#rules are fake and your bosses are mostly idiots

[alliswyattonthewesternfront]

it is so easy to reduce payments or just straight up delete balances in any kind of healthcare job. anything that's under 5 or 10k (depending on the size of the org) is just water under the bridge to these people. it's the insurance companies and assorted subsidies that keep the lights on, not patient payments. if you're in a position to send a patient a bill and you don't just make it go away, you are a coward.

honestly i should try and get a job at a payday loan place. especially if i only stay for like 6 months, i bet i could liberate so many people from the yoke of their debtors. maybe that'll be my next move, we will see.

[year2000electronics]

PIXELS: Earth but the Video Game Aliens are Self-Aware

In the year 1982, a video game tournament is held. The reason? The victors will have their footage included in a series of tapes being sent to space. The winners and losers of this tournament is where our story begins!

Gordon Freeman, who came second place in his final match (Donkey Kong), is now your average run-of-the-mill geek squad guy. He works to provide for his son, Joshua, who’s a fan of modern video games (”you pretend you’re the guy and you don’t wanna die!”) 

Gordon goes to Dr. Darnold Pepper’s house to install a new TV. The two of them hit it off (they do because the original movie hates women and I do not.), but Darnold thinks Gordon’s following him when they both head to the White House.

He’s still friends with his childhood best friend, Tommy Coolatta, who’s now the President. (Bear with me here.) Tommy calls Gordon to the White House because their base in Guam was attacked last night, with alien formations that look remarkably similar to Galaga! 

Gordon gets excused from the meeting about Guam thanks to general tomfoolery. As he’s heading home, he realizes there’s a new guest in his van.

Forzen, nicknamed “The Wonder Kid” when arcade gaming was in its prime, was a boy genius whose skills rivalled Gordon’s. Unfortunately, he’s an even bigger loser nerd than Gordon and enjoys taping Baywatch reruns and Irate Gamer videos. Also, he hid in Gordon’s van because he’s quirky like that.

He shows Gordon a prerecorded video that interrupted his channel surfing.

Apparently, a race of aliens have received the tapes, and they wrongly believe that the footage of video games are footage of real warriors, and therefore a declaration of war. They communicate exclusively using old 80s VHS tapes, the only unifying element between them being a threat of war and a few cameos with a strange-looking man in them.

With another attack being launched on the Taj Mahal, Gordon and Forzen realize what’s going on. The aliens have given them 3 ‘lives’- and they’ve already wasted two. 

Since the games are the specific 1982 versions, Gordon and Forzen are the only ones who know the patterns well enough to teach the Navy. (..Ignoring the obvious power fantasy here).

Darnold shows off to Tommy, Gordon and Forzen the new light cannons he invented, which can dissolve the light cubes the game warriors are made of. 

The fight is taken to Hyde Park, where the Navy tries and fails to fight Centipede. Gordon and Forzen take the front lines, successfully winning and getting the humans a trophy of their victory. (...It’s Duck Hunt, and some random old man gets it.)

Now that Tommy’s realized the loser nerd gamers are the only ones who can possibly stand against this alien menace, they give them cool jumpsuits and call them Arcaders. Also, they need to talk to the man who beat Gordon at Donkey Kong all those years ago.

Bubby is an old man. Gordon is a normal man. An adult bragged about beating a teen in video games.

This says a lot about the type of person Bubby is.

He calls himself “the Fireblaster”, and says he’s still the best, calling Gordon “second place” all the time.

The three of them (along with Darnold because the original setup was the creator of Pac-Man was there too but I think Darnold should have fun.) head to New York City, where a giant Pac-Man is destroying the city. To defeat Pac-Man, you need ghosts, so the four of them used modified Mini Coopers.

Gordon gets his arm bitten off by Pac-Man because he tried to reason with it like an idiot, which leaves him hiding in an alley for most of the chase. Forzen gets taken out when they realize Pac-Man has access to power pellets, as does Darnold, but with Bubby’s lightning-fast driving skills, he manages to beat Pac-Man. Unfortunately, he drives into the river, leaving only Gordon. Gordon fakes Pac-Man out by driving up a parking garage and waiting for Pac-Man’s 10-second power pellet to run out.

They won! As a gift, the aliens bestow a fighter from Punch-Out!! (Dr. Coomer. He’s not really in punch out but work with me here) upon them as their second trophy. 

The president throws a celebratory gala! Forzen gets to sing his heart out, Gordon and Darnold hang out, Tommy decides Coomer is the most powerful old man...

But then the aliens come on screen, enraged. Apparently, they ‘broke the rules of warfare’, therefore forfeiting, and they say they’ll come to destroy Earth.

Everyone is confused, and we learn thanks to Joshua, Bubby wrote cheat codes on his sunglasses and he’s a big fat cheater.

...Unfortunately the aliens also take Joshua as a Trophy.

Bubby skips town, and the world has gone to shit. 

Everything looks shitty, until Tommy saves Gordon from a Creature with his crane game skills of old. He’s suited up to become an Arcader himself!

Forzen volunteers to fight the aliens on the ground, as does Bubby, when he comes back, but Darnold, Tommy, Gordon and Coomer go to face the mothership. In there, they learn that the aliens have a boss who’s taken a human form and calls himself Benrey (he mostly takes the form to mock the humans, though, also he’s been appearing in the little 80′s clip shows the aliens use to communicate). He challenges Gordon to a final match- Donkey Kong. The irony.

Gordon manages to beat Donkey Kong, saving the world and also getting his son back! Cool. 

Tommy makes a peace treaty with the aliens, who agree to leave, but Benrey and Coomer decide to stay on Earth, because it’s cool and funny. 

Cue 80s ending track.

[randomficsandshit]

Jily Fic Rec Masterlist

*NONE OF THESE FICS ARE MINE*

Please do not forget. I have not written any of these. I’m simply recommending favorites of mine over the years. If you love something, send the author you love, not me :) and if any links don’t work, send me a message and I’ll see what I can do, this is a pretty old list

A Wizard Walks Into A Bar Word Count: 5k+ 

Contrary to popular belief, it's not always the man who does all the chasing.

Pepper Up, Peppermint Word Count: 3k+

Sixth year Lily is home, sick, at Christmas. Can a visit from her friends cheer her up?

Your Eyes Are Like Starlight Now Word Count: 1k+ “The first snow is magical, you can’t deny it,” and Lily grumbled, but she did have to agree. It was beautiful. Of course, that moment lasted exactly thirty seconds before James squashed a snowball into her face.

Sing A Reckless Serenade 

Word Count: 7k+

After an almost minute of silence, she finally relents, “I need you guys to help me with a work thing.” A hefty pause. And then- “What kind of work thing?” James asks, warily. Lily takes a breath. It seemed like a brilliant idea last night, when she was more than three drinks under, but now in the light of day it just seems… pathetic. Still though, she needs help, and needs it soon, so she finds herself blurting out: “I need you to fake date me for a week.”

Three Swipes, You're Out

Word Count: 4k+

Part 1 of Shiver Me Tinders series

Sports star James Potter tries to pick Lily up on tinder. Lily Evans, a dedicated not sports fan is offended by the idea that someone thinks she wouldn't recognize James Potter's face. She laughs about it with her friends at a bar, until James Potter, who also frequents that bar, comes over to clarify that nope, he's on tinder, and he's definitely hitting on her.

Making Spirits Bright

Word Count: 2k+ 

Part 2 (final part) of Shiver Me Tinders series 

She should have expected it to be hard, dating a celebrity, but somehow she and James make it work.

Air For Free

Word Count: 2k+

When you’re in the company of James Potter you almost forget about the world around you.

What Are You Doing On Christmas Eve?

Word Count: 13k+

"I kinda told them all I was already seeing someone." "Kinda?" Lily eyed him deceptively, "Who?" "You." Christmas, Fake Dating 

Rekindling 

Word Count: 7k+

He passes her the cardboard box and their fingers brush again only this time Lily doesn't pull away so quickly. This time Lily lingers, if only to be thrown back into another time when James was her everything. If he was willing, she'd let him be her everything again.

Isn’t It Obvious?

Word Count: 7k+

Rewrite of The Prince’s Tale except it’s James Potter 

Meet The Potter’s

Word Count: 8k+

"we're having a water fight but your white shirt is see through now and I'm distracted? oops?"

Early Morning Toast Brigade 

Word Count: 2k+

"Is that toast?" she said, catching sight of a plate of the stuff that sat on the floor, next to James's invisibility cloak, the wonders of which she had been introduced to the summer previous. "Nah," he replied. "It's regular bread, with a suntan." "What?" "A suntan," James repeated. "It's highly unlikely that you've ever experienced one first hand, being ginger and all, so I won't blame you if you don't know what it is." "Shut up. Where'd you get it?" "Oh, my skin is naturally sallow." "I'm talking about the toast, idiot." "Won it off Dumbledore in a duel." "James!"

Two Sides Of The Same Coin

Word Count: 8k+

There are those who claim that Lily Evans couldn't possibly love James Potter as much as he loves her - including, on occasion, James Potter himself - but they couldn't be more wrong if they claimed that the moon was made of cheese.

Mother Deer

Word Count: 7k+

Euphemia Potter is the unequivocal boss of everyone, including and most especially her son, and if the sweet, bright-eyed redhead who frequents her coffee shop doesn't know that yet, she's about to find out.

Hijacking

Word Count: 3k+

She isn't certain how it started, why it continues, or where her moral decency has gone, but sometime around February, James and Lily start hijacking each other's rounds in order to sneak off and shag in entirely inappropriate Hogwarts locales.

Elevator Love Song

Word Count: 15k+

James unexpectedly finds himself trapped in a dodgy apartment elevator with Lily Evans.

Try, Trial, and Try Again

Word Count: 6k+

Spell engineering has never been so complicated than when an afternoon of trying and trialing leaves James and Lily in an interesting position.

Questions And Answers

Word Count: 5k+

The simple question of whether or not they're dating doesn't exactly have a simple answer. Seventh Year Jily.

*Sunshine In My Eyes

Word Count: 93k+

Mr. and Mrs. Evans are killed when Lily's only a girl, and she's supposed to go to a home with her sister. Instead, a relative they didn't know they had comes to collect them, and introduces Lily to manners, magic, and a life that's just the slightest bit different from the life she was supposed to live. Or, an AU in which Minerva McGonagall raises Lily.

Key Limes

Word Count: 23k+

In which Academy Award winner Lily Evans discovers the periphery of internet fandom and the mysteries of Prince James’s gold star system.

Red Velvet Ribbon

Word Count: 7k+

Lily sighed and ran an agitated hand through her hair, all the while glancing up at the mistletoe in the doorway. Those spindly branches and little green leaves, all bundled up in a red velvet ribbon, so falsely innocent and romantically devious… Lily felt that old James Potter tingle shoot up her spine and – as custom would dictate – she couldn't shake it off. God damn Christmas.

Wishing You All A Good Evening

Word Count: 46k+

Despite his popularity on campus, James Potter has had a hard time getting the attention of one, Lily Evans. Lily's not impressed by him and his arrogance, but James is quite impressed with everything Lily does. After the blunder that was their first meeting, James is determined to change her mind and she's determined not to let him. College!AU

Meeting The Marauders

Word Count: 49k+

Or how Mr Evans was forced to spend Christmas with four raving lunatics, had his life turned upside down and was forced to make his precious daughter go on a date. (mostly like this one because I think it was clever doing the POV of Lily’s dad)

Another Damn Grocery Store Fic, Okay?

Word Count: 9k+

Lily runs her father's grocery store and the guy she remembers from her childhood moves back into town. Thanks to petals for the brilliant prompt -- "grocery store AU where Lily works the counter and he keeps buying things just to talk to her"

I Can’t Read Your Mind (Though I’m Trying All The Time) 

Word Count: 40k+

The one where Lily is just trying to be a good friend by offering to be James's fake girlfriend for a weekend at the Potter Family Extravaganza. Really. Only, James just so happens to be in love with her, so this can't be any good for his health, and Lily is oblivious to the fact that this might not be so platonic for her, either.

Fate, Automobiles & Other Disasters

Word Count: 15k+

Lily is quite content owning her little flower shop and feuding with next door neighbor Sirius Black and his errant parking skills, until his best mate, Oscar-winning actor James Potter, moves in.

The Incident In The Library

Word Count: 3k+

Lily Evans has been distracted lately…and it’s all because of James Potter and his stupid, unbuttoned shirt. Hardly any fluff, but plenty of shirtless James for everybody.

I Think It’s About Old Friends

Word Count: 7k+

James and Lily, and seven years of Christmas.

Petalpocalypse

Word Count: 20k+

What do you get when you combine two classroom enemies, only one chemistry book, the blizzard of the decade, and drinking games? The tropiest Jily fic of all time!

I Love You (ain’t that the worst thing you ever heard?)

Word Count: 21k+

He didn’t picture Lily wandering alone, he never imagined the dullness that seemed to overcome her usually vivacious eyes, never fantasized about the way she looked at him straight on and asked, “Want to do something stupid?”

He, apparently, was something stupid.

(Summer before seventh year, failed friends with benefits).

Quidditch Club

Word Count: 14k+

The first rule of Quidditch Club is 'no falling for a student's mum'. Jily AU. Single Mum AU. Smut if you squint.

[richiefuckfacetozier]

Chapter 2: Funny Feeling

Story: Why Can’t This Be Love

Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6

Art of Eddie and Richie by @whatidoisxsecret

Located on Archive of Our Own

___

Eddie’s leg was bouncing up and down quickly as he sat in the semi-empty Thai food restaurant. Mike and him always had lunch at on Wednesday. It started after Mike’s dad died for a source of comfort. Not that Eddie felt qualified in any way to comfort someone after the death of a parent when he could barely remember his own father, but Mike meant a lot to him. He needed someone who would listen. Who would not change the subject because they were uncomfortable like Bill, or make an inappropriate joke like Richie, or avoid the topic of fathers altogether like Beverly had every right to do. Ben used to come before his big promotion, it had him traveling too much now. That left, Eddie, who would listen, nod, give some thoughts, but mostly just be there for Mike.

They kept up their lunch dates long after Will Hanlon’s death because it was special to them. If there were a couple of dishes they both wanted, they would get them and share. Mike always got a dessert that Eddie would mooch from. Spending one on one time with Mike was easy, never worrisome.

For once, Eddie was especially nervous today because he had to lie to Mike. Lying to his friends was not his forte. He knew how to lie or fudge the truth, it was an important ability he developed living under his mother’s strict roof. The question wasn’t whether he could do it or not but the guilt might eat at him.

This was all Richie’s FAULT. Last night when he suggested they be each other’s dates to Ben and Beverly’s wedding, Eddie was so caught off guard that he found himself agreeing. Well, not exactly saying yes, but he certainly didn’t say no. He told Richie he would think about it. The idea was actually brilliant, the only problem would be convincing their friends they were dating and not just using a loophole in the ‘Eddie and Richie must have wedding dates’ rule.

He wasn’t even necessarily nervous to pretend to be Richie’s date. In fact, he found himself a little exhilarated at the prospect. Their conversation about how to handle this didn’t get very far, but Richie said they would have to start dropping hints to the losers club immediately. It wouldn’t be enough to be each other’s date, they must convince everyone they liked each other as more than best friends. It was this part that sent him into a bit of a spiral.

“Sorry, I’m late!” Mike came flying into him for a quick hug, almost tipping him out of the chair, then sat across picking up his menu. Eddie looked at the tired, yet caffeine-fueled human in front of him fondly. Mike was a handsome and extremely good-hearted man. It always surprised him that Mike was single, but Eddie had a feeling he was looking for the kind of true love his parents’ possessed. Which wouldn’t be easy to replicate as the Hanlons were a beautiful couple.

“You’re fine.” Eddie waved him off. “I’ve just been suffering from the boredom of waiting for you.”

Mike rolled his eyes, “So much suffering. I bet you were texting Richie the whole time.”

“No, I wasn’t!” his eyes flashed in irritation. He hadn’t been, nevermind that normally he would be texting Richie. Right now he felt a little nauseous thinking about it. “My life doesn’t revolve around him.”

Mike laughed, “No need to bite my head off.” Eddie rolled his eyes but begrudgingly smiled.

“So why were you late?” Eddie asked.

“Boss needed me to show a new employee around the library.” Mike picked up the menu. “She seems nice.”

“Nice?” Eddie raised an eyebrow in surprise. His friend tended to be very private about people he might find attractive. It was vital he stayed cautious, if not also a bit nosy, when trying to ask questions. He hesitated then, “Are you interested in her?” Then immediately regretted it as that was probably too much too fast. So much for cautious.

Mike glanced over the top of his menu clearly debating how much to reveal. His dark eyes were steady with internal conflict. “Maybe? She’s a knockout that’s for sure. So how was dinner last night? Any new news?”

He nodded still wanting to push the subject further but he had the job of leaving hints about his own fake dating life. He considered how to do this then a crazy idea came to him.

Without meeting Mike’s eyes, Eddie started by saying, “Mike...I think I am gay.” He couldn’t believe he just said those words aloud.

A gasp and smile came from Mike’s lips, “Oh wow! I…” He was completely thrown for what to say. “Thank you for sharing that. How do you feel?”

“A little sick to be honest.” Eddie groaned. He should not have done that. It was a mistake. Suddenly, his breathing picked up in a telltale sign of a panic attack emerging.

“Hey, hey…that’s ok.” Mike reassured him gently, he reached forward to pat Eddie’s hand comfortingly.

“I told Richie too.” Eddie gasped out, breathing evening back out with his friend’s kindness. Silence ensued as Mike clearly tried to control his facial expressions. This was Eddie’s chance, he gulped heavily. “I’m happy Richie knows.”

Mike hesitated then said, “Oh yeah?”

Eddie nodded, “Ya know, because he’s...he’s Richie.” He’s my person. But Eddie didn’t want to say that out loud and offend Mike, someone just as important. “I don’t know how I am going to tell Ben and Bev when they JUST told Richie and me about this ‘Have to take a date to their wedding’ deal.” Eddie bit the bottom of his lip. “Thanks for not warning me by the way.” He said sarcastically, removing his hand from underneath Mike’s.

Mike opened his mouth to defend himself but the waitress swooped in to grab their food and drink orders. She gave Eddie a wink when he asked for his meal, which reddened his cheeks a bit in embarrassment. People flirting with him always made him uncomfortable. Except with Richie, he was the only person Eddie could laugh off the flirting easily. Most likely from years of dealing with it.

After she walked away, Mike turned to Eddie with a determined expression, “You had to know they would ask something like this of you. Stanley’s wedding was bad enough then Bill’s, you both need someone to rein you in.”

A spark of rage ignited within Eddie, he was always easily angered when pushed. “Those were rough fucking times for me! And last year was hard as fuck on Richie with the death of his dad. You should understand of all people.”

Mike’s lips pursed and he spoke very slowly, “I do understand, Eddie. But this day is about Beverly and Ben. They get to ask whatever the fuck they want from any of us.”

“It’s embarrassing, Mike.” Eddie’s voice was rising in pitch and volume as a familiar panic started to set in. “Forcing me to get a date and, in turn, now I have to come out to them to explain why the person I am bringing will be a guy. It wasn’t fair of them to put me and Richie on the spot like that! You knew! You should have said something.” As all of this rolled out of Eddie’s mouth, a crazy dawning hit him. He might actually...be...no...he can’t be. Can he?

Mike listened carefully before sighing loudly. He looked away from Eddie then back at him. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”

Eddie nodded. “That’s all I wanted to hear.”

They got interrupted by the waitress coming with their food and drinks. The meals smelled incredible but neither of them touched their food. Mike clearly wanted to say more from the tense way his jaw twitched.

“I really didn’t think about it, Eddie. I’m sorry you were put in that position.” Mike gave the saddest expression that made his tired face look even more burdened.

Eddie was never able to stay mad at his friends for long. “You apologized. Good enough for me.” And almost as a sign of peace, Eddie reached over and took a spoonful of Mike’s Pad Thai. “So tell me about the library girl.”

Mike beamed at him. “Her name is Carole Danners…”

Eddie marched forward like a soldier ready for war. He got to the door of Richie’s apartment and knocked. There was a thump and yell from inside. Richie must have been napping then fell off the couch. Which made sense since he worked the night shift at the Radio station and did standup many nights.

Eddie was losing his resolve with every passing second. It was taking far too long for Richie to answer. His feet started carrying him away from the stoop then the door flung open.

Richie’s hair was messy, sticking out everywhere. Eddie was annoyed at how his cheeks warmed seeing Richie shirtless and wearing only boxers.

Now, he isn’t blind or an idiot, Eddie knows Richie is really good looking. He’s known the guy through braces, the growth spurt, his skin clearing and the mercy of puberty turning him into a beautiful man. Richie works out to keep fit for industry standards, he has a soft stomach from still eating junk and too much beer, his eyes are ocean blue behind stylish glasses, jaw defined, and overall unfair attractiveness.

Richie leaned on the doorframe with a smirk. “You going to stand there and drool over my sexiness or come inside?”

Eddie frowned, shoved past him and into the apartment. “I wasn’t drooling you turd. And you aren’t sexy, you’re a nerd.”

“So what do I owe the pleasure of your company, besides the obvious of enjoying your company always.” Richie plopped down on his couch and patted the seat next to him. Except Eddie didn’t feel like sitting yet. He went over to the record that was playing a Queen song. Richie always had music playing, he could barely go 30 minutes without some kind of sound surrounding him. It was particularly bad in school when he would finish tests quickly then bring out his headphones to try listening to something. Teachers hated it.

“I want to go as each others’ dates for the wedding.” He heard Richie get up from the couch, then a hand came on his shoulder to turn him around. Those blue eyes searched his own greyish-brown ones for a minute. The scrutiny made Eddie feel exposed, so he shrugged him off changing the record to a song by Aretha Franklin. “I’m serious. Whatever it takes for us to go together, I will do it.”

This seemed enough for Richie. “Fuck yes! This will be so fun.”

“It won’t be fun to lie.” Eddie groaned.

Richie ignored this as he said, “We need to plan. It has to be convincing. Some of our friends may not believe us.”

“I told Mike I am gay.” Eddie blurted out. Richie’s eyes widened in shock, which looked huge behind his thick glasses. His big mouth opened in a dumb gaped way, “And he fucking believed me which I feel says something about me that I am not sure I want to tackle at the moment.”

“Oh shit,” Richie laughed and gave an air of completely impressed. “No, you fucking didn’t!”

“Yeah, I fucking DID. He sat there and was proud of me.” Eddie paused. “Richie, do I give off gay vibes?”

“Er…” Richie shifted from one foot to the other, while rubbing the back of his neck. “How should I know?”

“Bowers used to call us faggots all the time…”

“Eds, that was just one of the few words in Bowers’ vocabulary. You can’t possibly take it seriously.”

Eddie studied Richie for a second longer. “You're probably right. I’m overthinking this.”

“Definitely. No more thinking.”

“You do enough lack of thinking for both of us," Eddie stated, to which Richie barked out a laugh. "Ok. What do we do?”

Richie frowned in confusion, “What do we do what?”

“About pretending to date!” Eddie felt small and vulnerable. This situation was not ideal for him, either of them. He couldn’t put his finger on exactly why so many hang-ups were emerging, him and Richie messed with their friends all the time. This felt different, more dangerous, disrespectful maybe or...too real perhaps.  

Richie must’ve sensed Eddie was in his head as he slung a long arm around his shoulders leading them to the couch.

“So, first we have to pretend to date,” Richie informed him. This reminder made Eddie grimace. Going as wedding dates was one thing but actively dating would be a challenge. “It’s the only way to convince them it’s genuine and not a trick.”

“Dating to go to one wedding together is risky, Rich. What if you find someone you are actually interested in?”

“Eds, you know my track record is all over the place. I’ve never held a girlfriend for more than a couple of months.”

“You dated Sandy for 3 years and lived with her for 2 and a half.” Eddie stated bitterly.

“Right, blocked Sandy out,” said Richie, obviously lying. He rarely ever brought her up and never talked about why they broke up. Eddie always figured she thought Richie wasn’t mature enough. Whenever the subject of marriage came up, he used to make a joke about them being too young or that she wouldn’t want to marry him. Until one day she stopped him in front of everyone and said she did want to get married so what did he have to say about that. They broke up the next day. Eddie never told Richie he was happy about that break up because he knew it wouldn’t go over well, but Sandy always tried to change Richie. To do that to the most immovable force in Eddie’s life was unforgivable in his book. “Anyway, don’t worry about me. But if you want to date someone within the next year, speak now or forever hold your peace.”

Eddie shook his head aggressively, “Definitely not up to actually dating someone.”

Richie placed his hand over his heart. “Hurtful.”

“Asshole.” Eddie grumbled and poked Richie’s forehead hard.

He rubbed the spot but smiled fondly. “I’ll be your practice subject for your future soulmate.” The sentiment didn’t reach Richie’s eyes. Probably because Richie doesn’t believe in soulmates or something.

“Alright,” Eddie took a deep breath, “Should we make rules?”

Richie ran a hand through his hair making it stick up more. “Like what?”

He fidgeted uncomfortably on the couch, he toed off his shoes, then leaned back bringing his feet up. “Like ‘If we start developing feelings, we end it.’.”

He couldn’t be sure but he swore Richie looked at his lips before saying, “What makes you think we will develop feelings for each other?”

Eddie stared at the small burn in Richie’s couch instead of his eyes. To this day, Beverly has never admitted that the burn is from her leaving a lit cigarette down for too long. Everyone convinced Richie he burned his own couch when drunk and trying to light up a cig. The lie has been going on since college, far too long, so none of the losers can ever tell him. It’s one of the only secrets Eddie keeps from Richie.

He decided to ignore Richie's question saying, "You make up a rule now."

"Er..." Richie thought for a little bit then, "‘Kissing in public to prove it is fine, but not in private’?"

"AND NO TONGUE!" Eddie insisted. "I used to hate when Myra wanted to french kiss. She of all people should know how many germs are in a mouth. More than a toilet!"

"Ya really had a rockin' affair there with Myra the hydra. Didn't ya, Eds." Richie was smirking.

“Also, ‘We cannot tell anyone or any of the losers no matter what’.” said Eddie with a bit of warning tone thrown into his voice.

“I’d be more worried about YOU not being able to tell anyone.” Richie lightly hit Eddie’s leg. “You’re the one who can’t keep a secret for shit.”

“I haven’t told a soul that you were my first kiss at 11!” Eddie argued.

“Yeah, cause it’s embarrassing as fuck. Actually, we can have that be an anecdote now!” Richie said excitedly. “Thank god, that secret was fucking eating me alive.”

Eddie laughed a belly-busting laugh. Richie had this way about him, he could diffuse the most awkward situations. Deciding to do this was about as awkward as it could get with them. When Eddie’s laughter subsided, he asked, “So how did we start dating? This is also weird because it’s going from secret dating to dating. We will need solid stories.”

Richie leaned back on the couch and thought about it for a bit. “Ok. I got it. We can literally blame it on Beverly and Ben. They forced us to bring dates, you come out of the closet to everyone which in turn gets me thinking differently about you. So I make a move and…”

“Why do you get to make the first move? And why do I have to come out of the closet to everyone?!”

“I’m more ambitious than you and you keep fewer secrets, so you have to come out first. Also, you already fake came out to Mike, so the rest should be easy.”

“But I’m bolder in my actions!” Eddie surprised himself with that one. But he was getting to know himself better lately, and one of the things he prided in was taking action when necessary. “Case in point, coming out to people, so I could’ve made the first move!”

“Fine. How about, we both drank too much one night and started making out but have no idea who kissed who first because we both just went at it. Sound good?”

“Yes,” Eddie nodded. “And...um...we didn’t want to tell anyone because we had no idea if it was a one-time thing or like something real.”

Richie bounced a little in his seat enjoying the storytelling. “AND! We didn’t want to ruin the friend dynamic without being sure it worked.”

Eddie’s stomach felt queasy talking about this. He wanted to be excited like Richie, usually, when they schemed he was all in, but this time he wanted to vomit. The stakes were so high. “Perfect. Alright, let's decide who finds out first.”

“Bill should catch us,” Richie suggested. “Everyone will believe him. Also, the look on his dumb face will be beyond fucking worth it.”

“Don’t call Bill dumb, Richie.” Eddie chastised. Richie rolled his eyes, which he let slide. “I agree about him catching us though. He’s most likely to confront the situation too. Ben, Mike, and even Beverly might keep it to themselves.”

“In general, we should drop hints like ‘I think I like someone but I don’t want to say who’ or ‘I’m hooking up with this cutie who has an ass you can slap day and ni…’”

Eddie smacked the side of Richie’s face with his foot, knocking off his glasses, “No jokes about my ass!” Richie hit him in the chest because he couldn’t see Eddie properly. Eddie launched himself toward Richie sitting on his stomach, knocking the air out of him. Eddie grabbed a couch pillow shoving it harshly in Richie’s face. He tried to fling Eddie off but couldn’t get a proper grip on him. He stopped struggling and tapped Eddie’s leg asking to be free.

Eddie paused realizing one flaw in the plan. He removed the pillow, hyper-aware of Richie’s hand still on his thigh but he should probably get used to the touching. “There is only one person I’m super worried about believing us.”

Their eyes met ominously as they said at the same time, “Stanley.”

___________

Notes:

Leaving me a comment gives me the magic to write moreeeeee. Or come say hi in my ask box. If you catch a typo let me know!

Taglist: @sam-i-am2468 @slashpalooza @trashrichie @frankeeenstein @eds-kas @jem-carstairs-is-perfection @roobarrtrashmouth @hypnoidvoid @imeddie @reddieforlove @plethoraoffandoms @dangerouspotatox @pan-ini @sarah011@maximusfracker @callme-eds @vinnosint @02styles94 @justcallme-trashmouth @twistedbutcute

If it is crossed out then the tag didn’t work! Let me know if you have another tumblr you want it to go to. 

[thrashton]

Soaring Light (chapter four, elu)

Name: Soaring Light Fandom: Skam france Pairing: Lucas Lallemant/Eliott Demaury Tags: assassin!au, falling in love, angst, hurt/comfort Summary: Don’t get attached, do not engage in any physical contact… The list of rules were long, but Lucas had never been the one to follow orders. In fact, he might have broken all of them in just a week, all because of the piercing eyes staring at him from the assignment in his hands, and the charming, mysterious boy they belonged to. Chapter summary: Lucas is walking on thin ice; his date with Eliott threatening not only his life, but the people he loves' as well.

prologue

chapter one

chapter two

chapter three

OR: click the soaring-light tag in the tags below.

CHAPTER FOUR.

Lucas had no idea how long they were just talking. He’d neveR had a problem with social interactions before, but everything just had this amazing flow with Eliott. Every silence was comfortable, his stupid jokes weren’t rushed and he never had to force a smile on his lips. Nor did Eliott seem to fake any of his emotions, his small gasps and humming in agreement to Lucas’ stupid comments seemed genuine and his laughs were loud and filled with a kind of happiness Lucas hadn’t heard in a long time.

Eliott was the definition of a sunshine. Lucas could swear if he googled his name a picture of the sun would appear as first result. His smile was out of this world and lit up the entire room. Lucas couldn’t take his eyes off him even if he wanted to; which he absolutely did not. Not even the dogs managed to draw his attention away.

Eliott told Lucas he was working at a café in the other side of town which is where he got to know Alison. He lived alone and had no relatives left nearby. It was a bit sad, Eliott admitted, but he loved Paris so much he couldn’t even consider moving. Then he winked and told Lucas he made the right choice, because now they were sitting there together. Lucas pretended he had no idea he was blushing like an idiot. Eliott told him a lot about himself, but never anything below the surface. He told him the basics; work, family, friends, but he was careful not to go too deep into anything. Lucas didn’t mention it, but he did notice.

Lucas told Eliott he had no job at the moment, but it was fine because he had a lot of savings. He didn’t want to lie to him, and that was the closest to the truth he could bring himself to tell. He knew he was doing the exact same thing as Eliott did; only scratching the surface of who he really was. Really, it shouldn’t matter what he said because Eliott would be too dead to tell anyone about it.

Eliott hummed quietly and stirred his hot chocolate with the slightly too short spoon. “So”, he said, glancing up at him through long lashes, “what kind of music do you like?”

Lucas shrugged. He hated that question, the answers were too many. “Old rock, I suppose”, he said, “like, the Clash, Nirvana?”

“Ah”, Eliott nodded, a smirk playing on his lips, “old school. Didn’t expect that.”

“What did you expect?” Lucas pressed, leaning forwards, elbows resting on the table.

Eliott pretended not to notice. “Maybe modern house music? EDM?”

“Well, it’s not bad, but maybe not what I’d put on if I got to choose.”

“Interesting. I’ll remember that.”

Lucas smiled softly. “What about you?”

“You wouldn’t know it.”

“Try me.”

“Dubstep, mostly.”

Lucas pouted. Okay, alright. Maybe not the answer he expected but he could work with it. Life wasn’t ruined because Eliott had the worst taste of music in the world, he could fix this. He could teach him.

I mean, Lucas thought, if he was going to die he might as well die with a good taste of music.

“You don’t look impressed”, Eliott grinned at Lucas laughed shortly.

“I mean, we could work with it.”

“Aha, work with it? You think it’s bad?”

“No, no, maybe I’ve just heard the wrong kind? Maybe you need to teach me.”

Eliott’s grin turned into a smirk and he tilted his head slightly, “I can teach you a lot of things.”

Lucas was just about to joke his comment away when his eyes dropped to his lips and his throat went dry. Eliott had his lips slightly parted, and his tongue darted out to wet his lower lip. Lucas swallowed thickly.

“Okay”, he got out.

Eliott chuckled. “Maybe that’s the wrong line to say in the middle of empty field? Wouldn’t want you to think I’m weird.”

“Too late for that”, Lucas told him, “I thought you were gonna kill me the moment we left central Paris.”

“That would be suspicious”, Eliott pointed out, “traffic cams would have seen us together. I’d get caught too quickly.” He winked at him.

Lucas rolled his eyes, “fair enough. I’ll put criminal mastermind on the list of your personality traits.”

“You got a list?”

“I do now.”

“Touché”, Eliott laughed at him. “How’s everyone, by the way?”

“Everyone?” Lucas suspected he knew what Eliott meant, but he asked anyways.

“Yeah, like Manon, Yann, Basile? What’s her name… Daphné?”

“They’re good! They’re good. Yann, Basile and Manon was at the bar with us, uh, with me I mean. You could’ve said hi.”

Eliott nodded. “I know, I was going to. But then I saw you.”

“You recognized me?”

Eliot hesitated shortly, but long enough for Lucas to notice. “Maybe I wouldn’t have if you didn’t like that video of me.”

Lucas groaned loudly, happy his hair was long enough to cover his red ears. “Can we not?”

“Why were you looking me up?” He didn’t sound accusing, his tone was genuinely interested.

“I wasn’t”, Lucas stared down what was left of his hot chocolate. “You showed up on my recommended-feed.”

“Oh.” Eliott sounded disappointed.

“Yeah.”

For the first time in the almost two hours they had been sitting there just talking, the silence felt thick. Lucas was sure Eliott knew he was lying.

“Well, do you wanna leave?”

“Do you?”

Eliott rolled his eyes. “Come on, let’s take a walk?”

Lucas followed him out through the empty stable. The sun was still standing high, the cloud free sky showing him what a real summer day should look like. The air around them was cool enough for a slight shiver to run down his spine as Eliott pushed the door open and let Lucas walk past him.

They walked in silence for a while, taking the long way around the barn. It was beautiful; calm, and Lucas could absolutely imagine putting a house up on the fields and live there for the rest of his life. Trying not to get lost in his own wishes, he tried to come up with something to say but everything he thought of sounded dumb in his head.

It was hard to concentrate when his inner angel and demon were having a full on fight, one of them trying to remind him of that he needed to kill this guy or he’d probably get in trouble himself, and the other one responding with but we like him! which wasn’t even an argument so why that side was winning, Lucas had no fucking clue.

His phone started to buzz in his pocket. “Sorry”, he mumbled, but he knew he had to take the call when he saw Manon’s name on the screen. “Yeah, hi.”

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

Lucas pressed his lips together. Okay, what did he do now? “I don’t know, you tell me?”

“You’re on a date, with Eliott?”

“Yes?” Lucas pressed his phone closer to his ear to stop the sounds from slipping out. He had a feeling Eliott wasn’t supposed to hear this conversation. “Or I don’t know what it is, it’s something?”

“Do you realise what deep shit you’re putting yourself in? Lucas, I can’t save you when this goes to hell.”

“I’m not asking you to do that”, Lucas said calmly.

“Yes, you are! I know I’m not supposed to say this but-”

“Manon”, Lucas warned, not wanting his friend to get into trouble, “I got this.”

“Non! Lucas, listen. They’re gonna give you two weeks, okay? Don’t fuck this up. I can’t lose you.”

Lucas clenched his jaw. “I got this, just trust me, okay?”

He could practically hear hear nodding on the other end. “Alright. I’m sorry, I just got the news so I just wanted to make sure. You know things get ugly fast. You know what happened to Beatric.”

Yeah, he definitely did know what happened to his old friends. He would never forget. “Yeah. Thanks. I gotta go now, so…”

“Yeah. Bye, Lucas.”

Lucas put his phone back in his pocket, glancing up at Eliott. The taller boy was looking a little too intensely at the flowers on the ground, inspecting them like it was the most interesting thing he’d ever seen. Or pretending not to listen, Lucas guessed.

“Sorry, Manon got some family problems.”

Eliott nodded, “sure. Is it still Charles, or what was his name?”

Lucas snorted. “No, she dumped his ass a long time ago.”

“Good”, Eliott laughed lightheartedly, “so I was thinking…”

Lucas met his beautiful eyes. “Mhm?”

“I’m throwing a little get together on friday.” In two days, that was. “I would really like it if you came.”

“Really?” Lucas exclaimed, surprised.

“Yeah, why not? I mean, if you want of course.”

Lucas nodded before the rational side of him got a chance to respond. “Yeah, okay. Yes. Yes, I’ll come.”

A sweet smile grew on Eliott’s lips, “great!” he laughed happily, “I’ll text you the address. Come on, let me drive you home now.”

-

Lucas knew she was in his apartment. The stench of the familiar flower perfume he hated tickled his nose the second he walked through the door to the apartment building, and the black, beautiful limousine was parked outside. Eliott commented it, but Lucas quickly waved it away. ‘

His stomach turned in on itself as he walked up the stairs and he had to remind himself that if they were here to kill him, he’d be dead already. And he would definitely not be able to smell her fucking perfume everywhere, that would give away the element of surprise.

Her high heels were standing outside his apartment, the door slightly open. Lucas pressed his lips together hard, letting a shaky breath pass his lips. He always found confronting his boss’ closest in command absolutely terrifying.

She was sitting in his couch, facing the other way. Blonde curls fell down her back and a cigarette was lit in her left hand.

“You can’t smoke in here”, Lucas said as a greeting, hanging his jacket on the hook in his hallway without taking his eyes off the woman.

“I know”, she responded, tone light. “But we don’t care so much about rules, do we, Lallemant?”

Lucas clenched his jaw and folded his arms across his chest. “What are you saying?”

“Nothing”, she shrugged, still not turning to face him, “but I know I’d be very careful with rule-breaking if I had a job like yours.”

“I haven’t broken any rules.”

She tilted her head. The air felt thick and Lucas found it hard to swallow. His whole body was responding, telling him to flee the threat in front of him, but he knew he couldn’t.

“Perhaps not”, she sighed, “I can’t prove anything.” A short pause, then she added, “yet.”

“Are you referring to my client?” His target, his goal, his Eliott.

“Perhaps”, she said again, “but I’m not here to give you a lecture on rules, Lallemant. That’s not my job.”

She finally rose from the couch, turning around to face him. Her body was swept in a beautiful, white fur coat and her slim face was covered in layers of makeup.

“So what do you want?” Lucas asked her. He took a few, unsure steps towards her.

“I’m here to update you on your contract.”

“I don’t want to change client”, Lucas got out quickly. Way too quickly.

She snorted softly. “I said update, not change. A bird whispered in my ear that you got two weeks to finish your contract, that’s all.”

“You could have sent me a letter”, Lucas spit out. He was not a fan of the mocking tone she was using against him. She might be higher in ranking than him, but he was still one of the best assassins in their league, and just because pills were most efficient to use didn’t mean he didn’t know how to use weapons. He could get to the kitchen in two seconds and have a knife in his hand in three.

“You’re right. I guess there was one more thing”, she didn’t scare by Lucas’ threatening tone. Instead, she carelessly walked past him to grab her heels from outside, bending over to put them on.

Maybe that worked on others, Lucas thought, but the only thing he could find distracting in that moment was Eliott.

“If I find out you are breaking any rules, Lallemant”, she warned, voice dangerously low, “you’re not the only one who’s in big trouble.”

“I’m not breaking any rules”, Lucas almost growled out, meeting her steady gaze. “You won’t find any dirt on me.”

She shrugged, a short, high pitched laugh slipping through her lips. “I hope so, for your sake. Have a nice evening. I hope we see each other soon.”

“I don’t”, Lucas mumbled and her light laugh echoed together with her heels down the stairs. Lucas didn’t dare to move until he heard her slamming the door to the beautiful, black limousine outside.

As the sound of the screeching wheels died out, Lucas let out a shaky breath, slowly sinking down against the wall. He wasn’t sure why he was so close to tears.

[vagrantblvrd]

For the prompt post: I wish you would write a fic where... Something more Geoff-centric! I feel like he gets set in the background of so many fics when his FAHC character has the potential to be so interesting. I would love a more shippy fahc fic with him and Gavin, (angst/suspense is always good) but Tbh my little Geoff-loving heart would be content with anything from you. Especially with how much i fucking live for your AO3 stories. I have read them all. Some several times lol.

I adore Geoff and agree with you 1000% friend! (Also, thank you so much!

Geoff hears about these kids, right? Some British bastard with sticky fingers and a clever tongue and his guard dog. This Jersey bastard with a hell of a temper on him and how the hell they even work is a miracle because by all accounts this Jones kid hates the British kid with a passion. Cannot fucking stand him and at first Geoff thinks this Free kid must have something on him, something important because that’s how these things work.

As time goes by he keeps hearing about these kids. The way Free can talk himself out of anything – and has, got pinched by the cops and sweet-talked his way out of that one. Got into trouble with some of the smaller crews – and came out of it with new allies or by the end of things Los Santos would short one miserable little crew.

The more he hears about them, the more he wants them working for him. So he sets up meets with them, gets Lindsay and Trevor on it and Gavin and Michael say no and no and no over and over again.

Geoff thinks it’s them being young and stupid for the longest time until he realizes one day listening to Trevor tell him about something Gavin and Michael did that they’re terrified of being part of a crew.

He knows they came to Los Santos from the east coast so he reaches out to Burnie, asks if he ca find anything out about them. And boy does Burnie deliver, because it turns out that Gavin and Michael used to be a crew, worked for this piece of shit who thought he was meant for greatness.

Ran his crew on fear, and no one knows where he picked Gavin up, but the guy saw what an asset he had in him. Smart and clever and as long as Gavin was useful he got to live. And then came Michael with the same rule – be useful or die – and somehow they became friends.

Besties, even, which worked out for their boss because it meant Gavin had someone watching his back on job who was less likely to kill him themselves.

But then something went wrong, or right, depending on how you look at it because Gavin and Michael wanted out. Wanted to get away from that piece of shit and his crew and everything to do with him, and they were ruthless about it.

Set things up so the piece of shit and his crew were destroyed, ripped apart by greedy rivals while Gavin and Michael got the hell out of the city. Ran until they hit Los Santos and set up shop and Burnie warns him to leave them alone, that the risk isn’t worth it, and Geoff laughs, thinking it’s a joke because the Fake AH Crew can handle a couple of kids – and Burnie just sighs because of course Geoff isn’t going to listen.

Eventually though, Gavin realizes Geoff’s just going to keep coming after them and maybe one day he’ll stop being nice about it, so.

A meeting, where Geoff makes them an offer. Work with the Fakes on a job, get to know them and if they like what they see maybe stick around?

Gavin and Michael agree to that much, make no promises because they’re understandably leery of being trapped again when it cost them so much to get free the last time.

But they end up sticking around after that first job because they like the crew and it’s mutual. Michael and Jeremy get along like a house on fire (sometimes this is literal because there are houses on fire and those two asshole responsible for it).

Gavin seems to be getting along with everyone, and Geoff won’t lie, it’s a little terrifying that he and Ryan are suddenly BFFs, going down to the shooting range to bond over throwing knives (WHY), but it’s obvious they don’t quite trust the crew.

Which.

Geoff has faith they just need to give it time, let Gavin and Michael see for themselves what the Fakes are like and let them decide what they want.

Until then, he figures it won’t hurt to teach Gavin a few things here and there and takes him along for crew business. (Might gain some little bit of Gavin’s trust in the process.)

Let him get a feel for how the Fakes work and how they deal with allies and enemies and all that. (Because Geoff likes Gavin, and he knows right off that Gavin’s top priority is Michael and vice versa, this unlikely friendship that somehow came into being in the worst circumstances.)

They talk, a lot. At first it’s business, how to get what they want in negotiations without giving more than they can afford. They plan jobs, a heist or two and Gavin is brilliant.

Unconventional, sure, but brilliant.

Time goes by and personal details get mixed in with business talk. They spend long hours together with their planning sessions so they order out. Sit around eating take out and mention some small bit of information about themselves, favorite movies. Shows. Video games, and so on.

Sometimes they don’t talk business at all, because Geoff can’t believe Gavin hasn’t seen this movie, and Gavin can’t believe Geoff hasn’t seen that show. It’s been years since either of them played this game, so clearly they have to play it to see if it holds up. (It does, so naturally they end up playing for hours and hours.)

Both of them aware there’s something there, but skittish about putting a name to it, so they just keep muddling along while the others are like really.

Then one day Geoff brings Gavin with him to a meeting with a crew. Long time rivals and an actual threat to the Fakes. So they’re planning on taking things nice and slow and careful – but things go wrong anyway.

Gavin picks up on it first, standing to the right of Geoff’s shoulder in place of Ryan or Jeremy or even Michael

He doesn’t have the intimidation factor the other three do and he’s mostly been ignored during the meeting, which is in his favor something tips him off that something is very wrong.

He’s moving before Geoff realizes what’s going on, and suddenly there’s a knife in some fucker’s throat, gun falling from his hand The goon who makes a gab for Geoff gets a knife in his hand and Geoff’s on his feet with his own gun out and it’s shoots the guy trying to blindside Gavin. Grabs Gavin by the arm and gets them both out of there. 

Finds the side door that leads to the alley with baddies chasing them, dodging bullets and their ride screeches in.

Geoff feels a shove and sees Gavin stumble from the corner of his eye, body hitting the car heavily before Geoff twists around and grabs a handful of his shirt and hauls him in. Gavin falls into the car, across Geoff and Geoff’s yelling at Jack to gogogo.

Jack demands to know what went wrong. Geoff’s telling him, and breaks off  mid-word when he realizes the hand he’d dropped over Gavin on reflex when they tumbled into the backseat is wet.

Twists around sharply to see his hand covered in blood from a gunshot wound. Gavin gritting his teeth and trying to pull free from Geoff to shoot at the the fuckers following them, hissing sharply because the motion tears at his wound, blood coming faster and Geoff -

“Stay the fuck down, you idiot!” Geoff yells, ripping his jacket off intending to use it to stem the bleeding, what the hell, Gavin.

Gavin jerks, turns to him, gun in hand and Geoff feels a chill go through him because he’s seen this before – not in Gavin, no. With Ryan, with Jeremy, when they’re in a tight spot. When one of them is hut and the odds are against them and it looks like this is where the Fakes end, where Geoff’s empire starts to crumble.

“Gavin - “

Gavin’s face twists, a strained, “Geoff” because this is what he and Michael are for, right? The reason Geoff even wanted them with the crew in the first place.

He says something along those lines, spits it out like it’s the simplest of truths and Geoff reels back in shock, just enough for Gavin to go back to picking off the assholes chasing them. Fend them off for the others to get there to take the last of their pursuers out and Gavin slumps down hand, accepts Geoff’s jacket and presses down to stop the bleeding, something spooked about him.

No.

Not spooked, really, just.

Wary, like he’s not sure what Geoff’s going to do now, and Geoff could cheerfully murder the fuck out of whoever did this to him, to Michael, if they hadn’t beaten him to it because they’re his now. Were from the moment they set foot in the penthouse, since he and the others got to know them.

Geoff wants to talk to him about it, to Michael, because both of them are on edge after this, can’t seem to settle. (Gavin goes quiet and watchful, and Michael is never far from him, falling back into old habits.) Geoff wants to talk to them, but he doesn’t get the chance because he’s working with Lindsay and Trevor to deal with the rival crew who starts going after their people.

Geoff knows Gavin’s recuperating and Michael’s keeping an eye on him and doesn’t know how bad things are at first.

When things finally calm down he goes looking for Gavin when it occurs to they haven’t talked about what happened back at that meeting. Feels guilty about it, but he was focused on keeping them all safe and he remembers that wild-eyed look on Gavin’s face in the car. Thinking he and Michael were just tools to be used.

“Fuck,” Geoff mutters, because he fucked up right there, didn’t he.

Fucked up with Gavin and Michael and he goes looking for Gavin. Remembers Jack mentioning that he’s been down in the shooting range a lot, and he goes there first.

When he gets there he finds Gavin and Ryan throwing knives at paper targets. 

There’s a desperation in the way Gavin’s throwing the knives, something Geoff recognizes from the others, himself, after fucking up and vowing to do better next time and it breaks his damn heart because Gavin did everything right back there, and Geoff’s let him down.

Watching them, Geoff’s grateful for his crew because Gavin actually laughs at something Ryan says. Tired little smile on his face that drops away when he notices Geoff.

Something guilty, angry in Geoff at the way Gavin locks everything away. Stands up straighter, like he’s waiting for something from him. (Bad, something bad, and the urge to kill whoever did this to him and Michael is back again.)

Ryan says something to Gavin and then he leaves and Geoff hates the way Gavin’s watching him.

“Shit goes wrong,” Geoff says, hands in pockets, staring down at his the toes of his shoes. “It’s a fact of life No matter how prepared you are, shit always goes wrong in ways you can’t anticipate. The important thing is to be able to adapt, to handle that whatever happens, and you did, Gavvers, holy fuck did you ever.”

Geoff knows if it hadn’t been for Gavin he’s be dead now. Bullet in his head and a rotting, stinking corpse on the floor of that warehouse for the rats and strays to feast on and he’s clearly been around Ryan for too damn long to think that, but.

“It’s not your fuckup, Gavin,” Geoff says, too damn tired, sad, “And if it was, you wouldn’t be punished for it.”

Geoff makes a face when Gavin gives him a look, and okay, alright.

“Fine, you wouldn’t be disproportionately punished for it, all right?”

Because right, okay, he’d made Andy do the bitch work for a month after he messed up, but nothing like what Gavin and Michael seems to be expecting. Nothing mean, meant to hurt them, humiliate them, treat them than less than human.

It eats at him, that these dumb kids don’t get that they’re safe here after all this time. Like he hasn’t done enough to show them that, and it makes him angry - at himself, the bastard who did this to them.

“What we have here is good,” Gavin says, after a long, long moment. Halting and uncertain, accompanied by a ghost of a laugh, disbelieving. “I never thought I’d see Michael this relaxed.”

Geoff looks at him, skeptical because really?”

And Gavin laughs for real this time, hint of a smile curling his lips.

“It’s true, though, you don’t know what he was like before, with our other crew.”

Geoff looks at Gavin, still strung tight with nerves and it hits him suddenly, that Gavin’s done things like this before. Talked about Michael’s safety, happiness, and on and on and never mentioned his own feelings on anything. Always looking out for Michael the way Michael is always looking out for him and never mind anything else.

“And you?”

Gavin stiffens, eyes sliding away from Geoff, fake smile slipping into place.

“Oh, you know me, Geoff, always good, aren’t I?”

Well that’s a goddamned lie if Geoff’s ever heard one.

Geoff stifles a sigh, reaching for one of the throwing knives Gavin and Ryan were tossing around. (Remembers the way Gavin had killed that first guy in the warehouse, and thinks it wouldn’t be a bad skill to learn himself.)

“Yeah,” he says, hefting the knife in his hand, trying to copy Ryan and Gavin’s hold on the thing before he throws it.

Watches it flash through the air before clattering against the target and onto the ground, solid failure on his part. (Nothing new there, really.)

Gavin snorts, just watches as Geoff huffs and tries again with the next knife in line, and biffs that one too. Three more tries until Gavin reaches over to adjust Geoff’s grip, amused grin on his lips, some of the tension running through him gone.

“You’re snapping your wrist when you throw it,” he says, stepping back. “Use the knife’s momentum when you bring your arm forward.”

Geoff gives him a look, not sure if being handy with throwing knives was something Gavin learned how to do before meeting Ryan or after and a little afraid to know the answer.

He follows Gavin’s instructions with the last knife laid out, and while he doesn’t land the throw, there’s definite improvement because the point of the knife bounces against the target instead of the handle.

“Still shit,” Gavin says, and oh, that’s smug amusement, “but definitely better that time.”

Geoff eyes him, and Gavin’s grin only gets bigger.

“Try it again,” Gavin says, puling a knife out of nowhere to hand to him.

Christ, Geoff thinks, as Gavin coaches him on how to throw knives, glad that the idiot looks like he might actually believe it when Geoff says he doesn’t blame him for what happened at the warehouse. What a way to bond with someone.

[minaminokyoko]

Venom: A Spoilertastic Review (that is mostly just a rant)

When the end credits to the Venom movie started, just as Eminem began his embarrassingly uninspired rapping, I turned my head to one of my two friends and asked her, "What the hell did I just put into my eyeballs?"

To be frank, Venom is one of the most peculiar, bizarre, baffling films I've seen in years.

I want to preface this review by saying I was against this idea when it was announced. I thought it was beyond idiotic to make a film about a supervillain whose entire creation hinges on a certain Webhead, and since Sony lent him out to Marvel Studios (the only smart fucking decision they've made in probably over a decade, imo), they went off half-cocked with the hair-brained idea that they could create an anti-hero solo flick for Venom instead. To some degree, sure, they were warranted because the general audience these days has low fucking standards and if you put the words "comic book movie" in front of them, they're usually going to lap it up no matter how terrible it is. After all, fandom doesn't care about things being accurate anymore, by this point, if you dangle fresh meat like Tom Hardy riding a motorcycle in front of them. As long as there's an attractive person at the helm, fandom will just adopt it as canon and ignore any red flags, as they have already done. That being said, I still think this is one of the most blatantly stupid things done for money and for notoriety from any studio toting around a popular comic book character.

Is Venom as bad as legendary awful comic book movies like Catwoman, The Spirit, Batman & Robin, Daredevil, Green Lantern, or Spawn?

Well, no.

And that's almost the only positive thing I can report about it, personally. 

In short, Venom is inept. That's the word I'd choose, aside from bizarre. It has no fucking clue what it's doing at any given time, from start to finish. It's too wacky to be serious, too serious to be a parody or satire, too mature for kids, too childish for adults, too mainstream for nerds, and too nerdy for mainstream. It's just a piping hot fucking mess.

So let's dive into why. Spoiler alert.

Overall Rating: D

Pros:

-Note: I am being very fucking generous by giving this movie points for anything at all, just so y'all know.

-It's not boring. Other comic book movies that have failed, whether it's the really bad kind or just the mediocre kind, have failed worse than this movie simply because at least there aren't any dead periods. Venom doesn't have awful pacing, even with its sloppy, uneven story. It moves along at a steady rate and you can never accuse it of being a borefest like Superman Returns or something. Even though most of it is incomprehensible from a story standpoint, it keeps your attention throughout.

-The doctor boyfriend surprisingly averted the usual stereotype/archetype for this kind of story. For example, in the first Ant Man, the cop boyfriend who is with Scott's baby mama is a smug, overprotective dickhead who later gets better. Most of the time when a main couple breaks up, the girl picks some douchebag who is either so much better than her former lover that it just feels insulting or it's just a one-dimensional asshole for us to hate so we want the two of them to get back together. Hell, doctor boyfriend was actually TOO nice and understanding and helpful. There is no way in hell I'd have stuck it out after seeing Eddie bite the head off a goddamn lobster. I'd have sent his ass to a mental hospital immediately, fuck the regular hospital. That being said, I like the movie averting the trope. It was a welcome change and was awfully refreshing too.

-Even though this is one of his strangest fucking performances to date, Tom Hardy is doing what he always does and gives 110% to a film that really doesn't even deserve him. I've already been hearing rumors that he's not pleased with the final product and that doesn't surprise me, but he does what he can with that awful script and I appreciate the effort. In fact, the only reason I sat through this turd is for Tom Hardy. He is a dedicated, talented actor and even when he's in tripe, he's still busting his beautiful ass to make the best of it anyway. I like him a lot and I'd go to bat for him any day, which is the only reason I coughed up the money for Venom when I knew damn well it'd be a trainwreck.

-The effects are at least decent. Not always. But Venom and the symbiotes actually feel as if they're really there and it's not just the actors staring at a ball on a stick. I appreciate it, since Sony goes in and out of quality regarding CGI.

-Despite the fucking travesty of a fake clown wig on his head, Woody Harrelson is an excellent choice for Cletus Kasady. Everyone knows that. I just hope they get him a better hairpiece next time, sheesh.

Cons:

-Jesus fucking Christ, where do I fucking start?

-Plotholes. This movie doesn't have plotholes--it has plot canyons. It's plothole Inception, for God's sake, with holes inside of fucking holes. It's so clear that the movie doesn't give a rat's ass about anything because there are some of the most ridiculous moments you're expected to swallow with the power of Willing Suspension of Disbelief. It's why it took me a whole two days to try and write a review/analysis of the film. There is so much wrong with it that I frankly wasn't sure where to start and how to process it all. The best I can try to do considering the overwhelming number of holes in the story is go chronologically. First off, Eddie stealing Blondie's confidential documents (Note: Michelle Williams' character was so bland and unimportant I can't remember her name and I don't care to look it up because we all know she doesn't matter, so she is now Blondie) but then not doing his actual job as a journalist when making wild accusations is the first monumentally dumb thing in the film. Why the hell did he go through the trouble of breaching her personal security and trust if all he was going to do was rant about it to the Bad Guy without proof? What did he think it would accomplish? Why would you just confront the guy instead of looking for more proof? Plus, you stole that information, which means it's inadmissable in court since it was obtained illegally, so you still wouldn't have a case anyhow. Any writer with half a brain cell would simply have it so that Eddie read the document, became curious, and started snooping around Life Foundation himself looking for hard evidence that would stand up in court to get justice for the victims. The way they did it in the film makes no sense, but it's because they wanted to bust up the couple and make Eddie a "loser" to kickstart the rest of the film. Then, the girl who tattled on the Life Foundation 100% did not need Eddie Brock to do that. She had full access to the lab and the trust of her superior. All she had to do was document everything herself, send it to Eddie to pass along to his boss, and then skip town with her fucking kids to avoid being murdered. Hell, she could have given it to the authorities anonymously. Third, why after everything went tits up in the lab did she fucking return to the lab as if they wouldn't immediately know it was her? She was seen outside the lab seconds before Eddie set off the alarms and her palm print is recorded having opened the door to the lab. Why the fuck did she go back after she let Eddie in there with no way to cover her tracks? And then she actually told on herself and Eddie, which led to her death. I can't comprehend that level of stupidity at all. It's staggering. Because I'm trying not to turn this into a seven-page single spaced review, I'm just going to stop here and not try to point out all the other plotholes in detail, like the fact that the cops only get involved one time and are never seen again despite the fact that they'd be all over the explosions and missing people associated with the Life Foundation or Eddie's phone working perfectly after he swam under the fucking bridge or Eddie leaving his phone for his boss instead of just sending him the goddamn pictures or the symbiote magically knowing where Eddie was after they took him from the hospital. We'll be here all day if I keep going. I'll just reblog CinemaSins' eventual video of this movie and feel satisfied that way.

-The movie makes zero attempts at explaining anything about the symbiotes except for "they're vulnerable to fire and sound frequencies, need a host to survive, and eat brains." What is even stranger about the lack of explanation is that this isn't a long film. They could have easily added about ten minutes into the story to give us an overview of where they came from, what their world was like, how they found human contact, and why they were on that comet. All we can do is infer things, which pisses me off because this is YOUR story and YOUR new continuity that you just fucking made up on the fly, so I don't know the rules here and it's shitty of you to just gloss over it all. Why is it called Venom? Is that a translation from whatever the hell the symbiote was called on its own planet? Did it hear that somewhere and decide it liked the word? Why? Why does it get touchy if you call it a parasite when that is literally what it is? Is it like Ratigan from The Great Mouse Detective and it's just in denial? We have to guess that it knows whatever Eddie knows, but why does it have any conceptual knowledge of romance and relationships when it attempts to get Eddie to apologize to Blondie or when it says it "likes" her? Or that Eddie "changed its mind" at the end? And how can a symbiote even be a loser? That concept is almost universally human and it's a giant sentient piece of fucking tar? How can it possibly be a loser on its own planet? There is just no damn context for majority of the shit surrounding the symbiotes in the movie and it's all the more frustrating since we spend a great deal of time in the lab with them during the movie and yet we learn almost nothing.

-Eddie and the symbiote don't actually form a proper bond or partnership. This is one of the things that's irritating me about people who seem to have taken to the movie. I was told multiple times by people that the movie is stupid, but the repartee between Eddie and Venom is enjoyable. Not really, no. Are there quips? Yes, there are quips. But quips do not inherently create a bond. Anyone can bounce dialogue off each other. If said dialogue does not change the characters, then it's just lip service. Sadly, though, a lot of people don't notice that absolutely nothing between Eddie and Venom lines up. Venom helps Eddie survive the attacks, but is killing him in the process. It's self-interest alone. The truly confounding part is when they get Venom off of Eddie and find out Venom has basically been consuming Eddie's organs to stay alive inside him, Eddie acts betrayed and storms off, but then when Venom returns wearing Blondie as his guise, he just accepts it and they go off to the badly filmed climax. What the hell changed in between those scenes? Nothing. Eddie still runs the risk of dying being piloted by the symbiote, and while Eddie has motivation to stop Bad Guy (again, another character that is so thin I can't be bothered to learn his name) from bringing the symbiotes to earth, Venom is given zero reason to want that at all. As mentioned above, there's no backstory. Is Venom concerned his race will consume the earth? If so, who cares? There's seven billion people and Venom has already found Eddie, who is a suitable match for him to survive, so why does he care at all? Eddie would survive an invasion anyhow. It makes no damn sense. Films that have dealt with symbiotic relationships always establish a common ground at some point but Venom doesn't for some inexplicable reason. I'm incredibly frustrated that everyone's just going "tee hee, look, they're best friends now, it's cute" when in fact Eddie is just running around committing murder randomly without ever really contemplating how serious it is, even though he claims to only be eating bad people.

-Nitpick: Fridging two different female characters, the homeless lady and the Life Foundation tattletale, rubbed me entirely the wrong way. Both of them were in Eddie's vicinity, both die, and both are never brought up again or shown to have impacted Eddie's motivation or life. They are simply used and discarded, which is another thing that makes this movie feel so hollow.

-The tone is all over the fucking place. It can be argued that Venom never went full serious and is always sort of tongue-in-cheek, but there's just this ridiculous whiplash feeling when you watch it spike from an action scene to "wacky" Brock antics to Venom quips. Eddie's personality even before the symbiote is just confusing as hell. It's like stuffing a bunch of random character traits into one man and all of them are fighting to get out at once like the characters from Split. The most consistent thing is he's sarcastic, but even then his moods range far too widely to get a bead on him. He can be dry one minute and then frantic and excitable the next, and that's before the symbiote. After the symbiote, it's like they gave Tom Hardy cocaine and steroids. The man's acting is simply all over the damn place. He accepts near-impossible things sometimes with a shrug and other times he freaks out. The movie just doesn't know what the hell it's attempting to accomplish, and that's why mood and tone are important to set from the get-go with a film. It just slingshots between a faux-horror film and a snippy action flick over and over again until your head feels pulverized.

-The final action sequences is one of the dumbest, messiest things since Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. It's an ugly, dark, jumbled up mess. It's so indistinguishable that Godzilla (2014) can take potshots at it. Why in perfect blue hell did they choose two symbiotes with such similar appearances to showdown with each other on top of a rocket at night? It's so hard to see what the two of them are doing, who is winning or losing, or what kind of movement is happening at all. We also are never given the full range of their abilities, so the only real stake is when they pull off their hosts and their bodies are vulnerable, but even then it appears that Venom can raise Eddie from the dead seconds later anyhow. I'm stunned the movie couldn't even do a fake out death properly, which is so fucking easy that even Disney can do it. Eddie dies and is revived in less than fifteen goddamn seconds. The camera doesn't even linger on his body to sell the emotion (not that we'd ever have one, he is just barely a character anyway) before it just takes it right the hell back. That's filmmaking 101, for God's sake, and the movie blows it too.

-The last scene in the movie. In its entirety. I haven't been that exasperated since I stupidly forced myself to watch Pacific Rim: Uprising. There are so many things wrong with it that it's hard to know how to tackle it. I don't care that Eddie stopped that guy from extorting the shop owner--he openly turned into a 10 foot tall alien and ate a guy in front of her, and the movie just laughs and shrugs like it's just totally fine, like that woman isn't about to lose her shit, call the cops, or fuck, the NSA/FBI/CIA/Avengers on Eddie for making her a witness to murder, and endangering pretty much anyone around them. To say nothing of the fact that there is no reason a 10 foot tall alien with a million sharp teeth needs to say a single word to threaten someone. You are the threat, buddy. Your existence is the threat. Why did you need to insist on threatening to bite things off? You're terrifying and nothing you say is going to somehow make you scarier, especially when you just ate the guy anyway. It's like they just made that scene for the final trailer, much like that "I thought she was with you" comment all the way back in Batman v. Superman despite in-canon it made no sense. It's so unnecessary. And don't get me started on the fact that the crook actually asked the giant alien who it is. Fuck you. That was a lazy, transparent attempt to spoonfeed the wretched cliche that Michael Keaton's Batman made famous. (Consequently, all movies ever, please stop doing this cliche. Stop it. Just find another way to announce yourself. It's really tired, y'all, let it go already.) No human would ever look at that thing and ask it who the fuck it is. He'd piss himself and die of fright. Period. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. Piss. Die. Period.

-Nitpick: Why was there that weird Godzilla (2014) trailer noise every time Venom attacked someone? Did they just steal it from public domain? They used it almost like the Inception horn cliche that Hollywood was obsessed with for a while and it took me right out of the scene every damn time.

-Nitpick: They really thought we're so stupid that we needed Kasady to actually say his character's name out loud. Look, you fuckers, you know goddamn well that end credits scenes are extras and that people can go home and Google things instead of you literally spelling it out for us. Hell, you know that not that many Average Joes and mainstream people went to this movie anyway since Venom is a second-stringer villain and your main demographic is die-hard Eddie Brock fans anyway. So having Kasady say the damn name “Carnage” in the post credits scene really was the final fart in my general direction. Give us some fucking credit, man. Venom has barely five plotlines to his whole character anyway. Of course we knew you were going to drop Carnage for the Sequel Hook, you condescending twat of a film.

Look, I get it. I'm hypercritical because I write fiction for a living. There are plenty of movies where turning your brain off is required in order to enjoy it, but I think this movie is asking me to get an entire lobotomy to be able to swallow the big-ass pill it's offering. It's just so sloppy and uncaring and yet it's holding its grubby little hands out for your money and your love and I think it's undeserving of it on every last level. It has zero comprehension of what it's trying to accomplish since it's a money grab, and its artistic choices are nothing short of bonkers. It's so strange that it even veers outside of the So Bad It's Good category for me. I can't in good confidence recommend it to anyone even though it's almost like a study in what not to do in both comic book movies and movies in general. It's weird in a distasteful way rather than in a charming way for me, honestly. I know people have rallied around it for being different and out there, but I don't think different and good are the same thing in Venom's case.

[lillian-tiger]

Challenge || The Sorting Test 

What is your real, birth name? Any nicknames? When and where were you born?

Lillian Marie Tiger - I mean I will happily accept Princess as a nickname, sadly only Nibs uses it. People... I was born November 15 1997 pretty sure my mother gave birth in Paris on one of their lovely trips around the world. 

What is your Myers-Briggs Personality Type? (If you don’t know go here this question is optional.)

Entrepreneur ESTP-T

Do you have a nickname? What is it, and where did you get it?

Princess, or just Princess Lilly. Either or, I’m a princess regardless.

What do you look like? (Include height, weight, hair, eyes, skin, apparent age, and distinguishing features)

I’m about 5′3, 135, slender and fit (thank you dancing). I have dark hair, brown eyes, and I’m very tan. Most people think I’m a lot older than I really am. Which is nice when using my fake I.D. 

How do you dress most of the time? Do you wear any jewelry?

I typically try and dress up a little. Even if it’s ‘casual’ there is still some sort of spark that shows I’m still here for business and to make your head turn. Sometimes I’ll be in cute work out cloths, because well.. they’re cute. 

What don’t you like about yourself? What kind of things embarrass you? Why?

My knees kinda bend inward a bit too much. Um.. not a lot really embarrasses me. I typically just embarrass others. Not of purpose of course, it just kinda happens sometimes.

In your opinion, what is your best feature?

I have really nice, toned legs. I know they’re no long, but I mean they’re pretty fit looking legs.

Where do you live? Describe it: Is it messy, neat, avant-garde, sparse, etc.?

I live in a flat in town. It has my room, and a spare room for anyone that wants to get away. It’s pretty simple, and always clean. A lot of teal and rose gold accents everywhere. It’s my favorite place in the world. 

What is your most prized mundane possession? Why do you value it so much?

My father gave me my mothers wedding ring. I keep it in the back of my jewelry box. It’s the only thing I have of my mother before she walked out. 

What one word best describes you?  

Princess

Familial Questions

What is/was your family structure like? (i.e. are you adopted, how many siblings, pets, etc.)  

It used to be great till I was about 7. My mother just up and left us, and my father just pushed himself into work, and me with any dance instructor he could find. Private schools, and everything else. So. It’s just a shit show now. My father is a credit card.

Who was your father, and what was he like? Who was your mother, and what was she like? What was your parents marriage like? Were they married? Did they remain married?

He was my best friend, and not he’s just a stranger. My mother and him obviously are.. not together anymore. Divorced, and he remarried some idiot who’s probably my age. Haven't really met her - or got to know her. 

What are/were your siblings names? What are/were they like? (If you have siblings)

n/a

What’s the worst thing one of your siblings ever did to you? What’s the worst thing you’ve done to one of your siblings? (If you have siblings)

n/a

When’s the last time you saw any member of your family? Where are they now?

My dad gave me about a twenty minute visit for Christmas. That was nice.

Who is your closest friend(s)? Describe them and how you relate to them.

The Lost boys. I don’t know all the details, but I at least know they’re in the same boat with me. Nibs would have to be my absolute closest. He’s seen the most, and knows more than anyone else in my life. 

Childhood Questions

What is your first memory?

I can remember hating the heck out of peas. I mean I don’t even know if it’s a memory, it’s just a video I’ve seen a million times. It’s not like I actually remember it.

What was your favorite toy?

Jump rope

What was your favorite game?

Uno

Who was your best friend when you were growing up?

Dumb, Dumber, Dumbest, and just.. well... bigger than est. Kidding, the boys were the only real stable friendship, and longest. 

What is your fondest childhood memory?

Taking dance lessons. I was so talented, and my father used to never miss a single performance. Without a doubt he was my biggest fan. I couldn’t have asked for anyone better to cheer me on. I was the lead in a spring showcase, and he just looked proud.. 

What is your worst childhood memory?

The day my mother left. 

Adolescent Questions

It is common for one’s view of authority to develop in their adolescent years. What is your view of authority, and what event most affected it?

Eh, I mean I respect them I guess. I never really had authority. I’ve been living on my own for awhile now off my fathers money. 

What “clique” did/do you best fit in with? (Royals, Dark Royals, Wallflowers, Bookworms, Punks, Hipsters, Rejects, etc.)

Royals, I mean hello - Princess. 

What were/are your high school goals? What were/are your uni goals?

High School - get offers to dance academy's - which I mean I’m one of the best here at the university. While I’m here? I just want to get a degree that I know is fit for me. Dancing is everything, but I want to do something with it then just preform. One day I won’t be able too and I jut want something at that point. So probably the schooling to teach it. 

What is/was your favorite memory from adolescence? What is/was your worst memory from adolescence?

My favorite was the first time I got drunk. I think that’s close to everyone's. The classic high school party were the music is horrible, and the place is crammed with a bunch of people who can’t handle their alcohol. I could, clearly. The worst? Watching everyone on mothers day. One in particular though where someone just kept asking about my mother, and just kept going. It was the first time I punched someone. I mean that part was amazing, but just.. that fact alone. 

Do you own a car? Describe it. If not, describe your dream car.

I have a white 2017 Mazda CX-5  - it gets me around, and it’s solid black. 

Occupational Questions

Do you have a job? What is it? Do you like it? If no job, where does your money come from?

No, I don’t work. I mean I get lessons to people? but I don’t really charge. I just get all my money from my dad.

What is your boss or employer like? (Or publisher, or agent, or whatever.)

n/a

What are your co-workers like? Do you get along with them? Any in particular? Which ones don’t you get along with?

n/a

What is something you had to learn that you hated?

I’m sure any job I have that’s not dancing I would just hate everything about whatever I was learning. 

Do you tend to save or spend your money? Why?

Spend, Spend, and Spend some more. Why not? I mean it’s sorta my dad’s love.

Likes & Dislikes Questions

What hobbies do you have?

Partying and Dancing. 

What bands/artists do you like? What song is “your song?” Why?

I love anything main stream. Whatever is on the top 100 is typically whatever I’m blasting and dancing around too. Currently Zane’s new hit my favorite at the moment. My song of the sweet.

When it comes to politics, do you care? If so, which way do you tend to vote? If not, why don’t you care?

I don’t really follow them, honestly.

What time of day is your favorite? What kind of weather is your favorite?

Nighttime, it’s typically when cities come alive and the best people are out on the run. Weather? Sunny, I love a good beach day, or days were I can wear cute sun dresses. 

What is your favorite food? What is your least favorite food?

My favorite food is chicken wings, and my least favorite... oh man, mushrooms.

What is your favorite drink? (Coffee, Coke, Juice, Beer, Wine, etc.)

I’m weak for Coke as awful as it is for you. 

What’s your favorite animal? Why?

Tigers without a doubt. They’re majestic, beautiful and powerful. Much like myself.  

Do you have any pets? Do you want any pets? What kind?

I don’t have any pets, but I’m really thinking about maybe getting some fish, or something to live in that flat with me.

What do you find most relaxing? (Not as in stress relief, but as something that actually calms you down.)

Yoga. Without it I would be biting peoples heads off.

What’s a pet peeve of yours?

People that think they’re better than me, or just have a huge stick up their ass. Like live a little. 

Would you consider yourself straight, gay, bi, pan, or something else? Why?

Mmm, I mean I’m mostly with guys, but I’m not against having some lady love either. I’d say I’m Bi. 

Sex & Intimacy Questions

Who was the first person you had sex with? When did it happen? What was it like? How well did it go? (If your character is sexually active, if not, skip this question)

My first time was with a senior my freshman year. He was perfect, it was perfect, I mean it wasn’t romantic, but it wasn’t horrible. His name was Jake, football, jock, perfectly toned. I mean nothing came from it, but he also wasn’t an ass to me afterwards. He’d still wave and say hi in the hallways.

Do you currently have a lover/crush? What is their name, and what is your relationship like? What are they like? Why are you attracted to them?

That’s cute, no. That’s how you get your heartbroken. Maybe I have a crush? I don’t know, what does a crush even feel like ? I mean I found someone I wouldn’t mind getting to know? 

Describe the perfect romantic partner for you and describe your perfect date with them.

Someone I can be completely myself with. I can break all my walls down, and they know how to make me laugh. They have to be able to keep things interesting. I think laser tag would be a cute date. Tag you’re it, maybe casually make out somewhere in the field, who knows. I have to break a few rules. 

Do you ever want to get married and have children? When do you see this happening?

I do. I don’t see it happening for a very long time from here. 

What is more important – sex or intimacy? Why?

Intimacy, I’ll let you know when that day comes where I find that though. 

What was your most recent relationship like? Who was it with? (Does not need to be sexual, merely romantic.)

Uh... some dude from high school. It lasted a week, and obviously wasn’t that important since I don’t even remember his name. 

What’s the worst thing you’ve done to someone you loved?

Told them I didn’t love them. 

Drug & Alcohol Questions (if your character’s a drinker/does drugs, if not, skip to numbers 5 & 6)

How old were you when you first got drunk? What was the experience like?

I was 15, and it was amazing. I mean the hangover was hell, but it was everything you think your first high school party is going to be. I became very well known after that... FOR GOOD REASONS. I just knew how to handle my shots well. 

Did anything good come out of it? Did anything bad come out of it?

I mean that’s how I met Jake, so I say that’s some good. 

Do you drink on any kind of regular basis?

Yeah... I’m pretty bad with it. 

What kind of alcohol do you prefer?

Tequila baby.

Have you ever tried any other kind of “mood altering” substance? Which one(s)? What did you think of each?

Just the beautiful green... maybe E once. just once. I mean I did take some pills .. a little bit ago. 

What do you think of drugs and alcohol? Are there any people should not do? Why or why not?

I’m not here to judge anyone. Not before I can handle myself. 

Post-Powers Awareness Questions (For those who have powers)

When did you go through when you gained your powers? What was it like (in your opinion)?

What do you think now of being magical? Is it cool, or have you been screwed?

Do you have a mentor? Who are they? How did you become their student?

Do you have any magical items? Where did you get them?

Think of a major event that happened during your training/initiation. What was it?

What is something you had to learn during your training that you hated? Why did you hate it?

Thoughtful Questions  

What about you is social? What do you like about people?

Almost everything about me is pretty social. I don’t like how people can be so judgment, or so .. annoying with their own ways. I like things to be my way - also when people don’t have humor. 

If a magical being, describe the color of what magic you use, is it of a light color, bold and bright, pastel and sparkly, etc.

Are you a better leader or follower? Why do you think that? If you think the whole leader-follower archetype is a crock of shit, say so, and explain why?

I am without a doubt a leader. No way I’m going to be following anyone and their steps. 

[smoothserg]

What he really thinks: Trump mocks Christians, calls them "fools" and "schmucks"

Cohen says "profoundly immoral" Trump labels Christianity "bulls**t" and is consumed by a "lust for wealth"

Michael Cohen's book about his years as Donald Trump's fixer is a clarion call to Christians to wake up; recognize the man many of them revere as a heavenly agent is a religious fraud; and act.

Trump loathes Christians and mocks their faith, but pretends to believe if it suits his purposes.

In Disloyal, published today, Cohen shows how Trump is a master deceiver. He quotes Trump calling Christianity and its religious practices "bullshit," then soon after masterfully posing as a fervent believer. In truth, Cohen writes, Trump's religion is unbridled lust for money and power at any cost to others.

Cohen's insider stories add significant depth to my own documentation of Trump's repeated and public denouncements of Christians as "fools," "idiots" and "schmucks."

In extensive writing and speeches, Trump has declared his life philosophy is "revenge." That stance is aggressively anti-Christian. So are Trump's often publicly expressed desires to violently attack others, mostly women, and his many remarks that he derives pleasure from ruining the lives of people over such minor matters as declining to do him a favor. 

Cohen describes himself as an "active participant" with Trump in activities ranging from "golden showers in a sex club in Vegas" to corrupt deals with Russian officials.

The author offers new anecdotes about Trump's utter disregard for other people and his contempt for religious belief. Cohen's words should shock the believers who were crucial to his becoming president, provided they ever read them.

By denouncing the book Trump has ensured that many of those he has tricked into believing he is a deeply religious man will never fulfill their Christian duty to be on the lookout for deceivers.

None of the evangelicals I have interviewed in the past five years knew Trump has denounced in writing their beliefs and written of the communion host as "my little cracker."

Trump detests Christianity

Despite the irrefutable evidence that Trump detests Christianity and ridicules such core beliefs as the Golden Rule and turning the other cheek, America is filled with pastors who praise him to their flocks as a man of God. Trump himself has looked heavenward outside the White House to imply he was chosen by God.

Pastors who support Trump were scolded two years ago by Christianity Today, a magazine founded by Billy Graham, for not denouncing Trump as "profoundly immoral." Many evangelical pastors then attacked the magazine rather than following the Biblical exhortation to examine their own souls.

Cohen writes that as a young man who grew up encountering Mafioso and other crooks at a country club he fell into the "trance-like spell" of Trump, whom he describes as an utterly immoral, patriarchal mob boss and con man.

Trump is "consumed by the worldly lust for wealth and rewards," Cohen writes, which puts him at odds with the teaching of Jesus Christ about what constitutes a good life.

"Places of religious worship held absolutely no interest to him, and he possessed precisely zero personal piety in his life," Cohen writes.

Prosperity gospel embraced

Cohen explains that the only version of Christianity that could possibly interest Trump is the "prosperity gospel." That is a perverse belief that financial wealth is a sign of heavenly approval rooted in 19th Century occult beliefs that is anathema to Christian scripture.

Many actual Christians regard the prosperity gospel as evil. Christianity Today, calls it "an aberrant theology" promoted by disgraced televangelists including Jimmy Swaggart and Jim and Tammy Baker.

Early in Trump's aborted 2012 presidential campaign, Cohen writes, he was ordered to reach out to faith communities. Soon Paula White, now the White House adviser on faith, proposed a meeting at Trump Tower with evangelical leaders. Cohen writes that Trump liked White because she was blonde and beautiful.

Cohen said that among those attending were Jerry Falwell Jr., who recently resigned in disgrace over sex and greed allegations as head of Liberty University, and Creflo Dollar, who solicited donations for a $65 million corporate jet and who was criminally charged that year with choking his daughter. Dollar said those charges were the work of the devil.

Once the evangelical leaders took their seats, Cohen writes, Trump quickly and slickly portrayed himself as a man of deep faith. Cohen writes that this was nonsense.

Laying on hands

After soaking in Trump's deceptions, the leaders proposed laying hands on Trump. One purpose of laying on hands is to call on the Holy Spirit for divine approval.

Cohen was astounded when Trump, a germaphobe, eagerly accepted.

"If you knew Trump as I did, the vulgarian salivating over beauty contestants or mocking Roger Stone's" sexual proclivities "you would have a hard time keeping a straight face at the sight of him affecting the serious and pious mien of a man of faith. I knew I could hardly believe the performance or the fact that these folks were buying it.

"Watching Trump I could see that he knew exactly how to appeal to the evangelicals' desires and vanities – who they wanted him to be, not who he really was. Everything he was telling them about himself was absolutely untrue."

To deceive the evangelicals, Cohen writes, Trump would "say whatever they wanted to hear."

A perverse epiphany

Trump's ease at deception became for Cohen an epiphany, though a perverse one.

In that moment, Cohen writes, he realized the boss would someday become president because Trump "could lie directly to the faces of some of the most powerful religious leaders in the country and they believed him."

Later that day, Cohen writes, he met up with Trump in his office.

"Can you believe that bullshit," Trump said of the laying on of hands. "Can you believe that people believe that bullshit."

Cohen also writes about Trump's desire, expressed behind closed doors, to destroy those who offend him. Trump has said the same, though less vividly, in public.

"I love getting even," Trump declared in his book Think Big, espousing his anti-Christian philosophy: "Go for the jugular. Attack them in spades!"

He reiterated that philosophy this year at the National Prayer Breakfast. Holding up two newspapers with banner headlines reporting his Senate acquittal on impeachment charges, Trump said, "I don't like people who use their faith as justification for doing what they know is wrong. Nor do I like people who say, 'I pray for you,' when they know that that's not so."

Trump spoke after Arthur Brooks, a prominent conservative, told the breakfast meeting that "contempt is ripping our country apart."

Brooks went on: "We're like a couple on the rocks in this country…Ask God to take political contempt from your heart. And sometimes, when it's too hard, ask God to help you fake it."

Everyone in the room rose to applaud Brooks except Trump, though he finally stood up as the applause died down.

Taking the microphone, Trump said, "Arthur, I don't know if I agree with you… I don't know if Arthur is going to like what I'm going to say."

Trump then said he didn't believe in forgiveness. That is just as Cohen wrote: "Trump is not a forgiving person." Trump's words at the prayer breakfast made clear that he rejects the teaching of Jesus at Luke 6:27: "Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you."

The question pastors should raise in their Sunday sermons, the question Cohen's book lays before them, is how can any Christian support a man who mocks Christianity, embraces revenge as his only life philosophy and rejects that most basic Biblical teaching—forgiveness.

[acoolguyscoollife]

Chapter 14: Ready? Fight!

For our first actual team fight against something, I had to say, it felt like it was going pretty well right up until the glass shards. With a screech out of its eldritch-looking mouth, the windows shattered into many dangerous looking pieces, which of course he controlled telepathically to send flying towards us. Tabitha covered herself, Aki and her father, and Seth with a bubble of energy propelled from her hands at the last second, while Amy and I just had to run, each effort at bringing up the floor for a makeshift barrier barely making it a few inches off the ground. She was getting tired, despite how effortlessly she had acted before, most of her energy having been lost blocking the King inside in the first place. A shadowy tendril shot out in our path, and Amy dropped to a slide, which looked incredibly painful on the knees. With barely any time to react, I couldn’t do anything but bring up my sword and slash through it, using my momentum to carry me through the attack, severing the limb from the rest of the body and coating me in a generous helping of icky stuff. The creature screamed again, and the glass shards dissolved, my ears ringing with the attack. Multiple eyes had sprouted along its body now, which served as little more than targets for Seth to shoot out. I watched him as he fired at them, grouping shots three at a time to each eye, then reloading when he had to. A tendril swung from above, and he dodged out of the way, reminding me of where exactly I was right now, and I narrowly missed being hit by a tendril aimed at me.

“If anyone has one of those attacks that the heroes do in movies at the end of a fight, where you wonder why they don’t do it sooner, now would be a good time to do it!” I called out, while glancing at everyone else. Each expression was blank, as if expecting one of the others to be the one to have that attack. I saw Seth attempt to speak, before being cut off by another screech from the monster, as small flying creatures came out of its mouth. One flew at me, quickly stopped by a slash from the Cobatana, but once again showering me in ick.

“What do we know about this guy?” Seth repeated, and I had to think back to the game version. While there were most definitely differences, I didn’t know for certain what they were, and it was better to operate as if we were in the same circumstances.

“It’s mostly endurance, he eventually gives us an opening to attack with!” I said, after some deliberation. “We need to get above him somehow, usually the attack is done from the top of the castle because he’s fought outside!” Once again, the difference between the game and real life got in the way. I jumped over one of the tendrils, hoping that Amy would be able to handle herself, before ducking under another. I was noticing more about the creature’s changes now, with the long appendages now having faces at the end of them, sharp-teethed and very bitey. One snapped at me, and I drove my sword through its face, narrowly missing being bitten by it. It began to recoil, pulling me and the sword with it, but Tabitha’s fire cut through it, engulfing the entire creature in a shield of fire. Amy took this moment to run across to the rest of us, the brief reprieve in fighting giving us a second to regroup.

“How long do we have to do this for?” Aki asked, and I couldn’t do anything but shrug. It felt like we’d been fighting for hours at this point, but it couldn’t have been more than a few minutes. The fight in the game went on for a while, but I’d never timed it then, since who would count the seconds while playing a game normally?

“The core of the creature is in there, and over time, it gets exposed. When it does, we launch everything we have at it. We’ll need someone to run a distraction to stop it from closing early, holding it apart in two pieces by dividing its attention.” I said, and Seth stepped forward.

“We’ll split into two teams. Me, Aki’s father, and Tabitha will stick to one side, while the rest stay on the other. Aki and her father will run the distractions when the core opens, and we’ll use a full-frontal assault. Any questions?” He finished, and Aki raised her hand.

“Do you always take over the tactical stuff?” She asked, and Seth grinned.

“Oh yes!” Seth fired off a shot at the creature, which Tabitha took as the signal for her to drop the shield holding it in. The teams split up, taking each side of the room and attacking any point of the creature we could. Amy’s new method of attack was to create whatever kind of throwable weapon she could, which didn’t seem to do too much, but I was okay with her saving her power. It wasn’t like I could do much better with a limited-range weapon like a sword. Though, I had to admit, this thing sliced through the King like butter, though I wouldn’t want to spread him on my toast in the morning. Or afternoon, or evening. Basically, any time of the day that I would have toast. After all, why should warm bread be confined to only one time of the day?

“Aki, what’s your distraction plan?” I called out, trying to distract myself from what I was fighting, and also from my trailing thoughts. Glancing over at her, I saw exactly what her plan was, as she ran along one of the creature’s limbs deftly and gracefully, not even showing a hint of losing her balance. The limb turned, but she didn’t, propelling herself off of it and extending an arm to catch it with her claws. Aki swung around the limb with her claws dragging through it, flipping back up to where she started like a gymnast, though I imagine in a gymnastic environment, they wouldn’t normally end up severing a limb with the force of their landing. Though then again, I’d not seen much of gymnastics. Maybe it was way higher stakes than I thought. Despite every removed tendril, nothing felt like it was changing, the King acting like a hydra and just sprouting more limbs every time it lost one, which totally felt like cheating, but I was pretty sure he wouldn’t take kindly to being called out on it. What I could only assume was now the head of the creature opened up for another scream, and, very briefly, I saw the flash of light that was tell-tale to a video game weak point. A shrill whistle, and the others caught on to what I was talking about. Aki’s father took off running one way, and Aki herself went another, with the creature’s following eyes causing it to begin to pull apart. The light became more visible, and I knew this was the time to attack.

“Now!” Tabitha said, punctuating her words with a fireball bigger than herself, manifested from a snap of her fingers and a wave of her arm towards the King. Seth’s bullets struck it over and over, and Amy sent a piece of the ground through it, sharp as a spike. Despite everything, I knew it wasn’t going to be enough. The creature was still attacking. I had to move quickly, before…

“Dad!” Aki’s voice screamed out, and I already knew I was too late. I didn’t even want to look, but I couldn’t do anything but, my body in autopilot. A tendril of shadow, sharp and deadly, had impaled him. One end was coated in blood, and his face was frozen, still in the stage of exertion that comes from running. The limb retracted, and he fell to the ground. I could feel my hand clenching involuntarily, knuckles white as I clutched the sword. The whole idea of being a Cool Guy was an attempt at being calm, funny, and unemotional. But I was pissed.

“Amy, I need platforms, now!” I said, and she caught on quick to what I was trying to do. “Seth, Tabitha, stop the attacking!” The gunfire and fire-fire ceased, and I started running towards the core. The floor became steps as I ran, crude and wobbly, but enough for me to gain enough height to leap off the last one, towards the pulsating mass of blackness. I brought the sword down, slashing wildly as I fell towards the core. The sword stabbed directly into it, stopping my momentum for a moment as the creature’s body began to shift to try and hide it. All it did was give me a foothold to drive the sword further into it, before twisting and pulling it out through the side of it. The creature let out a scream that, at this distance, felt like it was splitting my head. I could see the core was destroyed, which was my last sight as my vision was covered by dark liquid, oozing over my face as the body swallowed me.

 “Bluh.” It was all I could think to say. “Holy shit, that was gross.” Okay, maybe I had a bit more to say. The monster was dead, mostly dissolved away at this point, but the remnants of black goo were still on me, despite my best attempts at shaking it off. I tried standing up, but I was almost thrown off balance by Amy grabbing me tightly, both swearing and crying slightly.

“Don’t do that again, assface.” She muttered, and I kinda felt bad. I knew I wasn’t going to die, because of the way the boss worked, but it definitely looked like I had from the outside. Unfortunately, the mention of my death fake-out only served to remind me of Aki’s father. She was with him, holding his head up on her lap, kneeling next to him. After Amy let go of me, I joined her, and the two of us sat in silence for a while. Her father looked at peace, and I hoped for his sake that he got it. He had helped his people, and had ran forwards instead of away. If it hadn’t been for him, we might not have succeeded.

“Do you know, he asked me to take over as queen?” Aki said, finally. I looked over at her, and she was half-smiling, despite her tears. “What an idiot.” She shook her head in disbelief. “Could you imagine, me ruling over all of them? I’m barely 20 years old!” She added with a chuckle, but the smile was starting to fade. I put my arm around her, letting her fall into a hug as her laughter turned into sobbing.

 “I want to come with you.” Aki said, which caught me off guard. We had been gearing up to leave, having spent a few days here making sure that everyone was recovering, so I had spent a while talking to her. Not once had she brought this up.

“Aki, I don’t know…” I began, but she cut me off.

“Hear me out, okay?” Aki basically pleaded, and I looked over at Tabitha, who just stared me down. Guess this was my call. “I know mutants aren’t common in your world, but I don’t plan on going outside. Hell, I just want to see other worlds altogether, not just change the world I live in.”

“What about your people?” Seth asked, gesturing to the crowds of people behind us.

“I don’t think they need me. What they need right now is time to heal.” Aki said. While she wasn’t wrong, I wasn’t sure how leaving would help with the situation. “If I’m being honest with myself, I don’t know about my purpose here. At least with you guys, I can try and find a reason to keep going.”

“And what if you decide that you want to go home?” Amy asked. Aki raised an eyebrow, or at least, I think she did. Fur all over her made it hard to tell.

“There’s nothing stopping you from bringing me back, is there?” Aki said, though not in a tone that suggested she would care if she couldn’t come back. At this point, we could only turn to Tabitha for answers.

“Not particularly. It’d be a pain in the ass, and a little annoying after having helped you, but I get the feeling this wouldn’t have stopped you either way.” Tabitha was barely paying attention to the conversation, instead typing on her wrist again.

“That settles it, then!” Aki said, moving to the rest of us.

“It does?” I said to myself, but it didn’t matter now. Aki was right in the middle of the group, arms around us, as Tabitha hit the button to send us back to our own world.

[jinxedncharmed]

Back home after Thanksgiving at my sister’s place. It was fairly tolerable, but boy does Sis have issues. She throws pity parties daily and is always “poor me, I have no friends, I hate my job, my daughter doesn’t love me, woe woe woe.” She’s insufferable.

The breaking point came Thursday night when I made an ugly comment about her dog. It’s one of those tiny, nasty Chihuahua mixes, and it hates Niece. It snarls and growls whenever she comes near. Now, because my sister is a terrible mom, she not only keeps that animal but clearly favors it. Sis is one sick fuck.

So the damn dog growls and lunges at Niece, snatching a half eaten roll from her hand. Niece just laughs and keeps walking, but I am aghast, so I say something like, “Why do you keep that thing around?” I mean, if it was me, the first time that dog growled at Niece, I’d dropkick it in to oblivion.

Sis goes off on my “incredibly personal insult” and sobbingly declares, “This dog is all I have!”

And I just want to roundhouse kick her in the face, because, excuse me? Here we are to celebrate a holiday in your beautiful home, playing with your amazing daughter, eating a delicious dinner before your husband goes to work at his fulltime, secure job with benefits. And that gross rat-faced dog is “all you have?”

So Mom goes off on her and I quickly exit the scene, although later Mom also admonishes me, which I think is wrong and unfair, but hey, story of my life. I am always to blame for Sis’s dysfunctional sensitivity and insecurity.

The dog could have BIT that baby. But yeah, no, I’m the bad guy. Fucking shit.

So Sis has serious mental issues, and she’s going to totally fuck up Niece, and I can’t do anything about it. It is so sad. But I am not responsible for Sis and her choices. Her life is her life. I am not going to carry her.

Anyway. Really, aside from that, it was an ok visit. Dad mostly behaved, and I mostly behaved. We decorated the outside of the house (Sis did not, because she’s a lazy fat fuck). We had lots of food, but I think I did ok, eating wise. Mom felt the need to point out everything BIL ate, which was a shit ton of food. Yes, Mom, I know he is also a disgusting fat slob. Yes, if he keeps eating that way, he won’t live to be 30. We can only hope!

And I had lots of fun with Niece. We played with play dough, colored, and ran laps around the house, with me sometimes chasing her, and her sometimes chasing me. She is still very interested in books and balls, and I can get her to count to five. She also really likes puzzles, and we played with her big push car outside when it was warm.

It was fun, and she is cute. But, she is a toddler, so there were some temper tantrums. She’s willful and it’s hard to get her to eat. She was obsessed with the cupcakes Mom brought for my birthday, and threw a huge tantrum on Friday night because she wanted (another) one. I was horrified, watching her roll on the floor and throw things, but Mom just laughed.

“Listen to that fake cry!” she said. “So fake.”

“I can’t tell. How do you know she hasn’t hurt herself?”

“Her cries all sound different. This one is very fake.”

And sure enough, her fit stopped, and her face wasn’t red and her eyes weren’t wet. She just looked pouty, and Mom cackled. “See? You little faker! This isn’t my first rodeo, you can’t fool me.”

So although I really had fun playing with Niece, I realized that I am absolutely, 100 percent, completely totally unabashedly certain I do not want kids, ever. I just can’t handle it. The kid absolutely consumes your life and dominates all of your attention. She rules the roost. Every doorway has a baby gate. You can’t use half the kitchen, because every cabinet and drawer within her reach must be kept empty or baby proofed. The beautiful built-in bookshelves in the den are covered in chickenwire, else she pulls everything off the shelves. She controls everything on the TV. And you just have to watch her so closely, and do everything for her. Endless laundry, endless baths, endless cleaning, endless cooking. And she supplies endless noise, endless messes, endless energy, endless drama. I watched my mom nimbly take up Thanksgiving dinner, dancing around Niece who ran under her feet the entire time. I watched Niece kick Mom in the face during a diaper change. I watched Niece throw her plate of mac and cheese against the wall and scream.

There is no way I want that. Ever. No man on this planet could convince me to have a kid. Nothing is ever going to change my mind.

Yeah, Niece gave me sweet smiles and hugs. Her giggle is incredible. Watching her intently focus on her puzzle pieces is amazing. And when she cuddles with Mom on the couch to watch a movie, Mom looks so content, so happy.

But no. No way. That is not the life choice for me. If you want kids, have them. But my uterus is not available. My tits are for show, not work. My home is exactly the way I want it, and I won’t change it for others. My life is mine and no one else’s.

So yeah. Typical holiday.

Traffic was atrocious coming home; it poured rain across the entire state for the full seven hours. But it was a relief to be home in my quiet space with my cats and my books and my bed.

Tomorrow, back to work, bleh. I have random odds and ends I need to do, bits and pieces of in progress projects that are held up by others. It will be nice, though, to see MC, and I hope M is in a better mood.

Tonorrow night, and next Monday night too, I have a ticket for an informal lecture as part of this series Profs and Pints. It’s at a bar in Dupont, so I will metro in to the city and walk a few blocks. I am trying to go out, to do things. I don’t know if I will manage to talk to people, but I am going to give it a try. Tomorrow’s subject is race and evolution.

Tuesday is my birthday. Blargh, whatever. I told M I don’t want to do anything. Secretly I hope MC remembers, although he won’t. My Idiot Boss’s birthday is the day after mine, so I am sure she will come over and blather about it. I don’t want anyone to acknowledge it, just him! Last year he was the only one who knew for some reason (a list of everyone’s birthdays is in the kitchen, but I don’t know what prompted him to look at it), and he came over to where I was sitting–I had stupidly been moved to the other quad for a few weeks so I wasn’t with my team–and he asked, quietly, “Is today your birthday?” When I said yes he said, “Happy birthday,” all softly and earnestly, and he winked, and I swooned and came a little, because I am that tightly wound.

Where was I going with this?

Anyway, Sis gave me a lovely photo collage of Niece reading. Dad gave me $500, which I will put toward Iceland debt, or Christmas, or maybe Peru. (Peru is in jeopardy but I don’t want to discuss that right now.) He also gave me an ugly Christmas sweater with a cat on it, which I found quite funny and will legit wear to work. Mom forgot her gift and was very upset about it, though I assured her it didn’t matter and she could mail it later.

32. Getting to be an old maid.

So yeah, there’s a fairly complete update of life right now. I may take a nap now, just because I can.

[brittneybb1988-blog]

Fuck boi. Installment 1

It’s 3:07am. On a cold Wednesday night. Hump day was our thing. We humped on hump day ( now that I think about it ...once) and you made that joke to me... after of course and I think that’s when I fell a little bit more in like with you.

I am laying here wide awake. Unable to stop my self from thinking about you.

Wondering if you are thinking of me too.

But of course you aren’t. You are cuddled up with her. I am sure you haven’t even given me a second thought. You sun of a mothering fucking beach. You lied. You lied to me... and I believed you. Hung on your every word. Felt sorry for you. I feel like such an idiot.

Anyway , it’s 3:11am now. I should stop thinking about you. Because you sure as Shit aren’t thinking about me. There’s no possible way you could have ever cared for me ... or “respected” me as you once said.

People who care about other people... don’t do what you did.

There are three sides to every story. I only have mine. And I have to tell it. Because it’s eating me up inside that I got tricked sooooo badly. I know some of you reading this are thinking “same” and I wish you weren’t.

Here’s my story of the ultimate fuck boi. The one... you know the one. The one who played you for a fool. The one who made you feel like the only girl in the world. And then for some reason... left you standing alone... crying by your car on Friday the 13th. The one who made you feel bad for him AS HE WAS BREAKING UP WITH YOU!

Who the fuck does that?

It’s 3:16am now. This is helping me feel better. I feel like I need to vent this. Share it with the world. And I need to do it in just the right way. It’s hard to let someone know just how much they hurt you. But I’ll never tell anyone ( except all of you ) how bad this one got me. Where to start this story? “Of the two week fling” “ just forget about me” fuuuuuck you. (Those are things he has said after the fact) like whoa Bro don’t tell me how to feel 😂 I wish I could just let this go. Why can’t I just Elsa it and let this mothering fucking all of it go? I’ll tell you why, cause I was a fool. I feel slighted and taken advantage of.

Also never ever date anyone at work. Sure some people get married to their co workers but you have to remember.... they are the exception not the rule. And honey... I am the rule.

I decided to quit my job of five years. A week before my 5 year anniversary. I had loved my job. Still love my old co workers to death. They are amazing and I only stayed as long as I did because I loved them. I just woke up one day and said I hate my life. I applied for 17 jobs that day. The first one to call... was an hour and a half after I applied. I had my little phone interview... face to face the next day. I was offered the job Thursday of that week. I applied Monday . Quick turn around!

I wasn’t sure I’d go through with it. Leaving my cozy job I hated making lots of money for a chance at something new. With less pay. I kind of regret this choice now. But mostly, I am grateful I did it. My new job has a lot of pluses. And mostly I am happy. I know I promised you a story about a fuck boi... I am getting there . You have to know where it started. And I’d like to think... it started when I put my 2 week notice in on my five year anniversary. And quit my old job. Out with the old Britney... in with the new.

How weird to care about a job again? It had been easily 2 years since I gave a rats ass about my job. That’s a long time. A long time. I still miss it sometimes. I mean it was only 4 months ago. I guess I do have feelings. I care a lot . I just try to hide it. I have a terrible fear of being vulnerable. That’s a whole other story though.

I started my new job July 10th . After some encouraging words from an old boss/ fling. He always has had my best interests at heart. Which is endearing and sweet baby Jesus am I glad he got promoted shortly after I took the position. It was nice to see him but holy crazy. Again, that’s another story. ( are you seeing a trend? Maybe it’s me that’s crazy! I’ll tell this story and you can be the judge)

So I start the new job. I decided I’d create a new persona. Super nice and forgiving And I’d wear dresses and makeup everyday. Really try for this new job. And I did. Still do. Training for this new job was 90 days. Three months . Three long months. I vowed not to date anyone at work early into training. I’d done that before... it never works out. Maybe it’s me.

Then one day... I’d say like my third week of training... I saw him. Sitting on the other side of the call center. Tall , semi handsome and you know what? I won’t lie to you... I fell in that moment. I fell hard for this bearded stranger. He was physically everything I’d ever wanted in a man. Nice smile, easy on the eyes and wearing a Deadpool shirt with tacos on it. My dream guy . I wish I could take the moment back. I wish so so much I could take it all back. But I can’t.

This hurts more writing it then I thought it would. I feel so vulnerable. And if he ever reads this... I think it would make it worse. But he’s not really into this style of writing so I think I am safe? Fuck it. I get to tell my side. For me. No one owns me. No one gets to down play my feelings. Not even you.

It’s now 3:41am. I am currently trying to get my self back together. No one really knows how bad this rocked me. I am always the tough girl. But this one really hurt. And it hasn’t stopped hurting. I am doing what I always do. Fake it til you make it. And it was working. It really was. Until the latest little update in this saga. And now it feels like I have been hurt all over again. As I write this... I seriously wonder if anyone gives a flying fuck about this. About me. About my story. I’ll never let anyone read this... so we will never know.

Anyway. Back to the day that ruined my life. It’s 3:44am now. I’ll write until 4am and then I like have to go to bed.

I saw him. Made eye contact and I Shit you not... I fell in love right there. Right on the spot. I know Love is a strong word. For only knowing someone such a short time. But I loved him. In that moment. And for a while after.

Any way... after the eye contact. I tried to avoid him. It was the first time I’d seen him... how hard could it be? Answer : very hard. I started seeing him everywhere. Out side... walking by my desk. I thought it was all a coincidence... I found out later I was wrong. So wrong.

It took me a long time to say hi. He’d say hi... I’d not reply. Then one day... I told him I liked his shirt. A few weeks later... I sat at his desk in training. And I looked through his stuff. Because I am nosey as fuck. And I ran into him outside later that day... and told him I looked through his stuff. And that I liked his hat. He then gifted me this hat. ( which has since been gifted to my best friends child because fuck that noise. Thanks for ruining Pikachu for me, you dirty lying cunt)

Update ... it’s 350am. I am getting tired. I wonder if I should like post this somewhere? Or if I should just close my eyes and go to sleep. Pray the lord my soul to keep. Do re mi so fucking done with you girl! Lol

Where does one ever post this? Nah can’t post it. One person reads this that I know... and they will know it’s me. I can’t lie or hide very well. Even if it’s all name changed. Fuck it. Maybe they won’t. Maybe they will. What’s going to make me feel better? All this inner monologue. I sound crazy as fuck right now. *giggle* maybe I am.

Fuck it. Let’s post it. If anyone thinks I should keep going... with the story. I will. Fuck it . I will anyway .

Here goes nothing.