#rose is also the kid who would pretend to fall asleep on car rides / on the couch just to make someone carry her back to her room

[marymycete]

rose is so physically affectionate with the people she cares about which mostly stems from her isolation as a child and lack of a connection to anyone her age while simultaneously being raised alongside soldiers / agents. but she is so prone to just casually making contact with the people close to her ; wordlessly leaning into their sides, resting her head over their shoulder, knocking her knee into theirs when sitting next to each other. it's an odd mixture of somewhat subconscious and somewhat intentional, like a cat headbutting someone when they want attention.

[tommyspeakycap]

nsfw alphabet - andy robertson

A - Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

He's a sweaty cuddler after sex. He doesn't care that neither of you have cleaned up or that you're both hot, sweaty and sticking together. He couldn't care less. Andy loves to pull your naked body as close to him as you can get with his fingers drawing lazy patterns on your bare skin until you fall asleep comfortably in his arms.

B - Body part (their favourite body part of yours and of their own)

Of yours, has to be your boobs. He just loves them. Loves to knead them between his hands, rolling your nipples between his fingers to arch your back into off the bed so your body is flush against his. However, more innocently he loves your stomach. It's always so soft and warm and it harboured your little kiddies for nine months three different times. He loved to talk to it when they were in there and now whenever you get time to be together, he makes sure every single mark, scar, stretch of skin is kissed and named as beautiful as he truly knows you are.

C - Cum (anything to do with cum, basically…)

Ohhhh in you. He loves to cum in you. Got a bit of a breeding kink to be fair but we'll get into that later. To know you're full of him even when he pulls out of you or to think about you leaking him until he pushes his fingers up to stuff you full of him again is one of the greatest turns ons of his life. However, Andy would also argue there are few sights more fascinating than that of you on your knees in front of him, his cum dripping down your chin as you look up at him through your lashes.

D - Dirty Secret (a dirty secret of theirs)

He gets turned on when people call you Mrs Robertson or (y/n) Robertson or even Robbo's mrs. Anything like that just sends him fuzzy headed. You're his and only his. You have his name, you wear the rings that he gave you and he gets enthralled by calling you "Mrs Robertson" a million times a day and occasionally in bed. Get's him ready to go any time of the day to be honest. Also it’s not dirty, more fluffy and adorable but he gets really, really excited after you get married and he gets to refer to you as his wife. He loves to point you out and just be all awe struck with sparkly eyes as he proudly announces “That’s my wife.”

E - Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Not necisarrily experienced but he is very good with what he does know. You've been together so long that you've learned just about every nook and cranny of each other so no one is left un satisfied at the end of the time you get to spend together. He's learned your body like the back of his hand and even on a day where the sex is as vanilla as can be, you always finish it feeling very satisfied. Also, for some reason that man has absolutely mastered the art of using his fingers.

F - Favourite Position

I get the feeling Andy probably prefers plain old missionary. It's the easiest, risks the least injury possibilities and allows him to see every single reaction and movement of your face as he bottoms out of you before plunging back in balls deep. He loves watching your eyes roll back as his name dances off of your tongue.

However he does also love taking you standing up. He loves the feeling of your legs tight around his waist because your knees were too weak from him to hold you up anymore and despite the fact it is much harder work, it's always well worth it. This usually doesn't happen at home, it tends to be the hidden corridors and empty rooms of Anfield after matches that are subject to said against the wall sex.

And finally, possibly his favourite is also watching you sink down onto his length, eyes fluttering shut. You take the reigns and he just melts, turning to putty in your hands. He rests both large palm on your upper thighs, fingertips bruising the soft skin of your bum, but they usually wander to your boobs until he’s reaching his high, where on will return to your bum and the other will grab a fistful of the bedsheets in a white knuckle grip as hips buck instinctively until he shoots his load into you with a loud shout. He loves when you ride him whether that’s lying on the bed, sitting up on the couch where he has an angle for his thrusts or if it’s simply you, rubbing yourself against the material of his shorts until he tugs them from the way and allows you to coat his bare thigh in your juices. He loves to be ridden.

G - Goofy (are they more serious or humorous in the moment)

He's a goofy guy through and through. He actually strives to make you laugh during sex because its the most intimate way and space a person could ever make the person they love giggle. It's usually when he's going in hard, almost always afterwards anyway. He'll share or tell little jokes or one liners that make you giggle, a blush heating your cheeks because he's still literally balls deep inside of you and you're giggling away. He just adores everything about it and making you laugh during sex always feels like an extra accomplishment.

Although if he's frustrated or got a lot of pent up energy then no ones laughing. The only noises that can be heard as slapping skin and you on those occasions and no one is complaining.

H - Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes etc)

We've all seen that video from Jordan Henderson's insta story so we all know it appears as though he is completely clean shaven down there. He's not necessarily got a strict routine, he just maintains himself how he likes it as he pleases. It's his beard you think about. Andy likes to keep his faint beard and when between your thighs, it definitely makes all the difference.

I - Intimacy (how they are during the moment? are they romantic?)

He can be quite romantic depending on the occasion (birthdays, anniversaries, valentines etc) but romance is subjective. Some may like rose petals and candles, but you're happy with just Andy really. He can make things romantic sometimes and other times he's just Andy, making jokes and making you feel ridiculously good. Although he certainly can dress up nice, putting on suit, lighting some candles and dimming the lights kind of evening. Those are few and far between but you're certainly not complaining.

J - Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

He doens't do it a lot really. Maybe in the beginning of your relationship but almost never now. The time that he does want to get it on is always when you're there. Otherwise he's at training or with the kids or something like that. He's rarely not busy. When off travelling, Andy may opt to take things into his own hands purely for a release that he needs if he's feeling a bit wound up and missing you. There was one particular point however in your first pregnancy where you got all embarrassed one morning before admitting that the hormones raging around in you had conjured up a dream about Andy jacking off and you getting to watch, so occasionally he'll treat you with that in a nod to that little thing you love that has stuck around ever since.

K - Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Like I mentioned earlier, he has a bit of a breeding kind and further to that, he was absolutely always turned on for pretty much the whole of your pregnancy. He found himself doing a lot of jacking off then because you unsurprisingly weren't up for it most of the time that he was during the course of those nine months. But he was absolutely ravenous seeing you all swollen with his baby. He wanted to be all over you all the time. It just made him wild with desire.

He also has a hefty thing for winding you up in public. One time, at a players gala he fingered you under the table while everyone was eating and you had to sustain a conversation with Jordan Henderson, his wife and Jurgen Klopp. Andy just got so hard knowing what he was doing to you under the table and no one has any idea. It was marvellous; watching you fight everything back as he felt you clenching around his fingers, trying not to arch your back or buck your hips against him. You had a white knuckle grip on your silverware by the time your orgasm rippled through you and you had to pretend that you had chocked on your meal in order to cover up the small cry you let out.

To this day, Andy still whispers about it in your ear when you're in public and you're still waiting for a time to get one over on him for it.

L - Location (favourite places to do the deed)

He’s not really got a preference. Like i said earlier he really like to take you up against the wall, but he’s also partial to bending you over a counter or sinking you down onto him in the front seat of his car. He just is willing to take you anywhere really. Personally though one of his favourite is the shower. Your body can be all slippery, soapy and warm, reactive to his touch and despite the slight danger of possibly slipping, the heat of one of your legs hooked up around him, as he uses the stamina he’s gaining from being a professional athlete to pound himself into you as you yelp and shout out his name. The heat and steam just makes everything better.

M - Motivation (what turns them on/gets them going)

He is also insanely turned on by you in the mornings, groggy and messy haired with a sleepy smile and tired eyes. Watching you clamber out of bed ready to take on the day again with those little kids who laugh like you and yell instead of talk like Andy. You'll also usually emerge from bed wearing one of his old shirts or strips - like an old Hull City training shirt he hasn't worn in 5 years or a stupid cheap t-shirt he bought when he was 18 working in M&S that he thought he lost but actually had ended up being yours. You'll sit up on the bathroom sink while he showers, brushing your teeth ridiculously early just so you both get some time with each other before the little devils wake up. He'll stand between your legs, going in for a kiss that deepens until he's lining himself up with your entrance having pushed your very unflattering underwear to the side and you'll have to be as quiet and as quick as possible. He just loves every minute of living his life with you - even sneaky sex in the bathroom at not even six in the morning. He'll gladly take it.

N - NO (turns off, something/s they won’t do)

Andy is not at all interested in adding another person to the mix. He's surprisingly private as a person and he doesn't ever want your sex life to be something that comes out into the open to be talked about. There is always a risk with another person, plus he doesn't see either of you actually getting any pleasure out of it when sex is so good already. He probably will also never record or take pictures of the ac because he knows how easy it is for these things to end up in anyones hands. When he was younger, he used to. Andy had a really favourited picture of you on your knees in front of you with his hand in your hair as you look up at him after sucking him off. Cum and saliva were dripping down your chin and he still thinks about that long since deleted picture to this day. Andy is great at remembering things in his mind anyway, so he doesn't feel the need to create sex tapes that one day his kids might have to deal with when they're older if it ever breaks onto the news.

O - Oral (are they good? do they prefer giving or receiving?)

Honestly he prefers receiving but he definitely does not shy away from giving. Oh my god the beard burn he gives you is literally to die for, the perfect amount of friction he talks so much that his tongue is his lost exercised muscle so he is very, very good with it when it comes to going down on you. To be fair, it is one of those things that he wasn’t always very good at, but he has vastly improved and now it is something you will never ever turn down.

However, being sucked off by you is probably one of his favourite things ever. He literally cannot get enough of it, watching you get him off. God it’s unreal. Meanwhile he’ll have his head thrown back against the ball, hands on your hair muttering, “That’s it, pretty girl, fuck, perfect. Beautiful.” And you’re soaking wet waiting for him already.

P - Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual?)

He’s usually going for fast and hard. It’s all sweaty bodies and rapid breaths, whimpering out his name as his skin slaps against yours. He can be very sensual but rarely ever slow. His pace lets him reach every inch of you, pushing into you in every way as your nails drag down his back with your ankles linked around his waist. The way his muscles ripple quickly and his body clashes with yours is hot and fiery and perfect. He loves it, you love it. Why bother doing anything else?

Q - Quickie (their opinion on quickies. do they prefer it? how often?)

Dear lord Andy loves a quickie. Slamming into you with his finger over your mouth, warning you to be quiet in a Hampden park back room? Bliss. Pure bliss. He could get off just thinking about it. Post-match quickies are very common and when you become parents, quickies are also necessary when short on time. He prefers to have all the time in the world to take on you, but he will never complain about having a quickie.

R - Risk (do they think to experiment? willing to take risks?)

Andy loves the risk. He loves to pump his fingers into you under tables or have his fingers wound in your hair as you suck him off in a fancy marble walled bathroom at a gala. The rush of potentially being caught always heightens the pleasure. When you were younger and he used to still live with his parents, he didn’t care for the thumping of his headboard against the wall as much as you did. He just loves that he can have you like putty in his hands wherever. It’s not about the people there, it’s about the fact he can drive you crazy and he is in full control and nobody even knows. Although, you too like to get your own back on him, shuffling around in his lap during movie nights so he has to stay glued to the couch the rest of the night because of the hard bugle in his jeans. He’s also into experimenting. Anything that could bring you more pleasure? Bring. It. On.

S - Stamina (how many rounds? how long do they last?)

Everybody says that Andy is one of the biggest grafters in the team in terms of his engine. He could run forever, so i don’t see him being at all different in the bedroom. He could genuinely probably go forever and he very, very much loves to do so. When you’re wildly overstimulated, muscles tight, skin shining with sweat as you pant and gasp for breath beneath him, he gets intoxicated by it. His eyes drink your in, flicking over your face and taking in every little bit of you. He commits it to memory every time, each better than before.

But yeah, Andy could go for hours and honestly he will. It’s a very special treat for you always. Plus, who doesn’t like a guy who can go hard and fast four three rounds and still be fully ready to go down on you afterwards?

T - Toys (do they own any? do they use any? if so, preference?)

He does own a few, all funny little things he bought to tease you with. Like little vibrators that he can press again your clit and stuff like that. He doesn’t use them often and many he got when he was injured and couldn’t have sex with you the way usually would it would want to.

U - Unfair (do they like to tease? if so how much/often)

Aaaaabsolutely. He’s a massive tease. Andy absolutely loves having you writhing and whimpering beneath him, begging to have him fully in you or to go faster, to just move. Loves it. Definitely a big fan of edging you so close until you’re hazy, incoherent and begging for an orgasm that’ll ripple through your whole body so every in a five mile radius will know his name. Whenever you’ve got the time and the freedom, he’s teasing you and sometimes it’ll start in the morning before he leaves for work and he won’t finish it till much later it the day, making for an even more intense orgasm.

V - Volume (are they loud? what sounds do they make?)

Not necessarily loud, but he is very very very into dirty talking right into your ear. His hot breath tickling at your neck between kisses, grazing his teeth against your sensitive skin, god it drives you crazy. He’ll hum against your clit about how wet and ready for him you are and tell you the whole time how beautiful and perfect you are. It’s both romantic and painfully attractive. Apart from that he’s mostly grunts and some groans of your name but the sound he makes when he cums is *chefs kiss*. It’s deep and guttural, coming straight from the base of his throat when his eyes screw shut and his mouth drops open. It’s unbearably hot.

W - Wild Card (random headcanon)

He low-key loves to be marked by you. Not even actively, just passively almost?? Like he doesn’t think about it at the time but afterwards when he’ll spot the scratches down his back when he passes the mirror or if the guys comment on it in the changing room, it makes him feel good. He’s glad everybody knows he belongs to someone in every way, from the most romantic and simply to the most intimate. And knowing you have the faint, painless bruises from his fingertips on your hips with little nipped in love bites around your breast makes him feel satisfied that he’s left you with a memory of the evening. Even just you wearing your wedding ring or looking down at his own on his hand proudly makes him silently happy and all fuzzy inside in a completely non-sexual way because you’re so happy to show off to the world that he’s yours and your his you both love each other so so much.

X - Xray (what’s doing on beneath the belt?)

Again, i’m sure we all seen that video on Jordan Henderson’s insta story the other week, so we all know he is fairly packing. He’s not got anything extravagant or jaw dropping, but it’s still moderately bigger than bang average. It’s honestly just more about what he does with it and how he reaches every but of you that’s the wow factor.

Y - Yearning (how high is their second drive?)

Pretty high, to be fair but nothing out of the ordinary. like it’s not overkill but it’s usually completely unscheduled. Some weeks you’ll want to jump his bones every single night and he’ll fuck you twice a day and other time they’ll be a week between it. Schedules can be awkward and after you get married and have kids it’s a lot harder for things to run to any kind of plan. At the moment, it’s more of an ‘if we have time let’s just fucking go for it’ kind of thing. Although his sex drive is always higher when you’re pregnant or if the team are having a winning streak.

Z - zzz (how quickly do they fall asleep afterwards?)

Both of you fall asleep pretty quickly after sex now to be honest. You’ll usually fall asleep first because he’s tells sweet, soft jokes while stroking your hair and drawing circles on your skin softly. It’s very soothing. And then once you’ve fallen asleep, fatigue usually finds him quite quickly, but he’ll get up out of bed and clean you up a little because he’s ever the gentlemen. Then he’ll climb into bed and fall asleep pretty much instantly once you’re wrapped back in his arms.

[heyitsyn]

RANDOM SEIJOH HCs ACCORDING TO GIGI

a/n: this is a thing i cooked up between doing trig exam and ap gov review akdsjfldskfj

IM PRETTY SURE I ALREADY USED THIS GIF BUT IM WANTING TO RE-DO MY ENTIRE PAGE AND MAKING BANNERS SO THIS IS A TEMPORARY THING AJDJDJJD ALSO I DONT KNOW HOW TO DO THE KEEP READING THING ON THE APP BYE

oikawa def listens to indie music just bc he wants to feel unique and the 'iM diFfErENt fRoM oTHeR gUrLs' vibes

i FIRMLY BELIEVE IWAIZUMI HAJIME IS ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE WHO CHOMPS ON HIS ICE CREAM BC HE LIKES TO FEEL THE COLD ON HIS TEETH AKSJSKSKSK

meanwhile kunimi eats a kitkat like its pizza just CHOMP

makki caNNOT sleep without a pillow between his thighs LIKE LISTEN he has 2 sisters and they all told him its so comfortable and at first he was like,, ??,, then he tried and now cant sleep without it

bUT MATTSUN LIKES TO SLEEP WITH PILLOWS SURROUNDING HIM bc it makes him feel safe and like there are two body pillows on either side of him and hes kinda trapped in the middle aksjskdk

when kyo was younger, he was really short and although he had other pants, he loved this one pair but they were really long on him and he wore it all the time and the part of the pants that touched the ground is torn in shreds

kindaichi steps on the sofa before sitting LIKE puts one foot on the cushion then the other until hes literally standing on the couch before folding to sit with his knees up to his chest (i do this)

watari sniffs his food before eating it no matter if its something he eats all the time or something new, he still sniffs it either way

yahaba is really particular with his feet and he likes to get a really big tupperware (duh one only meant for his feet) and fill it up with warm almost boiling water and he just soaks them

oikawa has sleep paralysis and he oftens hallucinates about aliens in the corner of his room

kunimi does this thing where he makes weird noises with his mouth like sounds of his mouth opening LIKE when youre tastinf something new and you do that sound with your tongue (I DUNNO HOW TO DESCRIBE IT AJDKSKKD)

makki bends his knees just to crack his ankles

iwa sneezes a ton but he has those sneezes where theyre quiet that you dont even notice or really loudly that it just echoes throughout the gym

kyo sleeps with one sock on bc his feet gets cold easily but both socks make him feel really hot so only one sock is perfect

for a tall and hunk of a guy, mattsun is a very light walker like his footsteps are very light and if he wants to, it can be practically silent

watari actually hates vegetables ajssksksk he particularly hates zucchini, eggplants, any vegetables that are that shape

kindaichi likes to stick or lean against walls because to him, they feel cold and can decrease his body heat

oikawa stands and places his feet at V position like \/ instead of ll because his sister did ballet and he was taught that was the right way of standing and it was considered graceful

yahaba has a fear of cactuses

mattsun does so badly in the heat because his body temp runs so high and the hot surroundings make him feel so uncomfortable and so he takes a lot of cold showers

iwa cannot swim like he freaks out immediately when his toetips can no longer feel the bottom and he panics with thoughts of drowning

watari has really small feet that he still buys big kids shoes to save money

kyotani considered playing baseball because he thought baseball bats were cool but he got angry and threw tantrum after missing his first pitch

iwa chomps on a whole raw chili while eating ramen akskksks

oikawa actually hates sweets bc when he was younger, he had cavities and iwa showed him a cartoon of cavities eating his teeth and will make him toothless

kindaichi really really likes hugs but hes too awkward to ask them even from his parents

yahaba chomps on mints so he goes through boxes of them in a week

i feel like theres a boy in the team who doesnt brush their teeth everyday and rubs a towel on their teeth to make it look clean and take mints to hide their bad breath

iwaizumi is actually iron deficient so he bruises super super fast and he even developed iron defiency anemia when he was younger bc his parents didnt catch on which caused him to be put on strong medication for months and still takes it now

WAIT,, OIKAWA IS LACTOSE INTOLERANT BUT HE LIKES MILK SO HE EATS MILK BREAD TO MAKE HIM FEEL NOT SO BAD OR GUILTY OF CONSUMING STRAIGHT DAIRY

seijoh four bonding time is watching gordom ramsey shows and yelling and screaming 'YEA! EXACTLY!' as if theyre also cooking genuises

watari used to eat grapes all the time until his mom got worried and told him if he doesnt stop, he will eventually turn into one. he only eats it every few weeks

when he was younger, kunimi cried because he had befriended a chicken on a trip to a farm and his mom took him to eat fried chicken after and he thought it was Chicky (his chicken friend :"))

kyotani used to stick out his tongue when it was raining so he could taste the raindrops. they taste better than bottled water

one time, during a seijoh sleepover, they dared oikawa to wear his sisters old uniform, skirt and all, and it backfired so everyone turned red and couldnt look at him in the face

their pregame ritual is touching each other's shoe tips

they tried doing yoga at yahaba's house before by watching yoga youtube videos but everyone ended up having to go to the chiropractor after (how did makki even turn into the human pretzel?)

the local gym gets so scared when they see the team coming through the doors bc these men are so LOUD like they HYPE EACH OTHER UP SO MUCH THEYRE SO ANNOYING AKSKSKDK

also never take them to an all you can eat sushi place. if you do, bring them earlier of the day like 30 mins after opening time so the cooks can cook enough for them without running out of ingredients (even then sometimes they still run out)

oikawa used to eat his mom's roses from her garden because he thought it would make his farts smell good like roses

takahiro is a surprisingly good artist like he draws really cool action fighting scenes in the corner of his papers and stuff

in my work: it's canon that iwa is half filo and his nanay used to dress him up in a barong all the time during halloween bc she wanted him to showcase his heritage

yahaba drinks a lot of milk because he hopes to one day grow strong and bulky like the 3rd years instead of being seen as a pretty boy

kindaichi's mom is a hairstylist and she always scolds him for using a lot of gel bc she's always the one who washes his hair

makki never learned how to do taxes and hes had the government knocking on his door a handful of times (BOKUTO AKKDJSKKS)

kyo has a dog: a chiweenie

there's someone on the team who wears those socks with individual pockets for toes

their pinterest is so different from what they look like for example, mattsun has a board of different flower decorations and arrangements

kunimi throws up during intense horror movies

watari's celeb crush is emma watson

the team alternates from different music genres like from ateez and bts to mxmtoon and beach bunny

they still dont know how to pronounce camila cabello's name

theyre all active in social media but only oikawa is on it 24/7 and in all platforms while the others have insta and snap

mattsun has twins as little siblings and he used to get them mixed up all the time that he used to draw a sharpie dot on the girl's forehead to determine she was his sister

watari hates sitting on the floor bc his butt bone hurts really easily so he can only sit on cushions for long periods of time

the team was supposed to have a party but everyone didnt know what to bring so they proved they shared the same braincell by bringing the same thing: a box of pizza

makki's an old soul and prefers to play records on a record player or watch old movies

kyo is surprisingly good at giving massages because he really pushed hard on those tense muscles

kindaichi knows how to crack necks so everyone goes to him a lot to do it (a friend of mine does this and can i say its terrifying yet so good?)

the only one who has a license is matsukawa and thats because granny needs to go to the doctor a lot and he hates her walking by herself and cabs are expensive

kyotani and yahaba are actually,,, lowkey close,,, not like best friends but theyre nice to each other and they got a stick and poke together (yahaba's was: :) while kyo's was: >:))

watari has a collection of mangas (some bl maybe 👀)

WARNING SAD: mattsun’s future job is a funeral person right? he ends up taking care of granny’s funeral free of charge and he had to take a week off because it was really painful for him

oikawa learned spanish SUPER fast to the point he forgets japanese sometimes but there are moments where he forgets both languages and hes just,,,, ???

makki’s unemployed yea but he rooms with mattsun in exchange of cooking because makki’s surprisingly good at cooking

iwa is practically the nutritionist of the team because he knows everything about proteins, carbs, iron, and needed vitamins so they all go to him to know what to eat and what they need

kunimi has lots and lots of shoes but usually only wears 2

kindaichi has a habit of pretending hes chewing gum even though he doesnt have gum, his mouth just chomps and moves with air akasldfjkf

there was a clown phenomenon in america but in their city, they had a mascots and seijoh 4 went around scaring kids :”(

oikawa never manspreads he gets too insecure to spread out like that akdjfkd

kyotani can easily sleep anywhere like he would be standing and just fall asleep or he sleeps with his eyes open

yahaba’s parents own a restaurant somewhere in the city and he works there sometimes

IM REALLY GOING TOO MUCH ABOUT THIS YALL AKSDJFKL

SORRY IM WRITING TOO MUCH I FEEL BAD THAT I HAVENT UPDATED BUT IM IN A CAR RIDE RN AND I WAS ABLE TO WRITE AGAIN AND MY EXAMS HAVE FINISHED THIS WEEK IMMA CRY

PLEASE, FEEL FREE TO REPLY WITH ANY OTHER HCS YOU GUYS KNOW OF SO I CAN PUT IT IN HERE AND CREDIT YOU WITH IT SO WE CAN HAVE LIKE A HCS BOOK FROM EVERYONE BUT THIS IS WHAT I STARTED WITH

oikawa screams a lot according to gigi but he’s actually a really quiet guy and not easy to scare

OKAY YOU GUYS DONT KILL ME I SWEAR IVE BEEN SO TERRIBLE AT WRITING BUT YOU KNOW WHO TURNED ONE TODAY? THIS PAGE!!! MY BABY IS ONE ALREADY 😭😭😭 ANYWAYS, HOPE THIS CAN MAKE YOU GUYS SMILE TODAY AND SCHOOL ENDS NEXT WEEK AND IM ALREADY AT 132 DRAFTS AMSJKSDKSK SO OH MY GOD THERES GOING TO BE SO MUCH COMING AND IM SO EXCITED TO GET THEM OUT 😩😩

[spaceskam]

Pretty Little Picture (1/3)

fake dating au, pure fluff, no serious tags, just a bunch of fluff

for day 1 of @malex-cupid​

ao3

When Alex agreed to this, he thought it’d be a piece of cake.

“You’re going to regret this, it’s a horrible idea,” Liz said through the phone as he walked around his room, packing his bag for the weekend. He furrowed his eyebrows.

“Why? We’re friends. And I’ve done musicals and stuff, I’ve acted before.”

“Okay, but this isn’t acting. This is going on a weekend getaway pretending to date your friend who you have a crush on is a bad idea,” she scoffed. Alex shook his head, looking between his plain black button-up and his plain black fitted turtleneck. He chose the turtleneck one and folded it carefully.

“I don’t have a crush on him.”

“Really?”

“Really. Trust me, I’ve seen him after pulling an all-nighter and falling asleep in his coffee. I know not to have a crush on him,” Alex said. Though he will admit, that was pretty cute.

“Sounds like something someone with a crush would say,” Liz scolded. Alex snorted a laugh. “Fine, do what you want, at least you’ll be believable with the heart-eyes and everything.”

“I do not have heart-eyes!”

Truly, Alex was sure it wouldn’t be that big of a deal. He lived with Michael already. They shared the house he inherited‒Michael needed a cheap place to live while in college and Alex wasn’t really looking forward to living alone, so it worked out‒and nothing weird had happened in the last three years. They were best friends, what would one weekend hurt?

“Alex, I need your help,” Michael had said, bursting into the living room and nearly making Alex spill his coffee. He stomped towards him, dropping his bag on the ground and flopping onto the couch with a pathetic whine. “Help me.”

“Help you with what?” Alex had asked in return, taking his eyes off his laptop to give him his full attention while he threw a little tantrum.

Michael twisted onto his stomach and rested his chin on his hands, looking up at him. Alex’s heart absolutely did not skip a beat in adoration. He wasn’t that cute.

“You know my internship? The fancy one with all the rich people that pay me to be an intern for them and actually listen to my ideas and‒”

“Yes, Michael, I know about your internship,” Alex laughed. Michael pouted just a little bit.

“Okay, so every year, the CEO takes all the interns and entrance-level employees and their partners on a trip for Valentine’s day and it’s a fun trip, I guess, but it’s really just this big, super informal interview where he and his wife sort of see if you’ll be a good fit for the company long term. Khalil said I have to go no matter what, that it’s super crucial and to make a good impression. Like, I have to go, Alex. I have to get hired for real after I graduate. Do you know how much I’ll get paid just to start? $35 an hour, Alex! I could do so much with that money!” Michael explained, exasperated and overwhelming as if Alex hadn’t heard how much money he would make if he got this job a billion times.

“Yeah, okay, then go,” Alex told him, “Sweet talk them like we all know you can.”

“I need a partner, though,” Michael said, pouting all over again, “So come with me. Please? We can pretend to be, like, long term boyfriends and, like, convince them I’d be a good queer diversity hire at the very least.”

Alex felt his cheeks grow warm at the suggestion and shifted in his spot. “Why me?”

“Because! You were raised around a bunch of bougie rich white people, you know how to act at these things! I’d ask Isobel or Max, but I don’t even wanna pretend to be in love with them. With you, I can do the whole starry-eyed thing and if we have to show PDA, it won’t be that big of a deal because, like, it’s you,” Michael persuaded, clambering onto his hands and knees before putting his head on Alex’s arm and pouting up at him, “Pretty please? I’ll buy you something nice and fancy with my first big kid paycheck.”

“Okay,” Alex agreed, not letting himself think too much about it. They spent all their time together anyway. He’d fallen asleep with Michael’s feet in his lap, he’d seen him basically naked, he’d hugged him and gotten platonic head kisses from him. They could pull it off.

“Okay?” Michael repeated, sitting up more. His smile was shining and bold and Alex had to take a breath. “Okay! Okay, so we have two weeks to pack and come up with stories and shit to tell. It’ll be so easy, they’re gonna love you, you’re so chill. Thank you, Alex, thank you so much.”

Which led to now when Alex was preparing to go on this trip. From the way Michael explained, it would be a lot of just talking and discussing with a side of couples retreat-esque activities.

“He’s apparently superfamily and relationship-oriented. I don’t know if it’s because he’s, like, super conservative or if he’s super progressive and is all for, like, living wages for family and will give people ample time off. I’m too scared to ask just yet,” Michael had explained.

Michael had also assured him that, during discussions, he could either sit with him or go talk to the other partners, whichever he preferred. He basically just needed Alex to look pretty and seem like they were totally in love. According to the way Liz spoke about them, it wouldn’t be a difficult feat.

So Alex packed his clothes and anything he thought he’d need to get by on a three day trip to some bed and breakfast in the middle of nowhere. He wanted to look nice the whole time, even when they weren’t at formal dinners, and he was even going to flip his septum piercing. He planned to use his skills at selling himself to sell Michael as well.

“If you ever need a break, I’ll cover for you while you drive to the nearest convenience store to get a bunch of snacks,” Michael told him as he threw their bags in the backseat of Alex’s little car. Alex snorted a laugh.

“What about if you need a break?”

“Well, I plan to work for this fucker for at least the next thirty years, so my only break will be sleeping,” Michael said. Alex shook his head, going over to fix the collar of Michael’s shirt. It’d taken a bit of convincing to get him to forgo the flannels for a couple of days, but now he had a collared shirt that wouldn’t stay down for some reason. “Speaking of, are you gonna be chill sharing a bed or do I need to sleep on the floor? I don’t mind it, just wanna know if I should ask for an extra blanket.”

“Dude, we’ve shared a bed before,” Alex laughed, “It’s not gonna kill me.”

“Just making sure,” Michael said, taking a deep breath. It was only then that Alex realized that he was actually nervous.

“Hey,” Alex said, grabbing his shoulders and looking him in the eyes, “You’re going to impress the hell out of them, I’m gonna make sure of it, okay?”

“I just really want this job, Alex,” Michael said. Alex smiled.

“And you’re going to get it,” he said, “And, hey, if you don’t, this internship will always look good on your future resume.”

“Let’s just stick to telling me I’m gonna get it, okay?” Michael breathed. Alex laughed and nodded, patting him on the shoulder before shoved him gently in the direction of the passenger seat.

“You’re going to get it. Now get in the car.”

The whole ride there Alex was completely fine. This was going to be a piece of cake and he was going to show Liz that he could totally handle it. He didn’t have a crush, he wasn’t going to catch even more feelings, he was just being a good friend.

It didn’t really dawn on Alex just how stressful this weekend was going to be until they stepped inside the bed and breakfast and Michael looped an arm around his waist and tugged him in close. He knew they were going to be showing casual PDA, Alex agreed to that, but saying it and doing it in private was a whole different world to having Michael hanging onto him in front of other people.

Alex could hear his heart in his ears over the ringing, suddenly very aware of the fact that Michael was muscular. He knew he did a lot of manual labor jobs before he got that internship, but had he always been obvious about it?

Even then, Alex was able to smile through it as Michael led him up to the group of people that were already there. He was able to keep his feet under him as Michael leaned up to his ear to whisper a ‘you got this’. Alex was even stable as he shook the hand of the man whose suit was probably more than Alex’s inheritance.

“This is Alex,” Michael said, smiling over at him like he was the most important thing that ever existed, “My boyfriend.”

Well, shit.

Maybe Liz was onto something.

-

No, honestly‒Alex was fine.

Michael was charming, he knew that. He’d seen him with girls and guys he liked, he always laid on the charm thick and so it absolutely made sense for him to turn it on Alex. He just wasn’t used to it, that’s all. He just needed to adjust and then it’d be all roses.

“Alex, have I mentioned today that you’re my favorite?” Michael hummed as they went into their little room. Alex finally felt like he could breathe and tilted his head at him, raising an eyebrow. Michael was grinning with his back pressed against the door. “You’re incredible. They like you. Ivan laughed at your joke‒he never laughs.”

“Well, I’m glad you picked the right suitor,” Alex laughed, rolling his shoulders as he sat down on the bed. His back was facing Michael, finally, and he used it to close his eyes and count to three.

Michael was charming, simple. And, honestly, Alex was on the receiving end of it the more he thought about it. Just not in front of people. That’s what made it feel like so much. The audience. He’d never been so loudly out in front of that many people before. That’s what it was.

“The best,” Michael insisted. 

The bed creaked under his weight as he crawled across it and Alex was only able to prepare himself for the weight to be draped over his back because he was used to Michael being clingy. Just… in private. 

“Hey, you okay?” Michael asked after he was quiet for a second too long.

“Yeah,” Alex breathed, “I’m fine. Just never proudly stated I was into guys in front of that many people before.”

“Oh,” Michael said, pressing against his back just a little more, “Good feeling or bad feeling?”

Alex didn’t answer quickly enough.

“Alex, if you want to go home, then‒”

“No, this is good. I feel good. Just overwhelmed,” he explained. It wasn’t a lie.

“Okay, fair enough,” Michael said, kissing his temple before throwing himself backwards onto the bed, “I swear, it feels better after the overwhelming feeling goes away. None of them are gonna say shit to you either.”

Alex nodded and laid back on the bed beside him, looking over at him. They had to get ready for one of their informal discussions and dinner, but it sounded like a good idea to just lay there for a moment. The longer they laid there, the more he was able to realize this wasn’t going to be too bad. In fact, he was going to have fun with it.

In an actual relationship, he wouldn’t want to show a lot of PDA or be super touchy. But this wasn’t an actual relationship. He could just be a little extreme for the fun of it. He was going to school to perform. Why not try his hand at acting?

Bonus points if Michael got flustered.

“Okay, I’m good,” Alex said. Michael turned his head and they locked eyes, a smile on his face.

“Good,” Michael said, shifting onto his side, “But if you start feeling overwhelmed again, you can just squeeze my hand. We’re boyfriends for the weekend, so it doesn’t matter if they think it’s gay.”

Alex huffed a laugh, turning onto his side as well. 

“Do they actually know you’re bisexual or is this like your coming out and you’re just letting them think what they want?” Alex wondered, “I saw a couple of shocked faces.”

“Some people know, mainly the people I talk to every day, but I don’t try to hide it. I think most of them thought I was straight until Callie was showing Emily some picture of a hot guy and I said I wanted to see,” Michael said, grinning in that way that told Alex he’d done it purposefully to get a shock out of some people.

“Oh yeah, how’d that go?”

“No one really said much, the girls laughed. Khalil breathed like a sigh of relief because they thought they were the only queer person working there,” Michael said, scooting closer, “I think there’s probably a couple more somewhere are the office. It’s a big place, there’s gotta be.”

“Mm, but we’re gonna be basically the only same-sex couple this weekend, right? I didn’t see anyone else while we were down there,” Alex pointed out. Michael nodded.

“Yeah, sorry. But only for a couple of days! It’s already Friday afternoon and we’re leaving Sunday afternoon, it’ll be fine. Plus, you got me,” Michael said, reaching out to poke Alex in the side, “I’ll make it worthwhile.”

Alex found himself smiling just a little.

“Yeah, I know you will.”

They both eventually got up and got dressed. Alex broke out the turtleneck and some relatively tight black slacks, drawing on fresh eyeliner. He pulled as much of his hair back as he could into a small low ponytail and deliberately made his bangs and everything hanging down a little intentionally messy.

This was a performance and he was going to sell it easily.

When he came out of their bathroom and into the main room, he saw Michael was in a pair of chinos and a maroon button-up that he was sure Isobel had gotten for him. He was just fastening his belt when Alex made a show of leaning against the doorframe as he whistled low.

“Well, well, well, don’t you look good,” Alex said. Michael looked up at him with a shit-eating grin, hands fumbling as he tried to tuck the end of the belt into his belt loops. 

“I bet I smell better, Isobel got me fancy cologne,” he said. Alex huffed a laugh.

“Yeah, I can smell it, it’s nice,” he said, pushing off the door frame and walking closer, “You wearing real shoes, or am I going to have to publicly break up with you for wearing cowboy boots?”

Michael rolled his eyes and reached out to grab Alex by the waistband of his pants, tugging him in. Alex’s eyes went wide as he laughed at the forwardness.

“I’m wearing shoes, the fancy ones that are pointed at the end and click when you walk,” Michael said. Alex grinned and put the back of his hand to his forehead.

“I’m swooning.”

“You should.”

Michael let him go and went to go slip on his shoes while Alex went to his combat boots‒much more situation-appropriate than cowboy boots and he would stick by that. They gave each other another once over of approval before leaving their room. 

“Those boots make your ass look great,” Michael said as they headed towards the elevator. Alex’s eyebrows shot up and he looked over his shoulder. Michael flashed an innocent smile. “What? You’re my boyfriend, I can look at your ass, right?”

“If I can look at yours, boyfriend.”

“I’m begging,” Michael said warmly as they stepped into the elevator. Alex shook his head and pressed the ground floor.

Because, of course, this was what it would be like to be with Michael. Flirting, banter, touching. No wonder he had so many people wanting to be with him. Hell, Alex got a decent taste of it and they didn’t even like each other like that. Though, it definitely helped him understand where all of Liz’s concerns came from.

“You really are feeling better, right? Like, don’t let me do anything you’re not comfortable with. I’ll try not to, but, you know, slap me if I do,” Michael insisted before the elevator doors could open, sincerity dripping from his tone.

Alex held out his hand as the doors opened.

“I’m fine.”

Alex was able to make that statement even more true as they started socializing and he managed to snag a flute of champagne. It tasted expensive, just like the shit he and Kyle would sneak at their parents’ parties. It was easier to loosen up when pretending that’s what this was.

“Michael, Alex!” Curtis called as he neared, a big smile on his face and a gorgeous woman on his arm.

Curtis was the CEO of Disionic, a company that specialized in doing work for other companies’ prototypes. Companies of all sorts would use Disionic to outsource their new and fancy inventions for all sorts of different things, from engine-powered toys to ad blocking apps to literal blenders, as a way to test run them and get credible feedback from engineers and usually would employ them to fix any mistakes that were made. Michael loved it, it was a constant stream of new things and it made big money. 

The fact that he made a point to know all the interns' names was simply a plus.

“You two look like the perfect pair,” he said, looking between the two of them with a warm smile. Alex raised his eyebrows at Michael and offered a smile.

“Thank you, Mr. Iverson,” Michael said, nodding to the woman on his arm, “Mrs. Iverson.”

“Call me Jeannie,” Mrs. Iverson said, holding out a hand. Michael shook it firmly and Alex did the same. “So, I’ve heard about Michael, the agricultural and mechanical double major from Berkeley, but I haven’t heard about you. What do you do, Alex?”

Alex felt Michael take a deep breath, a silent ‘oh God, am I good enough that he told his wife about me?’ and he tightened his hold around his waist. Alex gave his award-winning polite smile that did wonders when he took etiquette classes back when his father thought dressing him up in a suit around other boys in suits to learn about how to act right would make him less likely to be a raging homosexual.

“I actually go to SFSU for right now,” Alex said, “Music major.”

“Oh!” she said, and Alex had already predicted her words before she said them because it’s what people always said, “That’s cute!”

“Mm,” Alex hummed, taking another sip of his champagne, “My major is piano education, but I also take vocal classes as more of a minor.”

“Oh, good, you’ll be able to do a lot with that. And it’s not that far from Michael’s school,” she said. He nodded, looking towards Michael.

“Yeah, we live somewhere in the middle,” he said.

“That’s good that he’s with someone who’s also focused, it’s a good environment to be in for a boy his age with his promise,” Curtis insisted. Michael went a little weak in his grasp and Alex didn’t have to be a genius to know it had everything to do with a grown man caring about his promise. 

“I think so too.”

After moving on from Curtis, Michael was able to regain his legs and his brain and Alex didn’t have to carry too much of the weight‒literally and figuratively. They sat and had dinner, all paid for by the company, and then got back to socializing. It was honestly a bit draining, but Alex kept reminding himself it was just for the weekend and it was for Michael and also that most of the people there were winging it just as much as Michael.

“So, how did you two get together? I know Michael said you were roommates before things got started, so that must’ve been a risky move,” Alisha‒Michael’s coworker’s wife of two months who wouldn’t let either of them forget how sad it was that they couldn’t make it to the wedding as if they’d known either of them long enough to be invited in the first place‒asked. She was kind and all, but she asked a lot of questions. Alex was waiting for her to ask something that was too invasive to even justify a polite answer.

Honestly, some of them already felt too invasive, but Alex knew that was probably him just being touchy.

“Oh, I just got up the courage to ask him out one day and hoped it wouldn’t be weird. I mean, look at his face. It was impossible not to catch feelings,” Michael said. Alex rolled his eyes and leaned into his side, playing it up to the best of his ability. It helped that the champagne he’d been sipping on had made him a little more comfortable.

“Stop it.”

“I’m serious! I couldn’t help myself. I just wanted a chance to look at the stars with you and know you were mine,” Michael cooed, pressing his nose into Alex’s cheek and nuzzling just a little. Alex’s ears were ringing a bit as he turned his head to look at him up close. They locked eyes for a moment too long before Michael cleared his throat and looked back to Alisha. “So, yeah, couldn’t pass up the opportunity.”

“How cute, I wish straight men were that romantic,” she cooed, just tone-deaf enough to level Alex’s thoughts, “Have you talked about marriage? I’d love to come to the wedding, it’d be so fun.”

“Not really, yet,” Alex said, pinching Michael’s hip just enough to make him jump, “But I figure one day I’ll get him on one knee.”

“What, you won’t propose to me?” Michael said, trying to put but failing through his smile. Alex cupped his ear in his hand, running his thumb gently along the curve of it. If Michael’s eyes drifted to his lips, well, Alex pretended he didn’t notice.

“Maybe I just like seeing you on your knees,” Alex said. Michael’s eyes widened.

“Oh, dear, I feel like I’m intruding,” Alisha giggled and Alex blinked out of it.

“Sorry,” he said, “Just teasing.”

“I totally get it! Me and my Tom get like that all the time.” 

“Speaking of your Tom,” Tom said, sidling up beside her and looping his arm around her waist. She smiled up at him. “Emily wanted to see your ring.”

“Oh! Okay, see you later, guys! I had fun talking to you,” Alisha said, waving as she let herself be tugged off to wherever Emily and her boyfriend were.

Alex let out a breath of relief and raised his glass to his lips. Mid-sip, Michael leaned in close to his ear, lips nearly pressed against his skin. Alex focused on his drink.

“You’re gonna do something stupid like make me fall in love with you,” he breathed, leaving a kiss on his cheek before he pulled back.

“Ah, a tragic mistake many men have made,” Alex said playfully. Michael beamed at him.

“Seriously, you’re amazing, Alex. I’m so glad I brought you. You even managed to make Alisha bearable,” Michael said. Alex laughed and looked over to where Alisha was proudly showing off her ring.

“She’s not that bad.”

“You haven’t met her as many times as I have,” Michael huffed, “I was terrified when I saw her comin’ this way. She means well, but, you know.”

“The straights just aren’t as romantic, Michael, don’t you know?” he said. Michael laughed and squeezed his hip. “But are you good? You’re starting to look a little drained.”

“I’m gonna start lookin’ for a way out so we can go upstairs. My people tolerance is dropping,” Michael confessed. Alex nodded.

“Well, you’re doing really well. I almost didn’t notice.”

“Hopefully no one else will.”

“No one else knows you like I do, so I’m assuming you’re good.”

Michael tilted his head, that little smirk on his lips as he said, “You know me so well, huh?”

“I do live with you,” Alex pointed out. Michael nodded and his eyes went to the flute of champagne in his hand.

“How many of those have you had?” he asked. Alex shrugged, swirled it around a bit before downing the rest.

“Three, maybe four. Yeah, four, one before dinner, one during, two since,” Alex explained. Michael nodded.

“Feelin’ good?” he asked. Alex hummed and nodded, looking over Michael’s face easily. “I’m not a champagne man.”

“Neither am I, but this shit is too expensive not to drink.”

Michael laughed, “Guess I’ll have to taste it.”

“You will.”

Alex’s eyes drifted to his lips, not for the first time. He started wondering what he actually looked like on his knees. Then he shook that thought right out of his head.

“I’m tired,” Alex said, maybe a bit louder so other people would hear. Michael grinned.

“Okay, let’s make our rounds in saying goodnight.”

They said goodnight to Michael’s coworkers that they passed on their way to say goodnight specifically to Curtis and Jeannie. It was an absurd amount of small talk, very ‘oh, yeah, we were up early, Alex had class’ and ‘it’s a long day, want to be fresh in the morning!’ and ‘you know how it is, can’t wait to get this one alone, haha!’ It was all tragically boring and as he got closer to when he’d be free of it, Alex began to itch to get back to their room.

By the time they said goodnight to Curtis and his wife, they were basically speed walking to the elevator. Once the doors closed, Michael tugged Alex into a hug, burying his face into his neck and Alex giggled, feeling light as he draped his arms around his neck. Michael lifted him off the ground for a moment, until the doors slid open.

They made it back to their room and Alex didn’t have a moment to process anything before the door closed and Michael was closing in on him. He grabbed his face in between his hands, staring at him with the biggest smile. Alex was probably a little too drunk for this.

“You are so fucking good at this, I could kiss you. The flirting, the touching, the lines? Alex! You’re a genius, a pure genius. I knew they’d like you, but they like like you. You are so good, Alex Manes,” he gushed, peppering kisses to his forehead and his nose and his cheeks. By the time he pulled away, Alex’s face was on fire and he was smiling so wide it hurt.

“I’m just selling it,” Alex said.

“And you are doing a damn good job. I should date you more often,” Michael said. Alex nodded lamely and Michael laughed, grabbing his hand and pulling it to his mouth. He pressed a kiss to the back of it. “I am going to go take a shower, boyfriend. You start trying to sleep off that champagne, okay?”

“Okay.”

Michael dropped his hand and turned, stepping out of his shoes on the way to the bathroom. Alex let out a breathy laugh and sat on the edge of the bed. He slowly pulled his hair down and pulled off his boots, taking a deep breath. He licked his lips and turned his head to the bathroom door, head swimming with too many thoughts as the water kicked on.

Alex changed out of his shirt and his pants into sweats and a t-shirt, climbing into bed without much thought. He tried not to think, at least. He closed his eyes and tried to lull himself to sleep.

But, when the bathroom door opened, he couldn’t help himself.

Alex peeked over the edge of the blanket and watched as Michael, dripping wet with just a towel around his waist, searched for his clothes with nothing but the bathroom light to guide him. He was gorgeous and overwhelmingly… Michael. Alex couldn’t remember the last time he wanted something so bad as he wanted to touch Michael at that moment.

At the thought, he pulled the blanket over his head, his eyes going wide.

Oh.

Oh no.

[sometimesiwritebadly]

No Thoughts (Spencer Reid x BAU!Reader)

Summary: After you run into your ex on a case, Spencer’s jealousy causes him to cut you out from his mind. (Soulmate AU)

Warnings: Language. Mentions kidnapping. Also a stupid ex-boyfriend.

Notes: Y’know, i really wish i hadn’t hitched my wagon to the whole “ ____ Thoughts” title scheme. if i had known this was gonna be my most successful series on this website i would’ve done something better. but it’s too late now so. anyways this takes place after Overwhelming and before Life-Saving. It’s angsty but don’t worry there’s some fluff at the end. Also i kinda wanted to yell at spencer for how annoying he’s being in this one but then i remembered that i made him act that way so don’t be too mad at me 

Word Count: 1.7k

Soulmate Series Masterlist

Masterlist

You’re 3 months into a relationship with Spencer Reid, your soulmate, and you couldn’t be happier. It hasn't been the easiest getting used to having another person in your head, but both you and Spencer have gotten a pretty good handle on controlling your rogue thoughts. It definitely wasn’t perfect, but even the worst days with Spencer were still miles ahead of any day you’d had without him.

You and Spencer were at his apartment, enjoying a rare day off. You were rewatching Doctor Who and cuddling on his couch, arguing over the best and worst companions.

“Don’t get me wrong, I love Martha! I just think her being in love with the Doctor was stupid!” You said, laughing at Spencer’s shocked face.

“Stupid? That was brilliant! It showed how the Doctor isn’t this perfect guy like the show made him out to be with Rose!”

“No, it just made it seem like the Doctor was irresistible! It made him seem even more perfect, which is why Donna-” Spencer, scoffed, knowing where your argument was heading, “Is the best companion! She’s the only one who doesn’t want to fuck him!”

Spencer opened his mouth to protest, but was interrupted by his phone ringing. He grabbed it, and once he saw who was on the other side, put it on speaker. “Hey JJ, what’s up?”

“We have a case. Hotch wants everyone here in 30 so we can brief on the plane. Is Y/N with you?”

“Always. We’ll see you soon, JJ.” You responded. Spence hung up the phone and stoof from the couch, before turning back to you and holding out a hand to help you off the couch. “I guess I’ll have to prove you wrong later.”

~~~

After a 6 hour flight, the BAU landed in Seattle. On the plane, Hotch had explained that there had been 3 children taken, all within an hour of each other, from 3 different homes in the area. It’s their job to determine if it’s one unsub, a group, or isolated incidents. After dropping off all their things at the hotel, they made their way to the police station. When they walked in, however, they were greeted by the last person Y/N wanted to see. “Oh fuck me.” She thought.

“What’s wrong?” Spencer had heard her, and was immediately concerned. So much for having control over her thoughts. Before she could answer, the reason for her worry began speaking.

“Nice to meet you all, I’m Detective Rothschild. If you guys need anything, I’ll be the one to help-” He cut himself off when his eyes landed on you. “Y/N? I didn’t know you were in the BAU now, How’ve you been?” The whole team had their gaze turned to you now. You could hear Spencer’s questions about the detective flying through your head, but you ignored them all. 

“I’m good James. We can catch up after we find the kids.” And just like that, the topic was dropped. Finding those kids within the first 24 hours was the most important thing right now, but that didn’t stop Spencer’s thoughts. No matter what was going on, Spencer was in your mind, asking you about James. 

“C’mon just tell me how you know each other! I promise I’ll focus on the case.” His question entered your mind as the two got ready to head to one of the crime scenes.

“Spence, I told you earlier, we went to college together.”

“Ok, but that’s not all. Why won’t you tell me?”

“I just don’t like talking about it! Please, can we discuss this some other time?” You answered him out loud this time, just to get your point across. You knew you’d have to tell him about your relationship with James, but you would much rather do it when the two of you are alone and not in a police precinct in the middle of a case. Before you could walk out the door and head to the crime scene, you heard someone calling your name. When you turned around, you found James walking towards you. “Great,” You thought.

“Hey, I’ll come with you guys to the crime scene, I haven’t been to this one yet. Plus, I’ll finally get the chance to catch up with Y/N here!” As he spoke, James’ arm found its way over your shoulder. You could practically feel Spencer’s anger. 

“Right, well, uh, let’s get going then. I’ll drive.” You subtly pushed James’ hand off your shoulder before speed-walking over to the car.

~~~

The drive to the crime scene was tense, to say the least. James had no problem filling the silence with anecdotes from your college days, which all suggested that the two of you were slightly more than friends. Sure, you and Spencer had talked about your respective previous relationships before, but it was a whole different ball game to be sitting next to your ex-boyfriend and your soulmate.

“Babydoll, you remember when we went to that frat party? We played strip beer pong, and let’s just say she was not very good at the game…” James went on and on, not stopping to let anyone else speak. All you could do was reassure Spencer with your thoughts, but he wasn’t responding. In fact, Spencer hadn’t let a single thought slip throughout the whole ride, and you were more than a little worried. A couple months ago you and Spencer had promised to not shut each other out, and this was the longest you’d gone without hearing any of his thoughts since then. Sure, it was only a 20 minutes drive, but you missed him. By the time you were pulling up to the crime scene, it was clear he’d had enough. The second the car stopped, Spencer practically jumped out and made his way to the crime scene, not waiting for you and James to follow. James took no notice, and continued telling his version of the story.

“And then you just jumped on the table and started dancing! I’ve never seen someone that drunk even be able to stand on a table without falling, let alone dance!” He laughed as the two of you made your way towards the police tape. “I could barely get you home that night!”

His last sentence made you stop walking. Unlike with Spencer, he noticed your movements, and stopped as well. “What?”

“That’s not what happened.”

“Of course that’s what happened, Y/N. You were drunk, you’re probably just-”

“No, that’s not what happened James. Yes, I danced on the table, but you didn’t take me home that night, remember? You met Joslyn at that party, and you broke up with me. I walked home alone.” The crime scene was the furthest thing from your mind at this point. How could he forget the night he met his own soulmate?

“Oh. Right. Joslyn.” It didn’t take a profiler to see how uncomfortable he was. He was acting like he didn’t even remember her. “About that…” He scratched the back of his neck, avoiding eye contact. He didn’t even need to finish the sentence for you to put the pieces together.

“Oh my god, she wasn’t your soulmate, was she?” The guilty look in his eyes was all you needed as an answer. “You just pretended she was so you had an easy out with me, right?”

“Look, Y/N-”

“James, it’s been a long time, I don’t need an apology from you. Let’s just solve this damn case and never see each other again.” And with that, you walked away.

~~~

13 hours of non-stop work and 3 kids safely home with their families later, you were back on the jet and headed towards DC. Everyone, even Hotch, was asleep, except for you and Spencer. You hadn’t had time to discuss everything that had happened with James, and he still wasn’t sending you any thoughts. So instead of going to sleep like you both desperately wanted, you pulled him to the back of the jet and away from the rest of the sleeping team.

“Seriously, Spence, I miss you. Will you please let me explain now?” You thought, hoping he’d respond similarly. Unfortunately, he just nodded, still refusing to let you into his thoughts.

“Yes, James and I dated back in college, but it was a long time ago, Spencer. He was an asshole. We were never even official, he’d just call me, fuck me, and then not talk to me until he felt like hooking up again.” Spencer was fiddling with his hands as your thoughts made his way to his brain. “Everything about that relationship was a mistake, ok? You know how he dumped me? He pretended to find his soulmate at some party just to get rid of me. I didn’t love him.” When Spencer still didn’t respond, you couldn’t help but feel a little angry. Was he really going to let some random ex get in the way of your relationship? 

“I can’t help it, Y/N.” When you finally heard his thoughts, you sighed in relief. That was the longest you’d ever gone without feeling his presence, and even though this wasn’t over yet, you knew you’d get through it. “I know you didn’t love him, but hearing the way he spoke about you, hearing about how you were with him…”

“I know, Spence. I’d be the same way if you had an ex pop out of nowhere during one of our cases. But please, we gotta be able to deal with this. We both had relationships outside of us, this could happen again.”

“Y/N…” He paused for a moment, then continued out loud, “I promise I won’t cut you out like that again. I know you didn’t love him, and I made a big deal out of nothing, but I love you.” Your eyes immediately found his when he spoke. He’d never said that before. He had a light smile on his face when you looked at him. “I love you, and I’m never going to stop.”

“I love you too.” You whispered, before pulling him into a kiss.

“I love you more.” He thought as your lips touched his.

“Not possible.”

~~~

Tags: @dr-reid-ismyspiritanimal @la-vie-en-amour1 @random-thoughts-003 @peculiarinsomniac @hereforbeebo @someone-you-dontknow

(I went through all the replies/asks that asked about being tagged for this series but if I missed you lmk!!)

[hopelikethemoon]

Title: ballet practice  Rating: PG Length: 2,200 Warnings: None. All fluff.  Notes: Please note that we’ve encountered a time jump. This ficlet is set in 1996 when Josie is 3 years old.  You can follow the timeline of Maybe Today, Maybe Forever here. Also, can I just how freaking hard it is to write them being genuienly happy? Not that it’ll last for long. Summary: I don’t know how to summarize this because it’s just fluff and amusement.  Taglist:  @grapemama​​  @seawhisperer​​ @huliabitch​​ @pedropascalito​​ @rogrsnbarnes​​@thewallpapergoesorido​​ @twomoonstwosuns​​ @gooddaykate​​ @livasaurasrex @ham4arrow​@hiscyarika​​ @plexflexico​​ @readsalot73​​ @hdlynn​​ @lokiaddicted​ @randomness501​​@fioccodineveautunnale​​​ @roxypeanut​ @just-add-butter​ @snivellusim​

“Mommy, my hair’s falling down.” Josie pouted as she tugged at the loose strands that she’d slowly worked out of her bun over the course of the fifteen-minute car ride to the dance studio. You sighed heavily, gesturing for her to come closer. “Thank you mommy.”

“Of course, baby doll.” You said affectionately, pulling a bobby pin loose and tucking it between your lips as you started to pull apart your efforts. Whoever thought getting a three year old to sit still long enough to get their hair slicked back into a bun had lost their damn mind. 

“You good?” Javier questioned, running his hand over the length of your back as he settled into the seat beside you. 

“Yeah.” You nodded with a smile. “Hun, you’ve got to hold still.” 

Josie stiffened at your words, “I’m sorry mommy.” 

“It’s okay sweetheart.” You offered, tucking another bobby pin between your lips. Javier gave your shoulder three little squeezes — a gesture that never failed to make your heart flutter. It had been years since the first time he silently reminded you of his love with the subtlest of touches. Something that used to get you through the hardest days of work when Josie hadn’t even been born yet. 

“I’m gonna hit the restroom,” Javier told you, leaning down to press a quick kiss to your temple before he headed down the hallway to the bathroom. You were keenly aware of the way the other mothers in the room watched him leave. You had to admit, the jeans made his ass look great. But they were also relentless women, despite the fact you were sitting right there. 

And it wasn’t as though Javier didn’t make it known that he was with you. If he didn’t have his arm slung around your shoulders, he had his hand on your knee, or his fingers interlaced with yours. Javi took full advantage of the fact that nothing about your relationship had to be kept under wraps anymore. 

“Hold still.” You reminded Josie as she started wiggling — never able to stay in one spot for very long. “Almost done.” You mumbled through the bobby pins as you peeled the hairnet off, resting it on your leg as you pinned her hair back down. 

When Javier returned from the bathroom the seat beside him was no longer vacant. One of the mothers — Missy — had uprooted her belongings across the room to slide into the spot next to him. You had met her husband once, at one of the girls’ recitals. Typical military type, and easy on the eyes himself. You had no idea why she was constantly in hot pursuit of Javi, except for the fact that Javi was… well, aloof was the best word for it.

You didn’t know anything for certain, but you sometimes wondered if the other mothers had some unspoken bet in place. Which one of them would manage to snatch up the Hot Dad at their daughter's dance class? A couple of them had caught you off-guard a few months back at the cookie table during one of the in-class recitals. They wanted to know all about why the pair of you weren’t married. Was there trouble? All sorts of bullshit no one had any right to ask another person when they just wanted to enjoy their Snickerdoodles. 

“Don’t you look pretty,” Javier told Josie as she showed off her new bun. “Now don’t you pull it down again. You’re driving mommy crazy.” He gave her cheek a playful pinch and she giggled and hugged at his legs. 

“Remember to work on your balance like we practiced.” You reminded her, leaning forward to press a kiss to the top of her head. She scampered off towards the studio with two of the other little girls that had been waiting for her. 

Javier leaned back in the chair, resting his foot on the top of his thigh as he crossed his legs. “I can’t believe how big she’s getting.” He remarked, rubbing the back of his neck as he looked at you. “Feels like just yesterday I was holding her in my arms.”

You nudged at his arm, “It probably was just yesterday. You’re always carrying her around.” 

“Touché.” He chuckled, rubbing his thumb over his bottom lip before he reached over and rested his hand on your thigh, giving it a squeeze. 

“I think it’s just darling how you are with her,” Missy remarked, but Javier didn’t seem to realize she was talking at him just yet. “It’s just so important for little girls to have bonds with their daddys like that.”

You covered your mouth as you stifled a laugh, rubbing your lips together as you met Javier’s gaze. Your brows rose upwards as you nodded your head towards Missy. “She’s talking to you.” You whispered. 

Javier glanced over his shoulder at Missy, his shoulders growing tense as he turned to speak to her. “Yeah, it is. She makes it easy though.” 

“She’s just the sweetest little girl.” Missy seemed elated to have his attention. “My Lily has been dying to have her over. Maybe you could bring her over  for lunch one day.” She looked at you then, “Such a shame you work. I’d invite you, but I guess Javi will just have to bring her himself.” 

“Actually,” He slid his hand up your leg to grab ahold of your hand, interlacing your fingers as he turned to meet your gaze. “You're free this Wednesday aren’t you, baby?”

“Yeah.” You grinned at him, before regarding Missy. “I actually only work a couple days a week, Missy. I’d love to bring Josie over.” 

“Oh,” She pursed her lips, folding her arms across her chest. “I’ll have to see if I’m free on Wednesday. How does Thursday look for you, Javier?”

Javi squeezed your hand, looking back at you again. “You’re off then, aren’t you?”

“I am.” You rubbed your thumb over the back of his hand. “Missy, give me a call on Sunday and we’ll set the playdate up.”

Missy frowned before quickly plastering on a fake smile, “Sounds like a plan.”

 ———

“Are they all that bad?” Javier questioned once Josie was loaded into the backseat and he started down the road towards home. 

“Hmm?”

“The moms.”

You snorted, “Oh, they’re ruthless.” 

“Jesus Christ.” He shook his head slowly. 

“I personally don’t get the appeal.” You quipped, leaning across the center console to steal his aviators off his shirt and putting them on. The evening sun was catching you right in the eyes through the passenger window. 

“Of me?”

“Mhm.” You smirked at him. “I mean, have you seen Missy’s husband?”

“Baby.” He huffed. 

You let his aviator’s slide down the bridge of your nose, peering over the top at him as he stopped at a light. “What?”

“That’s not fair.” 

“I’m just saying.” You shrugged a shoulder, barely able to keep from laughing. “And Tonya’s husband,” You pretended to fan yourself. “Yet she was all over me for information about you last week.” You cleared your throat, before imitating the woman’s nasally voice, “Where does Javi work? How did you meet Javi?” 

“I get it.” 

“Oh, wait.” You held up a hand. “What was it she said? It’s so nice of you to care for Javier’s daughter like she’s yours.” You gave him a droll expression. “As if that head didn’t come out of me.” You pushed the aviators back up to the bridge of your nose, looking between Javier and Josie, who had already fallen dead asleep in her carseat. “I mean she does look a lot like you.” 

“Nah, she’s got all her mama’s good looks.” Javier drawled out, glancing back in the rearview window. “Let’s rewind to what you were saying about Missy’s husband.” 

You laughed, sinking back in your seat. “He’s not really my type.” 

“What’s your type?”

You tapped your finger against your chin as you thought for a long moment. “I’m a sucker for dark hair and dark eyes.” You mused, chewing at the inside of your bottom lip. “A little grey is nice too.” You glanced over at him, a grin spreading over your lips. “A mustache. Very kissable lips.” 

“Sounds like a lucky guy.” 

“Just as lucky as I am.”  

 ———

You leaned against the threshold of Josie’s bedroom, watching as Javier laid beside Josie on her little twin bed, reading her a bedtime story. You had been insistent that she still needed a toddler bed, but Javier had convinced you that she was ready for a “big girl bed” Mostly so he could lay in bed with her and read to her. 

Don Quixote had proven to be a little daunting for a three-year-old, so he’d recently branched out into Read Along books — mostly Lion King, which Josie had recently become obsessed with. You had to admit, Javier did a killer Scar impersonation that would’ve put Jeremy Irons to shame. He did anything he could to keep Josie entertained and he was fortunate because everything he did became her new favorite thing. 

“You know, I was thinking...” You whispered as he closed Josie’s door shut behind him, lingering in the hallway in front of you. 

“Yeah?” His brows drew together. 

“I think I’m ready.” 

“For?” 

You sighed softly, “To try to have another baby.”

“Is this because Tonya thought Josie wasn’t yours?” He questioned, folding his arms across his chest. 

You had both discussed the potential of having another kid in roundabout ways over the years. Steve and Connie had adopted another little girl from Colombia last year — which had sparked a quiet desire to have two of your own. To have it all; the doting partner, the adoring father, the baby showers, the doctor’s visits. All the little things your pregnancy with Josie had been robbed of. 

You shook your head. “No, it’s not. I’ve been thinking about it for awhile.”

“So have I.” He admitted, pushing his fingers through his hair and curling his hand around the back of his neck. “I think we could handle a four-year-old and a newborn.” 

A laugh escaped you, “Yeah. I think we could too.” 

“And you promise this isn’t because of those dumbass women at ballet?”

“Oh, I mean…” You shrugged your shoulders. “I fully intend to flaunt it.” You gave him a sweeping look, “Because you’re all mine to have a family with.” You reached out and traced your fingers over the exposed skin where his shirt was partially buttoned. 

Javier let out a slow and shaky breath, one that seemed like he’d been holding it in for a while. “So this is happening?”

You nodded. “I’d like to try.” 

“Me too.” He looped his fingers into your belt loops, pulling you in to him so he could plant a kiss on your lips. “It’s going to be so different.” 

“I know.” You brushed your fingers along the column of his throat, leaning up to kiss him again. “I can’t wait to see how absolutely atrocious you’re going to be in public.” 

“Oh, it’s going to be bad.” He drawled out with a grin, bumping his nose against yours. “I’m going to drive you crazy, baby.”

“I expect nothing less.” You kissed him once more, letting your lips linger against his. “I bet you’re excited that you can talk to Steve about everything this time.” 

“Best damn part of this.” He teased, his hands curling around your hips. “Aside from the baby part.” 

“Just when I finally get back into shape.” You huffed, draping your arms over his shoulders. 

“You’re not going to hear any complaints from me.” Javier quipped, looking down at you. “I thought you were gorgeous when you were pregnant with Josie. Think you’re gorgeous all the time.” 

You ran your hand up the back of his neck, playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. “Josie’s going to be so excited when it happens.”

“You think?” Javier chuckled. “Though she might lose her mind over the thought of not being daddy’s only little girl.”

“It might be a boy.” You pointed out. 

“Steve will expect us to name him after him. It’s got to be a girl.” Javier made a disgruntled face. 

You laughed, slowly winding your arms around him and pressing your face into his chest. “I’ll stop taking my birth control tomorrow. It’ll take a couple weeks for the hormones to clear out of my system and then…”

Javier wrapped his arms around you tightly, leaning down to press his face into the crook of your neck. Who would’ve thought, way back when, that this was the man that would change your life forever. That made every day an adventure. Which wasn’t to say that he wasn’t an absolute asshole somedays, but you were well aware of the fact that you could also drive him up the wall too. You were perfect counterweights to one another. 

It was crazy to think that in just ten months you might have another baby in the house. 

Colombia felt like a lifetime ago already. The trauma of Josie’s birth — simply a whisper of the past. It wouldn’t be like that this time. This new baby would proudly be a Peña from the moment he or she was born. Javier wouldn’t have to hide his elation, miss out on the sonograms or the heartbeats. He wouldn’t have to slide out of your bed and leave you in the mornings or come home to you late at night.

You were stuck with him. Right where you wanted him. 

[alchemist-shizun]

Give my love to a shooting star

Read on Ao3!

Word count: 1,936

Pairing: Prinxiety

Warnings: there are a couple of swear words at the beginning.

Summary: During a night of shooting stars that isn't actually the exact one, Roman convinces Virgil to sneak out in the middle of the night to wish upon a star.

A/N: I will give a cookie to the first one that notices the meme reference. Guess who forgot about watching shooting stars on a certain night and wrote this three years later? To be honest I'm not exactly proud of my writing style in this one? It could have been better I guess?? Well, it was literally almost four am when I finished this, so that's the most I could do. (also i have no idea if the night of shooting stars is a thing only in Italy but if it isn't let's pretend for this one time.) That being said I hope you enjoy and I'll leave you to these fluffy pining idiots!

✾

❝ Let your colors burn and brightly burst

Into a million sparks that all disperse

And illuminate a world that'll try to bring you down

But not this time ❞

Virgil bolted awake to the noise of a loud thump he was sure he had heard and that didn't just come from his dream. Then again, his subconscious often found delight in messing with his perceiving.

He looked to his right, noticing an odd source of light from the corner of his eye, only to find it was simply his phone's screen that had lit up.

Had the power just gone out? Was that a thunder that woke him? There was no sign of raining outside, though. An earthquake then? Powerful enough to pull his charger's plug but not violent enough to make him aware of it.

Or maybe he was just too sleep drunk to think of plausible ideas.

He took the phone in his hands to check the time and, before he could even find the strength in his body to push a button, the screen lit up again.

He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion as he read the most recent messages that appeared on his lock screen.

Why the fuck was Roman texting him at four a.m. and how the hell did he know his name in fucking Cyrillic?

Virgil just scrolled through an entire list of variations of his name in different languages until he got to the bottom of the chat, a single plain line lying on his own text box.

Look out the window, Rapunzel.

After a deep sigh, a single “What?” escaped his mouth. He begrudgingly tore the sheets off of his legs and made his way towards the required location.

When he opened the windows to take a better look of the night outside, he thought he had been lucid dreaming, everything just felt too real and he could have definitely gone back to sleep.

But no, there he was. Roman. Standing in the middle of the front yard, fully dressed like he had to take a trip somewhere. Instead of being in bed, taking time for his beloved beauty sleep.

Smiling like the insane gorgeous bastard he was.

« I could literally sue you for trespassing. » Virgil whispered before Roman could say anything. « And I am really tempted right now. »

« How about, say, you come down here and you leave with me for a resplendent journey? » Roman parted his arms, showing him that trademark detestable smirk that never failed to give Virgil unwanted butterflies to fly around in his stomach. Who had even invited them?

« You've got to be kidding me. It's four a.m. »

« We don't need light where we're going. »

Virgil took a moment to consider. Yep, he was definitely lucid dreaming. Because that just now didn't make any sense.

« I expect you to be out in five, bring your hoodie since it might get cold. Just wear something comfy. »

As much as Virgil had wanted to ignore him and pass out on his bed again, he would have felt too bad to turn him down, so he complied (obviously taking more time than necessary) to the crazy dead of the night plan.

He didn't miss how Roman had beamed at his sight as he got out of the door and approached him and his car.

The ride only took a few minutes and a couple of “I can't believe you're actually making me do this” for them to arrive at their destination.

Even though all Virgil could see was a hill. More precisely, a hill in the middle of the absolute nothingness, where no other human being could be seen.

Roman pretended he didn't notice the puzzled expression on his face as he gently took his wrist and tugged him forward, silently leading the way up the hill.

« I feel like I'm in a teenage romance movie that was given one star by the majority of rating sites. »

« It's because you still haven't sensed the magic of the night. »

« Okay, hold on a sec. » Virgil held his hands up, causing his arm to slip away from Roman's grip.

They stopped, halfway through their climb.

« You've been acting weird all night and I'm too stupid to understand anything right now. There has to be a meaning behind this. »

Roman looked him in the eyes, barely able to recognize the color with only the moonbeam as a source of light. And sometimes that was all it took for Virgil to melt right on the spot.

« You seriously don't know? » despite them being the only ones around, his voice sounded so soft and quiet that Virgil wasn't even sure he had heard correctly.

Seeing that he wasn't going to answer anytime soon, Roman let out a small giggle. Not to scorn him, but mostly because he could understand how the situation might have looked ridiculous out of context.

Virgil didn't realize he was holding his breath when the other paced forward and deliberately took his hands. « Aw, come on Virge. » he started swinging their arms. « The 10th of August. The night of the shooting stars! »

« Uh … I'm pretty sure you just made that up. »

Roman dropped his hands and sighed, a playful smile on his lips. « It's an Italian thing, actually. They say if you look at the sky on the night of the 10th of August, you will see shooting stars! »

Seeing the excitement literally glowing in his eyes, Virgil almost felt bad for ruining the moment.

« Buddy, I hate to break it to you but … it's kind of already the 11th. » he made a face, as if he was bracing for impact while realization struck Roman. A myriad of emotions could be seen on his face, but the most imposing one was the one you felt when everything went downhill right after someone said "well, what could go worse?".

Before he started internally screaming, Virgil tried to restore the previous peaceful moment. « But, » he tentatively took a step forward. « we could ignore that and see if we're lucky, I guess. »

Roman beaming with pure joy was the best reward he could have gotten for saving the situation. « You're not mad I took you here in vain? »

« As I think I've already said three times, it's four a.m. » Virgil resumed his climbing, only to look back at his companion once he was some steps ahead. « We might as well make this count. »

Soon enough, he was reached by a satisfied Roman, stealing furtive glances at his side. And the moment he locked his arm with Virgil he totally did it for safety reasons. What if one of them tripped over and hurt himself? He had to be careful in advance. There was absolutely no other reason.

When heat rose to his cheeks, though, he remembered the balcony bit in which Juliet thanked the dark of the night so that Romeo wouldn't have been able to see her blush.

Not too long after, they made it to the apex of the hill: the lack of street lamps nearby and the cloudless night both contributed to making that the best spot to stargaze.

Roman sat on the grass already looking up at the stars, rapidly joined by Virgil, who shifted the hoodie in his hands.

In no time, both of them were lying down, their arms stretched behind their heads, elbows barely brushing.

« What if we fell asleep? »

« Then we're going to see the sunrise. »

« Don't tell me you set an alarm. »

« Maybe. »

Roman took his phone and earbuds out, holding one for Virgil, who inspected it unsure before accepting it.

He had no idea why he was so fixated on simply stargazing, looking for shooting stars that probably would never show up, but noticing how kind and soft Roman had gotten for the occasion made him feel like a kid discovering the world for the first time. It was an endearing sight and he was not going to ruin that anytime soon.

Virgil relaxed himself, he let one arm on top of his chest while the other one laid beside his head. His eyelids though, they felt heavy, and he was being lulled back to sleep by the calm melody playing in his right ear.

That was before he heard Roman's sudden gasp, before he pointed to the sky and called out his name.

« Virgil, look! »

He opened his eyes, to be met with the remaining of stardust fading away before he could find the shooting star.

Roman turned to the side for a moment and faced him. Virgil wasn't sure if the stardust had actually fallen on Roman and he was now glowing brighter than any constellation or if it was only his sleep deprivation pulling tricks on him.

Either way, he wanted to reach out and brush some off of his cheek.

« Oh my- another one! » this time, he couldn't contain his excitement and took Virgil's hand almost automatically, immediately lacing their fingers together. He brought their joined hands over his own heart, beating at the usual high speed of when adrenaline rushed over him.

Virgil stopped caring how many shooting stars he missed as long as he was going to have that sight for himself only.

There was a moment of silence as Roman stared at the spot where the second shooting star had fallen for them. He sat upright, his earbud falling at his side.

« I've been trying to do this for years. » he admitted, Virgil could hear the smile in his voice.

Roman turned to him. « For literal years I've been waiting for this little opportunity. » it was stupid of Virgil to hope that he actually meant something else. That he meant he had been wanting him for the same amount of time he did.

Virgil saw a third shooting star right behind Roman's head.

Their fingers were still intertwined.

Would it have been stupid of Virgil to make a wish, too?

Roman leaned down at a dangerous distance, placing his free hand beside Virgil's head.

« Did you see that? » his soft voice was replaced by a low whisper, as if he were more focused on the person in front of him rather than his own words.

Virgil fought the will to close the gap and, instead, raised his hand to brush off that stardust from his cheek that made him so stupidly pretty.

He couldn't find it in himself to admit he wasn't able to speak because every aspect of that moment made him breathtaking.

His hand lingered as he felt Roman lean in his touch.

When the leaning started to move down again, Virgil knew he was done for.

A shooting star could've been falling on their heads and he wouldn't have noticed. It wouldn't have fallen harder than they had been for each other.

He couldn't understand the lyrics in his ear anymore.

Roman brushed his lips, savoring the anticipation right before the bliss. Then he melted into it, with small, quick and uncertain pecks at first that grew into slow, soft reciprocated kisses.

As one broke apart, the other pulled him in again, they met halfway, untangled their hands and let them wander on their cheeks, backs, hair.

Both of them were sitting when they were catching their breaths, unable to stop smiling despite how much their faces could have hurt.

Roman gave a quick glance at the sky, before directing all of his attention again to the gorgeous and messy work of art in front of him.

« Did you make a wish? »

Virgil chuckled silently as he started to lean in again.

« I don't think I needed to. »

[sleepyxdarling]

Yoooo what the fuck!!! That wow don’t know what to say I’m horrified and intrigued to see all the other dudes backstories. After that I think I need fluff so can I get how the boys would court there darling. ❤️

I am for the fluff!

Yoshi

prince of tsundere is awful at compliments face to face so expect lots and lots of love letters

like lots of love letters! All the love letters

also flowers

And sour candy..oop

If you dont like sour candy then oops but he will probably still send them cause he bought bags of it and needs to get rid of them somehow

After endless amounts of letters and gifts he writes you a letter to ask you on a date

Mind you he never told you who he was or what he looks like

You could say no

Let's pretend you say yes for your sake

Date at a local fair

When he shows up he looks so adorable and handsome..but that mouth though

"hah? You look.."

He wants to say amazing and hot but...

"you look weird..oi it's chilly wear my coat"

It's not chilly at all but if you refuse

"you have sweat all over your back and it's gross! People are staring! You want to look weird just wear it!"

Total lie but you believe it

The date is just two talking but if Yoshi knows one thing..he spoils you

If you even glance at a booth

"you want it? Idiot..come on"

If it's a prize booth he is winning the biggest one.

If it's good he is getting it

Expect to hear him bitch bout it afterwards

"wasting all my money..god you are so needy"

When it starts to get darker you two sit at a bench eating a snack

Yoshi will kiss your cheek while you are eating

If you say something bout it

"shut up! Damn so annoying.."

Boy is really happy and will ask you for another date

Shun

However you guys meet doesn't matter..expect him to beg for a date

You will probably say no but that's okay

He will smother you with so many gifts that it's a little much

Haha so many flowers!

Like did he buy an entire store?!

So many expensive chocolate!

The biggest stuffed animals!

After so much begging you say yes

He buys out an entire theme park for a few hours

Just you two!

He drags you everywhere

"hey! Let's try this!"

"that looks yummy! [Name]! Let's share it haha!"

He is pretty exhausting to deal with

He is like a little kid

He will win so many prizes for you that you can't carry them so he has to put them in the car

You guys rode every single ride like twice

You guys are every single food there was to eat

At the end you both ride the ferris wheel and shun is cuddled into you half asleep from sugar crash.

Boy is clinging for dear life

"[name]...please.. don't let it end yet"

His cuteness almost murdered you.

At the end of the ride he is all drowsyand sleepy

"let's.. exchange numbers..okay?"

Ryuji

He is more of a nerdy crafty one

He made a rose bouquet out of book pages

Arts and craft for days

Be ready for ultimate romance

Will paint for you

All of them will be painting of you

When it comes to asking you out he will get his students to help

He will have them make paper hearts

Cue him asking you out by tossing them in the air

"love is in the air! Hahaha..haha...ha..please go on a date with me"

Cue a crafty date

Strap in cause you both are taking painting classes

Lots of dad jokes

Like so many..

He will be such a goofball and make you laugh

He is so nervous though

He will feel like the date wouldn't be fun for you

Are you having fun? Please say you are..his heart can't take it

Will be a wreck

Spills paint all over himself when he sees you smiling and having fun

At the end of the date he will give you his painting

It's the painting of the Galaxy

"we were supposed to paint fruits ryuji.."

Wait.. what?!

Well crap.

Cue him rambling about how he should have been paying more attention

One kiss on the cheek shuts him up

"thanks ryuji... it's beautiful"

Oh dear.. he's in love

Suke

Oh no..

He has no idea what to do

How does one create romance???

wikiHow does not help

End up giving you a bag of brightly colored feathers

Why?!

"male peacocks show off their feathers when they wish to court their mate..I do not have feathers. These are real peacock feathers..Should I have dyed my hair instead?"

Oh baby no..

Next day he gives you seashells

"they are the smoothest ones I found..I spent 12 hours on the beach searching for only the best ones for courting"

Maybe you should stop this..but you are curious what he brings next

The next day it's bones..suke why

He is all marked up

"i stole the bones from all the dogs in my neighborhood...dogs save bones cause they deem them valuable..I thought it will be a nice gift..was I wrong?"

You decide to accept his date before he brings the dogs next time or hurts himself more

Date at the beach!

He can't see you in a swimsuit but he figured you look amazing

Walking on the boardwalk!

Like the others he will try and buy you food and stuff

He kinda broke though

"i don't have enough money for the bus if I buy this..courting is expensive"

Buys it anyways

Walking on the sand is fun too!

As far as swimming suke is a little nervous but will do it if you go with him

After a bunch of fun you two sit on the sand and watch the sun go down

"the heat..is decreasing..we should head back"

Will walk you home fist even if it gets him lost

"i had fun..lets do this again"

Grabs your hand and kisses it

You don't know if you should kiss him back but you kiss his head

Suke tenses up but plays it off cool

He is so flustered that he runs into a pole..

This boy is whipped

Ryo

you got a favorite celebrity?

He will find out who and send you signed merch

You get all the atheistic pictures!

He will send you letters

He is a pervert and a dumbass though so very short letters

"you look hot- ryo"

Will give you a camera if you want one

Also VIP pass to see your favorite musical artist

His confession will be pretty lazy

Will give you a rock with writing on the back

When I say give you I mean he throws it at your window

He didnt think it would smash the window

Oops...

Well anyways you say yes..mostly cause who knows what he will do next

Date at the zoo!

Lots of animals! Yay

He takes lots of pictures

Is such a perv

"[name].. what color underwear you wear?"

Just when you are about to slap him he does some handsome shit

Cue him taking his hair out it's ponytail to fix it

He is so pretty...

Or he will smile and make a cute remark about an animal

Damn him

Honestly though if someone says something to you he will break their neck

"what a snacc they are!"

"oh so you've chosen death"

He will buy you one stuffed animal and one snack

He is not an atm

Near the end of the date you two take a seat and review all his pictures he took

"hey..this date was pretty cool..next time let's go to the aquarium"

You get a kiss on the lips

One quick yet steamy kiss

Cue him licking his lips and giving a perverted smile

"tasty~ i wonder if you taste this good everywhere"

"i..uh...RYO!"

boy laughs and makes his escape

Taro

Oh he is determined to go on a date with you

Is the only one to make house visits

"ive come to bless the house!"

"I didn't as-"

"BLESSING TIME"

he does this everyday...every single day.

It comes to a point where he pops up just to hang out

He comes up with an excuse though

"I bought these snacks and need someone to try them with"

"haha..I forgot my cross here"

After a few weeks to a month of this he comes up with one more excuse

"I got two tickets to an amusement park..I have no one to go with..oh noo.."

And that's how you find yourself wearing mouse ears while eating a mouse shaped waffle..

Honestly though it's fun

He isn't as energetic as shun but he is all for going on rides

He isn't going on roller coasters though

If you pressure him prepare for a different side of him to come out

"i said I'm not doing it."

Instantly feels bad so he goes on..

Is crying the entire time..like the entire time

Is clinging to you by the end of it

This does not stop him from riding other ones

"I have to redeem myself as a man! Let's do another one"

By the end of the date his head is in your lap cause he got sick

"[name]...did I ruin the date?"

"taro! Of course not.."

He sits up excitedly but accidently kisses your mouth

Cue him turning red and getting off the bench

Bowing x100

"I'm sorry! So sorry! So so so sorry! I can't believe I did this! Forgive me!"

He calms down when you hug him

"i had fun taro..lets do this again next time..okay?"

When you walk away he just falls to the ground laughing happily

He looks insane..

If someone looks at him

"the fuck you looking at?! Can I not be in love damn it!"

[drowzydruzy]

heart breakers chapter one

Hi! I finally want to post this here. very long chapter. slow burn. enemies to lovers. angsty.

Dib Membrane has a bright future ahead of him, but a red string of fate always tugs him back to the alien a block over. If only he hadn’t blown it.

The final summer had arrived.

Dib had counted the seconds until he could finally say goodbye to high skool and the horrible place it was. The future was coming, and Dib Membrane was out, that’s right, come fall the local paranormal investigator is going to the next city over to attend college and stay at the dorms. 

The letter had arrived last week, congratulating Professor Membrane for his son’s entry which wasn’t a shock since all the colleges only accepted him due to his father’s celebrity. It wasn’t like Dib had bad grades or anything, in fact, he had put extra effort into his final years grades because the last thing he wanted was to be riding off his dad’s coattails but like everything in Dib’s life; his father got a pat on the back even for Dibs own effort.

He would have cared more but he was going to be a freshman in a place where people didn’t think he was crazy, which was enough to distract the 19-year-old with thoughts of friends and possible relationships? although he did wish his major would be paranormal studies, but since that didn’t exist Dib stuck with space studies. He might not get to report on the paranormal right away, but he could try working it into his papers.

Dib knew when he told his father he’d be disappointed, it wasn’t what Membrane wanted him to do, which was taking over the company but to Dib’s surprise, his father was almost as excited as he was to hear about his choice and acceptance into the college. It made the 19-year-old smile proudly, his dad had really gotten better at the whole ‘being a dad not a scientist 24/7 thing’ since the whole florpus debacle.

Everything seemed to be falling into place, Dib had gotten the placement he wanted, his dad was happy, Gaz was part of a gaming club at high skool and was gaining attention on twitch for her almost completely silent game plays not to mention guys seemed weirdly drawn into how much Gaz seemed to regard everything with disdain. 

Admittedly the male attention had worried Dib a bit at first since he knew what the internet was like and he wasn’t sure he could cope with seeing random people being gross about his sister, but Gaz could handle herself and it was a fact. 

Dib had also managed to finally find a style he liked that didn’t get him patted down before he entered any public building, by the luck of some random god, ripped jeans and darker clothing had come back into style. He found it a lot easier to blend in these days than when he was a kid, Dib still loved his long jackets even though they looked a little sketchy sometimes.

New style, new start, new life, and Dib was more excited than ever, or he should have been. 

That’s right, he should have been over the moon right now since he was finally getting what he wants but that would be too easy for Dib Membrane. He can’t just live a normal life for two seconds. 

Instead of celebrating Dib only could think of one thing.

What about Zim? 

Who will be here to protect the earth?

What if Zim finally tries to kill us all and manages it?

The thoughts plagued his mind to the point where he almost ripped up his acceptance letter, Dib had announced to Gaz that he was convinced he wouldn’t go, that was until she yelled at him for being an idiot. Gaz had asked him when was the last time he even spoke to Zim? Let alone fight him over the safety of the human race? His younger sister had made a very good point. He barely spoke to Zim, not since prom anyway. 

Dib had felt embarrassed to have been so worried, but then every night came the same; Dib staring at the ceiling forcing himself to think of anything or anyone but the alien.

He couldn’t contain the loneliness that rattled in his heart, it was a hollow feeling laying at night listening to the silence of 4am wondering if Zim would miss him, which always made the human cringe with embarrassment at his own pining. Dib would always end up trying to force himself asleep clenching his eyes shut until his stubbornness won and he drifted off.

“You are lying too Zim” 

The voice was distant but happy, swirling in the darkness of the thick fog that stretched out in front of Dib. The human smiled but before he could speak, he heard his own voice disembodied in the distance talking for him.

“I promise I’m not, please trust me” 

The fog was thick, it smelled like candy raspberry pop rocks and something chemical but not unpleasant, Dib could write pages and pages about that smell. 

“I will try” Dib spent a moment lingering on the sound of the voice, the slightly bitter tone made him smile.

Suddenly the human could feel the ground shaking underneath him as the fog cleared, the owner of the voice was nowhere to be seen. The sudden rush of boiling heat made Dib scream, everything was on fire, the scorched earth cracked under Dib’s feet as he tried to outrun death. He managed to get far enough away where he could see standing on top a horrible machine; roaring with evil laughter was Zim. Dib choked on the smoke unable to stop himself shaking in terror.

“YOU DID THIS” Zim’s voice was like an earthquake.

The human jolted up in bed, the morning light was almost blinding through Dib’s shutters. There was a long moment of silence as he tried to regain his breath, these nightmares made no sense sometimes. Dib figured it must be all the pent of emotion. He glanced at the clock on the wall, seeing it was only 8am. Dib laid back down pulling his covers around himself, hiding away from the rays enjoying the darkness in his blankets. 

The 19-year-old’s mind wondered back to the dream, Dib thought of the alien for a long moment as he lay in his blanket cocoon, hidden from the world and from judgement as his mind swirled round images of the invader from treasured memories. The human frowned as he remembered how little they speak now, how when they pass in the halls Zim can’t even meet his eyes.

Dib wondered if Zim ever missed him, missed the fighting and the flying. The human’s ears turned red in the darkness of his blankets as he pictured it, the stubborn and angry alien thinking about him as much as he did. Dib felt the bone weighing loneliness slowly spreading through him as he thought more on his memories with the alien. He wondered if Zim ever did the same.

Dib peaked his head out of his blankets, realising he could already feel that the heat outside was trying to leak through his windows, the small room which Dib had covered in tech and alien-hunting gear was soon to be completely gutted and cleared for his departure. The boxes lay waiting, almost staring at Dib sometimes when he thought of packing, but he always put it off.

He shut his dark eyes, enjoying the quiet sound of his dad and Gaz talking downstairs, as the birds chirped outside. The mornings were always quiet, he’ll miss that the most since college were supposed to be a noisy, mess of filthy students all trying to pretend that they understand what they are doing but at least he won’t be the only one.

Eventually, Dib rose from his bed, loose pyjamas covered in various monsters from classic literature were shucked and thrown into the laundry as he got ready for the day. Dressed, fed and not sure if he’s ready for life yet, Dib left the house. The air felt dry and hot as he soaked in some of the sunlight, it was a strange feeling knowing that this would be the last summer he spent living here.

He was too busy fidgeting with his old blue ghost top, noticing the holes forming at the edge of the fabric that he didn’t mean to start walking to Zim’s home, but he did. They hadn’t spoken much over the last year or so, surprisingly the alien wasn’t as constant in his attempts to take over earth anymore.

After florpus the attempts at ‘taking over the earth’ became more like irritating pranks that didn’t make any sense. Dib had tried to talk to Zim like he was a person, but that was a mistake. He had said things he didn’t mean and it had become a huge mess that leads to tantrums when Dib even tried to speak to him, he always screamed about being able to do it ‘all on his own’ and that he ‘doesn’t need anyone to be Zim’.

The human never understood what was going on with him but after a while, he stopped trying to find out and from then on, their fights had gotten less intense. Zim wouldn’t fight like how he used too, something just wasn’t right. The thought of their old battled made Dib feel almost sad, deep down he missed flying after Zim into space, not a single care in the world.

Dib couldn’t remember the last time he went out of his way to go to Zim’s home, spying on the alien wasn’t a priority when he was having to work 20 hours a week during high skool to save up for the stuff for his dorm not to mention his books. The drift between them wasn’t deliberate but it was inevitable, Zim just wasn’t as big a threat as he was when they were kids.

The human stopped outside the small house that had wired itself into the neighbours surrounding it oh so long ago, the gnomes that stood guard as always were weather-beaten and didn’t pack the punch they used too. Dib paused in his thoughts, why was he sad about that too? That’s a good thing! The 19-year-old side heavily unable to ignore the gathering tightness in his throat. He watched the house for a long moment before something compelled him to move forward, to just go and knock the door. Dib felt his fingers twitch but something in his gut caught him; like crossing a road just as you see the car coming, he jerked back and turned towards home.

 The emotions that came with what could happen if he passed that fresh hold of that house were too confusing and way too deep for what this was, he was always going to leave, and Dib shouldn’t care as much as he does. Zim most likely would celebrate him leaving, laugh in his face and announce victory before running off to destroy the world at last without Dib’s interference. 

Not that Dib gave a shit how the little creature felt, not that he looked so much like a creature these days. The rise in area 51 memes meant everyone started making alien jokes at skool, Zim didn’t seem to care until someone made a joke about his green skin and that was all it took for him to freak out. It was too close of a call; he couldn’t have people comparing him to aliens. 

Dib could only watch with utter glee when someone made the comparison but Zim had rushed out the second the kid spoke, Dib had tried quickly to get everyone thinking about what it means that Zim ran out after being called an alien but like always he was ignored. 

Zim had spent a week out of Skool, refusing to come in even when Dib was banging at his door. It wasn’t until 8:54 am on Tuesday, not that Dib kept this date in his head or anything that Zim finally showed. 

It took the human longer than it should have to notice it was the alien, his green skin had been swapped for a tan complexion, his black hair remained the same, but the eyes didn’t look like fake doll eyes anymore they were realistic although still violet. It was shocking, but so fascinating at the same time to Dib. He couldn’t stop himself that day on complementing Zim on his work, one of Dib’s first mistake.

Dib quickly stopped thinking about that day, that day was just too weird, and it made him uncomfortable. He inwardly wished Zim would have gone back to his old look, but he never did. He hated how much he forgot Zim wasn’t human when he looked like that.

“MARY!” A loud, high pitched voice squealed making Dib jump.  

It to Dib’s surprise was Zim’s robot, something he had barely seen for the last couple of years. The human grimaced down at Gir who was eating what looked like a taco that had been stuffed with octopus. Revolting. Dib not to gag at the smell coming from the dirty dog costume. 

He wondered why he smelled like a burning car as he carefully stepped back trying not to get within grabbing distance to the robot, he tended to leave stains that don’t wash out.

“Get away from me” Dib hissed walking quicker away from the house. “Why are you HERE? YOU WANNA PLAY WITH MASTER”

 The shrieking that came from the robot made the 19-year-old’s teeth stand on edge. Did Gir always sound like that? He halted looking down at the unusually still green dog.

“No, I’m just…walking and enjoying the nice day” Clearing his throat Dib glanced back at Zim’s home, watching it for a second wondering about Zim “Why? Where is the reptile?” 

“I dunno where he is! I puts him in a box but he always escaping, BUT I LOVES HIM!” 

“Urgh no! not your dead iguana” Dib groaned, pulling a hand down his face. “I MEANT WHERE IS ZIM?” He didn’t mean to shout, but he wasn’t feeling up for Gir’s usual behaviours. 

“Oh!” The little robot stared at him for so long Dib felt his anxiety double, he gritted his teeth kneeling and giving it a poke, which resulted in a string of an unknown goo connecting his finger to the robot’s chest.

“Are you finally shutting down?” He asked grimacing as he wiped his finger on the pavement. “Hello? anyone in that hellscape of a motherboard you call a brain?” Dib waited in silence for a moment before Gir’s mouth fell open and four lizards crawled out. 

“I see you in my nightmares sometimes Gir”

The robot only laughed.

Dib sighed getting to his feet, noticing that Gir’s dog suit was smoking slightly. The human turned the small robot around quick which he regretted as soon as he did. Gir was boiling hot under his suit, the robot was usually warm but never like this. Dib blew on his hand feeling a sudden worry grip him, he guessed with the heat and the suit the metal wasn’t really dealing well. It would also explain why Gir wasn’t really moving. The heat must be frying his circuits. 

“Of course, and Zim is nowhere around” Dib was so sick of having to deal with Zim’s messes. “Gir? Are you overheating?” Dib kneeled again, watching the robot as it blinked up at him.

Suddenly the eyes of the dog suit glowed red, a trait Dib often forgot Gir had which made the experience terrifying every single time. The robot saluted Dib, its arm making a horrible crunching sound.

“Status report! MAIN CORE, overheating 81%, 84%, 87%-” Dib watched mouth agape as the eyes changed back “I GONNA EXPLODED”

Dib who had fallen back onto the hot pavement gawked at the robot for a long moment, suddenly scrambling to his feet Dib grabbed up Gir. The heat radiating off it was unbelievable; almost like when you put a bowl in the microwave too long. It was burning his hands in seconds; the human removed his thin black hoodie placing it over his hands as he scooped up the dog and bolted towards the house.

“ZIM! YOUR DOG IS GONNA EXPLODE” He shouted praying that wherever in the house that irritating monster was, he’d hear him and come take the robot away and let him burn his hoodie in peace.

Dib had kicked open the door, the gnomes behind him missing and sparking as he skidded into the base. The door slammed shut behind him, and Dib caught the eyes of Zim who was stood in the kitchen not wearing his disguise with a spoon hanging from his mouth and an ice cream tub in his hand. The irken looked shocked, completely stiff as Dib stood there.

“DROP THE BENNY AND JEFF’S” Dib rushed forward, pushing the robot to Zim who was still staring at him. “IT’S URGENT”

The tub splatted to the floor as the human dropped his burning hoodie down beside it. Zim looked down at Gir with confusion before seeing his condition, he snapped out of it.

“Give me that!” Zim’s voice boomed, Gir was swiftly carried to the fridge and stuffed into the freezer. “He will be fine, he literally bathes in boiling poop cola” Zim’s hands didn’t even burn when holding the robot, it was such a weird sight.

There was a pause as Zim didn’t speak, standing in the kitchen watching Dib who didn’t know what he was waiting, maybe a thank you?  Dib felt his face reddening. The human couldn’t move from the spot, he knew he’d never get an apology, but he still felt owed one.

Dib watched as the alien sneer at him and couldn’t stop himself, feeling a sudden wave of self-righteous rage rise within him, he was so sick of Zim never taking responsibility for anything. What if Gir hadn’t been found in time? He didn’t even want to think about it.

“Don’t tell me what to do alien!” Dib spat back at him once the shock had worn off “I’m not the one letting my robot run around overheating, we both know he could easily blow up half of the city if he did!” 

“Don’t try and lecture me HUMAN, he is fine! Like Zim said Gir has handled worse” It was a matter of fact the way Zim spoke, always implying Dib’s an idiot, it made him grit his teeth in frustration. “Go pack for your stupid baby ghost cult or whatever”

Dib was about to dish out another insult before he paused, raising an eyebrow at the alien who was sneering at him and knawing at the popsicle.

“Are you talking about scary camp? I only did that one year…” Dib forgot about that, the summer he and Zim spent at camp together.  “I’m not 12, I’m getting my stuff for college later today”

The invader almost dropped his popsicle.

“College?”

Dib watched as Zim’s eye’s scrutinised him with the same fire he’d seen a long time ago, he felt excitement and fear like he had lit a fuse.

“Yeah…I was gonna mention it eventually since we have um history and stuff” Dib felt sweat beading at his temple, that was a very weird choice of words Membrane. 

The silence wasn’t what Dib had expected, Zim who had been in the process of devouring the popsicle by biting off pieces with his teeth and chewing like the horrible little creature he was, hadn’t moved a muscle. Zim blinked at him almost like how Gir had until it suddenly warped into a look of mild amusement.  

“There’s no college in our town stupid pig stink” Zim snickered and spat his stripy thin tongue at him “Zim doesn’t fall for your little dumb lies”

“Not lies, I’m not going to college in this town…” Dib spoke slowly, an uncomfortable feeling in him began gnawing at his stomach. “It’s a college that’s only three hours away, so it’s not a big deal”

The smug smirk was slipping off Zim’s face, Dib felt something tugging inside in chest, something that was telling him to comfort the alien but as soon as the human got close Zim almost fell trying to back away. Dib felt his throat tighten but he ignored it. The invader suddenly burst into a strained laughter, shaking his head at Dib who just looked as bewildered as he felt.

“WAIT! It’s one of those human, lie, joke, thingies I hate” Zim laughed but it didn’t sound right, Dib felt himself squirm slightly with guilt, he didn’t understand why. 

“It really…not” 

“It is”

“Zim, I’m sorry I didn’t know how to tell yo-”

“Why would you need to tell Zim?” 

The alien looked frantic but in his own unbelievable ‘I’m not frantic at all’ way, Dib couldn’t hold back the panic in his chest as the unwelcome feelings towards what this could mean for them devoured his mind in ways he only let happen at night when he could let himself think about it, but this was all too overwhelming.

“I should go, I haven’t even started packing yet-” Dib’s voice was weak before Zim suddenly lashed out at him, aggressively moving toward him.

“I’m going to blow up the whole of this neighbourhood with splodie gel pizza” He was lying and they both knew it, Zim was now clawing the air with rage, his antennas pulled back 

“Did you know that Dib? DID YOU? NO! Because you don’t speak to Zim, you spend all day at that filthy jurb.”

“Job,” Dib interjected meekly.

“ZIM DOESN’T CARE” The alien looked like he was hyperventilating, the feeling of dread was rising in the human. He shouldn’t have come here; he could have waited longer. “ARE YOU THE DECAF? CAN YOU NOT HEAR ZIM, I’M GOING TO KILL EVERYONE DIB”

“Okay but you haven’t hurt anyone but me in years…”

“I’M GOING TO KILL-”

They spoke almost in unison, but Zim cut off and suddenly Dib realized that was the wrong thing to say as soon as the words left his mouth. Zim’s murderous expression slowly slipped off his face, it was replaced by something that looked like a betrayal as his shout died in his throat.

“Zim isn’t a threat anymore hm?” The words clawed at Dib’s insides; he really thought the alien would have laughed but this was worse, so much worse. “Is that why you ignore me now? Is that why you stopped fighting Zim? You ABANDONED me and now you are running off further away” 

“I did NOT abandon you” The 19-year-old was baffled by him, his hands shooting out at his sides as he gestured wildly. “I haven’t done ANYTHING wrong; you are always so manipulative! you NEED to be the one wronged, but I didn’t stop fighting either, you where the one who backed off”

“That’s hilarious, Zim backing off? What on irk would make ME do that? That is utter lies, stupid lies” Dib curled his hands into fists getting into his face.

“It’s lies huh? Then where did the plans go? HUH? Where did all the organ harvesting plants, zombie virus outbreaks, people devouring monsters, mass-murdering plots go HUH? HUH?”

“I used to fly into SPACE after you, run after you as far as you’d go to stop your stupid schemes that always, ALWAYS lead to me getting hurt or worse! But I still chased you, so what happened?” Dib’s chest ached painfully at the memories; space was all he ever thought about. 

“BUT WAIT I KNOW!” He continued, eyes burning hot with tears as he desperately tried to hold himself together. Dib knew he couldn’t get deeper into this or he might end up regretting it, but he couldn’t shut up. “Your leaders vanished, you lost your mind, I didn’t want to be involved and then I got a job and you lost your edge”

Dib was panting, breathing faster than he ever had as the shout left burning heat in his throat, he had gotten into Zim’s face as quickly as his anger had risen, the rage he had bottled away had festered into something ugly and painful. He hated that it always seemed to be only Zim who could get him to open, but like an infected wound inside Dib was just poison.

The irken was watching him with his narrowed fuchsia eyes, his sneer showing his teeth. Dib tried to keep getting angry but something in him faltered for a second as he realised Zim was shaking.

“Zim I-”

“Why did the evil Zim do any of that to this innocent human? Hm? Why would I try and kill you when I hadn’t tried anything that serious in a while, oh! what happened to Zim’s plots? Hmm?” 

The alien acted like he was genuinely thinking about it, like it was some sort of game show and not a conversation about feelings and events buried so deeply in Dib’s stomach that he thinks he might’s vomit.

“Please don’t do this”

“No Dib thing, shut your mouth! you asked Zim what happened to all of my amazing plans and plots? But you were there!” The irkens pak leg extended from his back, Dib didn’t even notice until he was pinned against the wall painfully. “You seem to forget something, Dib! You stopped fighting first, so you tried talking to Zim remember? so we talked, then we made a plan…”

“Let go!”

“I should really say you made a plan, Dib.”

The hurt in Zim’s voice was something that threw Dib off completely, they shared a long stare. Dib’s mind screamed for Zim not to mention what he could see was burning behind his eyes, he didn’t want Zim to talk about it. Dib felt heat seeping through his skin, agonizing shame.

“Zim waited for you in the woods for so long” Zim spoke slowly, painfully. 

“STOP IT”

“Does the Dib not remember what was said? what YOU promised?” Zim began, the human grabbed at the pak legs desperately trying to pry them away from himself but as soon as he touched them Zim moved a spare under others chin threateningly.

Dib didn’t want to think about it, he was stupid and made a terrible choice all because he thought earth didn’t deserve protection anymore. He was so beaten down, so tired of begging for everyone to open their eyes and look at the truth, the world didn’t want the truth. He knew that now of course, but back then it had taken its toll on him and he made a deal he shouldn’t have.

“I told you it was a mistak-”

Dib’s words died in his throat when he felt Zim’s pak legs let go of him, the invader watched him for a long second before shaking his head.

“A mistake was ever letting you near Zim” His voice was heavily laced with malice as he walked towards the fridge to get transported to the base. “Get out before I put a blaster hole in that massive head of yours”

Dib didn’t need to be told twice; he was gone before his mouth could say something else stupid. Zim had been bottled up in the human’s mind for a while since prom he couldn’t let himself get to close again. Dib had hoped to avoid the memory, but it was haunting him.

[imyourliquor-youremypoison]

Anniversaire (Klaus x Reader)

Anniversaire (noun; French)  /a.ni.vɛʁ.sɛʁ/

Someone’s date of birth. (ex: Happy birthday!)

A date that celebrates a meaningful event. (ex: It was their tenth anniversary.)

Synopsis: Post TUA No Apocalypse!AU in which Y/N is Klaus’ childhood best friend. Even when he lived far away from the Academy, he always took time out of his doubtlessly busy schedule to celebrate her birthday. It’s their tradition.

Word count: 11,3k (May I suggest you settle somewhere comfortable?)

A/N: As always, there’s some slight physical description for the third person reader, because it was written with an OC in mind. Either ignore or enjoy.

MASTERLIST

“My birthday party,” she grumbled and reaffirmed her grip on his arm. “Birthday, my ass! This rather looks like your party,” she accused a very much inebriated Klaus slouched against her.

She wasn't frail but Klaus was tall and not exactly a lightweight either. The walk was a slow and tedious one for (Y/N), who had to drag along her friend's heavy, useless carcass out the back door of a clandestine underground club. Trust Klaus to know the existence of this place.

Klaus' half conscious mind tried to force his feet to move and help (Y/N) in her endeavor, but they weren't very synchronized, if at all, with her steps. He mumbled something against her shoulder and (Y/N) acknowledged him with a hum but did not answer. What was there to answer to an incoherent mumble anyway?

He could feel the alcohol course in his veins and still felt hot all over from the stifling, humid air of the club where he had dragged his best friend for her birthday. After twenty-two years of knowing each other, he was starting to run short of ideas. It was easier making shenanigans when they were kids, they could get away with a lot more than now. Hell, he was lucky (Y/N) was always up for whatever foolish, crazy plans he came up with; she never shot him down for being too childish or silly.

He suspected she sometimes only agreed to make him happy; Klaus didn't have a lot of people in his life who put his happiness before their own, especially on their birthday. His (Y/N) was something else.

(Y/N) wasn't really into big celebrations but they usually did something with just the two of them. Stuffed their faces with Agnes' donuts, booby-trapped Diego's entire bedroom, tried to sneak into the sacra-saint office of his now dead father, or – now that they were adults - just sat at a bar and pretended nothing else existed for one evening. Not his powers, not other people around them, not all of this constant noise.

They had met in rather unusual circumstances as children, and were quite inseparable since then. Klaus, of course, did not stay at the mansion much longer than he needed to, especially not with his abusive father looming over his shoulder all the time. (Y/N) did not enjoy watching him turn to drugs to drown out the white noise and to escape his reality, nor did she like hearing he had skipped town from one day to the next.

She would have liked a goodbye.

But he always came back and that's all that mattered. Of course there were the occasional surprise visits whenever he was close-by and felt like saying hell, but more importantly, he came back for a very specific occasion. For her birthday, every year for the last ten years, he had shown up at her doorstep bright and early, somewhat sober, and told her to get ready, chop-chop, because he had planned the whole day for them. It usually turned into a long week-end - whether or not her birthday was on a week day did not matter at all to him - and (Y/N) learned to take sick leave for a couple days after the first two years.

How long would it take for her boss to figure out that she was “sick” every year at the same date? Time will tell.

This year's celebrating wasn't particularly inspired as he had only meant to bring her to a club and dance the night away. At the beginning, she had indulged him, because his father's death anniversary – and the family reunion that goes with it - had taken place only a week before and he had struggled to push through without turning back to drugs, so his mind must have been elsewhere. However, (Y/N) could not keep up with his drinking, and she soon realized she might have to be the one who stuck to water in order to make sure the other one would go home safely.

There was no doubt in her mind that Klaus had been in worse predicaments than simply being drunk at a club and unable to go home – she knew for a fact that he had slept in back alleys before and wasn't afraid to do it again. During Sir Reginald Hargreeves' lifetime, any place was better than the damn academy. Then again, (Y/N) wasn't as adventurous as Klaus, and a soft mattress was a must to end the night.

When she reached the corner of the street, (Y/N) was sweaty and felt damp all over. They both smelled like the bottom of a tequila bottle, but she hoped someone would still let them climb into their car. She hailed a cab, with Klaus still leaning on her like the passed out idiot he was, and the man in the driver's seat shot them a nasty look, but she smiled kindly and he reluctantly nodded.

Thank the fuck. She wouldn't have been able to haul his ass all the way back to the academy and she did not want to try sleeping in a trashcan. The ride was silent except for Klaus' barely audible mumbling in her ear and snuggling against her like she was his favorite pillow.

“Happy 28th birthday to me,” she grumbled and rolled her eyes when he began to snore loudly, his hair tickling her cheek.

Ben sat riding shotgun, smiling to himself while he watched them in the rear view mirror. She couldn't see or hear him, though she was aware of him following Klaus around pretty much all the time.

“Happy birthday (Y/N),” he said, and disappeared. He wasn't needed tonight, Klaus was taken care of.

*

Why was that house so damn big? There had only been the ten of them who lived here, so what were all 42 bedrooms for? Why did she have to drag Klaus' limp body through an unnecessarily big house? And why on earth was his room all the way to the back? He was just lucky she could navigate through the many corridors and didn't get lost thrice before finally seeing the door to his bedroom.

“You are so damn heavy, you know that?” she asked him, if only to make conversation for herself.

Unexpectedly, he answered, “Hey! I can hear you! 'm not fat.”

“Must be the weight of your idiocy then.” She shook her head and kicked open the door, nearly losing balance and falling over, Klaus and all. She could have blamed it on her short stature, but elected to blame Klaus' tall figure instead. “And for heaven's sake stop leaning on me you jerk, or I'll drop you right there.”

He did somewhat relieve her of some of his weight but she was still navigating them both through the mess on his floor. Why did he have to live in this garbage?

“I don't feel so well,” he admitted, his head hanging on her shoulder.

“That's what you get for charming almost everyone in this club into buying you a drink,” she huffed with a laugh.

She couldn't remember how the topic first came up but she bet Klaus that he wouldn't be able to seduce a really hot girl into paying for his drink. He wasn't one to back out of a challenge, especially if a free drink was on the line, and he did get the drink, much to (Y/N)'s bafflement. He didn't stop there though, and serial-flirted with every single soul who dared come near him until he was too drunk to even dance anymore.

So this was really all his fault if you thought about it, because (Y/N) only challenged him to win one free drink, not ten.

“But I feel really awful,” he insisted, nudging her a little to make her pay attention.

“I bet you do. Also, eww, your breath smell like death, man!” She scrunched up her nose and waved her hand before her face to dissipate the smell. “We can't put you to bed like this. Bathroom first.”

“Why is the room moving?” Klaus slurred out the question just when (Y/N) opened the door to the bathroom across from his room.

Hadn't she carried him around for a lifetime already? That was that for her weekly exercise, no need to go to the gym this Tuesday. The bathroom was cold and dark. She was always taken aback by how uninviting this manor was. It was so richly ornate, so vast and in-your-face that one would think the rooms where at least heated correctly. But a shiver ran down her spine when she took the last few steps towards the single chair sitting next to the tub.

(Y/N) dropped Klaus on it, then she stretched her back with a delighted groan when her joints cracked a little. Ah yes, she could finally stand upright. When she lifted her arms to stretch, she realized that she didn't smell like roses either, but this was due to carrying Klaus around, she was sweating now.

A quick shower would do her good once she had taken care of her sleepy best friend. He was very pale in the face and rocking between sleepiness and exhilaration. Kneeling down, (Y/N) placed her hands on Klaus' knees and shook him a little to gain his attention. She did not expect what she got instead.

Klaus toppled over and before she could process what he was doing, she felt a distinguishable warm, sticky substance spill on her thighs.

“Fuck! Klaus!” she shrieked, forgetting about anyone else being in a nearby room, asleep. “What the hell?!”

After all she had done for him tonight, he just barfed on her jeans? And the stench... She was going to be sick too. She quickly grabbed a towel and wiped most of it off before discarding said towel. They had enough bathrooms anyway, one missing towel wouldn't be the end of them.

“'orry, s'rry,” Klaus was muttering, barely audible over the sound of (Y/N) fuming and cursing tequila.

She wiped him clean as best she could; her jeans would have to wait until she was done with him, even though it disgusted her. The stench was plain unbearable. Klaus regained some colors, which was the only plus side to this debacle.

“We'll see how sorry you are tomorrow morning,” she snapped, throwing a towel to his face – albeit a clean one, she wasn't like that. “I wish you a hangover!”

“You don't mean it,” he laughed a silly kind of laugh. His upper body was slowly leaning towards the left until (Y/N) stopped him from falling over and sat him upright again.

“C'mon now,” she sighed and took the towel from his hands. “Let's get you cleaned up and call it a day. You know, we're getting too old to party like that. I don't know how you keep up with this lifestyle.”

“I don't,” he blurted out, staring straight at her, sounding more sober than she had ever heard him. “But tonight's your birthday,” he added quickly, breaking into a sloppy grin again, making (Y/N) wonder if she was staring to mishear things because of how exhausted she was.

“Yesterday, actually. It's well past three in the morning.” He seemed to have fallen back into a half slumber, so she added, “Clothes off now!”

He didn't need more convincing than that and allowed her to remove his jacket and shoes, tossing them in a corner. Then she handed him a glass of water to rinse his mouth. This required a little effort from him and he swallowed some wrong and ended up coughing for a solid minute.

“Nearly there, now be a dear and use this mouthwash, because you reek or liquor and puke,” (Y/N) said teasingly, though Klaus was too far gone to notice her playful tone.

He obeyed and when she was satisfied he wasn't too smelly anymore, she nodded to herself.

“Shirt off,” she ordered, holding out her hand. The task was a tedious one but Klaus finally handed the sweaty shirt over and she tossed in the same corner as the rest of his clothes. “Now the pants, and then I'll let you sleep.”

Part of her was glad he was too fucked up to see the blush on her face when she said that. It really shouldn't be there, they had been friends forever and there was nothing she hadn't seen already. But removing lace-up leather pants was an entirely different ordeal than taking off a t-shirt, and Klaus groaned in protest.

“Don't be a baby, Klaus! I wanna go to bed too!” He wouldn't do as she said, so she made him stand up. “I can't believe I'm doing this!” she grumbled to herself, counting on the fact that Klaus wouldn't remember anything that happened tonight once morning came round.

Otherwise, God forbids she ever did what she was doing right now. Her hands fumbled awkwardly with the front laces of his pants and she had to admit it was quite the task. No wonder Klaus didn't want to do it, even she struggled to open them.

“Mmmhm,” Klaus let out a sort of giggle, sort of sigh. “What are you doing, (Y/N)?” His voice shouldn't have been so deep, it made what he said sound sexual.

What was she doing, indeed? Fuck that! He would just have to sleep in his dumb leather pants! She gave up on the task and left his pants half open at the front, raising both hands in the air as a sign of defeat.

“Nothing!” she told him, running a hand through her hair. “Let's get you to bed.”

The short distance between the bathroom and his bed was much more easily covered than their walk here. Klaus fell heavily on the bed, face first, and crashed into his swarm of pillows. Would he be able to breathe like this? (Y/N) briefly wondered. Well, he survived up to his thirtieth birthday without her checking if he wouldn't stifle in his sleep. She shrugged and returned to the bathroom to take a rapid shower. She had deserved it.

Once clean and smelling like Klaus' coconut soap, she hopped out and dried herself. No way she was going to slip into her disgusting clothes again! Her jeans were done for, she would have to burn them. She put her underwear back on and made her way to Klaus' room wrapped in a towel, then she searched through a drawer until she found a shirt that looked clean. This would do.

And finally, blissfully, (Y/N) went to bed too. She pushed Klaus over to make room, and slipped under the covers, passing out almost instantly.

*

Klaus was the first to wake up, and he was extremely confused by everything he saw. First of all, he tried to remember what happened last night. It was (Y/N)'s birthday, so they went out, obviously, but where? How long? What did they do? Oh God, what did they do?

When he startled awake, he first thought he was cuddling his bolster, but it moved and pillows usually don't move. His eyes opened, and he realized his arm was wrapped around (Y/N)'s middle, pressing her back up to his chest, and their legs were sort of tangled. Immediately removing himself from her, as though he had burned himself, Klaus's eyes widened in shock. What the hell was this? What happened? He had clearly spent the night nuzzling (Y/N), why didn't she just push him off the bed?

Having been in this sort of situation before, Klaus' first reflex was to lift the duvet and check what he was wearing. A sigh of profound relief fell from his lips when he saw his pants were still on. But- wait. The front laces were... undone? And (Y/N)'s pants were gone altogether!

His brain slowly powered up while he blinked away the remaining traces of sleepiness. If he based his reasoning on his current position, last night must have seriously gone off the rails. How drunk had he been? Surely he had known worse, because he wasn't too hangover this morning. He had never made a move on (Y/N)! What could have happened that made him do it last night? Why did she let him?

Oh fuck. He couldn't think about this before coffee. He needed coffee. Thank the fuck for Number Five who brought caffeine back into this house after their father's death. May the old prick rest in pieces.

Klaus sneaked out of bed without waking up his friend, grabbed a clean shirt, and headed downstairs. Yes, coffee first, dealing with his drunk-self's decisions later.

*

The house wasn't as full as it should have been so soon after their reunion – a real joke, if you asked Klaus. He had come because the timing was great, he had planned on flying over to see (Y/N) anyway, and this time Allison had paid for his trip because she wanted them all to be together.

She was the first to go, soon as the last toast had been given, she'd flown back to her life of glitter and gold. Luther hung around for no other reason than he did not know what else to do. Ever since getting back from the moon, he had been aimless. Number Five was stuck in a fifteen-year-old body and could not go live on his own yet. He lived in the academy all year round, and sometimes Diego came too. He was on the move now that detective Patch was dead. Vanya lived nearby but she didn't stay too long, the place held bad memories for her.

Klaus hated the academy, but it was still his home. He didn't have a place of his own like (Y/N). Coming was no choice for him, it was the only thing to do. At least Grace and Poggo were happy to see him.

He had been sitting in the kitchen, his right leg nervously jumping up and down, eyes wide open staring ahead of him while he bit the nails of his left hand and held his third cup of coffee in the right one. His memories from last night were still hazy at best, he did not remember much apart from getting a lot of free drinks, and dancing with (Y/N).

The logical thing to do was to wait until she woke up to ask her directly, but Klaus wasn't known for making rational decisions. Were it anyone else, he would have bounced the moment he woke up. Shit. He had done so well all these years, being the best friend, never crossing the invisible line, why'd he have to mess up now?

“How much longer are you going to be like this?” Number Five asked from his left. He was reading the newspapers, not even looking up as he asked the question.

His question did not even register in Klaus' brain. Five looked at Luther who sat across from him.

“I think someone broke Klaus,” he told the number one.

Luther grumbled something about it not requiring much given the state Klaus was usually in, before grabbing his bowl and putting it in the sink. Just when Luther left the room, (Y/N) swooped in, looking refreshed despite their late night activities – Jesus, it sounded so bad, even in his head. She was basically at home here, and knew her way around the house, greeted everyone like they were family.

But when Klaus saw her walk in wearing nothing but one of his shirt and underwear, he nearly tipped his chair over. Some steaming coffee spilled over the edge and burned his hand right when (Y/N) greeted them.

“Good morning,” she cooed, stretching like a cat when she stood in front of the counter, probably thinking about what she wanted to eat for breakfast.

Klaus' appetite had yet to make an appearance today. His eyes were glued to her until he realized he was staring a little too hard too long at his best friend's butt. When he turned his head back, he caught Five sending him a suspicious look through narrowed eyes.

“(Y/N)!” Klaus couldn't help but exclaim. Both Five and her stared at him curiously, waiting to see what he wanted to say. “There's a child in the room, have a little decency, please.”

Five rolled his eyes and his attention went back on the newspapers. Meanwhile, (Y/N) smiled wickedly and slowly turned back around, taking extra care to show her backside while she leaning forward to place two slices of bread in the toaster. This usually would have made Klaus laugh, even if it was tainted with longing, but after last night, it just made him swallow hard.

“Five is two times you age,” she pointed out. “Also, how's the hangover, Klaus?” Her fingers were tapping along to some imaginary tune against the counter while she waited for her toasts to pop up. (Y/N) then hopped on the counter and sat there, a butter knife in her hand. She began to unscrew the pot of raspberry jam.

“Not in this timeline,” he argued. “And I replaced alcohol with coffee, I'm fueled up for the day,” he assured her, lifting up his cup. “Don't remember much though.” Except his vague memory of (Y/N) fingers tugging at his pants to undo the front lacing, and some other flashes of disturbingly enticing memories.

“You're shaking, how many have you had?” She pointed at his left hand and Klaus had to admit she was right, it was shaking slightly. It took some focusing to steady it but he shot her a confident smile.

“Two.”

“Four.”

Klaus glared daggers at Five for betraying him like this; Five looked totally unfazed. The toaster dinged then, and Number Five folded the newspaper and stood up.

“If you'll excuse me, I have better things to do than sit here and watch you two make small talk to avoid the tension in the air.” Klaus was so going to get back to him for this, child or not. “Nice seeing you, (Y/N). Catch up soon.”

“The tension in the air?” (Y/N) repeated to herself, wondering what Five meant by that. She bit in a toast and walked to the table, sitting where Five sat only seconds ago. He sure as hell did create tension with his comment, but the air had always been clear between Klaus and her.

“Did we sleep together?”

Klaus' question came just as (Y/N) was about to take another bite from her toast, but instead it fell from her hands and landed on the wrong side on the table. What kind of question was that? She always crashed in his bed whenever they came back from a night out. It was how they did things, it had been this way since the beginning.

“Yeah,” (Y/N) answered with a shrug. “I mean unless you woke up on the floor, in which case I'm sorry for pushing you out of bed.”

Ignoring her humorous comment, Klaus gasped and nervously bit his fingers. She frowned but elected not to make anything of it. It was Klaus after all, he must still be out of it from last night. He poured her coffee in a robotic manner, as if it was born out of a reflex more than an actual intention, like when some people walked all around their room when they made a phone call, because moving helped them think.

“Why aren't you wearing pants?”

(Y/N) groaned before taking a sip of coffee. “Oh, thanks to you my pants are lost to the world! There's no getting them back. I was hoping you would lend me something to wear.”

Klaus nearly had a stroke, picturing the two of them bumping from wall to wall along the corridor leading up to his room, kissing feverishly and scattering clothes along the way. Speaking of, where were his clothes? He put on a shirt before going to the kitchen this morning, but he didn't forget that he woke up half naked, cuddling his equally half naked best friend in his childhood bed.

Why was she acting so natural around him?

“My closet is your closet,” he answered, somewhat mechanically too.

He saw the way she frowned at him before attempting to pick up her face-down toast. He watched her dip her finger in the jam on the table then lick it clean a few times, he closed his eyes right before the sight turned him insane. He could feel his body react to her; the mixture of apprehension and this enticing sight made him all kinds of confused and horny.

“I think I need a shower,” he stated and stood up quickly, before (Y/N) could catch sight of his current state. A cold one.

“You sure do,” she agreed and nodded without detaching her eyes from her newly jammed toast. “I'll be going home soon, but I'll see you again before you leave, right?” she asked hopefully, a second before Klaus stepped out.

He wanted to turn around to tell her this face to face, but he really had to get out of here before she saw what she did to him.

“I think I'll stay a bit longer.” This came as a shock to (Y/N), whose lips parted slightly, asking a silent question. “Can I come by tonight?”

She nodded, a smile on her face.

*

Klaus' head had been a mess all day. Especially after he got out of the shower and found (Y/N) in his bedroom, putting on a shirt he had once stolen from Allison. It was all too much and the cold shower he had taken minutes before did nothing for his hazy memories and slight dizziness.

In the evening, when she opened the door and saw him standing there, grinning wider than the Cheshire Cat and looking twice as mad, (Y/N) she was in for one of their endless contemplative conversations. She popped out some fancy glasses and mixed them each a cocktail, and off they were to her fire escape stairway. Access to the rooftop was banned since her 25th birthday, the year Klaus thought he would surprise her with fireworks. It was a nice idea, worth being forever banned from up there. So the stairway was the next best thing.

Immediately after they downed their drinks, Klaus' mood shifted and he blurted out the last thing (Y/N) expected. She had noticed how frantic he acted this morning, and was hoping he would be back to his normal self by tonight, but he clearly had something to say. It wasn't always easy being a Hargreeves, this wouldn't be her first improvised therapy session, except they usually only started after the fourth drink.

“(Y/N), I see dead people,” Klaus breathed out as if it were a hush hush secret and not a widely known fact.

“I know Klaus,” she laughed and tipped over her empty glass, watching the melting ice cubes swirl around.

“You don't get it.” He shook his head, his fingers nervously tapping against the railing. “I see everyone, the living, the dead, hell why not throw in the undead too? Sometimes I'm not sure who is who. I'll be talking to someone and I won't realize they are dead until I catch other people staring at me like I'm a freak,” he began rambling, staring off into the night. (Y/N) didn't dare interrupt. “I am, aren't I? I'm a freak. Why would someone like you stick to my side for so long? It makes no sense, so what proof do I have that you're alive and not some ghost following me around?”

(Y/N) extended her hand for him to take, except Klaus, in his state of existential crisis, did not take it right away and simply started at it like he had never seen a hand before in his life. (Y/N)'s nails were painted black because he had done her nails last week, for the memorial, though the polish was chipping off now, and the pure silver ring Klaus had once gifted her as a diploma gift was on her right middle finger.

He tried to remember a time when she wasn't wearing it but couldn't come up with anything. (Y/N) had been wearing it day in day out since he gave it to her – both as a way to celebrate her passing her exams and also to stick it to his old man. It had been a very lavish and expensive gift whose real value was known only to Klaus himself because he knew (Y/N) never would have accepted it otherwise.

His eyes moved back to her eyes. They shone bright like uncut stones, and her rosy cheeks swept by the evening wind made her look terribly adorable. She rolled her eyes after a while and simply grabbed his hand in hers. For whatever reason, he seemed taken aback. As if he had expected her hand to go right through his.

“You can touch me,” she told him, a slight blush warming her faces. True, he had developed the ability to physically interact with Ben now, but he had always been able to touch (Y/N), from the very first moment they met and he had grabbed her arm to pull her out of the way just when a car came crashing into the front façade of a pawnshop. Good times. “And your family see me too.”

“Right. But it still doesn't explain why you stick around. I'm a mess!” He laughed a sad, hysterical laugh that broke her heart, his eyes glowing under the harsh light of the nearby streetlamp. “You should have left years ago, when I started using. Do you know I don't even remember a bunch of your birthdays because I was so high? Who does that? Who celebrates their best friend's birthday high off their ass and forgets about it afterwards?”

He had abruptly let go of her hand. It hurt to hear that some memories that she cherished weren't shared, but (Y/N) never blamed Klaus for trying to escape his distorted reality any way he could. Doing drugs wasn't a good solution, but if he hadn't found a better one yet, who was she to try and force him to face his demons? She had always thought that he would do it in his own time, when he was ready. And he did.

“It's more complicated than that. I know that you-”

“It really shouldn't be. I should have been there - and I mean really there - for you. Why did you wait for me? Even when I left town, you waited for me.”

His sputtered out sharp, accusing sentences; his breath was short, erratic, a bit like when he was coming down from a high. But this wasn't it. Drugs didn't have anything to do with this.

(Y/N) found it difficult to swallow and it took her a little while to decide on the right thing to say. Her feelings for Klaus had always been a touchy subject, but so far he had never questioned their relationship – they were simply the bestest of friends, and that was that.

“I don't know what else to do,” she admitted, feeling the emotion built up. This really was a bad time for her, she becomes weirdly emotional after nightfall and even more so if she drank on an empty stomach. “If you weren't a part of my life anymore, I'd have a huge gap to fill. I look forward to seeing you show up at my door every year for my birthday. You never give me a heads up but I wait for you every damn time. There's no one I would rather get stuck on a deserted island with. You're my ride or die person.”

“I'm not reliable. Ask...” He gestured vaguely. “...literally anyone.”

“You've never let me down so far.” She shrugged. “The rest doesn't matter to me. Now stop questioning my reasons for sticking around. I love you Klaus, what else is there to say?”

He couldn't do anything but stare. (Y/N) wasn't a coward but her courage deserted her suddenly and she had to look away, ignoring his hard stare on her, willing her face to stay cool. Ben was glaring a hole into the side of his head and told him what he had been repeating Klaus all day, slowly driving him insane.

“Tell her. Tell her you love her too.”

Klaus would've told him off or hissed at him if he wasn't hyper aware of (Y/N) patiently waiting for an answer. What he settled for was even worse.

“Your mistake,” he eventually said before letting his head fall back. It was meant to be funny but it came out the wrong way.

“Are you fucking kidding me!” (Y/N) shouted all of a sudden, stung by his comment. “You are one whiny bitch, do you know that? Just accept that you're stuck with me for the rest of your life and move on, because I'm not turning my back on you regardless of how much you bitch about it.”

“You said 'bitch' twice,” he pointed out.

“Yes but one was a noun and the other was a verb.”

“I still don't get it,” he insisted.

Ben scoffed and turned away, as if he couldn't bear to witness Klaus' stupidity in action any longer. Klaus had to admit – at least to himself – that he was being stubbornly dumb with (Y/N). He didn't really know if he wanted to make her mad so she would leave him alone like he deserved, or if he was in complete and genuine denial of his own feelings.

“I don't get how gravity works but you don't see me floating away,” she replied, her tone settling down and getting relaxed again. “Whether you believe or not doesn't change the way things are. This ain't Neverland.”

There was a pause. She waited for a reaction. Klaus rubbed his hands over his stubble.

“I don't understand this reference,” he admitted, very begrudgingly.

“It's from Peter Pan, Klaus! How do you not know that?” (Y/N) raised both hands towards the sky in frustration but her smile betrayed how she felt.

“I've had a pretty rough childhood,” he chuckled as if it was an inside joke. Reluctantly, (Y/N) joined in and they shared an understanding look. “I feel like I lost the superpowers lottery,” he added. “The award for the worst superpower goes to Klaus Hargreeves.” A humorless chuckle. “I can't do anything with it. Nothing heroic at least. I can ask David Bowie if he likes my outfit before going out, but that won't save anyone's life.”

“You saved my life,” (Y/N) reminded him.

“We saved each other's life, it's a draw,” he shot back, frowning as he usually did when (Y/N) brought this up. It had happened eons ago, they were children for fuck's sake. “I couldn't protect you today. I'm not strong, I can't travel through time and space-” he paused, his eyes glazing over for a second as he no doubt remembered Dave, “or force people to do as I say, I can't even throw knives. Anyone can throw knives! You even don't need powers for that, but I still can't do it.”

“I don't need protection.”

“You will if you insist on staying in my life. Trouble always finds us - it finds me,” he added the last part a bit more quietly. “Trust me, I tried to outrun it for years.”

“I don't remember a time in my life when trouble didn't know exactly where I was and when to knock me off my feet,” (Y/N) assured him, setting her empty glass down now. She felt she would snap it in two if she kept twirling its stem between her fingers. “Whether you were there or not.”

“I know you're talking about your time in college, but that's just how college is I think,” Klaus chuckled. “Not that I would know, but that's what I've heard.”

A sad smile etched on (Y/N)'s lips forced Klaus to be serious again.

“It's not just that,” she told him quietly. “Also, you would've loved college. I know you're smarter than you let on, and it would have bought you four years away from the academy. Four years of absolute madness with Yours Truly.” She gestured at herself, grinning bright and wide.

“See? You should have listened to me, that's exactly what I told you ten years ago,” Ben added, much to Klaus' annoyance.

He didn't like when his brother meddled with his conversations with (Y/N), especially not if he teamed up with her against him – she didn't need that kind of support, she was right most of the time anyway.

“I would've blown it. I don't do well with authority,” Klaus argued, mostly to deflect Ben's argument than (Y/N)'s.

Ben huffed and disappeared again. Good riddance, don't come back before I go home, Klaus thought. Just because he's dead doesn't make everything he says cool and mystical.

“Whatever you tell yourself to feel better,” (Y/N) chuckled and grabbed a beer from the edge of the window behind them. “You look a little... off, Klaus. What's bothering you so much? Been seeing more ghosts again?”

“No, I mean yes, but that's not why I'm weird today,” he fumbled with words, pressing the cool beer bottle against his forehead to calm the whirlwind of thought in his head. It was just (Y/N), there was no need for such anxiety. “I don't understand how you can be so relaxed about it.”

“About what?”

“Don't act like you don't know!” He pointed an accusing finger at her and (Y/N) stared at it with wide, confused eyes, blinking slowly.

“I don't know what you're on about, dude. Is it something that happened last night?” A light bulb seemed to light up above her head suddenly. “Did you finally remember how you barfed all over me? Wasn't your most brilliant moment I have to say.”

“I did what now?” Klaus asked, baffled. “No, I don't remember that, and I sure hope I never will.”

“Then what's gotten your panties in a twist?” (Y/N)'s frustration was growing. If he didn't tell her right the fuck now why he acted like that, she would have to tease it out of him some way or another. “You are testing my patience, I can only handle so much nonsense, you know it.”

“Don't I,” he whispered to himself. “You know what? You're right, I'm being dumb. It's not a big deal, we're adults.”

(Y/N) frowned deeper, not having a clue what he was raving about, but deciding she was going to wait until he finished another beer to push the matter. His mind was clearly a mess, who knows if he even knew what he was talking about? Let's change the subject.

“You know, I'm glad this year's celebration was on the legal side, I really didn't want to be arrested again, and if we can avoid any and all near death experiences in the future, that'd be cool too.”

“Yeah,” he drawled out. “I thought we'd go back to classics this year,” he told her. “Since you vetoed all the fun stuff!”

Last year had gotten out of hand, which prompted (Y/N) to set some ground rules for future birthdays and other celebrations.

“I trust you to make even a plain, boring night at the club special,” she assured him, stroking his ego like nobody's business – it wasn't like anyone else did it anyway, his head would still fit through the door in the morning. The other umbrellas and his father always underestimated him. “I've never spent a dull evening with you.”

“So many compliments! Are you trying to get into my pants, (Y/N)? Because that's exactly how to do it.” He poked her cheek when her dimples showed and (Y/N) gave him a pointed look.

Yes, this was easy, this he knew. Just act normal, Klaus buddy, and she'll never know how freaked out you are about spending a night of drunken passion with your best friend, thus defiling your childhood bed.

“I'm way out of your league, man,” she scoffed in mock disdain and turned away from him. “You'd be lucky to get a hand job out of me.”

“Do I hear a challenge?” he asked immediately, jumping to the occasion to tease her further – he knew exactly what it took to make her turn beetroot red in the face. He liked how she tried to hide it behind a curtain of her dark hair. However, he knew he was treading on thin ice, and he had to keep himself in check if he didn't want to fall through.

“No, it's not Klaus!” she fired back, turning red alright. “It's a hard fact.” Fact, my ass. It wasn't even true. “Beer won't do if that's where the conversation is going. I'll be back.”

She climbed back into her living room and disappeared from sight. Klaus let out a sigh and looked into the night. It was mostly silent tonight, except for the cars driving by and the light music (Y/N) put on for background noise.

What kind of a mess had he put himself into? And fool as he was, he kept digging deeper and deeper. He needed to watch his tongue and stop making innuendos all the time. But it's what he usually did, so wouldn't it be weirder to simply stop? Would (Y/N) notice? Well, of course she would, she knew him better than anyone, except maybe Ben, but this was merely due to his ghost status that rendered privacy nearly impossible. Geez, did this mean that Ben saw the whole affair? Klaus dry heaved at the sheer thought that his brother had seen (Y/N) and him in action.

Also, if he couldn't remember shit about it, than it wasn't fair that Ben got to.

“Hey!” (Y/N) called, and Klaus felt something cold and damp against his arm. It was a glass of what he assumed was a gin tonic that she pressed against him to make him snap out of his bubble. “Are you going to take it or should I dump it directly into your mouth?”

God, he thought, accepting the glass but not taking his eyes off her, maybe Ben was right.

He squinted his eyes when he realized she was holding something else, a piece of paper, or was it? He couldn't tell, she was clearly trying to hide it in her palm.

“Since we're already on the subject of sensitive topics, I have a question for you,” (Y/N) told him as she sat down, her arm grazing against him and her eyes meeting his. “I've been meaning to ask you for a while now, but it never feels like the right time.”

He wasn't very good with social cues most of the time, but he had learned to pick up (Y/N)'s. Right now, he knew she wanted to have a serious conversation, her eyes told him so. It prickled his tongue just to know that for once he wouldn't be able to joke his way out of a situation, he would have to answer her truthfully, whatever she asked.

Neither of them drank the gin tonic she brought. (Y/N) thought it might give her a bit of courage if she drank before diving in the great unknown and asking the question that burned her lips. But she felt she might become sick if she so much as brought the glass to her mouth. She set it down on the iron railing.

Soon enough, her eyes prickled a little. Damn, why did she have to be so emotional after dark? It was exactly like when she was little and spilled all her secrets to her friends during a sleepover – the next day they told everyone who her crush was. Guess (Y/N) hadn't learned her lesson yet. No, she wasn't going to cry. She wasn't. Klaus' eyes were still glued to the side of her face, waiting for the anticipated question.

“Why did you leave, Klaus?” Even her voice was full of tears, but she somehow kept them from falling. Her eyes were trained on the photograph in her hands – an old picture of Klaus, Ben and her that Allison had taken a few weeks prior to Ben's death.

It was then that Klaus had fallen well and good into self-medication, and she knew she had lost him, she had seen his departure the following year coming from a mile away. Though it didn't hurt less when he disappeared without a goodbye.

“You know why.”

(Y/N) laughed a little. Klaus rarely used this serious a voice, she must look a fright if he didn't try to tease his way out of her questioning.

“That's not what I'm talking about.” No, she wasn't talking about Klaus skipping town at age twenty because he couldn't take the abuse anymore and still grieved his brother. “Reginald is dead. Why'd you leave last year? I thought you might want to settle down somewhere now that his influence can't reach you anymore.”

He shook his head and resting his elbows on his knees, burying his face in his open palms.

“This house isn't home. I don't see his ghost but his bitch ass haunts the place as sure as I am the hottest sibling. I can't even sleep in this house when you're not here,” he scoffed and slammed the full glass on the ground too.

It took (Y/N) aback. She blinked away the remaining tears and a put herself together. He still couldn't sleep. How did that affect someone's daily life?

A childish, idealistic part of her wanted to tell him to come live with her. He knew he was always welcome, she never rejected him. But the adult part of her knew it wasn't that simple. He couldn't spend his life on her couch.

He could just sleep in my bed though.

No, she shook the thought away, that was just plain stupid. The silly, naive teenage girl she never truly stopped being clung to an old hope. She had to let go of this.

“Sorry,” she muttered, feeling the ridicule of her sudden outburst now that it was over. She hadn't gotten the answer she was hoping for, but at least she would wonder anymore. “I ruined the mood, didn't I? There was a time I wasn't so serious, see what happens when you're gone too long?”

Shit. She closed her eyes and kept them tightly shut for a second. That wasn't the right thing to say. It came out all wrong, but Klaus still huffed and laughed.

“You mean you becoming boring? Tell me about it, I should take you out of this soul-sucking city before it's too late.”

(Y/N) thought she might like that.

All night they talked, and talked, and talked, but now once did Klaus mention what really bothered him. (Y/N) sat and listened to his jokes and his stories about Five going through puberty again and she laughed with him and huddled under a blanket with him when the night became too cold.

Yet he still would spill the beans to her. It was the first time she felt as though he was withholding information from her, that he didn't just refuse to talk about something, he refused to talk about it with her. Made her wonder if she did something wrong. The only reason why he would hide her something was if she was the source of the problem.

It pained Klaus to see her wait in expectancy all night, hoping he would open up to her. But the more he looked at her – really looked at her, her shining eyes, her smile, the way she shook her head when he told her something funny – and the more he realized he was living a lie he told himself. Ben had always been right. But (Y/N) couldn't know.

So she obliviously kept laughing with him, hoping that whatever preoccupied him so much would soon be dealt with, one way or another. God knew how long he was going to stay this time.

“... I mean, adolescence sure doesn't sit well on Five, he's been insufferable since I suggested he bust a nut to unwind. Something about cheating on Dolores,” Klaus kept going on and on. “Can you imagine? How long will it take for him to recognize I gave him valuable advice? Even you and I did it the other night, and we're fine as fiddles.”

(Y/N) blinked slowly, feeling a wire snap in her brain.

“Wait, what?”

*

(Y/N) didn't have a superpower. Or maybe she did, only different from the kind of power the Umbrellas had. Klaus wasn't sure. All he knew was that she made things go quiet and he needed that in his life.

When she was sitting next to him the dead didn't come too close. When he held her hand he didn't hear their heart wrenching moans. And the best part was that she didn't even realize, she just hung out with him because they were friends.

One day, he mused, Luther said something in a fit of anger that Klaus hadn't forgotten since, despite the years. He told him that he used (Y/N) for his own benefit and that he would step out of her life if he cared for her at all. That was shortly before Klaus skipped town and became a regular at rehab and the ER.

But he couldn't stay away, he couldn't abandon his best friend. He came back at least once a year for her birthday and tried to come by as often as he could without relapsing. Yes, he was a shitty friend, but he tried. And once a year, for a few precious hours, he was at peace.

He already lost his love once, he won't let it happen again. There was nothing he wouldn't do to keep (Y/N) in his life. Sometimes he still thought of Dave, of course. It lasted a flicker beat, during which he wanted to reach for the dog tags - except they weren't there anymore. He had kept them, put them somewhere safe as they were precious memorabilia, but they were no longer part of his everyday attire.

At the beginning he needed to feel them again his chest, they grounded him while he mourned. But over time they began to hang heavy around his neck, weighing down on him instead of helping him keep his head out of the water. That's when he decided to take them off, as painful as it was. Dave was in the past, far, far away in the past, and he was dead. How long could Klaus hold onto the memory of a dead person before it drove him crazy? He was unbalanced enough as it was, no need to add to it.

But as recalled holding (Y/N) against his chest, he thought maybe there was still hope for him. Maybe all the good parts of him hadn't died with Dave in Vietnam. It wasn't her job to fix him, obviously, Klaus knew that, he was aware he couldn't rely on her to fix himself. Perhaps though, waking up next to her and seeing her smile was all he needed to give him the courage to get better. The strength to get out of bed and not dread the day ahead. Maybe he had found a secure place for his heart again - he knew she would take great care of it, she always had.

He shook his head.

He was just putting the cart before the horse. Who said she felt the same as him? Sure, he thought that she act strangely calm after their drunken “hook up”, but he knew now that it was all in his head. She acted normal because nothing happened. She made it very clear that nothing occurred between them, so much so that Klaus would have taken offense if he wasn't busy feeling all kinds of other troublesome emotions.

This was giving him a headache. He had been hiding in his room like a teenager for days now. A few horrendous, boring, restless days during which he barely got any shut eye, for various reasons.

For now, he would enjoy his bath, but how long until (Y/N) barged in here to demand an explanation?

*

“Where's Klaus? He's been avoiding my calls,” (Y/N) asked Poggo the moment the large double doors opened.

He gave her a crooked smile, and made a slight head movement to the left. She sometimes thought Poggo knew when she was going to come before she even took the decision. She thanked him and stormed in, heading straight for his room and banging on the door. No answer. Her hand flew to the handle and she burst in uninvited. No one. Fine.

There was only one other place he could be if he wanted to avoid people and that was the bathroom. This time (Y/N) did not even knock and simply waltzed in, shutting the door behind her so abruptly that Klaus nearly dropped his headphones in the water.

“(Y/N)! You scared the shit out of me!”

Did he just... summon her? No, that didn't sound right. It was a mere coincidence.

“You should've answered my calls, it would've spared you a heart attack,” she replied, walking straight to the tub he was soaking in. “What's the matter, Klaus? Just say it so we can move on.”

“It's nothing!” he exclaimed, his voice too high pitched to be telling the truth.

“I don't believe you.”

“Just tell her. You know she won't drop it,” Ben told him with his usual 'I am full of wisdom' voice.

They would really need to have a conversation about how dying doesn't make you smarter or give you permission to spy on people's bath time.

“I know!” Klaus shouted at Ben.

(Y/N) took it for herself.

“Then why don't you spill the beans? I'm not going to judge you, whatever it is. Have you had a relapse?”

“No...” Klaus rubbed his eyes both his thumb and pointer finger, feeling tired already. It was barely past noon and he wanted nothing more than find cover in his bed.

“Why are you hiding it from her? Maybe she loves-”

“Shut up!” Klaus yelled, his head snapping to his right.

“Wait, is Ben here?” (Y/N) asked. She knew how much Klaus hated to have more than one conversation at a time, what with ghosts always trying to get his attention. It made it hard to focus and that's what made him turn to drugs in the first place. “Do you mind? It's rude to eavesdrop.”

Ben smiled even though she couldn't see it. She was standing there, fists on her hips, trying to look stern while Klaus sat naked in the tub, unable to avoid this conversation. Reassured that he would not just jump out of the water and try for a run, Ben nodded.

“You can't avoid this anymore. It's long overdue anyway,” he told his brother right before leaving them alone.

“He's gone,” Klaus informed (Y/N).

His shaking hands removed his headphones and reached for the window's edge to grab a cigarette. What had him so nervous? (Y/N) grabbed the lighter and lit his cigarette for him before he burned himself or dropped it in his bath.

“Please, Klaus. I'm getting worried.”

Her eyes shone in the bluish light filtering through the opaque window. He couldn't resist those big puppy eyes. (Y/N) sat down, back against the side of the tub. When his arm extended over the edge to hand her the cigarette, she took it and placed it between her lip.

“Is it something I said? It's not still about last week, is it? I told you: we didn't sleep together like you thought we did,” she said, blowing out smoke and watching it swirl skyward and dissipate before hitting the ceiling. She handed it back to him but he didn't bring it to his mouth.

(Y/N)'s gaze got stuck on his goodbye tattoo.

She, too, had been thinking over and over again about their conversation. When he admitted he thought they had spent the night together, she was taken aback. So much so that her first instinct was to deny vehemently, maybe too much even. It didn't come from a bad place, she was just surprised and shifted into her default denial mode. Whenever someone asked her if Klaus and her were a thing, she flipped and sputtered out something about male and female friendship being possible without developing romantic feelings.

Truth was, it was possible. It simply wasn't the case for her. She had always had a thing for Klaus, and she always thought he was aware and elected to ignore it for the sake of their long standing friendship. She realized how she felt upon seeing the enormity of the emptiness in her life, right after he left.

More than once, (Y/N) almost took a leap of faith and confessed, but they saw each other so rarely already, what if he simply walked out of her life for good after that?

She was blind and that was it. They were already so far from each other on a daily basis, she had nothing to lose, nothing at all. If he didn't share her feelings, they would still have a whole year to put that behind them and get their friendship back on track for her next birthday.

(Y/N) took the cigarette back. Klaus still hadn't answered her. Her fingers lingered on his hand and slid towards his tattoo, circling it.

“You surprised me, to say the least,” she started, still wondering what she was going to say next. Sometimes autopilot was the best option. “On the one hand, I'm glad we did nothing because you were drunk out of your mind and would have forgotten it all – which honestly would've crushed my self-confidence – but on the other, I think it would make for a memorable birthday present.”

It sounded better in her head. When she looked up, she met his eyes and it nearly broke a dam inside her. He looked so vulnerable, so heartbroken. She hadn't seen those eyes in years – or so it felt – and they rendered her helpless. (Y/N) swallowed, unable to look away, trapping by his big, glossy eyes.

“Don't say that,” he breathed out. She barely heard it, as if he was talking to himself and not to her. But she did catch his words and they burned in her mind.

“I am saying it. We've been together for so long now, I should have said it eons ago and not wait for a dumb misunderstanding before finally telling you.” He was so silent, everything was silent, almost like they were alone in the house. A shiver ran down (Y/N)'s spine and her heartbeat picked up its pace. “Say something, Klaus. Anything.”

“I hate this place.”

Well, it wasn't what she was hoping for, but at least he said something.

“So?”

“So I hate coming back. It makes me feel wrong, it's like a poison,” he tried to explain, finally freeing her from his gaze.

“Maybe you shouldn't come back then,” (Y/N) said, feeling herself growing sick.

“I can't,” he admitted, his voice desperate all of a sudden, breathless almost. “I can't stay away, as much as I hate it, I have to come back, because you're still here. And I can't leave you.”

It was difficult holding up his gaze now. What was he saying? Why couldn't he speak plainly? Then again, neither could she. It was so hard putting yourself in a vulnerable position – it was like exposing your neck to a hungry lion and seeing if he would bite you or spare you.

“I can't live without you.” His confession hit her like a thousand bricks, knocking the air out of her.

“Why does it make you so sad?” (Y/N) pushed.

“I already told you. I'm no good, I can't protect you, I'm a forever work-in-progress, you'll nev-”

“Don't presume to tell me want I am, or want, or need, Klaus,” she warned him before he could go any further.

“I can't even sleep most of the time. My life is a nightmare when you're not right next to me,” he whined, pressing his palms against his temples.

(Y/N) extinguished the cigarette on the tiled floor and stood up, kicking off her shoes. When her hands reached for the front button of her jeans, Klaus' shook his head.

“Wha- what are you doing (Y/N)?” he asked, blinking as though he thought he might be seeing things.

Soon, she stood (once again) half undressed in front of him. What he genuinely did not expect, was to see her take a hold of the edge of the tub and slowly climb into the water with him. Water spilled over the edge of the tub but they didn't care. Klaus froze and blinked dumbly, staring at her as if he didn't trust his own eyes. She was sitting in the tub, straddling his waist to be face to face.

He would lie if he said this hadn't happened already in some of his fantasies, but when he extended his hand to touch her arm, she was real.

“Do you know how difficult it is to take off wet jeans?” she said as an answer to his previous question – which he had completely forgotten about. “Why are you staying in cold water by the way? It's freezing in this bathroom.”

“Welcome to creepy manor,” Klaus replied on reflex. “Where everything is as cold and dead as Sir Reginald's stone heart.”

“You're joking because you're nervous,” (Y/N) said with a blinding smile. Klaus shot her a crooked little smile.

“Guilty. I'm only a man, and you just took a very sexy initiative, bravo.”

He licked his lips. (Y/N) let her fingers trail up his forearms, leaving a path of wet in their wake, little droplets running down to his elbows and returning to the tub. For the first time, she allowed herself to touch him in a new, unfamiliar way. Klaus stopped breathing altogether until she stopped her exploration and simply moved her hands to his neck, her thumbs brushing along his jaw.

He wasn't so cold anymore now, and (Y/N) must have felt it too. He was stark naked, there really wasn't anything he could hide from her, now could he? It wasn't fair, now that he thought about it, it was only right that she dropped her top too. His hands slid under the hem of her shirt and lifted it; she got the message and helped him take off the wet garment.

Klaus seemed to finally come alive when his hands settled on her waist, and (Y/N) replaced her hands where they were. Their proximity was exhilarating: they could feel each other's hot breath against their skin, they got drunk off of it. Klaus' head spun a little. His eyes locked with (Y/N)'s seconds before they met.

Seeing no hesitation on his part, (Y/N) smiled and touched the tip of his nose with hers, making him break into a similarly wide grin. Then, she leaned forward, sending some more water over the edge, and finally kissing him. One of his hands moved to the small of her back and pressed her to his chest, urging her to deepening the kiss. (Y/N) wanted to taste him first, savor the softness of his lips, enjoy the tickle of his facial hair.

But she was hungry too and she was done holding back and being a good girl. Their kisses became more frantic, they lingered; their lips became swollen and red too. Soon, Klaus' lips trailed down towards her neck and her collarbone.

(Y/N)'s hand shot out and held Klaus' throat, cutting short his ministration. Their chest heaved and they grinned madly at each other, completely forgetting the cold water. The rest of (Y/N)'s clothing was soon thrown across the room, hitting the door in a wet splash, triggering a round of giggles.

“Are we really going to do it in a tub?” (Y/N) asked, biting the skin right under Klaus' left ear, sucking it lightly to leave a mark.

“It's no smaller than my bed,” Klaus pointed out with a laugh, though his brows remained knitted together and his eyes closed in delight. He held to deploy an extraordinary effort not to moan out loud.

There was a glimmer in his eyes when he stared at her, as though he still didn't quite believe she wasn't a ghost or a figment of his imagination. He pushed back her hair, taking a fistful of it without ever stopping to look at her like she hung the moon in the sky.

He pulled her closer to him yet, and (Y/N) dived on his lips before answering, “there are 42 rooms in this house. Just imagine the possibilities.”

Neither of them was going to get out of this tub before quenching a thirst that had kept their throat dry for years now. It was messy at best, water everywhere, fumbling hands, voracious kisses, bites, nails marks – they laughed it all off, feeling so light they would fly away.

When they joined, there was a moment of silence, of holding onto each other for dear life, taking it all in and accepting that this was the beginning of something new. Klaus was the first to snap out of it, and his cupped (Y/N)'s cheek, watching her nuzzle his hand and place a soft peck on his palm.

Of course he loved her. How could he ever doubt it?

*

“What are you thinking about?” (Y/N) asked Klaus with a sly smile, already shifting closer to him as she pushed his hair out of his face.

It had been a long, tiring day – both emotionally and physically – and it had been no small feat to sneak out of the bathroom and into Klaus' room without getting caught. Five would have plucked his own eyes out and Luther might have spontaneously combusted.

Huddled together in Klaus' bed to warm themselves after the cold but no so cold bath they share, they fought to stay awake. Klaus' mind jumped back to his earlier musing about waking up beside (Y/N), and he knew he had been right.

“Nothing,” Klaus lied right away, refusing to reveal the ridiculous musings that crossed his mind. (Y/N) leaned into him, her breath hot again his neck when she spoke again and whispered

“Liar” against his skin.

His Adam's apple bobbed up and down again as he swallowed. The scariest part was behind them now, there was no need to be nervous. (Y/N) hand was placed over his heart and he briefly thought she could feel the desperate thumping of it in his ribcage.

“I was thinking-” he started, his throat a little dry, eyes lost in (Y/N)'s hopeful ones. “I was thinking I could stay for a while.”

[bloody-bara]

(AN: SURPRISE!! Didn’t think I’d have another chapter for a few months huh? Never doubt the power of procrastinating on everything else in your life to pursue the inspiration to write kids! Warnings for this chapter include violence, blood drinking, and heartbreak.)

Ch. 1   Ch. 2   Ch. 3   Ch.4   Ch. 5   Ch. 6   Ch. 7 

Word Count: 2457

Chapter 8 – A Choice

           I studied over Yui’s notes for the rest of the night and well into the morning too. I wouldn’t say I’m normally the most studious person ever, but I didn’t want Yui’s kindness to go to waste. Especially with the risks she had to take just to talk to me. I hoped she would be okay… By the time I fell asleep I had finally grasped the basics of the Kamakura period and the quadratic formula.

           Blood… There was blood everywhere. A full moon hung high in the sky, but it was as red as the blood that covered my hands and face. As red as my hair. I couldn’t move, fear and shock overtook my entire body. I looked out upon the bodies scattering the floor. Student uniforms. The cloaks of healers. Random street clothes. All dead. All because of me.

But one stood out to me. Blonde hair. Flower clips. Large pink eyes staring but not looking. Once realization hit me I scrambled back.

No no no no no no no no…

Not again…

A voice filled my head. “Look at the potential you hold. The power. You can finally have the control you seek.”

“I don’t want this!” I screamed. I covered my ears but the voice persisted.

“Of course you do. Listen to the moon, child. It calls you. Drives you.”

“I’ve learned to fight it! I’m not going to succumb to the thirst again!”

“Not the thirst, child. But the sadistic monster inside you.”

I awoke in a cold sweat, scanning my surroundings in primal fear. Boring gray walls. The nurse’s office?! No, the compound. I breathed a sigh of relief. I cautiously opened the curtains of my window. Dusk. I needed to get ready for school.

The preparation for today was somber, not as frantic as it was the day before. I mulled over the dream I had, which had felt more like a prediction. Or maybe it was just my fears manifesting in the only way they knew how. But that voice… It hadn’t been my own, yet it sounded so familiar. And it sent shivers up my spine.

A knock on my door had me scrambling to put the last of my uniform on. “Come in!” I called.

Rose peeked her head inside just as I was tying the last bow around my neck. “Are you ready to go? I packed you a lunch again.”

“Just about. And thank you, Rose. I’ll get around to making it myself soon, I promise.”

She smiled at me, then made a face at my handiwork. “Your bows are crooked.”

I looked down and sighed, attempting to straighten them. Rose instead took it upon herself to fix them for me. An embarrassed blush spread across my face. “I’d like to think I’m not as hopeless as I probably look right now.”

“I know you aren’t. You’re just… stressed. And understandably so. I know I wouldn’t want to go back into a nest of vampires.”

I grimaced. “I wasn’t given a choice.”

She frowned but straightened up again, having made perfect bows for me.

The ride to school was quiet again. I could tell Rose was deep in thought, but I didn’t want to pry. And I also had my own things to think about. What was I going to do during a full moon? Would I still go to school? The teachers and students would immediately know something was up with my red eyes and hair. How did the other vampires do it? Well, actually that one was easy. Apparently they fed like normal, even though they weren’t supposed to. But what if I hurt someone?

We arrived at the academy and I turned to open the door, but felt a hand on my shoulder. “Don’t. Don’t go, just yet.” My hand fell from the handle as I turned back to look at Rose. She looked like she was steeling herself for something big.

“You said before that you weren’t given a choice. Well I’m giving you one now.”

“What… are you saying?” I asked, not entirely sure where this was going.

Rose took a deep breath. “What I’m saying, is that we can run away! Defy your father’s wishes and just leave… forever…” She trailed off, possibly imagining what this possible future would entail. “It wouldn’t be easy, and we would be hunted for the rest of our lives, but we’d have each other.” She held both of my hands in hers. Tears were now brimming in her chocolate brown eyes. “I want the best for you, Megumi, and I don’t think you’ll find it in that academy. Your father certainly doesn’t know what’s best for you, and that stranger definitely doesn’t.”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “Run away? But nothing has been planned! How would we even—”

“I’ve already packed two bags, they’re in the trunk. As well as enough food and cash to last us a little while. But if you decide not to, I’ll just put them away and pretend like this conversation never happened. But I really think we could do it! We could really pull this off!”

My mind began to imagine it. Moving from town to town, possibly living off the land until it was time to move again. Never having a lot, but just being happy with each other. I looked down at her hands still tightly grasping mine and back up at her watering eyes. I felt myself tear up as well. It was a lot to think about, but the idea of it still sounded better than getting out of the car again. My father and that stranger would probably be furious, but in that moment I didn’t care. Rose was right. They didn’t know what was best for me.

But I did.

I opened my mouth to reply with my choice. But before I could, a long limo pulled up in front of us. Six boys piled out, followed by a blonde-haired girl with flower clips. I saw her fidget nervously with her bag for a moment before catching up the with the rest of them. She seemed uneasy. What had happened?

But then I realized this choice wasn’t so easy to make. My heart was torn. I loved Rose, and I so wanted to take the “easy” way out. But there was also Yui, a human girl living with six vampires. If she could do it, who was to say I couldn’t? And maybe, I could help her. Just like she helped me. We could have each other’s backs and survive our fates together. I had just met her yesterday, and yet I felt a responsibility to help her. Because she deserved that much at least.

Decision made, I turned back to Rose. The tears were falling from my eyes now. It was the hardest choice I’d ever had to make in my life.

“I can’t.” I said with a sad smile. “Just like you helped me, it’s my turn to help her.” I nodded towards Yui. “I want to be with you, but I need to stay here and do what’s right. I don’t want to run away when there’s someone here I could potentially help.”

I met her eyes again. Tears streaked her face as well, but she nodded as if she knew how I would answer. “Forgive me. I wanted to help you, but you’re right.” She smiled. “I think I may have taught you too well to protect the innocent.” She took my face in her hands, and once again placed a kiss on my forehead. She looked deep into my eyes for a moment. “You got this, Megumi.”

Rose made sure to wipe the tears from my eyes. I hugged her, trying to convey in that embrace how much I just wanted to leave all this behind and start a new life with her. Even though she was the one wanting to protect me, I desperately wanted to do the same for her. She seemed to understand, holding me back just as tightly before sending me on my way. My heart was still broken, but I needed to pull myself together and get on with the day.

Classes went on as normal, and thankfully I didn’t run into Laito again in the halls. However, Ayato kept glancing at me more during English than he did yesterday. Was it because he had seen me with Yui yesterday? Or was it for another reason? When the bell rang I tried to leave as soon as possible so I could actually make it to my next class today. But Ayato had other plans, blocking my way to the door so I couldn’t leave.

“The hentai says you aren’t human.”

“If this is your way of calling me a freak, you’ll have to get more creative,” I said, avoiding eye contact and trying to push past him.

Well that certainly pissed him off. He grabbed my shoulder and pinned it to the wall. “Don’t ignore Ore-sama!” His eyes flashed in anger. “Now what are you?”

“I’m human! What else would I be? An alien?”

Without any warning, he leaned into my neck. I prepared myself for the pain of a bite, but it never came. Instead I felt him sniff near my pulse. He pulled away, looking unhappy with his findings.

“You do smell human. Almost.” He let go of my shoulder and smirked at me. “Maybe one day I’ll get a taste, and finally see what you really are.”

I stared wide eyed at him for a second before running out the door to my next class. But I could still hear his chuckle echoing behind me.

It turns out the class I had missed before was cooking class, which I was grateful for. It was nice to finally feel in my element with a class instead of hopelessly behind. We ended up making pork cutlets with rice. I ate what I could in case there was another incident during lunch.

The rest of the day went by relatively smooth. I could actually kinda keep up in math even! After history I made sure to thank Yui for the notes.

“O-Of course!” She seemed surprised I was still talking to her. Did the boys keep other people from talking to her? “Did they help you out today?”

“Definitely! I actually understood what was going on,” I laughed. “And you take really good notes! Like they’re really in depth and helped me understand things really well.”

“Oh! Well, thank you.” She smiled, and I returned it. I never thought I would prefer talking about notes and homework over everything else going on. It was… normal. This is just what normal human kids did, worrying about the next exam instead of whether or not they’ll kill someone on the next full moon.

I made sure to keep the conversation short with Yui. I didn’t want her getting in trouble again, especially because of me. I noticed Ayato had stopped by the classroom to pick her up, making sure to glare at me in the process. I just stared back. I didn’t feel like getting into another fight with a vampire today.

But someone wanted to go against my wishes.

As I was making my way down the stairwell, my arm was tugged, throwing me into a dark corner at the bottom of the stairs. I tried to scream but a hand quickly covered my mouth, which I promptly bit. I heard a hiss behind me and I was thrown into the wall, a hand firmly on my neck. My head felt dizzy and my vision was blurry, but I could still make out a flash of green eyes. A chill ran up my spine, my hair turning white before I could stop it.

“Nfu~ So my eyes didn’t deceive me. What does it mean, bitch-chan? Do you take pleasure in this?”

“Far… from it!” I choked out. I tried kicking him while he held onto me, but he easily avoided it. “Let me… go!”

“Oh? But I can’t do that until I’ve had another taste. I want to see if it’s still the same as I remember.”

My eyes widened and I squirmed more, which only prompted him to tighten his grip.

He sighed. “Your face and neck are turning so red, bitch-chan! If I were to bite you right now, it would probably make a mess, nfu~” He leaned in, smelling near my face. I flinched and turned away. Laito let out a soft moan. “You smell… different…”

I hoped that meant he wasn’t interested and would let me go. But the tugging at my clothes suggested otherwise. I struggled more, attempting to shove him away, but it was no use. I was little more than a human right now. It was like trying to fight a brick wall. Buttons popped and my ribbons fell away. I felt cool air on my chest, meaning I was at least partially exposed.

“Hmm… Not even lace. How boring.”

I flushed in anger and embarrassment, but that feeling was quickly replaced by a searing pain near my collar bone. I choked on my breath, not even able to scream. Laito’s moans and slurps could be heard echoing in the stairwell. I clawed at his hand on my throat, trying to breathe, but it only tightened again.

By the time spots were clouding my vision, he finally pulled away. He was gasping, even though he wasn’t the one that had their neck pinned to the wall.

“It is different. More human, but also… not.” I could barely make out my blood dripping down his chin. Sucking in one small bit of air, I made one final attempt at demanding he let me go. He only smirked at me. “Just a little longer.”

I didn’t understand what he meant until my vision went black.

           Someone was shaking me.

“Megumi? Megumi! Please wake up!”

My eyes struggled open. I saw a blurry figure huddled over me.

“Rose?” I croaked.

“Oh, thank goodness!” It sounded like she really thought I was a goner. “When you didn’t come out to the car I figured something must have happened.”

For some reason I couldn’t focus on what she was saying. “Are you… wearing clothes?” She was had on a simple gray dress and her hair was in a neat bun on top of her head.

“Huh? Oh! You mean without the robe. Well, yes. I figured I shouldn’t come in wearing a mysterious cloak. But that doesn’t matter right now. What happened?”

It took me a moment to remember, and when I did, all I could mutter was, “Damn vampires.”

[ayearofpike]

The Visitor

Pocket Books, 1995 162 pages, 42 chapters + epilogue ISBN 0-671-87270-2 LOC: PZ7.P626 Vi 1995 OCLC: 33376660 Released November 1, 1995 (per B&N)

Mary Weist has lost her boyfriend to a tragic accident, and is shutting everyone out since his death. But there’s a bigger problem, or at least more intensive inner voices telling her friends and family that there was more to it than anybody knew. Mary has her own secrets that she’s keeping from the community, sure, but she slowly comes to learn that she’s not the only one. In fact, she eventually finds out that she had secrets she didn’t even know about.

I mean ... talk about misleading back copy, right? Yeah, Tom is important to this book, but the story is about Mary, who doesn’t even get mentioned here. Tom shows up about halfway in, and his whole job was to try to make Mary realize the truth of the secret she had ... suppressed? forgotten? We can discuss it more when we get there.

Also, this book inspired its share of hate and anger when it came out. We were used to this epic about vampires, and now we have two stand-alone novels in a row clocking in at under 200 pages. Plus this one reads super fast. I think I did it in less than two hours this go-round. Maybe at the time it came out we felt cheated of explanation and exposition, but honestly? This is a tight horror/suspense story that neither gives us too much nor expects us to make up too much. Maybe the story doesn’t even need to be this long, though I didn’t feel it was excessively padded.

It opens with Mary getting ready to go to a party that she doesn’t really want to attend. It’s been a month since her boyfriend died, but she’s been talked into this party by his best friend (who by the way also wants to jump her bones). He’s got her there because her boyfriend’s younger brother also plans to go and wanted to talk to her — not about his death necessarily, but just about the guy. It turns out that the brother has felt his continuing presence, which weirds Mary out so much that she goes outside. Her ride comes and gets her after a while, saying that the host (another ex-girlfriend of the dead guy) wants to try to get in touch with him with an Ouija board. Pike Trope #1: check!

The party dies out enough that they have a smaller group to try to reach Dead Boyfriend: Mary, Brother, Other Ex, Horny Ride, and Superfluous Redheaded Twins That Supposedly Help Boost Ethereal Signal (I’d like to call this Pike Trope #2, but I think it was only in one book unless you count the short story that mentions the book). They get the board going, and it starts to talk specifically about Mary: that once, long ago in Egypt, she lived and pretended to be a god. Obviously Other Ex thinks that Mary knows more than she’s letting on about how Dead Boyfriend kicked off, and is asking specific and pointed questions to the Ouija board, the answers to which seem to throw Mary under the bus. Still, the godhood bits are maybe too subtle or unrelated if we’re assuming Other Ex just wanted to implicate Mary (and because she’s taking notes, I think we’re supposed to understand that she’s not even touching the indicator anyway). Still, she doesn’t answer questions and she leaves with Horny Ride without completing the communication.

So they go back to Mary’s house, where Horny Ride gives her a full-body massage in front of a roaring fire (Pike Trope #3), and she tells him about a story she was writing the day she met Dead Boyfriend: an Egyptian goddess is buried alive, but Mary didn’t know why or what happened, and in walking through the woods looking for inspiration she met him. So the message from the board hits close to home. After no sex, Horny Ride leaves and Mary throws on a robe and drives out to Dead Boyfriend’s grave, where she lies down and dreams about his death. (Pike Trope #4: dreaming backstory!) Evidently, they had broken into the school to precount the votes for homecoming queen, and when a frightened security guard with a shaky trigger finger found them, Mary basically told him where to stick it. So he acted all big, and she tackled him, and in the scuffle the gun went off, thereby creating Dead Boyfriend. What we didn’t know before — the real mindfuck revelation that does more to explain Mary’s mental state and personality than anything else — is that she continued to fight with the guard, specifically to press his gun against his head and force him to pull the trigger.

Obviously Mary has never told anyone this story, but it goes a long way toward both understanding her aloofness toward anything and everything now as well as giving us a little more justification and understanding for what we’ll learn as the story goes along. But for now, she gets up and goes home and goes to bed, but is awakened by a bright light in her backyard. She has to put on a new robe to check it out, as her first one is dirty, but what she finds outside is a flying saucer. Before she has time to even think about what it’s doing or what she should do about it, there’s a bright flash and she finds herself lying on Dead Boyfriend’s grave again. Obviously this is a dream, so she walks back home and goes back to bed. But when she wakes up in the morning, there are TWO dirty robes on her chair.

She goes to work and tells her boss about the flying saucer encounter, and he suggests that this is probably related to her traumatic experience (though he has the civility to accept that she does not seem to be making it up). That night she dreams of an invisible being in a desert who slowly makes herself visible to the people and shapeshifts into a body pleasing enough that they begin to worship her. There’s our Egyptian goddess! Mary’s not prepared to write this all off as either suggestibility or coincidence, so she calls up Horny Ride in the middle of the night and tells him to come right over, bringing Brother and his Ouija board so they can try to figure out what is going on and who they were talking to before.

Before they can even ask the board a question, it spells out this poem about how all love, all burn, all die. It calls this the “Prayer of the False God,” which also appears as the book’s epigraph. Pretty ballsy of Pike to quote HIMSELF in his own book. I wonder if the poem came first and he built the story around it. But the presence doesn’t hang out very long this time, and the guys leave and Mary falls back asleep. The spaceship shows up again, and she tries to call Horny Ride, but the voice on the other end of the phone isn’t him. Mary thinks it’s the Ouija board, and when she says she wants her boyfriend back it says that her desires make her nightmare continue. Whatever that means.

Back at school after the weekend, there’s a new kid. If you guessed it’s Tom, you’re right! Mary is drawn to him for some reason, and goes so far as to take him for a ride after school. They go for dinner, take a walk in the woods, and end up naked in front of Mary’s fireplace again. (Yes, Pike addresses the parents: they’ve left town for the week, even though neither one really wants to leave Mary alone.) But this time it’s the dude who stops the sexytimes, echoing her rationale for not wanting to do Horny Ride. They hang out for another day without talking, and that night the spaceship comes again. This time Mary sees an actual alien, and reaches out to touch it, which sucks her into a vision of the past.

(Aside: I’m kind of pissed off that I didn’t take this book with me to Roswell when I was there three weeks ago. Would have made a more fitting picture for the the entry, right?)

This vision describes Clareesh, a fourth-dimensional extraterrestrial being visiting ancient Egypt who wants to meet humans despite directives not to be seen. She vibrates down to a visible frequency, then reads the humans’ minds and adopts the physical form that they find most pleasing. They take her for a god and worship her as such — all except the one woman who Clareesh mirrored for a moment while getting her bearings in a human body. This woman wants to be beautiful and immortal like Clareesh, and after 30 years she starts to get peeved that Clareesh isn’t sharing her secrets. So she raises a mob against her and threatens to kill her lover if Clareesh doesn’t make with the youngifying. Obviously alien physiology is different from human, and unfortunately so long in a human body has stunted Clareesh’s supernormal powers.So there’s nothing she can do as this angry power-grabber gruesomely kills the young man and buries them both together in a stone tomb. And she can’t get out, no matter how she claws and tears her fingers against the rock.

When Mary comes to, she’s back in bed, and there’s dried blood on her sheets. Message, obviously. So the next day she doesn’t hang out with Tom, but she follows him after school as he wanders aimlessly around town. At one point a car hits a fox dead-on, and Tom picks it up and cradles it to his chest. And it wakes up and licks his face and runs away. Mary stops following at this point, and Tom doesn’t come to school the next day because what for. This pisses off Other Ex, who assumes that Mary has given him what he came for and threatens that through the power of her father the mayor, she’s convinced the police to reopen the case of Dead Boyfriend. Mary’s pretty sure that Brother blabbed some of the stuff she told him about the night he died, but apparently it was Horny Ride, grumpy about Mary’s interest in Tom and looking to get his dick wet SOMEWHERE. What a fucknuts.

She has to go to work, and tells her boss a little more about what’s been going on. She leaves out the zombie fox, but not much else. The boss, in turn, tells a story of a spirit that rose up out of the cemetery nineteen years ago, while he was lost on a walk, and read his mind looking for pregnant women in the area. The one it fixated on — one he didn’t even think of as pregnant, because she hadn’t revealed it yet — was Mary’s mom. So he figures that there must be something larger going on related to her and it’s manifesting somehow now. Mary thinks of Clareesh here, but isn’t sure why.

She goes back to the clearing where she found the alien, because she’s pretty sure Tom is going to be there. When he is, she pulls a gun and tells him to bring her boyfriend back to life. He asks if she’s sure she wouldn’t like to go back to the spaceship with him, and she’s adamant: all she wants is her boyfriend. So they dig him up, and Tom embraces him, and pretty soon they’re both moaning in pain: the boyfriend because his soul is back but his body is still dead and a month stiff and rotten, Tom because this act has drained all of his energy and he is about to die.

Whatever, right? My boyfriend’s back! Only he isn’t really happy about it. Mary takes him back to her house and soaks him in the bathtub, thinking it’ll warm and limber him up, but all it does is pull embalming fluid out. She thinks maybe he needs something to replace the fluid with, so he can properly live again. Blood! Pike Trope #4! Of course — they would have drained it all at the funeral home and now he needs some. So she calls up Other Ex and says she did tamper with the homecoming queen vote and that she’s willing to share the real ballots if they drop their investigation. They meet at the movie theater, and before Other Ex can say boo Mary fucking WHALES her in the head with a hammer and drags her home, to be blood for her love.

(I realized that I never said we’re back in a small town: Seedmont, Idaho, population unspecified because Pike has finally learned something about small towns. That’d be Trope #1.5, I guess.)

While Mary is refilling her dead boyfriend with live blood, Horny Ride and Brother drop by. They’re looking for Other Ex, who has evidently disappeared. Mary’s salty about Horny Ride being only worried about his new cock sheath, and she dismisses them out of hand. Back with (Un)Dead Boyfriend, he wants to know how she brought him back, and she tells the whole story, actually not leaving anything out for once. He explains that, yes, his soul is back, but his body is still dead, and that she has to let him go for both of their sakes. So she takes him back to the cemetery and shoots him in the head right next to his grave, which ... how do you kill a dead body with a magically infused soul? Did the bullet just make an easier hole for the soul to get out? But he’s dead again, and she suddenly realizes:

She is Clareesh, given a second chance to sacrifice herself and step away for the good of humanity rather than stroking her own vanity. And she failed.

Tom is still alive, and now she recognizes him as her second-in-command from the good old fourth dimension. She gives him her life energy and orders him to call the spaceship and leave her on Earth. Which he does, after he buries her undead body with her redead boyfriend, to struggle for another five thousand years.

The epilogue takes us back to the party, where it’s Boyfriend, surprisingly not dead, who is against the idea of using an Ouija board to get in touch with Mary, who was killed when she resisted the security guard at school. It tells them that there is nothing more to be afraid of, and then swiftly goes silent, leaving Not-Dead Boyfriend to mourn at Mary’s grave, where he thinks he hears a moan from under the earth.

The Visitor is probably too long by half, but it tumbles along smoothly. I don’t blame Pike for dragging it out; there’s no way his audience was going to be happy with an 80-page book. But it probably would have worked better in one of his short story collections coming up quick. I’m not mad at it, even as it pulls from so much of what he’s written before, because every author does that. Maybe I needed this distance from the original context, coming as it did in the middle of TWO separate book series, to appreciate this one on its own merits.