#romance didn’t even OCCUR to me until I was like 16 and then it wasn’t even directed toward anyone

[whentheynameyoujoy]

Yup, Sure Was a Finale

I had an epiphany. The reason why I never re-watched the final two parts of Sozin’s Comet even though I’ve popped in episodes at random many times over the years isn’t that I can’t bear the sadness of seeing one of the best, most engaging narratives out there come to an end.

It’s simply that the finale isn’t all that good.

Some honorable mentions of what was enjoyable.

(+) This

Just this.

(+) The Church of Zutara has another convert

“Are you sure they don’t get together?” Hubster, 2020

(+) The tragedy of Azula

And the fact that it’s acknowledged as such. I hope Zuko will do his best to get her help and have a relationship with her…

(+) Sokka being a big bro

And the whole airship sequence in general. It’s wonderfully paced and plotted, with moments of humor, real stakes, Toph being both badass and a scared crying kid, Sokka strategizing and protecting, Suki saving the day, and non-benders being instrumental in thwarting the bad guy firebender’s plans. Would be shame if Bryke never portrayed them this capable ever again…

And now for the main course.

(-) Blink and its over

The wrap-up feels too quick (hashtag Needs More ROtK-style False Endings). A part of this is due to how fast the story goes from the thick of the action to hastily tying up a bunch of loose ends, but the larger issue is how Book 3’s uneven pacing comes home to roost. After spending half a season on filler episodes that at best subtly flesh out established characters while dancing around a huge lionturtle-shaped hole, and at worst contradict the theme of “no one is born bad” with “you’re a hot mess because your great-grandfathers didn’t get along too well”, the frantic “go go go” rush of the second half screeches to a halt with “they won and everyone was happy because now the right people have power and it will be all good from now on yup nothing more to deal with baiiiii”.

Yes, I know, it’s a kids’ show. But goddamn, this particular kids’ show has proven so many times it can do better than the expected tropiness. Showing the characters in their roles as builders of a new world was the least that could have been done.

Oh well!

(-) Ursa

We’ll never know. There will never be a story that delves into this. Yup. Shall forever remain but an intriguing mystery. Is good, though. Mystery is better than a story where Ursa shares her son’s penchant for forgetfulness. Imagine how embarrassing that would be. Speaking of which…

(-) What does Mai see in this jerkbender?

Look, I like to harp a lot on the mess of inconsistent writing that’s Mai but let’s unpack this scene from her perspective, shall we?

Zuko forgot about her! It totally slipped his mind that the one person who prioritized the safety of his dumb ass was rotting in the worst prison in the Fire Nation—because of him! And she was rotting there long enough after the final Agni Kai for the news of Zuko’s upcoming coronation to spread and her uncle to feel sufficiently secure to release her. But then the coronation scene is attended by every single member of Gaang & Friends that was imprisoned?

So what this tells me is that either a) the invasion force had the ability to break themselves out the whole time and for some reason decided not to exercise it until after the war was over, b) Zuko forgot about them as well and no one thought to remind him there were prisons full of POWs until Mai arrived, or, and that’s even better, c) Zuko took care to free every single resistance fighter while making sure Mai would be the one to stay behind bars.

Never thought I’d say this but Mai? Honey? You deserve so much better.

(-) “What does Katara want?”

Asked no one in the writers’ room ever, apparently.

This is not so much anti Cataang as anti romance stories that pay attention to the needs, opinions, and wants of only one partner in general. Over the previous 60 episodes, Katara actively expressed romantic interest in Aang exactly, wait for it,

Once.

And it got retconned out of relevance by the following two interactions where the possibility of a romantic relationship came up, making the Headband dance pretty easy to reclassify as just one of those examples where Aang “teaches” Katara to have fun (as if one of the main obstacles to her having fun wasn’t him constantly fooling around and offloading his duties). And because the writers not only didn’t succeed in portraying Katara’s internal state of mind, but also failed to root her reluctance to pursue a relationship in outside circumstances that could change, her sudden state of unconfused once Aang steps into the spotlight has a single canonical explanation that as much as approaches coherency.

The fact is, though, that trying to interpret canon Cataang from a Watsonian perspective is an exercise in foolishness. Because there is no Watsonian justification for the ship and never has been. Bryke simply conceived of Katara as nothing but a tropey prize for Aang, never saw her as anything beyond that, and were perfectly happy to go on and immortalize her as a passive broodmare for the rest of her life.

And I fully intend to die mad about it.

(-) Iroh dips

OK, it’s been long apparent that the show doesn’t intend to do anything about Iroh’s complicity in AzulOzai’s regime in any meaningful way, and that his sole motivation for doing anything whatsoever is Zuko whom he views as a replacement son which is supposed to be good for some reason. But the finale has him abandon even that, and instead turns him full-on YOLO, idgaf anymore. It really throws Iroh’s supposed love for Zuko into doubt when his last act in the entire show is to take a half-educated 16-year old with no political savvy or an heir to secure a dynastic continuity and plomp him on the throne of a war-mongering imperialist regime where the entirety of the militarist and ruling class is guaranteed to fight him tooth and nail for power.

(I sure hope Mai’s ready to start popping out babies by tea-time otherwise the whole country is fukd in about a week)

Christ, how hard would it be to have Iroh keep the throne warm for a few years while Zuko is getting ready to succeed him? Not only would it make the whole FN reformation bit quite likelier to occur, it would require Iroh’s hedonistic ass to actually sacrifice something for once. And not having Zuko ascend to power, instead spending some time bettering and educating himself first, would be a wonderful message that no matter what you endured and overcame, you never stop growing. A kids’ show, remember?

(-) The conquering of Ba Sing Se

Gee, I feel so blessed to have my attention diverted from battlefields which actually matter to an old dude vanity project I would have been perfectly happy to assume resolved itself off-screen.

The White Lotus in general just bugs me. I was fine with the individual characters and their overall passivity when they were portrayed as lone dissenters living under circumstances where it wasn’t really possible for any single person to mount a meaningful resistance. But as members of a far-reaching shadowy organization that’s left the real fight to a bunch of kids for 59 episodes straight and didn’t turn up until a perfect opportunity presented itself to take control of the largest city in the world and bask in the spotlight?

Yeah, no.

Similarly to the lionturtle-ex-machina, the White Lotus represents a huge missed opportunity for a season-long storytelling. Here’s just a brief list of what they could have been doing throughout Book 3:

orchestrating a Fire Nation uprising;

gathering those directly persecuted by AzulOzai’s regime to help Zuko keep his hold on power once he’s crowned;

establishing themselves as a viable alternative to Ozai;

sabotaging Fire Nation’s war efforts from the inside;

countering Fire Nation propaganda (Asha Greyjoy’s pinecones, anyone?);

running a supply network to alleviate the suffering of Earth Kingdom citizens.

Instead, they sit on their asses until the time comes to claim personal glory.

You know what, good on Bryke for making me conclude that in comparison, the Freedom Fighters were perfectly unproblematic, actually.

(-) Fire Lord Dead-by-Dawn

Yes, a kids’ show, I know! But ffs, this is the same kids’ show that came up with Long Feng and portrayed courtly intrigue, kingly puppets, secret police, spy networks, and information wars. Was it really too much of me to expect something other than “enlightened despot solves everything”? Especially if said enlightened despot has persisting anger issues, no personal support system, no base of followers, and no political experience whatsoever?

If Zuko’s actually serious about regaining the Fire Nation’s honor (i.e. by dismantling the country’s military machine, decolonizing the Earth Kingdom, paying reparations to everyone and their lemur, and funding any and all cultural restoration projects Aang and the SWT come up with), then there is no way, no way in the universe that he doesn’t face a civil war, deposing, and execution within a month.

One reason why his future as a Fire Lord seems rather bleak is that little’s been shown about the actual subjects of AzulOzai’s regime. While we get a vague reassurance that “no Toph, they’re not born bad” (le shockings), they largely remain a voiceless uniform mass of brainwashed clapping seals. What is their view on the Fire Nation’s crimes? Do they associate their condition with their country’s war-mongering? How will they react when Zuko starts dismantling the country piece by piece to rebuild it, bringing it to economic ruin? What will they do when noble Ozai loyalists come out of the woodwork and begin rounding them up under the banner of “Make the Fire Nation Great Again?”

I have no idea, and Zuko doesn’t either because he’s unironically more qualified to rule the Earth Kingdom than his own people.

You know what would have been better? Fire Lord Iroh, White Lotus pulling the strings to maintain the regime, and Crown Prince/People’s Champion Zuko travelling the Fire Nation with Aang and an army of tutors to promote the new boss, only to realize that absolute monarchy is kinda crap for the people he’s one day supposed to rule and gaining their support by ceding some power to them.

I’d laser holes into my TV due to how much I’d enjoy watching that.

(-) All hail Avatar Rock

Literally and metaphorically. Aang doesn’t sacrifice anything, gets everything, and the clever solution of going about getting said everything is handed to him on a silver platter, requiring no active participation on his part whatsoever.

He doesn’t work to unblock his chakras, spiritually or physically.

He only speaks to his past lives to get a pat on the back and a bow-tied solution he could mindlessly follow.

Energy-bending doesn’t require any sacrifice from him, leaves no lasting marks, and only serves for the narrative to praise him as the rare individual that’s unbendable and thus so very very special.

The most infuriating thing is, however, that Aang is clearly shown as being able to beat Ozai without either the Avatar state, or energy-bending.

And he chooses not to. From this moment on, Aang no longer fights to save the world. He fights to preserve his beliefs, going directly against the instructions of his past lives and effectively reneging on his duties as the Avatar.

Again.

It’s not like you can’t portray Aang’s faithfulness to his spiritual beliefs as the key to beating Ozai and saving the world. But that’s not what the show did. There is no link between Aang sparing Ozai and securing a better future, quite to the contrary—Ozai’s survival ends up being a massive problem for the continuation of Zuko’s rule, and consequently a threat to the world at large. His survival benefits Aang and no one else.

Aang’s spiritual purity and his status as a savior of the world are allowed to coexist only due to a deliberate stroke of a writer’s pen.

And I hate it.

Welp, nothing to do about it now except to bury myself up to my tits in fix-it fics I guess.

[herstorshe]

Why Catherine Howard Was Not Just a "Stupid Teenager"

TRIGGER WARNING: Discusses and mentions sexual abuse & harassment, r*pe, and childhood abuse

Catherine Howard, out of Henry VIII’s wives, is generally considered a stupid “bad girl”. In the last few years, this idea has come into question, partially due to the modern Me Too movement of women calling out men for sexual harassment and abuse.

Catherine usually gets this reputation from her series of sexual and/or romantic affairs, both premarital and not. This was the reason she was eventually beheaded on February 13, 1542.

There were three noted affairs that Catherine likely had. The first two were before she married Henry, while she was staying at her step-grandmother’s boarding house due to her being an orphan.

The first affair was when Catherine was about 13, with her music teacher Henry Mannox, who was at least in his twenties and probably in his thirties. We do not know if the two actually slept together, but there was definitely some sort of romance between them. It is unclear if this relationship was consensual or not, but we can guess that it probably was not, considering the fact that Catherine was so young and Henry was so old. This relationship occurred because the Dowager Duchess, Catherine’s step-grandmother, hardly supervised the many young girls who were in her care at all, resulting in men coming into their private chambers at night.

The second affair was when Catherine was about 16, with Francis Dereham, the Dowager’s secretary. Allegedly, they called each other “husband” and “wife”, and Francis entrusted Catherine with several wifely duties, such as keeping track of his money when he was away. Catherine and Francis both admitted later on that they did sleep together. Their relationship ended about a year later, when the Dowager Duchess found out. Francis was sent away to Ireland, and he and Catherine may have had intentions to marry once he returned. If they did exchange vows before sleeping together, they would technically be considered wed. Catherine later maintained that Francis had raped her, however.

Catherine’s uncle found her a place in Henry’s wife, Anne of Cleves’s, household, as he knew that Henry was losing interest in his fourth wife, and Catherine was known for her beauty. Henry’s eyes soon fell on her and he divorced Anne of Cleves.

Catherine married King Henry VIII in July 1540. She was probably about 17, and Henry was 49. During her marriage, Catherine may have been romantically or sexually involved with one of Henry’s courtiers, Thomas Culpeper. She may have considered marrying him before Henry proposed to her. The two were allegedly having secret meetings in Spring 1541, supposedly arranged by Jane Boleyn, one of Catherine’s ladies in waiting, as well as the widow of Catherine’s cousin, George Boleyn (brother of Anne Boleyn). Soon, all of this came to Henry’s attention and Catherine was sent to the tower of London and beheaded.

Here are the reasons that Catherine Howard wasn’t just a “stupid teenager.”

Women had very little power back then. Women were blatantly taught that they were inferior to men, and men were taught that they were superior to women. Women also had no legal rights.

Catherine especially had very little power. Catherine was a teenage orphan who had never had a good parental figure, and was not very well educated. She was noble, but poor. Until she was queen, men probably didn’t have hardly any regard for her, and so they would not feel guilty if they hurt her.

She was a child. What would we think of a 13-year old orphan having a romantic and possibly even sexual relationship with her much older music teacher today? Sounds pretty suspect, right? Catherine was quite young in all of her relationships, and was significantly younger than at least 2 of the men she had relationships with (Henry Mannox and Henry VIII).

Catherine said that she was raped by Francis Dereham. During Catherine’s trials, she quickly claimed that there had been no marital contract between her and Dereham, maintaining that he had raped her. Why don’t we believe her? The fact that many don’t believe this claim of hers would not be considered fair if this had happened in the modern era.

Sexual abuse and rape are still very common today, and women had even less power then. Even now, rape and other forms of sexual abuse are still very common, due to the continual systemic patriarchy. And then, women had even less rights. Of course sexual abuse was quite common then, even if the history books don’t call it that. People had different ideas of right and wrong back then, especially when it came to conduct with women. We need to take what men back then said with a grain of salt when it comes to sexual harassment and abuse. They did not have a fair understanding of what was fair in these cases.

Everyone says you can’t look back at the past with today’s eyes. But I argue that in some cases you do. If it is on the issue of sexism, racism, homophobia, etc, we need to consider it with today’s standards because primary sources from times in the past are often very prejudiced.

Catherine was a young girl who had gone through a lot before she was even 15 years old. Her mother died when she was very young and her father abandoned her soon after, sending her to an unsupervised boarding house where she was harassed and probably assaulted. She never had a good parental figure, and she was pushed around by men her whole life. She didn’t even make it to 20 years old, being executed for something that wasn’t even her fault.

Sexual Abuse & Harassment Resources

Sending love to everyone. You are not alone.

National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673

Donate to Rainn, anti-sexual abuse nonprofit: https://donate.rainn.org/

The K Howard Project (anonymous forum + support group for survivors): https://thekhowardproject.weebly.com

Resources (Many of these include very triggering content!)

“Catherine Howard.” Wikipedia. Wikimedia Foundation. URL.

“Katherine Howard: Vixen or victim?” The History Press. URL.

“Tudor women.” Geni. URL.

“The Six Wives of Henry VIII - Part 2.” History Tea Time with Lindsay Holiday. Youtube. URL.

[olivieblake]

KSIGJICNRJCNEHCBD HELLO HELLO WELCOME TO THE HELL THAT IS KNOWING ZUTARA IS EVERYTHING AND SHOULD HAVE BEEN WRITTEN AS SUCH !!!! wow i love that you are as angry as i was (and am every rewatch? yikes) this is amazing i knew you're my favorite but yeah wow man this really. confirms it whew high five

yeah it’s pretty wild how I knew this was what happened and was already bracing for it and yet STILL got completely misled by the narrative??? MEN I tell you MEN. I’m also going to use this ask as a method to reply to some of the other commentary if you don’t mind since this seems like a good place for communal frustration (here is my original post for anyone scrolling around lost)

@meg-hemmings: I agree with all of ur thoughts and I would TOTALLY read anything you wrote for Zutara … your writing is among my absolute favorite ever and I think you would write the Zutara dynamic so beautifully!

@one-man-propaganda-machine: I am - begging - you to write it yourself.

I... am not going to make promises, but I may have to. I want something very specific and that never bodes well for me. I doubt it would be more than a one-shot, but there are multiple scenes that could have occurred between episodes that would flesh out what was there (and of course I’d cut the final 15 seconds of the show, much like another epilogue I loathe and ignore)

@deifiliaa: omg atla discourse in 2021; olivie, i’d love to see what your character tier list looks like now that you’ve finished the series 👀

I’m going to put azula at the top. not because she’s a good person obviously but she’s FULL. OF. HITS. every time she’s on the screen the narrative gets immediately more interesting. she’s savvy and self-assured and I love it. her ending depressed me although I like that it was kind of about the loss of her two best friends? if that had been more of a focus I think I would have enjoyed it more but yeah, losing mai and ty lee could have been rightfully devastating. who among us is not totally obliterated by friend breakups. I also really loved uncle iroh; if anything that’s why I wasn’t invested in zuko’s storyline until close to the end, because watching him disappoint his uncle was very difficult (I get it, he’s a teenager, he’s growing and evolving and whatnot, but also I am closer to being his uncle than to being him so like, yeah). I also hope the peter pan revenge guy (JET that’s his name, sorry pregnancy kills my brain cells) did hook up with both katara and zuko. I love that journey for all three of them. I wanted more time with mai than we got, so there wasn’t quite enough there to love... but I was very down with ty lee interfering on her behalf. what a pivotal moment

of the core characters I think I was quickest to love sokka; the episode where he apologizes to suki and asks her to train him cemented it for me. I think it’s a big deal to show boys apologizing on-screen and owning their misconceptions. I like katara a lot—she’s what a lot of people do with fanon hermione. toph is also great, and part of me feels there is a strong basis for a ship with aang that balances their opposing energy, though I also like the idea of them being platonic besties. aang is... twelve. pretty much every time he was on the screen mr blake (a teacher) was like “man, aang is such a seventh grader,” so it was nice how convincing that was for his emotional journey, but at the same time it was hard to forget he was in seventh grade. appa and momo are STARS. I am sure I have mentioned this before but mr blake really loves animals and he was devastated by appa’s kidnapping; he hugged our dog for about ten minutes after aang found appa. after he decided I was zuko, he speculated that he is closest to aang but he’s not happy about it lol. “ugh, aang and I are such boring pacifists” was I believe his take on the subject

@libbynico, who for some reason I can’t tag: so true! katara was literally something like a mother/older sister figure to aang the entire time, but whatever

yeah, I think it really sucks that katara, as the emotionally nurturing character, felt shoved into the role of love interest. it’s everything wrong with the distribution of emotional labor in male-female relationships but sure, WHATEVER, apparently nobody thought to ask me in 2008

@touslesnoms: I liked “such selfish prayers” by andromeda3116 if you ever decide to read zutara after the series; the worst prisoner by emletish is super funny too

thanks for the recs! I will take them. I do want something very specific so I will be accepting recs until I find it lol. or until I lose composure and write it (yeah this is me WITH my composure, no wonder mr blake thinks I’m zuko, “I’m never happy” indeed)

@gaeleria: THANK YOU!!! Ugh omg that “I’m confused” kiss scene made me actively hate the ending. I knew ahead of time they were endgame, so I tried to make myself accept it early on. Like, I really didn’t like the pairing, but I wasn’t going to be emotionally invested in the romance and it was just going to be like, whatevs. AND THEN THEY WROTE THAT SCENE??! 1000% no. What was even the point of that scene? If they had written it to make Aang have some introspection and realize it’s not all about him, Katara’s feelings matter too, or even apologize, or anything… but no, there was literally no point to that scene. No character growth, it was never mentioned again. Ugh.

this is in answer to both you and beloved @zabbini: yeah this was a fuck-up for sure lol. I think it may come down to editing for time; the series is very irregularly paced, what with the majority of the action taking place in the final three episodes of a 16 episode season. or maybe it’s just because MEN CAN’T BE TRUSTED TO WRITE ROMANCE but either way yeah this was a real misstep and just truly, truly reeked of a particular (white) male attitude about how women think and what they owe. had a bad day, dudes? buy a gun, kiss your forever girl, do whatever you want and it’s fine! (I’m exaggerating but barely)

in terms of what’s so angering for me: a character like katara who previously had tons of agency was robbed of it when it came to her romantic arc, which is just really upsetting. and to be fair, I was equally upset when zuko instantly agreed to the agni kai with azula because it was like okay well katara’s extremely valuable, as you know, but now you want her to just sit on the sidelines...? (more of a story flaw than a relationship flaw, but my chest sunk a little at the idea that katara was going to sit by and watch as an accessory to zuko’s story when she’s a crucial weapon in their collective fight. what a waste, right?) 

it’s also especially hard to buy into the aang thing when zuko’s method of problem-solving on katara’s behalf is there for comparison. he asks her what she needs in order to find closure and then from there, does everything necessary to get it without having to be asked twice. versus aang, who is a twelve-year-old pair of rogue lips who never wins any of his fights without the aid of phenomenal cosmic powers...? ugh I’m getting off track but in the end there’s just a complete lack of understanding what female audiences want, though again, I don’t think they were really considering that at all. which I guess is... fair, it’s not the point of the show, but then why make the ending romantic at all? to show that their brand of hero gets everything he wants, I guess

in conclusion in 2008 I’m not sure the industry was capable of doing better, which sucks but isn’t surprising. still, it does fit the components of “stuff I write fics for,” which is I enjoyed most of it but find myself enraged by slivers I compulsively need to fix—WHICH IS STILL NOT A PROMISE but ugh I can already feel myself giving in 

[tinyboxxtink]

Build Me Up Buttercup *Part 9*

Weeeee!!!! Here we go, getting close to the end guys. 

I’m glad so many people like it, it makes me happy. 

Okay okay enough sappiness, we’re not dead yet.

Oh and gotta tag: @wanniiieeee 

If you need to catch up:

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8

Finale

Epilogue

“...Soooo, are we hoping he shows up, or not?” 

Once again, your BFF was there to hear the latest escapades of the saga unfolding. 

“Obviously NOT,” You scoffed, falling back onto the bed. It was stiff, almost…crusty. You tried desperately not to think about just what exactly went on in these rooms on a normal basis.

“Because….?”

“Because I don’t wanna just BANG IT OUT, that’s why!” you exclaimed, wondering why that wasn’t blatantly obvious.

“Yeah but didn’t you say that Barba said that he was still gonna care about you, even after sleeping with you?”

“Yeah…” you twirled your hair again.

“So then if he does come to you then you know he really does believe that, correct?” Your BFF pointed out.

“But what if he doesn’t?”

“Oh come on, you think that Barba would just have sex with you to prove a point to your sergeant?” 

“I mean, what if he doesn’t care about me after, y’know...we fuck,” You said blatantly.  

“Seriously?”

“Yes SERIOUSLY. Come on babe this has all happened SO fast, I mean it can’t be anything other than physical attraction,” 

“You don’t believe that,” 

“Of course I do! Look at me! Metaphorically. Guys don’t ‘date’ me, they wanna fuck me and leave me.  

“Yeah, that’s usually because you fuck them before you give them even so much as a name, and then kick them out in the morning. Nice try,” Your BFF shot down your attempts to self deprecate.

“...Whatever,” 

“Look, I love you. I know you’ve been through hell and back. But, at some point you have gotta let the past be the past, and realize that you’re not that girl anymore. You’re not 16, you’re a grown up. And a smart, beautiful one at that. A guy could easily fall in love with you,” they assured you.

“In less than 24 hours,” you rolled your eyes.

“Okay maybe not love, but certainly more than a dicking. I mean Christ Y/N if that’s all he was after he wouldn’t have defended you to Liv, he would’ve just begged her to let him have a day pass to fuck you and move on!” 

“But, we’re so-- and he’s-- and I’m-- I just can’t see how we’re gonna…” You tried expressing your thoughts but it just wasn’t coming.

“Look, get out of your head. Just, stop. Stop overthinking it,”

“Yeah okay,” you said sarcastically.

Suddenly, there was a knock at your door. 

“Y/N?” you heard Rafael’s muffled voice outside. 

“SHIT,” You hissed into the phone, jumping off the bed.

“Is that him? I TOLD YOU,” your BFF laughed triumphantly. 

“Shut up. I’ll call you later.” you tossed the phone on the bed, fluffed your hair as if that was going to help the situation, and opened the door.

“Hey, can I…?” He motioned inside, leaning into the doorway. 

“First, I need you to be honest with me,” You put your hand up to his chest.

“Okay…”

“How drunk are you?”

“Seriously? I may not drink straight shots of tequila all the time, but that doesn’t mean I’m some old man lightweight,” he scoffed, very offended.

“That’s not an answer,” 

“...Honestly? I think I’m more buzzed off that kiss earlier,” he smirked.

Damn he was smooth. 

 You rolled your eyes and opened the door, letting him walk in. You motioned for him to sit on the bed, to which he replied, “Yeahh….I don’t think I’ll be sleeping anywhere tonight. God knows what is on these,” 

“Really? So how pray tell do you think we’re going to ‘bang it out’?” his head whipped around at that sentence.

“Christ almighty, again Y/N?! Privacy, google it,” 

“Oh whatever, you two were practically screaming in the parking lot,” you scoffed.

“I swear to God, you are so--”

“So what? Stupid? Immature?”

“Infuriating!” 

“Hello, kettle,”

“Oh really? How am I the bad guy here? Olivia sat there and basically called you a piece of ass, and I defended you!”

“And yet, here you are. Ready to fuck,” you presented your hands as if you were a platter. 

Rafael put his hands over his face and paced the room.

“Ay dios mio, me voy a suicidar,” he muttered while pacing. 

“Oh really, you wanna kill yourself? That’s a tad dramatic, counselor,” You scoffed again.

Rafael’s eyes widened, “You understood that?” 

“I heard suicide,” 

“Right...ok look,” he stopped pacing and stood in front of you, taking your hands in his.

“I’m not-- I don’t...want to just, ‘bang it out’,” He rolled his eyes at the notion. 

“But, also-- I don’t not want to….y’know,” He gestured towards the bed with his head. 

“...So you do, but you don’t,” you continued with the sarcasm. 

“It’s not JUST what I want to do, carino,”  he put a hand up to your cheek. 

“Cards on the table, I would love nothing more than to rip that shirt off and ravish you right here, until we have to leave in….Jesus, 7 hours,” He shook his head, knowing he was never going to sleep tonight either way this went. 

“Just not on the bed,” you half laughed.

“...Y’know what? For you, I would risk the thousands of venereal diseases that are seeped into these sheets,” 

“....How romantic,”

“If you really knew me you’d know that is the peak of romance,”

“See that’s the thing Rafael-- I don’t really know you. Not really. And you don’t know me. We just...I don’t know, we had this little chemistry thing going all day, and then y’know you cleaned me up when I was crying, and then held my hand through my story, and I--”

“And that’s why you wanna sleep with me,” he dropped his hands and stepped back from you.

Your face fell, your eyes widened. It had never occurred to you that he would be the one doubting the sincerity of the situation.

“What? Seriously?”

“You just said I don’t really know you, you don’t really know anything about me, except that I helped you through a difficult situation and now you wanna ‘repay’ me, or you feel attracted to me because I made you feel good,” 

Your jaw was on the floor; was he actually saying this? Was he this insecure this whole time?

“That is so not--” you tried to interject but he kept on.

“Then how do you explain it? This, this little attraction coming out of nowhere--”

“It didn’t come from nowhere,” you cut him off without thinking. 

“Excuse me?” he raised an eyebrow.

“Are you a moron, counselor?” you asked, to which he just stared at you dumbfounded.

“You honestly think that just because you dried my tears in a bathroom and held my hand through a story, that I would just throw caution to the wind and make a very obvious, romantic grand gesture? In front of my BOSS? Olivia could’ve fired me at any point today for ‘fraternization” or “unprofessionalism”, or a million other things that have run through my mind. You think that I would just risk my career because I thought you were nice?!”

Now it was Rafael’s jaw on the floor, flabbergasted at your sudden admission. He shook it off quickly, walking back up to you and caressed your face once again.

“So...you do have an insane crush on me?” he smirked.

“I wouldn’t go far as to say ‘insane’....spirited, maybe,” you blushed, making him grin like a kid in a candy store.

“AND, really to be honest it’s only been a subconscious thing, I think. But this morning at the gas station, something just…”

“Clicked,” he finished your sentence.

“Ye-Yeah,” You whispered, now once again stunned.

“Yeah…” he smiled, rubbing your jaw with his thumb. 

“So….what are we doing here, counselor?” You tried to keep your voice from wavering, but his hands on your face and the smell of his cologne was driving you nuts.

“We’re standing here, detective,” he smirked.

“Oh fuck off don’t be cute about this,” you hit his hands away at his snarkiness.

“But I’m so good at it,” he pulled on your hands playfully. 

“Alright what are we going to do about….” you gestured between the two of you.

“Well, I told you what I want to do,” he smirked again, pulling your face close to kiss you, but stopped mere millimeters from your lips. 

“BUT, I also don’t want to do something just because Olivia tells me to,” he pulled back quickly, amused at the annoyance on your face.

“So what, you wanna make out like teenagers? Wouldn’t that just be proving her point?” You scoffed, trying to hide the fact that you wanted to do so much more than that.

“I just...I don’t want us to...and then you--” he made hand gestures left and right.

“And then I? And then you!” you hit him softly. 

“No, not me. You think you’re the only one with a subconscious?” He raised an eyebrow, indicating he had always felt the same about you.

“So...neither of us, wants either of us, to change our minds,” you pulled him in closer once again, your arms wrapped around each other’s necks. 

“But both of us, assume that we will,” you continued, moving a hand to play with his collar sans tie, so that it was showing the tiniest bit of his chest.

“SO-- I propose this,” You patted the chest window with both hands. Rafael took this chance to grab them and keep them there, anxious to hear your proposal.

“We….have some fun,” you wagged your eyebrows suggestively. 

“And since both of us already think that the other one is gonna bail, we’re not gonna expect tomorrow to be any different, right?” 

“Right…” he held onto your hands, forcing you to balance back and forth on your toes. 

“And, if we both still feel the same when we get home…” you clung tighter to the collar, pulling yourself closer to his face.

“Then we do this. For real,” you whispered, staring him straight into his gorgeous green eyes.

“...And what happens when one of us changes our mind when we get to the city?” He brushed hair away from your face.

“Well then, I’ll just transfer units so you can get over me,” You gave him a tongued smile.

“Oh, I think you’ll be transferring to get over me, carino,” he smirked.

“What does that mean, by the way? I hope it’s nothing bad, considering you’ve called me it all day,” you asked, and he laughed. 

“No no no, not bad-- never,” He kissed your forehead.

“It means like, ‘sweetie’ or ‘honey’, it just sounds prettier in spanish,”

“It really does. To be honest you could call me trash in spanish and I’d still think it was sexy as hell,” you admitted, making him laugh louder.

“I would never call you basura, carino, EVER,” he assured you, going in for another kiss; this time, he didn’t stop. 

You both began kissing each other furiously, the crescendo of your wants from the entire day came spilling out all at once like a broken dam. Without thinking you jumped up and wrapped your legs around his waist. Surprised, he momentarily stumbled back, but quickly adjusted your weight in his grasp, pulling you tighter into him. You could feel his growing member against your thigh, and you couldn’t help but smile knowing you were the reason for it. All of a sudden you felt yourself falling back onto the bed, Rafael continuing to kiss you.

“Oh yeah sure just let me get the jizz germs on me,” you giggled in between kisses. In response, he crawled on you and moved you up closer to the headboard, his entire body now on top of you.

“Alright there, my body is full of jizz now too, happy?” he panted. 

“Yeah I know it is, I can feel it,” you smirked, grabbing his belt and tugging on his erection. He moaned, his eyes widening in shock and excitement.

This was it, no going back now….

[dancingkirby]

Shipping

I’m sorry, but it had to be done.  Do y’all think this would work better as a Short Story, or just a oneshot on its own?  

DAY 1

To celebrate the tenth anniversary of his ascension to the throne, Zuzu and Mai were off on a world tour.  Azula had been left in charge of ruling the country.  While Azula was glad that he was finally realizing that she wasn’t always thinking about world domination all the time, so far her regency had been extremely boring.  Now, she was more than halfway through it, and absolutely nothing of note had happened.  

Today had started out like all the others.  She hadn’t slept great the night before because of the high winds that had battered Capital Island, and they hadn’t ebbed down very much by morning.  She’d had trouble getting her hair to stay in its topknot while training.  But the morning council meeting had proven as tedious as ever.  Azula was paying the exact minimum amount of attention required as the ministers droned on about tax brackets; most of her brain was occupied on what she would have for lunch that day.  Noodles were always nice, but she’d had them for two days in a row now. Anytime she ate any food on multiple consecutive days, there was always the risk of speculation among the courtiers that she might be pregnant.  Never mind that she hadn’t even done any sex acts that could result in pregnancy for years…

The door to the meeting hall abruptly swung open.  An out-of-breath messenger stood in the doorway, blushing deeply as nearly twenty pairs of annoyed eyes scrutinized him.  

“You do realize that you are intruding on a confidential council meeting, correct?” Azula inquired of him.  

“I’m t-terribly sorry, P-princess,” the messenger managed to get out.  “But I was told that this needed your immediate attention.” Could it be…that something interesting was about to occur for a change?

“All right. What is it?” she asked.  At her hand motion, the messenger climbed up to the dais and whispered in Azula’s ear.

“Okay.  I’ll be right there.  We will continue this meeting at a time to be determined later,” Azula stated.

So here she was on a tugboat, looking at the enormous cargo ship that had somehow gotten wedged into the Strait of Azulon.   Azula turned to the old salt who was leading efforts to remove it and said, “Explain.”

“That ship is called the Agni-Given, Princess,” the man said somewhat stiltedly; it appeared that he was trying to rein in a sailor’s natural tendency to use copious foul language.  “It’s one of the largest cargo ships in the world.  Today, it was passing through the strait when the high winds pushed it off-course and into a sandbar.  It also got tangled in some old nets from the Gates. We’ve been trying out dam…darndest to free it, but no luck.”

Azula took a deep breath, and exhaled slowly out of her nose.  “And what have these initial attempts included?”

 “We attached every tugboat in the harbor to it to try to pull it out, but it didn’t work, Princess. That fu…freaking thing is stuck deep into a sandbar.  Next step would be to try to dig it out.”

“Explain how that would be accomplished.”

“Yes…well…”–the old man paused–“We ain’t sure yet, to be honest.  The problem is that the place where the bow is stuck is seventy feet underwater.  All of the excavating machines available were built for use on land.  We was thinking of trying to get some of those new forklifts, try to extend their reach, and bring them out on boats, but…that would take time.”

“Forklifts?  Is that the best you could come up with?” Azula demanded.  She found herself imitating her brother’s famed nose-bridge pinch.  This would not do at all.  She needed an ingenue, someone who could design a whole new kind of machine if need be. And she thought she knew exactly where to find one.  

 DAY 2

It had been the end of a long day, without much progress being made.  Azula was just about to demand that the larger, more comfortable boat they’d made ready for her today take her back to the harbor when, at long last, the other ship that she had been awaiting arrived.  After this watercraft was tethered to hers, a figure came running down the gangplank, arms outstretched.  

“Azula!” Sokka exclaimed.  “How’s it going?  We haven’t seen each other in forever…hey!” His attempts at embracing her had been thwarted by the princess grabbing his shirt at arm’s length.  

“Not in public, remember?!” she hissed.  Then, just as formally as if he were any old dignitary, she added in normal tones, “Councilman Sokka.  It is good to see you here.  I trust that your journey here was uneventful?”

“Yeah, except we had to go around the long way because of…well…that,” Sokka replied, gesturing at the still firmly-entrenched Agni-Given.  “So how do you want me to assist, O Princess?” He did a little bow, and could not quite manage to keep a straight face.  

“Watch it,” Azula reprimanded again.  Whenever they encountered each other, she always needed to remind him that their relationship was a melding of intellects and occasionally flesh; romance had absolutely no place in it.  

“I recall that you designed a vehicle that could travel underwater,” she explained.  “Would it be possible to modify this concept and attach equipment for shoveling?  Or perhaps even the capacity for finer manipulation to untangle the net remnants?”

Sokka took a few moments to consider as he beheld the enormous ship.  Finally, he replied, “Yeah, I think that’d be possible.  It’ll take a while to draw up plans and get everything built, though.”

“Very well,” Azula told him.  “I suppose we shall have to simply endure each other’s company for a little longer.”

“’Endure?’  Is that what they’re calling it these days?” Sokka gave a wink that was obviously meant to be seductive, but in fact only made him look ridiculous.  Azula elbowed him in the ribs.

They did, in fact, end up fucking that night, after Sokka had eaten what seemed to be about half of the palace’s food supply for dinner.  They hadn’t seen each other in more than three years, and Azula was scrupulous about taking her contraceptive tea, so why not?

Sokka tried to kiss Azula after, but she didn’t let him.

DAY 3

Zuko had sent a message asking if he should cut his celebratory tour short and come home to help with this problem, but Azula quickly scribbled out a reply that they had everything under control.  

Today was the day that Sokka would first meet with the team of engineers assigned to resolve this problem.  

“And I’m sure that all of you will give him the respect that he deserves,” Azula told them in the most pleasant voice she could manage.  Some of them were obviously pissy about being forced to consult with a man who was half most of their ages.  Well, too bad.  Anyone who tried to ignore him would be upbraided with the utmost harshness personally by her.

DAY 10          

The manufacturing process had begun.  Sokka informed her that he had dubbed this new invention the “shovelmarine.”  He did not attempt to conceal his sheer glee at this horrible pun.  Azula threw a pillow at him.  

While the two of them worked by day and screwed by night, things were starting to get out of hand in the Harbor District.  The plight of the Agni-Given had captured the imagination of the public, and kiosks had sprouted all over the piers selling miniature models of the grounded ship. It seemed that every single street musician in the city had composed his or her own ballad about the situation.  Fan magazines had been established simply for the purpose of publishing the flood of stories and art that the more creatively-minded citizens had concocted.  Azula had gotten a hand on one of these volumes, and her favorite story was a somewhat graphic recounting of a speculated liaison between the Agni-Given and the statue of her grandfather.  Apparently, the statue was the dominant partner in this relationship…just as it should be.

This magazine had also included a drawing depicting her own activities with Sokka.  She knew that she should be furious about this; that the culprit should be tracked down and executed, but she found it just too amusing.  The picture was even surprisingly accurate, except that Azula had not actually handcuffed Sokka to her bedpost.  They had improvised with the sash from her nightrobe instead.  

DAY 16

“Okay, lets see what these shovelmarines can do!” Sokka said as the contraptions touched the open ocean for the first time.  The two of them watched from the boat that was by now almost as familiar to Azula as her own suite of rooms at the palace were.  

As it turned out, the shovelmarines (Azula had grudgingly accepted this terrible name) could do quite a bit.  Over the next several days, they worked steadily at the problem.  Finally, three weeks to the day after the Agni-Given had first gotten stuck, it once again floated freely, although it would be have to be drydocked to repair all the damage.  

In his excitement, Sokka had tried to kiss Azula.  She had initially resisted, but he had used his ultimate weapon: polar bear dog eyes.

“All right, but only once.  And on the cheek,” she cautioned him.  

DAY 25

Sokka had departed two days ago, and Azula hoped that he wouldn’t try to send love letters or anything stupid like that.  He should know how it worked by now.  Whenever they happened to meet, they would rekindle their affair for the duration of the visit, and then they went their separate ways until their next encounter. Of course, they wouldn’t be able to keep this up forever, but it would be fun while it lasted.  

And today…Zuzu and Mai made their triumphant return from their tour.

“Wow,” said Zuko as the two of them stood at the harbor, observing as the last of the debris was carried away.  “You and Sokka took care of that whole mess all on your own!  Thank you, Azula.”  At this point, he obviously knew from experience not to make any comments about her relationship with the nonbender.

“Why do you sound so surprised, brother?” Azula asked, turning toward him and raising an eyebrow. “It’s almost like I am, in fact, a competent ruler and don’t spend all of my days dreaming of bloodshed and destruction!  Who would have ever guessed?”

“That’s not what…” Zuko began, but he could say no more as Azula caught him by surprise, got him in a headlock, and began inflicting a merciless noogie on him.  

“Admit it, Zuko,” she crowed.  “I’m awesome!”

“Okay, I surrender!” he squeaked out.  “You’re awesome.”

She released him. “There.  That wasn’t so hard, now, was it?  Now let’s go get some ice cream.”

And so they did.

[slipping-through-my-fingertips]

invisible string

Prompt 1 (invisible string by Taylor Swift) from the Klaine/CC Valentine’s Challenge 2021. 

Thank you to @klaineccfanficlibrary for jumpstarting this series for me!

Summary: they were always meant to be together

Announcement: this is also the first installment of my folklore series. It pairs well with Lover. I’ll be arranging the stories at some point so they read in track order. Enjoy!

AO3

Green was the color of the grass

Where I used to read at Centennial Park

I used to think I would meet somebody there

Blaine thought it must be strange to sit in the park trying to read but getting distracted by the greenness of the green. The people walking past him didn’t comment on his odd behavior. New Yorkers didn’t care about what other people were doing, they had places to be and no time to care about weirdos admiring grass while sitting on park benches. 

But Kurt Hummel wasn’t a true New Yorker. He may fit right in with the city folk in terms of fashion and efficiency yet Kurt was still fundamentally a small-town boy. 

He had an eye for details and Blaine had an eye for Kurt.

He loved watching Kurt perfect a particularly challenging dance routine in class. He enjoyed watching Kurt analyze food menus when they went to get lunch together as if deciding on the right dish was going to affect how the rest of his day was laid out. Blaine liked walking with Kurt and actively seeing Kurt take in his surroundings, the strangers walking past them, and the city itself all around them. Sometimes, if Blaine was extremely lucky that day, Kurt would turn to him with a smile—just a little grin, no teeth—and make some sort of comment about what a fellow student was wearing and chuckle under his breath about it when it was particularly bad or sigh in awe if he had been out-fashioned. 

On that Friday morning, Blaine was waiting to meet Kurt for their usual coffee date. Well, not quite a date, just a tri-weekly coffee before their shared dance class. Sitting on a park bench admiring the grass's coloring because he didn't have Kurt to admire instead. 

It was in a taxi that same night when Blaine realized he was in love with Kurt Hummel. 

They had been out dancing with some friends from class celebrating the end of midterms week. Kurt and he decided to share a taxi home because they both lived in the dorms. They were slightly sweaty, the cab driver refused to change the station from something other than whatever radio talk show he was listening to, but they didn’t really care. They had each other and didn’t need music anymore. 

Blaine just kept thinking how easy it would be to walk his fingers over to Kurt’s hand and intertwine them. It shocked him so much that he shuttered and Kurt asked him what was wrong. Of course, he stammered out “nothing” and tried to calm himself down.

The taxi wasn’t dark because the city was never dark; Blaine knew if he started to blush Kurt would notice. So he willed himself to breathe and suddenly they were at the campus and going their separate ways while promising to text each other when they were safely inside their dorm. That was that: Blaine was in love with Kurt and he had no idea what to do about it. 

****

Teal was the color of your shirt

When you were sixteen at the yogurt shop

You used to work at to make a little money

Colors were always very important to Kurt. They were a way to express himself without too much fear of being treated definitely. At least the bullies weren’t offended by the colors he wore, just the fact that he existed and was very obviously gay.

Now colors weren’t just shouts into the world about his sexual orientation (though they did help with that as did his love of layers), they were emotional markers for him. Reds for romance, blues for sadness, gray for loneliness, etc.…

He started to notice colors more and more often as he spent considerable amounts of time with a fellow student, Blaine Anderson. Like the yellow bowtie, he wore the first time they grabbed coffee. It had been the first weekend of the spring semester, so late in January that they were discussing the possibility of a snow day during the first week back at school. Kurt had been in his element, plenty of layers to remove in the warmth of the coffee shop. Blaine had adorable light gray earmuffs and mittens resting on the table. 

They learned a lot about each other that day. Blaine had lived in Roosevelt, NY with his older brother for most of his life until moving to the city for university. He really was only an hour from home, he often said. 

They met at NYU. 

Kurt was a Performance Studies major at Tisch and Blaine was an education major but they both found themselves in an elective dance class spring semester. They were both freshmen, new to the city, and had a love of coffee. With dance class at 9 am, they made a habit of meeting for coffee beforehand. Friendship just blossomed from there. 

It was the end of March now, spring break over and done. Blaine was in the middle of this tale of his 16-year-old self working at the yogurt shop, somewhere between him spilling a pint of blueberry yogurt on his teal shirt and the tie-dye effect that occurred, Kurt realized for the first time: I’m in love with him. 

They weren’t even dating. They had only known each other for two months. Yet, here Kurt was walking by this boy’s side laughing at his ridiculous antics, and very much in love. 

****

And isn't it just so pretty to think

All along there was some

Invisible string

Tying you to me?

One year after their revelations about each other they were sitting in Centennial Park near where Blaine grew up. Instead of simply admiring the grass, as Blaine usually did when he came here, the couple laid out a blanket and had a picnic in it. Blaine had packed everything but Kurt had made all the food. They were a team now if only for the last six months. It’s been the best six months they had ever spent in New York, which was really saying something for Blaine because he had been living here his entire life and Kurt had spent his whole life fantasizing about it.

But somehow their relationship exceeded all of those fantasies and surpassed all of those previous life experiences. Maybe it was because they were doing this together and not alone. For so long they had both been gray and now they had color. 

They had found a love that was worth everything they had already gone through and worth anything that they would go through in the future because they had each other and they knew it. Even though it only been six months, Kurt and Blaine knew this was going to be forever for both of them. 

One single thread of gold tied them together and neither of them were ever letting go.

[thorne93]

The Stars Made Us (Part 16)

Prompt: In this world, you’re one of the “lucky” ones who got a soulmate, but what if the universe gives you more than you bargained for?

(Prompt challenge – You live in a world where your soulmate can write on their skin and you will get the writing on your own and vice versa. Where they can wash away the ink on their own skin, however, the writing is forever scarred onto your skin until you meet face to face)

Word Count: 3328

Warnings: angst and language throughout, seizure/medical complications

Notes: This was supposed to be for @sorryimacrapwriter​​​​  and their challenge like a year ago, I think? I still loved the prompt though and have been working on this story for quite some time. This aesthetic was made by @quailliamyfears, thank you so much! Beta’d by @like-a-bag-of-potatoes​​​​, couldn’t have done it without you, as well as @carryonmyswansong​​​​ and @arrow-guy​​​​ and @mrs-dragneel-stark-solo​​​​

Also, I’ve never really liked the whole soulmate AU thing idea, but this felt so right and it was amazing to write. I hope y’all love it too!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning you rolled in with a black coffee for Stephen and an iced coffee for yourself. Surprisingly, Stephen opened the door for you. 

“I didn’t think you’d come back,” he scoffed with a smile as he walked away from you, leaving you to close the door. 

“Why not?” you wondered innocently. 

“Because I was trying my best to get you to leave yesterday.”

“Well, clearly your best isn’t good enough,” you quipped sarcastically with a wide grin. “I brought you black coffee since I don’t know what you drink.” 

“Yet another reminder of why I’m wondering you're even here,” he noted as he took the cup. 

“You know, you could always tell me what it is,” you retorted. 

“Ah, but watching you stumble over the answers is the fun part.” He smiled at you and suddenly your knees were weak. Somehow, this ass of a man made your knees weak. “I’m going to go shower and shave. I have to be somewhere in two hours,” he informed you. 

“Oh? Where might that be?” 

“At a place I like to call none of your business.” 

You sighed. “Stephen, I’m here to help. Remember that.”

“You can help by making the bed,” he called over his shoulder as he walked toward the bedroom. You went to the laundry basket from last night that you left in the hallway, retrieving the sheets and pillow cases you had washed. 

Stepping in the bedroom you shook your head. He was basically making you a maid, a free maid. You wondered if he’d have you clean his house then send you back home. Just as you were putting the new sheet on the bed, you heard Stephen cry out from within the bathroom. 

“Ah!” he shouted and you frowned. 

“Stephen?” you called, craning your head around before running into the bathroom. He had his hand on his neck. “Let me see,” you evenly commanded. “Did you nick yourself?” 

“No, this is my routine. I shout and hold my neck.” He gave you a pissed off look and you pressed your lips together. You didn’t say a word and merely coaxed him to show you through a soft glare.

Finally he pulled his hand away, it wasn’t too bad, but it was a long cut. 

“What happened?” you inquired softly as you set to cleaning it up. 

“Felt like running a razor over my neck.” 

You sighed heavily. 

He rolled his eyes, he could sense you were tiring of the sarcasm quickly. “My hands… Sometimes they jerk. I think my hand slipped or it twitched.” 

All you did was gently nod. Without another word you grabbed his razor and began to shave him. He peered down at you but said nothing, keeping his remarks to himself. You slowly slid the razor along his neck, his jaw, his cheek, careful not to cut him again. 

When you were done shaving him, you wet a cloth and wiped away the excess cream. He looked better…ish. His hair seemed far too unruly for a surgeon. You had somewhat pieced together that this wasn’t what Stephen normally looked like. 

“So…” you started as you walked to his shower and turned on the water. It was an expansive, impressive setup. It reflected every penny of the Manhattan class and luxury. “You wanna tell me about the gorgeous redhead?” you asked as you stood behind him and started to pull off his robe.

“I don’t think we know each other well enough for that,” he explained evenly. 

“What’s that? Talking about the woman or me undressing you?” you questioned with a teasing smile in the mirror. 

“I would say both,” he said. 

“Oh, come now. We’re both doctors.”

“Yes, well I’m not your patient.”

“Aren’t you? With the way I’m treating you and the way you’ve been treating me, i would think that you’re my patient and I’m your undergratified nurse.” You shot him a bitchy smile. “I’m happy to do this for you. Now, if you want to be an adult, I can undress you and then we can talk about your girlfriend.” 

“She isn’t my girlfriend. Not any more.” 

“So you were...together?” you wondered as you continued to undress him, and he helped you, moving this way or that. 

“You could say that. We dated briefly. It was… I think a loneliness on both our parts. We’re friends now. She’s a good doctor. One of the few people I’ve ever been able to tolerate. Desperate times, you know…” 

You nodded slightly, trying to take it in before ushering him into the shower. He got in and closed the glass door.

“I’ll be right out here if you need me.” 

“I won’t.”

“Tell that to your knotted hair,” you quipped back with a smile as you stood right beside the door.

“Ha, ha,” he responded with an eye roll. 

“So what happened between you two?” you asked loudly over the shower water. 

“Nothing, that’s kind of the point of why we called it off.” 

“You mean there was no big blow up? No dramatic reveal of an affair?” 

As Stephen rinsed the shampoo out of his hair he said, “Sorry to burst your bubble, but no. Nothing like that. Just a… waste of time and effort.” 

“So there was no...real romance there? No love?” 

“No, nothing close but professional respect and friendliness. You know you seem awfully curious about my love life considering we barely know each other.”

“Oh, I find that going through someone's heart, their romances is a good way to learn about someone. That and their childhood.” 

“Of course you would find that,” he noted with a bit of amusement.

When he was finally done, you grabbed a towel for him and made sure he didn’t slip coming out of the shower. You were surprised he didn’t put up a fuss, but he must’ve realized you weren’t giving up and that it was better to be safe than sorry. 

He left shortly after you helped him dress and you still had no idea where he was headed. You took this time to become acquainted with the apartment; where he kept his cooking utensils, his towels, his bed linen, how he laid out his clothes… all of it. If you were going to be a maid and a nurse for him, at least temporarily, you wanted to do a good job. 

You decided to give Charles a call and update him on the matter.

“Hello, love. How is the new mate going?” he asked, charm and wonder lacing in his voice. 

You let out a sigh. “I thought you were tough, and I already loved you for ten years…”

“That bad?” he wondered in a solemn tone. 

“Yes, unfortunately.” 

“I’m sorry to hear that, darling. Does that mean you’re coming home?” he inquired, and you could hear the hope in his voice. 

“No, not quite. He’s down, but he isn’t past help.”

“That’s good to hear, although I doubt anyone is past help in your care.” 

“That’s sweet. Yeah, he’s a surgeon. Had an accident. Lost use of his hands and now he’s going on a monstrous pity party. And he doesn’t believe in soul mates. And he doesn’t think that anything is special between us since I already have you.”

“My, my, he is quite the nasty patient, isn’t he? I thought I was a tough cookie…”

“You were,” you reminded with a loaded tone. “That’s why I’m not sure how well this will work, but I’m willing to give it a go.” 

“Where’s he now?” 

“He’s gone. He wouldn’t say where. I’m just touring the apartment, getting my bearings.”

“So you plan on staying a while then?” he questioned, and in his tone you thought you heard...disappointment. 

You hummed before answering, “I’ll be here however long it takes, Charles. I can’t turn my back on him. Even if we don’t know each other.”

“I know,” he assured, understanding in his voice. “Take care of him, and do it well, so you can come home to me.” 

“I will,” you assured with a smile, but then another thought occurred to you before you heard keys in the door. “Oh, he’s coming back. I better go. I love you.”

“I love you. I’ll talk to you later.” 

“Bye.”

And you hung up. That new idea swimming in your head. You and Charles hadn’t really discussed what would happen when you met Stephen. He was a soulmate after all, and if you two hit it off by some miracle, what would that mean for you two? You came here with the sole intent on healing this man, knowing he was in trouble… but then what? Were you really going to ignore another soulmate because you had one? There was a reason you were gifted two men.

“How was it?” you asked cheerfully. 

“It was private that’s how it was, but if you insist on knowing, it was good. I’m going to go read. Would you care to make dinner?” 

“I don’t mind at all. Thank you for asking nicely.” 

He eyed you up and down for a moment before stealing away to what you assumed was his office. You decided to make chow mein and orange chicken. It was relatively quick, simple, and you were craving it. 

As soon as it was done, you found Stephen and softly informed him dinner was ready. He immediately shut his book and joined you at the table. The two of you began eating in silence. It wasn’t exactly comfortable silence like when Charles and you were both absorbed in your work, but it wasn’t the most awkward silence you’d encountered either. 

“So what do you plan on doing next?” 

“I plan on getting my hands fixed next,” Stephen informed matter of factly as he took a bite of food. 

You paused. “I realize that but… if that doesn’t happen, have you thought about your next step?” 

He threw a glare your way. “I’m a surgeon. I always have been. It’s what I was born to be. It’s what I will be again. If you’re just going to naysay--”

You held up your hands to stop the attack. “This doesn’t have to be a fight,” you reminded gently. “I just wish you’d face the facts, you’re a man of science--” 

He scoffed. “Facts? You’re sitting here telling me about facts.” 

You frowned, unsure what he was referring to. 

“Oh come on. Don’t sit there and buy into all this soulmate BS and tell me that I’m out of my mind for wanting nerve damage fixed.” 

“And you don’t? Buy into the soulmate BS as you like to call it?” 

“Does it look like I do?” 

“No, but surely you know it’s real. I mean, I wrote on your arm for years, surely you had scars everywhere and wondered--”

“I didn’t wonder, I knew exactly where they came from.” 

“But you didn’t ever become curious about who was writing them? Or the idea that you had a soulmate out there? None of that ever mattered to you?” 

“Why should it? You said it yourself, I’m a man of science and facts--”

“Which means that something proven like soulmates should go right in with that,” you firmly assessed. “People all over the world have scarring on their arms in the forms of marks made by their soulmates, only for them to disappear when they meet and you just think that’s coincidence?” 

“Of course not. I believe that part happens,” he stressed.

“Then what part don’t you believe?” you wondered. You were honestly confused. If he believed in the writing, the scarring, what did he not understand? 

“I don’t believe that the universe, or God, or whatever mystical power bestows this really knows the best person for me, or anyone else. I mean, does anyone really even have one person that’s just perfect for them? Is that even possible? And if it is, are we really going to leave it up to some unknown power or being or whatever?” 

“So you don’t think I’m perfect for you?” you assessed, trying to hide the disappointment in your tone.

“First of all, I don’t know you. So I don’t see how it’s possible either way right now. Secondly, how is anyone perfect for anyone? Besides, if you thought people were perfect for each other, then why do you have two of us, hmm? What is it your old mate isn’t giving you?” 

“Did it ever occur to you that perhaps you both supply something crucial to my life? You keep using this word perfect as if it when you meet your soulmate it’s the most magical thing in the world and all issues are forgotten. It’s not. You meet your soulmate at the absolute worst time in their life. Soulmates mean you complete each other, nowhere does it say they’re perfect or even perfect for you. Everyone has flaws. Everyone will have issues. Soulmates still fight. It’s a way of finding the one person on this earth that will understand you the most, meet your needs without hesitation, and love you unconditionally.” 

“But I don’t want to be told that. I don’t want to meet a woman and be told this is who I must love for the end of time. That’s so rigid. Why even bother with dating?” 

“I’m surprised you find it rigid. If it was anything else I’d say you’d find it dangerously close to romance and god forbid we breach that subject,” you noted with a hint of irritation as you stared him down. “Do you just enjoy crushing out any thought of anything that isn’t cold hard facts? Must nothing be left to faith or imagination?” 

“So far facts have saved lives and faith hasn’t done that. I think I’ll stick with the method I’ve chosen.” 

You balled up your fist before gritting your teeth. "My other soulmate was a drug dependent paraplegic when I found him. He lost his job, hia family, his legs, and will to live. Unlike you and me, he knew who I was and still didn't want me around. He wanted to wallow in self pity just like you but guess what? I helped him. I got him a serum to help him walk again with the assistance of his friend. Now he is a professor at an esteemed college and he's looking into getting his old job back, because he loved it and he helped dozens of people. He is no longer drug dependent and you know what? It wasn't based on science. It was based on faith and love. He didn't want to waste the time we have together now that we finally met each other. So he worked with me. He wanted to make things right. He had faith that I would help him and I had faith he was going to help himself. So I'm sorry something turned you cynical beyond any proof to the contrary, but being soulmates is a lot more than just a Hallmark holiday. It’s real, with real struggles, and it’s a mix of faith, love and science.” You scooted back from the table and threw your napkin down. 

You left the apartment, unsure if you’d return. Clearly Stephen didn’t want you to be there, clearly he didn’t believe this, so there was no point in trying to turn him. There was a fantastic man back home that really wanted you, and you wanted him. There wasn’t a lot to keep you hanging around. 

----------------------------

The arrogance of that bastard. You fumed. Why wouldn’t he just let you help him? He was worse than Charles.

Charles…

That was it!

You made a mad dash for the phone before calling Hank. 

“Y/N? Are you looking for Charles?” he asked, a bit confused. 

“No, no I’m looking for you.”

Just then, a knock came at your hotel door. 

“One second, Hank.” You pulled the phone down and went to the door. When you opened it, you were surprised to find Stephen standing there. “Stephen? What are you doing here?” 

“You said there was a serum,” he said as if he were out of breath. “You helped someone make a serum for your other soulmate. You said it helped him walk, that he was paralyzed.” 

“I know. I’m calling him now. I just thought of it. I don’t know how I was so blind or stupid.” You pulled the phone back up before letting Stephen in and closing the door.. “Hey, Hank, sorry. Okay, so Stephen here got into a bad car wreck, and his hands and nerves are severely damaged. Can you get us the first serum you’d made for Charles?” You put him on speaker so both of you could hear his answer. 

“I can, but that is specific to Charles and his condition--”

“I don’t care,” Stephen suddenly said. “I’ll pay anything. Whatever we can do to fix my hands,” he stressed. 

You were curious by what Hank meant. “Hank, what do you mean it’s specific to Charles? Nerve damage is nerve damage.” 

“Not in this case. Charles rerouted his--”

“I don’t care,” Stephen interrupted. “Anything. I’m willing to try anything… please,” he begged softly. 

Hank was quiet, but you could tell he was thinking. 

“Hank, please?” 

“Okay. I’ll be down in a few hours. Send me his height, weight, and allergies.” 

“Thank you so much.” 

You hung up and stared at Stephen. “Well, let’s get back to your place.” 

He nodded at you and he headed back to wait for Hank after sending him the information he needed. 

“Stephen, I… I’m so sorry I didn’t think about the serum before. I feel like such a fool. I wasn’t thinking. I guess I was so caught up in just… connecting to you that I completely spaced it.” 

“Y/N, don’t apologize to me. You thought of it, that’s all that matters. If I wasn’t so busy being an ass, maybe you could’ve focused on healing me. That’s my fault, not yours.”

All you did was nod before he spoke again after some time. 

“Do you think this will work?” 

You leaned forward, holding his hand. “Hank is an excellent chemist and doctor. He has worked miracles. I fully trust him.” 

He nodded. “Thank you… for giving me hope. I, uh, thought I didn’t have any anymore.” He smiled at you. 

“Of course, Stephen. I’m so happy I can do this for you.”

Eventually, Hank showed up. 

“Okay, I’ve got a serum. It’s a little different than Charles’s,” he explained as he walked in. “It does the same thing though. It targets the damaged hands. But, here’s the catch.”

Both you and Stephen waited. 

“Well, just like Charles, it has to be administered more than once daily,” he informed. “Which means you’ll have to be very careful. You will have to schedule surgeries carefully and be very attentive. Because if you are in the middle of a surgery and the serum wears off, the issues in your hands will return and I’m guessing shaking hands during a surgery is the opposite of what you want.” 

“Spot on, doctor,” he said with a smile. “Look, I’ve invested almost the last of my money in nearly every kind of experimental procedure. I’m willing to try anything. If this works, I’ll owe you my fortune.” 

“Well, let’s see,” he said. “Give me your arm, please.” 

Stephen put his arm on the table and rolled his sleeve up. Hank looked at his elbow, wiped the area with alcohol, got the needle ready, and injected him. 

“Now what?” Stephen asked.

“Now, we wait. It usually takes a couple of minutes for it to kick in,” he explained. 

“Right, and then we’ll see if--” Stephen’s eyes rolled back in his head before he moaned slightly and began falling out of his chair onto the floor. He started to convulse and your body felt cold all over as you stared on in horror.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[winryofresembool]

Things We Lost in the Fire, ch 24

aka Caleo uni au

Fic summary: Calypso starts studying at a new university, but to her annoyance her new flatmate is a loud mouthed mechanic who also likes to sneak his dog in whenever. But as she learns to know him better, she realizes they might have more in common than what she first thought. Eventually, even the darkest secrets come out…

Chapter summary: Halloween chapter, part 2.

A/N: Yay, an update! I think some of you are gonna be happy about the characters that are being introduced in this chapter... Also lots of Caleo dorkiness (and canon references) in it! And you'll get to see if you were right with your costume guesses :D

Also like I already mentioned last week, this is the last chapter that I have written so far (when I started posting this fic I tried to make sure I'd have at least 7 chapters ready so I wouldn't have to stress about deadlines... and here we are now) so it is possible that updates may slow down a bit, at least if the chapter wants to become long. But I am still /trying/ to keep up with the regular updates the best I can :) So worry not!

Now, enjoy and let me know what you think!! Ps. somehow we’ve managed to pass 50k words already :O

Words: 4040

Genre: romance & hurt/comfort

Warnings: none

previous chapter / AO3

…

“Hi, you guys!” Piper, who was dressed as Wonder Woman, greeted Leo and Calypso first when they arrived, gesturing for them to come in.

“Hello! I was afraid Argo II had decided to stop working because you guys are late,” Jason the Superman noted as he offered to take Calypso’s coat and put it in a hanger by the door.

“I’m not going to lie to you, Jason, that possibility did cross my mind as well,” Calypso said, casting Leo a meaningful look. “But no, not this time.”

“We’re only 10 minutes late!” Leo protested, checking the time from his phone. “I was busy finishing something… and Calypso took her time preparing herself as well. She probably did her wig for like two hours.” He gave her a not so serious side-eye.

“I did not!” Calypso said defensively. “Yeah, I straightened and combed and braided it but that took me maybe 15-20 minutes so he is highly exaggerating.”

“Don’t worry, Calypso, we know he does that a lot.” Piper smiled at her reassuringly. “Speaking of your wig, though, you look very cute! That hair reminds me of the style you had before my makeover. You’re dressed as the mythology Calypso, right?”

“Yes, I am,” Calypso said, pleased that Piper had figured that out so fast. “I thought it would be fun to be a bit self ironic for once. I haven’t really had a good reason to sew recently so this was a nice excuse to do that as well.” She made a small twirl to show the dress better.

“That dress really looks great!” Piper told her. “I would gladly commission you to sew me clothes; it’s so hard to find anything nice from the clothes stores these days. But Leo.” She turned back to him. “I see someone hasn’t bothered to get a costume. I wasn’t expecting that from you because you’re always so excited about them.”

“No, you got it all wrong.” Leo wagged his finger at her. “I do have it here, but as I told Cal, it would have been too difficult to wear in the car.” He dropped his bag on the floor, causing a loud thud as it hit the ground.

“Alright. Care to give us any hint what it is?” Piper asked curiously. “Seems heavy.” Calypso wondered if this was something they did every year.

“I’m just saying that it’s inspired by some movies that united us three,” Leo noted mysteriously. “But that’s all, you’ll see soon!”

“My mind is blank now,” Piper said. “Jason, what movies have we watched with him?”

“The first one that comes to my mind is Star Wars,” Jason reminded her. Suddenly both Jason and Piper’s eyes widened in realization. “Could it be?”

“Oh no, Leo you didn’t!” Piper doubled over in laughter when it occurred to her what Leo’s costume most likely was. “I can’t wait to see this!”

“I hope you took pictures with Festus!” Jason couldn’t keep his poker face either, and Calypso watched their reactions with confusion.

“Don’t worry, I will show them later.” Leo grinned, unperplexed by Jason and Piper’s laughter. “Now, where can I change?”

Piper showed him an empty room where he could get into his costume in peace, while Calypso started looking around the house on her own. Even though the place seemed rather fancy, Jason and Piper had managed to make it cozier with their personal objects. A lot of them had seen life and were worn but somehow they still fit in with the newer decorations.

As Calypso reached the living room, her focus went to the guests who had already arrived at the party. She waved at Annabeth and nodded awkwardly to Percy. Even though she and Annabeth were friends again, she wasn’t quite sure how she should act near Percy so ‘reserved’ felt the most natural reaction. She couldn’t help but smile a bit, though, when she registered their costumes: Annabeth had a Chiton just like her, although grey instead of white, with some silvery accessories and a beautiful owl shaped brooch over her chest. Perhaps the most impressive part of her costume was the Greek styled helmet that was used in battles and that hid most of Annabeth’s curly ponytail. Calypso was quite certain she was dressed as Athena, the Greek goddess that according to her was the one she identified herself the most with. Percy on the other hand was wearing sandals, shorts, a tropical shirt, and a belt with fishing equipment and he was holding a fishing rod in his hand. Calypso couldn’t quite figure out who he was supposed to be, other than some sort of fisherman.

“Hi,” Calypso greeted them as she got to hearing distance with them. “You guys look nice. You’re Athena, right?” She asked Annabeth. “Matches my theme, don’t you think?”

“Sure does,” Annabeth nodded, eyeing Calypso’s costume. “You look pretty much exactly like how I imagine the mythology Calypso.”

“Thank you. Coming from you it’s a big compliment.” She turned Percy. “I can’t figure out who you are, though. You don’t seem like a Greek god?”

“I am, though,” Percy replied. “I’m Poseidon.”

“Ooh, so that’s why the fishing gear!” Calypso realized. “But I don’t think the Greeks had tropical shirts quite yet.”

“No, you’re right in that.” Percy shook his head, smiling a bit. “But I’m basing this on the version in the Peter Johnson series. That’s how he was described in it.”

“I didn’t know you have read that too,” Calypso said, “But makes sense. Um, the Poseidon and Athena of the mythology hated each other, though. Not that it’s really my business, but I hope you two are doing fine…?” She asked a bit nervously, not wanting to be the reason for their issues.

“Oh yeah, we are,” Percy confirmed immediately. “It’s just an old joke – back when Annabeth and I were reading the Peter Johnson books I used to say Poseidon is my godly parent and Athena Annabeth’s, and that just kind of stuck with us.”

“Alright.” Calypso accepted Percy’s answer, turning her attention back to Annabeth. “By the way, where did you get that helmet? It definitely looks fancier than most of the plastic ones you see at costume shops.”

“My father collects these things,” Annabeth answered, lifting the helmet from her head for a moment. “I’ve told you he’s also a historian, right? Well, one of his friends wanted to make a replica of the ancient Greek helmets with some modern machines and dad bought this from him. I’m not saying this is 100 per cent accurate but it looks pretty cool, in my opinion.”

“It does,” Calypso confirmed.

“You came with Leo, right?” Percy asked then, to which Calypso nodded. “Where is he? I can’t wait to see his costume; he usually goes for something that is way over the top. Last year he was Hiccup from How to Train your Dragon and he had made a Toothless costume for his dog. I’ve also seen pics of him as Iron Man. Yes, with a full iron costume.”

“I can believe that of him,” Calypso chuckled, imagining Leo in the said costume. “He just went to change into his costume because apparently he couldn’t drive in it. He didn’t reveal what he was going to be, but it does sound like something extravagant.”

“I missed his costume last year but I’ll be sure to have a camera ready when he shows up this time,” Annabeth said happily. Calypso was relieved that the conversation was going this well; she hadn’t known what to expect beforehand because this was the first time she was in the same room with Percy since the ‘incident’. Talking with him now, though, made her realize that holding a grudge wouldn’t be smart and he seemed to think the same way.

“I just realized,” Calypso decided to change the topic, “that I’ve never heard the story of how you guys know Jason and Piper. So how did that happen?”

“It’s a funny story,” Percy started, smiling at the memory. “Jason and I used to be the captains of rivaling soccer teams when we were around 16. Well, one time Jason’s team was visiting us but we were playing in an arena that had just been renovated so I hadn’t been there before. I may have been a bit late from our team meeting and I was a bit lost so I decided to ask one staff lady where I was supposed to go. Somehow she got our teams mixed up and I ended up in the locker room of Jason’s team. Some of Jason’s teammates said that my expression was worth seeing when I realized the mistake but I dunno about that. The funny thing was that somehow the same thing had happened to Jason; he had also been late for the meeting because of traffic or something and he had gotten into my team’s locker room. Well, after the game we had a good laugh about it together and ended up talking about other stuff as well and noticed we have a lot in common. That’s how we became friends. When we moved into the same town, we started training together at least a few times a week.”

“Piper and I didn’t learn to know each other until Jason and she started dating a couple of years ago and they invited Percy to some party where I went with him. To be honest, I was a bit suspicious about her at first because we seemed very different but eventually we learned to respect each other’s qualities. And here we are,” Annabeth added.

“Those are some cool stories,” Calypso said. “It seems like a funny coincidence that somehow we all ended up in this city even though most of us are from somewhere else. Like Leo is from Texas, I am from Greece…” “Speaking of him,” Annabeth had to muffle his laughter with her hand, “I believe we are finally getting some answers about his costume.”

“Oh… my gods” was all Calypso could say when she turned to the direction Annabeth was looking at. “You’re really something else.”

Leo was completely hidden inside his costume, but Calypso could practically hear him grinning at their reactions. The costume looked very much like in the movies; golden (just painted, not real gold, because there was no way Leo could afford something like that) plating forming a droid with big round eyes and an ability to speak lots and lots of different languages: C-3PO from Star Wars.

“Holy shit, dude, that looks so real.” Percy gaped at Leo. “I’m starting to understand why you spent so much time in your room the past few weeks.”

“Why C-3PO, though?” Calypso asked once she managed to put her poker face back on. “Does that have some story behind it?”

“Because, duh, it looks cool!” Leo exclaimed with a mechanical voice from inside his costume. “I dunno, ever since I first saw C-3PO as a kid I thought it would be cool to be able to build something like that. And hey, his ability to translate like all the possible languages is pretty neat. Me? I just know 3.”

“Isn’t it uncomfortable in there, though?” Calypso asked. “That thing must be heavy.”

“Sunshine, I’m always uncomfortable. But this was a childhood dream of mine so I sure as heck am not backing off now,” Leo said with determination.

“A stubborn one, aren’t you?” Calypso stated. “Even I have to admit, though, that you have certainly done some thorough job with it. Hey, I should take photos before I forget! You don’t get to see this every day.”

The others dug their phones up as well and for a while Leo just made silly poses while they took pictures, clearly enjoying the attention his costume got. Eventually he started demanding that Calypso should join him for the photos but she was a bit hesitant at first.

Leo argued: “Come on. Greek mythology meets Star Wars? You don’t see a crossover like that every day.”

“Can’t argue with that, I suppose,” Calypso said and went next to him. “Well, do we have some kind of story for Calypso and C-3PO’s meeting?” she asked as Percy and Annabeth waved at them to look at the camera.

Leo considered her question for a moment. “Oh, how about this? C-3PO somehow ends up on Calypso’s island - because duh, Calypso is cursed so she can’t leave the island…”

“You seem to know surprisingly much about Greek mythology, just saying…” Calypso noted while trying to smile for the photos, resting her hand on the metallic shoulder.

“I told ya, Sunshine, you can blame tía Callida for that…” Leo reminded her. “Anyway, I imagine those two don’t really like each other at first because they’re so different but eventually they learn to respect each other’s skills; C-3PO can translate basically any language and Calypso is good at all kinds of handiworks, which is hard for a droid.”

“And? What happens after that?” Calypso asked curiously.

Leo considered it for a moment. “C-3PO doesn’t really wanna leave Calypso’s island but he has galaxies to save with his friend R2-D2 so he has to go but he promises to come get her afterwards.”

“Aw, Leo, that is kind of sweet,” Calypso commented, suddenly aware of the metal arm that had snuck around her waist. “Does he… does he ever return, though? Shouldn’t that be impossible?”

“For a human, maybe, but he’s a droid,” Leo noted. “Unfortunately during a big battle he blows up badly but the ever so faithful R2-D2 collects the pieces and finds someone who can rebuild him again. And boom, he makes it back and lives happily ever after with his goddess.”

“What’s the term you use when you enjoy a fictional relationship a lot?” Calypso asked. “Shipping?” Annabeth nodded at her. “I don’t know, Leo, to me it sounds like you ship those two. Isn’t that a bit weird?” “What, why would that be weird? I’ve seen people ship…”

“I see these two have gotten into a full on nerd mode again,” Annabeth said quietly to Percy while they were waiting for the flatmates to stop their bickering so they’d be able to take the photos. “Not projecting themselves into their characters, right?”

“No, definitely not,” Percy agreed.

Eventually Leo and Calypso stopped bickering and Annabeth was able to take the pictures. Even if Leo was mostly hidden by his costume, Calypso felt a bit self conscious about the fact that these were the first photos of them together. They did a few goofy poses because Annabeth and Percy told them to, but Calypso thought she probably looked more embarrassed than funny in them.

Once they were done, Leo went to Annabeth who was going through the photos and bowed his head a bit to see them better. “Hey, these do look pretty cool! It’s probably just the lighting but here you look like you’re blushing to some funny comment C-3PO made.”

“Show me!” Calypso yelped nervously and took the phone from Annabeth. When she saw it, she could immediately tell Leo was not wrong; she really was blushing. “Yeah, it’s definitely those candles in the background that do it… And I think it’s pretty warm in here, maybe all the people here heat this room…”

“OK, if you say so,” Leo said but Calypso imagined that he was looking at her suspiciously through his costume.

Trying to get the others’ attention to something else, she said: “So, who else has arrived so far?”

“Nico and Will. I think they went to get some snacks from the dining room,” Piper, who had just entered the room, answered.

“Leo told me that Nico is Jason’s relative, but what about Will?” Calypso asked her.

“Will is Nico’s boyfriend. This is the first time we’re meeting him but they seem very good together. At least he seems to have a grounding effect on Nico, and he actually listens to him, unlike most of us. Um, sorry, it’s a long story, one that I should probably save for another time. Nico may be a bit hard to approach sometimes but he is a very nice guy when you learn to know him. Just… been through a lot. I guess like many of us here. But he seems way happier now,” Piper said, and as if on cue, they could hear some distant laughter coming from the dining room.

“We should start a traumatized college kids’ club,” Leo attempted to joke, and the others hummed in agreement. Maybe she did belong to this group after all, Calypso thought. If only they knew, though…

“This just got cheerful,” Percy said, interrupting Calypso’s thought process. “Who’s up for blue candies? Get them before Will and Nico eat them all.”

“I heard that, Jackson!” Nico entered the room without a warning. “No offense to you or your mom but blue candies aren’t exactly my thing.”

“Hi, Nico,” Percy greeted him, seeming a bit flustered after Nico’s comment. “You haven’t met Calypso, right?” He pointed at her.

“No, I haven’t,” Nico took a quick look at her and crossed his arms over his chest.

“Alright, in that case, this is Calypso Astal. And Calypso, this is Nico di Angelo,” Percy introduced them to each other.

“Nice to meet you,” Calypso approached him, but he seemed to evaluate her for a moment before he took her hand.

“Likewise,” Nico said finally. “I think Jason has mentioned you a few times.”

“Oh. That’s nice,” Calypso said a bit unsurely, like every time she met a new person. The lonely years still had a toll on her, and even though she liked spending time with her friends, meeting new people was always a bit nerve wracking to her. “You’re his relative, right?”

“A distant cousin,” Nico answered. “Yeah, our fathers are related, but I have my mother’s last name and Jason has his.”

“I take it your mother has roots elsewhere, based on the last name?” Calypso asked.

“She was Italian,” Nico shrugged. “I lived there my first years too. But now I can barely remember those times.”

Calypso noticed the use of past tense, but she thought it was probably better to not ask about that in the middle of a party. “Oh. I’ve been to Italy a few times. I’m originally from Greece.”

“What brought you here, then?” Nico asked.

“Dad’s work,” Calypso responded in a tone that told everyone she wouldn’t elaborate on that topic more. It seemed to have become a habit to her.

“Anyway,” Leo, who had managed to stay quiet for a surprisingly long amount of time in Calypso’s opinion, stepped forward and cleared his throat. “Nico, a little bird told me,” he looked at Jason, “that your boyfriend is a Star Wars geek. Is that true?”

Nico took one look at Leo’s costume and his mouth twitched when he realized why Leo was asking. “He is, but don’t let him get started on it, or else he will never stop. Besides, he’s not my boyfriend, I prefer calling him…”

“A significant nuisance?” Will showed up from the dining room, carrying a plate full of food. “Don’t mind him, he just warms up a bit slow.”

“Yes, this is Will,” Nico sighed, addressing those who hadn’t met them before. “Sometimes he’s a nuisance, sometimes he can be quite OK. When he’s having a good day.”

“Same back at you, dear,” Will laughed. “Did I hear someone mention Star Wars, though?”

“You did,” Leo said, stepping forward so Will could see his costume better. Needless to say, Will looked beyond thrilled.

“Oh boy, here we go again,” Nico said quietly before Will even had time to comment on the costume.

“Woah, that must be the best C-3PO costume I’ve seen. And yeah, I’ve seen a few so I don’t compliment you for nothing,” Will assured.

“Thanks, man, I did spend quite a while with it,” Leo said, high fiving Will. “Glad someone here appreciates good things.”

“I still hope you’re not one of those fans who have only seen the most recent movies and not the originals,” Will noted.

“Heck, no!” Leo exclaimed immediately. “The original three for the win! Mom and I used to watch them a lot… um, when I was little. She was a big fan. But the newer ones just don’t feel the same.” Calypso had a feeling Leo had almost said something else, but he had changed his phrasing at the last moment.

“You have a pretty good taste,” Will said approvingly. Then he finally realized he hadn’t even asked Leo and Calypso’s names before getting into the geek mode.

“So, who are you two? I already met Percy and Annabeth earlier but I don’t think I know you guys yet.”

“I’m Leo Valdez, and this is my, um, flatmate, Calypso Astal,” Leo introduced. Calypso hoped there was a better word to describe their relationship than a ‘flatmate’ but at the moment it was probably the best and the safest option there was.

“Flatmates, huh?” Will repeated. “How did that happen?”

“I was in a hurry to find a roof over my head so I put in the application that I also accept mixed flats,” Calypso replied. “I didn’t meet Leo beforehand because, um, that would have been a bit difficult to arrange in this case, but it worked out OK.” Calypso noticed Leo was looking at her from the corner of his eye, and she realized she had never even talked about that option before. The truth was that she had had to plan her leaving very thoroughly so her father wouldn’t notice and she had driven to Indianapolis as fast as possible, with no time for second guessing.

“And my flat happened to have a room free because our boy Jason decided to move in with Beauty Queen,” Leo added to that story. “It’s really no stranger than that.”

“Oh, right, someone must have mentioned that you and Jason used to be flatmates,” Will recalled. “I just didn’t connect the dots.”

Jason had apparently finished welcoming the rest of the guests because he joined the group in the living room. “That reminds me, I don’t think I’ve asked you, Calypso, if Leo still leaves his dishes undone and if he has empty milk cartons in the fridge.”

“He used to do that?” Calypso asked with amusement. “After seeing his room that’s not so hard to picture, but no, he’s been pretty tidy in the common area. Although one time he bribed me to do his dishes for him in exchange for some of his food.”

“It was a good deal!” Leo protested. “You didn’t have to cook and you also got to taste some Valdez’ sizzling hot quesadillas so I’d say it was a win-win. Besides, you didn’t seem to have anything against that.”

“Alright, I will admit the quesadillas were pretty good,” Calypso conceded. “But a true gentleman offers them without even asking. Well, other than that he’s been OK,” she told Jason with a playful twinkle in her eye.

“I guess he really is able to change his habits, then,” he replied. “At least when the flatmate is someone he...”

Before Jason had time to finish his sentence, Leo intervened: “Folks, do we really have to be talking about my cleaning habits in front of people I don’t know? The first impressions are important, especially when it comes to Supersized McShizzle!”

“We’re just being honest, Repair Boy.” Calypso couldn’t resist booping his metal covered nose. Apparently she just didn’t know how to not cross the line with this boy, she sighed in her mind.

“Is that all? Where’s the feisty Sunshine I know?,” Leo said in a low tone, so the others could barely hear his comment, coming out almost flirty.

“Shut up,” Calypso answered equally quietly but held her gaze at him.

“Ahem,” they suddenly heard Piper’s voice behind them. “In case you’ve stopped with the flirting, I’d like you to meet a couple of people.”

Calypso turned to see the newcomers and as she recognized the Hunter badges both of them had attached to their shirts, something in her mind just suddenly turned off.

[subaruthegamer]

About My OCs (Colby and Jack)

This is my fantasy, so bear with me here.

Colby Roberts

“Colby... I can’t do this...” - me, a few weeks after we have an argument

“I still want you anyway... because I’m madly in love with you...” - Colby

For those who don’t know, Colby is Jack’s son, so if you wonder where he gets those looks from, here’s my answer. 

Colby was born to a extremely wealthy heiress, who’s father was practically unknown because, he just vanished off the face of the earth, and since he was born to a wealthy family, it didn’t take long before he starting falling into the wrong crowd... with his drug habits starting to catch up at his adult years. His drug habit, oddly enough, didn’t affect him as much as the doctors thought - because they were thinking, surely, he’d have either died from an overdose, or somehow turned into a vegetable. But yet, that didn’t happen. And there was nothing conclusive with his bloodwork. Since he was filed on charges, they gave him two options (which, as far as I can tell, seem to be the mother’s choices) - either rot in prison for possession, or go into the military.

You can pretty much tell which option he went for.

Colby enlisted at the military, which at 18... he had plenty of time to start shaping his body - and he was a genius too. His scores were practically almost record breaking - considering the record was from 16 years ago! Colby is an expert tactician, and when you added hand-to-hand combat training plus all the muscle he gained from training... he was practically a Spartan.

During his time, he met Randy when, by chance, he was a captain - and Randal was a second lieutenant. In fact, Colby and Randal felt something between them. In fact, at one point, Colby once told me that if you put him and Randal in a room all alone at some point during the night, you might be able to hear Randy’s pleasuring at taking Colby on. However, it wasn’t just at a relationship level - they really were an unstoppable force.

Rather disappointingly, Colby resigned from the military after serving 8 years - and ended up heading back to Riverview... and somehow, relapsing again.

A year later, Colby ended up in my care as I was his sober companion after his relapse, and to be honest, when I met the guy, he was honestly more intimidating than I ever imagined. Sort of like the Hulk, but scaled down, and human.

To be completely honest, the first 2 weeks, he had been avoiding me since he insisted he didn’t need my help - but I stayed - because I wanted to get him to open up about himself. But - when you live with a 230+ lb man, you’d kind of want to stay out of his way when he simply won’t budge. Didn’t stop me from trying though. Sure enough, I gradually got him to be able to quietly strum his six-string guitar on the occasional night.

Our relationship took a little bit of an unexpected leap, because one night, Colby was invited to the family dinner, and this being a part where the father walked out on him... it lead to them being quite verbally abusive to him about it. Of course, we walked out and headed home with them still being pretty abusive... and hearing his mental health shattering into a million pieces. By that time though, I’d been his companion for what was stipulated, but because I didn’t want to leave him in that state, tried to renew the contract.

The lawyer said... no. So I ended up lying much to the bemusement of my therapist. 

I was wondering if I was going to get away with it when I still accompanied him to his musical composition job (guitars and pianos are his favourite) but I had to remind him at the end of the day that I still was his sober companion.

“Like hell you are.” Colby shouted. “You sure as hell haven’t been for at least a few weeks.” Much to my shock, I thought I had had it for a moment.

A sigh came from him shortly after. “I knew you lied when I called her lawyer the next day after you said he had extended the contract.”

I tried to figure out what I was going to say next. “Colby, I...” 

“I’m not angry over this.” Colby inched forward towards me to corner me between him and a wall. “I’m actually quite touched... since you saw the state that I was in after that... so for a while after that I adopted a more... aggressive mood.”

I was actually frozen stiff because he had cornered me between him and the wall with both bulging arms at the side of me.

“Until I found out you had been lying last week, I started to pull you along a little to see if you would realise that I was fine and moved on... but instead... you stayed. Didn’t occur to me that at the same time you were also having feelings for me... and I was still in denial until I gave into your feelings...”

Colby gradually moved his left hand off the wall and started feeling my back down.

“So... I want to offer you something... you stay with me... and we’ll see where our feelings for each other go... sound good?” Colby whispered.

At this point, I could hardly control myself, and Colby knew I was begging to be given the treatment that I’ve sorely needed. I was still gay at that time, but my love life had gone nowhere... and I was fidgeting a little because this was practically a dream come true for me.

“I’ll take that as a yes...” Colby later leaned in and gave me a rather sloppy lick on my face. And the next thing I knew he had leaned even closer to start making out with me.

“Why did you think I was this aggressive with you... you are so damn cute...”

After work, we gradually continued to have feelings for each other much to the disgust from my classmates with that lick.

So, we dated, we laughed, we cuddled, we had our idea of hunter and prey... which I have to say, was one of the very sexual relieving moments we’ve had together. When that happened, Colby flew up the ladder to being a hit movie director, and I wasn’t trailing far behind with my (slightly stalled) career in journalism as I was being promoted, and transferred to Lucky Palms.

Sounds perfect, you might think. Actually, in a way, it wasn’t. Because Randy showed up asking for Colby. More on that in his side of the story.

Jack Winter

“I wasn’t expecting myself to be this... swept away with you.” - Jack, slowly leaning into me for a spot where he has the advantage on me

“Yet... here you are, wanting me as much as everyone else we know.” - me, trying to find a way for him to stop but realising I’m going to be doomed

With Jack, complications turn into one story, so trying to analyse him is almost easier said than done - simply because: he’s a pure-bred demon. 

How demons work in my world, is that demons are in a world separate to ours - they have their own world much like fantasies. How they go into human bodies is through the sort of capsule that is a remote link to a human body. Some demons don’t use the bodies at all because they’re more nature demons, but the human demons - those are a different story. Jack is the latter, and one of the more emotionally manipulative kind. It works like this: he takes a body - steps on anyone’s toes and makes them make terrible decisions or suffer a embarrassing (but not fatal - he’s not that cruel) fate. All targets are random, so one day, a wealthy bachelor might suffer an a problem one day, and then the next, it could be someone like me. 

When Jack just “appeared” (what Randy and I joke about how he was created), he was one hell of a rollercoaster to deal with - he was having a hellva lot of fun slowly manipulating people into doing stuff they couldn’t realise. A hell of a time for him, after all, with all the powers he had access to, the fun was going to keep rolling like a Bugatti Chiron with an endless supply of fuel. You wouldn’t run out of it, you’d keep going.

That changed when Jack met Colby’s mother - when Jack was about to ensnare his powers on her, for some reason, she fell in love with her. Why that happened, we may never know, but the next morning, she saw a gorgeous hunk of a man sitting at her desk - which took some explaining on Jack’s part (that old charmer) to what was going on. Thankfully, she decided to not alert anyone, and allowed him to stay in her house - and getting to know that mysterious man who had suddenly appeared. Over that time, they both got together, had long walks, and spent a few days being intimate with each other - and satisfying each other as well. The only people who knew the truth about Jack were; Colby’s mother, the staff at the house, and a lawyer handling her estate. The romance didn’t last as long as she hoped - because one day, Jack was summoned to go back into the demon world, much to her sadness (the one time she was in complete love, according to Jack). Until she was unwell one morning and found out she was pregnant - and decided to keep the baby.

So 30 plus years later, when she died, he came back hoping to continue everything... instead, she died of an untreatable cancer tumor... with a son that had grown up to be living in Lucky Palms after moving from Riverview. The lawyer had a moment alone and discussed what had happened in those 30 years - her death, and her son... as well as some last letters to him about getting him to “finish what she started.” With that said, Jack had no idea what to do on the day he knocked on the Lucky Palms door - at that time, we were just engaged, and I was quite shocked when Jack said he was Colby’s father even though he looked quite young.

Obviously, it wasn’t without it’s shortcomings. Since Colby practically had so many questions, it really did beg the question... who was this person who looked, in age, practically close to a point where it wouldn’t make any sense?

So, at dinner, the three of us (in a rather tense manner) had dinner that I had decided to cook. While we were discussing it, we started to notice a few similarities in habits and preferences. Except on Jack’s side, they were much more prominent when he managed to somehow tempt me to get close to him. 

When he was planning on spending the night in Randy’s old room (which was empty since at the time, Deacon and Randy were experimenting with sleeping together), Jack started to tempt himself with me. He started to get closer and closer, and before we knew it, Jack had me pinned on the bed and began his near identical and significantly rougher (sloppier kisses, sloppier licks and so on) but then, he also backed off thankfully 10 seconds before Colby walked in. Before you asked, I did tell Colby about the similar interactions he did in that one move, but obviously, we were still skeptical. So, with Jack’s permission, we managed to withdraw blood from him and using Adam’s futuristic DNA sequencer, managed to get a father-son match with Jack and Colby.

Before you asked how the two finally settled their differences (and have Colby get all the questions he needed), Deacon suggested we put them in a rage room to settle it. Sure enough, I had to pay for damages, because, well, they did put a “few” holes in the wall when they were done. And a new set of clothes.

[twistedintern]

(Credit to @VILSWIFE on Twitter for the questionnaire, and special thanks to @appleflowerwritings​ for bringing this to my attention!) Time to get back into the swing of things, and what better way to do that than by expanding upon yume ship lore? Hopefully this doesn’t come off as weird...

(Although... I am loath to admit that I’d do better to wait until the next NRC Unified Exams before taking the plunge like this. I suppose I can always revise my responses to reflect official lore later on.)

“Person A” is Kyuu. “Person B” is Trein.

Question (1) - As mentioned in Kyuu’s personal chronicle, the two met in passing when Kyuu first awoke in a empty coffin in Night Raven’s Mirror Chamber. Their encounter was so brief that it almost didn’t register in Kyuu’s mind (she was too busy being terrified by Crowley’s appearance in the dark to focus on much else). It would only be about a week later when she was assigned to work with him that she would realize that Crowley was not alone when he discovered her; on that occasion he was accompanied by a stately man and a cat. The two formally became acquainted that day over tea and snacks.

Question (2) - Crowley described the sort of person Trein was to Kyuu before she had the chance to meet him. As the headmaster is the type who’s always on the receiving end of a lecture from the professor, he exaggerated the latter’s rigidity and inability to get along with others. Kyuu had terrible first experiences with his colleagues, so she took the headmaster’s words as gospel and came to dread meeting him one-on-one.

...But when they did meet, Trein was firm in explaining to her why others perceive him as they do. Kyuu realized she misjudged him and felt horrible about it for some time afterwards. Her current impression of him is founded not on fear, but deep respect. For her, he represents propriety and discipline--a constant in a chaotic new world.

Question (3) - Trein himself did not think much of Kyuu when Lucius came across her that night she appeared in Twisted Wonderland. He initially suspected she was a runaway who stole away to the school grounds--the sort of person who would prove to be a problem for the staff of Night Raven in the short-term. But once Crowley relayed her peculiar state of affairs during a general meeting--and that she would be taken on as an “intern”--he was a bit surprised (and irritated by the headmaster’s rash executive decision). But Lucius had taken to her, and his dear companion was nothing if not a superb judge of character.

He figured her to be bumbling or inattentive or immature; younger folk are always difficult in some way or another. She proved him wrong the first time they sat down to chat. She was very much a breath of fresh air, she was respectful, humble, and took an active interest in his work despite being half his own age. He appreciates her company and values her as an individual.

(Questions (4) & (5) have been omitted because I’ve not yet thought about this.)

Question (6) - Kyuu’s feelings for Trein gradually grew so intense as to occupy her every waking thought: he was her first love; she’d never before felt like this towards another. A confession wasn’t a question of “if”, but a matter of “when”--something Kyuu intended to stay for as long as possible. Fate had other plans, naturally... Kyuu made the mistake of working late with Trein at the latter’s residence one particularly stormy night. When she became cognizant of the hour and made to leave, Trein urged her to stay the night. She conceded: any attempt to brave the storm would end in disaster. Their proximity was enough to break Kyuu’s resolve, especially when it occurred to her that he couldn’t reject her... or, that he wouldn’t leave her at the mercy of winds and rain.

Trein did not reject her... but he did not express that he reciprocated her feelings, either. He didn’t give her a response; the only indication that he heard her was that he remained still while she spoke.

A number of days would pass, with Kyuu taking pains to avoid Trein at any and all costs. Trein would be the one to approach her; all the while, he behaved as though the incident never happened in the first place. Weeks later, when the two were working at his residence, Kyuu recognized a familiar warmth: contentment. A feeling of peace; an acceptance of herself and the incident.

Then Trein broached the topic once more.

His voice was calm; he sounded neither resentful nor accusatory. Every nerve in Kyuu’s body urged her to run away--she couldn’t bear shameful weight of her foolhardy sentiments. He was about to reject her... but she stood her ground. It was her just desserts, in a way, for allowing misguided feelings to dictate her behavior.

Then he quietly took her hand and gave her a gentle, small smile:

“I hope you can accept my sincerest apologies. The fact of the matter is, I could not answer you at the time. I had a poor grasp of my own feelings when you had the courage and resolve to speak your heart. Know I’ve passed countless hours since in self-reflection. Romance, intimacy... love--these are not things to be taken lightly, after all....

“I’ve grown quite fond of you. If you’ll have me, I should like to give this--the two of us--a try.”

Question (7) - Kyuu loves Trein’s olden manner, strict sense of discipline, and passion for his work. Trein finds Kyuu’s diligence, honesty to a fault, and humility to be endearing.

Question (8) - Both enjoy looking after cats (though this extends to other animals for Kyuu), reading, and playing chess (which they rarely do together because Kyuu’s a mediocre player at best). They share love for history as well.

Question (9) - Both Kyuu and Trein look down upon truant and delinquent behavior. They believe rules exist to be followed.

Questions (10) & (11) - Between the two, Kyuu is much more likely to seek affection and company. She’s not pushy or demanding about it--in fact, she’s generally unwilling to put her desires into words, especially in public. (She finds couples who engage in gratuitous PDAs rude.) Her gestures lack the grace of Trein’s rare but deliberate actions. Trein will express his love with measured care; never failing to demonstrate the utmost formality and poise when doing so. Still, he only takes the initiative when he’s certain Kyuu requires reassurance, though both are quite confident in their bond. Oftentimes, they’re just content to be around one another.

Question (12) - Trein, though both are early birds.

Question (13) - Kyuu will talk more if something’s on her mind, but Trein can speak on his profession for hours if given the chance (Kyuu is more than happy to listen to him during those times).

Question (14) - They’re both reserved when it comes to showing affection in public. Kyuu tends to be more affectionate in private, however.

Question (15) - A lovely dinner at a fancy restaurant followed by a quiet evening reading and engaging in hushed discussion about any number of things in the company of Lucius.

Question (16) - A library.

(Questions (17) & (18) have been omitted.)

Question (19) - Trein. Kyuu’s pride keeps her from apologizing for however long she feels like she’s in the right (which isn’t long).

Question (20) - ...Yes. A son and a daughter. Both take after their father in terms of manner and diligence, but they possess their mother’s empathy and willingness to accommodate the needs of others.

Question (21) - When Trein first asks Kyuu to call him by his given name.

Question (22) - Trein a cat, Kyuu a fox.

Question (23) - Kyuu.

Question (24) - Probably Trein, but he doesn’t cook much.

Question (25) - Kyuu enjoys a bevy of different foods; Trein is more reserved in his tastes. While Trein has yet to take to any of Kyuu’s favorite dishes, Kyuu absolutely loves Trein’s favorite dish, vichyssoise: it was a comfort food of her childhood, one that she associates with feelings of security and family.

(Question (26) has been omitted.)

Question (27) - Kyuu would gift Trein books and tea blends, whereas Trein might give her antiques or small trinkets.

Question (28) - They’d just spend the day together doing small, meaningful things--nothing extravagant.

Question (29) - Trein.

Question (30) - Neither one is prone to getting sick. Whomever is well will keep close watch over the ailing partner, doing all manner of things to ensure their speedy recovery such as monitoring their temperature; and preparing foods and serving them meals in bed.

[gottlem]

you belong with me (gigi x crystal)

a/n - some of this isnt proofread so im SORRY if it gets messy at the end it is literally 3am. also this is my first fic so pls be kind i dont know what im doing like at all. (also keep a look at for slight jackie x jan) this was inspired by someone wanting a fanfic based off of you belong with me by taylor swift and i loved the idea so here we are and i am sorry.

-----

Gigi and Crystal are best friends. Growing up living so close to each other made them an absolute power-duo, for years on end they have been inseparable at all times. When they were younger, Gigi would sleep over at Crystals every single weekend and neither of them would ever get sick of eachother. They spent their nights giggling at nothing and making pinky promises “to never ever not be friends” and that they would be each other's “favourite person” forever, because they didn’t know that life can get a tad bit more… complicated when you start to get a little older. Living in ignorant bliss of the impending doom of high school, they would spend their time in their own little bubble, making the most of each other's company. In their minds, it wasn’t a question whether or not they loved each other. The answer was there without even having to ask the question, but of course they were too young to fully understand anyway.

In her early teens, Crystal would slowly realise that if young Gigi and Crystal were a boy and a girl, everyone would have joked about them being together with them being so close, but since they had been two little girls, they were just best friends in everyone’s eyes. Crystal would also slowly realise that ‘just best friends’ isn’t really where she wanted to stay with Gigi, but that truth wouldn’t come for another few years. She learned about the term ‘lesbian’ when there was a rumour in the 7th grade that she was one. It hadn’t fully occurred to her that girls could like girls in that way, but when she did google what it meant on a random wednesday night, it seemed so obvious. Natural. Of COURSE girls can like girls, they’re so pretty! Needless to say, it didn’t take her very long to understand that maybe the rumour was actually true- but nobody needed to know that. Not even Gigi. Definitely not Gigi. To be honest, she didn’t know where her friend even stood on topics like this, but they had never even talked about boys, so she absolutely didn’t want to risk bringing up girls. 

In 7th grade, Gigi already knew what a lesbian was. She heard talks about her best friend being into girls, but she paid it no mind. If Crystal was gay, she’d tell her, right? Gigi could be trusted with that kind of stuff. Either way, she wouldn’t bring it up. Maybe Crystal hadn’t even heard about it, maybe she was completely oblivious. Yeah. That must be it. It was around this time Gigi realised she herself might like girls. But it had nothing to do with Crystal. Nothing at all. In fact, the topic of relationships had never even come up between them. In 8th grade, Gigi started to get little crushes, exclusively on girls. This was the year she decided she was a lesbian. By then, the rumours about Crystal were long forgotten, but her friend’s sexuality was almost always in the back of Gigi’s mind. Crystal had never expressed interest in boys (or girls for that matter), but then again neither had Gigi. She knew she would have to come out to Crystal at some point - there was no WAY she was hiding a future girlfriend from her best friend. 

One night in the summer before 9th grade, Gigi slept over at Crystal’s house. Just like old times, except now both girls had quite a big secret they were hiding from each other, completely unbeknownst to the fact that it was the exact same secret. Gigi was going to tell her by the end of the night. She was SURE of it. The hours passed like minutes and before the girls knew it, the sun had completely set outside and the moon shone down into Crystal’s brightly coloured bedroom (some would think it’s decor is all over the place, but Gigi would describe it as being perfectly Crystal). The pair had settled into a slow, but somehow not very sleepy conversation despite the time, by around 1am. If Gigi was going to tell her, it was now or never. Before she could change her mind, Gigi had looked Crystal in the eye and started with “I really need to tell you something”. She had rambled on about how much she trusted Crystal, and how much she wanted her to accept this. Crystal didn’t have any idea what Gigi could possibly be leading up to, but she did absoluetly not expect to hear “I’m gay, Crys” coming from her friend’s mouth at 1 in the morning. 

The confession left Crystal speechless. Of course she didn’t judge Gigi, she was gay too! She was just shocked. How long had Gigi known? How long have they both known and didn’t tell eachother? It took Gigi’s tearful eyes and furrowed brows to tear Crystal out of her overthinking. Shit. She hadn’t even responded. 

“Crystal. Are you mad? Oh my god you’re mad aren’t you? Or like weirded out? I can go if you want. I get if you’re like uncomfortable with me staying over now-”

“Gi”

“-I don’t have to sleep in  your room. I’m sorry I told you. We never talk about this kind of stuff why did I think telling you would be ok? I-”

“Gigi!” Crystal shook Gigi’s shoulders to get her attention. Her eyes were bloodshot and Crystal cursed her brain for short circuiting when it did. She knew she had to tell Gigi now. 

“Me too” her voice came out as a whisper, but it cut through the silence of the room with ease. It was Gigi’s turn to be stunned into silence. Neither of the girls said anything. Crystal just hugged her friend. She didn’t stop until they woke up in the morning. That week, Crystal let her eyes linger on her friend a little longer than normal every time they passed each other at school. She found herself re-typing text messages and doing anything to speak to Gigi. She knew what all this meant, but she would not tell Gigi. It was  just a little crush. Everybody gets little crushes.

10th grade rolls around far too quickly than anyone would like to accept. Gigi and Crystal are as close as ever. Well, as close as ‘just friends’ can be, much to Crystal’s (hidden) dismay. Jan and Jackie, who had become very good friends with the pair in 9th grade, would constantly tease Crystal about her not-so-small-anymore crush on Gigi when the other girl wasn’t looking. Of course, Crystal hadn’t told them, but it wasn’t necessarily difficult for the couple to figure it out when she would stare at Gigi every chance she got. The teasing only got more painful about a month into 10th grade, when Gigi started dating the new student, Nicky. Suddenly, Crystal felt herself become awkward around her best friend - someone she used to feel so free with. It was easier to pretend she wasn’t falling in love with her when she was single. But now, now she had someone to be jealous of. Someone to remind her that clearly she’s just not good enough for Gigi. Every now and again, Gigi wouldn’t show up to their usual lunch table, leaving Crystal to third wheel with Jan and Jackie. On these days, Crystal didn’t bother looking for Gigi, she knew who she was with, and frankly she couldn’t bear to see them together. When she first saw the couple kiss, it made her stomach drop. Gigi was waiting for the bus when her friend sat next to her and made easy conversation. They were smiling and laughing until Nicky’s car (because of course she could drive) came to pick Gigi up. When she got in the car, the couple shared a moment far too intimate for Crystal’s liking. She pried her eyes away until she heard the car leave.

By Winter break, Gigi and Nicky had been dating for three months. Crystal wasn’t very familiar with how their relationship was going - she knew it would only hurt her if she always asked Gigi about it. If Gigi wanted to talk to her about it, she would bring it up, and apparently Gigi really didn’t want to talk to her about it. Crystal was fine with this. Well, Crystal was fine with this until there was a knock on her door at 11:58pm on a December night coming from the one and only Gigi Goode. Who was crying. Like, really crying. Crystal took the girl's hand and rushed her to her room, sitting her on the bed they had shared (platonically!!!!) many times before. She let her cry. Crystal had learned in her 16 years of life that sometimes, you just gotta cry. Still, the sight of her friend sobbing so much wasn’t an easy one to digest, nor was it one she had seen often. 

After god only knows how long, Gigi’s cries had died down, she was in Crystal’s pyjamas (which Crystal thought was too much for her brain to handle right now, but considering the situation she pushed these thoughts the the back of her mind, as if she hadn’t tried that for the past year anyway) and she was holding a glass of ice water between both hands. It was Crystal who broke the silence. 

“What’s up?” She was quiet, scared that speaking too loudly would cause the fragile girl infront of her to break down again. But she didn’t. Her brows furrowed and she had a look on her face that Crystal couldn’t quite place, something she wasn’t used to by any means after being friends for a good ten years now. 

“It’s nothing. Me and Nicky just had an argument”

“And this is why you came to my house in hysterics in the middle of the night in Winter. Ok, sure.” She deadpans. Gigi gave her a look as if to say ‘you bitch’ but there’s a fondness behind it nonetheless. 

“Ok fine. It’s more than nothing. It feels like all we ever do is argue anymore. We do like, two things; we argue or we mess around, yknow? And I’m kind of sick of it! It’s like I’m here for her to make out with and that’s all that we have going for us. That’s the only good thing. And shouldn’t there be more? Shouldn’t there be romance, and dates and shouldn’t we be able to be stupid in front of eachother and-” She started to cry again, though not as intense as before, definitely enough to stop her little rant. Crystal thought it was for the better, if she heard anymore of that she might start crying herself. She could give Gigi all of that. Hell, she already did for the most part.

Crystal was torn. She wanted to tell Gigi she should break up with Nicky. She knew it would be for the better, for both of them, but she still felt like it would be selfish of her to give that advice. She didn’t want to accidentally take advantage of Gigi, with her being in such a vulnerable space. So she tells Gigi the facts - well, she didn’t really have much (or any) experience so they could be completely false, but to her they seemed quite solid.

“Couples have honeymoon phases. They can’t keep their hands off each other because they’re so obsessed with this new person they have all to themselves and people get carried away. It’s human nature. But that dies down, or it should. Eventually. Couples argue. It’s healthy to disagree and make up every now and again but there comes a point where it’s just too much. I think you know where that point is. I can’t make it up for you, it’s not my relationship, babe” Crystal let the pet name slip without thinking too much about it. She was tired and it was a school night, and her friend was upset. She told herself it meant nothing. Gigi hugged her and fell asleep quite quickly, exhausted from her emotions having taken over.

Nicky was beautiful. Drop dead gorgeous. Painfully stunning. This was a fact, this was understood by boys and girls alike, gay straight or bi. Gigi was lucky to have her, or maybe she wasn’t. Crystal didn’t know anymore. She could see why Gigi had clearly fallen so hard for the french girl, with her fashion forward style and her thick accent that Crystal had no option to admit was just plain sexy. Again, this was all fact. Gigi was also beautiful. That’s why everyone loved them together. Aesthetically, their relationship just worked. But Crystal had a tear stained pillow and a broken girl to prove that aesthetics mean nothing unless there’s love there too. And Crystal loves Gigi. She always has, and probably always will. Crystal didn’t like Nicky. She didn’t like the knowing glares she would get as they passed each other in the hall. It was as if the french girl could read her damn mind and she didn’t like it one bit. It wound her up to no end. She also didn’t like how she would argue with Gigi until she would cry and cry and run to Crystal’s house, sobbing into her pillow. It became routine. The pillow was pushed to the side, specifically for when Gigi came to cry her mascara onto it. Nicky would always apologise the next day. Gigi would always accept it. Crystal felt more and more hopeless.

A few months later, the routine continues. Gigi sends Crystal a text one night in February at around midnight, to say she’s coming over (a new-ish development in the all too familiar routine) and Crystal prepares the signature glass of water and the tear-soaked pillow for her friend. When she opens the door after Gigi’s knocking, she is met with no tears. Actually, she is met with a smile. Crystal just stands there. Gigi walks casually up the staircase and into Crystal’s bedroom, taking the glass of water and sitting cross-legged on her bed, hugging the pillow, but not for emotional support - because it's just comfier. Crystal follows her, a million questions on the tip of her tongue. She sits opposite to Gigi.

“I broke up with Nicky”

Oh.

OH.

“Just now? Oh my god, are you ok?” Crystal hears herself replying before she even knows what to say, she’s glad she didn’t say something stupid.

“No actually, I broke up with her this morning. I was talking to Jan and Jackie about it earlier, but you weren’t there. Plus, I wanted to tell you like this anyways. Here. Feels like tradition. Like it’s come full circle.”

“Are you sure you’re ok though?” It’s honestly creepy to see Gigi so calm over Nicky, after all the tears she had spilled before.

“Yeah. I think it truly ended a long time ago.”

“Oh.”

It’s silent. Crystal feels tense. Like there’s something else to be said, like something else is going to happen. And she’s right. Because when she looks up, Gigi is staring at her, pupils wide and ears red. Crystal feels like she’s under a microscope. A breath gets stuck in her throat. Gigi giggles at it. She giggles and she inches forward. She inches forward and lifts her hands. She lifts her hands to Crystal’s face. And they’re kissing. They’re kissing and Crystal is smiling. When they pull away, Gigi has plump lips and a dumb smile on her face. Crystal loves it. They sit there for a minute, just staring at each other. Letting each other give the moment a second to sink in. When it does, they laugh. And then they talk about it. And then they kiss some more. And then they fall asleep. So what if it took Gigi a bad relationship to see what was standing right infront of her? Now they have each other, and that isn’t going to change.

[thejustmaiden]

I'm not against SessRin as the ship itself, rather I'm against the idea of it being canon. I wouldn't even care if InuYasha was of a more mature genre. Yes, the trope is very popular even in hentai, yaoi and yuri. However, all of these genres are explicitly for adults - the type of audience that are well capable of seperating between fiction and real life, knowing what's wrong and right. Yasahime's still cleary targeted at a younger audience - kids that can still be easily affected by fiction.

Hey, nonnie! I really appreciate the ask. Apologies for the slight delay. 😊

I read what you had to say, and I think you bring up a very valid point that I don't see being discussed enough quite honestly.

Because you're right, Inuyasha is geared towards a younger audience. That explains why it was the very first anime for many of us growing up.

Ironically enough, some of you who like me stayed up late to catch it on TV remember that Inuyasha came out on a network called "Adult Swim" of all things. haha (I gather that had more to do with the occasional foul language than anything else.) Cartoon Network- what Adult Swim is known as during the daytime- shows children's programs and Inuyasha wouldn't have been exactly appropriate on there either.

Now let's take a quick look at the other anime shows I remember that would come out on the line-up along with Inuyasha. Cowboy Bepop and Ghost in the Shell are the first two that come to memory. If you aren't familiar with those, readers, I encourage you to look them up and see how they're described in comparison to Inuyasha. They both tackle some pretty dark and heavy adult themes. Inuyasha, on the other hand, is based off a shonen manga aimed at young teens, boys specifically.

I'm not personally familiar with the yaoi and yuri genres myself, but from what I do know, a lot of their stories center around sexual romance and homoeroticism. Inuyasha may include some romance, but by no means does the author insert explicitly sexual elements into her story. Fans who are mature to handle that kind of content can if they so choose to-- bring on the fan fiction and fan art! But can the series itself be justified in doing so? Well, I hope not since the average Inuyasha viewer is only just a teenager.

You're correct, fiction is capable of influencing and shaping how some kids learn to view and make sense of certain events. I'm going to give you a real life example here. Keep in mind, readers, that this is an extreme case that obviously wouldn't apply to everyone or every situation. The purpose of recounting this tale is to demonstrate that young minds are more vulnerable to the influences around them, be them real or imagined.

Years ago there used to be this internet urban legend called "The Slender Man." In 2014, these two 12-year old girls (so roughly the same age many of us started watching Inuyasha) became obsessed with this fictional character and wanted to prove to everyone he existed. In order to do that, they made up their minds to kill one of their classmates to please him. They ended up stabbing the victim numerous times, but she somehow miraculously survived. The two girls who were found guilty of this crime ended up being admitted into mental health institutions. Please feel free to read up more on this yourself. It sounds creepy, I know, but how the community came together to support the victim and her recovery was a touching ending to such a horrific story.

Like I already mentioned, this was an extreme case that almost resulted in murder. Death, however, isn't the only bad outcome that can occur. Child abuse in all its complex forms is a serious outcome, too. It should go without saying that no child watching Inuyasha should accept the idea of a young girl (like themselves but maybe younger) being pursued later once she's "old enough" by the same male authority figure who was her main protector during their travels. You could tell Rin felt legitimately safe and happy for the first time in a long time while in his company. I also like to wonder if that's because Sesshomaru reminded her of someone she knew before her family was killed. But who really knows? After all, kids are very trusting by nature. Let's be honest, the happy-go-lucky Rin would've followed just about anyone who saved her! It just happened to be Sesshomaru, which of course I'm grateful for. So tell me again, why does this protector-ward dynamic they've got going on need to turn romantic?

Seriously, why are viewers expecting a romance to happen anyway? It's not like we have been given any solid indication to suggest that these two are destined for it. Allow me to explain why I believe that is. Sessrin fans anticipate a romance in their future despite the lack of foreshadowing, because this trope IS popular. (But only in series geared towards adults- like you said, nonnie.) In other words, it's been so engrained in our minds that it's a completely normal direction we should come to expect a relationship between an older man and a young girl/woman to take. So even though it hasn't been hinted at much if at all, it's apparently bound to happen regardless.

A young woman who decides to be with an older man isn't the issue here, BUT there's a fine line and at times the stories we tell will tread that line and test its boundaries. Case in point: shipping Sesshomaru with "Adult Rin" although we've only met and gotten to know her as a young girl up until now. In many instances, adult!Rin supposedly only has to mean she's old enough to bear children. If it was the norm for a girl to have kids at 15 or 16 in Feudal Japan, then that must mean we should not only tolerate it but celebrate it too, right?

Yes, fiction is a creative outlet to explore and push the boundaries from time to time, but we must be careful of what messages we're sending and who the target audience is. Would it really be wise to portray in a positive light a teenage girl getting pregnant with one of the people who helped raised her's babies on a show for teens? That's not my idea of a wholesome family lesson I'd ever want to teach my kids or have them learn elsewhere.

What we're essentially doing is telling the young Inuyasha viewers that it's totally normal to sexualize and romanticize a young girl's future without her say. That it's okay to speak for her and decide that's what her character would want even if we haven't met this adult version of her yet. What about Rin's hopes and dreams? How about we wait to see how she is as a grown-up first before we come to such big conclusions. Wouldn't you say you're jumping the gun a bit, shippers?

Nobody is saying you can't picture it, alright, but to claim it's the only obvious progression- because evidently there must be one for some reason?- of the relationship Rin's formed with Sesshomaru is absolutely absurd. If that's the case, then basically all the other "who's Sesshomaru's baby mama" theories are just as plausible as yours if not more so.

Also, guys, we really ought to stop stating that Sesshomaru will never have the capacity to care for another human being besides Rin like it's a fact. I'm aware that to many the appeal of this ship is that she was the first one to break through that icy exterior of his, so that must translate to a love that transcends and what not. If she wasn't a child he guarded like his own first and foremost, then this ship could have potential. That's not the case though, so moving right along!

Right, so who says his affection towards humans has to stop at Rin? Why can't the mom- if there is a mom- be some new character? That's really not reaching- yes, even for Sesshomaru. Knowing Rin, she's probably the one who introduced them! Plus, it's not like we don't have other canon sources that already show us Sesshomaru coming to the aid of humans. He has saved and protected Kagome on a few occasions that we know of so far, as well as Kohaku. And no, he didn't just protect him because Rin asked him to. Perhaps that was why he did at first, but please give Sesshomaru credit where credit is due. He is not the cold heartless demon we once believed him to be. How else do you think he is capable of activating Tenseiga's powers? Yeah, no, Sesshomaru grew to care for that kid, and Kokahu wouldn't have stuck around him for as long as he did if he didn't believe Sesshomaru didn't have his best interests at heart. Well, in Sesshomaru's own special little way that is. 😆

I got a little sidetracked- my bad! I suppose it's all relevant when you think about it. Alrighty, nonnie, I hope I adressed your ask the way you wanted. Please feel free to drop by again! 🖖

Reminder: Do not plan to engage in discourse on this blog if you are going to be disrespectful. The views I'm expressing aren't "an attack," so there's no need to get defensive and aggressive. I've even had a few Sessrin shippers themselves tell me I make valid points and that I do it in an upright manner. So if you don't believe me, then maybe you'll believe them. Thank you!

[thebiasrekkers]

Make It Right [BTS Mafia!AU]

Plot: “It’s always darkest before the dawn…” It’s a dog-eat-dog world in Seoul, South Korea. One has to dwell in the shadows in order to reach for the light. What are you willing to sacrifice in order to feel the sunlight on your face? What will it take to drag you back into darkness? How long will the journey be to make it right?

Rating: NC-17 // NSFW

Genre: Series | Mafia!AU | Crime!AU | Angst | Romance/Fluff

Pairings: Jin x OC | Taehyung/Hoseok x OC | Yoongi/Jungkook x OC

Warnings: Graphic Violence, Heavy Language, Angst, Slow Burn, Smut

Previous Chapters: Prologue 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34

Links: FAQ || BTS Masterlist || Admin E’s AO3 || Admin E’s WP || [ REQUESTS ARE OPEN ]

Word Count: 2,832

Tag List: @prisczero​, @pinkpjmin​, @btsaudge​, @flowerwrites06​, @unoriginal-username15432, @halussali​

CHAPTER 34: EPIPHANY

“Underneath the smiling mask, my true self is coming out.”

© thebiasrekkers (Admin E). All rights reserved. Reposting/modifying our work is prohibited. Translations are not allowed. Plagiarism/stealing is not tolerated by any means. Legal action will be taken in instances of theft.

Seoul – Cheongdam; Gangnam District South Korea

Anastasia groaned when she felt someone tugging at her shoulder, attempting to rouse her from her drunken slumber. Her body swayed back and forth and she swatted at the hand pulling her. Her hand fumbled around for the covers and she attempted to yank them up and over her head. Solace was given to her for a moment and she hummed in sleepy contentment.

However, her victory was short-lived when the blanket was completely ripped from her body, exposing her to the open air. Flailing like a toddler throwing a tantrum, Anastasia flopped onto her back and then sprung up into a sitting position. Her dirty blonde hair was messy and tangled but she didn’t care. Instead, she glared up at the person who was destroying her sweet slumber.

“Ana,” Raelyn said while shaking her head, “if you don’t get up and come on.”

Anastasia flung her arms around in various directions, fighting back an oncoming migraine and whining in the process. “Rae Unnie, it’s my day off!”

Raelyn held a glass of water out to her. She took it and automatically opened her other hand to accept the aspirin that was waiting for her. Raelyn smirked when she downed the aspirin and drained the glass.

“I made breakfast,” said the older woman, turning away from her to head down the small flight of stairs from the bedroom loft, “so get washed up and come down to eat.”

“Kay,” was all Anastasia offered before swinging her legs over the edge of the bed.

Not wanting to keep her friend waiting, she opted to wash her face and brush her teeth. She’d shower later. Once she made her way downstairs, Anastasia took note of the folded-up blankets and pillows on the couch. The previous night’s antics played out in her mind and she couldn’t help grinning.

Raelyn suddenly showed up at her door with two big bottles of booze. Anastasia wasn’t one to usually turn down free alcohol, but she also knew that Raelyn wasn’t the type to mindlessly indulge in binge drinking like some college student. There was clearly something on her mind and the only way to chase it away was through booze. Anastasia could relate and since she had the next day off, she didn’t mind spending the evening drinking away.

They played cards, Monopoly, UNO and vegged out on the couch watching Netflix. Neither of them talked about work or the boys. Anastasia could tell that Raelyn wanted to avoid those subjects as much as possible. Everyone deserved a night to escape and there was a part of her that felt bad that they hadn’t included Eden. When it was mentioned, Raelyn said that Eden had other plans. Without having to say it aloud, Anastasia knew that it was with Jungkook. The woman was brutally honest and stubborn, but her affection toward Jungkook was cute.

She would tease her about it relentlessly.

The smells from the kitchen made Anastasia’s stomach groan, reminding her that she was, in fact, starving. It reminded her of when she had her own aspirations to start a restaurant and ultimately failed. It was probably for the best, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t prone to thinking about those days from time to time.

Raelyn whipped them up a traditional Southern Style breakfast of sausage, eggs, grits and toast. A side of sliced strawberries were set on small plates. Anastasia watched her pour a glass of milk and a glass of orange juice for each of them. When everything was set, the two women sidled onto the chairs by the counter and began to eat, neither of them wanting to say anything until they’d gotten a few bites in.

Anastasia swallowed a mouthful of toast and scrambled eggs, washing it down with milk, before finally deciding to break the silence. “So, do you want to talk about it now?”

The fork hovered by Raelyn’s lips and stayed there for a few seconds. She sighed, setting the utensil down on her plate. Anastasia remained quiet, not sure if she should repeat the question. There was a glint in Raelyn’s eyes that almost screamed what was being turned over and over inside of her head. But doing that would mean she hadn’t processed anything; that she hadn’t been sitting on this something for days.

She wouldn’t have shown up with the offer to booze it up if she wasn’t prepared to get her mind right.

Stabbing at a piece of strawberry, Anastasia gripped the utensil and tried to slow her heart rate some. It never usually took Raelyn this long to speak her mind. Especially if something was bothering her. This, in turn, made her uncomfortable. But instead of prodding further, she waited.

She watched Raelyn pressing her hand to her forehead, sighing again. “Everything’s fucked up,” she finally said.

Anastasia blinked, canting her head slightly. “What do you mean?”

Raelyn was now pressing both of her hands to her face. “I mean everything is fucked up, Ana.”

There was a broken tone in her voice that was unfamiliar to Anastasia. She couldn’t help but worry that something terrible had happened. But from what she understood, the boys were doing okay. Their businesses were thriving, and they were walking away from the criminal underworld like they’d dreamed. Raelyn’s reason for worrying wasn’t even a factor anymore. She could date Taehyung freely and without the strain of having to look over her shoulder.

She didn’t understand what the problem was.

Anastasia reached out to place a hand on her friend’s shoulder. “Did something happen?” She paused, brows furrowing. “I mean, besides what happened with Eden Unnie?”

She’d heard about the incident that occurred when Raelyn was dispatched to another hospital. Eden got half a dozen voicemails from her that day and an earful of high-pitched screaming when she finally answered the phone. Regardless of how tough her friends were, Anastasia didn’t want them getting hurt. Not when there wasn’t a need for them to worry about it anymore.

Raelyn shook her head back and forth fervently, her fingers clenching into fists near her forehead. “Things were supposed to get better once they went straight, right?” Anastasia’s brows furrowed when the older woman finally turned to look at her, eyes wide and shaking. “So why does it feel like things are going to get worse?”

“What?” She felt a lump forming in her throat. “What in the world is that supposed to mean? Why would they get worse?”

The older woman laughed, border lining mania, and this caused Anastasia’s hand to fall from her shoulder. “God, how could I have been so fucking stupid? How could I have missed it?”

Anastasia didn’t understand what she was talking about. However, just because she couldn’t understand didn’t mean that the implications weren’t unsettling. It felt like she’d eaten a bag of river stones for breakfast – her stomach heavy and cold.

“Jimin told me something, Ana, and I’m not gonna lie, it rattled the hell out of me.”

“What did he—”

“The boys might be out, but there’s competition that wants them to stay.”

She blinked, unable to believe what she’d just heard.

“Whoa, wait…what?” Again, she blinked. “Why?”

“That’s the million-dollar question, isn’t it?” Raelyn scoffed. “Why in the fuck—”

“—would they want their rivals to stick around when they could just claim the territory the Golden Jackals left for themselves?” Anastasia finished the thought and now it was Raelyn’s turn to look surprised. Averting her gaze, she curled her hand near her chin while glaring at her half-eaten breakfast. “That just doesn’t make sense. Strategically, when competition is gone, that leaves room for a takeover when the option for a merger is no longer on the table.”

From a marketing or bargaining standpoint, attacking the former Golden Jackals would lead to zero gain. She recalled a conversation she had with Seokjin about something similar. When companies refused to go along with mergers, a buyout option was presented. If the buyout option was refused, then eradicating all competition from the board was the next step. But if the competition chose to pull itself from the game, then the remaining competitors usually fought amongst themselves over who would take over what was left behind.

Pulling the competition back that chose to remove themselves would bring them no profit. It would create unrest all over again…

Is someone foaming at the mouth or something?

When she next met Raelyn’s gaze, it was like something dawned on the older woman. Several emotions passed over her face, but the one that Anastasia recognized immediately was anger. Something she’d said apparently set her off.

“They think they’re bluffing.”

“Huh?”

Raelyn stood from her chair suddenly, causing Anastasia to recoil. “They think Hoseok and the others are bluffing!” She began pacing and all Anastasia could do was follow her with her eyes. “They’re not sure if they’ve really dissolved or not. That’s why they’re not launching a war.” She smacked her forehead while letting loose a mirthless laugh. “That’s why the others haven’t started stirring up shit. They’re not sure what Hoseok and the others are going to do!”

Anastasia heard her laugh again, but it sounded terrible, making her skin crawl. “Rae…”

The older woman continued pacing for a few more minutes, muttering things to herself. When she suddenly stopped, Anastasia was halfway out of her seat. The two friends met each other’s gazes and it was like they both thought the same thing at that very same moment.

“What’s going to happen when they find out that it’s true?”

The work week seemed to crawl at a snail’s pace. It was unbearable and Anastasia was sure she would start the process of plucking her own eyeballs out. Seokjin and she hardly had time to see each other at all since he was doing his best to assist Hoseok and Namjoon at the new hotel in Yongsan. Not that she blamed him or needed her hand held. He wouldn’t have hired her if he didn’t think she was capable of handling things without him constantly being in the office.

Jimin being there was a boon and he was always at the ready to assist whenever she needed him. Even when she didn’t, he had coffee and snacks ready – encouraging her to take breaks before she got lost in a mountain of paperwork.

Burying herself in her work, however, was the only way she could successfully chase her worries from her mind.

She’d wanted to pick Jimin’s brain; to figure out what was going on behind the scenes. All she knew was the financial aspect of their businesses. It was her job to maintain it and make sure all the books were up to date. Nothing was out of place and Seokjin wasn’t asking her to fudge the books either. Accounts were stable and clean. No money was laundered since none of their funds were funneling in from an outside source even remotely associated with the criminal underworld.

Yet she couldn’t shake the frustration and worry that radiated from Raelyn. It was bleeding across to her now, making it hard to focus on her job. Seokjin and she were getting closer, sure, and others could clearly see that they were an item. But without him there to reassure her that things were going to be alright, Anastasia felt on edge. Hell, borderline neurotic. She could admit it.

Was their friend, Eden, suffering like this also? When she saw her a few days ago, it didn’t look like it. What was she doing that was different than what either Raelyn or she were? Had the mixed girl gotten her hands on some magic pills, being selfish and unwilling to share?

Wanting to stop by her friend’s shop on her lunch break, she took a breath of air in relief when she arrived and saw that nothing was happening. The garage was closed, a sign hanging out the window saying they were out to lunch and would be back in an hour. Anastasia finished her paperwork early and decided she would take a long lunch, so she had time to kill until her friend got back. Maybe Eden would have some answers to the questions that were constantly nagging at her.

Just as she was about to hail a cab to a nearby café, Anastasia let out a sharp squeak, realizing too late that someone was now in front of her. Her chest bumped into said person, causing her to stumble backwards. The stiletto points of her shoes scraped along the concrete loudly. When she was positive she was going to see the sky, a pair of hands grabbed her shoulders to steady her.

“Whoa,” said a gentle voice, a hint of amusement laced through it, “careful there.”

“I’m so sorry!” Anastasia apologized, taking a step back and bowing her head. “I should have been paying more attention.”

“It’s alright. I was just wondering where the fire was.”

When she finally lifted her head to look up, she saw an unfamiliar man standing in front of her. He had mouse brown hair, umber eyes, and a sweet smile that mirrored in motion with said eyes. Flushing at his appearance, she quickly shifted her gaze to look away from him. She felt more embarrassed than anything else.

“There’s no fire.”

“I can see that.” She moved to look at him again just as the man brushed some of his hair out of his eyes. “Were you here for an appointment?”

“Oh, no,” she said with a laugh, “I just came to see my friend. Looks like I just missed them.”

He slipped his hands into the pockets of his slacks. “In this day and age, you didn’t think to call her ahead of time?”

Anastasia pressed her hand against the side of her neck, giving a shy laugh while shrugging one shoulder. “I suck at surprises?” She laughed again until a thought struck her, causing a tiny shiver to shoot down her spine. Her hand slid slowly from her neck, falling to her side as she began narrowing her eyes at the stranger in front of her. “How did you know my friend’s a girl?”

“I assumed.”

“Assumed that I don’t have guy friends?” Anastasia took a step back when she saw the man’s gaze darken, his smile remaining. “Or that you already know who owns this shop?”

The man laughed, shrugging and then taking a step forward. She took another step back. He leaned forward, peering at her like he was examining a specimen in a jar.

“Clever girl,” he mused, straightening to his full height, “it didn’t take you long to pick up on that. No wonder you’re their financial advisor.”

Her eyes narrowed further. Anastasia didn’t appreciate being mocked. “…and who the fuck are you?”

“Ya, Yoo Kihyun,” called a familiar voice from the sidewalk. They both looked to see Yoongi approaching them and Anastasia felt a wave of relief wash over her. “What do you think you’re doing?”

Kihyun gave a lazy smile but there was no warmth in the gesture. Anastasia shuffled a few steps back when Yoongi closed the distance between them. He made a point to place himself in front of Anastasia, shielding her from the man who was getting his kicks out of messing with her. She had half a mind to throw her shoe at him.

Peering at him over Yoongi’s shoulder, Anastasia maintained vigilance as the other man scrutinized over her rescuer.

“Ah, Yoongi-ah. It’s been so long.”

She heard Yoongi scoff. “Not long enough. Now answer me: what do you think you’re doing?” Kihyun said nothing. “Actually, a better question: why are you here?”

“No reason,” he dismissed and Anastasia bit back her urge to pop off, “curiosity mostly.”

“I’m not surprised. You’ve always been a sick, twisted little fuck.” Anastasia blinked at the barbs coming from Yoongi. She gasped when he suddenly turned around to look at her. “When Eden gets back, don’t tell her about this.”

“Huh? But why?”

“Please, Ana-ssi,” he said, his brows furrowing.

Swallowing the lump in her throat, she finally nodded – albeit reluctantly. Yoongi’s expression relaxed somewhat and he bowed his head.

“Thank you.” He then turned around to face Kihyun. “You’re done here, Kihyun-ah. You talk to me now.” Yoongi strolled past the other man, not so much as giving him a backwards glance. “Follow me.”

Kihyun smirked, winked at Anastasia, and then followed after Yoongi as was demanded of him. Anastasia wasn’t sure of what to make of that encounter, but she knew she would have to thank Yoongi properly when she got the chance. Kihyun’s smile may have been charming, but the way he carried himself suggested something cold and unfeeling.

It left a knot in Anastasia’s stomach.

Is he one of the guys Rae was talking about? she thought, frowning, …are they the ones trying to pull them back?

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

10 things finishing my 10th book taught me

Hey People of Earth!

(I cannot believe I typed the title of this post!)

Today, I’m going to be sharing 10 things finishing my 10th book taught me, which means--as of 2:30 this morning, I have finished writing my tenth novel, aka MOTH WORK. I’ve written posts like this for my 7th, 8th, and 9th novels as well!

Enjoy this note no one asked me to write but that I wrote because I was sad: 

I introduced this project on this blog back in June, but actually started it in the notes app of my iPhone (iconic) sometime in January of 2019. At this time, my mental health was *lackin* as I was stressed and in my final months of high school. I needed something to cheer me up, and so Moth Work became a place where I could dump my “bad writing” and also have fun. For more context, you can read more about Moth Work in my various writing updates HERE. 

I didn’t intend for this project to become a novel, but thought I’d write it as a longer “for fun” story (prospective word count was 5k words). I chipped away at it for a few months, but didn’t really start picking it up as a serious project until around May/June. It was only once summer vacation hit that I, under the advice of my therapist to have a “reach goal” for the summer, decided to say fuck it!! I shall write this as a novel (prospective word count now 50k words). This novel has seen me graduate high school + almost finish my first year of university, and I’m so excited to share all the wonderful things I learned while writing it!

1. It is totally okay to take your “guilty pleasures” seriously. 

I was in a mega dilemma writing this book. I’d wrapped up writing my ninth novel just after starting this project, and felt a need to write something that was more “serious”. Though I’m an advocate for writing what you want, when you want, even I struggled not to feel like I was wasting my time writing a project that didn’t have very much literary/craft merit (in my eyes, this changed eventually). 

I am here to tell you--do NOT let anyone, including yourself, shame you out of writing what you like. Allow yourself to let loose and write “bad” things, and remember you don’t have to feel guilty/ashamed for writing stuff that seems “juvenile” or “bad”.

2. Processes change--embrace this.

I took about 4000 different approaches writing this book, and though I really wanted to stick to one (outlining, pantsing), eventually, I let my process be what it wanted to be. For example, I am a pantser and began this novel pantsing. Very quickly, I realized I needed an outline because I could not keep track of events (this book begins very plot-oriented). But, pre-determining events that would happen eventually stopped working as I began feeling constrained, and so I settled for outlining as I went so I could keep track of plot points. 

I outlined 10 of the 15 chapters like this before I sort of... stopped doing this (though I will go back and fill it in just for future reference)! I went back to full-blown pantsing in the last four or so chapters, as what I’d planned would NOT pan out--and I think it’s so important to let your process be what it wants to be. Sometimes this book needed some planning--sometimes it really didn’t. This flexibility has really allowed me to be in touch with my projects more, and really listen to them/understand what it is they need. 

3. Sometimes plans change. Don’t be afraid to follow your gut.

I did not plan for Moth Work to be a novel. But as the project developed, so did its final form. My gut was telling me what I needed to do (continue writing), and another example of this is when I sporadically made this a dual point of view book! I’ve never written a full-length dual POV manuscript, and haven’t written dual POV since I was 12, but I didn’t let that stop me from doing what I knew in my gut, was what the book needed. 

I want to emphasize here--sometimes the vision you imagine changes. Allow this change to happen if you feel it’s right, even if it’s scary. I feel I’ve grown a lot as a writer by just allowing this of myself! It’s easy to beat yourself up for not following your plan, and I did this a lot. Understanding that sometimes plans turn into other plans turn into other plans etc, is the most freeing thing you can do for your writing!

4. Write what makes you happy!

This project began as a means to increase my serotonin lmaooo and I think sometimes as writers, we forget that yes, art is hard, but writing what you like can make that difficulty just a little more tolerable. This book started toiling toward disaster mode for a few chapters in the middle, and I really was not happy writing it. You can feel the difference in the chapters when I felt comfortable writing, versus when I struggled because I felt I “had to”. And so I took a step back and re-evaluated. Since this was not working/not making me happy, what would? This question solved my problems (not easily, but lead me on the right path). The artist! does not! have to! suffer! 

Sometimes problems occur, and critically thinking through them is vital. I’m not saying just to do whatever every time something doesn't work because this isn’t a shortcut. However, my point is not to be afraid to change things up and write what will make you happier and help you finish the book if you feel that’s what you need. I wanted to write a cheesy romance about two boys who both need to chill, and so though I could’ve written something else, I wrote this because it genuinely made me happier! And I love that about this book!

5. Things can take longer than you expect. You’re not a bad writer because of this.

Y’ALL. I wanted to write 50k words of this book over one summer. One month! One! Month! Lots of folks can do this, but I did not! In fact, I hit 50k this month, which is half a year after I projected. 

I think a lot of us constitute speed to being a good writer, and while speed and being a good writer can coexist, speed is not necessarily a determining factor in whether you can write or not! This book took me just over a year from when I started it (nine months from when I took it on as a full-time project), and while sure, I could’ve written it faster, I let it develop as it needed, and wrote it when I felt I could. I am not a professional writer with deadlines (that’s different)! While you gotta put in the time to improve, I think you also gotta look out for yourself! Use your gut, and take your time if that’s what you need!

6. Craft and play can coexist.

This took me so long to grasp, and I still struggle with this today! Craft and play can coexist. Say it with me y’all: craft and play can coexist!!

My manifesto for Moth Work initially was to have it be my dumping ground for shitty writing. While this took the pressure off initially, I then felt like I was regressing in my craft (which was untrue, I just didn’t realize it at the time). So, I decided to begin taking the craft aspect of this book very seriously, trying to write polished, delicious prose (every! time!) and the fact of the matter is that often, this did not happen. 

I beat myself up over this! I was like: Rachel, 16-year-old you was pumping out better prose than this, what’s up? And I put so much pressure on myself to perfect the writing, even though this was only ever meant to be a “for funsies” project. Eventually, I came to understand that, okay, I really do want this to be a for funsies project, but I also want to enjoy re-reading it and not criticizing every aspect of it. I then began incorporating a few passes of line edits after drafting a chapter, until eventually, I stopped circling back to chapters to line-edit them altogether. You don’t have to be perfect on the first draft!

You also don’t have to sacrifice craft to have fun, just as the opposite is true. This book taught me a lot about finding this balance, something I’ve lacked in my writing process for years!

7. Your writing styles can differ from book-to book!

I couldn’t understand why my prose in this book felt “thin” (aka awful in my eyes), why the only thing I felt capable of describing was literally everything shining in some sort of way (glinting, glimmering, glowing lool) or overzealous descriptions of the moon. It was only about a month ago that I realized, after making a breakthrough with my litfic novel Houses With Teeth, that Moth Work was not sucking the life out of my prose--it was just a different book with a different style of writing.

And this makes sense! I was writing with two different characters, in two different perspectives, in a completely different POV than I’m used to writing in the long-form (third-present). Of course things were going to be different! I felt a bit silly realizing this, lol, because it felt so obvious, but I struggled with this for a long time (you can even see bits of this struggle in my video Problems I’m having with writing + solutions). 

I thought I had regressed to being a bad writer because of this book, when in reality, the fault was on my inability to stop comparing a very different book to my very different past works. Sometimes you don’t even realize you’re working against yourself! Acknowledging this, and then letting it go was the best thing I did for this book and it allowed me to draft it much faster toward the end!

8. Writing is NOT linear.

I spoke about this in my Problems video, and I honestly was nervous to see how this hot take would be received. However, I was surprised to see that some folks thought this hot take was actually not a bad one, so I’m re-iterating it here!

I think, because we writers are often always practicing writing, we assume everything we write will be better than the last. Honestly, I feel like at least for me, this was my goal--to always be working linearly in terms of progress. It wasn’t until this book that I really came to realize that this is just not how writing works. The easiest way for me to compare this, also as a visual artist, is to say that sure, practice does make perfect, but I have sketches from last week that are worse than sketches I drew two years ago. Why is it that we expect writing to always be linearly better from one project to the next? My answer is that this is just not how writing works. I wrote some of my favourite paragraphs years ago, and may be embarrassed of a paragraph I write tomorrow. 

I got caught up in this idealism of “I must be writing better each time I write” because I thought this was the most logical progression of my writing craft, but realizing that actually!! progress jumps around, was so important for me. Some days I’m better at writing description, some days I write dialogue worse than I did when I was fourteen! It’s okay not to always be uphill. 

Y’all, if I step down a wrung on a ladder and then step up four the very next day, that’s how it’s going to be! Practice intrinsically will make you grow as a writer, but it doesn't mean everything you write has to be better than what you wrote before (though this can be the case, which is awesome). I feel like I don’t see this spoken about enough, so I do want to know if this is relevant to any of you or if this point is bologna!!!

9. The story wants what it wants.

This is heavily in line with some previous points, but is something that was driven home for me while writing this novel. If I can give one piece of advice, it would be to let the story be what it wants to be. If my story wants to be a YA fantasy trilogy, but I’m trying to force it to be a standalone pretentious character-driven coming-of-age saga (calling myself out), my writing may suffer! Of course, some writers can take control over their story and execute their initial vision perfectly! I am not! one of those! people!

I’m a firm believer that sometimes the story wants what it wants, and it’s often your best bet to follow this path. Write intuitively--if you know something feels wrong, or contrarily, feels right, follow that path. 

I did not know how to end this book. I’d had an ending planned for a few months, though it eventually fell apart in the last few weeks. I didn’t know what I would do instead, but last night when I was drafting the last two chapters of the book, I felt in my gut that I was heading to the end. I wanted to stop writing for the night--I almost did, but instead, I kept at it because I knew I was on a roll toward the finish line, and I felt compelled to follow my instinct. This is how I landed at the end I wrote in, and it was a completely organic process.

Planning out your story is a great thing to do, and I’m not here to start a debate about whether plotting/pantsing is better because they’re both amazing!! But for me, it’s important to let the story breathe, and let it eventually grow into the shoes it chooses for itself. Taking a step back so I could stop trying to mould this story into a place it didn't want to be is probably the best thing I could’ve done for it because I finished the book. Any process is a good process if it gets you to the end healthily, and for me, allowing the story to be what it wanted to be and allowing it to take the lead helped me get there.

10. It’s okay to love your story.

I’m going to end this post on another hot take because it is probably what I primarily felt early this morning as I typed up the last paragraph of this book. I’m not going to lie--I cried finishing this book lol. I ached finishing this book. It *hurt* to finish this book. I didn’t want to finish this book. What I wanted to do was shut my computer, and pretend the end was not coming, and come back four months from now to finish it, maybe. I wanted to hang onto my story because it’s my story and I love it!

Y’all, this book is cringey. It’s melodramatic, juvenile in some places, comically serious in others. But it’s mine, and I love it. Sometimes I’m ashamed of the writing in this book--sometimes I think I’m getting worse. But it’s my story, and I love! it! 

I think so many of us want to please other people! Or maybe that’s just me lol!! oh boy!! There were so many times I wanted to give up on this project because I thought others would find it cringey in places I too, thought were cringey, but simultaneously loved.

I’ve written for other people a lot in the past, and sometimes those ‘other people’ are just me--many critical versions of me. Don’t forget about how much you love a story (for its quirks maybe, its clichés, its “bad writing”) before you finish it. A first draft only comes once and finishing a first draft is so wonderful, and even more so when you love that story. We got enough hate y’all, lets give our stories some love. 

So that’s it for this post! I still have five chapters to write writing updates for, so the party ain’t over til it’s over!!!

For my obligatory Oscar’s speech! A special thanks to @sarahkelsiwrites​​ for reading about these trash people for five years, and for enthusiastically contributing to their trash decisions (#do it for the tea)! And for reassuring me that the prose in this book is actually not as bad as I believe because I would never have finished this book without that pep talk lol. To @imdisappointed​​ for helping me crack some of the toughest plot problems!! You talk me out of problems and it’s magic! And to my MOM @shaelinwrites​​ (for being my mom) and also for all the kind/insightful things you say! Y’all get me through it!!!

And of course!! I thank all of YOU for following this journey of drafting Moth Work. My community on here never fails to amaze me, and I’m a big stan of you all!! Please tag me in your stuff--I’d love to read about what you’re writing!

Here’s to finishing a book, but more importantly, to hoping I don’t make Moth Work a series lmaoo!!! *pops confetti*

--Rachel

[sadlyafanofotomegames]

A Road Paved with Bad Endings - Nightshade

You know why it takes so long to talk about Nameless Bad Endings?  Because they’re so complicated and different from each other!  There’s so many bad endings.  So.  Many.  Bad.  Endings.  So why don’t we shift gears and talk about a game that limits itself to one bad ending per boy.  Sometimes you get otome games where each ending is unique and fucked up in their own special way.  And then sometimes its just “And then they died.”  And you know what?  Those endings can be just as valid.  So lets get to these shinobis and ninjas and Naruto has corrupted my vision of ninjas permanently I am so sorry.  

Nightshade is about Enju, daughter of the Koga Clan’s leader and the sister of the Iga Clan leader.  After the Iga Clan was destroyed in a war the Koga Clan absorbed the survivors.  Because of this Enju is seen as the glue keeping the Koga and Iga Clan together, and is treasured by the villagers.  But Enju wants to be a real shinobi and go on missions like everyone else.  One day she gets her wish, and travels with her childhood friends and mentor to complete a mission.  Good news, she completed the mission!  Bad news, she gets accused of killing the ruler right after.

On the way she travels with her childhood friend and bodyguard Gekkamaru, her other childhood friend and Gekkamaru’s brother Kuroyuki, and her mentor and cousin (oh no) Chojiro, as well as meeting a cold-hearted powerful ninja from another clan, Hanzo, and a libertine totally-not-a-gentleman-thief Goemon.  Who’s going to be with Enju beyond the game of life-and-death she’s been forced into?  Or in this case, who’s going to see her literal end?

General Thoughts on This Bad End Journey

So before I get to the boys I’ll just do an overview on how choices work here.  Note that I’m playing the Switch Version.  You got the boys.  You got choices.  First four chapters you make choices that the boy you want likes and then in chapter five that’s when the route starts (though some routes start a bit early, but each route’s choices still start in Chapter 5.)  If you go to the Relationships in the Menu you’ll notice the line of boys and under each one is a line of flowers.  Every time you pick a choice a boy would like, the flowers will flash on screen and the next time you check the Relationships you’ll see the flower line begin to fill in with color.  Whoever’s flower is colored in the most until chapter 4 will begin the route in 5, and to get the good end you need to continue filling the line with color as much as possible.  Don’t fill the line by the end?  Bad Ending.

This makes it pretty simple to get the ending you want.  Quick Save, make a choice, see the flowers, good.  Make a choice, don’t see the flowers, bad, quick load.  I’d recommend Quick Saving continuously if you’re like me and can’t stop smashing buttons like I’m trying to speedrun (I can read pretty fast) because if you’re not paying attention you’ll “A” yourself right into picking the first option of a choice that popped up.  I did this more times than I would like to admit to.

On the content of the choices themselves, they’re good at connecting to the themes of each boy, so even though you can depend on the flower pop-up to keep you on the path you want you can intuitively see which choices work.  This is not true for all otome games.

The Bad Endings themselves basically all lead to the same place - dead and sad.  Enju dies, then boy.  Or boy dies, then Enju.  But each ending differentiates itself in the various flavors of how the deaths occurs and the reaction to it.  Also there’s one sad song for all the bad endings and it is a mood.  Despite the simplicity of it these endings do genuinely make me sad because Enju is a cutie and I love her and how dare you do this to her and dangit now I’m fond of the boys and now they’re sad and now I’m sad and I’m listening to a sad credit song and want to eat ice cream in a empty bathtub and cry for some reason.  So lets be sad...together.  

Spoilers for each route.  Warning for Descriptions of Death and Suicide. 

Goemon - It’s All Fun and Games Until You Need to Pretend You Betrayed a Cute Girl and Cause Her to Be So Sad She Doesn’t Stop Someone From Killing Her

Goemon is a gentleman thief archetype, who’s a player (or in this case libertine?) and steals from the rich to give to the poor.  Goemon is the only real one because he doesn't give a single fuck about cops, shinobi rules or the hierarchy, and strives not to shed blood if he can help it, AND is always good to Enju (expect when he was forced to be mean and he literally cried about it later in the good ending.)  Usually I’m not for player types, but Goemon manages to pull off being flirty and playful without coming off as pervy and careless.  It helps that there’s isn’t a Mean Girl for him to flirt with to cause conflict.  But then we near the ending of the route, where Goemon has to pull off a ploy to save Enju without being able to tell her the ploy, and it sucks.  I knew it was a ploy from the start, but you still made her be sad gosh darnit!  They managed to save the good mood of the route after that spell but just thinking about it left a sour taste in my mouth.  Unless you’re in the bad end, in which case you’ll be left with the taste of TEARS.

How to Get the Bad End 

Show distrust toward Goemon.  Goemon, lets be honest here, looks a little sus.  He pressures young ladies into going out for deserts, he’s a little flirty and doesn’t seem to take things with the right amount of seriousness, you fought him on a rooftop because he’s a notorious thief you were sent to capture, you know, it might be hard for Enju to trust him.  When Enju trusts in Goemon and is ready to have a good time (no not that kind) the two really establish a bond.  But on the road to the bad end Enju always had a seed of doubt in her mind about Goemon.

What Happens

The ploy Goemon came up with was to pretend to rejoin his old shinobi clan, the Fuma Clan, and deliver Enju to the Council of the Five Elder  (who all want to be the regent for the late rulers son but need to avenge him by killing his murderer) and then double-crossing both the Lords and his old clan and escaping with Enju with them believing she died.  Unfortunately because he’s surrounded by Fuma Clan members during this ruse he couldn’t spill the beans, thus Enju was left in the dark.  Also he faked all of her friends murders.  It’s not a great feeling to become so connected to someone only to find out that they killed all your friend and will send you to your death.  

But in the good path Enju is able to still believe in Goemon.  In the bad route...she just gives up on that line of thinking.  When they reach the palace, there’s a twist Goemon wasn’t expecting.  The late ruler’s Concubine and mother of the later ruler’s son enters before any of the Lords can debate who’ll execute her and kills Enju herself, and in her despair Enju lets her.  Goemon then releases the poison that causes people to see illusions and kill each other.  Hanzo escapes with his lord Tokugawa before it hits them.

Review

This ending fits well with Goemon because its after Enju dies because of her doubt toward him that Goemon truly betrays his beliefs.  He didn’t want to kill anymore.  He didn’t want to ever use the cruel techniques he was taught as a shinobi leader.  And then he’s left holding Enju’s body covered in blood that’s not his own, tear in one eye.  Hearing the screams of lords and servants alike killing each other due to his poison.  It’s poetic. 

Hanzo - TFW You Go From Cold to Softie But Still End Up in a Double-Suicide Because You’re Girlfriend Didn’t Fully Learn Her Own Self-Worth

So Hanzo is what the kids call, a kuudere.  He’s also the oldest, being the same age as Enju’s mom.  Enju is 16-17.  I am uncomfortable.  To be fair Goemon is also around Hanzo’s age, but Goemon doesn’t act as a tutor/guardian in the way Hanzo does, so its less noticeable.  Also...he gets real saucy in the last chapter.  Saucier than the so-called libertine.  Went from 0 to 100 real fast.  There are some parts I really love about this route, but given Hanzo’s role and age-gap I feel like this is one of those ones where I wish they left out the romance altogether, but hey this wouldn’t be an otome game without the smooching, so eh. 

How to Get the Bad End

Be pessimistic, hesitant, self-defeating, make silly mistakes.  Hanzo wants Enju to be smart and willing to improve her skills.  This entire route is really about Enju’s growth, both mental and physical, in the face of overbearing odds.  So don’t do that and you’ll end up in the bad end.  There’s a loooong gap between your last choice and where the bad end hits, and in the last chapter you don’t get any more choices.  

What happens.

When Hanzo seemingly disobeys his lord’s order to kill Enju (at least, that’s what the messenger said) he planned to commit suicide.  In the good ending Enju stops him and they move on to smooches but in the bad ending...she kills him herself so that he wouldn’t have to do it.  Then she ends her life soon after.

Review

I was honestly wasn’t expected this flavor of death from this route, but I suppose its attached to the antithesis of the route.  Hanzo, first from orders and then from heart, needed Enju to live and demanded Enju to stay alive, but in the bad end she was able to kill her own lover but didn’t learn to stay alive for herself.  It’s sad, but its a little too short for me to really sink in the tragedy.  Now if you want tragedy for the entire route, well that’s what our next boy’s for.

Chojiro - This Whole Route is a Bad Ending That the Real Bad End is Almost Cathartic

Chojiro is...*long, drawn out sigh* Enju’s cousin and mentor, whom she calls “Brother Chojiro.”  Look there’s a lot of tropes common in otome games that I just can’t get behind, but here I am still playing them.  Anyway sliding that fact back under the carpet Chojiro is another seemingly cold-hearted man, but unlike Hanzo, Chojiro already has a developed bond with Enju, and that bond makes it obvious that Chojiro’s got the fuzzies deep down.  Unfortunately a lot depends on him being a shinobi who follows the rules and orders to a T, which is awkward when yer girl becomes a fugitive after being accused of murder and you’re sent to kill her.  Again, there’s parts of this route I really like if they didn’t bother with the romance.  The thing under the carpet aside I feel like there was already an established love between the two from the get go, so to have them smooch, especially after all their friends died, is a little bit...bad timing is all I’m saying.  Now the bad ending, well, that just fits right in.

How to Get the Bad End

A good chunk of the choices made are without Chojiro present at all, but if you pick the right choice you’ll still see the flowers.  A main theme I suppose would be to get the bad end Enju emulates Chojiro.  Try to be cool and calm.  It’s not real, but its how Enju sees Chojiro.  Think of what Chojiro would do, rather than what Enju truly feels.  That’s just a loose thread though.  The path to the bad end comes mainly from how the plot of the route happens, which is Enju asking if living is really worth...all this?

What Happens

So uh, that ruler Enju was accused of murdering?  Yeah he never died.  The double was killed.  In this route at least, he set it up so that the Five Elders would play a game to see who would become the guardian.  Each of Enju’s friends, tricked into hunting down Enju at risk of losing their entire village, represented one of the five lords.  But then, in the ruler’s viewpoint, Enju managed to kill four of her friends (actually they mostly killed each other...it was actually three of them who died) and was so impressed...that he decided to bring her and Chojiro to the castle to set up a death match.  Enju’s blood is boiling.  Chojiro’s blood is boiling.  My blood is boiling.  

So what are we gonna do?  Go down in style.  Enju decides that if they both can’t live in peace, then they shouldn’t have to live while the other dies either.  She convinces Chojiro, who’s revealed to be as soft as Chojiro always told her she was, to strike her as she strikes him.  They die in each other’s arms with smiles on their faces.

Review

While the choices don’t really connect outside of whether they’re good for Enju or not, the Bad End fits like a glass slipper on this horrific tragedy.  It’s poignant that its Enju who takes the lead in how they go out, when its always been Chojiro who had to be in charge.  At the end it was like Chojiro was holding Enju’s sleeve.  Sad and beautiful...and closed off from the opportunity to escape that was so close.

Kuroyuki - Kuroyuki is a Tragedy with a Neat Scarf and Losing Enju Did Not Help

Kuroyuki was raised alongside Enju and is, FOR ONCE, around the same age as Enju.  At age 8 he was sent out on a mission and only returns now to tag along with Enju and her friends during their mission.  He’s aloof and playful, but its pretty clear he gots some secrets, and has some feelings for Enju from the beginning.  Once you get into Kuroyuki’s route he doesn’t hide that fact, up and saying that he loves Enju early on in his route.  He can act very forward (forward enough to make me act like a PTA mom and evoke the three-feet-apart rule), but when he realizes Enju’s upset he’ll quickly apologize and make pouty faces.  Despite the fact that he can be a cold-blooded killer (like all the boys except Goemon can be) and also be the most calculating, he can also be a sweetie, and it feels like he and Enju are on a more even playing field than the other boys.  Kuroyuki and Enju can be pretty childish toward each other, and it can get pretty cute.  That won’t stop the plotwist, and this bad end, coming fast to snap your heart in two.

How to Get the Bad End

Okay also Kuroyuki’s a yandere.  Probably should have said that sooner.  Anytime you’re in a yandere route the choices that lead you to the good end are basically to be sensible, because your yandere pal sure won’t.  Its the same here, though its good to show some care.  So get to the bad end...don’t be sensible.  Be reckless.  He’s says they’d live together and die together.  That’s not worrying at all!  What if I want to be with the yandere who gaslit me, mom!?  Ever thought about that!?

What Happens

So in this route, the ruler was killed for realzies this time...by Kuroyuki.  He was probably killed by Kuroyuki in every route except in Chojiro’s and Gekkamaru’s, because when he kills the ruler there’s no blood or open gash, which is a mark of his type of power.  There was a deal between the Kaga Clan (who Kuroyuki was sent to train in 8 years ago) and the Koga Clan to kill the ruler, bringing the country back into war.  There’s no use for shinobi in times of peace.  What Kuroyuki wasn’t planning was for Enju to be accused of the murder.  So uh...he basically sets it up so that he’d be the only one to save her from prison and travel with her.  He lied about her friends possibly coming after her, which even I was set to believe because I was in a couple of routes where they did come after her, which was clever.  He was spot on about Enju’s father disowning her though, even if he didn’t know it when he told her, which goes to show how much of an ass her dad is.

I need to set this all up to say after all this is revealed Kuroyuki decides that if he can’t be with her, he’ll at least make a better world for her, first by killing her ass of a dad (which, like, same.)  Coincidentally Enju, determined to find out who ordered Kuroyuki to kill the ruler to save Kuroyuki, decides to confront her dad on the matter as well.  So they both meet again while facing off her dad.  Enju wants to live and die with Kuroyuki, and in her reckless rush to protect Kuroyuki her dad stabs her.  Kuroyuki kills her dad (good) then carries Enju to a clear field.  He gives Enju the only thing he can give her at that point - a happy dream that everything turned out alright, and that he and all her friends are together and happy.  Enju dies peacefully in his arms.  He promises to join her soon.

Review

I feel like I’m going to say this every time we meet a yandere, but while I like seeing yanderes as obstacles, I don’t believe in good endings with yanderes, at least romantically.  Like if a boy can only see happiness by keeping one girl by his side with rope and a red eye that freezes your shadow so you can’t move, maybe he should, at the very least, try to connect with people other than her?  Like, maaaaaaybe take a break from each other, clear your mind?  No?  Enju wants to be with you forever now too?  Tch.  

That being said, I’m glad this was the bad end for this route, and not a yandere ending where Kuroyuki kills Enju or Enju gets trapped in an illusion so that she couldn’t escape or something.  Much as I like “WTF” bad endings this bad ending struck a chord in how...sad it is.  Hands down, this one made me cry for Enju and Kuroyuki.  Much as Kuroyuki’s got issues, he gave Enju a way to pass peacefully.  It hurt me when she closed her eyes, and it hurt me when Kuroyuki cried.

Gekkamaru - The Overprotective Childhood Friend to End All Overprotective Childhood Friends

Gekkamaru is Enju’s childhood friends and bodyguard, and is overprotective to a...concerning degree.  No matter which route you’re in he’ll come to Enju’s aid, ranging from “well that’s sweet” to “oh gawd Gekka pls calm tf down.”  So you can imagine how he acts in his own route.  Despite the over-protectiveness (though I suppose when you become a wanted criminal over-protectiveness is a welcome trait) Gakkamaru is probably the Best Boy of the whole game.  He’s earnest and a real sweetheart.  Its too bad that this route is about as tragic as Chojiro’s, except the tragedy happens gradually, over and over again, not to mention his bad end...

How to Get The Bad End 

So that whole servant-and-master thing?  Yeah it’s fine.  Gekkamaru wants to act as a servant towards Enju?  Eh, don’t worry about it.  Pick options that don’t rock the boat on their relationship.  Don’t pay attention to Gekkamaru’s growing feelings, it’s fine.  It’s fine!  Not like he’ll die or anything.  

What Happens

So he dies.  Turns out Gekkamaru’s been hypnotized not once, but twice!  Enju’s mother hypnotized him into protecting Enju at all costs, and his mother hypnotized him into want to kill Enju, due to her father killing his parents before she was born.  Enju was tricked into releasing Gekka from her mother’s spell, leaving him with the curse forcing him to attempt to Enju.  Before he could do the deed, Enju tell him she loves him.  Rather than her love breaking the curse, Gekka’s role as her servant and bodyguard wins over, and he stabs himself fatally.  Enju follows after him.

Review

This ending isn’t far off from what actually happens in the good ending, but it mattered how Gekkamaru broke the curse.  What killed him was his duty trumping both the curse AND his love.  It’s what Enju feared - that his devotion was only due to the spell, and that it would kill him.  It’s poetic, but given the roller coaster of tragedy that’s happened throughout the route it feels like just another addition to it.

Conclusion

If I were to rank these bad endings from least interesting to most interesting, I’d say Hanzo - Gekkamaru - Chojiro - Kuroyuki - Goemon.  Obviously if you’re looking at good ending ranking or best boy the ranking would be different, but that’s not what we’re here for!  This is BadEndVille babey!  Chojiro, Kuroyuki and Goemon are a bit of a toss-up, since all three of those bad endings match the character and evoke a unique sort of pain.  Hanzo and Gekkamaru’s endings are also sad, but I don’t think they’re as strong a finish as the others.  Chojiro, Kuroyuki and Goemon’s bad endings feel like a real conclusion to a tragedy, while Hanzo and Gekkamaru’s bad endings feel like a “whoopsie you killed yer boy from the top!”

Still, all the bad endings are fitting for how they occur: Enju and Her Love learned the wrong lessons.  Enju constantly has to face being hunted down by shinobi stronger than her, being abandoned by the village who treasured her and the father who never acknowledged her, and sometimes she has to face her own childhood friends.  But on the way she’s often with someone who loves her, who’s willing to carry her through.  What she needs isn’t just strength and willpower, its the desire to live.  Live even when it feels like it’d be easier for everyone if you were gone, because your life is not for others to use up and wilt.  

And in the bad end, Enju fails to learn that lesson.  She dies because she can’t see happiness in living, not without the person who loved her by her side, and doesn’t realize that there is a way out, that they can both be saved.  With Kuroyuki, they both agreed that they will live together and they will die together, and in every bad end Enju decided that dying together was the better option.

It’s the same for the boys: Goemon fails to keep his beliefs after Enju dies, Hanzo fails to save Enju because he couldn’t change his beliefs as a shinobi, Chojiro fails because he’s so certain that everything he loves with eventually wilt, Kuroyuki fails because he realizes the consequences of what he’s done too little too late, and Gekkamaru fails because he couldn’t truly see himself as anything other than a loyal servant, ready to die even if that dooms the one he serves to misery.  They all became Romeos and Juliets, too short-sighted to see the light beyond the horizon.

All this to say that if you have the time after completing the good endings for all the boys, grab some ice cream or any other sweet treat that suits you and go through these bad endings.  Let those sad feels wash over you for a bit.  Then get to those bonus stories in the extras because I THOUGHT I WAS DONE-