#roran post shit

[certifiedsimper]

Yall know when you have those dreams that you like leave someone behind and you like cry? Yeah that was me last night

[certifiedsimper]

@mama-sunni here bitch *says lovingly*

FNAF + Welcome Home are my special interests

[alagaesia-headcanons]

A few times I've expressed how I feel like the later parts of the series really screw over Orrin and treat his character poorly. And I've seen some other people say similar things. But for a long while know, I've been conflicted about how exactly the books disservices him. Because, since writing this character analysis of him, I found that I don't disagree with the actual things he says and does. Like I mentioned there, I think the way his composure crumbles and how he becomes more aggressive and unreasonable makes a lot of sense in the context of what he's going through. He's lost everyone and he turns to drinking as anger and fear eat away at him. I think it works as a character arc, albeit a very sad one. And yet, I still get the feeling of the books doing wrong by Orrin and I've been trying to wrap my mind around why.

I was rereading the scene where Orrin wants to send an envoy to Uru'baen and Roran demands that he doesn't. Initially, I felt like this was one of the few moments where it does feel out of character for him, simply for the story to paint him in an exaggeratedly bad light. But I tried to reason out in what way it maybe could be in character (because I live for that). And it clicked into place. Orrin says it right there! "'But they can see us,' protested Orrin. 'We're camped right outside their walls. It would be... rude not to send an envoy to state our position. You are both commoners; I would not expect you to understand. Royalty demands certain courtesies, even if we are at war.'"

The issue at hand here is that Roran is arguing that sending an envoy to Galbatorix might provoke him to attack them. What Orrin is saying is that, as opposed to Roran and Jormundur, he knows what a king would expect to deal with when under attack, which includes envoys. If it would be perceived as rude and disrespectful to not send one, that insult could just as well be provoke Galbatorix into attacking. It makes perfect sense that, if Orrin sees this as a courtesy a king would feel entitled to, he believes it would be dangerous to risk slighting Galbatorix by failing to do it. Roran tells him, "'I won't let you endanger the rest of us just to satisfy your royal... pride.'" But it seems infinitely more likely that Orrin is attempting to satisfy Galbatorix's royal pride. I do think that not sending an envoy is a bit more sensible because, as Roran says, Galbatorix was born a commoner and likely has his own expectations (though what he goes on to say has flaws), but Orrin is still raising a very fair point by arguing that they should send one. And honestly, given what we see of Galbatorix, I don't think there was any danger of an envoy provoking him either.

But the more important thing about that realization that struck me is that I read that section at least 6 times before it occurred to me. I read it over and over while thinking "Orrin's argument doesn't make any sense, I don't know why he's saying this" before realizing it actually makes perfect sense. And it's because I believe that the true way that the series disservices Orrin's character is through the bias of the other characters and their narrations. This exchange is written in Roran's POV and it's riddled with his derision towards Orrin, his insistence that he's wrong, that he'll get them killed, and his overall very low opinion of him which colors how he sees all of Orrin's acts. And Jormundur shares his distaste and expresses his own.

Out of curiosity, I cut everything but the dialogue (sans 2 irrelevant lines) to see how it would read. It's very different; it shows how Orrin is reasonable at the start and how unwarranted Roran's combative and brazenly insulting response is. It really changes this scene from "Roran heroically saving everyone from the fallout of Orrin's stupid, careless choice," and reveals that it's just an argument- unhelpful and devolving where they both end up making inappropriate mistakes, one after the other.

Of course, there are real issues with Orrin's actions, in this case namely that his very wound up fear and frustration make him intensely volatile, enough that he tries to attack Roran here. That is egregious. But then that's compounded upon by all these other "flaws" perceived by the other characters in such an exaggerated way to the point of being fabricated. Roran sees him as dangerously stupid and vainglorious for wanting to send an envoy, despite putting absolutely no effort into learning his reason. It's just real rich that Roran then thinks, "Orrin was like a yearling mule: stubborn, overconfident, and all too willing to kick you in the gut if you gave him the opportunity." Lmao! Bitch look in the mirror, that's literally you!!!

This kind of depiction epitomizes Orrin's presence through the entire series. Every single POV characters has reason to be against him, starting with Nasuada. As a result of both of their respective positions, she sees him as a potential threat and obstacle to her goals. Through his connection to her, Eragon sees him the same way and Saphira follows suit. And Roran adopts the opinion of his cousin and his commander. So all of the POV characters are adverse to Orrin, but also, so is every single background character.

There is no one to offer or even contemplate a differing opinion in the face of the main characters' unilateral distaste. Once, literally once do we see Orrin talking to another Surdan. He gets a single line in the scene where Nasuada is appointed leader of their combined forces. Never again. We never see him interact with anyone not predisposed against him. None of his advisors, his soldiers, his friends. Every moment of Orrin's life involving the people who'd have a basis to get along with, or even like him go unseen by the entire story. And on the other side, that also means we never get to see how Orrin would interact with anyone without an incentive to work against him. So the narrative's bias against Orrin goes completely uninterrupted and unchallenged. It shows itself virtually every time he's present.

That is why the series feels so unfair towards Orrin, because in order to understand his actual intentions, it demands that the reader consider a perspective that the story refuses to ever provide. It requires ignoring perspectives that narrate everything and then giving a great deal of focus to Orrin's actions in isolation. It sets him up to be misunderstood and disliked because the easiest way to read his story is to follow along with the misunderstanding and dislike all the other characters express. The books actively obscure the true nature of Orrin's character.

[uluthrek]

inheritance cycle modern au in which all of the dragons are horses which makes eragon the underdog horse girl, saphira the underdog girl horse and brom the disgruntled and disillusioned horse trainer who doesn’t believe in the validity of this sport until he sees the ✨bond✨ eragon has with his horse saphira who is still as blue as she is in canon (don’t ask that‘s just how it works, if you question this, i‘ll track your ip).

and galbatorix is the aggressively eastern european horse girl dad who had some sort of hip injury that brought his eventing career to an abrupt end and now he must vicariously live through his protégé, murtagh, lest he kills himself. and thorn is the very expensive horse galbatorix bought for wish fulfillment purposes and murtagh and thorn are so horribly traumatized by all the stress and pressure of defeating little kids at the pony finals that they ✨bond✨.

oromis and glaedr are their direct opponents and galbatorix nancy kerrigan‘s them (oromis dies like he does canonically because honestly, hunters be like that) so murtagh can get his ribbon. and then there‘s the big final competition and eragon, underdog wonder magic horse girl, goes toe to toe with murtagh, tortured champion to be, and they have this epic horse battle (an 80cm clear round but the atmosphere is very intense) and eragon loses. but then brom delivers this epic speech about idk man like success and passion and whatnot and then he dies which gives eragon the final push to defeat murtagh but OH NO, thorn is HURT from being OVERWORKED and murtagh has an epic horse peril breakdown and tearfully tells galbatorix he‘ll withdraw.

so galbatorix goes „fuck the kid“ and gets shruikan (the very bad very big black warmblood stallion that shows up in every horse girl movie) to best eragon HIMSELF (but not before locking nasuada, the animal rights activist that murtagh has struck up a tentative romance with, in a porta-potty). and then him and eragon compete and it‘s INTENSE (meanwhile, roran and katrina have a sub plot about capturing a flock of runaway ducks that is constantly being cut to during that climactic scene) and shit is looking DISMAL for poor eragon until a vision of brom and also his dead mother, because this is a proper horse girl movie and not some bibi und tina bullshit, and that gives him the strength to defeat galbatorix.

and then he wins and thorn doesn’t die and someone frees nasuada from the porta-potty and she gets to punch galbatorix in the face. and fírnen (who is a horse but also still green) emerges during the post credit scene and meets arya and sets up a cash grabby amazon prime spinoff series and roran and katrina successfully capture the ducks and everyone is happy and there is no more horse peril.

the whole thing takes place in exactly one horse show afternoon. it makes such perfect sense actually you can fit everyone in. nar garzvog‘s at the grill and makes hot dogs. islanzadi does nothing but drink cheap wine and bitch from the sidelines. angela mans the beverage stall and tells everyone who wants to listen (or doesn’t) that toads don’t exist. solembum is the raccoon on her shoulder who violates all fda guidelines by simply existing. orrin is nasuada‘s bitter ex boyfriend who pretended to be vegan for years so she‘d like him only to be dumped for murtagh and his emo swagger in a heartbeat. orik is a shetland pony.

[modern-inheritance]

MIC Shorts and Snippets

I've tried to organize these but I may have gone overboard. There's probably a lot more of these floating around but I can't find them all due to Tumblr's shit search feature. That's why we're getting this page. I'm terrible at updating these things but I'll try!

For A Future Story

Their Hatchlings (#1)

Dance Lessons (#2)

Let It Out (#3)

Unfortunate Encounter (#4)

Snippy Attitudes Run in the Family (#5)

Some Credit Pre Established Relationship ExA (#6)

Well Met (#7)

Pre-War/Pre-Eragon

Kill

Workaround

At Ease

Gil'ead Time Period

Loooooom (mostly a bit of fun)

An Attempt (Will possibly be expanded later)

The Escape Series (most of these are likely going to appear in the actual stories when I finally sit down and write them)

A Choice of Words

That Doesn't Seem Physically Possible

Lake

Earned

You Did Good, Girl

Eragon Post-Escape

Understanding

Elf Operating License Revoked (not really canon, just some fun)

Racketball

Eldest

Shotglass

When the Sun's Gone Out

A Word from the Worldly

Bud Like You (semi-canon)

Spittake

Bad Reaction

Shared (post Arya and Iz Reconciliation)

Brisingr

Dark Humor

A Simple Matter of Luck

Inheritance/The Extended War MIC Timeline

Hand-to-Hand

When You're Not Fine

Cracked Armor

Experimental

Piece By Piece

Batshit On The Battlefield

Vinr Älfakyn (OMG Roran's debut!)

[sparklepirate]

So to those of you that know me you know these are very Exciting Times regarding a certain beloved book series of mine

But uh, for those who don't, the Inheritance Cycle looks like it's getting a new entry very soon starring (my dearly beloved) Murtagh and Thorn, and while that isn't 100% confirmed yet, and won't be until likely Wednesday, it's, like... 99% confirmed. And I am jumping out of my skin.

I used to blog about my reading back in the day when I was reading Harry Potter (ew) but I think I'm gonna bring that back because it was fun. I'm rereading the Inheritance Cycle to jog my memory and I'm having a lot of fun and I have some Opinions™️ so I'm just gonna start posting shit. I really should have started this sooner because I'm already like 2/3 of the way through Eldest but eh oh well.

And I'd like to kick this off by saying dude Birgit kicks fuckin' ass. She is a character I completely forgot about but I kind of love her?? She's definitely my favorite member of Roran's Carvahall entourage.

[inheritance-cycles]

The Inheritance squad, planning their Final Battle Strategy:

Islanzadi: You said you had a plan, Shadeslayer?

Eragon: Yes, your majesty. I actually have a couple. The first one would require, essentially, a magical Elf Chandelier where-

Arya: -NOPE!

Eragon: You didn’t even let me finish!

Nasuada: ...That may be, but I agree with Arya. We’ve already heard enough. Why don’t you tell us about your second plan?

Eragon, grumbling: FINE. My second idea, as long as Elva agrees to it, is to throw her at Galbatorix so she can talk some emotions into him... Namely empathy and compassion. I call this one: “Plan Yeet Elva.”

Orik: A very self-explanatory name, that.

Roran, trying not to laugh but failing: Y-you said you have prepared a couple possible strategies right? If you have any more I think it best to lay them all on the table now, so we can make the decision well-informed.

Eragon: Right. My last idea is admittedly a little shaky, but I think it could still have potential. I call it: “The Father Zone.” You send me in alone, and I look The king straight in the eye and tell him, sincerely, mind you, that he’s “just like a father to me.” Then we let nature take its course. He should be dead within 3-5 business days.

Arya: ...

Orin: ...

Roran: ...

Orik: ...

Saphira: ...

Nasuada: ...

Islanzadi: ...

Blodhgarm: ...

Arya, pinching the bridge of her nose: The fucking Magical Elf Chandelier it is, then.

[ace-and-ranty]

Yeah, in hindsight I was a bit too young to be reading those books, but at the time i preferred the ya section at my local library to the books at my elementary school. i picked eragon because it was long enough to take me multiple days to read and dragons sounded cool to me. i still have some of my fifth grade book reports where i drew maps for when roran was traveling, or when i had to explain what the ra’zac were. the more gruesome stuff was more exciting to me than scary (the gone series scarred me much worse in middle school).

but yeah i loved those books, i just felt like the ending wasn’t really an ending. i felt no closure and i was mad that eragon was leaving everyone (especially arya!) behind. i searched all over for any sign that there would be a sequel series because i felt it was unfair to end it that way. but maybe a reread would do me some good now that i’m an adult ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Well, if you do decide to do a reread, you could try The Fork, The Witch and the Worm!

(Every time I type this, I try to type “The Fork, The Witch and the Wardrobe”, LOL)

It’s not a sequel, per se, but it does catch us up a bit on Eragon post-series. If you wanna just check that out, you can probably only read the Eragon scenes at, like, the bookstore. It’s not long at all.

I, personally, was heartbroken at the Eragon Leaves plot, but heartbroken in a good “Oh it’s so tragic, oh, my heart!!!” way and not “The fuck shit writing is this”. Specially because it was foreshadowed to like, hell and back, haha

I liked everything else. Probably because it avoided the thing that I hate The Most in endings, which is when the main tension of the story is solved and suddenly it all ends with barely any time for us to enjoy the world post-tension.

Like, if they had killed Galbatorix, and it ended a chapter later, I would have been disappointed. But instead we got a load of chapters tying up smaller looser ends, exploring an Alagaesia post-Galbatorix, and saying goodbye to our loved ones as Eragon also said goodbye. 

Also, this is just personal headcanon, but you can’t convince me there won’t be a time when Arya gets to abdicate and fuck off to be a rider in the new HQ. They’re immortal. It’s Gonna Happen. 

[silverskye13]

So I heard the bridge scene was suppose to go so much worse than it did. But you had to cut some action out because he couldn’t really survive that. Mind telling us some terror you were ready to dump on us?

I’ve gotten an ask sorta like this twice already for the prompts so I was gonna hold off on saying anything, but since I’ve gotten three asks I’ll go ahead and tell ya’ll.

//loud shrugging// might as well. Info under the cut, in case anyone doesn’t wanna see it yet!

During the bridge scene, Thistle was originally going to have archery-based magic. And the idea was she was going to actually hit him so hard he fell off the bridge. I actually drew a thing about it once.

[the original link to the post here since Tumblr won’t let me hyperlink the image]

Hhhhh hello 2016 art. God this story has been going on forever. Anyway. I have like… a soft spot for characters being injured with arrows for some reason. Probably because they kinda have a way of bringing invincible characters down, either through inconvenience or magic or… whatever.

[That one scene in Inheritance where Roran get’s shot and it’s like the first time the readers go “oh shit he’s a badass that’s not supposed to happen!” anyone?]

And I really really liked the idea for this scene that Thistle couldn’t beat Grillby by facing him head on so the next best solution is throwing him off the bridge somehow. But at the end of the day I couldn’t figure out how the heckle Grillby would survive so I just cut it out entirely. Thistle was OP enough as it was without a bunch of magic arrows in her arsenal, and her character ended up being prideful enough that she wouldn’t want to cheap shot an elemental. She wants to be able to take this story back and brag about how fucking cool she is.

So meh. I still plan on writing out a prompt for it. But now you know the gist.

[certifiedsimper]

Im bored so here's an opinion from a movie that has a small fan base on here

SO In The Black Phone we know the main people everyone talk about more as in being Vance, Robin, Finney, Bruce in that order too! but the only time I really see anything for Bruce is when he's being shipped. This is an appreciation post for Billy Showalter, Griffin Stagg, Bruce Yamada and Gwendolyn Blake. The legends of underrated characters

[odrseasonone]

The Fates of My Characters

so, for many of them, i hadn’t made up my mind precisely what would happen to my characters, but for some i have.  i think it’s always a good idea to keep these sorts of things in mind when writing (and ofc just bc something worked for the rp doesn’t necessarily mean it’ll work for a series obv but yeaH) so just as a refresher, here’s what i was thinking!!  my more recent characters...idk...but w my older characters, i generally have ~some idea but yeah obv all of this can be changed!! really only cassius, charles, and avelina MUST die bc even dezod could just be locked in some ~chamber of eternal torment~ or whatever if it turns out that’s what works best.  im going to put them in two categories - decided and undecided - but really that just means ~general idea~ vs ~100% open~

DECIDED

vincent alainon

dies probs bc of dmitrei given his general trajectory lbr hahaha but idk

not before we get some sort of climax over his whole situation tho but whether or not that’s wrapped up happily idk

cordelia arrington

learns the truth! has a terrible fight w her bro! probs never sees him again and then feels super guilty when he’s gone *waves flag*

def eventually fights against rowena tho!!

her claim is def also always hanging over her - in both good and bad ways and both as pawn and stateswoman at different times

may or may not rule/be proclaimed queen asp

cris barret

should’ve been a dragonrider but his wife died on their wedding day so he wouldn’t be bc his bro betrayed them all #yay

has lots of fun depressing adventures

probs dies at the end and is reunited w ana in death but not before lots of suffering and angst transpires *another sarcastic yay*

*broods*

but yeah not 100% decided on this either but i caN see him falling to his death from a dragon or something gratuitous like that lajsdf

avelina beaumont

dies but close to the end, having (whether literally or figuratively) lost all her daughters and everything she holds dear...

except that one thing which is dearer to her than all others: her ability to hate alex - that she will always have ;D

evie beaumont

dies, most likely (indirectly) bc of her mother and/or her claim

most likely either falls to her death or is burned at the stake bc im mean af

but not before discovering her courage and gumption and doing her utmost to help aragoth!! 

(how effective she is on a more than personal level idk but props for effort!)

i’d also like her to go on some sort of adventure incognito a la [ this post ] possibly while traveling to the south or smth

esp given how that same journey went for celia ;D

but whether or not her compatriots know who she actually is - or even that she’s not a man - or are trying to help her idk

either way hijinks and hilarity and adventures ensue and she gets to be brave and go places and see and do things <3

i actually have a whole bunch of conflicting ideas about this journey so ladjflkjdskf

may or may not end up marrying anyone after all but deF gets offered around as we already know hahaha

cedric boleyn

i was gonna kill him but then lauren wanted kate to strike a deal w dezod to resurrect him

probs dies saving someone or something heroic and tragic like that

which im cool w but if he returns, he doesn’t come back the same...

probs comes back w a mission to kill roran bc dezod isn’t a faN

then he has to be killed all over again probs so thaT’S fun too

jesper dalmas

100% dead man walking tbh

but won’t conveniently die until he’s caused lots of trouble and accidentally forced lynessa and avelina to go north etc

esp bc they can’t really kill him now bc they killed jon and they can’t have bodies piling up...

charles degrey

100% dies heroically - possibly by cassius’ hand, possibly in some way defending roran or something

dezód destriksyon

obv he dies at the end bc we know roran is his undoing (but whether or not roran is the one to kill him idk?)

but not before something climactic goes down between him and rowena and safira and ric!!

whether separately or all at once idk

cassius montagu

100% dies may or may not pull a vader and kill rowena and/or show someone else how to first tho - rhaegar also dies

may or may not somewhat redeem himself towards the end

lucian moran

dies - its just a question of hoW

possibly killed as an offering to the demon god so that’s fuN

loys mortain

cries ;D

no but i feel like he probs lives and gets to be reunited in the end w his one true love - keys <3

but his death may or may not be faked or whatever idk

also never consummates his marriage w celia but he doES (and don’t let any children read this!) hold her hand at least once!

racy stuff

rochilda thaon

dies - possibly killed as a sacrifice to the demon god, possibly by rowena or dezod or something?????

osmund urry

dies but is cool w it

i mean, he’s not suicidal, he’s just... ‘its my time’ or whatever its more bittersweet than tragic

jon valles

stabbed to death at his own wedding - it’s the best day in aragothi history

adela vipont

is forced to actually look the world in the eye asp but mostly she’s just ridiculous smdh <3

probs has to ultimately make a decision that forces her out of her comfort zone to do the right thing™

normand vipont

dies just a question of how and when

probs has some sort of entanglement w the pirates asp bc of the seafaring thing and we need a naval battle ;D

may or may not ever make any headway in his goals????

emylyna vipont

probs dies but not before somewhat redeeming herself hopefully???

UNDECIDED

edmund browne

probs ends up somehow embarking on a quest/emotional journey for which he is 100% unprepared tbqh

ivette bryant

becomes a dragonrider w a green dragon <3

does her utmost to help others gain freedom as she has done - wether literally or figuratively

her ultimate fate tho is a mystery - who knows maybe shE falls from her dragon instead of cris maybe she lives idk

lena castillon

will probs finally get to travel!!!

beyond that idk

dominick fletcher

idk but i do know that nothing good is on its way ;D

roderick fray

a hot mess, fucks around, makes things worse, eventually grows into something more hopefully

possibly dies?????

james garin

is a lil shit first, last, and always ;D

no but idk what happens to him exactly in the end hahaha

comes back to the south 

tries to become a better man!!!

tristan lanquetot

rides off into the sunset w ophelia probs to heal but idk might die to expunge all those murders #yikes

roseline l’archer

brigitte mortain

honestly probs dies doing something stupid but whether that’s before or after the story ends idk ;D

may or may not marry

if she does marry rob, she 100% runs away/tries to run away and/or tries to poison him #facepalm

radulfus osmunt

isabella quincy

can see her burning, can see her saving someone, can see her redeeming herself (those not mutually exclusive obv)

can also see her living??????? idk

andrya rience

most likely gets some kind of comeuppance/punishment but probs lives??????

lysander stafford

eventually gets his - both literal and figurative - story straight but from there idk

warin thorel

100% makes armor and/or swords or something for the new dragonriders

100% does something dramatic w those arms before them probs

beyond that tho idk?????

aymon vaux

is a dumbass till the end but idk when that’ll be - whether during the storyline of odr or later hahaha

remon vipont

undecided but im leaning towards death tbh

deF strives v much, has a whole lot of angst about his child if/when he learns of her true paternity, etc

joffrey vymont

travels all over the place!! makes tons of mistakes!!

gresilda wystan

[woahtheinheritancecycle]

Read in Karkat's voice for 98% increase of amusement

I'M PRETTY SURE I'VE JUST READ THE WORST FANFICTION EVER GODDAMN IT THIS IS WHY I STOPPED READING FANFICTION THE FIRST PLACE LIKE I COULD GO ON FOR HOURS ABOUT EVERYTHING WRONG WITH IT ARYA CAN ONLY BE TRULY HAPPY IF SHE'S FUCKING A MAN I GUESS AND ERAGON'S DEATH WAS BULLSJIT IT WASN'T EVEN MEANINGFUL LIKE, THIS BITCH MADE UP AN ENTIRLELY DIFFERENT MAGIC SYSTEM AND THAT WAS THE REASON HE DIED. AND SAPHIRA oh saphira... EVERY FEMALE CHARACTER WAS TREATED LIKE SHIT TBH SURE ERAGON'S DEAD, BUT SAPHIRA GETS A FUCK BUDDY SO SHE'S TOTALLY FINE WITH HIM BEING DEAD. WHAT COMPLETE BULLFUCKERY OH MY GOD I WOULD'VE BEEN FINE IF I HAD NEVER READ THOSE LAST TWO CHAPTERS GALBATORIX WAS PATHETIC, YET SOMEHOW PUT UP AN ACTUAL FIGHT? ERAGON AND NASUADA WERE RIDICULOUSLY WEAK FOR DRAGON RIDERS THEY SHOULD'VE BEEN KICKING ASS BUT INSTEAD THEY SPENT 99% OF THEIR TIME BEING TIRED AND TO SLOW (BUT NOT SLOW ENOUGH TO BE KILLED APPARENTLY) HALF OF THEIR PROBLEMS WOULD'VE BEEN SOLVED IF THEY WERE AS STRONG AS THEIR CANON SELVES HELL I BET CANON NASUADA COULD'VE BEAT MURTAGH'S ASS IF SHE WANTED TO HELL HE WOULD PROBABLY LET HER ERAGON AND NASUADA'S RELATIONSHIP WAS THE ONLY ONE THAT WAS DEVELOPED AT ALL AND SAYING THEIR RELATIONSHIP WAS DEVELOPED IS A FUCKING REACH ALTERNATE ENDING MY ASS THIS SHIT WAS ON AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT PLANET I WOULD'NT EVEN GIVE A FUCK IF THIS WASN'T CONSIDERED FANFICTION JUST GIVE ALL THE CHARACTERS DIFFERENT NAMES AND IT WOULD BE AN OKAY STORY ONE THAT I COULD'VE NOPED OUT OF THE MOMENT I REALIZED ALL OF THE ELVES WERE WHITE CODED, BECAUSE I HAD ABSOLUTELY NO EMOTIONAL ATTACHMENT TO THE CHARACTERS OR REASON TO READ IT IN THE FIRST PLACE. AND FUCKING ELVA i'm not going to talk about elva DID I SAY THE FEMALE CHARACTERS WERE TREATED LIKE SHIT? WELL TBH ALL OF THE MAIN CHARACTERS WERE TREATED LIKE SHIT BUT ALL OF THE FEMALE CHARACTERS, LIKE, IF YOU WERE A WOMAN AND WALKED PAST ONE OF THE MAIN CHARACTERS, YOU WERE IN FOR SOME SHIT. OR YOUR SOUL WAS GOING TO BE SOLD TO A MAN. FUUUUUCK VANIR WHY COULDN'T IT HAVE BEEN BLODGHARM HE WAS AN INTERESTING PERSON WHY IS THIS SO LONG? IS ANYBODY READING THIS? I DOUBT IT. WHAT THE FUCK WHY DID I HAVE TO READ THAT WHY DID I HAVE FAITH IN FANFICTION WHAT THE FUCK WHY COULDN'T I KEEP WATCHING TO IDIOTS SUCK AT RESIDENT EVIL 6 WHAT THE FUCK WHY CAN'T ARYA JUST STAY SINGLE WHY WAS NASUADA CRYING OVER EVERY PIECE OF BULLSHIT THAT WAS THROWN HER WAY WHAT THE FUCK WHY WHAT THE FUCK I'M STILL NOT DONE WRITING YET WHAT THE FUCK I DON'T EVEN FEEL ANGRY ANYMORE WHAT THE FUCK IT'S FOUR IN THE FUCKING MORNING it's actually 3:56... i lied WHAT THE FUCK WHY WAS IT SO BAD THOUGH??? WHAT THE FUCK god just put me to sleep I NEED TO BE KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT IMMA BOUT TO HAVE A NIGHTMARE ABOUT THIS DAMN FANFICTION HOLY SHIT fuck the letter j and all the spelling errors it brings WHY ANYWAY, SCROLLING BACK THROUGH THIS BRIGHT MY RAGE BACK FULL FORCE FUUUUUUUUUCK VANIR AND THE FACT THAT SAPHIRA'S RAPE WAS THROWN UNDER THE BUSS AFTER TWO CHAPTERS ONLY FOR THE BABY DRAGON TO DIE ANYWAY FUUUUUUUUUCK ALL OF THAT BULLSHIT COMPLETELY FUUUUUUUUUCK ALL OF THE OOC CHARACTERS NASUADA WAS OKAY FOR THE MOST PART TBH BUT HAD CERTAIN CHARACTERISTICS THAT WERE JUST... WHY??? SHE ISN'T STUPID????? WHY WOULD SHE EVER DO THAT? EVER????? As you can imagine, that was literally the entire fanfiction Why would they do this? That does not fucking exist, why use it as a plot device? Why are they (Roran and Angela) longer important to the plot? Why? Why? Why? Honestly though, I genuinely hope the author is having a great time right now... I mean, this fanfiction, sexist and shitty and plot hole filled as it is, was actually completed... hold up WHY THE FUCK ISN'T GOOD FANFICTION EVER FINISHED??? WHY HAVEN'T YOU UPDATED IN 5 TRILLION YEARS HUH? Anyway, yeah, they worked just as hard as anyone else to produce their product, shitty as it was. It's important to note that I don't know how long ago this fanfiction was made. They could've changed a lot by now. They could be producing great work that I don't know about. Or they could've posted the final, shitty chapter a week ago, but even then, they still have time to grow from it. Or they'll become the next *insert name of whoever the fuck wrote twilight here*, but at least they'll be rich.

[alagaesia-headcanons]

Sorry I snatched this screenshot from a different post, but this drives me insane and I don’t want to derail that post

*adds this to the list of reasons I would throw hands with chris*

Inheritance is the titular theme of the Inheritance Cycle, yet Paolini seems so incredibly inconsistent about what he wants to say about it. On one hand, the series has so many examples of how circumstances can frequently push children into the roles their parents once had, either willingly or forcefully. A lot of the growth of the characters and themes comes from the idea that such fates aren’t binding and these people can leave behind the roles of their parents by growing beyond them and making something entirely their own or by rejecting the role entirely and carving a new path outright. It’s a theme that means a lot to me and think is very valuable to consider for the truth it carries and the beauty of the idea that our lives are our own to shape.

And then he turns around and says shit like this that undermines all of that.

The idea that Eragon inherited his determination and his “deep seated sense of what’s right and wrong” from Selena makes me so mad. Morals are not inherited. Remember, Selena didn’t raise Eragon at all. She left right after he was born. She had no influence on his upbringing. To declare that she passed on such complex moral characteristics by merit of having conceived and given birth to him is so reductive.

This does a disservice to the people that actually interacted with Eragon as he grew up. If anyone had a formative affect on Eragon’s personality, it would likely be Garrow and Marian first and foremost. And after that, Roran growing up along side him and the rest of the villagers he interacted with frequently. These people around him are the ones who could pass on their knowledge, their experience, and their beliefs.

But far more important than that, enough to make that close to irrelevant, it that this does and incredible disservice to Eragon himself. Despite the influence of the people who were actually around him, it is still up to him to decide how he wants to live and what he considers important. Throughout the series we see as Eragon fights with himself to figure out how to use the power suddenly thrust upon him, for example, when he makes the choice to prioritize his service to the Varden and subsequent training with the elves out of his devotion to the peoples of Alagaesia as a whole over his quest to slay the Ra’zac out of a sense of loyalty to his family. He has to examine himself to understand why that desire to fight for (what he sees as) the greater good of the public is the most important to him and what he is willing to do to achieve that.

We see him struggle when presented with people who have moral systems different than his own, such as Murtagh, who feels no obligation towards a large group or a ideological cause, but has an incredibly loyalty and devotion to the individuals he loves. And Roran, who, in the end, fights for the same cause as Eragon does, but for wildly different reasons based on the wellbeing of a smaller group and the immediate, tangible things they need to be cared for, like housing, food, and safety from military threats.

Eragon’s sense of right or wrong, is not inherited because it’s not innate. I wouldn’t even say it’s deep seated. It changes. It’s something he learned as he grew and then had to personally refine as it wavered and strengthened and shifted in response to the far reaching dilemmas he found himself in. It was a journey Eragon had to personally take when formerly abstract ideas of what is good and what is evil became much more tangible when he became a Dragon Rider with incredibly influence. It’s not a journey anyone did or could have taken for him.

How Paolini managed to write all that and then just say he got his moral compass from his absent mom is beyond me. It’s a condemnation.

This idea degrades a persons autonomy. It declares that even something as deeply personal as morality is subject to an outside force, to someone else, and not something built and shaped by our own actions. This idea binds people to the character of their parents, which seems benign and inoffensive enough when talking about positive characteristics, but it implies vile things about those with bad parents.

Sorry for being a prick and quoting myself, but I touched on something similar to this in another post about Murtagh and said, what does it mean to say, “Oh, you aren’t like your father, so you’re not damned to follow his path; you’re like your mother instead!”

I think the temptation is to attribute good characteristics of children to parents as something those children can then depend upon as something innate that they don’t have to struggle for and something that won’t fail them. It makes things nice and simple. But that’s not true, it never is, and the idea falls apart when considering the possible inheritance of negative traits. Using Murtagh as an example, cherry picking positive traits from Selena that he has in common to negate the idea that he got negative traits from Morzan is still damning him to the exact same idea that he is solely a product of his parents and that his actions don’t truly belong to him. Murtagh literally states that his frustration in being compared to Morzan isn’t because he’s being compared to someone who did horrible things, it’s that he isn’t being regarded as an individual who can make his own choices independent of someone else’s influence. He longs to be seen as his own person, not a continuation of someone else.

Attributing Murtagh’s qualities to Selena, or Eragon’s, or any other character’s qualities to their parent is continuing the exact same problem, no matter how complimentary the comparison may seem at first glance. Morals are not inherited, they are learned through the world and our experiences as we go through it. The books do a great job of showing this in many places which makes me even more angry and sad to see the author himself say things like this. I think it demands a critical eye not just in the way that we view these characters, but how it relates to the way we see real people.

These are just my thoughts for consideration if you want them.

Edit: got the source of the screenshot just bc I wanted it here

[broadway-book-badger]

December Reads

Happy New Year everyone! As I said in my 2016 reads post, I hope that this year is better to you than the last one and that good things come your way. As I also promised in that post, I’m going to have a bit of a waffle on about the year and my life and stuff.

Now that the festive period is over, I’m getting into revision for my January exams, what a fun time, not. Still, I’ve got like a week and a half til I go back to Uni, so hopefully I’ll be able to get everything done, although I have a few trips out and catching up with friends and stuff planned, but we’ll see. I’m sure it’ll be fine. I always seem to say that...But yeah, the festive period has been and gone, and I’m not going to lie, I didn’t feel particularly festive at any point. Christmas and new year just sort of happened, which is a shame, because I had been looking forward to it, and then yeah... Still, I’ve really loved being home - part of me doesn’t want to go back (especially not to exams) but hey ho.

People seem to be reflecting on the past year a lot at the minute, and here’s my 2 cents - I think there’s been a lot of bad out there in the world lately, and sometimes it’s hard to see the good, but that’s what I want to try and do, as much I can. I also find that sometimes it can be hard to hold onto your own opinions in the middle of everyone else screaming their’s so much louder, but that’s another thing that I’m going to keep trying to do, as I try to make my way in the world, and maybe try to make things better. I don’t know how, but you’ve got to have hope and belief and all that shit. So, good things - I read a lot of books, and watched some good TV and films. I had some great trips away with friends and family. I smashed my A levels, and although I had to say goodbye to my school and my old friends, I’ve made some great new friends, and am getting used to Uni. My family had a lot to celebrate in 2016, with several big birthdays and anniversaries and I’ve got some good things planned for this year. I’ve got a house for my 2nd year sorted out and am hopefully going to spend my summer working over in the USA, which I’m looking forward to. 

Ok, I think that’s enough now. There’s more thoughts and stuff I could have shared, but I’m not very good at being profound, and I doubt anyone really cares that much. Does anyone even read these posts? I don’t suppose it really matters whether I’m just shouting into the void, it’s probably good to get some stuff out of my head. Shit, this is getting long, and I haven’t even started talking about the books yet. Imma get to that now.

In December, I read 3 books. They were all quite long actually, and very good. My thoughts will be under the cut, and as always, full spoilers apply because I will be talking about some specific plot points!

1) Eldest by Christopher Paolini

A year and a half after reading the first book and saying that I would get round to this one soon, I finally did it. I don’t know why it took me so long, maybe just the length of it, even though I have read longer books since Eragon (cough, Outlander, cough). Anyway, the whole time I was reading it I was like, wow this is really good, why have I not read this series before now?! So, I am planning on picking up book 3 fairly soon, definitely this year!

I thought that this book had a very Empire Strikes Back kind of feel to it, by which I mean it’s a sequel set in the wake of a victory for the rebels, but things go south pretty quickly, while Eragon is off training with the old master. Not to mention the whole reveal about Eragon’s father at the end, or “Eragon, I am your brother, which makes him your father.” Although, I’m not 100% sure that I believe Murtagh. 

I liked that the book kept cutting from Eragon to other storylines with Roran and Nasuada, because as much as I liked those parts, a whole book from Eragon’s PoV would have gotten boring. I wasn’t overly keen on how Eragon kept trying to get with Arya though, get over it! Nasuada though, I loved. I didn’t remember her as being a very big part of book 1, but she stepped up as such a good leader. I loved how she stuck to her own ideas too, especially the bit about “You can’t fight the Empire with lace!”

I think Galbatorix has been quite a good faceless evil-type villain so far, kind of like the Firelord was in the first couple of seasons of Avatar - like you can see all the effects of what he’s doing but you never really see him, but I kind of want him to step up and get involved now. Also, I’m so glad that there are more dragons now too! Like I thought there probably would be since there’s a different red dragon on the cover of the book, but I didn’t see Oromis and Glaedr coming! Like, I said I really enjoyed this, and do plan on finishing the series soon, I promise!

2) Tales from the Shadowhunter Academy by Cassandra Clare

Somewhere along the road, I have become serious Shadowhunter trash. I’m not sure when it happened, but it’s a long way from when I read City of Bones towards the end of the Twilight days (I was about 13) and thought it was ok, I guess. I have been looking forward to this coming out for a long time. Longer than some because I waited for the hard copy to come out rather than the ebooks, which I think were released the year before. Either way, this did not disappoint. I love Simon a lot, and was so excited to get a whole book about him! And it was nice to see all the other TMI and TID characters again too.

I did find Simon’s amnesia thing a little bit frustrating. I have slightly mixed feelings about that whole storyline, and him getting dragged back into the Shadow World after getting out, but more Simon is always good, and I really really enjoyed this book. What frustrated me was that because I’d already read Lady Midnight, which is set after this, I knew he would become a Shadowhunter and be Parabatai with Clary and get engaged to Izzy, so I kind of wanted him to be at that point with them already instead of going through all the angst.

The list of things that I loved is a lot longer, don’t worry. I loved all the nerd references - Star Wars, Firefly, Avatar, it was great. I also like how the academy is a bit like Hogwarts in some respects, only shit, but Simon is super determined to change things for the better, and he kind of does, and its nice. And that whole story where Magnus and Alec adopt their warlock baby, Max, was just one of the cutest, fluffiest things ever and it was amazing and I loved it.

This also managed to make me excited for the next books to come out. I’m really looking forward to The Last Hours trilogy - Nothing But Shadows and the story about him in The Bane Chronicles have got me very intrigued about James Herondale, and any powers that he and Lucie may possess. Also, irresponsible but good Dad Will is going to be so great. The story about Mark Blackthorn gave me a lot of feelings, but his whole storyline about the Wild Hunt does. I’m really loving it, but there are a lot of feelings, and I need Lord of Shadows to come out soon.

George was hands down my favourite new character, so I was very upset (understatement) when he was killed off in the last few pages. But then he met Jessamine’s ghost and Simon took his name because they were brothers and I have a lot of feelings about this and its not ok. But seriously, I thought this book was great. It’s not small, but I read it in 3 days and suffered the book hangover. Luckily, the Shadowhunters TV show is back as of today, so that can fill the void until the next book.

3) The Diviners by Libba Bray

This has been sitting on my shelf for a long time, and is another one that I finally got round to reading. Fantastic Beasts (which I loved) put me in the mood for the Roaring 20s fantasy mystery thing, although this was definitely more Supernatural than Harry Potter. It had a slightly slow start, and I made the fatal mistake of putting it down just as it started to get going in order to read Shadowhunter Academy, which I’d just got for Christmas. It basically meant that with the book hangover, it took a while for me to get back into the story. That said, once I did get back into it, I read like half of it in one sitting and finished it at 3am this morning. Did I regret my life choices when I had to get up? A little bit, but it was really good!

It was a good mystery, and hella creepy in places. Once the murders got going, I really wanted to find out what would happen next, as well as wanting to find out all the characters’ backstories and secrets. Some of them were definitely not what I was expecting. That said, for all the things that got answered, I have a whole load more questions that I hope will get answered in the sequel, which I now really want to get a hold of to read.

I loved the world of this, blending the all the historical detail with the occult and paranormal side, it basically combined a lot of genres that I like. I really liked all the characters as well, although I was not expecting Evie to end up with Jericho. I thought she’d end up with Sam! I’m excited for more though, hopefully I won’t wait so long!

Well, this ended up being slightly longer than anticipated... sorry! Until next time!

[modern-inheritance]

Heyy! Do you have any ideas for the cast of Eragon's new series?? Btw I loveee your posts

Hey Anon! Sorry it took me so long to answer this, but I wanted to give you a better answer...and I have failed. Thank you for the love though!

I don't know many actors/actresses by name. And none that I know of (besides Jeremy Irons) would fit any of the characters. But I CAN give you a ramble on what I'd like to see!

Eragon: Get those high cheekboned, cleft chinned, twink lookin' pretty boys out of here. Eragon in book one is not pretty. He is not headshot worthy. He is a 15 year old farm boy, doing physical labor, rarely bathing, hunting in the wild, and not caring about his appearance beyond the average. He's got thick, dark eyebrows. Dark hair. Apart from that, we have little to no description of how Eragon looks, beyond the mention in Brisingr that his hair curls at his temples slightly. But he is not pretty.

I want an average, slightly rugged, farm boy teenager. Not some model.

Brom: Jeremy. Fucking. Irons.

Arya: Not white and not a redhead. Elves are played as asian based. I don't want a skinny armed woman either, Arya's noticeably muscled in the books. Black hair, green eyes if possible. No wimps. Must be able to do the stunts or at least look like she can.

Honestly though? If she weren't older (I haven't seen a recent picture of her for a long time so I'm not sure about it), I'd tap Michelle Rodriguez. I love that woman. She's got the tough looks, attitude, and abilities needed to give Arya the presence she needs. But I'm looking through MIC tinted glasses. For canon Arya, we still need someone with a presence, a woman who puts of a 'don't fuck with me' vibe but can also sometimes dip her head in respect to politics (I said sometimes, but I'm gonna get shit for this I know it), quiet but sharp, and looks and acts like she can hold her own. If they're going to be more centered toward an adult audience (which apparently they are!), let's not sexualize her. But the history of torture, PTSD, etc can def be delved into and someone who can portray that respectfully would be fantastic.

Murtagh: Again, get rid of those pretty boys. Yes, Murtagh grew up with a more pampered life, but just...I don't want these model types. It's an issue when I've seen every single fan cast putting these models on there and come on. This is a medieval fantasy thing. Paolini at least tries to show some more realistic aspects of life and war. Models are not included.

Someone that can show both Murtagh's darker side AND his overarching vulnerability and pain. Murtagh is a hurt individual that keeps having everything taken from him or used to hurt him. He's complicated, especially in the later books. We need someone who can show that.

Nasuada: Please keep her natural hair. I've got a friend who read the books with me who was so happy to see a black woman with her natural hair in a fantasy book because she never had seen someone with hair just like hers in fantasy before. We need someone who can slump down in private, the weight of an entire war and country on her shoulders, but draw herself up and show willpower, regality, dignity. Someone who can use subtlety when doing the politics bits.

Angela: Something that I and others I've talked to about Angela always forget is that Angela looks no older than Nasuada, who is about 18 at the time of the books. Wild energy. Wild, curly hair. Not afraid to hold a live frog/toad for a scene.

Galbatorix: For the love of whatever the hell is holy, not John Malcovich. I get that we didn't know what he looked like at the time, but what the hell was that?!

Durza: Scrawny lean ass pale dude and can we move away from the scary fingernails and yellow teeth bit? The pointy teeth thing, fine, that's canon, prosthetic teeth are a thing. Otherwise I just want someone who just oozes lithe, cocky, oily, psycopath. Bared tooth, smirking, twisted grin type.

Uuuuuuh....who else? Roran can't be a model either, and he's more beefy than Eragon even in the first book. Someone who can grow a damn fine beard.

I'm probably forgetting a ton of mains but I am currently very hungry and my roomie is making me lunch so I must go stare at her like an unfed dog. Feel free to reblog with questions or send another ask for particulars, but again I won't have specific actors/actresses. If you know an actor/actress that fits any of my descriptions/wants then please mention them in a reblog or DM or ask! I'd love to see!

[certifiedsimper]

2 thing today that make me feel old!!

It is Rory Culkin s birthday again like stop growing you old man

Barbie movie is officially one year old