#river because duh
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expectiations · 5 months ago
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RULES: make a poll with 5 of your all-time favorite characters and then tag 5 people to do the same. See which character is everyone's favorite! (tagged by @florida3exclamationpoints)
Tagging (no pressure from me but you can pressure yourself. for fun): @lotus-ignis @seaweedstarshine @capybaraonabicycle @twosomeofcuteness @croxxbunx
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thefabelmans2022 · 6 months ago
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no one except steven spielberg is brave enough to hold open auditions and chemistry tests these days. no one wants to work anymore everyone just wants to cast twitter white boys of the month when they could be CREATING twitter white boys of the month.
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jonsnowunemploymentera · 2 years ago
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Gosh I just love how Jon and Mel are paralleled in how they choose to ignore truths in relation to visions and prophecy because it’s a very interesting collision of two separate arcs: Jon’s - the deconstructed hidden prince/chosen one - and Mel’s - the deconstructed prophetess/wizard.
Like both are given the same information (i.e., that Jon may be the reincarnation of a legendary fiery-sword wielding hero) and both choose to deny the truth in this information because of one reason or the other: Jon has the tendency to ignore all the magical aspects in his life, mostly because he doesn’t want to be a super special magic boy, and Mel has already decided that the hero in question is some balding, middle-aged weirdo. But there exists a commonality between them since neither one knows of Jon’s true parentage, and so both think he’s just some random guy.
It’s very funny because we learn that Mel has been seeing visions of Jon every time she looks into her flames.
The flames crackled softly, and in their crackling she heard the whispered name Jon Snow. His long face floated before her, limned in tongues of red and orange, appearing and disappearing again, a shadow half-seen behind a fluttering curtain. Now he was a man, now a wolf, now a man again.
And we know that it’s been happening quite frequently because she gets another vision of Jon (in her POV chapter) and goes “oh god not him again!”
“What do you see, my lady?” the boy asked, softly.
Skulls. A thousand skulls, and the bastard boy again. Jon Snow.
So poor Mel is a little frustrated because she’s not looking for Jon. She’s looking for Stannis because she believes that he is Azor Ahai.
Yet now she could not even seem to find her king. I pray for a glimpse of Azor Ahai, and R’hllor shows me only Snow.
So she looks for Azor Ahai and only sees Jon Snow, but she never once thinks “hmm it’s super frustrating to keep seeing this weird emo teen but maybe there’s something deeper to it. Like there has to be a reason why I see him in place of my king, right?�� And then she talks to Jon in a later chapter and confirms that she is seeing him whenever she looks for Mance or Stannis, as per my previous post, and both of them come out of that conversation being the very definition of “no thoughts, head empty ”. They’re just not going to think about it; and both end up focusing on other aspects of the visions and not the larger theme.
And then there’s this conversation between Jon and Val (in Jon VIII, ADWD) that honestly encapsulates the sheer comedy of a powerful wizard who is sent by destiny to go find this magical prince and missing him, and how the magical prince in question gets really frustrated with the wizard because he thinks that the wizard’s visions are dumb and useless.
In this conversation, Val suggests that Mel may know about Jon switching Dalla’s and Gilly’s babies because of what she sees in her fires.
“And keep [Gilly’s baby] away from the red woman. She knows who he is. She sees things in her fires.”
Val is essentially suggesting that Mel is attuned to the truth because of her prophetic insight. But Jon doesn’t think so.
Arya, he thought, hoping it was so. “Ashes and cinders.”
He hopes Mel can see the truth of Arya’s whereabouts, but what he actually thinks is different. He dismisses Mel’s supposed truth as mere “ashes and cinders”. And it’s so funny because this is a huge miscommunication. Jon is no doubt thinking of Mel seeing “only snow” (we learn from a later chapter that this is the answer Mel always gives) but it seems so silly so he twists that into “ashes and cinders”.
But the problem starts with Mel, honestly. She isn’t able to understand that the king she finds in her fires is Jon Snow and so when she relays the information back to him, she does it in such a vague manner, so Jon thinks she means literal snow (like frozen water, that snow). Except Mel means Jon Snow. She sees Jon Snow in her fires but refuses to ponder further on why she should see him in place of Stannis.
There is such hilarity in a wizard going on a great quest to find a prophesied prince and failing because she at some point found this other guy and convinced herself that he was the prophesied hero all along, even though he didn’t fit at all. So when she is ultimately led to the prince she’s looking for, she mistakes him for some random guy even when her visions actually tell her, “No Mel, wait! This is your guy!! This is your king! Hello?!”
But then, even if she somehow got clued in on said random guy being the prophesied prince, it’s a little too late because he’s already mistrustful of her anyway and doesn’t take her seriously. So he ironically asks her, “have you seen the king in your fires?” And she says, “I’m seeing you when I search for the king”. And literally neither one of them goes, “hey wait a minute?!”
And you know what’s even more frustrating? Some completely unrelated person somehow manages to get to the truth of the matter! (Sort of…). Val somehow manages to understand that what Mel sees is true. In fact, Val is even more correct than she realizes because when Jon dismisses Mel’s visions as “ashes and cinders”, Val counters that with:
“Kings and dragons.”
Oh!
So, according to Val, not only can Mel see the truth, but she can also see the truth of who is a king and/or a dragon.
The king Mel sees is also a dragon, as he is one of the last surviving Targaryens in the world. Where Jon dismisses Mel’s visions, Val somehow takes the narrative’s voice here and goes “oh it’s not just Snow she sees, she also sees that he is a king and a dragon”.
As if this wasn’t comedic enough, Jon gets a vision towards the end of the book that literally connects the dots.
Burning shafts hissed upward, trailing tongues of fire. Scarecrow brothers tumbled down, black cloaks ablaze. “Snow,” an eagle cried, as foemen scuttled up the ice like spiders. Jon was armored in black ice, but his blade burned red in his fist. As the dead men reached the top of the Wall he sent them down to die again. He slew a greybeard and a beardless boy, a giant, a gaunt man with filed teeth, a girl with thick red hair. Too late he recognized Ygritte. She was gone as quick as she’d appeared.
- Jon XII, ADWD
He dreams of himself as the fire-sword wielding hero Mel has been so crazy about, and then he wakes up to his pet bird calling him “KING” basically affirming everything Mel has been seeing throughout the entire book. And he does the most Jon Snow thing imaginable. He completely ignores it! We get zero commentary to this, same as we got zero commentary from him then Mel said that she saw him every time she tried to look for Mance or Stannis.
Really, both the chosen one and the great wizard are failing quite miserably. They get information much in the same way (Jon gets a prophetic dream, and Mel gets her prophetic visions) but they both decide to ignore whatever they’re seeing. The chosen one is annoyed that the wizard’s visions are useless, the wizard is annoyed that the totally-normal-boy-who’s-definitely-not-the-chosen-one-not-like-Stannis-is-anyway isn’t listening to her, and poor Val is off to the side going “hey, doesn’t anyone else think its important that Mel really does see kings and dragons?!!”
And honestly, Mel’s inability to get it even when the answer is right in front of her becomes even funnier when we take this exchange into account:
[…] all of them seemed surprised to hear Maester Aemon murmur, “It is the war for the dawn you speak of, my lady. But where is the prince that was promised?”
“He stands before you,” Melisandre declared, “though you do not have the eyes to see. Stannis Baratheon is Azor Ahai come again, the warrior of fire. In him the prophecies are fulfilled. The red comet blazed across the sky to herald his coming, and he bears Lightbringer, the red sword of heroes.”
- Samwell IV, ASOS
I- 😭
Mel accuses Maester Aemon of being too blind to see the truth, not knowing that the narrative has damned her as well. Unlike Aemon, she has actually set her eyes on the promised prince but she’s the one who has been too blind to see.
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rivilu · 23 days ago
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Putting him in the blender is no longer enough I need to-
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#river rambles#oc: elluin#I got to thinking about how him becoming shyka is so fucked up from a THIRD ANGLE#besides the obvious horror of it all#and the daeran pov of the person you loved that saved you from a terrifying hivemind entity becoming part of one#just. it sort of mirrors aeons in a way. yeah duh it's trickster you may say LET ME SPEAK#In the sense of . You know beings that see multiple versions of reality and timelines and everything#and are supposedly somewhat keeping order#How with the aeon in particular he genuinely felt insulted when offered the path as. He's an anomaly right. From a cosmic perspective#and it's caused him nothing but shit. To have a being that's supposed to fix cosmic errors show up to him-#and have the nerve to ask for ANYTHING? Again- insulting#but in a way Shyka isn't very different are they#of course there's the rather important detail of Elluin being part of them already#a snake biting its tail eternally- if you will#(and also the further context that Ellu is scared shitless of any Eldest more than any other entity. or god even)#just. you're on this path because you desperately crave freedom- control of your own fate#to hold it in your own hands rather than get tossed around by it like a punching bag#And you DO! But it's just not enough. When deep down you've always seen yourself as wretched and doomed. Having that notion confirmed..#well. that's it. Its set in stone. It doesnt matter that your power is SHATTERING stones- the option doesn't even cross your mind.#It was never going to. no matter how badly you want to live- you could never fathom a reason why you'd deserve to#i'm very normal about this. you can tell by the second person narration.
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questionableratatouille00 · 10 months ago
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Genuinely forget that mutuals and people I talk to on here can see my reblogs and shit
like: hey how’s it goin thanks for looking at my blog here’s 50 reblogs of the SMUT I was reading earlier this morning at 8:07 am. while you were out learning and doing life things i was thinking about SEX. if you even care
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rueclfer · 4 months ago
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shut up, my moms calling // touya todoroki
when you sneak out to share a first at the river.
a/n: back on my touya b.s.
part two
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"Jesus, what the fuck happened?"
By the time you approached Touya, you were gasping for air. There he was leaning up against the fence, tossing his flashlight up in the air while he patiently waited for your arrival while it looked like you just came from an animal attack.
You didn't answer him. You were bent over, clutching onto the chain link fence with one hand and the other on your scraped knee as you tried to catch your breath.
"Fuck." You hiss. "God damn."
You look up to see his shit eating grin, holding back his laughter.
"Fuck off." You huff. "My...neighbor's light...came on...so I booked it." You say in between gasps of air.
"And your knee?" He cocked an eyebrow at you clutching onto your ripped jeans and bloodied knee.
"What do ya think? I ate shit." You groan, finally standing up straight. "How long have you been waiting?"
"Like 10-15 minutes? I told you, you should've just asked your dad to sleep over. All this could've been avoided." He shines his flashlight to your knee, illuminating the caked blood leftover on your knee and pants.
"You forget that my dad isn't your biggest fan." You shoot him a sideways glance as you begin to shrug off your backpack, lightly fanning yourself.
"True, but, he's friends with my mom, and my mom likes you so that's an automatic in. Rei would've vouch for you."
"I guess." You mutter under your breath. "Next time we'll have her call my dad and ask for me, then."
Touya slips off his own backpack and tosses it over the tall barrier, letting it softly thump onto the patch of dirt and dead leaves, following it with your own bag.
He starts his climb first, effortlessly making his way to the top and jumping straight off from there, landing into a squat. You followed suit, but of course there he was standing close by behind you to make sure you have all of your bearings and not slip.
"You got it?" He holds out his arms, anticipating your fall.
"Duh."
Once your feet hits the ground, you slip your backpack back on after dusting the remnants of dirt off.
"You have your flashlight?" He asked. "Or do you need one? I have an extra."
You whip out your flashlight from your back pocket and shine it straight onto his face, causing him to wince and block it with his hand.
"Perfect." He groan. "After we get past this tree, it's all rocky and shit, okay? So watch your step because I'm not going to carry you back if you fuck up your other knee."
You silently flip him off. After he returns the gesture, he begins to lead you two deeper into the woods, letting your flashlights guide your way. You weren't really sure where you were heading, but this morning Touya told you that he "knew a spot," so of course here you are now, walking through a forest.
"Touya, look." You whisper, clutching onto the strap of his backpack to stop him and and point your flashlight at the base of a nearby tree, revealing a frog perching on an exposed root. "It looks like you."
"And you look like the piece of dog shit next to it."
At some point, when you were you felt you had possibly walked into the danger zone of the forest and were ready to tell him that you should head back, he turns around and stops you first.
It was sudden, almost causing you to fall back.
"What the fu-" You began, about to scold him for startling you. He grabs your shoulder and holds a finger to your mouth. You press your lips together, searching his face for a sign as to what your reaction should be. Should you be panicking? Is there an animal nearby?
"Shut up and listen." He whispers, cupping his ears.
From the distance, you hear a soft murmuring of continuous running water. You mouth slightly gaped open.
"No way." You mouth, slowly growing into a wide smile. "How much farther?"
"Should just be up ahead. Let's go." He motions for you to continue following him.
After a few more minutes of trekking, the trees open up to a shallow river lined by rocks and boulders. The water was almost still from where you were standing, but from afar, you could hear it rushing down against more rocks that stood in the middle of a stream.
"This is so fucking cool." You beam, turning to him to see him holding onto a tree to take off his shoes.
You two ended up choosing a boulder to perch on, letting your feet hang into the cool water. You close your eyes and take in the hot summer night and ambiance of frogs and the chirping of crickets.
"I actually stole this spot from Natsuo, surprisingly. The nerd took his girlfriend out here to ask her out."
You gasp "Natsuo? A girlfriend?"
"I know." He laughs, keeping his gaze forward. "My little brother has a girlfriend. Hasn't even introduced her to the family yet, that fucker."
"Damn before us too. We really do have no game." You laugh at yourselves.
"Pshh, says you." He waves you off. "At least I've had my first kiss."
You jaw drops and your head snap towards him.
"What? How come you never tell me these things?" You whine. "When was this?"
"Ah, it's embarrassing." He turns his head away to avoid your gaze, obviously regretting revealing that bit of information. In the darkness only illuminated by moonlight, it was hard to tell, but you just knew his ears were turning red. "It was when I was like 8."
"Oh." You deflate. "I mean, that barely counts" You roll your eyes.
"Still counts though."
"Tell me about it then. How was it?" You couldn't help but feel a twinge of curiosity. You were at the bright age of 17 with no experience with romance, let alone a kiss, and you were surprised to hear that your best friend since childhood was somehow one step ahead of you in this category without even trying.
He sits and thinks for a moment, lightly kicking his feet in the water. "Kinda gross. 8 year olds are inherently little grubby and unhygienic things, so imagine two of those pressing their mouths together."
"Figures." You sigh. "We're such losers."
"Who is we? Maybe you're a lovesick loser, but I'm perfectly fine." He flicks water at you, which you return with a handful of river water.
"You really haven't kissed anyone since?" You wiped your hand off on your pants.
"Nope." He popped.
"You're almost 18." You mutter. "Don't you think having a real first kiss is like, a mark of growing up? Maturity?"
"Mmm no I don't think so. That's just life, ya know? It just comes at you and I bet tons of people don't get their first kiss until well into adulthood." He shrugs. "Why do you want yours so bad?"
"Sometimes I feel so behind everyone else." You bring your feet up out of the water and hug your knees, using it as a head rest as you look over at Touya. "Everyone has an admirer, everyone has a romantic interest, everyone has kissed someone, except for me."
"You want your first kiss, then?" He mutters under his breath, looking away from you.
"Huh?" You scoot yourself closer to him, leaning into to his direction. "What did you say?"
"Do you... want your first kiss, then." He says a little bit braver this time, slightly meeting your eye from the side.
Your mouth gaped open and your hands suddenly go sweaty.
"From.. you?" Your eyes widen in surprise.
"I mean, yeah. If you want. Since you're so desperate for it" He starts playing with the drawstrings of his hoodie. "Only if you want to though." He quickly adds on.
"You're fucking with me. Do you want to? I know I'm bitching and moaning about it, but you don't have to do charity work, ya know?" You nervously laugh.
"It's not charity work." He quips back "We're best friends, so... I don't know, isn't it easier to do all that with someone you know and trust? If it makes you feel better, I guess this would be my first real kiss too."
You blow out a long breath of air. "Okay... I guess you're right. Best friends.. but, I don't know what I'm doing. Do you?"
"No, I don't." He sheepishly rubs the back of his neck. "I just figure it's all improvising."
You turn to face him, motioning him to do the same. He takes his feet out of the water and criss cross them, scooting close enough to where your knees meet.
You flick on the flashlight and set it in your lap, letting it slightly illuminate his face. His face is bright red, but you wouldn't dare tell him. Not in this moment. Yours probably was too- you could feel the heat off of it.
"Can't we do this in the dark?" He whines, blocking the light with his hand. "It's embarrassing."
"How am I supposed to see what I'm doing?" You shoot back. "You want me to pretend like it's not you, or something?"
"No." He quietly mutters. "Your eyes are going to be closed anyways. How are you not even a bit embarrassed by this?" He rubs his pink stained cheeks.
"Because you're my best friend, and I love you, and this is all for the purpose of science." You pat his knee, comforting him all while your heart was racing and your hands were clamming up. "And this is your idea so if this blows up in our faces, it's your fault."
"Okay, fine whatever." He rolls his eyes. "For science."
"Put your hands behind your back." You instructed.
"The fuck? Why?"
"Because if you touch me, I'll panic." You pout. "Please."
"Every guy you kiss you're gonna ask them to sit on their hands?" He cocks an eyebrow at you.
"Shut up and do it, Touya, before I push you in this river."
He grumbles to himself for a second, but does as you say, interlocking his fingers behind his back.
You place both of your hands on his shoulders, leaning your faces in close. You look down at his lips, parted in anticipation. You could hear his slight heavy breathing layered over the running water in the background.
"Say stop whenever, okay? Okay. You ready?" You whisper. "Not nervous?"
He slowly nods his head, glancing down to your own lips, causing your stomach to flip. "Stop talking and just do it."
You weren't sure who leaned in first, but before you knew it, your lips were connected.
Soft. Warm. Slow. Running out of breath.
Your hands unclench his shoulders and move down to his knees, letting yourself comfortably relinquish control. Your body was on fire, and you were ready to jump up and hide after this, but you kept reminding yourself that this could be considered his first kiss too. You two were doing this together.
Suddenly, you feel his hands placed on top of your own, causing you to tense.
"Don't freak out." He breaks away for a moment to mutter against your lips, before continuing to let his hand climb up.
Right as his hand gets comfortable against the side of your neck, his phone resting in the pocket of his hoodie suddenly starts vibrating, causing you two to pull back, and snapping into realization of what you two had just done.
With wide eyes, you instantly flip off the flashlight and turn your head to avoid his gaze as you lightly pant to catch your breath.
"Fuck." He mutters, running a hand through his hair, looking at the caller-ID.
"Who is it?" You whisper-yell. "Who's calling you at this fucking hour?"
"Shut up, my mom's calling." He leans his head back and groans, rubbing his face in his hands. He hops off the boulder and began feeling around the ground for his shoes.
"Hello?" He slowly answers into the phone.
"Touya! Where are you?" You could hear Rei scold him loud enough even when she wasn't on speaker.
"Sorry, mom. I couldn't sleep so i'm just out and about." He press his phone against and cheek and shoulder as he begins putting his shoes back on, in which you follow suit.
"Is Y/N with you? Please tell me she is, because her dad called."
"FUCK!" You mouth silently to him. "Say no. He's gonna beat your ass. Say no." You whisper to him.
Touya looks at you for a moment, biting his lower lips while debating on what to say to his mom.
"Don't lie to me either. I will find out." She warns.
"Yeah she is, but we're fine." He sighs in defeat.
"Sorry." He mouths to you, reaching his hand up to ruffle your hair.
He starts to pace around, making it harder for you to hear her tucked into his ear.
"No we're just sitting."
"Yes sober....unfortunately." He lightly chuckles. "Okay, okay, sorry." he quickly follows up.
"By the river."
"Yup we have flashlights, pepper spray, and everything."
"She's fine."
"Yes I do know what time it is."
"Mom!" He exclaims, glancing your way with an embarrassed expression. "Yes! We are fully clothed. Stop it."
"We're going to head back right now."
He finally comes closer to you, making a choking motion to his own neck, causing you to giggle at his unfortunate and uncomfortable conversation with his mom.
"Touya." Rei sighs. "Bring her home safe okay? I'll talk to her dad, but we're going to have a chat about this later tomorrow."
"Can Y/N sleep over?" He shoots you a sly glance in which you return with a glare.
"Hello?"
"She hung up on me." He slides his phone into his pocket and shrugs. "Wasn't a no, though."
"Fucking idiot." You huff, gathering your things.
You two began your long trek back towards where you entered, walking side by side now. The air was thick around you two in tension and awkwardness as you waited for the other to bring it up or start a conversation to avoid it all together.
"Thoughts on your second, first kissed?" You break the silent wall and glance up at him.
"Mmmm definitely better than the first." He smirks down at you. "How was it for you? You feel okay?"
"Yeah." You mutter. "It was pretty good." You start "For the purpose of science, ya know."
"For the purpose of science." He repeats. "Any other experiments you wanna try while we're at it?"
"Touya!" You gasp and hit his arm. You pull the collar of your shirt over your nose to cover an incoming blush creeping up your neck.
"I'm kidding!" He laughs at your reaction. "Why are you so embarrassed all of the sudden now that we did it?"
"God you're annoying." You huff. "Why are you all of the sudden not? And flirting with me? Who even are you?"
"I'm just teasing." He nudges you playfully.
"Don't fall in love, now." You warn. "You wanna ruin this friendship so bad. In more ways than one." You mutter, returning the nudge.
"Yeah, whatever." He rolls his eyes, but landed his gaze back on you.
You continue the walk in silence, letting the back of your hands brush every now and then. You would blame the blush tattooed to your cheeks on the humid summer air, and avoid his gaze at all cost until he says something about it (he definitely will), and when you sneak back into his house, you'll go straight to his room where he'll bandage and clean up your knee and let you sleep in his bed while he'll sleep on the floor right beside you. He'll wait for your breathing to steady out into sleep and then he'll silently curse himself out and relive that moment with you at the river.
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bonus scene:
the next day when the whole house is awake, fuyumi's sisterly senses slaps her silly.
she just KNOWS that some shit went down between you two. she's naturally so observant, so when she sees you two padding out into the living room for your morning tea with your hair messy, cheeks flushed with a shy smile on your lips, subtle glances at one another and his oversized shirt hanging on your shoulders, she just knew she has to ask one of you about your late night rendezvous.
it's not the first time she's seen you like this in the morning. you had been close to the family and her older brother's best friend for years now, but she instantly sniffed out a different aura emanating from you two.
"touya, can you help me grab something from the top of my closet?" fuyumi motions for touya to follow her to her bedroom.
"sure." he shrugs nonchalantly. "keep my tea warm." he shoots you a coy wink.
touya follows fuyumi into her room, a silence falls between then until the moment she clicks her door closed.
"before you ask, nothing happened." he rolled his eyes as if he was already anticipating her interrogation.
maybe her brother's instincts were much stronger than her's...
"liar!" fuyumi squeals. "it's all over your faces! mom was so pissed at you last night, where did you go?"
"we went by the river where nat asked out his lady." he shrugs.
"and then? i know something happened!" she presses on "tell me!"
"its nothing. just that.. we might have...kissed." he tries hiding the smile behind his arm. "crazy, right?"
she silently squeals some more, jumping and slapping her brother's arm in celebration.
she had known about her brother's crush for a while now, how could she not? they were only a couple of years apart, so it would be impossible to keep things a secret from one another.
"and what else? did you ask her out?" she looks up at him with stars in her eyes.
"one step at a time, little sis. stay tuned." he pats her head and goes back to join you and attend to his tea, which you of course, kept warm.
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aerynwrites · 1 year ago
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Longing Pt. 2
Halsin x afab!Reader
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A/N: it’s FINALLY here - sorry for taking so long with it lmao. NSFW stuff, while I love it is so hard for me to write. But here you go! I hope you all enjoy this spicy conclusion to this story!
Word Count: 5.7k
Warnings: SMUT 18+ ONLY || smut, virgin!Reader, oral (female receiving), vaginal fingering, PiV sex, unprotected sex, creampie, multiple orgasms, Halsin being a total sweetheart by duh, fluff so much fluff and soft, aftercare (kinda?), outdoor sex, kissing, more fluff.
Part 1 || Masterlist
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The early evening air is warm as it kisses your skin through the forest canopy. It’s the one thing you notice most besides the soft cloth covering your eyes, a familiar warm hand in your own being your guide through the foliage. 
“Halsin, why can’t you just tell me where we’re going?” you ask, laughing through the question. 
“Because, my heart, if I told you what was in store, it would no longer be a surprise,” he rebuffs, and you can practically hear the smile in his words. 
You let out a little huff, but don’t argue further, letting the druid lead you through the forest by hand. 
The journey is slow, with Halsin careful to guide you around any roots or rocks so you don’t stumble over the terrain, and you use the time to try and figure out where he’s taking you.
The smells of the forest fill your nose, the crunch of leaves beneath your feet, and you can even feel the last rays of the day’s light on your skin through the branches of the trees. But what gives you the most information is the sound of water roaring in the distance. 
The waterfall. 
Halsin had shown it to you just a few days prior, having found it on one of his outings in wild shape form. You remember vividly his barely contained excitement as he tugged you through the woods to show you, the blindfold withstanding. 
You start to wonder why he would bring you back here so soon, and you cheeks heat at the first thought that comes to mind. When you had both arrived at the destination last time, you’d wasted little time stripping from your armor down to your underclothes and jumping in - Halsin not far behind you. 
The druid had pulled you into his arms then, lips claiming your own as he maneuvered you both behind the waterfall’s curtain. You had almost jumped the proverbial cliff then, finally feeling comfortable enough to take that final step with him.
But he had pulled away, smiling down at you before tugging you back out into the water and recalling a story from his childhood. 
As the sound of the waterfall grows ever louder, you silently hope for a repeat of those events. 
However, the true intent of this trip is revealed when Halsin finally brings you to a stop, hands sitting comfortingly on your shoulders. 
“We’re here,” he says, gently tugging at the knot holding your blindfold together. 
The cloth falls away from your eyes and you blink to adjust to the light. Your surroundings come into focus slowly and you realize that you are near the same waterfall, but instead of by the river below it, you’re in a small clearing above it. You see the small river that feeds it running steadily by before moving to rush down the cliff side. And the view…it takes your breath away. 
The clearing sits above the valley that holds your camp, letting you see for miles, the slowly descending sun casting an ethereal orange glow over the landscape. 
Finally, your eyes land on what you assume is the last part of the surprise Halsin has planned. 
In the middle of the clearing, just a few yards from the river’s edge, is an arrangement of dozens of furs laid out on the grass. You see a small burlap sack which you assume holds an assortment of food and drinks. And there’s even…candles. Some short, some tall - all of them spread around the space and lit, giving the moment a more… intimate feel than is already present. 
Soft lips press against your temple before trailing down to brush your jaw. 
“What do you think, my love?” 
His words are soft, and you detect a hint of hesitance in them, as if he is worried you would reject this thoughtful presentation. 
You turn around in his arms, lips spreading into a wide smile, your arms slipping around his waist as his do the same. 
“You did all this? Is this where you were all day?” you ask, remembering his absence from your side this morning when you woke. 
The druid nods. “When I found this place the idea immediately came to mind and I…I wanted to surprise you.” 
Warmth blooms in your chest at his words, his thoughtfulness nearly knocking you off your feet. 
You love this man. 
“Well,” you finally say, leaning back to look up at him. “Consider me surprised. But…” you trail off, brows furrowing in question. “Is there an occasion for all this?” 
Halsin pauses then, seemingly considering his words. You wait patiently as he does so, relishing in his embrace, his thumbs brushing over your hips slowly. 
“I will not lie and say I have no goals in mind for this night but…” He pauses, eyes trailing over your face, hands tightening on your hips. “I just want to show you my love. In all the ways nature intended. If you will have me.” 
Your heart stutters in your chest at his words, picking up on their meaning as all the warmth in your chest shifts down to pool in your belly instead. 
You smile up at him again before leaning in to hug him, cheek pressed against his chest as he returns the affection. 
“I’d love nothing more.” 
Halsin leans down, pressing a gentle kiss to your lips before pulling away quicker than you like, eyes shining with happiness as he leads you towards the furs. 
“Let us eat first, while the sun still graces us with her presence. I gathered some of your favorites.” 
The fur is soft beneath your feet as you remove your boots and move to settle onto the large makeshift blanket, Halsin right behind you. Idle talk fills the air as he begins pulling items from the bag, and you can’t stop the way your mouth waters at the presentation before you. 
Various meats and cheeses, fresh fruit, wine, and even freshly baked items. Blueberry tarts. Sweet buns. This has obviously been in the works for a good while for him to find time to locate these items - a realization that makes your heart swell with adoration. 
Quickly, before Halsin has finished unpacking, you lean in and press a chaste kiss to his lips, cheeks warm. 
“Thank you. For all of this, for everything.” 
Pausing his work, Halsin smiles, leaning over on one hand before reaching up to cup the back of your neck with the other. He brings his lips back to yours, and this kiss lasts a little longer before he pulls away to gaze at you. 
“You deserve all nature has to provide, my heart. I’m simply showing you its bounty,” he tells you, leaning back to pick up one of the blueberry pastries. 
He tears off a small piece before holding it out to you, eyes twinkling. 
You raise a brow, unable to stop the smile that tugs at your lips. “Feeding me by hand now, too?” you ask, scooting forward to close in on the treat. “Careful, you might just spoil me.” 
You take the offered bite between your teeth, lips brushing the tips of his fingers before he pulls back. The pastry practically melts on your tongue, the crust buttery and flaky - a direct contrast to the tart sweetness of the blueberry mixture. 
You can’t stop the moan of appreciation that comes from you as you savor the treat, already wanting more. 
Halsin smiles, tearing off another bite and offering to you again. “I would give you the moon and stars in the sky if it is what you wished,” he says, eyes crinkling happily when you take the offering again.
You let out a contented hum, scooting until you’re finally side by side with your lover, pressing a gentle kiss to his jaw. 
“As nice as that sounds…I’m perfectly content with blueberry tarts and sweet buns.” You reach up to toy with one of the braid in his hair. “And you, of course.” 
Halsin laughs at your addition, the sound loud and joyous as it echoes through the trees. “I am honored to be listed among the sweetest of treats. Although, I must disappoint you and say that honey might always be my first love.” 
You scoff, feigning hurt as you lean away from him, a hand over your heart. “I’m wounded. I thought what we had was special.” 
Strong arms wrap around your waist, pulling you into his lap effortlessly as he attacks your neck and shoulders with kisses, making giggles erupt from your lips. 
“You know I only jest,” he tells you as he finally pulls away, reaching up to tuck a stray strand of hair away from your face. “You are the only thing my heart desires. The moon to my night sky and the soil to my earth. Nothing could ever compare.” 
Tears burn at the back of your eyes, and you have to blink to keep them back, his words making your heart so full you feel it might burst. 
Cupping his face gently, you take a moment to let your eyes roam, taking in everything about the man beneath you. His scars that some might be frightened by, but you think makes him more handsome. The curving crimson tattoo that adorns his skin. His strong brow that complements his soft hazel eyes. And his lips…lips that smile down at you so often you sometimes worry they might get stuck that way. The smile that makes crow's feet appear at his eyes and show years of laughter he’s shared. 
You shake your head, pressing a kiss to each cheek before finally meeting his lips, holding him to you until the need for air arises. 
“I love you, too,” you whisper, meaning every word. 
————
The evening continues much like this. Eating and drinking and sharing kisses between, until you’re too full to continue. By then, night has fallen and has you both on your backs next to one another, eyes turned towards the stars as you each point out constellations and the stories behind them. 
Halsin shows you the one representing Silvanus and goes on to tell you about his god and the stories behind his origin. You show him a constellation of the goddess your parents worshiped, recalling fond memories of your childhood. 
A gasp falls from your lips in the middle of the story, eyes widening as you point up to the sky. 
“Halsin, look, a shooting star!” 
The little white light streaks across the sky, and you reach over to grab his hand in yours. “Close your eyes and make a wish!” you demand, eyes scrunching closed childishly. 
You open your eyes once more only to see dozens of other stars following the first. Flashes of light igniting the sky before fading away. 
You’ve never seen anything like it. 
“Wow, it’s…beautiful,” you whisper. 
You hear Halsin him in agreement. “It is…Nature has once again outdone itself.” 
You turn to look at him, only to see his eyes aren’t on the sky at all. 
They’re on you.  
“You’re not even looking,” you chastise quietly. 
Halsin smiles. “I’m looking at something more beautiful than even the stars.” 
Heat rushes to your cheeks once more. “Halsin…”
Before your protest can continue, Halsin is moving. He rolls deftly towards you, hand never leaving yours until he pins it beneath his own beside your head, hovering over you. Your heart leaps in your chest, legs moving instinctively to cradle his hips as he settles above you. 
His hair falls over his shoulders, the small braids swaying slightly in the soft breeze that whispers through the forest. His hand squeezes your own before his other comes up to cradle your face, thumb brushing over your cheek. 
“I do not speak words without them being truthful - false niceties are an affront to those we care about, and I do not say these things insincerely,” he tells you, voice unusually quiet. “My heart does not stir lightly. But it does now. Allow me to show you the pleasures of the heart, my love.”
Excitement stirs in your chest before settling lower, warming your belly and making arousal thrum through your veins. You nod, reaching up to card your fingers through soft honey colored hair, before settling at the back of his neck. 
He responds swiftly to your silent approval, his lips coming down to capture yours in a kiss so unlike the others you’ve shared tonight. They were soft and gentle and chaste, but this…
This is all consuming. 
It’s heated, but not rushed. Firm, but not uncaring. His lips move against yours as if he’s pouring all his devotion into you, tongue teasing your lips until you grant him entrance. 
Sighs and groans leave you both, swallowed by the other or lost to the night air as hands and lips start to roam. 
Halsin shifts above you, moving to straddle your hips as his lips travel from yours to leave suckling kisses at your jaw, his hands moving to settle on your waist. 
Your own hands fumble, not sure where to go when they want to touch him everywhere. They flit from his hips to his waist down to his thighs before running back up to tug at the hem of his shirt, fingers twitching as they itch to slip beneath the fabric. 
Gods… you’ve never done this before. Is it too forward? Should you wait? Will he want to undress you first? What if-
Halsin’s soft chuckle rips you from your racing thoughts as he presses a kiss to the underside of your jaw, nipping lightly. 
“You are free to touch, my love,” he says, as if reading your unsure thoughts. “I know I plan to. So, I believe it’s only fair of you to do the same.” 
Heat rushes to your cheeks at his words, his promise to touch you as you want to touch him. But his encouragement works, and before you let your insecurity take over once more, you slide your hands under his shirt. 
You sigh as your hands meet his skin, instantly relishing in the heat radiating from him. The fabric rides up around your wrists as you reach higher, fingers tracing each and every muscle and divot in his skin. You think you can faintly feel scars marring his flesh, some large, some small as they stretch across his skin. 
You aren’t left to wonder for long though, as Halsin pulls himself from you only long enough to tug his shirt over his head and toss it to the side before leaning forward once more, covering you with his body. 
You almost let out a whine, wanting more than just a second to take him in, but the thought is quickly forgotten as his lips return to you once more, this time relentless against the sensitive skin of your neck. 
His teeth gently nip at you before his tongue comes behind to soothe the mark he’s no doubt left behind. 
Your hands trail up from where they rest at his sides, coming to run over his chest, the dark hair tickling your palms until they eventually flit upwards to rest against his shoulders. 
Expert fingers tug at the laces of your top, and your eyes fall to meet those of the man above you. He’s pulled away from you now, eyes searching your face as he continues to toy with the front of your shirt. 
Your chest is heaving, and it’s only in this moment of silence do you realize the heat running through you. The way your toes curl into the furs beneath you, the tingling and pleasure settling low in your belly. 
Gods, you want him.  
You arch up into his hands ever so slightly. “You don’t have to ask,” you say, tone impatient, a surprise even to you. 
Halsin’s brows furrow, lips turning down ever so slightly. “Of course I do.” He leans down to place a kiss to the corner of your lips before trailing a path down your jaw to just below your ear. “Your comfort is my utmost priority, so I will ask each and every time.” 
His over abundance of care makes warmth bloom in your chest, disposing what little nerves may have been lingering in the back of your mind. 
You smile, turning your head to capture his lips with yours as you give his shoulders a reassuring squeeze. 
“I can assure you,” you tell him, pulling away from the kiss just enough to raise your arms above your head. “I’ll be most comfortable when we’re both rid of all our clothing.” 
Halsin smiles, eyes twinkling with amusement. “As nature intended.” 
You can’t stop the giggle that slips past your lips as Halsin lifts your shirt over your arms. You’re used to his druidic nature quips, but they still always manage to bring a smile to your face. 
Halsin is quick to oblige your request, and soon you’re both bare against the furs, and that tiny tinge of uncertainty is back as Halsin’s eyes roam over you. 
Without thought, your arms come up to cover yourself, but Halsin is quick to stop you in your tracks. He takes your hands in his, threading your fingers together before pressing them into the ground beside your head. 
“Do not hide from me,” he whispers, leaning down to brush gentle lips over your collarbone and down lower. “You are beautiful - more radiant than the sun on a clear day and more ethereal than the moon at its fullest.” 
He nips at the swell of your breast before kissing the soft skin and traveling lower, pausing between the valley of your chest to shower kisses over the softness of your stomach. 
Blood rushes in your ears, heart pounding, arousal shooting to your core as you realize the path he’s taking and his most likely destination. 
“Halsin…” His name leaves your lips in a gasp as his hands leave yours to follow the path his lips took just moments before.
You can feel the roughness of his palms in stark contrast to the softness of your skin, arching up into them as he reaches your breasts, kneading them in his hands. 
His thumbs brush over stiffened peaks, teasing as his lips move lower, nose nudging at your navel. 
“I wish to know all of you, my heart - body and soul.” His lips move against the delicate skin of your hip, breath fanning over your most intimate parts. “I have longed to taste you, to have you come undone on my tongue before I show you the other pleasures nature has to offer.” 
You’ve honestly never really thought about this before, your mind always jumping to the ‘ main act,’ if you will. But now, with Halsin’s hands on you and his lips so close to where you ache for him to touch you…You find you’ve never wanted anything more. 
Your hips lift from the furs involuntarily, and Halsin’s hands are quick to slide down to your hips, holding you in place gently as a chuckle leaves his lips, ghosting against the crux of you once more. 
“Yes - please …” The words fall from your lips in hushed whispers, the breath having long since left you. 
You don’t even know what you’re begging for. It’s not like Halsin was asking, but he must find your quiet words pleasing as another amused rumble comes from him. 
He’s down lower now, his lips brushing teasingly against the inside of your knee, placing feather light kisses up along your inner thigh. 
“I’ll have you begging for much more than this before the night is done.”
A shudder runs through you at his words and before a retort can even come to your mind, his mouth is on you, stealing all thoughts away. A gasp falls from your lips as your fingers move to tangle in his hair, wanting to keep him close and push him away all at once. 
His tongue parts you eagerly, his nose bumping against your clit as he teases your entrance. 
Arousal is hot and piercing in your core, making you even wetter than you were before, Halsin’s ministrations spurring your pleasure higher and higher with each expert stroke. 
The sensation is so… foreign. Something you’ve never experienced before that has you craving more and wanting to run away at the same time. Inexperience and utter pleasure push and shove at one another, until the latter wins out as Halsin presses one finger against you, sinking in ever so slowly. 
His tongue, his lips, and now his finger sinking into you makes that feeling in your belly crescendo, a feeling new to you. You don’t know whether to urge him on or tell him to stop. 
As if sensing your dilemma, Halsin adds another finger, making your jaw drop open as he crooks them inside of you, brushing up against a spot that makes you see stars. 
He pulls away from you then, pressing a hurried kiss to your hip, nipping at the skin there. 
“ Let go for me, little one. ” 
His words are the last thing you need to catapult you over the ledge you’ve never jumped before. The tension in your core bursts, the taut pressure snapping in two as your body arches into Halsin’s. 
Utter euphoria rushes through your veins in a burning tidal wave, toes curling, fingers tingling from where they still clutch at his hair. You can’t even find it in you to think about loosening your grip, the pleasure coursing through you like an electric current and locking you in place. 
You have nearly no idea how much time has passed before your mind comes back to you, your chest heaving with tired pants as Halsin kisses his way back up to you, nuzzling your jaw before peppering kisses to your cheeks as his hands rub soothing patterns against your sides.
“That was…” You trail off, both lost for words and still trying to get your breath back. “A lot.” 
Halsin chuckles again, making you warm inside for a completely different reason as he presses his lips to yours in a slow kiss before pulling away to press another one to your temple, lips tugged up in a grin. 
“Well…I did promise to overwhelm you,” he says, calling back to your conversation all those weeks ago. 
You huff out a short laugh of your own, arms coming up to wrap under his own so your hands rest against the back of his shoulders. 
“Consider me overwhelmed.” 
That smile still on his lips, Halsin comes back down to nuzzle at your jaw again, hands trailing down your sides to rest on your thighs, guiding them to cradle his hips as he press his body more fully into yours. 
A short gasp slips past your lips as you feel him against you, hot and heavy against your inner thigh. You can’t help the way your eyes glance downwards, widening at the sight of him. You hadn’t really thought to look earlier, everything else holding your attention instead, but…
Good gods above- 
“ Will it fit?” The question is out of your mouth before you can think better of it, the hot swell of embarrassment creeping up your neck as Halsin laughs again, the sound echoing in the otherwise quiet forest. 
He pulls you closer to him, your chest brushing his own as he captures your lips again. One hand reaching up to cradle your jaw, thumb rubbing soothingly against the skin there. 
When he pulls away, it’s just far enough for his forehead to rest gently against yours. 
“I will go slow,” he assures you, pressing soft kisses to our brow, “but you must be my guide, tell me what pleasures you most or what causes you discomfort and I will adjust accordingly.” 
Once again, despite this intimate moment, Halsin is ever the considerate, giving partner. Never putting his pleasure above yours. 
You smile up at him, fingers pressing into his back slightly. 
“Thank you.” You lean up, pressing a quick kiss to his lips. “But I…I want you to enjoy this, too. It doesn’t have to be about just me.” 
Halsin eyes twinkle in delight, one corner of his lips tugging upwards in that rare but beguiling smirk. 
“Trust me, my heart - I am enjoying myself more than you can imagine. You are giving me a most precious gift, your trust - it is more than this old druid could ever ask for.” 
His words once again, strike deep, your arousal and happiness all swirling into one big ball in your chest about to burst. You tug him down on top of you, relishing in the closeness of his chest against yours, his hands on your skin, his lips on your cheek. 
“You have it,” you tell him, voice wavering with emotion. “I love you, Halsin. Please… I trust you.”  
“I love you too, my heart.”
Halsin’s words are but a whisper against your lips before he claims them again, mounding you to him as he positions himself to press at your entrance. 
He enters slowly, never breaking your kiss, swallowing the sharp gasp that leaves you. Your fingers dig into his back at the intrusion - while not painful, it is foreign; a pleasurable pressure within you that expands more and more the deeper into you he goes. 
Your earlier orgasm makes his movements easier, but he still pauses when he meets resistance, a sharp intake of breath from you all he needs as an indicator. 
He breaks his lips from yours, reaching up to brush a stray hair from your forehead now dewy with perspiration. His brow furrows in concern. 
“Are you alright?”
You nod. It’s the truth - you are fine, there is no pain, but, gods, you already feel full and you haven’t even taken him fully yet. 
“I-I’m fine, just-“ Another breathless gasp as he twitches inside you. “Go s - slow.”
Halsin obliges, working into you in slow, measured thrusts, pulling back before sinking a little deeper each time. Each movement, no matter how small - how tempered - sends a jolt of pleasure through you, igniting the flame that never really seemed to go out. 
It’s like everything is amplified by a thousand with him moving against you. The way the hair on his chest brushes against your skin sends tingles down your spine. The blood rushing in your ears, the soft pants he exhales - breath warm against your cheek from where his forehead nuzzles your own. His hand feels like a branding iron against your skin where he pulls your leg up over his hip, fingers digging in hard enough to leave marks behind. 
You can tell he’s holding back, using every ounce of control he has to please you - to not rush this. 
Your heart aches in the best way when he finally - finally - bottoms out, his hips flush against your own. His head falls to your shoulder, and the groan he lets out is sinful enough to match the moan that falls from your own lips - his name a whispered prayer in the night air. 
You’re so full it feels like you can’t take a full breath without feeling him everywhere. Inside you, on top of you, his lips against your skin and his hands holding you in just the right way. You feel…made for him. Him made for you. Like pieces of a puzzle finally joining together. 
You relish in the feeling of him like this. But more than that, you desperately want him to move, your hips twitching against his in silent request. Only, when he doesn’t respond do you speak up.
“I think…I’m alright, you can move,” you tell him, voice breathy. 
You feel him nod against your shoulder, hair tickling the sensitive skin there as he speaks. “Yes I, ah - just need a moment.”
One of your hands runs down his back and then up again, your legs squeezing his hips gently. “Are you okay?”
Halsin laughs quietly, breath hot against your skin before pulling away, lifting one hand up to cradle your cheek as he gazes down at you in utter adoration.
“Yes, just…admiring all of nature's creations, and…considering how very lucky I am.”
You smile up at him, eyes starting to feel watery at the sincerity behind his words. “Halsin, I…I’m lucky too.”
His lips turn upwards before he leans down to place a slow, deliberate kiss to your lips before pulling away. “I care about you a great deal. More than…more than I can express. So, I will do my best to show you.”
His meaningful words end just as he decides to move, pulling out before sliding back in with one smooth thrust. The movement makes stars erupt before you as your eyes clamp shut, pleasure singing through you. 
Halsin picks up his speed when you offer no complaint, skin slapping against skin as he finds a steady rhythm. His lips press haphazardly against you, moving from your neck to your collarbone, down and then back up again, as if he wants to worship all of you but doesn’t know where to start. 
One of his hands plants itself in the furs beside your head, fingers digging into the soft fabric for purchase while the other falls down to grip your leg again, tugging it ever higher on his hip, allowing him to press deeper into you.
A high-pitched cry escapes your lips at the movement, the new angle letting him hit something devastating inside of you with each thrust. 
Your fingers dig into his back, nails no doubt leaving behind marks as they score down his shoulder blades, desperate to pull him closer. He drops down to bear his weight on his forearm, pushing himself closer to you, pressing you into the furs beneath you as if he too can’t get close enough.
“ Oak Father preserve me,” Halsin practically growls, burying his face into your shoulder, blunt teeth digging into your skin before he speaks again. “You are so… perfect. Like you were created by the gods themselves just for me,” he groans as his hips stutter momentarily, grinding up into you. “I love you, my heart, more than words or any actions can describe.”
His words, the way he feels inside you, the way his lips smooth the dull ache his teeth left behind, it’s all too much. It’s overwhelming in the best way as that coil in your belly pulls taut again, ready to snap at a moment's notice. 
Your chest rises and falls with rapid breaths, one of your hands coming up to cradle the back of his head, holding him to you as your legs finally move to wrap around his waist, heels digging into him, urging him on - silently begging him to bring you both to release. 
“I love you too.” The words come out hoarse and broken.“ Fuck, Halsin I - I’m close, please… ”
He responds to your plea, his hips stuttering as he nears his own end. He turns his head ever so slightly, lips brushing your ear before placing a gentle kiss just below, whispering sweet nothings against your skin. 
He reaches his end just before you do, and it brings about your own euphoria. The cord snaps just as his hips do against yours, warmth flooding you inside and out as you topple over the edge. His name falls from your lips over and over, a provocative incantation for only the night and the man above you to hear. 
He works you through your release, only stilling when you’re both spent, chests rising and falling against one another, skin damp with sweat as you pull each other closer still. 
Halsin tucks both arms beneath you as you slowly come down, pulling you tight against him as he rolls you both onto your sides. 
Neither of you speak for several moments, instead choosing to bask in the afterglow, relishing the cool night air against your heated skin. Only when Halsin’s hand starts to trail random patterns against your back does he finally speak. 
“Are you alright?” he asks, voice gentle with just a touch of concern lacing his words. 
You look up at him, brows furrowed. “Did I do something to suggest otherwise?” 
Halsin shakes his head, reaching up to tuck a piece of hair back from your face. “No, but I…I know I am…more than most. I just wanted to ensure there were no…lingering discomforts.”
You shake your head. Other than the dull ache between your thighs, which you do not regret…there’s not a scratch on you. And you couldn’t feel better.
“No discomforts here,” you tell him, leaning up to press a kiss to his lips. “None that I’m going to complain about, anyway.”
Halsin lets out an amused huff before rolling once more so you rest on top of him, ignoring your gasp of surprise. “Good,” he says, reaching up to run warm hands down your sides before resting on your hips, eyes meeting yours once more. “I truly meant it when I said this was a gift. You are a gift, the greatest treasure Silvanus could have ever bestowed upon me.”
Halsin reaches up to take one of your hands that rests on his chest, bringing it up to press a chaste kiss to your knuckles. “You honor me by choosing to be by my side.”
Heat creeps up your neck, and words fail you at first. So, you lean forward to hide your face against him, nose brushing just below his ear as you nuzzle into the space between his head and shoulder. 
“I’ve never…” You trail off before finally finding your words. “I’ve never trusted someone enough to…take this step with,” you admit, arms moving to wrap around him, hands tucking between his back and the furs beneath him. “Thank you for loving me enough to show me what it's like.”
Halsin’s arms wrap around your waist, holding you to him as his lips brush your temple. 
“The pleasure was all mine, my heart. I love you more than the moon loves the stars and the sun loves the earth.” 
You smile against him, eyes suddenly feeling heavy, sleep tugging at the edges of your consciousness. “That’s a lot of love…might take a while to get it all out.”
You feel his chest rumble with laughter. “That just means more nights with you in my arms.”
You hum in agreement, finally letting your eyes fall shut. And, as Halsin’s arms hold you tight, you both fall asleep under the stars, nature surrounding you.
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borathae · 1 year ago
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“After listening to your friend’s story about how awesome it feels to sit on your boyfriend’s lap, you want to try it yourself. Jungkook is more than willing to offer his lap to you, even it makes his face burn up and his heart race like crazy (and maybe get his dick hard, but don’t tell anyone).
Alternatively: Maybe sitting on your boyfriend’s lap isn’t as innocent as you may have thought it would be.”
~ Requested by two anonies ~
Pairing: Jungkook x f.Reader
Gerne: College!AU, established relationship!AU, domestic!Fluff, Smut
Warnings: shy but horny!Jungkook, shy but horny!Reader, they both think the other is in charge which ends up with them being two needy subs grinding on each other, so much domestic sweetness, listen it’s so cute, making out, lap sitting, thigh riding, she rubs his cock over his clothes, grinding, she grinds her pussy on his cock, unprotected sex in the sense that he cums on her without a condom on but dw they are both clean & on birth control, cuddles for aftercare
Wordcount: 4.1k
a/n: I combined these two requests and decided to go with the Sense of Innocence!couple because they fit them really well. This is so adorable and cute and gosh, I love writing for them. They are both such sweethearts. Enjoy my lovelies, this is also my B-Day present for Koo 💗
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You are hanging out at Jungkook’s place today. It is raining outside. The skies were grey and on the roads little rivers of fallen water were making their way downtown.
You don’t mind the weather. Not only because you love rainy weather, but also because Jungkook’s place was really cozy. He has his heaters on at their highest level, keeping the apartment nice and toasty. His diffuser was on as well, soaking the air in a sweet and perfectly faint vanilla scent. He even turned on his galaxy lamp. It is barely visible right now, as you not only have the lights on, but it’s also still bright outside. It still gave the room a slight colourful hue to it, which was nice.
Jungkook is playing Animal Crossing on his TV while you are next to him, playing on your phone.
Your feet you have buried under his thigh, using his body heat to keep your toes warm. Every now and then you can feel Jungkook caressing the back of your calf as a reminder that he was there and you were there and while he was busy with gaming he still thought of you. It was a nice reminder.
Right this moment you received yet another text from your classmate and friend Jia giving you dating advice.
-          Jia: are you serious? you never sat on his lap before??
-          Jia: haven’t you guys been together for like seven months??
Well, it was more of her shaming you for your slow step taking, but it was dating advice nonetheless.
-          You: not like this. not so random.
-          You: what if it’s weird?
Her answer is instant.
-          Jia: girl, it’s weirder that you’ve never done it before
-          You: :( i just don’t wanna be too much
-          Jia: he loves you like crazy, I don’t think he’d think it’s too much
You contemplate her answer long enough that she sends you three more messages.
-          Jia: besides. two things.
-          Jia: sitting on your guy’s lap is so comfy
-          Jia: and Kook’s a dude, he’ll love it cause dudes love that shit
You sneak a glance at Jungkook, who just this moment shoves a big handful of salted peanuts into his mouth. He wipes the access salt on his black shorts and chews with his big eyes focused on the screen.
So Jungkook loves it when you sit on his lap because all dudes do.
That sounds like a stereotype to you.
-          You: I feel like that’s way too generic. not every guy’s the same.
-          Jia: yeah, duh? but he’s into you and if a guy’s into you he likes it when you sit on him
You feel your cheeks heat up at her choice of words, looking at Jungkook in case he somehow heard what you just read. He obviously didn’t, still highly concentrated on planting pink flowers on his island.
-          You: you really think so?
-          Jia: yeah
-          You: and it’s worth it?
-          Jia: YEAH
You look at Jungkook again. He is chewing again, which means he shoved some peanuts into his mouth when you weren’t looking.
-          You: okay I’ll do it, brb
You don’t get to see her answer, but she is cheering for you.
You place your phone down.
“Hey, Kook, uhm.”
“Hm?” he says, cocking his eyebrow up but not looking away from his game.
“Can I try something?”
“Yeah, wanna play for a bit?” he offers, but follows it up with, “can I just finish the flowers first? I know exactly where to put them and I don’t wanna forget the spots.”
“No, I wanna uhm…can I just show you?”
Jungkook nods his head, “sure”, he says, still staring at his game.
You take a deep breath and peel yourself off your comfortable lounging spot to get on all fours and crawl to him.
He sneaks a glance at you from the corners of his eyes.
“What are you doing?” he asks, eating some peanuts again.
You take his arm and pull it around you. At that Jungkook finally looks at you, flashing you a sweet smile instantly.
“Hey”, he says, pulling you closer.
“Hey, uhm”, you murmur, doing the next step of climbing on top of his lap and then sitting down.
“Oh?” he widens his eyes, gawking at you with his lips parted in a perfect O-shape.
You don’t bear to look into his eyes. Instead you let yourself plop against his chest, wrapping your arms around him and burying your face in the crook of his neck.
Jungkook lets out a soft chuckle, nuzzling his cheek against your head. He rubs his hand up and down your back.
“You’re cute”, he says and pecks your hair.
“Do, do you like it?” you ask him.
“Yeah, I do”, he says, returning to his game, “so snuggly.”
You smile. So Jia was right. He likes it. You cuddle closer and begin playing with his hair. You like it too.
His chest is strong, his thighs are soft now that they are relaxed and his arms around you feel so safe. He also smells heavenly. Like his body lotion and laundry detergent. The faint scent of his shampoo lingers on his neck as well, as does the actual smell of his skin.
“Feels nice, don’t stop”, Jungkook says.
You also really love that you can play with his hair so easily. He has the softest hair. It’s always so nice to feel it run through your fingers and tickle your skin.
“Your hair is so soft”, you tell him shyly.
Jungkook rests his head against yours in acknowledgement, humming a soft “mhm”. He knows that he doesn’t have to say more.
You spend the next moments like this. Cuddled up together as Jungkook plays Animal Crossing. He is preparing his island for a flower festival and he wants it to look as perfect as possible. Every now and then, you can hear him munch on some peanuts or mumble innocent curses under his breath when he accidentally planted the flower in the wrong spot.
You feel so cozy atop his lap. He is so warm and snuggly. And the touches he gives you make you tingle like crazy. Each time he eats some peanuts, he makes sure to connect himself with you by touching you softly. His fingers trace your spine, his palms run along your side or thigh and every now and then you feel his lips leave a little kiss on your head. It’s so, so nice to experience and you curse yourself for not doing it sooner.
You would have sat on him longer if the stupid doorbell hadn’t rang. Jungkook lifts his phone to check for the time.
“Our chicken”, he exclaims, “took them long enough. Wah, more than an hour.”
The doorbell rings again. He pats your butt gently.
“Baby, can I get the chicken?”
“No, it’s fine. I’m already getting it”, you say and peel yourself up with a heavy heart. You wanted to stay on his lap for longer.
You thank the delivery person, wishing them a safe drive home. The rain became stronger in the time you sat on Jungkook’s lap, entering his apartment and hitting your toes when you had to open the door. The delivery person trots down the stairs with their head held low to shield the rain. Poor them. You hope that they can warm up and dry off soon. 
You lock the door and return to Jungkook. He already has two plates set out and a pair of plastic gloves for each of you.
“Wah, look at the size of that box. I’m so hungry already, you have no idea. Thank you for getting it”, he says, meeting you halfway to take the box from you. He carries it to his coffee table and sets it down. Then he opens it, busying himself with taking out the different sauces and opening them.
You in the meantime, get comfortable next to him and switch the channels.
“Thank you”, he says.
“Sure. Should we continue Physical 100?”
“Yeah, I’d like that.”
And so it happens that you and Jungkook watch your current shared favourite show as you eat your crispy chicken. It is a very amazing time and the food is really tasty. But you can’t deny the sad little feeling deep in your tummy that you can’t sit on his lap anymore. You got a taste of it and now you want to experience it again.
You and Jungkook wash down the chicken with some beer. He sighs happily, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.
“The food was so good”, he says.
There is around seven minute of show left. He relaxes into the cushions and sips on his beer. You get up to clean the table.
“Baby, no”, he says, tugging you back down.
You fall with a squeak, landing on his lap. Your eyes flit up, meeting his playful gaze. Your heart is doing somersaults in your chest. 
“Don’t clean, you’re my guest. Just relax”, he says and wiggles his legs, “please?” he adds, widening his eyes cutely.
“Yeah okay”, you say, stifling a squeaky giggle as you settle against his chest. Your back is resting against it while your head is on his shoulder. He wraps his arm around you, nuzzling his nose into your neck and kissing you softly.
“I love that”, he says, “this is so nice.”
“Yeah it is”, you agree, feeling your heart race like crazy. This is the best feeling ever. It really is.
And so it happens that you finish the show sitting on Jungkook’s lap. You drink your beer, laugh or gasp at parts of the show and enjoy the other’s warmth to the fullest. And you are so, so happy that you dared to take the step. Being on his lap is amazing.
“Do you wanna watch another episode?” he asks once the show finished.
“Yeah, why not?” you say.
“Noice”, he says, pecking your cheek, “keep it playing, I just gotta wash the dishes. I thought I could handle them being here, but I can’t. I’m so fidgety.”
You get off his lap and help him clean the coffee table. The show is running in the background. His kitchen is located right behind the TV, allowing you to listening to the show clearly.
“I get it. It’s nicer when everything’s clean”, you tell him, throwing away the empty chicken box and cans of beer.
“Yeah definitely.”
It doesn’t take long for Jungkook to do the dishes. They were only two plates after all. You are already on the sofa again when he returns. He sits down next to you and sneaks a glance at you. You do the same.
“Do you…” you begin.
“Yeah”, he says, blushing softly.
“Okay”, you almost squeak the word and then you are already on your feet to change your position. You sit down on his lap again, cuddling into him while he hugs you tightly.
“This is so nice”, he says, resting his chin on your shoulder and smiling softly.
“Yeah, it really is”, you agree, feeling oh so happy.
You manage to watch a good two thirds of the show and then you have to get up to pee. You tell Jungkook to keep the show running because you don’t like the current team and don’t care about what happens to them. Jungkook still gives you updates when you are sitting on the toilet, doing so by yelling out what was happening. It made you chuckle because it was cute.
Jungkook is gawking at the screen with big eyes and parted lips once you return. He is resting his elbows on his knees, looking totally captured by the show.
Saddened by the fact that you can’t sit on his lap anymore, you sit down next to him.
His head turns to you instantly, he frowns at you, studying you with sad eyes.
“What are you doing?” he asks.
“What do you mean?”
“Why are you sitting there?”
“What do you mean?”
“Get on here”, he says, patting his lap, “don’t sit there.”
“Oh”, your cheeks heat up instantly, “sorry, I just didn’t want to force myself onto you.”
“You’re not. Now com’ere”, he says and opens his arms for you.
You follow happily, doing it in a way so you were facing him again.
“But you can’t watch the show like that”, he says.
“It’s fine, I like this so much more”, you tell him, running your hands up and down his neck.
He gazes into your eyes and smiles with them. You retort it.
“You’re cute”, he says.
“You like this, don’t you?”
“I love it so much”, he says.
“I thought that I would try it tonight.”
“It’s amazing”, he smiles, caressing your waist.
You are so giddy! You have to kiss him! You do so rather forcefully, knocking a surprised squeak out of him. He falls into the cushions, accepting the kiss with his breath tickling your cheek as he exhales shakily. One more time you suck on his lips and then you pull back to sneak a glance at him.
His eyes are half-lidded, his lips are parted. He gazes at your lips then locks eyes with you. A soft, hazy smile lights up his face.
“What was that for?” he asks.
“Just so. I think you’re so cute”, you tell him.
“I think you’re cuter”, he says and looks at your lips, “I want to kiss you again”, he confesses, cupping your cheek, “please?”
You close the distance between you and him. You want the same. You got a taste of him and now all you want to do is have him on your lips for hours. It starts off innocent. Really, you didn’t mean for it to turn into the mess it will turn into ten minutes from now.
It starts off oh so innocently. You are feeling each other up, but it is never meant to linger on an intimate spot. You touch his chest, his shoulders, his face and neck, playing with his hair as well. While he feels up your back, your waist, your legs and your face, tickling your scalp every now and then as well. It was supposed to be innocent, but the thing with being stupidly and unbearably in love with each other is that there will come a time where the innocent touches leave exciting sparks on your skin and then those touches send your hearts into overdrive and make your breaths shaky.
You break the kiss, just so you can connect your tender lips with his neck.
“Baby”, Jungkook sighs, tilting his head to the side and closing his eyes, “that feels really good.”
His pulse is racing like crazy under your lips, encouraging you to keep going. Jungkook moans softly, sliding his hands to your hips. That’s when the innocence ceases to exist. You chase his touch, forcing your pussy to grind against his thigh.
“Ah”, you gasp, tensing up and lifting your head.
“What’s wrong?” Jungkook asks, looking at you with big, worried eyes.
“I, I”, you stutter, feeling your face heat up unbearably.
“Baby, what’s the matter?” he stresses.
You wiggle your hips and bite down a little moan. The pressure and warmth on your clit felt really intense. Jungkook sneaks a glance down at you, widening his eyes.
“Oh”, he lets out, looking back at you.
You lower your head, feeling too embarrassed to look into his eyes. He’ll probably think that you’re such a needy idiot.
Jungkook takes your hand and guides it to his dick wordlessly.
“Oh?” you gasp, gawking at him. He is really hard in his shorts, twitching into your hand as he guides your fingers over his tip. He is blushing like crazy.
“I didn’t want to say, because I didn’t wanna be a horndog”, he says and grins shyly.
“Oh”, you let out and wiggle your hips on his thigh. The grinding motion feels so good that you let out a little moan. Jungkook answers you with a moan as well, looking at your lips with droopy eyes. He is still rubbing your hand over his clothed cock, but soon doesn’t have to anymore as you take over.
“This is good”, he sighs.
“Yeah, it’s good”, you agree.
Jungkook places his strong hands on your hips and helps you ride his thigh. He feels so good. You are so warm on his thigh and the way you seem to tense and shudder each time your hips roll over his muscle excites him a lot. You in return love how his cock is twitching under your hand and how hot he feels to the touch.
You exchange one look, one moan, one touch and then you are kissing again. Sloppier than before. More tongue as well. And with lots of little sounds escaping the both of you. The show is almost over by now. Only ten minutes left. Neither of you take it in. It’s background noise, just as the loud rain outside is.
You rub each other sensitive that way. The next episode is already four minutes in when you break the kiss again. You have soaked through your panties and sweats by now. Jungkook did the same with his shorts. You are panting like crazy, barely catching your breaths. You try to look at him, but barely can. He is so blurry in your vision. You cup his heated cheeks. Jungkook leans into your touch, moaning your name.
“I can’t hold it for long”, he confesses.
“Same”, you say, tensing on his lap.
“I wanna feel your pussy.”
“We could take our pants off.”
“Yeah please.”
“Okay.”
You scramble to get naked. At least your bottoms for now. You are too horny to care about your shirts. You just want to connect with each other again. You scramble back onto his lap, Jungkook welcomes you with open arms. He grips your hips instantly without ever guiding you. You still think that he is. Neither of you really think they’re in charge, both think it’s the other. It still works somehow. You find each other, pressing up against the other.
Like this, your pussy is grinding right against his cock. Said cock is resting against Jungkook’s stomach, twitching when your wet warmth comes into contact with him.
“Baby”, Jungkook moans, closing his eyes, “baby that feels so good.”
“Yeah”, you moan and chase him with rolls of your hips. His cock grinds right against your clit, sending electric pleasure through your veins. He is so much warmer than his thigh was. And softer. And so much wetter. Oh god, having his naked cock against your pussy feels so good. You don’t want to stop chasing him. He probably thinks that you are acting so needy right now, but you have to keep moving.
You lower your head to kiss his neck and suck on his skin desperately.
Jungkook moans, dropping his head on the edge of the backrest. Like this, his body slides down the cushions just enough that you have even better access to his cock. You press down on him and use the better position to focus your attention on his tip.
Jungkook shudders, tensing his thighs as he feels bolts of pleasure course through him.
“Don’t stop”, he begs, leaking in bliss.
You smear it all over your pussy and cock seconds later, mixing it with your own never ending slick. The movements are so easy because of how wet both of you are. You can’t stop grinding on him even if you wanted to. His request is unnecessary because all you want to do is keep feeling him in this way.
“Don’t stop”, you beg. You don’t know why you begged, but it felt so right to do. In your eyes it is Jungkook, after all, who controls the scene. Who guides your hips with his hands as you lose yourself on his cock.
While he thinks that you are having him wrapped around your every finger, laying willing victim to your sweet seduction.
Truly it is almost adorable how wrong either of you was. Just two submissive lovers grinding on each other, thinking they are the one submitting whilst in reality you are both equally submissive. It’s adorable, really. Adorable and very needy.
Oh so needy.
You break your lips from Jungkook’s neck because you needed to breathe. You are so dizzy that it gets hard to keep moving your hips. But you have to, Jungkook would want you to.
“I’m so close”, you whimper, twisting a bundle of his hair.
“Me too, baby”, Jungkook gets out, squeezing your hips. He is holding back. All he really wants to do is climax all over your pussy. But he holds back, because you would want him to.
Adorable, really. You both are so adorably stupid right now.
“Kookie”, you whimper, tensing up. Your clit is pulsating like crazy. You can’t describe how intense his cock feels on it, but it does. Oh it does. You can barely breathe.
“You can c-cum whenever you, you need to”, Jungkook stutters, squeezing your hips.
“R-really?” you squeak out, resting your forehead on his shoulder. You are so ruined. Oh god, so ruined. You need to keep grinding and grinding and grinding.
“Yes”, he says and in his ears it’s him making sure that you cum first, but to you it sounds like he is finally giving you permission to let go.
You press yourself closer and sob his name, hiding away in the crook of his neck as you let that tight knot in your tummy burst. You manage to grind yourself on him one more time and then the pleasure gets too difficult to bear.
“Oh god”, you choke out, convulsing atop his lap as your fingers twist his hair desperately. You feel so hot. Your pussy feels like she’s burning up. It’s so intense that you end up sobbing his name again and squeezing him for comfort.
“You’re so hot”, Jungkook mewls, helping you ride out your high by moving his hips which results in his cock grinding against your pussy, “oh god baby, oh god.”
You finish after five aggressive shakes of your legs.
“Kook”, you moan, chasing him even if it hurts a little. You already acted needy enough, now you need to get him off as well, “Kook please.”
“I’m gonna cum”, Jungkook whimpers, “I can’t hold back anymore.”
“Please”, you beg him, grinding your overstimulated pussy against his tip.
“___”, Jungkook moans and arches his back. The tight knot in his stomach breaks and fire takes a hold of his body. It feels so good to climax like that, leaving him to drop into the cushions and keen your name loudly.
“Yes, thank you”, you pant, helping him ride out his high by grinding on his cock. He made you so sticky and wet now that he is cumming all over your pussy. You really like the feeling, chasing it with needy ruts of your hips.
It takes Jungkook six rolls of your hips and then he gets too overstimulated. He grips your hips and drags you away from his cock.
“Please no more”, he begs.
You drop onto his lap, soiling his skin with your mess. Neither of you care.
“Thank you”, he gets out, hugging you against him, “oh god, this was amazing.”
“Yeah”, you agree with your head resting on his chest, “I was so horny.”
“Me too”, he says, chuckling breathily, “you’re amazing.”
“No, you are.”
You lift your head to send him a goofy grin. One he retorts happily.
Behind you the show announces the new challenge. You and Jungkook sneak a glance at it.
“What the hell is going on?” Jungkook asks, reaching for the remote to press the information button, “huh? How are we already halfway through the next episode?”
“Stop it. I don’t wanna spoiler myself”, you say.
Jungkook turns off the TV and drops the remote in synch with his head falling against the sofa, “we’re idiots. I didn’t even realise the show was still on”, he laughs.
“Yeah me neither”, you giggle, “but I don’t regret it.”
“Agreed”, he says, hugging your waist, “lean into me, I wanna hold you.”
“Mhm, Kookie”, you say, snuggling into him, “we gotta rewatch what we missed.”
“Yeah definitely.”
“I gotta go pee and clean up soon”, you whisper.
“Hush, just a few more moments. I need to savour you.”
“That’s fine with me”, you say, feeling oh so happy that you want to scream.
Jungkook feels the same, replaying what happened moments before in his head. He is smiling as he does, feeling his heart race like crazy.
Jia will ask you for updates when you meet her on campus on Wednesday, but you won’t give her more than a simple “he really loved it”. She smiled and then acted cocky about being right.
1K notes · View notes
ww2yaoi · 2 months ago
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most romantic webgott moments
joe lifting web up into the truck duh
"get out of here. are you serious? I love to read!" and web's smile when joe says he only reads comic books. web fell in love right there and then argue with the wall
web getting joe out of the patrol > lieb's wink ;) and thanks buddy 👈 > web's nod
not exactly a webgott moment but the framing of joe watching the patrol go down from across the river knowing web is in potential danger trying to prove himself because joe was specifically an asshole to him. romance <3
this look. something about joe being angry and hurt but still looking at web when he doesn't have to.......yeah
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109 notes · View notes
nichuuu · 1 year ago
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Where Our Blue Is
(青のすみか)
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Word count: 13k+
Even now the blue lives Even now the blue is clear I’ve got a curse for you stuck at the back of my throat. It’s the unvoiced voice that says, “We’ll meet again, right?”
-
“You ever think about dying sometimes?” 
You raised your head from your Jujutsu Kaisen volume to stare at Rei. Her head was tilted up, eyes on the stars that were visible from under the tree. 
“Why do you always ask these pessimistic questions?” you couldn’t help but ask. She gave you side eye. 
“I think that’s just the way you choose to view my questions,” she replied.
“That is a horrible opinion…” 
“And this is coming from the guy reading manga at 10pm?”
You shut the book and sighed. 
“I don’t get to read much at home Rei…”
“And that’s my problem because?”
Your lips formed a thin line. You smacked her with your book. She yelped. 
“Hey!” she chided.
“Cry me a river,” you replied. 
Rei pouted and crossed her arms. “So this is what I get for trying to initiate conversation.”
“Who starts a conversion by talking about death?” you questioned.
“Me. Duh,” she retorted. 
“I think you need to polish your social skills,” you suggested. 
She snatched your book away from you. “And I think that you should stop engaging in bitchless behaviour!”
You clicked your tongue and snatched your book right back. 
“Let me be Rei,” you muttered.
Rei’s haughty expression softened. 
“H-Hey… I-I didn’t mean to piss you off…” she apologised. You waved it off.
“I’m not angry… Just tired,” you told her truthfully. The back of your head rested against the coarse bark of the tree. She shifted herself closer to you. 
“You okay?” she asked you. You nodded.
“I’m fine…” you assured her, “sorry for being so grumpy.”
“It’s fine,” she brushed it off, “we all have our bad days.”
Cicadas chirped in the distance. The lamp hanging from the nail that you’d hammered into the tree illuminated the space around you, the light swaying in the summer breeze. Rei yawned next to you. 
“You wanna know something?” she asked. 
“What?”
She hugged her knees to her chest and rested her face on them. 
“I wanna be an idol.”
You raised your eyebrows. 
“Sounds fun… But—”
“Not a Japanese idol,” she interjected, “I wanna be one of those Kpop stars…”
She piqued your interest. Rei would have these moments where she’d randomly rant about what she wanted to do in the future. One moment she dreamed of being a teacher, the next a Physicist… Being flippant about her future was her specialty.
“Kpop huh?” you mused, “listening to all that Red Velvet finally got to you didn’t it?”
Rei shot you a glare. “I know you’re grumpy, but could you not insult me for like five seconds?”
You raised your hands in surrender. She continued. 
“Just imagine it… Naoi Rei, the next biggest sensation!” she sighed, “I’ll be all over the internet… Those bullies would google my name and regret messing with me… God, it's such a dream…”
You chuckled. Your fingers drummed against the cover of your book. 
“Sounds like fun,” you remarked, “but I heard that the Korean Idols live tough lives.”
She pouted. “Are you saying I can’t take it?”
“I’m not saying anything,” you clarified, “I’m just… Cautioning you…”
She sat up straight. 
“Mark my words,” she declared, pumping her fist into the air. “I will become a star!”
You smiled. She was clearly delusional, but you entertained her. 
“I’ll hold you to that,” you joked. Rei let her hand drop back to her sides. 
“Wanna bet on it?” she wagered. 
“Sure. What are we betting?” 
She sat up straight.
“If I become a Kpop idol… You buy me lunch for a week,” she decided. 
“Deal,” you agreed, “but if you don’t… You buy me a box of these babies.”
You lifted your manga and wiggled it in the air. She laughed.
“Oh you’re on,” she readily accepted, “I’m so ready to burn a hole in your wallet!”
“Same here,” you grinned. Rei stuck out her hand. 
“We shake on it.”
You rolled your eyes and gave her what she wanted. Satisfied, she stood and stretched. You didn’t get up cause you knew that she’d sit back down just a few minutes later. 
“Hey,” she called, “if either of us makes it big in the future… Let’s promise not to forget each other.”
You looked up at her, watching her hair reflect the light from the lamp under the veil of the dark blue night sky. 
“I can get behind that…” you smiled. Rei giggled.
Her eyes reflected the blue of the night sky.
(That was when you were thirteen. She was Naoi Rei—your neighbour and best friend.)
“Hey.” 
You raised your head, blinking rapidly as you adjusted to the light assaulting your eyes. Sleeping in class was never a good idea, yet you persistently indulged in it. Rei waved a paper in front of your face, a gleam in her eyes.
“I secured an audition!” she squealed. 
“Oh… Nice.”
She pouted.
“You could at least be a little more enthusiastic,” she remarked.
“What’s there to be enthusiastic about when I have Math as my first period?” you grunted.
“Aw come on… Just one compliment?” 
You sighed.
“Fine… Great job Rei,” you relented. She seemed satisfied. 
Rei slid into her seat next to you, plopping her bag down on the floor with a loud thump. She took out her books, neatly stacking them on her table and laying her acceptance letter atop of the stack.
“I applied to four other agencies. I think I’ll hear from them soon.”
“Sounds cool.”
“I know right? I can’t wait to see their headquarters!” she exclaimed, “I’ll finally get to explore outside Nagoya! Doesn’t that sound fun?”
“Very…” you muttered, slowly drifting back into sleep. 
Rei slapped the nape of your neck. “Reciprocate the excitement dammit!”
“Okay, okay! Happy! Yay!” you quickly spouted. Rei snorted.
“I always have to force these reactions out of you… Talk about a one-sided friendship…”
A hand grabbed the letter atop of Rei’s books. With a yank, textbooks and notebooks came tumbling down as the hand withdrew. Your head snapped up. 
“Wow Rei… I didn’t know they accepted ugly ducklings as trainees,” Riko sneered. She was the school’s “it” girl. Gucci glasses, an apple watch, horrible personality and a voice that could possibly shatter glass. To you, she was the epitome of the word “bitch”, a spitting image of Hiter’s missing testicle.
“Give that back Riko,” Rei huffed, throwing a hand out to snatch the paper back. The bully stepped back. 
“I think I’ll keep this actually…” Riko snorted, “hope you memorised the details of your audition Naoi Rei.”
Rei stood up.
“Give. It. Back,” she ordered through gritted teeth.
“Fuck you. You don’t deserve to be an idol,” Riko scowled, “ugly ducks like you would give people nightmares if they saw you on camera!”
The class erupted into laughter, you’d never realised that they’d been watching. You glanced at Rei. Her hands were clenched into fists, her knuckles slowly turning white.
“Get a load of this,” Riko taunted, pointing at a line on the letter, “we find that you have exceptional qualities and possess a unique personality!”
Riko tore her eyes away from the sheet of paper. “Do you feel better about yourself after reading this? All these lies making you feel good about yourself?” 
Rei’s whole body was shaking. She was about to make Riko catch her hands. You had enough. The legs of your chair dragged against the floor as you stood up. 
“Riko… Do me a favour and shut the fuck up,” you muttered. 
She gave you a look of amusement. 
“Wow! Such a hero,” she remarked causticaly, “do you get off following this bitch around like a dog?” 
You turned and strode right up to her. With as much disdain as you could muster, you looked her in the eye and scoffed. 
“Do you feel better about yourself spouting all this bullshit?” you questioned her, “does it really help you sleep at night knowing that you’re just some petty bitch that gets off on insulting others?”
You snatched the paper away from her.
“Hey!” she barked, lunging at you. You took a step back, relishing the look on her face as she lost her footing and fell. Her cronies rushed to get her back on her feet.
“Grow up. Go do something productive with daddy’s money. You’ll feel better about yourself that way.”
You walked back to your seat and settled back down. There was pin drop silence in the classroom. All eyes were on you and Riko. 
“Little shit…” Riko growled, “I’ll have—”
The sound of your homeroom teacher’s heels clacking against the floor alerted the whole room. Students scurried back to their seats, everyone pretending to bury their heads in their books. Riko shot you a dirty glare before storming back to her place.
“Bitch,” you mumbled, pulling in your chair and adjusting your uniform. 
You placed the letter on your desk and smoothed out the wrinkles on the snow white paper. Once satisfied, you slid it back over to Rei. 
“Get a folder for it,” you advised her, “it won’t crumple so easily if you have something to protect it.”
Rei stared at the letter. As you unzipped your pencil case, you could see from the corner of your eye that a smile was slowly creeping up her face. As homeroom started, Rei scribbled out something onto a scrap piece of paper. With tender hands, she slid the message onto your desk. 
Thank you. 
You stared at her pretty handwriting, a small smirk on your face. You flipped the paper over and wrote a reply. 
You can repay me with a fancy dinner once you become an idol.
Rei read your message and chuckled. With her eyes reflecting the blue in your uniform, she nodded and folded up the paper.
(That was when you were fourteen. She was Naoi Rei—your best friend, neighbour and an aspiring star.)
Rei slammed her locker shut as you approached. 
“Hey,” you waved, “how did the audition go?” 
Rei closed her eyes and sighed. 
“Rejected… Again,” she muttered. You let out a breath and patted her on the back. 
“Damn…” you huffed, “you okay?”
Rei opened her eyes. She smiled, an optimistic glow on her face. Her eyes reflected the blue of the locker.
“Yep,” she declared, “there will be more chances. I’m sure of it!”
You had always admired her drive. 
“I like your thinking,” you told her, opening your own locker to retrieve your things.
“It’s the only way to think,” she replied.
“Preach,” you chuckled. 
Rei giggled and leaned against the lockers. 
“Have you found anyone for the dance?” she inquired.
“Nope…” you sighed, pulling the last book out. “I think I just might go alone.”
You closed your locker. 
“What about you?” you asked in return, “heard you turned down Suguru…”
“Mhm.”
“Why?” 
Rei pouted.
“I don’t like his vibes,” she said bluntly, “besides… I think Nakamura Kazuha has been eyeing him rather keenly. I won’t get in that sweet girl’s way.”
She pushed off the lockers and stood up straight. 
“I don’t get it Rei,” you said, walking next to her as you made your way to class. “You’re getting asked out by all the popular and hot guys, but you turn all of them down.”
“What’s so wrong about that?” she refuted, “why should I go to the dance with someone just because they're hot or popular? It doesn’t make sense to me.”
You climbed up a flight of stairs.
“Well personally… I would jump at a chance to go to the dance with a hot and popular guy if I was a girl,” you expressed. 
“But we’re polar opposites,” she reminded you, “you and I are different. That’s our curse.”
You furrowed your brows. “Curse?” 
Rei shrugged. 
“I dunno… I guess it curses us to always be drawn to each other.”
You reached your floor.
“Ever so poetic Naoi-san,” you told her. 
 She grinned. “I top the cohort in literature for a reason.”
You walked with her to her class. Your classes were adjacent to each other, allowing the both of you to hold a conversation before separating.
“So who are you gonna ask to the dance then?” you couldn’t help but inquire. 
“I won’t tell you.”
“Why not?”
She smirked. 
“It’ll ruin the surprise…” 
She left you with that, quickly breaking away to slip into her classroom door. 
“Oi! Rei!” you called after her. She flipped you off through the crack of the sliding door. With a sigh, you were left to ponder on your own as you slinked into your own class. You plopped your books down on your table and hung your bag off the side of your desk. The classroom was noisy as per usual, the incessant chatter of Junior Highschoolers filling your ears. In your stack of books, you located the newest volume of Jujutsu Kaisen that Rei had kindly purchased for you. The cover was still on, Nanami’s face staring right at you as you folded your legs on your chair. 
You peeled off the plastic cover with care, gingerly sliding out the volume like you were handling a newborn child. The smell of fresh pages wafted into your nose, a smile turning up the corners of your lips as you flipped the book open to the first page.
That’s when the envelope slipped out onto your lap. It was light blue, your name scribbled across the cover with a brush marker. An onigiri sticker kept the flap of the envelope sealed. 
Casting surreptitious glances around you, you made sure that no one could see the envelope. After double-checking to ensure that the coast was clear, you unsealed the envelope and pulled out the folded letter within. It smelt just like a new book, the paper crisp to the touch. You unfolded the sheet of paper. 
I like you. Go to the dance with me. 
You almost dropped it. For a good long minute, you sat at your seat, stunned. 
“Yo yo yo! Watchya got there?” your friend chirped, throwing a hand over your shoulder. It took him a few seconds to read the note, and you could feel his eyes widen. 
“Wait… Is this actually…” he muttered. You swallowed. 
“I… I think so…” you whispered. 
It wasn’t the content of the letter that shocked you. Yes, it was the first confession letter you’d ever received, but the sudden reveal of feelings towards you wasn’t what made you flinch. For at the bottom of the page, a familiar handwriting had left its mark. It was an art piece really, but you never ever admired the hooks and curves of her handwriting more than you did that day.
Love, Rei.
Just like that, Rei had made the first move.
(That was when you were fifteen. She was Naoi Rei—your best friend, neighbour, aspiring star… And the first girl to ever ask you out.)
“Yo.”
You opened your eyes. Rei stared down at you, a glint in her eyes. “How long have you been sleeping up here?” 
You sat up and answered her with a lazy yawn. “I’d say ten minutes tops.”
Rei chuckled and settled down next to you.
“I think you should consider sleeping earlier,” she advised. 
You scoffed.
“It’s summer Rei, let me catch a break,” you grunted. She punched you in the shoulder.
“Don’t be grumpy because I’m caring for you.”
“Who said I was grumpy?”
She grinned. “Me.”
You loved the way her nose scrunched when you tickled her. You collapsed onto the mat with her, assaulting the flesh of her body with a barrage of tickles as she giggled and squirmed. 
“Stop!” she wheezed, dodging your nimble fingers that darted in all directions.
“I’ll stop when I want to,” you sneered. 
On the rooftop of your apartment, you tickled Naoi Rei endlessly under the blue summer sky. 
Eventually, you both got tired. With laboured breaths, you both laid on your backs and watched the white clouds dot the sea of endless blue before your eyes. It was a moment of peace, tranquillity… 
“Did you get any news from that agency?” you asked her. Rei let out one of those heavy sighs.
“Yep…” she answered. Her tone told you everything you needed to know. You wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her close. 
“It’s okay Rei… There’s always other opportunities,” you assured her, “an agency will accept you. I’m sure of it.”
Rei sighed and rolled onto her side. She buried her face into the crook of your neck, her breath tingling your skin. 
“I hope you’re right,” she muttered, “I’m starting to lose hope.”
“Don’t say that,” you frowned, “stay positive Rei… You’ll have your chance to shine.”
She pulled away—just a little so that she could look into your eyes. Here eyes reflected the blue of the summer sky.
“We’re always so different in thought huh?” she pondered. You smiled.
“That’s our curse…”
Rei chuckled and closed her eyes. Your lips met with hers, bodies melting into each other under the clear blue sky. The only thing either of you could hear was the sound of each other's breathing.
(That was when you were sixteen. She was Naoi Rei—your best friend, your neighbour, an aspiring star, the first girl to ask you out and the first girl you ever loved.)
Knock knock knock.
“Coming,” you grunted, getting up from the comfort of your sofa. You set your Jujutsu Kaisen volume down, leaving Sukuna to stare at the ceiling as you shuffled over to the door. When you opened it, she was standing there. Tears ran down her cheeks. She had a letter in her left hand, the paper scrunching under the force of her grip. 
“Rei?”
Her puffy eyes met yours. In the pool of her tears, you could see the blue of her sorrow.
“They rejected me…” she rasped, “they fucking rejected me…”
You stared at the paper in her hands. Your heart twisted.
“Rei—”
“Am I not pretty enough? Am I not doing enough? Am I not likeable? Is my personality all wrong?”
Her fingers were beginning to punch holes in the letter. 
“What’s wrong with me?” 
She looked at you, searching for an answer. You pulled her into your arms. 
“Nothing’s wrong with you duckling… Nothing’s wrong with you…”
She stood there for a moment, her ragged breathing filling your ears. 
Then she buried her head into your chest and cried. Heart wrenching sobs were torn from her being, the last remnants of her dream spilling out together with her wails and screams. You held on to her as tight as you could, fighting back the tears in your eyes as your girlfriend’s dream died before your very eyes.
You held for as long as she needed to be held for. She needed comfort.
(That was when you were seventeen. She was Naoi Rei—your best friend, your neighbour, the first girl to ask you out, your girlfriend of a year, and the victim of a crushed dream.)
“What… What do you mean?” 
Rei stood before you. Long had the gleam disappeared from her eyes, replaced by a soulless expression that remained unreadable. 
“You heard me… Let’s break up.”
Under the blue neon light of the convenience store, Rei looked you in the eye.
“I… I don’t see the point in staying together… We should go our separate ways,” she said, her voice devoid of any sort of emotion. 
“W-What? B-But… Why?” you asked, “d-did I do something wrong? W-Why are you suddenly doing this?”
You took a step toward her. She took two steps back. You stopped. She stopped.
“We’re… We’re different. That’s our curse…” she whispered. 
“H-Haven't we always said that’s a good thing?”
She looked away for a moment, slowly constructing her sentences in her head.
“As different people… I think we should lead our different lives…” She said, sliding her hands into her pockets.  “So yea… Let’s break up.”
“S-So… That's it?” you stammered, “could we at least talk about it?”
Rei chuckled. 
“I think it’s better for us to leave things this way,” she objected, “no hard feelings… it’s just that… You’re the easiest thing to let go of right now.”
She sighed and bit her lip. 
“That’s all from me,” she announced, “I… I hope you find someone that makes you happy.”
Under the blue of the neon light, through the blur of tears, you watched her turn and walk away from you. You tried calling her name, though it came out more as a strained cry.
She didn’t look back. You weren’t sure why you expected her to.
The curse that drew you together now pushed her away from you.
(That was when you were nineteen. She was Naoi Rei… 
And she had shattered your heart.)
Now as she sat before you in a posh omakase restaurant, rummaging through her bag to look for a file, everything she was to you came rushing back in a flurry of memories and emotions. As she set the file down, she kept her eyes on the table as she slid it over to your boss. 
“Thank you,” your boss smiled, flipping open the brown folder to review its contents. You were with her on another one of those client meetups, discussing the nitty gritty details of an event organised by your company's clients. It was set to take place in Shibuya two months from now. There was much to do, much to think of… It was all so fast paced. 
But when Rei walked in behind her boss and you met each other's gaze, everything seemed to come to a standstill. Years after she’d left you in front of the convenience store, she was back right in front of you. 
“It seems like your business has a good idea on what it wants to convey,” your boss mused, flipping through reports and various mock-ups of the venue. 
“Of course. This is a big event after all,” Rei’s boss replied. Your boss nodded and handed you the file. 
“Take a look. Feel free to give feedback,” she instructed. You nodded and accepted the file. 
“Rei here spent lots of time compiling and producing these,” her boss praised. “I can see the effort. Your work has my respect Naoi-san,” your boss complimented. 
“Thank you…” you heard her mutter. Her voice had changed a lot. 
You finished reading through the file as the first course arrived. 
“What do you think?” your boss asked. You set the file down on your right.
“I believe that the plan is… Feasible,” you nodded, “though I have to raise the fact that the logistics exceed the agreed budget by a significant amount…”
“We can always handle that,” your boss assured you, “money isn’t that big of an issue…”
You wanted to argue, but your boss shot you a look. You sighed and caved to her wishes. 
“Very well then… Is it safe to say that this event will take place on the date agreed upon?” Rei’s boss inquired.
“Yes,” your boss answered before you could input. She lifted her sake glass. “Let us toast to a successful project!” 
Glasses were raised, clinking filled the room. As you drank from your cup, you caught Rei’s gaze. 
Her eyes reflected the blue of your shirt. 
***
“You will probably have to go back yourself,” your boss told you. 
“I understand,” you promptly replied, “I will settle my own transport.”
She adjusted the golden earrings dangling from her earlobes.
“Try and make some friends,” she advised, “these types of events are the best way to make connections.”
The elevator door opened, the vastness of the grand ballroom revealing itself to you as you stepped out the doors. You adjusted your suit subconsciously, fiddling with the top button of your jacket. From across the room, Rei’s boss spotted the both of you. He said something to the guests he had been talking to, then brisk walked through the crowd towards the both of you. 
“Thank you for coming!” he beamed, “we’re so glad to have you here!”
“Thank you for inviting us,” your boss answered on your behalf. 
A week had passed since you had that meeting in the omakase restaurant. Work had been hectic for you and your team, but you managed to pull through the week with just enough sleep to keep you sane. The party invite from Rei’s company came as a welcome surprise, and your team gladly accepted the invitation. You opted to come with your boss after work, letting the rest of your team go off without you.
Now as you stood at a fancy looking table, hiding from social interaction by munching on all sorts of food, you wondered if this was really the break you needed. Now that you thought about it, you would have preferred to stay at home and catch up on the latest chapter of Jujutsu Kaisen. Your boss was off talking to Rei’s boss somewhere, you couldn’t really care less. 
“Hey.”
You froze. You were hoping that she wouldn’t be here. 
There was new weight on your plate. You looked down and saw an eclair sitting on the pristine porcelain. 
“Thanks for coming,” Rei smiled, setting down the pair of tongs. “It’s nice to see you again.”
Wordlessly, you stuffed the eclair into your mouth and turned to walk away. 
“Can we talk?” she piped. You stopped in your tracks, the pastry you at leaving a strange bitter taste 
“What’s there to talk about?” you asked. 
She walked around you and stood before you. She was wearing a dress that admittedly looked cute on her, but you didn’t let that comment slip past your lips. The dress was blue, blue like the summer morning sky.
“You know exactly what there is to talk about.”
You chuckled in amusement. 
“I thought you said that it was better to leave things as they were?” you sneered.
“I never said that.” 
“But you did,” you spat. “You said it right in front of the convenience store.”
She looked away for a moment.
“I… I don’t know what you’re talking about…”
You scoffed. 
“So this is how it’s gonna be then?” you mused. “You’re just gonna deny our past? Way to let me know I didn’t mean jackshit to you…”
“Stop being immature,” she muttered. You couldn’t believe what you were hearing.
“Me? I’m the immature one?” you asked, a generous amount of amusement in your voice. “Who’s the one who conveniently forgot about everything we went through?”
There were eyes on you. You didn’t care. 
“Look,” Rei sighed, “we’ll have to work together for the next few weeks… It’ll be better for both of us and our teams if we could just stay on good terms—”
“So what do you expect me to do then?” you interrogated her. “Conveniently forget about everything like you? Sweep everything under the rug and tell everyone that we’re strangers?”
The people around you were silent, watching you with a look of concern. Rei rubbed her brow. 
“I… I’m not expecting you to do anything…” she answered. 
“Then I won’t do anything,” you proclaimed. “We’ll do like you said, leave things as they are.”
In the same fashion she’d left you, you turned and strode away. It wasn’t till the elevator doors closed in front of you did you let out a small sigh. You leaned back into the elevator wall.
You had a few long weeks ahead of you. 
***
She was sitting across you, her eyes reflecting the blue of her computer screen. You didn’t want to admit that you’d been watching her for the past few hours, but you weren’t one to lie. She was focused as usual, her face full of seriousness and determination as her fingers flew across her keyboard. 
Seeing her on a daily basis wasn’t easy. Ever since the party, her company and your company had booked a co-working space for your team and their team to collaborate to work on the project at hand. You’d often make eye contact from across the room, feel her gaze on you as you wrote things down in your notebook… The tension was palpable, and your teammates could feel it. 
“Yo, what’s up with you and that Naoi girl?” one of them asked over lunch one afternoon. 
“Hm?” you asked, hiding the fact that you nearly choked on your tea. 
“I mean… I can’t be the only one that notices the way she looks at you right?” he continued, looking around the table. Heads nodded, eyes contained curiosity. 
“I uh… I don’t catch your drift,” you lied. 
“Aw come on… You like her don’t you?” another piped. “Don’t deny it, we can all feel the tension. Hell, we can almost grab it!” 
A laugh went around the room. You chuckled nervously. 
“I know that work is boring… But you guys can’t possibly be spinning this bullshit to entertain yourselves,” you joked. 
“But—”
“Let’s finish our meals,” you interjected, “we’ve got work to do.”
That was enough to get them to stop prying into your personal life. Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough to stop them from doing all sorts of funny things. When you walked into the co-working space the next morning, you had to resist the urge to cuss. 
They had all rearranged themselves. Somehow, your teammates had managed to get Rei’s teammates on board, seating themselves in such a way so that the only space available was next to Rei. You gripped your notebook with a vice grip, every bit of your willpower stopping you from bashing all of their smirking faces in as you made your way to the sole empty seat.
“Morning,” Rei greeted you. You remained silent and sat down to begin work. 
And that was the way things were for the rest of the project. No matter how early you came in, your teammates and Rei’s teammates were somehow there before you. You admired the commitment they had put into forcing a close proximity between the two of you, but you’d have preferred if they could channel this level of commitment into their work instead. 
A week before you were due to head to Shibuya, all nighters became a common occurrence for you. As the team leader, your boss expected frequent updates and reports from you, and some of those reports required you to stay up till the wee hours of the morning to be completed. Rei shared a similar problem as her team’s leader, resulting in uncomfortably high amounts of tension when it was just the two of you in the space. She didn’t talk to you, and you didn’t talk to her. 
But that Friday night was different. You were packing your things, Rei was still working. As you slipped in your notebook, Rei broke the silence.
“How long are we going to keep acting like this?”
You zipped your bag.
“I didn’t know we were acting…” you muttered. Rei’s hands left the keyboard of her laptop.
“Could we at least talk this out?” she pleaded.
“I thought you forgot about everything?”
Rei leaned back in her chair. 
“I… I don’t want to keep this up anymore,” she whispered. “I’m tired… I’m tired of having to pretend that we’re strangers to each other.”
You set your bag down on the table. 
“Well… Maybe you should’ve thought about that before conveniently forgetting our past.”
“Don’t—”
“Maybe I’d be more willing to talk to you if you’d just said what you really wanted to say at that party.”
Rei closed her eyes and sighed. 
“I’m sorry,” she strained, “is that what you wanted out of me? Did you want me to apologise?”
You rested your hands on the table. 
“I don’t want an apology, Rei…” you croaked, “I want a reason. I want to know why we had to break up.”
You let yourself make eye contact with her. She looked hurt, like she was the one that had been walked out on that night.
“You left me without a reason Rei,” you whispered, “You just… Left me in front of that convenience store. I called, I texted… You didn’t reply. You cut me out of your life… I could never understand why.”
Pooling tears reflected the blue of the lights shining in through the windows. She wiped her eyes.
“So why Rei?” you implored, letting a tear run down your cheek, “why did you leave?”
She swallowed back a sob. “I-I… I can’t tell you…”
You closed your eyes and let out a shaky breath. 
“I guess we’ll never sort this out then,” you warbled, “good talk Rei.”
You shouldered your bag and left. 
She called out to you, and it was your turn to not look back.
It started to rain after you left the building. You’d never felt that the weather could fit your mood as much as it did that night.
***
She didn’t come to work the next day. Nor the day after. 
“Her Mom called me,” one of her co-workers that was close to her explained. “Apparently she got drunk and sat out on a park bench in the rain. She’s running a fever now… She must’ve been stressed by this project.”
You processed this information.
“Understood,” you replied, “thank you for letting me know.”
In truth, you would have appreciated it if she hadn’t explained why she was absent. You had more things to think about since she’d mentioned it. It made you feel guilty for not saying and talking things out with her like she’d pleaded you to. 
Despite your strong sense of priorities, your focus was messed up. You’d like to blame it on the lack of sleep, but you knew that wasn’t true. You caught yourself thinking about her as you poured your morning coffee. You found yourself in a daze when you were waiting in line for lunch. You realised that she’d been on your mind for a whole day when the last team member left for the night and your report was still blank. 
On Monday of the next week—two days before you were meant to leave for Shibuya—Rei still hadn’t shown up. That day, you made the executive decision to clock out early on the pretext that you needed some rest.  A phone call to your mother and a twenty minute drive later, you found yourself outside of an apartment door. 
It wasn’t any random door. It was Rei’s. Well… Not exactly Rei’s since she still lived with her parents.
“Am I really doing this right now?” you muttered to yourself. You gave yourself a minute to think about what you were about to do. 
“I’m just checking in on her… It’s not weird right?” 
Everything about that situation felt weird to you.
“Ah fuck it.”
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
“In a minute!” a familiar voice called out from the other end. The sound of sandals shuffling against the floor grew louder as someone approached. 
The door opened. 
“How can I…”
She stopped mid sentence, trailing off as she looked you up and down. You smiled sheepishly and waved. 
“Hello Ms Naoi… Long time no see.”
Re’s mother made a sound, an amalgamation of syllables that tumbled out of her mouth in a jumbled mess.
“What… What are you doing here?” she finally managed to ask.
“I… I heard about Rei,” you explained, “is she alright?”
Ms Naoi looked you in the eye. With a sigh, she opened the door wider and stood aside.
“Come in dear boy… There’s much to be discussed.”
She fixed you a hot cup of green tea, setting it before you on the tatami tea table that you recognised from your childhood. Rei’s mother knelt down on the cushion opposite you.
“How have you been?” she asked warmly. 
“I’ve been… Alright I suppose,” you answered. Ms Naoi smiled and nodded.
“You look healthy and well…” she remarked, “you’ve grown so much since I last saw you… When was that again?”
“It was… Quite some time ago,” you replied. To be exact, it was 8 years ago. The last time you ever saw Ms Naoi was 2 months before you broke up with Rei. You were over at their place, helping them fix an Ikea shelf because her father had back problems and couldn’t get it done himself. 
“Where’s Mr Naoi?” you inquired, the short jog of your memory suddenly making you aware of the fact that Rei’s father was nowhere to be seen. Rei’s mother sighed.
“He’s dead,” she stated solemnly, “he’s left us for some time now… Car crash.”
You blinked. 
“O-Oh,” you sputtered, “I… I didn’t know…”
“It’s alright,” she assured you, “you and Rei had split by then, and I’m not the type to tell the whole world that my husband is dead… How would you have known?”
Ms Naoi sipped from her own tea cup. You looked around the house. It was smaller than the original apartment, but cosy nonetheless. Your mother did explain that they’d shifted here for cheaper rent. Monetary problems were your best guess.
“I understand that you and Rei have… Reacquainted,” she began, setting down her cup. You shifted on your seat. 
“I-In a way,” you answered.
Rei’s mother nodded silently. 
“How do you feel about her?”
She’d caught you off guard. You expected her to ease into the hard questions, maybe ask you a little more about the type of work you and Rei were doing… You didn’t think she’d launch such a question 2 minutes into the conversation. 
“I… I-I don’t get what you mean,” you lied. 
Rei’s mother rested her hands on the tea table. Time had not been kind to her. She looked visibly worn, wrinkles covering her once smooth and lively face. Her fingers were filled with calluses, wrinkled and bony—A far cry from the gentle, warm hands that used to serve you a snack whenever you were over at Rei’s house.
“Rei… Rei has been thinking about you alot,” she informed you. “She’s been restless since you two started working together… I hardly see her sleep for more than four hours.”
Ms Naoi wrung her hands.  “She missed you terribly after you both split up… I thought that her final rejection letter from the idol industry would be the most she’d ever cry. I was… So, so wrong.”
You stared at her bony fingers, unable to form sentences to communicate your thoughts. 
“She never told you why she wanted to break up, did she?” 
You found the courage to look Rei’s mother in the eye. Slowly, you shook your head. Ms Naoi let out a breath. “After her father’s back problems got worse, we entered a rough patch. Money was dwindling, times were tough. I had to take on two job’s to keep us afloat… And I overworked myself one day and collapsed.”
Ms Naoi fiddled with her index finger.
“Rei didn’t want me to overexert myself, so she took on part time jobs to help chip in to stabilise our income…”
“That’s why she couldn’t meet me as much…” you whispered. 
Rei’s mother nodded. “Yes…”
Your eyes seemed to focus on one spot on the table. Those loose ends were coming together now, questions that’d been on your mind slowly answering themselves as you made new connections with the new information given to you. 
“I always thought that you were the one that broke her heart,” Ms Naoi chuckled, “I never thought that my daughter would be the one to leave you. She loved you so, so much… So much to the point where I thought she loved you more than me.”
There was a moment of silence as Ms Naoi stared at her hands. 
“But when I found her on that park bench two nights before, I realised how wrong I was.”
She looked like she was about to cry. You spotted a tissue box at the edge of the table. Wordlessly, you grabbed it and slid it across the table. She smiled gratefully and pulled a single sheet of tissue. 
“When Rei’s drunk… The things she hides all come pouring out. That night, she talked about you. She told me everything she’d hidden from you… And from me.”
Rei’s mother dabbed her eyes. 
“That girl… That stupid stupid girl…” she laughed softly, “why did she keep all that to herself?” 
You awkwardly cleared your throat and asked, “What did she say?”
Ms Naoi sipped from her cup. 
“I can’t give you the full rundown of what she told me, but I’ll give you something that I think she needs some help conveying to you.”
Rei’s mother reached over and held your hand.
“I think… She still loves you. She always has.”
***
She still loves you. She always has
A car drove by.
She still loves you. She always has
You walked across the road.
She still loves you. She always has
The asphalt seemed to reflect that very line. Sensory overload was what you felt like you were experiencing—The sun was setting behind the buildings, birds flew, trees swayed… You were suddenly aware of all the smallest movements around you. On the bench, you folded your legs in and stared into the sky. The sea of endless blue was slowly beginning to bleed gold. 
“I need a fucking beer,” you decided. 
And so you got one. From the nearby convenience store, you got yourself an icy cold Asahi, cracked it open, and took a small sip. You wanted a drink, but you didn’t want to get drunk. 
The beer helped to ground you in reality, the ringing in your ears slowly fading as you stepped out of the convenience store. Just down the road, a vendor was selling sweet potatoes. 
Dinner.
Beer. Sweet Potatoes. Park. To you, that was the perfect recipe for alone time. With your back against a tree and your eyes closed, you let yourself process the churning feeling in your chest. You were no stranger to this feeling. Your hand ran through your hair as you let out a frustrated sigh. The churn in your chest was nothing but a jumbled up, churned, mixed amalgamation of emotions. It was funny how one girl could make you feel the way you felt. 
Memories came and went in your head, moments that defined your relationship with Rei replaying like they had when you saw her in that omakase restaurant. A personal cinema in your mind, complete with surround sound and every single emotion you’ve ever felt with her. The blue of your past.
“Hey.”
You opened your eyes. She was standing in front of you, dressed in a blue cardigan and her hair looking akin to a crow’s nest.
“Aren’t you sick?” you asked.
“Not really. I just took an extra rest day.”
Silence.
“By the way… Is ‘Hey’ the only word you know how to greet me with?” you continued. She didn’t reply, opting to settle down next to you. You didn’t move away.
“Figured I’d find you here,” she said, “you dropped by our place?”
“So she told you,” you remarked, “I did drop by. Tell your Mom I’m sorry that I didn’t touch my tea by the way.”
Rei nodded and set her gaze forward. Before you, there were two children tossing a baseball back and forth. The blue of youth. 
“What did Mom say?”
“Not much…  She didn’t disclose any secrets if that’s what you’re wondering.”
She chuckled softly. Even though her voice changed, her laugh stayed the same. The blue of your memories.
“Why did you drop by?” she inquired.
“You haven’t come to work for three days. I wanted to see how you were doing…”
She rubbed her palms on her jeans.
“So… You came on purely a work basis then…”
You sighed.
“Not really… It was more personal than anything.”
She stared at you for a moment.
“I… I suppose we should talk,” she whispered. 
You folded your legs up. “I was just about to say that.”
You glanced over at her. She was fiddling with the sleeves of her cardigan. You held your beer can out to her. 
She looked at it for a moment, then she took it and took a swig.
“You go first,” you prompted. She removed the can from her lips. 
“Right…” she muttered, “I guess I should.”
She handed the can back to you. 
“Mom told you what happened to my dad, right?” 
“Mhm.”
“Then you know why I started working.”
“Yep…”
“And now you’re probably wondering why I didn’t say anything to you.”
You didn’t want to admit it, but you knew that this was the time to tell the truth.
“Yes,” you replied. You heard her head thump against the bark of the tree.
“Well I… I’ll just be frank with you. I didn’t want your help.”
You stayed silent to let her continue. She did.
“I knew that you’d do everything you could to help us out. The prospect of you diving headfirst into my problems scared me, because I knew that you had a tendency to over commit.”
She wasn’t wrong. In junior high, you committed at least half of your time there into baseball, thinking that you’d grow up to be a big shot pitcher when you grew up. No one ever had the heart to tell you that you sucked mega balls at the sport, but you learnt the hard way when you left junior high without ever playing a single baseball game for your school.
“And… That was the exact reason why I broke up with you.” 
You raised an eyebrow, failing to make a link between her predicament and your break up. Thankfully, Rei was thorough with her explanations.
“I knew that if I didn’t leave you, you’d find out eventually, and you’d want to help. Then I’d have to reject you, then we’ll argue and… I-I couldn’t go through that cycle. Yes, it’s selfish. Yes, it’s an assumption. But I… I just had this feeling that I’d rope you into my mess if you started to help us out.”
Her voice was wavering by the second. You didn't look at her because you knew that seeing her cry would make you cry too.
“I had to save you from myself so… I left,” she finished. “That’s… That’s it…”
There was a moment of silence as the long unanswered question had finally been brought to a close. With a sigh, you readjusted your seating position. 
“I suppose it’s my turn then,” you mused.
“Yea… I-I’m listening.”
You’d been thinking about this moment for a while. You had a plan on what to say, what you’d do, how you’d convey your pain and anguish into coherent sentences… But now that the moment was here, your grand speech had been lost in your mind. didn’t know what to say to her. 
With as much courage as you could muster, you opened your eyes and turned your head to Rei. You didn’t know what to make of the look that she gave you, but past her tear-glazed gaze, you could make out the blue that always seemed to be reflected by her eyes.
It was the blue of youth.
It was the blue of your past.
It was the blue of your memories.
It was the blue of your love. 
Blue was the colour of the night sky—the setting of when you made that promise to never forget each other. Blue was the colour of your uniform—the clothes that you’d accepted her confession in. Blue was the colour of the summer sky—the sky that you shared so many kisses with her. So many things, moments, emotions… All dumbed down into one simple colour.
And within Rei’s eyes, that was where your blue was. The blue resided there. The blue remained clear.
“Forgive me but… I’m going to curse at you Rei.”
She sat there. Her mouth hung open ever so slightly, her mind unable to fathom what she could possibly say. A tear rolled down your cheek, summer-like colours dazzling your vision. Rei squeezed her eyes shut. 
“Let it out,” she warbled. “Let’s fight it out if we have to.”
You stayed silent for a moment, thumbing the tab of your beer. The direction you were taking with this would be a far cry from Rei’s long-winded, heartfelt explanation. But then again… The curse of you being different from her still remained. Whether it pushed her away or pulled her back was in your hands
So you looked her in the eye and released the curse that had been stuck at the back of your throat.
“I’m still fucking in love with you Rei.”
You weren’t sure why you had to phrase it in such a strong way, but it simply felt right in your head. Rei watched you carefully, as if waiting for you to continue, but you had nothing left to say.
“Is that it? Is that your thing now? Giving me one-liners and leaving it as that?” 
You could only stare at your beer can.
“I’ve never been good with words Rei… You know that…” 
She went silent for a moment.
“Neither of us have been good at communicating,” she remarked, pushing her hair back behind her ear. “It’s one hell of a problem isn’t it?”
She was right. Neither of you were able to communicate how you truly felt about each other up until that point. Finding the words to tell her how you still loved her was hard, so hard that you had to cuss just to get your point across. It felt rather bleak, even pathetic to an extent if you had to admit.
“I guess that’s one similarity between us,” you chuckled. “Looks like the curse of us being different isn’t as prominent as we thought.”
The corners of Rei’s lips turned up into a smile, one of fondness. “Right… That curse.”
She reached out her hand. You handed her the beer can. She tossed her head back and took a swig.
“Since we’re out here airing our thoughts… Can I say something else?”
“Not gonna stop you.”
Rei set the can between the two of you.
“That night, I told you that you were the easiest thing I could let go of… Do you remember that?”
It was hard to forget. She’d devastated you with that line, left you questioning your self worth for an extensive period of time. Of course you remembered what she said.
“Mhm,” you hummed. 
Rei sat there for a moment.
“That… That was a lie,” she uttered. “It was a lie… You were the hardest thing to let go of.”
You had a feeling she’d say something along those lines. But you still chuckled and said, “Really?”
Rei wiped her eyes. “Yes…” 
You sat on it for a moment, then you asked, “why?” 
“Because I loved you. You were the world to me.”
Loved. Were. Past tense. You wondered if what Rei’s mother had disclosed was true.
“And what about now?”
She glanced at you. “What do you mean?”
“How do you feel about me now?” 
Her lips curled into her teeth.
“I still love you… I always have.”
Ah… There it was. You’d heard it from her mother, you’d heard it from her. Thesis confirmation. 
Your sweet potatoes had gone cold inside the paper bag. You hadn’t touched it since you bought it.
“You know Rei… I’ve thought about what I’d do if you ever told me that you still loved me,” you chuckled. “I had a whole speech planned and everything.”
Your fingers gripped a blade of grass and plucked it out of the ground as you vocalised your thoughts. “But now that you’ve actually said it… I don’t know what to tell you anymore.”
“Neither do I,” she replied.
You caught her gaze. She held it. 
You blinked. 
She surged. 
When her lips pressed against yours, your senses stripped from you as everything went still for a second.  For a moment and only a moment, it felt like all the wrongs in the world had been righted, a void in your chest made whole. It was only when your back hit the grass did your senses come back to you—A sudden wave of sound, a burst of colour, the smell of her hair, the taste of her lips, the feel of her body pressed up against your chest on the grass. Your hand instinctively wrapped itself around her waist, holding her close to your body as she kissed you gently, tenderly; letting the kiss burn on your lips for as long as she could allow it.
The blasted need to breathe eventually interrupted. Her lips pulled back. Her eyes fluttered open. There on the grass, in front of a bunch of people who were probably giving you the oddest of looks, Naoi Rei had made the first move on you once more. At this point, it was made clear what you were to each other.
Your voice faltered, a hot tear rolling down your cheek as you called her name. “Rei…”
“Yea?”
Her face fit right into the indent of your palm, a familiarity in the sensation of her warm cheek in your hand.
“Please keep loving me. Don’t let me go again…”
Her hand clutched the fabric of your shirt, gently tugging on your t-shirt; pulling you closer.
“I don’t plan to go anywhere,” she replied. “I’m staying… For good this time.”
Everything about the situation felt so right. Once more, reminiscent of that time on the rooftop under the clear blue sky, your lips found hers. A shared breath, a shared moment. Her body felt warm against yours, her hands finding their place on either side of your face, as if she believed you might disappear if she ever let go of you again.
It was a gentle kiss, one of passion and of love.
It was a gentle kiss, one of longing and of need.
Your blue was becoming clearer than ever.
“Take me out,” she whispered. “Somewhere, anywhere… I just want to be with you.”
Your lips curled into a smile. “Aren’t you supposed to tell your Mom that I’m sorry for not drinking the tea?”
“Fuck that,” she giggled. “Take me somewhere.”
You thought about it for a moment.
“How does a tour of my place sound?”
***
Courage. That’s what it took in that moment to bridge the gap between you and Rei. It felt awkward to be vulnerable around her once more, to be honest and speak your mind around her. You had to re-open old wounds to re-establish that connection between the two of you.
But the effort paid off. 
With her back pressed against your apartment wall, your tongue dug into her mouth. She held your face tightly in her grasp, pulling you in, pulling you closer. She wasn’t going to let go, neither were you.
“Fuck… I forgot how good that felt,” she rasped. 
“I’ve always been a good kisser,” you winked back. 
“Now I’ve got a curse for you—Shut the fuck up.”
Your hand reached under her chin. “Make me.”
She did just that. 
Stumbling, pressing, pulling, tugging… She was far from gentle as she forced her lips on yours. Wild? Frantic? You had no words that could describe how rough she was. You weren’t too sure how you got into the bedroom, and you sure as hell weren’t sure about how your hand ended up beneath Rei’s jeans, but you knew that she was so incredibly needy. 
A smack of her lips. She broke away from you. 
“You always liked to rush into things,” she mused as she watched you unbutton her jeans.
“And you always talked a lot… Where do you find the energy to speak this much?”
Her jeans slide off her legs with ease.
“I dunno… Where do you find the energy to read manga after work?”
“How do you know what I do after work?”
She pointed off to the side. You followed her gaze to the shelf next to your bed. 
“Still into Jujutsu Kaisen huh?” 
You chuckled.  “Uh huh… But I’m into something new now…”
She smirked. “Let me guess… Me?”
She was spot on.
You took off your shirt. She unbuttoned her cardigan.
Unfasten, remove. Unfasten, remove. 
Skin to skin, you pressed your lips on hers. Your hands found the cool skin of her tummy, her hands rested on your shoulders.
“You have a great body Rei,” you told her. 
“Thanks… I’m rather proud of it.”
“As you should be.”
Her hands held your forearms, breath on your neck. Her bra was still on her. 
“May I take that off?” you politely requested. 
“I dunno…” she smirked, “do I want to let you take it off?”
“That’s up to you.”
With a smile, she reached behind her back.  “Give it a second… It takes a bit of manoeuvring.”
“I’m not planning to go anywhere,” you grinned. 
Her eyes met yours. Within Naoi Rei was your blue.
“Neither am I.”
click 
The fabric atop her chest loosened. Left strap, right strap. Off her body and onto the floor. Simple, quick and alluring. Rounded, shaped and inviting—Her tits sat proudly atop her chest, light nipples standing at attention. You found yourself gawking, a tightness growing in your underwear.
“It’s… It’s rude to stare you know,” she quipped.
You snapped out of it. “Sorry.”
“You better be… Did your mother not teach you how you should behave with a woman?”
You rolled your eyes. “Don’t bring my Mom into this.”
“I bet she’d be real disappointed if—”
Her gasp tore through her sentence. Your mouth found its place on her left breast, gently sucking on the nub atop the mound. Her hand slipped beneath the waistband of her panties.
“You’re so fucking wet,” you grinned. 
“All… Your fault,” she manages to retort, a hint of feistiness in her rebuttal. 
“You’re right. Let me take care of it.”
Your digits slipped past the dripping folds, entering the warmth of her insides as you started to feel around inside of her. Juices coated your fingers, flowing from the tip of your pointer to the base of your wrist. Sighs filled your ears. 
“Baby…” she whined. Her hips bucked when you found the soft patch of flesh on the roof of her walls. She didn’t hold back on her cries when you began to wiggle your fingers, fingertips vibrating back and forth about the same spot as she squirmed on the bed. Luscious thighs clamped around your hand, locking your wrist in place while you worked your magic on her. Her front teeth revealed themselves when she bit down on her lower lip. 
“So… Good…” was all she could say. Wracked with pleasure, driven by need… Rei was a work of art. “L-Like that… Just like that!”
You never remembered her to be this wanton. Then again, it was your first time with her. It was a new side to Rei, a breath of fresh air from the usual cutesy, lovey girl that she was around you. You never knew that she was so well endowed. Then again, Rei never wore anything that flaunted the curves of her body or the swell of her breasts. It was all new to you, a new sensation, a new feel.  Her hips were bucking. Filth continued to pour out of her parted lips. Your mouth found itself back on her erect nipples, giving them the attention that they deserved. Her hand found your head, nails digging into the back of your skull.
“That’s it… Suck them…” she rasped. “Suck my tits, they're yours…”
Your eyes caught hers as you looked up.  “All mine?” 
She nodded furiously. “All… Yours.”
A flurry of motion. Your fingers exit her. Rei’s panties are removed, thrown somewhere in your room. In a matter of seconds, you're positioned above her, cock lined up with her flushed lips.
“I’m gonna own you Rei,” you growled.
With visibly flushed cheeks, she smirked and challenged your gaze. “Less talk. More action.”
You entered her with one firm, strong stroke, burying yourself inside the tight flesh of her body. Rei lets a long, drawn-out moan out as she’s filled with your cock. The moan soon turned into a long string of pleasurable sounds as you began fucking her. Her thighs opened, spread and stayed that way as you begin to fuck her with quick and strong thrusts, firmly spearing yourself within her and making sure she felt each entry and exit in and out of her tight body.
Your delight peaked at the sight before you—Those perfect curves of hers, those large round breasts and her full, flushed thighs bouncing and quivering with each thrust. Her eyes were half-lidded with pleasure, locked on yours from the moment you entered. The blue was replaced with lust and need. 
“So fucking good…” she moaned. “More… Give me more…”
You entered her harder, deeper. You move your palm up her body to capture one of her bouncing breasts. The feel of her sweat beneath your skin as you palmed the soft flesh was titillating. Her hardened nipple poked out between your fingers as you squeezed the sensitive flesh with your hand. Rei clasped your hand on her tits with one of her own. She squeezed your hand, passionate and encouraging, urging you to tighten your grip on her mounds. The soft curse that escaped her lips when you obliged told you everything she wanted you to know—She wanted it. She wanted you. 
“I’m gonna cum,” she said. The way she conveyed it only urged you to do more. Your movements became more urgent. Though your own orgasm was building, you resolved to make sure she enjoyed hers first.
The hand clutching yours on her breast squeezed your own tighter and tighter. With her body almost completely flushed against yours you increased the tempo of your hips as they crashed against hers. Your hand left her breasts, sliding down to grip her full hips, pulling her into your crotch as you thrusted into her. You slammed her against your body even as you thrusted deep with your shaft, impaling her as hard as you could with each thrust.
“Oh God!,” Rei cursed, “I’m gonna cum so hard! Oh! I’m so close… I’m gonna cum… I’m gonna—”
You silence her with a hand around her throat. “Do it, Rei. Cum for me.”
A dark look crossed Rei’s face. As if on command, Rei did just that. You watched as she was ruined by pleasure, losing control of her movements as she withered helplessly on top of your mattress. Her pussy pulsated around you, tightening and loosening, clamping down fiercely around your shaft. Her mouth opened—a soft, strained moan, one of pure pleasure, a gentle release of emotion. You released the hand around her throat.
You slowed your thrusts, letting her slowly wind down from the high while keeping your own orgasm at bay. Sweat glistened on her milky skin, her chest heaving. Her eyes were shut, lips parted to let sweet, fresh oxygen enter her body as she breathed deeply. 
“Why… Are you so good at this?” she huffed.
“I think I’m just a natural,” you grinned. 
Rei rolled her eyes. “You little narcissist. Come here.”
Her lips graced yours. The must of her sweat was wafting into your nose now, but you couldn’t care less. 
“Hey,” she called after you’d broken the seal. “You’re my first…”
You let that sink in. “Really?”
She nodded. “Yep… One and only baby…”
“Wow… I guess I’m… Honoured?” you responded. Rei laughed and pushed your hair out of your eyes. 
“Now’s not the time to tell me how you feel,” she lectured, “now’s the time to make me scream and make a mess out of your place.”
“We’ll have to clean up though…”
She smacked you on the shoulder. “Figure of speech dummy.”
You chuckled. “You know me—I’m bad with words.”
Rei giggled, resting a hand on your chest.
“But you’re not too bad with your actions,” she simpered, “so why don’t you talk less and do more?”
You challenged the jeer head on. “You sure?”
She sat on it for a moment. A familiar grin made its way up her face.
“Are you gonna make me change my mind?” she asked.
“Depends… What if I can?”
“I’ll… Buy you lunch for a month.”
You let yourself grin. “Same wager as last time huh?”
“I guess,” she shrugged. “Now how expensive is your couch?”
***
You were certain that you were bleeding from at least four points on your head, but you didn’t really care. Rei’s nails dug into your skull, acute pricks of pain littering your skull as she moaned your name. You’d found another way to make her squirm.
Your mouth on her crotch drove her off the rails, the loud gasp that left her throat being the biggest indication. You delivered long, slow licks from bottom to top, the flat of your tongue covering every bit of her pussy before settling on her clit. You swirled the tip of it around the hard little bud, bittersweet and tangy taste of her juices flooding your mouth. Her warm, sticky thighs wrapped themselves around your face, keeping you right where you want to be—Between the pillow heaven of her thighs and right in front of that dripping slit.
“Oh… Oh fuck… You eat me… So good,” Rei drawled. Her voice had taken on a new tone, the pleasure coursing through her body filling the filth spilling forth with generous amounts of need.
She’d make a great singer. You thought to yourself as she started to practically flatten you on her pussy. You wondered why all those agencies turned down a honey sweet voice like hers. 
Then again, she wouldn’t be moaning the way she was in an audition. Maybe she would if it was a casting call.
“Oh keep going… I’m so close,” Rei rasped, hips thrusting upwards in a desperation to chase her second orgasm for the night. You were happy to make her cum as many times as she liked. Your goal was to divulge every single method that would make her squirm after all. 
Pure filth—raw, unfiltered curses and explanations began streaming out of those parted lips. Her body tensed, her eyes rolled. 
The quickly built orgasm took Rei completely by surprise. She twitched, quivered, writhed on your couch as the pleasure completely overwhelmed her. You could hardly hold on to her wildly shaking thighs, struggling to keep your mouth locked onto her crotch as she thrashed about. Her sweet fluids dribbled down your chin, dripping onto your couch and ensuring you a rather complicated clean up. A future problem for future you to solve. 
She pushed you off her, her upper limit reached. Her head hit the cushioning of the couch, tremulous legs barely able to stay upright. 
“Change your mind yet?” you jeered.
“Fuck… You…” she managed to spit.
“Ah… Guess not,” you huffed. 
Maybe you needed something fresh…
***
“B-Baby…”
With her slim tummy pressed up against your kitchen counter, you pushed her hair over her shoulder so that you could see the delicious curve of her back. You looked down, watching as your rock hard cock disappeared and reappeared between the folds of her tight little pussy. Your shaft glistened with her fluids, lubricating your member to the point where you were sliding in and out of her almost effortlessly. 
“Harder,” she pleaded, “fuck me harder…”
Both your hands reached around her small frame to fondle those amazing breasts. “You sure.”
She nodded vigorously. 
“I’m a good girl… I can take it…” she whined, “Please… Give it to me…”
There was something about the way she vocalised her infinite need. A certain feel, a certain tone… Whatever it was, a dark part of you relished the way she pleaded to be fucked the way she liked it.
It turned you on to no end. 
Your right hand tore itself away from her breast, snaking up her collarbone and wrapping itself around her throat. Without warning, you applied pressure to her windpipe. A raspy gasp left her as you start to properly fuck her, giving it to her just the way she wants.
“Yes… Y-Yes baby…” she mewled, “fuck me… Fuck me like this… Own me.”
She had said it. She was yours for the taking. 
Drilling in and out of the tight hot warmth of her body, you railed her with quick deep strokes. With each stroke, you concentrated on pumping hard and fast, filling her as much as you could while you relished the tightness of the flesh wrapped around your cock. Skin slapped against skin, mixing with the delightful squelch of her pussy as the two sound waves mixed into an arousing symphony of pleasure. To top it all off, Rei’s strained cries floated above the sounds, filling your ears and filling your desire to make her quiver on your cock.
“Ugh…” Rei strained. She was gripping the counter with a knuckle-white grip, desperately trying to release her pleasure somewhere, anywhere. Her tightness was overwhelming—overwhelmingly tight and hot, overwhelmingly wet and slick. It grasped you tightly with each entrance, just like a glove. It sucked you in, held you, then released you. It was working all sorts of wonders on your body. 
“God Rei… I love your tight little pussy,” you growled into her ear. The hand around your throat limits her to a series of grunts and moans to reply to you. You pinched her nipple with your free hand. Her pussy clenched tighter around you. Her hand finds your one on her throat. She squeezed it tighter. 
“Har… Der…”
You weren’t one to refuse. 
You were practically ramming yourself against her. All the while, her eyes are glued to yours as she looks over her shoulder at you, those eyes glazed with pleasure and lust and just a hint of blue in her eyes, face twisted in a vinous mix of pain and pleasure—unfiltered lust. 
Soon Rei was cumming. Her mouth opened in a frozen, wordless “O”, her body tightening and pulsing around you. Her small, curvy frame quivered and shook as she momentarily lost control of herself for the nth time that night. You slowed your thrusts, gradually coming to a stop just as the tingle in your shaft was at its peak. You wanted to save the load for when she officially changed her mind. 
You almost forget about your hand clasped around her throat as you watched her cum. It was only when she frantically tapped on your hand did you release her throat from your grasp. She gasped, sweet sweet oxygen refilling her lungs as she slumped forward on your kitchen counter. 
“Shit… You okay Rei?” you asked with genuine concern. She gulped down another breath of air. 
“I… Still… Don’t change…” she panted. She didn’t need to complete her sentence, you knew what she meant.
“Feisty little duckling,” you sighed. It was getting frustrating. Your cock was aching for the sweet release of your orgasm. 
But your ego wouldn’t let you cum before she yielded. You decided that perhaps a nice warm shower could change her mentality.
***
The warm water fell over both of your bodies. Her skin took on a smooth, creamy and quality as it flowed over her perfect body, flowing over her round breasts and flying from her outstretched toes as her legs shook with each thrust. Blonde hair was plastered to her face, her cute features twisted by lust and pleasure. Nails dug into your back, arms pressing you tighter against her. Her pulsing pussy tightened around your shaft, a sign of yet another impending orgasm. You redouble your efforts.
“Cumming… Again?” you half grunted, half teased.
“Yes! Oh fuck I’m so close!” she shamelessly admitted.
Adjusting your grip on her tender ass, you lengthened your thrusts. Deep, hard and fast—you fucked Rei with her back against the cool tile, eliciting cries that echoed throughout your shower. Rei wrapped her legs around your waist, spreading her legs wider for you to get as deep as you could possibly go. She was holding on, grounding herself in the midst of her pleasure while she was being fucked senseless.
“Fuck Rei,” you hissed. “You're so fucking tight.”
“So… Full…” she managed. “I’ll… Never… Fuck…”
She could barely form sentences, the corner of her brain in charge of that rendered useless by the throbbing, rock hard meat that relentlessly slid in and out of her pussy. You had been relentless with your assault, thrusting frantically between her thighs from the get go. Your pride didn’t allow you to cum before Rei yielded. Till she did, you would gladly fuck her, finger her, eat her out… You’d make her cum a hundred times over if it meant beating her. 
You shouldn’t be this competitive considering the fact you’d just reunited with her, but something about the carnal way you fucked her and the cries you forced out of that mouth of hers made you believe that she’s enjoying every second of what was happening. She wanted it, loved it, needed it. She was about to break soon, you could feel it.
Her will finally snapped, the last straw on the camel's back laid. Willingly, she dug her face into the crook of your neck.
“Fuck the wager… I… I just need you,” she admitted. “Please… Cum together with me.”
A small sense of euphoria filled you, but it was quickly replaced by the pent up lust within your being. For the next few minutes there were no more words, only the sound of wet flesh hitting wet flesh and the long, uninterrupted stream of wordless moans escaping Rei’s mouth as she willingly gave in to you against the shower wall. Forehead against hers, your measure ploughed her wet, hot pussy again and again, her tight body rocked from head to toe with each impact of your crotch against her own.
Then in a moment of sheer bliss, you both groaned and succumbed to your orgasms. The pleasure that flooded your body was indescribable, warm, hot semen erupts from your shaft into Rei’s pulsating, welcoming depths that milked you of every last drop. Basking in the intimate moment, you held her close to you, her breath filling your ear to the backdrop of the falling water. 
When you pulled out of her, a thick load came oozing out of her creamy little pussy. Her eyes opened, held your gaze… You let yourself swim in the blue that had found its way back into her eyes, as if it never left this whole time. 
“I guess… I changed my mind,” she panted. You chuckled weakly.
“That’s what I thought.”
***
As it would turn out, you’d share a lot more firsts with Rei. Her first time buying a Shinkansen bento, her first ride on a Shinkansen, her first time out of Nagoya… You had the privilege of enjoying these experiences that were all new to her by her side. You’d forgotten what it was like to have her in your life, but the familiarity of dating Rei would come back sooner than you thought. 
Kisses, hugs, whispers. 
“I love you”s, jokes, petty bickering.
Her hand in yours, the blue in her eyes, that smile on her face. 
It all felt so nostalgic, teenage years flying right before your eyes. You’d both aged, but you were both the same teenagers that fell in love all those years ago. She was your everlasting blue, a blue that would never go out of style.
One new thing in your relationship was working together. She had a serious side to her that you were getting familiar with, and she was getting used to your task oriented nature. Notebooks filled with your different handwritings, diagrams were analysed and discussed. You wondered why you never got to work with her sooner. 
Another thing that was new was the sex and the fact that you were working together now. The night before you were both scheduled to leave, you’d learnt that she could fit your whole length into her mouth without gagging. The morning you were set to leave, you learnt that she loved the feeling of being choked while taking your cock in and out of her dripping pussy. The night you got back to the hotel after a briefing, you learnt that she had a tendency to let her hands drift all over you in the shower. She also had a tendency to moan extra loudly while you fucked her atop the sink. 
New day, new things.
“You ever think about dying sometimes?”
You raised your head from your notebook to stare at Rei. With her head resting on a pillow, she stared up at the ceiling.
“Where is this coming from?” you couldn’t help but ask. 
Rei shrugged. “Dunno… Just thought about it…”
“That is a horrible way to think…” 
“And this is coming from the guy working at 10pm?”
You shut the book and sighed. 
“Someone has to be responsible…”
“And that’s my problem because?”
Your lips formed a thin line. You smacked her with your book. 
She yelped. “Hey!” 
“Cry about it,” you replied. 
Rei pouted and sat up. “So this is what I get for trying to initiate conversation.”
“Who starts a conversion by talking about death?” you questioned.
“Me, dummy,” she retorted. 
“I worry for your boss… He wants you to talk to clients?”
She snatched your book away from you. “Nag, nag nag… Jesus, you’re like my Mom!”
You clicked your tongue and snatched your book right back. 
“Someone has to parent your childish ass,” you muttered.
Rei’s haughty expression softened. 
“Yea…” she chuckled. “Guess you’re the best person to take care of me huh?” 
You let out a small laugh. She shifted herself closer to you. 
“You okay?” she asked you. You nodded.
“I’m fine…” you assured her, “just a little tired”
“It’s fine,” she brushed it off, “I understand.”
Rei yawned next to you. You slipped an arm around her waist, pulling her closer to you as you opened your notebook back up.
“You wanna know something?” she asked. 
“What?”
She rested her head on her shoulder. A soft, warm whisper filled your ear. “I love you.”
You didn’t need to look into her eyes to know that the blue was being reflected in her eyes. Your blue would always reside there after all.
For she was Naoi Rei—The girl that shattered your heart and put it back together again. She loved you. She always did.
And you loved her too.
/_______________________\
If you made it all the way here. Thank you so much for reading. I sincerely appreciate all the support you've given me. Have a great day :)
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ohwaitimthewriter · 4 months ago
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BEAR WITH ME and my sloppy ideas but I know I've already mentioned some grooming time in the touchy-feely headcanon BUT I need to elaborate a little bit more by adding this:
So, grooming is an important thing for apes to create bonds and to strengthen them.
As far as you're concerned, it's easy for you to groom them, I mean, they are COVERED with fur, the choice of is all yours, you chose wherever (and I mean it WHEREVER) you'd like and here you go for a grooming session and you're in for having a muffled purring ape under your palm.
BUT
The other way around is another story. As human, we are quite limited on this aspect
Here, I do believe Noa and Caesar would act differently:
Noa would certainly work with your hair, maybe braiding them and making sure there are no knots or muddy stuff in there. He would also check all of your body for bruises or small scars and you're in for body inspection, and yes you have to remove that shirt so he can SEE if anything is wrong on the skin of your belly and up your sternum and here you have to stop him cause he'll try to get to your breast but not in public for god'sake PRIVACY. He will pinch at your skin to check if you're well hydrated and massage where he feels there is some muscle tensions even if it means to massage the inner part of your thigh and NO I AM NOT GOING TO ELABORATE ON IT HERE I AM A PURE SOUL *gasp in chock* (*winkwink*).
AND CAESAR oh that boy I swear he'll drag you to the river because oh you wanted to wash yourself? Sure I CAN DO THAT FOR YOU. Well, now he can't swim so of course he stays on the edge of the water, maybe even with the water up to his knees at most, but he made you sit in the water in front of him and why would you try to hide your intimacy duh he's your mate so please lift your arms up he's going to wash you (and massage your soft skin around your breast but shhh 🤫 it's because you have some mud in there that does not want to go away so it needs a bit more attention from him) and he does take great care of your skin, making sure the water remove anything that should not be there and he's just so soft with it. He will take delight in your scent and he's just happy while exploring your body and sorry about this quick gentle bite he got into your wrist while gulping your scent but mud there was really sticky to your skin so teeth were needed 🤭
NOW I'M DONE ELABORATING.
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expectiations · 6 months ago
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I still find it funny that people call eleven a "deadbeat husband" and their marriage "toxic" but twelve is the "perfect husband" and their marriage "wedded bliss" all because of the few moments we'd seen between 11 and River were them being "toxic". yes of course! let's ignore how the minisodes show how that description isn't true and even how little moments in the episodes themselves – "what? that's it?" (why haven't you kissed me goodbye? are you being sly on purpose so I'd kiss you first?) and "they wouldn't bury my wife out here" and the music room is the heart of the home and it's not a ghost story, it's a love story – show 11 cared and put in the work and yes, they're going to have disagreements like the ones in TATM because duh who doesn't but it does not mean it is the entirety of their relationship but people have taken it and made it the entirety of their relationship.
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x-blue-spring-x · 16 days ago
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Omg i dreamt that a random being came to me at night when I was in bed and started fooling around with my body. I kept my eyes closed because I was scared, but he was pretty good at it so I got horny and into it.
He started fucking me slowly but deep, with a long, smooth not too thick cock, and it was goooood. I started groping his body, because duh, and it kept changing between forms- from a super buff guy to something less human and more gelatinous??
Then he switched from my pussy to my ass, and to help the transition, some kind of soft and wet protrusion was rubbing my clit a lot like a tongue would, then he stayed in his buff form to fuck me like that. Omg it was amazing. He also asked me to look at him. Since he was staying in his muscley man mood, i looked and wasn’t quite sure what i was looking at, other than a buff dusty dark purple skinned monster. Whatever counted as a mouth came down and latched to my right nipple, sending me into overwhelming pleasure that i was simultaneously trying to escape and have more of.
I only wish i was able to stay in the dream longer to come. Alas, I woke up before that could happen. In any case, i kinda like to think thats how fucking a gentle sukuna would be like, except sukuna would have a thick monster cock obviously, and probably two of them.
Oh i just remembered! I was begging the monster to change his form to have two cocks! Imagine that, a cock for each hole, sukunas tummy tongue to play with your clit and grind on, and him trying to suck your soul out of your tit.
For some reason i felt like i had to share this with you.
I am so glad you shared this with me my bby! My first JJK ask I could cry!!
Here’s some very gentle Sukuna for you ❤️
He doesn’t come to you often, the king of curses, yet most nights you find yourself waiting for him.
Not a soul knows about your strange guest. Every shared breath is trapped between you and him in a silent lovers promise. The people in your village would be frightened, and admittedly you thought it was a sign of an impending apocalypse when you first saw him, stood at the end of your sleeping pad. Impossibly tall, four arms muscle bound and ringed with the blackest ink, his red eyes had gazed at you through the velvet darkness, seeking and searching for something unknown.
He smelt of death wrapped in a smile, cinders and ashes against the heaviest amber. Intoxicating, it made your head swim, all thoughts muddied and confused like the banks of a river after heavy rains. Perhaps that was part of his strange charm, the heady drunkenness you feel in his presence, enough arrogance to drown in and a wide mouth that curls across pointed, sharp teeth.
Still, the power he holds over you, over the lands your people farm daily, is enough to encourage you to spread your thighs for him. To give the monster softness, somewhere gentle to rest for a few hours before he disappears into the mists again. You would be lying if you said it was just that through. He’s insatiable, hungry and brimming with furious need, but beyond that there’s a curious softness displayed only to you and no other. For you are chosen, special above all humans. Marked in a way that leaves no room for argument.
Dreamlike, the low moon paints everything in a blue cast, cool and dappled through the thin walls of your room. The nights are drawing in, a chill settling over the forests and mountains surrounding the small place you know as home. Your breath is steady, a little tug of the sheets to cover your shoulder. Then you hear it, the creak of the wood under his heavy feet, a scent of smoke clinging to the midnight air.
Sitting up, you’re confronted by the full breadth of him, chest rising and falling rapidly with the promise of what’s to come. He tilts his head, cat like. Those duplicate crimson eyes blinking lazily at you, dark lashes fanned under them.
Quietly you shrink from under the soft cotton, inviting him closer without needing to speak. His nose twitches as he inhales, a smile curving across his broad mouth until his sharp teeth snare his bottom lip.
“So eager. Did you miss me?” Voice a low rumble, thunder purring beneath the surface of it, Sukuna regards you. There’s something burning in his face, a hunger that he’s never able to satisfy when it comes to you, so pliant and weak in his wide palms and under the bite of his canines.
Your response is a nod, shy and timid as it’s been months since you last welcomed him into your bed. The jet coloured markings across his body seem to grow darker, framing a jawline cut like glass. He lets out a low purr, padding towards your mattress while his stare narrows, taking in the flesh ripe for him, your body the only altar that’s ever seen a being like Sukuna sink to his knees. Your mouth meets his, hot and heavy, never the gentle soft kisses you expect from a moonlit visitor. His tongue flicks against yours almost at once, so greedy, wholly devoid of propriety or valour.
Sukuna pins your body beneath his vast one, lower arms making short work of your night clothes as he dominates your lips, sucking until they tingle and bruise under him. His upper hands find purchase in your hair, tugging your face closer still roughly, winding against your scalp until you let out a whine of protest.
When your eyes flutter open he’s watching you, both pairs zeroed in on your expression, as his broad lower palms grip the meat of your hips.
“Don’t be rough.” You whisper. It’s a strange feeling, understanding that no other could ever demand a thing from him without receiving instant death in result. He’s still holding your locks tightly, forcing your throat close to his grinning mouth. Sukuna doesn’t look angry, instead he seems faintly surprised, probably because the nature of your relationship has been mainly carnal as opposed to intellectual.
“I know no other way.”
His voice is husky, strained even. So carefully you run your own fingers across shoulders bound by ridged strength. He purrs again, this time lower and far more gentle.
You jump slightly as a droplet of saliva hits your stomach, threading its way along the skin of your navel. The mouth on his torso matches his grin, the huge tongue lolling and seeking out the hot scent of your tight cunt. Wantonly you angle your hips up to meet it, allowing it purchase on your mound until the wetness trickles lower and you whimper at the feeling.
Sukuna lets out a noise of fierce approval, rearing up to slot your pussy against his torso, watching the way his tongue immediately dives into the heat of your core, the thick muscle lathing unforgiving strokes along your seams.
“Fuck!” He exhales, lowered eyes closing briefly with ecstasy, pale pink hair bleached white in the low light. “My little human whore did miss me then.”
Always darkly possessive, Sukuna’s thick fingers bite harshly into your thighs, spreading you wide as his lower mouth traces circles on your clit. Gasping, you grip his forearms, feeling the tendons bunch and release beneath his skin. Lights start to pop under your eyes, knees shaking so violently it makes him laugh. A vicious chuckle without any shred of sympathy. Without warning his upper set of hands find your throat, tugging you upwards and into the safe embrace of his lower limbs. You moan at that, wrenched away from the pulse of his broad tongue, the spit mixing with your slick is so viscous it drenches the mat beneath you.
Sukuna lets a tsk out at your moans. Clicking his teeth as you struggle to collect yourself, so close and yet so far from the sweet release you’ve craved.
“On my cocks, or not at all.” Face to face his whirling stare glimmers, lids heavy with the need to sink inside you.
He spits onto one palm, wrapping an arm around you and probing your tight, puckered hole. Massaging and rubbing until he can slip one thick finger in and then two. Vaguely you realise he’s showing kindness in his own way, lessening the intensity of having to take one of his shafts without any preparation.
You can feel them, heavy and dripping with creamy pre-spend as they rest between your legs. Sukuna draws you up closer to him, binding your arms tight to your sides and sliding his cocks between your thighs, coating himself in wetness until a rasping groan leaves the back of his throat.
“So fucking drenched.” Briefly his tattooed forehead rests against yours, like he’s struggling to master himself. Then with no warning, he’s breaching your body, cocks probing and parting your sticky flesh until you almost feel them in your throat. It’s almost too much, you’re so full of him, his scent clinging to your skin and filling your nose like incense. You push backwards against his chest, asking for patience, for some distraction from the burning stretch of him.
“Shhh.” His mouth finds the shell of your ear, warm air making you shiver as he opens you up for himself. That vast mouth on his stomach finds your clit again and you keen, sympathetically rolling your hips as you seek the right amount of pressure to bring yourself down from the ledge of overstimulation. It doesn’t take long for you to grow bolder, digging your nails into his marked back, begging for a movement on his side that will send you tipping off the precipice of perfection.
“Beg me.” His coarse, deep voice sounds far away as he starts to meet your feeble thrusts with the power of his own hips. “Beg me to let you cum.”
“Pp-lease!” You stammer without pausing to think. “Please my lord!”
Sukuna groans into your hair, lower arms still holding you tightly while his weighty palm contracts around your throat. He’s fucking you now without holding back, sinking deep until you drench his balls, the tongue beneath his mouth moving ceaselessly.
“Milk my cocks then, remind me how a human whore does it! Now!”
The command of his voice is final, your body is well trained to it. You cum hard, shattering around him as you choke out a cry, voice box pressed hard under his fingers. He doesn’t let up in his rhythm, but you feel him throbbing inside you, both cocks pulsing as you constrict. The pain of his bite to your neck only fuels the fire, and you lose count of how long he’s been buried within your cunt and ass, filling you to the brim with his potent seed.
When morning comes, he’s gone again. Only leaving the lingering smell of charcoal on your sheets.
Maybe you dreamt it, but you’re sure you felt someone pressing sweet kisses over your collarbone in the early haze of morning. When you wake you’re tucked up tightly, like he’s made sure to protect you from the cold even in his absence. A dainty, blood red flower sits on your pillow, leaves vibrant against the snow white linen.
Perhaps not such a monster after all.
He’s a big softy.
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bonny-kookoo · 2 years ago
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Jungkook: Restless 🔞
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In which Jungkook is simply restless, especially when making love to you.
Tags/Warnings: WAY MORE ANGST WHY IS IT SO ANGSTY, Idol!Jungkook, ADHD sex position challenge I guess?, Roma made me do it, obviously smut, multiple positions duh, primal feel?, angsty sex, denial is a river in egypt, protected sex (reader has an IUD), cum, body fluids oops, sweat?, he cums inside and outside lol, biting, manhandling, oops my hand slipped and now I wrote porn with feels again
Length: 1.6k baby, look at that
-⊶-⊶-⊶-⊶-⊶-⊶-⊶-⊶-⊶-⊶-⊶-⊶-⊶--⊶-⊶-⊶-⊶-⊶-⊶-⊶-⊶-⊶
In the time of knowing him, Jungkook had always been restless.
He can't sit still for long, can't concentrate on one thing only, has to do something at all times it seems. Only sometimes, rarely, does he become lazy or tired, it seems. You cherish those moments just as much as the rest of the time you spend with him.
Now, you and Jungkook aren't necessarily.. a thing, at least not traditionally. He worries a lot; about his job, about you, about what could happen to the both of you if anything ever went public. But there's also this sinful feeling of doing something you're not supposed to, like a kid sneaking candy behind their parents backs. There's no denial even for you that you can't help but go back every single time. The feeling of longing sometimes just.. overwhelming.
You know this is gonna hurt you at some point. Maybe it won't hurt him as much, but it will hurt you, most definitely. He's sacrificed a lot and often throughout his lifetime already- who says he won't sacrifice you as well?
He's an Idol, a performer, singer, entertainer. He's made for the stage, made to be loved by millions, and you'd never force him to forget about that and leave this life behind. No. He's got it all, and he deserves it all. It's going to be fine. You'll just enjoy the times you have with him, the memories you're making.
It's not just sex, after all. You both often simply spend time with each other as friends as well. And you believe that that's what he actually sees you as- a friend, who's just a bit more intimate than a friend should be. And while his love might just be a daydream made up by your head to make your heart hurt less, his lust for you is most definitely real.
You don't know why he finds you so attractive, and you'll probably never fully understand it. Maybe it's because you're.. there. You're available. You're all he gets in this life, without fearing the consequences.
Jungkook is an old-school romantic with a twist here and there. He holds doors for you, helps you sit down at the dinner table whenever he cooks, opens tightly closed jars for you. He's a horribly cruel man in that department- because he always gives you attention, and something that might feel like it could potentially be love- but it's not. It's just a plastic rose that's going to catch dust at some point, never to bloom and never to rot either.
It'll just be thrown away, polluting the environment. Just like him leaving you one day will pollute your heart with feelings heavy and burning like molten lava, merciless.
"I- fuck." He gasps out as he halters his hips for a second, grip on them loosening as he kisses down your spine, your back arching downwards as you fall into the pillows below, entire bed already a mess. He's out of breath, and so are you- but you know he's not done with you yet. He's never just a hit-and-run kind of guy. He works his body until it literally gives in, never satisfied with just a one-time-high with you.
And he's also a carnal lover, raw and untamed.
He bites your skin, marks it up for you to remember, but also for himself to admire. Unbeknownst to you, he's hopelessly in love with you, no matter how hard he tries to distract himself, or scold his own emotions for acting out like that. You're just going to get hurt, and he knows this. He wants to end it every single time, but he also crawls back to you every night it seems, desperate to feel your skin beneath his fingertips, taste you on his tongue. He's starving, even though he's currently taking his fill.
Maybe that's why he feels so desperate every time he's with you like this. Maybe that's why he feels as if nothing is ever enough. As if he can't get close enough.
It scares him, admittedly.
With his hands on your hips, he slips out of your heat, obscene sounds accompanying every movement as he maneuvers you onto your back, hands pushing your knees apart in an impatient manner, before he slips back inside. With his knees digging into the mattress below, he holds your wrists close, pulls you into every thrust like that, jaw clenched and eyes unmoving, focused on you and the way you look.
Divine. Enchanting. Absolutely beautiful.
He wants to cry at how your skin seems like it's made of glass with the slight layer of sweat. He used to hate it on himself, used to hate it on others as well, but in a weird way, when it comes to intimacy with you, nothing seems to bother him at all. Not your slick coating his thighs. Not your spit drooling down his length whenever you give him head. Not the cum he covers you with at the end of every round.
He wants it all. He wants you.
His knees seem to ache after just a few moments, muscles itching to move in other ways as he pulls out yet again, making you whine. "I can't-" He stammers, unsure what he wants to say. He doesn't know why he's especially restless this time. It's like nothing feels quite right.
Until you climb onto his lap, pushing back his chest to get into a proper position to ride him. It's moments like these that simply hurt him, because you're always so attentive to his needs. You don't seem to need any verbal communication with him at all to know what he needs, what he wants.
And yet, you're oblivious of his feelings, or so he thinks.
He wants to keep you safe, hold you close, show you off and hide you at the same time. He just wants you, nothing else, and that's not just his lust speaking for him.
No, he's not like that. He knows what's right and what's wrong. He knows when to listen to his heart, and when to ignore it. But with you, he can't. It's all so loud, his thoughts, his feelings, his brain won't shut up about you it feels like.
He sits up with you again, pushes you closer by the small of your back, crosses his legs and finally kisses you again.
He keeps kissing to a minimum most of the time, hates how good it feels, how comfortable it is, how much it affects him. Your lips are so soft, moving in perfect sync, and when you tease his piercing or bite his lip, he just can't help but growl out because you just have to be sent from hell by the devil himself with the mission to drive him mad.
There's no way a person can fill his mind and body up like this simply by existing.
He's desperate by now. His cum already sticks to your tits, has already made its way down to your belly, some of it even rubbed off on his own chest, but he still isn't satisfied. He's close, so close, and his muscles are yelling at him to stop and rest, but he can't stop now.
"You close?" He murmurs between his open mouthed kisses, lips traveling along your jawline now before his head falls into the crook of your neck, teeth gripping any flesh he can as he marks you up. You just whine, and nod. You stopped trying to count your highs with him. It's surely never just one, however, that much you're sure of.
You know by now how to tell when he's close as well. His actual end, that is.
The muscles in his thighs tremble visibly under the stress he's forcing them under. The veins along his arms and hands are prominent, sweat dripping along his neck and chest. He will become more vocal, start to whine, even growl, hips becoming erratic as he collects every little last drop of strength to make sure you'll finish alongside him. "Hold it." He demands, teeth clenched together as he suddenly becomes more forceful, the sound of skin against skin loud and obscene echoing off his bedroom walls, as you whimper beneath him. "Fucking hold it.!" He growls out, palms grabbing your thighs before they slip beneath the small of your back, lifting you up a little for that very specific angle he knows will send him off the edge. "Cum baby, fuck!" He finally tells you, before your hips start to move erratically, no longer under your control as your orgasm hits you full force.
You don't notice the way his cum stays inside, this time. Because he doesn't pull out, keeps you close, falls to his side with you in his arms.
He doesn't know why he feels so incredibly emotional this time. As if he just cant hold himself together anymore, if he doesn't have his arms around you. The room smells like sex, air stuffy, bodies awfully slick from your entire endeavor. Usually, it ends like this. Usually, he will part from you, shower by himself to give you time to get your strength back up enough to clean yourself up after him. He hates leaving you on your own like that, wants to care for you before and after the act because that's how you're supposed to be treated, but he knows, the longer he keeps you close in a headspace like that, the more he will end up hurting.
But tonight, he can't bring himself to leave you.
Tonight, he holds you tenderly, kisses fluttering against your bare shoulder, as he feels your breath start to even out.
Tonight, he will clean you up first, before he will change the sheets and shower himself.
Tonight, he will let you sleep in his bed together with him while he airs out the room, cold chills forcing you both under the covers that smell like fresh laundry and unfulfilled dreams.
Tonight, he will let you have his heart.
Tonight, he will break.
And so will you.
-⊶-⊶-⊶-⊶-⊶-⊶-⊶-⊶-⊶-⊶-⊶-⊶-⊶--⊶-⊶-⊶-⊶-⊶-⊶-⊶-⊶-⊶
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jungwnies · 1 year ago
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syn ' a-z alphabet (safe for work) yang jungwon pairing ' bf!jungwon x gn!reader
requested ! i am soooo sorry this took so long... i lowkey forgot about it until i came back on a few days ago
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a ⋆ affection - how affectionate are they?
he's literally a cat
he's so affectionate with you
always cuddling
always playing with your hand or your fingers
literally attached to the hip
b ⋆ bonding - how often do they bond with you?
all the time
hes a big bonder duh
whenever he isn't at schedules
he spends all of his time with you
c ⋆ communication - do they keep in touch with you when they're away?
yes ofc
but he's leader
so he only gets to give you a lot of his time while he's at the hotel
he texts you through out the day but he can't hold a conversation until the day is over :c
d ⋆ dates - how often do they set up a date for you two?
all the time
but they will be the most cute dates
arcades, carnivals, festivals, amusement parks
little walks around the river and very pretty scenery ofc
e ⋆ essential - what is the thing that is important to them?
family
friends
the usual
the relationships he has with people
and lastly, the members
f ⋆ friends - how did the friendship start?
in school
you guys were definitely forced to work together on a project
and from there you guys became friends
g ⋆ gross - what is the thing he hates in your relationship?
lies
omg he hates liars so much
h ⋆ hugs - do they like hugs? how do they feel?
ofc he likes hugs
he loves them so much
they're always so loving and comforting
his embrace is like home
i ⋆ i love you- how fast do they say i love you?
he doesn't say it first that's for sure
he says it when you say it
because he doesn't want to mess anything up
he's scared to lose you or scare you away with the love bomb
j ⋆ jealousy - how jealous do they get?
not very jealous
but he definitely gives whoever is checking you out a dirty look
k ⋆ kiss - how good are they at kissing?
he's a good kisser
not the bomb.com
but his kisses are sweet :C
l ⋆ love - how do they show their love to you?
giving you his time
when he puts anything down just to pay attention to you
that is how he shows you he loves you
he just loves spending time with you ugh
m ⋆ mad - how often do you argue?
not often
but sometimes
but they are never bad arguments
n ⋆ naughty - how do they deal with you annoying them?
he annoys you back
duh!
doesn't get mad though LOL
o ⋆ open - how often do they open up to you?
all the time
you are his backbone
his support
his everything
he always opens up to you
p ⋆ pet names - how are they with pet names?
babe, baby, jagi
just the simple ones
nothing too crazy
q ⋆ quiet - silent treatment?
he gets pouty
but never silent
r ⋆ ramble - how often do they talk about you to others?
all the time
he boasts about you like it's his job
forget being an idol
talking about you is his new career
s ⋆ soft - how soft are they to you?
literally the softest with you
so sweet
always cuddling with you
bro is literally a cat???
t ⋆ think - what reminds them of you?
animals
everytime he sees a cute animal
he thinks of you
he will see a bunny and be like
"it's almost as cute as MY y/n"
always says "my" before your name
cus you are his
u ⋆ unhappy - what makes them break if you break up with them?
just the fact he can't hold you anymore
the way his bed feels so empty without you besides him
makes him
so
fucking
sad
so
dont even
think
about
breaking
up
with
jungwon
otherwise
both sides of your pillow
WILL BE WARM
v ⋆ vacation - how are they with long distance relationships?
he's so bad at this
nothing that can break a relationship
but he just can't handle it
as well as some people can
w ⋆ wholesome - the sweetest thing they ever did to you?
obviously when he surprised you by coming home early
x ⋆ extra headcanon
expanding on him coming home early
you were really sad because he was on tour
for literally so long
and he told you he wouldn't be back for another 3 weeks
because there are new added dates
but little did you know the later dates weren't for another 2 months
so when he came in and surprised you
you wanted to cry
tears of joy obviously
y ⋆ young and beautiful - (how long does it last?)
a very long time
but i don't know if it will last forever
i feel like he would be the type to be in a super long relationship
and you guys just
fall out of love.
DAMN
i should write a story about that
z ⋆ zzz - how do they sleep with you?
he always has an arm around you
keeps you close because
he never knows
when he will have to leave again
so he keeps you super close
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twinfools · 2 years ago
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I think it’s a testament to the resilience and resourcefulness of trans people that we often come out and make our way in and through spaces that are not built to support us. We build the bridge as we cross the river, so to speak. And I also think it’s fucked up that we have to be the ones to build that bridge in the first place.
Years ago I supported a transition plan for a brave kid who was coming out at his school. The school had no idea what to do— he was their first (out) trans kid. So I spoke with the kid, we made a plan as to how he wanted things to go down and we completed that plan through education and administrative changes. The school was really on board and it went really well.
The next year they called me again and said “you’ll never believe it… we’ve had 6 kids come out and want to transition at school”. And duh of course I believed it. Why? Because that kid had built that bridge for the school and now people who had been there the whole time were using it. It’s amazing that first kid came out and forged a path… but he shouldn’t have had to have been amazing to be himself.
Don’t wait for your first out trans person to build that bridge. Take the initiative and build that bridge for us before we show up cause we’re all very tired of being the brave and amazing ones.
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