#roman x peter

[k-wame]

HEMLOCK GROVE | 1.13

[cameron-phillips]

Hemlock Grove 3x09 Damascus

[romanicism]

comparison between the book and the series

hemlock grove, brian mcgreevy / hemlock grove (dir. eli roth) gifs credit @/godfreysteel

[romance-sick]

Roman & Peter: -the most toxic, self-destructive, co-dependent relationship ever seen in the state of Pennsylvania-

My delusional ass: “GOD, I want what they have…”❤️‍🩹

[mezzinow]

It's late and I think about my three cursed ships. Made for each other, but not allowed to be happy. Why are you doing this to me brain? 😭

💔💔💔💔

[cocaineskarsgard]

puppy love

it’s late. and roman is in a club, grinding up against some twink with long hair, lips brushing against the shorter males neck. unaware of who he was daring to desire him. the stranger has an oddly familiar scent. and the leather of the jacket is worn and old. nonetheless roman persists pressing rough kisses on his throat. the other hums, biting his lip, bending his arm to tangle his hand in the taller’s hair. a familiar softness graces his fingers. he stretches his neck to allow more access. the feeling of lips against his neck is drowning out the sound of the music. roman is loving this. he’s hot, sweating, and he’s not sure if it’s from all the bodies lumped together in the club, the grinding and kissing, or his growing arousal. he doesn’t care either way. all he wanted right now was to take this guy into the alley or the back of the maserati and fuck his brains out and get his number so he could maybe call him again. the rainbow lights are blinding him. he still can’t place why the scent is familiar.

“wanna get out of here?” he asks his lover for the night.

“please.” the other basically begs. peter can’t place the voice, he knows it. the two stumble out to roman’s black maserati and the back door is opened and peter is shoved inside. a spacious back seat commonly stocked with sexual items, such as lube or condoms. roman pulls peter onto his lap and kisses him softly and slowly. roman places his hand under the others chin and softly deepens the kiss. peter can feel the fear in the kiss, he can feel the way that he is afraid to be rough, afraid he’ll break him.

roman moves one of his hands blindly to the top of the car and feels around for the light switch. with one click, he pulls away, gasping, the two open their eyes and look at each other. finally seeing one another in light.

recognizing.

“peter fucking rumancek.” roman says, completely thunderstruck. even in his wildest dreams would he be almost fucking his best fucking friend.

“roman, i-i didn’t know you were-“ he cuts himself off, nervous for what would happen if he had said that three letter word.

“shee-it, you have no fuckin idea.” roman smirks and rubs his thumbs in circles against peters sides. skin against skin contact, it has peter shivering. he goes weak, falling against his best friend, face buried in his neck. gasping as roman squeezes his hips.

“christ rumancek, didn’t expect you to be such a fucking slut.” roman growls, a primal instinct taking over. the pussy parade was getting tiring. this time it’s different, this isn’t just a one night stand. as much as he thinks he’s dreaming. he isn’t.

peter submits to him, hips grinding slowly against romans. the two aren’t sure who’s moaning louder. the car just fills with hot lust. anyone who would have walked by would have a sinful view. roman pulls at peters long locks, soft. exposing the neck he’s always dreamed of biting and sucking and leaving love bites on. the position is switched and it’s uncomfortable to be fucking someone in the back seat of a god damn maserati, especially fucking your best friend. however many times roman has dreamt and woken up to a gruff and slightly angry (but really horny) phone call from peter.

“roman, please. can we go home?” peter whines, his neck aching. roman smiles a bit at the word home. hopelessly devoted to him.

“anything for you puppy.” roman kisses him softly. peter blushes at the nickname, puppy.

climbing into the driver's seat and starting his car. peter climbs to the passenger side. both of them impossibly hard. harder than they’ve ever thought they could be. and peter is trying not to touch himself so he can spare all the spunk he has for roman.

the car speeds down the streets, and roman almost looks high, pupils blown. he is, but it’s a different kind of high. he was high off of lust. perhaps even love.

eventually, even with speeding, what seemed like the longest drive ever, ends and roman pulls into the driveway. quickly exiting the vehicle, peter following.

they enter the house, miraculous as always, beautiful. roman doesn’t want to waste anymore time, he picks peter up, wrapping his legs around his torso. the kiss that’s shared between the two is hot, romans hard cock pressed against his dress pants as well as peters ass. peter is grinding gently, trying for some relief. roman fumbles with the door handle and peter is whispering pleas against the skin of his neck.

roman growls and kisses his way down to peters neck, sloppily kissing and biting, marking him all over. pretty pup.

roman tosses peter onto the bed, leaning over him. their lips locking in a sloppy kiss, all tongues and teeth, roman licking over peters slightly sharp canines. hands are tugging at shirts and all roman can muster to say is,

“so many fucking layers.”

peter sits up and helps remove all the layers, leaving him naked and bare. roman stripping himself, admiring his pup.

“puppy, you sure you want this.” roman runs his hand down peters torso, touching his thighs. peter bucks his hips, he wants him, so bad, so bad that it hurts. he nods, crawling over to roman, licking up his aching cock, sucking on the tip. and roman growls. a feral sound, he threads his fingers in peters hair, tugging roughly. fucking slut. roman thinks, seeing the sinful lips of his best friend wrapped around his length. sucking like candy.

“fuck that’s it pup. suck my cock.” roman almost purrs. his knees shaking. peter looks up, locking eyes with the other, he takes as much as he can into his mouth and licks around the head. roman moans and thrusts his hips lightly. peter chokes. tugging at the brown locks, he signals for peter to stop. he pulls off, a string of saliva connecting his lips to romans dick.

“i love you, roman” peter smiles, kissing him softly, roman hums into the kiss and smiles.

“i love you, too. always have.” and they kiss, it’s soft and sweet and there’s only love in this. nothing could tear them apart. roman grips peters hips and flips him over onto all fours, running his hand along his spine, peter whines. face down ass up.

roman wastes no time pushing his throbbing cock into peters tight ass. the two of them moan, romans hand is dusted into peter hair and he’s fucking into him without mercy.

“fuck roman!” peter yells, he tries to reach down to stroke his own cock, roman grabs his wrists and ties them behind his back with a tie from his bed, the plethora of items on his bed and a tie is one. roman leans down and strokes peters cock and he winces. the pleasure is so much to handle. roman rubs his thumb over the leaking tip of peters cock.

“let me know when you’re gonna cum okay pup?”

“okay.”

he thrusts, hitting the other males prostrate and peter could cry from pleasure, he’s sure he is.

“roman.” he whispers.

“puppy, if you’re gonna call out my name, you better be fucking screaming it.” roman growls, tugging peter up to lean against his chest by the hair, and he kisses his neck. peter rides his cock sinfully, and his cock twitches in romans hand.

“c-close!” he moans. roman quickens the pace of his hand and peter rides faster.

“that’s it pup.” roman purrs, moaning after, cumming deep inside of peter. peter releases soon after, coating romans hand in his cum. they stay in the same position for a bit, regaining composure. roman grabs a towel from the floor and cleans them both up. untying peters hands, they lay in the bed together, close. small and soft kisses being shared.

“i really do love you though. one of these days you’re gonna be mine. my husband.” roman smiles, whispering to peter.

“i would want nothing more.” peter smiles, kissing him softly. roman gently pulls away and runs his fingers over the dark marks he made earlier.

“such pretty marks and a pretty neck.” he smiles.

“wish you had some, to even it out.” peter blushes at his own words.

“yeah? then make my neck as pretty as yours puppy.” roman laughs, and peters blush deepens. peters kisses are more gentle and softer than romans. he makes his way down to his neck and finds the spots that are most sensitive, by nuzzling them with his nose. roman swallows thickly. these actions being more intimate than sexual, hes drunk on love. peter sucks and nibbles, taking his time to make his marks. when he’s done, roman pulls him close and kisses him slowly, whispering sweet nothings between kisses. he plays with peters hair until they fall asleep. in each other’s arms.

as lovers should be.

[lexyscross]

Roman & Peter:

[untamedlobo]

And what if Peter moved away after everything went down.. like he said a proper goodbye perhaps to Roman but anyway he moves away and they find eachother again sometime down the road in like California or Seattle or Oregon or something ? Or Washington state . Just loosing eachother and finding eachother again plz <3

[cocaineskarsgard]

….. btw “is it casual now?” is on ao3 under the same user!!

[moonxnite]

y’all ever fantasize about a fictional character a little too hard to the point you’re convinced you should be admitted to a mental hospital?

[bethsvrse]

“Their eyes locked from across the room”

[romanicism]

because i see my meme going all over tiktok and twitter imma post it here as well cus yeah fuck it, credit if you use it

[cocaineskarsgard]

part 2…. execute me

writing is so fun

[romance-sick]

I find it interesting that when Roman is embarking on his drunken coke-fueled adventure after finding Peter and Letha together, the only one he’s cursing and screaming and losing his shit over is Peter.

The most he says about Letha is he calls her a “liar”, but Peter? He goes the fuck OFF. And even before he finds them together, he’s drinking and starting to spiral all because Peter said he didn’t wanna see him anymore.

I’m not saying it isn’t about Letha at all, because of course it is, partly. But the fact that he’s lamenting over Peter the entire time (and not to mention that Peter brings up Roman and is hesitant while he’s with Letha) is very telling of his feelings in my opinion.

And when he’s venturing through his catabasis, he comes across Chassuer, who calls him “weak” and taunts him about it, saying, “You think Peter would cry over you?”

I mean‼️ How much more on the nose can we be⁉️

But I can relate; I acted the same way when my high school boyfriend dumped me…minus the coke, I mean.

[cocaineskarsgard]

is it casual now?

p.1: crawling back to you

word count: 3.5k

pt. 2 linked here!

summary: roman is having a party, and peter shows up, uninvited. roman doesn’t seem to care. peter has to confess his feelings, roman is in denial of his own.

fic under the cut

peter knows he shouldn’t be here right now. outside roman’s house in the pouring rain, the shadows of people dancing to the music inside. he grabs the handle, pushing the door open, the music deafening now.

just find roman.

peter gently pushes through the groups of people towards the kitchen table. stopping by the cooler full of beer, grabbing one and popping the top off. finding a seat and tucking himself into it, watching the small crowd. couples dancing, some people finding their way upstairs to the spare bedrooms, some people not even bothering to find bedrooms.

and he waited.

to peter, it felt like time slowed and the music kept replaying the same exact song. it was beginning to overwhelm him, his chest felt like it was full of rocks and his head began to scream

‘get out get out get out’

he shouldn’t be here, he shouldn’t be desperately searching for roman through the faces. he shouldn’t be craving his touch, nothing would satiate his need. no one could, no matter who he tried to distract himself with. he would always find himself cumming to the thought of roman. peter swallows heavily and finishes his beer, getting up from his seat to find wherever the shots were being poured, pushing his way past a couple making out in the kitchen, by the sink, bottles of various whiskey, rum, vodka, and tequila sat. peter grabbed a fancy looking bottle of whiskey, screwing the top off and taking it back to his seat, and taking a long drink from it. his eyes scanning the room, back and forth, back and forth. until he sees roman. finally.

he took a few more drinks for confidence, before shrugging off his leather jacket, sitting it on his chair. making his way towards roman. pushing through the sweating, dancing, intoxicated crowd. peter finally reaches him, he looks up at him, roman’s green eyes meeting his.

“whiskey?”

is all peter can manage to get out, his hand subconsciously holding the bottle out to roman. roman smiles, and grabs the bottle, his fingers seeming to linger on peter’s for a moment too long to be just friendly. roman takes a long drink, and passes the bottle back to peter.

“thanks.” roman says, stepping a bit closer to peter.

words feel thick in peter’s throat, he swallows heavily, looking down at his own shoes. once again reminding himself, he shouldn’t be here. peter feels like he did the first time he experienced the change, his heart was pounding, and he was hot, his legs felt like jelly and his hands trembled. he could have began crying if he was drunker, his chest begins to tighten as his thoughts overwhelm him.

‘what am i doing here? this is so pointless. he wont even care..’

“come dance with me.”

peter looks up at roman, his cheeks hot and flushed red, and he can barely breathe. he nods and takes a breath, allowing roman to take the whiskey from his hand and pull him into the crowd.

everyone here knows roman, they all know that this isn’t normal for him.

peters hands slowly reach up to wrap around roman’s shoulders, one of roman’s hands holding peter’s waist. their bodies moving together to the music. roman turns peter around and grabs his waist, grinding against him softly. people giving the two of them disgusted glances every now and again.

roman doesn’t care that people can see him dancing with peter the way he was, he doesn’t care about his hands holding peter’s waist and pulling him closer, just for his lips to brush against peter’s neck.

“people are staring…” peter whispers.

“do you think i give a fuck?” roman growls, his grip tightening on peter’s waist.

“roman- please can we just go talk-“ peter sighs.

roman releases his grip on peter, rolling his eyes, taking his hand and pulling him upstairs to his bedroom, locking the door. the two boys sit on the bed, roman at the pillows, peter at the end, like they’ve always done. only this time, there’s a heaviness in the air.

“you wanna talk? about what?” roman asks, pulling a joint and a cigarette out from his pocket, putting both in his mouth, lighting them and hitting them at the same time. he takes the joint out and passes it to peter.

peter takes a drag.

“roman i-“ he pauses. roman’s eyes watching him intently.

“i don’t really know how else to say it other than, i can’t bring myself to enjoy fucking anyone, i can’t bring myself to enjoy being fucked because it’s not you. i swear i’ve spent more time jerking off to the thought of you than i ever have to the thought of any chick. i don’t know, i just have these feelings and it’s more than just sex, roman. it’s- god this is so fucking stupid i don’t even know why im saying this- i love you. and in more than a platonic way, i feel so much for you that i don’t even have the words to describe it. and i'm sorry that im just dropping this on you i can’t keep it to myself anymore, i just love you so fucking much i can’t think and i just sit there and smoke and think of you and dream of you and im so fucking hopeless, you’re my best friend and i’m sorry. and i know you’re not gay so i understand if you don’t want me around anymore, i get it. i’m sorry, roman. for everything. for trying to hurt you after i found out about what you did to destiny, i didn’t understand that it was an accident and i forgive you because my heart can’t take this separation anymore, i can’t handle the silence between us, you don’t call. you don’t text me. i’m ignored but i'm still so in love with you, if i didn’t love you even then, i wouldn’t have let you do what you did in the alleyway- i wouldn’t have let you drink from me. i love you so much roman that I'll supply you with blood for as long as i live just to be yours, my blood. please just tell me you love me, i need to be loved by you roman, please i lo-“

roman cuts him off by grabbing his shirt and pulling him in, kissing him roughly. peter hesitates for a moment before kissing back. roman pulls away, gently holding peter’s face. he takes a drag from his cigarette, before taking the joint from peter, and switching it with his cigarette.

“roman…”

“hm?”

“w-why did you do that?”

roman shrugs, and holds the joint out to peter. peter takes it and puts both the joint and the cigarette in the ashtray on the nightstand.

“what the fuck!?” roman gasps.

“roman why did you kiss me?”

“i wanted to i guess.”

“you guess? that’s not something that you’re unsure about..”

roman sighs.

“come here, peter.”

he slowly scoots himself closer to roman. roman gently placing his hand on peter’s thigh, giving a gentle squeeze.

“can i kiss you again?”

peters face gets hot, his throat feels dry and he can’t speak again. he nods. roman kisses him, gentle now, slow. he sits up to pull peter onto his lap. their lips and tongues tangled together sloppily as peter begins to grind against roman.

“mmm fuck that feels good..” roman groans, one of his hands palming at peter’s cock through his jeans, the other guiding peter’s hips.

peter can’t think straight, he knows he shouldn’t be doing this, he knows he’s only hurting himself. or maybe he’s not?

“please roman- i need you so bad.” peter whines, his cock straining against his jeans.

roman kisses down to his neck, licking and sucking. his own cock helplessly throbbing beneath his pants. he begins to mark one spot, just below peter’s ear, giving a gentle bite. roman drags his teeth gently along the bite mark scar from years ago, causing peter to moan.

that moan sent shivers down roman’s spine, and he wasted no time ripping their clothes off, kissing peter roughly while they undressed.

“can i suck your cock? please?” peter whines, his hand reaching down to stroke roman’s cock.

“you don’t need to ask to do that, mutt.”

mutt… it felt derogatory when he said it, but still, peter wouldn’t complain, he was exactly where he wanted to be.

peter smiles softly, opening his mouth and taking roman’s cock all the way into the back of his throat. roman reaches down and grabs onto peter’s ponytail, whimpering.

“god that’s fuckin deep-“ roman moans, his hands guiding peter’s head, slow and deep. peter just lets him use his throat like this, he’s a drooling mess, but roman looks so pretty. his eyes half lidded as he stares down at peter, his mouth slightly agape as soft moans trickle from his lips.

“good fuckin dog slut, drooling all over my cock.” roman moans. peter can’t help but grind his cock into the mattress, desperate for any sort of relief. moaning around roman’s cock, the vibrations from his vocal chords making roman’s hips buck, causing peter to gag.

roman pants as he pulls his cock out, gently holding peter’s face as he coughs.

“i’m sorry, baby. i didn’t mean to hurt your throat.” roman knelt down next to the bed, brushing peter’s hair out of his face, his hair having been messed up from roman’s grasp.

“it’s okay..” peter hums, leaning into roman’s touch. roman traces the bite scar on peter’s neck, humming softly.

“i haven’t tasted anything as sweet as your blood since the first time..” he grabs peter’s chin and tilts it, exposing his neck.

“really?” peter smiles.

“mhm. god it was basically like a drug to me, i hadn’t felt that high since i quit doing coke.” roman laughs softly. he turns peter onto his back, kneeling over him, roman leans in to kiss him gently.

“you want me, mutt?”

peter nods, his hand stroking roman’s cock. roman moans, kissing peter again, roughly this time. he trails down to peter’s neck, gently biting over the scar. peter whimpers, his cock twitching.

“fuck- please please please! god i need you so bad do whatever the fuck you want to me, i’m yours. i love you.” peter gasps as roman gently runs his fingers up and down peter’s cock, teasing him.

“anything i want?”

peter nods again, his hands tangling in roman’s hair to pull him in for another kiss.

“such a helpless mutt. you really can’t get off without thinking about me?”

“n-no i’ve tried so hard.. my mind always comes crawling back to you.. it always has.”

“how cute.” roman coos, kissing further down peter’s body, giving him small nips and bites on his stomach and hips.

“w-what are you doing?”

“what? i can’t return the favor before i fuck you?” roman smirks before taking the tip of peter’s cock into his mouth.

“fuck!- ah shit- you’re so drunk roman…” peter whimpers, his hips bucking into roman’s mouth. roman grabs his hips with his spare hand, holding them down, taking peter’s cock deeper into his mouth. peters hands grip roman’s hair and guid his mouth, slow and steady, up and down his cock. being careful to not go too deep.

“mm- have you ever done this before?” peter groans.

roman doesn’t answer, he just takes peter’s cock completely into his throat, moaning around it.

“god- oh fuck!” peter yells, he can’t help but buck his hips again at the vibration. roman just drools around him, continuing his slow and steady pace, deeper this time.

peters whines and moans drown out the music as he tugs at roman’s hair. roman moans, holding peter’s hips with his hands, digging his nails into them. he looks up at peter through half lidded eyes, and his heart almost feels as if it skipped a beat. strands of dark brown hair fallen into his face, his lips parted as he moaned breathlessly, his eyes on roman in awe.

roman picks up the pace, pulling back to focus on the swollen tip of peter’s cock, tasting the precum that had spilled out from him. peter bites his lip, his eyes rolling back and his head falling to the pillows.

“please please please! roman- god- i need you so bad.” peter whimpers, fucking roman’s face gently. his cock slick with drool. roman continues to suck at the tip, licking away any pre that comes out, before taking his cock all the way back into his throat, swallowing around it. peter fucks roman’s throat, his thrusts hard and feral as he whines and drools on himself.

“fuckin love you roman..” peter growls, tugging on roman’s hair again. his orgasm building slowly as he used roman’s mouth. he’s so drunk on love, but roman is just drunk. to peter, this means the world, to roman, he’s just another free fuck.

roman swallows around his cock again, holding it as deep as he can in his throat. peter whines as he cums. roman swallows as peters cum spills down his throat in hot spurts, his own cock dripping precum.

“jesus fuck- do you even have a gag reflex?” peter asks, holding roman’s face softly.

“no. i mean i don’t think i do, i've never done that before- sucked dick- i mean..” roman blushes. peter grabs his hair gently and pulls roman up to his face, giving him a deep kiss. roman moans into his lips, their tongues fighting for dominance. peter’s hands touching every inch of roman that he can reach.

“i need you so fucking bad, roman. please fuck me?” peter begs, nuzzling into his neck.

roman grabs peter by the waist, flipping him onto his hands and knees, facing the end of the bed. he pushes peter’s face into the mattress, tangling one hand in his hair, the other guiding his cock inside peter.

“oh fuck- god you’re so fucking tight, mutt..” roman moans, slowly inching his cock deeper into him.

peter whines and moans as roman bottoms out, staying still to allow peter to relax more. roman leans down and kisses peter’s shoulders, biting bruises into his skin. peter’s cock twitches and throbs with each bite. roman pulls out slightly just to thrust it back into him. peter moans, and his hand instinctively moved to his cock, slowly stroking it. roman fucks him slow and deep, marking and kissing his back and shoulders, he grabs peter’s wrist and moves it off his cock, replacing it with his own hand.

“oh god yes-“ peter whimpers.

roman picks up his pace, his cheek pressed against the warmth of peter’s back, his hand stroking peter’s cock in time with his thrusts. he moans into peter’s ear.

“you feel so fucking good, mutt. my dumb dog slut, so needy for my cock. i bet you’d come get fucked whenever i ask hm?” roman teases, sitting back up to fuck him rougher. his hand being pulled away from his cock.

peter nods, drooling on the sheets. roman grabs him by the hair, pulling him up against his chest. he grabs peter’s face with one hand, forcing him to look in the mirror on the wall in front of them. his other hand stroking his cock again.

“needy mutt. look at you. getting fucked like a pathetic whore. you begged so much for this. it’s what you wanted, pretty boy.” roman purrs, slowing his pace, peppering kisses up and down peter’s neck.

“m gonna cum again-“ peter whines, fucking himself against roman’s cock deeply.

roman picks up his pace again, maintaining the depth. his cock hitting just the right spot inside peter. roman moans, grabbing peter’s hair and pulling his head to the side to expose the veins on his neck. he sinks his fangs into peter’s neck. blood beginning to flow from the punctures. a love bite.

roman’s pupils dilate as he sucks the blood from him. his hips still as his cock twitches and spills his cum deep inside him.

“ah-! shit-“ peter whimpers as he is being slowly drained of his blood, his cock being drained of cum. he fucks himself into roman’s hand, cum dropping onto the sheets, covering roman’s hand. peter gently pulls roman’s hand off his cock, reaching around to play with his hair.

“more- keep drinking..” peter hums, still using roman’s cock. roman moans, his grip on peter’s hair tightening, sinking his fangs deeper into peter.

“god i fucking love you, roman.” peter moans, wincing softly at the pain. roman seemed to growl as he drank faster, he couldn’t stop. peter’s blood was so sweet and addictive, he started to feel high, his heart beating faster, his cock twitching again.

“cum for me, roman. please fill me up?” peter begs, pulling his hair harshly.

roman thrusts into him a few more times before he’s cumming again. his moans being muffled by his bite on peter’s neck. roman pulls his fangs out of peter’s neck, licking them clean, blood dripping down his chin. his cock following shortly after. peter whimpers at the loss.

roman falls back into the bed, resting his head on the pillows, catching his breath. peter lays next to him, resting his head on roman’s chest.

“i lov-“

“you got what you wanted. i got what i needed. why the fuck are you still here?” roman scoffs, lighting a joint, pushing peter off. he had sobered up now.

“i-i- i just wanted-“ peter’s eyes well with tears.

“wanted what? for me to hold you? for me to kiss you and caress your hair and play fag? want me to tell you i love you when i don’t! that doesn’t mean anything to me! you’re a drunk, pathetic whore, peter, and i don’t understand why you can’t see that i just don’t fucking love you! i’m not gay! i won’t ever be gay, so i don’t see your point in confessing all that shit to me when it doesn’t change how i feel! it can’t! use your dumb fucking dog brain to understand that i don’t want you.”

“could have fooled me when you had your dick in my ass and my cock down your throat. seems to me like i’m not the fucking fag here!”

roman punches peter in the face, seething with anger.

“i’m not a fucking faggot, and you know that. sex is sex to me. doesn’t make me gay.”

“you can sit here and deny your feelings and hit me and play with my fucking heart all you fucking want. i know that im weak enough to always come back to you because im not afraid to admit to myself who i am. i know that if you call ill be here, on my knees, doing whatever you ask me to, and letting you drink my blood because i know im a fucking drug to you. and i can’t stay away, ive tried. but i know that you need blood to survive and ill be damned if i don’t give you mine, just to feel closer to you because i know how good it makes you feel. you can pretend all you want but i know, i felt your cock get hard the very first time you drank from me, you were quite literally dry humping me, roman, and that was before i ever came out.” peter spits the blood that pooled in his mouth into roman’s face.

“get the fuck out.”

peter stands and dresses himself, glaring at roman with tears in his eyes. roman stares back, smoking his joint.

“i love you so fuckkng much roman, and you’re breaking my heart. i can’t promise to get rid of my feelings for you but i can pretend i don’t feel them when im with you, if that’s what makes you happy. if that’s what keeps you around. just please-“ peter begins to cry, wiping the tears from his eyes, blood streaming softly down his chest, staining his shirt.

“please just call.”

“i’d prefer if you just didn’t feel them at all. i’m not your fucking boyfriend or whatever you want me to be. but yeah, i’ll call. you’re only useful to me for one thing now.” roman spits. watching peter cry.

“just call me when you need me i guess..” peter chokes back more tears. roman glares.

“i lo-“

“say you love me one more time and i'm ripping your throat out.”

peter sniffles and walks out of roman’s room, tears pouring down his face as he silently cries, pushing past people, rushing out the door. he walks the entire way home, cold. having forgotten his jacket on the chair in roman’s house. the tears that spilled from his eyes making his face colder. as soon as he gets into his room, he curls into a ball, screaming and sobbing as he felt his heart shattering. the wound on his neck throbbed and his face was sore. he only stood to rummage through his closet for roman’s old pyjamas and a blanket from roman’s high school bedroom. changing into the pyjamas and wrapping himself in the blanket. even after all these years, they still smelled like him. they still held his warmth. peter stayed that way, sobbing for hours into the morning until he finally fell asleep. when he couldn’t cry anymore, and his eyes wouldn’t stay open, he allowed himself to sleep. holding roman’s blanket under his nose.

maybe i’m too busy being yours to fall for somebody new.

[kingkat12]

affair (roman godfrey x reader)

WARNINGS: 18+, piv sex, oral sex (female receiving), dub-con, Roman using his powers for bad shit, angst, cheating, toxic relationship, justice for Peter omg

summary: when your ex-boyfriend shows up at your door, how are you supposed to push him away?

word count: 5,136

"No, please!-- We need to talk!" 

Roman forced a foot in my door to make sure I wouldn't close it on him. He was wet from the rain, his usually styled hair sticking to his forehead as he panted, desperately pleading for me to hear him out. "I made a huge mistake," he breathed, regret glossing over his green eyes. "Could you please just hear me out?"

This was definitely not the most ideal situation to be in-- my boyfriend, Peter, had just left my apartment to go home and get ready for his early shift, so I had gotten ready for bed. And I certainly wouldn't be dressed in my pyjamas and slippers had I known that my ex would show up at my door looking beyond frantic. My mind raced with uncertainty, filled with endless questions and doubt; what was he doing here? Was he drunk? Why was he doing this now, after two months of being broken up? "You-- You need to go," I didn't have the time or energy to deal with the mess Roman always dragged back into my life, especially now that I was finally happy with someone else.

Worst of all, I knew for a fact that Roman had someone else too. I knew he was seeing some woman with long, blonde hair whom I refused to stalk for my own good, so why on earth was he here? The question lingered in my mind, but I had to remind myself about the one thing I had the answer to at the moment; I needed to close the door on him now. 

Upon hearing my words of rejection and feeling the door press up on his foot in an attempt to force him out, Roman wedged his arm between the door. "Let me explain," he pleaded, chest heaving. "I just ran seventeen blocks in the fucking rain to see you, could you at least spare me a minute?"

As if that was enough of a justification to show up out of the blue? "No one asked you to do that. I certainly did not," To say that I was pissed off was an understatement, but Roman's pleading eyes were making me sick with guilt. He looked like a lost puppy of sorts, and it was certainly not helping my restraint. The hand I had on my doorknob felt like it was starting to lose blood because of how hard I was holding on-- I couldn't let him in. I shouldn't let him in. 

"I know," Roman eventually said, moving his wet hair out of his eyes. "I know you don't want to see me, but I just... I needed to see you."

"... I think you should go back to your girlfriend," I started to push at his shoe with my slipper, preparing to slam the door in his face. "You shouldn't be here."

It didn't take long for Roman to figure out what I was doing, and it became apparent that he wasn't going to go down without a fight. It didn't take much strength for him to grab the door, forcing it wide open, staring down at me with a damning look of desperation I hadn't seen in any man before. "Just a minute," he breathed. "Please let me say my piece. If I don't, I swear I'll die."

I didn't enjoy this one bit-- coming to my doorstep, threatening to die if I didn't comply? I had forgotten how manipulative he could be. Being with Peter had shown me that Roman's behavior in our relationship had been beyond toxic, and I could see it clearer than ever as he stood before me now. "You're not going to fucking die," I grumbled, feeling myself grow annoyed with how he was throwing himself back into my life, completely uninvited. "Roman, it's almost midnight, maybe this manic behaviour of yours will go away with a good night of sleep?"

Frustrated, Roman tapped his fingers against the door. "Now you're just making it hard, as always,"

"And you're being crazy, as always," I mumbled, shifting my weight from foot to foot, a sense of restlessness taking over my stance. "Could you please leave? We did this back-and-forth thing months ago, I'm not interested in doing it all over again."

In true Roman fashion, standing face to face with rejection, he didn't know what to say or do. I could recognize his patterns now that we weren't together, and it was so damn typical of him to attempt to distract me from what was making me mad; "I remember those," he said, nodding toward my slippers. "Good to see you've kept them."

I knew he was distracting me, so why did it work? Sighing, I shrugged; "They were expensive... Wasn't going to throw them away just because you picked them out,"

Letting go of the door, knowing he had tranquilized the danger of getting it slammed in his face, Roman leaned against the frame in a James Dean-esque fashion. He let out a dragged-out breath, eyes rounding out; "I've missed you,"

His words snapped me out of my daze, and I immediately pulled away from the door with a groan. "Ugh, Roman, you need to go!" I turned my back to him, walking further into my apartment, my instincts telling me to get as far away as possible. "I'm finally happy with Peter, and you have no right to show up at my door just because you're bored!--" My trail of words came to a halt as I suddenly heard my door close; I knew I was fucked in an instant. My heart trembled at the recognition of the sound of the lock turning, realizing I was in for a long night. Fuck. I turned around, holding my breath, watching as he took wary steps towards me. 

"One minute," Roman said, voice low and unsteady. "That's all I ask." 

"No!" I took a few steps back, not daring to get too close. "You can't be here! This is completely inappropriate, Roman, I have a boyfriend! And I know you have a girlfriend too, along with a huge fucking drinking problem!" 

Roman sighed, a silent declaration of his frustration. "I'm not drunk," he said, gaze falling to the floor. "I just... I've come to realize that I can't live like this anymore. I want to be with you."

I clenched my fists tightly in a futile attempt to quell my agitation, but my hands continued to shake. "That's too bad," I said, a sinking feeling taking hold and clinging to me. "I'm not doing this with you again. I'm not getting up in the middle of the night to look for you, wondering whether you're either dead or drunk in some alley. Not when I have Peter."

Exhaustion drugged Roman's movements, every movement slow, every breath. It was clear that the mention of Peter was an unpleasant reminder that we were over; his shoulders slumped, the weight of guilt settling upon them. "I haven't had a drink since the day you left me," he said, his sincere eyes finding mine. "I want to be good for you... I want you. Every second of every day." 

At this point, I had taken so many steps back that I had hit the wall. It was getting a little harder to breathe, and I ended up hyperventilating-- I couldn't do this. I could still feel Peter on my shirt. Everything about this was wrong. "You need to stop," I breathed, stepping away from the wall and wandering further into my living room as I grew restless. "Please stop. Don't do this to me."

To my dismay, Roman only followed; "I'll leave her," he pleaded. "I'll leave her if you tell me to, I'll do whatever you want! I should've fought for us, I should've done so many things that I didn't do... It keeps me up at night that I let you go. I can't sleep, I can't function, I need you to know how this pains me!"

"No, I don't need to know that!" My steps came to a halt, and I pivoted on the heel of my slipper to face him. "You put me through hell, and now think you can just show up like this! Don't you think I have enough emotional baggage from you? You think I don't have enough or something, so you come here to unload some more? What the fuck am I to you, a loading dock?!"

Roman let out a harsh sigh; "Is that a serious question?" he asked, brows weaving together in frustration. "You are everything. I see that now!"

I was already exhausted from the day I had just had, and I barely had any energy left to fight with Roman. This was what we did-- we fought, we fucked, then we made up. However, this time was completely different, and it was throwing me off my course; we couldn't fuck and make up this time. But it was clear that he hadn't shown up to fight, so what on earth was this?

"Well, it's too damn late!" I groaned loudly, hiding my face in the palm of my hands. This was way too overwhelming. When the love of your life shows up at your door telling you everything you've ever wanted to hear, you want to rejoice-- not cry? My eyes burned with the tears that begged to be set free, distorting my vision as I lifted my face from my hands, unveiling that I was swimming in tears. "Do you not see what you do to me?" I breathed, sniffling. "Did you come here to drive me to tears? Do you have no remorse, Roman?"

Roman's lips parted, the worried look on his face revealing everything, his concern written all over. In the quiet moments that followed, the only sound was the echoing resonance of regret filling the space between us with its haunting presence. Our unsaid words were scattered in the air, and it felt like I was suffocating from every apology he could muster up. 

"Let me be happy," I begged, swallowing hard. "Leave now and let me forget. I'm happy with Peter... Please."

It was clear that Roman was debating whether or not to comply. His conscience was gnawing at him-- I knew him well enough to be able to spot the signs. I hated how familiar he was, how it felt like we hadn't been apart at all, like it was yesterday that he had made me feel things I never knew I could feel. The feeling of pure bliss had been like a drug that Roman constantly pumped into me, making me a complete and utter junkie. It had resulted in me falling for him despite how beyond bad he was for me. 

I remembered it all too well. The binge drinking that would go on for days, which often had him disappearing off of the face of the earth. His wandering green eyes used to leave me with such crippling anxiety, I would spend hours crying with a lingering feeling of nausea in my throat. He used to make me so, so sick in every possible way, and my body remembered it better than I did. 

However, I could also sense that something had changed. Here he was; standing in my living room, drenched in rain, clinging onto his last slivers of hope, and I knew I was in for a good run of Roman-mania. 

Of course he would come back to claim what he thought was his. Of course he'd be arrogant enough to believe it would be okay, that I would take him back, and that it would be completely alright for him to come towards me with rushed steps, kissing me with desperation that I had never felt from him before.

Our bodies were pressed together heatedly, Roman's hands on my waist keeping me in place. I could taste our shared nervous breaths, feel the thud of my heart against his, and it was all too much-- I pushed him off of me, tears pooling in my eyes as they streaked down my cheeks. "No!" I cried, my words getting choked. I couldn't believe what he had just done; my heart was actively breaking at the thought of Peter, the loveliest boyfriend I had ever had. I couldn't do this to him. "Roman, you can't just!--"

I hated the warmth that spread in my chest as Roman pulled me back in, sparks igniting in the pool of my stomach as his impossibly perfect lips moved against mine once more. I balled my fist, landing a firm hit against his chest, fighting the ecstasy that always followed any kiss from Roman. But his grip around me was impossibly tight, not letting me budge. You'd think he'd been starved for months with the way he was kissing me with hunger unmatched any other moment I'd ever shared with him, completely taking my breath away. Like this, I could almost believe that I had been on his mind in every waking moment, ravaging through his veins like a burning ache-- I couldn't lie and say that he hadn't been on my mind either.

No one could match Roman; not even my sweet, sweet Peter. I hated it with every fiber of my being. 

The only thing I hated more, was that I never wanted him to stop. 

"No," I cried against his lips, my fingers gripping his wet shirt, bunching it up, unsure whether to pull him closer or push him away once more. Was it maybe that he sensed how much I wanted this too that made him allow himself to continue?

Lightning struck in the distance, illuminating my apartment with a flash as my tears rolled down, mixing in with our kiss. No matter how wrong I knew this was, it felt like my soul was slowly leaving my body and giving itself to him once more; I knew I was dealing with a force outside of anything I could ever control. The love I had for Roman was all-consuming, crushing, devastating-- I could barely bring myself to fight him. "Stop," I breathed in between kisses. "Don't, Roman--"

My breath hitched as I realized my back was now pressed against the wall, and Roman pulled away barely an inch; I could feel the soft tickle of his breath beneath my nose, his fingers now moving through my hair as we breathed each other in. "Leave him," he whispered against my lips. "Let's try again."

My heart had become like melted wax in my chest, making it painful to breathe. "We'll crash and burn all over again," I breathed, feeling the salty traces of my tears on my lips. "We'll kill each other, you know this."

"Let me die by your hand, then," Roman connected our foreheads, closing his eyes. Like this, I could almost believe him, I really could-- he had actually missed me, hadn't he? "A death by you would be a death worth dying."

I felt my lower lip quiver in a sob; I wanted him more than anything in the world, and I had an inkling that he knew it better than I did. I couldn't allow myself to feel all the feelings I had bottled up in our time apart, knowing it would break me and lead me right back into his arms. 

But Roman was insistent-- "I love you," He whispered it as though it was a secret he had been keeping for a thousand years. I could barely accept that this was real; the words I had wanted from him our whole relationship were being spilled out like a consolation for my pain. 

I knew there was no reason for me to fight anymore; Roman knew me too well. He knew that this was all I had ever dreamed to hear, and he knew exactly how to use it against me. Unsure whether he was telling the truth or not, the emotions I had let fester deep within came rushing through the floodgates, making it impossible to do anything but feel; the love I had for him, the feelings that had never left me, the burning sensation of need and hope coursing through my veins. 

So, I didn't fight him when he kissed me once more. I didn't fight the arm he snaked around my waist, pulling me flush against him, and I didn't fight the rush I got from finally being reunited with him in this way; I had wanted his back mouth against mine since the second we were over. 

My conscience gnawed at me as Roman pressed himself up against me, but my guilt didn't hinder me from letting my fingers run through his wet hair, giving in to the engulfing infatuation I had with him. As his hungry kisses moved down my jawline and to my neck, I dared to inhale a shaky breath; I was getting dizzy from the rush of feeling him close to me like this, grabbing my waist, running his hands up my body as though he had no self-control at all. 

The inner corners of my brows turned up, giving in to the crushing feeling of relief and sadness, closing my eyes as I held him tightly against me. There was so much I wanted to say, to do, but I couldn't bring myself to push him away-- not when it felt this good. Not when his hands dipped beneath my shirt, grazing at my bare skin, drinking me in as though I was water. It didn't take long for Roman to get my shirt off of me, and I could taste our shared breath along with the thud of our combined heartbeat as it got tossed to the floor.

Roman's fingers pressed themselves into my skin, getting reacquainted after our time apart. I hadn't realized that I was tracing my hands up and down his arms, mindlessly relishing in the familiarity; I had missed him dearly, and I couldn't bring myself to lie about it any longer. My hands went back up into his hair as he kissed down my chest, my breaths getting short and choppy as I allowed myself to bask in the feeling of his lips against my body. 

"We shouldn't," I tried, the memory of my boyfriend lingering in the back of my mind.

Roman hummed against my skin, now kneeling before me. He grasped at my hips as he pressed a wet kiss against my lower abdomen, making my breath hitch. "Push me away, then," he murmured, his wet tongue tracing where he had just kissed me; it was impossible not to shiver. 

He knew he had control. He knew, that bastard knew so well-- I couldn't push him away. I was never able to do it before, so how was I supposed to do it now? I felt my tears dry up, the familiar ache between my legs pooling, threatening to run over. As if by instinct, my hips rose from the walls, begging for him to finally do something. 

Roman's grip on my hips tightened, pushing me back in place. Something about the growing smirk on his face had me questioning everything; what was I doing? Was this just a ploy for him to get laid? A big, dark part of me didn't care at this point. The fingers I had in his hair loosened as he hooked his fingers in my pyjama pants, dragging them down with a satisfied look on his face. Roman wasted no time, humming as he leaned forward to press a keening kiss against my dampening underwear.

My breath hitched, my back arching off the wall in a knee-jerk reaction-- I had missed this more than I should've. There was no passion like this with Peter, although he was sweet and considerate. But Roman was so all-taking, so consuming, I couldn't do anything other than let him do whatever he wanted to do to me. He pulled my underwear to the side, laving his tongue against me as I whimpered, tasting me. Roman's big hands grabbed my leg, forcing it over his shoulder, pushing himself closer to my sex with an aching need. 

"Roman," I tried, my guilt mixing in with the pleasure. "Don't--" All other words suddenly fled my mind as his lips sealed around my clit, sucking at me in a way that had me crying out in shock, my vision nearly turning black.

Just as I thought I would faint from the flood of emotions, Roman came back up after taking his time, breath heavy against my lips. "Still want me to go?"

My eyes glossed over, meeting his. Thunder and lightning struck outside again, lighting up my living room, and allowing me to see the traces of my slick around his mouth. Something about it was just too scandalous-- I couldn't believe any of this was happening. But we'd gone too far to go back now; "No," I breathed, slinging my arms around his neck, pulling him into a heated kiss. 

As I tasted myself on his lips, Roman picked me up, and my legs automatically wrapped around him as they always had. He didn't need to watch where he was going as he knew my apartment almost as well as I did, walking away from the wall and laying me down on the couch with ease. 

It was hard to focus on the true nature of what was going on when it felt so damn good. Everything happened in a blur; I couldn't recall how or when Roman had lost his shirt, when my underwear got pulled off and discarded, or how I had allowed this to happen. Roman's cock pressed into me slowly, still trying to be sincere despite the complexion of our encounter. With every thrust, my chest arched up against his, back curving as I whimpered at the stretch. 

My hands rested on Roman's neck as he kissed me once more, stealing my breath with every roll of his hips. The part of me that was outraged with the both of us withered away as I continued to moan beneath him, coming out in broken cries. I couldn't focus on the infidelity I was committing when he was inside of me like this, his hands wrapped around me, moving me against him. 

"Fuck, I've missed this," Roman breathed against my neck, letting out a laboured sigh of satisfaction. "All of you... All of this..."

Everything about this was dizzying; maybe this was my mind playing tricks on me, maybe this was all some dirty dream? But I could feel myself clinging to him, wet and dripping-- there was no way this wasn't real. "Rome," I cried, the old nickname slipping past my lips. 

I could feel him give in to a shiver, ears perking up. "That's sweet," Roman kissed my cheek, driving his cock further into me as I whimpered, no longer used to his length like before. Even as he whispered my name, needing me, I briefly thought of how less intimidating he was at this moment-- this was the part of Roman that would show up in my dreams, caress my cheeks as I cried, and fall asleep on top of my chest after a long day, clinging to me. I had spent so much time resenting him, that it was weird to see him so... human. Desperate.

I let out a short gasp as I suddenly realized I was almost folded in half, my legs creasing at his arms. One thing hadn't changed; Roman would always take his liberties with me, no matter the circumstances. It somehow bothered me that I was being fucked with the same amount of love as before; did he have no guilt? No thoughts of his girlfriend at home?

Fuck-- Peter!

As I remembered my boyfriend, I felt my anxiety rise. My hand shot up to Roman's chest, lips parted, ready to protest and push him away-- but as I met his eyes, the green of his irises practically engulfed my being, and not a sound would come out of my mouth. "Shh, it's okay," Roman said, voice calm, reading my panic. "It's just me... It's okay."

Something about his voice was so calming, soothing, that a certain sense of relief washed over me-- I could recall several similar instances. This had happened before; it was almost as though a greater power controlled me every time I looked into his eyes for too long. 

The hand I had on his chest went up into his hair, pulling him forward to capture his lips in a kiss. I was caught off guard as Roman pulled out only till the tip of him remained, letting out a soft gasp against him as he pushed back into me to the hilt. I felt him hum against the kiss, sighing in satisfaction. "There you go," he said, words softer than ever. "Just relax, enjoy... Let me take care of you, just like I used to."

Despite how hard my guilt was eating at me, I still felt ridiculously calm, unable to do anything else than comply. I could only moan, shivering with pleasure at the feeling of being driven forward against the couch with every thrust. 

I wrapped my arms around Roman, kissing his broad shoulders, giving in to the pleasure. I had missed this, I had missed him... All my feelings started to ball up, crying out against his shoulder at the realization of what was about to happen. "Rome, I- I can't--"

"Gonna?" His question came out along with a grunt and another snap of his hips, repeatedly pushing himself into me. 

I couldn't hold it-- I really, really couldn't. Something about the nature of our get-together mixed in with my climax, and I let my head fall back down against the couch as I cried out. It was so hard, so intense, that I had forgotten to breathe; I hadn't had an orgasm like that since the day we broke up. 

I knew I was screwed. I knew it.

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟ

As everything started to dawn on me, my breathing got heavier-- what had we done? I pulled myself closer to Roman on the bed, completely spent, seeking comfort from the person who had dragged me into this mess in the first place. 

Eventually, Roman broke the silence; "We should do porn," he mumbled, taking another drag of his cigarette. 

What? I looked up to glare at him; "Fuck you,"

"You just did," Roman smirked, glancing back at me with a rather proud expression on his face. "But I'm serious. We're damn hot."

I groaned; this was not what I needed to hear right now-- not after we had just finished round three. Roman reached out for me with his free hand, pulling me even closer, lazily running his fingers through my hair. I embraced him as I sniffled, burying my face in the crook of his neck. I was so tired, feeling my sore legs ache as I realized that up close, Roman's hair smelled like cigarettes as well. He might've quit drinking, but quitting cigarettes was a no-go in his book.

"We're horrible people," I mumbled, my words muffled up against his skin, taking in his presence. There were many times I had dreamed about us being reunited, but never that it would end up with me cheating on Peter.

Roman shrugged, turning to press a kiss against my temple. "I told you, I'm leaving her. We're fine," 

Nothing about this felt fine. I propped myself up on my elbow, watching him as he laid comfortably in my bed, almost done with his cigarette. Even after convincing me to commit such a heinous act against my boyfriend, he looked like an angel. Fucking Lucifer. "... Don't do it. Don't leave her."

"What?" Confused, Roman's green eyes rounded out. "Why not?"

I sighed, shaking my head. The decision I had made for myself was hard to air out, and I knew that protests would ensue; "I'm not leaving Peter,"

But despite my predictions, Roman got quiet. His wide, empty eyes stared right back at me, lips parted as though he was ready to speak. "... You're kidding me?" he finally said, the hurt in his face mixing in with a smidge of anger. "After this, you're going to stay with him?"

"He's good for me!" I tried, sitting up properly. "Roman, please, just-- I don't know what came over me, but this was a mistake... We're not good for each other, you know this!--"

"You're kidding me?" Roman repeated, clearly in a state of shock. 

This whole ordeal was making me feel like the second worst person in the world, with the first place going to Roman. I buried my face in my hands, realizing that I was trembling. "Please don't make this harder than it already is," I pleaded, inhaling a shaky breath. "You had no right to show up here... I was fine just the way I was, and I'm going to go back to that."

I heard Roman shift, sitting up as well. His long, slender fingers wrapped around my wrists, prying my hands away from my face. His green eyes burned into me, the fire intent on destroying whatever it could catch, and I knew I had to look away before it was too late. "I'm leaving her," he said, intertwining his fingers with mine. "I love you. I'm leaving her."

It took a lot of willpower to shake my head, rejecting his words. "Don't," 

"I will,"

"No, Roman, I don't want you to!--"

My words came to a halt as Roman leaned forward, capturing my lips in a rushed, desperate kiss. I did my best not to cry again, having previously burst into tears in the middle of round two-- I couldn't do this. This wasn't good for me. Peter was good for me.

I felt Roman's hands leave mine, and before I knew it, his fingers twisted into the hair at the nape of my neck, forcing me to look at him. His eyes searched mine, looking to find some shred of doubt to hang onto. "Do you love him?" I barely had time to open my mouth to speak before he cut me off; "You wouldn't have done this if you did."

My tears came back, pressing up on my eyes with a burning fire, begging to be set free. "Please, just... Please just go,"

Roman let out a sigh, leaning forward to press his lips against my forehead. "Call me when you change your mind,"

"I won't,"

"You will," Roman's hand slid out of my hair, caressing my cheek with his thumb, his green eyes finding mine once more. And just as I was about to look away, I felt that familiar calm wash over me as the colour green took over my vision, the numbing of my thoughts ensuing; there was no way I could fight it. I didn't stand a chance. 

Roman's lips quirked into a shameless smirk; "You will,"

a/n: (should I do a pt.2? hihi)