#road to hell reprise will never not LEVEL me

[thornofthevale]

"to know how it ends, and still begin to sing it again, as if it might turn out this time" will never fail to punch a hole straight through my entire being

[attheendoftheline]

Hadestown is the show for callbacks and mirroring, probably the best example is the Groundhog Day esc ending in road to hell reprise. Though one of my favorites has to be Orpheus and Eurydice when compared to Hades and Persephone. I often see the comparisons being drawn Hades and Orpheus/Persephone and Eurydice but honestly I’m here to argue the opposite is really true. The only time these comparisons are really viable is when they’re personally being made (Epic III ‘was like me a man in love with a woman’ it really stops their comparison wise, and Persephone’s cut chant II verse directly to Eurydice ‘when I was a young girl like you’.)

If I raise my voice-

Persephone and Orpheus are a lot alike. This added to the fact that they are canonically some level of friends, he would have seen her since he was a kid and she general likes him etc. They both are the emotional , sensitive party in their relationship. Heart out on the sleeve— “I’ll sing from the rooftops of my love and I don’t care who here’s it I’m in love!” Types. Now Persephone has been working hard to…well repress herself. She drinks and drugs herself into oblivion trying to put up a persona of not caring just being fun and indifferent. She wants to give up but can’t! She’s doing all this because her heart aches, because hades became someone else entirely - and doesn’t accept she’s still the same. We see her wild and free in the mortal realm and her sort of speakeasy.

They both raise their voice. Orpheus has been beaten, cast aside, lost and confused and he still speaks out and raises a crowd, he still Carries some level of belief in that better world, in taking her home. Persephone has been beaten in another way and mostly by herself with her drinking— but the moment things get serious she stops. She yells at hades! This woman screams at the most powerful man around— she appeals to his emotion first just as Orpheus.

Now emotion isn’t weakness don’t even try to get that argument from this but both are very… heightened. Highs are highs , lows are low. Being a very gifted demigod and a goddess— yeah it’s gonna be larger then life. It effects others- Orpheus more literally with his voice being magic and Persephone as her moods are just infectious (if mamas happy everybody’s happy). Their first instinct is to fight and yell and protest when things aren’t right, call it out! God they’re so optimistic …even if persephone tries to make you believe she’s not, she’s a rebel. She runs a speakeasy as I said as well as actually seeing views out of the wall (confirmed in working on a song).. she wants the downfall, she wants a change, she wants spring just as anyone.

Keep your head low-

Hades and Eurydice aren’t any less emotional, they just bottle things up. They’re terrified to let anyone see the real them, see them vulnerable! That’s when the strike to kill happens… that’s when they get to you, whoever “they” may be. Eurydice hides herself behind her coat and by never staying long to begin with— stirred on by fate itself. Hades hides himself in his work, in his factories and walls- his iron fist is one so he may never show the flower within. They’ve been slighted one to many times. If they’re honest people will laugh, people will hurt them— the world is cruel! They are the pessimist to their lovers optimist. Seeing the worst of the world instead of the best.

I’m not saying Eurydice has the potential to turn into a fat cat industrialist, but I’m saying it’s interesting how much she aligns with hades and it humanizes him. Eurydice always had a greater potential to change and perhaps it’s because she’s younger- slighted but not scorned. She found the right person at the right time who broke so many rules of the world for her that it’s impossible not to become optimistic. She stands of what Hades could be/could have been. As even as Orpheus is close to making him completely change his mind and as his relationship heels he still! Falls back on order and his work. It’s a crutch, just like how running away is Eurydices.

I like when the characters themselves make a direct comparison- mainly In love to the gendered party but I don’t think it’s the one everyone should be making/setting as the standard. I just… hghhhh show has a lot going on and I’ll die for it. (Also look out for more bullet points I have a lot of stuff that can’t be full posts)

[thespoonisvictory]

korean hadestown anon back here to say that i did, in fact, go see korean hadestown and. spoon. SPOON. it was so good. oh my god. that was one of the most vocally talented casts i have ever seen i am not exaggerating. you watched that orpheus clip i sent but it doesn't show off his beautiful, rich, chest voice that he puts so much power and emotion into and. skdjhgjh.

i think staging wise it was relatively similar to the original; they have the turntable in the center and everything, only it's missing the piece that moves up and down in the center. instead, they've got this elevator type thing back where the drums would be in the broadway version that opens and closes (so eurydice is standing in it when orpheus looks back, and it shuts in front of her). they did some different things vocally, though, like making both hermes and hades heavy singing parts instead of the sort of mainly talking ones they are in the original, if you know what i mean. hermes was INCREDIBLE, he's got this gorgeous vibrato he uses consistently and did some really great riffs in the opening and finale while still keeping some rasp in there. and hades sings the entirety of hey little songbird instead of half talking it, so there's a point when he finally gets really close to her and speaks that second to last hey, little songbird, and UGH the impact was so good. i would absolutely listen to this version and i usually skip the english one lol

hermes sings the ensemble's parts instead in lady of the underground, which i thought was interesting. i kind of like how you see how blatantly alone persephone is, though, especially later when she watches the workers sing for the first time with orpheus. also the actress did this really awesome riff coming out of the band introduction and took the 'there's a crack in the wall' part even higher

and flowers, man,,,,the first half is almost entirely belted, and it's raw and loud and you feel her pain and grief as she's hunched over on the floor until her voice breaks and she starts sobbing halfway through and that's when the song gets softer. she holds her hand to her cheek towards the end and when she raises it she realizes it's moved into a gesture all the workers were doing in why we build the wall and MAN

and ORPHEUS. you mentioned after listening to him that he has that same feeling as the off broadway version of being touched by the gods, and YEAH. YEAH. everything that came out of this man's mouth was beautiful i was on the edge of my seat the entire time. to avoid saying 'this was amazing' 20 times here are some highlights:

- he put so much strength and emotion into epic ii that i genuinely got chills. i think it was the 'doubt that she'll never come' part

- in wait for me, after the fates do their whole 'who are you to think you can do this?' part, he held the vibrato on that first set of la la las for a really long time. again with the being touched by the gods part lmao i just remember being really impressed

- do not get me started on if it's true oh my GOD

- epic iii blew me out of the water, the part where the ensemble all sing with orpheus as he's doing that even higher la la la had this incredible swelling energy that i kind of miss in the broadway album– they have the workers wear these tight gray caps over their heads so they're each triumphantly rip them off one by one as they're swirling around hades on the turntable all singing together and ahhhhh it was so good. orpheus doesn't do the 'what has become of the heart of that man' section softly, he gets louder and louder and stomps his foot with each line as the ensemble echo a la underneath him with each one. it's only when hades turns to face persephone does he get softer (and the amount of emotion hades put into his first la la la was. gh) i actually like the lack of the rising centerpiece because everyone is on the same level singing together. hades is really surrounded by everyone and the ensemble aren't even looking at him or orpheus anymore

- fun fact both orpheus and eurydice's last "i'm coming" in wait for me and wait for me reprise were said in english, just thought that was neat. also i'm pretty sure they added an additional higher harmony to the reprise and the woman doing it absolutely killed it

- they up the reverb during doubt comes in, so orpheus' la la las are so beautifully haunting as they're echoing around the whole room and dkghskhgh. chills.

- again hermes has kept up this loud, showman persona the entire time, singing with his entire chest and everything, but even he breaks and has to speak the "it's a sad song" in road to hell reprise. he also did this really really stunning vocal riff at the end it was awesome

anyway can you tell i liked it. i'm already planning on going again skjhghf

going insane going crazy anon this sounds so lovely, I'm so happy for you and the changes sound so good? I'm glad you liked it so much, and I love that this orpheus seems to have conveyed the feeling of me listening to epic iii for the first time and losing it.

[basedsakura]

the reason why kazekage rescue arc sakura is simply The Best is bc it’s what kishimoto originally wanted her to become!!!!! that’s the arc where she showcases what kind of shinobi she’s grown into over the timesmil- a talented, skilled, hardworking, chivalrous, brave, determined “hell of a girl”. that’s sakura!!! that was supposed to be shippuden sakura!!! like how do you do that and then make her regress into a flat version of her part1 self🤨

Sometimes, I ask myself if Kishimoto really wrote Sakura in this arc bc everything is just so amazing? It's the first time he gave her the treatment she always deserved as a heroine, as a main character. Unfortunately for us, it never happened again. She was handled so poorly after this and I wish I could protect her from this shit writing.

What do you think about war arc!Sakura? I see a lot of fans saying that Kishimoto gave her justice after sidelined her so much but I feel like even though it wasn't as bad like her portray on Iron Land arc(literally her worst writting imo) it's still bad as f*ck!

i really think the kazekage arc was kishimoto’s moment of clarity when it came to writing sakura lol because it’s all very logical and organic. we had it ALL!!!!!!! sakura taking a moral stand, sakura sacrificing herself and embodying her principles to the point where sasori had to run into chiyo’s blades due to his worldview being so shaken, sakura facing an astronomically stronger oponent and overcoming her fear of him, sakura being praised BY that opponent AND her comrade (who is also a A class shinobi), sakura basically extracting valuable intel on orochimaru (to be fair that intel was offered to her by her dying enemy as the reward for beating him), she! was! the! moment! 

the war arc sakura is? okay? i mean no different from the rest of the series really :/ i liked the part where she aided obito and helped sasuke out of the desert dimension, that was cool

i didn’t like the reprise of the ‘’you can watch my back’’ it was honestly humiliating and it’s almost as if kishimoto wanted the audience to say ‘’uhhhhh no you haven’t caught up with them you silly bitch??’’ because there is still a CHASM between her and her teammate’s abilities in terms of power. like why would kishimoto even give her that copypasted, unearned power up if he was just going to let her be saved by naruto and sasuke again lol... but i mean it’s the old formula of his, a woman who’s supposed to be powerful is used to showcase how powerful some other male character is. i swear i’m not reading sexism into this and i’m not trying to hate on kishimoto, but that’s literally what happens (kurenai vs itachi, tsunade vs kabuto, konan vs obito, hinata vs pain) even sasori v sakura and chiyo, as much as i loved it, ended with sasori killing himself basically lmao

what i’m trying to say with this word vomit is that i didn’t care what sakura’s power level is. i didn’t care for her to get power ups, or even catch up to naruto and sasuke. i never wanted a girlboss sakura, i wanted a sakura who wasn’t a bump in the narrative road. she was one of the main characters, and was literally the ONLY ONE without a backstory, without a clear cut motivation (that didn’t have anything to do with either naruto or sasuke), without an arc, and without any bearing on the course of the story

her character still resonates with me and she’s still my fave tho! 

[safetypinsymphony]

“Is it a plot twist, or is it just lying?” and brief thoughts on the SPN road so far

To paraphrase an exchange from Bob's Burgers: Is it a plot twist, or is it just lying?

This seems to be an evolving theme of Supernatural's Season 15. I haven't been keeping up on my reviews here, dern it, but after some mild kerfuffles I've experienced between various fans (including myself), I'm re-inspired. Or perhaps incensed.

“Writers lie.”

When we first learned that God is a right asshole and as such, opened a rift in Hell before checking out to leave our intrepid heroes to deal with the undead invasion spilling forth—and then decided to check back in just to start fucking with the Winchesters again—I wasn't overly bothered, but nor was I particularly thrilled by the implications. I was begrudgingly interested to see what was evolving.

Well.

Kinda like watching a slo-mo train wreck, as it turns out. We're witnessing how this canon ret-conning is already starting to fray. How playing fast and loose with what the show has established as the rules of its universe is creating this “It was all just a dream” Dallas-esque meta embarrassment.

Seasons back, when the show first shattered the Fourth Wall by introducing the SPN books and conventions into its own mythos, that self-awareness was a really risky move. To this day, you either love it or hate it, but it managed to hold together because of the infrequency with which it was explored, and the skills of the writers at the time. (Even then, we got Season Seven, Time for a Wedding, arguably one of the more tasteless episodes of the whole series.)

As Dabb and company are choosing to further explore Chuck-as-God-and-puppetmaster, one of the show's important thematic cornerstones, that of the value of <i>freewill</i>, is taking a big hit. And the show knows it. They've had Dean come right out and air his disgruntlement with it several times already. So we get it, yeah, it's a thing. It's what Dabb is using to propel this last season (along with rampant fanservice and as many returning characters—dead or alive—that he can shoehorn into 43 minutes).

Now, I do loves me some fanservice on occasion, and there are certainly quite a few characters who died in rather inglorious ways and probably deserved better send-offs than they got, but I'm not sure 'hanging a flag on it' does enough to compensate for what this means in regards to the past 14 years of the show. In asserting that all of the past canon has been little more than Chuck's manipulations, it also means that the viewers' investment into the whole of the SPN universe has been hung on a lie within its own framework. “Ret-conning” doesn't even come close to describing this level of narrative dishonesty. (Wow, that sounded dramatic, but it's kind of true, you know?) By undermining the canon of the past 14 years, the current show creators have made Gamble, Carver and yes, even Kripke unwittingly complicit in this snake oil operation.

If SPN were just a movie, two hours designed from the jump to play out this way, I might think it was a little cheesy but oh well. I'm not that invested. (See 'Cabin in the Woods', which was a helluva fun neo-horror romp, in a similar vein.) But this is FOURTEEN YEARS we're talking here. That's a loooong time to be invested in a narrative, just to have the latest showrunner unseat all the canon that came before him. The only thing that matters one iota now? Season 15. It, apparently, is the only “true” canon. The only canon where ��Chuck” is revealing his hand and operating with any in-world narrative legitimacy.

Thanks, I hate it.

I'm not going to pretend I like what Dabb is proposing. The segment of fandom hungry to bust Sam and Dean's so-called co-dependency is pretty stoked about it, naturally; they see classic SPN as toxic and unhealthy (and let's be real, in the way of a certain ship).

But here's the thing that gives me The Feels™, and it's not turning the Winchesters (or Cas, for that matter) into domesticated, well-adjusted Hallmark Channel leading men. (That's what, you know, The Hallmark Channel is for.) And it's sure as hell not invalidating the canon of the show I fell in love with.

It's urban legends, black humor, the endless highways and guttering neon. It's two brothers raised on the fringes of society, their unbreakable fidelity, finding comfort wherever they can since tomorrow, they may meet the business end of a rugaru. It's the colorful characters they meet along their travels. It's Led Zeppelin, greasy spoons and ancient tomes. It's faith and heart and sacrifice.

Unless Dabb dismantles these things too. At which point, a pox upon him and his house. Writers may lie, but this would be universe assassination.

●●●

Oh! I was going to mention some episodes too, lol. Here are a few quick take-aways, since I've already blabbed on enough.

Episode 3: RIP, Rowena. I looooooved the line, “But I believe in prophecy. I believe in magic.” That was SO her. Of course an ancient witch, the most powerful in the game, would live (and die) on those words. And kudos to the show for remembering it put that Sam gun on the mantel in Season 13, iirc. Pretty sure we'll see Rowena again before the grand finale, though.

Big happy for the suggestion that Sam is a witch-in-the-making. Also glad Cas finally got his brain wrapped around the fact that Dean was pissed at him but he didn't need to take it anymore. Dean has some valid reasons to need space from Cas, and it's a handy way to get Cas off doing his own thing (as Misha is not contracted for every episode).

Berens did a solid job writing this episode, but I'm glad we've wrapped the customary 3-episode season premier. I had high hopes for myriad crusty, decaying dead shambling around a grim world, but instead we got a handful of ghosts, literally running around in broad daylight. The first two episodes were … clumsy.

Episode 4: 'Atomic Monsters', was written by my favorite current SPN writer, Davy Perez, and he did not disappoint! Something about the way he writes dialogue sounds so naturalistic to me, and he manages to tap into authentic feelings in the characters without feeling rushed or contrived. I believe his stories. I never get thrown out of his episodes.

The episode was lovingly directed by Jensen Ackles. The guy flat out knows what to give us. That whole beginning red scene, with Dean and his John Wick bad-assery and then … then we get a Sam who has never eschewed his demon blood addiction. It was chilling and gorgeously actualized and I might have watched that bit more than is healthy.

And we got to revisit Becky Rosen, who is now a fangirl—like many of us—but she's grown up and assimilated fandom enjoyment into her daily life. Perez did a great job in saving Becky, as a character. She isn't the butt of anyone's joke anymore. She isn't a dangerously unbalanced fan. She's just … one of us. Thank you, sir.

Episode 5: Fun stuff in this one! Brotherly banter, Sam and Dean dressed as sort-of Fish and Game employees, a brilliant turn by actress Anna Grace Barlow reprising Lilith (no one saw this coming!), werewolf brothers as yet another example of monsters that aren't as cut-and-dried as hunters might like, and more 'visions' from Sam wherein Sam is Lucifer again, and Dean still has the Mark of Cain. YUM.

But there were also a couple some not-so-fun things. The girls glamping in the beginning was just plain silly, the fight scenes had too many jump cuts (imho), but mostly, why on earth would they leave the God gun in the glove compartment of the Impala?? I noted that back when Dean put it in there, Episode 2 I think it was, but I seriously doubt they wouldn't have locked it up safely after that. Please, foo. Don't make our characters stupid.

By episode's end, Dean is clearly frustrated and demoralized by their predicament. It's clear Sam and Dean will be taking turns buoying each other's flagging spirits this season. As co-dependent as ever. I am here for this.

●●●

This post has gone on long enough, so I think I'll hold Episode 6 ruminations for a separate entry, and maybe dish about where we think the series is heading, for a finale. Anyone reading this probably has a numb butt by now. Anywho, thanks for hanging in with me, gang! Talk at you later...

[theentiregdtime]

hey if you’re still in a mood for bryan adams/macden asks: please consider “cuts like a knife”

Dennis is dropping Mac off on a date.

Which is fine. It’s an inconvenience and a complete waste of an hour of his evening, but otherwise… it’s fine.

Traffic is light, he can pick up dinner on the way back, and he’s playing his Bryan Adams CD in the car without any objection from Mac, for once- presumably because he feels guilty for asking this favor of him.

Which he should! And he should give Dennis the usual ‘thanks, man, you’re the best!’ and swear to pay him back and babble on and on about how awesome this is to the point where it’s entirely annoying (but Dennis doesn’t tune him out, he never tunes him out, even when he’s rambling incoherently).

Mac isn’t doing any of that, though. As a matter of fact, they’re hardly talking at all. It’s quiet between them. Not the effortless, familiar quiet, but the kind that sits on the back of your tongue and burns a hole in your throat.

The only thing filling the stillness between them is the stereo, good ol’ Bryan Adams singing about how there was only you and me and there’s nowhere unless you’re there and you told me that you’d wait forever.

“I feel like you’re mad at me, dude,” cuts the silence like a knife.

What? He isn’t-…!

Ah, shit, that’s fair.

Dennis does have quite a history of berating Mac over his dates- but that’s because they were always thinly-veiled charades that he made a big, flamboyant show of so everyone could see just how well he was keeping the closet doors shut.

But they’re open now. They’re open and it’s different and Dennis isn’t mad. He’s not even jealous or bitter about how he’s going to go home tonight and watch a movie alone and his best friend will be out here gallivanting about town with someone else. There’s just…

Something in him is burning. He can’t quite place it, but at the same time, he knows exactly what it is and simply doesn’t wish to look it in the eye.

Mac is out of the closet. He’s dating guys now, and this is the first of them he’s formally gone out with, at least as far as Dennis is aware. He doesn’t pretend to know what Mac gets up to when he spends the afternoon at the Rainbow and comes back covered in sweat and glitter, or what he did over the course of the year they didn’t speak.

It’s real now. It’s genuine. It isn’t a stage act. It isn’t a six-ring bullshit circus of Catholicism and heterosexuality and look how normal I am whilst he parades around like a damned rodeo clown.

That means if he grabs someone by the shoulders and says he loves them, he’ll mean it. If he ducks in to give someone an excited kiss, it’s going to connect and he’s going to want it.  If he goes out on a dinner date, he’s going to wear two colognes and someone is going to like the smell of it. If he moves in with someone, they’re going to sleep in the same bed, and if they sleep in the same bed, they’re going to hold each other. If he buys someone a gift, it’s going to be because he knows them, really knows them.

And there aren’t going to be any more movie nights or monthly dinners or drunken brownouts at the bar. Dennis is going to be alone- and he’s never been truly alone. It was Dee and his parents, then it was Mac, then it was Maureen, then Mac, then Mandy, then Mac-

He isn’t certain what silence is going to sound like.

When he pictures it, he’s on the sofa watching a movie, and no one is eating chips too loudly and leaving crumbs, no one’s feet are encroaching upon his personal space, no one is pausing to make idiotic commentary every ten minutes, and the movie just plays and plays and keeps going until it’s over and time is passing and everything is growing old. He’s reading a book undisturbed because there’s no one in the other room on a goddamned exercise bike or making themselves a sandwich or taking a shower. There is Dennis Reynolds and then there is blackness, deafening quiet, like the vacuum of space, and there is nothing in between.

“I’m not mad,” Dennis insists unconvincingly. He’s not sure why it sounds like a lie, because for once, it isn’t.

The CD skips over to the next song, and an upbeat guitar begins blaring a bit too loudly for their conversation. He doesn’t turn it down, though, because he doesn’t want to have to hear the nothingness in between.

Driving home this evening, could have sworn we had it worked out…

Dennis likes this song. Of course he does, it’s his mix CD- but it strikes him differently now. Typically, he’s slapping the steering wheel and cutting people off in traffic and singing loudly, thinking about wanting something so badly and feeling it slip away but still wanting it, and the reckless thrill and romance of the give-and-take of it all.

Well, I heard it on the street, heard you might have found somebody new…

But it doesn’t feel that in real life. There is nothing exciting or arousing or mysterious about this. It just feels like trying to hold onto water.

Who is he, baby? And tell me what he means to you…

“I do think this is a waste of my night, but I didn’t wish to hear your whining, so I’m here!” Dennis snaps a little callously, but he isn’t shouting yet. “I’m driving the car, aren’t I?”

Mac doesn’t respond right away. It’s just the music again.

Mac was supposed to wait. He was supposed to wait for Dennis. He was supposed to be fine with nothing for years and years, fine with both of them stalling by messing around with inconsequential women, until Dennis decided he was finally ready. He was supposed to always be an option. He was supposed to always be there, just waiting in the corner of the ring until Dennis tapped him in.

The door was always supposed to be open and now it’s starting to shut.

I took it all for granted, but how was I supposed to know that you’d be letting go?

Yeah, that stings.

“It’s just, like, we’re not talking and-”

“Then talk. Why must I be the one to talk? I am trying to focus on the road, Mac!”

“Well, maybe I don’t want to, because you’re just gonna yell at me.”

Dennis doesn’t glance over, but he’s sure Mac is pouting.

Or even worse, maybe he’s not making puppy dog eyes and sticking out his bottom lip as he does when he’s being melodramatic. Maybe he’s hurt, wholly and genuinely hurt, and his face is just dead.

Dennis doesn’t glance over.

“Oh, that is- I am not going to yell at you, you sound like a child-”

“You’re yelling at me now, Dennis.”

“Because you’re being absurd!”

It’s silent again.

Can’t you see we did the best we could?

Mac clicks his tongue.

“See, this is what I was talking about,” he sighs in defeat.

Dennis is not going to apologize. No way in hell is he going to apologize. He isn’t even going to pretend to- Mac is acting absolutely ridiculous.

“Sorry, but you left for like a year,” Mac continues to rant, loud enough to drown out the stereo. “All I’m trying to do is go out on one date!”

Dennis comes to a sudden halt at a stoplight, hoping Mac’s seatbelt locks and snaps against his collar. It’s what he deserves for starting this purposeless argument.

“I didn’t make you drive me to North Dakota,” he levels, voice devoid of any tone whatsoever, and raises an eyebrow.

“Okay, yeah, but I’m doing this for you!”

Oh, what in the hell is that supposed to mean? Is he meant to get down on his knees and thank him for the opportunity to be his chauffeur?

“I didn’t want you not to have the car tomorrow morning if I end up…”

Someone behind them honks, even though the light’s been green less than a second. Normally, Dennis would spin around and memorize such a rude man’s face to seek reprisal, but he doesn’t have the time nor the energy at the moment. Instead, he merely hits the gas and takes the next corner.

“And what if you don’t? You expect me to come back out here at god knows what hour of the night to pick you back up? Like some sort of schoolchild? As if it would be beneath you to take a goddamn taxi?”

Mac is broke, he’s always broke, Dennis knows that. He knows that because all of their money was in the same place for years, and it was all Dennis’, and then he was a ghost and Mac was left to pay the bills alone.

But he seems to have spent the past year getting himself together, supposedly enough to save his money and actually spend it on something other than ironic shirts and scratch-offs and dangerous schemes with Charlie and shopping on the dark web. He’s gotten himself together enough that he really doesn’t need Dennis for anything…

And that’s terrifying.

Oh, it cuts like a knife…

“Fine, then don’t pick me up.” Mac throws his hands in the air in an act of surrender. “I’ll figure it out myself.”

Dennis��� fingernails dig into the steering wheel, and he tosses some words around in his head, feels them out, because he needs to say something and it needs to be convincing, and goddamn it, he’s going to say something because-

“You should get over. It’s coming up.”

He wonders what would happen if he didn’t hit the turn signal, if he missed the stop by accident, if he just kept on driving. He wonders if the door would still be open.

When he looks over to check the flow of traffic in the turn lane, he catches a glimpse of Mac’s face. It’s only been a year, but he looks a lot older than Dennis remembers. He looks less energetic, less happy, less carefree. He supposes they both do.

It’s like there’s a weight on them now. Mac is out of the closet, and suddenly it’s not just fun and games and casual touching and almost kisses and laughter and late nights and sharing beers and crafting fake marriage schemes and pretending it all means nothing. They can no longer fall into the safety net of denial. Everything means something now, and that makes Dennis want to say and do nothing at all, because every word and every touch is a glass one drop from spilling over into something for which he isn’t ready.

But Mac was supposed to wait.

There’s no more time for him to wait, though, because they’re at his stop.

“Thanks,” Mac mutters under his breath before kicking his door open.

He’s angry now, but he isn’t going to do anything about it, because Dennis did him a favor by driving him here. That’s how Mac is. Even when he’s bursting at the seams with rage or excitement or something else entirely, he chokes his emotions down for the sake of their friendship. Dennis is usually apt at keeping things in, too, but tonight it feels like bile is rising in the back of his throat.

Mac’s feet hit the pavement and he tugs his jacket sleeves over his wrists, bracing against the cold air. He turns to close the passenger side door, but before it shuts, Dennis reaches an arm out. His knuckles just barely graze Mac’s shoulder.

“Mac, wait…”

Mac doesn’t answer, but he doesn’t walk away, either. He simply stands there, staring like a fish, eyebrows curved and lips tense, like he might go if Dennis tells him to go, but he might stay if Dennis asks him to stay.

He doesn’t ask him to stay.

“I’ll pick you up later, okay?” he offers, their eyes finally meeting dead on. He hopes Mac will know what he means by it, to save him from having to admit to anything aloud.

Mac swallows, contemplating, and for a moment, Dennis thinks he may respond with an ‘I’ll let you know’.

“Okay,” he says instead.

Dennis wonders what Mac might say if he tells him he’s ready, tells him he doesn’t have to wait anymore, tells him he doesn’t even need to go meet this guy because there doesn’t need to be another guy.

He doesn’t say any of that, either.

“I’ll… rent a movie,” he mumbles, “and you can tell me about your date.”

“Okay.”

Mac nods softly, looking at Dennis like he could say anything in the world and he would still reply ‘okay’.

'Stay with me.’

'Okay.’

'Don’t go on any more dates.’

'Okay.’

'Wait for me.’

'Okay.’

“Text me,” is all that ends up leaving Dennis’ mouth.

“Okay.” Mac closes the car door.

Then he’s stuffing his hands in his coat pockets, spinning on his heel, and making his way into the restaurant. Then he’s gone.

And the door is really shut.

All that’s left is the music. All that’s left is Bryan Adams still singing to him like he knows him and sees exactly what the fuck is going on and just how fucking pathetic he looks right now.

Oh, it cuts like a knife…

“Yeah,” Dennis says to himself, as he turns forward and pulls back onto the road. “It sure does, buddy.”

[rpf-bat]

Get Off The Dance Floor

Pairing: Frank Iero x Reader

Genre: Drama, Hurt/Comfort

Summary: Sequel to Dance Alone To The Tune Of Your Death (x ). Being in the “Helena” video, got your dancing more attention than you ever thought possible. But, with fame, comes haters. When a nasty rumor starts going around your dance school, can Frank help you stand up to the naysayers?

You got an unexpected call as you were walking to class.

“Hi, this Craig, from Reprise Records,” said an unfamiliar voice on the other end of the line.

Reprise? You blinked. That was the label that represented your boyfriend’s band, My Chemical Romance.

It had been a couple months, since you’d danced in their music video, “Helena”. The video had gotten an insane amount of views on YouTube. You couldn’t believe that you had been part of something, that had become so wildly popular. People still called your college radio station to request the song all the time.

But it’s not like I composed the melody or the lyrics or anything, you thought to yourself. That was all Frank, and his friends.

The craziest thing that had come out of the video shoot, was that Frank had started a relationship with you. But, you had only gotten to go on a couple dates with your new boyfriend, before you had to say goodbye. He and the boys had started another Warped Tour in June, and they would be on the road until late August.

I miss him, you thought. I know he calls me all the time, and tells me that he misses me, too, but it’s not the same. I can’t wait until he comes home.

“Hello?” the Reprise rep said, bringing you back to reality. “Y/N, are you there?”

“Yes!” you blinked. “Sorry, yes, I can hear you, Craig!”

“Great,” the A & R chuckled. “Listen, I was calling because we really loved the work you did with ‘Helena’. We represent several bands. Green Day and The Used, for instance, both have music videos coming out this August.”

“Oh, do they?” you replied uncertainly.

“We were wondering if you might be interested in dancing in some more videos for us,” Craig explained.

You gasped. They wanted you?!

Frank was the one who had asked you to be in his video - but, that was because you were childhood friends. These other bands had never met you - why would they want to work with some random girl, who hadn’t even graduated from dance school yet?

“Uhhh,” you stammered, “uh, where would the videos be filmed?”

“Los Angeles, of course,” Craig replied.

“I live in New Jersey,” you protested. “I’m actually attending Rutgers University right now, so…”

“We’ll fly you out,” Craig offered. “We’ll pay for it.”

They really wanted to work with you that badly? You couldn’t believe it.

“Think it over,” Craig suggested. “And get back to us...ok, Y/N?”

“Ok,” you managed, and disconnected the call. You felt like bouncing up and down. A major label was interested in giving you roles!

But, you had to pass ballet class first. You took a deep breath as you ascended the steps of the fine arts building. Your dance studio was on the second floor. You needed to hurry, if you were going to make it to class on time.

You stopped when you heard two girls at the top of the stairs, talking about you.

“....I saw Frank visit her at the dorms, right when summer session started,” the first girl whispered.

“Frank Iero?” the second girl muttered.

“Yeah! The MCR guy!” the first girl nodded. “I’m not really into their music, but they’ve been on TV a lot lately.”

“Right,” the second girl agreed. “I’m Not Okay is so overplayed right now. I’m so sick of hearing it on the radio.”

“Ugh, I know,” the first girl rolled her eyes. “But, listen. I swear, Frank was, like, hardcore making out with Y/N.”

You blushed, remembering the way he’d kissed you, not caring who saw him. But, your blood went cold, when you heard what the girl said next.

“I have no idea what a famous guy like that sees in her,” the girl scoffed. “She’s not even that pretty.”

“Yeah,” the second girl smirked viciously. “I bet he only let her be in that music video, because they were fucking.”

“Of course she got the role with her connections!” the first girl accused. “She’s not that good at dancing, so clearly she’s decided to just sleep her way to the top. What a whore.”

Tears filled your eyes as you heard these cruel words. Screw class, you thought, and took off running in the other direction.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

You sat down on the steps outside your dorm building, and wiped the tears from your cheeks. Your eyeliner was ruined.

This isn’t fair, you thought. You remembered when Frank used to sit out here with you, smoking cigarettes and talking about the music he wanted to make someday.

And then one day he’d sat here and told you, that his band was going on tour.

Just a short one, he’d said. And then I’ll be right back here, in classes with you, like usual.

But then, MCR had been invited to go on another tour. And another, and another…..and then one day, Frank had told you that he was dropping out of Rutgers altogether. He wasn’t coming back.

But, I was happy for him, you recalled. Getting signed to a major label was amazing! All Frankie ever wanted to do was make music. And if he gets to do that with Reprise, and be successful, then I’m glad, that he gets to live his dream.

But, you still missed him. You pulled out your Razr phone. You knew he had a show to play, but, it would make you feel so much better, if you could hear his voice right now.

You were surprised, when he picked up on the second ring.

“Hi, Y/N,” Frank greeted cheerfully. “How are you doing today, babe?”

“I’m….okay,” you sighed, trying not to sound like you’d been crying. “What city are you in tonight, sweetie?”

“Tinley Park, Illinois,” Frank replied.

“I don’t know where that is,” you confessed. You heard Frank laughing.

“Just outside of Chicago,” he explained. “I hadn’t heard of it, either, until the first time we performed here, last year.”

“How is Warped going?” you asked. “Is it easier, the second time around?”

“The crowds are bigger,” Frank compared. “A lot more kids seem to recognize our band now. I’m really psyched that so many of them came to see us.”

“That’s great, Frankie,” you smiled. “I’m really proud of you. I’m not calling at a bad time, am I?”

“No, not at all,” Frank assured you. “We don’t go onstage until later tonight, so I’m just having a beer with the guys.”

“Tell Y/N I said hi!” you heard a slurred voice shout in the background.

“Gerard says hi,” Frank chuckled.

“Hi, Gerard,” you answered. Just hearing their voices, had put a smile on your face.

“But, are you doing alright, Y/N?” Frank sensed. “Is something bothering you?”

“Oh, well….” you hesitated. “I, uh, I got a call today. From your label.”

“From Reprise?” Frank sounded surprised. “What did they have to say?”

“They liked my performance in ‘Helena’,” you explained.

“Well, of course they did,” Frank interrupted. “You did an amazing job, babe. I couldn’t believe how beautiful your dancing was. I was so glad I suggested you for the role. You really took our video to the next level.”

“I...I wasn’t that great,” you frowned uncertainly.

“What are you talking about?” Frank asked, sounding worried.

“They asked if I wanted to dance in more videos,” you went on. “Like, The Used have a new one coming out soon…”

“Oh, The Used are some cool dudes!” Frank grinned. “We were just hanging out with them earlier today. I think you’d have a great time, working with them.”

“I don’t know if I will accept the role, or not,” you confessed.

“Why wouldn’t you?” Frank wondered, confused. “It would be a great opportunity for your career, wouldn’t it?”

“Of course it would,” you acknowledged. “But, Frank….I only got the opportunity to be in ‘Helena’, because I knew you. I know we weren’t dating yet when you asked me to be in the video, but I still got the role because of my connection to you.”

“Connection?” Frank repeated.

“I didn’t earn it,” you said sadly. “I heard two of my classmates talking about me behind my back. They said I’m not that good of a dancer - that I’m only getting good roles, because I’m sleeping with someone famous.”

“Fuck your classmates,” Frank swore angrily. “I asked you to appear in my band’s video, because you are really fucking good at what you do. You did that dance at the church in one take! If you hadn’t done a good job, the director would have hired someone else, and re-shot the scene. But, he didn’t. He liked the way you danced. We all did.”

“Y/N’s dancin’ is fuckin’ amazing,” you heard Gerard slur in the background.

“Thank you,” you said, feeling a bit better. You needed to work on your self-confidence.

“I may have gotten you in the door,” Frank admitted, “but it’s what you did, once you crossed that doorstep, that mattered. You danced like an angel. You made me fall in love with you. You showed everyone how talented you really are - and if they notice that, and want to give you more opportunities to show off your talents? Take it!”

“You’re right,” you realized. “I’m going to call Craig back, and tell him I’m interested in the role.”

“Hell yeah,” Frank grinned. “I’m so proud of you, babe. You’re gonna knock ‘em dead.”

“I’m proud of you, too, Frankie,” you smiled softly. “Good luck at your show tonight. Play your hardest!”

“You know I always do,” Frank said happily. “Ah, but I can’t wait to get back in your arms. I’ll call you again tomorrow, ok?”

“Ok,” you beamed. “I love you.”

“Love you, too, Y/N,” Frank said gently, before hanging up.

You clicked your phone shut. Talking to him had turned your whole day around.

I do deserve that role, you told yourself. My Frankie is out there living his wildest dreams - and so will I!

Together, you knew the two of you could accomplish anything.

[elizascharlesdanceblog]

CD - A Remarkable Man

Charles Dance on making Godzilla: 'The catering was sensational!'

Ryan Gilbey

Freed from Game of Thrones and waging eco-terror in the new monster flick, cinema’s go-to bad aristo talks about turning down 007 and paparazzi ambushes.

Charles Dance is 15 minutes late. “London, yer know?” says the 72-year-old actor through a mouthful of pastry. His friends call him “Charlie” and Americans call him “Chuck”, though for his mother there was never any ambiguity. “‘His name’s Charles,’ she’d say. She ’ad a few ideas above ’er station.” The voice is rougher and more gor-blimey than the one to which audiences are accustomed, as well as friendlier and less imposing. His thinning hair, formerly red and now sand-coloured, is swept back, and he is wearing a blue short-sleeved shirt over a white T-shirt. The silver bracelet halfway up his forearm could pass for memorabilia from Game of Thrones, in which he played Tywin Lannister, shot by his own son with a crossbow while on the loo.

Any confusion between the upper-class roles in which Dance has specialised throughout his 35-year film and television career, and the man he really is – the working-class son of a mother who was in service from the age of 13 – was cleared up long ago. But that hasn’t stopped him playing commanders and archbishops, monsignors and monarchs. He will soon be seen in the third series of The Crown as Lord Mountbatten, while in the new blockbuster Godzilla: King of the Monsters he reprises the aristocratic menace routine that has kept him in fancy silver clasps since the days of starring opposite Eddie Murphy in The Golden Child and Arnold Schwarzenegger in Last Action Hero.

Godzilla takes place mostly in darkened rooms or during inclement weather. Major characters drift through the film, their storylines petering out arbitrarily. I couldn’t make head nor scaly tail of it. And Dance? “I had difficulty staying awake,” he jokes, as though imitating an old duffer who’s wandered into a multiplex by mistake. Then he reverts to normal volume: “No, I didn’t say that! I mean, it’s spectacular.” He plays a former British colonel turned eco-terrorist who has a vested interest in facilitating Godzilla’s reign. Before he says a word in the film, he has already shot someone in the head and is thereafter restricted to the odd line and the occasional scowl. Was his performance cut? His laugh is booming and good-natured. “I keep hearing that! ‘I wish there was more of you.’ It’s what was offered. I just like working. Unless it’s complete and utter crap. I’ve got somepride.” There were clear compensations in this case. “The catering was sensational,” he says.

And, as he points out, it has been a while since he did a mega-budget movie. After all, Godzilla couldn’t be more different from Happy New Year, Colin Burstead, Ben Wheatley’s family-get-together film for the BBC in which he played the cross-dressing widower Uncle Bertie without a hint of camp. “Ten days we shot that in. Handheld cameras, communal green room. SAS film-making.” The character’s sartorial preferences were Dance’s idea. “I told Ben: ‘Ever since his wife died, I think Bertie’s worn women’s clothes. He’s been doing it so long, the family accept it.’ He turns up in his modestly heeled shoes and a bit of cashmere, his twin set and pearls.”

I remind him that the role marked his third foray into women’s fashion. “Riiiight,” he says suspiciously. Well, there was Ali G Indahouse, in which he writhed around at Sacha Baron Cohen’s behest in a red rubber micro skirt, thigh-high leather boots, leopardskin crop-top and drop earrings. He rolls his eyes. “Ah yes. The director said: ‘We’ve had an idea for the ending.’ I was kind of forced into that.

”And for one scene in White Mischief, the 1987 drama about the amoral British upper-class in Kenya during the second world war, the toffs interrupt their routine of polo and wife-swapping for a cross-dressing party. “Joss Ackland was there in bombazine and a tiara. I had on a mid-blue chiffon affair. Then Greta Scacchi comes out looking gob-smackingly gorgeous in this jacket with nothing underneath. Joss said, ‘This is all wrong. We should be going to each other’s wardrobe and just putting on whatever fits.’ He stormed off to complain to the director and I went with him. There’s Joss with his handbag on his arm, me standing there in me gear. I thought, ‘Here we are, expecting to be taken seriously …’

”White Mischief was pivotal for him, cementing his image as a sexy but faintly cold-blooded member of the ruling class. The ITV end-of-the-Raj drama The Jewel in the Crown had already made him a sensation three years earlier. The Sun called him “Dishy Dance” and the People claimed he had given up jogging because of the women flinging themselves under his running shoes on Hampstead Heath. Not that he was in danger of having his head turned – he had been “shlepping around the provinces” in theatre for nearly a decade before that big break, which didn’t happen until his late 30s.

And he was married with two children, so the tabloids weren’t interested in his love life until he split from his wife in 2004 and began dating much younger women. (He had a daughter with one of them, Eleanor Boorman, seven years ago.) Getting tailed by photographers in his 50s and 60s was no fun. “I was going to a shrink for a while and I got papped coming out of there. Pain in the arse. Lowest of the low.”

He was more prepared for the fuss over Jewel than he would have been if he had played James Bond, a part he was invited to test for – and refused – in 1986. “I think I’d have fucked it up. It might’ve gone to my head a bit. When Jewel happened, you couldn’t open a paper without reading about me. I was ‘the thinking woman’s crumpet’. But Bond would’ve been much bigger. I might’ve blown it.” He’s been eyeing the names currently in the frame. “Young Richard Madden is pretty good. Or James Norton. I think Daniel’s been fantastic. What he lacks in the wit of Roger Moore he makes up for in a sense of danger.”

Walking on set on his first day, he wore a T-shirt that read: 'I’m Cheaper Than Alan Rickman'

Without the slightest prompting, he identifies White Mischief as the fork in the road: the moment when he could have pushed his career to the next level, but didn’t. It was in 1988 that Michael Caine said: “Charles Dance is the one. Why? Because he wants it.” Caine approached him in a restaurant: “He told me, ‘I’ve got money on you. Don’t let me down.’ I thought: ‘Fucking hell, that’s nice.’” But Dance himself isn’t sure he ever really did want it – whatever “it” was. “Maybe if I’d had more cardinal ambition. I mean, I’m ambitious, but I don’t tread over people. And sometimes I just don’t feel like it. I thought: ‘No, I don’t want to go off to LA and sit in endless bloody meetings. If it’s meant to be, it’ll be.’ I’m a bit like that.

”Then there was the competition. “Jeremy Irons was, and still is, a few feet ahead of me. Who else? Alan Rickman, bless him.” The shallowness of the casting pool was vividly brought home when he received the script for Last Action Hero. “I get to my character’s entrance and it says: ‘The door opens and there stands Alan Rickman.’” Still, he was a good sport about it. Walking on set on his first day, Dance wore a T-shirt that read: “I’m Cheaper Than Alan Rickman.”

It has been a career with obvious highlights: he was the only person to sleep with Ripley in the Alien series (in David Fincher’s Alien 3), played the director DW Griffith for the Taviani brothers in Good Morning, Babylon, and was part of the flawless ensemble in Gosford Park. On the other hand, he was in the medieval stoner romp Your Highness and was recently seen licking Luke Evans with a long, leathery grey tongue in Dracula Untold. He has done Celebrity Antiques Road Trip and Who Do You Think You Are?, where he met the South African great-niece and the three great-great-nephews he never knew he had. He read solemnly from Fifty Shades of Grey and Mel B’s autobiography on The Big Fat Quiz of the Year to much comic effect, and is in the forthcoming Kingsman prequel.

But a significant part of his acting range is currently being neglected. When I asked earlier why he hadn’t yet written an autobiography, his response was humorously gruff: “Who wants to read another book by an actor?” The question of what is missing from the scripts he gets offered prompts an altogether gentler, more ruminative answer. “I’d like to properly front something,” he says softly, his hearty manner replaced by a note of introspection. “If anyone was brave enough to do a remake of Death in Venice, that would be ideal. I notice I tend to be brought in to give a bit of weight to something, you know? Maybe I should be more choosy. I’d just like to be fronting things a bit more than I am.”

source: TheGuardian

[toomanytentacles]

JON BON BRADY, an essay

This is the text of the recorded essay presented by Elbee Bargeron on Episode 43 of the Splathouse Podcast. Click below to hear the episode https://soundcloud.com/user-616846084/splathouse43-double-feature-suburban-commando-1991-the-brady-bunch-movie-1995

Has anyone given much thought to actor Jack Noseworthy lately? Back in the 90s, he was kinda a big deal breaking out in a starring role on MTV’s teen sci-fi series DEAD AT 21 — but what many critics can agree on is there was another role that solidified him as a bonafide movie star: his turn as angry grunge rocker Eric Dittmeyer in 1995’s THE BRADY BUNCH MOVIE. It was a role that, to some, may seem static or insignificant, but in reality, directly led him to probably the most noteworthy Noseworthy appearance of the decade. So, as much of a cinematic masterpiece as THE BRADY BUNCH MOVIE so obviously is, we don't dare stop there. Because within the same year, Jack actually reprised the role with a sinister twist in the most unlikely of places, the music video for Bon Jovi’s single, “Always.”

Caution: all of what I’m about to tell you is true.

Now we all know the story of Bon Jovi — after the success of two studio albums and extensive touring, the boys found themselves fatigued by being so beloved by everyone all over the world, and took a bit of a hiatus in the late 1980s — only to come back triumphantly a few years later with newsworthy short haircuts and a much more “mature” sound — and acting as inspiration for MTV’s “Unplugged” series along the way. They released one more studio album followed by a greatest hits record which featured a lot of their hits and a new single they would soon call a hit, the song “Always.”

Jon Bon Jovi knew he had a hit song on his hands with “Always,” and as such, knew he needed a hit music video to go along with it. He wanted something...edgy. Hot. And Sexy. Jon conceived a video so steamy that his band mates cautioned against it. After all, MTV had previously banned their video “Living in Sin” for being too explicit. But, Jon argued, after he basically invented the highly successful “Unplugged” for MTV, they pretty much were obligated to show anything he wanted, and production went forward.

So Jon was a big fan of The Brady Bunch, and you can read all about that in his memoir ROCKY ROAD: THE JON BON JOVI STORY AS TOLD BY ME, JON BON JOVI that I’ve so kindly provided for you in the footnotes (footnotes have been lost). So when THE BRADY BUNCH MOVIE debuted, Jon was taken aback. He, like everyone else who saw the film, became immediately enamored with it, and recognized the brilliance of its one true star, the incomparable Jack Noseworthy. Jon saw a bit of himself in the character of Eric Dittmeyer, and thought him a perfect fit for the message he was trying to convey with “Always” — that love is passionate and violent, and the crazy things we do for it could potentially haunt us. Essentially, this was the logical progression of the character — Jon knew this, and now he wanted the rest of us to know it.

The premise of the “Always” music video is cut and dry. Our bad boy hero Noseworthy aka Dittmeyer is sulking alone in his room remembering a lost love. He holds a photograph of her in his hands, and we can see from his forlorn gaze that he is heartbroken. But -- there’s more to it than that. The nuance displayed in the first 25 seconds of this video is crucial; not only is Dittmeyer sad, he seems stricken by grief -- a grief that is possibly (probably) brought on by guilt. We’re transported from his bedroom to his memories, starting with the day the photo was taken.

At this point, we would be remiss to mention the rest of the now legendary cast featured in this now legendary music video. Carla Gugino, fresh from her role in a film as equally great and universally adored as THE BRADY BUNCH MOVIE, the Pauly Shore vehicle SON IN LAW, plays Dittmeyer’s girlfriend; and newcomer Keri Russell -- who up until this time had only been cast as adolescent girls in projects like HONEY I BLEW UP THE KIDS and BOY MEETS WORLD, and who was looking for a way to break out into more sophisticated entertainment -- is Carla’s roommate. Rounding out the cast is indie darling Jason Wiles, who -- hipsters, take note -- also starred in projects by both Robert Rodriguez and Noah Baumbach during this time, making him the perfect choice for Dittmeyer’s baby-faced rival. Clearly, Jon Bon Jovi’s casting choices were -- as many critics agreed -- inspired.

But, back to the video. Here we are in Dittmeyer’s memories, reminded of what a rebel he is as we see he and Carla making out in his classic Oldsmobile 88 convertible while speeding away into oncoming traffic. Both of them fit the cliche of “young and free,” a love that makes everything else in the world irrelevant. But a love so hot can burn out fast, so we know we must be in for a tumultuous ride with this couple. Dittmeyer enjoys photographing his girlfriend, but what he really loves is taking video of her. Carla is an attractive and empowered young woman, so she has no problems dancing and acting sexy for her boyfriend, and no doubt does she find this kind of play enticing. They fall into bed together with the video camera still recording -- a fact cleverly made apparent to us with a full zoom to the camera lens sitting idle on the arm of a chair.

The story progresses quickly as we are now treated to a memory of the couple attending a rave party together, both of them dressed in scandalous outfits and moussed hair; they get down and dirty with each other on the dancefloor, and when they return home -- still fueled by the drugs they have undoubtedly consumed -- they unknowingly awaken Keri who had fallen asleep on the couch. The couple retreat to Carla’s bedroom as Keri stretches and flips on the television. And here’s where Bon Jovi decided to make it interesting: Dittmeyer’s video camera, still running, is connected to the living room TV. So when Keri sleepily turns on the television, she is shocked fully awake as she sees her roommate initiate sloppy sex with her boyfriend.

We can pause for a moment and reflect a bit more about Jon Bon Jovi’s vision for Eric Dittmeyer. According to his memoir ROCKY ROAD THE STORY OF JON BON JOVI AS TOLD BY ME JON BON JOVI, Jon knew Dittmeyer was a sleaze, and wanted to echo that in this video. We noted before that Jon had seen a bit of himself in the character, which means that Jon definitely had some demons he needed to deal with. Dittmeyer, as it turns out, had been, and seemingly always would be a two-timer. We can support this with the following evidence: Dittmeyer didn’t “accidentally” leave his video camera running. There had always been sexual tension between he and Keri --  we know Dittmeyer’s type has to be women with long curly hair, proven by his interest in Marissa Ribisi’s character in THE BRADY BUNCH MOVIE, so no doubt could he resist the allure of Keri “soon-to-be Felicity” Russell. He knew that if Keri saw how great he was in bed with Carla that she wouldn’t be able to turn down a future tryst with him. And ya know, it worked.

Carla is outraged when she returns from the grocery store and sees a live display of the two of them canoodling, again, on the living room TV. She throws the bag of groceries at them in the bedroom and runs out, leaving the apartment and running down the street. Enter Jason, an artist friend of theirs -- and just maybe one of Carla’s old flames -- who sees her on the street and invites her up to his loft. He has her pose for a painting, they both remove their shirts, and we cut to the next morning when Carla wakes up alone in his bed. She’s feeling guilty and calls Dittmeyer to pick her up, but when he arrives all hell breaks loose when he realizes she’s slept with Jason: he throws a tantrum of gigantic proportion, throwing furniture and destroying the painting, but the worst is still yet to come. Carla tells him, effectively, to talk to her hand, and tries to leave the building. But Dittmeyer has already tritely made up his mind that if he can’t have her no one will, and uses what we can only assume is paint thinner to set off a fiery explosion that kills Carla but he’s able to walk away from entirely unscathed.

We now leave Dittmeyer’s memories and return to the beginning of the video where he is staring at Carla’s photograph. He’s missing her greatly, and his guilt manifests as he hallucinates her standing in his doorway. He reaches to her but she fades away, a literal ghost that lives only in his mind.

Jon Bon Jovi married his high school sweetheart Dorothea in 1989, and although they share a love that won’t ever die, we can’t help but wonder who Jon modeled this destructive love story after. Why would Jon feel such a connection to a sleaze like Eric Dittmeyer? Frankly, it’s a love tryst with himself. Jon laid out an entire chapter in his memoir ROCKY ROAD THE JON BON JOVI STORY AS TOLD BY ME JON BON JOVI on how he had been secretly obsessed with Shakespearean tragedy in his youth, but had to cover that with a tuff persona to remain cool to his New Jersey heavy metal friends. He loved those tragic characters because they had flaws, and he respected them for that. So, along came THE BRADY BUNCH MOVIE -- a Shakespearean tragedy in its own right -- and the character of Dittmeyer spoke to him on a whole other level. He was a rocker, just like him. He drove a convertible and had a bad attitude, just like him. He was into girls with long curly hair, definitely just like him. And Jon felt none of his Jersey friends ever understood him or his passion for art and culture, just as Dittmeyer’s friends never fully understood him.

When Jon asked Jack Noseworthy to meet with him about the role, he was nervous and excited. He didn’t want to let on how much he needed Jack to be this character again, to act out his own youthful grief and regret using Jack as a surrogate. Jon wanted validation after so many years hiding his love for high art beneath tight pants, superfluous scarves, and feathered locks -- and besides, he had already hinted at a more sensitive side of himself when originating the intimate acoustic concert series “Unplugged” for MTV all on his own and by the way, gave it away for free -- so when Noseworthy agreed to reprise this character, Jon was ecstatic. They conceptualized the character together -- it was actually Jack who came up with the idea for Dittmeyer to destroy Jason’s painting of Carla, a symbol of Jon’s regret of hiding all of his delicate emotions from his more macho friends. It was, in a word, cathartic.

So, thanks to forgotten actor Jack Noseworthy, THE BRADY BUNCH MOVIE, and the video for “Always,” Jon Bon Jovi was finally given the intellectual credit he always wanted and deserved. Rest in peace, Jon. We’ll always love you, forever and a day.

[gardenglowswithdesign]

I was getting ready to post a rant that I wrote titled: How long held hostage? Then I stopped and thought about it. I have been through all kinds of bad stuff. I have friends that have been through similar things. That’s just what life is all about, I think. Yes, we can stand up and fight against some of the things we don’t agree with – sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. But if the Zombie apocalypse happened tomorrow, who would you want to be with? Yes, I know you are thinking – WHAT DID I JUST SAY; but hang with me here. I do have a method to my madness.

I don’t plan out my blog posts. I jot down little ideas that I have while running about (I carry a little notebook with me everywhere I go), but I never know what I want to say until I start at it. The first post, How long held hostage, was about trying to define (mainly in my own head) exactly what our government is doing to us. I used the help of Merriam-Webster.com for the following:

Bully: Definition of bully 1a : a blustering, browbeating person especially: one who is habitually cruel, insulting, or threatening to others who are weaker, smaller, or in some way vulnerable tormented by the neighborhood bully  Extortion: Definition of extortion 1: the act or practice of extorting especially money or other property especially : the offense committed by an official engaging in such practice Terrorist: Definition of terrorism           1 : an advocate or practitioner of terrorism as a means of coercion Coercion: Definition of coercion 1 : the act, process, or power of coercing They used coercion to obtain the confession. (this didn’t give me much of an answer so I read on…) Legal Definition of coercion 2 : the use of express or implied threats of violence or reprisal (as discharge from employment) or other intimidating behavior that puts a person in immediate fear of the consequences in order to compel that person to act against his or her will

I was traveling that road because I have friends, family, people that I love and care about that are hurting right now due to the stupid (yes, I said stupid, and I mean it) Government Shutdown. I used to work for our government, and I know first-hand how the decisions they make from their ivory tower can inflict severe damage. Several regulations they passed from their thrones, were shuffled down to our level and then we were expected to implement them. They had no clue what it actually took to do said act. They also didn’t see the “bigger picture” of what happens when you make those kinds of decisions on We The People. All of that story just kept making me more upset, more angry, and feeling more out-of-control. So I stopped and slept on it, then I came up with an epiphany.

What if the zombie apocalypse happened tomorrow?

I just picked zombie because I am hooked on The Walking Dead show. I don’t watch for the gore (some of it is just too graphic), I watch for the creator’s rendition of the human condition involved in a story of that type. So, what if the world went to hell tomorrow? I’m not talking about complete annihilation but something severe. I watched a series called Revolution (there were only two seasons) which examined the possible human condition if all the electricity suddenly stopped. Could you imagine?

• No cel phones, • no heat, • no cars, • no internet, • no anything that needed electricity to run.

One last example that strikes a chord with me is Day After Tomorrow. Yes, I am a big Dennis Quaid fan, but I love the concept of the movie.

The whole epiphany for me was this:

Who would I choose to have in my group to survive?

It all boiled down to one simple truth for me. A person CAN choose who they want to be around – even family can be disowned. I have the family I have, the friends and loved ones that I have not because of money, power, fame or anything else so petty. I have these people in my life because they either:

• Have things in common with me. • Make me laugh. • I can trust them. • We can share thoughts and ideas.

I didn’t realize until I started writing the other post how important the last one is. I may not always see eye-to-eye with someone in my circle. We may have arguments or heated discussions about a subject. The key is that no matter what is said, what is thought, or what is felt; at the end of the day they are still a part of my circle. So if the world went to hell tomorrow, my circle is who I would want around me. They are a farmer, gardeners, retirees, Government workers, military, police, firemen/women, Social Service workers, plumbers, electricians you name it; we have a walk-of-life in it. They are part of my circle because we value and respect each other. We can have a difference of opinion, but we would never turn on each other over it.

Before our fire of 2014, I worked for the government for over eleven years. I became extremely bitter by the end of my employment with them. The job left me feeling that people, in general, were all users. They will suck you dry of life, love, and laughter if you let them. I held many different jobs before that one, but never did I have such a low and bitter view of humans until that job. The fire brought me back to reality. People are good. They are caring, compassionate, warm, funny, loving, loyal, and thoughtful. I realized in my epiphany that the government made me feel like my hands were tied all the time. I used to call Congress, send letters, I even got through to someone once who listened; but nothing ever changed. The only thing I have in life is my circle of people. These are the ones to hold close, protect, defend, laugh, cry, and grow with. This is the way changes happen when we hold tight to each other and stand together as one. The bottom line for this post is I hate that the government is holding us, hostage, to get what they want. It is our (very) hard earned tax dollars that secure us – not a wall, not regulations, or Congress, or even by a President – but by We The People holding strong to one-another. Everything shitty that has happened in my life was overcome with the help of my circle of friends, family, and loved ones. I could never have made it past age eighteen if I didn’t have all of them for support. THANK YOU ALL!

You can also check me out at: www.helbergfarmstories.com for fun stories from our farm.

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Who Would Be In Your Circle? I was getting ready to post a rant that I wrote titled: How long held hostage?

[khremixed]

Part 13:  From Hell’s Heart I Stab at Thee

We’ve waited long and hard for this people and we are finally here.  The world where we finally, finally get high jump.

Also there is some shit about Pinocchio and Riku does unambiguously evil shit and the nature of the soul is discussed.  So let’s do this!

Before we get there, though, we need to go back to Traverse Town and actually meet Pinocchio.  Once you get the green trinity and can unlock the moogle shop, head to the Accessory Shop.  Pinocchio is chilling on the ground and talking to him unlocks a cutscene.  Jiminy and Pinocchio have a whole conversation about lying.  Both of them seem to have assumed that Geppetto was with the other.  

With that out of the way, try to fly somewhere on the right side of the map past Agrabah.  Unfortunately we aren’t getting there anytime soon, because right the fuck out of nowhere Monstro comes and swallows the gummi ship.  (Also, in my most recent play through, I realized I’d never met Pinocchio after Agrabah and I decided to just go back to my last save to meet him, only to find I never saved following beating Jafar and had to go through those fights again.  Whoops!)

This leads into a flashback I’m pretty sure is a Final Mix addition with Sora and Riku when they were roughly five and six respectively.  Sora tries to convince Riku that there is a monster in the secret place on Destiny Islands, but the exploration there shows it was just the wind howling through the hole in the roof of the cave. One thing I noticed is that the walls don’t have all the graffiti on them, so I guess my assumption that generations of kids were drawing there was wrong.  Riku notices the very obvious door, but since it won’t open, he quickly deems it boring.  Riku then makes Sora promise that when they are older, they are going to leave the Destiny Islands and go exploring places that aren’t so dull.  That’s cool with Sora, but for now they are going to have to settle for going to see the new girl at the mayor’s house.

Sora wakes up inside the mouth of the whale and it is clear that the whale has been swallowing a lot of ships, but they are all wooden.  Who the fuck is using wooden ships to fly around space?  Like, that can’t be airtight?  I mean, I guess this universe has an atmosphere in outer space because that’s the only way Monstro makes sense.  Probably is oxygen rich too, judging by his size.

Anyway, Donald and Goofy are pissed because someone keeps throwing items at them from on top of a woodpile, and wouldn’t you know, it’s Pinocchio!  This is somewhat worrying because he was last seen in Traverse Town.  Pinocchio grabs a thing and heads back to the only intact boat in the whale’s mouth.

When you catch up to Pinocchio, Sora asked how he got there.  GOOD FUCKING QUESTION.  We never get an answer, by the way.  Geppetto introduces himself as Pinocchio’s father instead.  

Gepetto apparently never bothered to instill his child with a fear of strangers, because Pinocchio goes wandering off after Riku.  How long does everyone think Pinocchio is going to last as a real boy before he gets himself killed through negligence?  Yeah Blue Fairy, giving him a sense of honesty was a way more important priority that teaching the kid common sense.

It’s pretty gross that this level is the literal belly of a whale.  Walking around makes all these little squishing noises.  But it does mean I’m singing the Decemberists to myself the whole time.  I also wish the heartless in here were more themed after bacteria like the boss.  I’ve never gotten the ghosts either here or in Atlantica.  Never.

A bigger issue with the level design is that all of the chambers basically look the same and they all seem to cross back into each other.  It makes navigating around confusing as all hell.  There are also sections that are easy to fall off and you have to start completely over.  

Anyway, you run after Pinocchio.  Sora tells the puppet that now is not the time to be playing games, but a voice behind says “But I thought you liked playing games, Sora.”  Riku follows up with asking if maybe Sora’s too cool for that now that he’s the keyblade wielder.  Riku grabs Pinocchio and drags him off.  

After going through the awful maze that is the inside of Monstro, Sora and co. manage to catch up.  Before they do, we do get a little scene with Riku and Maleficent.  She wants to know if he still cares about Sora.  Riku brushes that off, saying he’s just messing with his ex-bff, and Maleficent gives some of her usual “beware the darkness in your heart” advice, which Riku does not appreciate.  When Sora gets there, we get a fight.  Sora wants to know what’s up with Riku and Riku retorts that all Sora seems to do now is “run around and show off that keyblade”.  He frames it as “Do you even want to save Kairi?”  Their fight is derailed by Pinocchio screaming in the next room.

Heading to the bowels (ew), we find that Pinocchio’s managed to get himself trapped by the Parasite Cage.  Riku is more than happy to jump into battle with Sora and company, and for a moment, we get what should have been if Riku hadn’t ended up at Hollow Bastion.  They work well together.  Too bad it won’t last.

Parasite Cage coughs out Pinocchio and Riku immediately follows the pupped down the hole.  When Sora goes to, he finds Geppetto pleading with Riku to return Pinocchio.  Riku refuses.  See he’s there because Pinocchio is a puppet with a heart and he gives us our first hint that Kairi has lost hers.  However, he’s not going to elaborate.

The fight with Parasite Cage disturbed Monstro enough that the water in his mouth has gone down, allowing more areas to be accessed.  Even better, there’s a new chest on Geppetto’s boat that gives us the best gift of all.  Oh high jump, how I’ve missed thee.

Heading to the stomach by way of the throat (again, ew, and also does the internal anatomy of this whale make any sense?) we find Riku and a non-responsive Pinocchio.  Riku hopes that “a puppet that’s lost its heart to the heartless” is the key to saving Kairi.  He tries to convince Sora to join him but Sora isn’t having it.  This isn’t right.  Riku is angered that Sora would choose a puppet over him and Kairi.  Sora’s retort, “Heart or no heart, at least he still has a conscious” is great from both a comeback point of view and also because said conscious runs over to beg Pinocchio to wake up.  For probably the first time, Jiminy is thrilled when Pinocchio lies, saying he isn’t going to make it, so it turns out that Pinocchio is actually totally fine.  Sora and Riku gear up to fight when Parasite Cage shows up again to crash the party.  Riku teleports away and we get a reprise of the previous fight, now with acid!  After killing the Parasite Cage, Sora tries to find Riku, having not seen him leave.

Monstro sneezes you out and everything’s okay!  The team do go “hm, I’m sure Pinocchio and Geppetto are fine” which is kind of a dick move.  I would be way more concerned considering that they are traveling space in a wooden boat.  Which for the record they didn’t even take, it is still in Monstro on subsequent visits.

The last bit we get is Riku and Maleficent on Hook’s ship.  Riku has indeed managed to find Kairi, but her heart is gone.  Maleficent says it was the heartless’s doing and that the only way to find out how to save her is to open the door to Kingdom Hearts with the seven princesses of heart.  I think that this is the first title drop, by the by.  Riku agrees to help, because he’s gone too far down this road to stop now, and Maleficent gives him the power to control the heartless.  This will end well.

I’m torn about how I feel about Monstro.  The level design is, as I said before, terrible.  But storywise, this stuff is great.  The contrast between the technically not alive Pinocchio with a heart and the real girl Kairi without one is fantastic.  Honestly it might be the best use of a Disney character within the first game.  Pinocchio having a heart is also somewhat retroactively foreshadowing for Dream Drop Distance, so put a pin in that.  We will be revisiting this idea.

Riku’s arc also gets a lot of development here.  Earlier I said that I believed Riku is mainly jealous that Sora is special now but I’m revising that theory a bit.  Don’t get me wrong, jealousy is still a big component of this fall to the dark side (especially considering his “too cool now that you’ve got a keyblade” comments), but I think that Riku ultimately is more upset about Sora having new friends than I originally gave him credit for.  Riku strikes me as the kind of person that makes friends with a lot of effort, unlike Sora who is your friend if you are within each other’s general proximity and you aren’t actively evil.  Even worse, while Sora has trusted companions, Riku is surrounded by the villains who he knows better than to trust completely.  I think that Riku is also refusing to acknowledge the jealousy that is going on by convincing himself that Sora really never cared about him or Kairi.  To Riku, he’s the one that’s actually doing something to help her.  And Maleficent is fueling these thoughts for her own gain.  But she hasn’t been totally successful and knows it.  Riku’s attempts to convince Sora to help him at the end are definitely from a place of wanting them to go back to their previous dynamic.  But it’s too late.

Speaking of Maleficent, I honestly couldn’t remember if she already knows that Kairi is one of the princesses of heart or not.  The more I think about it, the more I want to say no, she thinks Wendy is the last one.  Right?  We’ll see, I guess.  

[thornofthevale]

narratives where hope and celebration in the face of tragedy are the whole point my beloved

[theworstbob]

the thing journal, 6.11.2017 - 6.17.2017

capsule reviews of the pop culture i took in last week. this week: venice, witness, 1989, gilded, punch-drunk love, sucker, bloody bloody andrew jackson, gone now, boomiverse, melodrama, before sunrise, pinata, whiplash

1) Venice, by Anderson .Paak: Paak might be really close to Greatest Living Songwriter status. Like, Malibu and Yes Lawd! are both undeniable classics, but this is ALSO so solid, solid enough that I feel like, if we get someone in the room with Paak to say, "Hey, dude, maybe don't put a bad butt pun in this one?" Paak could be running the world. Every second of this album is wonderful. Like, .Paak makes songs that make an indoor kid like me wish he was at the beach, that's like the only thing I can say about this album. .Paak' great. I don't have enough words to describe what makes him great.

2) Witness, by Benjamin Booker: ...So, this is the last thing I'm writing? And this was a nice, bluesy rock album that made a Sunday morning slightly doper. I liked it, it was nice, listen to it if you like nice rock albums.

3) 1989, by Tay Tay: I sure do have a lot to say about this album that wasn't said two and a half years ago! I liked it. The first five songs are as good as any five songs on any album that's ever been, and then the rest of this album... Exists? Like there's no way I'm going to call an album with "Shake it Off" and "Bad Blood" on it a classic, and after hearing Lana del Rey songs I can't get behind the Lana del Rey impression that is "Wildest Dreams," like it was already an enh song but knowing it was ripping off an enh thing gives it a firm "no," but any album with "Style" and "Blank Space" and "Style" deserves plaudits, and the album does pick up with the last two tracks, which are up there with the first five tracks as the best stuff Tay Tay has ever done. End of the day, though, To Pimp a Butterfly still should have won Album of the Year, and if at the end of 2014 Catch-Up 1989 is still in the top ten for 2014 (#9 as I write this), I'd be stunned.

4) Gilded, by Jade Jackson: This? was somehow recommended to me by Amazon because I enjoy the music of Paramore. I cannot claim to have heard the Paramore in this. I heard a pretty decent if slow-moving country album! That was a fun surprise! One of my favorite things about country music in 2017 is how, like, we typically associate rebellion with punk and rap, y'know? Loud music that moves fast and is always shouting. And rebellion in country is sitting with just an acoustic guitar and singing sad songs about small towns. Like, a lot of country music is about what a small town home town dirt road party it is to be in the sticks, so the outlaws have to slow it down and reflect on whether they're truly happy where they are. So like, this album has incredibly little in common with Paramore from a music standpoint, but they share an attitude which has to manifest itself differently because of their respective genres. Basically, I'm incredibly down with this album.

5) Punch-Drunk Love, dir. Paul Thomas Anderson: hey. hey guys. did you guys know about this paul thomas anderson dude. he's pretty great. like, everything about that scene where he asks the woman out, the warehouse collapsing, the calls from the phone sex scammer, his sister haranguing him, the woman not knowing how to respond to this, him clearly not knowing how to handle the situation, the pudding the so much pudding, the score building as everything falls apart, it's so fucking good. i remember, when i was 12, this movie had like two whole shelves at hollywood video, and when my dad and my family were looking at this movie, we were like "we love little nicky! but this might be more serious? and poor innocent caralin," and i just, i wonder what a younger me would have thought about this film. i wonder how i would have reacted to this, if we actually had pulled the trigger on punch-drunk love before i was anywhere near ready to handle it.

6) Sucker, by Charli XCX: hahaha i need to do theme weeks or something like i'm supposed to think about a paul thomas anderson joint and then try to come up with a decent opinion about a fine, just a tich below great pop album. i should've eased myself into this, it should've gone punch drunk love, the kimbra album i added to provide the bridge from film master class to pop, and THEN charli xcx. i mean, i enjoyed this a lot, i had a solid, solid bus ride, but like i just need to structure the sequencing of thing journal better. like, maybe don't put the slap-hitting second baseman after the cleanup hitter, but the jason kubel type in the fifth spot, the chunky dude who kinda sucks at baseball but hits dingers more often than not. gotta think about my lineup, guys!

7) Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson, wr. Michael Friedman: Well, this was good stupid fun. I think "Ten Little Indians" is a standout track, so clear a standout that it honestly belongs in a better work. It's a distillation of Native American history that doesn't seem to have any place in a musical recasting one of the shittiest presidents as a vain, morose emokid rock star, but then again, I listen to soundtracks and don't watch the shows, so fuck do I know about context. So, yeah, I dug "Ten Little Indians," and then everything else was fine and silly and took itself just unseriously that it never felt like American Psycho. Theatre in general isn't a good home for irony, but at least here, the sarcasm wasn't subtle, it was waving a giant flag the whole time saying "THIS IS DEF JOKES."

8) Gone Now, by Bleachers 9) Melodrama, by Lorde See, if I were a decent listener, I might have tried following up Gone Now with Melodrama. These reviews aren't being indexed in chronological order; I listened to Boomiverse before I gave Melodrama a spin, and looking back, I should've saved Gone Now for Friday to do a Jack Antonoff Power Block. I wonder if my opinion on these albums is colored by the interview I read where Jack Antonoff says he originally imagines all his songs for female voices, he writes his songs for women, then pitches them an octace down should they become Bleachers songs. And I found both Strange Desire and Gone Now to not really resonate with me, neither album really hitting me in the way an entity such as Bleachers should hit me. Bleachers is fun, '80s-inspired pop music -- I love that! But there's this weird disconnect I feel between the voice and the music, and I can't tell if that's a conclusion I arrived at on my own or if it was informed by that article, because while I didn't like Gone Now, I really loved Melodrama. Lorde and Antonoff work perfectly together, her voice gives life to a lot of things I heard but wasn't enthralled by on Gone Now, and they had a vision for this album -- songs have part twos! There's a reprise! ("Liability" is DOPE in the context of this album, y'all) -- which they executed sublimely. It's a complete, cohesive album that feels so much bigger than 11 songs, so full of weird ideas, and while I'm not sure how the mainstream is gonna react, I thought this was dope as hell, "dope as hell" being the highest praise my limited vocabulary has to offer.

10) Boomiverse, by Big Boi: One benefit of being just a dude on tumblr chronicling his experiences is that I didn't have to listen to and write a thinkpiece about a 70-minute Lil Yachty album. I only have to experience Lil Yachty through his features on other people's songs, do not have to contend with the totality of his vision. But, it is disappointing that professional music people DO have to write extended thinkpieces about Lil Yachty, when those words and thoughts and energies would have been far better spent on this album. This album is just good. There's no frills, minimal use of the obligatory Atlanta trap beat, clever rhymes, only occasional misogyny, and maybe the most jubilant rap track of 2017, "All Night." I honestly can't remember the last time I heard a hip-hop joint as joyous as "All Night." So much of my favorite hip-hop of the last few years hasn't been happy, and not even the justifiable "shit's fucked up" unhappy, the "sadness is the only valiid emotion" unhappy, and "All Night" is a statement that darkness is nothing without light.

11) Before Sunrise, dir. Richard Linklater: "Hey! I've been up since 1 AM, and it is presently 4:30! I'm going to put on this quet movie about a quiet night in Vienna so I can watch Before Sunrise before sunrise, LOL!" Yeah so I fell asleep during this one, team. Not long enough to feel like I missed a lot, not long enough for this film to lose its impact, but enough to feel like I failed this film. What I was able to see was great. It was like someone shot a podcast in Vienna, and that sounds like an insult, but I'm into movies that are just two people talking to each other, and I'd be into a podcast where two strangers try to fall in love in two hours, two people bullshitting about love and relationships and the future while wondering if they could be happy with the other person outside of the podcast. It didn't feel at all tempered knowing there's a sequel in the queue. Like, knowing these two people see each other again is disappointing, only in the sense that I don't get to live with the ending for 10 years before learning about the sequel, but at the same time, the characters don't know they're going to see each other again, and that last goodbye at the train is so heart-wrenching, the way she disappears behind the wall and the guy just follows her, trying to stay as close to her as possible.

12) Pinata, by Freddie Gibbs & Madlib: I will let nature review this album for me: I live in a garden level apartment, and outside my bedroom window, where I stationed my new computer, there's a bucket beneath the gutter in which water rests. Squirrels will occasionally come through, take a sip, and bounce. But as I was listening to this album, I saw that the squirrel was lingering outside my window. I assumed it was responding well to the vibrations created by Freddie Gibbs' pleasant, deep-voiced flow and the low-key production, and that it was enjoying the things it was feeling. This is music squirrels can enjoy, man, what more do you want. And then a Danny Brown feature came on, and that squirrel RAN, man. Like, I get it? I wouldn't expect a squirrel to respond well to Danny Brown, but I still feel that squirrel is missing out.

13) Whiplash, dir. Damien Chazelle: When I listen to music, I've found I connect to the drumming more than anything but the lyrics. Part of the reason I still listen to pop/punk is because literally every single pop/punk drummer is amazing, drumming so so fast every time. I also watch sports and speedrun streams, and one of the things that fascinates me is the maniacal drive to be great, this obsessive need to push yourself to some limit most would find unnecessary. So of COURSE I'm into a film which would marry the two, and which had the performance of a lifetime from JK Simmons, JK Simmons deserving all the plaudits he got for playing Malcom Tucker's long-lost American twin. I think Miles Teller was cat perfectly for the scenes where he's with JK Simmons, an arrogant nothing-boy who can convey talent and cluelessness, but Miles Teller is such a zero that the scenes with his family and girlfriend, where we're supposed to say "no nice boy don't isolate yourself from your loved ones to drum so good," just felt like "god shut the fuck up you whiny jerk." The film also didn't really address a couple of questions I thought might be relevant to the JK Simmons character. Does music still retain its meaning if you obsess over it to the extent that Fletcher does, do people still respond to his performances on an emotional level, or do they appreciate it on a purely technical level? There's that dinner scene, where someone in Miles Teller's family asks, "How can you have a music competition? Isn't it subjective?" and Miles Teller says, "No," but it never explores the idea of what chasing the parts of music which can be judged objective does to the music. The other question is, what right does Fletcher have to the next Charlie Parker? How does this white dude think he can own jazz? But I've spent more words finding what's problematic about the film than I did on what I liked, which is usually the sign of a great film, one I wanted to spend a lot of words thinking about.

[autochthonousone]

Those Who Wander - The Spar

(( Once more I apologize to @the-worst-mercenaries for being so slow with these logs! Thank you for the patience! ))

Barengar Armsbreaker ( @autochthonousone ) grumbled quietly to himself as he quietly milled about the outer edge of the dying merchant outpost. His left shoulder would frequently roll backward as he moved between the piled mass of his haubergeon and great axe. The man appeared to be waiting for something or, more precisely, someone. The dwindling light of the was on the horizon was just enough to illuminate his belongings. His back now turned to the entrance of the bazaar as he sifted through a small pouch.

Shana Deftarm ( @the-worst-mercenaries ) trotted up the road, pushing her hair out of her eyes and coming to a stop when she saw the other man pacing about. She smiled, waving a hand in greeting before dropping into her customary hand-on-waist stance. "I got the letter," she called out with a chuckle. "Its been awhile since I sparred with anyone outside of Haralt, or Adun."

Barengar Armsbreaker lifted his head as he heard footsteps in the sand behind him, his hands reaching for a pair of gloves as his head turned to see just who it was that was approaching. Shana's greeting spoiled that before he had even managed to catch sight of the woman. A low grunt escaped Barengar as he pivoted on his heels so that he was facing her, "S'good." he grumbled, pulling the gloves on, "Judgin' fr'm las' I saw ya was seemin' like it migh' do ya s'me good."

Shana Deftarm felt her smile tugging itself into a smirk. She took a few steps closer, watching Barengar to try and get an idea for the cadence of the coming bout. "Think I'm going soft?" She asked, stretching the muscles in her shoulders to begin loosening up. She crossed one arm over her chest, linking her other arm behind the elbow as she shifted around. "Hand to hand?"

Barengar Armsbreaker snorts, "No." he answered plainly, "Was seemin' like ya could use somethin' solid ta hit." He rolled his left shoulder back as he stepped forward a few steps, stretching his neck from one side to the next. "Tha' was my thinkin' unless yer keen on goin' armed." He pressed his lips into a thin line, "I ain't picky."

Shana Deftarm felt her eyes go wide, the smile sliding from her face in an instant. She was silent, dropping her arms to her side before blowing the bangs from her face. "... I suppose you're right," she finally murmured, tensing up her hands and relaxing them a few moments later. "

Shana Deftarm: "Don't usually get people lining up to let me work my feelings through, at any rate."

Barengar Armsbreaker tightens his hands into fists and then releases them several times before simply grunting and waving a hand through the air in a dismissive manner, "Don't know 'bout you but I ain't interested in havin' a line o' that fashion." his gaze settled pointedly upon the woman across from him, "Ain't selfless. Got things o' my own ta deal wit'. Figure tha's fair 'nough ta say. Sea ain't gonna swallow 'em all."

Shana Deftarm felt the smile returning, nodding to the man across from her. "Aye. I'd rather not." She was back to observing him, eyes slightly narrowed as she seemed to concentrate on Barengar and stretched her other shoulder. This one did not seem to stretch as much; the week old wound still being bothersome, though she would never admit it. "Ready or you wanna talk more?"

Barengar Armsbreaker snorted, "Then we're in agreement." He narrowed his own gaze slightly in kind, eyes sweeping over the woman as she prepared herself for the altercation to come. He took note of the stiffness in her shoulder, a low grunt escaping the man before he widened his footing and took up a ready position; fists aloft.

Shana Deftarm nodded. "We are," she finally answered, rocking on the balls of her feet to wake up her legs. Watching him, Shana seemed to hesitate a moment, not quite sure to hold back or throw herself forward like she was used to with her matches against her brothers. Her own fists came up, almost as if she was guarding.

Barengar Armsbreaker took note of Shana's decision to put up her guard. This was normally a move that the mercenary himself would begin with however, in this instance he decided he would creature pressure. With a subtle lean forward, leveling his left shoulder in her direction, he started toward her at a quick pace. He sought to collide with her guard and throw her off balance.

Shana Deftarm didn't bother with the backstep, knowing that he'd only bowl her over anyway and instead sidestepped his rush. As he brushed past, trying to use his own momentum against him and tried to hook him around by the shoulder. She raised up her knee, trying to catch him in the gut before he had time to recover.

Barengar Armsbreaker blinked in surprise as he braced for the impact that never came. Instead he found himself jarringly yanked to the side and away from the path that he had been taking. Fortunately for the mercenary he was still thinking quick enough to thrust his arms out to soften the impact of her knee as it impacted against his abdomen. A dull grunted thudded its way out of his throat, his grip securing around her leg enough so that he could attempt to leverage it, and her single remaining standing leg and flip her to the ground.

Shana Deftarm cursed under her breath, feeling Barengar grabbing her leg. Yep. This was why she planted herself like a tree; it was hard to fall on your arse for overextending yourself if you didn't extend in the first place after all. She managed to keep her balance, somehow, and instead used her closeness to her advantage. Her fist balled up, she took a shallow swing at the man's face to try and encourage him to let go.

Barengar Armsbreaker knew that his gambit had been for not when his initial lift was met with not even the slightest of budge on Shana's part. He also knew, well enough, that reprisal was not long to wait. Sure enough the swing came and collided with his face unabated, not even an attempt to shield himself with an arm. He simply took the blow with a stiff grunt that was followed up by a low growl. Whatever grip he hand on her was released and she got what she wanted as he took a step away from her, if only step right back in at an angle and take a heavy swing at her right side.

Shana Deftarm had expected him to either let her go or take the hit; not both. She staggered when her leg was released, struggling to find her footing once more and missing as he wound up for his own punishing strike. She looked up just in time to feel it, trying to stay inside her own strike zone rather than fall back like she wanted. Not her best idea, to be sure, but she tried feign her injury to grab at an ankle or lower leg to trip him up. When in doubt, try and drop him to the ground.

Barengar Armsbreaker wasn't one to fall for such misdirection, particularly not when he was expecting for the target of his blow to experience more than mild discomfort. This however, did not stop the man from completely misreading Shana's footing and finding himself within reaching distance of her arms. Barengar found himself robbed his solid footing rather quickly. Lashing an arm out and securing it around Shana's right arm was all the mercenary could do as he was unceremoniously introduced to the sand dirt. The least that he could hope for was that her could bring her down in tandem.

Shana Deftarm was promptly dragged down with him, pulled down by the arm. She fell down hard, yanking her arm back to try and disentangle herself from him. She tried to roll back and away to struggle back to her feet before Barengar could beat her to it. Shana was panting, but the grin on her face and brightness to her eyes made it clear she was enjoying herself.

Barengar Armsbreaker pulled back from immediate re-engagement for the first time in the session, rolling several times away from her before quickly spring up to his feet. There was a mark upon his face that was quickly becoming obvious as time went on. She'd managed to clock him good, despite his continued consciousness. He wiped his forearm across his face, preemptively brushing away beading sweat as he kept his gaze fixated upon Shana. A deep grunt was directed at her, "Know 'ow ta stand yer ground." he grumbled before dipping down low and pulling his right arm back, taking several quick steps forward and attempting to deliver a sound punch to her stomach.

Shana Deftarm snorted, grinning at him and getting briefly distracted... enough so that he caught her good in the stomach. Nope. Not doing that again, terrible idea. Adun would have pummeled the hell out of her, much like Barengar was doing now. She stayed on her feet, if he was going low she was going to go high and decided to give him a matching strike on the other side of his face.

Barengar Armsbreaker clenched his jaw as he felt his fist connect, it was difficult not to feel a certain amount of satisfaction after a successful attack. Feel too much, however, and you're liable to be hit in the face for it. And so he was. Shana's fist collided with the right side of his face with a solid, fully connected blow that forced the man to roll with the force lest he find his head ringing louder than it already was. He grunted in surprise before staggering a few steps back. As he took a moment to recollect himself, a small rivulet of blood leaked out from the corner of his mouth. Nothing serious. True to his method, Barengar wasn't about to let up until he felt that he simply couldn't. He took a step forward and pulled right right fist back before suddenly lashing out at her left leg with his right, looking to knock her off balance before shoving her to the ground.

Shana Deftarm had some vague, mild pride watching the blood from her strike. First blood was hers, and that in itself was a small victory... though maybe she should have spent less time being proud of herself and more on watching her opponent. She saw the swing coming from malms off, but she didn't see the strike from his leg dragging her unceremoniously to the ground. She grunted, trying to keep herself upright and only pulling herself down more quickly. As a last ditch effort, she tried to swing her leg and catch his other to drag him down as well, much like their first fall.

Barengar Armsbreaker watched quietly as Shana toppled backward after he had robbed her of secure footing and given her a firm push, preparing to follow up with another strike. This plan, however, was put on ice when he felt a curious impact against his ankle. Much as Shana had mere moments before, Barengar now found himself crashing toward the earth. Face collided with sand, the impact briefly addling his senses before he quickly pulled himself together and attempted to pin Shana's lashing leg in place. He had to make the most of the position that he found himself in. It looked liked this was going to become ground work. Should he successfully gain leverage on her leg he would yank her in his direction and attempt to bar her from getting back to her feet.

Shana Deftarm felt him trying to gain control her legs, and rather than get away she decided it would be better if they both were kept at similar disadvantage. She squirmed, doing her best to tangle up his limbs to keep him from getting a firm grip on her. She managed to wriggle her way around his shoulder, latching onto an arm and seemingly unwilling to give it back. Or at least, try to keep him from controlling it.

Barengar Armsbreaker growled, mostly to himself in good-natured frustration, as his attempts to wrest control was robbed from him and, moreover, used against him. He attempted to jerk his arm away and free of her lock but failed to do so. The man responded to the loss of his arm by lashing out with its opposite, attempting to coax its entrapped counterpart free by landing several quick blows to her exposed side.

Shana Deftarm winced, trying to keep hold of his arm but unwilling to weather the flurry of blows. She released it with a sharp exhale of breath, trying to keep herself from giving too much ground and instead trying to get into a place to keep him from hitting her more and regain control.

Barengar didn't waste any time. The moment he felt even the slightest sense of relenting in Shana's lock upon his arm he yanked hard; managing to pull it free. This momentum wasn't to be wasted either, quickly shifting and sliding such that he attempted to get himself position behind her while still remaining upon the ground. An arm  attempting to slide into place at her underarm before reaching up to place the anchor the hand at the back of her neck in a half-nelson. Supposing the Ala Mhigan had any luck and succeed in his attempt he would strive to use the leverage and secure her into a full head-lock.

Shana could feel that creeping sensation in her gut when she screwed up, and it was blaring in her ears like alarm bells. She tried too late to squirm away, Barengar already behind her with a solid hold keeping her under control. She struggled, trying to break free and finally just trying to slide out from his arms to escape him completely without bothering to keep her own hold on him. She had no interest in anything outside of escaping.

Just when his success was within grasp, Barengar felt it slip away from him once again. The frenetic struggling that Shana put up in obstruction to his attempts had succeeded in creating an opening and allowing her to quickly scuttle to freedom. Barengar, this time, didn't try to immediately capture her again. No, this time he simply pushed himself up to his feet with a quick motion.

He was now covered in sand and dirt while his lip was colored with small marks of blood. Though the surface expression upon Barengar's face was one of focused determination, one could also see a flickering flame in the gaze of his eyes. It was a fight worth having in the mercenary's opinion.

"Ya know 'ow ta keep yer wits 'bout yerself." Barengar grumbled in a deep tone, this time not bothering to wipe away the small amount blood that colored the corner of his mouth.

"I know how to not get myself caught," Shana said with the tiniest bit of laughter in her voice, the smirk coming up in full force as she managed to clamber to her feet. "Came close though, but I almost had you too." She widened her stance, watching incase he came back with another bullrush. She was shaking out her shirt a moment, sending a spray of dirt and sand to the ground. Wrestling on the ground tended to do that, but she didn't mind it.

She was starting to get winded, just a bit, pulling in more air that she should have needed... but it wasn't enough to push the grin from her face. She seemed to be having her own good time, feeling on par with her opponent unlike her own fights with her brothers. She took a testing step forward, her eyes locked on Barengar as she tested her luck. The first step, then another, pushing closer before exploding with energy and charging into him much like his rush when they first began.

As much as the man was capable of rushing forward with abandon, such was not the method that had him sporting as few scars as he possessed after a near decade working as a mercenary. This is where he preferred to be, steady and at the ready, watching as his opponent came at him. With the proper attention to the moments of your attack you can seem as though you're reading their mind.

Barengar kept his gaze securely upon Shana as she began to creep forward. His hands slowly rose out before him; at the ready. Just as she saw legs tense in the brief moment before they launched her forward, Barengar dug himself in and met Shana head on. He stiffened his posture and pushed into Shana's own charge. Colliding.

As they crashed against one another, Barengar attempted to plant an elbow against Shana's back.

"You're not making this easy," Shana grumbled, pushing off his mass and withdrawing before he could pin her again somehow. He'd been ready for her, and she had to admit it had been a foolish risk to charge at him head on. She started to circle him, feeling uneasy now that the roles were switched; usually she was the one waiting for her opponent but now it was the other way around.

She didn't like moving much when she was fighting, and it was clear in her stance and posture, but she would be damned if she gave him the satisfaction of seeing her struggle overlong. Her eyes flicked to his, still trying to grin as she ducked in again, winding up and taking a shot at his torso.

"Ain't figurin' ya'd be keen on botherin' wit it if I did." he grunted in response as they pushed away from one another. He watched her closely as she gauged her next move. She was clearly reassessing her approach considering what it was that had happened previous. Having one's opponent forced to fight in such a way that they were unfamiliar was a useful advantage.

That is, when you make the proper observations.

The flash of her grin just before she swooped in and nailed a direct shot to his chest was enough to throw him off-center for just long enough to land the blow. The shock of impact caused Barengar's breath to hitch for a brief moment as he winced. A snort and stiff grunt were accompanied by the sound, soon, the mercenary's arm bolted out to try and grab her back the shoulders and steady her so that he could slam his skull against hers

And there it was, the Big Mistake. She managed to get her hit in, but it was at a steep cost when he got his hands on her and promptly headbutted her. For a moment all she saw was stars, not ready for the direct hit to her head and she staggered on her feet. Her punch became more of a grabbing to keep herself standing, shaking her head and throwing a jumble of words between swearing and "Yield!" She pushed back from him, head in her hands as she rubbed at her eyes to clear her vision.

"I bloody yield ." Shana blinked a few times, the warm spot on her head letting her know she'd have a lovely bruise by tomorrow. "Rhalgr's arse I need to sit down." She pushed the bangs from her face, using it as an excuse to rub the now sore spot without being obvious what I was doing. "Hard swiving head you have."

Despite have been easily swept up in the push and pull of the sparring, it did not take long for the heat of the battle to be pulled back when it became clear that Shana had had enough. His fists relaxed and his gaze seemed a measure less intent, though he did not take an immediate step back. He knew as well as she how sound that last collision was, he remained near to her with his arms at the ready should her balance decide to fail.

Making sure she didn't fall was the very least he could do.

He snorted slightly at her comment regarding in his head as he moved in a bit closer and placed a hand upon her shoulder in a respectful clasp.

"Yer swivin' scrappy, Deftarm." he grunted before giving a slight push with his hand upon her shoulder. If she wanted a place to sit, he was going to suggest the nearby cliffside. Mostly for his own selfish reasons, truth be told. The view of the ocean simply was too much to ignore.

"Two brothers do that. We'd get bored and we'd spar." Shana dropped her hand, the white starbursts fading and replaced with a fantastic headache. She let him push her along, guiding her to wherever he thought best to sit; she was hardly in any condition to argue or refuse if she wanted. "The benefits of a Fist teaching you," she amended with a chuckle, looking up at the damage she'd caused herself.

"Most of 'em never did go for my head," She finally said after a while with a smirk. "They'd hit each other in the eyes, or the jaw, without a blink. But my face was always off limits." Shana elbowed him in the side as they walked, though it was considerably more gentle than their sparring just moments earlier. "... Thanks Armsbreaker. Its been a bit since I threw a proper punch."

The mercenary idly listened to Shana as he moved them both toward the nearby cliffside, emitting a stiff grunt as her elbow dug into his side. His eyes side-glanced toward the woman and gave her a flat expression before coming to a stop in a relatively cushioned location of dry grass. The Armsbreaker would help Shana to a seat before slowly lowering himself to ground in kind.

"Ain't nothin' ta be said fer it, Deftarm. Figurin' it was doin' the both o' us s'me good." he grunted, resting his arms upon bent knees as he settled down to Shana's right; left shoulder rolling back

"Supposin' if yer gonna learn, ya oughta learn fr'm the best."

As stubborn as she was, Shana wasn't about to refuse when he helped her sit. She was still having pulses in her vision, though they were clearing on their own so she didn't mind them much. The ocean stretched out beneath them, its dull white-noise roar helping to soothe her headache. "That it did. It was good to work things out some," she agreed. She turned, watching the shoulder and frowning before she looked up at his face and then back at the ocean. "Mm. I suppose."  She let the quiet form again, letting her eyes close and just listening to the wind and the water. The calm after a good fight was something to be relished, before life crept back in to throw a dirty punch and she planned to make the most of it.

Barengar had no intention of shattering that silence. Not immediately anyway. He, of all people, had a fair appreciation for the calm that it can bring. Particularly so after a sparring session as brutal as the one that had just concluded. That one one another one the ropes. It's a wonder that either of them could even manage to stand upright at all.

The mercenary's eyes fell down toward the shifting mass of water, following the crests of waves as they came to abrupt ends at the back of the cliffside and they lashed upward in long tendrils of sea water. For as chaotic and busy as the ocean often was, the steady pace of it all seemed to have a calming effect upon the man.

This was reflected in the way that a deep and audible rumble seemed to reverberate from within his chest.

Shana heard the rumble that came from Barengar, though it didn't seem to be agitated or upset so she let it go. Sometimes even she respected the need for quiet, and she answered with her own deep breath and slow exhale. Before long, however, she could sense her thoughts beginning to churn and she finally cracked open her eyes. She sighed, leaning back and sagging on her arms with her legs kicked out in front of her. She was favoring the one arm, not minding the bit of weakness that managed to work its way out.

"Cleared your head, at least? It feels like you were trying to push it all out with the headbutt." The woman chuckled, glancing once more at the man beside her. "I know nearly everything fell out with that last hit."

The mercenary snorted; a stifled chuckle.

"Supposin' so." he grumbled quietly in response, though his gaze remained diligently upon the waves as the moved.

His fingers drummed along the dust-caked ground upon which they sat, his left shoulder routine rolling backward as they sat in another bout of amiable silence. It was Barengar that, eventually broke it in this particular instance however.

"And wha' of yerself?" he asked with a flat tone, his gaze finally find its way over to Shana, sweeping over her form as he took due note of the injuries that she seemed to have sustained.

"Everything's quiet." She grinned back, shaking her head. "For now atleast. Its... enjoyable." She touched the bruise forming on her temple and forehead, half tempted to pester the stablemaster when she finally managed to wander back to the house. It was a worry for a later time, and she simply shrugged the idea off. Her eyes kept going back to his shoulder, however, and for a moment it looked like she was going to say something... but she let it go. Maybe another time.

"I feel like maybe I could actually get decent sleep." Shana added after a moment, rubbing at her head again. She wasn't sure if she was bone-tired, or if it was from the head-to-head strike she'd managed to endure. The white stars had left her vision, and all that was left was a fading headache; probably just bone tired.

The man flickered his gaze over toward the woman as she made mention of being able to get some proper sleep, his eyes remaining upon her for a moment before he simply grunted and dipped his head toward her in silent understanding. His gaze returned to the waters below shortly after. The man, a bit battered though he might be, did seem to be content enough.

"Don't be keepin' yerself fr'm it on m'ccount." he grumbled quietly, "Sayin' yerself tha' it's elusive t'ya. Ain't keen on robbin' from ya."

Barengar's eyes slowly came to a close, between his state of relative exertion and the minor injuries he sustained, sight was simply a distraction when trying to ease oneself into a calm. He simply focused on the sounds of the distant waves, the wind whipping along the rock face, and the slowly normalizing pace of breathing of both her and his company.

[markoftheasphodel]

For the meme: Alvis and Travant

Arvis

general opinion: fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | actual love of my life (In the sense of being a good antagonist, that is)hotness level: get away from me | meh | neutral | theoretically hot but not my type | pretty hot | gorgeous! | 10/10 would bang (Kinda went off on the fabulous bastards with long flowing hair some time ago)hogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuff (Yeah yeah, ambition, but also keep the surface presentation of Arvis, heir to the “emblem of justice,” in mind– imagine him going through life saying out loud “My whole family is Gryffindor” knowing the Hat had a lengthy dialogue with him about his ambition. And yes, Gryffs can go very wrong.)best quality: He had a vision of a better world and the competence and drive to almost get there. He saw a very corrupt world and said “I can do better than that” and tried.worst quality: Pride and a level of self-deception that goes with it. He thought he could handle Manfroy and couldn’t. He thought he could cover his tracks and couldn’t. He thought he could build a better world on a foundation of murder. And to the end, he never apologizes to Seliph. Can he admit, even to himself, the magnitude of his crimes and failures? I don’t know.ship them with: Uh… Aida.brotp them with: Poor Azelle and no one else, really. He’s an isolated man by design.needs to stay away from: Aside from random women who resemble his mother, the legit husbands of his love interests, and random dark mages?misc. thoughts: A++ antagonist but basically he was the party to a whole lotta murder and the architect of many injustices to the common people and the fact that he a) had the best of intentions and b) suffered deep personal losses doesn’t change that.

Travant

general opinion: fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | actual love of my life (Again, in the sense of being a great antagonist. Travant is a personal favorite.)hotness level: get away from me | meh | neutral | theoretically hot but not my type | pretty hot | gorgeous! | 10/10 would bang (what I said above about fabulous bastards with fabulous hair, as impressive a figure as he cuts)hogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuff (That’s not even a contest.)best quality: I think it’s that sense of “justice” that Lewyn says doesn’t make sense outside of his own borders. He wants to keep his people safe and well-fed, and the deck’s been stacked against him. He wants brigands rounded up. He hates working for scum like Chagall. He balks at personally murdering a toddler in a world where offing the kids of your political enemies is standard procedure. He stands in sharp contrast to a really awful king like Dannan or a weak one like Bloom.worst quality: The justice doesn’t come with sufficient levels of mercy (Altena aside), so we get lovely things like hostage-taking and orders for reprisals against civilians. For all that he resents the powerful forces that keep him in check and his people down, he’s willing to take the low road if it works, and it usually works.ship them with: Nobody really. Don’t ask me where Arion came from. I can see the argument for the Quan hatesexship but it’s really not my thingbrotp them with: Nobody really. If he could’ve been bros with someone like Hannibal he’d have been better off. needs to stay away from: Ethlyn, Leif, and Finn, both in the literal “somebody gonna die” sense and the “I have seen these ships and lo, they were bad” sense.misc. thoughts: A really great antagonist who serves as a foil to two of the heroes (Quan and Finn) and another villain (Arvis) and shines in every role– ruler of an embattled nation, father waging proxy war through his children, long-game mastermind who wants to reshape the power balance. Travant willingly gets his hands bloody and then offers no excuses; he knows he’s probably going to hell for everything that he’s done and accepts that as the price of his master plan. Arvis quietly arranges for the Tyrfing to reach Seliph and waits at Chalphy for the rebel army to show, but Travant strips himself of his holy weapon and flies off to directly confront the people who most want him dead. Both Arvis and Travant sort of get what they want– an Empire more just than the regime it replaced, a unified Thracia where grain can flow freely from north to south– but Jugdral’s cosmic morality looks at Travant’s own sacrifice and says “good enough” and so his son is spared, his daughter gets the chance to shape his legacy, and the kid sitting on New Thracia’s throne don’t have major holy blood. For whose sake was it all, and who really won in the end?  

[moviesbarelyreviewed]

The Best of 2017

So it’s been two years since my last post on this here blog. There are may and varied reasons for this, but I won’t bore you by getting into them. What’s important is that I’ve still been seeing movies, still been thinking about them, and still been telling everyone I know to see the ones I love. And so I hope that this post will get this blog back in business, though I hesitate to make any promises, given that I am now a first-year law student, meaning that a) There’s a very good chance I won’t have the time to keep up with this blog and b) I’ve learned that making promises can sometimes inadvertently bind you in an irrevocable contract, which could prove very costly for me down the road (don’t ask me how, I still don’t understand contracts). 

Nevertheless, it’s the end of the year, so I’ve made my list of the year’s best films, and I want to share it with you all. As always, I couldn’t see every movie that came out this year. I used to say that I was only an amateur film critic of dubious reputation and professionalism, but I’m not sure I can claim even that title at this point (see: it’s been two years since my last post). So before you all start banging down my doors, complaining that I left your favorite film off my list (this has never happened, but I like to imagine that I’m important enough to where it would), I’ll note up front that I have not seen The Last Jedi, I, Tonya, The Shape of Water, Call Me By Your Name, and whatever film you’re thinking of right now, probably. But with that being said, I’ve seen many of the year’s big contenders (shoutout to a/perture Cinema in Winston-Salem, NC, for allowing me the opportunity to see some smaller films that I couldn’t catch in any other theater) and I feel comfortable in saying that this is a fairly comprehensive list. Like in the past, I start the list with number 11, because there was just one film I couldn’t leave out.

11. Raw (Julia Ducournau). I really think that we’re living in a golden age for horror films, and if you don’t believe me, well, note that the first three films on my list are all horror movies. The first is Raw, an ice-cool, coming-of-age shocker from French director Julia DuCournau. I feel confident in recommending most of the other films on my list to just about any moviegoer out there, but I can’t say the same for Raw. This is, quite simply, not a film for everyone, which is completely fine. The story follows teenage vegan Justine (Garance Marillier), who goes away to veterinary school and is forced to eat meat as part of a hazing ritual during her first week. The new taste opens Justine up to some other... new tastes, though I hesitate to say more for fear of spoilers. Suffice it to say, this movie has at least three of the most memorable scenes of the year. You can probably guess from this description alone that squeamish viewers need not apply. But those who can stomach the story’s taboo twists will find an intelligent, sensitive, and provocative tale, solidified by a killer soundtrack and a fearless central performance from Marillier.

10. Happy Death Day (Christopher Landon). There’s something to be said for a movie that is impeccably crafted, brilliantly acted, and profoundly impactful. But there’s also something to be said for a movie that isn’t any of those things, but is still fun as heck. Happy Death Day, the horror-thriller from director Christopher Landon, certainly falls into the latter category, but I think it more than deserves a spot on this list. Making a great genre film is often harder than making a great original film, because most everyone who sees genre films is familiar with their tropes and not looking for something they’ve already seen before. Happy Death Day manages to rise above those genre pitfalls, however, primarily due to its central gimmick which, albeit, it apes from films like Groundhog Day, Edge of Tomorrow, and even this year’s Before I Fall. Newcomer Jessica Rothe stars as Tree, who begins the movie as an obnoxious, stuck-up mean girl. We know, of course, that she is about to learn some important lessons. Unfortunately for Tree, though, she has to learn those lessons by, well, being murdered.... a lot, until she is able to uncover the identity of her masked killer. Like the aforementioned Edge of Tomorrow, Happy Death Day wisely doesn’t take itself too seriously and has a lot of fun with its circular time structure. Indeed, I found myself laughing throughout this movie, because it’s just such a blast to watch. Even though some of its third-act twists are utterly ridiculous, it doesn’t matter because the movie has already strapped you into its roller coaster ride long before. And as far as roller coasters go, this movie is as breathless as they come.

9. Get Out (Jordan Peele). Get Out is unquestionably one of the defining movies of 2017. Even though it came out in the first quarter of the year, it has stayed in the minds of moviegoers and critics alike, which alone is a tremendous accomplishment for director Jordan Peele. If you still haven’t seen Peele’s twisted tale of a black man (Daniel Kaluuya) who finds himself enduring figurative (and possibly literal) hell while spending a weekend with the parents (Bradley Whitford and Catherine Keener) of his white girlfriend (Allison Williams), you’re in for a truly original, unforgettable experience. Sure, the shocks and twists are effective, but what takes this movie beyond the level of a traditional genre film is its button-pushing topicality. Chances are it’ll make you squirm long before its supernatural scares come. It’s no wonder that it’s the movie everyone has been talking about for months on end.

8. Wind River (Taylor Sheridan). Director Taylor Sheridan made a huge splash just last year with his screenplay for the unlikely Best Picture nominee, Hell or High Water, and with Wind River, his directorial debut, he deserves to make an even bigger one. Like Hell or High Water, Wind River is a neo-western, though not a conventional one. It’s set on an Indian reservation in Wyoming, where wildlife tracker Corey Lambert (Jeremy Renner) is the only white man for miles, a fact which plays both a provocative and potentially problematic role in the movie’s plot. When a young Indian girl from the area is brutally murdered, Corey is called upon by FBI agent Jane Banner (the excellent Elizabeth Olsen), a city-slicker who is out of place on the reservation, to say the least, to help her navigate the community and investigate the crime, a task which eventually forces Corey to exercise some painful demons from his past. Although there is a hint of white saviorism in how the plot unravels, the movie’s lasting message is a poignant and pressing one about the current state of Native Americans in our country. Sheridan deserves a lot of credit for telling a little-told story with grit and honesty, and the actors certainly do their part as well, particularly the great Native American actor Gil Birmingham (who was brilliant as Jeff Bridges’ partner in Hell or High Water) as the father of the murdered girl.

7. The Lego Batman Movie (Chris McKay). I honestly didn’t think I could love 2015′s The Lego Movie any more... and then I saw the Lego Batman Movie. Despite a new director and the element of surprise having worn off, Chris McKay’s follow-up to The Lego Movie somehow reaches the impossibly high bar set by its predecessor. It does so mainly by not deviating from what made the first movie so successful: quirky characters, fast-paced humor, and beautifully detailed Lego environments. Will Arnett reprises his role from the original as a particularly narcissistic Batman, trying to protect Gotham from the likes of the Joker (Zach Galifianakis), Harley Quinn (Jenny Slate), Bane (Doug Benson), and many more, all while trying to deal with Dick Grayson (Michael Cera), the teenage orphan that he has accidentally adopted. As in the first film, there are as many jokes for adults as there for kids, and as in the first film, the movie has a heartfelt message at the core of its kicky and occasionally silly goings-on. There may come a point when these Lego movies wear out there welcome... but we’re not there yet. 

6. Dunkirk (Christopher Nolan). So apparently some people thought Dunkirk was boring? I must confess, I am in the exact opposite camp. I was completely riveted by Christopher Nolan’s often unbearably intense war epic. Like most of Nolan’s movies, Dunkirk doesn’t spoon-feed its audience by dumbing things down. Instead, we’re expected to sift through the movie’s huge cast of characters and occasionally confusing time structure with little help from the filmmakers, which I, for one appreciated. But even if you can’t get your mind around everything going on in the film, it’s hard not to surrender to its incredibly immersive effect. I’ve rarely felt so embroiled in the goings-on of a movie as I did when watching Dunkirk. It proves that there are still many great war stories to be told, and many great directors willing to breathe new life into history.

5. Baby Driver (Edgar Wright). Like the Simon and Garfunkel song from which it takes its title, Baby Driver is as slick, cool, and effortless as movies come. Director Edgar Wright has yet to make a bad movie and, in Baby Driver, he borrows much of the visual panache and witty dialogue displayed in his great 2010 film Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, but this time targets it at... those of you who probably thought you were too cool to see a movie like Scott Pilgrim. Cool is something this movie certainly doesn’t lack. For those who haven’t seen it, Baby Driver is the story of a teenager named Baby (Ansel Elgort), who supports himself and the old man (CJ Jones) he shares an apartment with by working as a getaway driver for a band of bank robbers (Jon Hamm, Jamie Foxx, and Eiza Gonzalez are the robbers, Kevin Spacey is their leader). But when Baby falls for a good-hearted waitress (Lily James), he’s forced to choose between her or his wayward lifestyle.... which of course isn’t as simple as it sounds. As you might expect, Baby Driver has some truly epic action sequences, but what really gives it added style points is its brilliant use of music. Baby syncs all of his getaway drives up to classic rock songs and, as a result, the movie is a sort of musical-action hybrid rarely seen on the big screen. It needs no saying that the songs, from Queen’s “Brighton Rock” to Focus’s “Hocus Pocus”, are all perfectly chosen for their particular moments. No one else today is making movies like Edgar Wright. But they should be.

4. Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri (Martin McDonagh). If you’ve ever seen one of Martin McDonagh’s films (or plays for that matter), you’ll know that the man likes his humor as black as coal. Three Billboards, his latest, certainly doesn’t deviate from this trend, but it also has an emotional heft and modern-day relevance that perhaps In Bruges and Seven Psychopaths lacked. The rather clumsily titled film is set in a small Missouri town where Mildred (Frances McDormand) has recently lost her daughter to a brutal rape and murder that has left the community shaken. Frustrated by the perceived lack of effort in investigating the crime on the part of the local police, Mildred buys three large billboards on the edge of town and arranges for three different, but all damning messages to be painted on each (the most pointed of all reads “How come, Chief Willoughby”). But Mildred’s bold act doesn’t win the favor from the townsfolk that one might expect. That’s because the chief of police (Woody Harrelson) is a universally-admired family man, who is seen as the misplaced object of Mildred’s ire. Complicating matters even further is racist, firebrand cop Jason Dixon (the always incredible Sam Rockwell), who threatens to send Mildred over the edge with his untamed aggression. For my money, this is the best acted movie of the year. No one in the rich ensemble, which also includes John Hawkes, Lucas Hedges, Caleb Landry Jones, and Peter Dinklage, gives anything but their best. Even more impressive is McDonagh’s screenplay which is both brutally funny and brutally sad. His characters are some of the most believably complex I’ve seen in a long time. The moral ambiguity that all of their actions are subject to is not unlike real life itself. As much as I’ve enjoyed McDonagh’s films in the best, Three Billboards is an exciting step forward for a director already near the top of his game.

3. Lady Bird (Greta Gerwig). Come on, you guys new this would be on here. I mean, seriously, it’s a coming-of-age dramedy directed by Greta Gerwig and starring Saoirse Ronan. I don’t think I could write a better sentence than that if I tried. Now sure, I’m a sucker for these types of movies, but I think the overwhelming critical acclaim for Lady Bird (peep that Rotten Tomatoes score) proves that, at least this time, my hype for this movie is justified. To be fair, I think Lady Bird does lack the intense emotional impact of a film like The Perks of Being a Wallflower or The Spectacular Now, which keeps it from being a complete home run for me, but that’s probably by design. Yes, the movie is profound and often moving, but it’s also funny and whimsical in ways that those movies aren’t. Indeed, it has a lot of the quirky, shaggydog charm we’ve seen in recent films starring Gerwig, like Frances Ha or Mistress America. This time, though, it’s Ronan who stands in for Gerwig and, if there was any doubt beforehand, she proves that she’s the finest actress of this generation. And yeah, she’s only 23. Her performance here as Lady Bird, a strong-willed teen clashing with her parents (beautifully played by Laurie Metcalf and Tracy Letts), while experiencing her first relationships (Lucas Hedges and, later, Timothee Chalamet play her suitors), is yet another peerless turn in a career already chock full of them. Although I think Frances McDormand, in the above mentioned Three Billboards, gives arguably a better performance than Ronan, I’m rooting for Ronan to get the Oscar, because it’s long overdue. And that’s really all there is to say about Lady Bird. This wise, funny film hits basically no wrong notes and, though it’s hard to imagine how Gerwig will top this one, I can’t wait to see her try in the future. 

2. The Disaster Artist (James Franco). The Disaster Artist is my favorite film of the year, but, for reasons I will explain shortly, I went with a different film at the top of this list. As for James Franco’s hilarious and inspiring film, however, I simply couldn’t have enjoyed it more. The Disaster Artist, based on the book by Greg Sestero, is the scarcely believable, but undeniably true story of Tommy Wiseau (James Franco), a bizarre man from some unknown Eastern European country (though he swears he was born in New Orleans), who sounds like Dracula and looks like the lead singer of a death metal band, and his 2003 film “The Room” which has become a cult classic of Rocky Horror proportions, primarily because it may well be the single worst film ever made (though don’t tell Wiseau). The Disaster Artist also tells us the story of Greg Sestero (Dave Franco), Tommy’s friend and roommate who starred alongside Wiseau in The Room. Like Tommy, Greg is an aspiring actor, but unlike Wiseau, he’s a clean-cut, all-American guy that seems to have at least a little bit of acting talent. The Franco brothers strike a great dynamic in their scenes together, but the real highlight of this movie is its depiction of the filming of “The Room.” If you’ve seen “The Room,” which I had, I think you can appreciate these scenes even more, but even if you haven’t, there’s much to laugh, gasp, and marvel at. The real achievement of The Disaster Artist, though, is the way it rewrites this narrative. Though there are a lot of laughs at his expense, Wiseau is an oddly inspiring figure, a man who, despite what everyone told him, had a dream and achieved that dream with nothing but a lot of passion (and, ok, a lot of cash that we still aren’t really sure of the source of). That’s a story we can all relate to.

1. The Florida Project (Sean Baker). The Disaster Artist, like I said, is my favorite film of 2017. The Florida Project, at least at this point, falls just short of that title because I’m still on the fence about the ending of Sean Baker’s film. I’ve gone back and forth on how I feel about it, but I think I need to see it again to truly decide. Nevertheless, I think the fact that I’m still thinking about this film, which I saw months ago, speaks to its power, and that’s why I’m choosing it as the best movie of 2017. The tale of Moonee (the delightful Brooklynne Prince), a mischievous 6 year old, and her mother Hailee (newcomer Bria Vinaite, in a stunningly brilliant performance) is an uncompromising look at poverty in America that still brims with vitality in every shot. Much is owed as well to the work of director Sean Baker, who brings the kitschy motel where Hailee and Moonee live, to life, in eye-popping color. And let’s not forget Willem Defoe’s lovely, warm-hearted performance as Bobby, who runs the motel and gives Moonee and Hailee break after break, despite his best instincts. The Florida Project will put you through the emotional ringer, especially in its climax, but the thing which struck me the most is how true this film is. It’s as essential as it is gripping, giving a voice to a group of people who are rarely heard from in today’s political landscape. And despite its unflinching realism, the movie is ultimately hopeful, and fully invested in the very premise that explains why movies endure into 2017: a little imagination can make anything seem possible. In 2017, I think that’s a lesson we all can all take heart in.

-PSH