#rp text starters

[promptfairy]

❥    𝐋𝐘𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐒 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐔𝐍𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋 𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏 𝐃𝐘𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐂𝐒    [   𝚂𝙴𝙽𝚃𝙴𝙽𝙲𝙴 𝚂𝚃𝙰𝚁𝚃𝙴𝚁𝚂    ]   .

designed for ships, but can be used for a variety of relationship types. change gendered language/add context to your needs. happy roleplaying !!  ♡

❛  it feels so good to be bad.  ❜ ❛  it really makes me wonder if i ever gave a fuck about you.  ❜ ❛  give me something to believe in.  ❜ ❛  i don’t believe in you anymore.  ❜ ❛  i wonder if it even makes a difference to try.  ❜ ❛  so, this is goodbye.  ❜ ❛  one day i’ll wake up & it won’t hurt anymore.  ❜ ❛  it’s like i can’t even feel after the way you touched me.  ❜ ❛  you’re everything that i want, but you don’t want me.  ❜ ❛  am i a regret, yet?  ❜ ❛  was it worth what it costed?  ❜ ❛  you make me nauseous.  ❜ ❛  you’re overrated.  ❜ ❛  when i think of you, i just want to throw up.  ❜ ❛  all my friends say that you’re toxic.  ❜ ❛  why does love suck?  ❜ ❛  love hurts whether it’s right or wrong.  ❜ ❛  i can’t stop, i’m having too much fun.  ❜ ❛  you can’t save me, baby.  ❜ ❛  you never call or listen to me anyway.  ❜ ❛  where were you tuesday, october tenth?  ❜ ❛  how is your jacket covered in blood?  ❜ ❛  how was the party? did you have fun?  ❜ ❛  i fell in love with the warning signs.  ❜ ❛  the only time i feel alive is when i’m touching the warning signs.  ❜ ❛  if you tell me to stay away, i’m gonna dive in again.  ❜ ❛  my favorite color is red like the flags you fly overhead.  ❜ ❛  well, i should have known.  ❜ ❛  didn’t you see it coming? didn’t you see the signs?  ❜ ❛  i’ll break your pretty face.  ❜ ❛  bite your tongue & choke yourself to sleep.  ❜ ❛  you can hold my hand if no one’s home.   ❜ ❛  do you like it when i’m away?  ❜ ❛  you’re a pond & i’m an ocean.  ❜ ❛  all my emotions feel like explosions when you are around.  ❜ ❛  i am a wreck when i’m without you.  ❜ ❛  was it something i said to make you feel like you’re a burden?  ❜ ❛  tell me, is it worth it?  ❜ ❛  she’s a lady & i am just a line without a hook.  ❜ ❛  do what you want as long as you stay here.  ❜ ❛  you’ll change your name or change your mind & leave this fucked up place behind, but i’ll know.  ❜ ❛  if you ever try to leave me, i’ll find you, [name].  ❜ ❛  i’ll be the bad guy, now.  ❜ ❛  i couldn’t be there, even when i tried.  ❜ ❛  seasons changed & our love went cold.  ❜ ❛  i knew that this was doomed from the get-go.  ❜ ❛  you thought that it was special, but it was just the sex, though.  ❜ ❛  it’s only me; what have you got to lose?  ❜ ❛  you should take it as a compliment that i got drunk & made fun of the way you talk.  ❜ ❛  you should think about the consequence of your magnetic field being a little too strong.  ❜ ❛  you’re so cool, it makes me hate you so much.  ❜ ❛  you’ve ruined my life by not being mine.  ❜ ❛  you’re so gorgeous, i can’t say anything to your face. ’cause look at your face.  ❜ ❛  i’m so furious at you for making me feel this way.  ❜ ❛  if you’ve got a girlfriend, i’m jealous of her. but if you’re single, that’s honestly worse.  ❜ ❛  you’re so gorgeous, it actually hurts.  ❜ ❛  you make me so happy, it turns back to sad.  ❜ ❛  there’s nothing i hate more than what i can’t have.  ❜ ❛  guess i’ll just stumble on home to my cats. alone … unless you wanna come along?  ❜ ❛  you look so happy when i’m not with you.  ❜ ❛  i don’t know why i run away.  ❜ ❛  take me back, ’cause i wanna stay.  ❜ ❛  i kept my distance ’cause i know that you don’t like when i’m with somebody else.  ❜ ❛  i couldn’t help it; i put you through hell.  ❜ ❛  i realize that it’s much too late, & you deserve someone better.  ❜ ❛  i’m not the best at breaking up.  ❜ ❛  i like my alone time, but i want somebody to hold.  ❜ ❛  i get what i want. i keep it for a minute. then i let it go.  ❜ ❛  i hate it when you’re there for me, but i like it when you hit the spot.  ❜ ❛  i don’t do fake love, but i’ll take some from you tonight.  ❜ ❛  i don’t expect you to understand.  ❜ ❛  i’m ready to die holding your hand.  ❜ ❛  i can’t hide how i feel about you inside.  ❜ ❛  i’d give everything up tonight, if i could just have you be mine.  ❜ ❛  i’d give up everything for you.  ❜

[oceansprompts]

text message prompts

[text] You okay?

[text] GO TO BED!

[text] hey you better be alive in there

[text] SOS save me please holy shit

[text] call me this date is going so bad

[text] I have way too much shit to do.

[text] Honestly I'm really worried about you.

[text] Why are you trending on Twitter?

[text] Please let me come over and pet your (pet).

[text] We are in the same building, you could come talk to me.

[text] It's not going to work out.

[text] This is a terrible idea.

[text] people have fetishes

[text] They really do crucify anyone these days huh

[text] I don't know why but that really means me want to stab you

[text] That movie was awful.

[text] For the love of god please help me

[text] I fucked up. I fucked up really bad.

[text] I'm blocking you.

[text] YOU ONE BRAINCELLED BITCH

[text] I regret swiping right.

[text] Everyone lies on their dating profiles.

[text] That absolutely can't be an actual picture of you.

[text] This forced open my third eye and I saw the devil

[text] I'm like a child in line for the newest fucked up disney ride

-

[text] That's just all fucking sorts of fucked up

[text] Why are we here? To suffer? Every other day I get messages that cause pain

[text] In the department of old man fucking, we've got you beat.

[text] have you gotten any work done?

[text] I am beyond shame, try again

[text] You left your left your underwear at my place.

[text] Don't you dare put this on Facebook.

[text] My brother in Christ you're being haunted

[text] I want to wring you like a wet towel and slap you against a wall

[text] The mind is weak but the body is funky

[text] I'm a zombie the law can't stop me.

[text] Jealous of my massive honkers

[text] We left you to die to play minecraft

[text] She would never ever take away one of these stupid fucking hats

[text] I puked all over the Uber driver's backseat.

[text] I just took a screenshot of that and posted it to Reddit

[text] You said you'd be right back and it's been months.

[text] Can't we talk about this face to face?

[text] Yeah, you'll come learn I just have a thing for milk

[text] Why did you like one of my pics from 2014?

[text] Now's as good a time as any to exchange nudes.

[text] Why would you send me an eggplant emoji?

[text] I write five paragraphs, pouring my heart out, and all you reply with is k?!

[text] Who would dare to lie on the internet?

[text] When I die, please delete all my shit off the internet

[text] He's so hot, I briefly started texting like a straight person

[text] And because I'm god and I've decided that; no, in fact, I'm not done.

-

[text] I know you love bloopy reggae jams, now is not the time.

[text] You better not be standing catatonic in your room again.

[text] God has abandoned his children but unfortunately for you I pay child support and I will smite thee.

[text]: My neighbor just told me he can fix my water heater for 50 bucks. I’m skeptical.

[text]: Do you have any idea how much it costs to buy apples? I paid 10 dollars for 6.

[text]: I mean, I wouldn’t say I have a problem with buying Squishmallows..

[text]: Hey, so you know how you told me no dog? *sends pic* I don’t do well with no’s.

[text] Stuart Little is a bitch and Remy could take him any day.

[text]: My roommate just said that Lola Bunny is hot. I’m moving out.

[text]: Hey I posted that vid of you drunk, singing Ariana Grande, wearing all black and people said not to do it again. Sorry.

[text]: Do you think the price is ever right? Like, I feel like it’s not.

[text]: I booped your nose. Boop the last five people you texted or–nothing happens really.

[text]: I’m actually in the ER and it’s a long story that involves Best Day Ever from spongebob.

[text]: I fucking hate you–wait you’re not my ex. Who are you?

[text]: You ever ask yourself if birds see a bee and just go ‘wow a bee’? im high.

[text]: sometimes all i think about is–sour patch kids. bet you thought it was you.

[text]: I love you—not as much as I love my dog. But still a lot!

[text]: I found a cat on the way home and now it’s mine. But it hates my guts so this should be fun.

[text]: I have questions about the marvel cinematic universe…how long do you have?

[text]: why do donald duck and winnie the pooh not have to wear pants but other people do?

[text]: Hey you know that show floor is lava? I may have turned the apartment into that..this isn’t a joke, btw. the floor is sticky.

[text]: I bought too much soap off etsy and now I don’t know what to do with it…I smell like Captain America.

[text]: On a scale of one to ten, how many drinks would you need to sleep with me? This isn’t a tiktok trend…or it is.

[poohsources]

🐝  *  ―  𝑭𝑳𝑰𝑹𝑻𝒀 𝑻𝑬𝑿𝑻 𝑴𝑬𝑺𝑺𝑨𝑮𝑬𝑺. 

[ 📲 sms: ]  i hate everyone. but not you. [ 📲 sms: ]  want to make a beautiful memory together? [ 📲 sms: ]  i'd rather do nothing with you than something with anyone else. [ 📲 sms: ]  netflix? chill? both? [ 📲 sms: ]  can't stop thinking about you. [ 📲 sms: ]  you're my favorite veggie. a cute-cumber! [ 📲 sms: ]  i adore you. that's all. [ 📲 sms: ]  you make me a better person and i'd like to keep improving. [ 📲 sms: ]  it's cold today. can you warm me up? [ 📲 sms: ]  i'm into curves, and my favorite is your smile. [ 📲 sms: ]  my day is more fun when you're in it. [ 📲 sms: ]  you were in my dreams last night. wanna hear? [ 📲 sms: ]  you were the first thing i thought of when i woke up. [ 📲 sms: ]  i already miss you and can't wait to see you again. [ 📲 sms: ]  what would you do if i were with you right now? [ 📲 sms: ]  hey stranger. stop being a stranger. [ 📲 sms: ]  this is me asking you out. want to get coffee tomorrow? [ 📲 sms: ]  nobody understands me like you do. [ 📲 sms: ]  i wish you were here with me. [ 📲 sms: ]  you never text first. i can’t tell if you hate me or if you’re playing hard to get. [ 📲 sms: ]  which emoji makes you think of me? [ 📲 sms: ]  want to have this conversation in person? [ 📲 sms: ]  i don’t have anything interesting to tell you, but i really wanted to talk to you. [ 📲 sms: ]  everything makes me think of you. [ 📲 sms: ]  i can't sleep. i blame you. [ 📲 sms: ]  surprise! i got you flowers: 💐 [ 📲 sms: ]  i can't help but smile every time your name pops up on my screen. [ 📲 sms: ]  you look so good right now. i can’t actually see you, but i assume you look good because you always do. [ 📲 sms: ]  even over text you're so charming. [ 📲 sms: ]  i'm smiling just thinking about getting to see you later. [ 📲 sms: ]  my day would've been a lot better if i'd gotten to spend it with you. [ 📲 sms: ]  i'm really glad to have you in my life. [ 📲 sms: ]  i could talk to you all night. [ 📲 sms: ]  just thinking about falling in love with you. i'd do it all over again and again. [ 📲 sms: ]  you mean the world to me. don’t ever forget that. [ 📲 sms: ]  i'm so incredibly lucky to know you. [ 📲 sms: ]  you get more beautiful every time i see you. [ 📲 sms: ]  you are my heart. [ 📲 sms: ]  you’re single. i'm single. i feel like this is a problem we can solve together. [ 📲 sms: ]  thinking a lot of things about you i can’t say … but i could text.

[mad3lyncline]

𝑻𝑬𝑿𝑻𝑺 𝑭𝑹𝑶𝑴 𝑨𝑵 𝑼𝑵𝑯𝑰𝑵𝑮𝑬𝑫 𝑴𝑼𝑺𝑬 𝑹𝑶𝑺𝑻𝑬𝑹 . starters taken from ridiculous texts my muses have sent on wire / discord .

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] did you know turtles smell thru their butts i think i'm pretty sure

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] okay so you hate soup ?? i'm telling the soup and bisque communities

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] you're gonna be so shocked and embarrassed you ever doubted me

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] trying to figure out how to work alvin and the chipmunks into my daily routine , thoughts ?

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH [ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] fuck no 💀

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] i'm gonna bite ur knees clean off i stg

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] is there an olympic event for drinking vodka lemonade 🤔

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] i crack myself up actually ???? skill issue

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] WHAT KIND OF PSYCHOPATH DO YOU THINK I AM OBVIOUSLY I USED MILK

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] i bet in philadelphia they would be kind and understanding if i said it wrong

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] yeah well you're also ceo of the stinky butthole corporation

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] shut up i'm gonna poke you in the pee hole

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] how mind blowing does the head need to be for you to come with me to a jonas brothers concert 🤔🤔

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] what if i bought a butter churn

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] what do you have against crunchy chicken

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] do you think spongebob and sandy have boned

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] do you think plankton and karen the computer wife are trapped in a loveless marriage

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] do you think patrick is permafried

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] we don't have to go to waffle house [ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] let's go to waffle HOME

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] good good so in conclusion i'm always right and you should agree with me always and also tell me i'm pretty 24/7

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] im gonna kick ur ass in a pillow fight later

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] i have to bc if i ever turn into a spider with one human leg i'm FUCKED

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] you tried :/ it was endearing in a what the hell is wrong with you sort of way

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] what if they like murder and hate puppies

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] how long is the gestation period for a giraffe

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] birds [ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] what do we think

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] we might as well just make out about it i guess

[taggedmemes]

SENTENCE MEME BALDUR'S GATE 3 / PART FOUR

i'll feed your innards to the ants before i do that.

you're not here to play with the locals.

question, kill, then move on.

fail her at your peril.

were i not merciful, i would slice the skin clean from your meat.

i am nothing if not merciful.

tell me: why shouldn't i run you through this instant?

you are nothing until i tell you otherwise.

nothing even approaching a useful thought in that skulll.

it costs me nothing to spare your sorry life.

i required your silence and you made me a mockery.

save your anger for the enemies.

i will skewer the jeretic with his own silver sword.

don't trust a word out of her mouth.

you were supposed to rush to my defense.

fat lot of good you are.

she could shoot fireworks out of her backside for all i care.

i don't know what just happened any more than you do.

not my usual quarry, not my usual ally.

your faith is your own concern, not mine.

i didn't think you'd react so pragmatically.

in the future, i expect you to be honest.

as if mingling with a horde of goblins wasn't bad enough.

let's do what we have to, then get out of here.

let's not linger in this place any more than necessary.

pain without purpose is a terrible thing.

you bore the pain like a true believer.

i don't think i have the stomach for this.

this place was supposed to be abandoned.

a joy to see a familiar face in such a precarious setting.

a fine mess you landed yourself in.

how better to learn the ways of a people than to live among them.

one should cherish all of nature's bounty, but goblin guts are quite far down the list.

you're a true friend of nature, or perhaps a lunatic.

it's unbecoming to demand honorifics from the one who saved my hide.

you weren't speaking lightly when you said you needed help.

that doesn't mean i can't help.

you have my sincere sympathies.

the magic used is beyond me. it's either not of this world, or so ancient as to be lost to even nature's memory.

the natural order must be protected.

there's no order anymore, only chaos.

chaos is welcome in doses.

i'm practically an expert.

you're either an excellent storyteller or you've experiences something quite exceptional.

i'd be irresponsible not to debunk such a strange claim.

i cannot trust my own mind.

there is great potential within you.

you're looking for solutions in the wrong places.

if we work together, we may turn this around.

until it is found, i will take something precious from you every hour that passes.

silence now, or i will silence you forever.

he's been resilient, but he'll talk.

i will have an explanation, or your head.

i do not wish to spill blood here.

come daylight, we will find a place to end this.

you can accept you're wrong, or we'll be rid of you permanently.

you had every chance to look the other way.

you chose this.

don't expect to be mourned.

she's a liability.

thieves aren't afforded such luxuries.

loosen the grip on your pride for one blasted moment, won't you?

imagine what we might achieve if we channeled some of that hostility back at our real foes instead of each other.

[edenmemes]

red dead redemption 1 starters

❝ it’s wanting that gets so many folks in trouble. ❞ ❝ it ain’t no secret i didn’t get these scars falling over in church. ❞ ❝ if you win power, remember why you wanted it. ❞ ❝ you do a man wrong, he’ll shoot you for it. you do a man right…well, he still may shoot you for it. ❞ ❝ trust me. there’s things you’re better off not knowing. ❞ ❝ you remind me a lot of myself. how i used to be. stubborn and angry. ❞ ❝ i hope you will give me some warning if you get the sudden urge to kill me. ❞ ❝ my side wasn’t chosen. my side was given. ❞ ❝ a little sore, but apart from a couple extra scars, it will be as nothing happened. ❞ ❝ i don’t think you’re a bad person. a little stupid perhaps, but not rotten. ❞ ❝ i certainly don’t mind you asking, if you don’t mind me not telling. ❞ ❝ you are being deliberately obscure as a substitute for having a personality. ❞ ❝ so do tell me, have you needlessly risked your life since we last spoke? ❞ ❝ i came into this world fighting. and i’ll go out of it fighting. ❞ ❝ i hear you speak and suddenly i'm reminded of how the people i respected most in my life had a problem with authority. ❞ ❝ you're looking much better. considering you were almost buzzard food a couple days ago. ❞ ❝ power is like a drink. the more you have, the more you want. ❞ ❝ people don’t forget. nothing gets forgiven. ❞ ❝ sometimes in the service of what is right, you got to do terrible things. ❞ ❝ you have quite a story. i really am a little jealous. ❞ ❝ old friends make the worst enemies. ❞ ❝ i had everything, and gave it up in the pursuit of nothing. ❞ ❝ hah. you were always bad at lying. ❞ ❝ i’m not going to stand by and watch good people suffer. ❞ ��� some trees flourish, others die. some cattle grow strong, others are taken by wolves. some men are born rich enough and dumb enough to enjoy their lives. ain't nothing fair. you know that. ❞ ❝ if you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging. ❞ ❝ now, if you don't mind, i'd hate to spoil such a beautiful afternoon on such beautiful land with any further unpleasantries. ❞ ❝ i, too, have a family, friend. and so that we may see our families again i suggest we part ways amicably. ❞ ❝ sometimes i tell myself that everything happens for a reason. ❞ ❝ i see the good in everybody. it’s a flaw of mine. ❞ ❝ well, try not to get yourself killed. ❞ ❝ see if you can keep your gun holstered for once. ❞ ❝ i don’t pay much attention to rumors. ❞ ❝ i swear, if it was down to me, i’d never have gone anywhere. ❞ ❝ lock all the doors. whatever happens, don’t come outside. you hear me? whatever happens. ❞ ❝ what would you care? i’m just a nuisance to you anyway. ❞ ❝ i’ve been hearing some things about you. ❞ ❝ i would rather be dead than a cynic like you. ❞ ❝ damn, a little gratitude wouldn’t kill you. ❞ ❝ trust me, i ain’t no hero. ❞ ❝ as it turns out, it's you or me. the way i see it, might as well be you. ❞ ❝ you live in a dream world. it ain’t like they tell it in books. ❞ ❝ i’m asking you to do what i say, before you get yourself killed. ❞ ❝ those who sit on the fence make a choice…in their own way. ❞ ❝ i’d do anything for you, you know that. ❞ ❝ better watch your mouth, my friend. i've cut out a man's tongue for less. ❞ ❝ there's nothing worse than a nobody thinking he's a somebody. ❞ ❝ you got it all wrong. i’ve always loved you, even now. ❞ ❝ what the hell were you thinking, going off on your own? ❞ ❝ first impressions are hard to erase. ❞ ❝ it’s a long story. too long to tell without a drink in my hand. ❞ ❝ i’m not angry. i’m disappointed. ❞ ❝ you know me. i’ll be late to my own funeral. ❞ ❝ that tone of voice ain’t so becoming on you. makes you seem all pent up and angry. ❞ ❝ you think i don’t know who you are. ❞ ❝ why don’t i get a warm and tender embrace? ❞ ❝ what do you want me to say? yippee? ❞ ❝ there’s always a choice. you’re just too blind to see. ❞ ❝ you’re not ready for that yet. one step at a time. ❞ ❝ every time you go off, i worry you’re not coming back. ❞ ❝ it didn’t have to be this way. ❞ ❝ come on now. try to look on the bright side. ❞

❝ after all i taught you…i’m ashamed. ❞ ❝ it’s easy to make promises you can never keep. ❞ ❝ we all make mistakes. i never claimed to be a saint. ❞ ❝ how does it feel to kill hundreds of men in cold blood? ❞ ❝ it ain’t the first time i had a gun to my head. ❞ ❝ you’re not perfect, and i’m sure not. but you’re better than they are. ❞ ❝ you alright? you’re not hurt, are you? ❞ ❝ this really couldn’t have gone more horribly wrong. ❞ ❝ you’re just like me. you can’t change who you are. ❞ ❝ my whole life, all i ever did was fight. ❞ ❝ you’re in no position to make demands. ❞ ❝ the bright side? there ain’t no bright side. ❞ ❝ my heart’s beating like a drum. ❞ ❝ are you sure you’re alright? i mean, i know all that business must have been hard on you. ❞ ❝ you’ll make me blush with all these kind words. ❞ ❝ i never took you for the jealous type. ❞ ❝ come now, you’re stupid, but you’re not that stupid. ❞ ❝ you’re weak. you always were. you never had the stomach for this. ❞ ❝ seems real quiet, don’t you think? ❞ ❝ you were always a hard and nasty man. ❞ ❝ see, i have nothing but your best intentions at heart. ❞ ❝ don’t talk about things you don’t understand. ❞ ❝ i guess there’s only one room for one hero in this family. ❞ ❝ for a wise man, you are a really stupid man. ❞ ❝ what would have happened if i hadn’t come along? ❞ ❝ you must have mistaken me for someone else, friend. ❞ ❝ you ain’t very talkative, are you? ❞ ❝ we cannot be too careful. the world is very dangerous. ❞ ❝ no, i’m not okay. do i look like i’m okay? ❞ ❝ you are so tense all the time. come, let’s have some fun! ❞ ❝ i will stay and fight. i am ready to die if necessary. ❞ ❝ i know i can’t change the past but i’m sure gonna do something about the future. ❞ ❝ i’ve given you no reason not to trust me. ❞ ❝ choose your tone rightly. remember who you’re talking to. ❞ ❝ there are guards everywhere. if they see you, they will kill you. ❞ ❝ it was nothing. i’m not a kid any more.❞ ❝ a lonely, forsaken place. some people say it’s haunted. ❞ ❝ i’m not sure your idea of paradise and mine are the same. ❞ ❝ maybe if you were more cordial to folks, they’d be better inclined to help you. ❞ ❝ i’ve been in far worse situations. ❞ ❝ you have the exterior of a violent man, but the soul of an angel. ❞ ❝ you’re not gonna pass out on me, are you? ❞ ❝ you’re no better. how many men have you killed? ❞ ❝ stay alert. something doesn’t feel right. ❞

❝ i'm going to hand you over to them and watch them tear you limb from limb…i'm just kidding. ❞ ❝ you love to talk badly of other people because it makes you feel better about yourself. ❞ ❝ it’s been a pleasure spending time with you. ❞ ❝ that’s a lot of sacrifice. i just hope it’s worth it. ❞ ❝ i’m not cut out for this. no, not cut out for this at all. ❞ ❝ i don’t need you to show me. ❞ ❝ men are born, and then they're formed. at least, that’s how i see it. ❞ ❝ a little flattery…now we’re finally getting somewhere. ❞ ❝ i thought you were supposed to be fearless. ❞ ❝ you are a man who has lost his spirit. ❞ ❝ if you were less secretive, people might be more inclined to trust you. ❞ ❝ me mean me no harm? this is funny. what harm could you do to me, exactly? ❞ ❝ come on, after everything we’ve been through, i think we can trust each other, don’t you? ❞ ❝ i can’t rightly believe it. just like in the books. ❞ ❝ i didn’t ask for your help back there. i owe you nothing. ❞ ❝ be careful. what’s stopping me from killing you? ❞ ❝ one day, i promise you, you’re gonna regret this. ❞ ❝ you know i’ll do whatever i can, but i have problems of my own. ❞ ❝ what would you know about leadership? ❞ ❝ you make a choice by not making a choice, you know. ❞ ❝ hold your excuses until you figure out which one to use. ❞ ❝ i'll give you a bad case of "someone just shot me in the head" if you don't hurry up. ❞ ❝ being honest though, this tastes bad enough to kill a man. ❞ ❝ do i look like i need saving? ❞ ❝ sarcasm should be beneath a man such as you. ❞ ❝ are you always this stupid or are you making an extra effort today? ❞ ❝ i don’t like to kill a man on his knees, even if he deserves it. ❞ ❝ don't forget you need me more than i need you. ❞ ❝ i’ll hunt you to hell and back. ❞ ❝ you’d best not be lying to me. ❞ ❝ let's get going. before the weather gets any worse. that sky don't look good.. ❞ ❝ thank you for telling me all that back there. it must have been hard for you. ❞ ❝ i know we ain't exactly old pals, but…have i ever done you wrong? ❞ ❝ your nobility's almost as affecting as your naivety. ❞ ❝ you are a romantic who wants to be a cynic. ❞ ❝ i apologize if i seem to be prying. ❞ ❝ strange place for a decent person to visit, if you don't mind me saying. ❞ ❝ well, you must admit…it's an unusual start to a friendship. ❞ ❝ i can’t really say i understand you. ❞ ❝ every man has a right to change, a chance of forgiveness. ❞ ❝ hello, old friend. it’s been a long time. ❞ ❝ i hope you understand now why i've been playing my cards somewhat close to my chest. ❞ ❝ nobody made my path but me. ❞ ❝ it’ll be a piece of cake. trust me. ❞ ❝ oh, don’t be so deliberately enigmatic. ❞ ❝ my word, what a difficult life you’ve lived. ❞ ❝ you have a strange sense of humor. ❞ ❝ stay and fight me, you coward. ❞ ❝ i ain't planning on staying very long. ❞

[lucifersresources]

stupid shit said in discord servers part four meme. ft special guests from my dnd party!

edit/alter/change pronouns etc as you see fit!  

i never wanna think a cop is funny.

flirty rat man was my nickname in college.

the moon sounds like a fun place to be.

thinking a cop is funny is a gateway drug to being a republican.

today i learned she would punch a seagull.

booty call via shared thoughts.

it's fallen angel math.

i want em gorgeous, awful and bloody.

the fuck did i just read.

i just didn't know what knotting was. i miss those times. i miss five minutes ago.

you're not an edgelord, you're just pathetic.

there will be no butt sniffing in my god fearing house!

wanna see how gay my kindle looks?

i saw a book review titled "unlikely travel companions fight their inner demons" and i just think that's all of us

come to america and we can lay down together with no spoons

sitting in vc with the two of you is probably a bit like couples therapy

i'm not a planner i'm a go with the flow-er

penguins are all non binary, confirmed

the world is a gay penguin waiting to fly

this is a win for the lgbtqa+ community, penguins are gay

new pride mascot just dropped: penguins

it'll be me shoving you in the PIT OF HELL

i'd push my friendguin off an iceberg for money ngl

penguins can accidentally end up in gay relationships

penguins are friends not food

they made weed legal in my state so now all the cop dogs are confused

they always stand there dick to dick

the giraffe wanted a pillow

have you smelt the grass?

like, sure, i am picking fights, but in an affectionate way

well now i'm contractually obligated to fight you

it's like a suburban mom's wet dream

NO ONE EVER TRUSTS WHAT I SAY. THATS LIKE GIVING ME THE NUCLEAR CODES

sure, i'm better than donald trump, BUT LIKE THAT ISNT SAYING MUCH

doe, a deer, a female deer. Die, a long long way to hell -

i know you're a bot but get a grip

the jerking off motion at you is flirting

i hate it when my upper body grippers don't grip.

have you tried the lower grippers?

having to explain my joke makes me want to murder you

don't take my inches away from me, i need all the ones i can get.

nevermind, I'm not an eldritch horror anymore

are you a pretty worm?

i'll airfry a ghost i'm not afraid

kinky. not into that though

gay stuff in the creepy basement causes swollen lips?

*eddie culz voice:* say it out loud.

my brain just imagined Edward Cullen in like a rap outfit

eddie culz before the beat drops: hold on tight spider monkey

but am i a pretty melon?

what is ur secret, thumb

you guys are both bullies, you dont count

i am a hole

not to be a hole about it, but me too.

i am become cheese

mm i'm so edible.

STOP THE LESBIANISM SHES TOO OLD FOR YOU

DON'T LICK MY ASS

i was eating my ass

sometimes it takes a dick to teach

when u don't get a regular boner but a fang boner

he fakes his death a lot

the threat is… unthreatening at best.

i imagined a finger waggle. it’s important.

the ghosts are still in *name* and *name's* head. fucking sick bro.

we see an exorcist fucking freak crawling along the ceiling...

Dora The Explorer: Madre, Pick Me Up I’m Scared Edition

Skel and the eTons make their debut into the world.

YOU GOT NOTHING IN YOUR BRAIN! HOLLOW MAN NO BRAIN!!!!

critique me, writing daddy

it's me and my guiding bolt against the world

humans can’t exactly lick their own assholes

[vailtoset]

@painofhumanity for Stiles

Vail couldn’t remember the last time he had been home to Beacon Hills. It wasn’t as though he didn’t want to come home, but between his missions in Iraq and beyond, and in the last few months the Set and Ahmanet of it all, he was unable to come home. It pained him. He missed his sisters, he missed his nephew and niece.

To say he was relieved to see his entire family was an understatement from even before Ahmanet’s time.

He had his camo on, Prodigium gave him a fake passport (not that he was particularly keen on working with them, but Jenny did help him save the world…and Jekyll, that was another matter), and his canvas duffel bag slung over his shoulder.

He took a deep breath as he knocked on his sister’s door, a grin on his face at the prospect of a hint of normalcy again, despite the monster rattling around his head, trying to control him.

Family was what he needed.

[zoyalaisobachka]

Closed rp plot with @dntknowwttodo

Study groups. The perfect opportunity to deepen someone's knowledge, to create connections and having an excuse to be socially active. To be honest in the beginning of this, Nikolai wasn't convinced that it was something for him - he'd expected that it would be too distracting with the other people around and he had the talent to be distracted by a loose thread on his sweater sometimes. But in the few sessions they had so far, he found he liked it and it actually helped with the focus too. And the group consisted some very interesting people, which could be an advantage in the future. When he now entered the library of the Ravka University, he glanced at their usual table. Some of the others had posted in their group chat that they wouldn't be able to join today due to exams in the following days, which meant the group would be small today. And he was the first one here, because he came straight from the course closest to this part of the building. He wished he would've stopped by at the coffeshop though; spending the last two nights with his friend David working on some blueprints for engineering. Having a Durast in his friend group was really practical to say the last. With a sigh, he dropped his bag on the table and himself into his favourite chair. Surely wouldn't take so long until the others appeared too.

[supercutts]

         ❛  yeah,  sure,  of  course  i'm  happy  for  you     and  your  ugly  fucking  boyfriend.  ❜    brows  raise  in  feigned  innocence.    ❛  what  ?  i'm  serious  !  ❜

[gushingveins]

how do you deal with people being stupid OTHER than putting them in a trap or some shit .

“ Fuck, I don’t know. ”

He shrugged.

“ If you’re referring to someone being genuinely stupid, I usually just berate them ‘till they get whatever point i’m trying to make through their thick skulls. With assholes like Adam or Strahm, I argue with them. It doesn’t matter if I’m wrong. They give up eventually. ”

[pizzaprompts]

Kinky Text Prompts

A series of prompts surrounding texting about sex and kink. Some prompts are relative to specific body parts, so it's on the sender to make sure they consider the correct prompt. Gender can be changed up easily.

All prompts are 18+

~~~~~~~🍕~~~~~~~

[text] New kink unlocked!

[text] You can't send me pictures like that when I'm in a meeting that's not fair.

[text] The toy's okay but I'd rather that you were here doing this!

[text] I exchanged a blowjob for a ride to work today

[text] shit i think i left my underwear in the uber

[text] can you stop at the toy store and pick up another crop?

[text] No one ever talks about how annoying installing anchors is istg

[text] I tried on the new harness today and I could use a second opinion ;)

[text] okay I tried to show up at your place and surprise you with a sexy outfit but your roommate just answered and I'm only wearing a trenchcoat so uh... sorry for whatever conversations you might have later.

[text] thinking that maybe the whip was a little much for a night before work. Sitting is agony.

[text] His dick was big but he had no clue how to use it. What a waste.

[text] Want to come shopping with me tomorrow? I need new whips and you know about horses. The last time I went alone the clerk was traumatised.

[text] tbh tho the threesome was more awkward than sexy.

[text] I’ve agreed to send my gay coworker a dick pic. I need to research it now. Don’t want to look like an amateur.

[text] since I've been extra good this year can I get extra birthday beatings?

[text] I have rope burn on top of my sunburn and I am feeling miserable and need to be kissed better

[text] he called me baby girl in the middle of it and i thought id hate it but actually it was kinda hot???

[text] yeah so it turns out I'm allergic to the lube we were using

[text] frankly i think a lot of my problems would be solved if someone could just flog me for an hour. i dont think im asking for a lot

[text] Alright so I did a bit more research on it and the answer is yes. I think I'd be interested in trying that sometime. Maybe Friday so you have the weekend to recover?

[poohsources]

🐝  *  ―  𝑷𝑰𝑪𝑲 𝑼𝑷 𝑻𝑬𝑿𝑻 𝑴𝑬𝑺𝑺𝑨𝑮𝑬𝑺. 

[ 📲 message sent: ]  do you smoke pot? cause weed be cute together. [ 📲 message sent: ]  do you believe in love at first swipe or should i match with you again? [ 📲 message sent: ]  i see me in your future 🔮 [ 📲 message sent: ]  i can't see you right now but i bet you look great [ 📲 message sent: ]  can you send me a selfie? i just want to show my mom what my future partner looks like. [ 📲 message sent: ]  are you http? because without you i'm only :// [ 📲 message sent: ]  i believe in following my dreams ... so you lead the way. [ 📲 message sent: ]  should we get coffee? cause i like you a latte. [ 📲 message sent: ]  i see you like tequila ... does that mean you'll give me a shot? [ 📲 message sent: ]  you know what's beautiful? read the first word. [ 📲 message sent: ]  i bet you smiled when you saw my name pop up on your phone just now. [ 📲 message sent: ]  take a guess. which emoji did i place next to your name on my phone? [ 📲 message sent: ]  i'm sending you hugs and kisses 😘 [ 📲 message sent: ]  i just accidentally walked into a pole because i was thoughtlessly staring and smiling at your text messages. [ 📲 message sent: ]  i never believed in love at first sight until i saw your profile picture. [ 📲 message sent: ]  i do not think much. i do not think often. but when i do, i think of you. [ 📲 message sent: ]  just so you know, i'm not flirting with you. i'm just being extra nice to you since you're extra attractive. [ 📲 message sent: ]  you're so beautiful that i actually forgot that i was supposed to send you a pick-up line. [ 📲 message sent: ]  you see, i really suck at starting conversations. do you want to try? [ 📲 message sent: ]  are you free for the rest of your life? [ 📲 message sent: ]  ugh, i have to go to some boring event. will you come with me to make it fun? [ 📲 message sent: ]  hi, my name is trouble, and i'm looking for my soulmate. mind if i ask you if you have room for a little trouble in your life? [ 📲 message sent: ]  i can't figure out if i should start this conversation with a compliment, a pick-up line, or a simple hello. you choose. [ 📲 message sent: ]  they say nothing lasts forever, so will you be my nothing? [ 📲 message sent: ]  well, here i am! what are your other two wishes? 🧞 [ 📲 message sent: ]  hey, you're pretty and i'm cute. together we'd be pretty cute. [ 📲 message sent: ]  i would flirt with you, but i'd rather seduce you with my awkwardness. [ 📲 message sent: ]  when our friends ask us how we met, what are we going to tell them? funny answers only. [ 📲 message sent: ]  i had the best pickup line on the way, but i saw you and now i'm speechless. [ 📲 message sent: ]  if you were a fruit, you'd be a fineapple 🍍 [ 📲 message sent: ]  hi, i know your name is [name] but can i call you mine? [ 📲 message sent: ]  are you a bank loan? cause you have my interest. [ 📲 message sent: ]  are you religious? cause you're the answer to all my prayers. [ 📲 message sent: ]  i'm researching important dates in history. would you like to be mine? [ 📲 message sent: ]  you look like you know how to have a good time! i like it. [ 📲 message sent: ]  i know you're busy but please add me to your list of things to do. [ 📲 message sent: ]  if i told you that you had a great body would you hold it against me? [ 📲 message sent: ]  complete this sentence: you, me, and ___ [ 📲 message sent: ]  dinner first or can we go straight for dessert? [ 📲 message sent: ]  do you like sleeping? me too. we should do it together some time.

[mad3lyncline]

𝑻𝑬𝑿𝑻𝑺 𝑭𝑹𝑶𝑴 𝑨𝑵 𝑼𝑵𝑯𝑰𝑵𝑮𝑬𝑫 𝑴𝑼𝑺𝑬 𝑹𝑶𝑺𝑻𝑬𝑹 – 𝑷𝑨𝑹𝑻 𝑻𝑾𝑶 . more starters taken from ridiculous texts my muses have sent on wire / discord . adjust pronouns as necessary !

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] okay well . . . . . . you're stinky .

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] i always at LEAST hit the pen before story time

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] what the fuck is the bourgeoise are we a part of it 😭

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] just looked at a pic i took of u where ur shirtless and almost passed out so there's that

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] U PUT THE BALL ON A TEE AND I WASN'T SUPPOSED TO SWING

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] if i was a frog and you were a frog and we were sitting under a toadstool together but we had to hop through the rain would you use a little leaf as an umbrella and hold it up so i don't get wet 🥺

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] what if we kissed inside a life size replica of the ancient greek torture device the brazen bull

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] listen to some music performed by the world's smallest violin 💀

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] i don't remember signing up for domestic prohibition

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] you ordered a mariachi band right i can send them in ??

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] did that thing traumatize u so bad u swore to hate geese forever

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] if i'm good at one thing it's being a fuckin simp we KNOW this

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] that and smoking . i'm real good at smoking .

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] i used to save LIVES man

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] sounds like dick splinters to me

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] me when i'm an anarchist tree and the lorax is in front of me

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] is that racist ? is french a race ?

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] WHY IS EVERYONE SO SURPRISED

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] you would make a good lawyer one day [ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] you wouldn't win anything [ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] but you've got the spirit

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] yeah , he's been smiling like an idiot about it all day

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] ur dad's a hater

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] can we still eat lunch meats

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] i don't know , what the hell is listeria ? is that like wisteria ?

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] yes , dickhole , i got that

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] if anything you're like an EXTRA nepo baby

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] a little frenchman named pierre gives you weed ????

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] for some people life is a movie [ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] for you it's a cartoon

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] I WAS KIDDING . IT WAS A SILLY HA HA .

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] you wanna get me started on how hot your dad is go right ahead

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] baby boy every detail you share will be matched and exceeded with a mental image of your parents you never wanted to see

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] i'm FUCKING OLDER THAN YOU OH MY GOD

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] you guys look like actual children right now you realize that right

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] i should probably be a better influence but like fuck yeah 😭😭

[stardustprompts]

the empire of gold   (  the daevabad trilogy book 3 ) part 1  -   s. a. chakraborty change tenses/pronouns as needed !!  some lines have been edited for clarity / length / ease of roleplaying     tw ; death , war , violence

‘please tell me I’m seeing things. please tell me this isn’t what it looks like.’

‘you don’t get to die. understand? I didn’t save your life a dozen times so you could leave me here.’

‘I suppose war is often more violent than expected.’

‘I had the impression that you and normal did not quite fit.’

‘why do something that would make sense?’

‘it wasn’t you. I didn’t trust anyone. I was afraid to.’

‘it always felt like I was one mistake away from losing everything.’

‘you don’t always have to do everything on your own.’

‘if you rule by violence, you should expect to be removed by violence.’

‘if you could do it all over again, would you not have done anything to save her?’

‘when you left I thought it might’ve been because you hated me.’

‘I don’t blame you for anything that happened that night. and I could never hate you.’

‘I could never hate you. not in a thousand years.’

‘I actually thought you’d be happier if I stayed gone.’

‘you shouldn’t have to keep saving me like this.’

‘I thought I made very clear to you I never intended to let you out of my debt.’

‘I don’t think I can do this.’

‘I’ve always liked choosing my own path.’

‘I’ve got a lot of experience finding slivers of light to cherish when life gets more miserable than usual.’

‘every time I think there’s no lower our world can sink, we all plunge deeper.’

‘don’t. don’t do that. there’s no way (name) blamed you, and he wouldn’t want you killing yourself thinking that.’

‘you are not the only one who’s seen your world broken. nor the only one who grieves for their dead.’

‘you are impossible, do you know that?’

‘I could kill you. it would be nothing.’

‘you are brave, you are strong, and you will survive this day, I swear.’

‘I love you. I always will.’

‘I’m tired of resting. and of having nightmares as well.’

‘it’s been easier to keep busy. if I’m doing things it keeps my mind from everything else, though that’s probably a cowardly thing to admit.’

‘not wanting to be destroyed by despair doesn’t make you a coward, (name). it makes you a survivor.’

‘you chose a very inconvenient time to develop a conscience.’

‘you’ve changed for the better, whether or not you want to admit it.’

‘I don’t know what you’re running from. I don’t know what you’re planning next. but you could have a life here. a good one.’

‘you could have a life here. a good one.’

‘we can’t stay here. we can’t—- I’m sorry I wish we could.’

‘you know it. I know it. it’s only a matter of time.’

‘we will never be safe here and neither will anyone around us.’

‘I don’t want to be safe. not if my people aren’t.’

‘I am nothing like him. I would take a blade to my throat before I’d do the things he’s done.’

‘you and I, we tried, okay? we tried more than most.’

‘(place) is a death trap. it corrupts and ruins everyone who tries to fix it. and we could be free of it. both of us.’

‘I’m going to say something no one has a right to tell you, but it needs to be said and there’s no one else.’

‘we have a duty to go back, no matter the consequences.’

‘you and I don’t get to look away from that, no matter how tempting.’

‘forget it. I’m not going to waste my breath trying to save you from yourself again.’

‘you want to go die out there? fine. but you’ll be doing it alone.’

‘we need to be careful. no reckless plans of self-sacrifice and spouting off things that will get us killed.’

‘thank you. I don’t think I could get through all this without you.’

‘I just don’t understand why you had to be so mean.’

‘this is going to end with us in prison, isn’t it?’

‘not everything has to be a transaction, (name).’

‘your expression is not bolstering my confidence.’

‘you’ve really got to find a way not to look like a startled pigeon every time you lie.’

‘people are often afraid of what they don’t understand.’

‘there is honor in being a weapon.’

‘I envy you sometimes. I wish I had your faith in people’s goodness.’

‘who are you to decide who is a monster?’

‘I used to believe it all. I had too.’

‘because it had to be true. If the ___ were people, innocent mothers and fathers and children, and I did to them the things I did … then I am damned. I am a monster.’

‘I worshipped them, I trusted them, and they lied.’

‘what is any of this supposed to mean if it makes room for such an atrocity.’

‘my best and mind are telling me that I followed the wrong people.’

‘what do I do with that kind of burden?’

‘you are the bravest man I know, and you run.’

‘sit with this burden. you may find doing so is easier than holding it over your head and waiting for it to crush you.’

‘you have been blessed; you have been granted the power, the privilege, the time to fix things.’

‘i’m so tired. everything I build gets broken.’

‘it’s all for nothing. nothing’

‘it’s not for nothing. we can still put things right.’

‘don’t look at me like that. I don’t need your pity. I don’t need anything.’

‘there’s no one else here, my friend. you don’t need to keep up this front.’

‘I thought you were dead. I thought I was dead. I thought I’d failed everyone, and I couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t even fight back.’

‘you’re a good friend. probably the best one I’ve ever had. but if you tell anyone I cried, I’ll kill you.’

‘have you an actual plan or just wild fantasies that will end with our deaths?’

‘why do you look like you’re considering something very reckless?’

‘if i have found a glimmer of pleasure in all this, it is the assurance that you will destroy yourselves just as spectacularly.’

‘it is those we are closest to who have an opportunity to observe our weaknesses best.’

‘maybe they were afraid. maybe they were right to be.’

‘I wish you had told me. there weren’t supposed to be any more secrets between us.’

‘I feel like we just fell into a trap.’

‘I thought— I thought maybe there was a chance.’

'sometimes it’s wisest to let people show you who they are.’

‘you did not survive in (place) by sticking your head in the sand.’

‘I have never— for even a moment— forgotten how people view me.’

‘I left my home and a peaceful life to come here in the hopes of fixing things.’

‘I won’t be threatened.’ 

‘in my experience, parents are capable of doing a great deal of hurt to their children.’

[taggedmemes]

SENTENCE MEME BALDUR'S GATE 3 / PART FIVE

we won't survive this if we don't stand together.

it is through conflict that we strengthen our bonds.

the next resolution may not end in her favor.

it's a question that burns in my belly day and night.

have you been looking at my differently?

i was too hasty to judge you.

i thought you witless, gutless, and unimpressively bland.

i thought you cruel, stubborn, and judgmental.

you have stoked fires i didn't know i possessed.

you've gained my respect.

you know how to set my heart racing.

we'll kiss and make up in our own time.

someone prodding at a newly opened wound doesn't help matters.

admirable conviction.

how can you go through all this trouble and not understand why?

secrecy is ingrained in me.

i like night orchids and can't swim.

i can't remember much of myself.

i hope that's the end of this silly quarrel.

killing's never my first choice, but they were too dangerous to leave alive.

i've come to sate you, and be sated.

time for pleasure has passed.

there's something i want to talk to you about, something important.

i owe you my life.

i may not have survived that night without you.

i'm trying to say that you've earned my trust in a way very few ever have.

i'm not usually one to elaborate if i can avoid it.

most fear the dark, because in darkness they see their fears reflected.

in darkness we do not hide, we act.

you pray with such conviction.

the presence of your goddess must fill your whole being.

perhaps we need not speak farewells.

i never pictured myself as a hero.

never thought i'd be the one they toast for saving so many lives.

i hate it, this is awful.

i would've liked more for my trouble than a pat on the head and vinegar for wine.

all i want is a little fun.

it's not you, it's me. i have standards.

you have no idea how good it feels to see these people smiling.

don't waste a night like this talking to me.

i thought you might care to have a drink with me.

i rarely imbibe, the stuff goes right to my head.

before you know it, i'd be breaking into song or declaring love to the first person i laid eyes on.

you strike me as extremely resourceful.

there are many grateful people here who want to spend time with you.

i must not keep you all to myself, as enjoyable as that may be.

this might be the wine talking, but i'm feeling inspired.

look at them all, guzzling poison l ike we've the right to be happy.

i need to dance.. nope, i need to lie down.

the others will kill me if i keep you all to myself.

spontaneous thank-yous make me suspicious.

this is a night for celebration, not suspicion.

amid all this merriment, i wasn't sure we'd have a chance to speak this evening.

were our bond a little stronger, i might even have shared a moment of magic with you.

our fledgling acquaintanceship has not yet taken flight.

such intimacy will have to wait.

they could not match your nerve today.

it was enough to drive me to madness.

i won't be nursing their pounding heads and sicks stomachs in the morning.

everyone seems to be in high spirits.

you know who i never thought i'd find myself caring for.

i think you'll find i've been showing ample concern for myself since the moment we met.

share a bottle with me?

i'll find you after everyone's turned in for the night.

i think a toast is in order. any suggestions?

sounds like you just need a little more liquid inspiration.

you're beautiful.

i know [i'm beautiful], but you're sweet to notice.

i'll trust your judgement.

i do not truly care if you approve.

that night meant a lot to me.

i'm not sure what kind of sourtship we'll be afforded, given all that we're facing.

if you want to see where this goes, i do as well.

we share something special.

my people are nothing if not resourceful.

thought i'd shaken you for good.

that'll teach me to underestimate you.

she's trying to trick us, don't believe her lies.

when i saw an opportunity to get away, i took it.

you're asking me to trust a devil.

i don't want this to end badly for either of us.

you know monsters, right? better than anyone?

thought i was going to have to take your head.

there have been enough threats today.

how would you feel about helping me kill some evil bastards?

turns out i've got a knack for killing demons.

she looks like she could throw me over her shoulders and carry me to safety.

i'd hug you if it wouldn't scorch your skin off.

she's got the brawn of a warrior and the wiles of a survivor.

she speaks her mind, plainly and fully.

in other circumstances, i would have done the same.

best to not dwell on nights past.

you've been naughty.

you know what happens when you're naughty.

aren't you a luscious thing.

if i had a warm heart, i'm sure it would be skipping.

i've taken more pleasant shits than you.

that's no kind of talk for a lady.

you better not lay a damned finger on [name].

a promise broken, a price paid.

been a long time since someone stuck their neck out for me like that.

he's a good man, maybe the best of us.

the sex gets better the more experience you have with someone.