE THE CARNIVAL

11. Kal almost dies but Zeno saves them

12. DM levels us up (we now level 2 baby)and lets us get our health back up through fairy candy

13. Go to the big performance

14. Sneak into the backstage area and end up getting dressed up like clowns

15. Everyone does performances and the crowd goes wild…meanwhile Amanda freezes

16. Lily gets a NAT 20 at throwing cream pie at Amanda and she gives chase

17. Kal and Lily notice a man and woman conversing in the rafters

18. Lily fails to climb rafters and Amanda shakes the child

19. Everyone takes their bow and Kal chastises Amanda

20. They all decided to keep their costumes and got stealth advantage…Amanda did not, but she already had +8 to stealth because rogue

21. We end up going to the staff area and overhear Mr. Light (ringmaster at the event) and Mr. Witch (man in the rafters) talking

22. Says stuff about needing to appease someone and Mr. Witch mentions he thought some people saw him

23. They come out and Amanda slinks into shadows while the others talk to the men

24. KAL SUCCESSFULLY FLIRTS WITH MR. LIGHT (thanks to Zeno’s bardic inspiration) AND HE TELLS KAL TO MEET HIM AT THE BAR

25. Lily asks Mr. Witch about his conversation with the woman, he proceeds to freeze time and tell her: “some things are out of our control”

26. We go to bar

27. SEXY FISHNET LEG APPEARS FROM SEDUCTIVE LOOKING BOOTH AND BECKONS KAL OVER

28. ONLY AMANDA AND KAL NOTICES AND KAL GOES TO [Fade to Black] WITH MR. LIGHT (Amanda is confused on humanoids mating rituals)

29. Amanda tries being social (and fails miserably but doesn’t notice) and asks the group what they lost

(Also- Kal tells them AFTER he comes out disheveled from the booth…Amanda made the comment of “I hope the mating ritual was successful and you receive offspring” lmao)

30. We go to the Crowning of the Monarch Queen (we level up to 3 baby)

31. KAL WINS BY BEING A MAN WHORE!!!🤣

32. Kal goes up to be crowned…but an explosion happens

33. A hand comes out from the smoke (same hand to the one of the lady in the rafters) and, in response to Mr. Light and Mr. Witch’s plead that they did all they could to please her, she says it was not enough

34. All the children of the carnival vanish and…

TO BE CONTINUED IN THE COMBINED CAMPAIGN!!!