#more of a fuck ton amount of writers block

[gushingveins]

how do you deal with people being stupid OTHER than putting them in a trap or some shit .

“ Fuck, I don’t know. ”

He shrugged.

“ If you’re referring to someone being genuinely stupid, I usually just berate them ‘till they get whatever point i’m trying to make through their thick skulls. With assholes like Adam or Strahm, I argue with them. It doesn’t matter if I’m wrong. They give up eventually. ”

[kissingrhi]

the kim x reader headcanon post has my life in shambles. oh my fucking GOD. i love her so much, thank you for writing that, the well is so dry for kimreader stuff <3 <3 <3 i appreciate it more than you know. i know you seem busy with rqs (i loved the latest batch of them so much as well!!!) but could i put in one for a praise kink oriented kim x reader? reader could be her new paralegal or something, she makes you really, really flustered with all sorts of what you think are friendly, innocuous comments until she makes a bold move (and you end up fucking in her office after hours, i'm thinking like S&C era?) thank you so much again, i love all of your posts!

detailed requesters, you have my heart and soul. lovely people get me out of writers block mwah!! haven't written for bcs in a while, but this is waking my brain up! i love kimberly wexler.

cw — reader has female anatomy, some gendered-terms used (good girl mainly), many mentions of reader masturbation, so much sexual tension it is sickening, employee/employer relations, kim seems mean at the beginning but she folds, thigh riding, light dom/sub dynamics, oral sex/fingering (kim goes down on reader), tons of dirty talk, hint of overstimulation, PRAISE KINK

"hey, hey." you were snapped out of your trance. "you there?"

you noticed your shaking leg, instantly stopping and sitting right up. "yeah, yeah." you were extremely unconvincing, catching the slight eyebrow raise kim sent you. "i just had a rough night." her eyebrows rose more. "i was up late. with a- project. haha!" your tone was unconvincing, but she didn't push. you were obviously lying.

god, this was awkward.

nonetheless, she sent you a glimmering smile, her beautiful blue eyes softening. "that's okay." her voice echoed throughout her office. how she managed to sound gentle in such an empty, void space was beyond you.

you noticed a stack of papers in front of you that weren't there before. "well, these are some new forms i need put on file for mesa verde. can you have them in by tomorrow?" she asked, firmly now, switching right back into her professional tone. you took a deep, harsh breath in at the sheer amount of paperwork. she chuckled, "i know you're new and this is a lot to take in, so if you would rather me take on some that's perfectly fine. this-" she motioned to the papers " -is a lot to get used to."

"no, that's alright. i've got it." you grinned, almost giddy to take on the job. the apples of your cheeks crinkled under your eyes, a genuine smile being returned to the one she threw earlier. you noticed a twinkle in her eye, but you were sure you were imagining things. that's what you get for not getting enough sleep.

"good." was all she said, her heel now clicking over and over again on the floor. "how about brunch tomorrow?" she asked, a look on her face you couldn't quite figure out.

"sure." you replied, grabbing the papers and your bag. you started to make your way out, but not before adding a, "goodnight, kim." quickly you caught yourself, turning around, face slowly heating up. "wait- i can call you kim, right? am i being unprofessional?"

she cracked a downturned smile at that one, holding back a laugh. "no, no. you're not being unprofessional. yes, you can call me kim." her smiled remained even when she said, "we don't want any weird power dynamics." she tilted her head at you, pursing her lips before beginning to put on her jacket.

"right- okay." you smiled again. "goodnight. see you tomorrow."

"okay, brunch." was all she returned with, yet somehow it wasn't uncomfortable at all.

the next morning, you woke up extra early. jumping in the shower at a fresh 5'o clock, you made sure to look your most presentable for kim. you didn't want to fumble your new job as a paralegal on the first day. you even started to work on the forms a little bit, ignoring the grueling headache that was beginning to form from not being able to drink coffee first thing in the morning, since you'd boldly decided to wait until brunch.

when you finally arrived at said brunch, almost all of the stack was gone. maybe you got a little carried away trying to impress your new boss, but when has being a people pleaser ever done you wrong?

you were fidgeting with your watch when kim walked in, grinning at you as she sat down in front of you. "so, paperwork? i know you're loving it." her voice was still a little groggy from just waking up, and you'd be lying if you said it didn't make you feel a certain way. her makeup and hair were a little unkempt, but she seemed more relaxed than the day prior.

"oh, just having the time of my life." you returned her energy, resulting in snickers from the both of you. "actually, i just-" you pulled out the last few papers. "i need to finish these few and i'll be done."

kim was impressed. not that you could tell. "that's-" she coughed, getting herself more comfortable in her seat before crossing her hands over the edge of the table. "that's really good. good work. good job."

"thank you." you cautiously replied, unsure of why she was repeating the word 'good' so goddamn much. it was kind of making you sweat. "can we get some coffee?" you cut the silence.

"of course."

brunch went well, the two of you actually hit it off extremely well. you found out that you have a lot of the same interests, tastes in art and music, and the same favorite breakfast food. french toast, obviously. you found that working and communicating with her was a lot easier than employers you'd previously dealt with. you also found that kim was incredibly hard to read, as she loved saying off-putting things that made you unsure if you were doing something incredibly wrong or incredibly right. like when you two were discussing your work ethic, you shamelessly spouted that you're willing to do more than what's asked if you, even if there's no reward. to which she replied, "that's very satisfactory. i'll definitely keep that in mind." you tried to ignore the sudden feverish feeling that swept over your body at her prideful tone. she was just being polite, being your employer.

the next few days seemed to fly by, and you noticed it was the first occurrences of you ever being genuinely excited to come into work. you woke up earlier, paid more attention to your attire, did things for extra credit, and most of all: built a relationship with kim. this relationship was interesting: you weren't quite sure what to call it.

you weren't sure if she knew just the affect she had on you, if she knew you had an affinity for praise, so much of an affinity, however: that it made you feel weak and fuzzy inside, made you feel like you were going to spontaneously combust and melt into the ground with every lasting touch she made to your shoulder or each time she complimented you on how "talented of an employee you were." it made your blood run hot every single time, feeling waves of bashfulness run throughout your entire body, especially your suddenly twisting stomach. any sort of compliment turned you into a blubbering, sweaty mess and you absolutely hated it. you were trying to prove yourself to be a professional after all. for your employer.

you brushed it off, though, knowing that she was the most experienced lawyer you'd ever met, and not a meek employee whose knees buckle at the mere mention of how good of a job they're doing. definitely not someone who fantasized about their boss late at night.

you swallowed the lump that was suddenly building in your throat as you stepped into her office to give her some notes from interested corporations in a new pursuit, which she hadn't even asked for. you set them down gently, since she was intently typing on her computer. as you got up to leave, you were held back by a simple, "what's this?" her tone was indecipherable. as you turned, you saw her quickly finding and staring directly into your eyes.

"i- i knew you wanted to add more clients besides mesa verde, so i gathered a few." you felt like a pushover all of a sudden, humiliation starting to run deep in your veins. you stared down at your feet. "is that okay?" you internally cringed at how docile your voice sounded. you looked up to find her amused, looking at you like she knew something you didn't. it made you shudder.

"of course it's okay, thank you. just don't take on too much, okay?" she answered, looking at you sternly like her statement wasn't up for debate. "i want you to have time for yourself." she added, lips quirking slightly. you couldn't tell if she was genuine, slightly making fun of you, or both. maybe she was endeared. you didn't want to think too hard about it.

"okay." was all you answered. your mouth felt dry, and you were mindlessly fidgeting with the hem of your shirt. she noticed your coyness, adding insult to injury: "that's a pretty color on you." you paused your fidgeting, looking up at her. "i'll see you tomorrow. get some good sleep in." her timbre was assertive. without saying a word, you quietly left her office, instantly releasing a breath you didn't even know you were holding. you had to zip to a bathroom, patting your face with cold water and cursing yourself for the sinful thoughts slowly approaching your mind.

you finally arrived home that night, slinging yourself onto your bed with a frustrated sigh. you felt petulance at yourself for feeling so lustfully towards your boss, who was merely doing her job. you felt stupid. you felt like a whore.

'maybe that's what she'd call you if she knew.'

that thought instantly led to many others, and you found your body moving before your brain could stop it. when you got yourself off that night, desperately riding your fingers to gain some sort of release from the intense thoughts filling your head, you never took off the shirt that she told you you looked pretty in.

you felt insanely ashamed the next morning, waking up in the same clothes from previously, feeling mortified when you looked at your clock. you were late. you scrambled to get up, not even bothering to shower. you threw on random clothes, trying to ignore how flustered you felt. you masturbated thinking about your boss. if you could disappear, you would totally take that opportunity.

you didn't even bother checking the speed limit as you rushed to get to the office, touching yourself up in your rearview mirror before haphazardly pulling into your parking space, almost running inside the building. you mentally prepared yourself for having to deal with what you'd done the night before and with what kim had to say about your late arrival.

you twisted the doorknob as slowly as you possibly could, almost tripping over your feet as you were caught with her disappointed stare.

"you're late." she said, matter-of-factly, standing up. she was glaring so hard you thought she could see right through into the wall behind you. you knew you were fucked. you'd only been working for her for a couple weeks, and you'd already screwed up. you swore you were tearing up, just from the sheer embarrassment. "we'll talk after 5." she curtly stated, pointing to you and then your desk.

5 had never come slower. you didn't move from your desk the entire day, except to pee one time. when you did, you felt her eyes boring into your back. the silence was deafening, and the anticipation had you tingling the entire workday. when the forbidden hour finally arrived, you shakily grabbed your stuff, wobbling towards her desk, avoiding looking into her eyes.

"look at me." of course, you instantly did, your eyes wide with hesitation. "i'll let you being late slide for today. don't let it happen again." you felt like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders. "there's actually something else i wanted to talk to you about." once again, you couldn't decode what she was trying to say from her tone alone. timidly, you took a seat on the chair in front of her desk, leaning your back against it in a lame attempt at looking unbothered. anyone could tell you were a wreck. she took the opportunity to walk around the vicinity of the front end of her desk, leaning against the front, so that she was situated just in front of you.

"what'd you do when you got home last night? since you know, it was obviously a lot." she asked, a smirk plastered on her face.

you furrowed your eyebrows. you had no idea where this was going. you really hoped you were a good liar. "i, uh- i did what people normally do, you know- ate dinner, showered, got some work done, slept." she let your words seep into the tension-filled air of the room, your lies settling in the quaint atmosphere. she looked at you through her eyebrows. "no i mean, really. what did you do?" you could tell she didn't believe you. you still played dumb.

"i don't really know what else to add. i watched a movie." you were lying straight through your teeth, and it was insanely obvious. you couldn't even look her directly in the eyes. you were staring at her nose, barely blinking. barely breathing at that point. she reached forward to place your chin between her pointer finger and her thumb, lifting your head up to an embarrassingly high position, just to see if you'd swat her away or go pliant. "oh, come on, tell me more." she was being condescending, her heeled foot going to separate the two feet you had crossed on the floor.

your breath hitched, and your brain started to short circuit. you couldn't tell if this was really happening. "be good and tell me." oh, if that didn't make you feel intoxicated with her presence. the words made you tremble, a speedy pulse being shot throughout many areas of your body. you couldn't look away even if you wanted to. it was like every aspect of her being was itching for you to respond.

your voice broke when you barely whispered, "i touched myself." she saccharinely grinned, going back to sit in her chair, leaving you speechless and extremely embarrassed. you were definitely getting fired. she glanced at you, intently staring like she was debating on what to say. "you know- when i say you're one of, if not, the best employees i've had, i truly mean that." she seemed indifferent. "you're just so-" she paused again, still not breaking eye contact. "well-behaved." you felt dazed. "thanks." she laughed, a real laugh this time. "see, you're proving my point! come sit." she patted her leg, watching you connect the dots and shakily walk over.

"now i want you to be a doll for me, and tell me what you thought about." she rasped, gently grabbing your hips to straddle her clothed thigh. "should we be doing-" she shushed you instantly. you squeezed your eyes shut, hips ghosting against the firm muscle. you started talking first. "i thought about-" she pushed your body down, guiding you. a tiny gasp escaped your mouth and you wanted to bury your head in her neck. "keep going for me." your hips stuttered at her low, barely audible voice, as you began to squirm. you found your rhythm, barely panting, trying to keep your composure as you explained yourself. "i thought about you- telling me what to do." you sighed after the admittance, needily grinding your body down more, reveling in her pleased chuckle. she added on, her hands finding a spot on your ass, barely touching you. "i was telling you how good you are?" she teased, mocking the high-pitched 'uh-huh' you released right after.

she stopped you before you could do too much. "can you take your pants off for me?" she asked, but it was more of a demand than anything else. you've never moved more quickly in your life, instantly shedding your trousers, not even feeling exposed in front of the domineering woman. "there you go." she purred, lightly pushing you to sit on her desk. she took in your state, totally opposite to the professional, eager employee she knew you to be. you looked lust-struck, like you were stuck in a haze you couldn't shake. "look at you, obeying me. you have no idea how crazy you make me feel." she sunk down in front of where you were sitting, just behind her name plate. her veiny, nimble hands found their way to your supple thighs, easing them apart. you instinctually whined, feeling exposed. she groaned, hands gripping your skin.

"it's just so cute how much you're willing to do for me. you're such a good girl, hm?" her eyes glimmered, smiling at your nod and sexually frustrated stare. she wanted to reward you for your good behavior. she started to press open mouthed kisses along your thighs, still staring up at you. her eyes glistened in the low sunlight that slipped through her blinds. "can i finger you?" she was concise, giggling again at your shyness. "yeah."

"need to reward you," she mumbled against the top of your underwear band, before reaching to pull them off, but not before neatly setting them beside your trousers, which made you laugh. "what? i like it neat, ok?" she had you so smitten you just beamed at her, not even questioning that she just cleanly folded your (very wet) panties. she ran her pedicured nails just over the outside of your pussy, listening for the hushed, obedient "kim" she desperately craved to hear. she kindly placed her mouth to your clit, feeling herself grow more and more aroused at how your whining turned into pleading for her to continue. "god, you're so beautiful, you've got no idea." she sensually whispered against your tender flesh, her hands going to push your thighs closer to her face.

she licked a single stripe from your hole all the way up to your sensitive clit before sneakily sticking two fingers into your aching hole, she moaned lowly in unison with you when she did so. you bit your lip, head falling back on your shoulders as her fingers started to quicken their pace, her thumb going to rub broad circles into your clit. you cried out at the sudden pleasure, "kim- oh my- shit!" she sped up her pace, practically urging for you to shove your cunt closer to her face. "that's it, doing so good for me. sweet girl." the vibrations of her voice didn't help the coiling heat threatening to snap from inside of you.

she didn't stop speeding up until you were rutting your hips against her face like a bitch in heat. her fingers were ruthless against your desperate figure, spreading your hole apart and pushing as far as they could to make you feel stuffed. to make you go stupid. she was stretching you open, and the pressure was almost too much. "my god- kim-" you stammered, your moans escaping your mouth like a mantra. you weren't even thinking at that point, all you knew was kim and her talented fingers.

you were quaking, your submissive moans echoing throughout her empty office space, not even feeling shame anymore. all you could focus on were her fingers, how deeply she knew to reach you. your muscles were tightening when her tongue slipped in alongside her fingers, which were now toying with your g-spot. "kim, please- please let me cum." to which she replied, "only because you asked so nicely." the way that you naturally pleaded made her throb, speeding up her pace even more to push you further than you'd known before.

instantly, you came against her face, trembling with aftershocks. she pulled away from in between your legs, only to say, "you'll be good and take what all i give you, right?" before diving right back in.

[somuchcoffeeandwine]

All right, fellow MCU fans

So, after seeing the Marvels today, it got me thinking. Now, you probably don't know who I am. But I do happen to be a writer. Not a very good one mind you (several people would say otherwise, but shush, give me my self-loathing) Phase 4 (and the current parts of 5) is not that great. So I want to rewrite the Multiverse Saga. Yes. The entire thing. Even though it's not finished.

Very long blocks of text below. It's really the only thing that keeps me organized. Please read it though if you are interested. It'll be split up into sections, for somewhat easy perusal.

Now, I know this is an ambitious project, and one not done. I am no stranger to things like this, see my own game/show I'm making. (This is the only time I'm going to mention it. But I am pretty proud of it) So, for my very small amount of sanity, I'm stopping it at The Marvels, and Loki season 2 (Oops, still not finished with it yet). And I wanted to ask people what they thought was lackluster, or mediocre. Not the Marvel I and many other people grew up on. I do understand that it was flawed before, but when I recently rewatched most of them, I found that my childhood love for them had blossomed into something new. I was 6 when the first Avengers came out. I learned how to shoot a bow because of Hawkeye in that movie. And I think it deserves better, especially after watching the Marvels.

Now, this means everything after Endgame. So from Black Widow to The Marvels in terms of the movies, and the Disney+ series from Wandavision to Loki Season 2. I have a feeling it's going to take me a second to get through the remaining 5 episodes of Loki S2. My family wants to watch it with me, and they're all decently busy... Anyways, that's 10 movies, and 9 series. Although I don't accept Secret Invasion. Like at all. Anyways.

I have yet to decide what I'm going to publish this on. Probably A03, just because that's easiest for me. And I can organize much easier. Do let me know what you think.

So, before I get into the problems I've identified, feel free to stop here, and reblog or ask me your problems with the aforementioned shows and movies. I'm talking writing or character problems, as we've seen in the series. I am a fan of the comics, but you can divert from that, or stick to them.

Oh, and if you say something like "Make it more queer", I am a raging bisexual enby. I will already be making it queer as fuck, and can be convinced to ship pretty much anyone, if I can get a good reasoning behind it. Minors should be shipped with only minors. That's one of my few rules, if you send anything to me. So yeah, I'm doing genderfluid Loki.

Thoughts on everything:

This is just here so that I don't get a ton of repeats. I'll go movies first, then the TV shows.

Black Widow (2021) - Honestly, this is too late of a movie. Natasha deserved this before Endgame or Infinity War came out. But release dates aside, Taskmaster needs more screentime, and a chance to show how menacing they are. Natasha also needs more time with her family, and the parents need to be fleshed out a bit more. Belova is far too smart to be tricked by the lady in the post-credit scene.

Shang-Chi And The Legend Of The Ten Rings (2021) - I don't have any major problems with this movie. The Great Protector, or the dragon, and the supernatural creature, I think he's called Dweller In Darkness, kinda felt a little blank, and the Dweller shouldn't have died, only been pushed back. And I don't like Katy that much. Trevor is much better comedic relief in my opinion.

Eternals (2021) - Oh boy, where do we start with this one? You know it's bad if I can't remember any of the main characters names besides Ikarus. And that's because I was laughing my ass off at him throwing himself into the sun. There was also the Celestial I think it was? Anyways that thing broke islands up, and then just became a massive statue, and like no one mentions it? I don't remember much else about this movie, even after having watched it like 3 times. Oh, and the Ebony Blade was shown off. I like that if they can do something fun with that.

Spider-Man: No Way Home (2021) - Dr. Strange feels a little shoe-horned in. The whole sanctum being overtaken by snow was pretty clever, but Strange being a father figure to Peter is not super well established. Could be fixed with a couple of rewrites. Or Strange and Stark being together. Peter is a dumbass, and the reason for him starting the whole plot... is so dumb. I understand, teenagers can be stupid, hell, I go to public high school, but Peter's shown he's a lot smarter than this. But I do like the crossover (Dafoe as Green Goblin my beloved) and the fact that the other Spidermen get to say goodbye in one last movie. Anyways, Ned's wizard connections need to be elaborated on as well.

Doctor Strange: Multiverse Of Madness (2022) - Alright, getting my biggest problem out of the way first. Wanda's corruption arc should have been shown. It should have been developed through the movie, and Wanda should have been with Strange and America. She can still be evil, and die after she realizes her actions, but this basically destroys the point of Wandavision. She was willing to say goodbye. Wanda has been a favorite of mine for years, and I read her comics religiously as a child. We need to see the power of the Scarlet Witch. What it did without Wanda. Her "No More Mutants" line sent chills down my spine the first time I read it. Sam Raimi directed this movie. Strange and Wanda should have had more horrific shit. And that one Strange with 3 eyes should have been the one from What If. We need horror in this. America also needs to be more fleshed out. I do love her, but we get like one scene of her being traumatized of basically growing up nowhere. Her moms get to stay though. I'm just going to ignore the last post-credit scene, because... that's setting something up I'm not sure of.

Thor: Love & Thunder (2022) - First up, Gorr has a great setup. He needed more screentime though. We need to see more of his god killing. They should rightfully be shitting their pants over this man. Thor leaving to save Sif was a good move, but that joke ruined the tension. She should have died there, proof of the god killer. Jane Foster is perfectly fine, and her arc is a lovely send-off. I would have loved some more stuff about the kids, especially Heimdall's. I don't even remember his name. He should have been shown doing something in Jane's return to Asgard, something that showed off his parentage. The meeting of the gods is a great scene, but there should have been people who spoke up, and then promptly getting thrown out, or even getting killed. Even more of a reason for Thor and crew to convince him. I think everything else is pretty good. Also Valkyrie is perfect in this movie. Bi queen. And her Loki knives are lovely.

Black Panther: Wakanda Forever (2022) - I actually think this one just needs a couple of little tweaks. I understand why they couldn't have T'Challa show up in the spirit world, and Killmonger was great, but I still think something between the siblings would be good. Fuck, I love the funeral scene. It was a lovely sendoff to both T'Challa, and Chadwick. Namor seems a little rash though. Might just be the comics leaking through on that matter but I do like the Mayan inspirations in the movie!

Antman: Quantumania (2023) - I'm not really sure on this movie. I don't like Janet in this movie. She feels too secretive. She could have told them plenty, even lied that Kang had gone home. He'd gotten out somehow. Kang didn't seem scared enough of the others, but that might just be me thinking of that. Oh, and MODOK sucked. He shouldn't be a joke. But Darren could have done something else, because he is in there.

Guardians of The Galaxy V.3 (2023) - Perfection in every way. I'm not changing anything unless it involves getting everything I'm incorporating in. And the Christmas Special is also great.

The Marvels (2023) - Spoilers! Kamala needed more screentime, she just generally felt disconnected from the plot besides her bangle. And I also wanted a more menacing villain. That's been the problem with them recently. They don't make me think that they could actually beat them. I like everything else though. Flerkins were great as usual. I love these stupid creatures so much. That one scene was beautiful.

Now to the shows! These are going to be so much shorter.

Wandavision (2021) - I think this is good. No notes.

Loki S1 (2021) - Good, besides the Sylvie/Loki romance. They are siblings. I'm not sure if there's anything else that I really had a problem with. It's been a moment. Which is a shame. I love Loki (Also bi confirmation! I love it!)

The Falcon & Winter Soldier (2021) - I also think this is good, besides maybe having some problems with the villain. Bromance all the way.

What If...? (2021) - Also pretty good. Little self-contained story. I like the zombies.

Hawkeye (2021) - I also think this one's pretty well written. Macaroni is constantly referenced in my house. Lucky is also a pretty boy.

Moonknight (2022) - Honestly, god tier. Anyways, no one mentioned the stars literally turning in Egypt. But maybe it was just the people thinking that they were drunk as shit and seeing something.

Ms. Marvel (2022) - Second favorite being Moonknight. I also don't remember anything glaringly wrong.

She-Hulk: Attorney At Law (2022) - Besides the tone of the show being inconsistent as shit, I think this show should have dove into some of the topics it brought up more. It just seemed a little surface level. Maybe a WWDITS style mockumentary would work better.

Secret Invasion (2023) - THIS ENTIRE SHOW SUCKS ASS. THIS WHOLE THING WAS DONE SO BADLY. I am not taking anything from this show

Loki S2 (2023) - Too distracted by another season 2 coming out, so I have yet to finish. I have heard it's good though. I've seen the first episode, and it's going pretty good so far.

Well, you made it to the bottom! Yay!

...This took me an hour to write. I did get the doc set up. And got a bit of an outline set up.

[not-poignant]

I remember reading some asks that when you were in Guardians fandom, people were always correcting some stuff too, that they though is wrong or smth. And I feel like especially after so long writing your own universes, those very "smart" anons are really annoying. I just hope that they won't suck any wind from benith your wings and you don't spend much energy on answers to their asks and that you know always know - your writing is your own and we are fucking blessed for reading it <3

Maybe I just have forgotten so that I can mostly remember the good things (haha) but aside from people always having a bone to pick with me calling Pitch's daughter Seraphina, Rise of the Guardians was generally pretty chill!

I think back then there were a lot more 'why are you depicting Bunnymund this way?' or 'Why are you making this choice?' which as open-ended questions I really don't mind answering!! Even when it's obvious that the person who's asking the question doesn't agree with my depiction, then I can explain myself, vs. someone just anonymously coming in to go 'hi you are wrong' when... I'm not O.o

Different fandoms have different feels to them, kind of like visiting different countries! DnD / FR as a fandom seems to have a pocket of vocal people who want to prove they know more than me about DnD / FR to which I'll just say - you all know more than me, you win, here's your trophy, now let me write my fic the way I want thanks and learn how to read tags/author's notes :D That being said, the folks who don't care about that shit and just want to enjoy Astarion being railed / living his best-worst life have been the BEST and I really enjoy how thoughtful they are and how cool their comments are. There's some super engaged folks in this fandom who have really great takes on things, and I enjoy that side of it a lot.

Rise of the Guardians was incredibly creative. Like, to this day, I know one fanartist who went to work at Dreamworks, one who does official art for Hearthstone and works for Blizzard (her dream - and I still have her fanart of Gwyn in my house!), plenty more who went on to become professional artists, comic writers, writers, animators etc. I think the visual art and style of that show attracted so many people who love art, which was fun. We also had antis, but whatever, I feel like every fandom has those if you're active in the fandom.

Stardew Valley is mostly very mild, because it's intermittently very quiet and there's so many different pairings, and I've always written rarepairs. Generally people who enjoy that game are pretty low-key, and they're some of the nicest folks I've met in like anon asks and in comments! Love SDV peeps and it's been a pleasure to come back to the fandom.

Dragon Age: Inquisition was... lol. Lol. Well, look, I made some amazing friends through that fandom who I still know today. It attracted actually a surprising amount of older fandom folks who brought a lot of knowledge about how to write fic, so the fandom is drenched in really good fic, really good art. There was a ton of fucking drama, and some of the most acephobic rhetoric I've ever seen came out of this fandom, including asexual block-lists where people hunted each other down on Tumblr with things like 'have you blocked this person yet they're asexual' in anon. So like... DAI was a RIDE. The people I met in that fandom as friends I'll treasure. The actual fandom itself was a trash-fire depending on where you were. There were definitely a couple of BNFs in this fandom who made it their job to just hate other people, especially if they were ace and liked writing an ace Dorian Pavus. That was the first time I learned that blocking is good for the soul.

The Beast that Chose Its Own Bridle is a tiny fandom made of people who all love Felix and Mildmay very much :D

Detroit Become Human was a weird experience and it felt like a weird fandom. It was I think Korean or Japanese fanart that actually inspired Eversion, since that's where the first reverse!AU fanart (at least that I saw) began. But the comments could be weird, the anons were sometimes weird (not always, but sometimes! Especially in the beginning - and I just think first impressions really count lol), and I remember joining a Connor/Hank Discord where the most active folks were very quick to tell me how I should write my story, which was like - I like that they liked the story, but I've never had people try to show how much they like something by trying to change it into something they like more in quite that way before? I didn't really feel like staying in the fandom, tbh, it's extremely cliquey, especially all the folks that have like 400 names for the different versions of Connor, and it feels like it has a steep learning curve if you want to join the 'club.'

It was also the story where I had to do the most heavy lifting on BDSM education. Like, this fandom felt very BDSM naive *overall* - there's obviously exceptions, but I had to literally change how I was writing the story to explain more things than I normally would have done in a fic like that, because I was just getting so many 'why would Connor want to be humiliated during sex' anons and comments which was like okay, okay, let's actually do some 101 brochure stuff with this (the chapter where Connor calls Luuk and they talk about Connor liking being humiliated was not meant to be a whole chapter dslkfjas).

In fandoms like Thorki I could assume that the majority of readers would sort of get that even if it was a kink they didn't like - it was still just a kink that people can like and/or help others out with explanations. So it's possible D:BH skewed young and/or just not BDSM experienced! Which is fine! It's just I've noticed it here the most of all the fandoms I've been in. There were folks who knew kink really well who didn't need any explanations there at all, because I tend to over-explain a character's reasoning at the best of times, but yeah.

These are all like... deeply personal experiences influenced by the pairings I'm writing and how deeply I'm going into each fandom! I was tag-tracking in RotG / D:BH / DA:I, so I saw a lot more stuff, I think.

There's other fandoms I've been a part of but not really written for much or at all, like Thorki (love it there) and Sebaciel re: Black Butler (love it there too, but we lose a lot of writers because of antis), and also Murderbot (really weirdly cliquey in a 'oh... I see' kind of way, which might explain why a small pocket of people are writing most of the fics - because they're the only ones allowed in their Discord lol). Murderbot fandom is why I didn't end up writing Murderbot fanfiction sdalkfjdsa

Anyway, fandoms are weird, personal spaces that should be heavily curated! But I can't stop anons coming into my inbox with certain 'flavours' of question per fandom unless I turn off anon and honestly where would be the fun of that :D :D :D

[lipglossanon]

you totally don’t have to respond to this i know you don’t like posting about fandom discourse but i have a rant- a lot of “vanilla” or palatably kinky readers (kinks that don’t outwardly make someone who isn’t hardcore kinky uncomfortable) have the mindset of “i have an understanding of this character and want content that fits this idea of the character i have in my head and i can’t comprehend why people would characterize a fictional character in such a taboo/dark way or a way that’s outside of my realm of acceptable” so they complain in this echo chamber of people who validate what they’re feeling about not wanting dark content and everyone is entitled to an opinion but all it takes is one interaction to start a witch hunt for a specific creator and [un]intentionally create a ton of hate towards accounts and people who are just doing their thing in their corner of the internet and the “vanilla” or palatably kinky readers who choose to attack those creators of darker stuff get so up their own asses about these works getting traction and pushed when they’re the reason for all the engagement because algorithms do not differentiate positive or negative engagement that’s why blocking tags and blocking accounts and not engaging is recommended instead of hate anons and comments and mass reporting, not just that but the inconsideration of the people who don’t consume dark content who vent about it being out there and not putting warnings for the content they’re talking about or even posting screenshots with no warning is so disgusting, i’ve never read a darker work of anything and not been met with tags or warnings. for people to say this content is ooc, i can accept and have agreed with some posts about a characters backstory being ignored or changed to support dark content but it gets bad when people demonize others for taking a darker route with how they view a character because it’s usually this character who has a history of experiencing some type of abuse or some large trauma that took place at a point in their life which is why they chose to do what they do or it’s why they are the way they are but it’s rarely delved into how they coped or how they handled the situation leaving it up to consumers interpretation so it’s immersive for everyone and that’s where these issues arise in the blending of people in a fandom space when “vanilla” or palatably kinky people look at a character with a trauma and see people say they want that character to do something darker to them and it makes them uncomfortable because they can’t comprehend someone having that response to any trauma because they assume everyone responds the same way they do so they seek out emotional validation to feel seen for being made uncomfortable by something they interacted with instead of seeking to make themselves comfortable by blocking and ignoring these works, they seek out this validation even demonization of things outside of their realm of perception based off what they’ve experienced to make themselves feel like they’re right instead of aiming to make themselves comfortable and lastly, people saying dark content should move to ao3 solely is blatantly ignoring tumblr pre the adult content ban because most fic writers started on tumblr and got their following on tumblr and it’s the app/site that’s changed for the worse to appease this ultra purity culture sect of their site to get more ad revenue and its fucked the larger community of people who’ve been here since before the ban because we don’t really have the access to grow our platform or share our work anywhere else and still have the amount of community engagement we can get on tumblr which is why most authors share fics- to engage and be a part of a fandom for a thing they enjoy and in my opinion ao3 is very impersonal in the interactions you can have with people and i think that’s why some people want dark content creators in fandom spaces over there because they can feel distant from a creator on ao3 in a way they can’t on tumblr if that makes sense

- 💀

(i got got by the text allotment it was like 1k words lmao sorry for any typos <3)

💀 anon 😮 i am shook you got by the text allotment 🤭

But exactly; I was around tumblr pre purity clean out 🙄 but I left until 2013 and then left again til 2022. It’s a different world now. Same thing happened with livejournal back in the day too; which they never recovered and eventually fell to the wayside.

It’s really dumbfounding to me; I just don’t know why polite fandom culture has took a nosedive. If you don’t like, don’t interact.

It’s like they’re never interacted with a irl human being or been presented with working with a coworker who you might dislike every single thing about them but you can’t let that affect your job.

Idk at this point people are more online than ever before it’ll probably get worse before it gets better to the detriment of those with cognitive thinking skills.

[tenjikyu]

oh my god dude your last post is so fucking real

as a trans guy who often goes to fics for comfort, the amount of times i’ve trusted and gotten invested in a “gender neutral” fic, only to get smacked in the face with some shit like “princess”💀. it’s like a big ray gun of dysphoria shot at my chest.

i really wanna learn what most of these writers think gender neutral means exactly bc describing your reader with explicit/implicit feminine terms is not it.

it makes me think that the only ppl they expect to read fanfics is women or fem-leaning nbs. like come on there’s more types of people out there.

really just wish they could just mark it as fem reader so my filters can block it and i can keep scrolling

valid LOL

i’m can only imagine how much more it sucks being a trans dude and hearing that bs 😭😭

idk why some are just so against marketing it a f!reader. like, if that’s your go to then why not stuck with it? it’s not like lying abt the gender is gonna get you more attention it’s just gonna piss people off LOL and theres a fuck ton more women then men on this app so they aren’t short of any potential readers 🤷🏻

[ajgrey9647]

Man, are they alright? They look like they’re going through something. + Boom! Comics; Coinless Universe; Black Sentry Adam

Punishment Challenge

Shaking his dark head, the Black Sentry mumbled a soft curse, staring in disbelief at the slender nub of straw pinched between his thumb and forefinger. 

‘Of all the dumb misfortune, I go and draw the short stick…’

He didn’t know why he was surprised. Throwing it to the ground in uncharacteristic anger, Adam spun on his heel and, ignoring the razzing of the other Sentries, ducked out the door and into the cool night air. 

The soft crunch of gravel behind him caught his attention and he sighed wearily.

“I really don’t find it amusing.”

A steady hand clapped his shoulder in several firm pats. Adam tilted his head to gaze into Skull’s kindly, silver eyes. The Red Sentry chuckled gently.

“I don’t think anyone really does. They’re just glad it’s not them,” Eugene advised. “If it makes any difference, it honestly does not get any better with experience.”

The Black Sentry felt a nudge at his arm and, lowering his eyes, he realized the man was offering a pull from his beloved metal flask, a gift from someone he refused to name. Gratefully, Adam accepted the dank, acrid brew, the taste rather skunky and with a revolting aftertaste, but it steady one’s nerves.

“Thanks… I think,” he sputtered around the bitter burn to his tongue. 

Skull took his own long gulp and smacked his lips, eyes squeezed shut as he shuddered.

“Nasty shit, I agree. However, if I had to rank it in the grand scheme of things around this fucked up horror show of a Wonderland, I’ve sampled worse.”

Adam’s forehead scrunched and his lip curled in revulsion. 

“Don’t remind me. I keep telling myself it can’t possibly get any wilder or terrifying around here, but…” He trailed off, waving an arm weakly.

Slinging an arm around the small Sentry’s shoulders, Skull laughed. 

“You know, I’ve been here over ten years now and just when I think I’ve seen it all, twice most times, that crazy fuck pulls something even more messed up out of his ass. Like who the hell can possibly dream up all this twisted shit?” he snorted. “Then I remember… that fucking dick, that’s who!”

Shoulders slumping, Adam heaved another dramatic sigh. 

“Really, no one saw this coming? Before it was past too late? There’s no way there wasn’t a parade of red flags preceding this loon before he arrived in Angel Grove.”

“Ehhh,” Skull hummed, tipping his head back for another gulp. “You can thank our lovely mental health and juvenile system, the abusive, drunk Oliver clan, and whatever screwy genetics Drakkon’s got floating around in there. A shit ton of people failed and share the blame here.”

Tucking the flask back inside his jacket, Skull emitted a dainty belch. 

“You know, I used to picture him as a small child, vulnerable, scared, traumatized. I thought it might make a little bit of difference when I fantasized about all the ways I’d end his fucked up existence. And what I discovered?”

He grinned and gave Adam’s shoulder a gentle, friendly punch.

“I didn’t give a solitary shit. Plenty of us had shitty home lifes. We didn’t all turn into narcissistic, murdering dictators. Fuck him!”

The Red Sentry spat heavily in the rocks.

“You’ll do fine, Adam. Just think of the most messed up, evil shit you can imagine. Really out there fuckery. Then go with it.”

With that, Skull tipped his head respectfully and marched off towards his bunk, ready for another nightmare-fueled, sleepless ‘rest’. 

Sighing, the Black Sentry briskly kicked at the loose gravel before stalking off into night, his mind attempting to enter the realm of wild fuckery that Drakkon seemed to inhabit twenty-four seven. 

The following week, a frazzled, anxious Black Sentry paced the main hall of the palace, preparing to present his idea to Lord Drakkon. For a worrying amount of time, Adam suffered from a form of ‘writer’s block’, the result of picturing who the unfortunate victim was going to be and how much suffering he was comfortable subjecting them to before the blessed relief of death.

‘Got to meet in the middle. Just enough to be fair and merciful but satisfying to that evil bastard.’

Try as he might, Adam just couldn’t not get his mind to cooperate and venture in the depths of depravity he knew was required to complete his ‘assignment’. However, if his proposition was unsatisfactory….

The Sentry felt sick inside, trading his own life for another essentially. Skull had floated a few ideas to him over their shared suppers, provided he promised not to judge him too harshly regarding his suggestions. Not a concern as Adam eagerly accepted the help.

And now, the big day was here. 

What would Drakkon think about their theatrics?

Several servants passed him in the halls as they completed their household chores. They side eyed the Sentry curiously, not wanting to get close to one of Drakkon’s assassins. 

“Man, are they alright? They look like they’re going through something,” one of the butlers whispered to a frail, bird-thin bus boy.

“Who cares? The Sentries are as psychotic as those two demons in the throne room,” he snapped, glaring over at Adam. 

An ominous creak sounded slow and creepy. Through the opening, a muscular, black gloved hand beckoned Adam to enter, one finger curling rapidly over and over. 

“Come in, come in said the spider to the fly..” a growly voice chuckled from within.

Swallowing a large, aching ball of saliva, Adam begrudgingly followed Drakkon’s pet, Red, into the throne room.

“I’m excited to hear what you’ve come up with,” the canine grinned over his shoulder. “You’re so soft and cute, I’d hate to tear you up….”

[optiwashere]

Saturday Mind Soup + Random Fandom Ravings

Not a new music kinda day for me. Instead, I'm about to get ready to do sadly normal adult things instead of writing.

But!

I did write over the course of the week. Here's what I've been working on the past few days. I also have a question at the end that I'd love to hear your answer to, just out of sheer curiosity.

I can now just fucking call it Nightsongs lmao. I edited down two of the chapters (they were legitimately bloated) but also bulked up the second chapter a bit, so six of one half-dozen of the other.

Chapter [redacted+1] is still in the works, but I have enough buffer time to work on it that I'm not worried. It's just... a lot, emotionally.

Wrote some silly rat fluff that, of course, turned into a fic about comfort in its own way. I am far too obvious.

I'm writing a second chapter for Blades in the Night because I like the idea too much to let it sit. It's going to sit in a sorta... "complete, but open for more" status basically forever at this rate. Also, it's an excuse for smut.

Everything else has been kinda blahhhhh in my head. I have a couple ideas that I rattle around, but nothing sticks on the page. It all ends up being unreadable gunk. This annoys me because I want to write these ideas, but I get a strange block about them.

Since the rant got longer than I expected, my question was: If you read other Shadowheart/OC writers, who are your favorites? I could use the recs, because I feel like I know a handful and that's all.

I think the last bullet of my working on list is related to the "era" of fandom we're in. The fandom hype is slowing down, at least the non-Astarion fandom. Additionally, people's headcanons are starting to solidify and fanon is coalescing around... something? I really don't know what, and it's weird being completely in the dark about it.

Either way, I find myself in that space where I'm suddenly and weirdly discomfited by it all. I worry about my characterization more than usual and dedicate less time to writing than I want to because of it.

To add onto that surreal feeling, there's the realization that I don't really... know anyone in the Shadowheart/OC sphere. Is it even a corner of fandom that exists? Are there "big" Shadowheart/OC writers? There's a fair amount of fanart, but the "big" fanartists have chosen their corners which is going to cause a certain element to form around them that will be interesting to see in the future.

I could name a few writers in my general corner whose fics are very popular, but I never hear from them or see them around. I have to assume they're not very active elsewhere. IDK, it's all so bizarre and makes the fairly popular category of Shadowheart/OC feel empty. I forgot how hollow fandom spaces feel when you ignore the corner that overshadows everything else.

Every week or so, I try to find writers whose works aren't getting a ton of comments/reach and read them, commenting on the ones that I enjoy. I'm always hopeful that I'll find a rapport with those people, but it doesn't always work out that way. There's a couple people here that I know follow me from those sorts of comments, so feel free to say hello! This is mostly a weird rant.

The feelings will pass. They always do. In the moment, however, they cause blocks that don't need to be there.

[nirikeehan]

Good morning!! 🪹 and ⚡️ for the weather asks?

Thank you for these!!

Question list here

🪹 Drought - What do you do to help with Writer's Block?

(idk why the emoji isn't showing up on my desktop 🤷‍♀️ hope that's not the case for others)

After many, many years of writing, I have come to the conclusion "writer's block" is a deceptive name for "burn out." I have never once been "blocked" when excited by a new idea, or have the time and the mental energy to dedicate to a project. I have been blocked when stressed out and overworked, or coming off of having to bang out a ton of papers at the end of a semester, or because I've been staring at the same WIP every day for the last five years.

The worst writing advice I got in school, the one they will try to hammer into you over and over, is that you should be writing every day of your life. Not only is this advice false, it is dangerous. I firmly believe aside from eating, drinking, sleeping and maybe bathing, there is literally nothing you need to be doing every day until you die. (I mean, I guess parenting maybe, but eventually kids will be old enough to take care of themselves for a day or two.)

I got into this horrible shame spiral if I did not write every single day, regardless of how many jobs I was working, or how much stress or anxiety I had going on in my life, I was a horrible failure as a writer and I'd never amount to anything and blah blah blah. And it's just... too much. It's too fucking much.

So if I'm well and truly blocked, and the words just aren't coming, I rest. I do something else. Maybe I write something else. This is why I have ended up with a ton of WIPs lol - I realized I will write far more if I have several projects I can juggle than if I have The One Project That Must Be Finished or Else... or else what? Nothing, that's what. You're just making yourself feel guilty for no reason. Especially if you are writing for a hobby, nothing you're writing ever needs to be finished. If you're just practicing and noodling around with ideas, that's okay! Who cares? You can finish it when you feel like it! You're not on the clock! There's no algorithm you need to feed to get paid! Removing a capitalist mindset from writing (assuming you aren't immediately being paid to write the thing) helped my actual writing IMMENSELY.

⚡️Lightning - Have you ever spontaneously added something to your story that you wouldn't have added normally? If so, what made you do it?

Oh God NGL that's like 90% of the things I write. I'm really into "what if" ideas. I chase those plots like mad. I have one that hit me this morning while half asleep and I might write it today instead of finishing this nightmare au chapter. Maybe I'll do both if I have time, IDK.

Even if I have things vaguely planned most of the time I am just writing scenes to see what happens. So if something comes up organically I am far more likely to say "huh, okay, let's see how I can incorporate this into the story" than I am to say, nuh uh, get out. I think stories are better for this sort of innovation. I know everyone is in a moral panic about AI lately, but I truly believe stuff like this is what will always separate human creativity from machines. The AI is doing predictive text, trying to guess things based on stuff that's already been done a million times. If you get a weird flash of inspiration but you think it's out of "the norm" – I tend to find that's the real visionary stuff that comes out of writing. I'm not into leaning into the bland, formulaic options. That will just convince the corporate overlords there IS no difference between human creativity and AI.

[inkpenparker]

for the ask game! ❤️

6, 7, 8, 25, 26

6.

“The Cartoon Network dickheads didn’t do it.”

7. (From chapter 10 of i used to want to be a hero)

It must’ve amused him, because he cracks a slight smile and some of the lines in his forehead smooth out. “You’re very wise, Spiderling.”

Penny snorts into her homework. “Yeah that’s me, a real Gandalf.”

“Finally managing to get into Tolkien?” Tony asks, picking up the book with one hand and lifting a suspicious eyebrow at it, as if it’s gonna grow fangs and claws and attack him.

Penny snorts. “Not really, but listening to the audiobooks helps I guess. I got most of my actual progress done when Shuri and I were on video call.”

“Boss,” FRIDAY chimes from above. “Ms. Potts would like me to inform you both that everyone has headed to bed for the evening, and you’re both encouraged to do so as well.”

Tony chuckles. “Alright, seems like you’re off the hook for more of that literature nightmare. To bed, Spider-Heathen.”

8.

“You tell me your problems (have I become one of your problems?)

And I tell you the truth (could it be easy this once?)

It’s the last thing you wanted (everything that’s mine is a landmine)

It’s the first thing I do (did my love aid and abet you?)”

- the alcott, the national ft. taylor swift

25.

Editing, and then coming up with chapter names. Editing is usually where I try and beef up scenes or add in or change GE descriptors where I was having writers block before. Lately, I’ve been using editing as a tool specifically for writers block. Combine that with the comic sans trick and I’ve gotten more progress done the last just week then I have in about two months. And let me tell you, I love using lyrics as titles, and like I’m doing in i used to want to be a hero, “secondary titles” which are more quips than anything else. For the official titles, I spend hours agonizing over what lyric I want to use, which one works and doesn’t, which conveys the right amount and kind of emotion I want it to, etc etc, and I have a fuck ton of fun. I’m quite proud of all of them that you’ve seen so far, and even more proud of the ones you haven’t. And I do love actually writing when I’ve found a really good spark of inspiration.

26.

The actual process of writing. Specifically transitions. Sometimes I can really struggle with how to eloquently end or move a scene into the next one. It’s part of what’s been holding up chapter ten of i used to want to be a hero. The other part that’s holding it up is I’m horrible at writing bureaucracy. Granted this is fanfiction and nothing has to be perfect but I also don’t want it to sound fake, you know? The ending of a conversation or the never ending bureaucracy.

[the-martyrfication-of-the-matron]

I see your actual problem with Klaus's writing is way beyond what I touched upon, and I'm not going to get into any more of that. Tons of people on this website who agree with you and tons who have better arguments than I do.

The only reason I bothered you with my mega response is that I'm so fucking tired, excuse my French, of this fandom and the constant bashing of the writing of the show as if it's an olympic sport. I barely see any content anymore because of the amount of blogs I've blocked over the years. It's a shame we can't just enjoy things the way they were written anymore, even if we don't agree with how some narratives play out. And I just hate the entitlement some people seem to have developed in recent years, where they think screenwriters owe them stories that exactly reflect the way they would have handled things. (And then wonder why things get cancelled left and right.) It's a bit hypocritical how we as a fandom, on the other hand, would never dare to criticise a fanfiction writer for their absolutely ridicuous headcanons and narratives. Screen writers are usually fans of the show they write for, too, you know.

Personally, if I have a problem with a show and its writing, I move on and find something that I actually enjoy instead. I understand that you're probably just frustrated because of the unrealised potential or whatever. What you do about that is entirely up to you. I'll curate my own experience accordingly.

Sorry for making you my breaking point and unloading this rant onto you.

Oh no, it’s chill, I totally understandable.

The only reason I feel comfortable posting about this stuff is because it’s kind of like… my funky little niche in a way (not very niche niche, but a niche none the less) for me to talk about my thoughts on shows writing and redoing the shows myself.

However I am, in fact, the kind of asshole to also judge people for their headcanons and how they write their fics lmao I’m just aware that they are actually allowed to cuss me out for it so I don’t.

[eepyuii]

frostbite — pt. 5

pairing ; childe x gender neutral!reader

content ; childhood friends to “rivals” to lovers, slowburn-ish

cw ; just a lotta fighting, painful amount of archon quest biz (at least to me LMAO)

notes ; finally!!!! it’s here!!!!!! my winter break started this last week and i took the chance to take a small break from writing this (i had a PHAT writer’s block for a few days too).

in that time, i also came to the heartbreaking realization that the reader’s backstory is literally fucking mercy overwatch’s backstory. i cannot elaborate but it is the undeniable truth and it vexes me so…

finally- kinda unhappy with this chapter, it feels a little inconsistent to me considering the breaks that i took between writing certain parts and i also absolutely HATE having to follow the AQ dialogue script, it’s the bane of my existence.

previous | next | masterlist

“y’know i also did have something to talk about with you.”

“yeah? what’s that?”

“well you see- the traveler and paimon went to seek help from that little girl at bubu pharmacy, qiqi, and-“ you tuned out the rest of his tale. at the moment, you and childe were both sat at the edge of the mountaintop where you’d fought mere minutes ago, looking over at liyue harbor below.

with fists tightly gripping onto the grass underneath you, you scrutinize every detail of the harbor that you could at such a height, which you’d much rather do than even spare a glance at the harbinger beside you. you think you’d murder him on the spot out of sheer rage if you looked at him. he keeps going on and on with the story, until you hear him slap his thigh and pause his sentence to let his laughter seep through.

“an- and then.. qiqi says ‘coconut milk’! the cocogoat they were looking for that whole time wasn’t real! it was just coconut milk! hahahah…” childe wheezes, bringing a finger to wipe the tear that creeps into his eye.

qiqi’s coconut milk..? oh, so that’s what that was about. the recollection of your sighting reignites your determination to steer childe away from his plan- that is the whole reason you’re even there after all. you’re quick to tune him out again as he insists on the sheer hilarity of what he’s just recounted, rehearsing in your mind how you’ll try to sell him on your idea. you fidget with the socket of your polearm, where blade meets the pole in tight bindings, with furrowed eyebrows and a tense expression.

“yeah, uhm, really funny story and all but-“ with the start of your sentence, childe abruptly ends his giggles and turns to listen to you with full attention.

“w-what if… you.. didn’t summon osial?” there. bandaid’s ripped. you considered buttering up your proposition with a foreword but there seems to be no point in it- he doesn’t burst into incredulous yells at your outrageous request.

no, he chuckles.

“i knew that’s what you’d want to talk about from the beginning. thought you’d be more assertive about, though.” he teases with a warm smile. it’s too trained. disingenuous.

“unfortunately i can’t guarantee that.”

there it is. you’re at least proud of yourself for detecting it before he could catch you off guard with his obnoxious phony grin.

“well humor me then. why not? we have no confirmation as to whether or not your theory about the forging of rex lapis’ death is right and-and what if he’s really dead?! what if it’s just that easy and the gnosis, if not inside the exuvia, is just hidden away somewhere else?! i-i mean liyue is huge! there’s tons of places-“

childe presents a collected yet amused expression, one that irks you to no end. “it’s a last resort, y/n. that’s all it is.”

“but it’s not! you’re planning on using it, i can tell that you are. and that’s, by definition, not what a last resort is-“

“what’s made you so bent on stopping this anyhow?”

at the question, you finally halt from your panicked rambling. you take a second to stabilize your breathing, to finally let out a deep sigh from the very bottom of your chest.

“i know it’ll sound stupid and corny but… i saw the people. i spent the entire evening yesterday walking around the harbor and watching people just- exist. and they’re so full of life, they have so much to tell, so much to show.”

if there was anything that could make you feel smaller and more embarrassed at that moment, it was tears. and by the gods, did they deliver- eyes fluttering, lips trembling. the whole spiel.

“they have so much to live, still. and i-i can’t take that away from them. well, at least i can’t watch you take that away from them, it’s not even within my direct power to stop you or not. i’m just a measly battle medic, one that’s watched the doctor and so many other fatui operatives do horrible things to people. people who are just like anyone else in the harbor, who deserved to live just as much as they do. i don’t care what you do to get the damn gnosis so long as it doesn’t risk turning hundreds of innocent people into unnecessary casualties.”

your fists return to grip the grass, this time so tightly that the dirt and roots start to rise within your balled fingers.

“and don’t act like it’s not unnecessary and rather some sort of valiant show of unyielding loyalty to her majesty so you can follow through with it. neither of us are stupid but one of us is stubborn.”

he looks at you in utter silence, you can’t tell if he’s studying all of what you’ve told him or just perpexled at just how much you unearthed. and then he laughs again, hard. you truly cannot tell what’s gotten him into such a giggly mood today.

“ah, y/n, you never cease to amaze me. you see right through me! read my entire plan like a children’s tale.” he shakes his head amusedly.

“unfortunately, you were wrong about one thing- this grandiose overkill of mine isn’t only for the sake of the tsaritsa. while i do aim to fulfill the mission she gave me, i also aim to make some entertainment out of it while i’m at it. i want the thrill of a real battle, real stakes. and that means i have to see my plan until the very end. not to mention, i believe in the pursuit of strength above all else- if the people of liyue can truly prosper without a god, they’ll have to show their capability to do so one way or the other. i’m simply speeding up the process.”

childe states nonchalantly, as if his words don’t sound almost entirely insane. he stands up from his spot beside you and dusts off his trousers, beginning to walk away with the most careless pip in his step. until he stops midway and looks back at you over his shoulder.

“i’m sorry, there’s truly nothing i can do about this. though, if you’d still like to fight back, i urgently invite you to do so- i would love to see more of your skills in action, plus it would make things so much more interesting.”

—

what ensues next is the worst waiting game of your life.

sat pathetically at your office desk, leg bouncing restlessly. you’d done anything and everything to pass the time- crosswords, reading, doodles, even paged through a magazine on the inazuman art of paper folding- origami, it was called. at this point your desk was overflowing with tiny paper stars, cranes and flowers.

you know the milelith would be here, locking down the bank and investigating any suspicious activity- all while the real suspicious individual was nowhere to be found. well, you know exactly where he is and exactly what he’ll do there. yet you sit here, tail between your legs, waiting for things to resolve themselves, if they even do. curse the guilt that ever grows in your chest. and curse the the job you never wanted, that put you in this gut wrenching dilemma. but truly, curse the millelith for being so incompetent as to take so long to arrive at the bank that it gives you more than enough time to sneak out and make your way to the golden house as fast as humanly possible.

you find the luxurious building devoid of any guards, or people at all. that is until you walk in, weapon drawn, to find unconscious millelith soldiers by the door, expectedly, as well as the familiar sight of the traveler with paimon by her side, all the way across the floor of the house.

as you get closer, so does childe, coming out of hiding to catch the duo off guard. he starts speaking to the traveler and paimon, seeming oblivious to your arrival until the sound of your careful footsteps are within his earshot- his ears seem to perk up ever so slightly, just like they did when you first arrived in liyue, though he doesn’t show sign of being surprised in the slightest.

“speaking of being in my way...” childe taunts, merely looking at you from over his shoulder. the two lean over to the side to see what he was referring to and when they spot you in your prepared stance, paimon jumps.

“agh! it’s a fatui ambush!!” she panics.

“so you’ve been planning on taking the gnosis from inside the exuvia all along?” the traveler asks with calculated calmness.

“not exactly. i’m not here with the intention of following through with that plan- looks like i arrived just in time too.” you reply, eyes staring daggers onto childe’s back.

he scoffs. “don’t you think that trying to stop me now would just be wasted effort? as one of the eleven fatui harbingers, it is my duty to see the will of the tsaritsa fulfilled. she will get that what she desires…” childe turns to face you coldly.

“i know i openly urged you to come here, y/n, but we both know that is what will ultimately happen.”

“not if i have anything to say about it.” the traveler threatens.

“ha! i’m not asking for your blessing and there’s nothing you can do to stop me. the time for discussion and diplomacy has already passed. i mean, if it were up to me, i would’ve skipped that stage to begin with- but i’m willing to do as the tsaritsa deems fit.”

childe sighs dreamily. “either way, we now to my favorite part. a simple pleasure that i am oh so delighted to share with you-“ his eyes turn to you, an excited glint in them.

“the battle.” the look in his azure gaze shifts from excitedness to maniacal faster than you realize.

“battle? so you’re the type that goes looking for trouble, huh?” paimon says, a serious and cautious expression on her small face that you hadn’t caught before.

“haha, you could say that. when signora offended the deities outside the cathedral in mondstat, she swiftly left the scene once her mission was accomplished. instead of confronting you directly, she relied on the snow and ice to make her escape. she wouldn’t want the knights to come running toward the sound of battle, now, would she? when she faces a worthy opponent, she will prioritize her mission, weigh the outcomes, and consider the consequences of her actions…”

signora… so that’s how she acquired the anemo gnosis. you’d never gotten much involved with her dealings, both directly and indirectly, so you only heard whispers and passing reports of her successful mission in mondstat. you know she was supposedly involved in the current mission as well but hadn’t run into her even once. you’d hope to keep it that way.

“hm… you not so much, though, right? i’d hate to even consider riding signora’s coattails but which one of you has already brought a gnosis home?”

slow, steady steps direct you toward where the traveler and paimon stand ready- though you still face childe with watchful eyes and some newfound smugness.

childe beams at the imposing stances the three of you present.

“oh-hoh, so you intend to fight me? good… i won’t kill you all, i’ll just play along- to feel the thrill of battle!”

“besides, you could never defeat me. not even in your wildest dreams.” he turns to you. “that includes you, y/n. all the skill that you have only got you far enough to catch me off guard- you won’t fool me again. but hey, try to relish the fight anyway. if you ask me… without that, what else is there?”

“if you’re as strong as you are delusional then maybe you stand a chance.” you snarl back.

for now, you decide to ignore how the entire current situation seems to only feed into exactly what childe wants so extensively that he looks giddier than any kid of teucer’s age would look in a toy store, mission completely disregarded at this point.

“ahahaha! fighting talk, i love it! now let’s see you live up to it…”

the fight starts almost immediately, with a round of rapid hydro arrows fired by childe- easily avoidable. he dashes across the floor of the golden house, dodging the travelers geo constructs and your cryo advances. all three of you seem to equally sustain yourselves in a way that creates a nearly tiring back and forth of strikes, just like your spar with the harbinger earlier. eventually, childe resorts, almost without thinking, to a cylindrical barrier of hydro that becomes the most perfect opportunity for you to send a wave of ice that freezes over the barrier in record speed, shattering it into dust and opening the way for the traveler to deliver a final strike. though, before she can, childe is enveloped in a dome of coursing water- its current powerful enough to push the two of you away. it lasts for a few seconds, completely obscuring your opponent, you assume he’s using it to recover momentarily.

you take the opportunity to check up on the traveler and paimon to tend to any injuries they might’ve sustained- the very moment you take your eyes off of childe, a purple spark shoots out right before your face, effectively startling you back into a combat stance.

“good! no wonder signora was so wary of you. well, that just means i can go all out! brace yourself, this is about to get tough…”

the roaring smack talk comes from a newly transformed childe, who now wields his electro delusion in a slightly different uniform- black garments and his signature red mask covering his face. the elemental blades he famously uses now spark with pure electricity and they swing at the two of you with unparalleled speed. you’ve always known of childe’s delusion, though you only ever heard whispers about his electro form. unfortunately, the fatui gossip and childe’s very own trash talking weren’t mere bluffs, the fight felt extensively tougher. he dashes and blinks in every direction, leaving you disorientingly little time to position yourselves. with caution and hyper-awareness, you and the traveler manage to get some hits in the harbinger- yet they prove futile in staggering your opponent when he sends a powerful rush of attacks that send the three of you flying back.

the traveler struggles briefly to get back up, while you recover quicker and rush to stand before her and paimon defensively. childe steps towards you menacingly, swirling his weapon around.

“not bad. your skills are quite impressive… but that’s about as far as you’ll get.” he charges forward, weapon pointed, only for the traveler to send a small vortex of… anemo? she was just using geo powers a second ago… and now that you think about it, where is her vision? as if to further your confusion, she simultaneously summons a wave of geo crystals while still maintaining the vortex. well, no time to be befuddled for much longer, as you brush it aside to cast your own counterattack of ice- this time successfully sending childe back.

wait… successfully?

when the dust clears, it reveals a ring of geo crystals surrounding where childe was supposed to be, though in his place is only the double edged spear he wields. the hairs on the back of your neck rise and you turn around almost as fast as childe’s own lightning sparks. floating, somehow, right beside the exuvia is none other than the harbinger, chuckling darkly.

“hahah… didn’t think you had that card up your sleeve…”

paimon kicks the air frustratedly. “you were just playing us to get to the exuvia!”

“it’s-… it’s not there..” you pant out exhaustedly, quiet enough so only the traveler and paimon hear.

“oh quiet down!” snarls childe. he closes a fist loaded with electro energy and sends it into the exuvia, a powerful wave shoots out from it. “well then… i’ll be taking morax’s gnosis now!”

when he pulls his hand back out, it’s empty. you sigh, somewhat relieved to be right while childe barks out hearty, maniacal laughter.

“ahahahah! i see how it is…” he turns to you- well at least you think he’s looking at you, the mask covers his eyes from you yet you still feel the burn of their stare. “seems like you were right all along, y/n. i never should have doubted your intellect… or maybe… maybe you beat me to it, didn’t you?!”

childe growls like a crazed animal, his accusation toward you doesn’t even make any sense- though, sense seems to have been abandoned by him long long ago. he shoots into the center of the room and water and electricity swirl around him, sending several flashes of purple that blind your vision. when your eyes recover and you look back to the where childe was meant to be, there stands… something you’ve never seen before.

something otherworldly.

gigantic stature, sharp claws, a flowing cape with the pattern of a starry night, orange spiked hair and a shell-like, crimson colored mask that harbors a glowing blue gem right in the middle are what makes up the creature in front of you. what in the gods’ names was it? it didn’t resemble a hilichurl, an abyss mage or any regular animal, it was unusually humanoid. and most of all, where did childe go? actually, you know the answer to the latter, you just don’t want to accept it. it couldn’t be, it wasn’t possible, it wasn’t feasible for that to be him. but there was no other possibility, he was nowhere to be found and the resemblance was undeniable- you stare into the creature’s singular, cerulean eye and feel familiarity stir within you. the realization sends sheer horror into your very being, horror you haven’t felt in years.

“a-… ajax?”

taglist ; @kentply @osaemu @rain-and-a-nice-nap

[m4nd0l0r]

Five Hargreeves Headcanons (That Have Consumed Every Single Space in my Mind-)

Description: “Live.. Laugh… Love the insanity the apocalypse brings me.” -Five Hargreeves, tired after a caffeine rush and/or from a drunken high. 2019. (this is canon.. HE TOLD ME HIMSELF)

Author’s Note: this is just how I’m dealing with writer’s block— i swear i’m still working on my upcoming Five fics- 😭😭 so uh have this for now i guess 🥲 no warnings btw!! its just me writing in lowercase a lot- a shit ton of crack and swearing- (five’s body is aged up- and his consciousness ranges from 30 to 50 in my works— however you decided which age you want for your experience :)))

Five Taglist (i forgot to tag im so sorry 😭): @ells-graveyard @noahspector @aelinismyqueen @sunweee @reinaeru @ne0boss @twauna00 @placidpluto @eichenhouseproperty @heartsforsuyin @ghostlywavelengths @technicallydifferenttraveler @seconds-not-decades @magical-girl-on-fire @emotionally-unstabel @peachy-wolfhard @its-loki-bitch @raven-fandomtrash @theilliterateskankula @magicstrange @ne0boss @venusrambles @whereintheworldisspencerreid @honeycombdumbass @mivzai @oscarisaacsleftballsack @zenithinthebin @peachteeaaa @rchaoz @wickedmystery @wordsandnerds @umbrellatte @666abby6666 @iameddiemunsonshair @starlightinhumanform @vennythearsonist @trashmouthsahra (if you want to be removed/added, pls tell me via pm!!)

he likes bitter coffee candy (if the mf cant get coffee he’d raid a candy shop rather than logically coming after a cafe-)

likes slasher films for how creative the deaths look (esp if its practical effects, he’s a sucker for those) (he likes nightmare on elm street, he gives me that impression for WHAT)

^ cos of this- i basically headcanon that in his commission days- he’d kill creatively- as if it were his canvas, my guy is an artist with blood 💪

idk why but he’d be an avid “gelato is NOT ice cream you idiot” typa guy (fucker knows italian and my ass RAN W IT)

he watches julia roberts romance movies (cos i like her rom films so im projecting-) (he def likes the maturity of the ending of my best friend’s wedding)

for some reason he considers mocha as chocolate rather than coffee (like the old man he is)

actually likes caramel, never tells anyone for no reason (fucking punk ass smh)

he’d say he hates animals but he’d give a pat to a dog/cat if he’d see one (but he’ll glare at the poor thing if it scratches him-)

from ptsd from the apocalypse- he tries to never indulge w small things like getting large amounts of food- cos he has the mindset that he “might need extra in case something bad happens”

he’d hate physical touch at first- flinching like a surprised cat on steroids— but he gets used to it slowly- and one person at a time

also i dont give a shit on what anyone thinks- FIVE IS A LITTLE SPOON IN HUGS— why you may ask? fucker is a touch starved ptsd filled mf- he needs those hugs ASAP- he would hold your hand 25/8 to reduce his paranoia i just know it (i PROPHESIZEEEE)

the first beer he drunk was a bottle he found in a post apocalypse alcohol store and the liquid was full w small grime and dirt- but he wanted to try some to “check off a bucket list”

LOVES dark comedies, he just does, he CACKLES when he watches one (but he only shows amusement when he’s alone, never w his siblings)

^ he’d also slap his thigh if he finds something soooo funny (old man behaviour smh)

has a personal vendetta against ppl who WOULDN’T put pineapple on pizza (klaus converted the grandpa and at first he felt gross eating it but as he continues he thought: “ok. this isn’t that bad.” the next thing you know, you see him on the phone calling the pizza place for 2 more boxes of hawaiian pizza—)

listens to edith pliaf RELIGIOUSLY (you would gift him a vinyl of hers and his eyes would SHINE) (the only time you saw his eyes the brightest-)

with modern music— he’d prolly like radio music (until you berate him and convert him to alt & indie rock)

has an odd fixation with guns and knives (like the papa he is) (would explain EVERYTHING ABOUT A SPECIFIC WEAPON) (he’s a nerd) (he’ll never admit it) (ever)

has a switchblade on his dominant arm pocket (he could use anything as a weapon, but he likes to be “prepared”)

like on s1, he’d pretend to be a kid and all innocent & shit to get free shit from strangers (you’d hop on the bandwagon and **nicely** ask him to get you stuff too.. he complains and says no but you’d see him on the next day with the shit you requested on his hands)

^ continuation with this— fucker prolly got a coffee machine cos he went up to some lady- went on, put a sad act, and went “oh no.. i dont got a gift to give to my dad.. he always wanted a coffee machine after ours broke” and the lady would have pitied his ass and bought a cheap but durable one for him— this would lead to a situation where the rest of the umbrellas try to take away the coffee machine away from his addicted ass-

viktor: should we?? do something??? diego: we’ve took THREE of those damn machines- what else can we do??? klaus: it’s like… he pulls it out of his ass.. you think he shits out coffee beans?? or is it just liquidated coffee at this point? you: i should call the ambulance before he falls off the window from the coffee… can’t deal with a cranky five.. luther: (is tired of it all and just wants to enjoy his married life) .. yes. please do.

in conclusion? never take away five’s coffee- he will drive you mad—

whenever he’s drunk- he acts like a goddamn sloth (esp if he’s comfortable with you- mf will CLING ON YOU LIKE SOME PARASITE—) (i wouldn’t mind tho 😏- i mean what?)

though as much as he likes bitter coffee- i see him DESPISE BITTER BEER, he would spit that stuff out of with the most offended face ever (all scrunched up like crumpled paper)

for my fellow filipino readers- he unfortunately SUCKS ASSSS when speaking in tagalog… you either tease the living fuck out of him about him or smile through your ear pain going “wow! galing! (amazing!)” (no he was not amazing he sounded like a screeching tire or smth- /lh)

[cutetehe]

ight little request cause your writing is keeping me alive right now ngl

so last week I impulsively shaved my head ( like I didnt go full-on mr worldwide more like a buzz cut) so now I just live to see obey me hcs for a male mc who did the same shit

*evil laughter*

also THANK YOU 🙏

Male Mc shaves their head, how do the brothers react?

don’t ask why these are short as hell- I’m having writers block😪

lil story

Mc stares at himself in the mirror for ten minutes trying to hype himself up to cut his hair after noticing how long his hair was, Mc wasn’t gonna pay 20,000 Grimm for a haircut! That’s just insane

Mc finally decides to go for it, he grabs his shaver and hopes for the best

“For the love of god- or Diavolo please let my haircut turn out decent” Mc mumbles under his breathe before cutting their hair

While mc was cutting his hair he cut off his hair a little to low

“shit- okay I’ll just cut it short don’t freak out” Mc thought before total chaos happened

Mc kept cutting his hair shorter and shorter after every mistake until he was left with a buzz cut and a bundle of sadness

After mc realized what he did he is in disbelief

Mc just stares at himself in the mirror for an entire hour until accepting that, he has a buzz cut and can’t fix it

Then he realized-

HE HAS DINNER WITH THE BROTHERS

Lucifer

When you showed up to dinner with a beanie on he knew something was up

He just ignored it until one of his brothers pointed it out

When one of his brothers pointed out the beanie mc choked

“I might’ve…maybe…. shaved off my hair” mc says sheepishly

The table was silent

“YOU DID WHAT” Mammon yells

“It doesn’t look bad! I actually sorta like it” Mc says while taking off his hat

Lucifer didn’t know how to react

Your hair definitely wasn’t bad but it’s so different that it looked funny at first

Lucifer is definitely the first one to get used it… sorta

One time when he was walking past the hallway he sees some dude with no hair and didn’t recognize you

He thinks you are the only person that can shave their head and actually look good doing it

Mammon

When he heard you cut your hair his jaw was hanging

He’s debating on if he likes it or if he liked your old hair cut more

Both your haircuts were good but… A BUZZ CUT HAS THAT FUNNY FEELING WHEN YOU BRUSH YOUR HAND THROUGH IT SO HE LIKES YOUR BUZZ CUT MORE

Brushes his hand against your hair all. the. time.

At first he thought he’d hate your hair but he actually finds it cool

cool to touch that is…💀

He thinks a buzz cut looks nice on you but doesn’t want you to know

LEVIIIII

Mic drop but with a fork out of shock

He freaks out for like twenty minutes

Then he remembers the amount of bad ass characters with buzz cuts

He slowly starts to like it

Not slowly almost immediately

He went from “ YOUR BEAUTY IS RUINED” to “…wait why is it actually sorta hot”

He asks if you are cold often ever since you cut off your hair

Honestly he likes it cause when you guys cuddle your hair isn’t in his face

Satan

“wait what” Is all that went through satan mind

“Did- did you do that on purpose???” Satan just confused tbh

After you explain to him what happened he’s just chill about it

“I did the same but instead of shaving all of it off I just use my hair to hide my bald spot”

“YOU HAVE A BALD SPOT??” Mc asks a little to loud- now Asmo knows

I headcanon that he has a bald spot

After Satan saw how Lucifer didn’t recognize you he plans out so many pranks to do on Lucifer

ASMOOO!!!!

Asmo more sad that you didn’t come to him for a haircut than the buzz cut surprisingly

“You aren’t freaking out that I have a buzz cut??” You say surprised

“Uh no?? Why would I care, You are still attractive with it”

“…also cause I have a ton of accessories to match you and your buzz cut” Asmo says honestly

He’s going to carry so many beanies to make sure you aren’t cold

BEEEEL

i fucking love Beel

I don’t even think he would care

He probably had one at one point

He’s still confused on why you did it though

“Why’d you shaved off your hair?” Beel asks casually

“New look” Mc lied to avoid the embarrassment

“oh cool- anyways wanna go to Hell’s Kitchen?”

Beel would 100% carry earmuffs so your ears don’t get cold though

belphegor

stuck in the attic *says this as if I’m not at story 77*

that’s my excuse today for not doing him

Masterlist

Do y’all like what I did with the masterlist text

[thotfulsuccubus]

This post will be somewhat off topic from what I usually post on here, but I've noticed it far too often already within the CoTL fandom. (Rant)

There are a TON of great artists and writers in the growing community for CoTL. And as you know, I am mostly a creator of more suggestive art, and I very much enjoy seeing other suggestive works through the fandom as well.

One thing that REALLY bothers me though, is the amount of people I have seen actively drawn 18+ content of either the bishops together or Aym and Baal. (Incxstous)

Of course, I am not going to say any @'s or names, as this is just in general and not targeted towards a specific person.

But, I just think it's absolutely CRAZY how people will create content like that. So many times I have seen beautiful art from one creator only for their whole profile to be ruined by what else is simply hidden away in their media tab.

In addition, I have ALSO seen potential breeding grounds for groomers via discord servers. Once again, I am not going to mention any @'s or server names, but it was the fact that the server itself was 16+ AND had unrestricted NSFW channels? Very worrisome.

😮‍💨 Anyways, I'm still too sick to worry my fucking heart out, but best believe I will be blocking anyone who believes it's ok to have problematic content.

[brrrritscoldinhere]

TW: very slight mention of homophobia and slurs

Blissember day 4: Royal

Headcanons tdy because i have writers block

— okay so first year Remus Lupin comes into Hogwarts as a tiny guy, pale and sickly, lots of scars and shit

— so his self esteem is extremely low

— and it gets even lower when people start to taunt him about all his scars

— the Marauders obviously notice and James and Sirius do everything they can to make sure there aren’t anymore gossip or teasing or bullying for Remus

— and it’s all cool up until Snape finds out about Remus being a werewolf

— (I cannot express how much I hate him)

— So now the taunting is coming from Snape now, and it’s a million times worse considering his grudge against James and Sirius

— and it gets worse when he finds out Remus and Sirius are in a relationship

— calls them slurs

— basically a lot of homophobia is involved and James would gladly get rid of the little fucker by more illegal means but Remus basically just tells Snape to fuck off before he tells Lily everything he’s done, so he backs off

— (he tells Lily anyway and she berates him for not telling her sooner)

— and the next day none of the Marauders were (unbelievably) involved in the prank that caused Snape to suddenly gain extremely red rashes as he ate breakfast

— Lily is seen waltzing into the great hall with the smuggest look

— She still denies everything

— but basically everything made Remus feel terrible

— but Sirius had an idea to cheer him up

— it was stupid but hopefully stupid enough to make Remus laugh and enjoy himself a bit

— so the next day, after lots of planning, James, Sirius, Peter and Lily smooth out the plan

— As soon as Remus woke up the following morning, a paper crown is placed onto his head

— (“For today, Moony, you will be treated as royalty, and nothing less.”)

— his favourite food is always placed onto his plate by James for every meal in the great hall and he even tries to feed the werewolf

— (Remus tries to refuse but in the end he begrudgingly lets James airplane him food into his mouth like a toddler)

— massages are distributed throughout the day, by Sirius

— Remus enjoys this the most because they usually end up snogging after a few minutes of Sirius’ hands on him

— James gags when he finds matching hickeys on both their necks

— Lily and Remus have a book club session and they talk about their favourite books, with Remus thoroughly enjoying himself because he loved talking about the stories he read and exchanging muggle books with Lily

— (she lets him borrow all the books she’s brought from home, like Alice in Wonderland and Little Women and 50,000 Leagues Under the Sea because she adores the bright smile on his face)

— Peter buys him tons of chocolate, all his favourites and even managed to get a few good muggle ones for them to try out

— they make themselves sick by having a competition over who can eat the most chocolate

— Remus obviously wins, but at what cost?

— (at the cost of having to throw his guts up over the amount if chocolate he devoured)

— the paper crown is on his head for the entire day and Remus doesn’t even care that people look at him weirdly, because he has the best friends and nothing can beat that ever

— and at the end of the day he and Sirius go up to the Astronomy tower and gaze up at the stars, the black-haired boy fixing the crown on his boyfriend’s head so it wasn’t crooked anymore

— they gaze at the stars and fall asleep together, and Minerva finds them and doesn’t have the heart to give them detention, so she merely transports them into the dorms via magic and let them cuddle together on a bed, asleep and content