#rn tho i need to nap
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okay plan: nap -> laundry + while laundry is on go through my budget + pay phone bill + organise next week -> put away laundry + put all the rubbish in my room into big bags at the very least -> finish organising next week + just generally make lists of things to do -> message & email everyone i need to message & email -> go through some maths stuff -> make dinner -> finish reading to be taught if fortunate / watch a yet to be decided film in either order xoxo
#i have lots and lots of time ahead of me in the next like 2 weeks…… so i need 2 sort some stuff out !#i also have things @ weird times tho so that makes it slightly harder#but im looking forward to it it should all be good <3#i am kind of depending on my work putting me in for shifts all of the week after next but if that doesnt happen it’s not the end of the worl#rn tho i need to nap#oh maybe i’ll chuck a walk in this plan 4 today somewhere as well.
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nnnnnnnnnnnnno maa'am
#my want to draw traditionally literally split me open for the past week and leaves me literally depressed i'm so serious i can't even look -#- @ my art programs without wanting to throw up omfg should;ve never picked up those pencils#but it's ok i just needed a nap#something so relatable about them i think nelvas has something in it for everyone meanwhile eltl is secluded art museum.#it's very possible to walk around in neloth's and talvas' brains but eltl is off limits. they will NOT! get no drawings like this outta me#wtf r they thinking ........#< eltl not nelvas#something nobody on dis earth can understand ..........#talvas wants to live he likes living but neloth's presence is so strong that it overrides and deletes his will to live.#bruuuuuuuuh#i bet the feeling of neloff is in everything he does if they ever part ways he won't be able to fold clothes or anythign without wanting -#- 2 cry . for what reason . idk bc neloth once yelled at him for folding clothes like shit .what am i on rn#(talvas thoughts mode) I want this old man to hug meeee😢😢😢#NELOFF DO IT and smash him too before i do it first .#me and neloth are the same person tho so it doesn;t matter but w/e#i'm getting emotional over them right now this cannot be real#i love her .... (Skyr1m)#i opened the game for .5 minutes today to take pics of a character uight what a beautiful game.#Te/s having such extensive lore ruins the whole entire game and the franchise but whatever . skyr1m is an art piece that's just how i feel#also this might be a very hard pill to swallow for some people but t*lvas is literally a kin Vessel for young women that keep getting -#- hit on by men twice or thrice their age when they're just trying to live their life .#this feels so profound to me i need dis shit inmy discord bio right NOEW.#Talvas................................#(eyes watering) (holding palm out)#suicide //#just in case but this tag would've gone crazy with my drawings of ulfr*c from late 2022 where i drew him with slit wrists. very artsay#is it not. i didn't like neither of those drawings tho i need to revisit cus i can feel ulfr*c on a diffaraaant level#when will i run out of tags. the way you can tell i just LUH talvas look at me drawing his hair in that second pic 😑BRU#look at me also trying to replicate pencils digitally in the first.. hmmm i don't hate it#at least it soothes me and i don't have pencil withdrawal
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lol i think it is kinda funny how often we take our favorite overworked little guy (gender neutral ) and just go oh yeah he (gender neutral) hasn't slept in a month and his blood is now coffee and redbull but said guy (gender neutral) is just functioning mostly normally but with no filter
#rambles#no hate tho#i love doing this#but also at the same time I do think it'd be pretty cool to see some like actual repercussions for said sleep deprivation....#this is about fox by the way#and also tim drake#cuz let's be real we *need* sleep to function and three years of a horrible sleep schedule will definitely fuck you up#...not speak from experience for legal reasons#even genetically modified super soldiers need their nap time#oooh wait... this could work so good in a post war au kinda thing#if you have fic recs pls send I need to project so bad rn
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oh yeah red envelope WIP btw
#bakuspeech#dragon unchibification. dragon debabyfication#love the idea of finishing this not even labeling a year or anything. giving this out as is#finding a red-green color key that doesnt look christmasy is. not easy. but its such a good combination I had to try#this kicked my ass for a While. this is like the 10th or 11th try#was drafting it inbetween comms n such. it kept coming out extremely fuckign dopey n awkward#this is workin tho. I am def keeping this#man. it turns out to be really fun to make this for fun and just because. the new year occasion#mmm. there are things to sketch today. but I do need a nap rn#have a good day lads! thats it no special reminder today. just hope ur doin well. enjoy time
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i didn’t log in tonight but i’m too sleepy to do any writing so i’m just laying in my bed thinking about fic which is kind of like writing. right
#i really am so sleepy i’ve been v bad about sleeping this week lol#i ate dinner and then took a nap. like a baby#also i was looking for some. spicier prompts bc im in the mood to practice that rn but don’t know what to do#but prompt list these days…#i need a text post tag#i do need to get to my computer tho but i’m cozy 😔
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guys i overpromise and underdeliver ik but like. um., yeah i dont even get time to log into tumblr rn but ill be free for a week soon and there will be spam (i hope)
#im genuinely so tired oml#NOTA VENT#i think#anyways life is Not Good tbh apart from the three people i interact w/#and then i thanked (most of) my friends for being friends#not my bsf tho cs i dont want her 2 worry#and tthen i sat down to Think#a part of me was like#kys its funny#obvioudly i did Not#bc im here rn#imnot even depressed or anything i just need to nap 24hrs straight#k back to studying#im so unbelievably stressed#mock season is coming up too#i NEED these grades to fix themselves god#yap yap
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Doc diagnosed me with
✨Probably Depression✨
and prescribed
🌙More Sleep🌙
Me: Doc, ok, do u have a magic pill that can make me feel less like dying so I can work more
Doc: U need to sleep and exercise and eat healthy
Me: :(
#YukiPri rambles#tw: depression#(probably)#And the very helpful diagnosis above cost me $80+!#i love my doc but man i know i need more sleep i want it constantly it's like all i want nowadays#problem is tho i can't get it ain't it#Anyway i'm eating McD rn so that rules out healthy eating#I thought about taking a walk but i got like 3 hours of sleep so i desperately want to nap#if i can only exercise or sleep which do i choose huh#both never seems to be an option...
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can i request a stereotypical white boy? 😭 name and looks are up to you but make sure to give them traits like active, bro etc 🤭
HAHA omg anon 😭😭
here's a little sneak peek ;)
#does he look like the stereotypical white boy?? 😭😭#i went on pinterest and typed tiktok boys#but they were giving 2020 eboy#i couldn't go through it the cringe was unbearable lmao#i got this ask a few days ago i think??#my sense of time is fucked rn#i've been working on my assignment for two days straight#BUT I FINALLY SUBMITTED IT YESTERDAY AND HAD THE BIGGEST FATTEST NAP EVER#i am now free <33#gonna work on a few requests#i have one sim request and one build request#NEED TO FIGURE OUT THE FLOORPLAN FOR THE BUILD REQ THO#i'll do it at the airport tomorrow#i'm going homeeeee for the hols!!!!#sim reqs#gem rambles
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someone took my night owlness from me
#☆— yapping#so sleepy and it's only 1 am#i've been sleepy all day today#more so than usual unfortunately#kept taking naps at like 9 am 10 am 11 am 2 pm#probably some other times too but yeah#i could not stay awake for the life of me#took a 20 minute nap that i just woke up from#and now idk what to do#raging headache all day today tho#worse than normalll#it truly feels like my head being pounded into the wall#i need to think of an answer for zevie too#very interesting question has me thinking hard#but my brain cant work rn#oh well that's what the weekends for anyways#gonna sleep for half the day yippeee#hopefully hopefully#maybe gn idk might pass out rn
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Despite all odds, I have arrived home safely👍
Turns out that the earlier goop was the better goop. The adderall goop. The adderall has worn off now though. So I am. Very incredibly out of it.
But I am home. And I will take my quick shower. And then I will climb into bed.
I do need to eat. But... later...
#speculation nation#im the special kind of tired where im more tired than hungry#which is to say my every cell is yelling at me to get some fucking sleep.#and i dont think id be much more successful at eating rn than i was this morning.#i ate. half a can of chef boyardee. which was half bc i was so focused on typing and half bc i could barely stomach it.#so i at least ate Something. but not as much as normal.#i did have an ensure in the middle of the day. so theres some nutrients too at least.#i'll eat after i get a few hours of sleep. when the edge is no longer so desperate.#and hopefully i'll be able to stomach things better then.#honestly have all nighters always been this hard or am i just getting older? i havent actually pulled an all nighter since uhhh#well there was kind of one on dead dad day. but that day sucked just in general.#last time i think was april '23 when i read t.rimax volume 9-14 within a 24 hour period while also finishing a final presentation.#even then tho i got like 2 hours of sleep. it was still pretty rough though.#like ok i guess those times were pretty awful and also i did get at least some sleep. which is more than today.#so it makes sense for me to be in worse shape rn. i also didnt get as much sleep the night before last as i wanted to#i got... ...maybe 4 hours sleep??? ummm. which isnt a good thing actuslly. no wonder im so fucking exhausted.#i can barely type right now i will be honest. it was so hard to bike home. it took all my focus to not drive off a bridge#or get pushed into traffic by wind. oh boy the wind sure did try.#then i almost tripped down the stairs at my apartment after grabbing the mail bc i Briefly was focused on my mail 🙄#barely present. total mess. but at least im home. and i already did all the thinking i need to do today.#i was brave. i perservered. i was tempted to give up around 6 am ish but i was like No. this is getting done TODAY.#so i did it. i turned it in. and i so bravely did my in class work for my 2nd class. even though i was so mentally not present the whole way#i did my thinking... i am home... rest soon.#actually its kind of funny im lying on my couch rn and i think if most other ppl were in my current state theyd fall asleep right here.#but the power of my insomnia is so. powerful. i am not at risk of falling asleep without meaning to.#only time thats ever actually happened are like. a handful of times i was like. the most tired ive ever been in my life. etc etc.#in fact idk how well i'll be able to fall asleep for my nap. i certainly couldnt last night despite how hard i tried.#hopefully this time... i am truly tired enough....pls i need to rest i am so tired 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
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Insomnia hasn't had me do a full night of absolutely no sleep in a bit
kinda wouldn't have minded if last night hadn't been one tho
#text post#i have not slept since my last power nap around 4 something yesterday afternoon#got dishes done and Housemates morning coffee done tho#sliced up some leftover pizza place bread and had that for an early lunch with one of the cupcakes i made#got my first med of the day taken so that's done#also spiked the shit out of the cupcake with some tincture so hopefully that will encourage my body to pass out#it'll suck wasting that time to get other things done but my sleep schedule has been so rough#that i think maybe i just need to take the sleep whenever it happens#... maybe not whenever whenever like crossing the street or something#(i say as if i leave the house often enough to do that lmao)#I'm not even tired rn what is Wrong with me
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blood pressure so low i wake up from a nap i didnt know i was taking unable to tell if the lights are off or if i just cant see
#text#g talks#woke up earlier today like ah. not great.#the lights were on btw my body just gave up for the day lol#i ate some chicken just now tho n that blood pressure is raising to a normal level so fast rn i feel kinda sick#almost like i need ot lay down n take a nap...
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Sobbing I wish Leona was real 😿😿
#💭 — ⌗nervo rambles . ★#ughhhh I need to do chores stillll#I didn't do them earlier bc Tuxiedo came up on my bed layed by my pillow and let me rest my head by him sooo#I took like an hour long nap#trying to stall bc I just do NOT feel like dealing with anyone rn and my sister and her friend are wandering and hghhhhh#I'm a bit weird after naps ngl. easily irritated and stuff.. maybe easily overstimulated too but idk abt that#noise pisses me off tho I'll say that much
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going to a comedy open mic tomorrow mostly to watch my friends (it's at a cool venue that my improv troupe performs at once a month and a few improv troupe friends are doing standup there) but when these friends were asking if i'd be interested in coming they were like "btw there's usually a ton of open spots on show days if YOU want to do something... and they're not strict about it only being standup either, people have done character pieces and sketches etc like they embrace the weirdness... and they're not strict about time limits you could probably do anything between three and eight minutes... sometimes if there's not enough people signed up they'll even let you go twice..." and i'm like god damn it i thought i was gonna take a break from aubrey but this setup is like tailor made for an aubrey appearance lmao
#still on the fence about it bc the burnout i experienced at the beginning of may extended to aubrey#especially bc so much of my aubrey stuff is comedy about gender and my brain was more in ''set everything on fire'' mode#and i think i've gotten to a good place with that burnout but i still haven't worked on any aubrey stuff since i got home from college#but even still even tho my mental health is better than it was a few weeks ago#recently i have had this horrible insomnia where i haven't been able to fall asleep at night in over a week#(i've made up for it with naps but still i am not mentally 100% rn. i've tried so many things and nothing has worked.)#so that's my justification for *not* doing aubrey tomorrow. however.#i reeeally need to get more performance experience bc there's only so much you can develop a sketch character without performing them#and this venue is so good. it's an art gallery like an hour away that's designed to be part gallery and part performance venue#especially for comedy. like the venue owner is this veteran comedian who used to work with bobcat goldthwait and a lot of other big names#and it's a low-pressure environment bc everyone there has seen me do comedy before with my improv troupe#but they still haven't seen me do aubrey at all so it's bringing a new side of my comedy to some of my main collaborators#like this is so much better than my previous aubrey performances bc they were all either#1. shows in CLASSROOMS with a bunch of my classmates who generally don't get my comedy (very clique-ish)#or 2. a guest spot on a show at a coffee shop where everyone knew each other except me#plus the biggest thing for me is the lack of a strict time limit. like as much as having a good 3-minute monologue can be#i think aubrey is a character you need to get to know a bit longer than 3 minutes. and a lot of my stuff is long while also being very tigh#like not every monologue is like this but my best aubrey monologues are almost like aubrey is telling you a sitcom storyline#and removing too many lines makes the whole narrative jenga tower fall over#and as much as i want to figure out how to make every monologue a good starting point#having the chance to perform multiple monologues if i get to go twice so that they can build off each other would be perfect#idk i'm not sure how often the open mics are there. at least monthly tho i might be missing next month's depending on when i'm in toronto#so like this wouldn't really be my only chance. but yeah i'm on the fence about whether to bring aubrey back for a performance tomorrow#i probably wouldn't do new material. i'd do the 5 minute version of my uncle reg monologue bc it's the one that's worked best so far#and if i get to do multiple. maybe i'd do the ''nom de plum'' monologue bc i think it's also very strong#and it has a good callback to uncle reg#but idk i also think doing the song would be very fun and on-theme since it's pride month and the song is a satire of rainbow capitalism#tho i'd probably have to rework the monologue that leads into the song bc even tho i loved the concept i don't think i articulated it well#or i could write an entirely different lead-in and make the previous monologue (''C/H/M'') a separate thing to revise later#which would probably go better and somehow be less work to write. but even so i don't know what the venue's sound setup is
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sigh im on vacation why am i worrying abt writing my fics….
#i think i need to either take a nap or get away from my family briefly#the one thing i hate abt vacations it’s too much together and i NEED to be alone#problematic for today in particular#already been up close to 36hrs and i’ll probablt push myself to stay up more#bc i Need To Be Alone#anyway i think i can pause on dwas im writing the end rn anyway#horrendously behind for itfs week tho
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#rant cw#🌙.txt#i'm genuinely so scared rn 😃 i'm trying to distract myself and have fun but it's so hard#like. i know i'm privileged bc at least i have a safe place to stay and i could make it here before everything got worse#and i know there are people going through much worse than me#but i'm TERRIFIED bc there's a high chance we might actually lose everything this time bc this flood is SO much worse than the last one#and if we lose everything then what the fuck are we gonna do...#how many times are we gonna have to deal with this kind of situation#i couldn't sleep bc i was too anxious and now i'm tired#and i just saw a video of a bunch of cows being DRAGGED by the fcking water and they looked so scared :(#i keep crying i feel so powerless#bc literally the only thing i can do is wait and pray that the damage won't be bad to the point where we can't recover from it#i'm sorry i keep posting about this and again i know i'm more privileged than a LOT of people#but i just need to vent bc i honestly have never felt this scared in my life#i'll try to at least take a nap now tho. i need some rest
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