#rissi rambles

[rissi-chan]

(Spite voice) I want. To make. My Rook!

-Me, screaming into the void for an early character creator in an undemanding, but rather totally hype/overly-excited way

[rissynicole]

I just adopted my very first cat and this shit is so weird. It’s like there’s a tiny panther in my apartment

[melodyofthevoid]

Melody birthday?? Happy birthday! Belated birthday? Happy day! 🎉🎂🥳

Happy day! Happy day indeed

[miguelsbrat]

Thank you so much for the tag, @justahopelessssromantic ! This was super fun 😍😍

Rules: 10 fandoms, 10 characters, 10 tags. Start a new post and list 10 characters from 10 different fandoms!

1.) Miguel Galindo | Mayans MC

2.) Elijah Mikaelson | The Originals

3.) Nick Amaro | SVU

4.) Kol Mikaelson | The Vampire Diaries

5.) Joel Goran | Saving Hope

6.) Max | In the Dark

7.) Stiles Stilinski | Teen Wolf

8.) Lorenzo | Medici

9.) Liz Ortecho | Roswell NM

10.) Scotty Valens | Cold Case

(I know I cheated sort of, but I like what I like 😉😉😉)

I'll tag @elejah-wonderland (no pressure!!) and since I don't really know anyone else in this fandom yet, I'll just tag anyone who would like to try 🥰🥰🥰

[violetsbaudelaire]

saw some shit that was like “[picture of classic spyro] is voiced by [picture of elijah wood]”

like NO SORRY SWEETIE that is classic spyro, who was voiced by TOM KENNY (the absolute LEGEND). you’re thinking of the shameful and abhorred legend spyro who was voiced by elijah wood (bless his heart).

get ur facts right ass of dumb

[rissynicole]

Okay, this topic always gets me all indignant, because I ended up getting that insufferable “I liked it before it was cool bleh” dynamic. I discovered Lemon Demon all on my own and even chatted about how much “Touch Tone Telephone” reminded me of Dib over PMs with a friend. Then, not even a month later, sometime in 2017, I saw it all over the fucking place in the fandom.

Was it there all along, and I just didn’t see it? Did we all independently discover it on our own at the same time? I have no idea, but it was kind of a weird experience to see it just explode in the fandom right after I had listened to it and connected it to the characters.

reblog if you were on 2019 invader zim tumblr i wanna test something

[dana-chan-the-control-brain]

Top five fanfics?

Oh fuck (gets shot)

Well, I shot myself in the foot with that one.

Keep in mind, these are in no particular order, and I'm a bit of a pleb when it comes to reading fanfic. I just tend to like what's popular or stuff written by my friends.

I need to give Height Treason by @wholesomeklei a huge shout-out.

I'm not sure if this fic will ever be continued or not. Last I heard of Klei, they had a cancer scare (it wasn't) updated a chapter about Sizz-lorr and then vanished from the internet entirely. I hope they're taking a much needed break from online stuff and nothing bad happened to them.

But anyways, I can not thank Height Treason enough for existing. It gells with the humor of canon so seemlessly it feels like I'm watching an "Invader Zim after dark" show. Yes, even despite the not safe for work canon.

I love the lore they weave and I'm always a fan of "zim finds out the truth of his mission and schmoops and gets revenge on the Irken empire" stories. Also Pining Zim has my whole heart.

And it even paints side characters with much love.

Membrane tries his best and sucks at parenting and it inspired me greatly for how I write and came to understand Membrane as a character.

Miss Bitters is a delight. Sargent Slabrankle gets a cameo. Tak's ship has an existential crisis. Gosshloog gets an entire chapter about a spicy love afair with his boss. Zim's Computer is his usual sassy self and has ackward conversations with a frustrated teenage Dib.

Like the love for the side characters is amazing.

Height Treason was the fanfic that inspired me to write an entire fanfiction based on Computer Brain lore.

The lore is amazing, it's in character and this fic inspired me SO MUCH and is the reason that Tech Support (and the Brainbrane fic by extension) even exists.

I've probably reread this fic over twenty times.

However, I can't link the fic here, since it's VERY nsfw. As in, explicit sex scenes later. (The chapter where zim learns sex education is great)

So I can't link it, but it's easily searchable on A03.

If you're of age, and don't mind nsfw I highly recommend it.

Honesty Hour by @patchworkpoltergeist is one of those new fandom classics.

Like I don't even know how describe this fic.

Honesty Hour chills me to the core and has me looking at my ceiling for hours on end questioning my own existence.

Like it's Zim gets therapy, but in a psychological horror way.

Patch is a master wordsmith and just has a way of describing things. Everything is in the details.

I just love how Zim thinks and that half the time I don't know what's going on as much as Zim does. Which is honestly more scary then I think.

There's lots of details that I miss and usually after talking about the chapter with Patch or the Moo-ping10 gang, I realize "oh fuck that's what happened?! The hell"

Anyways. I fear and look forward to every update.

But I honestly have to run a mental health check before I even attempt to read the chapters.

Emotions, Cryptids and the possible end of the world series by @bamsara

I feel Bamsara does onto theirself and I don't need to sing her fics praises but I will.

I am a bit behind on my reading, cause I haven't read the latest chapter of Galaxy Days yet.

But I love the casual yet feral friendship Dib and Zim have built throughout this series.

There's just a constant yearning throughout the whole thing, and the two boys are at the center of it all. Like the feeling of a real long road trip with no destination in mind. That's often what these series of fics feel like. There's an underlying tenderness and longing but also something dark and sinister. A lot of moments stay in my head for days after the fact. Not just the cryptids of the fic, but the smaller moments. Zim and Dib having breakfast in France as the sun rises, Dib crying his eyes out in a dingy motel room near the beach, Zim breaking into Dib's hospital room in the dark, Dib attacking Zim in a fit of insomnia hallucinations....

The list goes on.

There's plenty of good moments, and I've even drawn Zim giving Dib space (cause that's the fucking gayest romantic thing and I still lie in bed thinking about it)

Also Dib constantly running into Death's arms and Zim often doing fisticuffs with her and both getting stupid trauma over stupid decisions is very good.

I feel a lot of Sara's soul in these fics and it shows. Especially with how Dib is written and I can tell this is an extremely personal project with passion behind it and I can't help but admire that.

Every star another sun series by @dionysuscrysis

I really love this series. The end.

Okay, unfair.

But Dion's series really needs more views and appreciation.

I like how it just skips over the "zim and dib become friends somehow....realizes mission is fake..yadda yadda" part of the story and just jumps right into the thick of it.

Space Adventures! Wooooo!!!!

A giant sandworm, a Battle Zoo!!! An alien spa, badass good guy Skoodge, and mad max style sci-fi racing.

And I'm glad that Dib is already in his early twenties here. And Dib is just so smart with machines and not a complete lost duck in space. He's sharp as a tack and dumb as an ox this boy and I love him very much.

Lol I'm old. I'm sick of seeing teenage drama sometimes.

And I can also feel a lot of Dion's soul in their fics.

Lots of hurt comfort in here....

It's actually kinda like the Bamsara effect in reverse...

Instead of Dib throwing himself head first into danger...

Zim is the one doing it.

And Dib thinks an appropriate way to fix this is throw himself at the same danger.

Idiots.

Help them.

Parade of Indignities by @rissynicole

Finished recently and since then my heart has never known peace.

It's one of those fandom classics that I ended up reading due to Bamsara's fic recommendation list like roughly two years ago.

Rissy has a way with words and their strengths lend themselves to action scenes extremely well.

Zim finds himself critically ill and it's up to Dib to travel back to irken space to save him.

Thats the basic premise but there is so much more.

A conspiracy, involving the other Invaders, Zim's massive wall of denial, and how everything Zadf happens from Dib's perspective.

I remember reading all the available chapters (like 15 of them) all in one night until 5am the first time I read it.

It's a master suspense and thriller story and I enjoyed it very much.

I still have to leave a huge comment.

Also honorable recommendations:

@melodyofthevoid 's Royalty AU.

....just. it good. Save these kids.

And ofc me and @paketdimensioncomic 's collab fics:

"Jerking around the House" and "Membrane's guide to be a better parent, lose your fucking arms"

You're a delight to work with and I love how your writing style compliments my insane ramblings so they're less wordy.

Also gotta give a shout-out to my Baby Tech Support.

Is it vain to plug your own fics? Maybe.

Do I care.

Nah.

I love my stuff. And I'm glad others do too.

[tetsustation]

APPRECIATION POST !!

in another words, lina loves her friends a little too much & doesn’t necessarily know the right means of expressing it </3

cass [ @misutv ] ��� uh im in a sappy mood so if you’re not rockin with the sap please scroll! epic, okay. hi... lol hey. thanks for pushing me to do this. now i know you know that i love you, with my chest! from when we first started talking to all these months later, that feeling hasn’t changed (even though you took two months ALLEGEDLY to warm up). i think our friendship is unique in the sense that i really never expect anything from you, when we’re on the phone or texting it feels natural and when i think of you my first thought is that i want whats best for you. isn’t that crazy? i don’t think i say it enough, but i care a lot about you—about all of you, whatever your feeling at any given moment or whatever project you chose to pursue at the time just know i’m there to back it and never expect anything from you, besides just that—you. i hope this is making some sense, knowing me this might be a bit of a mess, a ramble even. still, i think your exceptional—inside out, i’m really glad to be your best friend even if its just through some silly little app. i appreciate everything you do for me, even if i’m shit at saying so, because its baffling that you feel so inclined to dedicate some time in your day to me—i could melt i think. fair warning, i’m gonna crush your lungs at the airport. all my love loser >:)

hesther [ @hesthermay ] — how many months has it been now? hesther, you are such a solid constant in my life and i literally cannot thank you enough. from our strangely comparative music taste to the oldest sister bonding, i really feel like your the one person i can really resonate with that i haven’t met in person (yet). even if it’s weird to say, i love reading your marvel drabbles and personal pieces because it’s oddly intimate in personal in a way that implies a lot of trust. i know i can rely on you if i need anything, and vice versa. every week i pull you into my world, and the next week you pull me into yours—it’s an entertaining constant that remains me i’m not alone in my silly little struggles. i’m really glad i met you, and i’m so grateful i get to call you my friends (and i get butterflies when you call me butterfly). not to be gross but please don’t stop being you, it makes me smile, thanks hes <3 love you. 

selene [ @hajigumi ] — hey whore (lovingly). we’re coming onto two months now and it doesn’t really feel like it but i guess i’ll take it. honestly, it feels like we’ve known each other for a really long time—maybe its the same timezone thing but you just feel so familiar. i get a little skippy when you tell me that i’m stuck with you because i really love being your friend, its such a comforting experience and i’ve grown such a fondness for you i don’t think will fade. you suck, frankly, for being so welcoming. i love hearing about your day, boring or not—and i’m grateful your always willing to be about mine. despite what anyone says, your a great cat mom and an even better friend... giggles... love you mwah.  

ly [ @kyotarou ] — i almost typed out the govt name help... babe i love you so much. it’s impressive how you put your heart into everything you do, and it’s really shocking to me when you yourself don’t realize just how much of yourself you put into the things you do. just today when you were making those little polaroids, the dedication that you had to finish them and package them all pretty was truly heartwarming. that, among many other things—including your work which is always quality despite the seemingly mass production of it. i know your younger than me, but i aspire to be like you in that respect. your wit never ceases to amaze me and i think you were one of the first people i felt comfortable thirsting with because our taste is so similar (daishou fucker solidarity i think). i have such a strong appreciation for you as a friend and i hope it stays like that for a long time. 

angela [ @oikirstein ] — i think i’m gonna take a step in the right direction and try to be civil (kidding) but bestie when you’re sending audio messages of you scream sobbing about manhwa i can’t help but giggle. something that drew me into you was your humor, because honestly, i couldn’t help but feel really comfortable with you? even one on one, its just easy to talk with you because theres always so much on your mind—so much so that it’d be impossible to be bored. NO YOU KNOW WHAT SIDETRACKING BECAUSE YOU JUST CALLED ME THE EVIL TWIN UM. angela please never change, i don’t think i could bare it. i tolerate (love) you... ig....stay swag. 

violetta [ @hikariakaashi ] — once again i am tempted to pull out the govt name HELP. that’s just how comfortable we are with each other, i think. you were one of the first people to interact with me on hq tumblr, so far back that you probably remember my red/black alyssa layout lol—but thats really shocking to me because our friendship has grown so much sense then. it makes me giggle to think that i can just text you about stupid stuff and you’d tolerate it. you’re another person i feel as though i know in real life, its just so easy talking to each other, and my only hope is that we get even closer. mwah mwah!

rissie [ @levbug ] —rissie rissie rissie! i don’t care how much we slander and tease you, i love you to bits. please because you’re so funny and easy to talk to i feel like we’re besties. i could listen to you ramble for like an hour i just wanna hug you bae, thank you for being the only armin lover in the room—it makes me feel very seen. we gotta stick together >:)

rheya [ @diorpieck ] — hey rheya twirls hair...i really have a lot to thank you for because without hq radio i wouldn’t have met over half the people on this list and it baffles me how close we’ve become since. you are such a natural leader and i feel so honored i get to talk to you (the fact that you handle me is just as surprising). thanks for looking out for me and everyone else, because i don’t think we’d be where we are without you. thank you :>

jade [ @iwaizoom ] — jade i honestly do not know how to say this but apparently i’ve followed you since like last july (this is news to me too) and i’ll spare you the speech—but in short there was some fan behavior. i truly love talking to you, its so smooth and your energy is beyond welcoming. laughing at stupid shit with you makes me giggle like crazy and i’m so glad i get to call you a friend. stay in school mwah!

issy [ @cafemiya ] — hey pissie <3 i don’t know what it is but your presence is so comforting i love just talking to you, being around you, interacting—it feels like spring if that makes sense. you’ve written a lot of my comfort fics on this hellsite and for that i am permanently indebted to you. please consider this the start of my reparations and just know your existence in and of itself makes me all bubbly (lovingly) KISS! 

nayru [ @luvoratomi ] — i feel like we’ve known each other forever even though it’s only been a few months. still, you’re so consistent which is something i really admire about you, your messages to ask me about my day or hanging out in the discord is so grounding because i know i can count on you—which sounds silly but just know despite the teasing i love you a lot <3

cal [ @lovekags ] — don’t tell anyone but you’re my favorite epic gamer cal, i know we just started getting close but you’re so incredibly cool and talking to you feels so natural! your raw skill in so many different areas is baffling to me and makes me all blushy lol, thanks for rockin with me and i can’t wait to see how that powerpoint turns out >:)!!  

[rissi-chan]

DA:TV Thoughts I Have Not Been Able to Get Out of My Head since Tuesday (mild spoilers from previews below):

1. I wanna pet the baby (Assan)

2. Literally desperate to hear the rest of the voices for the cast.

3. So hype for body sliders. I can finally be a short, qunari queen or a tall, curvy elf, if I want to be.

4. Give me a glimpse of the character creator and my life is yours.

5. I am in the minority in NOT hoping for/wanting an enemies-to-lovers with Lucanis (I'm a mage main but also sensitive and value harmony too much lol)

6. Lucanis, in general

7. Buff elf and baby griffin

8. Old man necromancer

9. All the companions, tbh. I adore them all already and can't wait to get to know them in-game.

10. Protect Varric at all costs (RIP Bianca)

11. I need it I need it I need it I need it I need it I need it I need it I-

[rissynicole]

For fucking YEARS at this point, this moth has shown up as the very first profile in my “People You May Know” list on Facebook

We have no mutual friends. This is the only picture on their profile. What the FUCK Facebook

[melodyofthevoid]

Do you like Zib as a character?

N- n- N....... I don-

Noidontithinkhesoverratedand-

FUCK

[studyingstuffwithem]

🚨SMALL BUSINESSES ALERT🚨

Please support the following small businesses this holiday season! (DM me if you want a shoutout for your small business) 

1. RoseyLime Thrifts

2. Acid Drip & Thrift

3. K. Scott Craft Co.

4. Rissy Rose Sews

5. Rebel Row

6. Expressions by J

7. Rambling Way Designs

[miguelsbrat]

I blame and thank you for getting me obsessed with Angel Reyes and Miguel Galindo. I've never even seen one episode but I'm hooked on them. I am definitely starting Mayans m.c. asap.

Hahah well I would say I'm sorry but it's nice to have company over here at the thirsty table 😂 You def have to watch it! I never watched SOA and was able to follow it 😍

Let me know what you think, friend! 🥰💕

[rissynicole]

...I mean... it’s not wrong...

i made a goth, scene, emo generator  

[idkxwriting]

Another Love - Part 6

Author: idkhaylijah

Pairing: Elijah Mikaelson x Reader

Warnings: cursing 

A/N: Guys! Thanks so much for all the love you showed me yesterday! It meant the world and it made my birthday super special. Also, as always, you’re incredibly patient with me - and this got longer than I anticipated, so there will be another chapter or two.

Catch up here

I’m running out of gifs - Rissy I need you to make me moodboards lol

“When I suggested we meet for a drink in the middle of the afternoon, I was implying coffee, Damon,” Y/N watched as her friend sipped his bourbon.

Damon let out a breath, side eyeing her. He put his glass down and patted the stool next to him. “Yea, well, it’s been one of those days.”

She sat, signaling the bartender that she’d take the same. “Your brother’s girl?”

“Yup,” Damon said, popping the ‘p’. “What about you?”

Y/N groaned, dropping her head into her arms on the bar. “I slept with Elijah.”

“Shocking,” he said sarcastically.

Y/N sat up and sipped her drink, letting it burn her throat on the way down before it settled heavily in her stomach, warming her belly. “Kol’s home. He almost caught us. Not to mention he’s technically my boss and now it’s ending before it even started.”

Damon held his glass up to hers. “To love. It’s painful, pointless, and overrated.”

“I’ll drink to that,” she clunk her glass to his before chugging it down, wincing at the taste.

“You know what we need?” Damon asked, signaling the bartender to leave the bottle.

She shrugged, resting her head in her hand as Damon topped off her drink.

“We need to get completely wasted and forget all about them. No more Elijah, no more Elena. Let’s just get them both out of our systems.”

“What on earth are we drinking to this early in the day?” Kol sidled up to Y/N, taking her by surprise.

“Kol, hey! You’re here! Damon, it’s Kol.”

Damon nodded, tilting his cup towards him. “Hey man, I’ve heard a lot about you,” he greeted unenthusiastically.

Kol held his hand out to him, shaking politely while sizing him up before turning his attention back to Y/N. “How are you, darling?”

“Good,” she swallowed. “I’m good. Yup, really good, great even. You know me. How are you? Why are you here?” She sputtered nervously.

Kol chuckled at her rambling, eyeing her glass in her hand and feigned offense. “Can I not come see my best friend?”

“It’s just…”

“It’s been a while, I know. I swung by your place and you weren’t there, so I figured I’d check the Grill and here you are.” He took her in for a moment, relieved to be speaking with her. He had missed their friendship, and as difficult as it was to say goodbye and take some space, the distance had done him some good. “The truth is, Y/N, I’ve missed you,” he paused, feeling like he was able to take a deep breath for the first time since he had left.  “And I’m sorry.”

Y/N furrowed her brow. Kol was apologizing to her? The guilt was getting heavier by the second, sitting in her chest, pressing against her bones and weighing down her heart and lungs. “Kol, I should probably tell you…something happened, while you were gone. And I didn’t...I mean, it’s just...”

“She’s seeing someone,” Damon chimed in.

Kol was taken aback for a moment. “Oh...right, well, good for you,” he forced a smile. “Who’s the lucky guy? Anyone I know?”

Y/N swallowed. Her nerves were frazzled, and she instantly regretted attempting to go the honest route. She had thought Damon and the bourbon might give her a little courage, but it had only complicated things more. “The lucky guy? The lucky guy is...well, I’ll tell you,” she was circling the drain.

“I’m the lucky guy,” Damon smiled cockily. Y/N kicked her foot into his shin, sending a subtle warning and sharp pain up his leg. Damon shifted, attempting to relieve the pain, but kept his smile plastered on his face.

Kol narrowed his eyes for a moment, glancing back and forth between the two of them. “Well then, congratulations.” His voice was strained, as if he were trying to sound happy for her. “So how did you two meet?”

“She hit me with her car,” Damon winked at Y/N, turning to put his arm around her.

Kol’s eyes widened as Y/N back pedaled, explaining the situation to Kol but leaving Elijah out of it.

They spent the afternoon catching up, Damon filling in the blanks when Y/N began to stumble nervously over her words. Y/N was simultaneously grateful for him covering for her, and frustrated, knowing they were just digging her in deeper.

They ended the evening with Kol insisting they both spend the evening at the Mikaelsons. Kol was throwing a bonfire to catch up with his friends he hadn’t seen in a while, and Rebekah and Marcel had just returned from their trip.

They said goodbye to Kol, with promises to meet him at the house later that night. The second his car was out of view Y/N turned and smacked Damon’s chest. “What the hell was that?”

“Ow!” Damon grunted. “The way I see it, I saved you back there. In fact, you owe me.”

“You saved me!?” She shouted incredulously. “Damon! Now not only am I lying about Elijah, but I’m lying about you, too! You practically dug my grave for me.”

“You said it yourself,” Damon argued. “You and Elijah are done. Trust me, I’ve been Kol. I just saved him from having his heart ripped out, and I saved you from losing your best friend. What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him. You’re both better off this way.”

She huffed and stormed past him, slamming her shoulder into his. “You’re driving,” she snapped.

When they arrived at the Mikaelsons everyone was already there, including Caroline, to Y/N’s surprise. She raised her eyebrows at her friend, who shrugged and made a “don’t ask” face. She slid into Klaus’ side, a red solo cup in hand.

The music was loud, and the majority of guests were out back, circling the bonfire and passing drinks. Y/N rolled her eyes at the amount of people Kol considered friends.

She smiled when Rebekah came rushing in the room, her arms wrapping Y/N up in a hug. “God, I’ve missed you, it’s been far too long!”

Y/N returned the hug with enthusiasm. “Bex! I can’t wait to hear all about Paris, tell me everything.”

Rebekah loosened her grip on her friend, a lovesick grin spreading across her face. “It was so romantic. Marcel is just upstairs, he’ll be down shortly.” She glanced over Damon, her disposition changing immediately. “And who is your friend?” She asked stiffly, her eyes scanning him.

“Damon Salvatore,” he held his hand out and Rebekah looked at it, a tight smile gracing her lips.

“The pleasure is all yours, I’m sure,” Rebekah sneered before turning to chat with Klaus and Caroline.

Damon leaned in to speak quietly. “Gotta say, your friends are the warmest bunch I’ve ever met.”

Y/N winced. “Rebekah can be kind of…” she trailed off looking for the right words. “...well, a bitch to be honest, but she grows on you. She just needs to warm up.”

“Yes,” Klaus chimed in as he walked over and leaned in to kiss Y/N on the cheek. “You’ll have to forgive my sister. She has quite the temper. Klaus,” he introduced himself, shaking Damon’s hand and squeezing harder than necessary.

Damon turned his lips up smugly and nodded while Y/N excused herself to speak to Caroline. Damon was about to follow when Klaus placed his hand on his chest, stopping him in place. “Though Rebekah’s temper is nothing compared to my own.”

Damon removed Klaus’ hand. He spotted the bourbon at the bar across the room, and excused himself. If he was going to make it through the evening, he’d need all the help he could get.

“So, what exactly are you doing here, Care?” Y/N asked, her voice shouting over the music..

Caroline raised her eyebrows at her accusingly. “What am I doing? What are you doing? Elijah? Really? And now Damon? What the hell has gotten into you?” She hissed.

Y/N turned on Caroline then, making sure no one could see or hear the words she spoke next. “Care, please. I don’t know what’s going on and frankly, I haven’t had time to even begin to process it. So please, just cut me some slack tonight and keep it to yourself. I’m begging you.”

She rolled her eyes. “Fine. But we are talking about this later. In detail,” she demanded.

“Deal. But for now we are going to circle back around to what are you doing here with Nik?”

She shrugged and glanced at Niklaus. “I don’t know. He just gets to me, ya know? I can’t seem to stay away.”

Y/N snickered. “Maybe you should stop running, then. You ever stop to think maybe you’re drawn to him because he’s the one?”

Caroline scoffed. “Please. Klaus is not the one.” She paused, her face softening as she watched him talk to his sister. He laughed at something she said, his eyes crinkling and smile wide. He caught sight of Caroline and he said something once more to Rebekah, kissing her on the cheek before excusing himself and joining Caroline again.

Y/N grinned and shook her head, wishing her closest friends would stop dancing around this thing they had between them and just go for it. 

“So where are the rest of the Mikaelsons?” She tried to keep her voice casual, but really only wanting to know where Elijah was. She wanted to see him, or maybe avoid him. She wasn’t even sure anymore.

Klaus smiled knowingly at her. “Kol is outside, and Elijah is, well come to think of it I don’t know. I haven’t seen him, love.”

Y/N nodded, and helped herself to a drink. The group mingled, Damon joining them once more, a bourbon in hand. Caroline made sure to include him in conversation, which gave Y/N a chance to slip away unnoticed.

She really should have known - anytime Kol had said the words “small get together” what he was really saying was he was throwing a massive party. The amount of people and the noise had her feeling overwhelmed and searching for some quiet.

And maybe Elijah.

She peeked into the kitchen but there was no sign of him. She wasn’t sure if she felt relief or disappointment. She headed further down the hall figuring she’d freshen up before rejoining her friends. She pushed past the groups of people mingling in the hall, muttering ‘excuse me’s they were too drunk to care about. She was almost to the bathroom when a hand grabbed her, pushing her into the laundry room and shutting the door behind her.

“We need to talk,” Elijah said pressing her into the door.

Y/N felt her senses clouding as they always did when he was near. She knew they needed to talk, but she wasn’t sure she’d survive the evening after he ended things in what was essentially a glorified closet. “I don’t want to talk.”

She tried to leave but he caged her in with his arms. “Y/N what is going on with you?”

She bit her lip. “Elijah, I get it, okay? Kol is home and you’re technically my boss and things are complicated so it’s done. It’s fine, it is what it is. I knew going into it it’d be a one night stand, we don’t have to spell it out, okay? So can I please just go?” It was as if she had opened a floodgate, unable to contain any of her words once they started pouring out.

His chocolate eyes held a pained expression. “Is that what you think this is?”

She shrugged and glanced around as if it were obvious. “Oh come on, Elijah, where did you see this going?” She snapped, her walls going up to keep herself from feeling any more than she already had for him.

His eyes narrowed, the warmth in them fading. He pressed his lips into a thin line and dropped his arms in defeat. “Well then, I guess there’s nothing to discuss,” his voice was cold and definitive as he buttoned his suit jacket, adjusting it to perfection once more.

She stepped out of the laundry room, deciding she’d make her rounds outside, promising herself she wouldn’t cry.

“There you are,” Damon met her in the hall. He tossed a look over Y/N’s shoulder as Elijah stepped out of the laundry room. He rolled his eyes. “Heads up, love birds, you might not want to disappear right in front of everyone if you don’t want to get caught.”

“Damon,” Elijah said dryly. “How wonderful to see you again.”

Y/N walked past both of them without a word. When she joined her friends again, Marcel hugged her. Y/N offered to grab another round of drinks, grateful for a distraction, and Rebekah followed close behind.

“Y/N, are you alright?” Rebekah asked quietly. “You seem upset.”

The only thing worse than trying not to cry was trying not cry while someone asked if you were okay.

“I’m fine.” She flipped her hair off her neck and Rebekah pulled at the edge of Y/N’s shirt.

“Bloody hell, is that a hickey?”

Damon swooped in, once again helping her keep up the facade. “There’s my girl,” he said as he wrapped an arm around her shoulder. He kissed her temple, whispering a reassurance into her hair.

She reached up, holding onto his arm to steady herself. She could feel Elijah’s cold stare on them from the doorway and she tried her best to act naturally, though she was sure she was failing spectacularly.

“I just can’t seem to keep my hands to myself where this one is concerned,” Damon stated smugly. He gave Elijah a cocky grin, egging him on just for fun knowing there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it.

Y/N elbowed him discreetly, warning him to take it down a notch, but Damon ignored her. “I’m sure you know how that goes, right?” He taunted him.

Elijah bit down, locking his jaw to keep his mouth shut.

Damon shrugged lazily. “What am I gonna do? I just can’t say no to a beautiful woman,” he wiggled his eyebrows flirtatiously at Rebekah, thoroughly enjoying himself.

Rebekah scoffed and walked away, muttering about Damon being a dog.

Y/N wormed her way out from under Damon’s arm, and suggested she needed some fresh air. She stepped out onto the porch and made her way towards the fire in search of Kol.

Elijah watched as she left the room, desperately wishing he could be the one that followed her outside. Instead he kept his legs rooted, not daring to move.

“I don’t know about you, but I could most definitely use another bourbon,” Damon suggested casually as he stood next to Elijah.

Elijah’s eyes narrowed slightly as he looked at Damon, deciding he wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of playing into it. “Of course. Forgive me, where are my manners?” He took the glass from the other man’s hand, filling it generously before pouring his own. They sipped on their bourbon in silence.

“Well, this has been pleasantly awkward,” Damon winked. He turned to make his way to the porch when Elijah called after him.

“Damon,” his voice was calm and steady. “Touch her again and I promise you it will be the last thing you ever do,” he smiled politely.

Damon furrowed his brow and squared his jaw before nodding in understanding and dismissing himself.

The evening had been uncomfortable to say the least. Y/N was grateful that Rebekah seemed pretty caught up in Marcel to pay much attention to her, Elijah or Damon. She could feel Caroline studying them, and when she thought she couldn’t take anymore Klaus pulled her attention away. Y/N mouthed a ‘thank you’ at him, to which he responded with a wink.

Elijah on the other hand had hardly looked away from them. So much for being discreet, Y/N thought. She had been sure to look anywhere but his direction, though that didn’t stop the feeling his unwavering stare left. She moved through the crowd, Damon close behind her, but Elijah always seemed to be close by and aware of her. Or maybe it had been the other way around.

Then there was Kol, who had barely said two words to her all night, surrounded by a group of girls she had never seen before, though she thought she might have recognized one as their waitress from the Grill.

“Breathe,” Damon leaned in and whispered.

She let out a stuttered breath. “This was a bad idea,” she groaned.

“There’s no such thing as a bad idea. Just poorly executed awesome ones.”

She snickered quietly.

“Care to share with the rest of the class?” Rebekah interrupted.

“Rebekah,” Marcel tried to reel her in, and Y/N was grateful, but she knew it was useless.

Damon glanced around, and upon Elijah’s stiff look decided he had had enough torture for one evening. He almost felt bad for the guy. “Just commenting on how great the party has been, thank you.” The corners of his mouth lifted to force a smile.

Rebekah studied them for a moment. “I don’t get you two as a couple.”

Marcel knew how difficult meeting the Mikaelsons could be. He loved them all, but being an outsider once before, he felt for Damon. “So, Y/N, how did you and Damon meet?”

Y/N waved her hand at the question. “Oh it’s kind of a boring story.”

Damon chimed in immediately. “Y/N crashed her car into mine,” he said casually.

Y/N cut him off, his words catching the attention and concern of Niklaus. “Obviously everyone is okay,” she muttered. “It’s no big deal. Could someone pass me a drink?” She nodded towards the cooler behind Caroline.

Caroline handed her a beer along with an off handed comment. “I don’t know, with your judgment lately,” she shot Damon a look “it sort of seems like you may have hit your head pretty hard.”

Y/N snatched the bottle out of Caroline’s hands. “My head is fine, Care,” she gritted through her teeth.

“Did you have it looked at?” Kol interrupted, falling into their little circle as he stared Damon down. “Because I agree with Caroline. You seem...off.”

“Brother,” Elijah warned, joining the conversation.

“She does seem off!” Kol defended. “I mean, you’ve been a nervous wreck all night, darling. Your cheeks have been flushed since you got here, and you’ve looked like you’re hanging on by a thread.”

“Like you would know, Kol. You haven’t talked to me all night,” she muttered.

“Perhaps we should give the lovely Y/N a break and discuss something else,” Elijah chimed in, attempting to keep the peace.

He was about to suggest a topic when Rebekah interrupted. “No, as much as I hate to admit when Kol is right, he is. Y/N what is going on with you? Is it a head injury from the car crash?”

Elijah sighed. “It was a mild concussion and some bruised ribs, she’s perfectly fine, now can we please discuss something else.”

“How do you know?” Kol looked between the two of them.

Y/N suddenly wished she hadn’t left Elijah out of her earlier retelling.

“Because I was there,” Elijah said nonchalantly, as if it were common knowledge.

And maybe it should have been, but telling Kol about that first night with Elijah felt like a betrayal to Y/N, even if nothing had happened. “He was passing by and helped me,” she elaborated.

Klaus cleared his throat. “Well, I think that’s my cue to leave. Caroline would you care to join me?” She shook her head and planted her feet, waiting for the drama to unfold. Klaus rolled his eyes, hating that he would be forced to be present as well.

“It’s just that you didn’t mention that earlier today,” Kol continued.

Y/N shifted uncomfortably. “I guess I forgot,” she watched Kol’s eyes for anything, but they gave nothing away. Before he could investigate further, Y/N changed the subject, her eyes narrowing in on a group making their way towards the bonfire. “Did you invite Tyler Lockwood?”

Kol smirked like he was up to something. “Tyler Lockwood can’t resist a good party. And Richard Lockwood can’t resist cleaning up his son’s messes. If they want to play dirty and try to steal the Gilbert account, well then, I’d like to have a little bit of blackmail if we need it,” he winked and went to greet Tyler and his friends.

Damon turned, grabbing Y/N’s arm. “Remember you owe me one,” he hissed.

Y/N watched Kol with Tyler, her eyes narrowing at the two. She chugged what was left of her beer, watching them make their way over to their group. Tyler was followed by Matt and a girl she hadn’t recognized. She briefly reminded her of Katherine, but her features were softer, more approachable.

“Damon, hi,” the girl said, her brown eyes questioning his presence.

He took a swig of his drink, placing his arm around Y/N’s shoulders. “Elena,” he smiled. “Where’s Stefan tonight?”

She shrugged, her hands tucked into her jeans, clearly uncomfortable discussing Stefan in a group setting.

Y/N watched his features soften, the cocky facade falling away. His hand tightened its grip ever so slightly, and she suddenly knew his arm around her wasn’t to make Elena or Elijah jealous, or to make Kol believe they were an item. He was grasping onto anything he could for support, because this girl had broken his heart.

“We broke up, actually,” she finally said, meeting his eyes.

His grip loosened and his blue eyes filled with concern - an ocean of sorrow for the girl he loved.

Y/N grabbed his glass from his hand. “You know what? I’m going to go grab us some refills,” she said. For good measure she decided to throw Damon a bone and leaned up and kissed him on the cheek. “I’ll be back, babe,” she winked and made her way up to the house.

She was in the kitchen, trying to clean up some of the mess left behind when she felt his presence. Her body was acutely aware of him. It was as if all her nerve endings came to the surface and reached out to him when he was near. She did her best to ignore it, instead focusing on the task at hand.

“So that’s it? Now you’re with Damon Salvatore?” Elijah asked.

Y/N rolled her eyes, not bothering to turn and face him. “Please, I’m not with Damon. He’s got womanizer written all over him, I’m smarter than that.”

Elijah stepped further into the room. “Yet I don’t even get the decency of an actual discussion before you decide you and I are done?”

He was angry, and she understood that, but she couldn’t deal with it right now. Not if she was going to keep up the pretense that nothing had ever happened between them in front of Kol.

“Because if you had bothered discussing things with me, you’d realize I never had any intention of this being a one night stand, or a weekend fling. Don’t cheapen it like that,” he kept his voice harsh but low, stepping even closer to her.

She paused her movements but kept her eyes trained on the bottles and cans in front of her. Afraid that if she looked up and saw anything less than what she felt for him that she’d break.

“Y/N I have worked to keep my distance from you for years, but the moment I kissed you I knew I’d never let you go. At least not without a fight,” he continued.

Y/N met his gaze then, biting her lip.

He crowded her, taking the small bag she had been using to gather up discarded cups from her hands and placing it carefully on the counter. He used his thumb to tug her lip from her teeth, soothing it gently. “Talk to me,” he said softly. “Please, tell me what it is you want me to do. Because I can’t go back, Y/N.”

She swallowed nervously, her chest swelling. “It’s not a one night stand for you?”

He bit back his shy smirk, the ache in his chest subsiding for the first time since she left that morning. “No,” he whispered, placing his hand on the back of her neck. “It’s everything.” He pressed his lips to her cheek, breathing her in and as he pulled back his hushed words danced over her skin. “You are everything.”

She wrapped her arms around him, clutching him tightly, feeling as though she could finally breathe. “So what do we do?”

He sighed into her hair. “I’ll speak to Kol.”

She shook her head. “No, he should hear it from me.”

“He’s my brother, I take full responsibility.”

She released him then so she could look up at him. “Elijah, I love you but Kol isn’t exactly your biggest fan to begin with and that’s precisely why he should hear it from me. He’s less likely to kill me.”

Elijah couldn’t fight the grin that spread across his face. “I’m sorry, could you say that again?”

“I’m less likely to be murdered?”

He shook his head, suppressing his smile. “No, lovely Y/N, the first part.”

Her brows drew together in confusion. “Kol isn’t your biggest fan?”

“No there was something even before that, and I’d very much like to hear it again…”

Y/N thought for a moment, unsure of what he was looking for and played the conversation back in her head. The color drained from her face as she realized what she had said.

Elijah moved his face closer, his lips not even an inch from hers, his hand on her neck.

“Do we have anymore vodka?” Rebekah barged into the kitchen, causing the two of them to jump apart.

Y/N bent down to Kol’s not-so-secret stash and snatched a bottle from the cabinet, handing it to Rebekah.

“Why do you look so happy?” Rebekah asked suspiciously as she studied Elijah’s proud and rare grin.

He shrugged. “Must be the alcohol.” 

Rebekah sighed. “Bloody hell, I’m not drunk enough for this,” she snatched the vodka and made her way back outside.

Before she could be left alone with Elijah and her blurted confession, Y/N agreed, and followed quickly behind.

Kol hadn’t let Tyler out of his sight. He also hadn’t let his cup go unfilled. He cheered on every shot and encouraged every chug. When he was good and drunk, Kol brought up work, trying to dig up any dirt on his father’s company.

“So Lockwood, tell me, do you always try to sniff around like dogs to steal accounts?” He chided. “Or just when business is bad?”

“Please man, you guys aren’t gonna get the Gilbert account. I’ve been friends with Elena and her family for years,” Tyler boasted. “Move on!”

Kol smiled smugly. “Yes, well, that may be true, but it’s best not to mix business with pleasure, don’t you agree?”

Matt shifted uncomfortably as Tyler drunkenly guffawed. “That’s rich coming from a Mikaelson.”

Kol narrowed his eyes. “What is that supposed to mean, Lockwood?” Tyler butt heads with all of the Mikaelsons, his distaste of Niklaus and open hostility towards him (which may or may not have been justified - Klaus had after all, stolen his first love) kept the rest of the siblings on edge around the Lockwoods. Kol was defensive, and the alcohol had him just itching for a fight.

Tyler looked around as if it were obvious. “Come on man, Klaus practically keeps Caroline’s event planning company in business just to stay in her pants…”

“Tyler!” Caroline’s voice carried across the porch, she and Klaus overhearing them as they were headed for more drinks.

Klaus was in front of him before she could stop it, his jaw tight and his shoulders square, daring Tyler to take a punch.

Tyler straightened up, his nose practically touching Klaus’ as he refused to back down. Kol jumped up, ready to hold Klaus back, but his fists clenching, begging for a swing. “Nik, let it go,” he ground his teeth.

“I will make you suffer in ways your pathetic, spoiled little mind couldn’t even imagine,” Klaus growled. Tyler swallowed but he stood his ground.

Y/N saw them and made her way over quickly, knowing nothing good would come out of it. Elijah was right behind her, and as they approached he tucked Y/N behind him, placing his body between hers and the heated exchange. “Niklaus,” he warned.

Klaus stepped back, Caroline pulling on his arm, begging him to leave it. “He’s not worth it,” she said. “He might have been, once,” she shot Tyler a look over her shoulder. “But not anymore.”

Her words were weighted, telling Tyler it was really over, and anger flared up in his chest. “That’s right Klaus, walk away!” He called after him.

Elijah placed his hand firmly on Tyler’s chest. “I believe you may have reached your limit for this evening, Mr. Lockwood. Why don’t we call you an uber?”

Tyler shrugged him off aggressively. “And this one,” he shouted, pointing at Elijah. “...hires his little fuck buddy so he has something to do in the office,” he spat.

“Alright, come on,” Elijah tried to direct him away before he could say anything else, but Tyler looked over his shoulder at Y/N.

“My dad said you were by far his worst employee, but I guess you weren’t fucking him, huh, Y/N? Maybe if you had sucked his dick, too, you’d still have your job.”

Elijah slammed him into the wall. “Enough!” He jabbed his finger into his chest. “Go home, Tyler. You’re done.”

Y/N felt her cheeks burn, and she glanced at Matt who had the decency to at least look ashamed. She wondered briefly if there was anyone he hadn’t told.

“What’s he talking about?” Kol asked her, not bothering to look at his brother.

Matt grabbed Tyler, dragging him away. “Come on, Ty, you’re drunk.”

Elijah straightened his jacket, his eyes on Y/N’s.

“Right, who needs another drink?” Caroline asked enthusiastically, attempting to defuse the situation once Matt had Tyler out of there.

No one moved, all eyes on Y/N when Kol spoke again. “Is it true?”

“Kol,” she started, her voice soft and apologetic.

“Are you fucking my brother?” He asked louder, his voice hard.

Elijah turned to him then, ready to take responsibility for the entire situation, but Kol still didn’t look at him.

Y/N kept her eyes on Kol’s, not saying a word. She didn’t need to. Besides, what would she say? There were no words that would heal what she had just done to him.

She could see it in his face - she shattered his heart.

Kol nodded, his jaw ticking. He looked out towards the bonfire, taking a deep breath, trying to steady himself. The ache in his chest came in sharp, but then it throbbed heavily, letting him know it was settling in. He felt the tears prick his eyes. He shook his head and shuffled his feet trying to keep them at bay. He let go of the pain, making room for anger instead - filling the cracks of the broken pieces inside of him with rage.

“Brother,” Elijah’s voice broke through, and before he could continue Kol rounded on him, his fist connecting with his jaw. Elijah’s stance didn’t falter - he had known the blow was coming. He had deserved it.

His acceptance and calmness only served to make Kol angrier. Kol swung again and Elijah took it, rubbing his jaw.

“Kol!” Y/N shouted.

Kol ignored her, instead drawing his fist back once more, but Elijah had had enough, blocking the punch and grabbing Kol by his shirt. “Enough, brother,” he said through gritted teeth.

Kol lashed out, pushing Elijah back with all his might, but Elijah turned them so Kol hit the wall instead, pinning him there. His eyes were threatening, but Kol didn’t care. He wanted Elijah to fight back.

Y/N wedged her body in between them, using her arms to push them apart, holding Kol against the wall. She stared at Kol for a long moment, who was still shooting daggers at his brother. When she turned and looked at Elijah, her eyes pleading, he nodded at her and stepped back.

She turned her attention back to Kol, who pinned all that rage onto her.

He stepped into her hand, so it was pressing against his chest. “Honestly, Y/N, where do you think this is going to go? You’re better than just another one of Elijah’s office floozies.”

She moved back at that, her eyes giving away the sudden sting she felt.

“Oh come on,” Kol spat. “Don’t tell me you didn’t know? This is what he does. First it was Celeste, then Hayley, then Gia. You’re just another office whore to him.”

Before the first tear rolled down her cheek Elijah had pushed past her, his fist connecting with Kol’s nose. Y/N jumped back, Caroline steadying her.

“Elijah!” She cried, but they both scuffled until Kol was on the ground. Kol struggled to fight back, and got a punch or two in, but Elijah was on top of him, his knees pinning him down. He drew his arm back once more, but Klaus caught it.

“That’s enough, brother. He’s had enough,” Klaus pulled him off of Kol. Elijah’s chest was heaving, but he didn’t fight Klaus. He kept his eyes trained on Kol, and ran the back of his hand against his mouth, wiping away the blood from his lip.

Kol struggled but got to his feet, pinching the bridge of his nose, the blood dripping down his chin to his shirt. He groaned but stood tall, squaring off to face his brother, his rage still simmering.

Y/N looked between the two, her eyes burning. She knew she must be crying, but she ignored it, anger winning out over the hurt.

Nobody said anything for a moment, and Caroline placed her hand on Y/N’s shoulder tentatively, but she shook it off.

Her eyes were full of hurt, disappointment, and shame. Neither of the Mikaelsons were sure which to address first.

“Is that what you think of me?” She finally asked Kol, her voice cracking. “I’m a whore?”

The anger inside of Kol’s chest subsided for a moment as the guilt began to seeth in, but then he saw Elijah move towards her and he hardened his gaze.

She nodded in defeat. She vaguely heard Elijah call out for her, but she kept her head down, her arms crossed over her chest. “Take me home?” She asked Caroline, who nodded and shot an apologetic look to Klaus. Y/N pushed past both men, rubbing at the traitorous tears she so wished would wait until she at least got to the car - Caroline directly on her heels.

to be continued

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*If you’re in bold it won’t let me tag you. Let me know if you’d like to be added, removed, or I forgot you because my life is a mess ;P

[rissi-chan]

I need Veilguard to hurry up and come into my life because the void that has been left since patch 7 for BG3 dropped and rendered my mods totally useless (and therefore not the way I want to play) is HUGE.

[Sidenote: If anyone else uses Vortex for mods and has found a way to get their mods to work again, please hold my hand and give me a step-by-step, detailed explanation please, thank you, and bless your entire existence 🙏🏻]