#rotating them in my mind so hard rn

[dailygihun]

day 12 || underrated trio in my humble opinion (just lineart under the cut cuz im stuck on which to post)

[ike-mcswains-mortician]

and what if i said this song is close family-coded. what then.

[collegeoflore]

rotating Scenarios in my mind but have no ability to actually write them. truly evil

[hwaslayer]

wildfire (cs) | twelve.

—spotify playlist | series masterlist

—summary: assistant professor in bioengineering, incredibly attractive, lonely and divorced; that’s how most people describe san. but despite the events that have happened in his life, san has a lot going for himself. he’s a successful, sought out professor due to his brilliant contributions to science at just an early age of 32. he worked hard to get where he was now; head deep into his research, his publications, building his lab and creating a name for himself. everything was good and smooth sailing— until it wasn’t. because when he meets you, a bioengineering grad student interested in rotating in his lab, he finds himself ready to risk all the blood, sweat and tears he put in throughout the years just to keep you close— his need for you spiraling out of control like a wildfire.

—pairing: asst. professor!choi san x grad student!f. reader

—genre: (18+ - minors dni) strangers to lovers, grad school au | fluff, angst, smut

—word count: 4.8k

—chapter content/warnings: cussing, lotsa talk goin around, mostly focused on namjoon lol, i'ma tell yall rn - cant trust nobody!!, everyone is just onto san x oc but for the wrong asssss reasons, joon loves his 'yes or no' questions lmao, again - i promise you there is no ill intentions behind namjoon's actions - he is trying to see both sides but he has to do what he needs to do as a department chair first & foremost!! pls understand my guy.. he had to think quick!

Today, it feels like everyone is staring at you.

Today, it feels like everyone knows, and everyone is projecting their assumptions about you and San out into the world.

"You okay?" Eunchae looks down at you as you walk and avoid contact, keeping your eyes down on your feet below or your phone. "You're awfully quiet today." Maybe word hasn't gotten to Eunchae, Jurin or Felix yet, but you know it'll eventually make its way over.

Or, maybe they have heard and they're just waiting for you.

All you know is that you wanna hide under your blankets to prevent all this overthinking, this anxiety from feeling like everyone is watching you.

"Yeah. Just tired."

"You sure? I'm all ears, you know."

"Mhm." You give her a small reassuring smile as you tug on your bag. "Thank you."

"Course."

"Have you heard from Jiung today?" You ask. You haven't really talked to Jiung since your fight at the happy hour event, and he hasn't done much to talk to you either. It's a bit awkward, but whenever you and your friends are all together, you try to keep the peace and act like nothing is wrong. You do hope he's okay, and you do hope to have your bestfriend back— but you're still upset at the fact that he jumped to conclusions about San and accused him of forcing you into this.

"No. But, he did say he probably wasn't gonna grab lunch cause he needs to take care of some things."

"I see."

"I'll see you for lunch though, right?" You nod, just as the Biology building comes into view. "Goodluck with class today." 

"Thanks." You squeeze her hand before heading inside for class. Luckily, Yunho said he wouldn't be able to join class today. You weren't really in the mood to deal with him, and you're more so worried about getting through class in one piece before your mind tears you apart with all this overthinking. 

"Morning Y/N!" A student already sitting in the classroom says. You're instantly comforted as you greet them back and start getting set up at the front of the classroom. But, that instantly goes down the drain when two more students walk in together— eyeing you as they pass the front table before talking amongst each other.

Fuck.

You haven't heard from San either.

The world truly felt like it was swallowing you whole.

—FLASHBACK

"Hey! I'm back." You smile at Sunwoo as you place your things down at your desk. It instantly fades when you get a chance to look around the basement office, a few of your lab members talking amongst themselves while looking in your direction. You slightly furrow your brows, wondering what exactly they were talking about or why they felt the need to be doing all of that in your face.

Was everyone in on you and San?

Is this what everything has come to?

"Hey you!" Sunwoo looks up, noticing the shift in your mood. He turns to look at everyone, shaking his head before returning his attention towards you. At this point, everyone has returned to their desks or left the room to head into the behavior or wet lab rooms. "You good?"

"Hm." You hum. "I guess."

"You guess? How was the conference?"

"Good! It was chill. Jotted down a few presentations I wanted to share with you and Belle. Is she around?" He shakes his head.

"Haven't seen her."

"Hm, okay."

"You can tell me, I'm all ears." You look at your watch.

"I gotta run behavior soon."

"So, let's grab something quick to eat before you run behavior?"

"I'm down. Kinda starving anyway."

"Yeah, let's get something in you. You won't be able to focus otherwise." He stands and stretches before nodding towards the door. "So, what was the most interesting?" You follow behind him with your wallet clutched in hand, lingering eyes watching as you leave with Sunwoo.

"Maybe she's trying to get around the lab?" You overhear one of the guys say just as you walk out of the room with Sunwoo, pausing in your steps.

"Sunwoo."

"Huh?"

"Actually, you know what. I think I can hang on until dinner. I should get started on behavior. We can talk about this another time."

"Huh? No, let's get something really quick."

"You can go ahead without me. Sorry. I just realized I'm more strapped on time than I thought I was."

"Okay? But, I'm grabbing you a snack and you better eat it." He slowly starts walking backwards down the basement hallway, glaring at you.

"Thank you." Sunwoo watches as your head falls when you walk back into the basement office. Truth be told, he's been hearing the talk go around, but he's not one to meddle— especially if it has something to do with his good friends. He'll always be on your side, regardless of what people say or think.

And he feels awful it's starting to be more obvious around you. The talk. The looks.

He wishes he could do more as your friend to help keep it away from you.

—END

Namjoon is already having a rough start to his day despite it being one of the lighter days meeting-wise. He was woken up to an urgent, sensitive email from the dean about an anonymous tip that came in overnight about San:

Namjoon— Please get to the bottom of this; we received this tip last night about San and his student.  'Hi. I'm not sure who to direct this concern to anonymously, but I believe Y/N Y/L/N and Professor Choi (San) are in an inappropriate relationship. I think she might be using it to her advantage to move forward in the program and secure her spot in his lab.' I'd like to resolve this before the end of the week. This should not be taken lightly if this is true...

And the thing is— he's just frustrated that this has been taking up this time lately. He hasn't even gotten his own time to think properly. He could only sigh in disappointment as he got ready for his day, unsure of what else it could bring him. 

He should've known the storm was coming.

Iseul tugs on her jacket as she heads over to the Panama Building, the wind cooling her cheeks as she made sure to clear her hour for this particular meeting. Most students are in class right now, so the halls are quiet, still. Iseul takes the elevator up to the second floor and steps out, rushing down towards the left end of the hall.

"Namjoon." Namjoon turns over his shoulder to see Iseul. His door is wide open since he doesn't have any important meetings for awhile, and he always tries to foster a welcoming environment by letting students [and faculty] know they're always welcome to pop in if they need him.

He did not mean her though, especially today.

"Iseul."

"Can we talk?" Namjoon quickly sizes her, realizing she's already inside his office. He doesn't necessarily have a choice, but he knows this talk was gonna happen sooner or later.

He knows Iseul always has something to say.

"You're already in my office so I don't think there's necessarily a choice." He says it in a slightly playful manner just so he doesn't come off entirely rude. "What's on your mind?" Iseul shuts the door and crosses her arms before looking at him. Namjoon sits on the edge of his desk, hands loosely clasped together.

"I think you might already know." He shrugs.

"Enlighten me."

"San."

"What about him?"

"Can you let him know how dangerous it is to be dating his rotation student? He's being stupid."

"He's a grown man."

"And you're the chair."

"Thanks for the reminder." He furrows his brows. "Respectfully Iseul, this is not a discussion for you, that's why I'm not trying to indulge."

"How is this not? He's putting his reputation on the line, along with the school's. Including yours—"

"I don't see where you're involved. You don't have anything to do with him directly or the bioengineering department." He crosses his arms and stands. "I appreciate you bringing this to my attention, but this wasn't your place to do so. I'll handle it and I'll take care of it, so you don't need to worry." Namjoon glares at her a bit. 

"You're being so casual about something pretty severe." Namjoon pauses as he maintains his eye contact with her. She wants him to shrink and fold, but he won't.

"I think we both know that's not the reason why you're bringing this up." Her brows are knit tightly as they sit in an awkward, tense pause. "Aren't you tired of treating San this way? Why exactly do you feel so strongly about calling him out?"

"I'm not even doing anything to him—"

"You're right, you're not. You don't respect him, you don't acknowledge him, you don't know how to be civil with him. Yet, you don't see me calling you out on your behavior towards your ex-husband who has done nothing but try and keep the peace. I only ever hear San's name come out of your mouth when you've got something bad to say about him." She glares at him. As much as Namjoon equally tries to be there for all of the faculty and to not choose sides, one thing that can surely piss him off is when people act this way unwarranted.

So no, he won't sit back if he feels the hostility. He understands the severity of the situation and he has yet to gather his thoughts and his information, but he won't take this.

"So, you're gonna let this go? Do you even actually understand the situation, Namjoon? If you won't take care of it, I'll have no choice but to escalate this to the dean."

"I do, plenty. You don't have to tell me twice or how to do my job, Iseul." He walks over to the door. "I already said I'll take care of it. On my own terms and in my own way. Not the way you want me to." He places a hand on his hip. "And what makes you think we haven't already discussed this?"

"Fine. If that girl ruins everything for the school—"

"She won't." Namjoon cuts her off just as he swings the door open. "This will be taken care of, end of story. Is there anything else I can help you with that doesn't involve San and his personal matters?"

"No." She huffs a bit before walking out of the room. At this point, Jiung is cutting the corner and almost running into Iseul as he makes his way to Namjoon's office. Jiung does a curt bow to Iseul as she storms by, heels clicking away on the linoleum floor. Her feet are heavy, Jiung feels every step even as she gets further and further away.

"Oh, Jiung. Nice to see a friendly face." Namjoon lets out a breath and gives him a toothless smile. 

"Professor Kim." Jiung gives him a bow. "Are you free right now?"

"Mhm." He steps aside. "Just finished with Professor Lee. Come on in." He welcomes him inside, a bit relieved to see his face and to be welcomed by his gentle aura. It's nothing like Iseul and he's grateful; although, it does make him a little nervous to see Jiung in his office when he doesn't necessarily belong to the department. 

And just like Iseul, the buzz around campus, everything that's been going down— Namjoon already feels like he knows what this is about.

The only thing he can do is confront it and take care of it just like he told Iseul he'd do. But, how? He's not sure. He's gonna have to take the time today to sit San down and poke at his brain because he's just not understanding how all of this went down and why his name and your name are being tossed around together.

Maybe he just didn't wanna believe it was true; not with San, no. He couldn't. Both as his friend and colleague.

"What can I help with? I'm a little surprised you're popping into my office since you're in the electrical engineering department."

"Ah, cause.." Jiung slowly sits in the chair and sets his bag down. "It doesn't necessarily have anything to do with me." Namjoon cocks his head to the side.

"Okay, no worries. I'm all ears."

"I-I don't really know how to say this, but I'm mainly concerned about a friend. She's in the bioengineering department."

"I think I might know what you're talking about." Namjoon says, giving Jiung a nod to proceed with his explanation.

"Yeah, it's that. I feel like Professor Choi might have forced her into it, though. It just seems really out of character for Y/N, and I don't know. I guess it just feels like he might have said something or tried to take advantage of her."

"I understand your concern for your friend, but can you let me know why you think Professor Choi is taking advantage of her or forcing her into this?"

"I just.. it just seems off, is all."

"But, what if this is also Y/N's choice?"

"It's not like her."

"I'm not saying you don't know your friend, Jiung. But, there are things people are fully capable of doing that can come off as unexpected from your point of view."

"I talked to her after the whole happy hour thing went down and I found Professor Choi kinda cornering her against the wall. She didn't look scared or anything, but she did get defensive while I was talking to her and asking her about it."

"I see." Is all Namjoon says because one, he just doesn't know. Just like he told Jiung, there are probably things he doesn't know San is capable of doing. He needs to talk to him and that's the only way he'll get the proper story. The only way to get to the bottom of it is finally confronting San about the issue at hand. 

Face to face.

To be honest, he's been putting off the conversation because it's not a conversation he wants to have. It's not easy, nor will the decision at the end be something he wants to do— but he has to.

"I'm sorry, Professor Kim. I don't mean to add to your plate, but I got worried."

"Is Y/N doing okay otherwise?" He nods.

"Think so. She hasn't been saying much. We got into a fight after I confronted her so we haven't been talking."

"Sorry to hear that. I'm sure things will smooth over sooner or later." Namjoon says. "Is there anything else you'd like to let me know?"

"No, that's all. I'm sorry I don't have much details, I'm just worried about her."

"All good, I understand. I'm sure she appreciates it, too. She's lucky to have a friend like you by her side."

"Thanks, Professor Kim. For hearing me out."

"Sure. I'll take care of it and see what I can do, okay?" Jiung nods and stands, slipping his bag strap over his shoulder.

"Can we keep this between us? Please don't mention that I stopped by."

"Of course." Namjoon says softly as he stands to walk him to the dior. "Of course." He repeats.

"Thanks."

"I just can't promise you I'll have any updates cause it'll be pretty confidential moving forward."

"It's fine. I get it." Jiung stops right before he steps out the door. "Thank you again."

"No problem. You know how to reach me if you have any other concerns." Jiung nods before slipping through the door and taking his exit. Namjoon exhales heavily before pulling out his phone to text the person he needs—

namjoon: can we talk in my office? i'd rather much do this today, not later. 

namjoon: i'm free for the next hour and half.

san: yeah. i'll be there in 15 minutes.

namjoon: thanks.

He sighs again, pinching the bridge of his nose as he tries to gather his thoughts. It's the hardest thing to approach this as a colleague rather than a friend because as a friend, Namjoon would let this go. He knows San deserves to be happy, and it sounds like he is. That's all he's ever wanted for him especially after all the hurt and pain he had gone through with Iseul and Yunho. But as a colleague, his 'higher-up' even, it's wrong. San's happiness is wrong because it's with his student. A student who is a grown adult who can make decisions for themselves. It's wrong.

So, what does he do?

He feels a migraine coming on, so he tries to busy himself with some emails, making sure deadlines and reports have been submitted. Luckily, the dean is giving him some time and isn't pressing him for answers right this second even though he knows it's on his mind. If he was, Namjoon wasn't sure what he'd say.

He's not sure how he'll get San out of this.

"Yo." San appears in his office, softly shutting the door behind him. 

"Take a seat." San immediately picks up on the vibe in the room and how stressed Namjoon looks. He knows they still need to talk about things, but something tells San it's become much deeper than that and he's not prepared for it whatsoever. No matter how hard he tried to prepare, there's no proper way to be fully prepared.

"You okay?"

"Honestly, I don't know." He sits back a bit, hands clasped on the surface of the table. "But, I'm just gonna get right to it because I think this is way overdue."

"Okay." San manages to respond softly.

"We need to talk about what happened at the happy hour event the other day, plus that whole thing with Iseul and Yunho." Namjoon pauses before he cuts to the chase. "San, why do I keep getting wind of you being in a relationship with your rotation student?" Silence. "Y/N, to be exact." He looks at him. "Is that what the whole happy hour thing was about? Is that what you three were discussing in the conference room yesterday?" He sighs. "I was try to push this off a little longer until I could figure out how to get you out of this, but word keeps going around and it definitely didn't help that you three had a screaming match about it." San sighs heavily as he sinks into the chair.

"Well, as far as I know, I wasn't planning on discussing my personal matters with Yunho and Iseul. They trapped me into the fucking—"

"San." Namjoon stops him. "Is it a yes or no?" Pause. San just looks at Namjoon and it's enough for him to put the final piece together. Everything had been about you from the get-go, but San still won't say it. He's doing everything to protect you, but this might be it; there's no way he can lie to Namjoon about this, or hide this from him any longer.

It's far too late for that.

"San." He repeats. "This is not the time to try and lie to me. I had two people talk to me about it and an anonymous tip came in that was sent my way."

"Who?"

"It doesn't matter." Namjoon furrows his brows and lets out a heavy exhale. "I need the truth from you. Now." The exasperated sigh that leaves San's lips is full of emotions; fear, anxiety, protectiveness, even.

"I'm sorry." Is all San can respond with. It comes out low, barely above a whisper.

"Why?" Namjoon cocks his head to the side, hands on his hips. "Why? I just wanna know why!" His voice is harsh, but he keeps his tone low. "A student, your student? It's damn near everywhere, you know that, right? I don't know how I'm gonna fix this for you, but you know they'll take action against her and probably you—"

"Namjoon, please." San pleads. "Please don't do this to her. Don't take her out of the program. Do whatever you need to me, but don't take it out on her."

"San." Namjoon pinches the bridge of his nose before letting out an exasperated sigh. "You should've known better." He looks at him, but San can't even respond. All he can do is shrug and shake his head because he did know better, he just didn't wanna do better and chose to be selfish. "I need to figure this out before end of the day and report back to the dean. I can't force you to act a certain way or do things you don't wanna do. But, for this reason in particular, I'm gonna need you two to stop. You're not interacting with her on campus, you're not going to be involved in anything having to do with her moving forward." Namjoon shakes his head. "You both couldn't wait until graduation or something? I know it's years ahead but you know how this looks—"

"I— no. Things just happened. That's really the only way I can explain it. I'm sorry. The hell am I supposed to do? I can't help but feel how I feel for her." Namjoon sighs heavily, feeling torn between wanting his friend to be happy, but concerned and disappointed for his colleague.

"That isn't gonna fly. You knew better than to get involved with a student in your lab. You can't just risk everything you've built for yourself, San. You have no idea how much trouble you could get into if the school finds out just exactly how deep your relationship has gotten with her— let alone, your own rotation student!" His tone slight rises, but it falls when he sees San visibly shrink and lose eye contact with him. He paces around for a bit, hands still on his hips as he tries to figure out a way to brush this over before it gets way too messy and complicated. "I get you. I do. You deserve to be happy, and who the hell am I to police your actions? But, I can't have you do this to yourself or her. The both of you are grown so I expected you to do better."

"So, what's gonna happen?"

"Well, I'll need to let them know this isn't true and that you two aren't in a relationship. I'll have to remove her from your lab and I'll need to figure out where I can place her or what I can do for her." 

"They won't kick her out, right?"

"Honestly, I can't even be sure. I don't think so, but you two will definitely not be allowed to be near or around each other." Namjoon looks at him. "Are you not even worried about yourself?"

"No, I'm not."

"She's worth it to you?"

"More than anything." San says softly. "Look, it's cliché but you really don't understand." Namjoon shrugs.

"Maybe I do, maybe I don't. I don't wanna take your happiness away, San. Believe me. That's the last thing I wanna do and this is already difficult as is. But, it just had to be her?"

"It did, yeah. And there's nothing I regret about it." Another small silence falls between them before Joon speaks up again.

"Do you get where people are taking this?"

"No, quite frankly, I don't."

"Favoritism, like you two are taking advantage of each other for benefits. It's becoming so noticeable that people are talking."

"You and I both know how great of a student she is. If she's received opportunities, it's because she earned them herself, not because of me."

"That's not how it looks. And perception matters. You know this. Relationships like this are literally a ticking time bomb for your career, the bioengineering department." He's gonna use the excuse that Iseul pulled because for him, as department chair, as someone who needs to keep the glue together for this department, it's true. 

"I don't even see how we're doing anything wrong when we're both adults. She and I both know what this is—"

"That doesn't matter in this situation. There's a power dynamic here you can't ignore. Even if this is real, you hold her future in your hands. Do you understand?" Joon exhales, brows tightly knit together. "What about her fate in this whole situation? Do you care about that?"

"Of course I do. I care about her more than anything." San responds almost exasperatedly.

"Do you love her?"

"If I say yes?"

"Then, tell me. If you had to choose between your relationship or keeping her here, then what?" San sighs and runs his hand down his face. "Think about it. You deserve to be happy, but that girl also deserves a chance to keep going."

"Why can't we just keep it on the low, why do I have to choose? W-we can be more careful—"

"San, don't be stupid. I'm sure 'being careful' is how this all started, right?" Silence. "You know people are going to find out one way or another. It won't matter how real this is to you, to the both of you. She'll be branded as the professor's pet. Is that what you want for her? And you'll lose everything—your job, your reputation, ability to work at other institutions. Plus, the dean is still thinking about your program with Jongho and the real estate. This is going to trickle onto Jongho, too."

"No, of course not. And I don't want Jongho to take a fall because of me. But.." San sighs, his heart breaking the more this conversation goes on. He wasn't prepared to be here today, no. And he wasn't prepared for his mind to start thinking otherwise about your relationship, you. He was always sure of you, but now he's starting to feel like he's been too selfish;

Neglected you and your future plans. Your dreams, your goals.

"You're asking me to break this off. To break off my relationship with someone I truly care about and someone that genuinely makes me happy. Something I haven't felt in a long time."

"I'm sorry, San. I already told you how difficult this is, and it's not my intention to take your happiness away. I just need to protect you two from everyone, especially the dean. Please understand me and hear me. I'm asking you to protect her this way. If anything happens, it'll be the both of you going down and you know she doesn't deserve that either. "

"And If I don't do this?" San asks just to put the question out there.

"Then, can you call it love? Or is it just you being selfish?" San leans onto his knees, head falling into his hands. "I'm trying to come from a good place. Help me help you." He feels a headache coming on, thoughts running at a thousand miles per hour. He hates the thought of losing you; it makes him sick to his stomach. But, he can't even lie and say there isn't a piece of truth behind Namjoon's words. 

Can San really say he loves you if he isn't doing the right thing for you? Is he being too selfish, assuming he could keep this on the low? Assuming he could be 'more' careful with you?

Is he selfish for wanting you by his side no matter what? Is he selfish for saying fuck it?

Is he selfish?

The last thing he wants to do is ruin your career, ruin you. Even if this will hurt like hell, he understands where Namjoon is coming from and knows he needs to put you first.

He's so conflicted. He has no idea what to do or how to move forward. Because as much as he knows he needs to do this for you and the sake of Namjoon, he doesn't want to.

He is scared.

"I need to head back to my office." San sighs and stands, but Namjoon follows closely.

"I don't have much time. I need to let them know that something is gonna be done and I need to prove it to them. You do hear me, right?"

"I do. I just.. give me a little bit of time to think, Joon. Please." Namjoon just nods, meeting San's expression. He feels bad, he really does. And as his friend, this isn't something he wants to do— but he has to. He could easily tell San to keep this on the low, to keep this a secret until things blow over but at some point, he doesn't trust himself to continue along with the story had anyone asked about it out of the blue.

Namjoon watches as San sadly walks off back to his office, eyes trained on the phone in his hand. San sees your texts, and usually, that'll be enough to put a smile on his face. He'll text back right away so you know he's been thinking about you; but today, he's thinking about you in a different light and he's not sure how to stomach it.

When he gets back to his office, he sees a few people from the lab lingering around— even you. You meet his eyes and his eyes meet yours, but he doesn't give you a smile.

His eyes don't glow like they used to.

His cheeks aren't threatening to glow that cute, rosy tint they do when you're around.

He just steps in without doing anything to acknowledge your presence and that already feels way off.

you: 😞 you didn't even look my way when you walked back into the office and i haven't heard from you all day.

you: i hate how all my papers and presentations are due this week. plus ppl have been weird, idk. i just wanna cuddle 😭

san: i'm sorry. it's just been a day.

you: that's never stopped you before... ☹️ what's wrong, san?

san: we should talk, baby.

—read 12.5 here

—taglist: @asjkdk @interweab @woojirang @svintsandghosts @cheolliehugs @persphonesorchid @mxnsxngie @jycas @cowboydk @vcutparis @chngbnwf @struggling101 @sanhwalvr @angelqueendom @barbielibra @brown88 @choisansplushie @yunhoswrldddd @hyukssunflower @vickykazuya @lucid-galaxys-world @jaytheatiny @pommelex @thechaotictheoryy @vixensss @santineez @nopension @domfikeluva @in-somnias-world @my-atiny-kookie-rkive @mountiiny @naoristerling @onmymymyway @thecutiepieme @wyrated

[dpspcehntr]

Hello 🤗 I have a question that has crossed my mind from time to time and I would like your (and maybe your followers) opinion on this, if you don't mind.

Thinking realistically, rather than with a romantic notion, do you think the LaDs men have had much, if any, sexual experience that hasn't been with MC?

Would God of the Tides have concubines brought to him, or gone on dates as a land lubber? Or do you think his bond with MC would prevent him from 'engaging' with anyone else?

Did Xavier date anyone before MC joined the guardians (I don't know the name I forget lol)?

I don't know anything about Sylus

Would Zayne have had a prom date or a girlfriend before he met with the current timeline MC? I know he says we are his only experience, but does that include just kissing someone?

I’M SO GLAD YOU ASKED!! One, I have also been rotating this around in my brain for quite some time and how I feel very lightly colors how I write for them! I haven't read much (if any at all) of the myths so I will just be looking at the present. I love thinking about this cause tbh sometimes the characterizations in game are not as full as I would like. I won’t keep this long but if you want more detail I’m happy to add to this post! Anyway! Here are my thoughts!

Rafayel is literally the reason I had this thought in the first place. I thought it was so silly to think that he as a rich artsy boy had never ONCE hooked up with someone. He absolutely is a FUCKBOY! I will hear nothing else about it. I can't image he's not when so much of his overall characterization just oozes that kind of energy for me. My exception to this is that I don't think he enjoyed himself very much. Used sex kind of like a numbing thing cause he felt the void of your absence hard. He's not like a community dick kind of fuckboy but he has definitely been passed around a few times, if not as a professional then in art school.

Xavier is another one who I feel has some experience before (re)meeting MC. His experience is alot more clumsy and unsure compared to Rafayel. More of a situation like 'I want to be ready when I find her so I'm going to try it with someone else to be good at it. There may only be one person he's had sex with before MC and it was so bad she just had to leave. When that failed he just turned to erotica and p*rn to fill in the gaps. Eventually getting used to using his own imagination and getting off when needed. So when the time comes he's very prepared and VERY horny.

Sylus is a bit of a hard one because yes absolutely he is having sex with people before meeting MC. His overall vibe very much eludes to the fact that he has lived a life and I'm sure that is included. I don't think he's slinging it out to anyone who asks but he has been in some kind of relationship before. If anything we can say he is very comfortable having sex and has had sex before meeting MC. I have some more thoughts on this but I will keep it there for now!

Zayne from what I know has said that he isn't experienced and we are his first and I believe that. He very much gives full focus on the task at hand kind of man. Definitely not in high school but in med school I image him having a non serious fling with someone just to say he tried. They broke up soon after and he just never tried again until he and MC reconnected. That being said, he is a bit of a perv and has ALOT of pent up energy so once they start they literally don't stop. Like a weekend stuck in an endless loop of sleep, eat, fuck until he's at work desperate for you once again. The problem for him is learning how to control himself now that has MC.

My ask box is open for further conversations on this cause I genuinely love talking about this! Lets keep the conversation going!

[umbrella-show]

hi quick question do you know Steven Universe?? 👁️ Cuz I have been having this idea rotating in my brain for a WHILE now and I wanna share with you lol

Like- Imagine Pearl!Reader, The Reader was once a slave servant/knight of this high ranking person and devoted their entire lives to this one person, but this person fucking died and now they roam around kingdom's and do any missions that might require someone's ability with a sword and/or a little bit of buff magic.

Point is; how do you think any of the beast's or any of the ancients would react to seeing their darling still be devastated over the death of their owner boss even after all these years and feel unable to move on from the pain and resentment at fate for taking them away from their superior.

How would they feel if the reader one day, during an argument over the cookie's safety, they go "Just let me do this for you [Boss]!" (you choose the name I don't have too much creativity juice rn) At the cookie and then they realize what they said and just- run away because they suddenly realised that they went too far and that they need a moment to cool down and apologise for lashing out like that?

This is not exactly a request but more of a "I want to start writing too and I am making my own reader's because I genuinely love this game enough to make crossover au's and OG au's"

I haven’t actually watched Steven Universe so I’m kinda just going off what u said for this 😭🙏

So we have a reader who’s unable to move on from a toxic relationship even after the person is gone. I’ll try to do all of the beasts and ancients for this reaction.

Obviously, Pure Vanilla and White Lily cookie are very understanding. They understand it’s hard to move on from something like this, so they resort to gently coaxing into exploring yourself and being your own person instead of associating so much of yourself to one person. After an argument, they would both let you take your time in cooling down before approaching you to talk to you. Overall, they’re pretty good at helping you move on.

Hollyberry would most likely try to bring you along with her in her adventures (the less dangerous ones of course) to distract you from your boss. She’ll get you to have fun and slowly pull you away from anything that reminds you of your boss. After an argument where you lash out, she’ll of course give you some space, but is more inclined to talk to you sooner than later.

Golden Cheese’s response would be somewhat similar to Hollyberry. Distracting you from anything that reminds of the person by spending time with her. Your mind shouldn’t wander to them while you’re spending time with the queen of greed, now shouldn’t it. She’s greedy for your attention after all. After an argument, like Hollyberry, she would give you time, but is probably wayyy to eager to see you again so she visits you some time after to cheer you up with whatever you want to do.

Dark Cacao would be a little different. He cares for you, he really does, which is why he’s a little more strict with you. He feels he knows somewhat of what you’re going through. He insists that you speak with him about your issues and wants to reassure you that you can be your own person without being tied to this boss of yours. If this ends in an argument, he will be a bit agitated that you don’t see how he’s trying to help you, but lets you go cool down for a bit before speaking with you again.

And now the Beasts! I’m only going to do Mystic Flour cookie, Burning spice cookie, and Shadow Milk Cookie bc Eternal Sugar and Silent Salt aren’t out yet.

Mystic Flour cookie doesn’t care. Honestly, as long as it doesn’t stop you from meditating with her or keeping Cloud Haetae cookie company she doesn’t really need to pry. There would most likely be no argument between you two bc she doesn’t really question you too much about it.

Burning Spice cookie would use your anger to his advantage. He presses you to fight him and use your anger to fuel you to fight harder. In fact, he TRIES to get you upset in order to have a good fight. However, if he sees your not up for a fight, he’ll complain but eventually leave you alone with some fruit and wait for you to cool down enough… so he can get you upset all over again. He mainly uses your anger to his entertaining, yet also claims that this fighting, this training, will help you be stronger mentally and physically so no one can take advantage or you.

Shadow Milk cookie would probably tease you with it. He’s a bit more cruel, maybe creating illusions or shape shifting into your boss to mess with you, and you are rightfully upset in the end after he reveals he was messing with you. He won’t care if you yell at him or if you storm off. He’ll just manipulate you into forgiving him. He sort of aims to replace himself with your boss in your mind. He manipulates you and becomes that boss you depend so heavily on and care so deeply about. While most of this is for his advantage against Pure Vanilla cookie in having you on his side, and you stroke his ego, there is a small ity ity bitty little place in his cold, dead heart that genuinely grows to care for you due to your unwavering loyalty to him that makes you stick around no matter what.

Hopefully this is good for u anon. Thanks for the ask!

[hungry-skeleton]

Anything you'd like to loudly info-dump about RN?

I do think Skylanders can make a comeback someday but it's business model will absolutely have to change. A thing I hear a lot in talks about a skylanders revival is doing away with the figures entirely but like??? That's a staple of the franchise?? That's why it's so cool?? Half the appeal of skylanders is getting cool figures that double as playable characters like what are you on??

This is just me daydreaming of a world free of capitalism but a made to order business model would probably be the best way to go about a future game in terms of convenience for the consumer. All skylanders are available for purchase at all times and they'll just produce what you order. I understand that's just more difficult for them then releasing in waves but not only will it kill scalpers they'll probably get more regular buyers that way + they can still create demand by having limited time deals and variants to order too. Idk I'm not business smart

I think about my dream skylander game a lot, it is huge in scope and completely unreasonable to expect but what's the point of dreaming if you don't want the impossible right? Lmao. I think everyone can agree an open world skylander game would fuck hard, I'd like to be able to explore past levels in it too. An idea I had that could expand skylanders with less development would be to give every skylander their own special level with a plot relevant to their backstory. Again, I'm just dreaming the impossible but it's a start I think, I feel bad thinking about how many skylanders only have their flat back story and voice lines to go off of for personality.

ANOTHER thing I had in mind for a while was a better premise for a skylanders series. I know there's a lot of Academy fans here n I love y'all sm there are aspects of Academy that I enjoy but oiughhh *said sitting upon a throne with a golden crown* I could do better.

I'm just gonna be real netflix's generic kids 3d animation style for many of their shows makes me wanna pull my teeth out I hate ittt it's so safe and bland and the movement has no life or character at all. I know I'm biased but a 2d skylanders cartoon would be so niceee. Plus the premise of Academy is like... Okay.. But skylanders was MADE for an anthology series like come onn. The appeal of skylanders is the variety of characters! I want a rotating cast! I want to see different dynamics and day to day lives every episode!! And this is just a personal gripe but I'd like it to be closer to the game canon, Academy being its own canon is fine and understandable but some of its choices are so odd

Erm yeah that's a rant about a version of the Skylanders franchise that will never exist I hope that counts lmaoo I just like daydreaming about stuff I know will never happen leave me be

[sunnydr0pp]

Started really enjoying red devil duo because of u,, I need to know all your hcs.for them pleaseeeeee

I have one for u that idk if you've already pondered yet but I've been thinking really hard about that cocaine and wine lyric from VoaC. The Thought is still forminf but something something nightmare blunt rotation in hell. They're each other's trip sitters and they are so bad at it

giggles and kicks my feet . another victim to my bullshittery /j

they are absolutely each others trip sitters . and by that i mean one of them goes to get stoned and then the other also ends up getting stoned so now everyone is high </3

in terms of my hcs i have the memory of a fucking goldfish and cant even remember half of my ideas but lets see what i got.. (under cut bc i yapped)

sometimes they subconsciously wrap their tails around each other if theyre close enough to each other . like holding hands but not

this isnt red devil duo exactly but i do not think heart and mind would be very fond of luci at first, especially mind

souls tolerance for weed is basically the lowest someone could get (like 5mg edible and he is knocked out) while luci could probably take 100mg+ casually and be semi functioning

that being said, soul prefers edibles while luci prefers taking hits off a bong

they write songs abt each other you cannot convince me otherwise (whether it be romantic or angst or whatever . im looking at you The U & I In Suicide)

i think they could be in denial about liking each other but for different reasons

- luci would probably be in denial bc some form of commitment issues . personally do not see him as the type to rlly have ever been in an actual relationship before

- soul would be in denial mainly bc hed rather keep luci at a distance due to the whole being in a loop thing and probably bc is his mental issues (as if luci wasnt equally is ill). also i think hed lowkey wanna keep luci away from heart and mind for awhile

heart and mind can see through soul so easily though and they tease him about luci every time the two even look at each other

constant flirt x easily flustered / not use to compliments ? absolutely

stealing this from a friend but their horns usually end up getting caught in each other when they kiss or smth

this is all i got rn but maybe ill come back with more later

[peachdues]

PHANTASMAGORIA

NSFW CUT SCENE

A/N: enjoy this cut smut scene from Phantasmagoria (Part III) (post-kitchen make-up).

I apologize that I don’t have new fics/requests ready, but I hope y’all are okay with me dropping some unreleased drafts I have saved on my phone

If you’ve sent in a request for the 2K event, please know I’m not ignoring you! I’m just exhausted and slammed at work rn and I don’t have the mental capacity to write something new at the moment. It’s 7:30 PM my time, and I JUST got home after having been in the office since 6 this morning. Bear with me!

CW: 18+ • MDNI • explicit sexual content • 69’ing

READ ALL THREE PARTS OF PHANTASMAGORIA HERE (COMPLETED).

Y/N tried so hard to remain upright as she bucked against his face, but the sensation became too much, and she found herself falling back against his legs.

Sanemi didn’t seem to mind, his arms remaining tightly locked around her lower hips as he continued to rock his face against her core, her thighs shuddering around his head at the scrape of his stubbled jaw against her heated flesh. 

She turned her head and was surprised at how close Sanemi’s cock was to her face, standing thick and tall as it bounced proudly against his abdomen with every flex of his stomach muscles and thighs as he continued to eat her out like she was his final meal. 

Y/N’s lips went dry as her eyes took in the leaking, red tip of him, so demanding and eager, and yet he’d been utterly content to ignore his own need in favor of satisfying her own. 

She struggled against his iron-like grip on her hips, trying desperately to turn so she could take him fully into her mouth, but he was too lost in her cunt to realize she didn’t want to get away; she wanted him, wanted to pleasure him just as much as he insisted on pleasing her. 

“Sanemi,” she whined, trying to turn once more, but his arms only tightened around her, a growl of warning reverberating from his chest. 

Desperate, Y/N leaned as close to his aching cock as she could and stuck her tongue out, just managing to graze the side of it before she had to pull away.

It was enough. At the first caress of her wet tongue against him, she felt Sanemi freeze beneath her, his tongue momentarily pausing mid-thrust into her core as he realized what she was trying to do. 

The grip around her hips loosened enough so she could turn, and Y/N rotated herself, though Sanemi’s head remained poised between her thighs. 

At the first brush of her lips against his angry, leaking tip, Y/N felt Sanemi tense, his abdomen clenching tight as she dipped down, taking half of his cock into her mouth with a sigh. 

He moaned into her cunt, as her tongue caressed against the side of his shaft, his feet shifting beneath her to plant firmly on the bed as he began to thrust up into her mouth. Y/N’s eyes watered as his tip threatened to hit the back of her throat with every push into her mouth, but she forced herself to remain relaxed, humming as she let her tongue work his shaft, her cheeks hollowing as she gave him another strong suck. 

His arms, wrapped around her lower hips, tightened around her lower hips as Sanemi pressed his face flush against her cunt, groaning, and the vibrations against her tender folds causing her eyes to roll back into her skull. 

The pair licked and sucked at one another, seemingly in competition to see who could make the other cum first. Y/N’s head bobbed faster down Sanemi’s length before she pulled off with a teasing pop! She pumped her hand up and down his cock, heavy and slick with her saliva as she suckled on his tip, pulling back slightly  as Sanemi began trying to sheathe himself back into her mouth, frustrated that she kept evading him.

If she thought she was making him more desperate, she was correct; except, her white-haired lover decided to take such frustration out on her poor cunt. Moving one hand from where it helped keep her hips locked squarely against her face, Sanemi brought his fingers to her lips and spread them wide, his tongue flattening against her and pulsing as he scooped her juices into his greedy mouth. 

Y/N’s cry of pleasure was muffled by a sharp buck of Sanemi’s hips as he thrust his cock back into her mouth, her throat locking as she gagged, though she managed breathe through her nose to avoid pulling back off him. 

Not that she thought Sanemi would let her if she tried — he’d moved one of his broad hands from where it sat at her hip down her back, splaying firmly across her lower shoulders to hold her in place. Given the veracity with which he feasted on her core, Y/N reckoned he wouldn’t have noticed her squirming even if she’d tried. 

Every stroke of his tongue against her made her thighs twitch around his head, and Y/N found it difficult to keep bobbing herself up and down the thick length of Sanemi’s cock, instead holding him in her mouth while she moaned and shuddered against him.

Drooling around him, Y/N managed to move her hand to cup Sanemi’s balls, and she marveled at how full he was as her tongue stroked him. The thought that he would soon be emptying himself inside of her made her thighs clench even tighter in anticipation, even as she whined against him, begging for release.

The scar-speckled man beneath her removed his hand from her back, apparently convinced that she would not try and move off him. Rather than returning to his hold on her hip, Sanemi’s rough, warm fingers replaced his tongue at her entrance, as he slid them into her while his lips and teeth closed around her clit and gave her a harsh suck. 

At the first brush of his fingers against that spongy, roughened patch of flesh deep within her walls, Y/N shattered. 

Her scream was little more than a gurgled groan as her head dropped forward, causing her to take the rest of Sanemi’s cock down her throat. Against the vibrations of her moans and tge sudden way her throat constricted around him, Sanemi suddenly erupted in her mouth, his cum spurting hot and fast down her throat as he groaned deeply into her cunt. 

Y/N shook against him as she rode out the final waves of her pleasure. Finally, Sanemi’s arm around her waist loosened and his head fell back against the bed. A moment later, Y/N pulled her mouth off Sanemi’s length, though he was still hard, and she dropped her head against his thigh as she caught her breath. 

The room was quiet for a moment, disturbed only by the sounds of their soft panting, as both came down from their highs.

After a moment, Sanemi spoke, and Y/N nearly rolled her eyes at the smugness in his tone.

“I win.” 

[sketchthetofu]

I’m dropping my design ideas for Dakota in your ask box in a little gift wrap

Some things that don’t change in my head are the fact he is 100% the shortest out of PD. It’s not even close. Will and Ashe are around the same height, Vynce is the tallest, and then there is Dakota. Everytime I imagine the height difference between Dakot and Vynce it’s like. Comedic. Also freckles. Trust me I’m god.

The things I can never get down are the big things, like clothes- idfk what this guy is wearing 😭😭, that and I’m gonna try and be vague about this cause I can’t remember if my explanation for this headcanon has been shown where you are yet- but I sometimes Head-canon him as half chaos demon. I thinkkkkk you should be at the point where that makes sense but I’m not gonna be specific just in case. Also his fucking hair, have no clue. Not a single idea. I know that it’s probably curly and that’s it.

Dakota is rotating in my mind but idk what he looks like SOBS

YESSS GIVE THEM TO MEEEEE YAYYY!!!! /pos

Oh 100% Dakota is the shortest and it’s not a close race at all my guy is SHORT. I’m actually drawing him giving Vyncent a lift via him on Dakotas shoulders and I’m trying soooo hard to make Vyncent as dangly and tall as I see him in my mind compared to Dakota- we shall see if I can lmao. I also agree with the other heights! I usually see William as second shortest? Still very close in height to Ashe but Ashe is just a biiittt taller. FRECKLES!!! (Tho I’m totally bias I give freckles to every character I can- I blame my friend who hated their freckles which I love that I do this hehehehe)

Honestly that’s legit, I’m always going in-between drawing him fashionable and just wearing a tanktop and basketball shorts XD. I think of him as someone who likes clothing he can move around in! I like the combo of his muscle crop top and his baggy pants, but also he’s a sporty teenager lmao. The main two clothing items I always draw him in and think of him always having is his flannel and bandana, other than those two I change stuff around a bit :). OOOO YESSSSS (I’m on s2 ep18 so idk if I’m missing other things from the chaos demon he ate-) LOVE THE HEAD-CANON OF HIM BEING A BIT DEMONIC!!!! Eating that head-canon up rn- it’s been adopted >:). Your also so real for not having a clue with his hair- that was the main struggle I had trying to draw him bc I couldn’t figure out his hair for the LIFE OF ME… I also think that’s bc I love all of the different designs people have for his hair hehehe, I want to use them all, short, curly, hella curly, shoulder length, kinda straight- all of them are done so well by everyone who has a Dakota design AND I LOVE THEM ALL SO MUCH…. Tho rn I do like the wild kinda straight hair style I’ve been just recently drawing him with :). And I think that’s a characteristic all of the designs have!!! Dakotas hair always looks a bit wild <3.

He looks like my design when rotating in my brain but also everyone else’s designs and just- I love character design and different peoples art styles sooo much wuewuewuewue-

[ohbo-ohno]

You’re soooo right 🫶 god he’d be such a freak & weirdo of a teammate. mirror universe sidney crosby. Maybe he’s not super picky about his gear (he knows he’s good enough to make anything work) but the pregame superstitions,,, my god he’d be right on the ball with those. I’m imagining gaz (who’s also called ghost along as reinforcement) showing up to his place before heading to the arena to keep him from doing anything stupid. and then getting roped into his routine.

I also firmly believe he’d be a MENACE on twitter. He has the blogger’s spirit and absolutely overshares every nasty little detail of his life. Probably also has a poorly-kept-secret burner account.

Anyway. Those tiktok hockey romances have really put me off hockey AUs in general but I’m rotating hockey player soap in my head so hard rn 👁️👁️

also I feel you on working up the nerve to post hrpf lmaooo. I’ve been sitting on a couple works for so long that all the players involved have been traded 😶 (rip my flyers ✌️😔) (congratulations on getting EJ back though!!)

i almoooost said soap would be like sid but tbh they're superstitious in completely different ways in my minds. the one time sid comes out as the more normal person lmaoo

i think gaz attempts to stop soap's superstitions and gets sucks in, but ghost firmly RIPS him from them (physically, he lifts soap and carries him away) and just deals with all the bitching and moaning all night. soap gets into at least one fight and has like 10 pim but he scores a goal and that's enough for ghost to be really condescending and all see? didn't need to do that stupid shit, huh?

gaz, however, gets sucks right in. and he's pissed abt it bc he doesn't even HAVE to do dumb shit like drive over at least three curbs on the way to the arena and fuck up his car, but soap will bite his head off if he doesn't

i think soap follows a toooon of (male and female) porn stars and hockey twt is torn between (1) cancelling him for following like literally hundreds of porn accounts (2) celebrating a queer hockey player.

writing hrpf and then not posting it bc the players got traded is fucking SENDING MEEEE LMFAO like im cracking up right now that is the funniest thing i've ever heard in my LIFE anon. you poor poor soul. but truly rip the flyers, you've lost 90% of you Vibe Guys (can't be too mad bc you gave us back EJJJJJJJJJJ)

[noxxuniverse]

heyy! it’s 🌻anon! sorry i haven’t been on here in awhile, but i have two success stories!

so ive been busy with finals and shit but i decided to affirm that im gonna get 95% or higher on all of them, and we have like seven finals that we’ve had to take throughout the week. ive gotten the results for two. on my literature final i got full marks!! my teacher pulled me aside and told me since my close friend also got full marks, but that was reassuring. i also got a 98% on one religion final out of two (i go to a private school). we just finished them today but bro im excited to see my grades for them 😭😭

(( next one is a huge ass ramble to ill make a TL;DR at the end so you don’t have to read all of it if you don’t want to lmao ))

the second thing i manifested was my desired best friend! this was the one i was really excited for so it was kind of hard to keep my mind off it. so backstory i used to be friends with this guy when i was like reallyyy little im talking early elementary school days. obviously i mean usually you don’t stick with your friends from kindergarten but over the past year ive kind of had more of a liking to him since he’s one of the few people i actually went to elementary, middle, and now high school with. problem is he’s talked with my friend group before but every time he comes it’s like there’s an argument between two of my friends 😭😭

so he rotated at the beginning of the year between my friend group and his og one and i would get really happy once he talked with my friend group for a couple days but then he’d go back to his old one for two weeks. i eventually just developed the mindset that he just doesn’t want to be in our friend group and will only stay for a couple days, so huge mistake #1. this continued for like 2 months until he just completely stopped talking to us until the beginning of this week.

i found out about the manifestation community and i wanted to try to manifest him just to ‘test it out’ and literally the first few times i tried doubts just took over. i was relying on the “3D” but i stopped over consuming (hence why i haven’t been on this for two weeks) and read a few posts that kind of made it click. i tried again last Wednesday and kept affirming and shutting down doubts even on one day when it just felt impossible. on Tuesday, he started talking to us again and we went after school to study for finals together, but he’s still talking with his old group a lot. Wednesday, he talked with us again even though like on Tuesday he’s talking with his old group of friends (they’re really toxic btw, ive heard things from somebody in my friend group that used to be friends with the people he’s close friends with in the outer world rn). Yesterday, talked again and called after school. ik like i described earlier usually before he’d just talk to us for a few days then run off but it feels different now after finding the loa community, like it’s actually working and im so excited ❤️❤️

TLDR;

over the past week ive started manifesting my desired best friend after multiple attempts and the outer world is starting to conform! i want a little more, but i can tell that it’s starting to reflect and im really excited for what’s to come

thanks for listening to my rambling and you’ve helped me a lot through your blog, actually!! hope you have a good rest of your day and ill try and be more active lmaoo

WOO!! LETS GO!! KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK FR <33

I'm glad to have been able to help you as well!!

[i-am-church-the-cat]

After watching 2024 ISU Montreal, Logan as a figure skater has been on my mind for the longest time.

god...aaaa...im rolling on the floor rn, i can't handle it

the years of my life invested in YOI and figure skating aus is unstoppable, i can't hold it back, i must type-ity-type

Logan's father introduced him and Dalton to ice skating through hockey. Even living in Florida, they had been fans of any and every sport. Football was a favorite, of course, as was basketball, baseball, soccer, lacrosse, sailing, surfing, skiing, and golf. High-contact sports were the most compelling to boys of their age, so when they learned that there was a sport where guys slammed into each other with knives on their feet, they had to check it out.

But starting hockey wasn't what made Logan fall in love with the ice. The first time he'd ever skated had been with his mother on a lake by her childhood home back up in Ohio. He'd been so small, stuck to her side like a barnacle, a mama's boy since the beginning.

The smooth glide of his feet across the clear surface was revelatory. The weight of himself was no longer holding him down, gravity was easier to fight on skates instead of shoes. The thin white lines they left behind them were entrancing. Logan never worried about getting lost because he always knew where he'd been.

Hockey was fun but it wasn't what Logan wanted. The ice wasn't made for chipped teeth and blood-soaked spit. Something that was safety and grace, as dangerous as it was beautiful, deserved more respect than that.

There was a kid on the team between his and Dalton's, Lance. He was cool in a weird sort of way and didn't care that Logan never knew when to speak and when to stay silent. They didn't hang out often and they've fallen out of touch since, but it was his fault that Logan became who he was.

Or, more accurately, his sister's.

Chloe wasn't very graceful but she was an artist and she loved the ice. If Logan got to practice early enough, he could watch the tail end of her figure skating practice. Mr. Stroll always rented out the entire rink for Chloe and her private figure skating coach, only the best for his daughter. So a lot of the times it would be just her, dancing on the ice, her coach, shouting critiques over her chosen music, and Logan, sitting lonely and enraptured in the stands.

It took him almost a month of watching Chloe before he got up the nerve to try out some of the things he had seen. The choreography wasn't that hard, though Logan's rhythm wasn't the greatest at nine years old. But the jumps were hard, and the jumps hurt, and he couldn't figure it out.

But something always made him get back up and keep trying. He couldn't stop once he got something stuck in his mind and the leaps and twists of figure skating jumps were stuck like flies in amber.

The first jump he ever landed was a toe loop. Not that he knew what it was called at the time, and he barely finished a whole rotation, but he stayed standing which was better than he had done in the couple weeks he'd been trying any time he could steal some ice time. When Logan had hit the ice, wobbling but not falling, he'd let out a shocked, delighted laugh. Instead of being sated, his fascination with figure skating just wanted more.

"You're a little old to not be landing singles."

Logan whirled around at the unexpected voice. He'd thought he was totally alone, the rink on the edges of closing. But there was Chloe Stroll's figure skating coach, looking at him with calculating eyes. Logan tried to hold himself up taller, to look more secure than he felt.

"I- I've never tried before," Logan had admitted. He'd felt embarrassed and then felt mad for feeling embarrassed. The coach had looked considering.

"Have you ever tried ballet? You might want to start there."

Logan, even at nine, had recoiled at the idea. It had taken all his courage just to practice figure skating in private, in steps and moments he could steal. But ballet was- his dad would never want him to do that. Dalton would laugh at him, the couple friends he had would think he's weird. He couldn't do ballet.

But he couldn't give up the ice, either. Even when his hockey season ended, Logan was at the rink every day, begging his mom to take him after school. He was older than most kids were when they started and he didn't have a coach or any proper training. If he wanted to do the kind of things Logan wanted to do on the ice, he'd have to push himself further, train his body more, practice for hours on end. A few hours every week wasn't enough.

It was nearing the summer time when Logan worked up all the courage in his little body to ask for ballet lessons. He'd done research, used the family computer to look up ballet teachers in the area, ones that specialized in training athletes for other sports. He had his arguments, his bargaining chips, his promises and dreams all held in the palm of his head.

Logan worked up the courage to ask.

And his father had laughed.

So had Dalton. The only one who didn't laugh was his mother, who saw the heartbreak Logan tried so hard to hide with his fake laughter. Of course, he was only joking. That was the only possibly explanation for why he would say such a thing.

Logan's dreams died that night. He resigned himself to copying jumps he saw on YouTube, stolen moments in the ice rink that felt safer than his own home sometimes.

But the next week, when his mom was taking him to the ice rink, Logan realized they'd made a wrong turn. When he mentioned it to his mom, she'd just shushed him. He'd been left in confusion all the way up to the small, squat building. He'd picked out the words on the sign in front of him like a crow picking out gems from the refuse.

Ayliah's Ballet School

Logan's dad was mad when he found out about the lessons a few months later. In response, Logan had brought all the figure skating magazines he'd been hoarding down from his room and showed them to his parents. The pages he'd bookmarked, the sketches he'd made to try and figure out a skater's pose, the torn-out descriptions of an intricate step sequence. He'd looked up at his dad with big, desperate eyes, willing him to understand the inextricable draw figure skating had at him.

By the time he started fifth grade, Logan had a ballet teacher and figure skating coach. By the end of fifth grade, he had landed his first triple jump.

--

At 19, Logan was the most anxious he could ever remember being. He was also more excited than he thought physically possible.

It was his third year in the senior series, and for the first time, he'd been invited to two ISU grand prix. He had an actual chance at the world championships, something he hadn't had since he won the junior series at 16.

Logan's choreography that year was good, really good. He'd put way more work into his presentation after what an opposing skater had said to him at nationals last year.

"Your jumps might have won you one championship, but everyone can jump in the senior series. Stand out, Logan, or get out."

For Logan, who had never cared much what music he had or what step sequences he did as long as it got him enough points, it was a rough wake up call. He was proud of his jumps, the technical perfection he'd spent years and years honing. He could now land the the quad toe loop, quad salchow, and quad Lutz consistently in competition. But his artistry left something to be desired, and it hurt his program scores in the long run.

He'd changed that this year. He'd worked with his choreographer for months to find the right music, the right transitions, the right spins and steps. Logan had even reached out to a figure skater he'd skated with in the junior leagues who always had the best costumes about his stylist.

The first thing he'd noticed about the ice was that it was a canvas, a glistening field just awaiting someone to paint it in soft white stripes. He'd fallen in love with the danger of it, the allure, but he had neglected the emotional appeal. Madame Ayliah would surely be disappointed if he saw him.

But not this year. Not with a short program as bold as the one he had this year, not with a free skate this spellbinding. Logan had even started drafting ideas for a exhibition state, caught in the draw of expressing his emotions on the ice. He was never good at being vulnerable but this year, the ice demanded it of him. He demanded it of himself.

The US could send three men's figure skaters to the World Championships. Three out of thousands. Logan was going to show why he deserved to be one of them.

One day, Logan would lay on the ice, bleeding and broken, and know its cruel love had run out. But today, it welcomed him home.

[amazingmsme]

It’s me the anon who wanted to put Hatchetfeild tkl headcanons here, this is what has been rotating my brain for longer than I wanna admit

Pokey hating all voices that aren’t his own kind of makes him hard for realistic tkl headcanons cause like, the entire point is laughter. But I’m insane which means I can make it work. Cause like in TGWDLM the infected still sound the same (just better singers) so I feel like he more dislikes voices he doesn’t have control over than just the sound of other voices. And yk what? Forcing someone to laugh isnt an awful way to gain control over their voice

What I’m saying is *points at him* ler!!! He’s a ler in my eyes. And a very ruthless one at that (all of the LIB are but that’s not the point)

Also I think we need to think abt mind control powers. Cause those can come in handy. Like idk if he’s capable of invading someone’s mind without replacing or warping the original consciousness but let’s pretend he is. He could easily use control over someone to prevent them from getting away while he’s trying to wreck them. Or better yet he could probably mess with their brain to make it feel like they’re experiencing physical touch when they aren’t. Realistically he’d use this to hug people he liked and inflict pain on people he didn’t but we aren’t here to be realistic so u know exactly what I’m implying he’d use it for.

The mind control potential honestly makes him very overpowered as a ler, he can get whatever spots he wants simultaneously and his lee is powerless to stop him. I can make it worse actually maybe having access to someone’s mind makes it easy for him to figure out what their worst spots are. In other words his lee is either in for a bad or a great time depending on how they feel abt it.

I also have some kinda related paulkotho thoughts so maybe I’ll drop those here sometime

Thanks four listening to whatever is consuming rn

Pokey is such a strong contender for the most powerful/scary lib, sorry wiggly you can’t change my mind. His power in tgwdlm is so strong & he’s just so intimidating & also such a smooth talker & I think that makes him the most ler coded, idk maybe Blinky’s a close second, but the other lords seem to have more switch tendencies. Idk, there’s just something about him that screams ruthless ler, & I couldn’t agree more with these!

Absolutely love your take on how he doesn’t really mind the sound of someone else’s voice as long as he’s “puppeteering” them or forcing the sound out in some way. HE is in control, always has been. & don’t even get me started on the mind control aspect, that trope fuckin’ gets me man! I think he would absolutely be able to find a person’s worst spot by prowling around in their thoughts

[jitterbugjive]

i'm really loving where bedeviled dotty is heading rn with these recent updates :D i only vaguely remember what the blog used to be like before its reboot, and i dont know how much you had planned for the derpy story back then/if you ever even got particularly far... but harrington's whole deal AND now having tumult making threats to him that he had better play along with dotty, Or Else?? i am absolutely digging it so hard

i can't quite say why but ESPECIALLY that last thing is getting my imagination GOING! tumult has grown so fond of dotty it's a real beauty to see. the kind of fucked up love triangle situation one could make of this... i will be rotating this trio of characters in my mind for a while, you're doing an absolutely stellar job with them

Honestly I'm much happier with this story than Bedeviled Derpy because there's so much more I can do with it, and Bedeviled Derpy didn't really have all that much of a story to it. It would have only ever had 3 characters, restrained to the TARDIS. It was more of a gimmick than anything else.

This time I can play with more characters, entire races, and a whole world and I've been figuring out so much about it that I know I won't end the stories from Leporia after Dotty is done. I am hoping to have some kind of series in the future that contains a bunch of short stories following different characters and different situations in the world. For example I would love to show Princess Magnolia's story.

Recently I just figured out what rabbit cuisine is like based on each race's tastes and preferences, and I figured out a bunch more about foxes that will make this story more interesting. The cuisine won't be relevant to Dotty's story but I might be able to make a lore post about it or include in a future story.

I've been hesitating to make lore posts lately because I want to show things off more in the future series.

I can promise the next time Dotty and Tumult sit down and talk, some very important things are going to come to light about the foxes.

[valleygirlmukuroikusaba]

looking back at my old posts and the shift in perspective is crazy bc i never. commit to anything bc im shallow like that but anyways

literally went from thinking i wanted to have leon+sayaka+makoto support mukuro(using this name bc im talking abt era b4 i started to only refer her as VGM) via having different methods even out everything and have them rotate to help mukuro recover

and now im like. what if this just doesnt work out. what if everything just had drawbacks that weren't accounted for. idk my reasons for wanting mukuro to recover were shallow and even tho im not familiar with non-disguise mukuro. idk it was just hmmm but it did pave way for where im going with this narrative now.

and i still wanted to figure out fanon mukuro because i was and am still curious about the fandom and a lot of fanon stuff was interesting to me but i was a lot more interested in understanding fanon before hmm ig life got in the way.

im too busy now to do a full fanon deep dive unfortunately

but i wanted to still work on my au bc its funnnnn so rn its been. intuition and usc/utdp when i have the time for it and im screenshotting all the dialogues from there so im making my own catalogue to look back on for easy access 4 myself.

yeah ig usc isnt "canon" accurate but its convenient for me bc it takes a lot of the characters outside of their baggage so its a lot more. straight to the point for me at least

VGM is well. different from where mukuro started in this au. VGM falls flat regarding the approaches that leon+sayaka+makoto bc hmm i think banking on her recovery wasnt that fun to think abt anymore

and idk maybe leon trying to inspire VGM bc sayaka and makoto dont particularly. get him? well VGM doesnt rlly either but like sayaka is hard to impress and makoto doest necessarily share those interests.

but the thing is VGM doesnt know what she wants so leon thinks of it as an opportunity to show VGM everything he wants. the things that leon finds inspiring even if its shallow and not something that rlly sticks with leon. leon is easily impressed but if VGM does her own thing then.

i think just letting leon observe a friend overcome her own issues. would be quite the inspiring story that leon would find compelling. or not. but the sentiment is there

mukuro recovery arc? mukuro getting better for the purpose of rooting for her to catch up with everyone else? outta the window this shit isnt fun anymore!!

yeah no that was VGM struggling but the pay off is that knowing what doesnt work is still an experience. whatever VGM is gonna do her own thing but everyone else switches up their approaches and let VGM just go. you dont have to be prepared to do jack shit VGM will just have to figure it out as she goes.

and today this approach is fun. maybe ill change my mind tomorrow but idk im feeling like i wanna do something different each time. idk jackshit where im going with this au but thats the fun of it!!!!