#anotheropti fanfiction mind soup

[optiwashere]

I didn't do one of these last week because... eh?

This week, I've got so much on my mind between the epilogue and some personal stuff floating around in my head. Plus, I want to take a day or two off from even thinking about fanfiction just to play some fighting games with friends.

But I have a blanket and a cup of coffee, so why not ramble about what I've been writing/tinkering with over the week? Includes some Smutmas thoughts.

If you want to know why I function the way I do (poorly) all you need to know is that I got about 2.5 hours of sleep and the first thing I did when I woke up was type this out:

Will I actually do all/any of these? I dunno, this month is hectic for me and if I do some I dearly, dearly hope I don't make them all 4k+ fics. I beg myself to stick to 1-2k. Everything in that second list is a complete IDK from me.

I might cut it down to 6 or 10 days of Smutmas if it becomes too much too soon, especially considering that I didn't really think to do it until the 30th. I think I could pull off 10 days starting on the 8th? Maybe tack 2 more on the 20th and 21st to hit 12 days?

Much to consider.

Oh yeah, the actual writing thing.

Decided to split one chapter into two for Nightsongs. They worked OK together, but split apart I think they will have ampler tension considering the weekly posting.

Probably going to skip a week or two of Nightsongs towards the end of the month or early January? Mostly so that I don't burn out from the writing/posting cycle. The 26th is a Tuesday, and that would be an awkward time to post for me.

I wrote 500 dense, dense words for the Gauntlet/Nightsong fic. I want it to match the tone and style of It Is the Wound She Gave Me, but from Asheera's POV so it will likely end up more resigned and somber than Shadowheart's POV in Wound.

Ideas for a follow-up to Blades in the Night are brewing already. There's a couple threads left hanging. IDK if I will make it a third chapter or sequel fic, it depends on any smut I add.

[optiwashere]

I liked doing this last week, but it will get kinda repetitive in the coming weeks. So I'm not sure if I'll do it often while I'm posting the modern/band AU, but oh well!

It's another Saturday morning in a blanket with new music. Truly all I could ever need to write.

Here's what I've been working on...

Modern/band AU is fit and ready to start posting this upcoming week. Chapter [redacted] is complete, and I'm now far enough ahead that even a few weeks of busy life won't stop a regular posting schedule. And if I keep up writing then I'll be able to post around Xmas without needing a break!

Chapter [redacted+1] has an opening sentence, which is often the hardest part.

The outline for the AU has been modified a little. Combined three chapters into one, split out another chapter into two. Probably lots of consolidation to be done otherwise. There's a weird bit in the outline that's kinda fuzzy, but I'm sure I'll knuckle my way through it since it's not thematically deep. Might even be another chapter consolidation. This fic is definitely going to be longer than the 40k I was hoping it would top out at...

Editing the previous chapters has been a fun exercise in trimming the fat! I still want there to be scenes that are just ~vibes~ but I axed 1k words and the whole thing is cleaner for it.

More Minthara/Lae'zel is in the works, but it's mostly only the skeleton of an idea as I've had to rework it multiple times. I've a little under 1k actually written, and I'm not too convinced of what it is at the moment either. Quite frustrating.

Another seedling of an idea for non-smutty Asheera/Shadowheart fics. But it's really just "Shadowheart meets Asheera's parents" and boy I'm not ready for the mixed emotions Shadowheart's going to feel in that one. You know it's not just going to be fluff.

The Gauntlet/Nightsong segment for my core Shadowheart/Asheera series has a skeleton of an outline now. The POVs have been picked, the core beats are there, and I know it's going to hurt like a motherfucker to write some of this.

[optiwashere]

this is your local fanfic writer in her natural morning habitat:

Wrapped in a blanket, listening to the new Sulphur Aeon, and writing silly modern AUs nobody asked for while trying to figure out how much additional smut she should write today before she has to go be an adult and clean and make her living space somewhat presentable. Disgusting.

Notes on my current projects under the break...

Chapter [spoiler] of the AU is ~6k but not necessarily finished. I may go back to add more smut, or add more build up, or add more aftermath. I like the ending it currently has, but we'll see.

Chapter [spoiler+1] of the AU is still way, way early in the drafting stage, but the fic as a whole is edging towards "comfortable to start posting" in terms of buffer chapters! This is so that I can write the AU while ALSO writing one-shots whenever I feel like it. I have an important thematic thread to weave in here, so this one will likely take a bit longer to get through.

On the modern AU front, and a sillier note, I have the first "Metal Shadowheart, but She's Secretly a Big Softie who Listens to Softly Sung Singer-Songwriter Music" playlist pretty much finalized. If I decide to keep doing these, the genres will evolve to reflect the AU. It's a stupid idea, but I love stupid ideas.

An Asheera/Shadowheart adventure-y, "wow you look hot after fighting" "no u" battlewives, explicit as all hell fic is at like 8k because I had to put in some emotional hurt/comfort at the end after all the violence and gratuitous amounts of oral sex. It might get even longer because I want more build, more sex, more fighting, and more aftermath. This thing could hit 10k, I really don't know with how it's turning out lmao. Needs an editing pass and whatever the fuck expansions I make to it.

The sequel to Burning Hands is written but I think it needs some tweaking before I post it. Roughly 3k in length. Maybe Karlach will finally get what she wanted? This could use some light expansion, and I know it needs line editing + more well-watered prose. Once that's fleshed out, it'll be ready to post (next week?)

Another Minthara/Lae'zel in the vein of "Minthara doms Lae'zel into the fucking dirt" is in the ideation phase. I have the general A to B to C planned out, but no writing is there yet. Won't be done for some time, sadly.

Nocturne/Shadowheart in the extreme early works. Like, basically it's just me trying to figure out how I want to write Nocturne in smut. Do I even make it graphic? This one won't be out for a while, for sure.

Word count progress for the week: 17, 663

Haven't been able to do much reading. I still need to finish Blood Bride by @raedmagdon and I'm always on my quest to sort Shadowheart/Female Character fics by no-comments and read all of those.

[optiwashere]

Saturday Mind Soup + Random Fandom Ravings

Not a new music kinda day for me. Instead, I'm about to get ready to do sadly normal adult things instead of writing.

But!

I did write over the course of the week. Here's what I've been working on the past few days. I also have a question at the end that I'd love to hear your answer to, just out of sheer curiosity.

I can now just fucking call it Nightsongs lmao. I edited down two of the chapters (they were legitimately bloated) but also bulked up the second chapter a bit, so six of one half-dozen of the other.

Chapter [redacted+1] is still in the works, but I have enough buffer time to work on it that I'm not worried. It's just... a lot, emotionally.

Wrote some silly rat fluff that, of course, turned into a fic about comfort in its own way. I am far too obvious.

I'm writing a second chapter for Blades in the Night because I like the idea too much to let it sit. It's going to sit in a sorta... "complete, but open for more" status basically forever at this rate. Also, it's an excuse for smut.

Everything else has been kinda blahhhhh in my head. I have a couple ideas that I rattle around, but nothing sticks on the page. It all ends up being unreadable gunk. This annoys me because I want to write these ideas, but I get a strange block about them.

Since the rant got longer than I expected, my question was: If you read other Shadowheart/OC writers, who are your favorites? I could use the recs, because I feel like I know a handful and that's all.

I think the last bullet of my working on list is related to the "era" of fandom we're in. The fandom hype is slowing down, at least the non-Astarion fandom. Additionally, people's headcanons are starting to solidify and fanon is coalescing around... something? I really don't know what, and it's weird being completely in the dark about it.

Either way, I find myself in that space where I'm suddenly and weirdly discomfited by it all. I worry about my characterization more than usual and dedicate less time to writing than I want to because of it.

To add onto that surreal feeling, there's the realization that I don't really... know anyone in the Shadowheart/OC sphere. Is it even a corner of fandom that exists? Are there "big" Shadowheart/OC writers? There's a fair amount of fanart, but the "big" fanartists have chosen their corners which is going to cause a certain element to form around them that will be interesting to see in the future.

I could name a few writers in my general corner whose fics are very popular, but I never hear from them or see them around. I have to assume they're not very active elsewhere. IDK, it's all so bizarre and makes the fairly popular category of Shadowheart/OC feel empty. I forgot how hollow fandom spaces feel when you ignore the corner that overshadows everything else.

Every week or so, I try to find writers whose works aren't getting a ton of comments/reach and read them, commenting on the ones that I enjoy. I'm always hopeful that I'll find a rapport with those people, but it doesn't always work out that way. There's a couple people here that I know follow me from those sorts of comments, so feel free to say hello! This is mostly a weird rant.

The feelings will pass. They always do. In the moment, however, they cause blocks that don't need to be there.