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runawrites-blog · 1 month

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Knee Deep In The Passenger Seat (Deadpool x Reader)

Summary: You and Wade are trying very hard to keep your relationship casual, to stay friends while sleeping with one another, but things slowly start to drift away from being casual. (Female Reader) Word Count: 4,924 Warnings: SMUT (Minors Do Not Interact). Explicit Sexual Content. Oral. Angst. Hurt/Comfort. Light Fighting. Mentions of Stalking (NOT between Wade and the Reader). No Y/N. No Deadpool and Wolverine Spoilers. A/N: I'm aware that this is a wlw song but I thought it fit so well, so please bear with me here. Crossposted on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/58203475 NO SPOILERS.

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Knee deep in the passenger seat, and you’re eating me out Is it casual now?

It was supposed to be casual. It had always been supposed to be casual. But after months of casual dates you two had gone on under the guise of friendly get-togethers, after countless sexual encounters that had slowly merged from chasing release to intimate explorations of each others’ bodies, after going from seeing each other once every other week to being at one another’s places every other day, it didn’t feel as casual anymore.

You had noticed this before because you’d always been observant, and had seen you two progress away from being casual one encounter at the time. But it had taken you until now to realise that your feelings for Wade had changed, too. As he peered up at you through half-lidded eyes, face buried between your legs, you realised you may have fallen for him. When he saw your expression he pulled back, lower face covered in your juices and panting heavily.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” You quickly shook your head, giving him a reassuring smile. “I’ve just been lost in thought, don’t worry.”

“I’m putting my whole Deadpoolussy into eating you out and you’re lost in thought?” He asked in a faked offended tone. “I can’t believe it!”

You chuckled at his antics and reached out to cup his cheek. “I’m sorry, alright? Keep going, you’re doing such a good job. I’ll pay attention to you now.”

“I fucking hope so!”

Two weeks, and your mom invites me to her house on Long Beach Is it casual now?

No more than two weeks after you had realised your true feelings for Wade his roommate had invited you over for dinner. According to Wade, Al had encountered you briefly so many times she wanted to actually meet you. And that was how you’d ended up sitting at his kitchen table, the three of you eating take-out with Al and Wade bickering back and forth to each other.

“I invite your girl over and you call me an old cunt? No manners with you!”

“You are an old cunt!”

“And you’re a little bitch but you don’t see me calling you that, do you now?” She bickered back at him, shaking her head and tutting at his grumbling before she turned back to you. “Is he like this with you, too? Don’t be afraid to put him in his place once in a while!”

Their bickering had dragged on for so long that it had almost lulled you into a small trance and you startled a little when you were addressed. “Huh? Oh yeah, he’s like this with me, too. But don’t worry I know how to shut him up.”

“Good.” Al praised you before pointing her fork at Wade. “Treat your girlfriend with some respect, Wade!”

This was definetely not casual. You two had never labeled your relationship and now Al was calling you Wade’s girlfriend. And you were trying your hardest to ignore the flutter in your stomach at those words. Next to you, Wade shook his head and laughed a little, putting a hand on your thigh.

“She’s not my girlfriend, Al. What we got is casual.” He explained, squeezing your thigh under the table and looked back at you. “Right?”

“Right.”

I know what you tell your friends It’s casual, if it’s casual now Then, baby, get me off again If it’s casual, it’s casual now

“Hey, Yukio!”

“Hey, Wade!” She waved back just as excitedly before she grinned happily at you. “Hey, Wade’s girlfriend!”

Wade chuckled at that and touched your waist, pulling you close. “Yukio, she’s not my girlfriend. We got something casual going on and I think labels like that would make it way too uncasual.”

“Uncasual is not a word, you dumb fuck.” Negasonic rolled her eyes before nodding toward you. “And leave it to a dumbass like you to not make it official when he’s found someone that puts up with him.”

“She doesn’t mind, you twerp.” Wade replied and squeezed your hip a little tighter before looking back at you. “Right, Hon?”

“Sure.”

You pointedly ignored the frown overtaking Wade’s features as he heard your tone of voice because you knew you hadn’t sounded as casual as you’d wanted to. When Colossus came in, greeting you two you quickly ducked away from Wade to give the other mutant a pat on the shoulder, greeting him with a small smile.

“So, you called us over because you needed our help.” You stated, feeling Wade’s gaze practically burn into the back of you head as you looked up at Colossus. “What can we do for you?”

“Glad you ask.” Colossus said and stretched out his arm to show you where to go. “You two can follow me and I’ll show you.”

“Perfect!”

Colossus left and you followed him, silently cursing yourself for how you’d failed at keeping this casual, for how you’d now probably outed your feelings for Wade to him. But you kept following Colossus, glad that whatever he needed help with would at least keep you and Wade occupied for now. Behind you Wade happily said goodbye to Yukio and you couldn’t help but smile at the sweet way he always interacted with her and how caring he was toward Negasonic, as well. After saying goodbye to the other teen you heard his footsteps picking up speed as he followed you.

Dumb love, I love being stupid Dream of us in a year Maybe we’d have an apartment

This was bad. Wade slowly sat up in his bed, swallowing thickly as his eyes flicked back to you, fast asleep next to him. He knew it was less than casual to let you stay after having sex but he’d always been one for rash decisions and when he’d had you panting in his arms, revelling in post-orgasmic bliss, he hadn’t really thought twice about letting you stay -- not that he often thought twice about things.

Now he was sitting in the dark, trying to make sense of his dream while the subject of said dream lay beside him. And really, a dream of you two living together in domestic bliss seemed way too Disney-esque for him but he couldn’t help but let himself enjoy the thought for a few seconds before he caught himself. There was a reason he’d wanted to keep this casual. As self sacrifical and overdramatic as it made him sound, he knew you were too good for him and the last thing he wanted was for you to settle for him.

Wade’s self depreciating thoughts were interrupted when you turned around to wrap your arms around his waist and he felt as though he was in a sappy romcom, about to get whisked of his glass slippers by his prince charming -- or in other words he felt happy. Gingerly, he lowered himself back down and wrapped his arms around you.

This was supposed to be casual. And he didn’t know why he couldn’t keep it that way.

Knee deep in the passenger seat, and you’re eating me out Is it casual now?

Your pretty eyes flicked up to look at him, gaze full of adoration, and Wade felt his insides turn the way only a knife in his stomach could make him feel. Cursing under his breath as you bobbed your head along his length, one hand squeezing his balls just the right way and the other grabbing onto his thigh. And now the tables had turned because he was so deep in his head that he couldn’t even properly enjoy this.

You gave him a questioning look, eyebrows furrowing as you started moving faster, obviously trying to get a reaction out of him and Wade brought a hand down to grasp at your hair, moaning lowly as he tried to will his thoughts away.

“You’re so good at this, fuck.”

A proud expression overcame your features as best as it could with a dick in your mouth and Wade groaned when he hit the back of your throat. Your hand let go of his thigh and he watched as you tightly squeezed your left thumb in your hand in what he knew was an attempt to fight of your gag reflex -- he’d have to ask you sometime whether or not that actually worked.

“You’re so fucking good at this, like you were made for it, like two American and one Japanese tourists were made for being sewn ass to mouth to-- to each other!”

A small amused huff of air through your nose made Wade look down, finding you rolling your eyes with such an affectionate expression, like you always did when he made a dumb joke, that he felt his chest clench more than his hole did when he saw you naked. And in that moment he realised what he was feeling.

He was in love with you.

Two weeks, and your mom invites me to her house on Long Beach Is it casual now?

“Remind me again why your mom invited me over for brunch?”

“I was on the phone with her and I needed to get going because you were waiting for me. I made the mistake of saying that I was meeting Wade.” You explained, parking your car by your mother’s place. “Now she thinks we’re dating and I can’t stand her bugging me about meeting you anymore.”

Wade didn’t even find it in himself to correct you, to tell you that you two were in fact not dating and that, coupled with the fact that he was actually going to have brunch, made him feel like he was in a cheesy romcom and not an action movie. Instead he patted you on the leg and then got out of the car, waiting for you to lead the way.

Your mother seemed excited to meet him, pulling him into a bone crushing hug which was almost tight enough that it made him happy to have regenerative powers. But he had to admit that the brunch was nice. The food was good, your mother was friendly and never commented on his looks or his vocabulary. And when your hand came down on his tigh which he knew was to reprimand him for a particularly inappropriate joke by squeezing it in warning he couldn’t help reaching down and taking it. Yet he pointedly ignored the look that you gave him.

“You have an interesting humour, Wade.” Your mother coughed, having chocked on her drink because of his joke. “But my daughter isn’t any better, so I guess you’re a nice fit.”

“Mom, I told you, Wade and I are not dating.”

“By the sound of it you’re doing all sort of less innocent things with him, he holds your hand, he pulls back your chair for you and he comes to have brunch with your mother.” She said, amusement on her features as she shook her head. “And you young people nowadays don’t call that dating or a relationship?”

“Mom, don’t start with this again.”

“I won’t, don’t worry, Pumpkin.”

“Oh, I’m so using that nickname against you.” Wade joked, giving you a grin and his smile only grew when you rolled your eyes affectionately. “I love finding new ways to annoy you.”

“I’ll get you back for that, Wade.” You smirked before turning back to your mother with a small smile. “But thank you for dropping it, Mom. We’re not in a relationship and that’s that on that.”

“I just wonder what else you two would have to do until this would constitute a relationship.”

It’s hard being casual When my favorite bra lives in your dresser

“Come back to bed, Hon.”

“I have things to do.” You chastised Wade weakly, averting eye contact with him because you knew you wouldn’t be able to resist him for long if you turned around to look at him, splayed out on his bed with his legs spread invitingly. “Have you seen my bra?”

“The one you were wearing when you came over? No, I haven’t.” Wade shrugged before pointing at his dresser. “But you got another one stashed in my dresser.”

Once more you were reminded of how quickly you two were leaving the territory of a casual relationship, of friends with benefits, because when you opened the drawer you saw that not only was it one of your bras but that it was your favourite bra. You only realised that you had frozen when you felt a pair of arms wrap around you from behind and a head came down on your shoulder.

“If you’re just going to stand there like a pony figurine in a mason jar you might as well come back to bed.” Wade joked, leaning down to nip at your neck. “And then I can really make you feel like a figurine in a mason jar.”

“If you make one more cum jar joke, I will kick you in the balls.”

“You’re grinning as you’re threatening me.” Wade laughed softly, poking his finger into your side accusatory. “Don’t even pretend that you don’t find me funny.”

Rolling your eyes affectionately at his antics you resigned yourself to the fate of Wade dragging you back to bed. Maybe being in love with him wasn’t so bad, maybe it was fine to feel not only aroused by his touch but also feel your stomach flutter. If only you had the balls to tell him how you felt.

And it’s hard being casual When I’m on the phone talking down your sister

Unbeknownst to you, Wade was having the exact same crisis that came to and acme the night you two had to help your sister. She’d called in a panic, crying on the phone and going on about how her ex-boyfriend had broken into her apartment, demanding her back, and how she had just about managed to lock herself in her bedroom. Before you could assure her that you were on your way, she screamed on the other end of the line, screeching about how her boyfriend was trying to break down the door.

The line went dead and you let the phone sink into your lap, eyes looking up at Wade’s concerned face in the armchair opposite you. You didn’t let him get a word out before you were on your feet, rushing to put your shoes on. He came after you, pulling on his boots and asking you what was happening as you made your way down the stairs to your car. Quickly, you explained the situation and he grabbed your wrist before you could get into the car.

“Let go of me. I need to help my sister.”

“I know and you will. But I’m coming with you.” He said, shushing you with a finger to your face when you opened your mouth to argue. “When you’re hooking up with the Merc with a Mouth, you get the mouth but also the mercenary. Let’s go!”

Within the next ten minutes, you were at your sister’s place and as soon as you’d made it to her door, Wade was pushing you aside to kick it down. You found her ex-boyfriend Hunter by the door to the bedroom, hammering on it and you watched as Wade marched over. He grabbed Hunter around the throat and pulled him away, slamming him into a nearby wall. It didn’t even occur to Wade that beating up your sister’s stalker and making sure you both were safe was the furthest thing from casual he could think of because Hunter grabbed onto his arms in anger and startled him from his thoughts.

“Who the fuck are you?”

“I’ll be the last fucking thing you see if you don’t leave that woman alone!” He snapped at Hunter and you almost gasped in surprise when Wade pulled a knife from hs pocket, flicking it open and holding it to the other man’s cheek. “Go on, test me!”

Snapping out of your stupor you rushed over to the bedroom door and knocked on it. “Sis, it’s me. Open up the door. Wade’s got Hunter under control, so you’re safe.”

When your sister opened the door, you saw the tears running down her face and you immediately drew her into a tight embrace. Hunter tried to get lose but Wade flicked the knife around and stabbed him in the thigh, making the man howl out in pain. You turned your sister around, getting your body in between her and Hunter.

“Will you leave her alone or do you want to find out where else I can shove my knife?”

“Get off me!”

“Not good enough!” Wade slammed Hunter down to the floor, his knee pressing him down. “Hon, tell him that I’m not joking around. Tell him what I did to the last guy who thought it would be a good idea to stalk and harass innocent women!”

Holding your crying sister tighter you fixed Hunter with a determined stare. “I can’t tell you the details because I don’t want to traumatise my poor sister but let’s just say it wasn’t pretty and that guy isn’t pretty anymore, either!”

“I’m sorry.” Hunter cried out, face covered in blood and tears in his eyes. “I won’t talk to her again, I promise. Please, believe me!”

Wade pulled Hunter off the floor and dragged him to the door, throwing him into the hallway and making him collide with the opposite wall. “If I hear that you as much as looked at her again, I will come and find you. You don’t want that.”

Hunter nodded and scrambled off the floor, running down the hallway and Wade slammed the door shut, pulling up a chair to hook under the handle and barricade it. Then he turned back to you and your sister, finding her still crying and you trying to comfort her.

“I’m being serious. If he harasses you again, call me. Your sister can give you my number.”

“Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.”

“I’m so glad my sister’s boyfriend is a damn mercenary.”

Wade caught your eyes for a second and shook his head. “I’m not her boyfriend. This is a casual thing.”

“But you must have already been staying at her place to-- to even know what was going on and-- and you came over with her to help. How is that casual?”

“It just is!”

The look of hurt that crossed your face wasn’t lost on Wade but before he could speak up you did. “What’s your problem?”

“How can we keep this casual when I’m going to brunch with your mom, blind Al invites you over for dinner every-- every week, when you keep clothes at my place, when-- when I can’t stop thinking about the way you look at me?” He rambled, catching himself a little too late and shaking his head. “Fuck, I can’t do this anymore!”

You stared at Wade for a few long seconds, a range of emotions passing your face, from hurt over anger to hopelessness, and he felt terrible for making you feel like that. He was in love with you, as cheesy as it sounded, and he’d made you feel so horrible. This was the exact reason why he couldn’t be with you. He made you feel like that.

“What are you saying we should do?”

“I need some space.”

And I try to be the chill girl That holds her tongue and gives you space

Giving Wade space was the hardest thing you’d done in a while, harder than taking down a crime syndicate, harder than fighting bad guys that wanted to take over the world and harder than stopping an alien invasion. Everything reminded you of him, from the spot on your kitchen counter he’d always sit on, over the way your passenger seat was always all the way back to allow for either of you to sit in the leg room and the shoes he’d left in your doorway the last time he’d come over, to his smell that still lingered on the pillow he used when he slept at your place.

You were so in love with Wade and being without him was tearing you apart.

So on a particularly lonely evening, with rain pouring down outside your windows, two weeks after you two had separated, you called him up. You tried to sound casual as you suggested coming over for sex, but you knew he would likely see right through you. As casual as you tried to make this hangout sound you knew the weight behind it. But he still agreed to come over, his voice sounding as casual as ever as he said he’d be over in half an hour.

Your doorbell rang only ten minutes later.

And this whole thing started again, the two of you sleeping with each other, promising one another that this time it would be casual because neither of you wouldn’t want to ruin your friendship. But you knew it was a damn lie and you just waited on how long it would take for things to fall apart this time around.

I try to be the chill girl But honestly, I’m not

The fourth time Wade came over after you two had started your strange kind of relationship again was when he knew this would be impossible to keep casual. You tried your best and he could tell but it wasn’t just you who made it impossible. He had also missed you a lot and now that he was back with you he felt his feelings only growing.

Everything reminded him of how much he was in love with you. From watching you make breakfast in his kitchen, over the grin you flashed him whenever he made a dirty joke to the way you held onto him when you slept over at his place.

He tried to keep things casual but he knew he couldn’t and it became clear when your mother invited you two out for dinner so he could meet your father. And once more, at your mother’s insistence, you’d agreed.

“Why would you say yes? We just agreed to try to keep this casual and you tell your mom I’ll meet your father?”

“I’m sorry, you know how she is. It’s just dinner at the diner downtown. It’s casual.”

“It’s not!”

“Because you can’t keep it casual! My parents have had dinner with casual friends of mine too many times to count, so why can’t they have dinner with you and me?” You snapped and he glared at your accusation that this all was his fault, even though it partially was. “If you don’t want to come to dinner with me and my parents then don’t!”

“This is making it impossible for me to keep it casual!”

“No one is fucking forcing you to come to dinner!”

“Good, because I won’t come!”

I fucked you in the bathroom when we went to dinner Your parents at the table, you wonder why I'm bitter

He still showed up on time, wearing a brightly coloured button-down. The look of sheer surprise on your face made him almost laugh but he didn’t, still upset after your fight, though he didn’t know what he was even this upset about. He knew that it was most likely because he would never dare to take the next step, too convinced that he was no good for you -- after all, who would want to date a mercenary with a ton of emotional baggage that killed people? But he also felt bitter because he knew that he had been so adamant about keeping this casual that you would never take that step, either.

But the dinner went by nicely, without anyone asking strange questions and with your parents eventually getting distracted talking to an old friend they’d just happened to meet at the diner. He felt your hand on his thigh, creeping upwards, and raised an eyebrow at you to which he only got a small smirk. It didn’t really surprise him because you two had fucked in public bathrooms many times before but never at a restaurant, so your interest in this made part of him rear up in interest.

So when you excused yourself to the bathroom, he waited a few more minutes before declaring that he would get another drink and on his way to the waiter he made a detour, sneaking into the bathroom after you. And before long he had you propped against the wall, one leg hooked over his waist as he pounded into you. One of your hands grabbed onto his neck while the other covered your own mouth. He kept quiet by biting and nibbling on your neck, leaving deep purple marks and making you glad you’d worn a turtleneck that day.

“Come on, come for me.” He urged you on, placing kisses up and down your neck. “Come on my dick, like a good girl.”

You whimpered quietly at his words before taking your and from your mouth, letting it join your other hand on the back of his neck and pulling him in for a deep kiss. Strangely it wasn’t the quiet praise you mumbled against his lips as he hit just the right spot or your sweet kiss that broke the camel's back. It was your nails gently carding down the back of his neck that did it, making Wade once more very aware of how he could never have you.

It was a fate he was choosing for himself -- he knew that and he didn’t need any of the readers calling him out on it -- but it was nonetheless upsetting. You gasped in surprise when he pulled out and set you down, letting your skirt fall from where it had bundled up around your hips.

“What’s wrong?”

“I can’t do this anymore and I know I’ve said this before but I really can’t. I’ve tried and I can’t.” He shook his head as he dressed himself again, watching you do the same. “I can’t keep this casual.”

“Wade, please don’t leave.”

“This is for your own good.”

“You don’t get to decide what’s best for me.”

“Just get out of here, you dumb animal!”

“If you fucking pull a ‘White Fang’ on me now, I will lose it.”

“’White Fang’? I was quoting Spongebob!” Wade defended himself but then shook his head because this was not the discussion he wanted to have. “Let’s just end this.”

With that, he left and he felt his heart actually ache for you as he heard your footsteps hurrying after him, calling out for him to stop. He heard the tears in your voice as he left the room, as he ignored the staff threatening to ban you from the diner for hooking up in the bathroom and as he heard your parents calling after you to stop you from leaving. But he kept going, knowing this was better for you or at least convincing himself that it was. And when he got into his old run-down car and pulled out of the parking lot, he saw you standing by the entrance, crying your eyes out.

I hate that I let this drag on so long

You had never been a quitter, never one to back down from a fight and you knew it wouldn’t surprise Wade when you knocked on his door not even half an hour later. He opened the door, opening his mouth to tell you to leave again but you dove in to kiss him, grabbing his head with both your hands and pulling him close to your body. And to your surprise he kissed you back for a fraction of a second before he shoved you off again, shaking his head and waving his hands around. But you didn’t give him a chance to speak because you were faster.

“I love you, Wade!”

“You’re fucking with me right now, aren’t you?”

“No, I’m not.” You said sternly, grabbing his hands and making him look at you. “I was such a damn moron letting this whole casual thing drag on for so long because I was too much of a pussy to tell you, but I love you.”

Wade blinked at you and opened his mouth to speak before closing it again, then repeating the process a few more times. If this situation hadn’t been so serious you would have laughed at how you had successfully managed to shut him up. But the quiet was making you nervous so you spoke up again.

“Please, just say something. I can handle rejection, too. But please, say something.”

“I love you, too!” He almost yelled, blinking in surprise at his outburst before quickly continuing. “But we can’t be together. You know, I don’t want this to be some stupid romcom cliche but this really is for your own good. I’m a mercenary, even if I’ve saved the world or some people a few times, and I’m terrible with feelings and you’ve seen yourself how bad I am at communicating.”

“So what?”

“So what if you’re bad at communicating, you’re bad at feelings and you kill people? I still love you and I want to be with you, for real, without anything casual. Please, let me decide for myself what’s good for me.”

“Are you sure?”

“Never been more sure of anything before.” You smiled, looking back at him. “Does that mean we’re no longer trying to just be casual?”

“Never again.”

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velvrei · 2 months

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a/n: ik i should be doing requests but i had to share this with the world

…

introducing wade & logan to chappell roan

the three of you were sat on the couch in wade and logan’s apartment, watching the television until a commercial regarding the rising stars in music, and being the dramatic one you are, you almost screamed when chappell down came on.

both boys looked at you with pure terror in there eyes.

“what was that?”

“why are you screaming?”

you just wanted to get their attention so you laughed, and explained. “that was chappell roan. i absolutely love her.”

“who is that..?” logan asked, slightly confused, as wade nodded his head in agreement that he didn’t know who this woman was.

your mouth fell open. “neither of you know who chappell roan is?” both boys rolled their eyes, knowing they now unintentionally signed up for a day of education about chappell roan.

by the end of the lecture, each boy had come to a conclusion of their favorite songs.

logan’s favorite was after-midnight, because wade made a comment on how the song would be his theme song. logan acted like that comment annoyed him but logan actually smiled at it.

wade’s favorite was femininominon because he claimed it “followed the same speed of his brain” then wade continued to go on a rant about how he read this thing where that happens a lot with people with faster brains, which caused logan corrected him and said adhd.

the interactions between the two made you laugh, but you were happy you were able to share that music with them.

#deadpool and wolverine smut #deadpool smut #deadpool and wolverine #deadpool 3 #deadpool #wade wilson #chappell roan #hugh jackman #ryan renolds and hugh jackman #hugh jackman smut #ryan renolds #logan howlett x you #logan howlett fluff #wolverine fluff #wolverine x reader

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eraenaa · 7 months

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Casual

Inspired by the song "Casual" by Chappell Roan

Rafe Cameron x Reader Tag List

Synopsis: You would settle for causality as long as you had Rafe by your side.

Warnings: ¿Angst?, Mature, 18+, P in V Sex, Oral Sex (F receiving), Fingering, Choking, Not Proofread

Word Count: 2,126

A little break from Aemond fics because I just recently watched an obscene amount of Rafe edits, and now I'm obsessed.

“Rafe… fuck, Rafe,” you called— cried as he was stated between your legs. Your lusted eyes warily scanned the outside, mortified by the idea of you two being caught in such a state. “Shh… I’m doing my best work here,” He hummed and nipped the inside of your thigh, making you whimper. Your hands tangled in his hair, your lips were in between your teeth as his fingers slipped in and out of you, his ring adding a sense of coolness that only aided you in pleasure. “We—we might get caught!”You shirked as his lips sucked on your nubbin. “I really don’t fucking care, baby,” Rafe growled and nuzzled his face closer to your cunt.

You gasped and took hold of the grab handle of his truck as his fingers curled at the familiar sensation of you peaking was about to break. “Rafe!” You cried, and he just chucked and continued to draw circles on your clit, waiting for you to come undone on his lips. “Fuck you always taste so good,” he groaned as he lapped your cunt, and you tried to catch your breath. You slumped on the passenger seat, your back resting on the door and your head leaning against the fogged window. You sighed as his lips met yours, tasting yourself on his tongue while his hand went to cup your breast under your shirt. “We could have gotten caught,” You say against his lips when both of you parted for air. “So what? Let them see how great I am at eating you out,” he said with a sly smirk, enjoying the way your cheeks would flush and your gaze would bashfully go downward.

Rafe chuckled and kissed your cheek before settling himself in his seat and starting the engine of his truck. “Come on, let’s get you home,” he said, resting his large hand on your thigh. “Or would you rather go back to mine?” He asked, and you shook your head at his teasing tone. “I can’t. My parents are expecting me for dinner,” You said and stared at his hand on your thigh; it was odd that you found that part of his so attractive. Rafe hummed and squeezed the plump flesh of your thigh. “That reminds me, Rose told me to tell you you’re invited for dinner tomorrow.” He said as he turned a street. You slightly frown at his words. “Why?” You ask. It was unexpected— maybe even inappropriate because, though having known him and his family for a couple of years, you and Rafe were not on a level of social intimacy that warranted you joining him and his family for Sunday night dinner.

He had made it perfectly clear to his friends what the two of you were. That you two were just casual— just simply going about and fucking each other. “Nothing but a pastime— purely physical,” were his words. You would admit that it stung greatly. But you could not hold it against him because you perfectly knew that Rafe was not the committal type. He wanted something less serious and where there would be no strings attached. And you, who grew up with the idea of relationships stuck in your brain— being labeled as a hopeless romantic by your friends, settled for a casual fling with Rafe because… you wanted him— the whole of him. Even though he only wanted your body, that was enough for you to settle because you’d rather have him want you in a physical sense than not have him want you in any sense at all.

Rafe simply shrugged at your question. “Want me to pick you up?” He asked as he was pulling up to the driveway of your family’s estate. “Uh… no, I’ll just ask our driver,” you say because the act of him going out of his way to pick you up and drive you to dinner with his family was an act of intimacy that you would surely misinterpret and lead you to grow fonder of him whilst he still wants the casualty that did not come easily to you. “You sure?” He asked as his car stopped in the curve of your driveway. “Yeah, wouldn’t wanna impose,” You smile and remove your seatbelt. Rafe nodded and moved to kiss you again. And though you enjoyed kissing him, there was uncertainty on your lips.

“His step-mom invited me to dinner,” you told your friend through the phone. “Why?” They asked in the same confused tone you heard earlier. “I don’t know, too,” You say as you raid your closet for something to wear for the dinner that is fast approaching. “I thought you two were casual?” They asked—their tone hinting distaste. “We are,” You say and stare at yourself in the mirror, deciding which dress suits you best. Strategic in what to wear. You wanted your clothes to be casual but not come off as uncaring.

“Then why would she…?” Your friend trialed, and you debated if you should tell them the thought that pestered in the back of your head. If you should utter the hopefulness and optimism that you harbored. “What if… what if Rafe changed his mind? Maybe he doesn’t want casual anymore, and inviting me to their family dinner is a sign of formality— of exclusiveness.” You said, waiting for their reply. Your friend was silent, trying to find words that would not offend your ludicrous thoughts. They had only met Rafe twice during the summer, but they had the accurate image of him being noncommittal and just one to play around with girls.

“Am I reading too much into this?” You sighed as you were met with stony silence. “A bit, yes,” they finally spoke, making you sigh heavily. “I told you this was not your brightest idea,” they said, and you shook your head. “Just… be cautious. I don’t want you to get hurt. You gave him a lot of your firsts… it’s just— I, for one, know the regret and pain in tying your firsts to someone unworthy of it.” You bit your lip and nodded. Saying goodbye to your friend and promising to visit them in New York once spring break comes.

“You’re here! She’s here!” Weezy exclaimed as she abruptly opened the door of Cameron’s estate. Rafe’s younger sister practically bouncing around and beaming up at you. “Hey,” Race greeted as he descended down the steps, “What’d you bring?” He asked and took the box in your hands; his stepmom Rose coming to greet you in the foyer. “Oh… I brought cupcakes,” you smiled as Rose greeted you with a hug. “Oh, you shouldn’t have gone through the bother, but thank you. Come on, dinner is ready,” Rose smiled, and Weezy took the box and followed her mom. Rafe guiding you to their dinning room with hand placed on the low of your back, edging towards your ass and you had to elbow him in fear of being seen. His reply was only an amused chuckle.

The night proceeded with his parents getting to know you better. Interested in you because your family was one of the wealthiest— if not, the wealthiest on the island. Yet, unsociable because your parents had no want to participate and spend their off time in the country club nor attend the parties thrown by the island’s elite. You, however, were introduced to Rafe through his sister, Sarah, who was notably missing from the dinner table.

You were discussing something with Weezy when Rafe leaned closer to you and whispered something in your ear. “Meet me in the bathroom in two minutes.” He stood up, excusing himself, saying he had a call to take. You battled with yourself if you should do as he asked. It was completely inappropriate to have sex in the washroom whilst his parents and sister were at the dinner table. But the thought of Rafe pushing you against the bathroom counter, you watching him as he fucked you through the mirror… it was enough for wetness to come to your cunt, and you quickly excused yourself from the table.

You looked behind you before taking hold of the bathroom doorknob. The door swung open, and Rafe pulled you in, quickly smashing your lips and moving you to sit on the cool marble counter of the sink. “Thank god you’re wearing a dress,” He practically growled as his fingers were quick to be met with your cunt and your lips continued to dance. “They might get suspicious,” you breathed out as his fingers worked their way into you, and his lips moved to your neck. Rafe groaned as your hand cupped his length through his trousers. “Again, baby, I don’t fucking care.” You gasped as Rafe abruptly pulled you off the counter, turning you to face the mirror and bundling your hair in his hand. His other hand was frantically hiking up your dress and pulling down your underwear. “Such a perfect ass,” He mused and harshly gripped the flesh, making a wince.

You bit your lip and rolled your eyes in pleasure as his cock plunged deep into you. Rafe hissing in pleasure and gripping your hair tighter. “So fucking tight— if I weren’t the one to take your virginity, your cunt would have me believe you’ve never been fucked before… but we both know that’s not the truth, huh baby?” Rafe taunted as he rested your head on his chest, your back arched as he pounded into you. You let out a stifled moan as he removed his grip from your hair and instead placed it around your neck; his other hand, the one with his ring, found its way to the bundle of nerves on your cunt, determined to make you cry out in pleasure— for his family to hear your actions.

“Rafe— please… I—“ You rasped as you felt the need for release. “Aw… not yet, baby… you don’t get to come yet,” Rafe taunted and gripped your neck tighter, enjoying the way tears spilled from your eyes and the way your cunt clenched tighter around him. “Watch me fuck you, pretty girl. I want you to watch how pleasured you are by my cock.” You obeyed his order and watched at the pleasured state both of you were enveloped in, your eyes locking with blue ones through the mirror. You plead with him for release, which only spurs a deeper desire in Rafe. When his thrusts became sloppier, and his grip on your neck grew tighter to the point he was truly close to obstructing your breathing, that was when he finally let you come undone.

It had been a week since the family dinner at Rafe’s. Your parents were away on business, giving you and Rafe the opportunity to play house. The lines of casualness blurred when you had Rafe holding you close in sleep every night when he would wake you with his kisses and his lips on your cunt. The lines of casualness faded away when you cooked for him at dinner, and he served you breakfast in bed.

You started to wonder if being casual meant that you would take showers together, that you would be in each other’s arms as you watched hours of movies. Was it still casual when he handed you his phone because his sister wanted to talk to you? It’s hard to say you two were just casual when he went through the piles of your baby albums and forced you to tell the story behind each photo, making you recall your childhood with such interest that it made your heart flutter. It was far from casual when he lay on your lap and started to open up about his torn relationship with his dad and mum; your hand soothingly brushed his hair whilst the other was intertwined with his.

Hope was dangerously blooming in your heart that perhaps you two were starting to be more than casual. The actions shown led that way. You only had to muster up the courage to ask Rafe for more, to establish something stable between the two of you. So you went to his party with hopes that you two would be something more. Idealistic and idiotic because the moment you stepped foot in his house, with the crowds of people and the music blasting, all you could see was him in the corner, making out with another girl. Holding her in the way he held you, kissing her in the way he kissed you. Your heart pitted, and your mind scolded you for being stupid enough to hope. You hated yourself because you made yourself believe that Rafe Cameron would ever want something more than casual.

Part 2

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hapinesbuterfiy · 7 months

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casual - rafe cameron ೨౿

🎧🪩 casual - chappell roan

pairing: rafe cameron x reader

summary: you and rafe have been casually seeing each other for what feels like forever now, but is your relationship really casual?

warnings: angsty, rafe is a dick in some parts, not proofread!!

"baby, no attachment" is a phrase you know all too well, one that rafe cameron whispers to you between passionate kisses, before getting on his knees and devouring your pussy in the passenger seat of his jeep. nothings official between you two. you're relationship is casual, according to rafe. he's confusing, to say the least.

rafe could be all over you, wrapping his arms around your waist in front of the entire club, drunkenly telling you how beautiful you looked. he'd call you in the middle of the night, to say "m' pickin' you up be ready in 5. we'll go to that diner you like, i miss your face." you spent countless nights with each other, sharing your deepest secrets and the most intimate parts of yourselves. your favorite bra is still in his dresser from the first time you hooked up, and he refuses to give it back to you because he likes the "constant reminder of your tits." you even got invited to spend a weekend with him and his family in paradise island.

but you're relationship is casual. right?

you hate yourself for letting it drag out this long. rafe's different around his friends, distant. there are even rumors going around that you're "just a girl he bangs on the couch." you try your best to be nonchalant and give him his space, but deep down you know you're not capable of that.

it's casual but you spend hours on late-night phone calls, having the deepest conversations and confiding in each other with things you have never told anyone else. you're his casual hook-up but picks you up in the middle of the night to take you back to tannyhill because he misses you. so really, is it casual? no.

it's 1:52 am. you find yourself underneath your plush duvet cover, you're small reading light illuminating the space, on facetime with rafe, again. you always carefully listen to everything he has to say, trying your best to console him, especially when it comes to everything going on with his dad. however, this time it's different. you're sick of the constant state of confusion he puts you in, you decide that now is the perfect opportunity for you to confront him about it.

"rafe. can you come pick me up? i wanna talk to you about something." you're soft-spoken but your tone is stern, you're not going to allow yourself to continue to play these games with him, you want answers.

he's unfazed by your request, simply grumbling in response. you can hear his bed squeak as he gets up and grabs his keys off his nightstand. he mumbles "mhm, text when i'm there." before ending the call.

you rush to your dresser, throwing on your favorite brandy melville set and fuzzy slippers, he'll be here soon. rafe's massive headlights could be seen from down the block, you didn't need him to text you to be aware of his arrival.

you step up into the passenger seat, carefully shutting the door behind you as you get into the truck.

"hi. missed you today. what did you wanna talk about?" he motions his hand toward your thigh, gripping the soft flesh under your shorts. the truck was freezing. you could feel the goosebumps appear throughout your limbs as you sat their, you're only relief from the cold being rafe's hands.

"rafe... i know you said no attachment but i can't do this whole casual thing anymore. 'm not that kinda girl." you're eyes dart down to the carpet beneath your seat, trying you're best to avoid contact with him until he responds. .

he lets out a large, exasperated sigh as he removes his hand from your thigh, brushing his fingers through his greasy curtain bangs as he shakes his head.

"listen kid. alright? 'm not in the headspace to be in a relationship right now. i don't wanna get into anythin' serious. i don't wanna hurt you. yea?" he brings his focus back to the road ahead of him, driving around in circles as his firmly grips the wheel.

your face drops. you're in complete disbelief that he had the audacity to say that to you. "you don't wanna hurt me? are you fuckin' kidding me? rafe you're casual bullshit has been hurting me for the past six months." you begin to yell, anger completely taking over you.

he pulls over, not wanting to get distracted while driving, he knows how much you hate it when he doesn't pay attention to the roads. "hurting you huh? so you mean to tell me that i'm hurtin' you by buying you shit, listening to your rants, and givin' you the best sex you ever fuckin' had? really?" he throws his arms up in defense, licking his lips while eyeing you down.

you could feel the tears starting to spill out from your eyes. you manage to let out a "rafe it's not fair, i can't just do casual" between sniffles, you place your head into your hands as you continue to sob into them. oh shit— he knows he fucked up.

he parts his lips, letting out a large exhale as he tries to come up with a quick way to calm you down. he moves his body so his torso is situated above the glove box, making it easier to reach you. he pulls you into his arms, wiping the tears off of your cheeks with the pads of his thumbs, pepping soft kisses to the top of your head.

"sh. i know. i know. 'm big bad rafe cameron yea? 'm sorry i hurt you. i gotta figure my shit out. 'm gonna take you back to my place, we'll talk about it in the mornin' alright?"

you nod in response, embarrassed that you let yourself break down like this in front of him. you know it's wrong, but maybe you weren't delusional after all. maybe when you wake up in the morning you wont be casual anymore.

#💌#♡ rosie writes ! ୨🎀୧ #divider by crazyfm #rafe cameron #outer banks #rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron smut #rafe cam #rafe cameron x you #rafe cameron prompt #rafe cameron angst #rafe cameron fluff #rafe cameron x female reader #rafe cameron concepts #rafe cameron fanfiction #chappell roan

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loveisanimaginarydagger3000 · 3 months

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Good Luck, Babe! (4)- Good Luck

Wanda Maximoff X Reader 18+

Inspired by the song 'Good Luck, Babe!' by Chappell Roan

Summary: Returning to Westview after twelve years away causes you to look back on your secret love affair with Wanda, to remember the intimate moments you shared together before her refusal to accept her true self drove the two of you apart, leaving you to pick up the pieces of your broken heart alone.

What happens when you reunite with the woman you've been trying so hard to forget, forced to watch her suffer in an unhappy marriage that was slowly drowning her, still too scared to confront her true feelings?

Chapter 4- 4k Words

Good Luck, Babe! Masterlist

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 5

The deafening silence of your apartment suffocated you as soon as you shut the door, your fingers twitching subconsciously by your side as you felt anxiety and panic clawing its way up your throat, your gaze hurriedly looking around the apartment to find something focus on besides the feelings you’d be bottling up on the way home. It tore you in half to act as though nothing was wrong for the rest of the night, to smile at her in that loving and adoring way knowing it would be the last time as you waved her goodnight, to kiss her a final time, to kiss her goodbye. It broke you, but you refused to acknowledge it, too scared of drowning in your sorrows. You didn’t want to feel this way, you didn’t want to feel the overwhelming sense of pain and loneliness, to listen to your screaming thoughts in the silent room, the claustrophobic doubts clouding your mind at the decision you made. You couldn’t handle having to face everything, to face the fact it was over, the fact that the one person who made you feel free was never yours. She was never yours.

You could feel your chest tightening at the relentless thoughts, your mind begging you to do as you always did and push everything away, to just pretend you were fine and put a smile on your face as if nothing was wrong. You tried to get the corner of your lips to tug up, to put a brave face on as your empty stare took in your apartment, but your lower lip inevitably trembled, struggling to fight the anguish coursing through you. You couldn’t do this.

Tears pricked at the corner of your eyes as your crushed form made its way through the hallway to your room, looking longingly at May’s room as you passed it, desperately needing her comfort right now. You needed her to tell you everything was going to be ok, to hug you and soothe your worries but she wasn’t there. You were alone once again. You always ended up alone, it wasn’t fair.

You shut your door a little harder than you intended as you reached your room, your legs giving way as everything crashed down on you at once, a broken sob painfully being torn out of you. Why? Why did it have to end like this? Why did you have to love her? Your hands clutched at your head as you curled up into a small ball, knees pressed against your chest as your back rested against your door, body shaking with cries as the damn that was keeping your emotions in check burst. Your chest felt hollow, an agonising emptiness settling there as your palms pressed against your eyes, trying to stop the floods of tears escaping them whilst the joy and love that was once consumed your heart was replaced by a gnawing ache. Why couldn’t she just love you?

The question tormented your thoughts, your cruel brain dragging you down a despondent and painful trail of thoughts as you tried to control your ragged breathing, the panic and anxiety of feeling so out of control still burdening you.

Why was she so scared? Did she not think you were worth loving? Were you worth loving at all? Was it just casual? Were you an experiment? Why her? Why did you have to love her? Why does it hurt so much? You didn’t even do anything wrong. All you did was fall in love.

You drifted down the spiral of these thoughts, unable to stop yourself as they plagued your mind for what felt like hours, your body exhausted with the overwhelming feeling of heartbreak whilst you wiped your eyes once more carelessly, trying to get a grip of yourself.

The weight in your chest remained constant as you stared off at your bed feeling numb, your body drained as you slumped against the frame of the door, fingers brushing back your locks in a stressed manner as your thoughts continued to race, only pausing when your eyes caught a glimpse of something peeking under your bed, a ripple of unease stirring within you.

Gradually, you pushed yourself off the floor, making your way to your feet as you stood unsteady, limbs feeling numb and heavy as you took a reluctant step closer to the box, another stab of agony directed at your heart as you realised what it was.

Polaroids and various mementos of your secret times together with Wanda filled the small wooden box, leaving you powerless to another onslaught of tears brimming at your eyes as you stared at the item, conflicted on what to do with it. Part of you was tempted to open it, to recall the memories of every single photo you took, to remember the way you felt when she kissed your cheek before snapping a picture, the way your heart fluttered when she would look at you with mirth in her eyes when you would point the camera at her, offering you a loving smile as she waited for the click every single time. The other part of you wanted to throw the items away in anger, to hate her for tainting the memories but you couldn’t. They meant too much to you, she still meant too much to you.

A deep sigh left you as you used your foot to push it out of sight, hiding it further under your bed like a dirty secret because that’s what it was, that’s what you were. You could feel the irritation bubbling inside you at the thought, your jaw clenching in annoyance as you stared at where the box was, another wave of hurt washing through you as more memories and thoughts tormented you, reminding you of the gaping wound in your chest.

Why weren’t you enough?

***

The corridors of the college campus were filled with students smiling and grinning at one another, cheers erupting from the back of people's throats as everyone exited their last exam, finally free for the summer. Your expression contrasted the elated people pushing past you in a rush to leave, your defeated gaze searching for a certain locker as you planned to talk to Wanda today, to confess everything before telling her you were leaving, having accepted MI 13’s offer in England, needing a change of scenery. It was all too suffocating here, the reminder of her, what happened to your parents, you needed a change, no matter how hard it would be to leave everyone behind.

You eventually made your way to her locker, looking around to see if people would notice as you slipped the post it note through the small slits, asking her to meet you at the carpark behind your work. You lingered at the metal cupboards, a sense of dread filling you at what would inevitably happen later, the idea of heartbreak and tears causing a wave of nausea to take over you, your gaze lifting from the structure to stop your thoughts drifting down that path but accidentally making contact with her enchanting green as they gazed at you from across the hall, time seeming to slow down around you.

The people around you faded away as you felt that familiar tug on your heart, your smile not reaching your ears as you offered her one last fake one, desperately trying your best to keep it together whilst the corner of her lips tugged up at your actions, excitement evident on her face as she was eager to see you tonight.

Wanda had known you had been busy recently wanting to study for your exams, the two of you not meeting up for a while, but she couldn't wait to spend the summer with you, to laugh all night long and be herself with you. Her heart longed to be with you again like that one, tender night, the memory of that kiss haunting her mind in all the right ways, her body aching for you in such an affectionate way again. She wanted to feel loved by you, to be seen and truly appreciated in private before letting reality and the expectations of her drown her again. She needed the escape you offered her.

The brunette took a step forwards, hoping to talk to you but the sight of a familiar blonde stopped her, Vision’s smile soft as he distracted her, the sight of the two of them cracking your heart once more. You kept your face stoic as he brushed back a strand of her hair, her lips stretching into a loving smile as she peered up at him, kissing his lips briefly in an attempt to keep up the appearance with him, to you, the sight an interaction between a couple of lovers. A wave of bitterness washed through you at the fact he could be with her, he could show his love for her in public, your mind swiftly pushing the thoughts away as you knew there was no use in going down that spiral again, simply trying to stop the pain radiating in your chest by turning around, refusing to look anymore. You couldn’t watch her live her life a lie.

Unbeknown to you, when she could, her eyes flickered away from his piercing blue and the blush painting his cheeks, her smile soft as she forced herself to enjoy his company as he wrapped an arm around her waist, talking nonsense to her as her green frantically searched for you. She had to try and hide the way her brows furrowed at your tense posture as you pushed past people to leave, a glimmer of disappointment appearing in her eyes as she had hoped to talk to you and congratulate you on finishing your exams. The expression swiftly faded when he asked her something, her answer pleasing to him as she tried to keep the appearance up, ignoring the ache in her chest at the way you walked away, leaving her feeling alone.

***

Exhaling a final puff of smoke, you savoured the last of your cigarette before dropping it to the floor, using the heel of your boot to crush it into the ground when the sound of those familiar footsteps grew closer, your heart pounding anxiously in your chest, dreading what was about to happen. Your mind was tormented by the anticipation of what was about to occur, images in your head flashing by at the different ways this could end, unsure of what the best scenario would be. Would you want her to shout at you, to scream at you for breaking it off? To have her tell you she hated you so it would make things feel a little easier? Or would you rather her stay quiet and suffer in silence? Letting you watch helplessly as you carved a hole in her heart, unable to comfort her as you were the reason she was hurting. God, you didn’t want to hurt her.

A deflated sigh escaped as you couldn’t decide what reaction would be the best, but you knew deep down a part of you hoped she would do neither and ask you to stay, that she’d confess her feelings to you and learn that she didn’t have to be ashamed of you, that being with you wasn’t abnormal or something that made her a ‘freak’. You only ever wished she could accept herself.

Before your mind could repeat any more thoughts like a broken record, you watched in the corner of your eyes as she approached you, her smile practically reaching her ears making the chain on your heart tug forcefully. She looked so happy, you didn’t want to take that away from her.

“Hey,” she murmured out softly, her tone conveying her excitement as she leaned against your truck, biting her lower lip in that adorable manner as she tried to contain her enthusiasm, the expression dropping at the conflicted expression engraved on your face. “What’s wrong?” Her tone was tender as her mesmerising green peered up at you, every swirl of green containing care as she gauged your reaction to her words, the way pain flashed in your eyes before your mouth opened and closed, hesitating on your words.

At the glimmer of distress in your eyes, Wanda couldn’t help but feel a sense of unease crawl down her spine, a lump forming in her throat at the way you avoided her gaze, fingers pinching the bridge of your nose as you tried to compose yourself, trying to stop the doubts in your mind as you had to do this. You couldn’t let this drag on anymore, you couldn’t.

“Wanda, I…” you trail off, building the courage to say what you felt but struggling to put it into words, a gnawing thought at the back of your mind begging you to tell her nothing was wrong, to carry on pretending.

Her intense green observed you with concern and apprehension at your vulnerable state, her heart rate increasing with every passing second as you tried to find the right words, the excitement and joy swiftly draining from her face as you finally continued, the words slicing straight through her chest.

“I can’t do this anymore,” you manage out, not hiding the pain in your voice as you spoke in such a raw tone, the worry that was brewing within her now flooding through her veins, her body almost flinching away from you at your words, moving to stand opposite you with anguish clear in her expressive gaze.

“What?” She whispered out, refusing to truly comprehend your words as you looked at her, your usually bright and playful eyes staring back at her despondently, acting as though the world around you had lost all its colour.

“I can’t do this anymore, I can’t be a dirty secret, I want to call it off,” your words cut deep and you know they do, your face showing your sorrow for hurting her as she lets out a breathless laugh, trying to stop the tears threatening to spill down her cheeks, her lower lip trembling at the pain radiating in her chest, her heart bleeding anguish into her veins.

Her head turns away from you, desperately trying to keep her emotions in check, the sight of you only further cracking her heart as her eyes glossed over completely, the tears flowing down her cheeks as she couldn’t stop herself, it hurt too much.

“Why?” she croaks out, hesitantly letting her gaze meet yours, an overwhelming feeling of despair drowning her as she looks into your equally broken eyes.

“You know why,” you murmur out, trying to keep your voice soft as you still wanted to comfort her, to soothe her pain. You were desperate to pull her into your arms, to hold her close and let her face seek safety at the crook of your neck, to press your lips to the top of her head and whisper tender words to her but you couldn’t. You were the reason she was crying and it tore you apart. It wasn’t fair, none of this was fair.

“I…” Wanda couldn’t find the words to argue back, to say she didn’t know because she did. She knew that you had changed after you lied to her, she knew that you loved her but she refused to accept it. You couldn’t truly love her, it was wrong. She couldn’t let herself be loved by you, by a woman. She refused to make this real, she was unable to let the bubble the two of you created burst and let reality crash down on her. Why couldn’t you just continue to pretend? She wanted everything to go back to the way it was, she didn’t want this. She didn’t want to lose you, but she couldn’t admit the truth.

“I love you Wanda, I always have,” you whisper, your words laced with honesty and all the emotions you felt towards her, your tone so soft and tender that it causes a stray tear to slip from her eyes at how she wished she could let herself be loved by you, that she wasn’t taught this was shameful all her life. The hope and desire was brutally clawed away as soon as it came, the brunette powerless to the merciless grip her traditional mindset had on her, teachings from her childhood ringing around in her head as she forced herself to stop the feeling.

“No, you can’t, you can’t love me,” she chokes out, struggling to stop the lump in her throat from affecting her voice, desperate to sound composed and not as though anxiety and insecurities gnawed away at her sanity. “It’s wrong,” she sighs out, nausea bubbling inside her at the way your face drops at her words, the way you can tell she’s trying her best to use her denial to shield her pain.

“It’s not wrong,” you sigh out, taking a step closer to her, hands naturally reaching out to hold hers, letting your thumb brush over the back of hers tenderly before she pulls away from you, using her hands to wipe away the tears lingering on her cheeks. “It’s not, I promise you it’s not,” your words only further torment her, the ache in her chest constant as she wants to believe you, she really does but she can't. She won’t. “I know it’s hard to accept that you’re-” You try, but she cuts you off.

“Don’t,” she grits out, tone raising, a sudden harshness lacing her words as you furrow your brows at her, shocked at the disgust corrupting her green. “Don’t say it, don't make me say it, I’m not like that,” she mutters, pain underlying her words as your face grows sympathetic, unsure of how to help her. You just wanted her to stop running away from the feeling, to keep making excuses or giving stupid reasons as to why she couldn’t accept herself. There was nothing to be ashamed of. Why couldn’t she see that?

“Wanda-”

“No,” she doesn’t even let you disagree, leaving no room for argument as you sigh, lowering your gaze to the floor, trying to collect your thoughts. You knew she wasn’t going to admit to herself she was into women, and you weren’t going to force her to accept herself, but you needed to know if she ever loved you back or if this was really just casual. It couldn’t have been, couldit?

“I won’t make you say it,” you murmur out, keeping your gaze locked on hers, losing yourself in her green whilst you build the courage to ask her. You were scared of the answer, none of the possibilities your mind could come up with were good, but you had to know. Your mind would drive you insane if you didn’t. “But Wanda, I need to know, did you ever feel the same?” Your voice wavers as you ask her, a cold fear underlying your words as it spreads throughout your body, anxious thoughts trapping your mind as you were terrified to know how she felt.

Hesitation is evident on her face as she looks at you, clearly conflicted on what to say as you longingly look at her, heart pounding wildly against your chest as you wait for her to speak, the silence deafening as her mouth opens and closes, lost for words.

“Please be honest,” you murmur out in a pleading tone, not hiding the fear that consumed your body, “Did you love me?”

“No,” she croaks out, meeting your gaze before looking away, nausea making her head spin as she utters the word, her trembling hands moving up to her face to stop the sob that wanted to force its way out of her.

The pain that you had felt previously felt like a mere prick to your heart compared to the sheer agony that ripped its way through your body, her words leaving a scar on your heart that you’d forever carry with you. It hurt, fuck, it hurt so much, but not because she said she didn’t love you, no, her words destroyed you because she looked you right in the eyes and lied to your face. You could see it in the green you loved so much, you’d spent enough time with her to know how to read her, to tell when she was telling you the truth and she wasn’t.

A scoff left you at what she managed out, the sound turning into a breathless laugh to stop yourself from breaking down, your hands roughly wiping your cheeks as you avoided her gaze, an onslaught of anger gripping your heart. You wanted to scream at her with everything you could, to confront her and call her out but you didn’t have it in you. You wanted to hate her, to resent her and tell her here how you never wanted to see her again, but the words refused to leave your mouth. Despite everything, you didn’t want her to hate you. You didn’t want to lash out at her and make her think of you like that. You weren’t like that.

Pinching the bridge of your nose and sighing deeply, you tried your best to compose yourself before saying anything, your gaze catching a glimpse of her distraught green and only reminding you of the pain that slashed through you moments ago, your eyes squeezing shut in hopes that the pain would simply vanish and let you collect your thoughts.

“Good luck, Wanda,” you manage out of a few more deep breaths, your tone attempting to be soft but still containing a hint of sarcasm and irritation as you look at her, gaze softening as you take in her watery green.

Wanda’s brows furrowed at your words, at the tenderness she could sense in your voice, her mind lost to a sea of confusion. Why weren’t you shouting at her? Why didn’t you hate her? You should hate her. Her mind begged you to stop being kind to her now, your always caring self emerging when it shouldn’t. She didn’t want you to be loving and caring now, she needed you to hate her to make things easier, she needed you to stop.

“I hope he makes you happy, I really do,” you continue, each word pushing the knife further and further into her heart as well as yours, the fact that there was a hint of truth in your words twisting the blade as you partly meant them. You only ever wanted her to be happy, even if it meant she was with someone else.

“Y/n…” She tries but nothing follows the whisper of your name, your trembling lips pulling up into a soft smile as best you could.

“Don’t,” you murmur softly, stopping her from trying to prevent you from saying what you needed to. “I just hope you know you can’t run away from…this forever,” you whisper, stepping closer to her as you build up the courage to say goodbye to her, your hand hesitantly moving to cup her cheek, the brunette naturally leaning into your touch, trying to savour the little comfort it offered.

When your eyes met, a whirlwind of emotions crashed through you both as you got lost in each other's eyes, trying to prolong the impending farewell as you didn’t want to lose one another. You tried to memorise each swirl of green that you fell for, her eyes searching yours to let the comfort you provided engrave itself in her mind, knowing she’d need an escape from reality.

Tentatively, you leaned forward and pressed a delicate kiss to her forehead, a kiss goodbye as you lingered there, a shaky breath falling from your lips before you whisper one last thing to her.

“I’m sorry for loving you,” you apologise softly, never having wanted to hurt her with your feelings, your words the tipping point for her as the sob finally leaves her lips, her hands reaching out for your body subconsciously, needing your comfort but stopping as you pull away from her, her body paralyzed by the heartbreak consuming her. “Goodbye Wanda,” your voice is barely above a whisper as the words escape you, your eyes refusing to look at her, not needing a painful memory to haunt your mind as you step away from her body.

Wanda could only watch through her blurred vision as you walked away from her, the ache in her chest increasing with every step you took, amplifying the loneliness she felt as you left her alone to pick up the pieces of her broken heart.

#wanda maximoff #marvel fanfiction #wanda x reader #eventual smut #wanda fanfic #wanda maximoff x female reader #wanda x you #wanda maximoff fanfiction #hearbreak #breakup #angst #heavy angst #good luck babe #hurt/comfort #wlw yearning #wlw #internalized homophobia #chappell roan

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mwahmimi · 19 days

Text

Telling secrets, there on the mattress. 💋

Taking another sip of the Merlot that Emily had kindly poured out for you into your lipstick-stained glass, you felt dizzy. You were somewhat seeing double in your inebriated state, but you didn’t mind, what’s better than one Prentiss? A second, obviously.

Tenderly she leans forward, you gaze into her eyes, each coffee coloured iris just sparkling under the big central light. Her lips pin up into a smirk, exposing her dimples on either side. Intoxicated and confident, you match her movement but let Emily lead the way. She was always the one in control, every time you met up, she took care of you.

It’s a dance the two of you have done for years, she takes to dinner, douses your stomach with too much red wine and pasta, shyly holds your hand down the street as she brings you home. It’s always the same excuse; “come and see how much Sergio has grown!”

In all fairness, you do get to cuddle with Sergio every time. But he lays between the pair of you, both of you, exhausted and nude, with the light from the cheap nylon curtains peeking through and gracing your bodies in sunlight.

This evening was no different, her crimson nails trailing up your wrists leaving your arms decorated with goosebumps under her fingers.

“You look so gorgeous tonight.” Emily all but purrs her compliment into your ears, her breath tickling over your neck causing you to shiver. She always knew how to get to you, her touch made your body ignite, no matter how little or gentle it was.

Her hands find your thighs, squeezing softly and skittering her nails in between them, feeling the pudgy flesh under her fingers and your conscious collapsing underneath her. Her smirk only grew wider with the knowledge you were hers, putty in her hands once again. With her lips marking your neck, biting heart shaped bruises into your porcelain complexion, you shuffle closer. Tearing her lips from your throat, crashing your lips into hers.

She tastes like the wine you shared and your fondest memories, no matter how much you try to deny her, you can’t deny the hold she has over. Pushing the thoughts of what your mother would think of you right now, your tongue makes its way into her mouth. Oh you could never resist her, and with her kiss she calls for you like a siren song. Every single brush of her tongue more sensual than the last.

“You missed me?” Emily teases, letting her knee push against your heat when she notices you squirming. Holding you closer and undressing you like you were the best present on Christmas morning. Watching her pupils widen as she glances over your now-bare breasts, she shakes her head and chuckles, leaning down to suckle over your rosebud nipples.

Unable to escape the pleasure, you rut yourself against her knee like a bitch in heat for as long as you’re allowed before Prentiss pushes your back to the mattress. Pinning you down with her hips as she plants gentle, wet kisses over your belly. Taking her time to tease around your belly button, twiddling with the piercing that resides there as you gasp and groan. With each kiss she travels further and further south, before her mouth meets your underwear-clad cunt.

Peeling away your already soaked thong, she brushes her finger over your clit, her touch featherlight and teasing. Noticing the way your head falls back in ecstasy as she taunts you with what you were both wanting.

“Tell me you want me.” She husked, twirling her fingers either side of your heart, just touching so close to where you wanted her most. The sensations were maddening, your core clenches around nothing as if it was asking for her fingers itself. You mewl out a few sweet nothings about how you’ve waited for this since the last time, how you can only get yourself off if you think about her standing at the end of your bed. With her hair tied up and her makeup a little messy, her strap-on tied tightly around her hips as she orders you to suck her dick. How the only thing that can make you cum alone anymore is the thought of looking up at her through your lashes and reminiscing of the feeling of her hand scratching your scalp as she praises you.

“Then you can have me, all of me.” The taller girl cooed before her fingers find your pussy once more. She traces circles over it softly, knowing how much you enjoy the build up and how much it drives you crazy when you get needy and beg for more. Your hips jerk up, searching for more of her, needing all that she could give you. She complies, making herself comfortable between your thighs before she tilts her face forward and passionately begins making out with your pussy. Each gentle stroke of her tongue flickering over your bead makes you beg. Thighs wrap round her head like a spider caught in a web, but Emily is not the prey and you are not a spider. For as long as you’ll let her, she’ll eat you out until you cry for mercy. You belong to her.

Emily flattens her tongue and licks stripes up to your clit, swirling her tongue around it with every stripe, completely unfazed by the bucking of your hips up into her face. They crash and collide like waves in the ocean and you were desperately to ride that high, your orgasm approaching quicker and quicker. When it hits it’s a tsunami, the mental memories flash before your eyes when the fireworks go off inside your belly, rutting your hips into her lips begging for more whilst your hands tug at her hair and caresses the back of her hair as gentle as you could be.

“P-Please.. Em please.. Again… Need to so bad.” You choked on your own words, sobbing in pleasure as you clench your thighs around her. Her hands make their way to your waist, pushing her thumbs into the depths of your hipbones, forcibly restraining you with her strength. Looking up at you through her eyelashes and nodding her head, you let go.

Coming undone on her tongue like it’s what you were born to do. You groan and writhe on her bed, soaking into her sheets you feel paralysed in pleasure. And she just won’t. Let. Up. She knew your maximum was two, you were never able to reach a third peak, by the end of your second orgasm, especially with Emily, you were exhausted.

Prentiss sucks on your clit through your orgasm, pushing your limits to see if she could get another one out of you. Over sensitive and now over tired you lay back, defeated. Letting her toy with you, using you as her very own sex you, you feel it. That familiar, wobbly feeling deep inside. You shriek, “N-No more, it’s too much.” Your demands fall on her deaf ears, lapping over your heat and suckling on your clit harshly.

Lightening strikes inside you again as you orgasm a third time. Convulsing, arching your back high off of the mattress you practically scream out for her. “Oh fuck Em! Yes! Right there!” With each word your pitch gets higher and squeakier, your thighs go limp underneath you and shaking through the after-shocks. You look down at the wet patch you’ve made on Em’s bed sheets, peeking through your squinted eyes, you examine her. Her lips now plump and swollen but still oh-so kissable, pussy drunk on the mix of her own saliva and your juices. Pulling her in for a gentle, you taste yourself on her breath.

Still blissed out, you fall back onto the mattress beside her. Her arm sneaking around your shoulder, pulling you close to her chest and letting your face rest on her breasts. Giggling softly with your noses rubbing against each others, all because you called her breasts your pillows. Taking turns being the little spoon to each other because how can you not want to hold her after she’s given you everything. Emily flutters her eyelashes against your cheek, butterfly kisses under the moon light with her would bring world peace, you thought silently.

You slip your hand into hers once more, interlocking your fingers and turning off the light. You sleep in her arms, her musky scent filling your nostrils and you just wish you could bottle it to keep forever. When you wake up, she’s gone.

A post-stick note on the bedside table reads, “Called into work early, I’ll be home around 6. Make yourself at home.” With a badly drawn love heart underneath the emergency contact number, you smile. This time, you’re not her’s for one night.

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star-wrote · 3 months

Text

Vibe

ao3 link

Characters: Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader | Pre-Saviors Alexandria Era

Summary: Daryl Dixon went on a run to scavenge for supplies, but came back with vibrators instead.

Warnings: typical TWD violence, threats, guns, vibrators, smut, oral(fem!receiving), slightly comedic, idiots in love, fluffy

Word Count: 1450

18+

Daryl was sat against the car, smoking a cigarette. It had been almost three days of scavenging for supplies and food for Alexandria when he and Rick wandered upon an old warehouse.

The warehouse was surprisingly clear of walkers. They had scouted the front of the building and saw stacks of full boxes through the dark windows. It was like finding an oasis after two and a half days of finding nothing but empty cans. Deciding that luck was on their side, they crept in through the front door.

What they weren’t expecting to see on the other side of that warehouse door was a camp of men. Roughly 15 men shot up from where they were sleeping and brought their guns up to aim at Rick and Daryl.

“Think you can just creep in here while we’re sleeping? You trying to take what’s ours?” One of the men yelled as he stepped forward. The leader, Daryl assumed.

Rick raised his hands up by his head. “We didn’t know this place was occupied. We can leave.”

The man scoffed. “Why, so you can bring back more people to wipe us out? How do you think we have all of this stuff? It’s because we protect it. So we’re gonna kill you, take your stuff, and then burn your bodies.”

Daryl feels a man press a gun into his side. “Rick.”

“Yeah, I know.” Rick sighs, exasperated. “Go.”

Daryl twists the gun out of the man’s hands and knocks him out with it. He tosses the gun to Rick who starts going on a lecture about how the men should’ve just listened to them.

Gunfire from both Rick and the men causes Daryl to grab the biggest box that he could carry by himself, and run outside to where their car was haphazardly parked. He tossed the box into the back as Rick ran out of the building and jumped into the driver’s seat.

As Rick peeled out onto the road back to Alexandria, Daryl leaned over his seat to open the box.

“Hope we got somethin’ that was worth all of that.” Daryl said as he pulled the last flap of the box open.

Rick watched in the rearview mirror as Daryl’s face dropped. “What is it?”

Daryl picked up one of the pink toys and tossed it at Rick.

“S’a bunch of fuckin’ vibrators.”

When Daryl got home, Alexandria was thankfully quiet. He didn’t want to have to deal with people asking what they brought back from the run. Maybe he would sleep in tomorrow and let Rick deal with it in the morning.

However, it was you who was at the gate. You who he knows won’t stop asking until you get an answer.

After Rick parked the car and you closed the gate, you ran up to hug Daryl.

“I missed you so much, three days was too long.” You said as you kissed him.

He smiled, glad to feel some of the guilt for not finding anything on the run roll off his shoulders.

You watched Rick grab a lone box out of the back of the car. “Oh, what did you guys find?”

Daryl grunted and took the box from Rick. “What do I even do with these, man?”

Rick chuckled and opened the box. “I’m gonna take one for Michonne, I guess. Just give the rest to Olivia for her to take inventory like usual.” He grabbed one of the toys from the box.

Your eyes widened as you saw what the haul from their trip was. You waited until Rick walked away before whispering at Daryl excitedly. “You guys got vibrators for the town?”

“Was an accident. Ran into some guys in a warehouse. Took one of the boxes as they were shootin’ at us. ‘Course it was filled with damn vibrators.”

You let out a giggle at his grumpiness. “I think this is the best haul you’ve ever brought home, I don’t know why you’re so upset!” You grabbed one from the box and started walking with him to the pantry.

“Comes with batteries. We could take all of those and use ‘em.” Daryl said.

You frown. “Or we could bring pleasure to all of the women of Alexandria.”

Daryl stops walking and looks at you. “Thought I gave you enough pleasure. You were even sayin’ it was too much that night before I left.”

You blush as you think back to the night that Daryl overstimulated you before he left on his run. “Yeah you do. But not everyone has a Daryl Dixon. Plus we could try it together. Might be fun?”

He shrugs his shoulders. “Fine. We’re okay on batteries right now anyway.” He says as he continues walking to the pantry.

You grin to yourself as you clutch your new toy to your chest. “Yay! We don’t even have to refill the batteries. We can just use it until they die and then throw it away.”

“Oh my- Daryl.”

The walk to the house from the pantry had Daryl thinking about getting you home and getting you off. You had barely closed the door when he started stripping your clothes off.

You giggled as he kissed your neck. “I thought we’d at least sleep after your run before jumping in!”

“Nah, need to make you feel good.” He grunted and picked you up over his shoulder.

You squealed and held on tight to your vibrator as he started walking to your shared bedroom. The packaging was torn open in a hurry while you were still upside down on Daryl’s shoulder. You dropped the box as you yanked the toy out.

Daryl smacked your ass to signal that he was going to toss you onto the bed. You land on the fluffy blankets and pillows and laugh as Daryl finishes taking your clothes off. “You’re so eager, I thought you weren’t sure about bringing toys into the bedroom.”

He smirks down at you. You were still holding onto the bright pink vibrator with a look of excitement in your eyes. “You said ya wanted to try. So we’re trying.”

He grabs the toy from your hand and presses the button to turn it on. Your eyes light up as it immediately starts buzzing in your lover’s hand.

“How do ya want me to do this, baby?” He whispers as he trails the fluttering toy up your thigh.

You close your eyes and sigh into the feeling. “I don’t care, just need it somehow, Daryl.”

“Ya want me to eat ya out? Put this thing on yer clit?”

You nod your head at the thought. You also notice his accent getting thicker as he gets more aroused; a trait that you’ve come to admire about him.

“Okay, ‘ve got ya, honey.”

Daryl lays down on his stomach between your thighs and brings your legs up to rest on his shoulders. He licks a long stripe from your hole to your clit, making you gasp at the contact. Gently, he presses the toy onto your puffy clit. He looks up at you, assessing the situation. He smirks when he sees your head thrown back and your fingers clutching the blanket underneath you.

“That feel good, baby?”

“Would feel even better if you used your m-mouth.” You gasped out.

Daryl kissed your inner thigh. “Say please.”

You pouted at him. “Please, Dar?”

Daryl kissed just to the side of your hole, muttered something about you being a “princess” and dove in.

You moaned and tossed around in the bed. To an outside perspective, it would look like some type of weird exorcism. But it was just Daryl making you feel so good. Daryl and that “damn vibrator.”

His tongue continued to lap up the wetness that you were producing for him. Because it was always for him. He moaned into your soaked hole and tongue-fucked you into oblivion.

The continuous buzz of the vibrator kept lifting you up and up until you were finally at your peak. Daryl was mumbling praises that could barely reach your ears as you shook underneath him. Your thighs tightened around his head, but he didn’t stop until your body relaxed under his tongue and your moans turned into small whines.

Your breathing was labored and there was a ringing in your ears that sounded like the song of heaven as you lay there, recovering from the insanely intense orgasm that Daryl had just given you.

Daryl. You pulled yourself up onto your elbows and looked down at your man. He was licking the vibrator.

You both locked eyes as he pulled it away from his mouth. Smiling at each other, you said in unison;

“We’re keeping it.”

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lenybunny · 5 months

Text

— ✿RULES & MASTERLIST✿ —

✿RULES:

—things i write:

mostly smut, some occasional fluff, angst, etc…

mostly oneshots, but i’ll do multiple parts of things if requested!

i only write fem!celeb x fem!reader (i write poly situations as long as reader is involved)

non-celeb AU

—things i don’t write:

anything smutty involving minors

noncon, yandere, ageplay, anything with animals, any other things of that sort

g!p

stories with JUST celeb x celeb

male readers or male celebs

butt stuff

fetishes (NONE, absolutely NONE)

—general:

i can’t do every single request i receive, but if your req helps me write anything, i will mention it in the a/n

if you are putting prompts along with a req, please don’t put too many

don’t hesitate to tell me if you think anything is wrong with a story or tags!

please let me know about grammatical/spelling mistakes in the fics so i can fix them. i try my best to catch them all, but sometimes i just don’t notice

✿PROMPTS:

—all of these were originally written for my kpop blog, please disregard the ones that mentions idols/maknae/etc

bratty/degrading/etc smut

first time/inexperienced smut

praise/soft/etc smut

misc smut

threesome smut

kinks

angst/fluff

✿MASTERLIST:

renee rapp

chappell roan

margot robbie

sabrina carpenter

taylor swift

anne hathaway

dakota johnson

sydney sweeney

✿COMING SOON:

regina x reader - “eclipse” (smut)

fics on my alts (@airaibunny + @tcubunny)

✿MY ANONS

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satoruyes · 30 days

Text

Casual

smut, angst | satoru gojo x gn!reader | your casual hookup gets jelly

The loud continuous thud of his headboard hitting the wall was barely heard over the lewd sounds of sex. His hands wrap around you like a tailored garment. One comfortably on your neck and the other entangled in your hands. His pace falters as he bends down to kiss you, a sloppy one. His eyes are filled with lust and his cheeks are flushed red. He takes one of his hands and move a stubborn single strand of hair from your sweat accoutered forehead.

"Your eyes are so fuckin' pretty. You look so mm, so fuckin' good like this babe - so good all marked up by me," he grunts out; you moan in response. You want to say something but all you can do is roll your eyes back as his merciless thrusts reach that spot again and again. His thrusts get more careless and less rhythmic; that's how you know he's close.

★

You and Satoru met at a house party. He and Geto sat on a couch, stained with who knows what while Geto complained for the unkempt time about Gojo dragging him there. Satoru took a sip from his cup and continued to ignore his best friend. His focus was too centered on you. His beverage wasn't the only thing he was drinking in.

He analyzed how the cheap LEDs on the walls accentuated your features in the best ways, and the way you carelessly danced around with your friends. He took another few sips from his drink before he decided to approach you, and the rest is history.

From that day forward you became a quick and easy hookup. Only getting a call when he needed an accessible cumdump. He intended to keep it that way, casual with no strings attached - but he couldn't help how his vision blurred green the times he saw you being a bit too friendly with someone.

His sex started to get less animalistic and more passionate. He held you tight like you'd slip away if he let go and you didn't miss how he littered your body with hickies and bites.

★

You and Gojo were both invited to go barhopping, to which you both agreed. You acknowledged each other but nothing romantic. Once you had a few drinks you decided to float around, producing a bit of an audience. A guy approached you offering to buy a drink. You had a few drinks and even danced with each other, with an envious eye watching.

"This is my favorite song!" you exclaimed; the guy you were with took it as incitive to drag you back to the dance floor. His hands guarded your waist, and you started to grind against him. You were barely 20 seconds into the song when you felt a force snatching you from his body. Your eyes snap open and they meet a furious Satoru Gojo. The whole room freezes for a bit and stare, yet the only eyes you can feel is his. "Follow me. Now," he spat out bitterly.

You'd followed him out of the bar, your wrist in his hand, and maybe that's how you ended up in this situation now.

Pinned to his mattress as the beds' headboard loudly collided with his wall.

#this was inspired by #the weeknd #and #chappell roan #and my late night feels #or nah #casual #friend with benefits #lulawrites #gojo x reader #satoru gojo x reader #geto cameo #gojo smut #angst ?

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delusionsofgrandeur13 · 5 months

Text

CASUAL

tim drake x reader

prologue

not nsfw yet but will be!

series inspired by Casual by Chappell Roan

readers can expect: fem reader x tim drake. party/alcohol mentions, reader drinks, isn’t really affected. creepy drunk guy/unwanted flirting. sexual innuendos.

●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●

you’d seen him before, of course. on the cover of trashy tabloids in supermarket lines, ordering coffee at the college cafe. but this was the first time you’d seen him at a party.

you pull down the hem of your dress, red and so tight breathing was out of the question. you lick your thumb and, bending down, try to rub out the scuff on the toe of your right doc marten. you take as big of a breath as the dress allowed and put the most confident smile you could onto your face. you weren’t used to going to these kinds of frat parties, where the member’s lives were funded solely by old family money. the frat house had been paid for by lucius fox for his son to have somewhere ‘suitable’ to live. it was bruce fucking wayne’s former frat. you can’t imagine you’ll even talk to anyone the whole night. why would you? those kinds of boys were never your type, ever. but they were lydia’s. she’d been invited by her guy of the month, and in turn, invited you as emotional support. the laws of friendship demanded your attendance.

“you ready?”

you nod as lydia links her arm through yours, and pulls you up the pathway to the door of the frat house. you can hear the bass pounding through the windows, the house dark yet full of sound. a boy leans up against the dark wood, his arms crossed lazily. he lifts his head up, looking you both up and down, lydia in purple, you in red. something about him made you want to run home, yelling excuses for why you’d used a coupon at the store the other day and why your dress was secondhand. he sniffed, nodding, and moved aside to open the door for you both. the music washed over you in a wave, a little disorienting.

as soon as you crossed the threshold, lydia squeezed your arm and darted up the stairs, where her guy was waiting. you look around, trying to not fold in on yourself. the keg was in the corner, with some guys looking rather eager for anyone to volunteer to keg stand. you veer in the other direction. groups of people every so often burst into laughter, and you shiver. old money laughter was chilling. couples were scattered throughout the house, grinding on the stairs, sitting on each others laps on the couch.

you hadn’t been in a relationship for two and a half years, and every person since then had just been sort of a rebound..and then another rebound, and another, and another. you didn’t miss your ex, you just were no longer sold on the lovey dovey, ooey gooey, valentine’s day, til death do us part type of love.

the island in the kitchen was topped with marble, and you blinked, harshly reminded again of where you were. you grab a red solo cup, laughing internally at the fact that no matter who was throwing the party, those cups were present. you mixed yourself a rum and coke, more coke than rum. a frat house was a frat house.

your neck prickles, and you turn with your drink, leaning up against the island. the vibes of this place were giving you all kinds of heebie jeebies. a blonde girl in a pristine white tennis skirt flounced past, giving you a smile that didn’t reach her eyes. you return it, your expression turning into a grimace as you catch a glimpse of the guy making his way towards you. his light brown hair was cut way too short for his face shape, and nose was crooked like it’d been broken multiple times, then reset, then broken again and left like that. his green eyes were watery, red and bloodshot. he looked at you, hungry, and you felt like you were in a lion’s den, your flesh about to be stripped clean of your bones. his left hand was preoccupied with holding an entire bottle of vodka, which, with a glance at the label, said it was bubblegum flavored. your mouth twisted, thinking of the way that would taste coming back up.

he put his free hand on the counter next to you, cornering you. he leaned down, his breath telling you exactly what bubblegum flavored vodka tasted like.

“i haven’t seen you before. why?”

the rum and coke mixture in your mouth soured at the thought of this guy getting any closer to you.

“it doesn’t matter because you won’t be seeing me again.” you try to sidestep him, but he moves closer, setting his vodka on the island.

his arms were bracketing you in now, and your heart rate picked up speed. you silently begged lydia to come down the stairs and save you, but it was hopeless. the look in his eyes made you curse yourself for coming, for being anywhere that he was. he opened his mouth to say something else, but froze, looking at something over your shoulder.

“eric.” the voice came from behind you. it was masculine, and it sounded friendly enough, but you and eric both seemed to understand the underlying warning. he grabbed his vodka, leaning away, but still a step too close.

“tim.” eric nodded to whoever was behind you, his demeanor suddenly almost..respectful.

he then gulped, which you would’ve laughed at if he wasn’t still so close to you. your neck prickled again. he mumbled as he walked away, grumbling into the mouth of his bottle about frat presidents and how unfair it all was. he shot another glance back towards the kitchen before turning the corner, his lip curling.

you didn’t turn, instead taking another swig from your plastic cup. it crinkled in your hand as you relaxed your grip on it. someone was tapping out a rhythm on the marble. it sounded impatient, and you internally rolled your eyes before turning around. tim drake wayne was standing behind you, leaning his forearms on the countertop. his thick dark hair was coiffed in a way that probably took him hours but was meant to look like it just air dried that way. his jeans were tailored, but sat low on his hips. the dark fabric of his sweater looked like it would cost a month’s rent, and you had to resist the urge to reach out and feel it between your fingertips.

he stopped drumming his fingers, and your face grew hot, realizing you’d basically just been checking him out. he returned the favor, looking you up and down with half-lidded eyes and a cheshire cat smile. if eric was a lion, tim was a black panther. he’d probably play with you like a yarn ball, batting at you until you unraveled. being in his presence felt dangerous. you felt the burning gaze of a few others in the room who would probably cut off their pinky finger to be in your position. you shifted your weight off of the counter, standing up to walk away. you got two steps, stopping when tim called out after you.

“no.” he said. you spin, taking in the look on his face, his eyebrows pinched like a petulant child. you felt your own eyebrows raising as your entitled-rich-boy tank reached capacity.

“..no? what do you mean, no?” you replied, incredulous.

“don’t leave.”

“right. bye!” you turn to go find lydia, stopping in your tracks when tim suddenly slides in front of you. you suck in a breath, surprised at how fast he can move.

“maybe i wanted to talk to you.”

“what if i don’t want to listen?” you retort. his dark blue eyes flash, and the cheshire cat smile stretches across his face again.

“then don’t. give me your wrist.” he raises an eyebrow like a challenge, holding his hand out.

you comply, not really understanding why, and he’s pulling a pen out of his jeans, uncapping it. his grip on your wrist is firm but not painful, his hand warm and surprisingly calloused. the pen bites into the skin attaching the seam of your wrist and hand.

“there.” he finishes writing, pocketing the pen. “a new accessory to match that dress.”

the digits of his phone number wrap your wrist like a bracelet, and your heart stutters a little, your cheeks pinking.

“thank you?” you say, your words coming out as more of a question than you realize.

he winks, dragging his eyes up the length of your body again.

“maybe next time i’ll give you a pearl necklace.”

you blink and he’s gone, his lean back disappearing behind a corner. your heartbeat thumps in time to the music. you never thought you’d be in the presence of a wayne, let alone get one of their phone numbers. you stare at your wrist, memorizing the numbers like there’ll be a test on them later. lydia appears, her makeup smudged and her hair undone. she grabs your arm, shaking it a little.

“hey, all good to go? what’s that on your wrist?”

you shake your head, dropping it down by your side.

“nothing.” you smile at her, linking your arm through hers. “how was it?”

#casual by chappell roan #tim drake x reader #tim drake imagine #tim drake smut #tim drake wayne #tim drake #red robin #robin tim drake #the batboys x you #tim drake x you #red robin x reader #red robin smut #smut #tim drake x fem!reader #dc comics smut #—☆#—ness writes

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hsangel64 · 2 months

Text

bandmates pt. 9!

synopsis: coastal has there gig and the plan is in play

warnings: cussing, angst, smut

song for the chapter:

a/n: i hope everyone is enjoying this series ive been loving writing it! don't worry it's not over after this! comment to be a part of the taglist! i also made some changes in the song don't get mad!

"hey bee can we please talk?" your expression dropped, and you rolled your eyes.

"what could you possibly want to talk to me about?"

"can we just please.." ellie said defeated, you missed her so you agreed. you got up and you both went to your room you sat on your bed and ellie stood. it was silent for about a minute until she spoke up.

"i am really sorry i promise i actually am."

"for what?"

"well for-" you scoffed and raised your voice slightly.

"for calling me your friend but behind closed doors you were eating me out like there was no tomorrow? getting that girls number in front of me? cuddling with cat after not talking to me even asking if i was okay?"

"look it's not like that-" you stood up with a quickness.

"what do you mean it's not like that? every time i would ask why we haven't gone on a date you would brush it off and say you're busy but i knew damn well what you were doing all day. what is it like please fucking enlighten me ellie." you started raising your voice even more, ellie walked towards you and put her hands on the sides of your face. you pushed her away and stumbled back.

"no don't fucking touch me.'

"baby please." you shook your head as she came back towards you, she put her hands on your face again and hugged you. you had tears falling down your face, she felt so warm against you and you couldn't resist. you fell into her arms and she whispered 'i'm sorry' and 'its okay' into your ear.

"i just want you to call me baby to everyone, i want to be known as yours is that so hard ellie?" you looked up at her and felt her breathe on your lips. your stomach tensed up feeling her so close to you.

"it's not and i want the same i really do baby." she was crying at this point.

"then why don't you.." she didn't answer for a second until she asked.

"can i please kiss you." you didn't want to say yes but you nodded. she grabbed your face and kissed you, you melted into her lips and kissed her right back. she gently pushed you into your bed and you fell back crawling up the bed. you both felt desperate grabbing at each other. it didn't take long for you both to take each other's clothes off.

ellie moved so she could make her way on top of you, she kissed down your neck and moved her hand onto your mouth to silence your moans.

"don't want dina and jesse to hear." she mumbled as she was making her way down your stomach, kissing every inch of it. every kiss sent shivers down your spine. she made her way to your panty line and kissed it gently.

"can i take these off?" she whispered only for you to hear.

"yes please do." your voice was shaky, and you gasped as she grabbed the top of your panties with her teeth and slowly pulled them down. you gasped at her actions, she was going really slow almost too slow for your liking. she pulled them all the way off and lightly blew on your pussy. you moaned just from that, you were so desperate to have her tongue on you.

"please please ellie."

"what do you want baby tell me." she was lightly grazing her fingers across your stomach as she talked.

"i want your tongue on me."

"that's not how you ask."

"please els fuck."

"as you wish." she immediately started running her tongue along your clit. it felt so good, but you knew how wrong it was. you couldn't stop her even if you tried.

----

it was the day before the gig, and you had been thinking about that night. the morning after you woke up in and empty bed, you went and checked your phone to see a text message from ellie stating "im sorry." you sighed and flopped back into bed. 'what the fuck is my life' you thought.

after that night till now ellie hasn't talked to you not even a single text after that. you guys had gone to class together, practice and even the dorm, and she didn't even poke a glance at you. you felt like shit all week, this was bringing you down way too much.

currently you and dina were hanging out figuring out what to wear for the gig.

"d i don't know what to wear." you groaned as you looked through your packed closet.

"wear something that screams revenge."

"okay but i don't have anything for that...plus all my good outfits i have worn already this week and i really don't have time for laundry."

"well i think this calls for a mall trip..."

"i like the way you think." you both giggled and grabbed your bags and headed out to your car and to the mall.

it felt like one of the coming-of-age movies where they goof around and try on clothes together. you guys had bags on bags on your hands and had gone to every store imaginable.

"d i think we should get some food to treat ourselves to for this long shopping day." she nodded at you and you both walked to the food court.

"so are you nervous?" you looked at her confused.

"for what?" she giggled as you answered with food in your mouth.

"for tomorrow night..."

"OOHHH, i mean a little but i feel pretty confident."

"how do you think ellie will react?"

"i really don't care what she thinks she's treated me like shit."

"i mean valid but do you really not care?" you stopped eating for a second and really thought about it. of course you cared, but she has treated you like shit and you wanted this to hurt her. on the other hand you felt like shit for doing this to her, what if she hates you after this, even worse hates dina and jesse for doing this.

"no of course not." you shook your head.

"y/n i know how you feel about this, it's okay to talk to me, but if you really don't want to that's okay." she grabbed your hand, and you smiled up at her. you nodded your head and you two got back to eating.

----

it was the day of the gig, and you were nervous beyond belief. your hands were sweaty, you've had to reapply your makeup multiple times because of how shaky your hands were. dina has come into your room multiple times to check on you and talk you down. ellie wasn't in the dorm all day it made you nervous thinking she would just dip and not tell anyone. she had turned her location off so you couldn't check, until you saw her walk into the room with cat of all people. what the fuck. you groaned loud enough for them both to hear and got up. as you were walking out you heard cat mumble.

"what the fuck is up with her?" you stopped in your tracks just outside of the door and restrained yourself from attacking her. you walked over to jesse and dina's room to get out of that hell scape.

"fucking cat is here are you kidding me?" you groaned as you closed the door.

"what?!" both said at the same time.

"yeah why the fuck is ellie still hanging out with her?"

"literally no clue."

"do you want me to beat her up yet?" jesse said as you rolled your eyes and ran your hands down your face, already feeling a headache coming on. you felt even more inclined to do this, you felt the anger bowling in your body, and you felt ready to get on stage.

"hey you guys are on in 10." the stage manager came to tell us; you stood up from the couch and reached out to grab their hands.

"i love you guys a lot."

"we love you too." you all hugged and did your small band ritual together. you went back to your dressing room to let ellie know you guys had to be on soon, you walked in and saw her and cat laughing and cuddling together. with a very blank face you let her know you guys had about 5 mins left. you grabbed your guitar and walked out staring at ellie, she had such a pathetic look on her face, and you didn't even care in the slightest. you walked over to dina and jesse by the stage and peeked out, you saw how many people were there and you gasped.

"holy shit it's full."

"hell yeah it is." jesse laughed and jumped up like and excited child. you were trying to stop your nerves from getting the best of you. as you did some more vocal warmups with dina, ellie came up from behind us.

"hey you guys ready?" you all just nodded as you were being called to come on. you guys walked out and faced the crowd, it was huge so many people came. you scanned the crowd and even found some people you knew. this is what you guys practiced hours for, this moment right here. it felt good, as they all cheered for us you looked at jesse and nodded for him to start our first song.

----

"thank you so much everyone! the energy tonight has been amazing and we couldn't have asked for a better crowd." the crowd cheered.

"unfortunately, we are reaching the end of the show this is a new song we have and hope you guys enjoy! we will be out by the front if anyone wants pictures, we love you guys so much! enjoy, good luck babe."

jesse started with the soft melody on the drums and you and dina looked at each other and started to play. you saw ellie's face drop and you smirked at her.

"its fine, its cool

you can say that we are nothing, but you know the truth

and guess i'm the fool

with her arms out like an angel through the car sunroof." you sang and looked at ellie the whole time.

"i don't want to call it off

but you don't want to call it love

you only wanna be the one that i call "baby" as the song progressed the crowd went wild. your plan was working, ellie looked pissed, she didn't know what to do.

"you can kiss a hundred girls in bars

shoot another shot, try to stop the feeling

you can say it's just the way you are

make a new excuse, another stupid reason

good luck babe, well good luck babe

you'd have to stop the world just to stop the feeling." she was looking at you with a disappointed face, clenching her jaw and trying to look like she knew what to play. you smiled at her and continued on.

"i'm cliche, who cares?

it's a sexually explicit kind of love affair

and i cry, it's not fair

i just need a little lovin' i just need a little air" you sang the chorus again and you started to feel all the emotions again, you saw how pissed ellie looked and you felt part of your world shatter. what if she doesn't want to be friends anymore. what if she hates you forever. you started to feel that lump in your throat, but you threw it back down, you couldn't cry now. as the bridge built up you started to feel angry.

"when you wake up next to her in the middle of the night

with your head in your hands, you're nothing more than her wife

and when you think about me, all of those years ago

you're standing face to face with 'i told you so'

you i hate to say, i told you so

you know i hate to say but, i told you so." you belted out that note and felt so many mixed emotions. you finished off the song with the most power you have ever used during a performance, you almost blacked out. as the song ended the crowd went wild and you guys thanked them and ran off stage. you felt like you were going to faint, you walked over to a small chair by the stage and sat down trying to catch your breath.

"what the fuck was that about?!" ellie came running towards you and shouted.

"you fucking embarrassed me."

"no you embarrassed yourself ellie." you stood up from your chair.

"what the fuck is your problem?" she was face to face with you, you could feel her breath and the heat that radiated from her body.

"what do you mean ellie?! you come back to me wanting to work things out, you fuck me and then leave me before morning hits and all you can say is 'i'm sorry' what do you think my problem is?!"

"you're unbelievable." she scoffed and rubbed her hands down her face.

"i'm unbelievable?" you scoffed back at her.

"yes making a fucking song about private issues and not letting me know? i looked like a fool out there."

"that's how you've made me feel ellie, like a damn fool. waiting for you to call me to go out or to make it official, the nights we have had together doing unexplainable things to each other just for you to flirt with other girls and especially bring cat of all people around me."

"don't bring cat into this!"

"oh i will, because do you know how that feels? how it feels to be with you the night before and for you to bring cat around the next day to cuddle and kiss when your lips were on mine just before?! i have been so in love with you for so long ellie, our whole lives. i've cried more than i have ever in the past couple of months and it's all because of you ellie. so good luck with everything i am so done with you, i quit whatever we had." you started to walk away before you turned back.

"oh and you can find another singer for the band, i'm done. i don't ever want to see you again ellie williams." you turned around and ran past a yelling dina. you were sobbing as you grabbed your things, you tried to move quickly before anyone could see you. you ran out the back and through the alley way. you started to make your way to where your car was parked. when you made it into your car you didn't give yourself any time before hunching over and crying. the night running through your mind, you didn't know how you'd recover from this.

----

taglist:

@gold-dustwomxn @lil-elliesgf @elliestears @cjrights

@hopelesssheaven @depressedbratsworld @amberputh

a/n: how do we feel!! i am so sorry this took so long it's been hectic ! glad to be back!

#Spotify #ellie smut #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams #ellie tlou #ellie the last of us #ellie x reader #the last of us part 2 #ellie x fem reader #ellie williams angst #chappell roan

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abbyslev · 3 months

Text

casual || shoko ieiri

a/n: blame chappell roan for this leave me out of it

warnings: smut and angst lol maybe i’ll write a part two

you lay on your back, silk sheets softly rubbing your skin.

the smell of cigarettes fills your nose. your chest rose up and down, trying to catch your breath. you lift your hand up, feeling the warmth of her cigarette slip between your fingers.

you inhale it once before handing it back to her. the warm air filled your chest, blowing the rest out of your nose. you turned your back to her, closing your eyes. she traced the scratch marks on your back, placing a warm kiss down every one of them. “you’re so pretty.” she kissed your neck, wrapping her arms around you. if only it was like this forever.

“i’ll see you guys next week.” nanami waved to all of you, minus gojo.

“good bye!” you slurred out, pulling out the keys to your apartment. “you’re too drunk, baby.” shoko was behind you, helping you put the keys into the door, kissing your neck. you stumbled in, shoko holding you from your waist. “slow down, baby.” she turned you around, kissing you softly.

“you were killing me with this dress, you know that right?” she tugged at your straps, making her way down your neck. “you eyed me down like crazy.” you teased back. “almost got us caught.” she pulled her hair from her neat ponytail.

oh yeah. you had forgotten. you guys weren’t “out” or whatever shoko had said. you guys were nothing more than close best friends to the world. it hurt your heart, knowing she had confessed her love to you, endless night making love, endless pet names and lovely touches from her.

“‘m sorry.” you leaned into her. “it’s okay, princess. just made me think of you a lot. can’t leave much up to the imagination in this dress, especially gojo. you know how he feels about you.” she giggled, slowly unzipping your dress.

she pushed you against the couch, pulling your dress completely off your body. she kissed down your body, praising you each time she kissed you. she took off her pants, straddling your lap. she leaned down, her hands toying with your clit. “i love you, baby.” she kissed you, suppressing your words and moans.

“i love you, i love your body. i love everything about you.” she kissed your nape, her fingers inside of you now. “shoko.” you whispered, back arching against the couch. “i love you so much, my baby.” She pushed your hips down, her fingers sliding in and out of you, her pace quickening with every word.

you wanted to cry. she said these things to you, but did she really mean it? where you just someone to fuck after a stressful day? someone to toy around? but god, you were so in love with her, everything about her. you’d pretend like you weren’t hurt after you’d try and hold her hands, just for her to slip hers away and play it off. when she’s pick someone else to sit by instead of you, avoid eye contact and only answer at night. she’d only show up at night when she craved you.

you held her wrist, eyes rolling back. “cum for me, baby, show me how much you love me.” she looked straight into your eyes, lust filled in them as your body shook, nails scratching her back, her name coming out in sobs.

you push her away, sitting up. shoko pulled away, eyes lowering. you get up, rushing to your bathroom. she stood up, watching as you slammed the door. you threw a shirt on that was on your floor, hands combing through your messy hair. loud sobs echoed through the apartment.

“are you okay, did i hurt you?” shoko knocked on the door. you held your chest, tears pouring out of your eyes. “let me in.” shoko jiggled the doorknob. it scared her honestly.

you finally understood. you were nothing but a fuck toy for her, something to keep her entertained at night, someone to make her feel alive. you thought she was in love with you. you thought maybe you’d get married and leave all this sorcerer bullshit behind.

“just leave.” you cried, head leaning against the door. “i’m not leaving. what’s wrong?” she tried opening the door again. “let me in, princess.” the name made you spiral all over again.

“just go! you don’t even care about me!” your hands gripped the floor, loud sobs ripping from your chest. “i’m not leaving. i do care about you, what are you talking about?” shoko’s brows furrowed. you stood up slowly, unlocking the door. shoko slowly opened it, meeting your tired eyes. your makeup was ruined and your shirt was wet.

she came in for a hug. you pushed her off, tears brimming again. “what is wrong with you?” shoko frowned. “you don’t even like me. i’m nothing but someone to fuck, aren’t i? you don’t ask me on dates, you don’t even look my direction outside of my house. fuck, nanami pays my tab because you don’t even look at me.” you cried. she stayed silent, at loss of words.

“save your fucking breath. i understand now. i was so stuoud, falling in love with you. i’m a hookup.” you step back, face falling into your hands. “i wasn’t supposed to get attached. this was casual to you.” you cried.

“i’m sorry. i sm in love with you, i just…i don’t want to lose you.” “you’re a fucking liar. get out, it’s to late to save your ass.” you sob, shaking your hair. “please…” she held her hand out.

she stepped back, her hands meeting the bathroom door handle. “i’m sorry…” she closed the door behind her.

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hugshughes · 6 months

Text

Casual J. McCarthy

JJ McCarthy x fem!reader

synopsis - Although your relationship with JJ has always been categorized as no strings attached, the way he makes you feel is anything but casual.

wc - 4.6k

contains - she's angsty :( takes place in a universe where JJ and Katya broke up during like spring 2023!!! friends with benefits but more!!! "casual" relationship that acts like more, cursing, kissing, making out, reader's not great family life is mentioned once or twice, sex references (no elicit smut!), caught feelings, arguing, misunderstanding, shouting, eating, crying, hurt with comfort??? i think that's it!!! lmk!

an - wowwwwww this oneeeee. this took me so long to write like SO FUCKING LONG. started it, got sick, got better, wrote some more, got sick again, got better, THEN FINALLY FINISHED! ummmm idk... OH! i was surprised with tickets to Olivia Rodrigo and flew out to her Charlotte show A WEEK AFTER I COME BACK FROM THERE FOR SPRING BREAK to go with my favorite person ever! and Chappell Roan is her opener currently and SHE PLAYED CASUAL AND I CRIED.

my friends call me a loser, 'cause i'm still hanging around.

You often got shit from your friends over your relationship with JJ McCarthy. If you could even truly call it a relationship. The two of you had gotten "together" around the beginning of the school year. He'd followed you on Instagram after meeting at a party. How romantic?

He and his long term girlfriend, Katya had broken up about 6 months prior and the boy was not ready for another true commitment of any kind. You'd also gotten dumped by your boyfriend of over two years over the summer, so honestly neither were you.

You two were strictly casual. Just two not quite friends but also definitely not dating kids who made out and fucked, but also cuddled and kissed each other with no sinful intentions. He took you on dates but God forbid you call him your boyfriend.

i've heard so many rumors, that i'm just a girl that you bang on your couch.

You knew people talked about you two. Girls at parties and in random classes in hushed conversations while they glared into the back of your skulls.

"No, she's not like his girlfriend. She's like his no strings attached side piece or something."

Your eye twitched when you heard it whispered all too loudly behind you in a marketing class. You sighed and shrunk into your chair, reminding yourself that you were gonna private your Instagram.

JJ treated you like his girlfriend, point-blank. It wasn't even like a switch from in private to in public. He always did. But nevertheless he always said that it was all informal. There had been many nights where you stayed up questioning it all. Was you falling sleep on his chest while he played with your hair and kissed your head just another Saturday night for him?

i thought you thought of me better. someone you couldn't lose.

JJ made you feel special, like you were special to him. Special was something you didn't feel often, not after how your ex treated you. You were lucky to even get the bare minimum from him, yet you stayed because he made you believe that was what you deserved.

You and JJ both truly cared about each other. Even though you two were not together, you guys did everything two people that were together did. You went on dates, went together everywhere, cuddled, kissed, had long conversations. It was hard to not imagine how it would feel for him to really be your boyfriend.

You remember the night JJ unknowingly broke your heart. You were at a party, and you'd left to get drinks for the two of you. You were walking back over when you heard one of JJ's friends ask a stupid question.

"Where's your little girlfriend, Jay?"

"Oh, we're not together."

you said "we're not together". so now when we kiss, i have anger issues.

He laughed awkwardly as he said it, rubbing the back of his neck. You turned around and explored the rest of the party for a little while before going back over to JJ. When you returned and stuck a can in his hand, he pulled your arm towards him and kissed you deeply. It was a good kiss, all kisses with JJ were, but it left you hurting.

you said, "baby, no attachment",

It was always the same with JJ. There would be a long while where you and him were in a blissful and amazing haze of acting like a couple without having to be one. Then someone would ruin everything by asking if you were together, causing you two to realize you acted too much like a couple.

You and JJ trusted each other entirely. You'd seen every inch of each other. Helped each other through the bad days, all of it. You'd held him in your arms while he cried over the pressure he felt because of football. You cheered him on at every game. You spent countless nights in each other's beds. He listened while you talked for hours about problems with your family.

but we're... knee deep in the passenger seat, and you're eating me out.

You'd done stuff with JJ you'd never have the heart to repeat to anyone. You got closer to each other than you'd ever been with anyone else, and still there was a strict separation between you.

Your head often drifted to one of the many nights you spent in intimacy with JJ. Flashes of you in the backseat of his truck, in his bed, his shower, all of the above. You never let the words JJ said to you while he groaned above you in bed get to your head. You wanted to believe them, but knew you were better off to not. He made you the happiest you'd ever been while also making you completely miserable sometimes.

is it casual now?

Over the winter JJ had even brought you to dinner with his family. You'd met his parents, and his sisters, and they immediately fell in love with you. They assumed you were his girlfriend, though he never actually said that. They were so glad to see their boy so incredibly happy after being in the dumps over Katya all summer.

You remember at that same dinner freezing in your seat when his mom had what she felt was a bright idea.

"Oh, JJ, she should come to the beach this summer!"

You had to awkwardly laugh it off, throwing a joking 'Maybe!' out as his sisters boasted about how that was a great idea. JJ smiled uncouthly, laughing and carelessly nodding his head. You knew that topic would never be brought up, JJ would definitely not be asking you to spend the summer with him.

two weeks and your mom invites me, to her house in Long Beach. is it casual now?

You liked to pretend he was your boyfriend, it wasn't that hard most of the time. You were exclusive with each other, that was made clear at the beginning of your "relationship". JJ said something about how he wasn't the type to see more than one girl, and that you were that girl for him.

You were the one with him when he won the National Championship. He'd invited you to sit with his family. Like, what the fuck? How were you supposed to not be in love with him?

You knew JJ only wanted something casual. You tried not to think about how he was probably just with you to get over his ex. He told you about her, sometimes. He said how he thought he was gonna marry her, but she didn't want that. You couldn't imagine why. JJ was everything you'd ever need in a man. He was stable, and loyal, and made you laugh so hard you cried. He cared for you, no matter the status of your relationship.

i know what you tell your friends. it's casual, if it's casual now. but baby, get me off again. if it's casual, it's casual now.

What you had going on with JJ was great, and you were in no position to ruin it with your stupid feelings. You didn't really care what you were, as long as it was with JJ.

Now you were getting ready to go over to JJ's apartment for the night. He invited you over a couple hours ago, telling you he wanted to watch some movies and hang out with you. Of course you said yes, how could you not? He'd just finished up with the NFL Combine a couple days ago. And spring break had just ended so you hadn't seen him since before then, you were excited.

You adjusted your hair for the fourteenth time before you were satisfied. You would only be going from your place to the car to JJ's apartment. You still wanted him to think you looked good, good enough to be more than just his fling.

You grabbed your small overnight bag filled with the barebones of your necessities and left your apartment, swiftly locking the door behind you.

You listened to low music while you drove lowly through the college town. It was only a seven minute drive, so you got there right away. You parked your car and sat for a second as you were overcome with a random wave of dejection. You took a deep breath, your brain reminding your heart not to get too excited. You shook off the feeling, grabbing your bag from the passenger seat and exiting your car, locking it behind you.

You knocked lightly on the door you'd walked through all too many times. Barely ten seconds passed before the door opened, a bubbly dirty blonde with the cutest smile you'd ever seen standing opposite you. JJ immediately grabbed you by the hips, pulling you to hug him. You wrapped your arms around his neck, tucking your head into his shoulder. You let yourself believe all the stupid fantasies for just a second.

dumb love, i love being stupid.

"Missed you, gorgeous."

dream of us in a year.

You shut your eyes, squeezing him. He giggled, turning his head to kiss your neck. You felt his smile against your flushed skin.

"I missed you."

He held you tighter, pulling away to kiss your forehead and grab your hand. He shut the door behind you and pulled you further into his apartment. He led you to his bedroom before dropping your hand, turning to go back to the front of the apartment. You dropped your bag next to his bathroom door before taking your shoes off and tucking them just underneath his bed so they were out of the way.

maybe we'd have an apartment. and you'd show me off to your friends at the pier.

"How're you doin' pretty?"

JJ's voice echoed from the kitchen, you could literally hear his smile.

"'M doin' okay! Nothing new, y'know."

JJ heard something different in your voice. Something other than happiness, which obviously concerned him. You sat back on his bed, sighing.

"What's wrong? Sure you're good?"

"Yeah, it's fine! Some shit happened over spring break so I've just been a little out of it is all. Don't worry!"

The blonde came through the doorway again, this time holding a plastic bag with a logo you knew all too well. You gave him a smile that didn't aid his now worried mind.

"What happened? You could've called me."

"Oh come on, Jay. You were literally at the NFL Combine. I was not about to distract you with my stupid problems."

It's not like I'm your girlfriend. JJ shook his head as he sat the bag next to you, turning to open his closet door and rummage through his clothes.

"You can always call me. I wanna hear about all of your problems. You're my best friend, y'know."

i know, "baby, no attachment." but we're...

You winced, fuck. The man you were certain you were in love with just 100% friend zoned you. Just his best friend that he kissed, laid skin to skin with, told his family about.

knee deep in the passenger seat, and you're eating me out.

"I know! But still, you're Mr. National Champion and I'm not gonna bother you with dumb things."

"You're never bothering me. You don't bother me."

He came out of his closet, now shirtless and in new sweatpants. His eyes found yours and he raised his eyebrows, waiting for you to agree with him.

"Okay, okay, whatever. Come eat."

He climbed over you onto "his" side of his bed. You ate while asking him about the combine, as if you hadn't watched the videos of JJ's performance. You definitely appreciated how he looked in his tight red shirt.

"It was fun, nerve wracking as hell though. Kinda like made me realize that like I actually am going to the NFL. It's a lot closer than it feels."

He could say that again. You knew your time with JJ was coming to its end. Whenever he got drafted to an NFL team he wasn't gonna keep wanting a random girl from his old college. Not one that wasn't actually his girlfriend or anything. He'd find another one very quickly, you knew it.

"That's so scary. I couldn't imagine that. Having so many people depend on you for their happiness is too much. But you're good at it."

He threw you a smile, moving closer to you.

"I just love it. It's so fun for me. Obviously not like losing but having so much support is actually really nice sometimes."

You nodded, trying to fathom how it was possible for the boy to be so positive always. You both were done eating so JJ took all of your trash and threw everything into the garbage. When he came back he pulled you closer to him, your head on his shoulder and your back to his chest.

"But enough about football. How was spring break? D'you have fun?"

"Um, yeah! For the most part it was really fun. Florida was fun but when I went home for the last three days it was honestly the worst. My mom was so mean for no reason the whole time, I don't know."

He ran his hands over the tops of your thighs before wrapping his arms around your hips. He kissed the side of your head sweetly, not moving as he spoke into your hair.

"'M sorry baby. Y'don't deserve that."

"Eh it's whatever. I'm used to her not being my biggest fan at this point."

JJ felt so bad. He couldn't relate to you on this level. He'd never know what it feels like to not have good parents.

"Well if it helps any, my mom's your biggest fan, to be completely honest. She keeps texting me to make sure you know you're invited to the beach this summer."

two weeks and your mom invites me, to her house in Long Beach.

It comforted and hurt you all the same. There's no way you could accept that invitation, no matter how sweet it was. You couldn't survive a week with his family while still only being casual. No way in hell.

"That's really sweet, Jay."

You shifted in his arms, turning so your cheek laid against his bare chest. You smiled and lightly kissed his pec.

is it casual now?

"So, what are we watching, Jay?"

"Whatever you want."

It was just another small thing that made you fall harder for him. You didn't know how much longer you could pretend like you didn't want him more than physically.

"How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days?"

"Are you plotting or somethin'?"

You can't lose something that isn't yours. Your smile faltered but you let out a forced giggle, telling JJ to just play the movie. You watched the majority of the movie in silence, answering JJ's questions whenever he had them. At some point the movie got boring, you'd seen it a million times before. You started running your nails over JJ's pec, unknowingly distracting him. He traced his hand up your back and to your hand on his chest, interlocking his with yours.

i know what you tell your friends. it's casual, if it's casual now.

You leaned away from him just a bit to look him in the eyes. You stared at each other for just a few seconds, just until JJ took his hand out of yours, grabbing ahold of your jaw. The thoughts filling your mind seemed to quiet down as JJ kissed you. The kiss quickly grew hot as JJ's hands traveled back down your body. Your tongue hit the seam of his lips, a downright immoral sound leaving his mouth.

You shifted onto your knees over JJ, the connection between you persistent. Your hands ran through his hair, tugging slightly at the dirty blonde locks.

but baby, get me off again. if it's casual, oh, oh, oh.

Your chest pressed against his as he pulled you closer, leaving no space between you. Every move of JJ's mouth and hands cushioned your spiraling thoughts, muting them. Your could focus your thinking on nothing but the physicality of the situation. Until JJ shifted his hands to the curve of your ass and gentley moved so your back was flush with his comforter, the quarterback kneeling over you. It was the position change as much as what he groaned out when your lips parted for just a moment that had you stopping in your tracks.

"Fuck, my girl."

His girl. His girl? How could you be his girl? You didn't mean to hesitate in your kiss with JJ but you did, pausing for just a second. Though it was long enough for JJ to notice and immediately grow concerned. He pulled back from you, his eyes full of worry. Did you not want this?

"Hey, what's wrong? We don't have to do anything, you know that. Right? Sorry I got carried away, baby."

He comforted you immediately, like a man who loved you would. Not like a no strings attached fuck friend would. It soothed you but also made you ache even more. Why did he have to act like he cared? It wasn't fair.

"No, Jay. Sorry, it's fine. I just,"

You trailed off, wanting to hide from his concerned blue eyes. You kind of wished he'd get pissed off that you were hesitant, asking 'The fuck is wrong with you?' instead of being the most gentle and loving person you'd ever known.

"Hey, it's more than okay. Alright? Is something else wrong?"

Yes. Something else was wrong. You're in love with JJ but he's unattainable. You wondered if he knew, if he knew and was still treating you the same just to keep you loyal. Your silence proved JJ right, something was seriously wrong.

"Talk to me, okay? I wanna make you feel better."

You finally looked into his eyes. He was now next to you, laying on his side, confused and concerned.

This is where it ends, you told yourself. There really wasn't a way around telling him, and all you could do was imagine his reaction. You sat up, crossing your legs and looking down at your hands. How the fuck were you supposed to start this? Do you just break it off with no explanation, or let him do it after you tell him you're in love?

"Well I just, I don't know if I can do this anymore, JJ. And I'm sorry, I really-"

"What? That's really not what I thought this was about."

He was shocked, his chest tightened as he leaned away from you, moving off the bed to stand. He crossed his arms over his chest for some comfort.

it's hard being casual, when my favorite bra lives in your dresser.

"JJ, I'm sorry, really. I just, we're supposed to be strictly casual and it's honestly kinda hard when we're so close to each other. Like a quarter of my clothes are in your closet! It's just kind of a lot."

You too stood from his bed, now standing on opposite sides. You didn't want to hurt JJ, but it would only hurt you worse and worse in the end if you kept letting yourself indulge in him.

"Baby, what changed? I thought everything was fine the way it was."

it's hard being casual, when i'm on the phone talking down your sister.

"Jayj, it's just kind of a lot of pressure. Like, we FaceTime your sister when we hang out! Your mom invited me to your summer vacation! Like how is that casual?"

JJ stood there, astounded. He was shocked you felt this way. He thought everything was better than okay. He would've never guessed it all felt too relationship-y for you.

"So, what? Are you like breaking up with me, or?"

"That's exactly my point, JJ! What do you mean by breaking up? There's nothing solid in between us! Our quote unquote label is 'friends that fuck but also sometimes just lay skin to skin and talk for hours on end'. That's fucking confusing JJ! I don't get you!"

and i try to be the chill girl, that holds her tongue and gives you space. i try to be the chill girl but, honestly, i'm not.

Your volume rose as felt tears pricking behind your waterline. You brought your hands to your eyes, rubbing aggressively with the heel of your palms. JJ was so hurt. He didn't think of you as just something casual, not since the very beginning had he thought you two were just random and informal. He knew you two weren't a couple, but he didn't think of you as anything near just his fuck buddy. Watching you, obviously distraught, almost crying in his bedroom over him being too much of a boyfriend had JJ rethinking himself.

"Am I too much? I thought we were more than that to you. I thought I was more than that."

"You are! You are and it's ruining my fucking life!"

knee deep in the passenger seat, and you're eating me out. two weeks and your mom invites me, to her long beach house. i know what you tell your friends. baby, get me off again.

You shouted, tears starting to fall down your face. You tried to wipe them away as you hiccuped, cutting JJ off before he could respond.

"You tell me all you want is something casual so that's what I give you! I was there when you needed it, I left you alone otherwise. But then you just didn't let me go! You make me feel important! And like I'm special to you, then I hear you tell your friends we're nothing serious! I met your family, I went to your championship game and sat with them! Do you know how fucked that is? To tell a girl that is obviously invested in you that she means something to you then doing that! I just- I really wanted you to like me, for real. And you act like you do! But I know you don't really care about what we are. I can't pretend to not like you more than that, JJ. It's not fair anymore."

i fucked you in the bathroom, when we went to dinner.

Holy shit. You'd just practically told JJ you were in love with him. He was even more confused now, was this a joke?

your parents at the table, you wonder why i'm bitter?

"What are you talking about? This hasn't been casual to me since fucking October! I do this shit because I like you! Like, I really like you! You know, before I got broken up with in February last year, I thought I was ready to fuckin' marry her. And then seven months later you come into my life, and you're supposed to be this girl that I'm not really committed to, and that distracts me from how hurt I am. But, I'm more in love with you than I ever was with her! And I thought I would spend my entire fuckin' life with her! Do you know how scary that is? That someone I've known for barely seven months is making me feel more than the girl I dated for years! I'm terrified, it fucking sucks!"

bragging to your friends, i get off when you hit it. i hate to tell the truth, but i'm sorry dude you didn't.

Your mouth fell open, pupils constricting under the haze of tears. JJ just told you he was more in love with you than the girl he thought was gonna be his wife. His tears were flowing by the end of his emotional outburst. He buried his head in his hands, turning away from you.

You couldn't believe what you'd heard. The boy you were convinced didn't want you enough to really have you had just poured his entire heart out over how much he loved you. You were in love just as hard.

You moved slowly around his bed, watching for signs of him shifting again. You gently grabbed his wrists, urging his hands from his face. You jumped to throw your arms around his neck, wrapping him in a hug. His arms wrapped around you so tightly, he cried into your shoulder.

i hate that i let this drag on so long. now, i hate myself.

"I'm sorry."

"'M so sorry."

You both let out your apologies at the same time, causing JJ to let out a wet giggle into the crook of your neck.

"I just love you so much."

Your heart squeezed as JJ spoke into your shoulder, teary and sweet. You loved him just as much. You couldn't believe what was happening.

"I've been in love with you since you took me to the lake."

You whispered it slowly, muffled by his shoulder. On that chilly day in November JJ had driven you guys an hour or so to the coast of the nearest Great Lake, Lake Erie. You ate of the sandy shore and watched the water. It was one of the first times you two were together where it really felt like you were boyfriend and girlfriend.

You'd realized he was the sweet and caring one you'd been waiting for for so long. And it ruined you.

JJ squeezed you tighter. A little sob mixed with a giggle shaking through him. He sniffed, kissing your neck gently.

"I didn't wanna believe I was in love with you, as obvious as it was. I was scared of really being in love after what had happened before. You were just so amazing, and kind, and you listened to me. I've been trying to push it away 'cause I didn't think it was how you felt. Which I can't believe you didn't just tell me, by the way."

You giggled now, pulling away from his shoulder to look at him, jaw dropping.

"Alright, Mr. I don't really need anything serious right now I'm still hurt over my ex. Yeah, sorry I never told you I was in love."

JJ just kissed you, and it felt so incredibly right. Kissing the boy you loved, in his bedroom, where half of your clothes lived. The boy who's whole family, including him, loved you and thought you were perfect for him. You smiled against his lips, you just couldn't help it.

"Can't believe you went from friend zoning me to telling me you loved me in two hours."

JJ pulled away from you abruptly, confusion filling his face.

"When did I friend zone you? I didn't do that!"

"'You can always call me. I wanna hear about all of your problems. You're my best friend, y'know.' It wasn't very soothing to a girl who was actively debating telling you she was in love with you."

"Well you are my best friend! But also the girl I want so, two for one."

You laughed, rolling your eyes playfully as you pulled him by his neck to kiss you. You both couldn't help it as you smirked and giggled into your kiss, hands and minds wandering.

JJ pulled back from you for just a second, causing you to groan.

"Can I be your boyfriend?"

Your annoyance was quickly replaced, your eyes widening. You just smiled and nodded pulling him back in.

"Duh."

Your boyfriend squeezed your ass at your playful response, kissing you deeper. Your head was spinning, JJ was finally yours, for real. You were his girlfriend and he was your boyfriend. And one day, you'd walk down the aisle with him waiting at the altar, not that either of you knew that now. So much for keeping your relationship casual?

i hate that i let this drag on so long. you can go to hell.

211 notes · View notes

eraenaa · 6 months

Text

Still Casual?

Part two of Casual

Rafe Cameron x Reader Tag List

Synopsis: You promised yourself that you’re never going to settle for casual ever again— promised yourself you would never be another casualty of Rafe Cameron.

Warnings: ¿Groveling?, Mentions of Substance Use, P in V Sex, Oral Sex (F & M receiving {69}), Very Slight use of Force, Not Proofread

Word Count: 4,681

It was forthcoming; the warning signs were clear and loud, and red flags were waving, but you ignored them and proceeded without caution. Now, you must reap the consequence of living for the hope of it all. You returned home quickly after seeing such a scene at Rafe’s party. It was pathetic, but you kept looking at your phone in hopes that he would leave a message or even call you, wondering why you didn’t come. But why would he? He was preoccupied and entertained by a new ever-lovely jewel— what need would he have of you? You couldn’t even let yourself cry— you couldn’t even mourn because what is there to mourn? You could not grieve something that was casual. It would be foolish of you to do so.

Now, you lay in your room trying to convince yourself that it was not as deep as you had believed it to be. That it should not affect you this greatly. Convincing yourself to be numb as your heart beats betrayal. You have betrayed yourself because you desired more— regretted your actions because you had settled for casual.

You hesitated to call your friends and tell them what had happened, fearing they say, “I told you so” and “I warned you,” but they were gracious enough to keep those thoughts to themselves, suggesting you should visit them in the city and keep your mind off Rafe, which was difficult to do whilst on the island. It was a spontaneous decision, but with one message to your parents telling them that you’ll be going to New York and that you’ll need to borrow their jet and them replying with a thumbs up, you were quick to go wheels up and fly away from the outer banks.

“So, is it over now? Did you break it off with him?” Your friends asked as you gathered for brunch in the city. You frowned at their question, “What’s there to break off? We weren’t anything,” You mumbled. “Exactly, you weren’t anything! Why, then, are you so wounded?” Your friend, who was notorious for being frank and a tad insensitive, asked. You stayed quiet, not wanting to word out that you had optimism that your dalliance with Rafe would turn into something more. “You know what you should do?” Your friend asked, and you waited for them to finish their thought. “Give him a taste of his own medicine— the last time I was there, weren’t there two guys fighting for your attention? Use them and flaunt to Rafe this casualness he’s insisting on,” They suggested, and you scrunched up your nose in disagreement.

“I’m not gonna do that! I… I’m not gonna use some innocent guy as a tool in the hopes of making Rafe jealous! That’s just mean and petty; besides, it might not even work.” You reasoned. “I just don’t want casual anymore. I want an actual relationship.” You sighed and locked eyes with your two closest friends. “You know what you have to do, don’t you?’ They asked, and you dejectedly nodded your head. “It’s just… if I end our arrangement, it means it’ll be the end of all that great sex,” you solemnly said, making your friends laugh at your admittance. “Oh, come on, it can’t be that great,” your friend scoffed in doubt, but you shook your head. “It is…I— the other night, he made me come seven times…seven! I could barely walk the next day,” you whispered, feeling heat rise to your cheeks as you recalled that memory.

“Really? Seven times?” Your friend asked, intrigued, and you nodded your head, seeing the slight bewilderment in their eyes. “No! That’s beside the point! You deserve someone better— like those guys in those movies and books you love! Not this… frat bro who uses women as his cock warmer!” You sighed and nodded your head in agreement. “I knew you moving to North Carolina was a mistake,” Your friend sighed, “You’re too good for that place— it’s practically Florida!” Your friends said it with disgust, and you laughed at their snobbiness. You spent a week in the city, your friends trying hard to preoccupy your mind and show that you deserved better than Rafe. That you should never settle again— that tens or even hundreds of guys would treat you better than he would. Taking you to bars and parties from Brooklyn to the Upper East Side just to find a guy that would take your mind off of Rafe, none did the job.

You went back to the Outer Banks feeling a bit better, your friends finally convincing you to remove any casual attachments because, knowing you, you would stay for more and be subjected to being one of Rafe’s playthings as long as he’d hold you in his arms. You were about to message him, asking him to meet you by the beach to halt your affairs with him and end your casual relationship. But before you could even type out the message, the doorbell rang, and you heard the hushed voice of the housemaid talking with Rafe. You furrowed your brows but stayed in your spot, not wanting to check if it was actually Rafe because if he saw you now, you would have no choice but to halt and cut ties.

“Where were you? I’ve been calling you since last week, and you’ve been ignoring my calls and messages.” Your back was against him as he found you in the dining room. Your knees felt weak as you heard the deep baritone of his voice and the distinct smell of his cologne. You gathered the courage to face him, “I was in New York,” You reasoned and tried hard not to show hesitancy on your face. “Is that why you missed my party? I was waiting for you, and I even got that expensive ass wine you like because you don’t drink beer,” Rafe asked, walking towards you; his voice held confusion and, dare you say, sadness or hurt because you ceased contact with him for almost two weeks.

You backed away towards the table and shook your head, willing yourself to stay strong and not grow soft by his charms or be attracted by his look; it was impossibly hard to do so. “No… I… went to your party,” You said, watching as Rafe’s brows shit in surprise, him inching towards you. “And, uhm… whilst I was there, I realized something.” You added and backed yourself toward the dining room table, nowhere to go as Rafe stood inches from you. “What?” He asked, trying to capture your gaze, but you were staring at the floor. You took a deep breath before the words left your lips, uncertain and fearing how he would react. Surely, he won’t react badly, right? You were just casual; he won’t be throwing a fit because you decided to end your dalliance. It won’t affect him; it won’t anger or sadden him. And the thought of him being unaffected wounded you.

“I…I realized I don’t want this. I don’t want casual.” You explained. There was a beat of silence, and you finally lifted your gaze to see the confusion in Rafe’s blue eyes. “What… I don’t understand. I— you wanted this,” He said, and you watched the concussion in his eyes hide slight anger. “I thought I did. I thought I could do casual, but Rafe…” You sighed and stepped aside to put distance between the two of you. “Rafe, I’m a relationship type of girl; I like— I need commitment.” You explained. Rafe scoffed and shook his head, following you in the direction where you had walked off. “What is this? Some type of ultimatum? Now what? You’re trapping me in a relationship?” He spat, and you frowned at his words.

“No, I’m doing the opposite! Rafe, I want commitment; I want an actual relationship, and I am completely aware that that is the last thing you want, which is why I don’t think we should see each other anymore,” You reasoned, growing frightened as the rage in his eyes was peeking through. “So what? You’re breaking up with me?” He gritted out, walking towards you, but you shook your head and walked further from him. “No, to break up with you meant we were in a relationship. You made it perfectly clear to me and to everyone that we weren’t,” The anger went quiet on his face, confusion covering it once more. “Nothing but a pastime— purely physical,” You sighed, reciting the words he thought you did not hear him say. You hear his heavy sigh, and an excuse was ready to be uttered from his lips. “I don’t wanna be your hobby anymore,”

You walked off and heard him follow you towards the front door. “Baby, no— I,” You shook your head and felt proud of yourself as his little endearment did not waver your judgment. Continuing to open the door and motioned for him to leave. “I’ll see you around, Rafe,” You tried to smile and gently pushed him out of your home, out of your life.

Two days passed since your last encounter with Rafe, and you finally decided to leave the solace of your home and venture to… anywhere. You knew you could not go about the country club for a round of tennis, knowing Rafe often frequents there for a round of golf. And you could not as well accept the invitation of Weezy and Sarah to hang out in their home. So you headed to the beach, to a cafe that had an incomparable view of the ocean.

You were sitting by the window, your gaze shifting between the book you had brought and the crash of waves. Your quiet and focus were disrupted by the sound of a chair scraping and a presence appearing beside you. “That’s a good book,” You turned to your right in confusion, only to be met with blue eyes and a charming smirk on a familiar face. “You haven’t read, let alone heard of this book, Rafe,” you sighed, scooting further from him to keep your distance.

Rafe clenched his jaw as he felt you inch further from him. Gathering your things to leave. “How long are you gonna keep up with this, huh? Come on, you may not want casual, but you cannot lie and say you don’t want me as well,” Rafe followed you out as you hurriedly walked away from him. You sighed and shook your head, mumbling “Wanted,” as a correction for Rafe’s statement. “What?” He asked and took hold of your hand as you started to walk off once more. “Wanted. It’s in the past; I no longer want casual, and I no longer want you. Just leave this be, Rafe.” You tried to act civil, and respectful. Trying to maintain civility and not burn a bridge that, in all honesty, you would very much like to keep.

You feel his hold on your hand tighten slightly and see the rage in his eye, trying hard to be suppressed. “You have tens of girls waiting to be your next casualty, Rafe. Let’s leave this be… it has run its course. I don’t want meaningless hookups, and it’s clear that that is all you could give me.” Rafe’s jaw clenched as the truth slipped from your lips. “Bye, Rafe,” You said once more and started to walk away from him. “What do I have to do for us to go back to the way it was?” He called after a while; you wanted to groan as he followed you once more. “Come on, baby. I’ll give you a ride home, and we can talk about it… please,” You were starting to grow frustrated as his hands placed themselves on your waist again; it was shameful that it quickly brought back the need in you.

“No, I’ll walk. And Rafe…you can’t have to do anything for us to go back to the way that it was— I don’t want to go back to the way that it was. I have explained it to you thrice now. I don’t want casual!” You were practically screaming, and you hated that you lost composure. You wanted to go about this whole situation maturely, but Rafe was a test of your patience. “God, you’re so hot when you’re angry.” Was all he said, a teasing twinkle in his eyes and a smirk returned to his lips. You scoffed and rolled your eyes, turning away from him as you were now desperate to leave. But Rafe never relinquished his hold of you, only pulling you close and smashed your lips. You kept your jaw clenched as he eagerly tried to solicit a reaction from you— kissed you fervently as he was desperate that you would reciprocate his kiss. You hear him groan and let out a frustrated sigh as he parted for air. “Enough, Rafe. It’s done; we’re through with this.” You sternly said and wiped your lips of him.

A week has passed since Rafe kissed you. And you would admit, you were feeling withdrawals. You were missing him. Missing the way he held you close in sleep, with him burying his face in the crook of your neck or in your hair, and the way his arms would wrap around you so tightly yet so comfortingly. You missed how he would kiss your lips first thing in the morning and last thing in the night. You missed how he would bring pints you ice cream after taking Weezy to the ice cream parlor. You missed how he made you feel wanted— how he made you feel like you were the only one to bring him such blinding pleasure when you laid. You missed how you thought that you were made for him and how he was made for you. You missed Rafe. But not wholly enough to settle to be one of his girls once more.

You were having a rare family dinner, and your parents finally came back from their trip and decided to stay home for at least a week and it went by quickly, with this being their last night and them flying off first thing tomorrow morning. You tried not to appear sullen— to actually enjoy their company, but it was difficult as Rafe was the constant thought in your head. You were seated in the dining room, your parents discussing their next trips and asked about your recent venture to New York, when the doorbell rang. You oddly felt your heart spike as you heard shuffling when your maid went to see who the visitor was. You licked your lips as you heard the far-off sound of Rafe calling for you, your maid entering the dining room and whispering that he came here for you. You excused yourself from your parents and hastily went to the front door, horrid to see the state Rafe was in.

His eyes were bloodshot, and his form more rigid. There was a thing sheen of sweat on his forehead, and he smelt of booze, and your eyes did not miss the smidge of white powder on the side of his nose. He was fucking high.

“Hi, baby… you look so pretty,” He slurred as he stumbled closer to you. You were mortified that he could be seen by your parents, especially in such a state. “Oh, you’re wearing one… one of those going out dresses,” he mumbled again, his hand going to your waist and feeling the fabric of your dress. “Are you on a fucking date? What? You fucking replaced me already, huh? Is that it?” He was no longer mumbling; his mellow state turned to rage, and you looked back down the hall, fearing your parents heard. “Rafe, shh… my parents are here; they cannot see you like this.” You tried to push him out, but he resisted, now more determined to step foot further into your house. “Like what? Are you ashamed of me? Is that why you ended it?” You stared up at him with him with a deep frown. You hear your parents call for you, and you feel your stomach twist in fear.

You weighed your options; you could not let your parents see Rafe, but you could not push him out of your home and leave him in such a state. So you had no choice but to guide him towards your room once more. “Hm… I knew you couldn’t resist me. I missed you so much; I missed the way you would scr—“ You shushed him and made him sit on your bed, “I’ll be back— I still have dinner with my parents.” You said and hoped your mother and father would not grow suspicious of your absence.

Your emotions were mixed as Rafe wrapped his strong arms around your waist as you stood before him. He nuzzled his face on your torso and hummed in satisfaction. “I missed you, baby… tell me you missed me too,” He mumbled against your frame. You tried to push him away, but he would only whine and hold you tighter. You had the faintest clue on how to handle him in a drunken and high state— he never was neither of those things whilst you two had your arrangements. “Rafe, please, my parents are getting suspicious. I’ll come back in a while.” You looked down at Rafe, who looked up to you with such vulnerability in his eyes that you had never seen. “I promise I’ll be back,” you sighed and kissed his cheek as a reassurance. Rafe finally relinquished his hold, and you ran back to the dining room and prayed your parents wouldn’t ask too many questions.

Dinner somehow lasted for hours. Your parents were insistent on doing some bonding after many months away, playing board games, and even watching one of your favorite childhood movies. It was nice, you admit, to spend more time with your parents, but the thought of Rafe trying to sober up in your room and that he might be caught caused you to shrink in fear and panic.

It was nearing midnight when you finally returned to your room, and you saw Rafe newly showered and waiting for you by the foot of your bed. “Do you want water?” You asked as you saw that he had sobered up. “No, I’m fine,” He said, but he could not meet your eyes. There was a moment of tense and awkward silence between the two of you. “You should… you should probably go,” You sighed and moved to the other side of your room to remove the earrings you adorned.

Rafe did not utter a word, and you bit your lip as you turned to him. “Why?” He asked after a quiet moment. “Why did you end it?” He asked, and you felt exhaustion wash over you. “Rafe, I told you, I realized I don’t want casual, and that is all you are capable of. I’m not going to force myself and my wish for commitment upon you.” Rafe shook his head, “No. You were perfectly fine with our arrangement— what the fuck changed?” You licked your lips and thought twice if you should share with him your moment of realization. “I went to your party.” You stated and took your seat next to him. You saw from the side of your eye that Rafe had a frown on his face as he tried to take hold of your hand. “I went to your party and saw you making out with another girl… and there I realized that I can’t be casual. I can’t be the chill girl who settles for sharing someone they really like.”

“You really like me?” Rafe asked, ignoring all your other statements. You couldn’t help but laugh as a boyish grin spread across his lips. “Liked, is the key word here,” You say with a small smile, but the grin on his lips faltered.

“I don’t want casual.” Rafe suddenly announced and humorlessly laughed with a shake of your head. “You’re just saying that because you want us to fuck again,” There was a sting in your heart as you said the words. “No,” He denied, and you shook your head, standing up to put distance between the two of you. “Can you fucking stop walking away from me!” He gritted out and pulled you to sit beside him once more. “I never saw this as casual, okay?” You scoffed at his lie. “It’s true!” He defended, “Rafe, I heard you with your friends— you told me on three occasions what we are. I saw you making out with a girl! You saw me as nothing but casual!”

“I don’t think you know what casual really is,” Rafe sighed and cupped your cheek; you tried to shift his hold, but you grew weak as you missed the way his large, calloused palm cupped your cheek. “If we were just casual, I wouldn’t have spent every moment of my free time with you. I wouldn’t be staying with you after we had sex and hold you ‘till we fall asleep. If we were casual, I wouldn’t attempt to cook you breakfast or go with you to those bookstores for hours just to hold the things you wanted to buy… I wouldn’t have told you about my issues with my dad, let alone let you meet my family! Baby, it was never casual.” You chewed on your lips as you felt your heart flutter, but your mind was battling with it. “You were kissing another girl— you bragged to your friends that I was nothing but a pastime.”

“Those were mistakes. Topper was giving me a hard time— kept teasing me of how whipped I was with you and… I just wasn’t ready to admit it,” You bit your tongue as you felt the want to let a small smile slip your lips. “And at the party?” You instead asked, reminding yourself of the reason why you had the epiphany that you and Rafe could not work out. “It was a bigger mistake,” Rafe sighed, and you feel his thumb caressing your cheek, straying to touch your lips. “But it only made me realize more clearly that all I want to kiss and hold— the only one I want is you,” You leaned in closer to his touch. Ignoring the fact that your friends would be dismayed by your actions because you faltered by his words and his touch. “Do you believe me?” He asked as his face was inching closer to yours. You could not utter a word, but instead, you just moved to kiss his lips that you had desperately missed.

“Rafe,” You mewled as his lips moved to your neck and his hand gripped your bosom. “You missed me, haven’t you, baby? Admit it, pretty girl,” Rafe hummed and nipped your skin but quickly soothed it with his tongue. You feel his ringed hand grips your thigh, his hand trailing up higher and higher. “Say it, pretty baby, tell me how much you’ve missed me,” Rafe practically growled. “Oh god, I missed you— so much,” You finally uttered and moved to straddle and push him down on the bed. You heard Rafe chuckle as it was your turn to pepper kisses on his neck. You feel his strong hands grip the flesh of your ass, and he guides you to grind upon him. “Let me prove to you that you’re the only one I want— will ever want, for that matter.” You gasped as Rafe barbarically ripped off your dress. “Rafe, that was couture,” You distractedly said as the fine dress was torn. “Baby, I don’t fucking care, I’ll buy you a new one.” He said and caught your lips as his hands fondled your exposed breasts, and your fingers tugged at the hem of his shirt.

Your hands trailed the skin of his exposed chest, feeling the contours of his impressive physique, and your hands hesitated and hovered over his trousers. You looked Rafe into his blue eyes, “All yours, baby, I’m all fucking yours,” He growled and harshly kissed your lips as your hand slipped into his trousers and grasped his length that was already hard and throbbing. Rafe had no patience and slipped off his pants himself, smirking as you marveled at his length and your mouth practically salivated at the sight of him.

“Tell me what you want, baby. Use your words,” Rafe whispered and nipped the lobe of your ear, making you whimper. “You… I want you,” You sighed as his fingers played with the sensitive buds of your breast. “Hm… what else?” Rafe urged, wanting to hear you foul and lewd— wanting you to utter your desires. “I… want… I want to suck you off and then fuck me after,” You whispered, staring into once clear blue eyes that now turned dark with lust and want. You gasped as Rafe altered your position. Him lying on your bed with your cunt hovering over his face. His hands guide you to lower yourself for your sex to meet his lips and your lips to meet his length.

You could not hold in the moan as his hands forced you to shift all of your weight atop him, and his hand gripped your hair whilst your tongue traced the length of his pulsating member. “Rafe… oh fuck,” You cried as his tongue darted in and out of you, and you finally gathered the courage to take him into your mouth. You had difficulty before; you had quite a sensitive gag reflex, and Rafe’s massive length tested that. “Such a good girl taking me in the pretty mouth… so fucking good, baby.” Rafe praised against your cunt and granted as your cunt grounded itself on his face in search of further friction. Rafe felt the back of your throat squeeze him, and he feared he might spill himself in your mouth; that could not be. He needed to feel you around him before he could let himself feel such pleasurable release.

You tried to catch your breath as Rafe repositioned you once more, you straddling him again. You buried your head in the crook of his neck as you sank down on his length. You hear Rafe wince in pleasure and pain as you sink into his cock and as you bit down on his shoulder blade. “So fucking tight… all fucking mine,” Rafe gritted as he was finally fully sheathed into you. “Rafe,” You called as you felt tears threatening to spill at the sensation of him being buried deep inside. “This is what you wanted, huh? You wanted to be fucked by me— only me,” You mindlessly nod your head as you feel him brush over a spot that muddle your mind and made your senses only feel pleasure. Rafe buried his face between your heaving chest and inhaled the scent of you deeply. Your hands scratched his back, making tingles reach the bottom of his spine, spurring him closer to climax.

And though Rafe was desperate for release— he was addicted to the feel of your clinging and clenching around him, to the sweet moans that spewed out of your plump lips, and the tears of pleasure that cascaded down your cheeks. He wanted to savor you in such a state for a few moments more, even if it meant he denied himself the pleasure he had been seeking for the past two weeks. “Rafe… I’m— fuck, Ra…” You could not even finish or properly word out your sentence as pleasure consumed you. “Fucking hell,” Rafe gritted and tilted his head back as he felt your release trigger his own.

You breathed heavily as you waited for him to spill himself inside you. Trying to compose your mind and control your breathing. You took his face between your hands, looking deeply into his eyes. “Still casual?” You breathlessly asked. Rafe shook his head and gripped your waist tightly. “Never casual.”

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