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ashcal99 · 2 years ago

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Collarbones : Jasper Whitlock Hale II

Chapter Two

"I can see your collarbones and baby I'm scared, Never thought I'd be so unprepared"

Summary: Camila Johnson was only 16 when she was diagnosed with leukemia. By the time she had turned 17, the doctors had tried everything to save her. Her family is close to giving up hope when they hear of a doctor who may be able to help her. The only problem is, he lives on the opposite side of the country. The small family soon decides to move to the small town in Washington, in efforts to prolong her life. In doing so, her life changes forever.

Warnings: Eventual smut (18+ only), mentions of death, depression, descriptions of disease and weight loss, general angst, slow burn, blink and you'll miss it mention of eating disorder

Words: 5.1k

A/N: Please lmk if you'd like to be added to the tag list. Sorry for the delay in posting, I just got back from vacation, so I'm hoping to get back to normal posting soon. THX x

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Previous Chapter

Series Masterlist

——————

January 25th, 2005

Jasper had stood there for a moment, mind cluttered with thoughts as he tried to make sense of what he had just seen. He had been there completely by chance. Everything had happened so quickly yet almost in slow motion. He had heard the van speeding down the road. Had seen Alice’s face as the vision had played throughout her mind. Had heard Edward yell out in anguish as he saw what Alice had seen as she was seeing it. Next thing he knew, they were in the hospital, trying to warn Carlisle of what had happened.

In truth, he was a bit angry with Edward. Not as much as Rosalie, but still angry non the less. He understood that it would’ve been bad for everyone in that situation if the van would’ve crushed her. The blood itself would’ve been a huge issue for himself. But Edward saved her and in turn had exposed them all to the girl. In the end, he hoped Edward wouldn’t come to regret his actions. He hoped that they wouldn’t have to give up this life that they had built for themselves in Forks prematurely.

The whole group had been caught up in hushed conversation with Carlisle that he hadn’t even noticed her until the door had shut behind her. Then, all of a sudden, she was there, standing just outside of Carlisle’s office, looking like a deer caught in the headlights. Anxiety radiated from her as she quickly turned, averting her gaze and walked down the hall away from the group. Clearly he had seen something that she hadn’t wanted him to, but what, he wasn’t sure.

He had a clue of what it could be, but he needed to make sure before he jumped to any conclusions. He needed to talk to Edward, but he knew he would have to wait. He also would have to leave the hospital soon. His concentration was beginning to waver, and as much as he tried to stay as far away from the patient rooms, he could still smell the fresh blood. Alice could see this in his face, so she grabbed his hand and drug his stiff body back out into the parking lot, deciding that the rest of the family would have to find their own way home.

Alice sat in the driver’s seat weaving and winding down the long road that lead to their home. “Are you going to stay silent the whole ride?” She asked, trying the break the tension.

Jasper let out a huff of air. “Do you know?” He asked, referring to the situation with Camila. It was eating him alive, not knowing. He hadn’t been so stressed in years, and the possibilities running through his mind were burning their way through his brain.

She nodded hesitantly. “I’ve seen it. After she came out of Carlisle’s office I had a vision of it.” She said.

He looked out of his window to the trees rushing past. He knew from the look on Alice’s face that he was right in his suspicions, and his heart ached with this realization. “She’s sick.” He said simply. Not a question, but a statement. It made sense. This was why she was in Carlisle’s office. That alone meant that it was bad. Most likely terminal.

Alice let out a heavy sigh, knowing that it would be of little use to hide the rest from him now “Leukemia.” She stated simply. It hurt her to see her brother in pain, but this pain was inevitable. She had seen everything play out, and there was no going back now.

The word had stabbed him right in the heart. Suddenly, every little detail made sense. The scent of her blood, the bruises on her arms, her confusing emotions. His head fell into his hands. “Fuck.” He said, mind reeling. Sure, he barely knew the girl, but knowing she was dying hurt, and he was vaguely aware that it shouldn’t hurt as much as it did.

Yes, he knew that she was only human, and even if she wanted to be friends, in the end she would leave and he would be left alone. But knowing she was dying was like he had been shot in the chest. He knew that there was no physical aliment that was causing it, but the pain in his heart felt so real in that moment.

He knew it would do little to help knowing, but he had to ask. “How long?” He murmured.

“Less than a year.” She answered stiffly, trying her best not to be too specific, not wanting to upset him further. “But that could change.” She said quickly. He looked up at her, hurt crossing his features. He knew that she didn’t mean it in a hurtful way, but he couldn’t bring himself to think of that future. He couldn’t hope for that. “I’ve seen that too. You loving her. Her loving you. It could work out, you know.” She reasoned.

Jasper scoffed frustratedly. The vampire next to him was his best friend. He would’ve thought that she would’ve known him better than that. “Alice. I’m not going to single handedly doom her to eternal damnation.” He said. It hurt immensely to think about that. To think about a future with her. He selfishly wanted that future, but he also knew that it wasn’t the easy way out for Camila.

It would complicate everything for her, and he didn’t know if she would willingly make that gamble. She would lose her friends. Her family. Not only this, but she would have to live through knowing that they would mourn her death. Because that would be the only way. To let everyone think that she had died. So he shut that thought down, pushing that small glimpse of hope out of him mind.

——————

January 26th, 2005

Camila was thankful that Jasper had left by the time she had finished in the bathroom, relieved to avoid him for just a bit, to be able to figure out what she was going to tell him. In truth, she hadn’t come up with any excuses, and deep down she knew that she would end up begging him to keep her secret to himself by the end of it.

Nerves settled in her chest as her mother’s mini van pulled up to the front of the school. Deep breaths. It would all be okay. She stepped out of the vehicle, sucking in a breath of cold air. As she made her way to the building, carefully avoiding the sheets of ice on the ground, all of a sudden, she felt a cold hand on the small of her back. Her feet slipped out from underneath her as the hand caught her mid fall.

She looked up, seeing the face of the one person she had been actively trying to avoid. Of course, just her luck. “Jesus. You scared me.” She said breathlessly.

Jasper looked at her, a playful smirk adorning his face. “Actually, my name is Jasper, darlin’.” He joked. There was that damn name again. That deep southern drawl that sent heat straight to her cheeks.

Despite his joking, he was in a very serious mood. He was determined to have this conversation, not wanting to delay it any further. He had thought about it all night, and didn’t want to wait any longer. “Do you want to skip with me today?” He asked.

Camila looked over to him, anxious, but knowing that it was best to get this conversation over with and out of the way. She nodded lightly, allowing him to lead her back to his own car.

They drove in silence, Camila looking out of the passenger window at the greenery blurring past. He had promised to go and buy her breakfast, wanting to ease her anxiety as much as he could. So they weaved their way through the small town to the only diner open at that time.

The tension was thick in the air between them as the car pulled in front of the small cafe. The anxiety radiating from her was beginning to put Jasper on edge as well, so as soon as the car was in park, he jumped out, rushing to her side to open the door for her. Silently, they made their way into the restaurant, sitting in at a small table in a far corner in attempts to find some sense of privacy.

They sat there for a moment, quiet, Camila fidgeting with her rings to distract herself. Jasper’s mind whirled with thoughts. He had so much time to think about what he would say to her, but now that she was sat there in front of him, he was lost for words. He didn’t know where to begin, so he decided to jump straight to the point. “So…” He trailed off awkwardly, Camila’s eyes refusing to meet his own. “You’re sick.”

Camila finally looked up at him, her face void of any emotions. He had said it as a statement, not a question. She didn’t know if it was better of worse, him knowing already, but either way, he had figured it out and this was what she would be left to deal with. “It’s pretty pathetic. I couldn’t even keep that a secret for a week.” She said scoffing, looking down at her hands once again

Jasper’s eyebrows threaded together in confusion. “Why exactly did you want to keep that a secret?” He asked, trying to not be rude, but curiosity winning the fight.

Sadness began to spread from where she was seated, however, the blank expression remained. “People change when they know you’re dying.” She said simply, tears beginning to well in her eyes. “I’m sick of the sympathy, because that’s all they’ll give me.” She said, her eyes dropping back to the pealing lamination of the cafe’s menu.

“I just want a normal life. Nothing spectacular, just normal, but that clearly isn’t in the cards for me anymore. Given the lack of longevity of my life, why would I want to spend the small remainder of it smothered by the pity of others? That’s far from normal, it’s fucking suffocating.” She rambled sniffling slightly as she shook the thoughts from her head.

She refused to cry in front of him. She didn’t want to cry anymore. “Sorry.” She muttered, knowing it wasn’t fair to pour all of that out to him. But he had asked, so it was okay, right?

He sat there for a moment, debating whether or not he should manipulate her emotions. He hated the sight of her upset. He hated feeling the pain that she was feeling. Knowing how things that other people had put her through had left her hurting so bad. “Well, your secret is safe with me… and my family I guess.” He said.

She looked over to him, not convinced of his words. “I promise, okay?…Look, we have our own secrets and we know first hand how important is to keep them.” He reassured. He knew it probably wasn’t the wisest thing to elude to their supernatural tendencies, but he really didn’t care anymore. If she found out, she found out. It made it that much easier to give her the option to live later on. If you could even call it living.

Camila didn’t care to focus on what their secret could possibly be in that moment. She only cared about his promise and the sincerity in his voice. “Thanks.” She muttered softly, looking deep into his amber eyes.

Jasper smiled gently. “It was never my secret to tell, Darlin’.” He said.

She let out a groan, burring her face in her hands as heat began to creep up her neck. “You and that damn word.” She chided.

He laughed lightly. “What? You don’t like it?” He asked teasingly, knowing from looking at her bright red cheeks that she did in fact like it. He had been so distracted from her reaction to his words that he hadn’t even noticed the waitress that was walking over to their table until she was only a few steps away. He looked up, giving a small smile to the woman before turning his attention back to the blushing girl in front of him.

The woman cleared her throat. “What can I get for you two?” She asked politely, as the burn in his throat intensified from her close proximity.

Vaguely, he was aware of Camila speaking, giving her order to the woman. His focus was weaning as he tried to concentrate on controlling his thirst. Only when Camila called his name did he shake away his thoughts. “Sorry, what?” He asked.

“What can I get you, sweetie?” The woman asked lightly.

Jasper gulped, thinking things through quickly. Did he want to even try to put up a front of portraying a human? Alice’s words rang through his head. ‘Less than a year.’ She had said.And he decided, fuck it. He would be his most authentic self, and she would find out in her own time. “Nothing for me, thanks.” He answered politely.

His eyes landed back on Camila as the waitress let them know that she would put in her order, her footsteps slowly fading away. “You’re not getting anything?” Camila asked expectantly, feeling a bit awkward that she would be the only one eating.

He smiled at her, biting back the urge to tell her his normal lies. “I don’t really eat.” He said, his eyes meeting hers.

She nodded slowly, she of course understood. After being diagnosed she had lost the majority of her appetite, not looking forward to the nausea that would follow after a large meal. However, the look of mischief in his eyes said more. Like she was missing the point of his words. Like there was some kind of inside joke and she found herself sinking deeper and deeper into his eyes. Then it hit her. “Your eyes.” She said suddenly. “They’re really dark. They were almost gold before.”

He clenched his jaw slightly, pushing himself to not look away from her. The waitress’ blood had no doubt caused his eyes to darken in hunger, and he hoped it wouldn’t scare her away. But still, he pushed on, knowing that the more truth that he offered her the faster she would piece the puzzle together. The more time they would have together. No hiding. “They do that.” He stated.

Camila sent him a small smile. Yet again there was that little voice in the back of her head, telling her that there was something more to his words. But she wouldn’t question it. Not today. Not when she was too busy being relieved that he had promised to keep her secret. “Thanks for the food.” She said, smile still lingering on her lips.

Jasper couldn’t help but beam back at her, only hoping that the sight of his teeth wouldn’t scare her away like he knew that they should. “Of course, Darlin'. Need to make sure you’re fed.” He said, smirking slightly as he heard the sputtering of her heart at that ‘damn word’ again. Yeah she definitely liked it. “And I thought it may help with the mental distress of this whole conversation.” He admitted.

She bit her lip bashfully at his words. Here she was thinking that was so skilled at hiding her emotions when apparently she had been wearing them on her sleeve the entire time. “So it was that obvious, huh?”

He snickered lightly. “The crippling anxiety? Yeah. I guess I’m just good at reading people, you could say.” He smirked, looking down from her eyes momentarily as he shifted slightly in his seat. It was going to take some getting used to, being so open about himself around a human when he was used to being closed off completely.

“Like an empath.”

His eyes shot back up to her as his mind reeled at her words. He wasn’t sure if she was serious or joking, but either way, he knew it was okay. The end goal was for her to know, so there was no use in panicking at what she had said. He swallowed thickly, pushing a smile back on his face. “Yeah… exactly like that.”

——————

Unfortunately, as much as she wished that she could spend the whole day alone with Jasper, Camila knew that they would have to return to the school as they would be taking a biology field trip during the second half of the day. After a few hours of hogging the small table all to themselves, laughing, smiling, and just overall enjoying each other’s company, they knew it was time to leave, so they reluctantly returned to the car.

She hadn’t exactly realized how long they had been gone until they pulled into the school parking lot, seeing the two school busses already parked in front. Students swarmed the busses as they murmured excitedly. Not for the field trip itself, but for the opportunity to miss the rest of their classes for the day. Parking, Camila quickly stepped out of the vehicle, trying to ignore the stares of others around them as they realized the two had been together off campus just minutes before.

Jasper fell in stride by her side as they joined the rest of the group. “Make sure I get your permission slips.” Mr Molina yelled over the crowd of students, ushering them onto the buses. Glancing over and seeing Alice watching expectantly, Jasper lead Camila over to her, knowing that she had expected him to introduce her officially to the human.

“Camila, this is my sister. She wanted to meet you officially.” He said, slightly agitated that his time alone with her had come to an end.

Alice smiled brightly at the girl. “Hi, I’m Alice.” She said cheerfully as she pulled the girl in for a hug. Camila tried to hold back her shock as she slowly lifted her arms to reciprocate her hug. She wasn’t uncomfortable, in fact the hug was actually quite nice, but still a bit unexpected. To Camila’s surprise, the girls skin held no warmth, the coolness contracting nicely with her feverish body.

Jasper rolled his eyes at his adopted sister. “Alice.” He chided, slightly annoyed the display in front of him. He knew he had nothing to worry about when it came to Alice, but it still made him oddly jealous. “You’re going to smother her.” He mumbled irritatedly. He of course knew what Alice was doing. She had no doubt seen what he had been not so subtly trying to hint at and this hug was her way of helping him. Showing off the lack of warmth in her touch would be just another clue to the puzzle.

The immortal girl pulled away from the embrace finally, blinding smile still present. “Don’t worry Jazz, I can already see we’re going to be great friends.” She said cheerfully. “Now I’m going to go grab a seat by Edward, I’ll see you two there.” She said sending the two a wink before rushing off onto the bus.

Jasper sighed, turning to face the frail girl next to him. “Sorry about her she gets a bit… excited.” He said.

“It’s okay, she’s cute.” Camila said, snickering lightly. She really didn’t mind, even if the whole situation still weirded her out a bit. Alice was clearly a very sweet and genuine person, and if she was willing to be her friend, even knowing that Camila would die sooner rather than later, she would gladly grasp at that opportunity.

She had plenty of friends in the past leave her because of her illness. The happiness had been sucked out of their friendships, the only thing the were able to focus on being her cancer. They treated her as if she couldn’t enjoy what little bit of her life she had left just because she knew it was ending. She didn’t want the constant sympathy anymore, the constant sadness and if Alice was willing to put herself in that situation knowingly, she could tell that they would become great friends.

Jasper smiled, feeling her happiness and comfort. He was glad to see that she hadn’t become overwhelmed, although he should’ve known better than to doubt Alice. He should’ve known that she would say the exact right words. She always did. The smile didn’t waver from his face as he lead Camila onto the bus.

——————

January 28th, 2005

The end of Camila’s first week had finally arrived. Exhaustion began to set in, luck being in store as lunch had finally arrived. Camila sat there at her usual table, trying to muster the strength and appetite to eat her food that was beginning to grow cold. Twirling the thin strands of pasta around her fork, she brought the bite to mouth and began to chew the unsavory food. Grimacing slightly, she resisted the urge to spit the mushed up pasta out. She needed the nutrients, she knew this, but that didn’t make it any easier to actually eat the food.

Looking up from her tray, her eyes connected with Jasper’s. He gave her a small wave, the corners of his lips lifting slightly. The two hadn’t talked much since the impromptu cafe trip a few days previous, having been busy with their classes. She had seen him in calculus, as usual, but of course as always, by the end of the school day she was worn out and just ready for sleep.

“Camila?” A voice said, abruptly breaking her gaze away from those Amber eyes. She looked to the owner expectantly, waiting for them to continue. “La Push, baby. You in?” Eric asked.

Her eyebrows quirked in question, not at all understanding what he was getting at. She looked over to Bella wondering if she understood. She looked just as confused. “Should I know what that means?” Bella asked Camila.

She laughed lightly, glad to see that she wasn’t the only one confused. “Your guess is as good as mine.” She answered, looking back to the boy for an explanation.

“La Push beach, down on the Quileute rez. We’re all going tomorrow afternoon. Big swell coming in.” Mike explained.

Eric beamed a bright smile. “And I don’t just surf the internet.” He joked lamely. Camila snickered, shaking her head in shame at the joke.

Jessica scoffed. “Eric, you stood up once. On a foam board.” She clarified, rolling her eyes.

“There’s whale watching, too. Come with.” Angela said, trying to convince the two girls to accompany the group on their trip.

Eric nudged Camila on the shoulder, smile unwavering. “La Push, baby.” He said again.

Bella let out a groan. “I’ll go if you stop saying that.” She bargained, laughing lightly.

Eric smiled in success, turning back to Camila. “What about you Cam?” He asked.

Camila lulled it over in her mind. She knew that it probably wasn’t the best idea to go, considering that it was the middle of the winter in Washington, and most likely, her parents wouldn’t let her go even if she wanted to. She shook her head, an apologetic look on her face. “Sorry, I should probably stay home. I’ve got a bunch of homework to finish.” She lied, trying her best to sound believable.

Eric’s smile dropped at her words, a frown replacing it. “Awww, can’t you just do your homework later?” He pushed. She shook her head in response, giving an apologetic smile, slightly annoyed that he wouldn’t just take no for an answer.

Lunch dragged on as she slowly ate away at her food. The daily trip to the cafeteria was like a blessing and curse, she had thought. While it was great to get a brief break from the physical and mental exertion of the day, it also made it that much harder to seem normal to everyone else around her. Any other time, she would push off eating, usually having the best luck with taking supplement pills and drinking protein shakes, those making her the least nauseas. However, she knew that would look odd to her new friends. If she stuck to only those options, it would be only a matter of time before they noticed something was up. With her luck, they would think she had an eating disorder or something.

Finally, the bell rang, signaling the end of lunch. She pulled herself to a stand, as she grabbed her picked over food tray. She pushed her aching muscles forwards the cafeteria doors, dumping her tray into one of the awaiting trash cans when a tall dark silhouette rushed to her side.

“Camila.” Tyler greeted, slinging an arm around her shoulders. The action caused pain to shoot down her spine and she had to bite her tongue in an attempt to stop herself from wincing. Tyler had made a point that week to be as friendly as possible, and even though more than just the pain of his action was making her uncomfortable, she didn’t want to come off rude.

“Tyler.” She greeted back, trying her best to keep the grimace off of her face. He was just being nice and friendly, that was all.

“I was wondering.” He started, pausing for what she could only imagine was dramatic effect. “Prom?” He asked somewhat randomly, a wide grin spreading across his face.

Camila’s mind reeled. Was that really how he was going to ask? She wouldn’t have said yes anyway, not being interested in going to prom at all, much less with Tyler Crowley, but that really was a terrible way of asking. She got along with him well, sure, but she didn’t want to date him.

“Can’t.” She said, voice filled with fake regret. She tried to quickly come up with an excuse for her denial. She definitely couldn’t use homework again. “I… already have plans with someone. Not prom related.” She said awkwardly.

The smile dropped from his face, disappointment replacing it, clear as day. “With who? You can’t reschedule? I mean it’s prom.” He tried to reason.

Fuck. She hadn’t thought that far ahead. Clearly, she wasn’t very good at coming up with excuses and clearly, these boys weren’t good at just taking no for an answer. A normal person would’ve just taken the rejection and left, but of course Tyler and Eric had to be persistent. She thought quickly of someone who she could explain the whole situation to the easiest. “Jasper. Do you know him?” She asked casually. Surely Jasper would understand why she had added him in on her scheme, especially since he had seemed so respectful in keeping her secret in tact previously.

Tyler’s eyes widened slightly. “Jasper Hale? Yeah I know of him.” He said incredulously. What was she doing with that weirdo? He had seen the two together before the biology field trip, but had thought it was some weird fluke, but now she was scheduling dates with him?

——————

“I didn’t know we had plans for prom night.” Jasper said casually once she had sat herself down at their shared table in calculus later that day.

She groaned at his words. How had he possibly heard? Did Tyler talk to him? Surely not. She knew the majority of the school would never willingly put themselves in a conversation with anyone from the family, since they usually seemed very intimidating. So that only left him hearing the conversation, and there was no way that had happened. She had seen him across the room, much too far away, when Tyler had came up to her. Maybe he had some kind of super hearing?

She pushed the rushing thoughts aside, trying not to get too caught up in the mystery. “Sorry.” She murmured. “I just needed an excuse out.” She reasoned. Jasper of course knew the reason that she had came up with the ‘date’ in the first place, but he did find himself slightly disappointed that she did not, in fact, want to go on a date with the ‘Cullen weirdo’.

“It’s okay.” He reassured her, because it was okay. He knew that she didn’t mean it maliciously, just knowing that he knew the truth of why she couldn’t go. “Out of curiosity though, is it just because of you know what that you said no? Or would you have said yes otherwise?” He asked.

He couldn’t help himself from asking. The question had been racing through his mind since lunch and he knew it was because of jealousy. That much was obvious, hell, he was jealous when Alice hugged her. However, he also knew that he had no right to be jealous. She in no way belonged to him, even if Alice had seen them together as mates. In reality, she didn’t owe him anything, and as much as it pained him to watch, if that’s how she wanted to spend the remainder of her life, he knew he would support her through it every step of the way.

Camila blushed lightly in embarrassment, causing the burn in his throat to intensify slightly. “Well, more than that, I guess.” She said. “Three reasons really. One, you know what. Two, he asked me in a terrible way and I’m not at all interested anyway. Three, no dating for me. It’s one of few rules I have for myself.” She murmured lowly, trying to keep her voice down so others wouldn’t hear her.

His heart, if it had still been beating, would’ve leapt at the news that she didn’t not like Tyler in that way. However, almost immediately after, his chest ached for her. He could feel her sadness with the confession and it pained him to realize that she was afraid of growing too close to someone. He wanted to press the topic, to sooth her discomfort, but he knew that now was not the right time.

Jasper sat up a bit straighter in his chair, an idea coming to mind. “Would you maybe want to hang out tomorrow? We could go somewhere or stay in, whatever you want.” He suggested, nerves filling his chest once more.

As Camila sat there, mulling the invite over in her mind, she took note that the anxiety she had felt when invited to the beach, was nowhere to be seen. Jasper made her comfortable, and she wasn’t sure if that was because of him knowing her secret, or something else entirely.

What she did know, is that she definitely wanted to get to know him more. To figure out what made him so different from the rest. To piece together all of the confusing details that he had shared with her.

She sucked in a breath and spoke. “I’d love to.”

Next Chapter

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nacricissa · 1 year ago

Text

If you care to read my version of these events

It is going to break me. I close the door to our improbably large closet. Part of my mind tries to go off on an tangent, berating Alice for her incongruous request, but it can't, my immortal brainpower is already all taken up. In the master bedroom, Bella's quiet breathing persists. I know her well enough, after so much time together, that I have to rally myself to keep from calculating out how many of these untroubled breaths she has.

Every surface in the house is immaculate. Even the last traces of human touch, from the people who sawed the lumber, packaged the paintings, delivered the whitewash to the hardware store, all these people who did not know their labour would serve vampires, in the end. Even the slightest whiff of any scent, never mind human scent can be overwhelming. The house Carlisle had carried me to, in my delirium, had smelt overwhelmingly. There simply hadn't been enough chemicals around to replace the smell of that much death.

Here, though, I could control the number of scents that would assault Bella's already overwhelmed senses when she woke. I will not be able to bring myself to leave her side once it has started, so it must be done now, in this last moment of deep sleep before I will hear her last sleep-spoken words. She once asked me if that was why I would not want her to remain human, to keep the tiny window I have into her mind, absent the panorama to which I an accustomed. It's an awful thought, a repugnant one, but it is hard to tell sometimes if I am lying to myself when I say that is no part of my motivation. It is not the greater part of my motivation, of course, of that much I am sure. Nonetheless, though the selfish part of me does crave how safe she will be, from her own clumsiness, my fallibility, it may also resent the loss of that one source of unquestionable truth. I've noticed Jasper pays less attention to people's facial expressions, now that he does not need them to tell a person's mood.

She called me, "Edward!"

It was a quiet gasp, and I heard her roll over, felt the subtle shift in the weight of the house. I was out of time.

She spoke little, that final night. My name, as she so often had. The "I love you," that was just as mystifying as the first time I had heard it. She was also reaching for the tiny, crescent-shaped scar on her left hand, as she had done unconsciously so many times since our return from Isle Esme. Her last dormant words were "Edward, please..!" A mumble, trailing off into slumber impossible to tell the emotion behind. Impossible to tell what she was begging me for, what the emotion was behind her words. Jasper was gone with the others, hunting until I had finished this. It was even more shameful, to do this out of sight, like the crime it was, but Bella deserved the privacy. Carlisle was staying this one last night at the house, to make sure nothing went wrong, and Jasper and Alice would be returning on the third day, to help Bella recover.

She had wanted to stay. To support me, she said. Her thoughts were clouded with one of her self-distraction tricks, but for a moment I saw a flash of myself. How my face would look over the next three days. It looked right, deserved. I told her to enjoy the hunt.

Bella woke quickly, her eyes snapping open suddenly after only a few restless snuggles down into the comforter. She smiled broadly at me, but when my answering smile betrayed more of my stress than I had hoped the trepidation in her eyes began to drain into the rest of her face.

"You don't have to do this." I begged, knowing it would make no difference. As Rosalie had guessed, I could not refuse Bella.

She shook her head slowly. "Last breakfast time" she said.

"Of course"

I ran to the kitchen Esme had designed for us. Sunshine yellow walls, oak wood cabinets, and several plants the care of which Bella insisted was mine alone, made the small space feel cozy, but still small. I pulled the fridge open, it's doors paneled to match the wood of the rest of the kitchen. The stove was a combination range, the same kind of which my mother had been so proud to own. It was perhaps fitting, that it would be useful as a fireplace, once today's meals had been cooked and the gas line disconnected to reduce the fire risk.

I had asked Bella to pick out her meals, given her free reign to be as extravagant as she wished. She'd asked for eggs for breakfast. Cheese omelet, not even seasoned with more than salt and pepper. I imagined the choice was based on her honeymoon meals. She was comemmorating her human life with a memory that was not even human. My head bowed over the sizzling butter, and Bella moved to the closet to grab the outfit she and Alice had negotiated. It was much less grandiose than Alice would have liked, much less subtle than Bella had initially planned, and painfully, gorgeously blue. I had set it out the previous night so that Bella would not be forced to navigate the closet beyond the single rack of clothing she had brought from Charlie's house.

I had a few more minutes to compose myself, as Bella got changed and freshened up, and the eggs slowly puffed up around the melting cheese. I moved slowly now, so that I would not appear to be waiting impatiently for her. As she walked out of the bathroom, her omelet was sliding onto her plate, as close an approximation as I could manage to the facial expression she called her "favourite crooked smile" on my face.

It must have worked, as what little nervousness I had seen on her face as she woke was gone, even as I searched. She walked up, the wide-legged satin pants swishing gently, her favourite fuzzy socks on her feet despite the relatively warm weather. The lighter blue of the flowing top was a perfect complement to the sapphire of the bottoms, to the chocolate brown of her eyes.

I did not want to blink, today. "You look perfect."

The ache was in my voice. The blood was in her cheeks, again, one of the last times. "You'll miss it?"

"Of course." I murmured, then spoke louder, "You will always be beautiful."

The day moved on. We went for a picnic in the meadow, Bella tracing patterns in the light that reflected and refracted off my skin. She had already said goodbye, such as it was, to her family. She did not want them to believe she was dead, only run off with me. She wouldn't be visiting home much, she'd told them. She would still write. It was a cruel thing, but I kept the melancholy out of my tone. I would have three days for guilt.

As twilight fell, we were in our room. I'd called it the easiest time, perhaps that is why Bella had chosen it. Bella did not like needles, so I had swallowed enough morphine as she'd had her last human shower. I would be able to inject it along with the venom, when it was time. Bella didn't really care for needles, somehow the idea of my teeth was more appealing.

We lay, the blanket between us for only a few minutes of quiet conversation. "I'm ready," she insisted.

"I do not know if I am"

"Mind over matter," she chided me. "Be ready"

I looked into her eyes, the perfect brown for the last time, and kissed her. Then I opened my mouth and let my teeth graze her tongue. She made a noise, quiet, caught, suppressed, but I knew it was time. The pain would be overwhelming anyway, but the more venom I got into her the less time she would have to endure it, even if the morphine did work. I had already brought it back up, to let it flow into her in advance of my venom.

With each brush of my lips over her beating blood vessels, she gasped. I bit down, let the morphine flow. The taste of her blood was just as overpowering as the first time I had tasted it. I let it wash over my mind until I judged enough venom had been washed into her bloodstream. I kissed the wound shut. Then I repeated the arduous process again. Again. Again. I glanced at her face as I moved from one artery to the next. Her teeth were clenched, her face in a contorted smoothness that betrayed great pain. Pain she was trying to hide.

"Don't make this harder for yourself" I chided softly, but then my lips were once again on her skin, I could understand nothing but the promise of the taste that still beat behind that fragile barrier.

When I resurfaced from the torrent, still no sound escaped her lips, though her mouth was open. There was panic in her eyes. I had injected enough venom at this point that the advance guard of morphine was clearly not enough.

"I am so sorry," I told her again. "It's ok to scream"

The phrase brought back a memory, Rosalie reflecting on a conversation she had had with Bella, before. When there was still hope in my mind that Bella might escape me. She had told Bella it did no help to scream. I had told her that Carlisle hadn't. She was going to try to spare me. It was ridiculous, how giving, how passionate she was. She deserved better than this.

I would be as close to that better man she deserved as I could. I took her body, oddly more relaxed, and cradled it to my chest to sing. She had prepared a playlist, songs she thought sounded better in my voice. She hasn't been around long enough to have a great depth to her taste in music, but she somehow found seventy-two hours worth of music she thought sounded better when I sang it. The compliment boggled my mind.

As I sang, she did not move. I began to vacillate between hope that it meant the morphine was working, that she was able to sleep through the horror, and worry, that I had done something wrong, that the transformation would instead kill her. I ran, "Mad World", the original Tears for Fears version, still on my lips. As I approached the house, Bella in my arms, I murmured in between lines, just loud enough Carlisle would hear. "Something's wrong"

He assured me nothing was. Her heart beat loudly, not even frantically. Even though I could no longer smell even a trace of morphine, he assured me it was the only explanation. Mollified, if still worried, I returned to the cottage, to sing her into her immortal life.

Without Alice I had less advance warning of when Bella would wake. I had some, first, because of the shift in her heartbeat, picking up the pace as the final traces of human blood sank into her tissues. Her scent was still the best I had ever experienced, but the burning in my throat I had grown accustomed to ignoring over the past years was steadily subsiding. The second reason I knew she would be waking soon was because I heard the others returning. Alice could be relied upon for impeccable timing.

As the others entered the living room, Bella opened her eyes. They shone like rubies against her skin, now even lighter than it had been before. The blue of her clothes was like rain against fire, her features were preternaturally beautiful and had scarcely changed.

Her eyes darted at immortal speed around the room, taking in the details her human eyes had missed. The exact weak points in the wood, the particles in the air. She took her first immortal breath, and the exhale filled the air with her sweet perfume. Then she stretched, taking stock of her form, still cradled in my arms.

She tensed, and I moved to let her go, but not as fast as she went. My arms stung at the force with which she leapt across the room. "Bella?"

I refocused on the minds of the others. Alice had seen that coming and was mocking me for not reacting faster. Jasper could see that her reaction was one of fear, of confusion, but the emotions were already clearing.

"Bella, love? I know it's disorienting, but you're alright. Everything's fine," I reassured her, reaching out gently for her.

She leapt into me, enfolding me in a crushing embrace. I would have let her do it, if not for the fact that when I read Jasper to see she had no ill intent, I also saw his assessment of how much damage a newborn as young as Bella was probably doing to me. I did not want to rebuff her, though.

"Um... carefully Bella. Ow"

Her arms disappeared immediately, much to my chagrin.

"It's ok," I smiled, and replaced her arms around me. "Your turn not to break me"

She was sufficiently taken aback by that that I could see her reply almost form on her lips before she caught herself. Then, her hand moved achingly, almost humanly slowly up to touch my face. She stared into my eyes.

"I love you"

Can you imagine if Bella didn't have a nightmare pregnancy and her being turned into a vampire was actually romantic?

Edward learns how to make her favorite food for her last human meal, they have it picnic style in their meadow before running back to Edward's house. All the Cullen's are gone for privacy (Carlisle is close by in case of emergency) but Edward takes Bella up to his room and lays her on the bed in her favorite comfy clothes, they hold each other and he whispers reassurances in her ear while leaving little kisses all over her face. When Bella's ready, Edward holds her in his arms and pulls back her hair, he bites her neck softly before licking the mark, sealing it closed with his venom. He bites her wrists, gently licking and kissing until he's sure she's got enough of his venom in her system. Edward holds Bella for three days while she burns. He recites her favorite books, poems, hums her lullaby, tells her stories about his long life until at last she starts to twitch in his arms. He looks into the face of the most beautiful girl in his universe and she opens her eyes to stare back at him in absolute wonder.

#y'know what I can imagine that #twilight renaissance #perhaps more angst than romance but Edward's perspective has always felt more natural for me to write #team edward #nacrinspired #fanfic #romance #may be overly referential but i care not for such petty qualms

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therealvinelle · 3 years ago

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so, i know the cullens feed on animals but - what kind of pets do you think they would have if they didn't/were human?

Relevant post, covering the cats vs. dogs issue.

Also, I think I'll interpret this ask as "what pet might they have had in life", because if I try to envision the Cullens as humans in the 21st century I'll overthink it and you'll get insanity as your answer.

Alright, so with that in mind...

Alice, gosh, I'm thinking something completely anachronistic, like an exotic bird that Mary Alice kept in a cage, a bird that didn't thrive and eventually died. When she later wound up in the asylum, she wondered if that bird hadn't been a physical manifestation of her gift, warning her of what was to come.

Bella didn't have a pet, but I suppose Charlie might've ended up with one in an AU. Maybe if someone in the neighborhood had a litter of puppies and kittens, and Charlie, lonely as he was before Bella moved to Forks, accepted one in a moment of weakness.

Not much changes, apart from the cat or dog being severely distressed each night soon after Bella moves back home, losing weight and stressing like nobody's business. Charlie has no idea what's causing it. When Edward leaves in New Moon the pet is magically fine again, and Charlie wouldn't have made the connection, too distracted by his daughter's depression, if the pet hadn't returned to its panicked state the moment Edward returns. It becomes another one of Charlie's many reasons for hating Edward, because Charlie has seen enough domestic violence cases to recognize this particular pattern. It is a proof that something bad happens when he's not around.

But, Bella refuses to change her mind about Edward, and he can only stand to the side as she marries him.

Then, after Bella has transformed, the pet is now terrified of her as well.

In the end, Charlie gifts the pet to Billy.

Carlisle, I'm thinking cat. Horses require too much maintenance, and when there was only him and his father there wouldn't be much point in putting in the work and resources for a horse. Yes, horses are nice, but as they lived in the city, in the parish at that, they wouldn't have had much need for a horse. Of course, they might have had one, I confess I don't know much about horse ownership in the 17th century nor about the purchasing power of the 17th century middle class, but I do know horses and they are a lot of work. The Cullens would have needed to rent a box stall, where it would have been an expenditure.

Cats, on the other hand, free to acquire, get rid of the mice and the rats (very necessary in a city like London), and great company. If the Cullens didn't have a cat (or cats plural) of their own then they would have still had neighborhood cats.

Edward I can see as having a dog, that is, Elizabeth Masen might have had a dog. A well trained, purebred dog that she proudly proclaimed to be "so patient with Edward!" when Edward was a dog-ear-pulling-toddler.

Emmett was a huntsman, and so might have had a tracking dog of some kind, or a friend had one that he borrowed - it's very common among hunters that if you don't have a dog of your own, you have a friend who lets you borrow his.

Esme I hope didn't have a pet when she was married to Charles, as it's very common for domestic abusers to threaten to hurt the animal to control their victim. Hopefully she had a wonderful dog when she was a child, though.

Jasper was a high-ranking military man, was probably issued a horse.

Rosalie's parents were social climbers. If they had a pet, it would have been a dog of a breed that said "Hi, we're classy". Alas, I know which breed that would be in contemporary Norway (English. Setter.) but I'm less sure about a 1930's American couple. Americans, I've found, are doing their own thing altogether.

I'd say a Cocker Spaniel, those are old English hunting dogs but also adorable.

#cullens #twilight #twilight meta #twilight renaissance #bella swan #alice cullen #carlisle cullen #esme cullen #edward cullen #emmett cullen #jasper hale #rosalie hale #domestic abuse mention cw #tw domestic abuse mention

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aquanova99 · 3 years ago

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When I tell you that I am sleepy, im telling you I typed this ask twice in the search bar. 😫

Have you given your in-depth thoughts on Esme before? Thanks to many in the fandom yourself included, I’ve grown to like Jane, Rosalie, and Leah. I wanna love the women so bad (minus Alice). But tell me, do you think Steph just did her dirty? Do you think she’s a doormat? Is there something in her that you like that I can’t see yet? She’s gorgeous, but her characterization is hard to want to defend.

I have to agree with you anon, love Elizabeth Reaser but Esme seems to be lacking. Its no ones fault but SMeyers, but we are just not given enough. And what we do get is pretty strange.

I don't necessarily see Esme as a doormat but as someone who needs is clinging to this illusion of a perfect family. She's a stay at home mom for kids who don't eat, don't make too much of a mess and don't need to be coddled/cuddled. What on earth is she doing all day? They don't even have any dust to shed, so she cannot be cleaning endlessly. Does she just watch daytime soap operas and Ellen? She doesn’t even have a car, I’m so serious it’s in the illustrated guide. She can’t even pretend to be human. I mean we know her control isn’t great so it’s probably for the best but still, give her a minivan for gods sakes. As another woman with a terrifying tragic backstory, you would think there was more depth but the more you peel back on Esme we just get nothing? No thoughts head empty kind of vibe. I say this because upon trying to find exactly what chapter it was (Eclipse CH 9 btw) Esme suggests that a vampire might be in Bellas room because they are curious about the Cullens and they might not have any bad intentions. Ma'am, your future daughter in law is walking safety hazard to herself, please get it together, no random vampire is going to come in a humans room looking for more vampire friends.

She also does not seem to care for human life as much as the Cullens all say they do, since we see in Midnight Sun that when Carlisle sent Esme to try and get her to tell Edward he should stay away from Bella, Esme is perfectly fine with him eating her if it makes Edward happy and less stressed. I--

And while we are on Edward, there does seem to be that weird boy mom energy with him. She tells Bella hes the best out of all the Cullens, like her other "children" aren't right there??? I mean most likely Edward reminds him of the son she lost and what he may have turned out to be, but Edward is quite literally a weirdo. But at least if SMeyer had dug into that maybe it would have made her character more interesting. Instead she is given the ability to love? I just dont really get that. Shes also more than happy, and not at all triggered by Ragdoll. Bella is the hero once again because her daughter (that she never takes care of) has given Esme, and Rosalie the fulfilment of the baby they lost or never had.

I would have loved if after Bella took Rigatoni, she pulls Carlisle aside and says she needs some time away because shes realizing that it isnt her baby and it never will be. And the sped up process probably would hurt her too.

There isnt really anything to hate about her, she is the only Cullen besides Carlisle that doesnt call Jacob and the rest of the Quileute's dogs or mutts, so she does get some bonus points there. I think my biggest disdain of hers is how much she enables Edward. Not in the way Alice does, just in the way that he can seem to do no wrong. Rosalie even calls herself and the others substitutes. Which is so sad, but Esme is only like 26, so the Cullens probably cant fit into the ' i need to protect these babies at all costs,' it probably breaks the illusion. Which is why I imagine Edward, a boy that was probably skin and bones about to die of the flu probably brings out her maternal side, he is going to be permanently look like a sick child that needs her care, because as much as everyone loves Rob, Edward was only 17. A sick, almost dead 17 year old boy from the 1900's, mans was itty bitty (theory???that thats why Bella also was drawn to him, since she always feels like she has to take care of people)

Honestly, I think I wrote her as an unhinged antagonist once because I feel like she could be in the right circumstances, but because of the lack of information she could go either way. She's just another character we have to like because she likes Bella. Even then, its always to serve Bella. I have my own headcanons on how she should be because in the end, if we go by SMEYERS CANON then we know that the mindset you die in, is the mindset you stay in. Meaning Esme should be terrified of being intimate with a man even if it is Carlisle. Probably more so since her first husband was so charming until he wasnt. She should be in a state of constant depression because she literally unalived herself. But she was turned and wheee I get to be with the man I had a crush on when I was a teenager (we are not digging that up) and wheee I get to be a mom to an angsty emo child.

To give her some hope, I will say that its all a trauma response, which should be plausible thanks to canon but in my world it can. But boy, getting her to open up to some kind of vampire therapist and who knows what they could find.

#aquas asks #esme cullen

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yugirl · 4 years ago

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I found an old ship meme so I decided to do Connectionshipping with it! Let’s go!!

Who made the first move;

Jaden was but he was completely oblivious as to what he was doing.

Who said ‘I love you’ first;

Jaden says it platonically at first but since he struggles with telling people how he really feels about them it takes either Jesse, Bastion or even Chazz to say it to the group with meaning. Jaden is able to say it eventually but it takes time.

How often do they fight;

very little but when they do it’s rarely over something petty. Words with bones tend to get thrown around and everyone feels pretty crummy afterwards. It takes a while for them to apologise and when they do they do whatever it takes to make it up to each other. They love each other and would never want to truly break up what they have.

Who’s big spoon/little spoon;

they don’t spoon they usually tangle themselves up in knots. They do have an order though. Jaden sleeps in the middle as he usually goes to bed first. Jesse isn’t too far behind him as he doesn’t stay up much later Chazz sleeps next to Jaden because he likes to sleep on the outside so he can stick his feet out of the bed when he’s hot and Bastion sleeps on the outside next to Jesse so he can read with the lamp on and Jesse isn’t as sensitive to light as Jaden is.

What their nicknames are for each other;

Jaden: Jess, Chazzaroo, Bas

Jesse: Jay, Chazzy, Bas

Chazz: Slacker, Nerd, Dork

Bastion: absolutely not he despises using nicknames. Though he might add a “darling” or “sweetheart”

Who’s the better cook;

I want to go either Jaden or Bastion. I imagine Chazz is too lazy or proud to learn and Jesse is a bit absent minded leading to him being a bit hopeless in the kitchen. So these two take charge. Jaden and Bastion learnt to fend for themselves growing up Matilda style.

Their song;

this is annoying. I can’t use more than friends less than heroes because that’s my primaryshipping song. What to do what to do...

If anyone has song ideas please tell me.

Who remembers their anniversaries;

ok, this might sound strange, but Chazz. A lot of people think in comparison to the others he doesn’t bring much to the relationship besides money because of his tough nature. But that’s far from the truth. The anniversaries are actually a really big deal to him because it means the relationship has stayed together. He’s still in a relationship and he’s still loved and he wants to express to the others how much it really means to him. He writes his “cringey” poetry, he buys them things, and he treats them to dinner. The others keep assuring Chazz he doesn’t need to do this but he is very insistent. The others accept because that’s how Chazz shows his love and eventually they get in on the event. Though Jaden still has a terrible time remembering which causes him a great deal of anxiety.

Their favorite thing to do together (besides sex);

Jaden likes so lounge around and cuddle, Bastion just wants to be in company with the others even if it means being dragged into shenanigans, Chazz secretly likes taking group naps and Jesse likes going on mini trips with the group.

Who ‘wears the pants’ in the relationship;

I think they all wear pants? I mean sometimes Bastion, Jesse and Jaden will wear shorts in the summer and Jaden will sometimes breakout skirts when it’s particularly warm to feel the breeze on his legs. He also likes to wear ball gowns.

How they would get engaged;

It’s a mess. Mostly because they all decided to propose on the same day. normally this would be fine but all four of them have such unique ideas that clash.

Chazz is trying to propose to each of them individually because it would be easier but it’s hard to get any of them alone.

Jesse is trying to get everyone together to propose to all of them at once but they keep running off.

Bastion has the perfect day planned out but it back fires because everyone has other plans and they keep missing his bookings.

Jaden as always is trying to do it on the fly but everyone’s acting weird and it’s stressing him out.

Eventually the day ends with no proposals and everyone is upset and cranky because it all went wrong and they’re all about to go to sleep when Jaden blurts out “will you marry me?”

And everyone snaps awake like “what!?”

Jaden explains it just felt right... asking them now.

Jesse bursts out laughing because of course Jaden’s the one to get it right in the end

Bastion is red and flustered but of course he says yes

Chazz is embarrassed but buries his face in Jaden’s chest and says yes

What would their wedding be like;

A small private affair among Friends and Duel Spirits. Jesse picked out the rings because of his crystal knowledge and has the bands custom made so each ring looks unique but all four after clearly part of a set. It’s a Topaz for Bastion, a Ruby for Jaden, a Sapphire for Jesse and an Amethyst for Chazz.

All four walk down the isle together, all in personalized suits (but Jaden might we’re a dress? Haven’t decided yet).

The ceremony is short and sweet but the reception lasts hours because duel academy kids know how to party.

How many kids would they have;

Thanks to @silverfrostheart and @life-0r-death we have 3 fan children for this lovely family.

Aurora (Jesse x Jaden), Rosalie (Bastion x Jaden) and an as yet unnamed son (Chazz x Jaden)

#yugioh #jaden yuki #yugioh gx #meme #yu-gi-oh!#chazz princeton #bastion misawa #jesse anderson #yuki judai #judai yuki #misawa daichi #daichi misawa #manjoume jun #manjoume thunder #jun manjoume #johan andersen #Connectionshipping

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stemroses · 2 years ago

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Ok hold on

I have 2 ao3 accounts (actually 3 but none of you will know about the 3rd) so it’s mainly just 2 fandoms 👍🏾👍🏾

Key: 🌹= has art or something with it. ✨= written for someone.

Promise. Supernatural. Nick x Lucifer. Wc: 510. To say that this was Nick’s fault wouldn’t be a fair statement. Nick sat upon his bed waiting for his husband to come home. No call, no text. Silence. Impatiently Nick waited. The clock read 11:17pm. Lucifer promised this morning he’d be home by 9pm.

Breath. Sanders Sides. Roman x Remus. Wc: 441. To say that this was all Remus’s idea would be a lie. Remus opening his mouth as wide as he could, practically unhinged his jaw in the process. Titling this head back while on his knees in front of Roman. “I don’t know” Roman says uncertainty wrapped tightly around his word. “It’ll be fine. Just don’t stop.”

Cabin. Sanders Sides. Roman x Remus. Wc: 3274. ✨ 🌹Roman looked over everything he had in his bag. Lube, flashlight, vibrator, water. Check, check, check and check. It seems he had everything he needed for the adventure Remus had planned for them. In the past, Roman usually planned the outings. But this time, Remus did everything but begged Roman to let him plan their next date night. Remus didn’t tell him anything, which only made Roman’s mind wonder, racing with all kinds of possibilities.

Tournament. Sanders Sides. Janus x Patton. Wc: 177. ✨ 🌹“So, I don’t understand. Who’s winning babe?” Patton asked as he continued to stir the bowl filled with baby blue goo. It was actually cookies, Patton's version of chocolate chip cookies. It was actually pretty good, but don't let Patton know that Janus said that.

Soon. Sanders Sides, Twilight. Roman Sanders x Rosalie Hale. Wc: 264.🌹 It’s cold outside making the inside almost equally as cold. The sky is switching between light snow and rain, making the stress unbearable and dangerous. It’s way past a decent time to be awake, everyone is at home snuggling in their bed sheets to stay warm from the harsh air outside. But not me, not Roman.

To Appreciate. Marvel. Peter Parker x Tony Stark. Wc: 488. The cafe was a little less crowded than usual today. Maybe because it was really hot outside and no one wanted coffee drinks in the hot weather. That’s probably not true since Tony Stark and Peter Parker were both waiting in line. “So, sweetheart, what’s been new with you?” Tony asks Peter. It was small talk. They’ve been seeing each other for half a year now. Meeting at new locations, or in the middle of an assignment, to chat and such.

Teeth Water. Sanders Sides. Wc: 758. The results from the event that had occurred the day prior had been the easiest 10 dollars Logan has ever made. The whole situation was pretty predictable in Logan’s eyes. It was silly of Remus to have not believed him. Instead they had spent the evening sitting at the kitchen table while Remus pulled out his teeth one by one. 32 teeth as stated.

Human Interaction. Sanders Sides. Wc:459. 🌹 “Are you sure we are heading the correct way?” Logan asked Janus for what seemed like the 1000th time. Logan didn’t miss the eye roll. “Yes, Lo,” Janus replies. Logan looked at his phone again, but there was no signal. “I’m going to look at the map.”

Exercise is fun. Sanders Sides. Logan x Janus. Wc: 862. There's this thing that Logan likes to do when Janus sits in the living room watching TV. Logan loves to walk his happy perky ass into the middle of the living room, lay his mat on the ground and then proceed to do yoga in front of Janus. Which Janus didn’t mind. I mean he was watching TV, but watching Logan do odd things on the floor was more interesting. Today was no different.

Trapped Relationships. Sanders Sides. Roman x Virgil. Wc: 1126. Today they were to have a house party. It’s been in the works for a couple of weeks. Roman stud in the kitchen cooking. He wore his favorite apron as he stirred the mixing of a cake together. Roman hummed to himself. He liked cooking. It was a nice way to keep his hands working. He didn’t hear the door open, but he did hear it slam shut. Virgil was home. Roman felt himself immediately get tense, his muscles locking into place ready for any impact that he might have to encounter. It was almost like a second nature, a familiar body movement.

Rules: share the first lines of ten of your most recent fanfics and tag ten people. If you have written less than ten, don’t be shy and share anyway.

I was tagged by @quietwingsinthesky! thanks Will sorry this is so late asdgfhsdghskdg ok

sighs in my sleep (samifer, 1.9k): When he opens his eyes, he’s looking down at a waterfall in a lush forest. He just takes a moment to breathe, to listen to the water falling loudly, the quiet noise of trees rustling in the wind.

pomegranate sweet (samifer, 2.2k): When he opens his eyes, he's in the motel room Keith lived in for a few weeks with the scratchy red sheets and the dark decor. There's no one else in the room yet, but he doesn't hold out hope. Lucifer has taken to visiting him in his dreams, always asking at least once if he'll say yes and give in.

there is only this, forever (samifer, 1.8k): They roll around on the ground, tearing into each other, anywhere they can reach, as if blinded by a tremendous rage.

for he is a liar, and the father of it (samifer, 4.1k): Sam doesn’t believe in destiny, but he does believe in angels.

on angelic vessels (archangels & vessels, 1.4k): Every single angel that decides to walk the Earth needs a vessel. And Gabriel has been walking the Earth for a long time.

sunshine (samifer, 1.4k): Sam has been dreaming of wings lately, massive pure, colorful wings, with immaculate feathers. He traces his fingers down the curve of Lucifer’s spine, and tries to picture where wings would be on his human vessel.

i taste you on my tongue (sabriel, 1.1k): Sam was on his knees and blindfolded in the middle of the motel floor. He tried moving his hands, but the restraints on his wrists made that almost impossible.

this beautiful, poisonous thing (samifer, 1.5k): “Hey, Sammy,” Lucifer says, appearing beside him in the diner. Sam manages not to jump and takes a breath in instead. He’s not real , he says to himself. He’s not really there, it’s all in my head.

still and quiet (samifer, 400w): Sam is almost afraid to fall asleep that night. He knows by now what must have happened back at Elysian Fields, and he doesn’t know whether he is ready to confront the aftermath of the massacre so soon.

i am all that you need (samifer, 1.6k): When Sam wakes up, he’s not dressed in his pajamas like he was when he went to bed. Gone is his light t-shirt and his loose bottoms. All he has are his boxers and a thin, threadbare blanket to protect his modesty.

no pressure tagging: @synesindri @stemroses @fandom-space-princess and @frumious-bandersnatch-ao3 and anyone else who'd like to do this<3

#just kidding #apparently it’s only just 1 fandom

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since0202 · 4 years ago

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Chapter 39: Clothes

Before Grace went to Sam’s house the next afternoon she swung by to check on Bella. Her life felt like a revolving door of crises: pack, Bella, imprint, injury, pack again, Jacob, unborn mutant vampire baby.

She was pleasantly surprised then to see Bella up and walking around on her own, albeit with Rosalie close by, in what Bella cheerfully referred to as ‘nesting’.

“I feel like there’s just so much to do now and I’m so ready for him,” Bella said, folding Chanel baby blankets ordered by Alice.

“Seems like you’re feeling better then?” Grace let out a tentative sigh and tried to avoid looking at the styrofoam cup that was filled with O negative.

“Yeah, I mean it comes and goes in waves, but it seems to be helping and for now he’s happy so...Grace,” Bella stopped for a moment and looked at her seriously. There were still dark circles running rings around her eyes and her cheeks had not completely plumped back up, but the obvious gauntness had receded. But she was there. “This can really work.”

Grace nodded slowly and put a hand on Bella’s back. Where had she heard that before, she wondered?

Now, as Grace ascended the uneven porch steps to Sam’s front door, Grace tried to catch her breath. She wouldn’t be able to deny that the baby Bella was carrying was not a normal baby now that the blood was clearly working. Sam would not be happy at this revelation, so Grace decided to keep that knowledge in her back pocket for as long as she was able. Maybe not even tell him at all.

She tentatively knocked on the ajar door and let herself in, already feeling awkward.

“Hello?” she called out calmly. The house was eerily quiet, even Emily was absent from the common gathering space in the open kitchen. “Hello?” she called out again. Was this some sort of trick? Grace felt a sickening pang in her stomach. But just as she was about to reach for her phone, Sam came stomping down the hall from the back room where he had used their back door.

He stopped abruptly when he saw Grace and looked around the wide room quickly, “What are you doing here? Where’s Emily?!”

“What? I don’t know, she wasn’t here when I got here,” Grace said affronted.

“Paul said—” Sam grumbled and looked to the side. Ah, so an ambush was necessary. The meeting was not a mutual agreement as Grace had hoped and Sam had to be tricked into coming here. He turned as if to leave.

“Sam…” Grace said softly. He paused, his shoulders already heaving under his heavy breaths. “I need to talk to you… about what happened.”

“What happened exactly Grace?” He was definitely still angry.

“Sam, this isn’t something we should fight through. What happened, happened. Jake became alpha to his own pack and some members have decided to join him. It’s not the end of the world. The burden is less when we all share it. So let’s share it,” Grace said gently. Sam was still rippling with anger, but when he turned to look at her, she could see his face was twisted in pain, his eyes alight with something Grace couldn’t place.

“Do you know what it’s like to lose members of your pack so quickly? To watch them leave and look at you like you’re the crazy one?” Sam’s voice was thick and Grace took a step toward him. A warning growl in the back of her head sounded, telling her to stay put. She listened for now.

“I know what it’s like to be cast out of my pack,” she returned.

“I didn’t—” Sam stammered then, a little bit of the fight draining out of him, “You left me with no choice. You were choosing those bloodsuckers over our family. I had to protect them Grace and you were walking into the line of fire over and over again. That doesn’t just affect you, you know? We all get to feel it, the pain and stress of it.” Sam pushed his shoulders back and stood straighter, “You became the threat and so I felt I did what was necessary. My brothers are my responsibility. Jake will soon learn what the weight of that feels like.”

“Sam, we can still do this together. Just because Jake is alpha doesn’t mean I don’t protect your pack anymore. I’m still here, even when you push me out,” Grace took another step toward him, the rippling had ceased momentarily but the voice in her mind watched warily. “I’m sorry for any stress I caused on the pack mind when I did what I did. That wasn’t fair and I didn’t realize...I didn’t know that,” she concluded.

“Well, now you do. But we can’t join you in this Grace. We don’t know what that thing is and if they bite Bella, we are required by the treaty to take care of it.” Sam said. So bound by rules.

“I won’t let you kill your brothers and kill Bella too,” Grace definitively. At this, Sam was lost to anger once more.

“You’re the one that will kill them!” he shouted now, accused. “You refuse to work with me, to protect these...these kids! They’re kids, Grace and I’m responsible for them.By telling them to ignore the treaty, to ignore their instincts, to not do what’s right—”

“No Sam, to do what you think is right. I’m not going to let anyone get hurt because you’re on a rampage.”

“Your judgement is clouded, Grace.”

“And you’re blinded by a treaty that doesn’t even apply in this situation, Sam!” She gulped, “And what if it was me? You’d kill me then too?” Grace was grasping at straws here. Sam wasn’t going to see it her way and the likelihood that there would be a fight loomed more obvious than ever. Sam steeled himself against her and said through gritted teeth, quite plainly:

“Yes.” Grace’s eyes went wide and the voice in her head was snapping its teeth in obvious aggression. “If it meant keeping them safe, I would.”

“Oh, like you kept Embry safe?” Grace laid too much bare, her resolve weakening as she tried to make Sam see what he was doing. What he was going to do.

Sam was all teeth at this point, his face gritted and his heart hammering in his chest. The voice was clear now:

Time to go, Grace.

“Embry disobeyed an alpha order and was interfering.” Sam was seething now. Grace could understand how that wasn’t his finest moment.

“You could have killed him. And for what? You’re going to kill the others too if you fight against them, you know that. I’m asking you again, please Sam, put down this ridiculous alpha pride.”

“Enough!” he shouted. “You’ve made your decision to defend those demons against your own flesh and blood.”

“My flesh and blood is in there with them! You idiot!” Grace really didn’t mean to resort to name calling at this point in the argument, but she said what she said.This undoubtedly triggered Sam as he now started to shake violently.

What about the girl standing in front of him felt threatening? Was it the fact that she refused to stand down or that she was able to deflect his alpha orders? Grace wasn’t even sure she could deflect Jake’s alpha orders yet because he hadn’t really given her one as alpha.

She could see what was about to happen now as he looked at her, his eyes glassy. He had the self control of Paul at this point. “Sam, Sam, Sam, SAM, DON’T!” Before Grace could even turn to bolt out of the house, he had exploded in front of her. His giant wolf frame smashed a couple of dining room chairs and cracked the countertop of the kitchen island as his body bucked against it. The force of his phase had rocked her back onto the ground where she now looked up at the towering, black wolf. He growled above her and Grace narrowed her eyes. She knew Sam, he wouldn’t take a cheap shot like this.

She stood up and faced him, her voice even and clear, “We’re not going to fight you. Don’t start a war, Sam. You won’t like how it ends,” Grace gave him one final look and turned to walk out the door. She heard the sound of Sam unphasing back in the house but she quickly recast without a second glance back to the edge of the treeline facing the Cullen’s property.

Leah was there first, “How did it go?” she crossed her arms and gave her a bemused smile.

“Oh great! He totally understood and said he had overreacted and was willing to work together on a new treaty that includes protection for my sister and her unborn baby,” Grace gave a wide smile. Leah faltered for a minute and then kept her face hard as stone. Seth crashed into the clearing.

“Wait really!?” he said.

“No,” Grace deflated, “He was a total dick, lost in throes of alpha rage, okay?” Grace let out a groan and stomped her foot in the clearing. “What do I do?” she said annoyed.

“Maybe we ask Ti’Hal or the elders what to do about Sam. He’s clearly out of control,” Leah said matter-of-factly. Grace considered this and then said:

“I need to wait until he actually does something that puts every member of the pack in danger. Unfortunately the thing with Embry was a side effect of disobeying alpha orders and he defected to Jake’s pack, so I’m not sure how sympathetic or alarmed they’d be, no matter how bad that wound was…..No, he’s gotta declare war. And even then, he might be within his grounds to do so if the Cullen’s end up biting Bella. We’re going to have to see this one through without intervention.” Leah watched her for a second, the emotions changing on her face rapidly and then gave one hard nod before phasing into the trees. Seth hung around and gave her a worried look.

“What do we do when they attack us?” Seth said sadly.

“I won’t let them.” Grace didn’t know how, but she wasn’t going to let this come to blows.

Later that night, Grace climbed into bed, completely exhausted. Jacob had the pack running rounds around the Cullen place after the Sam debacle. Grace tried to reassure him that she didn’t think Sam would do anything until the treaty was officially broken, but Jake wasn’t taking any chances. She checked her phone—nothing from Bella— before crawling under the sheets wearing a discarded hoodie Jacob had left behind and some underwear.

Grace was awoken in the middle of the night to a wash of heat rolling over her body. Instinctively, she curled into it and was relieved to feel a large warm arm wrap around her torso and a soft pair of lips brushing across her forehead. After a treasured moment or two with this being she knew all to well without having to open her eyes, she straightened her body and pressed it to his.

Jacob gave a soft growl and pulled her half on top of him as he rolled onto his back.

“How was rounds?” Grace mumbled sleepily into his chest. Jacob let out a low yawn before he responded.

“Fine, no activity.” Jacob had ferreted his hand under the hoodie and placed it flat on her back.

“What are we going to do Jacob? How am I going to stop Sam?” Grace let out a sigh and pressed a kiss into his collarbone absentmindedly.

“Mmmm,” he replied to her lips touching his skin, “We’ll do what we have to. But ultimately, Sam has a choice. We all do. And we’ll make that choice when it comes.” Grace considered this for a minute and as she drifted off to sleep her mind told her to ask something else.

“Jacob?” she felt the soft rise and fall of his chest indicating sleep, “Are you...are you my boyfriend?” she whispered, shyly. Grace didn’t hear an answer and she was pretty sure Jacob hadn’t heard the question either before drifting off.

The next morning as Grace was washing off some fresh fruit to cut up for their breakfast, she had a revelation.

Sam has a choice. We all do.

Jacob had said that last night and Grace hadn’t really let it click until now. As she started chopping the fruit draping it over bowls of oatmeal, she paused. Somehow, Grace was able to disobey Sam’s alpha orders. She thought that it only happened because a member of the pack had been in danger, but as she thought about it...she wondered if there was something else to it.

She had made a choice to let go of the alpha order many times without realizing it, or found a way to circumvent it altogether. She wondered if she could resist an alpha order from Jacob and if it felt the same.

As Jacob clattered down the steps, freshly showered in a white t-shirt and jeans, he leaned over to kiss her temple.

“Looks great, thank you. Can I take these to the table for us?” he said a hand resting on her lower back. Grace nodded absently and watched him as he went to sit at the table.

“Hey Jake?” she said suddenly. His mouth was full of oatmeal as he looked at her. Mouth full he said,

“Yeah?” Grace almost laughed but she was too focused on trying this experiment she had running in her head.

“Would you do something for me?” Jacob watched her carefully and swallowed.

“Of course…”

“I need you to give me an alpha order.” she said simply, looking at him in the eyes now. He watched her for a minute full of surprise before he said.

“What?” Grace came out from behind the counter and leaned her back against it with her arms crossed.

“You said something last night that got me thinking. We all have a choice. I think you’re right.”

“Ooookay,” he said slowly, “But what does me giving you an alpha order have to do with it?”

She stood still for a moment, biting her lip before saying, “I want to see if I can choose not to obey it. I’ve done it before, but only in a serious situation. I want to see if I can do it without the push.”

Jacob kept staring to make sure she was serious and then closed his eyes tightly while he rubbed his hand over them, “Are you sure about this? I mean, I don’t even think I’ve ever given an alpha order.”

“Yes you have,” she corrected him quickly. He looked at her stunned.

“When?!”

“ANSWER ME GRACE ALO,” she tried to imitate his gruff voice in that moment when Bella had come back from the honeymoon and she was too shell shocked to share she was pregnant.

“That came out as an alpha order?!” he said incredulous. “But I wasn’t even alpha then!”

“Tell me about it. You did it when you left as well.” Grace recalled that horrible day and then shook it away.

“Woah,” Jake said, mind blown. “Okay, ummm.” He stood up and rubbed his broad hands on his jeans. “Okay, I can try I guess.” He cleared his throat and Grace let a small smile tug at her lips. She was itching to laugh at how ridiculously adorable he was being right now.

This giant man before her, true born alpha, 6’5” Adonis was trying to muster everything to give her an order she couldn’t refuse and he had no idea how to do it.

“Make it good. Something I want to refuse,” Grace said putting her hands on her hips now and steeling herself.

“Well that’s no fun,” Jacob said, “I’d never want to order you to do something you didn’t want to do.”

“Jake, come on,” she whined. He looked at her and licked his lips almost imperceptibly, his mind wild with ideas.

“Okay, okay, ummmm,” he stood directly in front of her now, fists clenched and said, “Come over here.” He tried to sound stern but it only made Grace laugh. “Did it work?”

“Absolutely not, not even close, what was that?!” Grace let out a giant laugh and he watched her delightedly, so pleased that he could pull a sound like that from her.

“Okay, let me try again.” He stared at her for a long time again and then said, “Grace, you...get over here right now!” Grace crumpled to the floor in laughter and he held his hands out, a smile beaming from his face as he chuckled with her, “Don’t laugh! Hey! HEY! Don’t you LAUGH!” He was volleying between laughter and trying to sound stern and she couldn’t handle it. Tears were coming to her eyes now as her sides ached from laughter.

“Please stop, oh my god.” She picked herself up off the floor and once she had calmed herself down, she said, “You really don’t know how to tap into the alpha tone?” he shrugged.

“Maybe I can only do it if someone is in danger, or it’s something I really really need or want to have them do?” He said inquisitively.

“Hmmm,” Grace said, crossing her leg in front of the other. And then, another idea. “Okay…” she looked at him with a devilish grin and he perked up, “Tell me to take my top off.” She said matter of factly.

“Wh-what?” he stammered. “Grace what do you—”

“Is that not something you want?” She said, trying to challenge him, tease him.

“I mean yeah, but I—”

“Then tell me to do it, as alpha. Tap into that feeling of want or need. See if you can pull the alpha voice from that,” Grace said confidently. “Do it.”

“I don’t know,” he said hesitantly, but then he looked her up and down, checked over his shoulder toward the front door and his excitement got the better of him. “Okay...here goes nothing.”

Grace held that devilish smile on her face and waited. She saw Jacob concentrating very hard and wanted to laugh again but didn’t and then:

“Grace. Take your shirt off.” His tone was clear, definitive and everything in her body and mind told her to obey. She felt herself begin to shake. For a moment there she didn’t think he’d be able to do it, but apparently, the want was greater than she anticipated. Her hands itched at her sides as they slowly came to rest on either side of her hips starting to lift the hem of her shirt. Jacob’s eyes widened and he took a step toward her as if to stop her himself. But he didn’t. Grace, not able to stop herself, lifted the shirt up over her head and tossed it aside. She let out a breath she had been holding once she was free of the shirt and looked at him. Jake watched her for direction.

“Give me another one,” she said softly, her eyes glued to his. He swallowed hard and said after a minute.

“Take off your pants.” Grace’s hands shot to her waist and quickly unbuttoned her jeans, sliding them down around her ankles, “You’re supposed to try and fight the alpha command.” He said, still wide eyed.

“I know,” she breathed, “Let me try again.” The smile was back on his face as he said.

“Take off your bra.” Grace raised an eyebrow at this and tried to hold her hand down at her side for as long as she could. The muscles in her arms started to ache and she knew where to find relief. A small groan escaped her lips and Jacob raised an eyebrow at her, tilting his head to the side. He was enjoying this, but only because he could see she was enjoying it too. “Grace. Take off your bra. Now.” His voice shattered through her and her hand shot up to quickly unsnap the fastener in the back as she let it fall from her body, now exposed.

Her breathing quickened as she watched, elated, as his eyes dragged over her body, coming to rest on her face. She didn’t know how someone could look at her like that and expect her not to do something. He took another few steps toward her and placed his hands gently on her sides, letting the fingertips of his right hand coast up and gently graze the bottom of her exposed breast. Grace gasped as she tilted her head up at him to see that his warm eyes were awash with desire. He leaned his head down to bring his forehead to hers and said softly.

“To answer your question, yes,” he paused looking into her eyes. She was suddenly confused and then he said, “I am your boyfriend. If that’s what you want.” His lips softly grazed hers, teasing again. She pressed her chest to his clothed one and his other hand gripped her hip tightly.

“I would like that very much,” she said. He gave her a small smile before dipping his head to bring his lips onto hers and then.

“OH JEEZ. OH FUCK! OH GOD SORRY SORRY SORRY. Occupado, got it!” Embry was covering his eyes and backing out of the door with his eyes covered. Jacob instinctively moved in front of Grace to cover her from view and turned to look at Embry.

“Dude! Can you KNOCK!?” He said, anger clear in his tone. One of his hands was behind him, resting on Grace’s abdomen. She wrapped her hands around his arm and peeked around him.

“Hey Em!” she said, gleefully.

“Wha- Grace! No!” He said trying to block her.

“Oooh wait, no this might work, Em! Come back!” Grace said her eyes bright with mischief. Embry poked his head around the door one hand still covering his eyes.

“Everyone decent?” He called.

“Not in the slightest, get in here, I want to test something!” Grace said peering around Jake again.

“Are you crazy?!” Jacob whirled around on her trying to pick up her clothes in the process and push them on her body. “Put your clothes on!”

“Is that an order?” Grace lifted an eyebrow.

“Is this like some kinky sex shit I shouldn’t know about until I’m older? Or?” Embry joked, standing fully in the door with a hand still over his eyes.

“Grace. I swear,” Jacob was talking through gritted teeth now. This might be an easy way to pull an alpha order.

“Embry take your hand off of your eyes.” Grace said, he did and Grace laughed, “I don’t even need to be alpha to do that.” she joked at Jacob. His hands were all over her now, trying to simultaneously cover her. “Better give me an alpha order or your best friend is about to see your girlfriend naked.” She wagged her eyebrows suggestively as Jacob’s face turned red.

“Awww, you guys are official? Congrats!” Embry said sweetly from the door frame.

“Grace this isn’t funny. Put your clothes on,” he said through gritted teeth.

“Not unless it’s an order. Hey Em, you like boobs?” Grace said as she tried to duck to the side of Jacob. He caught her around the waist and pulled her back behind him.

“Grace!” He said, the fire in his eyes now. “This isn’t funny. Put. Your. Clothes. On. Now.” There it was. Full alpha. Her heart hammered in her chest and she immediately felt weak like her lungs would collapse if she didn’t obey. The clothes lay at her feet and she knew where relief would be, but she tried to hold herself there. Her whole body started to ache as Jacob continued to level her with a stare. She squeezed her eyes shut as she felt sweat pool on her forehead. Her entire body felt ripe to burst apart and all she wanted was it to stop. She grimaced, held on for a few more seconds and then leaned down quickly, pulling on her jeans and her t-shirt, forgoing the bra.

“Fuuuuuuuuck,” she said frustrated.

“Not gonna lie, that was kind of hot,” Embry said leaning on the doorframe. Jacob’s stare softened and he put his hand on her upper arms.

“His alpha has gotta be like a million times stronger than Sam’s because that fucking hurt,” Grace winced a little and doubled over.

“Yeah, it’s not a fun time,” Embry said pointing to his shoulder. “Anyway, Quil is here.”

“WHAT?!” Jacob and Grace said in unison. Embry laughed and turned to walk back down the porch steps.

“What is he doing here?” Grace said as she strode toward the door.

“Better not be another pack defect, I’m already tired of handing out orders,” he said as he playfully smacked her butt, jogging ahead of her and out the door.

#twilight #twilight fanfiction #twilightfanfic #twilightfanfiction #new moon #eclipse #breaking dawn #edward cullen #bella swan #the pack #the cullens #jacob black #jacobblack #jacobblackxoc #chapter 39 #a monster lives here

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just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi · 4 years ago

Text

Choices - Parker

[i struggled with this one for sure. Started to write it like 4 times and just didn’t like it. I like it now, but I recognize it’s a little boring/is filler to get the story moving along. I’m psyched about the next part so keep an eye out for that!]

CW: angst, hard decisions, being trapped, fear/anxiety. Please let me know if I’m missing anything.

Previous - Masterlist - Next

It had been days in the tunnel, days in the dull lights and recycled air. The tunnels were never meant to be a bunker, never meant to be a campsite or stronghold. There were some supplies, some rations, but not nearly enough.

Parker sat alone, back up against the wall. They just felt numb, absently watching the others pace restlessly. In the end, almost twenty-five people found their way into the tunnels before they were sealed off. Or in.

Twenty-five people, twenty-five humans that were safe. It was such a small percentage, so few of the safe haven’s numbers. They had no communications, no way to contact any of the others. There was no way to know if they had gotten to the main bunker, escaped, or were taken by whoever attacked.

Please have gotten out. Please be getting ready to come back with help. Please, thought Parker as they rubbed the bridge of their nose, pushing their glasses out of the way. They had barely been able to sleep, barely been able to eat.

They hadn’t known the arms that they had fallen into. Even now, they might not have been able to point out the person who comforted them. Even out of this small crowd. Parker adjusted how they were lounging, drawing up a knee to rest their elbow on. They felt awful about that. They wanted to know, they wished they could say thank you. They were embarrassed. Ashamed of how they had clutched onto that person and sobbed into the warm body with not so much as a thank you.

There were some faces they recognized. Not well, but conversationally. Maybe they should have been more social, spent more time with the other, less time holed up in their room. Maybe if they had, they would recognize the other faces lined with worry and fear.

Voices hushed to not cause a panic made their ears prick up.

“We should tell the others. They deserve to know that there’s a-”

“Shh! No, we can’t. It’s far too dangerous. It just puts more people in danger.”

A pause, and then. “I don’t want to die.”

Parker’s head twitched toward the conversation, even as they willed their ears to stop working. Did they want to know? Their stomach churned at the possibility. The two wouldn’t be having such a hushed, clandestine conversation if there wasn’t a chance. Something that could save them. Something that could keep them safe.

Parker wanted to know, and they weren’t the only one that overheard.

“What? What do we deserve to know?” demand another voice. Parker looked up to see a tall, wiry man step forward. The two stopped their conversation immediately, glaring at the man.

“Nothing, Jacques. It’s -”

“There’s an emergency signal,” blurted someone. The group murmured, Parker sitting up straighter. The other figure’s shoulders slumped.

“You lied to us?” asked the tall man - Jacques apparently. The two figures set their jaws in resolve.

“Yes.” The group scoffed, shaking their heads. “But for a reason. All channels are blocked but our emergency signal. It’s too convenient, no way it’s a coincidence. They want us to contact the other bases for some reason, and I don’t trust it.”

“I don’t trust you! You lied to us and said there was nothing we could do, but there is!” Jacques looked behind him to the others now crowded around. They were getting agitated.

“I know, I understand,” one of the figures said, raising their hands in supplication. “I really do, but we can’t. We’re not the only base, and we can’t risk exposing the others like this. It’s a sacrifice that-”

“Wait!” called out someone from the churning mass of people. Parker looked up, vaguely recognizing a woman, Rosalie, as she stepped forward. “Wait, please. We’re all stressed. We’re all afraid. But we need to make these decisions together. As a group.”

Parker let their eyes close as the others talked around them. They felt sick. They were tired. They just wanted to go home, to be safe, like John had promised.

Don’t think about him. Don’t think about him or you won’t be able to think about anything else. He did it to protect you, to make sure that you were safe.

Does that mean I have to do everything in my power to make sure that others are safe? Do I have to follow his example? Or do I do what he tried to, and keep myself safe? Do I have to base my decisions around what he would have wanted?

Can’t I do both somehow?

“Does the signal only contact the other bases?” Parker asked, not yet opening their eyes. There was the slightest lull in the conversation.

“What do you mean?”

“We’re already exposed. They already know where we are,” said Parker, finally looking to the others. “Why bother with trying to keep our location a secret? Send the emergency signal everywhere, to anyone.”

“They won’t be able to track it that way,” mused one of the figures. “It would go to too many places, no way for them to figure out who is who. They can trace it back to here, but there’s no point.” They smiled, looked back to Parker.

“Nice one.”

Parker smiled back tiredly, taking a deep breath. There was a chance.

It had only been a few minutes since they sent the distress call, and there was a sense of hopeful anxiety in the air. Parker had finally been able to eat some of the meager rations and drink some of the water from the canteens. Things were getting a bit better, looking a bit brighter.

Jacques was pacing rapidly, wringing his hands. “What if no one responds? What if no one cares?” he muttered, mostly to himself.

Parker swallowed and looked away. That moment wasn’t something for them to watch. Not their panic to view. They focused on the command screen, watching the light blink as it projected their call for help around.

“-I don’t want to die. I shouldn’t have to die. I didn’t even want to come here, not really. They made me come here and now I’m not safe anymore.”

Parker shifted away, turning their back a little more. Not their place, not for them.

Rosalie was handing out small snack packs and they smiled. Some might view that as a waste of precious resources, but it was so dearly needed. They knew vaguely that Rosalie was a teacher, a caretaker for little kids. They kind of wished that they had been able to grow up here, go to elementary school here. Sure, they might not have been able to go on the field trips to the museums and the farms, but they would have had more memories of this place. When it was good and safe.

“I’m not going to. I don’t have to. I, I, I want to live. I don’t care. I have to live. I have to.”

The sound of nervous footsteps stopped abruptly and Parker’s brow furrowed. They were getting a bad feeling, a bit of intuition that something was off. Something was about to go wrong.

“I’m not gonna die. I won’t. I’m sorry!” screamed Jacques as he bolted towards the door. Parker stood, and another person was after him in a flash, but it was too late. He smacked his palm across the button to open the door and unlocked it.

“Stop!” it felt like the whole room screamed, Parker included. The door disengaged with a hiss. Parker was frozen, stance as if they were about to run but forgot how.

You’ve doomed us all.

@ghostcomit @lave-e @whump-me-all-night-long @rippedjeansandfadeddreams @highwaywhump @panic-and-chaos @mnmlover2002 @thehopelessopus (don’t know why I can’t tag you mnmlover2002)

[pls let me know if you want to get added or removed from the taglist]

#whump #kind of lol #parker #fear tw #trapped tw #hard decisions tw #its...... here lol #ONTO THE NEXT PART

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foryourimaginationonly · 5 years ago

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Finding Love - Part 5

Request: Can you write something that has to do with the Edward’s sister story and this time it’s his turn to find his mate when Bella comes into his life for the first time. She’s happy for Edward but she just hopes Bella won’t hurt him, and of course she’s with Jasper

Requested by: @saracons87

New Vampire Teaser

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

Part Four

It was getting closer to the dance and everyone was really excited about who was going with who. Bella still didn’t have the nerve to ask Edward yet, but you had high hopes.

“I can’t wait for the whole thing.” You gushed with Alice who was as equally as excited as you were. The others couldn’t bother.

I can’t wait to dress up in that new dress I bought.” She said, smiling to herself.

“Which one?” Asked Rosalie nonchalantly. Alice had ordered over a dozen dresses since last week and they had all came in yesterday.

“You’ll just have to wait and see.” She said smiling even wider.

Jasper was minding his business on the sofa as he always did and all you could imagine was him in a tux.

“Are you going with Emmett and Edward?” You asked Jasper. The other two boys were going on a hunting trip and Jasper hadn’t mentioned a word.

“I don’t think so. I was hoping you and I could hunt closer to home tonight. Our own little date night.” He said, winking at me.

“Ooo, how romantic.” Rosalie said laughing. “Nothing like sharing a deer over candlelight.”

Howling laughter came from Emmett from the other room.

“You two belong together, you know that?” You said to her. She winked at you before standing and crossing the room. Jasper took your hand and led you out the door into the woods behind the house. The two of you walked hand in hand, with silent conversation drifting between you. There was no need to talk. Sometimes your emotions told him more than anything and his touch was more than enough to tell you his thoughts.

Finally, feeling a bit hungrier than usual, you both broke into a light sprint before catching the scent and the heartbeat of a nearby deer. A smile spread across your lips as you both stalked it from behind before catching it off guard and devouring it together. A sensation rumbled through you as you both took off to hunt for another.

It wasn’t but a few hours later, when the light of the day had turn to the dark of the night, when the both of you returned. Carlisle was watching the news as he did in the late evenings.

Jasper wanted a quick shower and you decided to wait for him in the living room with Carlisle.

Not a moment later, Carlisle’s phone rang. The conversation was devastating. A man had just been found mauled.

“Alright, I'll be there.” He said, hanging up. Both Rosalie and Esme had joined you in the living room. “It was a local. But this looks suspicious.”

Jasper was beside you in a heartbeat, holding you close to him. “Other vampires?” He asked.

Carlisle shook his head. “I’m not sure.”

Jasper looked worried and you felt it too. This wasn’t right. A local would know better, or so you thought, to go into the woods alone without proper protection.

“I’m going to the station to get the body. I’ll be back later.” Carlisle said as he kissed Esme on the forehead and walked out the door.

It only took a few hours before Emmett came through the front door. A frown appeared on your face.

“You’re back way earlier than I thought.” You said. Rosalie was just as confused.

Alice shook her head. “So, he went after her huh?”

Everyone looked at her. “Edward went to save Bella. Apparently, she can’t seem to stay out of harm's way.”

Rosalie scoffed. “She was already in harm's way the minute Edward met her.”

It wasn’t that much longer when Edward arrived back home. He told us he saw Carlisle and the body.

“It looks like vampires are in the area. Let’s keep an eye out from now on.” Edward said through strained teeth. He looked stressed.

“Go eat.” You said to him and he nodded, taking off out the front door again. It wasn’t until the next morning when he came back. You assumed he was at Bella’s and a quick touch of his arm confirmed it.

Weeks went by and there wasn’t too much coming from the news to make you or anyone else feel less safe, though you still had your precautions. Everyone was in an uproar at least once a night when Bella found out about us. Edward was always angry with Rose and Rose was always angry with you and Edward, only because you backed him up.

“You don’t understand Rose!” You yelled. “Everyone in this house has a mate except for Edward and as soon as he finds her, you have to hate on him for letting her know about us?”

Rose was furious. “SHE IS A HUMAN AND IS HOLDING ONTO THE DARKEST SECRET OUT THERE!”

“Don’t you think I know that?” Edward yelled back. “I can’t leave her and I can’t be with her either. I am damned. DAMNED!” His voice reached an octave that none of us had ever heard before.

You watched as he left the room, looking at Rose pissed off. “You’re the best sister in the world.” You said sarcastically and left the room as well. Jasper had been holding your hand the entire time. Something in you wanted to fight Rose but you couldn’t hurt her. No matter how much you two fought and disagreed, you still loved her.

The fight had started because Edward wanted to bring Bella over that weekend to meet everyone. At this point, you had been dying to meet her and touch her person so you could learn all the things about her.

When the day finally came, Edward warned you to not touch her as he wasn’t sure if she would be comfortable with it. However, the moment she walked through the door, your excitement overtook you and you hugged her, learning everything you could about her in that small span of time.

“Hi Bella, it’s so nice to finally meet you!” You said.

Alice kissed her cheek and smiled, commenting on her smell. This made everyone cringe a little, but leave it to Alice to make it a big deal.

Edward continued on, showing her around and then taking her to his room where he spoke of things that reminded you of the old Edward. Your big brother. The one that made you laugh when you were sad, who held you when you were struggling through the hunger, the person who was your rock through it all. Pride swelled through you as you listened even more, finally happy that he found the one.

“Come, let’s give them some privacy.” Carlisle suggested.

A/N: Wow hi. Been a long time since i wrote for this but i found it fitting since Stephanie Meyer is releasing Midnight Sun in August. (Make sure you preorder!) But i am so happy to finally be getting back into writing. Hope you guys like this! ~~~

Tags: @winchestergirl907 @raindancer2004 @saracons87 @ justdidabadthing

#imagine #imagine if #twilight #twilight imagine #imagine twilight #edward #edward cullen #imagine edward cullen #edward x reader #jasper #jasper hale #jasper whitlock #jasper whitlock hale #major jasper #imagine jasper #imagine jasper hale #jasper x reader

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darkforestimagines · 5 years ago

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You are sick HCs with the Cullen clan

Edward

to say he is stressed is an understatement

he'll need someone to pull him away from you

that being said, he's very attentive

you would think he had Jasper's power by the sorrowful expression he holds when looking at you

he holds you when you have a fever, remembering what it was like to have no reprieve from the heat

constantly on the phone with Carlisle, describing your symptoms

Alice

she's a little smug that you got sick, since she warned you to rest

she does always arrive with whatever you need

tylenol? check.

blankets? check.

cold hand up your back when you least expect it? YIKES

she does need occasional prompting, since she doesn't remember her human life and so tending comes less naturally

"Alice, I can't hold the cup."

"Alice, can you help me sit up?"

"Alice, can you hand me the tissues?"

Jasper

even though your body feels like trash, you're mentally okay

Jasper can't really bare to be close to you to help, but he can keep your mood level from a distance

you at least don't have to wallow with the dread that usually comes along with being sick for so long

Jasper calls you on the phone and tells you stories until you fall asleep

Rosalie

Rosalie has been to med school and she is ready to go

while she would never force you to do anything you don't want, she can be very persuasive when it comes to taking care of you

while as your gf she usually (lovingly) roasts you for your dumb decisions, she is very supportive and gentle with you while you complain about aches or groan in pain

lots and lots of kisses, since she can't catch whatever you have anyway

Emmett

thinks laughter is the best medicine

while your spirit is high, you can't breathe from laughing and coughing

at least these little fits make you tired enough to sleep a few hours

he gets you video games and movies and junk food to pass the time

(you can't eat the junk food without yakking, but his heart is in the right place)

Esme

mom instinct in over drive

occasionally a bit overbearing, but she usually realizes and reels it back in

Carlisle, Rosalie and Edward supplied her with all the drug store remedies, and she has old-fashioned remedies in her arsenal as well

Tylenol and hot tea with honey

rubs your back and hums as you try to sleep

Carlisle

this is not his first rodeo by a long shot, but it's a little more stressful because it's you

he tries his best to be patient, but he's had two hundred years of patients ignoring his recommendations

you're so exhausted, he just has to be firm with you to have you concede

he's also putty in your hands to any request or desire of yours, as long as it doesn't prolong your condition

he cuddles you when you're feverish

he rubs your sore muscles

all the kisses you want

your best request was to have him read to you, it didn't matter so much what, since you were in and out of consciousness

every time you would wake, you would find him by your side, his voice warm and eyes gentle

#twilight saga #twilight headcanons #edward cullen #alice cullen #jasper hale #rosalie hale #emmett cullen #esme cullen #carlisle cullen #cullen clan #guess who is sick lmaooooo

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teamjacobthot · 5 years ago

Text

issa twilight tag game baybee

pick 5-10 characters and write your take on the canon version of them vs. fanon version of them. fanon doesn’t have to be what is generally accepted in the fandom, it can be your own idea of what you think a character is like. then tag the same number of people as characters you pick, if you can.

I was tagged by @leahclearwaterdefensesquad so let’s get into it baybeeee

Jacob

Canon:

Absolutely 1000% adored him and his pure goodness and supportive nature up until Smeyer suddenly wrote him as a violent piece of shit and blamed it on phasing (??????)

And THEN made him a permanent house dog of the Cullens in Breaking Dawn……..

Y’all already know how I feel about all that so I’m not getting into it

But trash

Done dirty only bc Smeyer realized she wrote a likable love interest and had to SQUASH that shit instead of making Edward more likable :|

We been knew

Fanon:

HOWEVER

I’ve actually really, really come to love some of the fanon takes of Jacob on here!!!

I never really had a personal headcanon before the Twilight Renaissance besides “he fixes cars, he gives good hugs, and he’s kinda sad”

This is still true but that man (rn I’m thinking of Jacob as like… a 22 year old) is CRAFTY.

I love the fanon takes where he sells his handmade jewelry on Etsy and starts his own mechanic shop

I love a man who’s good with his hands

In my personal headcanon now, he definitely works to start his own shop or goes to college to become an engineer, has some unresolved feelings about his sisters abandoning him that eventually get resolved with time, enjoys hanging out with Billy and admires him, probably makes jewelry for his friends’ and family’s birthdays

And would make the best dad ever in the future

He’s also super patient and treats his friends like family because his own family is so fragmented

I also imagine that he can’t fucking cook but he still tries.

Btw I reject ALL forms of canon where Jacob and any other members of the pack end up hanging out with the Cullens for eternity bc those pasty mfs ruined their lives and need to MOVE AWAY so the pack can finally get some PEACE

Bella

Canon:

Horny white girl

No friends

Doesn’t cuss

Gets married and has a baby at 18 despite literally being Team Fuck Them Kids

Fanon:

Ngl, I’ve really disconnected with the fandom when it comes to Bella

I do agree that she stays horny

But I do think the fandom sometimes overdoes it in terms of how chaotic she is bc she just… doesn’t give me that kind of vibe. She definitely wasn’t in her right mind in New Moon so that doesn’t count

In fact I find her mentally ill and I really really really want her to get a therapist

I don’t really care for Vampire Bella bc I felt that she lost all the parts of her personality that I really enjoyed

But when it comes to Human Bella, she’s just a chill girl

She’s a Virgo. She was an adult at like, 12

In my personal headcanon, she gets the distance she needs from her mother (I think she has mommy issues tbh) and learns to be an adult not for anybody’s sake but her OWN

She doesn’t necessarily go to college, but she does what she wants

And I genuinely believe she would NOT want a kid before the age of like… 27, if at all

She would live her life at a comfortable place, have lots of sex lmao, and actually make some friends too

Not a lot for friends, just a couple good ones, Jacob included

I’ve always written her/liked seeing her written as humorous but in a super dark way — self-deprecating, sarcastic, DRY, etc.

She definitely cusses a lot bc she finds there’s a LOT to cuss about

She absolutely smokes weed bc do y’all see how stressed she is??? She deserves it!

Let Bella Smoke A Blunt 2020

Leah Thee Clearwater

Canon:

Bitter :(

Mean “for no reason” :((((

Needs to get over it :/

Hilarious

Fanon:

The fanon depictions of Leah are my favorite so far but they do vary A LOT

I don’t really care for Leah x Angela bc while they are two tall queens, EYE frankly think Leah is too good for anybody we’ve met in the saga and needs a fresh start anyway

And staying in boring ass Clallam County for a gf does not sound like the move

I’m personally a fan of the fanon where Leah moves away after all the bullshit with the Cullens, maybe goes to school, gets a good paying job that’s actually meaningful work too, and never has to phase again

I think about Leah’s life before phasing A LOT. In my mind, she was a semi-popular athlete with hella friends and admirers but still strong and opinionated. She protects girls and women and makes sure to hold people accountable when they fuck up

Overall, my headcanon of Leah is just Canon Leah but if the world was less cruel to her.

She’s perfect the way she is and I love her <3

Charlie

Canon:

Disgruntled cop

Drinks beer

Hates Edward

Loves Alice

Fanon:

The general fanon for Charlie is more or less the same as Canon Charlie which is like… fine

But he’s still a cop

So in my personal headcanon, he leaves the police force to do work that actually helps Forks like something within community engagement

Maybe he does volunteer work on the Quileute reservation too

Idk I just want him to be useful and not a cop

Rosalie

Canon:

Cold

Mean

Blonde

Doesn’t like Bella

Fanon:

Ok so even though she’s immortal I really imagine she’d like to be around babies and pregnant women as much as possible

I think she would do amazing as an OBGYN despite her hands being all cold lmao

IMAGINE ROSALIE DELIVERING BABIES!!!! (ASSUMING HER HANDS AREN’T TOO COLD!!!!!!)

If she couldn’t be around pregnant women and babies as much as possible I imagine her having her own mechanic shop (possibly shared with Jacob, if they could tolerate each other)

Imagine her working on cars…… I’m w*t

I could also really imagine her fucking it up in an nonprofit organization as an advocate for survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault

Overall I really appreciate the fanon that she’s soft at times and does more than just fuck lmao

Quil Ateara Thee Fifth

Canon:

Likes girls

Likes cars

Likes to hang with his friends

Fanon:

All of what’s given in canon

But he’s actually HILARIOUS

And maybe a SoundCloud rapper

The fandom doesn’t talk about Quil enough and I want that to change

Embry

Canon:

Has some sense

Pretty chill overall

Fanon:

Same as canon but WE FINALLY LEARN WHO HIS DAD IS

I feel like it’s Sam’s dad but I want confirmation

WHAT IS THE TRUTH

off the top of my head i’m tagging @rosaliehalee @bellas-dumptruck-ass @fucksmeyer @clearwaterss @embrythecall @that-crooked-smile @witchyangela and absolutely anybody who wants to do this!!!

#tag things #this was so fun!!!#mine #tysm for tagging me kate <3

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beetles-and-rock · 5 years ago

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Remembering The Roadhouse Part 3

Hi there! So big angst warning for this chapter. Probably not the most angsty, but you'll understand. Also finally posting from the new blog! This one's a long one so here we go.

--------------------------------------------------

Patti was still yelling at Dewey when he went into his room and slammed the door. For a moment, he thought about hooking up his guitar to his amps and drowning her out completely, but he knew that idea would have him thrown out. He felt a familiar ache in his chest and sting in his eyes as memories of what she said flooded his head.

Dewey was all too aware of luckiness to still be allowed to set foot in this house. The only reason he was able stay now was because Ned had somehow managed to get Patti in a good mood the night of the battle last year, and convinced her to let him stay. Now she seemed to be getting more and more moody as their wedding day grew closer. Though he'd had a streak of standing up to her there was getting to be less and less Ned could do about the way she treated Dewey.

Frustrated and hurt, Dewey shook his head and blinked a few times choosing to growl instead of sob. Since he was constantly walking on egg shells around Patti now, and because she knew how to get to him, he'd lock himself in his room when she got him upset. He'd usually punch the matress a few good times, and either cry quietly or play his guitar softly. He'd written several songs about Patti now. None he could ever show to the kids of course due to their use of profanity and vulgarity.

He lay across the bed, placing a hand on his stomach. The burger he'd had for lunch was no longer sitting very well. He looked over at his phone a long moment trying to decide whether or not he should call Rosalie. After a few minutes though, he sighed deciding not to bother her.

He sat up and grabbed his guitar. He strummed it quietly. Unfortunatey, he still had no idea what he was going to do for Rosalie, so he tried to focus on that.

“I could always take her to the Roadhouse again..." He thought. Still he wasn't sure that was necessarily the most romantic thing to do.

He played a few different chords as he thought. Karaoke night was too simple, and he didn't want her to drag him home drunk after. A movie was too cliche, and not personal enough. They'd be paying attention to the screen and not eachother anyway. As far as going out to eat at a fancy restaurant was concerned, he had a decent enough pay now to do so, but felt he'd stick out like a sore thumb. He knew dressing up wasn't his strong suit, and didn't want to embarrass her.

Back to D. He'd been strumming the same few chords a while, and it sounded pretty decent to him. Then his eyes widened. He played back through the small riff he'd created, and felt excitement welling up inside of him.

A song! A song was the perfect gift for her! He'd write her a song and teach it to the band, so they could help him perform it for her.

Dewey quickly grabbed a peice of paper and started jotting down the notes he'd been playing. He strummed back through the chords once again, and nodded with a smile.

"Perfect!" He whispered. "Now for the lyrics."

A few hours later there was a knock on Dewey's door.

“Who is it?" He asked sounding a little more defeated than he wanted to. The lyric writing wasn't going as smoothly as he'd hoped, and he was now surrounded by balled up pieces of paper.

"It's okay, Dewey. It's me." He heard Ned say from the other side of the door.

Still studying the sheet of paper below him, Dewey quickly decided what he'd written was no good, and he violently tore it from the notebook, balled it up, and threw it across the room.

"Come in...“ He sighed.

The door opened, and Ned stepped in. His eyes widened at the room, and furthermore, Dewey's appearance.

"Woah! Dewey are you okay?" He asked.

"I've had a rough day.“ Dewey replied weakly.

Ned closed the door behind him, and walked over to the bed. "Did Patti upset you again?"

"Yeah..."

"How bad was it this time?"

"She gets worse everytime, man. I know you say she can be sweet, but lately I haven't seen it... Well, actually I've never seen it, but now she's gotten even more harsh on you. Are you sure you want to go through with this?"

Ned scratched the back of his neck. “She's not going to stay that way forever. It's like I keep saying, Dewey. She's just stressed about the wedding."

"She's-" Dewey started harshly, but he sighed and continued softer, "-stressing me out too.“

They both looked down at the crates holding Dewey's mattress up.

"Hey Dewey, why don't you ever move out? Ned asked. Dewey looked up at him seeming pretty offended.

"No! No! I don't mean it like that!“ Ned reassured. "It's just, you've got a steady job now, that pays pretty darn decently, and you've got a girlfriend who wouldn't mind-“

"How do you know that?"

"I might've accidently overheard a conversation. Why do you stick around here where you're constantly unhappy?"

"Oh come on, Ned. You know as well as I do that if I leave, Patti will lock the door, and you and I will never see eachother again."

Ned blinked in shock. "That's why you've been staying?"

"Well yeah. You're the only friend that's stuck by me all these years. I'd be homeless, in jail, or... dead if you hadn't offered to let me stay with you when my parents kicked me out."

Ned looked at him even more shocked. "Dewey, are you feeiling okay?"

"I... don't know.“ Dewey responded.

"You don't normally talk about this stuff. I mean, I'm not saying you shouldn't, I'm just surprised that you are."

Dewey didn't respond, he just continued staring at the crates at the end of his bed. Ned looked around at the balled up sheets of paper.

"So what's all this?" He asked.

Dewey hummed looking up. "Oh, I was... uh... writing something for Rosalie."

"Not going well?“

"Nope! Well the chords are fine, but everything I write is garbage."

"Oh come on Dewey, you're probably doing fine."

"Everything I've been writing since. I've been in here is the same stuff that's already been said in a million other songs, and the lyrics aren't half as good."

“You're thinking about it too hard. you want this song to be personal to her right?“

"Yeah."

"Then write it about her. Drop the clichés, and write about who she is, and how she makes you feel."

Dewey's eyes widened a little bit as the creative cogs of his brain sparked back to life.

“Ned, that's it you're a genius! I'm not writing a song for her! I'm writing a song about her, for her!"

The door opened suddenly.

"Ned are you-“ Patti stepped in and froze at the sight of the mess in the bedroom.

"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED IN HERE!?"

Dewey's fingers tightened around the neck of his guitar. He knew he wasn't going to be able to take this, not now.

"OH MY GOD! YOU JUST CAN'T GO ANYWHERE WITHOUT BEING A DISGUSTING SLOB, CAN YOU?" Patti scolded.

Dewey turned his entire body away from her.

"WHAT GOING TO HAPPEN WHEN ROSALIE FINDS OUT HOW YOU LIVE?"

His chest began to ache, and his eyes were beginning to sting a little.

"YOU KEEP TRASHING EVERYTHING IN SIGHT, NO ONE IS GOING TO LET YOU LIVE WITH THEM!"

"Patti...“ Ned tried to cut in.

Burning tears welled in Dewey's eyes.

"YOU MAY BE ON YOUR BEST BEHAVIOUR NOW, DEWEY, BUT WHAT HAPPENS WHEN SHE WALKS IN ONE DAY TO SEE THIS!?“

"Patti!" Ned got up from the bed.

"YOU'RE GOOD BEHAVIOUR IS JUST AN ACT, AND THOSE FAILED DIETS SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST BIG SIGNAL YOU HAVEN'T ACTUALLY CHANGED! I HOPE SHE CATCHES ONTO THE NEXT FEW BEFORE SHE'S STUCK WITH YOU!“

"Patti, come on. Let's go." Ned ushered her out of the room and shut the door.

Dewey's vision was blurred. For a moment, he did nothing, just sat there and let his tears boil. Then he lay on his bed and sobbed into his pillow. He couldn't take it anymore he needed to hear Rosalie's voice. He picked up his phone and dialed her number.

He tried to calm himself down enough to talk normally without a hint that he'd been crying while the phone rang. His stomach churned on the third or fourth ring, threatening to regurgitate his lunch. Finally she answered.

"Hello?“

"Rolsalie...“ Dewey's voice fell apart as he said her name.

"Dewey? Are you okay?“ She asked sounding very concerned. It usually wasn't like him to actually call when Patti upset him, and he certainly didn't cry. Yet here he was on the phone with his girlfriend and clearly in tears.

"I've just had a really rough day..." Dewey managed.

"Did Patti upset you?"

"Y-yeah..." He hated how high pitched his voice came out.

"Do you need to come here tonight? I can come get you if you don't feel like driving."

It was a very tempting offer. He'd have given anything to be wrapped in her arms, and crying into her shoulder, even if it wasn't the manliest look. Still he didn't want to chance facing Patti again tonight, or to expose Rosalie to that unpleasantness.

"No, it's pretty late already. You shouldn't have to drive all this way for me. I'll be okay, I'll just stay in my room." He responded.

"Are you sure?"

He didn't want to stop hearing her voice, but he knew there was no leaving the house without running into Patti. He knew Rosalie would readily defend him against her, or... maybe not. If Rosalie came over, and saw the mess... maybe Patti was right. Besides Rosalie was busy, and he was already taking one night out of her schedule.

He quickly dried up his tears and cleared his throat.

"Yes, I'm sure." He responded in as clear a voice as he could.

"Do you just want to talk about it? You know I'll listen."

"She just caught me at a bad time again... that's all."

"What did she say?“

"Don't worry about it." He could hear the phone shift to a new position, probably the in way she'd hold it when she became very serious about something.

"Well, I am worried about it, Dewey. The way you sounded when I answered the phone has me very worried." She told him.

A small smile spread across his face. He knew he didn't deserve her, and that she had every right to hate him, and have him arrested. Still for some reason beyond his understanding, she loved him, and genuinely cared about him. The thought comforted him for a moment. The smile faded as he thought again of what Patti said. He sighed.

"It's like I said, she caught me at a bad moment, and reminded me of every thing that was wrong with me. Same as she always does.“

Rosalie's voice came warm and gently. "Dewey, there is nothing wrong with you."

"There used to be..."

"Dewey, you may have had you're selfish and extremely impulsive tendencies in that past, but that was the past. You changed the lives of those kids, Dewey. You changed my life. No it didn't start out as the best of intentions, but everything turned out alright. And you want to know something?“

Dewey felt himself on the verge of tears again, he fought to keep his voice from shaking. "What's that?“

"Part of you was already empathetic towards those children, the moment you heard their struggles. That means the good parts of you have always been there, Dewey."

Tears rolled down his cheeks. "Th-those kids changed my life, and then you saved it." He told her.

#dewey finn #alex brightman #school of rock broadway #school of rock #dewey x rosalie #broadway musicals #school of rock bway

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rcguereveries · 4 years ago

Note

📂📂

Send “📂“ for a random yet completely useless headcanon I have

FIONA

When Fiona was younger, her mother always stressed the importance of her appearance. Having been the Prom Queen and Head Cheerleader in her own high school days, Fiona’s mother strived to have her daughter accomplish the same thing, but the blonde really didn’t care about that kind of stuff. She was much more abrasive than either of her parents cared for and after years of being told that she needed to talk less and smile more (in more words than that, but that was the basic gist) she signed on for Pre-Law and eventually Law school to prove that she should always talk more and smile less.

ROSALIE

As a preteen in middle school, friends of Rosalie were constantly asking her to write notes for them to their crushes. The silly little notes that the brunette wrote for her fellow classmates slowly turned into a passion of hers. Her scribbles became less for other people and more for her flow of creativity until one day she had actually written a song... and what she believed to be a good one at that. It wasn’t until then that she began begging her mother for piano or guitar lessons- some kind of instrument to get a tune to go with her lyrics was what she wanted and eventually, that was what she got in her piano lessons.

#headcanons #goxinsane #**got a secret can you keep it( fiona )#**melodious songs in your heart( rosalie )

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therealvinelle · 4 years ago

Note

do you think carlisle wanted to be a dad or was dadhood thrust upon him

The latter.

He never shows any particular longing for children. When Rosalie speaks of her childlessness, she brings up Esme as one who wanted kids and is making do with the Cullens, not Esme and Carlisle. Carlisle doesn’t go full Father the way Esme does Mother, either, the parent-child dynamic that we see between Billy and Jacob or Charlie and Bella isn’t there. He treats his children like cherished and respected adults who sometimes need guidance, not quite kids. (More on this below.)

He doesn’t seem particularly drawn to kids, either, he lived in Volterra for decades yet his relationship with Alec and Jane is nonexistent, and whenever he meets up with Siobhan and Maggie (Maggie being 15) it’s Siobhan he focuses on.

Plus, and I know no one will be with me on this, but he just doesn’t have the vibe.

To backtrack a bit, how did Carlisle become the father figure in the Cullen family in the first place?

He never set out to become Edward’s father. He turned Edward because he’d grown attached to Elizabeth Masen, and she asked him to turn her son. After that, Carlisle looked at Edward as a potential vampire, and saw all the things Edward could be - a friend, a brother, or a son. He was willing to be a father, but brother or partner would have worked just fine by him as well. Edward got to choose which it would be, or rather Edward decided upon waking up: he took one look at Carlisle and said “yup, that’s my Heavenly Father”.

Then we have Rosalie, she could have been his sister, niece-but-not-daughter-figure, or friend-of-the-family-who’s-part-of-the-coven. Point being, she didn’t have to become his daughter, and yet she did. I can only assume that, like Edward, she chose it. As she found her place in the family, sister and daughter was what felt right for Rosalie in relation to Edward, Carlisle, and Esme.

Then Emmett entered the family, he was Rosalie’s husband, so son to Carlisle and Esme and brother to Edward it is. Alice and Jasper arrive, alright, guess we’re playing house! The coven leader and his mate are mother and father now.

Now, I don’t think the Cullens are secretly not a family, that the whole thing is a front brought on by contrivances. They make it clear again and again that they see each other as family, and they prove several times they’ll go to bat for Edward. And since this is a post about Carlisle I’ll stress that he even refers to newcomer Bella as being like a daughter to him.

The coven has its dysfunctions, yes, anyone who follows my blog knows that I think it’ll break up sooner or later, but that doesn’t delegitimize what they do have.

I think Carlisle is the father figure because that’s what the Cullens need him to be.

Edward was orphaned and alone in a brave new world, and immediately latched on to Carlisle. This isn’t the post to get into their relationship, suffice to say that he needs Carlisle to be his father and would not cope well with Carlisle saying “Fatherhood, huh, woof. Yeahh about that, kid...”

Of course, Carlisle thought of him as a potential son before turning him, but all the same this turned out to be what Edward needed.

Rosalie and Carlisle's relationship is also best reserved for a post of its own, but in a nutshell her parents were social climbers who viewed her beauty as their ticket up the social ladder:

“It was my mother’s job to keep our house — and myself and my two younger brothers — in spotless order. It was clear that I was both her first priority and her favorite. I didn’t fully understand at the time, but I was always vaguely aware that my parents weren’t satisfied with what they had, even if it was so much more than most. They wanted more. They had social aspirations — social climbers, I suppose you could call them. My beauty was like a gift to them. They saw so much more potential in it than I did.

(...)

[I was] happy that my mother was proud of me and that my father liked to buy me pretty dresses. (Eclipse, page 90)

Enter then Carlisle Cullen, who has no interest in her beauty, no ambition on her behalf. He gave her this life she never wanted, yes, but in doing so he also saw something in Rosalie Hale that was worth it all, that he wanted to keep around for eternity.

Rosalie was very happy with her life, but even when reminiscing about how amazing it all was she is able to recognize that her parents loved her beauty, not so much Rosalie herself. Did she want that affection, of course, what child wouldn’t. But, I find the fact that she let Carlisle become her father telling.

I think he’s the father she wished Mr. Hale had been.

Alice is... complicated, but a big part of what she gets from being with the Cullens, from the high school routine and all the clothes, is personhood. She’s an inhuman entity with no memory of being human, and her visions make her even less connected to the physical world than other vampires are. How do you carve out a sense of self around that?

To her, performative humanity as a Cullen is just that, it’s her getting to be a person.

In that regard, having Carlisle around as a person to relate to, a father figure to give Alice Cullen the person substance, is precious.

Jasper doesn’t need a father, but he is in need of guidance and a confidante. Carlisle is implied to be this to him in Midnight Sun, when Jasper needs to be talked down from doing something rash and Alice’s response is to put him in Carlisle’s office and wait for Carlisle to come home and talk sense into him. Carlisle just smiles wryly and trots up the stairs to do what is apparently the not unheard of Jasper wrangling. I can see why the father/son thing comes naturally to them.

I think Renesmée to an extent will also fall under the umbrella of Cullens who act like baby birds around Carlisle, as explained in this post.

Emmett and Bella have no such void being filled by Carlisle. Do they see each other as family, sure, Emmett especially considering how many years they’ve been together.

(Also, yes I’m aware I didn’t include Esme’s relationship with the kids in this post, that’s not to dismiss her but because anon didn’t ask.)

#long post #for the baby birds link i was going to link this specific panel from a don rosa story but couldn't find it #it PERFECTLY encapsulates the edward-carlisle dynamic but really goes for all cullens #basically a baby crocodile hatches #spots scrooge. imprints. scrooge is a mother now #for the remainder of the story the baby crocodile is seen in the background gazing lovingly at scrooge #who has accepted that this is his life now #so he just carries it around. as you do. and the crocodile is so happy #if that's not carlisle with edward i don't know what is #to my infinite grief this crocodile was never mentioned again #queue are my own personal brand of heroin #carlisle cullen #the cullens #rosalie hale #edward cullen #emmett cullen #jasper hale #alice cullen #renesmée cullen #bella swan #twilight #twilight meta #twilight renaissance

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