#run tracker review

[zepskies]

A Line and a Half

Pairing: Russell Shaw x F. Reader

Summary: When Dory’s eldest brother comes to visit her at Wyoming University, you don’t know quite what to make of Russell Shaw. But he knows exactly what he wants to make of you.

AN: Okay, here’s my first toe-dip into the world of Tracker with Russell Shaw! 1x12 gave me too many ideas not to explore this intriguing character. This is set before episode 12, but I have a little series I want to sketch out that will continue after this one-shot, so think of this as a “Part 1,” if you will. 😉

Word Count: 3.2K

Tags/Warnings: A kind of “meet cute,” attempts at flirting, and hints of setup for more to come…

You watched, silently simmering, as Dr. Goldstein added yet another packet of internship applications from his graduate students onto your desk.

Applicants that he, as the History Department Chairman, was supposed to review himself. Instead, he’d been adding these hours quite literally onto your desk. 

“If you could review these for me as well, sweetheart. Thank you,” he said. “Get ‘em back to me by Thursday, okay?”

As a Professor of History with two doctorates in your name, you once again grated internally at sweetheart, but you tried to keep that cringe off your face as well.

Goldstein barely even met your eyes when he dropped off his burden, and then aimed to leave your office.

“Uh, Paul,” you called out, raising a finger. You stood from your desk as quickly as you could in your pencil skirt, but the man was already out the door. You followed him out, your heels clacking on the tile floor. 

Damn it. Knew I should’ve gone with pants, you said, continuing to hasten after your boss.

“Paul! Just a second,” you said. That finally managed to turn the man’s head off of his phone. He glanced at you while checking his watch.

“About the internship applications…and your midterm exam essays for that matter. Don’t you think—” you started to say, but the man spoke over you.

“I’m sorry, I’ve got to run. Meeting my massage therapist at noon,” he said, and rolled a seemingly stiff shoulder under his tailored blazer. “Something’s just not right here after my trip to Cali last weekend. I don’t know what I did, pulled muscle or something. But hey, they do say parasailing is a sport.”

You quirked a brow. “Do they?”

You weren’t sure that being strapped into a parachute for a nice air glide over the Pacific counted as a sport.

Goldstein shrugged at your question and he kept walking down the hall. Though he turned back to toss you a pointed finger.

“Need those by Thursday. Thanks, you’re the best,” he said.

You watched him go, as proverbial steam began to escape through your ears. Slowly you pivoted on your heels, and you went back to your office. You grimaced at the large stack of applications. You were pretty sure he padded them with an extra section of midterm exams.

Tapping your nails on your desk, you grabbed your phone next to your desktop and checked the time. 11:30 a.m.

Screw it. I’m going to lunch, you thought.

Dory had to be out of her Intro Physics class by now, which meant she’d be in her office, ready for you to drop in on her a little early. You took up your purse and almost made it out the door…but at the last moment, your anal brain made you turn back to grab a shoulder bag and the pile of applications. Maybe you could knock out a few during lunch.

Friggin’ doormat, as your brother would say. Laughing at you, probably.

You rolled your eyes and headed back out the door with your haul of papers, purse, work bag, and keys, locking your office behind you.

Why, oh why did the Sciences building have to be on the other side of campus?

It was damn near a mile walk from your Humanities building over to Dory’s office on the second floor. Your hands were laden with packets that couldn’t be contained by your heavy work bag, your purse was slipping off your shoulder, and these heels were killing your feet.

It was a miracle you and Dory had ever met on this campus. On your first day of teaching, you’d of course been hopelessly lost. Somehow you ended up at the tail-end of one of her classes in one of the science auditoriums.

She’d been gracious enough to help you, and even walked you all the way to the Humanities building so you could find your World History class before the students decided to just get up and leave. (And after fifteen minutes, they very well would.)

That day, she became your first real friend at Wyoming University. In the three years since, she’d become your best friend.

And now, her door was mercifully open halfway. You pushed it open and stumbled just a little from the transition of tile to carpet inside her office. Your papers nearly flew from your hands, so you struggled to right yourself and contain them all back into the semblance of neatness.

“Hey, girl. You better be ready for lunch because Jesus fucking Christ. Goldstein’s up my ass again and all I’ve had today is a crusty donut from the teacher’s lounge, which I’m pretty sure was stale,” you said, with your brows furrowed in frustration.

When you finally looked up from your struggles, you realized that Dory wasn’t alone. She smiled at you in amusement, sitting at her desk beside a man who made you pause. Your eyes widened.

He was leaning casually with an elbow propped up on her desk, dressed in jeans and a worn, pale green jacket—a good match for his eyes. He looked a little rugged for Dory’s tastes, but you couldn’t fault her, with the cut of that bearded jaw, and the smile raising the corners of his lips.

“Hey,” Dory laughed. “I see you’re having a good day.”

You bit your lip in embarrassment, probably smudging your lipstick.

“I’m so sorry. I should’ve knocked first,” you said, though you could see she seemed to be having an actual good day. Office picnic? Or maybe the handsome stranger was getting ready to take her out.

Dory just waved you in. She stood and set a hand on her companion’s shoulder, and he got up along with her.

“It’s okay. This is my brother, Russell,” she said, and she introduced you in kind.

“Well, hi there,” he said. He subtly took you in with his eyes as he held out his hand. Already you felt your face heating up with more than just embarrassment.

You were a bit shocked as well, to say the least. Dory had told you some…interesting things about her family, including the fact that she had two older brothers. You wondered which one this was, the middle child, or the eldest.

“Hi! Sorry. Again. Nice to meet you,” you said. You tried to hold your hand out to reach his, but a few papers began to spill out. You clutched at them on reflex, but Russell drew in quickly to help you.

“Got yourself a load there,” he said. You agreed with an awkward laugh and a shrug of your shoulders.

“My boss’s idea of extra credit,” you said wryly.

“You can set it down on that chair over there,” Dory said, pointing to one against the back wall, next to a tall filing cabinet.

You and Russell meandered over and managed to set down the stack without casualty. You were able to pull up the straps of your bag and your purse from falling off your shoulder and give him a grateful look.

“Thanks,” you said.

“No problem,” he said, giving you an easy smile back. “I actually crashed in unannounced, so if you two wanna to head to lunch, you go right ahead.”

“Uh, no. I haven’t seen you in months! You should come with us,” Dory said. She grabbed her purse to join you and Russell by the door.

You raised your hands in placation. “Oh, I wouldn’t want to intrude, especially if it’s been a while since you’ve seen each other. You guys should catch up.”

Dory shook her head and grabbed your hand.

“Uh, uh. I want to hear the latest on Paul’s bullshit, and why you’re carrying half your office across campus. Let’s go,” she said, and gestured at your work bag. “Leave that here. You’re gonna eat and talk to me. No working involved.”

You laughed, but you agreed to her cajoling. With another glance at her brother, and those green eyes that seemed to be dancing, you joined them for lunch.

The three of you ended up at a diner that you and Dory frequented at least once a week. The food was good, the service was quick, and it was close to campus. Wins all around. Russell seemed to be enjoying himself, as he hummed in delight after the very first bite of his Philly cheesesteak.

“Sriracha on fries, huh?” you remarked, gesturing at the man’s plate. Your brow was quirked, but he shot you a smile.

“I said avert your eyes,” he teased. “Don’t knock it ‘til you try it, sweetheart.”

Ugh. Another sweethearting man. You narrowed your own eyes at him a bit. He caught the look and raised a hand in defense (the one that wasn’t holding his cheesesteak).

“Uh oh. What’d I do?” he asked.

“You gave her some PTSD,” Dory said with a laugh. “Dr. Goldstein likes to sugar coat his demands with sexism.”

Russell noted your souring look with apology. You’d just finished recounting your morning for your friend, and recapping years of “sugar-coated demands” for Russell.

“Why don’t you just tell him to cram it up his…uh…” he paused. Seeing his little sister’s look of amusement, he amended. “Or you know, stuff it.”

A smile twitched at your lips. “Oh, believe me, I’d love to tell him to stuff it. But he’s technically my boss, and the department chair. Even though I’ve basically been doing his job for two years now.”

“Well, that sucks,” Russell said. “And I feel for ya. I’ve had my share of shitty bosses in my time.”

You sighed and accepted his commiseration with a nod.

It wasn’t fair, but Goldstein planned to retire early in a few years. Must be nice.

When he did, it would make you the most likely candidate to replace him as department chair. The way you saw it, this was giving you plenty of practice before you (hopefully) inherited the position.

Anyway, you shook your head. You didn’t want to talk about it anymore. You were more curious about one Russell Shaw. You now knew he was an army vet, and he carried himself like one. Calm, controlled, even though his smiles came easy. His tousled hair and beard, while well-trimmed and neat, still gave him a roguish quality.

“So let me guess. You’re…the eldest?” you asked. You blotted at your mouth with a napkin, having finished your chicken panini.

Russell treated you to another one of those smiles, though this one held a hint of more.

“Guilty. Though I’m the handsome one,” he said with a wink.

You found yourself smiling behind your napkin.

“I’m sure,” you replied.

Dory rolled her eyes. “Don’t mind him. Apparently my brother’s an incorrigible flirt.”

He chuckled and sipped at his beer, but then he grimaced.

“Ech. Friggin’ weak,” he said. “I brew better than this outta the trunk of my car.”

 You raised a brow at that. “You make your own beer?”

“Damn straight,” he said. His gaze turned a hint more playful. “Next time I’ll bring you some. You can tell me what you think.”

You shared a telling look with Dory.

“Next time, huh?” you asked.

“Sure,” he inclined his head. “I pop into town from time to time. Gotta check in and pester my little sister, the physics professor.” 

He laid a hand on Dory’s shoulder, squeezing warmly. You could see the pride in his eyes, and it warmed you as well.

She turned to him with a smile, reaching up to cover his hand with hers.

“You don’t pester me. I’d love it if I got to see you more often,” she said.

“Ah, I know, I’m sorry,” he said, releasing her. “My job’s got me all over the place. But I’ll be here for a week or so on this gig.”

That intrigued you. “What do you do for work?”

“Ah, well, you could say I'm a contractor. Private security mainly,” said Russell. His shoulders shifted as he became a little more guarded, you noticed. “My company connects me with the client for as long as the job lasts. Could be a few months, sometimes a few days, depending.”

“Oh, wow. Do you live here in Wyoming?” you asked. He paused, but tilted his head a little, back and forth as he considered your question.

“I kinda bounce around,” he said. “Just go from one job to the next. Sounds a bit unorthodox, I know, but it’s a living.”

“Interesting,” you nodded, but inside, you thought that sounded like a hard way to live.

Unstable…and lonely. 

“You know, it’s amazing how much you and Colter have in common,” Dory said. She folded her hands on the table and met her brother with a pointed look.

He huffed in response, though he glanced at you, then back at his sister. As if he was saying, You really want to do this now?

Dory had told you before that Colter was a “rewardist,” or some kind of bounty hunter. The nature of his work kept him busy, and seemingly too busy for his sister. But you also sensed there was an edgier history here.

For the first time, you felt like you were intruding in a moment between brother and sister that went beyond words.

After a moment, Russell shook his head.

“Look, I tried with him, all right? He won’t talk to me,” he said. He went back to eating, polishing off his fries. He offered you one that was half-smothered in sriracha.

“Come on. Live on the edge with me,” he teased.

You eyed the sauce-covered fry in distaste, but after glancing up at his more playful smile, you accepted his offer. You chewed in contemplation, and found that the tangy hint of kick wasn’t so bad. 

“Eh? Eeeh? Delicious, am I right?” he said, his hands going wide.

You rolled your eyes, but you nodded in agreement.

“It’s all right,” you replied.

“Yes!” Russell’s hands swept up higher, like he was celebrating a touchdown. "See, I told ya."

You couldn’t help but laugh. Dory shook her head fondly and gave him a clean napkin for the bit of schmutz she spotted at the corner of his mouth.

“Here, wipe your sriracha face.”

“You really don’t have to,” you said, as Russell helped you gather your stack of papers and slung your work bag over his shoulder.

“No, no. I’m a bonafide gentleman. Ain’t that right, D?” he asked his sister. She barely resisted the urge to roll her eyes again, but she did give you a knowing smile.

“Oh, his intentions are pure,” she said.

 And by that, you both understood her meaning. His intentions couldn’t be any clearer than a mallet over the head, but you kind of found it endearing.

This man really carried your stuff from the Sciences building across the entire campus to your office. All the while, he asked you about how you and Dory met, the kinds of things you two did together, and if you thought she was happy working here.

You had a feeling he was trying to learn more about his sister’s life. On one hand, it was rather sweet. On the other, it made you realize that there was distance in this family, both literal and figurative. You were glad to hear that Russell, at least, was trying to bridge that gap with his sister. Dory deserved to have more of that in her life.

As you explained to Russell while you led him down the hall to your office, your friendship with her had just…clicked. From the very beginning.

“Dory, you know. She’s more than kind,” you said. “She’s a real one. I can rely on her, even when I can’t rely on my own family.”

Russell hummed at that. “That sounds like a story.”

“Yeah,” you said, glancing away for a moment. You smiled and met his gaze once more. “Maybe one for another time.”

“So you’re on board with a ‘next time.’ Good to know,” Russell remarked. Your smile deepened.

It was good timing when you two finally reached your office. You unlocked it and let him inside, so he could set down your bag, and the god-forsaken stack of internship applications back onto your desk. You’d probably be stuck here working late on those.

“Well, thank you so much. You really didn’t have to schlep for me,” you said.

When you turned, Russell was a bit close. Not uncomfortably so, but enough to make a trill of something zip up your spine. You smelled more intensely his cologne, woodsy and warm. Looking up at him, you once again found his smile.

“It’s no problem,” he said, but his eyes met yours for a moment, as if he lost his train of thought.

“What?” you asked, a bit nervous.

“Anybody ever tell you, you got soulful eyes?” he asked.

It took your brain a second or two to compute, but when his words registered, you had to laugh. You held it behind your hand, while the other went to steady yourself on your desk.

 “Well, that’s a line if I’ve ever heard one,” you said, shading your “soulful” eyes with a hand.

You didn’t know it, but Russell’s face warmed in slight embarrassment. He recovered though, taking in your pretty laugh, and the shade of your hair, let loose around your shoulders, and yes, your eyes, when you let him see them again.

If he hadn’t known before, now he was convinced.

He wanted to see more of you before he left town.

“Hey, now that was 100% genuine,” Russell said, but his grin spoke volumes. When your mirth died down, he scratched the back of his head.

“Okay, cards on the table. Would you be interested in grabbing a drink with me sometime?” he asked.

You took in a breath at that. You actually did consider his offer, because homebrew and sriracha fries be damned, there was something more to him. It was lying in wait, behind those eyes that were drawing you in.

However, this was also a man whose job basically made him a nomad. It didn’t exactly scream relationship material.

Which only left the alternative: something…casual.

You just didn’t know if that alternative was such a good idea. Not with your best friend’s brother.

“Just a drink. No frills, no more grilling you about my sister,” Russell said, breaking you from your deliberation. He gestured a hand between the two of you. “Just this. You and me.”

Eventually, you sighed. Your lips raised into a more genuine smile.

“Sometime, huh?” you asked.

He smiled back. “Tonight?”

You hesitated, but despite your better judgment, you nodded before you could change your mind. You still weren’t sure what to make of this guy, but you were willing to find out.

“Sure,” you said. “Howley’s at eight?”

“Well, all right,” Russell said.

He surprised you by sweeping up your hand into his. You looked up at him, curious, but not wary. Anticipation tingled down your spine.

He pressed his lips to the back of your hand. Soft shock made your eyes widen as you blushed, feeling the subtle graze of his beard against your skin.

Who is this guy, Cary Grant? you thought.

But when he pulled away, you had to remind yourself to breathe. Again, you caught sight of his cheeky grin.   

“See you tonight,” he said.

AN: He is beauty he is grace, he is Mr. Sriracha Face. 😆

Let me know if you guys liked this! 💜 It's my first time writing a character based solely on one episode, but next up is a series that will continue this one-shot. It's called Every Second Counts.

Next Time in Part 1:

“Are you absolutely sure?” you asked, with your hands on your hips. 

You wanted no miscommunication here, no read-between-the-lines mishaps, no subtext or nuance to bite you in the ass later. So here you stood in the middle of your best friend’s office, still on the Wyoming University campus after your last class.

Dory had to laugh at you. She pushed away from her desk and threw her hands up.

“Yes, for the love of God, you can grab a drink with my brother,” she said.

▶️ Keep Reading: Part 1

Ko-Fi Me ☕

Russell Shaw Masterlist

Main Masterlist

Russell S. Tag List:

@kazsrm67 @letheatheodore @agothwithheavysetmakeup @jacklesbrainworms @foxyjwls007

@wincastifer @ades106 @iamsapphine @simpforbuckyb @roseblue373

@brianochka @branj19 @hazel-eye-coffee-shop-girl-blog @globetrotter28 @charmed-asylum

@waywardxwords @deanwinchestersgirl87 @this-is-me19 @rachiem4-blog @sweettimelady

@leigh70 @clinicallydepresso @xiphoidbones @skoveu @nyotamalfoy

@kmc1989 @jackles010378 @emily-winchester @waynes-multiverse @jessjad

@my-stories-vault @deans-spinster-witch @syrma-sensei @stellasfictionalworld @ultimatecin73

@jesllianaquilesrolonsworld @pieandmonsters @lhymer1995 @taehyungxjungkookistaekook @lovelystoriesaj

@nicksalchemy1 @spnwoman @onlyangel-444 @sexyvixen7 @illicithallways

@wolkenprinzessin007 @alwaystiredandconfused @carpenterswife @cheynovak @grilledcheeseandtomato

[agirlwithglam]

S.M.A.R.T goals:

How to set and achieve your goals

What does SMART stand for?

S - specific. don't just set vague goals like "i wanna get fit" or "i wanna get abs". how are you gonna know when/ where to start? if you want to get fit: your goal could be "go to the gym for 30 mins everyday" or "i want to run 5k in under 30 mins". whatever works for you. some other examples: -> if your big goal is to get high marks on your next test: your "mini" goals/ steps should be to study everyday for at least 30-60mins. -> if your big goal is to get money/ become rich: your steps/ mini goals should be to save $___ daily first. and also figure out a way you can make a mini business/ get a job.

M - measurable. make sure that your goals are measurable- meaning that you should be able to track them. some examples: -> if your goal is to read more: then create or find a habit tracker or something so everyday when you read, you can mark it down for that day. ! recommended resource: James Clear's habit tracker journal- you can find it on amazon.

A - Achievable keep your goals realistic and attainable. if you know you dont have the time/ energy to read a whole book in 1 week, dont do it- otherwise you'll get easily discouraged. the goldilocks principle: don't make it too easy, where it doesn't give you a challenge, but don't make it too hard either, otherwise you'll get easily discouraged.

R - Relevant basically a WHY. why do you want/ need to accomplish this goal? have a motivation which drives you. make sure your goal is relevant to you in some sort of way. example: -> if you want to learn a language such as spanish, why do you wanna learn it? because you want to travel to Spain one day? to be able to communicate with someone? even if the purpose is as simple as "wanting to be bilingual cus it makes me feel cool and impressive" - if that motivates you, then go ahead!

T - time bound your goals need to have some sort of deadline or urgency attached to it- otherwise you could take all the time you want to start and procrastinate as much as you want. having a deadline for the goal will motivate you to take action sooner, than later.

how to use SMART goals effectively:

decide on the goal. (something that you actually need/ want to accomplish.)

break it down into smaller steps. (very small. so small that you can start working on whatever it is NOW.) you want to get high marks on your test? lets break it down. study 30 mins everyday -> walk to desk -> get material out -> identify what you need to study -> find your weaker topics & write it out -> create a planner or smth -> start studying. // need help? find videos online, go thru material again, find study tips, etc.

write them down. (helps you stay accountable. also people who write their goals down are 42% more likely to achieve them than people who don't write it down.)

create an action plan. (relates to the 2nd point. outline the necessary steps to take, identify resources, set milestones, plan for potential obstacles.)

monitor and evaluate progress. (regularly review your goals, mistakes, and progress. what could you do better to be more efficient and quicker? how can you learn from your mistakes?)

stay committed and flexible. (you really need to be committed to achieve the goals, you shouldn't just start off super excited, doing great in the first week then slacking off. you've made a commitment to YOURSELF. respect yourself enough to stick to it! but also be flexible with your goals. if you're reeeallyy not able to do it one day, plan to do a bit more the next day. stay focussed and don't get discouraged by setbacks.)

celebrate achievements. (recognise when you've hit a major milestone, and celebrate it! this helps you maintain motivation and a sense of accomplishment. and reward yourself!!)

random additional tips:

visualisation. (such a strong form of manifestation. everyday visualise yourself with your goals, feeling all the emotions and thoughts that come with it! visualisation can also really boost your motivation and drive to achieve it.)

PRIORITIES. (remember that also, all goals aren't equally important. prioritise the ones that really matter. this doesn't mean that you can't focus on the other goals, just make sure the ones that need more attention, get more attention.)

positive language. (use kind and encouraging words towards yourself. know and understand that you are that girl who can achieve ANYTHING she sets her mind to.)

seek support. (ask friends and family or a mentor for help. if you want, be careful tho, share your goals with them to help you stay accountable. and if you know a person who's achieved your goals, GET ADVICE FROM THEM! where better to get advice from than someone who's been through what you're going through?)

stay organised. (self explanatory. just stay organised. messy space = messy mind. clean space = clean mind.)

maintain balance. (of course your goals are important, but so is the age you're currently at. especially if you're a teenage, DONT WASTE THESE YEARS!! get out of the house! make friends! go to parties! LIVE LIFE TO ITS FULLEST. also make sure that you get the adequate rest needed!)

write about your journey. (write about the struggles, the obstacles, how you overcame them, insights you got on this journey, etc. trust me, it'll be so interesting and helpful to read when you're older.)

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Big Tech disrupted disruption

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/02/08/permanent-overlords/#republicans-want-to-defund-the-police

Before "disruption" turned into a punchline, it was a genuinely exciting idea. Using technology, we could connect people to one another and allow them to collaborate, share, and cooperate to make great things happen.

It's easy (and valid) to dismiss the "disruption" of Uber, which "disrupted" taxis and transit by losing $31b worth of Saudi royal money in a bid to collapse the world's rival transportation system, while quietly promising its investors that it would someday have pricing power as a monopoly, and would attain profit through price-gouging and wage-theft.

Uber's disruption story was wreathed in bullshit: lies about the "independence" of its drivers, about the imminence of self-driving taxis, about the impact that replacing buses and subways with millions of circling, empty cars would have on traffic congestion. There were and are plenty of problems with traditional taxis and transit, but Uber magnified these problems, under cover of "disrupting" them away.

But there are other feats of high-tech disruption that were and are genuinely transformative – Wikipedia, GNU/Linux, RSS, and more. These disruptive technologies altered the balance of power between powerful institutions and the businesses, communities and individuals they dominated, in ways that have proven both beneficial and durable.

When we speak of commercial disruption today, we usually mean a tech company disrupting a non-tech company. Tinder disrupts singles bars. Netflix disrupts Blockbuster. Airbnb disrupts Marriott.

But the history of "disruption" features far more examples of tech companies disrupting other tech companies: DEC disrupts IBM. Netscape disrupts Microsoft. Google disrupts Yahoo. Nokia disrupts Kodak, sure – but then Apple disrupts Nokia. It's only natural that the businesses most vulnerable to digital disruption are other digital businesses.

And yet…disruption is nowhere to be seen when it comes to the tech sector itself. Five giant companies have been running the show for more than a decade. A couple of these companies (Apple, Microsoft) are Gen-Xers, having been born in the 70s, then there's a couple of Millennials (Amazon, Google), and that one Gen-Z kid (Facebook). Big Tech shows no sign of being disrupted, despite the continuous enshittification of their core products and services. How can this be? Has Big Tech disrupted disruption itself?

That's the contention of "Coopting Disruption," a new paper from two law profs: Mark Lemley (Stanford) and Matthew Wansley (Yeshiva U):

https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=4713845

The paper opens with a review of the literature on disruption. Big companies have some major advantages: they've got people and infrastructure they can leverage to bring new products to market more cheaply than startups. They've got existing relationships with suppliers, distributors and customers. People trust them.

Diversified, monopolistic companies are also able to capture "involuntary spillovers": when Google spends money on AI for image recognition, it can improve Google Photos, YouTube, Android, Search, Maps and many other products. A startup with just one product can't capitalize on these spillovers in the same way, so it doesn't have the same incentives to spend big on R&D.

Finally, big companies have access to cheap money. They get better credit terms from lenders, they can float bonds, they can tap the public markets, or just spend their own profits on R&D. They can also afford to take a long view, because they're not tied to VCs whose funds turn over every 5-10 years. Big companies get cheap money, play a long game, pay less to innovate and get more out of innovation.

But those advantages are swamped by the disadvantages of incumbency, all the various curses of bigness. Take Arrow's "replacement effect": new companies that compete with incumbents drive down the incumbents' prices and tempt their customers away. But an incumbent that buys a disruptive new company can just shut it down, and whittle down its ideas to "sustaining innovation" (small improvements to existing products), killing "disruptive innovation" (major changes that make the existing products obsolete).

Arrow's Replacement Effect also comes into play before a new product even exists. An incumbent that allows a rival to do R&D that would eventually disrupt its product is at risk; but if the incumbent buys this pre-product, R&D-heavy startup, it can turn the research to sustaining innovation and defund any disruptive innovation.

Arrow asks us to look at the innovation question from the point of view of the company as a whole. Clayton Christensen's "Innovator's Dilemma" looks at the motivations of individual decision-makers in large, successful companies. These individuals don't want to disrupt their own business, because that will render some part of their own company obsolete (perhaps their own division!). They also don't want to radically change their customers' businesses, because those customers would also face negative effects from disruption.

A startup, by contrast, has no existing successful divisions and no giant customers to safeguard. They have nothing to lose and everything to gain from disruption. Where a large company has no way for individual employees to initiate major changes in corporate strategy, a startup has fewer hops between employees and management. What's more, a startup that rewards an employee's good idea with a stock-grant ties that employee's future finances to the outcome of that idea – while a giant corporation's stock bonuses are only incidentally tied to the ideas of any individual worker.

Big companies are where good ideas go to die. If a big company passes on its employees' cool, disruptive ideas, that's the end of the story for that idea. But even if 100 VCs pass on a startup's cool idea and only one VC funds it, the startup still gets to pursue that idea. In startup land, a good idea gets lots of chances – in a big company, it only gets one.

Given how innately disruptable tech companies are, given how hard it is for big companies to innovate, and given how little innovation we've gotten from Big Tech, how is it that the tech giants haven't been disrupted?

The authors propose a four-step program for the would-be Tech Baron hoping to defend their turf from disruption.

First, gather information about startups that might develop disruptive technologies and steer them away from competing with you, by investing in them or partnering with them.

Second, cut off any would-be competitor's supply of resources they need to develop a disruptive product that challenges your own.

Third, convince the government to pass regulations that big, established companies can comply with but that are business-killing challenges for small competitors.

Finally, buy up any company that resists your steering, succeeds despite your resource war, and escapes the compliance moats of regulation that favors incumbents.

Then: kill those companies.

The authors proceed to show that all four tactics are in play today. Big Tech companies operate their own VC funds, which means they get a look at every promising company in the field, even if they don't want to invest in them. Big Tech companies are also awash in money and their "rival" VCs know it, and so financial VCs and Big Tech collude to fund potential disruptors and then sell them to Big Tech companies as "aqui-hires" that see the disruption neutralized.

On resources, the authors focus on data, and how companies like Facebook have explicit policies of only permitting companies they don't see as potential disruptors to access Facebook data. They reproduce internal Facebook strategy memos that divide potential platform users into "existing competitors, possible future competitors, [or] developers that we have alignment with on business models." These categories allow Facebook to decide which companies are capable of developing disruptive products and which ones aren't. For example, Amazon – which doesn't compete with Facebook – is allowed to access FB data to target shoppers. But Messageme, a startup, was cut off from Facebook as soon as management perceived them as a future rival. Ironically – but unsurprisingly – Facebook spins these policies as pro-privacy, not anti-competitive.

These data policies cast a long shadow. They don't just block existing companies from accessing the data they need to pursue disruptive offerings – they also "send a message" to would-be founders and investors, letting them know that if they try to disrupt a tech giant, they will have their market oxygen cut off before they can draw breath. The only way to build a product that challenges Facebook is as Facebook's partner, under Facebook's direction, with Facebook's veto.

Next, regulation. Starting in 2019, Facebook started publishing full-page newspaper ads calling for regulation. Someone ghost-wrote a Washington Post op-ed under Zuckerberg's byline, arguing the case for more tech regulation. Google, Apple, OpenAI other tech giants have all (selectively) lobbied in favor of many regulations. These rules covered a lot of ground, but they all share a characteristic: complying with them requires huge amounts of money – money that giant tech companies can spare, but potential disruptors lack.

Finally, there's predatory acquisitions. Mark Zuckerberg, working without the benefit of a ghost writer (or in-house counsel to review his statements for actionable intent) has repeatedly confessed to buying companies like Instagram to ensure that they never grow to be competitors. As he told one colleague, "I remember your internal post about how Instagram was our threat and not Google+. You were basically right. The thing about startups though is you can often acquire them.”

All the tech giants are acquisition factories. Every successful Google product, almost without exception, is a product they bought from someone else. By contrast, Google's own internal products typically crash and burn, from G+ to Reader to Google Videos. Apple, meanwhile, buys 90 companies per year – Tim Apple brings home a new company for his shareholders more often than you bring home a bag of groceries for your family. All the Big Tech companies' AI offerings are acquisitions, and Apple has bought more AI companies than any of them.

Big Tech claims to be innovating, but it's really just operationalizing. Any company that threatens to disrupt a tech giant is bought, its products stripped of any really innovative features, and the residue is added to existing products as a "sustaining innovation" – a dot-release feature that has all the innovative disruption of rounding the corners on a new mobile phone.

The authors present three case-studies of tech companies using this four-point strategy to forestall disruption in AI, VR and self-driving cars. I'm not excited about any of these three categories, but it's clear that the tech giants are worried about them, and the authors make a devastating case for these disruptions being disrupted by Big Tech.

What do to about it? If we like (some) disruption, and if Big Tech is enshittifying at speed without facing dethroning-by-disruption, how do we get the dynamism and innovation that gave us the best of tech?

The authors make four suggestions.

First, revive the authorities under existing antitrust law to ban executives from Big Tech companies from serving on the boards of startups. More broadly, kill interlocking boards altogether. Remember, these powers already exist in the lawbooks, so accomplishing this goal means a change in enforcement priorities, not a new act of Congress or rulemaking. What's more, interlocking boards between competing companies are illegal per se, meaning there's no expensive, difficult fact-finding needed to demonstrate that two companies are breaking the law by sharing directors.

Next: create a nondiscrimination policy that requires the largest tech companies that share data with some unaffiliated companies to offer data on the same terms to other companies, except when they are direct competitors. They argue that this rule will keep tech giants from choking off disruptive technologies that make them obsolete (rather than competing with them).

On the subject of regulation and compliance moats, they have less concrete advice. They counsel lawmakers to greet tech giants' demands to be regulated with suspicion, to proceed with caution when they do regulate, and to shape regulation so that it doesn't limit market entry, by keeping in mind the disproportionate burdens regulations put on established giants and small new companies. This is all good advice, but it's more a set of principles than any kind of specific practice, test or procedure.

Finally, they call for increased scrutiny of mergers, including mergers between very large companies and small startups. They argue that existing law (Sec 2 of the Sherman Act and Sec 7 of the Clayton Act) both empower enforcers to block these acquisitions. They admit that the case-law on this is poor, but that just means that enforcers need to start making new case-law.

I like all of these suggestions! We're certainly enjoying a more activist set of regulators, who are more interested in Big Tech, than we've seen in generations.

But they are grossly under-resourced even without giving them additional duties. As Matt Stoller points out, "the DOJ's Antitrust Division has fewer people enforcing anti-monopoly laws in a $24 trillion economy than the Smithsonian Museum has security guards."

https://www.thebignewsletter.com/p/congressional-republicans-to-defund

What's more, Republicans are trying to slash their budgets even further. The American conservative movement has finally located a police force they're eager to defund: the corporate police who defend us all from predatory monopolies.

Image: Cryteria (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:HAL9000.svg

CC BY 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en

[zeroeightzeroone]

mon cœur - han jisung

love collection masterlist

genre: fluff, soft

synopsis: how did one 'i' meet the other 'i'?

pairings: idol!han jisung (istp) x fem!reader (infp)

wc ~7.6k| moodboard

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ ｡ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:

'closed for construction, sorry for the inconvenience.'

jisung blinks at the paper with bold text, allowing the words to register before he lets out a frustrated sigh. he continues to read the sign repeatedly, like if he read it enough, time would speed up, and the cafe would magically finish construction and reopen. unsure of how long he's been standing at the cafe's entrance inside the company building, he takes a couple of reluctant steps back, pulling out his phone and swiping into the group chat. a pout on his lips as he taps away and sends a message to the boys.

hanji: did you guys know the cafe on the first floor is closed for construction

leader bang: yes they sent an email last week

leebit: ^^

seungmoo: lol did u not check your email last week

jeonginnie: when was the last time you checked your emails

hanji: so you all knew 

hyune: yeah cos we checked our emails

dwaekki: are you on the first floor right now

hanji: … yes

yongbokkie: haha

dwaekki: so you found out right when you texted us

seungmoo: changbin hyung pls you found out yesterday since you also didn't check your email

hyune: oh right haha

leebit: 2racha sharing one brain cell

dwaekki: ok well han didn't need to know

hanji: ok well you all suck i'm going to get coffee somewhere else

leader bang: take someone with you

hanji: i'll be fine if i take any of you, i won't hear the end of how i don't check my emails so i will go alone

leebit: hehe

hyune: you won't hear the end of it regardless

leader bang: well come back safe

he sends a cute little emoji, acknowledging chan's message, before he shuts his phone off, slips it into his pocket, and pulls a black face mask out from the opposite pocket. hopefully, the mask would help hide his identity, just enough not to draw any attention to him during his quick coffee run. jisung loops the elastics around his ears and adjusts the nose wire as he walks to the front doors of the building, bidding a polite bow to the front desk staff. he then makes his way out of the jyp building.

he takes his phone out again, strolling as he researches what cafes there are in the area; a handful of cafes near the jyp entertainment building, a lot of them within walking distance, too. however, just to be safe, jisung looks for a cafe that isn't frequented often, one that would be emptier than the competitors nearby so he can go in and out promptly.

mon cœur.

that's the name of the cafe jisung chose; the walk to the cafe is a minute or so longer than the others, but seeing as it's almost empty according to the foot traffic tracker in the review app, jisung doesn't mind the walking.

upon entering the cafe, he's greeted by the barista. jisung's first breath is laced with coffee beans and the scent of freshly baked pastries; he scans over the cafe's interior and walks towards the cash register. eyes gazing at the white walls, oak wood accents and various green plants scattered around the cafe, the interior giving off a clean but soothing and comfortable atmosphere. even though jisung knows he will order the same thing he gets at every other cafe, he lets himself look over the menu.

"good morning, welcome to mon cœur; what can i get for you today?" jisung's eyes meet the barista's, who smiles warmly towards him. 

"can i get an iced americano?" he asks, his eyes drifting over to the empty cups displayed in various sizes at the cafe. " a medium size, please."

the barista nods as she punches in his order, confirming his item. jisung grabs his wallet as the barista is transferring the respective cost onto the card machine for payment.

"it'll be ready as soon as possible."

jisung politely smiles behind his mask, his eyes becoming crescents as he waves his hand, "don't worry, take your time. i'm in no rush."

making his way over to one of the tables, jisung takes a seat and pulls out his phone, deciding to pass the time by scrolling through the messages from fans on the bubble messaging app. meanwhile, he can hear the barista working in the background, the coffee machines running, ice being poured into cups, sinks turning on and off and fridge doors opening and closing.

ding!

jisung's attention is captured by the sudden chime of the bell dangling over the door, his gaze snapping towards the entrance where he feels like his mouth has suddenly gone dry. the barista turns to greet the new customer inside the cafe.

"good morning, welcome to–oh, y/n!" the barista's tone quickly shifts from customer service to casual. "you're not on shift today?"

jisung finds himself curious and entranced by the new presence inside the cafe, his eyes following the girl who has just entered, and he walks up to the counter.

you chuckle, "of course, i'm not on shift today. i'm only scheduled once or twice a week–i do have work later. the higher-ups have a meeting, so we start later than usual on those days."

when he realizes he's been staring for a second too long, jisung snaps out of his daze and looks back at his phone screen, scrolling. he tries not to eavesdrop and listen in, but he's getting snippets here and there in between the loud sounds of machines drowning out some of the words exchanged between you and the barista. it's like he can't help it but he also he isn't sure what's gotten over him; he had seen the tiniest glimpse of your face–a quick side profile as you walked by the table he's sat at–and now he finds himself quite intrigued by you.

"well, you work at your other job more, so it makes sense. you're here tomorrow for work, aren't you?"

"that's right, are you? are you my partner tomorrow?"

maybe he's so intrigued because you're the only two customers in the cafe; with the addition of the barista, only three people are standing in the small unit. maybe it was the lack of other customers and conversations to eavesdrop on had jisung drawn to the one you were having with the barista; either that, or it's the fact that all he's seen is the quickest glimpse of your side profile, and the only thought that registered in his brain that moment was 'pretty'.

"anyway, the usual for you?"

you nod with a smile, "you know me so well, thanks mia."

the barista, whose name jisung now knows is mia, beams at you as she lets you know she'll finish his drink before getting to yours.

it's been less than a minute since she's begun his drink, and in the back of jisung's mind, he wants mia to take her sweet time preparing his shot of espresso, water and ice just so he can listen to your voice a little more. unfortunately, even if she did choose to take her time, you decided to take a seat at the table across from jisung, leaving mia to get back to her job and not wanting to leave, him, the customer waiting too long–saving the conversation for later.

you're clad in jeans and a hoodie. you place your bag down on the chair across from you and pull out your laptop, setting it on the table. your eyes glance towards the man sitting on the opposite side of the cafe. the bottom half of his face is covered by a black mask, and dark strands of hair cover his forehead. you purse your lips together to shoot the stranger a small smile with a nod of your head.

this causes jisung to snap out of his trance, his whole body heating up at the belated realization that he's staring again. only this time, he was caught staring at a stranger by the stranger herself. his focus moves back to his phone where he tries to occupy himself once again with the bubble messages, but can't help but wallow in embarrassment at the fact he was caught. you probably thought he was a creep, some stranger in a cafe you frequented (clearly, seeing as you and the barista are on a first-name basis and the fact you apparently work here) staring at you from across the room and saying nothing.

"hi sir, your iced americano is ready," the barista, mia, announces, capturing jisung's attention as he scrambles to his feet, out of the table he's seated at and up to the counter to claim his order. mia slides jisung's drink towards him, accompanied by a straw and cup sleeve.

"thank you," jisung smiles under his mask once again. the smile doesn't reach his eyes as he thinks and rethinks that you, a beautiful stranger at this cafe, probably thinks he's a creep now. 

mia bids her usual parting greetings to customers to jisung, who then turns on his heel, making a beeline for the cafe doors. the door opens with a ding and shuts behind him, at that moment mia's eyes fall on your relaxed frame behind your laptop. all the while, jisung speed walks back to the company building with burning cheeks.

"he was totally into you," mia sings with a mischievous smile.

you scoff in disbelief, looking at mia, whose grin resembles that of the cheshire cat. "he was not. i don't even know him."

"well, he may be a stranger, but that sparkle in his eyes when you walked in is something i could recognize anywhere."

…

due to scheduling, jisung didn't have to go out and get his own coffee to start his day off–the boys had gotten so busy that their managers would take it upon themselves to do a coffee run for the boys and other staff members working with them that day the moment practice began.

the day after jisung went to mon cœur to grab his coffee, he couldn't stop thinking about you. he couldn't stop thinking about the brief glimpse he had of your side profile, how beautiful he found you, how you intrigued him so much that he found himself eavesdropping on your conversation with the barista that day. how could a stranger he didn't even get a clear view of be spending so much time running through his mind?

a month and a half of schedules filled to the brim had passed before their schedules allowed enough time during their breaks for the boys to finally fetch their food and drinks on their own. it was also in that month and a half, the jyp cafe had completed the construction they had undergone and started business up again–but they were no longer jisung's go-to.

he made the short walk over to mon cœur when his break allowed him to, walking in and ordering an iced americano, sometimes a slice of cheesecake to-go if he felt his work efforts were plentiful and flourishing through the week.

to his disappointment, you weren't the one behind the bar.

instead, it was usually mia, the girl who served him the first time and the one you were speaking to that day, joon or aera. even though he wasn't greeted by you behind the counter, the walk to mon cœur has become somewhat of a routine for jisung that he enjoys, allowing him to clear his mind for those couple of minutes.

chan claps his hands together to grasp everyone's attention. "let's take a break. we've practiced without a break since we got in, so let's take a thirty-minute break to relax." he glances at the computer, " everybody better be back on time."

the room is full of agreements as everyone inside of the practice room begin to file out.

some of the boys opt to go to the cafeteria and get something to eat in the meantime, and some of the staff share the same idea as they make their way to the elevator. most of the herd is waiting for the elevator to go up while jisung waits for the elevator to go down.

when the elevator arrives to go up, jisung steps aside to avoid being pushed in with the crowd as they all squish into the small space. it isn't until the elevator doors close and the sound of it whirring as it travels up that jisung realizes he isn't alone in the hallway.

"where are you off to?" seungmin nudges jisung.

"gonna get some coffee, maybe something small to eat too."

"hmm, what are you thinking of?" the slightly younger of the two asks as the elevator going down arrives on their floor; those exiting file out on the floor while jisung and seungmin make their way inside the elevator.

"i was thinking a cheesecake slice, maybe a small bun too," jisung tries to visualize the display fridge at mon cœur that showcases the many desserts and delicacies they offer.

"i don't remember the cafe downstairs having cheesecake slices? was it a new addition after the construction?"

"oh, i'm not going to the cafe downstairs."

seungmin pauses, blinking slowly, "you're going to a cafe that's farther than the one we have on the main floor?" jisung nods, "why?"

"it's not too long of a walk, just a couple of minutes," he begins to explain. they have great cheesecake slices, and their drinks are great too, so it's worth the couple of minutes."

"i'll come along, i wanna see how good this cheesecake is that you're taking the extra couple of minutes to walk."

jisung shrugs and goes along with it.

they pass the front desk on their way out, bidding the receptionist a polite bow before walking out of the building, obscuring the lower half of their faces with face masks they'd pulled out. much like jisung had said, the walk is indeed short, maybe feeling even shorter since they filled the time discussing work–how comeback preparations have been going.

the bell dangling above the cafe entrance chimes when jisung gently swings the door open, seungmin walking in first and him following behind. the cafe is quiet as usual, with a handful of customers scattered inside–there may be around five customers besides jisung and seungmin. the large windows facing the street are where most customers choose to sit, relax, and take sips of their drinks while enjoying the street view.

jisung and seungmin make their way to the counter, and to jisung's dismay, it looks like the barista behind the bar isn't the beautiful stranger that's been on his mind.

jisung nudges seungmin, who moves his head slightly in his direction, jisung points toward the overhead menu, "have you decided?"

seungmin shakes his head, crossing his arms over his chest and making slow strides up to the counter to get a closer look at the menu. "we just got here, of course, i haven't."

the closer they are to the counter, the closer view seungmin gets of the many pastries and dessert slices presented behind the glass. the pastries sit on long ceramic plates, lined up neatly by their different type, while the desserts are lined up inside the fridge, sitting on individual ceramic plates and angled to show off the various layers. jisung already has his eyes on the new york cheesecake slice and an iced americano, but he also finds himself eying a double chocolate muffin as seungmin hums to himself and moves around as he looks.

the barista, joon, greets the two of them with a bright and toothy smile: "good afternoon and welcome to mon cœur. i'm here to help whenever you're ready!"

jisung and seungmin smile behind their masks, crescent, sparkly eyes beaming back at the barista who recognizes jisung as a regular who's recently been frequenting their cafe.

seungmin nudges jisung, who shifts his attention to the boy, "the chocolate muffin looks good, but–"

"but what?"

seungmin whispers, "we're gearing up for a comeback, should i really—"

jisung cuts him off, "yes, we've worked hard, so we deserve a little treat. plus, you'll burn it all off in dance practice later."

seungmin hums as he ponders jisung's point before shrugging and deciding on the cake. the two boys place their orders separately, jisung going first, and in the middle of seungmin's order, someone comes out from the back of the cafe through the curtains.

"joon, do we have any–" 

you had walked out, eyes looking at the many shelves, and didn't notice the customers standing opposite of joon at the cash register.

immediately you're pursing your lips together in a sheepish smile as your cheeks heat up, bowing in apology before continuing your search all on your own. this time, you stay behind the bar instead of going back through the curtains into the back of the cafe, your eyes rifling over the shelves to check and recheck the stock.

joon apologizes with a soft smile, but seungmin shrugs it off with a chuckle before finalizing his order. once he's given the receipt and directed to move to the pickup counter, seungmin finds his friend frozen in his tracks and doing a terrible job hiding how he's blatantly staring at the female barista who emerged from the back. jisung practically has heart eyes.

seungmin nudges him; with a whisper, he says, "you're staring, you know."

jisung snaps out of his momentary trance to scoff and deny the other's claims, crossing his arms over his chest–subconsciously stealing a couple more glances at you.

"talk to her," seungmin murmers, and jisung shakes his head immediately, "why not?"

"job doesn't allow that."

"who said anything about the big 'd' word?" seungmin teases, "i just said talk to her, but if that's what you're thinking of–get her number and ask her out."

jisung shakes his head profusely. even though he wants to do exactly that, he's too nervous to speak to you. he wasn't even expecting to see you behind the bar today since every other time he had come to the cafe, he was greeted by someone else.

the one time jisung doesn't come alone is when you're on shift–he likes it, of course; who wouldn't enjoy an unexpected sighting of something, someone, so beautiful. what he doesn't like is how seungmin caught him red-handed, already anticipating the teasing and jokes when they walk back to the company building.

you hand their orders off to them, thanking them and bidding the two a nice day before they're out of the cafe and walking back to the company building to eat in the practice room. when they're outside, halfway to the company building, seungmin speaks up.

"it wasn't just the cheesecake and coffee that made the walk there worth it, was it?" there was a tinge of playfulness in his tone. 

"shut up, i don't know what you're talking about," jisung denies, taking a long sip of his iced americano.

"mhmm…" seungmin hums, "as if you weren't all heart eyes for the barista that came out from the back."

jisung's cheeks flush; he tries hard to sound stern, only to stutter and stumble over his words, "s-shut up, i'm not taking you with me next time."

…

that was a lie.

seungmin continued to tag along with jisung whenever they had the time to go to mon cœur during their break, jisung avoiding the slightly younger one's knowing gaze as he smiled teasingly. it was odd how you were always behind the bar suddenly when jisung was accompanied by seungmin; whenever he came solo, it was never you. 

a blessing and a curse.

a blessing that jisung has the opportunity to see your pretty face and your radiant smile when tending to customers, and a curse when seungmin gives him teasing looks and wiggles his eyebrows playfully. 

"i hate you," jisung murmurs as seungmin dawns a mischievous smile, the two of them now standing in line, waiting for you to complete another order before tending to them.

they watch as you transfer the orders of the customers in front of them over to joon, who makes the orders behind you. before they know it, you're standing behind the point-of-sale system and smiling at the two boys.

"hi, welcome to mon cœur," your voice is like honey to jisung's ears, "what can i get for you two today?"

seungmin nudges jisung to go first, but jisung finds himself struggling to speak, unable to order even though he gets the same drink every single time he's here. jisung stutters under your waiting gaze, your sparkling eyes, and seungmin intervenes to ease the awkwardness.

"two medium sized iced americanos, please."

you relay his words back in confirmation, catching a nod from the one in a windbreaker as you punch their order into the system. meanwhile, jisung's gaze travels to the name tag pinned on the upper left side of your apron.

'y/n.' 

"anything else for today?" your eyes drift from the pos screen to the two boys standing in front of you. the one wearing the beanie you recognize as a new regular, and his friend with the windbreaker a new new regular.

you watch as the man wearing the windbreaker nudges the man in the beanie, who shakes his head in response. his deep brown eyes crinkling into crescents as he bids you a smile under his mask. you exchange a soft, toothless smile and connect the pos to the card system so they can pay. you hear the sound of the button buzz as you move to get the respective cups and set them up.

seungmin turns the machine back in your direction, opting against taking the receipt before walking to the pickup area. the two men lean against the wall-mounted tables nearby.

"y'know, it's now or never."

jisung scoffs, rolling his eyes, "i don't know what you're talking about."

even though half his face is covered by a mask, jisung can tell seungmin is deadpanning at him because of the way his eyes droop.

"i'm just saying," he shrugs, "take the chance; what do you have to lose by doing that?"

jisung blinks, realizing seungmin has a point. if you reject his advances, he can always go back to being a regular at the cafe on the first floor of the company building. if you accept, well, he hasn't really thought that far.

regardless, he doesn't think he's ready for that, despite the fact it's been almost two months since he began frequenting mon cœur instead of the company cafe. with a soft sigh, jisung chooses to nod his head in acknowledgement and turn away from seungmin, facing toward the front as they wait.

"hi!" you grab the attention of the two boys, "your order is ready!"

pushing themselves off the table they're leaning up against, they walk up to the counter as you slide the tray with their order closer to the centre of the counter. seungmin makes the move to slide the tray toward himself, nearly sitting on the edge of the counter. you bid them a friendly smile before going over to clean up whatever you see fit.

jisung nudges seungmin when he notices the two wax-lined paper bags with the cafe logo on the front. jisung picks up one bag, peeking inside to find a chocolate chip cookie, "did you order cookies? did i just not hear it?"

seungmin shakes his head, confused as he thinks back to confirm that he only ordered the two of them iced americanos. he shakes his head again, "just the drinks... here, let me ask."

seungmin looks over to you and joon, wanting to make sure he isn't interrupting either of you.

"hi, sorry!" seungmin calls out; both you and joon turn towards the pickup counter. your feet follow the direction of your gaze as you move to attend to customers. seungmin holds up one bag, "we didn't order any cookies?"

you and joon look at each other, exchanging a smile before turning back to the two men.

"they're on the house," joon beams.

"oh?"

"you guys have been coming here quite regularly for the past couple of weeks," joon explains, "it's a little thank-you treat for the support."

"we really do appreciate it," you add.

"well, in that case," seungmin cleared his throat, "thank you so much."

"we also appreciate it–how hard you work and all," jisung pipes up rather awkwardly in his opinion.

as seungmin and jisung walk towards the front doors of the cafe, they both turn back to wave toward you and joon who stand at different stations behind the counter, bidding you two goodbye.

"thank you, have a good day!" joon waves.

"we hope to see you again soon!"

…

as the weeks went by, the cafe visits went by as well.

sometimes jisung would go alone, sitting in the cafe for a bit to clear his mind in between work while sipping on a beverage and taking small bites of dessert. other times seungmin or another member would offer to tag along, also wondering why jisung would choose to go to a cafe a couple minutes away instead of the one on the first floor of their workplace. however, the members chalked it up to the quality of the drinks and desserts, finding them to surpass those of the cafe at the office.

unlike before, jisung didn't need to be accompanied by seungmin to increase the universe's chances of finding you behind the counter. it was rare but on the rare occasion that you'd be working the same day jisung would come in for his regular order, you would engage in small talk when you were done cleaning up behind the counter and not attending to other customers.

"good morning jisung, the usual today as well?"

"am i that predictable?"

"maybe our americano and cheesecake is just that good."

"hmm… you're right about that, but no cheesecake today, i'll go for a chocolate muffin."

"look at you, changing it up, making things interesting."

"i'm full of surprises, y/n."

"one day it's cheesecake, another day a muffin. maybe another day you'll be getting something else?"

sometimes small talk in passing became conversations where he'd learn more about you and small details of your life you were willing to tell him.

through these conversations, he learned that you work two jobs to make enough money to move out of your parents' house and somewhere closer to your university campus–cutting down the commute time and translating it into study time. you'd noticed how beneficial that extra couple of hours was over your first year when your friends in the city let you stay over for a couple nights. since it's the summertime, you can pick up more shifts at your other job, which pays a bit more than the cafe job, and any free days are taken over by a cafe shift.

it's also through these conversations that jisung's intrigue and interest in you has grown.

when he first saw you, he was already curious and wanted to get to know you because of how you caught his eye. now, you've caught his attention and his ear as he wants to learn more about you, your life, your personality–just you as a whole.

it's safe to say he's moved on from a surface-level attraction to a pretty stranger and into crushing hard on that cute stranger, wanting to dig below that surface and uncover what you're willing to show him. the more he learns about you, the more he has yet to discover as the questions keep coming. the more he learns, the more interested jisung becomes in you.

of course, you've also taken the time in those conversations to ask jisung about himself and his life but he keeps the information sparse and omits some details. it's left you even more curious and wondering, wanting to know more about the boy who comes into the cafe whose order you have memorized.

what you've been told is that jisung interns for a company as a media producer and that he's one of many producer interns on a team under a big company.

he could say it's a strategy to leave you wanting more, to leave you guessing, but it's really because of his job. he wants to open up to you and let you in so you can get to know him, but he holds himself back. with the career jisung is in, the risks of being open are much greater than they would be for someone in a less publicized job.

jisung doesn't want his job to shift the way you see him and treat him. he wants you to treat him as jisung, the boy from the cafe who loves iced americanos and cheesecake. he doesn't want you to treat him as a person of importance in the music industry; he doesn't want to be treated like a celebrity.

maybe it's the fact that jisung has a crush on you that sways his judgement when he wants to think that you aren't the type of person to go blabbing to the tabloids about how an idol asked for your phone number–exposing each and every detail of who, what, where and when. nevertheless, jisung wants to trust you.

its a friday morning when jisung walks into the cafe; he knows you don't work on fridays so he's shocked to see you in the cafe when he steps inside–the shock evident in his wide brown eyes. you aren't standing behind the counter but sat at one of the tables near the window with your laptop in front of you, but jisung still wasn't expecting to see you here today. you exchange a warm, lopsided smile as he walks over to the table you're seated at, slowly dragging the chair out and taking a seat.

"what brings you here?" you wonder, leaning your weight on your palm, your elbow propped up on the table as you look at the man sitting across from you.

"the usual," he shrugs, "need my coffee fix. how about you? you don't work here on friday‘s?“

you nod with a tired sigh, "that's right. can't believe you remembered that." a lazy chuckle slips through your lips, "another late start at the other job, figured i'd come here and get some stuff done before i'm holed up there 'till five in the evening."

jisung watches as your fingers curl around the handle of the mug, lifting it off the table and to your lips to take a brief sip of–what smells to be hot chocolate–before gently placing the mug on the table next to your laptop.

"how long have you been here?" he asks, you shift your eyes to the analog clock at the top right corner of your laptop.

"hmm… since around seven?"

his eyes practically bulge out of his head, "the cafe isn't open until eight."

"yeah, i got here when aera did," jisung turns to see the short brunette behind the counter before turning back to you, "helped her a bit with pre-opening and then took a seat down here."

"your bosses here must love you, free labour," he teases.

"that's what aera said before she made me sit my ass down here."

the girl behind the counter's ears perk up at the sound of her name, a loud "hmm?" catching both your's and jisung's attention, your heads snapping in her direction. the girl blinks, a wet mug in one hand and a drying rag in the other as she stares at you both. the cafe falls quiet with the three of you exchanging looks before jisung waves at her, the girl waving back with the hand holding the rag before going back to drying the ceramic dish in the other.

you and jisung exchange eye contact before a short fit of giggles erupts from the both of you, now sitting up straight and facing the other.

"you didn't wanna take the late start as an opportunity to sleep in?" jisung wonders, leaning his weight on the table.

you shake your head, "i did that the last time and almost ended up late for work."

he sucks in a sharp breath to which you kiss your teeth with a nod.

"yeah, at least i'm up and ready to get to work while i'm here," you say, taking another sip of your hot chocolate before making a belated realization: " i should let you get your usual order. i don't wanna keep you too long since you probably have to get back to work too."

jisung nods his head with a sigh, pushing himself up off the chair and bidding you a smile under his mask. when he's turned around, you've put your headphones back in too.

he knows he needs to get back to the company building so they can continue with recording and dance practices before they're off to do some interviews and radio shows gearing up for their next comeback–the company doing what it can to promote its rookie boy group. it's a bittersweet feeling, as he does enjoy his job, but he doesn't want to stop talking to you.

jisung and aera engage in small talk as he orders, the barista tapping away on the pos screen in between to make sure she's got everything right even though he orders the same thing every time. her ears perk up this time when jisung adds something additional to his order–this time, it isn't a cheesecake or a muffin. the completion of the transaction triggers a shrill noise from the card machine, and jisung slips his card back into his wallet while moving to the pickup counter.

meanwhile, you've got both hands wrapped around the warm mug of hot chocolate, your lips resting on the edge of the rim as your eyes graze over your laptop screen. your focus on reading the latest email from the university president regarding changes to academic policies and such results in you just holding the mug up to your lips and not taking a sip.

even after reading the email over twice, you can't grasp what they were getting at. you choose to take a sip of your drink, swipe around on the trackpad to close the email, and switch tabs. at the same time you place the mug back down on the table, jisung is standing across from you with an iced americano in one hand and a wax-lined paper bag in the other. his mask is pulled down, resting under his chin.

this may be the first time you're getting a good look at the man without a mask covering half of his face. of course he's slipped it down before to take sips of his drink as he leaves the cafe, getting glimpses of his unmasked face for a couple of moments before he's out the cafe doors. however, he's now standing in front of you, allowing you to get a clear look at his face.

you slip one side of your headphones off, holding it between your thumb and pointer finger while you address the man across from you, "the usual, as usual." you tip your chin in the direction of his coffee.

your eyes move to the off-white paper bag in his other hand.

"not a cheesecake this time?" you ask playfully, head cocked at an angle.

he smiles and shakes his head, "i got a cookie this time."

you hum in acknowledgement, "chocolate chip?" he nods, "a good choice."

"actually," jisung begins, "it's for you."

your eyes widen, "what–"

you quickly drop the headphone in your hand as jisung extends his arm, the off-white bag in your own hands before you know it. you glance down at the bag and then up to him.

"wait–"

jisung is quick to cut you off, shaking his head as he starts to make his way to the door, walking backwards. there's a cheeky smile on his lips.

"you got here early, and are working so hard," he explains, "a free cookie, you deserve it."

"thank you, but ji–"

he waves you off the moment he hears the word 'but.' you open your mouth to speak again but he's already rushing out of the cafe. the loud tingling of the bell hanging above the door catches aera's attention from behind the counter where she was cleaning, both of the girls now looking at the entrance, where the door closes slowly. aera looks over to you, moving closer in your direction from behind the bar where you sit perplexed with a slack jaw.

"–i already get the cookies here for free…"

aera sets the cleaning rag down as she leans on the counter, "whats that?" she gestures to the wax-lined paper bag in your hand, a knowing smirk on her face.

"a cookie."

"he gave you his cookie?" you nod and aera coos, "how sweet."

"i mean…" you blink slowly, staring at the bag in your hands. you purse your lips, trying to hold back a shy smile, "yeah, sweet."

…

another couple of weeks fly by without any run-ins between you and jisung, whenever you're on shift he doesn't come by and vice versa. regardless of whether you had the opportunity to see him, every time you saw a cookie–it didn't even have to be the cookies that the cafe sells–you were reminded of jisung and his gesture.

the sight of the sweet snack popped an image of the boy and his bright, mischievous smile as he ran out of the cafe before you could even explain that you get the cookies for free since you work here. however, aera and mia argue that even if he knew that for a fact, he still would have bought the cookie for you as a sweet gesture.

pushing the front door open with your hip, hands stretched up to your head as you collect your hair into a ponytail, you walk into the cafe greeting mia who waves at you from behind the counter with a lopsided smile–the hair tie held between your teeth. there are one or two customers in the cafe whose attention shifted to you for a moment when the bells chimed before going back to their own business, paying no mind when you walk by where they're seated on the way to the bar.

"good afternoon, miss y/n," mia greets with a bright smile, arms crossed as she leans on the counter.

the girl chuckles when you mumble back an afternoon greeting, and the hair tie between your teeth makes it hard to speak clearly.

you split your ponytail in two, pulling the sections to adjust the style before redoing your afternoon greeting, speaking clearly, "afternoon madam mia, to what do i owe this pleasure to?"

mia rolls her eyes playfully as she nods her head in the direction of the back area of the cafe, blocked off to the customers as they keep storage and stock there. you walk toward the bathrooms, going into the back through the staff door and retrieving your apron off the hooks. you notice new boxes stacked on each other, calling out your name to be counted and organized for inventory later on while you're on the move, adjusting your apron.

"when was inventory delivered?" you ask mia as you walk through the curtains, joining her behind the bar.

she hums, thinking, "last night before closing? since it was so late–joon and kino were literally about to lock up when the delivery arrived–they had to stack them up in the back and leave it for us today."

you click your tongue, shaking your head at the explanation, and mia makes a sound in agreement, sharing your sentiment without words.

"i did most of it earlier–the ones i could carry on my own," she states, walking over to the sink to rinse the towel under hot water before ringing it out, "i'll need your help with the rest."

you nod, tying the straps of your apron together behind your back, and survey the area behind the bar, looking for something to do.

"you can bring out some more cookies," mia says.

you turn to find a mischievous look in her eyes.

she puts her hands up, feigning innocence, "what? i'm just giving you a task."

at that moment, the bell hanging above the entrance jingles as a customer or two enter the cafe. mia, already standing facing the door sees the customers who come in before you do.

"speaking of cookies," she smirks, occupying herself by rinsing the towel again.

you turn to face the entrance, walking toward the cash register and are met with the familiar eyes of jisung's. behind him, seungmin trails into the cafe, also clad in a mask as usual. the two men walk up to the cash register, but only jisung ends up standing before you as seungmin excuses himself to the bathroom, bidding you a wave before walking off.

"long time no see," you greet jisung, whose eyes light up at the realization that you have noticed his absence, "the usual today as well?"

jisung hums as he thinks, "if i ask you to surprise me, how would that go?"

you shrug, "who knows? never know until you try."

he claps his hands together, nodding his head, "i like that mindset–surprise me."

you shake your head with a smile, punching in his order and sending the transaction to the card machine to complete the payment. he walks to the pickup counter, leaning on the wall-mounted tables across from it as he waits for seungmin to come out from the bathroom. meanwhile, you pause momentarily as you think of what to "surprise" him with, standing in front of the coffee machine with your brows knit together while mia takes seungmin's order.

the two men engage in conversation as they wait for their order to be completed and handed off to them at the pickup counter, discussing the details of a movie they watched a couple nights ago and parts that stood out to them.

standing beside the pastries, one of the off-white wax-lined paper bags sits on the counter in front of you, empty as you call over to mia, "do we have a permanent marker or something?"

"let me check in the drawer."

you mumble out a quick thanks before scribbling something on the back of the paper bag before sliding on a pair of food-safe gloves to retrieve the dessert that will be going into the bag.

the beverages ordered by the two men are sitting at the pickup counter, waiting to be handed off. the rest of their order sitting in two paper bags in your hands. you double-check to make sure you're pairing the correct food and drink together before calling the respective customer.

you call over to seungmin first, sliding his order closer to the opposite end of the counter for him to pick up along with napkins and a straw. when jisung walks up to the counter, seungmin is ripping the paper open to retrieve the straw from the inside, sliding it into the lid and tossing the waste into a nearby bin. you feel your body warm up as you slide jisung's order closer to him, fighting the clamminess of your hand and sliding the paper bag over to him.

you bid him a smile, jisung takes a look at his "surprise" order, eyes scanning over the items. it's his regular iced americano, minus the cheesecake, replaced by whatever is inside the wax-lined bag.

"how'd you know i liked iced americanos?" he teases, and you play along, shrugging with a shy smile.

"good guess?"

he peeks inside the wax-lined bag to find a chocolate chip cookie sitting inside, reminding him of the last time he saw you, a smile playing on the corner of his lips. he looks at you and then at mia, bidding you both a goodbye and good day before him, and seungmin are out the doors, on the way back to work.

seungmin takes a sip of his drink through the straw, looking over a jisung, "what'd you get?"

the slightly older boy holds up the bag, "cookie."

"is that your thing now? you exchange cookies?" seungmin teases, a playful smile on his lips.

jisung rolls his eyes, "i mean—shit!"

seungmin stops in his tracks when jisung hurls forward, tripping over something. thankfully, he caught himself fast enough that he didn't end up falling on the sidewalk, what did end up falling was the paper bag with the cookie inside and a bit of his iced americano when he tightened his grip around it, squeezing some of the beverage out.

seungmin looks around the pavement, trying to identify what caused jisung to trip, only to be met with the flat cement, "how did you manage to trip over nothing?" seungmin scoffs with a chuckle, eyes then moving to jisung's feet that are clad in chunky shoes. he clicks his tongue, "never mind, i see it now."

jisung doesn't reply, staring at the pavement.

"are you okay?" seungmin finally asks, wondering why the boy wasn't coming up with a snarky reply or spitting out a flustered excuse with embarrassment. he blinks at the boy who stares at the pavement, jisung points to the bag.

seungmin tears his eyes off his band member, eyes following the direction jisung points at. the wax-lined paper bag sits empty on the pavement floor, the cookie–now broken into pieces–sitting nearby, and ants are beginning to make their way over to the dessert.

"are you that up–" he stops himself with a quiet gasp of realization.

jisung isn't fixated on the fact his cookie is broken and being stolen bit by bit by ants; he's fixated on the off-white, wax-lined paper bag that had fallen out of his hands face down. the backside of the plain bag faced up to the sky, a message scribbled in the corner with a permanent marker.

'+82 02 xxxx yyyy, thanks for the cookie :) - y/n'

[nuttynutcycle]

"Professor,” the student thrust up their hand, “Why can’t we utilize the heroes as makeshift police? It worked in Europe.”

 “Europe has a different political and geographical space,” the professor scribbled on the whiteboard. “And better pay for its teachers. Who can tell me anything about Venetian law enforcement?”

Several hands waved in the crowded lecture hall. The professor pointed at random.

“Venice utilizes water-based heroes. They use the canals and ocean to have an advantage over lawbreakers and are held in line through their enforcement collars.”

The student sounded like they were reading out of a textbook. “Excellent answer. Now,” the professor clapped their hands, “Could that work here?”

The same student beamed at the compliment. “Absolutely not. We have no cities based on canals or built on evenly distributed rivers to give water-based heroes an advantage. And sir,” the student continued, stifling a laugh. “Can you imagine trying to put a bracelet on an American hero? The government would never make it past congress.”

Chuckles half-heartedly rippled across the auditorium. Many students pretended they were listening or taking notes while Instagram reflected in their glasses.

“Wrong.”

The professor frowned at the interruption. “In this class, we raise our hand and explain our reasoning.” He turned toward the owner of the voice, a boy in a denim jacket in the back of the room. “Care to elaborate?”

 “They already have them.”

The professor pushed his glasses up his nose, a trickle of curiosity rising against his better judgment. He reached over to his computer and paused the lecture recording. “Do you have evidence to support this theory?”

The boy looked up from his computer and shrugged. “Does anyone here think our illustrious government would let a group of highly powerful individuals run around untethered?”

The auditorium quieted. A few hands raised in a sea of hundreds, before slowly lowering. 

The professor had to admit, that was a good point. Still... “Most heroes don’t comprehend the notion of modesty. Trust me, there’s nowhere to hide a bracelet that the cameras wouldn’t see.”

“What about MagniBoy?” One student asked. “That costume covers everything except-“

“Unfortunately for MagniBoy,” The professor interrupted before the lecture became decidedly less PG. “There was an incident last year. We now know for sure that there is��absolutely no possible place for a bracelet.”

Several students nodded, some in disgust and others with smiles.

“It’s not on their bodies.” The boy in the denim spoke again. “American heroes are controlled as soon as they join a force, but they just don’t realize it.”

This was quickly verging into Reddit board theories. The professor felt a headache coming on. “Let’s not get off track- “

“Where is it then?” Another student asked.

“Did they swallow it?”

“Why wouldn’t anyone say anything about it?”

The professor sat down in his chair and prepared for the ride. If the class wanted to waste precious exam review time with theories, their loss.

“Twenty years ago, the government started investigating bracelets and mood alteration. Two years later they stopped due to public protests.” The boy smiled bitterly. “We love our heroes, and we love our rights even more. Three years after that, our heroes were injected with a tracker ‘for safety’.”

“Those trackers were removed when a hero retired.” The professor interrupted with a gentle smile. “If what you’re saying is true, retirees would notice a significant difference in mood.” Several students nodded in agreement.

The boy looked at him in near pity. “Sir, do you know what the original bracelets were made of?”

The professor remembered. His back straightened.

“Nanotech.” The boy savoured the word, savoured his captive audience. “Bit backwards, isn’t it? They found that heroes were more likely to have more health defects with the experimental tech, so they changed it to computerized ones. But,” he tapped his chin, “What if our generous government decided to inject their puppets with this same nanotechnology. What would happen?” The boy tilted his head innocently. “On a completely different note, how many heroes die from radiation poisoning? Illness? Cancer?”

The auditorium was silent.

“There used to be hero-turned-vigilantes or villains. Where did they all go?” The boy was picking up speed. 

No one was on Instagram anymore; all eyes were on him. 

“And isn’t it interesting that fifteen years ago, the cases of heroes breaking the law dropped by 80%? As did the destruction of vital buildings?”

“Oh,” another student whispered.

“They have thousands of powered people, sacrificing their lives without realizing it. Heroes sign away their personality, their life, their future.” The boy choked on a laugh. “When was the last time a hero made it to 60?”

“Young man,” the professor found his voice, “That’s enough.”

The boy’s gaze sharpened on the professor. “Sir, you were a hero before teaching. What do you think?”

[literary-illuminati]

2024 Book Review #20 – Foundryside by Robert Jackson Bennett

I’ve in theory been a big fan of Bennett for a couple years now, having adored American Elsewhere when I read it. I say ‘in theory’ because I had not actually followed that up by reading any of his other stuff until I happened to see him doing an AMA on r/fantasy and was jolted to go put something of his on hold. The most convenient option was Foundryside so, here we are.

The story follows Sancia, a former slave-turned-magical-experiment who now uses her rather inconveniently always-on sort of object empathy to be a really excellent thief for hire in the hopes of earning enough cash to pay some black market surgeon to make her normal again and then stay quiet about it. That price tag lures her into accepting a job for an eye-watering amount of money from what it clearly one of the merchant houses who rule the city – which she discovers to be an ancient relic, a key that can open any lock. And talk to her. And revolutionize the entire industry of enchanting upon which the city’s fortune and empire are built. She correctly assumes that there’s no way they’re planning to let her live after turning it (him) over, and things spiral out of control from there.

It’s fundamentally a heist story, with all the main action setpieces being about breaking into places and stealing things. And like all good heist stories, the protagonists are totally incapable of winning through anything like brute force, and have to be clever bastards about it – sneaking past guards, not slaughtering them in the night. Those heist sequences are all vividly described and just a lot of fun, almost worth the price of admission on their own.

So this is the rare story where calling it ‘magipunk’ is both accurate and helpful. Which is to say, it is almost literally a cyberpunk story translated into the idiom of vaguely-early-modern fantasy city states instead of corporate arcologies. Scheming oligarchs, overmighty corporate states, miraculous technologies that are only felt by the underclass as news ways of being oppressed and objectified, the works. The most triumphant and hopeful part of the ending involves the founding of a worker’s coop that doesn’t get immoderately crushed. Notably useful and plot-relevant enchanted items include a listening device, trackers, and a powered gliding rig. It’s only when you really get into it that the magic starts feeling at all magical, is what I’m saying – you could translate almost all of this into Cyberpunk 2020 terms in a couple of hours. I think it’s quite fun.

Sancia’s whole backstory – a slave on one of the plantations supplying the city with food and spices, taken as a subject for bloody experimentation in creating perfectly obedient magical cyborgs, surviving and escaping because they got sloppy with occult grammar and reality interpreted ‘be like object’ as ‘be like [INSERT NEAREST OBJECT HERE]’ – is fun on a few different levels. The story definitely leans into a running theme of the reduction of the powerless and subordinate to literal objects and tools wielded by those who control them, both metaphorically and literally. But also there’s an absolutely great beat where she’s explaining her story to the rest of the main cast who are all horrified and disgusted that anyone would do such a thing. To which she reacts very angrily and goes ‘you know that isn’t, like, worse than the whole rest of the chattel slave economy, right? More people get horribly tortured to death as part of everyday operations than creepy magical experiments?”

Sancia as a character is just a lot of fun to spend time in the head of, honestly. Her relationship with Clef (the magical key, the more literal example of being objectified and insturmentalized by one’s masters) is the core dynamic of the first ~half of the book, and it absolutely carries it. Though in the final act it then runs into the very common action/adventure story issue where she starts talking about this guy she’d known for barely a week like a life-long friend she’s shared more good times than she could count with. Entirely forgivable but like, it does stand out.

There’s this whole subtheme of, like, futile misogyny running through the text? It’s never explicitly brought up, and the only character whose actually vocally sexist on the page is the asshole philistine moneygrubbing abusive husband wannabe-coupist you’re clearly supposed to hate. But it’s a repeatedly mentioned point that the culture of enchanting grew significantly more patriarchal in the previous generation (for unstated reasons, possibly just the one epoch-defining genius being a misogynistic ass) and that this was very bad for the career prospects of several major characters. Despite this, important women in the story include a) half the main cast, b) the only competent and attentive head of any of the four merchant houses and c) the enchanting-prodigy wife of aforementioned sexist asshole who turns out to have been feeding him every useful idea he ever had until she could kill him and scoop up everything he’s gathered. This is one of those things that amuses me because it’s clearly deliberate but is never directly mentioned.

This is also one of those books that’s queer rep not in the revolutionary groundbreaking it’s-a-core-part-of-the-tezt way, but in the ‘wow isn’t it great how normal and unremarkable queer representation is now?’ way. Like, Sancia is gay, which is one of remarkably few things about herself she never expresses a single moment of angst, anger or self-doubt about, and she has the sort of C-plot romance subplot every adventure story is obligated to (right down to agreeing to go out for a drink if she survives the last big heist), but with a woman. Her sexuality otherwise basically doesn’t matter. When people ask for queer SFF book recommendations I’m never sure if offering stuff like this is missing the point or exactly what’s desired.

As mentioned, the only other book of Bennett’s I’ve read is American Elsewhere. Which was an absolutely horrible way to set my expectations going into this. Foundryside is fun adventure fantasy, but it has far fewer literary pretensions. The prose is incredibly readable – it’s absolutely a page turner – but that’s basically all it aspires to be. Elsewhere had several different passages I stopped and reread just for the pleasure of it, Foundryside I went back and reread only when I skimmed past some important detail and got confused.

But it’s a really fun fantasy heist story, and the sequel promises to be about a rampant artificial intelligence clockwork djinn which turned against the ancients who made her. So I’m sure I’ll get to it sooner rather than latter.

[samueldays]

Sam Reviews: Phoenix Point, part 1

Phoenix Point is down to ten bucks on GOG, DLC included!

I bought it, figuring even a half-decent XCOM clone is worth it for ten bucks. So far it feels like a $10 game indeed. I'm probably not going to finish it before the sale ends, I have a job, so here's my initial impressions for those interested and I'll come back with part 2 later.

Tutorial missions, fine. First regular mission against crab monsters, fine. Second regular mission pits me against gun-happy human bandits, and I am unpleasantly surprised that they return fire whenever they're shot at, getting 4 counter-attacks in a turn if 4 people shoot at them, they even "return fire" upon having a grenade thrown at them.

Solution: run up and bash them in the head with the butt of a gun repeatedly, they don't get to return fire from that. I grumbled about that, and the game feels like 'that' repeatedly.

I didn't like the puzzle boss nature of infinite return fire. One return fire per turn would have been cool, and enabled tactical counterplay options. Unlimited return fire breaks the action economy, breaks my immersion for the game abstraction of "action points", and makes me feel this is going to be a game about cheesing AP limits and ruleslawyer combos. Also, the infinite return fire ability was on multiple nameless minions in that mission, not even reserved for a boss. Bash bash bash bash!

I didn't like the lack of game hints in this context. I had Hints turned on for a first run at low difficulty. The Hints make suggestions for what to research, how game mechanics work, and provide informative popups the first time a new strain of crab monster appears. But there was no Hint popup about the first encounter with an enemy having the Return Fire ability, no tooltip on mouseover of enemy, nor was there any indication of what actions trigger Return Fire, despite this being significantly more impactful than "this crab monster regenerates".

I didn't like the solution, which felt like a rules loophole rather than a sensible way to approach rapid-firing enemies. Oh yeah here's a guy who can interrupt your turn to shoot multiple times per turn, you should all walk up to him and punch him and he'll politely submit to the beatings.

I really didn't like that compared to recent XCOM games, Phoenix Point added a micromanagement tracker for Weapon Durability, and bashing the return-fire-goons in the head damages your weapon! Also they brought back ammo management, so now your weapon has two stats that can run out during combat.

But I also recognize that these things aren't bugs or crashes or typos or other objectively wrong things about the game, they're design decisions that I disagree with. The game runs fine. I have a series of grumbles and no dealbreakers.

Moving on from the Return Fire-associated crap...

This is an XCOM-genre game, definitely. It has base building, squad management, research and production, capturing crab monsters for research, psychic mind control, a strategic "Geoscape" layer and numerous tactical battle missions. The one thing that's oddly missing is gear upgrades. New gear is mostly sidegrades and tactical options, on the other hand it offers far stronger character upgrades than in most XCOM games, to the point of looking partly like a CRPG with classes, levels and skill points.

The Geoscape has more content than the waiting game that was some previous xcoms. There are other factions moving on the map, there's some trade and diplomacy with them, there are unknown sites to explore, you reactivate old bases instead of building them from scratch. Sometimes this means clearing them of crab monsters.

The Phoenix Point interface inherits a lot of XCOM 2's cutscenery that I dislike. It is very beautiful, very zoomed in, and wants to make sure you see it. There's frequent waiting to watch stuff resolve, and the game insists on having the camera follow unimportant actions like the run animation of every soldier's every move, and locking the interface during this. Move orders (particularly out of sight of enemies) should not hog control, I should be able to tab to the next soldier and begin giving a new move order immediately after the previous! Each individual animation is short, but multiply it by several soldiers, on each of several turns, on each of several missions, and my frustration at an unresponsive interface accumulates.

The zoom-out is limited. Soldiers will frequently be so far away from each other that I can't see them on the same screen, and have to pan back and forth. Bleh.

The gun system is quite detailed with damage types, damage values, accuracy modifiers, weapon ranges, armor, armor-shredding weapons, body part targeting and hit location, disabled limbs, bleeding, cover, et cetera. The game then offers options to skip a lot of this gunnery where enemies get to resist, and instead go for special abilities that Just Work, like War Cry:

AOE, autohit, no save, renders most enemies unable to attack for a turn.

About that limbs stuff, Phoenix Point has tried hard to make hit locations relevant. Crab monsters have game-relevant organs and limbs that can be disabled for far less damage than it takes to kill the whole monster. It's neat, but feels a little underwhelming. I don't blame the devs much for this, balance is hard when there's hefty player optionality plus RNG, and there's a fine line between making targeting relevant and making a monster the Shootmeinthegland monster where shooting it in the gland simply becomes the new default target instead of shooting it in the head/center mass.

Guns are weak, and armor is powerful as part of making limb targeting relevant. Also, armor-shredding weapons. This feels related to the CRPG class-and-level stuff: with the smaller squad and the more personalized characters and the more important individuals, the game has to give more leeway for characters to survive being hit to avoid player frustration. We've moved a long way from X-COM:UFO where casualties were routine and replacements were cheap.

I don't know if it's good or bad that the game plays "fair" about the least relevant nameless NPCs being similarly padded, but I know one of my mutuals will hate this combination of health padding and detailed targeting:

I have caught this thief at close range (2 tiles). I am about to launch a six-round burst from my character's assault rifle into his head. The targeting reticle, the highlighted yellow outline, and the info popup all agree that these bullets will go into his head if I fire here and now. The segmented bar at the top indicates that the result of close-range burst fire to the head through the front of the face is that the thief will lose about half his hitpoints.

To underscore that I've gotten a head hit, not a glancing blow off the helmet, the game displays the thief with a bloody face and blood-splattered clothes after the shot. But he lives. Somehow.

There's also a plot to Phoenix Point. I don't play xcoms for the plot, but there's definitely been some work on the plot beyond "kill and loot aliums :)". After the second world war, blah blah secret organization, moonbase, something something precursor civilization. It looks like good lore, I'll re-read the accumulated notes when I have more notes and fewer darkly hinting clue-scraps bereft of context.

(update: part 2)

[the-gayest-show]

just finished all the remainder of the episodes of fop a new wish that i didn't finish (so crocker to the future to lost in fairy world) and i really liked it!

overall, banger after banger this show really is a fun one, nickelodeon better give em a s2 PLEASE THIS IS THE ONLY CURRENTLY RUNNING SHOW I HAVE-

episode reviews below!

Crocker to the Future: genuinely loved all the parascience things. I do 100% feel like that award for preserving in the face of adversity or whatever truly belonged to Crocker. my guy was at this for like. 10+ years! AND THAT"S JUST THE OG FAIRLY ODDPARENTS!!! MY GUY WAS ON HIS "fairies are real!!! trust me!!" thing for ENOUGH TIME FOR FOP A NEW WISH TO TAKE PLACE!!!!!! i'm so glad he (sort of) got to have the award in that ghost containment thing.

AJ in the episode was interesting but honestly major L for AJ. I thought he'd be like the next einstein, not a parascience mf. maybe Timmy Turner fucked him up a bit, who knows...

Battle of the Dimmsonian: Genuinely felt bad for Peri here. Like DUDE. You are stuck with this asshole kid (Dev I love you but be nicer plss) who just sorta demands things from Peri like all the damn time? poor kid. Reminds me of what Remy Buxaplenty had with his godparent but at least wandisimo had a semi-similar personality so it kind of worked. Not saying that Peri and Dev don't work, it might since Dev has been shown to be nice underneath but I can't stand the blatant mistreatment for now.

But also, damnnnn he IMMEDIATELY recognizes his parents and goes "oh shit" it's crazy how he managed to do that when they're fidget toys on a kid's backpack.

I also liked the whole back and forth thing ("Mom? Dad?" "Son?" etc), Cosmo being the only one to not do that is so true for him.

I wonder if Peri not seeing Cosmo and Wanda was intentional, we'll see!

Patty Possum's Party Playground: I almost thought this episode was gonna be like Five Night's At Freddy's or somethign with the animatronics but I guess not! I liked Patty Possum, she's so rad! I can defo see why Winn liked skateboarding after that. I love Cosmo and Wanda being certified idiots in this episode. They took "you can't use magic" seriously (as seriously as "oh Wanda shrunk into the claw machine so we could actually get a prize" can be) and stuck BOTH of their wands in the claw machine. If there's anything I love about this show, it's Cosmo and Wanda being two halves of a whole idiot. Truly can't function without magic fr fr I liked the gag of Hazel's dad literally being punctual as hell. That scene where he's like "oh it only takes 29 min and 30 seconds to get there" and then it hits 7:30 and he's panicking is so real (what if I headcanoned him as autistic. what then? just like me fr fr).

A Date To Remember: A really cute episode where Hazel essentially has to compete against Cupid (who looks like a baby now, I guess they got rid of his looks from the main series and gave them to Peri lol) [look how they untwinkified my boy /j] to make sure Hazel's parents fall back in love again. The ending where the parents think it was just another puppet show was crazy, wasn't expecting that tbh!

Lost In Fairy World: WE GOT THE FAIRY TRIO INTERACTING LET'S GOOOOOOO

It seems like their dynamic is basically just over protective coddling parents vs their son who really doesn't like it. But despite what I used to think before seeing this episode (that maybe Peri had some kind of resentment or something) it doesn't seem that way? Peri seems to like his parents overall and maybe even might enjoy the affection (if it weren't for the godkids there), but I get why he turned off the tracker and such. My guy wants independence! You go boy! Them sneaking in to Jorgan's office was really funny and stuff. I hope we'll see them all together in the next episodes because I like their dynamic and want to see where it goes!

Dev and Hazel were great here too! Dev is still kind of an ass to Peri but not as much which is an improvement! I like how he gets that "dimmadome face" or whatever it was called where he basically looks as deranged as his dad. Like father, like son I guess. Dev and Hazel actually having fun together is a step up from where they used to be, it seems like they solved their argument somehow. Dev sort of took that to mean that they weren't friends anymore, poor thing.

Dev taking advantage of the loopholes is so smart lol, Peri having a crisis and his parents like "AWWW, baby's first loophole wish!" is crazy.

The rule that "you can only go to fairy world if you're being tested by jorgan" doesn't really make sense if you think about original FOP though. Timmy got to go there almost recreationally! Dude probably attended like 90% of all fairy world events and shit and he was the talk for the town for an entire episode! Make it make sense!!!

Overall tho I LOVED these and they were enjoyable af. Would watch again. Judging by what I saw for descriptions of the next episodes, Peri's anti fairy (or Foop, now known as Irep, which if you ask me doesn't have the same ring to it) will be working with Dev? Crazy. Anyways yeah I had a lot of fun and woah this post got kinda long

[mangedog]

tumblr blackout protest: masterpost

original post proposing the blackout

current plan is:

48 hour blackout (june 30th - july 1st, PDT time zone)

see what the response is from staff (if any)

organise an (actually organised…) longer blackout.

keep going - and increasing the length - until we get the response we want

update: how did the blackout go?

current suggestions for demands:

reverse the recent image viewer update

scrap the new users 'for you' page default setting

let us turn off tumblr live indefinitely ( -> here's a response from 2 staff members about it)

increase efforts against spam / porn bots

make reporting abuse and hate speech as easy as reporting as reporting spam

let us go nuts show nuts again… for real this time ( -> there are app store/USA law issues with this one, so it's not entirely in tumblr's hands)

remove flashing ads, including not accepting blaze campaigns for posts with flashing in them

commit to improving usability and accessibility, and listening to users!

more transparency on staff working on issues raised by users ( -> staff does have a github but seems to be more dev focused than user issues focused)

other posts:

a few notes on the protest

some issues users have

delete the app on the 30th!

on volunteer work & what goes into running tumblr... and why our demands might not work

the strike should be kept at 48 hours... this time. (and a suggestion for mastodon in the meantime)

response from staff members (cyle, kat & zingring)

boycott tumblr products (and why the indefinite blackout suggestion had nothing to do with disability month; though it was an oversight on my behalf)

some criticisms... and some suggestions

the current goals

on demands, communicating with staff, and suggestions for communicating with participants

complaining to staff hasn't worked (so far)

leave negative reviews on the app store

initial suggestion to make it indefinite

let's use this post as a place to discuss how the blackout should work, how long it will go for, our demands, how to communicate best with staff, and what happens if it doesn't work.

a response from zingring (staff, COO) said:

"We actually are talking very recently (since yesterday) about instituting a public bug tracker, and it could be GitHub. We are also talking about publishing a community wishlist."

so it's already working!

(number of times staff has rejected a blaze campaign for the original post: 5)

[tightsweatyclothes]

When Chloe and Natalie were offered the chance to serve the remainder of their sentence out of the prison compound, they jumped at the chance without even hearing the T&Cs. The padded outfit and helmet now seal them off from the world, insulating them in conditions far worse than those of the sensory deprivation cells. Inside the thick helmets and hoods, they can neither see nor hear the outside world. Regular disinfection and cleaning mechanisms in their attire ensures they never have to take it off, ensures that their hellish dark is permanent. Their own mouths are kept gagged, and the earpieces filled with loud and unbearable blips played at random intervals. The only thing they are allowed to feel in their skin is their own sweat, the smooth and overtight inner surface of the suit, the unbearable itching from chemicals injected into the suit.

Even though the itching makes them want to claw their own skin to pieces, tear at sticky sweaty itching until the blood runs, they may not even try to scratch, for their every movement is at the mercy of the electronic suit, and they may not so much as scream their frustration into the gag, lift a finger, tilt their head, make a step in the wrong direction without paying dearly for it with searing torture. Even as it feels as though ants and mites and bees are swarming the insides of their suits, they can only move their limbs slowly, and the more they try not to think about it, the worse the itching seems to get. Even their eyes are not exempt: inside the helmet, a bright light flashes into their pupils, and while it is on they have to follow it as it moves on the screen, and if not the eyeball tracker unit punishes them with a shock.

Inside the suits, the temperature is kept at 37°C, and the air they breathe is regulated, coming from canisters which have to be replaced regularly, filled with foul-smelling air which makes them feel like vomiting. When the air runs low, they are directed to a kneeling and bowed position at a refilling station which also serves to feed and water them, and furthermore recharge the suits, and finally allow them to pass a few drops of waste, never allowing the pressure at their bladders to fall below agonising urgency.

They spend their days at the mercy of the outfit, forced to follow its every order, unable to sleep for more than an hour at a time with their limbs bound together at the charging stations before being rudely awoken once more. This precious hour is the only time the continuous torments, the unrelenting control over their every motion lets up, allowing them to thrash against the steel shackles which keep their wrists and ankles firmly locked, allowing them at least to scream into the gag in desperate fury before sheer exhaustion takes over. Two weeks have passed, but already it feels like eons to the two pitiable girls, and there are several months before their performance review to decide if their punishment is to be lengthened, or made lenient, or simply continued indefinitely.

[birdship]

This project is unfinished and will remain that way. There are bugs. Not all endings are implemented. The ending tracker doesn't work. Images are broken. Nothing will be fixed. There's still quite a bit of content, though, so I am releasing what's here as is.

Tilted Sands is a project I started back when AI Dungeon first came out--the very early version you had to run in a Google colabs notebook. Sometime in late 2018, I think? I was a contributor at Botnik Studios at the time and I was delighted by AI Dungeon, but I knew it would never be a truly satisfying choose your own adventure generator on its own. I would argue that the modern AI Dungeon 2 and NovelAI don't fully function as such even now. That's not how AI works. It has to be guided heavily, the product has to be sculpted by human hands.

Anyway, it inspired me to use Transformer--a GPT2 predictive text writing tool--to craft a more coherent and polished but still silly and definitely AI-flavored CYOA experience. It was an ambitious project, but I was experienced with writing what I like to call "cyborg" pieces--meaning the finished product is, in a way, made by both an AI/algorithm/other bot AND a human writer. Something strange and wonderful that could not have been made by the bot alone, nor by the human writer alone. Algorithms can surprise us and trigger our creative human minds to move in directions we never would've thought to go in otherwise. To me, that's what actual AI art is: a human engaging in a creative activity like writing in a way that also includes utilizing an algorithm of some sort. The results are always fascinating, strangely insightful, and sometimes beautiful.

I worked on Tilted Sands off-and-on for a couple years, and then the entire AI landscape changed practically overnight with DALL-E and ChatGPT. And I soon realized that I cannot continue working on this project. Mainstream, corporate AI is disgustingly unethical and I don't want the predictive text writing I used to enjoy so much to be associated with "AI art". It's not. Before DALL-E and ChatGPT, there were artists and writers who made art by utilizing algorithms, neural networks, etc. Some things were perhaps in an ethical or legal grey area, but people actually did care about that. I remember discussing "would it be ethical to scrape [x]?" with other writers, and sharing databases of things like commercial advertising scripts and public domain content. I liked using mismatched databases to write things, like a corpus of tech product reviews that I used to write a song. The line between transformative art and fair use vs theft was constantly on all of our minds, because we were artists ourselves.

All of the artists and writers I knew in those days who made "cyborg art" have stopped by now. Including me.

But I poured a lot of love and thought and energy into this silly little project, and the thought of leaving it to rot on my hard drive hurt too much. It's not done, but there's a lot there--over 14,000 words, multiple endings and game over scenarios. I had so much fun with it and I wanted to complete it, but I can't. I don't want it to be associated in any way with the current "AI art" scene. It's not.

Please consider this my love letter to what technology-augmented art used to be, and what AI art could have been.

I know I'm not the only one mourning this brief but intense period from about 2014-2019 in which human creativity and developing AI technology combined organically to create an array of beautiful, stupid, silly, terrible, wonderful works of art. If you're also feeling sad and nostalgic about it, I hope you find this silly game enjoyable even in its unfinished state.

In conclusion:

Fuck capitalism, fuck what is currently called AI art, fuck ChatGPT, fuck every company taking advantage of artists and writers and other creative types by using AI.

[canmom]

Indika (title puns? sorry i got nun)

I played that game that got a bunch of hype a few months back! Created by exiled Russian devs Odd Meter and published by the absolutely on top of their game right now 11Bit Studios, it's a uniquely AESTHETIC orthodoxcore meditation on religion and nihilism that has more than a little Tarkovsky flavour. If you've seen any review of this game you probably know the score: splendid writing and blending of aesthetic registers, spaced out by rather more orthodox (ha ha) game puzzle design.

It's very much a setpiece driven game, leading you through a series of absolutely gorgeously rendered snowy, industrial environments of increasingly surreal size, all carrying a three-way dialogue between Indika (a nun who hears the voice of the devil in her ear and seems to be experiencing some kind of psychosis), Ilya (an escaped convict who's convinced God is leading him to some great purpose, if only he can heal his rotting sepisy arm) and the devil (who only Indika can hear, cutting in with sardonic commentary every so often).

So it's a story about becoming disillusioned with religion and shaking off moralism, about desperation, about ostracisation - and a very confident one at that, full of great presentation and acting choices and provocative events.

I think the interesting question with this is like, what does it gain from being a game, rather than e.g. a movie or even a play - or for that matter a 'walking simulator' game with no challenges at all? The puzzles don't really factor into it, they mostly function as a speedbump... except, of course, that running into blatant videogame puzzles adds to the sense of unreality that is given by the strangely towering architecture and giant fish and so on, acting consonant with the chiptune/EDM in the soundtrack, the 2D pixel-art flashbacks and especially the mechanical representation of Indika's faith as a pixellated point tracker which incrementally ticks up for every religious act, a device which pays off in the final scene.

So - much like NieR, it likes to play around with the imagery of previous eras of game as symbols. The benefits of being a game are then in a sense mostly aesthetic invocations - but it does make interesting use of them, e.g. a monster-chase sequence unexpectedly seguing into an argument with the devil about the different motives of humans and animals as the camera rolls to follow the defeated boss around a water wheel.

Honestly, the camerawork in this game is really something special - making all sorts of clever uses of curved lenses and striking compositions that really allow you to feel the weight of the environments. Besides the well-shot cutscenes, you can sit on benches in various places and switch through a series of striking camera angles. But equally, you get a far stronger sense of the moody setpieces when you are walking through them to figure out a path, compared to if you simply saw them in the background of an establishing shot.

There is also the matter of taking the characters and environment, which you might take for granted in a film, and drawing them into the realm of something constructed. To film a real convent covered in snow is one thing; to meticulously build snow shaders which respond to footfalls and perfectly convey the sparkling mushy texture of melting snow is perhaps a different statement, much as animated a movement and filming it conveys different emphases. Perhaps this is just the tech artist talking, but a significant part of the expression comes in walking around as Indika and observing the wind catching her wimple and the carefully designed ways she stumbles and fidgets. So yeah yeah, the medium is still the goddamn message.

Environment design and rendering seem to be real strong points for Odd Meter - sure, anyone can take the off the shelf engine features of Unreal, but it takes a lot of skill to really make it sing cohesively. Their previous game is a VR archery game called Sacralith, and while it doesn't seem to have the same artistic ambitions as Indika, I'm terribly curious to try it out now.

Definitely recommend giving this one a look. It's a pretty digestible four hours to play, so basically two movies. Which feels appropriate for this type of strongly narrative-focused game - very much for short focused games these days...

[megumi-fm]

this week on megumi.fm ▸ media analysis brainrot

📋 Tasks

💻 Internship ↳ setup Linux system on alternate drive (this took me wayy more time than i anticipated) ✅ ↳ install yet more dependencies ✅ ↳ read up on protein folding and families + CATH and SCOP classifications ✅ ↳ download protein structure repositories ✅ ↳ run protein modeller pipeline ✅ ↳ read papers [3/3] ✅ ↳ set up a literature review tracker ✅ ↳ code for a program to parse PDB files to obtain protein seq ✅ 🎓 Uni Final Project our manuscript got a conditional acceptance!! ↳ revise and update manuscript and images according to changes mentioned ✅ 🩺 Radiomics Projects ↳ feature extraction from radiomics data using variance-based analysis ✅ ↳ setup LASSO regression (errors? look into this) 📧 Application-related ↳ collect internship experience letter ✅ ↳ collect degree transcripts ✅ ↳ request for referee report from my prof ✅

📅 Daily-s

🛌 consistent sleep [6/7] (binge watched too much TV and forgot about bed time booo) 💧 good water intake [5/7] (need to start carrying a bottle to work) 👟 exercise [4/7] (I really need to find time between work to move around)

Fun Stuff this week

🧁 met up with my bestfriends! we collected the mugs we painted last year and gifted them to each other! we also surprised one of our besties by showing up at her place. had waffles too ^=^ 📘 met up with another close friend for dinner! hung out at a bookshop after <3 🎮back at game videos: watched this critique on a time loop game called 12 minutes //then i switched up and got super obsessed with this game called The Beginner's Guide. I watched a video analysis on it, then went on to watch the entire gameplay, then read an article on the game's concept and what it means to analyze art and yeah. wow. after which I finally started playing the game with my best friend!! 📺 ongoing: Marry my Husband, Cherry Magic Th, Last Twilight 📺 binged: Taikan Yoho (aka My Personal Weatherman), Hometown Cha Cha Cha 📹 Horror Storytelling in the internet era

📻 This week's soundtrack

so. the Taikan Yoho brainrot was followed by me listening entirely to songs that evoked similar emotions to watching the main couple. personal fav emotions include a love that feels like you could die, a love that feels like losing yourself, a love that makes you feel like you could disappear, a love asking to be held, a love that reminds you that you're not alone, and a love that feels like a promise <3

---

[Jan 15 to 21; week 3/52 || I am having a blast at work ♡ I feel like I'm really learning and checking out a lot of cool stuff. That being said, I think I'm slacking when it comes to my daily routines in regards to my health. and I'm spending wayy too much time chained to my desk. maybe I'll request for an option to work from home so that I can cut on time taken on commute and spend that time exercising or walking

also. my obsession with tv shows is getting a bit. out of hand I think. not that it's particularly an issue? but I think I should switch back to my unread pile of books (or resume magpod) instead of spending my evenings on ki**a*ian. this could be unhealthy for my eyes in the long run, considering my work also involves staring at a screen all day. let's see.]

[mostlysignssomeportents]

How America's oligarchs lull us with the be-your-own-boss fairy tale

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/02/16/narrative-capitalism/#sell-job

Capitalism is a vibes-based system. Sure, we all know about Keynes's "Animal Spirits" that see "bulls" and "bears" vying to set the market's future, but beyond that, there's just a hell of a lot of narrative.

Writing for The American Prospect, Adam M Lowenstein reviews two books that tell the histories of the stories that are used to sell American capitalism to the American people – the stories that turn workers into "temporarily embarrassed millionaires":

https://prospect.org/culture/books/2024-02-16-stories-corporations-tell-williams-waterhouse-review/

The first of these books is Taming the Octopus: The Long Battle for the Soul of the Corporation, by Kyle Edward Williams, a kind of pre-history of "woke capitalism":

https://wwnorton.com/books/9780393867237

Taming is a history of the low-water marks for Big Business's reputation in America, and how each was overcome through PR campaigns that declared a turning point in which business leaders would pursue the common good, even at the expense of their shareholders' interests.

The story starts in the 1950s, when DuPont and other massive firms had gained a well-deserved reputation as rapacious profit-generation machines that "alienated workers and pushed around small businessmen, investors, and consumers." This prompted DuPont's PR chief, Harold Brayman, to write a memo called "The Attack on Bigness," where he set out a plan to sell America on a new cuddly image for corporate giants.

For Brayman, the problem was that corporate execs were too shy about telling their social inferiors about all the good that businesses did for them: "The businessman is normally reluctant to talk out loud. He frequently shuns the spotlight and is content with plugging his wares, not himself."

This was the starting gun for a charm offensive by American big business that included IBM president Thomas Watson Jr ("I think there is a world market for about five computers") going on a speaking tour organized by McKinsey & Co, where he told audiences that his company's billion dollar annual profits had convinced it to assume "responsibilities for the broader public welfare."

This set the template for a nationwide mania of "business statesmanship" that Fortune celebrated with an editorial announcing "a great transformation, of which the world as a whole is as yet unaware" that put the "profit motive…on its last leg."

Fortune then spent the next seventy years recycling this announcement, every time the tide went out on business's popularity. In 2019, Fortune platformed IBM president Ginni Rometty for an announcement that the company was orienting its priorities to the public good: "It’s a question of whether society trusts you or not. We need society to accept what it is that we do."

The occasion for Rometty's quote was a special package on the Trump tax-cuts, a trillion-dollar gift to American big business, which lobbyists for the Business Roundtable celebrated with an announcement that American capitalism would now serve "stakeholders" (not just shareholders). Fortune celebrated this "change" as "fundamental and profound."

Fast forward five years and corporate leaders are still telling stories, this time about "stakeholder capitalism" and "ESG" – the dread "woke capitalism" that has right-wing swivel-eyed loons running around, hair afire, declaring the end of capitalism.

For Williams and Lowenstein (and me), all this ESG, DEI, and responsible capitalism is just window dressing, a distraction to keep the pitchforks and torches in people's closets, and to keep the guillotines in their packaging. The right-wing is doing a mirror-world version of liberals who freak out when OpenAI claims to have built a machine that will pauperize every worker – assuming that a PR pitch is the gospel truth, and then repeating it in criticism. Criti-hype, in other words:

https://sts-news.medium.com/youre-doing-it-wrong-notes-on-criticism-and-technology-hype-18b08b4307e5

Think of ESG: the right is freaking out that ESG is harming shareholders by leaving hydrocarbons in the ground to appease climate-addled greenies. The reality is that ESG is barely disguised greenwashing, and it's fully compatible with burning every critter that died in the Mesozoic, Cenozoic, and lo, even the Paleozoic:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/03/15/sanctions-financing/#profiteers

The reason this tactic is so successful is that Americans have also been sold another narrative: that American problems are solved by American individuals as entrepreneurs and businesspeople, not as polities or as members of a union (let alone the working class!).

This is the subject of the second book Lowenstein reviews, One Day I’ll Work for Myself: The Dream and Delusion That Conquered America, by Benjamin Waterhouse:

https://wwnorton.com/books/one-day-ill-work-for-myself/

A keystone of American narrative capitalism is the idea that the USA is a nation of small businesspeople, Jeffersonian yeoman farmsteaders of the US economy. But even a cursory examination shows that the country is ruled – economically and politically – by very large firms.

Uber sells itself as a way to be your own boss ("No shifts. No boss. No limits.") – even though it's a system where the app is your boss, and thanks to that layer of misdirection, Uber gets to be the worst conceivable boss, while its workers have no recourse in labor law:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/04/12/algorithmic-wage-discrimination/#fishers-of-men

In labor fights, Uber represents itself as the champion of innumerable "small businesspeople" who drive its unlicensed taxis. In consumer protection fights, Amazon claims to be fighting for "small businesspeople" who sell on its platform. In privacy fights, Facebook claims to represent "small businesspeople" who buy its surveillance advertising.

But large firms are actively hostile to small firms, seeing them as small-fry to be rooked or destroyed (recall that when Amazon targeted small publishers for bankruptcy-level discounts, they called the program "The Gazelle Project" and Bezos told his executives to tackle these firms "the way a cheetah pursues a sickly gazelle").

Decades of this tale have produced "a profound shift from a shared belief that individuals might come together to solve problems, into a collective faith in individual effort." America's long love-affair with rugged individualism was weaponized in the 1970s by corporations seeking to shed their regulatory obligation to workers, customers, and the environment.

As with Big Tech today, the big business lobby held up mom-and-pop businesses as the true beneficiaries of deregulation, even as they knifed these firms. A telling anecdote comes from someone who worked for the Chamber of Commerce's magazine Nation's Business: when this editor pointed out that many of the magazine's subscribers were small businesspeople and asked if they could start including articles relevant to mom-and-pops, the editor in chief said, "Over my dead body."

The neoliberal era has been an unbroken string of platitudes celebrating the small business and policies that annihilate their chances against large firms. Ronald Reagan's dewy-eyed hymns to American entrepreneurship sounded nice, but what matters is that he attempted to abolish the Small Business Administration and refused to address the 20,000 attendee "White House Conference on Small Business."

In the years since, American has sacrificed its small businesses while pulling out all the stops – bailouts and tax cuts and elite bankruptcy – to keep its largest firms growing. New regulations like Dodd-Frank were neutered in the name of saving mom-and-pop shops, even though the provisions that were cut already exempted small businesses.

Today, millions of Americans are treading water in a fetid stew of LLC-poisoning, rise-and-grind, multi-level-marketing, dropshipping and gig-work, convinced that the only way to get a better life is to pull themselves up by their bootstraps:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/04/10/declaration-of-interdependence/

Narrative does a lot of work here. The American economy runs on bubbles, another form of narrative capitalism. Take AI, a subject I sincerely wish I could stop hearing about, not least because I'm certain that 99% of that thinking is being wasted on whatever residue remains after the bubble pops:

https://locusmag.com/2023/12/commentary-cory-doctorow-what-kind-of-bubble-is-ai/

AI isn't going to do your job, but its narrative may convince your boss to fire you and replace you with a bot that can't do your job. Like what happened when Air Canada hired a chatbot to answer customer inquiries and it started making shit up about bereavement discounts that the company later claimed it didn't have to honor:

https://bc.ctvnews.ca/air-canada-s-chatbot-gave-a-b-c-man-the-wrong-information-now-the-airline-has-to-pay-for-the-mistake-1.6769454

This story's been all over the news for the past couple of days, but so far as I've seen, no one has pointed out the seemingly obvious inference that this chatbot probably ripped off lots of people. The victim here was extraordinarily persistent, chasing a refund for 10 weeks and then going to the regulator. This guy is a six-sigma self-advocate – which implies a whole bell-curve's worth of comparatively normal people who just ate the shit-sandwich Air Canada fed them.

The reason AI is a winning proposition for Air Canada isn't that it can do a customer service rep's job – it can't. But the AI is a layer of indirection – like the app that is the true boss of Uber drivers – that lets Air Canada demoralize the customers it steals from into walking away from their losses.

Nevertheless, the narrative that AI Will Change Everything Forever is powerful – more powerful than AI itself, that's for sure. Take this Bloomberg headline: "Nearly all wealth gained by world's rich this year comes from AI":

https://www.business-standard.com/world-news/nearly-all-wealth-gained-by-world-s-rich-this-year-comes-from-ai-124021600006_1.html

Dig in and you find even more narrative. The single largest beneficiary of AI stock gains last year was Mark Zuckerberg ($161B!). Zuck is American Narrative Capitalism's greatest practitioner: the guy who made billions peddling a series of lies, from "pivot to video" to "metaverse," leaping from one lie to the next just ahead of the mass stock-selloffs that wiped out lesser predators.

The Narrative Capitalism Cinematic Universe has a lot of side-plots like AI and entrepreneurship and woke capitalism, but its main narrative arc was articulated, ad nauseum, by Margaret Thatcher: "There is no alternative." This is the most important part of the story, the part that says it literally can't be otherwise. The only way to organize society is through markets, and the only way to organize markets is to leave them alone, no matter how much suffering they cause.

This is a baffling story, because it's so easily disproved. Zuck says the only way to have friends is to let him surveil you from asshole to appetite, even though he once ran Facebook as the privacy-forward alternative to MySpace, and promised never to spy on you:

https://lawcat.berkeley.edu/record/1128876

Likewise, the business leaders – and their chorus of dutiful Renfields – who insist that monopoly is the natural and inevitable outcome of any market economy just handwave away the decades during which anti-monopoly enforcement actually kept most businesses from getting too big to fail and too big to jail.

I'm no champion of market efficiency – especially not as the best and final arbiter of social and economic questions – but when I hear my comrades repeating the Thatcherite claims that all forms of capitalism necessarily degrade into monopolistic quagmires, that there is no alternative, it sounds like more criti-hype.

This is a frequent point of departure during discussions of enshittification: some people dismiss the whole idea of enshittification as "just capitalism." But we had decades of digital services that either didn't degrade, or, when they did, were replaced by superior competitors with a minimum of switching costs for users who migrated from the decaying incumbent to greener pastures.

The reality is that while there are problems with all forms of capitalism, there are different kinds of capitalist problems, and some forms of capitalism are less harmful to working people and more capable of enacting and enforcing sound policy than others.

Enshittification is what happens when the constraints on the worst impulses of companies and their investors and managers are removed. When a company doesn't have competitors, when it can capture its regulators to trample our rights with impunity, when it can enlist those regulators to shut down would-be competitors who might free us from its "walled garden," and when it can fire any worker who refuses to enact harm upon the users they serve, then that company will enshittify:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/30/go-nuts-meine-kerle/#ich-bin-ein-bratapfel

A company can be made to treat you well, even if it is run by a wicked person who sees you as a mark to be fleeced – that mustache twirler just has to be constrained – by competition, regulation, self-help and labor. He may still hate you and wish you harm, but he won't be able to act on it.

As MLK said:

It may be true that the law cannot make a man love me, religion and education will have to do that, but it can restrain him from lynching me. And I think that's pretty important also. And so that while legislation may not change the hearts of men, it does change the habits of men. And we see this every day.

[deliruousmistakes]

Let Me Take Your Pain Away (Pt. 1)

Missions don’t always go as planned, they rarely do, actually. Thing is, when they don’t, someone might pay the price with their lifes. 

But they won’t let that be Mikey’s case.

Based on @cokowiii’s ‘Just Another Day AU’

Part two here

Part three here

Supply runs are hard, it’s a slow process that tends to make easy objectives out of them, threatening to take the whole community down. Even now, after they’ve figured out how to be mostly self-sustainable, it’s very much indispensable, and each time they have to go farther and farther away in search of resources. However, every now and then, they’ll find something they overlooked in the past; this time, they seem to have found a goldmine (and a nearby one at that).

- “How come we’re only seeing it now? It’s super close.” – They were reviewing the last details of his mission. It’s nothing new and -thankfully- it shouldn’t take long: just a couple days, a week if he’s unlucky.

- “According to my research, something in there exploded, blowing up the roof and exposing the structure to the elements. The question is ‘why?’ though that I do not know, dear brother.” -Donnies eyes were shining, exited with the possibilities- “So be careful, extremely so. Now, regrettably, my current project is time-sensitive, so you go there first and scout the place. Then, if you deem it so, we’ll send a raid team.”

- “Yes, yes. I’ve done this before Dee. I’m a badass mystic warrior, I can handle it.”

- “One thing does not equate the other.”

- “Are you jealous because I’m stronger than you?”

- “Offended gasp, Michelangelo, you did not just-”

- “Cali!” - Mikey had interrupted and discarded his older brother in favour of giving a hug to his beloved husband. – “What are you doing here?”

- “A. I hate you. B. I asked him to come, as I need his help for one last test before you go.” - Answered Donnie.

- “Donieeeee.” - whining would stop neither of them.

- “Oh, well, maybe I wouldn’t have to do this if you didn’t murder my babies as a past time.” – retorted Donnie, though there was no heat behind his words.

- “It’s not on purpose, I swear.” -and it isn’t. Sometimes, his powers just aren’t compatible with his brother’s tech, making the trackers or monitors glitch or straight up die.

- “C’mon, Mikey, better safe than sorry. Let’s get this shit over with.” – persuaded Calimari as he drags a weightless Mikey to a chair. It was quick, have Cali take his vital signs and compare them with the ones on the monitor, the GPS function wasn’t so easy to test, and they’d asses it on the run.

- “Well, that’s it. You can go now. Don’t set on fire anything that isn’t a Krang.”

- “I’ll try.” – And then he stared at Cali - “Mari~”

- “What?”

- “I love you so, so much.” – A chaste kiss follows, but then their eyes don’t meet like usual; instead, Mikey is looking at their hands. Cali know he’s angsting about his death. Again.

The sight made his heart clench, so he got close in order to lick Mikey’s cheek. In response, the other let go, outraged, trying to clean his face with his hand, then proceeded to snatch the robe on Cali’s shoulders with a big, dumb smile on his face. – “Off I go.”

How he wishes he could go with him.

He marches back into the med bay, knowing that he has better things to do than wallow in self-pity. Leo and his team will be back soon, which always means an influx in patients. When they arrive, it’s shown that this time there is no exception, so he bussies himself with the work in front of him… Until he can’t.

It was sudden, from one second to the next. Something cold burned his hand, painful enough to make him drop the papers he was holding. Seeing what was wrong only made it worse. He saw the markings in his left hand. The white, form-fitting, and warm chain now was cold, loose, and had black patches all over it.

- “Cali,” -started Leo, worried tone, and getting closer to him – “what’s-” -the resistance leader froze in place, eyes wide open, but a second later he was leaving the place in a frenzy, pale and almost shoving people out of his way.

Cali figures there’s only one person he’d go to: Donnie.

- “Doctor Calimari, we need-.” - He didn’t get to hear what the request was. When he got to the exit, he could still see Leo at the end of the corridor, but he wasn’t fast enough to catch him, not anymore.

Still, he made a run for Donnie’s lab: his most likely location -and he will beat him if he’s not there-. He kept going even when he could barely breath, his muscles ached and his sight was going dark on the sides. Even so, he made it to the lab, but he couldn’t talk with how much his lungs burned and how he was about to pass out. Mikey’s remaining brothers were there, ignoring him completely.

Listening to them, he gathers that they will leave to search Mikey, who they lost contact with. Given the situation, they might agree to take him. Nonetheless, he won’t risk being told to fuck off. Thus, he plans accordingly.

Cali, waited for the right moment to hide into one of the trucks, from his place in the trunks he can’t see anything, although it shouldn’t take long for them to leave.

- “Oh, sweet Galileo, I finally get to-”

- “Donnie.”

- “Mikey, yes. Of course.” – He sets his horrid music on before flooring it, effectively launching them out of the base.

- “Puta.” – Thankfully, the noise drowned his voice. It’s even better when Leo turns turn the speaker off shortly after.

- “I just need you to keep an eye on it in case the signal comes back.” - Cali’s listening attentively, trying to collect as much information as he can.

- “Let me see if I get this straight: you two were talking, then ‘boom’, then nothing?”

- “Then you arrived, yes.”

Then they stayed silent, and Cali was left with his thoughts. He remembered talking with Mikey about their shared chains, he was right, this is agony.

- “Do you think he’s fine?” – asked Leonardo

- “Yes.”

- “But Cali’s chains-”

- “Just focus on the tablet. We’ll arrive soon.”

- “Okay…” – A pause – “Are you sure it’s working?”

- “Yes ‘Nardo, now stop talking.”

- “But it says Cali’s behind us.”

- “You put a tracker on me!?” – Shit.

- “Oh, for fuck’s sake, Cali!” - God damn it, he planned on staying hidden until they found Mikey. – “You know Donnie puts trackers on everyone! Where are you?”

- “Not everyone.” – Maybe they’ll start fighting and forget about him.

- “I stand corrected, he puts trackers on everyone he cares about. I know this, you know this, everyone does.” – He was blinded by a sudden light.  – “What were you thinking?”

- “Get closer and I’m biting your hand off.”

- “Good thing It’s a spare.”

- “It’s not. Leo, stop. I won’t fix it.”

- “Donnie, turn this thing around.”

- “Don’t you dare. Fucking hell, get you priorities straight, I won’t drop dead for going outside. Mikey needs me, or would you rather waste time, see if he dies!? Then what.” - He was screaming at the top of his lungs, as he pierced the trunk’s floor with his claws. They wouldn’t go back, they fucking couldn’t. He’d throw them out of the window first.

- “Okay. First, this -to quote you- “thing” it’s a state-of-the-art automotive engineering, have some respect. Second, the Doc’s right, we don’t know what condition Mikey’s in, its better if he’s with us.”

Leo retreated back into the copilot’s seat without talking, and after a minute Cali crawled out of the trunk into the backseats. With actual light, he could see the chain again, it was mostly black now.

None of them talked after that. Until - “The signal’s back”- said Leo, as he paled even more – “Can’t this thing go faster?”

- “Why.” – demanded Donnie, looking at the screen while driving at full speed.

- “Watch the road!”

- “Gimme that.” – Cali snatched the tablet from Leo’s trembling hands, and started reading… tachypnoea and tachycardia, but low blood pressure and low temperature… Is he bleeding out? Fuck, uh, Leo said ‘boom, then nothing’… So, traumatic injuries (fractures, stabbing), blast injuries (brain, eyes, ears, lungs, abdomen). What else, burns? Maybe he’s just really dehydrated, that might do too.

His thoughts were interrupted by a loud ringtone.

- “Hey, Honey Bunny.” - Those two are disgusting.

- “Leo? Where are you?”

- “In an impromptu mission? We think Mikey’s in trouble.” – That’s downplaying it.

- “Shit, I won’t take long then. Do you know where Cali is?”

- “In Colombia?”

- “What? No. They say he ran out after you.” – A brief pause followed - “he’s with you.”

- “I didn’t know, Yui. We can’t go back now.”

- “Leo.”

- “I know, I’m sorry. I’ll pass him over,” -he passed his communicator to Cali, who turned off the speaker.

As he talked, a screech filled the air, and he dropped the device.

- “Cali, are you okay? What’s going on?”

- “I’m fine.”

- “Are you sure? I can go there, I’ll prepare the another car.”

- “I said I’m fine, stop fussing. Donnie just ran over something.”

- “Fine...” – Cali could hear his brother thumping his tail over the phone. - “Do me a favour, stick close to Leo, okay?” - He grunted in response. – “And tell him that, if anything happens to you, I’m filing for divorce.”

- “Sounds like a plan.”

- “Fuck you, but be careful.”

- “Yeah, yeah.”

- “Cali, you better come back, okay? Preferably soon, you left a mess behind. Also, call me if you need help, and send me a message every hour to let me know you’re okay.”

- “Whatever, bye.”

- “Bye…” -And he hung up.

- “Congrats on the divorce.” - Declared Cali as he returned the communicator.

- “He didn’t say that.” – Answered Leo, defensive. Cali didn’t answer, just stared at the damp stain in Leonardo’s clothes.

- “Are you bleeding?”

- “No? Ah, I forgot.” - Fucking idiot.

- “Hah? You ‘forgot’!? Y entonces qué, ¿mágicamente va a desaparecer?” - He went back into the trunk to take out a first aid kit – “Jueputa, porqué son así, se creen indestructibles, estúpidos es lo que son. El otro es igualito.” – Then he started disinfecting, stitching, and bandaging. - “Estate quieto.” – It pained him that the chain was getting in the way.

For a while after that either reorganized the first aid kit or stared at the screen with Mikey’s vitals.

- “We’re here.” – Announced Donnie, restless. Before stepping out of the car he threw a gun at Cali – “The tracker’s not working, but his last location is fifteen meters south-east from here.” – Donnie started flying, and Leo followed promptly, carrying Cali.

By now, saying that the chain was loose was an overstatement. Cali feared that if relaxed his grip, it would simply fall off. So, he held onto it.

Mikey’s ‘last location’ was barren, with nothing living on sight. Thus, they took different paths in an attempt to cover more ground. Donnie remained on the air, while Leo went underground with Cali.

[oleworm]

Though unjustly reviewed as a film that one suffers through, or that is too brutal to watch, I enjoyed my experience of The Nightingale (2018) very much, especially the developing friendship between the characters of Billy Mangana, an Aboriginal tracker who has decided that he will no longer work with the British, and Clare, an Irish convict in unwilling service to the colonial forces—both of whom lost their families at the hands of the British and who can never go home, one because the land and his people have been destroyed through genocide and the other because she was transported with no means of return, as a consequence of the class system that drove her to commit theft. The music and the nature stand out, the sounds of Tasmanian birds and marsupials, the vegetation and the geological features—one of the most subtle horror details is the appearance of an English farming village near to the end of the film, the consolidation of British lifeways in a land that was not originally empty but that is being made so, to create scenes of country life that would not be out of place in an Austen film.

It’s interesting that though it came out the same year as The Terror (2018) and they deal with similar topics it appears to have appealed to a completely different audience. Perhaps because one work is more subtle in its criticism of imperialism, while also being an adventure story among other things, to the point where those who choose to ignore it can easily do so, while for the other it is a central theme, and the violence employed to enforce the structures of the empire is directly shown. The Nightingale has good acting and writing, proper costuming, beautiful landscapes and music, all the things that made The Terror great—maybe people never heard of it, or were put off by hypersensitive reviewers, but it does surprise me that not many have seen it. Myself included! I only watched it yesterday. But why I didn’t do so before is a subject to explore in a personal journal, not a blog post, though if I come to a conclusion I would like to share I will certainly do so.

One of the biggest contrasts between both works is how the hierarchies of the Navy and Army are treated. In The Terror, it is up to the viewer to decide how they feel about these structures and those at its head. I can’t think of any character at the top of the hierarchy who is portrayed with more negatives than positives, even Franklin—whose presence in Tasmania is alluded to, but not dug into, an Easter egg for those who have read about it—is portrayed more as a pompous fool than the overseer of a genocidal colonial government, and while Fitzjames’ exploits in China are explicitly described and he dies as a result of injuries received in the First Opium War his character is sympathetically portrayed, to the point that like with Franklin it is often treated as just a bit of historical flavour. Class and rank structures are deeply ingrained in both sets of characters, but where mutineers in The Terror were interpreted as villains for sabotaging and breaking away from the group, and imperfect leader Crozier becomes one of the best loved characters, in The Nightingale we have Lieutenant Hawkins, who while initially charming and played by a conventionally attractive actor—he even looks similar to Edward Little, a popular character in The Terror fandom—consistently brutalises not only the convicts and the Aboriginal people, but also his own men. They are both loyal and afraid, like dogs abandoned, threatened and killed when they have fulfilled their purpose or no longer perform to the level that their superior expects of them. One could say, they are in it for personal gain, but after a certain point in the film there is nothing that he can give them, and yet they persist. Why do they follow him? Why don’t they run away into the bush? When I was thinking about this question, I remembered the character of Thomas Hartnell, who after being lashed does everything he can to please Crozier, the one who gave the order, but except a few people (you know who you are!) many viewers saw this positively in contrast to Hickey who developed a hatred of Crozier and ceased to respect the hierarchical order.

There’s also the fact that we see what happened to the Tasmanians after the British arrive, but we only see the beginning of what will happen to the Inuit. At the time that The Terror ends, only a few of the many search-and-rescue expeditions have made it to the Arctic, whose explorations led to the establishment of a stronger European presence in the North, with all that it involved.

So what was it? 126 white men syndrome, which makes this show attractive to people with an especial interest in men? Are more realistic portrayals of imperialism and colonialism too uncomfortable? Since many fandom participants are women, is it too heavy to think that women can be—and regularly were—assaulted under such circumstances? Are we not too different from the Reddit men who love adventures and the friends we made along the way, to the detriment of other themes important to the story? You decide. For me it’s a little bit of everything.