#rimmer x reader

[whatthesmeg]

-> when things go wrong

arnold rimmer x gn!reader

reader finds themself injured after falling through the floor of an abandoned starship, with only their hologram crewmate for company.

i'm so down bad for this stupid hologram i swear to god. also, this is post legion, so rimmer is a hard light hgram :)

"is this really a good idea?" you raised an eyebrow, hesitantly following dave and the cat through the narrow, decrepit hallways of the long-abandoned starship.

"relaaaax," dave drawled, kicking down a door. "we've done this plenty of times,"

"exactly, and besides, we're almost out of food, and if i have to eat krytens cooking one more time, i may have to eat one of you instead!" the cat mused, causing you to chuckle and shake your head at your ridiculous crewmates.

with kryten beside you, looking around curiously, you realised a member of your team was suspiciously absent.

arnold rimmer was trailing behind, unusually quiet. you slowed down, allowing kryten, dave and the cat to march onwards.

"you alright, arnie?" you asked softly, trying to meet his hazel eyes, which he was skilfully avoiding.

"fine. absolutely fine." his lips pursed, indicating he was, in fact, not fine, but rather very stressed indeed.

this didn't go unnoticed by you. recently, arnold had been acting very odd- less snarky comments, avoiding the crew, acting bashful. you considered him a friend, and his frank avoidance of you was starting to sting a little. unsure whether to bring this up now, you decided to carefully test the waters.

"you can talk to me, arnie, you've been a bit...weird lately, and-"

"me? acting weird? don't know what you mean!" he replied, a little too enthusiastically.

getting slightly frustrated by his avoidance, you decided to dig no further.

"suit yourself. but you better figure your stuff out, arnie. i'm almost starting to miss you." you smiled gently.

"hey, y/n! come check this out!" dave shouted from in front of you, and you turned quickly from arnold and jogged towards the others.

as you were jogging, the ship shifted groaned loudly. the floor suddenly felt very flimsy indeed, and before you could react, it dropped below your feet, one side dropping to create a ramp, which you found yourself tumbling down at great speed. you felt your head hit something hard and sharp, and everything promptly went dark.

-

"...y/n, y/n, wake up!"

drowsily, your eyes fluttered open, the face of arnold rimmer looking down at you, concern evident on his face. he was kneeling over you, and sat back as you sat up groggily, eyes adjusting to the darkness.

your head was pounding, you lifted a hand to touch it and was greeted with the warm feeling of blood trickling down your face. your left arm was also in considerable pain, and looking down, you saw it was very bruised with a deep gash from your elbow to your wrist.

"arn? what happened..?" you mumbled.

"th-the floor gave out, and you fell. we thought you'd...." he trailed off, voice shaking.

"hey," you breathed, reaching out to touch his arm softly. "i'm alive, i'm not going anywhere."

"i should be the one comforting you," he muttered, looking your injuries up and down with a face of worry. he looked around and found a piece of cloth from the abandoned starship, and shook it to get the dust off before gently leaning forward and dabbing the cut on your head.

it was a surprisingly intimate gesture, you felt your face grow warm. his hazel eyes met yours for a split second, before darting away.

"where are the others, anyway? and how did you get down here?" you asked, taking the cloth from him and continuing to dab it onto your wounds.

"they're trying to find a way to get you out. as for me, well...i'm a hologram, i can't die, so..."

"so you followed me down here?" you finished his sentence, feeling your heart flutter at the kind gesture.

"that'll leave a rather heroic scar." he gestured to the gash on your arm, changing the conversation topic quickly.

you were suddenly all too aware of the pain that was racing up through your arm and to your shoulder, and grimaced.

"y-yeah," you replied, suddenly feeling tears prick in your eyes from the pain.

arnold looked around once more and located another piece of abandoned fabric, and fashioned a bandage from it.

"this might sting a bit." he warned as he gently took your arm in shaking hands, and he began wrapping the wound. "there you go, love, you're doing great."

he appeared to say this without thinking, and immediately mumbled a quick "...s-sorry,"

"why now?" you began, "after weeks of avoiding me, why are you now being so nice?"

arnold was silent for a moment. "the thought of losing you scared me more than the thought of you rejecting me. cowardly, i know. only being brave enough to tell you when things nearly go wrong."

you smiled bashfully, before taking his hand in yours. "let's get dinner, arnie. when we're back on the dwarf."

arnold squeezed your hand, his face bright despite the darkness of your environment.

"i'd like that." he beamed. you smiled again, before leaning into him, determined to both be close to him and rest your aching body. darkness consumed you once more, from sleep or loss of consciousness you couldn't be sure. all you knew was arnold was holding you steadily, one of his hands stroking your arm, providing you with more comfort you ever knew was possible.

-

you spent 4 unconscious days in the med bay, under kryten's watchful eye, with dave and the cat visiting once or twice. arnold, however, stayed next to your bed the entire time. according to kryten, he didn't leave once. he read you stories from his old books, showed you mind numbing documentaries, kept you company. and apparently he didn't complain, not once.

today was the day you left the med bay, and arnold wasted no time at all taking you to dinner. when he picked you up from your quarters, after giving you some time to get ready, he looked stunned.

"you...you look beautiful, y/n."

dinner was a wonderful affair, you talked and laughed like you'd been on thousands of dates before.

after, he took you stargazing on a nearby planet.

"thanks for staying with me, arnie. kryten told me you didn't leave once."

arnold smiled softly. "i couldn't leave you."

"i'm glad things are okay between us again. or rather, i'm glad things are....what they are, between us." you said, avoiding using any labels just yet.

"as am i."

you lie in silence for a few moments, looking up at the stars.

"can i kiss you?"

you turned to him, noticing his nervous expression. you leant forward and pressed your lips to his, and you felt his hand reach up and hold your face gently. you pulled away, giggling upon seeig arnold's cherry-red face.

"you can kiss me any time, arnie."

[itsfuntobeavampiree]

Hippie love

Now we all know rimmers views on hippies BUT what happens if his partner so happened to be one...

(I haven't written anything publicly in ages, so please excuse me. I'm a bit rusty, miladdo)

Contains: female reader,Ooc rimmer bc I suck at writing him, there's a word for it, but I canny remember so it's off topic from the actual plot of red dwarf <3

Y/n joined the boys in the cockpit of starbug. Today, the alert system was rattling away like no other. The boys were very occupied with this and she had no choice but to watch. Unfortunately.

"Hey, the radars are picking up a distance space craft," Lister announced, flicking switches, pressing buttons, and other necessities. Y/n walked up to the front to get a load of this herself. She inspected the screen, and it displayed a 100 or so yards space craft lingering in front of starbug.

"Now hey hey, maybe they're in need of help!" She suggested, making light of all things negative. That's what y/n did, with her spiritual view on everything she always had hope that in everyone kindness hid. Except her boyfriend, rimmer, rimmers kindness got lost in the womb.

"Well, wouldn't they have sent a distress call already? I mean, c'mon y/n, the last time you suggested someone was nice, they tried to maul you to death!" Rimmer scoffed, giving her a look that was different from the ones he gave to the boys but still meant the same. His look to her was softer. Y/n rolled her eyes.

"We can always hope, can't we? Everyone knows the saying, 'Make love not war,' " she stated, very clearly expressing her views. The four boys looked at her strangley like the past few times y/n tried to help people out it always backfired.

"I may not be smart, but what you just said sure made me feel like it!" Cat laughed, moving on from her horrible opinion. She tsked and turned to her boyfriend for some support, which he only shrugged at.

"Wow. You lot are gonna regret this later on when I'm right and you're all wrong! Especially you, Arnold Judas Rimmer!" Y/n glared directly at him, which he tried to hide away from by ducking down, but it clearly didn't work as she pointed a finger at him to make it more obvious she didn't appreciate his no support. Lister 'Oooed' at rimmers telling off, soon snickering alongside cat and kryten who surprisingly joined in. Getting his fair share from it.

After what...unfortunately happened with coming to contact with the space craft whose members didn't seem to be what y/n wished, she quickly got her taunting from Lister who did NOT stop bothering her about it for the rest of the day. Rimmer enjoyed watching her get frustrated by all this but soon packed it in when he was pulled from his collar to somewhere quiet. Too quiet.

He looked down at his girlfriend, who didn't seem so pleased with him. He gulped uncontrollably.

"Don't think you're getting away from this, mister. What happened to you 'finally' supporting my opinions?" She huffed in anger. Rimmer licked his lips, letting out a soft chuckle which left y/n more furious then before.

"What's so funny, rimmer?" She growled. She never really used her boyfriends last name unless she was really ticked off, and she was.

"Well, have a think now, will you? Smoking 12 joints a day and saying 'peace and love' won't get the attention from anyone, will it? Well, unless if the beatles were in town," he cheekily replied. Y/n clicked her tongue in disbelief. She stood herself up on her tippy toes, so she was somewhere near his height to begin giving him a piece of her mind. Verbally.

"You've got the cheek, haven't you arnold? Don't start getting used to this power cause im pulling it straight out of you very soon." she whispered. Whenever y/n started to lower her voice in an argument, it somewhat seemed more sincere and rimmer didn't like this.

"Look, I apologise, but -" rimmer started off strong, but his speech was muffled by a soft peck on the lips. He raised a brow, confused by why y/n changed up so quickly, but it soon hit. It hit him very hard. She was gonna use this all against him until...well, whenever she felt was the right time. Y/n was never the one to continue being angry or any of those negative emotions, but her boyfriend, Arnold j. Rimmer filled that all in for her, so she enjoyed using herself against him in a more gentle way. Which he infact did not like.

"Isn't this all silly! Let's move on before we both get riled up. Now let me go make your bed darling" she smiled, stroking his cheek softly. His brows furrowed, confused.

"But I always sleep in your bed?" He said, watching her leave his side and off to his and listers quarters.

"Not tonight! Think I'll be too 'peace and love' for you" she smiled innocently, knowing her cheek over him was working. She skipped away leaving him with many unanswered questions.

"But- wait! Wait y/n I love your hippieness! I love hippies, please don't let me share a room with lister again!" Rimmer yelled after her.

"Hang on, are you going hippie on us rimmer?" Lister smirked, coming into the room just in time. Rimmer turned to look at him, face full of disgust.

"Oh shut up lister"

-------------------‐--------------------------

OMG OMG, I was going through my drafts and I found this. Why did I not post it it's the best one I've done in like a year bc this is the only one😭 I'll try to post more often I've js not been feeling it at all recently.

[gothghostiie]

okok lmk if this is too much but

i think price would like being rimmed 🔥

sweetheart how long have you been on this account /lh

anyway, I agree with my whole heart and here's the rimming price drabble I wrote a while ago

also taglist since it does lead to a drabble:

@maplewhisk

[d1sc0s8n]

Kawaii!Rimmer that no one asked for? Sure why not. Made this for fun, feel free to use as an icon, just credit me for the edit, pls!

[would-they-listen-to-that]

Hello!!! Could I please request a self ship playlist with Arnold Rimmer from Red Dwarf? :)

‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚🎧⊹♡ hi! here you go! - mod cupid

Copacabana - Barry Manilow

Waterloo - ABBA

Someone to Watch Over Me - Ella Fitzgerald

Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now - The Smiths

Boys Don't Cry - The Cure

Be Nice to Me - The Front Bottoms

Ever Fall in Love (with Someone You Shouldn't've)? - Buzzcocks

Love, Me Normally - Will Wood

Fell in Love with a Girl - The White Stripes

Harness Your Hopes - Pavement

thank you for dialing in!

[angels-read-fanfiction-too]

Fanfiction Rules Time!!!

Please specify headcannons, drabble or story!

who i will write for (platonic or romantic)!!

Percy jackson and Heroes of Olympus (including octavian for those who likes freakazoids)

Harry potter (NO DRACO he makes me angry)

Homestuck! (only beta kids and beta trolls sorry i'm only on page almost 4000)

Garfield (Literally only john cuz i want him)

Ouran Highschool host club (no honey senpai unless platonic cuz that kinda freaky in the bad way)

Obey me (including side characters)

Mystic messenger

red dwarf

black books

Eltingville club

IT (2017) but only platonic cuz i'm too old for them :P sibling stuff would be cool!

Rtc post and pre accident!

(will update if i get into more fandoms!)

What i won't write!!

nsfw (my sister reads this blog and im catholic) but will do making out and stuff like that :P

anything with draco (i hate him SOOO much)

character x character sorry but i'm a chronic self shipper

any kind of intense violence or intense angst! only small amounts followed by fluff because i like my fanfiction happy.

Will probably write a lot!!

sick fics cuz they're some of my favourites

Homestuck!!! cuz i'm super focused on it right now lol

established relationship

dorky or like loser readers (sorry for the people who like the popular reader x unpopular character but i can't relate)

lots and lots and lots of cute fluffy stuff

i'm CRINGE! so just be aware of that

Requests are very happily open!!!

[sochawrites]

Can you please do an rimmer x fem reader fluff or the episode the gun men of the apocalypse where reader and rimmer are dating.

Sure I can! And why not kind of both?

I am so, so, so sorry it took me so long to write this, it has been a very weird year and I just could not manage to put aside some time to write. I can't promise 2024 will be better, but we all can hope, no?

I hope this is at least a bit satisfactory to you, dear anon, or any of you souls, still lurking around looking for some RD content.

What do you guys say on the news about Red Dwarf: Titan? I was there when they screened the teaser trailer, if one would call it that, and honestly? I'm pretty excited!

Also happy Holidays!

Adrenaline

Arnold Rimmer x Fem!reader

None of you could help but cheer as Starbug flew away from the burning moon, escaping certain doom once again. You were slowly getting used to these situations, but near-death experiences are still near-death experiences and while you tried to focus your mind on the fact that you were alive, your body and nerves were of a different idea.

You were shaking in your seat, gripping the handles and hardly holding back the maniacal laughter of survival. You had enough adrenaline for today, it would probably be better for you to go and calm down, maybe even lay down before you start to crash.

Pulling yourself up on your shaky knees, you excused yourself and stumbled to your room, almost falling on the way out of the control room. Fortunately out of the sight of others, or so you thought. You slowly made your way up the stairs to the sleeping quarters, painfully unaware of the pair of concerned eyes watching you.

Deciding the bed would be the best place to crash onto, you crashed into a much more closer chair, back turned to the door and closed your eyes shut. You were breathing heavily and the sound of the ship was being drowned out by the buzz and thuds in your ears.

A knock caught your attention, albeit barely. "Permission to enter?", you hummed in response, knowing fully well your hologram boyfriend would not take no for an answer and not having enough strength to speak. There was a pause before Rimmer went into the room, but as soon as he did, he cautiously made his way towards you. You could only imagine him looming over you as he tapped on your shoulder.

"I brought you some water," Rimmer announced to you nonchalantly, leaving the glass beside you. You thanked him as you reached for the liquid with both of your shaking hands, but you were positive he barely heard you.

"That was quite a ride, wasn't it? The adrenaline, the thrill!" Rimmer walked around as if giving you an inspirational speech, "Although I have a feeling that for some, it may have been a bit too much, wouldn't you say so, my dear Y/N?". He turned to you with the last sentence, a playful smirk on his lip, but sympathy in his eyes.

You just threw him a look, not amused by his remark, "Yeah, well, not everyone can be as brave as the great Dan McGrew, right, Arn?".

He pouted, "Auch", and knelt down in front of you, reaching his palm to your cheeks, gently caressing. It was always a weird sensation to touch light, soft or hard, not really cold, not really warm. Leaning into his touch, you planted a kiss on his hand, a small smile tugging at the lips of both of you. "You're going to get used to all of this, eventually." Rimmer tried to reassure you, but you just shook your head.

"'Eventualy' isn't soon enough, starlight." the hologram traped your hand in his, squeezing. "It never is, but you'll be fine, I know it.".

You reached your still trembling hand to the one cradling your face, feeling the threat of tears from the stress and weariness. "How?" you whispered, "How are you so sure about this?".

"Love, have you ever seen yourself when we face the unknown? You always keep such a stone-cold face, looking so brave, so fearless! Adrenaline is a powerful muse, the tremble and tears, it's not you, it's just your body, nothing more." Rimmer was now cradling your face in both of his hands, semi-standing, looking directly into your eyes.

"It's only a matter of time until you get used to the rush and once you do…" he paused, maybe because he was searching for words, or maybe just to make his encouragement more meaningful, "You'll be braver than anyone we know."

You leaned forward, wrapping your arms around the holographic body, "Even more than Ace?". You felt him hugging you tightly "Even more than him.".

[1llusionmachine]

i love reading x reader fanfiction but i just cannot bring myself to write it

[raisinghellonstarbug]

OK SO UPDATE!

Wow thank you so much for all of your prompts so far I really appreciate and you did not disappoint! 💗

I guess considering the amount of prompts which I did not expect to get already so far I have quite a bit of writing to do! 😁

(may have put a rod for my back but we shall see hahahah assfjdfdkjfb!!)

Anywaay...

So just wish to shoutout and say thanks to @britcombruh @beckthehopelessromantic @jhangelface0523 @vickyfarley and @thelittlebirdwriter for all of your prompt requests, please bear with me and I will try and get on your ideas asap!!

ALSO

I have decided that besides being happy to receive requests for Sastiel, Midam, Dean or Sam W x reader, James Acaster x reader (or other British comedians x reader) and Sam Fender x reader, I have also two more ships that I will also consider writing a fic about if you would like:

Red Dwarf fans, my 2nd favourite ship of all time (can't believe I forgot momentarily)!! Please send me your Rimmer x Lister prompts :)

And Heartstopper fans! Send me your Nick x Charlie ones (currently my third/fourth favourite ship)

If anyone else has prompts for any of these fandoms or perhaps anymore then please let me know. If I know the fandom and know the ship, I will consider other ideas.

Thanks again everyone!

Peace,

Luna x

[yanderenightmare]

2023 collection part one

January

BNHA—Inconsolable yandere Bakugou and Kirishima just wants you to love them:

♡ INCONSOLABLE

BNHA—What Bakugou's like in bed:

♡ A SWITCH IN DENIAL

BNHA—What Dabi's like in bed:

♡ SHITTY DOM

BNHA—What Shiggy's like in bed:

♡ AGGRESSIVE SWITCH

BNHA—What Shinso's like in bed:

♡ SADISTIC DOM

BNHA—What Hawks' like in bed:

♡ NEEDY DOM

BNHA—What Kirishima's like in bed:

♡ PUSHY DOM

BNHA—What villain Deku's like in bed:

♡ SICKLY SWEET DOM

February

BNHA—Childhood friend Bakugou and reader in a toxic relationship:

♡ NO ONE ELSE

BNHA—Good yandere Bakugou traits:

♡ GOOD TRAITS

BNHA—Good yandere Shigaraki traits:

♡ GOOD TRAITS

BNHA—Good yandere Kirishima traits:

♡ GOOD TRAITS

BNHA—Good yandere Dabi traits:

♡ GOOD TRAITS

JJK—What Itadori Yuuji and Sukuna's like in bed:

♡ SELFISH SWITCH

JJK—Gojo keeps you as his pet:

♡ PET

JJK—What Megumi's like in bed:

♡ POSSESSIVE DOM

BLLK—Poly NagiReo x captive darling:

♡ SPOILED ROTTEN

HAIKYU!! boys ranked on levels of possessiveness:

♡ POSSESSIVE

JJK—Yandere Nanami and his strict routines:

♡ STRICT ROUTINES

JJK—Gojo smut alphabet:

♡ NSFW ABCs

BNHA—Yandere Shoto develops a fascination for ballerina reader:

♡ DANCE

March

BNHA—Wolf hybrids Deku and Bakugou ravage poor bunny reader:

♡ PREY ♡ part two

BNHA—Poly Kirishima and Bakugou are a toxic duo for poor captive darling:

♡ BAD COP/GOOD COP

BNHA—Bakugou as Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde:

♡ SPLIT

BNHA—Nasty captor Deku makes you rim him:

♡ CONDITIONING

BNHA—Kirishima lusts for the supervisor reader who chews him out:

♡ NOT EASY

BNHA—Nasty Shigaraki makes pretty reader rim him:

♡ PRETTY RIMMER

BNHA—Deku stalks his old bully:

♡ LOSER

BNHA—Soft and gentle noncon with yandere captor Deku:

♡ FULL

BNHA—Sad and lonely stalker Bakugou:

♡ DRIVEN MAD

April

BNHA—Bakugou smut alphabet:

♡ NSFW ABCs

BNHA—Scummy Dabi and Shiggy fight over which hole is better:

♡ WHICH HOLE IS BETTER

BNHA—Incel Shigaraki hating that he's going soft for reader:

♡ MISERY

BNHA—Yandere captor Deku tries to be gentler with captive reader:

♡ SOFT PROMISES

BNHA—Yandere captor Bakugou hates and regrets what he's done to you:

♡ TIME & EFFORT

May

JJK—Bully Gojo & Geto picking on their classmate:

♡ PLAY NICE

June

BNHA—Ghostface Bakugou:

♡ STRANGER

♡ 2024 COLLECTION PART TWO

[whatthesmeg]

-> welcome to red dwarf. would you like some toast?

this is a red dwarf sideblog so i can reply from this blog but i follow from awfully-athena!!!

i mostly repost red dwarf stuff and occasionally write self-indulgent arnold rimmer x reader fics (see below!). enjoy ur stay !!!!

-> fic masterlist

when things go wrong || arnold rimmer x reader

[tongue---tied]

HI!!! Red Dwarf or the ask meme please! I'd much like to know your interpretations and thoughts! <3

Im throwing this under a cut because, boy, this is gonna be a long one

❤️Favorite character

This won't come as a surprise to many of any of you but, yeah, it's rimmer. I want to put him in situations, I want to take him out of situations, there's the full duality there. I relate to him a lot (which probably isn't a good sign lol) and I strongly believe you cannot have red dwarf without him (i mean, look at the ratings for season 7 even with the girlboss that is kochanski). His character itself has such good potential, the angst that comes with being a hologram, the touch-starved-ness (?), his entire childhood, his need for academic validation even 3 million years into the future when all who would care anyway are dead, I could go on forever.

👿Least favorite character

Don't do this to me man 😭 I don't even know if I have one?? At least not out of the main crew. There's no character that actually makes me vibrate with rage in a bad way... If I did really have a think it would probably be a one-off character that was only in one episode and never mentioned again. Oh! I've just remembered, some fanon interpretations of Toddhunter honestly made my skin crawl with how horrible he is, but obviously that's just fanon, and some fanon interpretations have him as honestly a really good meaning guy- looking at you, Work Thing ;)

💐Comfort character

If you can't guess at this point I honestly don't know what to say. It's rimmer, look I know I know, the comfort character who has had no comfort in his entire life/death but *slaps roof of car* this baby can fit so much projection! He's so varied, he's gay to me, he's bi to me, he's autistic to me, he has ptsd to me, he's yearning, he's in denial, he's just- HE *I am dragged away by a lone hand through the doorframe before I can continue*

😍Character you have the biggest crush on

Are you sensing a theme yet 😐 I'd say I don't wish to be perceived for this but let's be honest, my tags reveal all, and the majority of the fandom agrees. It's Rimmer. Again. Slightly outing myself as an x reader enjoyer here. *shaking him* I could fix him I really believe I could. (I'm glad you're the one who sent the ask, Lexie, we can both bond over being self shippers lol)

🤝Character you relate to the most

WHY IS IT ALWAYS RIMMER ON THIS ASK GAME PLEASE HELP😭😭😭 Hes a stickler for the rules (as long as they benefit him), he's probably autistic, he loves hammond organ music (very disappointed that he hates my main man Glenn Miller though 😔), he was an outcast for most of his childhood, he was bullied, he spirals at the slightest bad thing. I'm starting to really sense this isnt a good thing 😭 (I swear I'm doing okay I've got a good support system please don't worry)

🔥Character you think is overrated

I don't know?? 😭😭 I think all of red dwarf's characters really add to the material as a whole, and hey, it's not like this fandom is really big enough for overrating anything. I might say Duane Dibley, because yeah he's funny, Danny really performs well as that character but I don't really understand as to why he was so much of a fan favourite that they brought him back (for season 6 I think it was?) So if I had to say one character it would be Duane.

🧨Character you love to hate

*smacking my face against the doorframe* its rimmer again 😭😭😭 he's such a prick, especially in the early seasons man, I simultaneously want to look after him and throw him against a wall. I contain multitudes, it's okay

🙈Character you always forget exists

I guess I'd have to say Holly? He's got brilliant comedic timing and delivery (as Lovett and Hayridge) but the fact she was cut out in the later seasons and then brought back in season 8 and then gone again in the more recent ones just feels disjointed so she's easily forgotten sadly. (Yes I use she/he pronouns for Holly, she's genderfluid to me <3)

🐰Favorite non-human character

I'm gonna be honest, it would really have to be Holly. (I'm discounting Hologram Rimmer because he still sees himself as human in some way and he's had far too much screentime in this post). The comedic timing, the deadpan delivery, that amazing scene where she counts by smacking her head against the screen always makes me howl.

❤️‍🩹Character who deserved better

All of them. All of them. Rimmer, for reasons we've already gone into. Lister, the survivors guilt, he was SA'd at 12?!!, his entire relationship with Kochanski, his alcoholism, crushing loneliness, I could go on. The Cat, his entire species left him and his family because they were old and/or disabled, again loneliness. Kryten, literally in denial about his crew being dead, left alone for over 3 million years and still somehow hanging onto his sanity through episodes of androids, the need to do anything, literally anything to make sure he doesn't think to hard about anything other than laundry, honestly people need to talk about him more. Kochanski, losing her dave, stuck with this dave who looks exactly like hers but is so different, watching him destroy himself, having nothing in common with any of the crew, LONELINESS MAN.

Thank you so much for the ask! This was a long one phew

[oldschoolfic-ds9]

Where Do I Begin?

by various authors, 2000

The ghost Fred Mumford has been alone on a planet for three million years and longs for company. He soon gets all the company he could possibly want, and more…

Words: 13686, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Rating: NC-17

Warnings: none listed

Characters: many crossover characters, Voyager crew, Dulmer, Lucsly [Archivist's note: Dulmer and Lucsly seem to be minor characters in this fic and they are the only DS9 connection.]

Relationships: Lister/Rimmer (Red Dwarf), Sam/Al (Quantum Leap), Randall/Hopkirk (Randall & Hopkirk 2000), Fred Mumford/Timothy Claypole (Rentaghost), other pairings

Reader suggested tags (what are these?): crossover - Star Trek: Voyager, Red Dwarf, Quantum Leap, Randall & Hopkirk 2000, Rentaghost, Casper, Star Wars, The Sixth Sense, The X-Files, Men In Black

links (link broken? report it and try the archive.org alternative):

archive.org - option 1

[smegdwarf]

Worth The Wait (Arnold Rimmer x Reader) - Part 4

A/N: Sorry for the long delay since the last part 😅

Beep beep …beep beep!

Rimmer made a soft grumble as his face remained nuzzled against the back of your shoulder, his arm pulling you in tighter against him as you reached up for his watch wrapped round one of the bars of the bunk above.

"Snooze it!" Rimmer mumbled in your ear.

"You know thats not a good idea!" You laughed softly as you turned to face him "And you know we can't risk being late"

"Sod Hollister and the rules!” Rimmer started to smile “Do we really need to work today?”

“Hey it’s not as if you have to work with Lister” You spoke softly as your hand crept up from under the blanket and rest gently on his cheek “You’re working with me today”

“I guess you could call it that”

“You can’t deny its fun sneaking around on the job” You smiled between gentle kisses “Sometimes its good to be bad!”

“Yeah as long as we don’t get caught” Rimmer chuckled quietly as he carefully pulled you closer “Can we not just stay here for a few more minutes?”

“It’s funny you should ask that!” You smiled as you reached up for Rimmer’s watch above you tilting the watch face down towards you “There’s a reason I set the alarm to go off half an hour earlier than it’s supposed too!”

“…so we can lay here for a bit?”

“Because I know you’re a pain in the backside to get out of bed in the morning!” You grinned as you moved your hand to his chest.

“I don’t see you in any rush to get up?” Rimmer teased as you slowly moved your fingertips.

“You know you’d pull me straight back down if I tried”

“Yeah I would!” He smiled as his hands moved slowly down your back.

“Erm what are your hands up to mister?” You smirked.

“Just making the most of it before we have to get up”

“Well don’t get too carried away, save it for after work!”

“Spoil sport!”

“Believe me it’ll be worth the wait!” You spoke quietly as your fingertips gently caressed his cheek.

Although you had said it would be worth the wait you never said you were going to make it easy …and neither was he.

Walking side by side down the corridor, you pushing the trolley as always while Rimmer looked at the days jobs on the clipboard.

“So boss whats first on the list for today?” You smiled as Rimmer continued to look at the clipboard.

“Well it says here the first task is that you kiss your superior!” Rimmer smirked as you rolled your eyes.

“Nice try!” You replied walking on with the trolley before being stopped by Rimmer.

“Excuse me you can’t disobey a superior” Rimmer had the devil in his eyes as he stood at the end of the trolley, preventing you from pushing it any further with his hands on the edge leaning over it.

“Oh I can…” You smiled resting your arms on the handle bar as you leant forward “…you see I’m dating the superior in question and he finds me irresistible”

“Does he really?”

“He’s also aware that we’re standing in the corridor where anyone can see us and not in my quarters”

“That maybe true but maybe he’s not scared of getting caught” Rimmer teased as you raised your eyebrow.

“Really?” You smiled as you reached out to place your hand under his chin slowly leaning closer “So you wouldn’t panic if Captain Hollister suddenly appeared at the end of the corridor?”

“God you’re a pain!” Rimmer’s eyes widen before settling into a playful glare as he pulled away.

“I never said I would make this easy!” You smiled as you walked past him with the trolley to the dispensing machine at the end of the corridor, the first stop of the day “Nothing til we’re off the clock”

While you were trying to get him to wait, Rimmer had decided to play you at own game and see whether he could get you to crack.

“So we’re basically servicing all the dispensers on this floor today?” You asked as you tidied up all the tools and supplies scattered around back onto the trolley while Rimmer finished closing up the machine he had just serviced.

“That’s the gist of it” Rimmer mumbled “Could you pass me the screwdriver you just put away my love?”

“Is that what you call all your subordinates?” You smirked as you handed him the screwdriver.

“Only you!” Rimmer turned to look at you with a sly but cheeky grin.

“Hmm just shut up and help me push this machine back!”

“Now now, you can’t talk to a superior like that!” You could see him smiling from the corner of your eye.

“Oh I’m sorry …honey could you shut up and help me push this machine back …please?” You smiled, your tongue peeking between your teeth as Rimmer laughed.

“Much better” Rimmer teased as he finished up the repair and stood up “Before we do could you just check something for me?”

“Check what?” You asked as Rimmer stepped aside.

“Just check to make sure everything’s done up properly” Rimmer gave you a smile he knew you couldn’t say no to even though technically speaking he was still your superior and you were at work.

“Everything seems fine” You shrugged not noticing Rimmer step closer and somewhat blocking you in behind the machine.

“I know, I just want a second pair of eyes to check it over”

“You’re up to something!” You raised an eyebrow.

“No I just want to make sure the job is done properly” Rimmer smiled.

“Alright fine ...it all seems good” You mumbled as you looked everything over, completely unaware of Rimmer’s hand edging closer to you.

“Look at me for a second” Rimmer looked at you as if he was genuinely concerned.

“Why, what’s wrong?” You looked up him as his hazel eyes traced over your face, his mouth curling into a smirk as his hands snapped round your wrists making you jump with a squeal, pulling you against him with a quiet chuckle as he held your arms behind his back “Oh no you’re definitely not up to something!”

“Ok I’m guilty, you got me!” Rimmer smiled putting his left hand on your waist as he brought his right up to cup your face, gently running his thumb across your cheek “but can you blame me?”

“Well I can’t deny, I am impressed” You spoke softly, your hand creeping up his chest and resting on his neck.

“Yeah?” Rimmer leaned in close to your ear “Enough to kiss me?”

“After what you just pulled, it would be cruel for me to say no” You gave him a sly smile as you pulled him closer to you as he grinned, tilting his head at an angle as he leant in, one arm wrapped tightly round your waist while the other cradled your head.

Occupied behind the vending machine, neither of you were aware of the footsteps suddenly coming down the corridor until a voice joined them.

“Mr Rimmer, Miss YL/N? How’s it going?” It was Captain Hollister.

“Yes Captain sir” Rimmer jumped out from behind the machine and straight into the short version of his salute while you stood beside him trying your hardest not to laugh “It’s going well sir!”

“So what were you doing behind that soup dispenser?” The Captain questioned.

“I... err” Rimmer stuttered as you jumped in.

“Oh Rimmer has just finished up the repair and wanted a second pair of eyes to check it over before we move on” You spoke so fast you almost tripped over your tongue.

“Right well I have a special job for the two of you” The Captain pulled a bunch of small envelopes from his back pocket and threw them on the work trolley “Please deliver these within the next hour!”

“Yes sir!” You smiled as you picked one of the envelopes up to inspect it.

“But sir what about the rest of our work?” Rimmer asked generally concerned as you rolled your eyes with a smile.

“Don’t worry Rimmer, the soup dispensers will still be busted tomorrow!” Captain Hollister replied sarcastically as he turned to walk away “Just get those envelopes delivered!”

“Yes sir!” Rimmer smiled reluctantly before performing another salute.

After giving it 5 minutes to ensure that the Captain was far enough away, you turned to Rimmer with a smile itching to burst into a laugh.

“It never gets old watching you squirm when someone almost catches us” You laughed quietly as Rimmer looked over the envelopes, he knew exactly what they were and he was not happy about it.

"Lets just get this over with" He sighed as he started walking off with the trolley leaving you to catch up.

"Hey whats going on?" You pouted as you finally caught up to him, trying to catch your breath.

"Nothing it's fine" He tried to shrug you off.

"Its not fine thought is it?" You weren't letting this go "Talk to me?"

"And tell you what? That this is just another attempt to piss me off and humiliate me? That even the Captain likes to get under my skin" Rimmer stopped suddenly and turned to you, his face flushed pink and his eyes watery "These letters are invites to the Captains weekly dinner!"

"Arnold I... I don't understand" You looked at him confused but waited patiently for him to answer "Have you never been chosen or...?"

"Oh I wish hadn't been chosen" Rimmer scoffed, confusing you even more.

"I think I can see where this is going" You sighed "What happened?"

"Just about everything that could go wrong" Rimmer kept his eyes down on the ground "I got conned out of about 2 months wages by an escort that I had paid to pretend to be my date, bought her a dress and everything ...then she didn't show up"

"Thats awful"

"That's just the start of it" Rimmer lift his gaze briefly to meet yours before it fell again "Everyone was judging me, giving me weird looks because I had turned up on my own, even though they all knew there wasn't a single person on board that actually liked me ...and you hadn't arrived yet"

"Arnold" You spoke softly as you reassuringly touched his arm.

"Then there was the whole soup thing"

"Ah gazpacho soup!" You smiled slightly, Lister had briefly mentioned when you first started working with Rimmer not to mention the cold soup dish but you never really understood why ...until now.

"Godsake, Lister has already told you hasn't he?" Rimmer huffed as you held his hands, giving them a gentle squeeze to calm him down.

"No, no" You hushed him "He warned me not to mention it thats all, he never actually told me the reason why and even if he had tried to tell me I would've stopped him"

"Really?"

"Yes, you should be the one to decide who hears that story not him" You reached up to hold his face "I have a feeling I know what happened and I want you to know that you were not the first person to make that mistake and certainly not the last"

"I know, its just that whole entire night was so humiliating" He mumbled "And I can't help but feel that this is Hollister's way of making fun of me"

"Hey, Hollister is a fat git, don't let him get you down" You gently brought Rimmer's face down closer to yours, placing a delicate kiss to his lips "That night is in the past and theres no point worrying about something you can't change"

"I understand, its just ...most of my life has been filled with moments like that, some worse than others"

"I get that but you don't have to hold onto them forever, its ok to let them go to make room for new moments ...better ones ...ones with me" You smiled sweetly as you saw a smile slowly creep across your boyfriends face "Now why don't you head back to my quarters, theres only an hour left of our shift and I can get these delivered and the trolley back on my own"

"But I'm your superior, I'm supposed to watch over you!"

"If I bump into Hollister I'll tell him you had to go help out another team on Z shift" You let your hand fall to his chest "Now go and relax ...my order!"

"Oi I'm supposed to be in charge!" Rimmer replied playfully.

"Go!" You raised your eyebrow as he chuckled.

After Rimmer was finally on his way to relax you started on your task of delivering the letters, luckily they were all to be delivered within the same area of each other. With the work trolley back in its home for the night you then decided to take a trip to the Captains office.

"Sir!" You smiled as you gave him a salute.

"What is it Y/N? I'm rather busy!" The captain groaned, the only thing he was busy doing was making his way through a big bag of crisps while he watched tv on his computer screen.

"Sir about those letters you had me deliver" You paused "There was only 7 ...isn't there usually 8?"

"So I only picked 7 crew members this time? Is that all?"

"Well I know I'm only a third tech and you probably aren't listening to a word I say but I was wondering if you'd be willing to give Arnold Rimmer another chance?" You closed your eyes tightly as you waited for a reply.

"Arnold Rimmer? Now why would I do that?"

"Sir please you don't understand!"

"Not a chance!"

"But sir!"

"Look its not my fault he messed up"

"I'm sorry sir but thats not a good enough excuse, people make mistakes, thats part of being human ...what's not ok is using someones mistake as a means of torturing them"

"What are you insinuating Y/N?"

"It's not just you sir, everyone on board likes to use Arnold's misfortunes against him as fuel" You knew this wouldn't end well on your part but you didn't care, you couldn't stand by while everyone used you boyfriend as a metaphorical punch bag "Everyone deserves a second chance ...even Arnold!"

"Why do you seem to care about him so much?"

"He's my friend sir!" You paused before raising an eyebrow with a smirk "and I also know how to be a decent human being"

"Why should I give him another chance?"

"Because that night haunts him still to this day, he was left humiliated and you sir are partly to blame"

"I don't have to deal with this!"

"Well I would if I were you, otherwise everytime you put Arnold down I'm going to do to you ten times worse" You may only be a third tech and just over 5ft tall but you were fierce and feisty and quite clearly had the captain where you wanted him, in your hand like putty as he scribbled out the letter and shoved it in an envelope.

"Here!" He snarled as he threw the letter "Now get out of my office!"

"Yes sir!" You gave him a sickeningly sweet smile and a quick salute as you were about to leave, turning back as reached the door "Oh and sir, please don't serve gazpacho soup!"

"Whatever! Just get out!" He snapped as you left laughing.

Knowing full well that last request would get completely ignored, you took a trip to the chefs that would be preparing the dinner, making up some story that the Captain had sent you to tell them that the soup course had changed.

“Sorry I’m late, Hollister wouldn’t shut up when I dropped in to tell him the letters were delivered” You mumbled as you looked up upon entering your quarters “Well hello!”

Half expecting Rimmer to still be in full uniform and not having even undone his tie, it was safe to say you were more than a little surprised to see him lying on your bunk and watching tv on the vid screen in nothing but his white t-shirt and underwear.

“I was starting to think you weren’t coming back!” Rimmer looked up at you with a smile.

“I wasn’t expecting such a view!” You smirked “Definitely a surprise …which by the way I have one for you!”

“You do?” Rimmer asked curiously as he sat up slightly, propping himself up on his elbow as you sat on the edge of the bunk with him.

“Here!” You replied as you handed him the envelope.

“This is a..." Rimmer muttered as he sat up fully, hesitantly taking the envelope from your hand "How?"

"Lets just say I had a talk with Hollister and made him give you a second chance" You smiled sweetly, a hint of mischief in your eye that Rimmer instantly noticed.

"Oh god what did you do?" Rimmer sighed with a smile.

"Nothing you need to worry about, I just knocked him down a peg or two and made him realise what an arse he is!"

"What if it all goes wrong again?"

"It won't"

"What do you mean?"

“Well, first of all your date won’t con you and not show up”

“They won’t?”

“Of course not” You smiled as you stood up, holding your hands out for him to follow “Because I’ll be your date!”

“But nobody knows about us?” Rimmer’s brow furrowed.

“And they won’t” You spoke softly “As far as they know we’re just friends!”

“I don’t know if I can deal with not touching you though” Rimmer’s worried look slowly turned into a smirk as he leant in a little closer to you.

“Who said you couldn’t?” Your voice lowered as you leant closer to his ear “You should be a pro at sneaking about by now”

“You and me both!” Rimmer grinned down at you.

“Exactly!” You reached up to cup his face.

“I know you’ll tell me not too but I will buy you a dress” Rimmer’s smiled shifted more innocently “It’s the least I can do for you setting this up!”

“Hey I just want you to be happy” You replied between gentle kisses “Besides it’ll be one of the rare times you’ll actually see me in a dress” you paused as you moved your lips to his ear “So make the most of it!”

“Oh I’m sure I will” Rimmer replied, muffled slightly as he buried his nose in the crook of your neck, smothering the skin with kisses.

“Hey I know I made you wait all day but slow down” You laughed quietly as Rimmer looked up from your shoulder with a smirk.

“You know I can’t help it!” Rimmer’s eyes watched as you took a step back throwing your work shirt to one side “May I continue?”

“You may!” You replied softly as Rimmer delicately tugged at your hips to bring you against him.

“Hmm…” Rimmer sighed as he swayed you gently “This is all I’ve wanted all day”

“Really?” You raised your eyebrow with a smile “So you wouldn’t want to get into bed then?”

“Well that…” Rimmer paused as he picked you up, wrapping your legs round his waist “Is out of the question! But you know I just like being with you”

“I know darling” You smiled down at him as you ran your thumb across the scar along his jaw “I love you”

“I love you too” Rimmer’s voice was soft as he held you tightly, carefully letting your feet meet the floor again “Completely and totally!”

“I’m a lucky girl”

“I think I’m the lucky one” Rimmer cooed, his eyes locked on yours as he gently tucked your hair behind your ears, his thumbs gently caressing your cheeks before his hands made their way slowly down your body to entwine with yours “Thank you for giving me the light of the day”

“Thank you for letting me in!” You spoke quietly as you moved closer, pressing yourself against him “Now where were we before Hollister showed up?”

“Hmm I think I remember” Rimmer smiled sweetly as you felt his arm wrapped tightly round your waist while he held your face in his free hand bringing you into a kiss, tilting his head slightly, his tongue moving gracefully with yours as his thumb brushed gently across your cheek “Maybe we should take this to the bed?”

[theannonomusgamblerpt2]

Rimmer x reader cheaters never prosper

To the person who requested a rimmer smut and period fic they are halfway done but I just need to V e n t

You can feel your breath catching in your lungs. your eyes burn with the dryness of staring at a screen for hours. You look down at your chicken scratch notes and groan. You can stand another second of this. You get up from your desk and trudge over to your bed it's only a 10 minute nap you think

You hear the sounds of paper shuffling. Oh god has your homework followed you into you dream. Wait no... you can hear mumbling

"C'mon where is it. I swear if lister took my notes again I'll bludgeon him."

"Rimmer?" You say "Y/n! What are you doing in my bed?" He says "are you the one who stole my notes?" He smerks like he caught you in the act. "rimmer what are you doing its 3 am." You ask in confusion "I could ask you the same thing missy. Dont you know that cheaters never prosper." Cheaters??? what?????

You mind finally catches up with the situation "rimmer I did not steal your notes. And you are In my room." You sigh he looks at you dumbfounded for a moment "lights." You say and as the room brightens his face goes from confusion to horrified.

"A-ah I see sorry my m-mistake I-I'll ...sorry.." he says looking down with a blush. "Rimmer dont worry. But what are you doing up so late?" He seems to only blush harder at your question. "Officers exam tomorrow." He mumbles all embarrassed. "Well then you should probably get some rest. I know you'll do great." You say he thanks you and leaves. You settle back down to sleep but before you dose you remember "lock." You say and hear your doors click into place.

Rimmer sighs as he reaches his room. He can't believe he let himself get so distracted he just walks into a room that want his. Thank god he didn't walk in on her changing. Although really its y/n's fault for not locking her door so it's on her. He looks down at the stack of papers in his hand and sees a foreign page. When he takes a closer look at the page he realizes its y/n's. He stares at the loops and curves of their hand writing. Reading their notes over and over again. Their handwriting is so much better than his. Lucky for him though he's to tired to put more into that thought he places the paper on the table and starts to get ready for bed.

So I was thinking of putting this and the next two fics into a new series I'm going to call

PINING IN SPACE

Part 1

[judus-rimmer]

Chapters: 4/? Fandom: Red Dwarf Rating: Not Rated Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: rimmerxreader, rimmerXexza Characters: Arnold Rimmer, David Lister, Holly, and holly - Character, both hols, The Cat, exza reckless, Kryten, kachanski, listers friends, maybe more - Character Additional Tags: Angst, Romance, Fluff, AU, Earth AU, AI written, partial AI written, XReader, room mate au, Slow Burn, enamies to friends to lovers, Sort Of, past trauma, Past Abuse, mentions of abuse, mentions of self harm, mentions of bad past, bad past, Comfort, Hurt, Pain, Arguing, Fighting, Breakups, relationships, Past Relationships, bad family issues, Maybe more - Freeform, house share, Anxiety, Depression, Trust Issues Series: Part 3 of Red dwarf Summary:

An earth-based AU about the boys from the Dwarf and their new flat-mate, who has no clue what she's gotten herself into.

Down on her luck, running from a bad past she'd rather forget, with only a small amount of change in her pocket, Exza moves to a small sea-side town in England. Moving into a run-down, tiny flat-share with two guys she's never met before... well, what could possibly go wrong?