#romitri family | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

starseneyes · 2 years ago

Text

Romitri - Rose / Dimitri - Vampire Academy - Season 1 - Ep 9

Welcome to my Meta for episode 9 of Season 1 of Vampire Academy on Peacock! If you’d like to catch up:

Episodes 1-5 Meta

Episode 6 Meta

Episode 7 Meta

Episode 8 Meta

SPOILER ALERT: I will spoil absolutely everything. So, reader beware. I haven’t yet read the books, so feel free to fill in the blanks, if you like! Can’t believe we’re already here, near the end.

Time to dive in!

Darkness

Haven’t we all faced some inner darkness at some time or another? Something that has clung to us with such steadfastness that we believed it must be an exterior force clinging to our goodness, robbing us of who we are. This episode is a study in the many facets of darkness... darkness that can come out of corruption, darkness that can come when night falls, darkness that arises from our choices, and darkness that becomes all that’s left when we deplete the light.

If I wrote Metas for the whole episodes, we’d be here for hours discussing... but this is a Romitri Meta... and it’s still going to be bloody long. So, grab your favorite fangtastic popcorn and drink (spirited or not), and let’s have fun!

Rose and Mason Embrace Their Future

Uhhh, Rachel? I think you forgot what this Meta is about... two sentences into it.

No. I didn’t forget. But, I think this is important. I’ve seen people saying, “It’s not the Rose and Dimitri show... this is Rose’s show. Abso-friggin-lutely. Rose and Lissa’s relationship is truly the heart of the show. And I don’t think we can properly discuss what happens between Dimitri and Rose this episode without taking into account the Mason factor. Like it or not, he’s a part of this.

Mason is caught up in the euphoria of the woman he loves choosing him. Yes, that’s what he sees. That’s what he thinks is going on, here, because we know he was aware of Dimitri and Rose. He saw it first-hand during the Benchmarks. He saw it outside the pub. He saw it when Rose and Dimitri trained together.

He’s not completely oblivious, but, at the same time, he doesn’t realize how deep Rose and Dimitri go. It’s soulmate stuff.

But, right now he and Rose are fantasizing about what they are going to do in the human world. And Rose is truly, truly feeling happy. But not because she chose Mason... because she chose herself.

That’s right. Rose Hathaway chose Rose. Dimitri isn’t even a choice in her mind, anymore. She’s released the belief that he will ever “come to [his] senses”. Rose is moving on because she has accepted that the path she truly wants is closed to her.

And it’s more than just moving on from Dimitri. She’s also looking to move on from Lissa. Lissa’s breakup with her shook her up. Follow that up with Dimitri’s words about Rose’s unusual upbringing, enveloped in the love of a Moroi family... and Rose is as lost as Dimitri.

But, we’ll get to that later.

While Rose is in the throws of euphoria, Dimitri is unknowingly facing down the long walk (but short fall) to the depths of hopelessness. The “choices” they made are coming back around.

Dimitri is Arrested for Treason

Refresher: Rose made an insane choice and told Sasha Tanner to run. Not saying she was wrong, but in Dimitri’s eyes this was the stupidest choice... to choose to aid and abet someone going AWOL... to choose Treason.

But, he chose Rose... and that’s landed him here, in hot water.

“Guardian Belikov, the punishment for treason is very serious.”

Duh. Like, none of us think the punishment for treason is a lollipop and a stern warning. It’s f*cking treason, you dolt. Dimitri, with his spotless record isn’t going to enter into it lightly.

Alberta enters, and she looks right at Dimitri. Like, “You, f*cker. What the f*ck did you two do?” Behind her is Rose, and her eyes lock onto Dimitri as fast as his lock on hers.

They likely haven’t spoken since the Ring... have avoided one another. He’s been healing, so we know it’s been a few weeks since he no longer sports the black eye. But with that one look, we know they are united. They won’t give each other away, if they can.

But Dimitri’s report is damning. He was the Head Command on this mission. He already knows he’s f*cked.

“I stand by my statement.”

Because there is no other option for Dimitri Belikov. He made this choice to cover for Rose back then, and he can’t go back on it, now. He will always choose Rose.

“I hope you know what you’re doing.”

Because they both know he’s f*cked. Dimitri even nods at that. Yes, he knows what he’s doing. He’s doing what he convinced himself he wouldn’t do—choosing love over duty.

Now, he doesn’t know that they have Sasha... but he knows they know something, and even that suspicion is enough to screw him. And he knows it.

And he makes the choice anyway. Look, I know a lot of us have a sour feeling in our stomach because our boy ending the last episode macking on snake venom in a human skin. He’s a lost boy, unsure of who he is anymore. But one thing he knows in his heart despite his head railing against it—he loves Rose Hathaway. No way in hell he’s letting anything happen to her if he can help it.

Dimitri’s Apartment

I love this glimpse into his life. Having his own apartment, he’s afforded more space and privacy than the Novices collected in their co-ed dorm.

We open on a stack of books. Biographies, as Dimitri will later identify, of humans. He describes it as his way of seeing the world, later, but I suspect it’s also his way of being someone else. He can’t embrace the idea of choice, as Rose can, but reading of another’s life and choices allows him to imagine in a way that he’d never allow himself outside of the sound of turning pages and the weight of the book in his hand.

Books are so often an escape for those of us who grew up in trauma. You can open a book, tune out the world, and disappear. I think it’s telling of Dimitri’s personality that he disappears into others’ lives. Perhaps secretly wishing his was filled with more of those choices he doesn’t believe he has.

The bed is impeccably made, another stack of books at the end of it. There’s a sense of scarcity to this room, Swedish Ladders lining one wall, candles and religious relics filling the window space. A mat on the floor for meditation. There’s so much white space in here, void of anything that isn’t necessary—save the books.

These books are Dimitri’s quiet rebellion. They’re scattered. They’re stacked imperfectly. They aren’t organized by author or alphabet. They’re the pieces of himself that yearn to break out of the shell of conformity.

But he’s not reading when there’s a knock at the door. He’s sitting cross-legged on the floor, meditating. He knows what’s coming.

He even warned Rose, “Do you have any idea what they’ll do to her if they find her? What they’ll do to you if they find out that you helped?” “I don’t care,” she had said. She didn’t. She didn’t care what happened to her.

But she cares what happens to him.

That’s why, despite her plans to leave, she shows up at his door.

He opens the door, and as soon as she sees him, she sighs, full of relief. He matches her sigh with one of his own. They didn’t know what had happened to the other after that moment of eye contact. Rose looks around her, and Dimitri wordlessly opens the door for her to enter while simultaneously looking for anyone watching.

And this effortless rhythm is so indicative of the bond between Dimitri and Rose. Fractured as they’ve been since the breakup, they are still completely in sync when they want to be. Neither had to utter a word for the other to know how they each felt, what they needed to do, and how to follow through.

Yes, they’ve trained together so they can make those choices in combat. But, this isn’t combat. This is a dance. It’s a painful, slow, heartbreaking dance. But no less beautiful.

The door closes, and Rose fills the silence with her ownership of the situation. This is important.

Remember back in the early episodes when Rose faced the consequences for taking Lissa outside the Wards? Dimitri tried to offer her support, but then felt she wasn’t taking it seriously. He asserted how people need to take ownership of their choices.

“I’m the one that helped Sasha escape.” “Sasha chose this. It’s not on you.”

While technically true, I don’t think early Season 1 Dimitri would have taken the same attitude. Yes, Sasha chose her path. But, Dimitri, my dear, you chose yours to protect your Roza.

Their initial conversation done, Rose finally takes in the fact that Dimitri is deliciously shirtless. But it’s so awkward, now. Dimitri wasn’t thinking about it, either, but with the lull in the conversation, he moves to put on a hoodie.

And all the Dimitri fan-folk collectively groan and throw things at the screen.

Look, I may be a Demi who spends my time wondering how hard it’s going to be for the makeup team to cover Kieron Moore’s new butterfly tattoo if/when we get S2, but I understand that there are people out there drooling over this moment.

Even Rose in her, “I’m running away to start a new life with Mason” state of mind can’t help but think, “DAYUM!”

And, I find it fascinating that Rose is in her full gear... Hair in a bun. Wearing her uniform. Boots.

While Dimitri is stripped bare of that (oh, yeah he is!). *ahem* Dimitri is barefoot. He didn’t even have on a shirt until Rose walked in the room.

All the bravado he’s carried with him, the badges he’s worn and the pride he’s taken in his role as a Guardian has been stripped, and he knows it. He’s more vulnerable than he’s been since the boat.

But Rose is focused on the task at hand.

“What’s going to happen to her?” “It’s in the hands of HQ, now. Nothing either of us can do.” “And that?” “A tracker. It’s nothing. Just due process and safeguards.”

No. It’s. Not. Look, all y’all people who are still pissed at our boy... He is now doing exactly what Rose did for Lissa back in episode 2 when Rose hid her Tribunal from Lissa to protect her... to choose her first. Dimitri is choosing Rose.

He’s not going to tell her about his troubles because he wants to protect her. He separated from her, and he hurt her, and he knows her. If she knows that he’s facing something, she’ll want to face it with him. Because much as they are both hurting, they still trust one another. They still know one another.

“I’ll be fine once all this blows over.” “HQ doesn’t let things blow over.” “The Dominion needs all the Guardians it has right now. I’m not entirely without value.”

There he is with his perceptions of “Value”, again. Remember Dimitri had requested to be moved to another province because he believed his value at St Vladimir’s to be compromised. But, it’s a very well thought-out lie. Rose knows as much as he does how dire it is—that people like Tatiana want to put teenagers out in the field... that non-Royals have had their Guardians taken.

What he doesn’t expect is her sly smile and response.

“If that was a brag, you need to step up your game, Comrade.”

It’s the first small smile she’s offered him since she walked in. But it puts him at ease. This is the same smile she wore on the boat as they shared a few moments of peace and contentment in their love before the whole thing went to sh*t.

But, also, it’s the return of one of her nicknames for him. The first time it was said, it was in friendly competition (with a touch of flirting). The second time, in anger in the Ring. This time, she’s said with affection and familiarity. He can’t help but smile back... that same smile from the boat.

It’s as though they’re both toeing the line between this present moment and the memory of who they are mixed with the potential of what they could have been. It hurts but in a bittersweet way that almost makes you forget the pain.

“Hard to brag to the woman who gave me a black eye.” “Sorry about that.”

And she means more than “Sorry about your eye”. She’s sorry about the whole thing. Rose was hurting, and angry, and out of control. And she knows it. She lost control, and she can’t even blame the darkness for any of it. Rose Hathaway won the fight, yes, but she lost a piece of herself in the moments after when she continued to pound a downed man.

But Dimitri’s already forgiven her. He will forgive her anything. He can’t help it. He’s that much in love with her.

“Forget it, Roza.”

It slips out, the dagger stabbing into them both simultaneously. Dimitri relaxed too much into the moment and let it slip. He let it slide. And Rose realizes the moment she hears it just how much she still loves him, even though she wishes she didn’t. It would be so much easier if she didn’t love him.

But as one of my favorite ships, Veronica Mars and Logan Echolls remarked, they don’t write songs and stories about the easy loves.

Part of what makes this scene hurt so much is that they both believe this is the last time they’ll see one another... but for different reasons. From Dimitri’s perspective, he wants Rose to go on to lead a beautiful life, not get tangled up in this mess by fighting for him somehow. Because, he knows she will. He knows that if she thinks she can help, she’s going to.

That’s why he was so strategic to tell her that Sasha was out of their reach, that they could do nothing to help. He is doing everything he can to set Rose up for a beautiful life... without him.

And Rose Hathaway is here to say goodbye because she believes Dimitri is a non-choice for her, and she needs to live her own life. She needs to figure out who she is outside of who she’s been.

Side Note: I talk a lot about relating to Dimitri’s trauma. But I also relate to Rose in this moment. See, both of them are struggling with personal identity outside of what they’ve known up to this point. The difference is that Rose is handling it more like I did, when I first starting figuring out who I was.

I limited my ties with my past. I tried new things that I’d never done before. I got outside of what I was “supposed” to be and started to see my life from a new perspective.

Co-dependency is a hell of a drug. I was raised with the expectation that I would be codependent. But... that’s not who I am, and as soon as I got out of the house and into college, I slowly started to see that who I was wasn’t defined by who mothered me. I could choose my own path. I could choose to be who I wanted to be. Now, my mother and I have a much better relationship, now, but it took a lot of years of tough talks and work.

Rose and Lissa are co-dependent and have been for a long time. They’ve both realized it in different ways, and so Rose is going to try to figure out who she is. And I fully support her. And so does Lissa.

Lissa even tells Rose that she’ll be back (yes, I know I’m skipping... I’ll get back to it in a second). Lissa knows that Rose needs to figure out who she is. And I think that’s important.

It’s important for Rose not to let herself be defined by Dimitri or Lissa or anyone else. Rose needs to embrace who Rose is, then add in what she wants and take out what she doesn’t.

Back to the Scene: Rose needed to know that Dimitri was okay before she left. Because, much as he knows she’d do anything to help him, Rose knows it herself. But, he seems okay. She can finally say goodbye.

But him saying, “Roza” sends her spiraling. You can see her searching the room around her for something else to focus on. Her eyes land on the books, and you can see the wheels turning.

“Are all these about-” “Humans.”

Rose went out into the Human world with Dimitri, once. It was the happiest they’d ever been. But she never would have imagined that he had an interest in that world the same that she did. They never really had the opportunity to discuss it, and it hurts anew that he chose to sever things between them after they’d experienced such a world together.

She’s planning on heading back out into that world... without him.

“Biographies—my way of seeing the world.”

F*ck. That hurts. Because she wanted to show him the world, but he pulled away. And now she is going to see the world, but without him by her side.

Rose looks for something else to focus on, and her eyes land on the religious relics. Her voice fails her. She can’t think of what to say as she looks at the flickering flames, remembering his steadfast dedication to his religion. He chose that over me. He chose that over me.

It’s the drumbeat in her head. And it hurts.

“Having a staring contest with the air, are we?”

It goes back to the beginning. Not their first interaction, but close enough. They share a smile, an earnest one. Oh, how far we’ve come.

But Rose loses the smile and a quiet sadness overtakes her. Oh, look how far we’ve fallen.

Rose walks over to him, head down, mustering the courage to tell him goodbye. But somewhere between their exchanged looks at one another’s lips and eyes... she loses courage.

It reminds me so much of their first kiss... the charge that ran through and between them that sent the air crackling with tension. They still have that same spark. But this time, Rose isn’t closing the distance. Rose is saying goodbye.

“I guess I’ll see you around, then.” “Yeah. See you around.”

In their own Lois / Superman interaction (think Superman Returns), these two are talking about the issue. Both of them are keeping something from the other, and the other knows it. Both of them are speaking in circles, and the other knows it.

But they both also know that those dams need to remain in place, right now. For so many reasons.

But as both utters their phrase, it’s a goodbye.

“Goodbye, Dimitri. I’m leaving forever. But it’s okay because I know even if we’re not together, you’re going to be okay.”

“Goodbye, Rose. I’m leaving forever. But it’s okay because I know even if we’re not together, you’re going to be okay.”

These two f*cking piss me off. Because if either of them actually communicated, it’d be a whole different story. But, we love them because they are flawed people making flawed choices in an effort to protect one another. If they did everything perfectly, there’d be no conflict.

We’d all switch off the tele (or laptop) quicker than you can say, “World’s Shortest Forbidden Love Story (but still better than Romeo & Juliet)”.

Rose breaks the eye contact and connection, but Dimitri remains rooted in place. It’s so symbolic of where they are and where they’re going. Like last episode, Dimitri is digging in while Rose is running away.

Rose walks to the door, but she looks back at him, offering a modified salute to him, almost with a smile. And I honestly can’t remember if she ever saluted him before. But, it’s bittersweet, the way that she smiles softly at him with the salute.

But my favorite part is how she watches him the whole time she closes the door. Rose doesn’t turn her back to him and pull the door closed behind her. She backs out, watching him as she goes. She’s memorizing him, spending those last few seconds looking at him... but also symbolically showing us how hard it is for her to walk away. She can’t turn around... not until he’s completely out of sight.

Because Rose would stay if she knew he needed help. And he knows it.

As she exits, he offers his own half-hearted salute, but then takes the fingertips that touched his heart to brush his lips in a goodbye kiss.

Goodbye to the love of his life. Goodbye to his one exception. Goodbye to the life they could have had. Goodbye to the moments they shared. Goodbye to the chance to watch her live from afar.

Dimitri knows the fate that awaits him, but it’s a little easier knowing Rose Hathaway will get away with it—that Rose Hathaway still has the chance to build the life of her dreams.

Meredith Tries to Talk Sense to Mason

We’ve seen these two palling around a lot the whole season. Two good friends. But, the best of friends often have tough talks, and this is one of them.

“We’ll be okay.” “We? Anyone with eyes can see how she feels about Dimitri.”

My husband and I started dating in college, and he once told me that before me, he didn’t notice the buildup of romantic relationships in shows before. But, being around it more (and being in love for the first time *ahem*), he saw it more.

I think Meredith is falling for Mia, and as she is, she’s more and more aware of how others feel about one another. Not that poor Mason was every subtle (he’s more a “neon glowing light” kind of lover), but I think Meredith’s definitely more tuned-in to Rose these days because they both are in the midst of forbidden love affairs.

For Meredith, it’s Mia. For Rose, it’s Dimitri. They’re both pining for people they can’t have.

“She asked me to go with her. Rose is with me, now.”

As we say in the South, “Oh, Mason, you sweet summer child. Bless your heart.”

The kid’s gone. And he’s clinging to anything that gives him the shred of hope that Rose might feel the same way about him as he does about her.

There’s a hitch in his voice between “is” and “with”, as if he’s trying to speak something into being, to will it to be so.

“Then why did I just see her coming out of his apartment?” “Sweet.”

See, this is why I don’t think Mason is “oblivious” as some people have said. I think he’s aware that there’s something going on there, but he legitimately thinks he’s won.

And here comes Meredith with another reminder of Rose running off to Dimitri.

But she chose me. We’re running away together.

He wants to believe it so bad that he’s tuning out the truth.

“You deserve someone who loves you. The way you feel about Rose, that is how she feels about Dimitri. She can’t help that any more than you can. I’m sorry, but you’re gonna have to face the truth.”

Meredith hits it on the nail, here. (Did I mention she’s my favorite Novice besides Rose? Because she bloody is). Rose loves Dimitri. She can’t help it. She can run away from it. She can pretend around it. But she can’t purge it. He’s not a drug in her system. He’s a piece of her soul as much as she’s a piece of his. And it’s a lot harder to lop off part of your soul.

And poor, poor Mason. Instead of listening to his friend, he goes on the offensive, attacking her, tearing into her, trying to one-up her.

Mason’s raw and he’s angry, but Meredith finds a way to stay calm, in spite of that.

“Rose doesn’t love you.”

And there are tears in Mason’s eyes... because deep down... he knows that. He really does. But he’s ignoring his head as much as Dimitri has been trying to ignore his heart.

Mason walks away from his best friend... the last words he thinks the two will ever exchange.

And, yes, I do want Mason to find love and joy, someday (if he doesn’t die in the finale). But, we all know it’s not going to be with Rose Hathaway.

“... are you lying? Are you covering for another Guardian? Or both?”

That’s all it takes for Alberta to connect the dots. “Is Rose Hathaway going to be a problem?” It was Dimitri himself who once asked that of Alberta. Dimitri feels her glare, and his eyes find hers. He glances away, quickly.

He knows she knows. Now, Alberta can speak up and try to lessen Dimitri’s sentence, or to try to carry out “true justice”. But she doesn’t. In this moment, Alberta makes her own choice—not to intervene.

“I was the Commanding Officer. I was responsible for the veracity of the information I relayed. Any gap between my report and the truth rests solely on me, as should the punishment for giving false information.”

Dimitri. Chose. Rose.

Dimitri will always choose Rose.

“Though I wonder at your prioritizing punishing a Guardian during a time of Civil Unrest.”

Sh*t, your girl’s been rubbing off on you, Guardian Belikov!

But, it’s an incredible sign of growth for Dimitri “Good Soldier” Belikov questioning what’s going on. He’s so used to following orders, to following commands, to doing what he’s told.

But for one bright, fleeting moment, Dimitri Belikov questioned the establishment without questioning who he is... and I’m so proud of him.

“You’ll be taken to the dungeons before you are sentenced by the Queen.”

Alberta is aghast. She didn’t expect that. I think they’re all surprised that such a harsh punishment is being dolled out to someone who has such a spotless record. And she’s the only one who knows the truth—he did it for Rose.

This may be the truest representation of love she has ever seen. Damphirs are subservient to the Moroi, especially the Royals. Guardians have the elevated task of protecting the Moroi with their very lives. Most marriages within the Court are arrangements born out of the quest for power or status. Amongst Damphirs, romance and love are not permitted or expected. Sex, sure. Love? No.

But Alberta just witnessed Dimitri give up his very life for the sake of the woman he loved. She’s come face-to-face with it for the first time, probably in her life. And she can never shake its impact.

If she survives, of course.

Too soon? Yeah, probably too soon. Anyway...

Mason Goes to See Dimitri

I’ve looked at this from several different angles, because there are a lot of thoughts out there regarding this scene. Honestly, I think it’s Mason trying to reassure himself of what he believes by counting Dimitri out. He wants to look Dimitri in the eyes, tell him that he’s got the girl, and move on feeling that sense of victory that he so badly needs to validate him right now.

And, like Meredith said, he deserves to be with someone who loves him, and he shouldn’t let his relationship with Rose define him so much. He’s got a lot to offer, and I can only hope he discovers it before it’s too late.

Look, I’m not saying he’s a-goner, but book readers say he’s a-goner, so it’s very possible Rose’s favorite puppy dog is a-goner.

Mason gets Dimitri to himself, partly because he can’t possible let anyone else know about his plans, but also because he wants to focus on this moment. It’s not vindictive. He doesn’t hate Dimitri. But he hates that Rose loves Dimitri.

“I wanted to tell you... Rose and I are leaving.”

Watch. Dimitri’s. Face.

There are about a thousand things to compute in a matter of seconds. “Rose is running off with Mason.” “Rose is getting out, good for her.” “Rose is going to be happy.” “I truly know for a fact that she will have a good life.” “This makes my sacrifice worth it.” “This is why Rose acted weird.” “I knew she was hiding something.” “That’s why she reacted when I talked about seeing the world.” “Rose is going to see the world... with Mason.” “Mason knows about me and Rose.” “Mason’s going to be with Rose and I’m not.” “Mason made a special trip to tell me.” “Little f*cker’s got no idea what he’s messing with.”

That last one’s important. Not because Dimitri is vindictive... but because Dimitri knows what he and Rose have and why they aren’t together. Mason doesn’t.

Mason’s still clinging to the idea that Rose “chose” him.

“That explains it.”

There’s a small smile on his words. But it’s that same heartbroken one he used talking about Alexei, the one he used talking about the darkness within him... now it’s also attached to the sadness he feels about losing Rose... because he does feel it.

“I thought maybe it’d help if you know that she’ll be okay.”

D*ck move, Mason.

Okay, look, I believe he’s truly not trying to be a little sh*t. But, he’s justifying why he’s doing it, when he is really doing it to try to assure himself of the reality to which he’s clinging.

And, I get it. Last episode I wanted to pour hot lava on Dimitri’s libido for daring to neck with Lady Evil Von Psycho. So, I’ll get over my annoyance with Mason, but I’m frustrated with him. I’m allowed!

“I wish you the best. Rose is meant for greater things, and she deserves to be safe. And happy.” “She does.”

Right there. That’s where you see that shift. Mason is puffing out his chest on that, “She does”, like, “and I’m the man to do it!”

But Dimitri picks up on that right quick, and it’s his turn to lean in.

“Never tell her what’s about to happen to me. If she knows, she won’t leave.”

And now Mason knows where he stands.

Yes, Rose is going off with Mason, but because she doesn’t think Dimitri is a choice, and Rose is choosing Rose. She’s chosen Mason as a companion because she wants to go with someone easy. She doesn’t have to convince Mason. She doesn’t have to push or draw him out. Mason’s this sweet, loving puppy trailing after Rose. And that’s what she’s looking for right now—easy.

But her heart will always tug her back to Dimitri. As his tugs him back to Rose.

He could have given her up at any point in this process, but he never did. Heck, he could be vindictive now and announce Mason’s plans and get him thrown in the dungeon with him. But he doesn’t. Dimitri chooses Rose over and over.

And if Rose thought there was a choice to be made... she would choose Dimitri every time, too.

Dimitri’s speaking facts, here, but he’s also spitting in the face of this validation that Mason was seeking. Mason didn’t “win” anything, here. If there ever was a contest, it wouldn’t be a contest. It couldn’t be a contest, because Dimitri and Rose’s love is true, and they will always choose each other.

“Let’s go.”

Dimitri is done. Much as he wants Rose to be happy and content, he doesn’t need Mason throwing sh*t in his face right as he’s going down. The Guards return to their positions while a gutted Mason watches Dimitri.

“Fuck you, Dimitri. Fuck you.”

Dimitri barely pauses as Mason holds back the tears. Because, much as Meredith tried to break though, Dimitri did. Deep within, Mason knows it’s true... if she knew what was happening to Dimitri, she’d never leave.

“I’m leaving... For so long, all I thought of was being your Guardian, and that was enough. But now, after everything, I need to figure out who I am outside of all of that... And outside of you.”

Rose is taking a huge leap, here. Do I wish she was doing it alone? Sure. But that’d be a lonely journey. Taking Mason with her gives her someone steadfast and loyal (gosh, I really am describing a puppy...) who she can count on.

Growing up with one version of yourself in your head is so hard... especially when you hit a point and realize you have no f*cking idea who you really are because you’ve informed every decision based on who you thought you were. That’s where Rose is. Rose has realized that she informed all of her decisions on being Lissa’s Guardian.

Being forced outside that mindset is what helped bring her here... that and losing so much. She lost Mikhail. She lost her great love. She lost so much of herself in the process.

But who the hell is she? We’ve seen it, sure. She’s headstrong and fierce. She’s intelligent and foolhardy. She makes quick, gut decisions, and she commits. She asks tough questions, and she acts without considering the consequences if she thinks it’s right.

But it’s all been measured against what kind of Guardian she could be. Rose needs to figure out who she is without all the measurements and comparisons... when she’s just... Rose.

Much as I doubt she and Mason will make it far (hello, STRIGOI attack!), I wish we could see Rose go on that journey of self-exploration. I’ve been there, and tough as it is, it’s marvelous.

And, yes, I had a man in my life at the time, too.... and one I was breaking up with. Gosh, it’s a long story, but essentially I took time off to figure out who I was without a man and without the influences of my childhood. And on the other side of that, I found the man I married 15 years ago waiting for me... patiently waiting as I worked on myself.

Golly, I love that man.

So, Rose, go figure out who you are. It’s so freakin’ healthy.

“So... um... just you? Or...” “I’m going with Mason.”

Lissa still has no idea what’s gone down between Dimitri and Rose. And as Rose says, “Mason”, there is no absolute joy or excitement. It’s a statement. It’s what it is. Lissa takes in that information, because she liked Rose with Dimitri. But, she’ll always support her bestie.

“Stop it. He’s a good guy.”

And that is so freakin’ telling. He’s a good guy... Not, “I love him.” Because, she doesn’t... not like that. But, he is a good guy.

“You’re being weird.”

She can’t read him. She doesn’t know him at a glance. She never pegs what’s going on with him. But Mason has felt the full impact of Dimitri’s words and is choosing to ignore them wholeheartedly. This is what he wants, and he’s going to hold onto the fantasy as long as he can... hopefully forever.

But as they’re walking off, his arm around her, she can’t help but look back.

What is she looking for? Is she hoping to see Dimitri there, watching her, giving her a reason to stay? Is she hoping he’d run after them? We don’t know.

But for that very small second, she isn’t looking forward on the adventure. She’s looking back, just as she did when she exited Dimitri’s apartment.

Dimitri Trapped and Unable to Help

The camera movement is eerily similar to Dimitri praying in the Church during Near Guard, Far Guard. He’s not praying this time, but he is feeling fuck*ng helpless... moreso when the alarms blare.

Rose and Mason drive off

The music line strikes me so hard, “I can take the pain”. That’s what they play as Rose smiles to herself, then her smile diminishes a little. Because she knows that she’s leaving a part of her soul behind.

She just doesn’t know how bad it truly is.

As always, thanks for reading. Next week’s going to be insane, and we’re all going to lose our minds. But, I’m ready for the fun. Enjoy our last week of Daniela Nieves torturing us with out-of-context clues, VA Jail locking up cast and fans alike, and our favorite Vampire Academy cast and crew crushing it.

Bonne nuit. Buenas noches. Goodnight.

#Vampire Academy #Vampire Academy Peacock #Sisi Stringer #Kieron Moore #Rose x Dimitri #Dimitri x Rose #Romitri #Romitri Meta

92 notes · View notes