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raynblaze · 2 years ago

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Family Values

Lou was made aware that Athena was no longer in the basement of the bar, and he knew that she must have escaped through the tunnels. He didn't really think much of it, since he figured she was now out of their hair, and he could focus on comforting his daughter Lyanna.

Lyanna may look nothing like her father, but she still takes after him in some ways. It turns out she liked to smoke as well, and she started feeling more comfortable talking to her father.

"...There's like, this part of me that still wants to be a werewolf sometimes, just so I can help out my girlfriend with her daughter." Lyanna said. "I'm just, so lost when It comes to her..."Lou looked over at his daughter.

"Well, I totally get where your coming from...but you're not bailing like I did." Lyanna paused for a moment and handed the blunt back to her father.

"Dad..I really do wish you had been in my life more. I love my mother, she's been my role model....but.." Lyanna looked down. "There are times when I could have used a father like you."

Lou looked over at his daughter and could see the sadness in her eyes. He remembers ditching her mother to go out and sleep with other woman, while she stayed home and took care of his daughter. He realized just how selfish he had been when he was younger, and never cared to reach out to his daughter even when she left for Sulani. It didn't help that Lucy threatened Lyanna's mother on the daily.

"I really am...sorry for everything. I know I've told you before, but...I really mean it. I was a dumbass....so was Lucy. She knows it too."Lyanna smiled a little at her dad.

"She still scares me. It's going to take me a minute to get comfortable around her, but I'll try."After a few more minutes of smoking together, Lou and his daughter give each other a hug, and let all the bad feelings between them wash away. Ronan came inside from working out, and it was his turn to catch up with his sister.

"The stuff that goes on here is crazy, sis!" Ronan said, as he tells the wild werewolf stories of Moonwood Mill to Lyanna."Rory tells me that she's brawled everyone here, and I'm gonna start fighting too!" Lyanna shook her head at her brother.

"I don't understand you crazy wolves sometimes."

"Hey, you're a wolf at heart, whether you like it or not!" Ronan told her.

"We're family, you know!" Lyanna hugged her brother.

"You're right. I love my crazy wolf family!"

Suddenly, the door swung open. It was Lucy...and she had someone with her. It was Athena.

All 3 of them stood up very quickly with shocked expression. Lou and Lyanna were still blazed out of their mind, and couldn't process what was happening.

"Lyanna!? I wasn't expecting to see you here!?" Lucy said.

"KEEP HER AWAY FROM ME!!!" Lyanna shouted in the back. She was talking about Athena. "She tried to attack me!?!"Athena rolled her eyes.

"Well, isn't that just fantastic." Lucy glared over at Athena. "Don't worry, we're not staying here. I'm grabbing some things and we're off to go train in the tunnels. I'm not letting this crazy b*tch anywhere near my family, don't worry."

"Lucy...what do you mean!? Train?" Lou looked confused.

"We'll talk later when Arya takes over watching her." Lucy said. "There's a lot I need to catch you up on..." Lucy never told Lou about Greg's whereabouts. He was the one that turned them both, but she figured he would need to know eventually.

Athena would have to learn how to strong if she eventually wanted to see her father, so she was open to the idea of listening to Lucy. There was still a big distrust between them both; but they would have to work together if they both wanted to ultimately reach their personal goals.

#sims #sims4 #ts4 #ts4story #thesims #thesims4 #simstories #simstory #simblr #ts4 story #werewolves #lou howell #the sims

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happyandticklish · 4 years ago

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Idk if you’ve already done this, but do u have any headcanons about the gangsey group and if they’re sensitive and such, and if so where? Love ur blog xx

Aw, thank you! <3 I would love to write some headcannons! I believe I’ve done a couple for Gansey before right here.

The Gangsey:

-Gansey:

. I figured I’d start here because his name is right there in the title.

. Okay, so Gansey is one of those people who’s deathly ticklish but doesn’t seem like it at first. He’s really good at hiding/suppressing it, so most people just assume he’s not (his friends know the truth of course).

. His worst spots are his neck, knees, and stomach. His laugh starts off as this startled huffy chuckle, before slowly turning into this combination of wild, crazed laughter that makes everyone around him melt.

. Loves being tickled because of this physical closeness of it all. My boy is hella touch-starved, and doesn’t know how to handle any kind of attention. Teases will destroy him because he just doesn’t know how to respond to it and will turn into this blushing, stammering mess.

. More of a lee than a ler, except when it comes to Ronan because the latter is a little shit and needs to be put in his place. He’ll also tickle Blue on occasion, but the consequences are scary so he tends to refrain.

-Adam:

. Not as ticklish as most people would assume, but he has a couple spots that get him going.

. His ribs and knees are death spots, and if you do any combination of the two he is not held responsible for his actions.

. Didn’t really know how to handle being tickled at first. Gansey ended up poking him in the side once jokingly and he nearly jumped out of his skin. Gansey of course immediately apologized and Adam assured him it was fine about a million time, his face burning all the while.

. Tickling made him feel weak at first, as it was just one more way that he was out of control. After a while though, he begins to feel comfortable enough for soft gentle tickles and eventually more intense stuff, though he still can’t do too much at a time.

. Doesn’t mind tickling on the whole. He doesn’t hate it, but it can get super unbearable at times and the others have to be careful not to push boundaries with him.

. As a ler he is fucking terrifying.

. He knows everyone’s spots because he’s eerily good at observing others, as well as whatever method flusters them most. His main victim is Ronan, though he’ll wreck the others on occasion if they need it, even Blue though he’s gotten kicked multiple times.

. Doesn’t actually tickle Gansey that much, even though he knows the other likes it. There’s something strangely nerve-wracking about the concept of wrecking Perfect Gansey. He’ll risk it on occasion, however, and each time the sight of Gansey genuinely laughing and pleading makes him have a near heart attack.

-Ronan:

. One of the few of them that doesn’t actually deny being ticklish or the fact that he enjoys it. Ronan’s creed is honesty and he holds to it even in situations like these. He doesn’t openly admit it, but he won’t contradict anyone if they say something.

. The small of his back is weirdly sensitive and Adam teases him with it all the time. Tracing swirling shapes with his nails over the spot will make him melt and he’ll let out these pure giggles that Adam is addicted to.

. Other than that, his thighs, feet, and underarms are his worst. Adam loves to sneak up behind him and taser him, usually leading to the other choking on a repressed snort before glaring at the other. His thighs being sensitive can become difficult in more intimate circumstances, though sometimes Adam will take advantage of this and just pepper kisses over his thighs until he’s a flushed, writhing mess of laughter.

. The tickle monster to boot. Has no sense of self-preservation and will destroy everyone regardless of consequences. Pins Gansey down all the time and goes to town on his stomach and sides. He has this look he’ll get right beforehand and Gansey’s eyes will widen as he starts scrambling backwards and protesting, “No, wait, hold, Ronan-”

. Often will just straight up pick up Noah and dig into his ribs and stomach, leaving the other a squirming, giggling mess instantly.

. Adam and him hold constant tickle fights, and if Ronan ever gets the upper hand, hoo boy... He loves to tease him with these soft, gentle tickles that drive Adam absolutely insane, all the while commenting on how beautiful he looks like this (Adam insists he hates it, but Ronan knows the truth).

-Noah:

. Possibly the most ticklish person on earth, god help this boy.

. Has this boisterous laugh that’s such a change from his normally drawn-back personality, and for a moment they’re able to see the Noah from before, high energy and full of joy.

. Literally ticklish everywhere, but his worst spot would have to be his hips. Scratching your nails lightly over the spot is unfair and he cannot handle it for the life of him. But if you dig your thumbs into the dip of the bone and press in, he’ll lose his shit, shrieking and arching back against whatever surface he’s on, desperately trying to get your hands away.

. Loves tickling, being tickled, tickling others, just everything about it. Will openly admit to people that he loves it and and it always flusters the others how easily he can just say it. Asks for tickles often, though he does have to be restrained often as he is just too sensitive to hold still.

. A strange phenomenon they discovered is that his ghostly qualities actually make him less ticklish than he was in life, but if Blue’s in the room than it’s amplified. So if any of them ever needs to wreck them they make sure she’s in the room. And if she’s the one tickling him? God have mercy on his soul.

. Alternatively, if his body is less corporeal it makes his fingers feel like cold feathers against your skin and tickles like a motherfucker. Ronan, out of curiosity, had him try on himself once and it was almost scary how ticklish that simple touch was.

. A super playful ler, he’s constantly poking his friend’s sides and scribbling fingers over the backs of their necks on a near daily basis. He just loves seeing his friends smiling and happy (have I mentioned that I love him???).

-Blue:

. Her greatest accomplishment has been convincing everyone in her life that she’s not ticklish and that all breaks down when she meets the Raven Boys.

. Adam is the first to discover it when they’re dating, but was too shy at the time to initiate anything. Gansey is the second to figure it out, and is much bolder in his further investigations. As they all quickly discover however, Blue is dangerous when tickled and you will get obtain physical harm if you attempt it.

. Generally speaking, she doesn’t like tickling all that much, though she’ll tolerate it from a Gansey on occasion.

. Has an adorable little giggle that she is super embarrassed of and Gansey loves. Her worst spots are her hips, ribs, and sides. Basically, her entire upper torso. She’ll snort if you tweak her sides suddenly, as all members of the Gangsey have confirmed by this point.

. A tiny but vicious ler. No mercy from this munchkin. She takes constant advantage of Gansey’s sensitivity, and there’s rarely a peaceful moment between the two ever since she found out about it. Most of their make-out sessions (post the Raven King, of course) are filled with at least a giggle or two because Blue cannot keep her hands to herself—but then again, who could when their boyfriend has such cute reactions?

. Discovered Adam was ticklish also while they were dating and loved to tease him about it. Once Adam and Ronan began dating, she made sure to pass this information on.

. Noah is one of the few people that she’ll actually get into tickle fights with, as there’s something so addicting about the comfort of his presence and his infectious smiles. Loves to grab him from behind and ruin him with tickly hugs, and will even let him tickle her back on occasion.

. Her and Ronan have a truce—Blue doesn’t tickle him, he doesn’t tickle her. But if one of them ever does build up the confidence and initiates something, it is war. Adam still gets shivers thinking about their last tickle fight.

I hope you enjoyed these! Thank you so much for the ask! :)

#tickle headcannon #the raven cycle #gansey #gangsey #headcannons #tickling #ronan lynch #adam parrish #noah czerny #blue sargent #pynch #bluesey #ronsey #adansey #roah #asks #answered ask #trc #richard campbell gansey iii

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ireadyabooks · 4 years ago

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Books to Read in 2021

It’s a NEW YEAR, everyone!

We made it through 2020, and whether or not you hit your reading goal this past year, don’t worry! 2021 is a new year for your TBR, and we have an AMAZING line-up of books you should add to your reading list ASAP.

THE LIFE I’M IN

This story of the power of forgiveness and second chances presents the unflinching story of a young woman trapped in the underworld of human trafficking. In Sharon G. Flake's latest and unflinching novel, we follow Charlese Jones, who, with her raw, blistering voice speaks the truths many girls face, offering insight to some of the causes and conditions that make a bully. Turned out of the only home she has known, Char boards a bus to nowhere where she is lured into the dangerous web of human trafficking.

HOLD BACK THE TIDE

A darkly seductive story of murder, betrayal, love, and family secrets in a small town in the Scottish Highlands. Alva knows that her father killed her mother, but she can’t prove it. The more she investigates though, the more she realizes that the truth can be more monstrous than lies/ And while you might be able to outrun anything that emerges from the dark water, you can never escape your past . . .

MUTED

Denver is more than ready on the day she and her best friends Dali and Shak sing their way into the orbit of the biggest R&B star in the world, Sean "Mercury" Ellis. Merc gives them everything: parties, perks, wild nights -- plus hours and hours in the recording studio. Even the painful sacrifices and the lies the girls have to tell are all worth it. Until they're not. Denver begins to realize that she's trapped in Merc's world, struggling to hold on to her own voice. As the dream turns into a nightmare, she must make a choice: lose her big break, or get broken.

THE POETRY OF SECRETS

A lyrical portrait of hidden identities and forbidden love set against the harrowing backdrop of the Spanish Inquisition. Isabel’s dreams to pursue poetry and a partner of her own choosing are thrown into jeopardy when the Spanish Inquisition reaches her small town.

SHURI #2: THE VANISHED

Shuri, the Princess of Wakanda (and sister to the Black Panther), sets out to save a group of kidnapped girls in this all-new, original novel by New York Times bestselling author Nic Stone!

BRIDGE OF SOULS

Where there are ghosts, Cassidy Blake follows . . .unless it's the other way around? Cass thinks she might have this ghost-hunting thing down. But nothing can prepare Cass for New Orleans, which wears all of its hauntings on its sleeve. And the city's biggest surprise is a foe Cass never expected to face: a servant of Death itself.

FOLLOW YOUR ARROW

When bisexual influencer CeCe breaks up with her girlfriend, Silvie, she’s devastated. But then she starts falling for a new guy who has no idea she’s internet famous...and CeCe wants to keep it that way. But as her secrets catch up to her, she finds herself in the middle of an online storm, where she'll have to confront the blurriness of public vs. private life, and figure out what it really means to speak her truth.

MIRROR’S EDGE

The danger rises and the deception grows in the heart-stopping third book in the New York Times bestselling Impostors series! Are twins Frey and Rafi on the same side . . . or are they playing to their own agendas? If their father is deposed from Shreve, who will take control? And what other forces may be waiting in the wings?

ZARA HOSSAIN IS HERE

Zara's family has waited years for their visa process to be finalized so that they can officially become US citizens. While dealing with the Islamophobia that she faces at school, Zara has to lay low. But when her tormentor vandalizes her house with racist graffiti, a violent crime puts Zara’s entire future at risk. Now she must pay the ultimate price and choose between fighting to stay in the only place she's ever called home or losing the life she loves and everyone in it.

REMEDY

It's a mystery - why is Cara so sick? It feels like she's been sick all her life . . . but she and her mom have never stayed in one place long enough for doctors to really understand what's happening to her. Now, at fourteen, Cara is tired of being tired, and sick of being sick. Unable to afford the care she needs, Cara's mom starts a Caring for Cara campaign online. The money starts pouring in. But something's not right to Cara. And the harder she looks, the less she understands.

HEARTSTOPPER VOLUME 3

The third volume in the poignant and sweet Heartstopper series, featuring beautiful two-color artwork! Charlie didn't think Nick could ever like him back, but now they're officially boyfriends. Nick has even found the courage to come out to his mom. But coming out isn't something that happens just once, and Nick and Charlie try to figure out when to tell their friends that they're dating. Not being out to their classmates gets even harder during a school trip to Paris. As Nick and Charlie's feelings get more serious, they'll need each other more than ever.

THE BLOCK

In the second book of The Loop trilogy, Luka is trapped in a fate worse than death. But now that he knows the truth about what he and his fellow inmates are being used for, it's more important than ever that he not only escapes, but that he builds an army.

ON THE HOOK

Hector has always minded his own business while he works towards a better life. Until Joey, whose older brother, Chavo, is head of the Discípulos gang, tells Hector that he's going to kill him: maybe not today, or tomorrow, but someday. And Hector, frozen with fear, does nothing. From that day forward, Hector's death is hanging over his head every time he leaves the house. But when a fight between Chavo and Hector's brother escalates, Hector is left with no choice but to take a stand. It's up to Hector to choose whether he's going to lose himself to revenge or get back to the hard work of living.

MISTER IMPOSSIBLE

Do the dreamers need the ley lines to save the world . . . or will their actions end up dooming the world? As Ronan, Hennessy, and Bryde try to make dreamers more powerful, the Moderators are closing in, sure that this power will bring about disaster. In the remarkable second book of The Dreamer Trilogy, Maggie Stiefvater pushes her characters to their limits – and shows what happens to them and others when they start to break.

THE GHOSTS WE KEEP

Everything happens for a reason.At least that's what everyone keeps telling Liam Cooper after his older brother Ethan is killed suddenly in a hit-and-run. Feeling more alone and isolated than ever, Liam has to not only learn to face the world without one of the people he loved the most, but also face the fading relationships of his two best friends in the process. Soon, Liam finds themself spending time with Ethan's best friend, Marcus, who might just be the only person that seems to know exactly what they're going through - for better and for worse.

SIMONE BREAKS ALL THE RULES

Simone is shaking things up by making a bucket list of everything she hasn’t been able to do thanks to her strict Haitian immigrant parents. But as the list takes on a life of its own, things get much more complicated than Simone expected. She'll have to discover which rules are worth breaking, and which might save her from heartbreak.

SPEAK FOR YOURSELF

Skylar is ready to show everyone that her latest app is brilliant by winning an academic competition. To do that, she's going to use it to win State at the Scholastic Exposition, the nerdiest academic competition around. But when she falls for one of her team members and things get complicated, is her path to greatness over before it begins?

THE GIRL FROM THE SEA

A graphic novel about family, romance, and first love! Morgan's biggest secret is that she has a lot of secrets, including the one about wanting to kiss another girl. Then one night, Morgan is saved from drowning by a mysterious girl named Keltie. The two become friends and suddenly life on the island doesn't seem so stifling anymore. But Keltie has some secrets of her own. And as the girls start to fall in love, everything they're each trying to hide will find its way to the surface...whether Morgan is ready or not.

RISE TO THE SUN

Three days. Two girls. One life-changing music festival. Toni is reeling in the wake of the loss of her roadie father and desperate to figure out where her life will go from here. Olivia is a hopeless romantic whose heart has just taken a beating (again). When the two collide at the Farmland Music and Arts Festival, it feels like kismet. But when something goes wrong and the festival is sent into a panic, Toni and Olivia find that they need each other, and the music, more than they ever imagined.

YOU & ME AT THE END OF THE WORLD

Hannah Ashton wakes up to silence. The entire city around her is empty, except for one other person: Leo Sterling. Leo might be the hottest boy ever (and not just because he's the only one left), but he's also too charming, too selfish, and too devastating for his own good, let alone Hannah's. Together, they search for answers amid crushing isolation. But while their empty world may appear harmless . . . it's not. Because nothing is quite as it seems, and if Hannah and Leo don't figure out what's going on, they might just be torn apart forever.

IN THE SAME BOAT

Sadie is ready for the race of a lifetime: The Texas River Odyssey. But then her brother ditches her and she has to pair up with her former best friend, Cully. It's irritating enough that he grew up to be so attractive, but once they're on the river it turns out he's ill-prepared for such a dangerous race. But as the miles pass, the pain of the race builds, they uncover the truth about their feuding families, and Sadie's feelings for Cully begin to shift. Could this race change her life more than she ever could have imagined?

THE GREAT DESTROYERS

In this alternate-history novel, Jo joins the Pax Games: an Olympics-style competition that pits pilots of mechas against each other. But when fighters start dying in the arena, Jo is drawn into a deadly political plot. In a global arms race between superpowers, playing out in violent games that only humanity could create, comes a chilling story of clashing titans, ruthless competition, freedom, and the girl caught in the middle of it all.

#I read YA #books to read #booklr #2021 books #tbr #2021 tbr

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literatureandmonsters · 4 years ago

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Monsters and Self-Acceptance in YA Lit: The Dream Thieves

The word monster “derives from the Latin monstrum, which is related to the verbs monstrare (‘show’ or ‘reveal’) and monere (‘warn’ or ‘portend’) [1].” Monsters have been a staple of our stories for hundreds of years. What do monsters, specifically in stories for young adults, warn us against?

The Dream Thieves, a 2012 YA novel by Maggie Stiefvater, explores how monsters in literature can meaningfully characterize self-loathing and illuminates the path to overcoming it. The Dream Thieves is the second novel in a young adult fantasy series that follows a group of friends on their quest to find and obtain a wish from a mythical king said to be sleeping in the hills of western Virginia. In the second book, the friends learn that one of them, Ronan, has the ability to take things from his dreams; however, Ronan has little control over this ability and frequently brings monsters out of his nightmares. These monsters, I will argue, represent Ronan’s self-hatred and the journey he takes to tame these monsters is a meaningful tale of self-acceptance.

In the first scene involving these monsters, we see one of Ronan’s dreams quickly turn into a nightmare. "Ronan could hear the night horrors coming, in love with his blood and his sadness. Their wings flapped in time with his heartbeat... Ronan was afraid of [them] in a ... permanent way that came from being killed by them again and again in his head.” When he accidentally brings two of the monsters out of his nightmare, he has to explain to his friends that “they come when I’m having a nightmare... They hate me. In the dreams, they’re called night horrors.’” Since the night horrors Ronan dreams of loath him, when he brings these monsters out of his dreams, he is essentially creating a physical manifestation of the hatred he feels towards himself.

We do not immediately learn why Ronan is filled with so much resentment towards himself. The prologue, however, reveals that “Ronan Lynch lived with every sort of secret.” His first is that he has the ability to take things from his dreams, but we also learn that he has a “harder kind of secret. One you keep from yourself.” Both secrets are intertwined with Ronan’s monstrosity and his self-hatred.

The first secret about his magical ability makes Ronan view himself as a monster:

“It was not the easiest thing to take only one thing from a dream… To bring any of the things from his nightmares — no one but Ronan knew the terrors that lived in his mind. Plagues and devils, conquerors and beasts. Ronan had no secret more dangerous than this… He remembered what Gansey had said: You incredible creature! Creature was a good word for him, Ronan thought. What the hell am I?”

He remembers the words his closest friend told him when Ronan showed him something he dreamed for the first time: “You incredible creature!” Later, in church, “Ronan closed his eyes to be blessed” and silently prays, “please God what am I tell me what I am." Ronan’s strange ability allows him to take monsters from his nightmares, but it also causes leads him to view himself as a monster or creature. This ability also makes him constantly wonder what exactly he is. Later in the novel, a character looks at Ronan and plainly says “I know what you are.”

This character is Joseph Kavinsky, a classmate of Ronan and his friends and an antagonistic force in their lives. At the beginning of the book, Kavinsky, as he is called, is mainly known for his wild parties and fast cars, and frequently street-races Ronan. After one of these races, the night horror that escaped from Ronan’s dreams in the first scene attacks him. Kavinsky drives up and shoots the night horror dead. As they are driving away from the scene, Kavinsky tells Ronan, “I know what you are,” and subsequently reveals that he, too, can take things out of his dreams, that the very car they are riding away in was dreamed up by him. Suddenly, Ronan is not alone. He still does not have a word for what he is, the “creature” that he is still does not have a name, but Ronan is no longer the only one. In fact, one of the first questions Ronan asks Kavinsky is “are there others?” However, Kavinsky just replies, “hell if I know.” Despite his strong dislike of Kavinsky, Ronan is relieved. He is also disturbed that his secret – something only his friends know – is out. “Ronan’s heart twitched convulsively. It couldn’t seem to get used to this secret being the opposite of one.” But as we know from the prologue, this secret is Ronan’s only secret.

We do not learn for sure what this concealed secret is until almost the end of the novel. After Kavinsky teaches Ronan how to take things from his dreams more deliberately, Ronan goes back to his friends. In a tense exchange as Ronan is leaving, Kavinsky says, “you don’t fucking need him” meaning Ronan’s best friend, Gansey. To this, Ronan responds “Wait. You thought- it was never gonna be you and me. Is that what you thought?” This interaction marks the end of friendly relations between the two dreamers and leads us closer to discovering Ronan’s second secret.

During the climax of the book, Ronan and Kavinsky meet in the dreamspace where they both take things from. Ronan asks Kavinsky “What’s here, K? Nothing! No one!” to which Kavinsky replies “Just us.” Ronan contemplates Kavinsky’s response: “There was a heavy understanding in that statement, amplified by the dream. I know what you are, Kavinsky had said.” This contemplation leads to the Ronan admitting his second secret:

‘That’s not enough,’ Ronan replied.

‘Don’t say Gansey, man. Do not say it. He is never going to be with you. And don’t tell me you don’t swing that way, man. I’m in your head.’

‘That’s not what Gansey is to me,’ Ronan said.

‘You didn’t say you don’t swing that way.’

Ronan was silent. Thunder growled under his feet. ‘No, I didn’t.’”

Up until this point, Ronan has not said aloud - or even thought about - the second secret mentioned in the prologue, but in this climactic scene of the novel, Ronan replies with, “no, I didn’t.” We now see that the secret Ronan kept from himself is about his sexuality. This revelation sheds light on why Ronan’s mind was filled with monsters that hated him, and casts light on another reason why he also viewed himself as a monster.

The author, Maggie Stiefvater, has said that the most important part of writing her stories is “getting into the reader’s head and moving the emotional furniture around.” As book reviewer Lee Mandelo notes, in regards to Ronan’s “sexuality, his secrets from others and himself, his attraction to Adam and Kavinsky in equal and terrifying measures” Stiefvater is “‘moving the emotional furniture around’ while the reader isn’t looking.” While we haven’t seen Ronan contemplating his sexuality in any part of the book, we realize that the parts we have seen (Ronan’s shame, self-hatred, and fear of his secrets being revealed) all tie into his sexuality as well. Ronan remembers Kavinsky’s earlier statement, “I know what you are,” but where before it meant that Kavinsky knew Ronan was a dreamer, here it means he knows he is gay. Stiefvater continues this emotional work after we realize the reason for Ronan’s self-loathing.

After Ronan’s “no, I didn’t,” Kavinsky, spurned by Ronan, takes a monster of his own from the dreamspace. Ronan knows that the monster, now in reality, poses a great threat to his friends in the waking world. Ronan needs to dream up something to combat Kavinsky’s monster; Then a night horror appears. Since these monsters “never want anyone else,” Ronan laments, “this won’t save anyone.” A friend in the dreamspace tells Ronan, “‘It’s only you. Why do you hate you?’” The statement “it’s only you” cements the supposition that Ronan’s night horrors are an extension of himself, particularly the part of himself that loathes what he is (both a dreamer, and gay, as we now know). However, Ronan considers what his friend says and in response to “why do you hate you?” concludes, “I don’t.” When Ronan wakes up he brings the night horror with him, but this time the monster does not set out to kill him. It saves his friends from Kavinsky’s monster. “The fire dragon pitched towards Gansey and Blue. Ronan didn’t have to shout to his night horror. It knew what Ronan wanted. It wanted exactly what Ronan wanted. Save them.” The night horror had always “wanted exactly what Ronan wanted,” but it is only after Ronan realizes that he does not hate himself anymore, that the night horrors do not wish him harm.

The other dreamer, Kavinsky, does not get the self-acceptance arc that Ronan does. Ronan’s journey of self-acceptance quite literally saves his life when he tames the dream monsters that represented his self-hatred. The opposite happens with Kavinsky. Kavinsky shares both parts of Ronan’s identity that gave him so much shame and self-hatred: a gay teenage boy, who is also a dreamer. Kavinsky does not have a “I don’t” moment regarding his self-hatred, and while Ronan’s monster learn to obey him, Kavinsky’s monster (and perhaps his self-hatred) destroys him. As the two dream monsters combat, Ronan notices that Kavinsky is standing purposefully in the path of destruction. Ronan shouts to Kavinsky to get down, but “Kavinsky didn’t look away from the two creatures. He said, ‘The world’s a nightmare.’ A second later, the fire dragon exploded into him. It went straight through him, around him, flame around an object. Kavinsky fell. He crumpled to his knees and then slumped gracelessly off the car.” Ronan remarks that “Kavinsky was dead. But he had been dying since Ronan met him. They both had been.” Both characters started off in the same place: depressed, amazed yet terrified at their ability to bring things from their dreams, coping with alcohol and street racing, mired in self-hatred and internalized homophobia, but only one of the characters makes it out.

The opposite endings Ronan and Kavinsky receive show the dangers of not accepting yourself and warn us of the self-hatred that often comes with having a marginalized identity. This story is steeped in a magic: there’s dreamworlds and kings and nightmare monsters, but it is a story completely applicable to real life. Ronan also starts off wondering “what am I?” and worrying that the answer is a “creature.” This parallels how certain identities can make one a monster in the eyes of society. Thankfully, Ronan realizes that he is not a monster for either secret or for either piece of his identity.

When I read The Dream Thieves for the first time years ago, I was somewhere between my own “no, I didn’t” realization, but before my “I don’t” moment. I was so moved by Ronan’s story. After watching Ronan progress through The Dream Thieves, burdened by the secrets he will not admit and terrorized by the monsters of his own creation, we can rejoice when he tames his monsters, accepts himself, and realizes he does not deserve his hatred. I can only hope that young readers will look at how undeserving Ronan is of his self-loathing and how he unlearns it, and undertake that same journey themselves.

This story lays a roadmap for young readers to forgo the self-loathing they may feel at certain aspects of themselves. Reader can to find love and adoration for characters who have yet to find love for themselves, and in watching these characters find ways to accept shunned and monstrous parts of themselves, they can be encouraged to embark on their own journeys of banishing self-hared.

Perhaps this is why there are so many memorable stories of monsters being transformed by love and self-acceptance, such as the recent The Shape of Water and the enduring Beauty and the Beast. Regarding this last story, psychologist John Gressel P.h.D., says the story encourages us to “find the beauty in the beasts in our lives.” He tells readers to

“Think of some part of you or your life that you don't like, can't accept, wish were otherwise… some aspect of yourself or your circumstances that has you feeling trapped, that you hate, that you want to go away or to escape from. According to this tale… you must learn to love this very thing you currently hate... Until you do, you are trapped in this prison cell of not accepting yourself or your life as it is. It is only through this kind of self acceptance, genuine and complete, that… we can unite with this previously unacceptable feature of our lives and live happily ever after. This is when that which we despise is transformed into something beautiful.”

In Beauty and the Beast, the Beast is literally transformed by earning Belle’s true love. As Gressel points out, Beauty and the Beast – and I would argue Twilight and The Dream Thieves –encourage the reader to “learn to love [the] very thing you currently hate.” Monster stories geared towards young people, whether in classics from the 1800s or in modern Young Adult novels, are a great opportunity to warn young readers of the dangers of self-hatred and the power of loving and accepting yourself.

In The Dream Thieves, Ronan’s self-hatred is literally a threat against his life. His dreams are filled with monsters that hate him as much as he hates himself, and he has to contend with these monsters when he brings them into his waking life. After accepting his sexuality, his monsters – and his self-hatred – are transformed similarly to how Gressel describes the meaning of monster stories happening when something “we despise is transformed into something beautiful.”

#the dream thieves #monsters #monster theory #literature #the raven cycle #ronan lynch #beauty and the beast

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inaure-forhalla · 4 years ago

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because at this rate i will simply never have proper full written out bios for my muses, below the cut find some more detailed information about my muses that give you more info than just the vibey little blurbs i shat out at some ungodly hour of the day:

akllasqa mamani:

aklla is the daughter of a scientist that had all her titles stripped of her, and prohibited from working in the field after unethical experiments came to light. this doesn’t stop her from laying low and forming a personal lab, although under a watchful eye. she proceeds to learn and absorb all she can about genetic editing, and with the use of the CRISPR method and friends manning labs, she produces her own genetically edited egg. this is where aklla comes from, she’s planted in her mother’s womb and grows to be a girl who continues her life under a microscope. her mother is constantly poking and prodding at her, in a desperate attempt to note every deviation from regular behaviour from a girl who was tailored. aklla is diagnosed with anti social personality disorder in the future, and as a child is known to have conduct disorder. she’s been called a sociopath more times than she can count and is prone to sudden, and violent outbursts. all in all, a difficult teenager trying to maneuver through a society that works against anyone with any mental diagnosis.

jolene walsh:

honestly jolene’s the only one i have a full bio for, so because i’m lazy catch that here.

vivian han:

vivian grows up in a house that values tradition, and in particular the image of a good family. her parents are not overtly religious, but they’re devout christian’s. they got married young, and without much thought and this leads to strife in their household. they start to fall out of love right in front of her eyes, but old time tradition and religious beliefs compel them to stay together despite divorce being the healthiest option for them both. being the oldest daughter in the house, vivian often has to play peacekeeper between her parents fights. she grows weary of it, but knows her options are limited. the older she gets, the more time she spends outside of the house. parties where the music is so loud she can’t hear her thoughts, she drinks away whatever she’ll have to face when she gets home. vivian is the fun girl, and the smart girl, and the party girl, and she does whatever she can to keep up every front she has. straight a student, but beloved by her peers. and only because she tries so hard. sometimes that comes with a small mean streak to be accepted by her peers, but she grows out of that quickly. guilt wears on her conscience heavily. an unhealthy relationship is all she knows as she grows up and so it leads her into her own. she dates a boy who becomes her ruin, but she tolerates it because that’s all she knows. she tolerates it even when he pushes her against a wall and she’s worried she has a concussion. he never hits her, and that’s his excuse. she files a restraining order after much thought and push from her friends. but it only makes her wild nights even worse, she has more pain to drink away now.

gabriel and ronan:

two boys that were once part of the same band, now leading two completely different lives. gabriel has always had his head in the clouds, always dreamt of life as a musician. his parents could do little to stop what his heart wanted. as a kid he’d play in shows any chance he got at school, and even kick started his own garage band with his friends. he never wanted to be the star of the show, gabriel was more than happy in the background. and that’s how he becomes the bass player of Golden Ours. he grew up in a bustling house that knew nothing about love, and it’s what he puts out into the world. his energy comes from genuine joy, and the desire to spread kindness. he’s a humble star from humble beginnings, and does his best to not let fame get to his head. naturally, there are slip ups, ones he does his best to hide. but all in all, he makes for pleasant company. not much tragedy in this one, rather typical if you ask me.

ronan on the other hand grows up in completely different circumstances. the accident child of an alcoholic and a junkie, he never really knows stability in his life. his parents never have a good means to finances, and he picks up odd jobs as a kid to support himself if not his parents. he holds his father’s anger and defends himself after each bark and bite from his parents. he doesn’t grow up in a good house, and he doesn’t know if he likes them more when they’re sober or completely out of their minds. he swings a fist at this father at eighteen and is met with his ass on the curb. with little to nothing to his name, he sofa surfs as long as he can, gets himself jobs here and there, nothing that lasts too long. he comes across gabriel before the band hits the charts and it begins as roommates soon turned bandmates. he joins as lead guitarist. ronan’s one to butt heads with the band often, but at the end of the day, they’re family and family was meant to fight. but the disputes only heighten when ronan pushes them to take deals that come their way. change their look, change their sound, change change change for the mainstream media. they won’t take it, and so ronan does. leaves the band behind and embraces life as someone he doesn’t recognize in the mirror. he goes from alt indie rock to more mainstream pop rock. his manager decides what he wears, what he sings, what he signs up for. the money’s good, but he hates himself. but the money’s good.

mira deol:

mira lives a quiet life for the most part. second oldest daughter of five, their family is never without festivities. she’s a good student, not the top of her class, but trying. she sits in the middle of everything, never too loud, never too quiet. mira seems to breeze by life in the background and a part of her itches to be at the front of the show. she knows she’s not built for it, so instead she’ll smile and nod through it all. her life flips upside down, she becomes part of headlines when her family is killed at sixteen. in the middle of the night, the confront what they think to be a robber. her father and his broken english yelling downstairs, threatening to call the cops when a gun’s pulled out on them. mira, silent, watches from the top of the stairs while her entire family is sat down on the rug. one by one, they’re lined up and taken out with a single shot to the head. execution style. she scampers into a closet, and her hands search the dark floors for the gun she knows her dad has. and she sits there, as quiet as ever, hands shaking as she holds the gun in front of her. she thinks he’s left until she hears the creaks up the stairs and the closet door swings open. she closes her eyes and empties the bullets into her assailant without a second thought. mira’s found with blood, both her own and his, on her body. she hasn’t left the closet when they find her, a neighbour calls when they hear the last round of gunshots. her face takes the newspapers by storm and she’s a charity case. without any other family overseas, she moves in with her next door neighbours. a girl she knows from school. she suffers from traumatic mutism for a year. rehab and therapy get her to open up, and she cries anytime she speaks for another year. her life is spent in and out of therapy, and when she finally moves out and manages to get into university, she lives alone. everything about her life screams at her to live with company, but fear of what happens to company around her forces her into living alone. currently, mira is still healing. it’s been five years since her family’s death and she’s pushing herself back into society slowly. her emotions are hard to handle, and she’s incredibly clingy when she gets attached.

buster jones:

buster lives a comfortable life. his parents work good jobs and they don’t expect much from him. as the youngest of a trio of boys, he’s the family’s baby for most of his life and he milks it for all it’s worth. he spends most of his time gaming, eating, or hanging out with friends. never the best student, but he manages to pull through with the tutors his parents throw at him a countless number of times. he doesn’t tell them that he’s paid kids to do his homework and essays, they don’t need to know that. but when both brothers leave the house, grow old enough to make it out on their own, the attention turns back to buster. buster who does nothing for the family but eat half the contents of their fridge, which can no longer be excuse as the appetite of a growing boy. so his parents make him take up a job, any job, they tell him, and so he goes to work at a mcdonald’s. he reckons it’ll be the least amount of effort he’ll have to put in, and impossible to get fired from. plus, free fries anytime he so pleased. he’s working through his last year of highschool, projected to have to take a fifth year if summer courses fail him. when he makes it to college he takes up criminal justice. not with the dreams of being a lawyer like his mother so hopes, but with the dream of getting into the fbi. only because it looks cool on television and he swears they know everything about area 51, and the gps’ that babies are injected with. an avid reader of conspiracies that he spouts like his life depends on it, what he doesn’t have in book smart, he also doesn’t have much in street smart. how buster makes it through the day, everyone wonders. but somehow he does.

elena castillo:

she grows up doted on. an only child, given the world at her every whim. her father loves her, her mother loves her, but doesn’t have to love as much since her father takes care of that part. her father dies when she’s eight, and her mother doesn’t take it well. elena had shown various talents at a young age, and the one her mother hones in on is her ability to skate. never having taken professional figure skating, her mother says it’s time for her to try. she doesn’t protest much, knows just how pushy her mother can be. she’s a good child for the most part, prone to temper tantrums, but mother knows best. elena’s mother focuses all her energy on her daughter, and it becomes obsessive. like a pageant mom, she signs her up for every competition under the stars. elena is bound to win most of them, and that’s because her mother doesn’t let her rest until she gets her routine down pat. elena’s perfectionism is taught and forced down her throat, it doesn’t come naturally. it doesn’t take long for the girl to embrace that figure skating has become her life. pulled out of classes on a whim just to participate in competitions, she learns how to catch up with classwork quickly without disappointing her mother. she never admits it, but she seeks validation from the one parent she still has. thinks maybe she’ll gain the same love she got from her father if she does it right. elena is quick to snap as she grows older. becomes her biggest critique, and with it comes a sharp attitude that she’s quick to lash out onto others. she projects her own insecurities, and drags people down to bring herself up. she’s now a professional figure skater, one of the best of her age at twenty. but it didn’t come easy, and she’s not willing to give it up easy. in front of the cameras and the crews she waves and smiles. once the lights drop, so does the facade and she doesn’t bother to lift a finger for anyone she deems not worth her time. she becomes more like mother, and over the years, they become more like partners than mother and daughter. their relationship is never healthy.

luciana pereira: prev lucarus

has the sexiest bio it deserves a read here

imogen, willa, devna mini bios coming soon !

#( 𝚘𝚘𝚌 . ) happy shitposting day .#truly the closest thing to a bio we'll get for a while omg

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calamitousrpgarchive · 3 years ago

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Salutations, SAV you have found your way into the State of Calamity; the broken plain run by the lawless and the vicious. You have been granted passage to the corrupt world of Calamitous. As always, times ticking on your clock new blood…you have 48 HOURS to amass your wits and complete the CHECKLIST before what remains of your body ignites in a blistering haze of ash and smoke…

After all, it’s so easily broken…

and even easier to get lost…

In Character

Character Name: Ronan Reeves

Age: 26

Faceclaim: Samuel Larsen

Species: Werewolf

Additional Species Info: Lywayerer Pack

Role: Gamma

Faction/Side: Southside/Lupis

Usual Haunt/Frequented Location: Works at Lolita's (Hangout) as bartender/Frequently passes the time at Crescent Lake

Motivation(s): Once, a lifetime ago, adventure and excitement ruled Ronan's heart. He was a wild, rambunctious child, with edges a little too sharp and serrated for comfort. He feared little and laughed often and had a stubborn habit for refusing to look before he leaped. And, ultimately, this was his downfall: too fierce, too eager, too proud. Now, all Ronan wants is peace. A way out of the nightmare he so foolishly begged for. But, life isn't a fairy tale - he knows that. So he goes to work and he keeps his head down and minds his place in his pack, even if he chafes under the lawlessness of their leadership.

Why are they in Calamity: Growing up, Ronan had a fairly normal childhood. A mom, a dad, even a dog. He was wild and unruly and full of life, but he was loved. It wasn't until around age 15 that tragedy struck. An accident - a collapsed tunnel in their living quarters that buried both of his parents in an instant. Ronan hadn’t been home at the time, and while some saw that as a blessing, he could only think it a curse.

After that, Ronan was sent to live with his uncle Gerard - a strange, reclusive man who hadn't really been around that much when Ronan was younger. And for good reason, too - he'd been keeping a secret from his brother (Ronan's father): he was a werewolf. Not born, but bitten, many years prior.

It took months of living with Gerard for Ronan to catch on (his grief and apathy blinding him) and then years for him to finally confront the man. When he did, he demanded (begged) for the bite. He wanted to be himself again - to feel, in the primal way that animals do. Gerard refused, initially. Told Ronan he would regret it, that it wasn't going to take away the pain of losing his family, or bring back the person he used to be. Ronan insisted. Weeks turned to months and then to years and the relationship between nephew and uncle soured so severely that, in a fit of desperation to keep Ronan from doing something idiotic, Gerard finally relented and agreed. For quite awhile, the bite was everything Ronan had wanted. The first year was tough, sure, but his Uncle's pack (the Lywayerers) was there for him, even if they were.... just as weird as he was. He had a family, again. Power. A purpose. It was perfect.

Until the shine wore off. Until he noticed, really looked, how the Lywayerers operated - their ruthlessness. Their crazed ideologies. Their willingness to throw each other under the bus to save their own skin. Slowly, the people who had helped him transition were beginning to look down on him - for being too soft. Too weak for being unable to let go of the past, his "poor little tragedy." With his uncle usually unwilling or unable to shield him from the pack's ire, Ronan eventually became the pack's favorite whipping boy. For a while, his sense of self was all but erased. He lived only to please the pack, and that was like chasing his own reflection - futile and ultimately disappointing.

As soon as he was able, he got a job at Lolita's and then his own place. His role in the pack as Gamma (another odd punishment, serving only to highlight his supposed failures) was ceremonial, at best.

Bitter and exhausted, he tries to live for himself now, as much as possible. That looks different, day to day, but he's hoping eventually he can find a scrap of that ambitious, outgoing kid he used to be.

Wanted Connections: Having someone play Gerard, his uncle, would be really cool! They have a strained relationship, which is always fun to play out.

Descriptors/Traits: +Resilient, Kind, Generous / -Sensitive, Impulsive, Passive

Headcanons: 1.) Ronan is a plant person. He keeps his 3rd floor walk-up stuffed to the brim with both simple and exotic specimens. His balcony boasts an impressive selection of hanging pots and his entryway is slowly being overtaken by creeping vine. The greenery calms him and botany is a skill he picked up from his mother - one which he's determined to keep alive. 2.) What Ronan craves more than anything else in the world is acceptance. Belonging. A place to fit in. He's certainly not found that in his own pack, so in recent years he's been entertaining the idea of forsaking his bonds and defecting to another pack. He's told no one about this tenuous plan, but it lingers in the back of his mind every single day. 3.) Outside of his own pack, Ronan is pretty apathetic toward other Supernaturals. He doesn't hate or despise any one group or species, and generally goes by a "Live and let live" type of code.

Property/Business Ventures: Works at Lolita

#calamity.accepted

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saoirsetm · 4 years ago

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hey y’all ! i’m kat and we’re FINALLY opening ?!? i’m so hyped, you don’t even know. i’m a double leo Trying to survive video lectures in a noisy house who loves dark chocolate and 80% of the kpop releases so far this year ( stream feel good by fromis_9, it’s such a cute bop ! ) i’m also a cat mom to my almost fourteen year old babies who are still like energetic kittens, so ask for pics and you shall receive DSLKGJ but without further ado, here’s my girl who’s gonna prove that hindsight is INDEED 20/20, so this is gonna be fun:

✧ ˖ * ° ><> ╱ abigail cowen, cis female, she/her — look who’s fresh from the ferry, aren’t you SAOIRSE LEARY ? your eroda brochure says you’re TWENTY-THREE and that you’re currently residing in MARMOTON . your favourite tourist attraction to hang around is ERODIAN BEACH , and the locals around these ports would describe you as INQUISITIVE & INTREPID, STUBBORN & IMPULSIVE . your resting fish face really gives off LONG HAIR BLOWN BACK BY THE OCEAN BREEZE, LATE NIGHTS SPENT PLOTTING THE NEXT GREAT VOYAGE, RED LIPSTICK IMPRINTED ON A MUG OF TEA , and i’m a big fan of the VINTAGE CELTIC KNOT NECKLACE you seem to always be attached to. well, if you see the minister this morning; make sure you head on home as quick as possible, you never know what bad luck he could bring. ╱ ooc; kat, 23, she/her, ast.

tw: needles ( tattoo mention ), cancer mention, death mention

miss saoirse...... oof

GDFLSJL where do i begin with her honestly ??

full name is saoirse eve leary, affectionately called cece by her family since she was young and runs with it as her nickname !

born and raised in cork, ireland with two siblings, a working class father and Slightly upper middle class mother

her childhood wasn’t like, Majorly eventful; she was considered a bit of a tomboy which isn’t a surprise bc she’s always been a bit of a spirited, adventurous girl, has the odd nomadic moment strike her and loves to travel

had a SUPER close relationship with her maternal grandmother before she passed a few years back, still has a close one with her grandfather and paternal grandmother as they’re still living

is a big family girl overall, so much so that she’s eagerly awaiting the day she gets to be the cool aunt

had a decent cluster of pals over the years that’s likely dwindled due to everyone going their separate ways after high school

saoirse Did go to uni between her travels — and graduated — and has aspirations of becoming an anthropologist to explore other cultures and meet new people/understand them

which.. obviously ain’t happening now LFSGJGF rip

came to eroda partially bc it seems like such a pretty and quaint place, partially to explore its “ myth ” that you can never leave; her naturally curious ass questions the whole thing, at least in the sense that there’s no way to challenge your supposed fate on the island and won’t deny entertaining some conspiracy theories around the mystery

she still doesn’t understand that.. yeah, she Literally is stuck here for the rest of her life now, probably because she hasn’t made a Real attempt to put that to the test, but we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it FDSLKJDS

anyways she came here solo ( more than likely ) and has enjoyed her time getting to know the locals and other visitors, taking in the scenery, etc

probably took up a part-time job at sally’s tavern to cover her expenses since she lives in marmoton and it ought to be close enough for her to get to gfjlsdg

personality and everything else

a sociable, ( relatively ) fearless ginger with an eclectic taste in music and a profound appreciation for pastries..

despite being all about cleaner eating habits and lowering her sugar intake, she takes a cheat day or week wherever she can LSDGFJK

parties, game nights, etc, you name it ?? she’s there !

kinda competitive while we’re bringing up games and such, but she’s not about the whole sore winner/loser thing — rather she’ll groan and sulk a little before moving on

like i said before, loves to travel, loves pretty places in general so prepare yourself for an abundance of pictures on her insta feed of where she’s been or where she wants to go

loyal as hell, but she has her limit if you misuse the trust that comes with it

she’s just v wholesome and has a mix of small town city/endlessly curious energy with a sprinkle of being the life of the party……. kinda

however, she’s the most ?? hard to place person all the same

that feeling of freedom that comes with her exploring and all makes her a little hard to tie down; she doesn’t plan on staying in eroda ( which is unfortunate for her considering.... fglsdk ) as she has more to accomplish and see

very much does her own thing and doesn’t wanna hear any criticism for it

as if she’s that out of line DLJGDSLK but still

always wants to try new things, no matter how dumb they might be; except for anything that’s a Legitimate death sentence or is.. a GENUINELY dumb idea, she has enough common sense to know what Not to do KSGFDJDS

has little tattoos on her wrist and behind her left ear for her Favourite trips/symbols/whatever and her family, will let y’all know what they’d be whenever i figure them out since i’m so damn picky with these things

a Big supporter for buying/investing locally, has little trinkets and such to prove it

in fact, she has a collection of thrifted or vintage clothes from her travels and back home, and a chest full of cute jewelry she switches between daily

one piece she wears all the time — only parts with it when she sleeps — is the celtic knot pendant mentioned in her app that’s become something of an heirloom on her mom’s side of the family !

she has the cutest irish lilt in my mind, kinda the same as miss ronan’s and aisling bea’s

really loves her freckles, partially bc i love her freckles and my own :(

tea > coffee, but she loves coffee-flavoured things; bring her a peppermint or camomile tea as her shift winds down or.. idk, just because, and she’ll be forever indebted to you fldjgs

loves to hang out by the water in her free time — she loves the scent and sounds that comes with it, it’s one of the few places where she can put her mind to rest for a bit

the sound of rain hitting a rooftop is her perfect sleep soundtrack

kinda wants to adopt a pet, but doesn’t wanna leave them if she goes on an excursion where they can’t come with her :(

baths with epsom salts, candles that smell like lavender or something just as pleasant and calming, etc during a night in soothes the hell out of her soul

top three products she has in her bag at all times, besides personal info and her phone ? lip balm, a powder spf and mints FGLGKSD

btw.. miss ginger hair and freckles will probably gasp at anyone going out with no spf on them and scold tf out of them bc ‘ hello, melanoma ?? sunburn ?!? ’

wanted connections

childhood pal(s) she’s bumped into: reunited by chance, cece’s glad she has a couple of people she knows to keep her grounded when her mind runs wild at what Might happen when she decides to try her hand at leaving

cousin(s), other relatives: idk, figured it’d be fun for her to have a family member or two running around and not realizing the other relative is the Only one they’ll see in person from here on out

best pal(s) in eroda: someone she’s taken to since arriving, likely spending their free-time eating pastries on the beach, talking shit over tea, little market dates, going to the rainzone half-drunk and trying to rope each other into new things

opposites attract.. of sorts sfdlgkj: basically just a traveler meeting a local who’s never been off eroda, telling all about their ( quite limited ) excursions and bonding in other areas over time !

hook-ups, fwbs.... ENEMIES with benefits?? idk, point is the girl’s probably gotten laid since arriving, it’s all a matter of the situation that fits your muse(s) best FHGSDKJ

roommate: she lives in marmoton, likely in a rental of sorts, and i can’t see her living alone given the situation on the island ( though i’ve viewed her as the type to live alone in a space for one and a half people any other time tbh ). so she has just One and they make the arrangement work ! depending on their personalities and such, we’ll figure out how well they get along Exactly, if at all

ex ??: the girl’s bi so y’all can toss anyone at her for this one as well ! question marks bc i was thinking it’d be an on-and-off thing but maybe not come the time i post this intro LSGKD. basically they were seeing each other for a few months, she fell hard Quick/they moved kinda fast bc they were vibing and they would distance themselves upon realizing this — though i see cece giving them distance bc she knows they need it rather than needing it herself. if it IS on-and-off, they’re definitely off rn and treading lightly ( though she finds it hard to stray and hates things not being fully resolved no matter what happens ?? ), so all it’s a bit angsty regardless of how it goes dfgkljsdg

fellow mystery fiend: someone please fuel her curiosity to the max and try to crack the impossible case of eroda’s captive capabilities with her.. and proceed to watch true crime shows with her when that clearly goes to shit SDFKLJ

older sibling or mentor dynamic: someone to look out for her/teach her some things to help fully support herself/give her advice when she probably needs it most.. idk, i just like the idea of someone becoming a stand-in relative type of friend to her

just give her someone to confide in, to swim at night with, stargaze and all that cute shit, be it platonically or otherwise !

she’s not gonna click with everyone and that’s fine, BUT maybe they run in the same social circles and cece thinks they seem nice enough, but they never really talk amongst themselves ?? just a case of awkwardly starting from scratch and seeing where it takes us !

#eroda.intro #╰ ✨ . ❪ 𝐖𝐄 𝐏𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐈𝐍' 𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐃 𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐋𝐒 ↝ kat chats ｡#tw needles #tw cancer #tw death #i think?? that's all the triggers here?#i really hope it is anyways :/ i'm bad for spotting them sometimes when they're vague mentions #anyways FINALLY did it !!#now to make my theme even Remotely presentable in the next half hour GLDFJS

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behappykeepclassy · 5 years ago

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LOVER Track-by-track Impressions

1. I Forgot That You Existed

catchy AF with the da-da-da in the beginning

“Free rent, living in my mind”

love how she sings “and quieeeetttt”

“It isn’t love, it isn’t hate, it’s just indifference”

“I forgot that you sent me a clear message, taught me some hard lessons”

The “So, yeah” at the end is gold, like vocally shrugging

2. Cruel Summer

Pure BOP!

Feeling that bass in my soul

“I’m always waiting for you to be waiting below” - 80s John Hughes movie style!

“Devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes” is perfect

The whole chorus floats and soars and I love it so much

“You say that we’ll just screw it up in these trying times, we’re not trying” - SUCH A GOOD LINE

“So cut the headlights, summer’s knife, I’m always waiting for you just to cut to the bone” Ouf!

“I don’t wanna keep secrets just to keep you”

The raspy roar in her voice when she sings “He looks up, grinning like a devil”

3. Lover

Quiet and precious and sweet and lovely and cozy

So happy we have an album with a title song again

4. The Man

“They’d say I played the field before i found someone to commit to”

“Every conquest I had made would make me more of a boss to you”

“I’m so sick of running as fast as I can, wondering if I’d get there quicker if I was a man” - MY MOTTO FROM NOW ON, just running through my head constantly

“What I was wearing, if I was rude” - I feel like this also doubles for her sexual assault case against that radio DJ (blaming the victim)

“I’d be just like Leo in Saint-Tropez” LOL

The whole bridge, when she switches from “And getting bitches and models” to “If I was out flashing my dollars, I’d be a bitch not a baller” OUF

MY INHERENT FEMALE ANGER AT THE INJUSTICE OF THE PATRIARCHY IS ALIVE AND WELL

5. The Archer

This is one of my favourites, even though I’ve had it longer than most cause it was released earlier

Lyrically, best or second best on the album

Destroys me every time, goddamnit

6. I Think He Knows

“I am an architect, I’m drawing up the plans”

I love how she sings “skipping down 16th avenue”, like so specific and wonderful but universal

I like how she owns how much of a catch she herself is in the second verse - like yassss girl

“Lyrical smile, indigo eyes, hand on my thigh, we can follow the sparks (SPARKS FLYYYYYYYY), I’ll smile”

7. Miss Americana & The Heartbreak Prince

The way it starts, it made me think of The Killers “Well somebody told me that you had a boyfriend who looked like a girlfriend…”

“American glory faded before me” - her fall from the spotlight

“I saw the scoreboard and ran for my life” - hiding away from media and everyone

I like how she incorporates the “OKAY” school chant in the background of the chorus

This has a lot of “I Know Places” vibes, especially second verse

The switch in the bridge from “And I don’t want you to (Go), I don’t really wanna (Fight), ‘Cause nobody’s gonna (Win)” to “And I’ll never let you (Go), ‘Cause I know this is a (Fight),” That somebody we’re gonna (Win)”

Wish she’d held the the last note that she started before entering back into final chorus (it sounded like it was going to go on longer

8. Paper Rings

Makes me think of the happiness of “Stay, Stay, Stay” with a dash of “Holy Ground” energy

Easily one of my faves

Jack Antonoff counting us into the chorus, just love him

Just such fun, every lyric and beat

“I like shiny things but I’d marry you with paper rings” and “I hate accidents except when we went from friends to this” SO CUTE

“Honey, without all the exes, fights, and flaws, we wouldn’t be standing here so tall” - so mature and wonderful and she’s so happy now!

I love that she brings it up an octave starting at the bridge and into the final chorus

I can’t help but smile listening to this over and over again

Like, I want Lover as my wedding song and Paper Rings as a choreographed 20s swing dance with my future husband

9. Cornelia Street

Hit me the second time more than the first, like wow I actually love this

“‘I rent a place on Cornelia Street,’ I say casually in the car” CUTEEEEE

“That’s the kinda heartbreak time could never mend, I’d never walk Cornelia Street again”

Second half of the chorus makes me think of Dress

“Windows swung right open, autumn air, jacket ‘round my shoulders is yours” - ALL TOO WELL callback

“Back when we were card sharks, playing games, I thought you were leading me one, I packed my bags, left Cornelia Street before you even knew I was gone” - makes me think of when she sings “If I had known what I know now, I never would have played so nonchalant” in Come Back, Be Here

“Barefoot in the kitchen” - makes me think of All Too Well “dancing in the refrigerator light”

I also think Cornelia Street doubles for love itself, like this is it for her, this is the one big love for her and there won’t be another so she wants to get it right and keep it safe

10. Death By A Thousand Cuts

Ignore the lyrics and you almost think it’s a happy song (classic Jack Antonoff Bleachers thing to do)

“I look through the windows of this love, even though we boarded them up, chandelier still flickering here” - brilliant

THE PIANOOOOOOOOOOOOO (very Bleachers ‘Wild Heart’ outro)

She goes from “We were a fresh page on the desk, filling in the blanks as we go” in Cornelia Street to “But if the story’s over, why am I still writing pages?” in Death By A Thousand Cuts, and that kills me

“My heart, my hips, my body, my love, Tryna find a part of me that you didn’t touch”

“Our songs, our films, united, we stand, our country, guess it was a lawless land”

“Why are my fears at the touch of your hands? Paper cut stains from my paper-thin plans” - some of the best lyrics on the album right there, IMO

“My time, my wine, my sprit, my trust, Tryna find a part of me you didn’t take up” - this destroyed me more than I thought it would because it was so unexpected and raw, especially the second half of the line, like she’s realizing that he took too much and it hurts but it wasn’t good to lose herself like that

11. London Boy

Is the voice talking in the beginning Idris Elba?

“They say home is where the heart is, But that’s not where mine lives” - she says the second half like a secret she’s sharing with us over wine

Gotta go back to London STAT

“Doesn’t have to be Louis V up on Bond Street” LOL fancy baller line

12. Soon You’ll Get Better

This and The Archer are the two songs I cried during, just gutted

“The buttons of my coat were tangled in my hair” - how we think of the mundane things when the worst things are happening to try and distract ourselves

“Holy orange bottles, each night, I pray to you” - I don’t know what to say

“…’Cause you have to”

I love that the Dixie Chicks are lightly assisting the chorus without taking the song away from Taylor and its focus

The bridge and pre-final-chorus have me crying the most and I don’t know what to do

This remind me a lot of Ronan mixed with Never Grow Up and Fleetwood Mac’s Landslide

13. False God

Sax is a bit like the sax in Bleachers’ Everybody Lost Somebody (not complaining at all)

“We were stupid to jump in the ocean separating us

I get Dress sexy vibes from this (“The altar is my hips”)

The feathery way she sings the second “this loooovee)

Reminds me of “So It Goes…”

14. You Need to Calm Down

Still a bop, and always will be a bop - just so fun

15. Afterglow

I like that she owns up to her mistakes and destructive tendency

Makes me think of the Lover lyric “And I’m highly suspicious that everyone who sees you wants you” and in the music video it’s her jealousy that leads to a fight

“Fighting with a true love is boxing with no gloves”

“I lived like an island, punished you in silence”

16. ME!

Lyrically and musically, exactly like what happened with Look What You Made Me Do and Reputation - almost like a red herring to put us off the sonic trail of her album until single 2 came out

17. It’s Nice To Have a Friend

We get a story again! I’ve missed story song! (think Mary’s Song and Everything Has Changed mixed together)

Lovely chill indie vibes

“Something gave you the nerve to touch my hand”

Love me some trumpet

“Church bells ring, carry me home” (like third verse of Mary’s Song)

“Rice on the ground looks like snow” - poetic cute

18. Daylight

“My love was a cruel as the cities I lived in, everyone looked worse in the light” - like Cruel Summer and Getaway Car and even Back to December, she wanted something and got it, only find it wasn’t what she wanted and she ended up hurting someone in the process

Chorus makes me think of You Are in Love floating synth

“I wounded the good and I trusted the wicked” (Back to December, Getaway Car, I Knew You Were Trouble)

“Clearing the air, I breathed in the smoke” harkens back to The Archer’s “The room is on fire, invisible smoke”

“Threw out our cloaks and our daggers because it’s morning now” - she no longer needs I Know Places, no fear or hiding

“I once believe love would be (Black and white) But it’s (Golden) […] I once believed love would be (Burning red) But it’s golden” - Burning red calls back to Red (duh!), Golden calls back to Dress “Made your mark on me, a golden tattoo”, End Game “It’s like your eyes are liquor, it’s like your body is gold”, So It Goes… “Gold cage, hostage to my feelings” and Dancing With Our Hands Tied “Deep blue, but you painted me golden”

“You gotta step into the daylight and let it go” - remind me of the poem The Trick to Holding On that she wrote for Vogue (“The trick to holding on Was all that letting go”)

The talking outro is very Jack Antonoff/Bleachers’ Strange Desire, cause he threads introspective talking throughout, especially when she says “I wanna be defined by the things that I love” and he sings “I wanna be grateful for the experiences that I’ve had” in You’re Still a Mystery

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crimeronan · 5 years ago

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okay that last post i reblogged got me thinking hear me out

where’s my AU where ronan and blue are friends first before meeting any of the others and ronan doesn’t go to aglionby but lives in henrietta with the same wild family history and vaguely similar complications and he and blue started hanging out because after niall lynch died he had to stop homeschooling and go to public school and he was the absolute fucking worst and she assumed he was an asshole and stayed away from him until they bonded over. idk. holding chainsaw probably.

i’m rereading the series now and ronan letting blue hold chainsaw is the first non-antagonistic friendship moment they share and it warms me

flash forward to they’re friends somehow i’m not writing out this whole slow burn this is already a longer text post than it was supposed to be

this DOUCHEBAG comes into nino’s with his two much prettier friends one of whom is elegant one of whom is smudgy and shy and blue is kind of fascinated by them but like. with visceral disgust for cell phone boy

probably the “i am not a prostitute” thing goes down how it usually does and afterward adam catches blue’s attention and apologizes like he does and she gives him her number

and naturally ronan’s hanging out at 300 fox way when she gets back because he had to get over the whole “i’m catholic and y’all are serving satan i guess” thing way faster with blue being his sole friend in the universe besides matthew

blue’s like you are not going to BELIEVE. what HAPPENED to me tonight

ronan’s like do you want me to kill that guy for you. because it sounds like he sucks and i will totally kill that guy for you

(ronan could not care less about blue’s principles or her poverty feelings but LORD does he want to fistfight an aglionby douchebag he’s frothing at the mouth about it)

the moral of this story is ronan’s also hanging out at 300 fox way with blue when gansey shows up for his reading and there’s all the tension and conflict and then ronan’s eyeing adam and gansey up and down all sharp and menacing like usual but he’s also like. way too alive. way too awake and keyed up

blue cannot BELIEVE she’s being ABANDONED like this. she’s going to kill ronan. she drags him into the reading room before anyone goes in there and slams the door shut and hisses “which of them do you think is hot”

ronan’s like “i DON’T. i just want to break their noses probably. fistfight. spill some blood spit out some teeth. roll across the ground in a tangle of frenzied limbs and fury”

blue’s going to lose her entire fucking mind

(the real answer is both of them. ronan thinks both of them are hot. blue unfortunately thinks both of them are hot too but in gansey’s case it’s GENUINELY in a way where it makes her want to pull out his entrails whereas ronan’s violent desires are. slightly more questionable)

#ronsey #bluesey #pynch #bladam #this got away from me so it's getting all the ship tags i guess #i don't know how this happened i literally intended this to be a 4 line au concept #but okay #trc

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chicagocityofclans · 4 years ago

Photo

Simon Lee Weyden → Luke Mitchell→ Warlock

→ Basic Information

Age: 78

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Straight/Aromantic

Powers: Tantric Manipulation

Birthday: May 28th

Zodiac Sign: Gemini

Religion: Agnostic

Mark: Weyden

Generation: 10th

→ His Personality

One might think that Simon would be a wild child given his powers, but he is the opposite. He is more than happy to find someone to crawl into bed with him, but one of the things he really enjoys is a long conversation afterwards. He understands that his own kind don’t trust Tantric Manipulators, but he is happy with who and what he is. Once he is friends with someone, he will do anything to help them and watch out for them. On the other side of the coin, if someone does something to wrong him or someone that he cares about, Simon is not against holding a grudge and dealing with the person himself. He has the unfortunate tendency to find the wrong people to feed from and it has gotten him into trouble, making him very cautious when it comes to using his powers.

→ His Personal Facts

Occupation: Genetic Counselor and Mark Keeper (In Training)

Scars: Multiple

Tattoos: Multiple

Two Likes: Tradition and Supernatural Folklore

Two Dislikes: Santa Claus and Rejection

Two Fears: Death from Teleportation and Poverty

Two Hobbies: Genealogy and Having Intellectual Conversations

Three Positive Traits: Peaceful, Enchanting, Giving

Three Negative Traits: Unlucky, Restrained, Guarded

→ His Connections

Parent Names:

Alvin Weyden IV (Father): Simon was closer to his father than anyone else in his family. He was the only one that did not seem disappointed that he was a tantric manipulator. His father is the one who taught him that he could be more than a typical sex phanatic and sent him to mentor with Ronan Cleirigh; who is immuned to his power. Simon is secretly mentoring Curses with Kady Gaines with Ronan’s permission until he is ready to start working on his powers.

Patrica Weyden (Mother): Patrica has never loved him. Simon has come to terms with his mother never loving him and he has nothing to prove to her. It is sad how much his father loves the evil woman that is Simon’s mother; they deserve better.

Sibling Names:

Hollens Weyden (Brother): Simon hates Hollens.

Cynthia Weyden (Sister): Cynthia takes after their mother. As soon as she seen Patrica’s dislike in Simon, Cynthia pulled away from him. Now she only reaches out when she needs something or whenever she is in trouble.

Curtis Jules Weyden II (Brother): Curtis is the only sibling that does not hate Simon and Simon does not hate him in return. Curtis has been talking about joining him in Chicago to get away from their mother.

Children Names:

None

Romantic Connections:

Fiona ‘Fi’ Marz (Interested): Simon enjoys probing Fiona’s mind and their conversations together. Simon is interested in her and he is sure Fiona is interested in him. He plans on asking her out sooner rather than later.

Platonic Connections:

Kady Gaines (Mentor): Simon is more interested in curses than he is his powers. Ronan has allowed him to mentor with Kady and she has accepted him with wide open arms. Kady isn’t afraid of his powers and that alone is enough for Simon to respect her and give her his full on trust.

Ronan Cleirgh (Future Mentor): Simon is supposed to be menteeing with Ronan. However, after a week together, Ronan noticed Simon's interest in curses and sent him to mentor under his former mentee Kady. Simon promised to return after he had his fills and Ronan agreed to keep their agreement a secret.

Minsky Edison (Future Future Mentor): Simon is hoping to get Minsky’s help with Subliminal Seduction when the time comes and returning to either Ronan or Kady. Minsky has already agreed, however, nothing is set in stone due to Minsky unpredictable powers and its link to randomly dying.

Kenneth McStevens (Best Friend): Ken found Simon. The 402 year old attached himself to Simon, wanting to feed off of him to see what would happen as the first Tantric user Ken has ever met. It was the most horrific experience/experiment in Simon's life. The tragic accident formed an unbreakable bond between them.

Sada Warren (Friend): Sada and Simon are both mentoring under Kady. They don’t share the same friend group since Simon prefers vampires but they both have potential when it comes to curses and practice together all the time.

Sid Velanica (Friend): Sid is Sada’s boyfriend and is always around. The two became quick friends with each other after Sid agreed to be Simon and Sada guinea pig. Simon always takes Sid out for drinks afterwards for being a camper.

Ryan Cleirigh (Friend): Ryan and Simon met at Ronan house during his first week in Chicago. Ryan showed him around and made a few introductions to people Simon should know. Ryan is the one who first brought him to the Underground.

Scorpius Getta (Friend): Getta laughed and gave Simon an open pass Underground when he found out he was a Tantric Manipulator. Simon was unsure at first but noticed the vampires were more accepting of him then his own kind.

Raphael Caron (Friend): Raphael had asked him randomly to attend a bowling tournament one night while Simon was out drinking with a few other vampires at Cryptic. They quickly formed a friendship and Simon goes to all his games.

Aleksander Mazur (Friendly): Aleksander is very protective of everyone Underground and Simon completely understands. They started to form somewhat of a friendship after Simon threw a nasty curse at a young Stone hunter instigating a fight with a fledgling. Aleksander approval has made a lot of the other vampires more relaxed and willing to interact with Simon too.

Aisling Rois (Friendly): Simon would never disrespect anyone but most especially the person who mixes his favorite drink. Aisling is really nice and different compared to all of the other vampires located Underground.

Sven (Acquaintance): Sven was sent to check him out after Getta extended an open invitation to him. All Simon can get out of Sven are pleasantries.

Ashley Malone (Distance Cousin): Simon is sure Ashley knows nothing about him or his side of the family since her mother was kicked out and disowned, by distant witch Weydens, for following in love and eventually marrying a Sookram warlock. Simon wants to reach out to Ashley but does not know how he will be received.

Hostile Connections:

Audo Wilhelm (Annoyance): Audo has been standoffish to him since he walked into Ronan’s door. Simon is unsure whether it is because he is a Weyden or because of his powers. He can barely tolerate the asshole.

Unknown Human Shifter (Unsure/Scared): A few years ago Simon received an email inquiring about him possibly using his powers to seduce or bind the will of a hunter. Simon thought it was a joke until he was cornered at knife point by a human shifter and asked again. It is clear to him that they used and discarded the face since he has tried for years to find them without luck. The email had mysteriously disappeared from his email too. Simon is unsure if he should share this information with anyone.

Pets:

Cancer Puppy (Maltese): Simon recently adopted a dying puppy he could practice nonlethal curses on. However, the little puppy has grown on him and Simon is thinking of trying to cure the puppy instead or killing it and getting a willing necromancer to bring it back ‘newer and better’ for whatever price.

→ History (paragraph(s) on background) → The Present (paragraph(s) on how the character connects to the plot)

→ Available Gif Hunts (we do not own these)

[1][2][3][4]

#Simon Lee Weyden #open #OMWR #OM #OWR

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johannesviii · 5 years ago

Text

Top 10 Personal Favorite Hit Songs from 2019

The last list, for now. It’s been a wild ride.

Not the best of these lists, but some really refreshing stuff charted that year, and what was good was super good. And also, here’s a barely elligible #1 that nobody seemed to care about for some reason.

Disclaimers:

Keep in mind I’m using both the year-end top 100 lists from the US and from France while making these top 10 things. There’s songs in English that charted in my country way higher than they did in their home countries, or even earlier or later, so that might get surprising at times.

Of course there will be stuff in French. We suck. I know. It’s my list. Deal with it.

My musical tastes have always been terrible and I’m not a critic, just a listener and an idiot.

I have sound to color synesthesia which justifies nothing but might explain why I have trouble describing some songs in other terms than visual ones.

In 2019, my finger was fixed, I dropkicked depression in the garbage bin (with a little help from Eurovision because it was super good and full of hilarious shit), got married, and went on a roadtrip on Vancouver Island (BC, Canada), and that was my first real travel in 13 years. Met a lot of great people, seen amazing places, trees, bears and whales. And planes are also part of the adventure when you’re not used to them (you can watch movies on little screens from your seat now?? I had no idea. I watched so many movies). It was very exciting.

I also saw VNV Nation live in February, for the third time in six years. This time I had enough budget to buy a tshirt. I wasn’t expecting that concert to be even better than the previous two. At that point the new album had only been out for a couple of months and we still knew the lyrics of most of the new songs and Ronan’s face was constantly broadcasting a kind of “...........how” expression (face it guys, we like you. A lot). And they finished with All Of Our Sins and let me tell you, half the club was ready to start a revolution by the time that was over. Super intense.

Ok. 2019 albums! First, let’s talk about some negative things. Coldplay released Everyday Life at the end of the year. It was... uh. It was basically how I stopped loving their new stuff. That’s a very sad conclusion (for now) to this saga. This is exactly what I feared would have happened after Viva La Vida, aka them trying to go back to their earlier sound - except in the meantime we’ve got three fantastic albums with songs full of energy and joy. So I’m not too mad about this, just disappointed.

Within Temptation released Resist, and it wasn’t very good either, but I appreciated the general aesthetic of it. More SF-themed albums in symphonic metal, please. NF released The Search and while I’m still not a fan there’s a song on it that would have been #1 on this list if it had been elligible, so that’s something. And Carly Rae Jepsen released Dedicated and it was super good so why isn’t she getting new hits. Why. It feels unfair. Oh, and Avantasia made Moonglow and that’s the first time I’ve cared about their stuff in like a decade or so. Ghost In The Moon is super good, check it out.

But the big event of the year music-wise, as far as I’m concerned, was the return of two bands I thought we had lost forever. Of course My Chemical Romance reformed, but they don’t have new music yet, so the main event for this post is the return of Tool with Fear Inoculum. It’s not even their best album, but having a pretty good new Tool album in the year of our lord 2019 wasn’t at all something I was counting on. Of course, the hardcore fans are still as insufferable as ever (insert the “you need a pretty high IQ” copypasta here), but it didn’t spoil my enjoyment of it. Come on! Their first album in 13 years! 80 minutes of hypnotic heavy rhythms and weird shit, an album that trolled me when I opened it by playing a music video while I was looking somewhere else (yeah I jumped), and they even managed to land a track for one week on the US hot 100! Again, Tool! On the hot 100! in 2019! Unbelievable. Are we starting to return to the good timeline? I certainly hope so.

Unelligible songs, now. The Search by NF would have topped this list super easily. Might be one of the songs I listened to the most in 2019, actually. Now That I Found You by Carly Rae Jepsen, again, should have been a hit, and I beg you to watch this music video if you’ve never seen it. The 1975 released the super unexpected People, which was still good, and also Frail State of Mind. And most unexpected of all, three artists I didn’t care about at all teamed up and made absolute gold: I Think I’m OKAY, by Machine Gun Kelly, YUNGBLUD and Travis Barker. That would have been the second slot on this list if it had been elligible. Or maybe the first, even? Not sure. I’m just so happy this kind of angry but uplifting music is starting to become popular again. I just love everything about this song.

Here’s a short list of honorable mentions!

Roi (Bilal Hassani) - I don’t like this song a lot, but I do like it, I’m glad it was our song for the ESC 2019, and Bilal is a very nice and endearing person, and everyone who disrespects him on twitter is free to come fight me in the pit, where I’m still waiting with that tambourine from my 1992 list.

Con Calma (Daddy Yankee, Katy Perry, Snow) - You already know I liked the original Informer a lot, so I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t pleased to hear this clone of it on the radio.

Breathin’ (Ariana Grande) - Here’s the usual “if I had better taste this would be higher” honorable mention.

Summer Days (Martin Garrix) - In the absence of any new hit song from Macklemore this will do in a pinch.

Circles (Post Malone) - The fact that everyone seems to adore this and I’m over there saying “it’s ok I guess” probably means I will never love Post Malone nor understand the hype about him, and that’s okay, I can live with that.

High Hopes (Panic! At the Disco) - Still elligible. Still good but too borderline annoying to make the list.

How Do You Sleep (Sam Smith) - This year Sam Smith pulled a Viva La Vida and decided to stop making boring music all of a sudden and I’m LIVING FOR THIS. I certainly hope they continue in that direction.

And now, the list.

10 - La Grenade (Clara Luciani)

US: Not on the list / FR: #55

The only semi-filler on the list. I still like it a lot. Don’t have anything to say about it, though.

9 - Panini (Lil Nas X)

US: #40 / FR: Not on the list

Wasn’t too impressed by this at first and it took a while to grow on me, but the chorus is a nice little earworm, and “hey panini, don’t you be a meanie” has a tendency to pop in my head when I read hateful comments on the internet now. And Lil Nas X is just too endearing to be ignored. We’re so lucky to have someone who became famous so quickly and instantly decided to dress like a Jojo character and have the geekiest music videos possible and still be super nice and humble. We don’t deserve this guy.

8 - Dance Monkey (Tones And I)

US: Not on the list / FR: #6

I’m super glad the US are finally getting on the hype train in 2020 because this is a ton of fun. If the voice was juuuuuust a little less grating this would be even higher. Impossible to get it out of your head and somehow in this case that’s a good thing.

7 - Dancing With a Stranger (Sam Smith & Normani)

US: #14 / FR: Not on the list

As I said in the honorable mentions, Sam Smith pulled a Viva La Vida and decided to stop making boring music all of a sudden and I couldn’t be happier about that. This song is still a bit too calm for my taste most of the time, but when I’m in the right mood, it’s just fantastic.

Again, I hope Sam Smith continues in that direction, because if you had told me a couple of years ago that I would start to like their stuff one day, I would have laughed out loud.

6 - Bad Guy (Billie Eilish)

US: #4 / FR: #16

Duh.

I’m not as enthusiastic about When The Party’s Over as a ton of people are, mostly because, well, it’s a slow emotional song with little to no colour in it and by now you’re already aware I tend to have next to zero interest in that kind of songs. Bad Guy, on the other hand, is half hilarious half scary in equal doses, and even if I’m not super fond of the weird outro, it’s still a fantastic, weird as shit song, and I’m really glad Billie Eilish exists. Can’t wait to see where she goes from there.

I’m super glad this song didn’t come out when I was a teenager myself though. Come to think of it, I’m not sure I would have survived if the musical landscape from 16 years ago had been as depressed as it currently is. Thank god music is slowly getting more energetic again in 2020. Let’s stay on that track.

5 - Hey Look Ma I Made It (Panic! At The Disco)

US: #61 / FR: Not on the list

I follow several music critics on youtube and over the course of 2019, I’ve seen undiluted vitriol and hatred against this song (Spectrum Pulse even made a list of his “worst hit songs” of the decade and put this one at #10! TEN!!). And... I don’t really get where it’s coming from? Maybe I’m too literal-minded to see what the problem is with a sarcastic song saying “look I sold out and now I found success again! And it’s not that great!”. I just think it’s a lot of fun. Thank god Todd put it on his best list, at least we can agree on one thing for once.

It is hilarious that after putting so many Fall Out Boy songs on my lists, the one that I love the most from Panic! is the sellout song. Not sure why this was huge while the even better Say Amen wasn’t, though.

4 - Sunflower (Swae Lee & Post Malone)

US: #2 / FR: Not on the list

I usually don’t get the “chill” songs that tend to be successful these days but this one, unlike most Post Malone songs (bar Circles), has lovely pastel colors and a cloudy texture and it’s a really good vibe. It took several months to grow on me but it sure did.

In about ten years, people will listen to Sunflower and be submerged by nostalgia, mark my words.

3 - Old Town Road (Lil Nas X)

US: #1 / FR: #1 (see, everyone agrees for once)

Everyone on the planet already wrote a thinkpiece about this song and yet I’ve only seen maybe one out of five mentioning, just in passing, that the entire song is based on a Nine Inch Nail track from Ghosts I-IV, superbly re-used to make a weird and insanely catchy country hip hop song out of it. Ghosts has been one of my go-to albums to listen to while I’m painting for about ten years now. I’m saying all this because hearing a track from Ghosts on the radio for months was absolute bliss for me, especially in a new and improved version.

Thank you Lil Nas X for everything you’ve been doing and I wish you a long and successful career. You deserve it. I love this and I love you.

2 - Bury A Friend (Billie Eilish)

US: #73 / FR: Not on the list

Hello again, Billie Eilish.

This song is absolutely terrifying and that was before I even saw the music video. This is the soundtrack of your nightmares right there. I’m not even sure it deserves to be so high on the list, but frankly I’m too terrified to care. Maybe Old Town Road should be higher. I don’t know.

Also you have to know that when I’m super tired I go into echolalia mode and automatically repeat words or entire sentences that my brain considers interesting, like “potiron” (pumpkin) or “dramatique” ; and recently, my brain decided “when we all fall asleep, where do we go?”, sung exactly like it’s sung in this song, was its new favorite sentence. So. Hearing yourself saying that to an empty room while you’re drawing or folding clothes or cleaning plates is not a very pleasant experience, and it makes this song extra scary to me.

And now, here’s the last #1 of the last one of these lists (for now), and I’m glad to announce it closes this series of posts in a super fitting way.

Check this out. It’s so perfect in every way.

1 - Walk Me Home (Pink)

US: #99 / FR: Not on the list

Nobody seemed to care about this song over the course of 2019, and it's barely elligible, and I still have no idea why. The music reviewers I follow only either talked about it super briefly when it came out, or not at all. The rare ones who were making top 100s at the end of the year instead of top 10s usually put it somewhere in the middle of their lists. And yet it’s the elligible song I’ve listened to the most.

If you’ve been reading this series of posts for a while now, you probably already know exactly why it’s here, but here’s a quick recap.

The second album I ever bought in my life was Pink’s Missundaztood in 2002, and I loved her music a lot:

I was still really fond of her stuff in 2007:

Then she started to become less interesting and I basically ignored her apart from a brief blip on my radar in 2017:

Meanwhile, in 2012, fun. made some of the best songs of the entire decade before vanishing instantly, and I’ve been mourning them ever since:

And in the middle of last year, here I am, listening to the radio, and suddenly I hear something that sounds exactly like a fun. song, except I’ve never heard it before and it’s sung by a female singer, and, most importantly, it’s 2019 and fun. broke up more than six years earlier. And I’m like, what’s going on. This is so good. What the hell. What is this.

And I hear it a second time weeks later, and I google it, and I discovered that 1) it was Pink singing this, which made it my favorite Pink song in literally more than ten years, and 2) it was, indeed, written by one of the guys from fun., among other people who’s influence is less obvious.

I guess the main lesson from 2019, between newcomers making great music based on dead trends, old groups reforming, and this song, is that nothing’s gone forever, and things you used to enjoy can come back at the most unexpected time and in the most unexpected form.

There’s always, always gonna be new music to love, and it’s just a question of time.

Quick note

And with this, these lists are over... for now.

I don’t regret making them even if they were a ton of work, because that was super useful for a lot of different reasons.

They helped me get a better understanding of my own life’s chronology. That may sound stupid but I tend to link events to the music I was listening to at the time, and putting all that music in chronological order helped a lot.

I rediscovered a ton of songs I had completely forgotten about, and a lot of new ones. My playlist is much richer now and I’m happy about that.

I also discovered a few artists I knew nothing about.

It forced me to analyse two depressive episodes in my life and just because everything was now in exact chronological order, it accidentally helped me pinpoint what caused both of them. Better and cheaper than therapy. Impressive.

It made me realise how important some bands and artists had been in my life, and I relistened to some of their catalogue while making these lists. For some it was really obvious (Indochine, Placebo, Mylène Farmer, My Chemical Romance among some others), and for some others (Moby, Linkin Park, Mika in particular), it was a real surprise.

It made me realise that Placebo might have been huge in France but weirdly enough not that huge in the UK nor in the US. It’s especially striking when you look at their wikipedia page in English then in French and realise how detailed the French one is compared to the English one. Can’t believe Sleeping With Ghosts was a n°1 album here and basically nowhere else. That was the band where that discrepency was the most obvious but it wasn’t the only one like that. Really puts stuff in perspective.

It also helped me realise how cyclical popular music is. 1) trends tend to die near the end of every decade and the worst year is usually somewhere between the 8th and the 9th year. 2008 and 2018 tend to confirm this. 2) For the same reason, some new & interesting stuff appears at the beginning of every decade, and reaches its high point of quality between the 2nd and 4th year of the decade. 3) Basically I’m saying we’ve now passed the lowest musical quality in recent memory and 2022-2023 will have some exceptional music.

See you in December 2020. I have no doubt there’s a ton of great music coming up in the near future.

#Johannes’ bad not good pretty terrible music lists #music #long post #the last one #I can't believe this is over #I loved making these lists #spider tw #eye contact tw

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screamingatanemptyroom · 5 years ago

Text

I Can’t Eat Love pt 4

Here is part 4 guys!

Also, I worried about this, since I’ve posted it in such a piecemeal fashion that it might be a little confusing. Let me clarify the timeline just a little:

After the first scene in part 1, where the engagement is broken, the story goes back 3 years to when Lenora first wakes up in her second life. So all the parts I’ve written since have been in the second lifetime, leading up to that scene. (In case you’ve wondered, getting to the broken engagement won’t be the end! Seeing how she prepared for that moment will set the stage for the fallout after the engagement is broken).

Anyways, hopefully it has made sense so far, and thank you for all the positive feedback on this story so far!

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 linked here

_______________________________

“Your Highness.”

I plastered a polite smile on my face, performing a perfect curtsy, but all the while my mind was racing, desperately trying to figure out how long he had been there, how much he had heard.

Even if I was planning to let the engagement be broken up like last time, I needed the three years to get my family back on track financially before that happened. If we broke up too soon… the debtors would come calling and my life would end very much like the first.

Fortunately, Ronan didn’t seem upset or angry, he looked more bored than anything.

I let out a silent sigh of relief. He must not have heard the “temperamental child” comment I had made to my father. I wasn’t too concerned If he had heard my blatant lies about the Queen managing accounts. He didn’t know enough about how things worked in the palace to know if that was true or false.

“… We’ve come down to check out the horses.” Ronan had been talking while I wasn’t listening.

I blinked, realizing for the first time he wasn’t alone. I was slightly shocked that I hadn’t noticed the young man next to him, he stood a head taller than both myself and Ronan, with dark hair and eyes that contrasted with the prince’s lighter coloring. Odder still, I came to the conclusion that I had never met him before, in this or the past lifetime.

Chastising myself, I was unsure if Ronan had introduced us properly while I wasn’t listening, and if so, how I had responded. I could have performed a formal court greeting by sheer muscle memory, it wasn’t outside the realm of possibility that I had done something odd.

Ronan’s companion studied me with a curious expression, he stood neither too close or too far from the prince. Hopefully judging by his lack of confusion or disapproval, I had yet to humiliate myself.

Only 3 more years of keeping up this charade, and I’m already slipping. I must stay focused!

I forced myself to listen to Prince Ronan.

“The stupid stable master insists he is too wild to ride, but I think he is just too unskilled. If I were to ride him, he would be tamed in moments.”

That at least provided me with the mental image of Ronan falling off his horse and injuring himself. My smile came much more naturally. “I’m sure your highness could manage even the wildest of horses. “

Ronan nodded distractedly, already losing interest now that he had finished his horse story. “Is Lady Edith here?”

Three. More. Years.

“No, Your Highness, I believe she is home today.”

His gaze sharpened. “Is she ill?”

“Not that I know of.” Years of royal court training kept my smile perfectly in place.

Ronan coughed, seeming to realize even with his denseness how out of place his question was. “I was just thinking, since you two are such close friends, if she was ill, you would be visiting her.”

“Would I?” I could barely hear my voice.

_______________________________

“Go to sleep.” Angela tried to tuck me into bed, but I stubbornly refused, sweating profusely from the fever.

“No, with me being sick, surely someone will be by to visit?”

Her face was blank. “No one has come, miss.”

“Prince Ronan? Edith? … Mother?”

“No one.”

_______________________________

“… give her my best when you do see her.” Ronan was still talking. Lucky me. How had I ever not realized where his heart truly leaned? Had I really been so blind?

Even as I felt disdain for my former self, a part of me wanted to forgive her. Not blind. Young. Naïve. A little girl who thought the world would go her way just because she asked nicely. A girl who thought love was the most important thing in life, the only purpose of life.

… I was not that girl anymore.

I curtsied once again as the gentlemen took their leave. My smile perfect, polite, concealing the darkness I felt within.

_______________________________

Hallers set up the office within an hour, surely using some sort of supernatural ability, given the absolute chaos he had to work with.

I sat down at the desk, looking through the stacks and stacks of papers and slowly did the numbers. It was not a simple task. After hours of poring over tax documents, expense sheets and overdue lendings, I had only a few pieces of the overall picture.

But even from that I could tell it didn’t look good.

It was clearly evident that my father should never be allowed near money. The personal spending habits of our family were appalling. Thousands of crowns wasted on the most frivolous of items.

This had to stop.

I estimated our projected income, wincing when I realized just how much money was being diverted from the proper channels. If we could cut down on the stealing from the collection services, we should have just enough to cover the duchy’s expenses. But that would leave us almost nothing for personal spending.

Could I convince my family to stop spending? As I looked around at the luxury that surrounded me, I felt a sense of futility take over. No. even though I was sure of the cuts I would make in my own expenses, I would have to find a way to support our family through other means.

I spent the next few days working my way through all the paperwork, working from morning until night, stopping only to sleep and eat.

I was so focused on my task that I was startled by the soft knock on the door. It was Hallers.

“Excuse me miss. I have taken the liberty of contacting of few of the smaller vendors and consolidating some of the debt with a smaller interest rate.” He handed me a stack of smoothed out bills. I glanced over them, whistling with appreciation when I saw the improved numbers.

“This is perfect Hallers, thank you!” I leaned back in my chair, rubbing my eyes with a sigh. “We will need to set up a meeting with all the men involved with taxation collection. If we don’t put a stop to this corruption, nothing I do will save this duchy.”

“Very good, Miss.” A delighted grin crossed his face, passing so quickly I almost missed it.

“Let’s aim for next week, I need to come up with a plan for terrifying a group of men into doing exactly what I want.”

“I’m sure you will be quite successful,” Hallers answered with a perfectly straight face. I couldn’t help but let out an amused chuckle.

“If that’s all, I’ll return to my work… “ I paused as he didn’t move an inch. “Was there anything else?”

Hallers hesitated. “Your etiquette lesson with the Queen is scheduled for tomorrow, yes?”

“Y-yes.” I blinked, confused by the direction of the conversation. “I will head out to the palace in the morning, why?”

It was actually something I was dreading. How many hours had I spent in those rooms, sweating, crying, trying over and over to perfect the lessons the queen had to give me? All to impress a man who had no interest in me. It seemed so ridiculous, now.

“Well, there is a man who works in the Royal treasury…” He paused, looking slightly embarrassed. “My brother, in fact… I have expressed to him your recent efforts over the last few days to organize the Duchy’s finances and enact change and he was eager to lend his assistance.” He bowed. “I apologize if I overstepped my bounds.”

“No need,” I waved a hand, dismissing his apology. “How exactly does your brother wish to help us?”

“He would like to share some of his experience and knowledge regarding taxes, land ownership and financial reform.” Hallers again looked slightly embarrassed. “He’s somewhat of a progressive man, Miss, not exactly a monarchist, but he is very skilled…”

“HE’S PERFECT!” I stood up, smiling. An experienced person who could give me advice on reforming the Duchy AND didn’t like the monarchy? I couldn’t have asked for better! “Can you arrange for us to meet after my etiquette lesson with the Queen?

Obviously shocked by my enthusiasm, Hallers nodded. “Very good, Miss. I’ll arrange it. He’ll be very pleased.”

“As am I.” I sat back down, settling in to continue organizing the accounts. “We’ll save this Duchy, Hallers.”

“Miss?”

I chuckled, the sound a little more sinister than I intended. “Whether they like it or not.”

#writing #short story #I can't eat love #part 4 #second life #second chances #thanks everyone for the support

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