#riverdale season 5 episode 1

[orrangepoem]

why is there so much music in riverdale ??

[wolfofansbach]

BEING A LIST OF THE THIRTEEN GREATEST RIVERDALE LINES, ON THE OCCASION OF THAT SHOW'S TERMINATION

As our much loved/hated show comes to an end, I feel compelled to record, for posterity, the greatest thirteen pieces of dialogue to spring from the pens of RAS and his henchmen. It was, of course, originally a top ten list, but I simply could not exclude a few of these treasures. Without further ado: 

13. 

“I dropped out in the 4th grade, to sell drugs, to support my nana.” 

“That means you haven't known the triumphs and defeats, the epic highs and lows of high school football.” 

Spoken by: an inmate of Leopold and Loeb Juvenile Detention Center, and Archie Andrews. 

In: 3 x 2 

Yeah, okay, this one had to be on the list. It’s funny, I’ll admit. It’s a great example of the overwrought semi-sincere melodrama that helped make this show so special. It’s low on the list largely because The Normies got their hands on it, so every time I hear someone make a reference I get all “do not cite the deep magic to me, witch.” 

12. 

“No! No! What are we supposed to do now? I’m horny as heck!”

Spoken by: Archie Andrews 

In: 7 x 16

Season 7 is undeniably dreadful, and yet there are diamonds in the rough. The occasion is the failure of a projector, just as Archie and Reggie prepare to watch a pornographic film. The utter desperation with which KJ Apa delivers this line is exquisite. One is made to feel they are witnessing a genuine tragedy. 

11. 

“Tonight, they’re making an exception and debuting a cover of the song my parents claim they were listening to the night Jason and I were conceived.” 

Spoken by: Cheryl Blossom. 

In: 1 x 1 

Really a fantastic line. A wonderful encapsulation of the casual absurdity of Cheryl’s character, and a foretaste of the lunacy we would plumb in later episodes and seasons. 

10. 

“In case you haven’t noticed, I’m weird. I’m a weirdo. I don’t fit in and I don’t want to fit in. Have you ever seen me without this stupid hat on? That’s weird.” 

Spoken by: Jughead Jones

In: 1 x 10

A genuine classic. “High school football” before “high school football.” One is never entirely sure just how sincere the line is meant to be, both on a meta-level and in-universe. A perfect illumination of Jughead’s pretentiousness. It is made all the better by the occasional cuts to Lili Reinhard’s agonized face. 

9. 

“At the last dance, multiple students were murdered.” 

Spoken by: Principal Holden Honey. 

In: 4 x 2

Delivered as an explanation to Toni and Cheryl, as to why there would be no school dance this year. Principal Honey is in fact supremely rational in the cancellation of this dance. This being Riverdale, he is of course treated as an unreasonable tyrant. 

8. 

“Bro, I know all the secrets of this universe.” 

Spoken by: Archie Andrews (evil version)

In: 6 x 5 

Spoken as evil Archie reveals his evil plan to keep the parallel universes apart. KJ Apa’s delivery once again makes this line. He is comically sinister. Strangely, he sells it. 

7. 

“A Vughead kiss, right now, in the present might be precisely what it takes to save a future Bughead from imploding.” 

Spoken by: Jughead Jones. 

In: 2 x 14

One of those lines that both makes me laugh and makes me genuinely angry. This was a fairly early season, and this may have actually been the first line to get me asking, ‘did they genuinely write and deliver that?’ Extra points for use of the atrocious ‘Vughead’ portmanteau ship name rather than ‘Jeronica.’ 

6. 

“I’m the ultimate wild card. I am the daughter of The Black Hood. The nightmare from next door. I’m training with the FBI and I’m coming for you, you psycho bitch.” 

Spoken by: Betty Cooper

In: 4 x 14 

Just delicious. Another one of those lines that leaves you somewhat unsure whether or not the writers understood how genuinely hysterical it was. “The Nightmare from Next Door” sounds like an announcer hyping up a wrestler. Spoken with a raw sincerity by Lili Reinhart. Also points for the heavy homoeroticism between Betty and Donna. 

5. 

“For I am Cheryl Blossom, Queen of the Bees.” 

Spoken by: Cheryl Blossom.

In: 5 x 16. 

This one really doesn’t require any elaboration. 

4. 

“Elijah ascended…and I will, too.” 

Spoken by: Edgar Evernever.

In: 4 x 5. 

Admittedly, this one is only spectacular with context. But in context—the context being that Chad Michael Murray delivers this line while dressed like Evel Knievel and standing in a cartoon rocket right out of a Warner Bros cartoon—it becomes utterly magnificent. 

3. 

“It’s not queer baiting, it’s saving the world.” 

Spoken by: Veronica Lodge. 

In: 6 x 22. 

It’s actually hard for me to decide whether this one is funnier with or without context. Without context it’s wonderful, but it possibly becomes even funnier when you know that the context is that Veronica needs to kiss Cheryl to transfer superpowers into her body so she can turn into a Scarlet Witch knock-off and stop a magic comet summoned by Sephiroth an English wizard who is also the Devil. 

2. 

“If there’s no wedding reception, it means the Gargoyle King has won.” 

Spoken by: Kevin Keller. 

In: 3 x 12.

One of my personal favorites. This is a perfect line because like #3, it requires no real elaboration. There is absolutely no context in which it isn’t hysterical. 

1 .

“Word of my exploits serving Nick his comeuppance has seeped into the demimonde of mobsters and molls my father used to associate with, so the five families are sending their youngest and brightest, their ‘princes,’ as it were to, well, come court the rare Mafia Princess who can belly up to the bar with the big boys.

Spoken by: Veronica Lodge. 

In: 2 x 20. 

This is, in my opinion, the all-timer. Every word is perfect. The rapid-fire alliteration. The use of the word ‘demimonde.’ The entirely unnecessary addition of ‘as it were.’ This is borderline Dr. Seuss. The fact that Camila Mendes delivered it without cracking a smile should have won her an Emmy. No. An Oscar. This line is Riverdale. 

[cinemapix]

RIVERDALE REWATCH Season 1, Episode 5: "heart of darkness" → Veronica Lodge & Cheryl Blossom

[bireggiemantle]

since the finale is today (SCREAMINGCRYINGYELLINGTHROWING UP) I thought it'd be fun to do a Riverdale themed ask game for the girls :)

Riverdale Ask Game

1. Who is your favorite character?

2. Who is your least favorite character?

3. Which season is your favorite, and which plot of that season do you like most?

4. Which season is your least favorite? Why?

5. What is something you wish the show would have done better?

6. Which musical episode is your favorite?

7. If you could pick, which ships would you make endgame?

8. Which ship(s) do you dislike?

9. Which character has your favorite costuming? What's your favorite outfit they wore?

10. Which episode is your favorite? Why?

11. Who do you think is the most underrated character?

12. If you read fanfiction, recommend a fic you love.

13. If you write fanfiction, recommend a fic you're proud of.

14. Which AMV is your favorite?

15. When did you start watching the show?

16. Have you ever cosplayed one of the characters? Would you?

17. What were your thoughts on Rivervale?

18. Do you prefer the Riverteens, Riveradults, or the 50s Riverteens?

19. Who is your favorite parentdale character? Why?

20. What is your favorite quote?

[dudadragneel]

I'm just updating this

So, here's the list I said I'd share.

This is a mess, there's manga, webtoon, kdrama, jdrama, animes, tv series...

Not all of them are whump, some might be just my favorite episodes (probably because the animation was good.

ChaoS Child - 10 (vomit)

Tales of Zestiria - 4 (nausea)

Argevollen - 15 (vomit)

M3 - 3 (vomit)

Mob psycho 2 - 6 (vomit)

Persona 5 - 2,4,5, 15 (pain, injury)

Dororo - 5, 12 (faint, fever)

Fukigen na mononokean tsuzuki - 6 (faint)

Donten ni warau - 3 (nausea)

Darling in the franxxx - 5,6,11,12, 13,15,17, 18,21 (fever, faint, pain)

Duel ep 8 (vomit)

Wolf's rain ep 5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,14

God's Quiz - season 2 ep 12 (vomit)

God eater - 5, 6❤, 9,10 (injury)

Re: zero - 5,8, 10 (vomit)

Sign language - 68 (fever)

Aldnoah zero - 5 (vomit)

Battery chapter 10 (vomit)

Forever mine - 43,44,45,46, 63, 64,65, 69 (collapse)

Kakao 79 - 113-115 (fever)

Plastic memories - 07, 12 ( faint)

Doukyonin - 08 (faint)

Miira - 3,07 (fever faint)

Goboutan - 12 (fever faint)

Plastic Memories - 07 (faint)

Hyouka - 07 (nausea)

Black Lagoon - 1 (vomit)

Full metal Panic Fumoffu - 2, 8 (fever faint)

Knights of sidonia - 2 (vomit, faint)

Fruits basket - 23

Ai yori aoshi - 4

Guardian - 8

My love from another star - 9, 16

Guardian - 8,9,10,12, 19, 20,21, 23, 28

Love shuttle - 2,3,4,5,6,9,10, 11,12 (fever, vomit)

Riverdale - 4season ep 1

GRAND HOTEL - 1Temp - 7 3 TEMP - 2,3, 19,20 (injury)

Tokyo ghoul movie (emeto)

TEEN WOLF- Season 6 ep 6, season 1 - 1,2,6,8,11, season 2 - 6,7,9,10, season 3 - 5,6,11, 13 season 5 - 6,9 , season 6 - 13

RIVERDALE- 1- 10,11,12

Love stage - 9 (fever)

Skip beat - 15 (fever)

Miira no kaikata - 07 (fever)

DETECTIVE CONAN -  49,188,191,193,522,927,928,219, 118,126 (pain - faint)

Bleach - 9

Code breaker - 6

Tada kun - 9 (fever)

Mayonaka no ocult komuin - 1

Omiai (hentai) - 5,6 (fever)

Naruto - 140

DIVE!!- 12 (faint)

Katsute - 09

Beelzebub Ojou - 04

Cagaster -3,4,5

Pinocchio - 5,12,13

Itaewon class - 10 (emeto)

Richard - 10

Kakafukaka - 5 (emeto)

Uzaki - chan - 3 (fever)

Titan's bride - 4

Grisaia - ep 1 & 3 (vomit)

The God of Highschool - ep 5 (vomit)

Run with the wind - 8 (fainting), 18 ,19,20 (fever)

Kanojo okarishimasu - 73 (emotional breakdown/vomit)

Inuyasha - 18, 19, 20, 21, 28, 32, 42,45, 46, 51, 57,58, 70, 78, 82, 87, 90, 89, 107, 113, 117, 122, 125, 126, 132, 137, 138, 140, 146, 155, 156, 161, 162, 163, 164, 167

Umibe no etranger - 7

Kkondae intern - 8

One piece 78, 79, 80, 81, 82, 83

Kekkai sensen - ep 4, 5, 8

Kekkao sensen and beyond - 9

Tensei shitara slime datta ken - 10,11,13

Persona 5 - 2,4,5, 15

Dororo - 5, 12

Fukigen na mononokean tsuzuki - 6

Donten ni warau - 3

Darling in the franxxx - 5,6,11,12, 13,15,17, 18,21

Naruto shippuden - 9,11,17,18,19,20,23,24,25,26,29,30,31, 39,40,41,42,43,44,45,49,50,52,56,68,70,71,73,74,75,79 ❤,80 😢,81,82😢, 84 ,85 🤯,86, 87 🤯🤯, 88🤯,89

Fruits bqsket ep 12j

13 reasons why - 4×02

WHUMP

ChaoS child - 10

Tales of Zestiria - 4

Argevollen - 15

Kimetsu no yaiba - 12

The K2 - 4

Healer - 6,12, 13,14

Train 2020 - ep 2 (emeto)

Pinocchio 4, 12, 18

One piece - 566, 567, 568, 569, 570, 597(Law) 598, 599,600,601,602

Jujutsu kaisen - 23 (megumi vomit)

Taishou otome - ep 2

One piece - nebulandia, 3d2y

True beauty - 5 (panic attack)

Casualty - series31 ep 34 (vomit)

Love and leashes - slight gag

Attack on titan - season 1 ep 3 (eren gags)

Tokyo ghoul movie - emeto

Hamatora (emeto)

Boruto - 234- 236 (emeto)

Anatomy of a scandal - 3 (emeto)

Slam dunk - 8,9,10,11,15,16(whump),23,24💜,25,28,29,30,33,38,39,40,42,43,44😭,45,46,48,49(whump),51,52,53,54,55,56,57,58(w),59😭,60,61,62,63,65,66,67,70,71(w),72(w)73,74,75,76,77,79,81,82,84😭

My strange friend (c-drama) - ep 14 (emeto)

Miss Hammurabi (K-drama) - ep 12 (emeto)

Lucky Romance (k-drama) - ep 9 (emeto/panick attack)

Goodbye Mr. Black (kdrama) - 18 (emeto)

Your honor - 19+20 (emeto)

Outlander - season 3 ep 9 (emeto)

2gether the series - 13 (emeto)

Kimi no tonari de yurarete (emeto?)

Stranger things - s1e4 - Jonathan gags

Kinnporsche - 2, 4 (emeto)

Time (drama) - 4 and 6 (emeto)

- my strange friend (c drama -youtube) - ep 16 (emeto)

- stranger things - s1ep8 (not really emeto but the scene gave me whumperflies)

- Kinnporsche - 02,04 (emeto)

- Banana Fish - 5 (nausea - I know but like, the scene gave me whumperflies)

- Chainsaw Man - 1 (blood), 6 (blood)

- Romantic Killer - 6 (slight panic attack) 11 (emeto)

- Aku No Hana - 8, 11 (emeto)

- Kimetsu no Yaiba - Mugen Train movie and season 2 episode 1

[gayofthefae]

Finally feel satisfied with how they're gonna do it, because I realized the common thread of all the failures to execute love triangle endings and it's what I ALWAYS talk about: SHOW. VS. TELL.

I'm gonna use Girl Meets World as an example. They did Maya dirty with that. They TOLD us in the end by having her character "realize" that she hadn't ever actually had a crush on him, she had just been having an identity crisis and copying her best friend. In a rewatch, I didn't find this. Not to mention, it's spelling it all out for us as the first reveal. It doesn't play as a reveal. It plays as forced. You should be able to predict, especially with romance, at least a little bit. You should suspect whatever is true. Because the most credible narrator is yourself. If you never had a single moment where you doubted her feelings for him, then you won't believe her when she tells you they were fake. If you had even one, they're validating suspicions purposefully planted in her behavior.

The other situation is the marketing love triangle that's played too much into the writing. There are too many to count so I won't name one. To digress briefly, though, shout-out to Riverdale for looking like that and then going "what? Oh, no. We were playing all sides because we're ON all sides. They're poly." Iconic; respect. ANYWAYS: what this type does is play all sides so much that it's unclear who the character chooses until they do, almost as if it's a choose your own adventure that doesn't pick until the moment of confession. There is no through line, it's just back and forth, therefore whoever the person chooses, it was not "shown" to the audience that their feelings for them were stronger because they played it completely 50/50.

In both cases, the character isn't shown doing things that divulge their inner monologue and then suddenly tells you what it's been the whole time and asks you to take them at their word. The speech feels unmotivated by the character because you were not witness to any build to it, making the motivation seem to convince you, the audience.

A great example of NOT doing this actually already exists in Stranger Things: Will Byers. Will Byers is gay. Also, Will Byers has never said he is gay. But we know. Because of his behavior. His speech even still qualifies as behavior because it is an action he chooses to make based on the motive of something tied to his queerness. His actions stem from a common, visible motive, but one never spoken. This is quite easy to do and they have shown an ability to in the past.

An important detail to note is that everyone I've seen believes that Will has been gay from the beginning as they tell us, whether it was visible early on or not. They trust the show because they trust themselves, and they're the ones who sussed it out. I'm sure there's SOMEone SOMEwhere but I have been here for two years now and heard nary a peep about Will's gayness coming out of nowhere since season 4.

All season 5 needs to do is show the audience before they tell them. All they need to do is have that moment where audiences go "wait a second....pshh, no.........wait" on their own, so that telling them is confirmation and not surprise. I think people who say it would be forced think we're advocating for an episode 1 kiss. I know damn well that would be as horrible and forced pacing as having Will and Jonathan's scene in episode 1. But doing that wouldn't change the fact that he was gay in season 4, it would just be horrible pacing.

All they need to do is provoke you to ask the question yourself. The consistency in people not believing something is true is a) when a characters tells them without having shown them, or b) when an audience member tells them before the character has shown them. It feels forced because it is - right now. But it isn't happening right now. It's a prediction, not a claim that you should have seen it already.

Every time it's felt forced in anything it was "tell". Everytime people have come around even after invalidating it and believed it was true the whole time, it was "show". It's very simple, really. We trust what we're shown, and when we're not shown anything, we trust the last thing we saw and the things we're being told. If we were told something contradictory to the last thing we saw, even if we last saw something 2 seasons ago, we wouldn't trust it - because we haven't been shown anything since. The last we SAW, Mike kissed El. The last we HEARD, he loves her. Show us something else and it'll remind us that we haven't SEEN anything in years, and that what we see is more credible than what we last heard.

It's very easy. And it's very, very consistent. What a relief.

[lover-of-small-things]

top 5 reasons you think i should watch riverdale go:

HI BESTIE ❤️❤️❤️ this is genuinely such a hard task because i have so many reasons. but for you i will narrow it down to five AND focus mainly on season one :

1) it's a creative writer's dream. the unreliable narrator is one of the main characters and his viewpoint molds and shapes the way the story is told. the dead boy in the river at the beginning of the show is an integral character to the story but we never see him speak. every character has a history that we only learn when it's forced out of them like pulling teeth. the town itself is alive and it is obsessed with the main characters and its love is so desperate and human that it destroys them. time is warped. every character experiences the story through a different genre. everyone is self aware and no one is aware of anything.

susan sontag might call riverdale the perfect representation of camp: it takes pleasure in the simple things; it unabashedly loves what it's doing; and it wholeheartedly makes references to what inspires it. you want a revelatory break? an open conversation with the impact of comic book legacy? an ongoing dialogue about the morality of creation? a consideration of the way literature and a love for/obsession with literature contours the way you view life? look no further. riverdale's got it all.

2) it's absolutely devastating. a boy drowns in the river and no one knows what happened to him, and no one ever really knew him except his sister, and no one is free enough from the thumb of authority to ask questions except for a bunch of kids. a little boy is groomed by his music teacher and he learns that his body is useless beyond its ability to take a hit and look pretty doing it. all he ever wanted to do was be a good son and a good friend and play guitar. a little girl is lied to and manipulated and alone and she thinks she's going crazy trying to play the part of the perfect daughter, the perfect sister, the perfect girl next door.

a little girl moves to a strange town where everyone hates her father, and she's lost and unmoored and trying to reinvent herself, and she's desperately trying to be good even as everyone around her chooses their history over her love. a little girl loses her twin brother and is lost, hated, and manipulated by her abusive parents while she desperately tries to figure out what in the world is happening around her, and she's so lonely. so lonely. a little boy, homeless and abused and hungry and cold, grapples for control while his life burns down around him, and turns to writing as a form of escape and a way to make sense of his world.

riverdale knows it's a lot sometimes. it knows it can be ridiculous. but underneath the glitz and glamor, you're left with a small fistful of breathtakingly real characters who you can't help but empathize with. who you can't help but love. who you can't help but to want to understand.

3) it's so fun! as heartwrenching as riverdale can be, one of its best parts is that it's simply so much fun to watch. there are musical episodes. there's a mafia movie plotline. and a gangster movie plotline. and a sci fi alien movie plotline. there are cults and evil dnd games and flashbacks to the 80s. the kids do ridiculous, grown-up things like meddling in murder investigations and uncovering hidden town truths, but they also go to prom and run the school newspaper and try out for the cheerleading squad and tackle stage fright and fight with their parents. they go to drive-ins! and perform in a talent show! and meet their friends' weird ass families!

there are episodes told like horror stories. episodes framed like comic books. episodes where stories and imaginations come to life. silly episodes, filler episodes, straight-up fun episodes. in this era of tight, eight-ep seasons that are meant to be a movie chopped up haphazardly so it can fit run times, who is doing it like riverdale?

4) it plays with the american gothic. this small town is corrupt to the core. it was built on violence and bloodshed and hatred. everyone thinks it's perfect. they're not all wrong; there are still legacies of love here despite the rot that runs through everything. the outsiders are the enemy. the outsiders are not the enemy, but it's easier to pretend they are so we don't have to confront ourselves. the nuclear family is not terrifying because it can be infiltrated by evil, it is terrifying because there is something inherently evil about it. when you anger the town, it traps you with an impenetrable fog. you can't trust your friends. you can't trust your parents. you can't trust the police. everyone knows everyone. you're trapped. you love it here. you should move. you can never really leave. this town loves you. it wants to eat you alive.

5) it's very silly. i'm weird i'm a weirdo. the epic highs and lows of high school football. word of my serving nick his comeuppance has made its way to the demimonde of mobsters and molls my father used to associate with. it's not queerbaiting, it's saving the world. i'm training with the fbi and i'm coming for you, you psycho bitch. again, WHO is doing it like riverdale? my beloved riverdale my best friend riverdale. every single silly line from this show makes me so overwhelmed with fondness for it and you should join me so you can experience the absolute love i have for her too.

[rythmicjea]

Archie's Dream 5x04

Should I be finishing up my chapter for Narwals? Yes. Am I? No. Instead, I can't get Archie's dream out of my head. Season 5 is considered to be "the worst" season. That's because the majority of people don't understand it. There are so many layers to this season. It's like a 14 hour long episode of the X-Files. If you take episodes 1-3 to really be the end of season 4 (and we all should) it's the shortest season out of all of them.

The show needed to get everyone back together in Riverdale. That's how shows like this work. The impetus is Archie's dream. On the surface it's a warning that Riverdale is in trouble. The soul of Riverdale is on the verge of collapse. And yes, that is true. Get closer though, and you start to see the shadows underneath.

The dream opens in the boys locker room of Riverdale High. Archie Andrews is giving his team a pep talk before the game. His voice is darker, deeper, it's that of a drill sergeant. He prepares them saying it's not going to be easy. That they have never faced anything like it but they cannot be afraid. He barks, "Do you know why?" And they answer "Because we're Bulldogs!"

The camera lingers on Reggie. Why Reggie? Here's the thing most people don't recognize about Mantle the Magnificent. He may not like you, but if you go to Riverdale, you're a Bulldog. And he will defend any Bulldog for any reason. That's why he's so offended and incensed that Jughead wears his Serpent's jacket. Because to him, Jughead is spitting in Riverdale's face. Jughead is one of Riverdale's sons and that should mean more.

We see the General tell them that their mission is to save their fallen brother. The next shot is of a football field as No Man's Land (the stretch of land between two trenches in war). There are football players in the background running plays. There are bombs going off and artillery fire whizzing by. I am an avid football fan. I grew up on Ohio State football. A football game is often referred to as a "battle". You'll hear phrases like "Battle on the Grid Iron". Each game is life or death for the players and the fans. But this is more than just a football game. This is actual life or death.

Reggie goes down. Shot in the chest from enemy fire. This is representative of how Reggie is on the "wrong" side in the season. He's aligned himself with Hiram. He doesn't care for the town and the school that he once loved so deeply.

Archie is then flown into the air by a bomb. He doesn't want to go further. He doesn't think he can. You would think that he would look at his target. Instead, he sees Cheryl. She's in her Vixens uniform. And while you can hear the squad cheering, Cheryl isn't speaking. She smiles at him, with tears in her eyes, nodding at him to go forward. Why is she here? They weren't particularly close. Why would she care about his mission? Because Cheryl has lost a brother. She knows that pain of not being able to help and the guilt that comes with surviving. She can't let Archie go through that.

Then we see the fallen soldier. We don't know his identity until Archie gets to him. It's Jughead. A chest wound pouring out blood. His heart was broken by his first love and his best friend. Jughead only says one line and it is "I just need a little help". We come to learn in the season that Jughead has become an alcoholic. His line is one that many addicts say. It's so simple to believe that with just a little help they can overcome their affliction. A lot of times it's said to get a fix. Just a tiny one to help get through the withdrawal.

On the sidelines is everyone who loves Jughead. The Serpents, Betty, Veronica, and Pop. They're all cheering for Archie to do what needs to be done. And at the last moment we see Hiram standing with a gun pointed at Archie. In the first four seasons it was always about Archie vs Hiram. But everyone forgets that the actual thorn in Hiram's side was Jughead. It's Jughead that exposes him. It's Jughead that picks up the pieces of his parental duties for Veronica. It's Jughead who is willing to risk everything to see Hiram exposed for all of his corruption and evil deeds. And Hiram knows it. But Hiram can't do anything to Jughead without exposing himself. That's why he willingly lets Jughead take himself to the slaughter against the ghoulies. Hiram was behind riot night. And that gunshot wound in Jughead's chest? Who's to say it wasn't Hiram who pulled the trigger?

Archie's dream tells the story of season 5. There's many reasons for him to come home. He declares that Riverdale is "dying" and they need to save it. But it's not Riverdale that he has to save, it's Jughead. He hasn't spoken to Jughead in seven years. When he calls his three friends, Betty and Veronica drop what they are doing immediately to answer. Jughead is the only one who hesitates. We never see him answer. Jughead is the most reluctant to stay.

NO ONE on the show knows how to handle an addiction. Not even Jughead. He knows how to take care of his father but it was never his responsibility to save his father. And FP? FP gets sober cold turkey. He falls off the wagon at his retirement party. He is magically able to handle alcohol responsibly. That's not how addiction works.

Archie offers Jughead a place to stay and a teaching position at the school. Archie lets him go when he needs to go back to New York without any questions asked. Archie is the subliminal support system that was taken from Jughead at the end of high school. He doesn't know what to do exactly (and he has his own issues - PTSD) but he can do the passive things to help his brother.

After seven years of silence, Archie has a dream that tells him his best friend and brother is in danger and he's the only one who can help. And if that's being an invitation back to a safe place and a warm bed then he does it without hesitation. To many Archie IS Riverdale. He is the heart of the town. But, Jughead put Riverdale on the map. Jughead is the town's conscience. To Archie, Jughead is Riverdale.

[jugheadvarchoni]

Ranking every Riverdale Season (from worst to best)

Reminder: this is just MY opinion. Feel free to share your own!

7. Season 5

With the exception of the first 3 episodes (which I just consider to be part of 4), this season was just a huge nothingburger disappointment. The idea of a time jump was cool, and it even started out okay. Then it quickly went off the rails and not only fell back into repeat territory but the jump itself was just executed so poorly… I was beyond done with Hiram villain stuff atp. The Mothmen were fine, just nowhere near as good as the Gargoyle King or Black Hood for me. Too many characters are written TOO awfully (especially the queer characters) and sometimes it feels like they tried to cram way too much into it. It just leaves the season feeling bloated and incoherent. Best parts by far were Toni getting a big role and the introduction of Tabitha.

Still, those weren’t enough to save the season imo. Overall S5 felt the least like Riverdale to me & it was lowkey boring a lot, so it gets last place. Boo. 🍅

6. Season 4

I’m actually so serious when I say I really love this season. S5 is probably the only one I dislike, the rest of these can change at the drop of a hat lol.

The main reason I’m putting S4 here is that it was very hit or miss with my enjoyment of the storylines. Jughead’s stuff at Stonewall was okay. Cheryl got another unhinged story when she should’ve been getting therapy, Archie’s story was mind-numbing, The Auteur was creepy and great until it was revealed to be Jellybean (wah-wah-wah). Maybe it has to do with COVID throwing things off, but the whole season was just a little lackluster and disjointed. Also, TICKLE-PORN?????

The tribute to Luke Perry was beautiful tho. Miss him. 💔

5. Season 1

ALRIGHT. Before you pull out those pitchforks, just hear me out. It’s an incredible season, it’s the most well-written, the tone was amazing, and it set everything up perfectly.

But I do think that because it’s only the first season, and because it’s so short, a lot of the dynamics I personally love just don’t exist. Toni isn’t on the show yet. And I feel like part of what made Riverdale stand out, WAS the craziness and the willingness to do literally anything remotely cuckoo, which S1 just didn’t have. I’m just personally very attracted to wackiness of the other seasons. It’s a little overrated.

But again, this still season is INCREDIBLE and I’m still obsessed with its’ vibes.

4. Season 7

Don’t hurt me. 😭

But buckle up, because I have a lot to say here.

I REALLY had such a good time with this season… I mean, the Choni of it all is really want gets me obsessively thinking about this season on a daily basis. The way they were treated in the first half is everything I wished for them back in the earlier seasons. If this were a ranking based on Choni throughout the seasons, S7 would be #1. Kevin also got a ton of great stuff. S7 was so kind to the queer characters… Other than them, I just love how they got to have FUN. They took us back in time and basically just put the characters into an old-timey Archie Comic. Ridiculous but entertaining side plots that actually kept me interested and put the characters in a totally new environment. And despite the fact that people seem to want to ignore this, they ARE still the characters we’ve known and loved since S1, they just didn’t remember. But the memories are still there, and still inform all of their decisions and relationships.

Unfortunately, my biggest gripe with S7 is the way it feels disconnected to the rest of the show overall. They really let the comet story flop hard. Even if we decided to stay in the 50s in the end, we should’ve had way more time with our characters with their memories. They should’ve had conversations that were long overdue, that circle back and bring things to a close, the way final seasons should. I would’ve preferred they go back to the present, but in an altered timeline due to all the changes made to their lives. Tabitha was WASTED and thrown away and it makes me so mad tbh. They chickened out with the Varchie vs Barchie thing and instead we got that dumbass polycule and everyone dating everyone only for literally no one to end up with anyone (except Choni & Clevin uwu). The later half is especially a letdown, because that’s when we should’ve been ramping up to the end with their memories and certain people coming back together. Instead, we just got a lot of randomness. Which, while fun, doesn’t make for a good final season imo.

I think this season would’ve been ranked in my top 3 had it NOT been the final one…

It’s such a polarizing season for me and that’s why it’s smack dab in the middle!

3. Season 2

What a lot of people consider the glory days lol.

Everything that was well-established in S1 was built on and just made even better. The dynamics between the core four and each one of their storylines was spot on and interesting. Black Hood is probably the most interesting mystery villain we ever had on the show and delving deeper into the Cooper family was great. The slasher horror movie vibes with Black Hood’s story & his victims were just elite.

The season was darker and full of lots of twists and turns, which I always appreciate to keep my on my toes. We got introduced to Toni and Choni was born!

It did have some meh stuff tho, the Archie vs Hiram wasn’t all that interesting to me in this season, even though I DO like Hiram a lot. He’s always been an intriguing character to me, I just think he was severely overused. I also don’t like Bughead lol. The Chic stuff is hit or miss. It was bordering on crazy, but not quite at that sweet spot yet.

Overall this season was more exciting and deeper than even the likes of S1. And this is, of course, where we started getting into the Southside Serpents and the gang wars, which I think is such an iconic aspect of the show. Just a fun, deeper, more interesting season for me!

2. Season 6

I’m a sucker for witches and magic and time travel shenanigans, so this season was RIGHT up my alley. Rivervale, Sabrina, the spookiness, Cheryl’s witch arc, Percival was great, Tabitha getting to shine, I loved SO much of this season. Having one villain, that they all focus on I think did wonders for the cohesiveness of the season. Almost everyone got involved in it, there weren’t as many tangential storylines, and the buildup to the comet was so much fun. It was the perfect blend of camp and wackadoodleness and serious life/death stuff.

The worst part for me, is the ships. Tangs being a plague on society and them making Toni’s whole storyline about being a mother (a bad, awful one ugh). Fangs was never a standout to me, but they just made him insufferable this season. The custody battle was insanely stupid and a waste of time. “Baby Anthony” sucked (Dale FTW). Barchie has always bored me. Cheryl/Heather just felt like besties lol. The ships suffered hard in this season lol.

Still, we got Choni confirmed soulmates and Thabigail + Jughead/Tabitha were cute. So that aspect wasn’t ALL bad.

Tonally, it’s soooo different from the other seasons but I think they strike a better balance between mystery villainous plot and campiness than the other seasons. I ate up the supernatural and horror stuff, the plot is one of the most consistent in the whole show, there’s good character development and I just loved the craziness. They easily redeemed themselves after that abysmal S5. 🙏

1. Season 3

Ahhh PEAK insanity. Wild, compelling, dark but also silly af sometimes. The show went off the rails in the best way and I have a blast every time I watch it. A true fever dream. They embraced the crazy and I think that’s what sets it apart from all the other seasons. Imo, there isn’t a single “bad” episode here. They were still in high school, giving us that teenage drama/those dynamics that made Riverdale what it is. My fav ships were together (not without their drama), there was an intriguing mystery with the Gargoyle King. The flashback episode with the parents was amazinggggg and I loved everything about the Gryphon’s and Gargoyle’s storyline and how it trickled down to affect so many people. The atmosphere of the season, the main cast that got focus and actually got to have screentime together, Heathers heing probably their strongest musical. I love it SO MUCH.

There are some weaker points tho. There is a lot that happens this season, like A LOT. But I enjoyed it so much that I lowkey give it a pass for being so convoluted. Dilton was wasted and killed off after not getting much in general. Bughead & Veggie suck. I wish the G&G and Cult stuff had been intertwined better.

An organ harvesting cult led by Chad Michael Murray? Archie fighting a bear? Mass seizures? Babies thrown into a fire and then levitating? Veronica opening a speakeasy as a teenager? Choni cat burglars? Archie in juvie? Bunker sex? Speakeasy sex? Fizzle rocks? Killer DnD? THE EPIC HIGHS AND LOWS OF HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL?

I-C-O-N-I-C. Riverdale is at its best for me when it doesn’t care about being a normal gritty teen show. Maybe this season was a little messier, but I think the sheer fun and craziness more than makes up for that. Everytime I rewatch this season, I enjoy the crap out of it and am reminded why I love these characters and this silly little show so much. ♥️

So to recap:

S3 > S6 > S2 > S7 > S1 > S4 > S5

P.S: if there’s a major typo or I put something in the wrong season, lemme know. I just regurgitated this all from memory when I woke up so my thoughts were hella jumbled…

[doctorcurdlejr]

angel tabitha really pulled out the riverdale logoless soft/happy scenepack all characters seasons 1-6 (mega link in the description)

when they said they wanted the happy cut and she was like ummm yeah no i think i can do that! she wasn't talking about angel magic. she was in the sweet hereafter with her external hard drive running hotter than hell and adobe premiere crashing every 5 episodes. maybe she even made some AMVs while she was at it. what songs do you guys think she chose

[jupitermelichios]

What the fuck is Riverdale actually about anyway?

that's not an easy question to answer, but I've been asked it a lot, so I'm going to do my best.

disclaimer: while the plot summaries are accurate, my interpretation of the themes is just my interpretation. other fans might disagree, and that's valid. unless it's about season 6. if you disagree with me about season 6, you're wrong. archie literally sings bread and roses. union busting is compared to mass murder. that one's not up for debate.

Season 1

[ID: a promo image for riverdale season 1, showing the characters of betty, veronica, and archie in the diner, while cheryl, josie, and jughead pose dramatically outside the window. The words 'riverdale series premier tonight' are superimposed over the picture]

The Plot: the murder of a highschool student leads his classmates to discover that the adults in their small town are all hiding dark secrets. also there's a love triangle.

What it's actually about: mostly just that, tbh. there's not a lot of subtext in season 1. This is the season where they let showrunner Roberto Aguierra-Sacassa (he of glee and pretty little liars infamy) write stuff, before the writers all barricaded themselves in the writing room and started writing plots which are just about how much they hate him and his ideas

Season 2

[ID: a screencap, showing archie posing with the vigilante gang he starts. the gang is made up of shirtless men wearing red balaclavas. archie is wearing a blue shirt and his face is uncovered, because when you're bating a serial killer it's important to let them know what you look like]

The Plot: A serial killer, the black hood, begins terrorising the town. Jughead accepts his birthright and joins a biker gang. Meanwhile Veronica's gangster father begins trying to take over the town so he can commit crimes with impunity

What it's actually about: this season is mostly a series of increasingly self-aware riffs on different horror and thriller subgenres. It's the transition between the uninspired first season and the genre-parodies that make up the rest of the show, so it's not as tight as other seasons. It does feature an episode which is almost entirely just the writer being real pissed off about aguira-sacassa framing a teacher-student relationship as romantic and consensual in season 1, in which the teacher in question is shown to be a serial abuser and then immediately brutally murdered because of it, and ngl, that was pretty based.

Season 3

[ID: a screencap, showing the main actors playing their character's parents in a flashback to the first gargoyle king murder. the characters are dressed as fantasy stereotypes; a paladin, rogue, warrior-king, nobleman, and wizard. they are pointing their weapons at someone off screen]

The Plot: A new serial killer, the gargoyle king, begins terrorising the town and seems to be connected to a ttrpg which mind controls its players. Meanwhile a cult which claims to allow its members to contact the dead has started recruiting at the school. Also Archie is sent to prison for a murder he didn't commit and forced to participate in an underground fightclub but that only lasts like 5 episodes.

What it's actually about: wouldn't it be ridiculous if the shit people believed during the satanic panic was true? wouldn't that be insane? wouldn't it be unbelievable. wouldn't be insane if, say, a huge portion of trump voters still believed in the satanic panic? tell me you believe in the satanic panic, i dare you, i fucking dare you-

Season 4

[ID: a screencap showing the entire cast dressed as Hedwig from Hedwig and the Angry Inch, with blond wigs, blue eye make-up, denim miniskirts, and high-healed boots]

The Plot: Jughead gets involved in a murderous battle to become the new ghost-writer for a hardy boys parody that ends with him faking his own death. Archie starts a boxing club for underpriviledged youth but Veronica's dad keeps trying to shut it down because he thinks Archie might be going to uncover his illegal paladium smuggling ring. Veronica becomes a bootlegger and opens a speakeasy because she wants her dad to respect her and thinks the only way to get that is by being the fucking worst before she realises that actually he sucks and she shouldn't care what he thinks.

What it's actually about: rich people are the fucking worst and we should probably just kill all of them. Listen. Listen, they're evil. It's very important to all the writers that you know this. They're all evil.

Season 5

[ID: a screencap showing what is referred to in the show as mothman, a boney humanoid with no hair, ridges over its eyes, and boney stubs that may be the tops of wings growing out of its back]

The Plot: following a 7 year timeskip, the gang return to Riverdale as adults and try to stop the town from being discorporated and demolished by Veronica's dad to make way for a new property developement. Betty hunts a serial killer who's been targetting sex workers in the area. Also Cheryl starts a Maple Syrup-themed cult and controls bees with her mind.

What it's actually about: Honestly, this season is mostly just about genre parodies. They're good genre parodies, don't get me wrong, but there's not a lot of coherent theming.

Season 6

[ID: a screencap, showing archie topless and tied to a saint andrew's cross, wearing a crown made of antlers. cheryl is standing in front of him wearing a red robe, elaborate headdress, and holding a knife, as she prepares to sacrifice him to ensure a good maple syrup harvest]

The Plot: after riverdale colides with a parallel universe, the gang find they have developed superpowers which are all related to their key character traits, which they must use to battle an evil wizard called percival pickens who is trying to destroy the world using a magical train. the genre parodies get weird this season, because a lot of them are comics riffs rather than movie or tv riffs. also there's an extended alan wake parody.

What it's actually about: Unionize. Unionize right the fuck now. Why are you not already in a union? Don't you know joining a union will literally improve your changes of getting into heaven? Look at Archie Andrews singing bread and roses and tell me you still think unions are bad you coporate bootlicking piece of shit!

Season 7 (so far)

[ID: a promotional image for season 7, showing betty, archie, and veronica wearing costumes based on the archie comics of the 1950s. They are sitting in the diner, and Berry and Veronica are each holding one of archie's hands]

The Plot: as a result of stopping the evil wizard in S6, the gang are sent back in time to the 1950s with no memory of their previous lives, where they are once again in highschool. Jughead has been told by an angel to make the town more just as this will help the angel bring them back to their own time, but someone is commiting murders and framing kids in the highschool for them. also there's an extended reference to alex hirsch's fight with disney S&P over gravity falls, which I did not see coming

What it's actually about (so far): oh, you think this show would be better if it was set in the 50s? You do know the 50s were the fucking worst, right? You do know the apple pie america the archie comics are set in never existed, right? you do know people who insist the 50s were a great decade are all racist homophobic sexist pieces of shit, right? right?!

[elevenhopperz]

my cousin and i’s “top twenty things from riverdale” (as people who haven’t watched since season 3):

1. “you’re diagnosing me with daddy issues?”

2. jingle jangle

3. dark betty

4. “have you ever seen me without this stupid hat? that’s weird!”

5. jughead and betty’s singing battle/every musical sequence on the show.

6. serial killer genes

7. “because we’re endgame archie.”

8. the farm

9. edgar’s rocketship

10. edgar’s wife pretending to be his daughter.

11. ethel coming back every five minutes

12. chic…that is all

13. the gargoyle king

14. “the triumphs and defeats, the epic highs and lows of high school football.”

15. archie’s bear attack that left almost no scarring.

16. monica posh

17. “archiekinz” and “daddykinz”

18. riverdale season 2 episode 14: “the hills have eyes.”

19. cheryl pouring blood all over herself and threatening her mother.

20. mad world.

[casketears]

edits that i would have made to riverdale if they'd known to hire me

more explicit hiram/archie/veronica. now i know what you must be thinking: how the fuck could it get more explicit than what was already shown, especially since archie is the flavor of oblivious gay that would mean he'd likely shirk any form of homosexual contact with a confused smile and an aha, whoa, did you– did i– no, im straight. yeah. but all the same i'd have liked some more sensual solo scenes with him and hiram. his deteriorated half disinterest in his relationship with veronica in favor of his growing obsession with her dad is good but not perfect. i want them to get touchier and weirder about it. and i want veronica to also get in on it

cheryl as an insane quasi incestuous straight woman. i have never seen a less convincing dyke than as portrayed by madelaine petsch, and i have never seen her have more chemistry with anyone than when she was either a) obsessing over jason, b) using archie as a romantic projection of jason or c) straight up romancing archie in season 7. it's actually absurd. also cheryl is fucking crazy in a commandeering action seeking sort of manner and archie is the ultimate orders boy so you can imagine what a red-haired power couple the two of them could have been. archie go die in my mines yes honey <3

if cheryl had to be a lesbian then at least let her be involved with donna sweett from season 3. no meaningful thoughts here i just think they could have enjoyed each other's weird mind games, writing/painting foils, and overall gothic aesthetics. and i bet donna wouldn't have been so lame about the whole taxidermied twin in the basement thing

more explicit hiram/reggie/veronica. here i do actually mean explicit. i want that boy passed between the two of them like a rebound blunt. i want him spitroasted by the narrative.

speaking of which reggie and archie should have at least made out in season 7 and it's actually preposterous they didn't. i never knew a gay man (the show creator) within a cast of gay characters could queerbait like that.

in the jughead paradox i would have loved to see a taste of the flavor of insanity that would have befallen jason if the roles were reversed and cheryl had been the one to die way back in episode 1. i think about this roleswap a normal amount

more ethel. thank fucking god season 7 gave her justice by letting her escape the narrative but i still wanted to know more about this dnd-obsessive horror artist weird girl (+ betty's arguable half sister)

i would have had reggie actually be groomed by that driving instructor (miss bella) in season 7 rather than have it be a red herring. more horrible parallels to archie etc. also i want him and veronica to stay in that awful toxic rebound-adjacent business partnership forever but that's just me

more on the season 7 mini jughead squad (dilton doiley, ben button, ethel muggs). they hinted at it and never delivered and it makes me lose my mind to think about

REMOVE THE PALLADIUM PLOTLINE. I HAVE NEVER CARED LESS ABOUT ANYTHING IN MY LIFE THAN THAT ROCK.

more detective drake from season 5. she showed up told betty to leave her man and experiment with women and left without even kissing her. also her name sounds like dyke. i miss her so much and also every day.

musical episode ideas: dear evan hansen (smth related to covering a murder and jughead is evan and archie is jared and a gun is in my mouth), bare: a pop opera (featuring gay kevin), in trousers or hadestown (they could never pull either off but i'd love to see them try).

actually fuck it also more on eric jackson from season 5. preferably dating archie but i'm not picky.

ARCHIE SHOULD HAVE ABSOLUTELY STAYED IN RIVERDALE IN THE EPILOGUE? WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE LEFT HE LIVES AND BREATHES AND BLEEDS RIVERDALE HE WOULD HAVE ABSOLUTELY NEVER LEFT BY CHOICE OR FREE WILL HE HAS A WIFE AND TWO BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN AND IS BURIED OUTSIDE OF POP'S.

kevin worse quality life. yes i just don't think he goes through enough. i think he should have been in an unhealthy sexual relationship with the devil after he turned him into a cop (percival pickens) (i know percival is technically not the devil but he's english anyway)

cheryl should have had a cannibalism moment that post on tumblr was right

i don't think i emphasized enough earlier how badly i want explicit hiram/reggie/veronica. specifically of a flavor where both the former and the latter are using him to fill an archie shaped hole in their heart while also as a weird incest divorce cope to get back at their respective daughter/father. if you think i had established my point well enough just remember it again with me because it could have been beautiful. i'd have dragged this out for half a season at minimum

more on peaches the background character peaches (she is very attractive).

a proper time loop episode

was about to say 'canonically bisexual betty' (<- has been a vocal supporter since day 1 when she kissed veronica) but then remembered this is actually true now and now i'm so happy i forgot most of the other qualms i was going to add on this list

non-sike deaf jughead

non-sike dead jughead

a jughead that kills himself and makes it everyone else's problem

[dorothytv10]

A love letter to Bughead shippers!

*Warning: this is very very long, so only continue reading if you have time to spare 😜

I haven’t been part of the Bughead fandom since the beginning of 2019. I watched the show in chronological order until the end of season 3, then binged season 4 during covid lockdowns, but refused to continue with season 5 onwards. But over the past few years, I have kept up with spoilers and watched s5-7 episodes sporadically. I just couldn’t take the show seriously when they had Betty cheat on Jughead, then do a random time jump and turn the show supernatural. It was jarring!

I still remember the first time I started shipping Bughead. Let’s start from the beginning:

I had seen ads for Riverdale about a week before it aired, and decided to give it a watch purely because I am such a sucker for murder mystery style shows. That was the catalyst. I also have a tendency to invest in CW shows because of how heavily they push shipping, and romance is another genre that I cannot get enough of. I remember watching the pilot episode and thinking this whole Betty & Archie storyline is just NOT compelling nor did I feel the actors and their characters had any romantic chemistry. It just felt forced and awkward, especially watching Betty get rejected. I thought she was way too good for him, and if he couldn’t see that in all the years they were friends, then he ain’t the right guy for her. But some part of me just expected them to be the main love story of the show because that’s such a predictable trope in teen dramas. So even though I didn’t feel any part of my shipping senses tingling, I decided to continue with the show for the mystery part, and accepted that the romance would just not play a factor in my interest. But boy was I wrong! The following week, I watched episode 2, and the show just felt different. Jughead was featured more heavily and finally shared the screen with Betty, even though no dialogue was exchanged. But I remember thinking to myself, “Jughead and Betty would be so cute together”. During the week after episode 2 aired, I remember their season 1 kiss from episode 8 leaked online: the one outside FP’s trailer. I saw that one scene on Twitter and was instantly a Bughead shipper. I couldn’t believe that I got my wish and Betty and Jughead were going to have a romance. Riverdale went from “a show I’ll watch when I can be bothered to a must watch show that I will not dare miss an episode of”. Episode 3 started getting promoted online a lot, and Betty and Jughead were shown to interact in the trailer; I was hooked. I couldn’t wait for the next episode! It became an obsession. I even joined tumblr and met so many amazing fellow Bughead shippers. It was such an exciting time, waiting every week for a new episode to drop to finally see them get to that ep8 kiss, which I foolishly believed was going to be their first kiss. But episode 6 threw us all a curveball and had Jughead kiss Betty and call her Juliet in the same scene. I literally had butterflies. I hadn't felt that strongly about a ship in so long!

I was a big part of the early Bughead tumblr days. We were a force to be reckoned with. Each episode, our fanbase grew bigger to the point where we were the most popular ship out of every show airing at the time.

But as much as I wanted Bughead to be endgame, there was always this part of me that worried she’d inevitably get with Archie because that was so clearly what RAS shipped in the comics. I do believe Bughead lasted as long as they did because of how big and strong their fanbase was. Also, the real life romance between Cole and Lili always played a huge role in their onscreen coupling, too. That doesn’t diminish how beautiful their love story was in the show. But unfortunately, I think it is the truth. I have seen it so many times in teen drama shows. The head writers always seem to ship the pilot episode ship: Dawson and Joey, Stefan and Elena, Lucas and Peyton etc. I’m using examples of previous teen love triangles.

As much as RAS loved Bughead, and wrote them such beautiful content, he always had one foot pedalling on B*rchie. It was inevitable that at some point they’d want to explore them, especially because they had placed little clues all throughout the first few seasons. But as long as Cole and Lili were together, the show was never going to be daring enough to go full steam ahead with B*archie. Bughead was too popular and so was the real life romance. It would have caused riots. But alas, like every CW actors who date, they broke up. And what happened? They were kept apart for the remainder of the show. It was Delena all over again :(

Whether the rumours are true about the two not being able to work together, only they truly know. But I think it’s a mix of a lot of things, including new writers who were clearly all for the other ship, or in this case, the other shit. I don’t want to insult anyone, but the Riverdale writers are some of the most incompetent writers in the industry. Their inability to maintain continuity, and all the contradictions and character assassinations they created, we had no hope in s5-7. It became a whole new show. It simply lost its spark, which was already quite dim after how they handled the cheating arc in season 4. There was a huge tonal shift, and our favourite characters acted OOC.

So here’s what I really want to say:

I officially stopped watching Riverdale when they decided to jump the gun and have Betty cheat on Jughead with Archie. If you’re a Bughead shipper, it’s completely justifiable to be disappointed and sad about the way Riverdale ended. It’s like when people talk about that one person who got away, that’s how Bughead is to us: it’s the ship that got away, and never came back. To be fair, the show was no longer what it started out as. When you start off as a teen drama show promoting thriller/mystery as your main genre, only to shift gears in later seasons and become supernatural and sci-fi, there’s really only one way to explain the show in a cohesive and logical manner: it’s either all inside one of the character’s imaginations or it’s a multiverse with totally new characters who are the doppelgänger/counterparts of the original characters we knew in the beginning. So it no longer really counts. I don’t think we will ever get any definitive answers and closure from RAS nor the cast about why Bughead was completely abandoned after they broke up on the show, but I’m going to give you my take on how I think the last episode played out. Take it as you want, but I am a budding writer myself, and from a writer’s point of view, this is my theory on what really happened to Bughead in the end…

Consider the show a multiverse at this point. Remember that line Jughead said to Betty in 4x17? “in what future are we not together?”

It’s the same episode she cheats on Jughead. My theory is that the show shifted into another universe/timeline (whatever you want to call it) to show us the versions of Betty and Jughead that don’t have a future together. By her kissing Archie, she irrevocably changes the course of her relationship with Jughead. So that’s what we are shown, a new world where Betty kisses Archie and she and Jughead split and don’t end up back together again. And what is this new world? It’s really dark!

Bughead had been referred to as Romeo & Juliet, soul mates and endgame in the earlier seasons. That’s exactly what they are. But what are Romeo and Juliet referred to? Star-crossed lovers. No matter what, they could never be together. But I’ll get back to that later on.

In my opinion, there are 3 universes shown to us in the show’s run:

1 is the prime universe and original timeline in which Bughead are together and endgame. No cheating takes place. They are still in high school and will continue to date after it and make it work. But we’ll never get to see it unfold because from the end of s4 onwards we are in the other universes.

The second universe is the one where she ends up with Archie — Rivervale or Riverdale 2, but they all die in the end when the comet wipes them out of existence 👀

And the third universe is Riverdale 3.

Seasons 1-4 are set in the prime Riverdale universe.

Then season 5-6 are set in the second universe— Rivervale/Riverdale 2. My opinion is that even after 6x05, they never really left rivervale. Bunker Jughead just wrote it differently and called it Riverdale.

Then season 7 is set in the Riverdale 3 universe.

The Rivervale universe has all the magic and supernatural elements to it, which technically began in s5 with Cheryl performing magic. Rivervale is the darkest universe and timeline of the 3. Riverdale 3 universe is the most tame and fun of all the 3 universes. It’s the one where the characters behave like actual teens and don’t have serial killer fathers, cults, gargoyle kings and evil warlocks tormenting them. Riverdale 1 universe is the most realistic and grounded of the lot, albeit some weird storylines did occur during seasons 3 and 4, but it’s the universe that has both light and dark inside it like real life. Tabitha confirmed there is a multiverse in 7x19 when she said she couldn’t untangle “all” the timelines and instead made them into a single one. But even though she gave them back their memories, these versions existing in the 50s/Riverdale 3 universe are really not the original characters. This theory is proven by how a lot of dead characters are alive in this universe and how Tabitha has another version of herself living in this one.

The one single timeline she is talking about is that she gave them all the memories from every universe so they can live their lives with the knowledge of their other selves. Especially when having to navigate the 50s. They are variants (Loki reference) of the originals who now have the same memories (not all the memories) but haven’t actually lived the same lives. That’s why none of them aged and are still teens in high school; it’s also why they no longer have super powers and magical abilities. Same memories, but different bodies and souls.

So going back to endgame talk: in Riverdale 3, the universe which all of season 7 takes place in, including the final, Betty and Jughead weren’t technically endgame, but they were treated as star-crossed, just like Romeo & Juliet. They couldn’t be together because all of their memories from every other universe/timeline they existed in were now a part of them and it was too convoluted of a situation to actually make sense of in their heads, so they just all dated one another. In this new Riverdale 3 universe, Betty has feelings for both Archie and Jughead because she has the memories of both universe 1 and universe 2 Betty inside her, so she can never really choose between them. Instead, she chooses herself.

Jughead never marries because the girl he has always loved in every universe didn’t want to get married, so he didn’t want to settle for just anyone. Archie moved on because Betty was never the love of his life in all 3 universes.

Ask yourself this, why did Betty tell Reggie that she remembered what being with Jughead felt like, and that’s why she chose to be a part of the quad? Why didn’t she feel this way about Jughead in s6 (Rivervale/Riverdale 2 universe)? Wasn’t it strange that she just seemed to forget she was ever with him? It’s because it was a different timeline/universe, one in which Betty only loves Archie. That is why Jughead has that moment in season 6 episode 14 with that flashback montage of him and Betty, it’s him remembering their relationship from universe 1, something he isn’t really aware of in the Rivervale/Riverdale 2 timeline. The reason for them not remembering is because Bunker Jughead from Rivervale has written them to forget their past together. My theory for why he did that, is after the bomb went off in 6x05, part of the deal was that bunker Jughead make Betty forget being with him completely just like she had to forget that he sacrificed himself to save the universes. He retconned their story so she could move on and he could continue writing away from her with no distractions. Rivervale’s Bunker Jughead loves Betty, as confirmed by Ethel. Which brings me to the final part of this theory…

I think bunker Jughead is the same Jughead that appears to Betty in the final episode as her guardian Angel. He’s OG Jughead and has been writing an anthology all along. There is a reason the show is so heavily focused on Betty. She is the main character in Jughead’s story! In S1-4 he is chronicling his love story with Betty, kind of like an autobiography or diary of them and how they’re an investigative duo. In S5-6 he ventures into writing sci-fi and supernatural stories. Finishing up in s7 with historical fiction.

The angel Jughead in the series finale is the writer, the narrator and the version of Jughead that Betty loved most as evidenced by what he wore. He exists in all 3 universes, like a time-traveller of sorts. He’s the writer and narrator in Universe 1, the bunker writer in universe 2 and the guardian Angel in universe 3. But he took his version out of the story these last few seasons to show the audience a future with no Bughead, and instead wrote a version of Jughead that doesn’t pine after Betty and one that had a different girlfriend. That’s why when universe 3 Betty asks him on the park bench if he regrets never getting married, he says sometimes. Because he sometimes regrets never writing the two of them getting married in this universe. But he couldn’t because his version of Jughead wasn’t the main Jughead he was writing about in this story.

In the end, his universe 3 story wasn’t about Bughead, it was about Betty and wanting to give her everything she dreamed of, even if that didn’t include him. He wrote her a world where she didn’t have a serial killer father, where her sister was still alive, where she and Veronica were best friends, where Betty could enjoy her youth and explore her sexuality without having to choose between the two boys she was always torn between. He wrote her as a writer and a successful career woman rather than an FBI agent chasing down murderers and putting herself in danger. He wrote her as adopting a daughter that wasn’t at risk of inheriting the serial killer gene. He wrote a world where she got to be a normal teen and not have to investigate homicidal maniacs all the time. She got to go to school dances, drink milk shakes at Pops and hang out with her friends. She was able to repair her damaged relationship with her mum and find peace. She was a liberated woman with a strong voice who made a difference in the world.

So why did the show end with this version of her? Because it’s a way to show Betty finding peace and strength, and also not having to choose between Jughead and Archie. It makes her more than just a girlfriend who goes back and forth between two best friends.

This whole theory is further evidenced by beanie Jughead appearing outside Pops in the final scene and then hearing his typewriter as the show fades out. This was Jughead’s story all along, and the main character was Betty. It’s always been about Betty. The reason Jughead and Betty didn’t have any romantic scene in the series finale is because this wasn’t beanie Jughead’s Betty. This was the version of Betty that ends up with no one. It’s the last version of her that Jughead wrote in his book. The version of her that’s truly happy and at peace with herself and her life. He wrote her saying goodbye to Archie because that was not her endgame. Archie was just a childhood crush that existed in a fantasy world filled with magic and unrealistic scenarios like sewing on decapitated heads and bringing people back from the dead. Rivervale universe was never real and never made sense, just like Betty and Archie never made sense. And guess what happened to Betty in universe 2? She died, just like B*rchie did in the finale 😉

The only version of her that is still alive is the original one from Universe 1 that ends up with Jughead. We didn’t need to see their endgame on screen to know it happened. Their endgame is in the subtext. Jughead always loved Betty, and his story was about her. In universe 1 they are endgame, in universe 2 they are soul mates as bunker Jughead is able to do the impossible and contact her in Riverdale from Rivervale. And in universe 3 they are Romeo and Juliet. She spent her last day on earth with him, and died the day after finding out he died. They were star-crossed and couldn’t be together. The writing is on the wall.

As much as I would have loved an I love you, a kiss or even just a conversation discussing their history in the last episode, I take comfort in knowing that the characters I fell in love with in season 1 were completely different people in season 7. And from where I stand, the only explanation is it’s one big multiverse of madness concocted by a sardonic writer who was always in love with the girl next door, and spent most of his youth writing about her only to end the story with them both forever being 17. That is the same age they were when they were together and in love. It’s the same age their iconic duet is about. They just wanted to be 17, and that’s exactly how the show ends for them. Screams endgame to me :)

Just remember, nothing lasts forever. The greatest moments in life are the ones that don’t last long but leave a lasting impression. It’s the reason why we are so enthralled when we see a shooting star. It’s something so beautiful, yet so rare, so fleeting and near impossible to see with the naked eye that we stare in sheer wonderment at a dark sky full of dead stars waiting and hoping that such a spectacle will reveal itself to us again. So don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened. And never lose hope; it’s the only voice inside of you strong enough to silence fear.

Thanks for the memories, Bughead family! Even though I haven’t been around the last few years, it’s an experience I’ll never forget, and I’ve made met people on here that I will be friends with for life ❤️❤️❤️

[imreallyloveleee]

2023 fic review

thank you for tagging me @onlyalittlebookworm! <3 <3 <3

What is your ao3 account?

loveleee

2. How many words did you write total in 2023?

32,717

3. How many fics did you publish in 2023? How many multichapters vs. oneshots?

3 oneshots, 1 new WIP, and updated 1 WIP. this was definitely one of my least "productive" years for fic-writing in quite a while (although i don't think i published much in 2022 either, looking back). for obvious reasons: i was traveling for more than half the year; and also Riverdale canon was so fucking awful to our ship specifically that i think it just killed off everyone's desire to read and write about them. thanks RAS! <3

4. What was your longest fic? Your shortest fic?

longest: i feel like i win when i lose, my bughead four weddings & a funeral-inspired fic. 16,379 words (and i need to finish the last chapter ahhhhhhhhhhhhh)

shortest: honeymoon phase, my (very first!!) jimmy/kim fic. 1,927 words.

5. What was your most popular fic? Your least popular?

even though it kind of feels like cheating, head underwater was most popular, because even though i started it years ago, i updated it in 2023!

for least popular, if we're going by kudos, it was three conversations about one thing, which was my desperate attempt to make some sense out of the penultimate episode of riverdale s7 lol

6. What fic didn't perform as well as you thought it would?

honestly, i try to keep my expectations low for everything i publish, to avoid disappointment. i guess the answer would be that last one, "three conversations." but like, the show's ending sucked? i'm not surprised people were not dying to run out and read fic about it 😂

7. What fic performed way better than you thought it would?

i really did not know what to expect from posting a Better Call Saul fic. the show ended over a year ago, and i don't really have much of a sense of how big/active the fandom around it is, or was at its peak. that said, i was EXTREMELY happy to discover that there are way more fics for Jimmy/Kim than there were for the last "prestige"-y show ship i wrote for (Peggy/Stan on Mad Men).

so, all that to say, i was really pleasantly surprised to get as much engagement as i did with that little story! and i'm working on another one now and really enjoying writing it. :)

8. What was your favourite fic you wrote in 2023?

i feel like i win when i lose!!!!!!! the first four chapters of that story just FLOWED out of me like they already existed. it was so much fun to write and i think it's a super fun story in general. i reeeeeeally want to finish it.

9. What was your favourite fic someone else wrote in 2023?

Beautiful Broken Things by teaandpinkfrosting: a well-written, well-plotted, sweet, emotional, in-character season 1 Bughead fic in the year of our lord 2023? WHAT DID WE DO TO DESERVE THIS?

Eighty-Six Years by jimmymcgools: a grounded, believable, heartwrenching, yet ultimately hopeful continuation of the most devastating finale i've ever watched in my life? again, WHAT DID WE DO TO DESERVE THIS? [ETA to be extra clear that the finale i'm referencing here is bcs NOT rvd lol]

10. Tag your friends to do this year end fic review as well!

@absnow @burberrycanary @andsmile if you're into it! <3

[riverdale-retread]

Chapter 77 (Season 5, Episode 1) of Riverdale aired January 21, 2021. On this day, just 23 months later, (December 4, 2023) I have seen no fewer than six tumblr posts hyping up Charles Melton (Reggie, in the gimp mask) as an Oscar contender. The only thing weirder than Riverdale is real life. I will also note, just for the sake of it, that Brian De Palma is still alive.