#riku is like i need to get stronger and terra is like you’re already strong enough. and then they laugh. thats the entire scene. which like

[robotsafari]

i also watched the riku and terra limit cut scene and BOOOO THATS WAS SO NOTHINGBURGER AUUUGHH

[phoenix-downer]

A Step Closer to Home

Sora’s stuck in Quadratum, alone, but a familiar voice comforts him and gives him courage to keep moving forward. His friends are waiting for him, and he wants to return to them, no matter what.

~1935 words. Post-Kingdom Hearts III and Melody of Memory. Gen, Friendship. Introspection, Reflection, Slight Angst, Hope. Sora POV. Written for @sorazine​. 

Sora never thought he’d get tired of seeing other worlds, but he sure was getting tired of this one.

Maybe it was because he was stuck here. Couldn’t leave like he wanted to. It wasn’t like this was an ugly place, or even a bad place, but all the tall buildings and skyscrapers were starting to feel more like prison walls boxing him in than a testament to all the cool things people could do with the right technology. 

It was always cities, wasn’t it? Always cities he was getting stuck in. First The World That Never Was, and now this place. Quadratum, it was called. Full of more monsters he had to fight, but this time without the promise he would be able to get home. 

Home. What he wouldn’t give to see it again. He missed the feel of the sand beneath his bare feet, the cold of the waves crashing against the shore, the heat from the sun beating down on his back. He was an islander, through and through, and he felt lost without his home. Lost without being able to see all the stars in the sky. He could barely see them from here—the city lights were too bright for that. 

More than Destiny Islands itself, though, he missed his friends. There was an empty ache inside his heart where they should be. Did they miss him as much as he missed them? He almost wished they didn’t. Because if they did, that would just mean more pain for them, and they had already suffered too much. 

It was okay that he was wandering around the streets of Quadratum at night all by himself. Really. The more monsters he fought, the better, even though it was pouring down rain. He just had to keep fighting and fighting and fighting. One foot in front of the other, till he stumbled on a curb and fell with a plop onto the wet ground, the rain pouring down around him and chilling him to the bone. 

“Guess I really should’ve nagged Donald more about that coat, or asked Goofy to help me buy one,” he said as he huddled in on himself. His Keyblade lay on the ground nearby, and it glinted dully from the street lights. He was a little stronger than when he’d first gotten here, but it was still nothing compared to how he used to be able to fight. He was weak without his friends. Powerless. Always had been, always would be. 

He wouldn’t change what he’d done. He didn’t regret saving them. Carrying their pain in his own heart was a part of caring. Their strength was his strength, their weakness his weakness, their smiles his smiles, their tears his tears. 

But his tears weren’t their tears. They welled up in his eyes and dripped down his cheeks and mingled with the water on the ground, empty and sad and alone. No one came to wipe his eyes or dry his face; no one was here to share his pain like he’d shared theirs. 

Maybe his friends were crying for him back in the Realm of Light, but the connections had been cut off as he’d crossed over into this realm. They could be crying their hearts out, and he still wouldn’t know.

Man, being alone really sucked. The empty ache in his heart throbbed, and try as he might, he couldn’t get the tears to stop coming. Riku would be giving him so much crap for this right now if he were here, because Sora was doing the exact opposite of pulling it together. What he wouldn’t give for some tough love from his friend right about now. But the floodgates had been opened, and he’d just have to let it all out till there was nothing left. 

“I guess that’s the nice thing about the rain,” he remarked to no one as he wiped his eyes. “When the sky’s crying, no one else can tell you’re crying, too.”

It was like that story Kairi had told him once, about why it rained. One of her grandmother’s stories from Radiant Garden. The original rulers of Radiant Garden had lived in the skies, it was said, and when the king died, the queen cried for him so much that her tears fell from the sky and flooded the land. The people of Radiant Garden took those floods and built waterfalls and pools and canals, and those waterfalls and pools and canals gave rise to Radiant Garden’s beautiful flowers.

Sora had always thought the story was really sad, but sitting here soaking wet on the ground without a friend in sight, it just seemed so much worse. He felt as alone as that queen must’ve felt. But at least people remembered her and the king. No one would tell stories about Sora. He was just a nobody, stuck here in the darkness. Once he was gone for good, he’d fade into oblivion, and that would be that. 

Getting up was pointless. He’d just have to keep fighting, and for what? So he could dream about seeing Kairi and Riku and the rest of his friends again? Maybe it would be better if he just stayed here and—

“You don’t really believe that, do you?”

He wiped his eyes and looked around, but he couldn’t see anyone else. “Huh?”

“You don’t really think giving up is okay.” 

He grabbed his Keyblade and struggled to his feet. “Who are you? What do you want with me?”

“Relax, Sora. I know you’re feeling down right now, but you’ll be okay.” 

The voice was oddly familiar. Sora knew he had heard it before. Who—

“How do you know my name?” he decided to ask. 

“Because I’m you.”

Sora tilted his head. “Huh? Now I really am confused.”

He glanced at his reflection in one of the puddles nearby. It still looked pretty much the same as it did earlier, just with more ripples because of the raindrops. How could this voice be his? 

And yet, even as he thought about it, it made sense. The familiarity, the hunch that he knew this person. He would’ve recognized the heart of one of his friends immediately, and it wasn’t any of them. That must mean the voice wasn’t lying. 

“I’m not the ‘you’ you are right now,” the voice explained.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“From your point of view, I’m ‘you’ from the future.” 

“Oh,” Sora said as he tried to wrap his head around this information.

“I know you’re feeling down,” the voice said. “I know things are rough right now. And I’d be lying if I said you won’t face any more hardships before you make it home. Because you will, and you need to prepare yourself for them. You’ll have to face new enemies. Someone you think is a friend is gonna be an enemy, and someone you think is an enemy will actually be a friend.” 

Sora’s head drooped. Things were going to get even worse from here? A friend was going to betray him? How was that supposed to make him feel any better? Hadn’t he been through enough already? He just wanted to go home to his friends. Was that really so hard to ask? 

“I know all of that sounds bad, but don’t let it get you down,” the voice continued. “The night is always darkest before dawn, remember? But dawn will come. You’re gonna pull through this.”

Sora looked at his reflection in the puddle again. It looked very small and alone. “How do you know?” he asked the voice, and his voice also sounded very small and alone. 

“Your heart is strong. It always has been.” 

He let his Keyblade disappear. “But I’m only strong because of my friends. They gave me their strength. Without them, I—”

“Sora, take a look around you. What do you see?”

Sora sighed deeply. “I’m stuck in this city. My powers are a small fraction of what they used to be. I have to fight these monsters. And to top it all off, it’s still raining, and I’m wet and cold and I—”

“You’re right, it is raining. Do you know why?”

He kicked water onto the nearby curb. “Because the universe hates me,” he muttered with a pout.

“It’s the opposite, actually. Remember Kairi’s grandmother’s story?”

“The one where the queen of Radiant Garden cried after the king died? I was just thinking about it, actually.” 

His older self sure was a winner, reminding him of sad thing after sad thing. Yikes. He hoped he wouldn’t be a complete killjoy once he grew up. 

“This rain… it’s like the rain from the story,” the voice said. “Sora, this rain is the tears of our friends.” 

Sora’s breath caught. No way. There was no way. He hadn’t been able to feel his connections to his friends ever since he’d come here. But was that because he hadn’t been looking in the right place? 

He held his hands out as the rain continued to fall, as it dripped down his face and hair, and this time, he let it. This time, he closed his eyes and listened. 

“Kairi and Riku,” he said. He could feel their hearts now as the rain fell on his outstretched arms. He could sense their pain. “Roxas and Axel and Xion, too.” This was like when he’d journeyed through the Keyblade Graveyard a second time as he’d searched for Kairi. His hearts were still connected to theirs somehow, and he could feel what they were feeling. “Terra and Aqua and Ven, Naminé, Donald and Goofy and the King.” His eyes fluttered open. “They’re all still with me. How did I not realize it?”

“Sometimes our connection to our friends doesn’t look the way we expect it to,” the voice said. “But you’re right. This is their sadness and pain because you’re gone. And they know you’re sad, too. They all miss you. Their hearts are trying to reach you, and right now, this is the only way they can.” 

Sora wiped his eyes. He’d been so lost in his own pain that he’d lost sight of how his friends were doing, even though they’d been trying to reach him through the rain. He wouldn’t ignore his own sadness or pretend like everything was fine, but he couldn’t bear to make his friends cry like this, either. And they wouldn’t be okay till they’d gotten back what was lost. 

“They’ll stop crying when I get home, right?” he said. 

The voice chuckled. “Well, they’ll cry a lot more at first, but those will be happy tears. Then the crying will stop, yeah. And it’ll be replaced by smiling.”

“In that case, I better get back to them as soon as I can. I want to see their smiles again!”

“That’s the spirit!”

Sora smiled and nodded. “Thank you, Future Me. I know it won’t be easy, but I made a promise, and I’m gonna keep it. I will get home, no matter what. It might take a while, and I might go through a lot, but every step forward is always a step closer to home.” 

The voice was gone now, but Sora knew he wasn’t alone. As much as it made him sad that his friends were grieving because he was gone, the only way to fix that was to return to them. And return to them he would, so he could make the tears stop and bring back the smiles on their faces. 

For that, he would keep moving forward, one step at a time. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: A big thank you to the mods for organizing everything and the artists and other writers for creating such beautiful pieces! It was such an honor to have been a part of this zine for one of my favorite characters of all time! 

[cutegirlmayra]

Kairi’s Training Prompt

-After Melody of Memory-

                                              *  SPOILER WARNING *

I couldn’t stop thinking about it... I must have gotten over-confident... no, that’s not it. I feel it in my heart. I know why I said that to Riku... Even knowing I wasn’t nearly as ready to face the dangers of a... unreality world... I was just expecting Riku to say what you did.

When I first came back, you had asked if I was ready. It took me by surprise for a minute... but then, you always did.

Riku... I won’t say I’m sorry for asking to go with him, but I will say I knew and respected his honest hesitation.

With how I currently am... and with all the amazing adventures you and him have been on... I’ll keep you safe, Sora. Riku will find you, and I’ll be ready.

When the time is right, Master Aqua will tell me. I will either return to the Final World... or I’ll greet you and Riku when you get back.

But I’m not waiting any longer.

Aqua flung her keyblade up as the two were locked in a duel mid-air. Kairi, clenching her teeth, opened her mouth a moment at the realization of her next attack. Attempting to face it head on instead of her usual dodging route, she spun her keyblade around and fired off a new ranged attack she had been trying to work on.

Aqua was taking her seriously, and unleashed her powerful attack that sent a violent, rippling wave right through her spheres of light, and cut Kairi back to the ground.

As her head hit the dirt, she relived the moment in her heart, where Xehanort had revealed himself before...

As Aqua approached, Kairi’s head was still ringing, and looking up... the dark illusion of him coming towards her glitched into her reality.

“Eh.. ah..!” she shook her head, scooting back a moment as she recounted how easily he would grab her keyblade, how weak she was to try and rival a master. “No...” she gripped her hand into a tight fist by her heart, looking away from the glitching images of Aqua being replaced by Master Xehanort.

“I won’t... fall again!” She pushed off the ground, gripping her keyblade in a new way and shoving it into Aqua’s.

Aqua saw something different in Kairi... a glimmer of raw power she didn’t see before.

“This is...” Her eyes widened... seeing Sora within them. “I see now.” She smiled, and broke the tension of their two keyblades colliding, pushing Kairi back. “Looks like I’m not the only one teaching you strength.” She was glad to see that there was some influence, but couldn’t pin-point exactly why Kairi’s eyes reflected his own spirit in them...

‘They were close friends...’ she told herself, but as she quickly analyzed the battled previously, she noticed that every time she was about to mention--let’s say, Kairi’s footing--that she’d already adjust as though something was nudging her in the right direction.

“...Will lingers.” she spoke aloud, though secretly to herself, but through Kairi’s panting and waiting to see what her opponent would do... she heard it.

“What?” She broke her stance, standing upright again and out of her battle-ready position.

Aqua was looking down, remembering Terra and shook her head as Kairi snapped her out of her thoughts. “Sorry.” She gestured her with her hand towards her, “I should... make it a habit not to think too much while we’re training.” She swiped her keyblade out in front of her again, letting it rest elegantly by her side. “Where were we?”

Kairi’s eyes narrowed again, “You said... will lingers. What do you mean?”

Silence... as Aqua stared at her, wondering...

She sighed, at last, “That’s enough training for today.” Relaxing, she approached Kairi again, placing a hand on her shoulder, “We’ll get your tolerance to attacks up, lots of strength training should do it. As for stamina to keep you up during combat...” She removed the hand to then put it up to her chin, “How about a few laps around the place?”

She was cheery, and her positive but fierce training style was exactly what Kairi wanted.

“Right. A few laps.” Kairi took off, letting her keyblade fade into sparkling dusts of light.

“And no flying!” Aqua cupped her hand to the side of her mouth to make sure her voice and advice carried through the wind. With a slight inward chuckle to herself, she looked fondly after Kairi’s racing image.

“Huh?” She then blinked and scanned the image again... seeing Sora running right alongside Kairi before she looked away, shook her head, and squinted through the light of the sun.

It was just Kairi.

“...I... Hmm... Guess I still need to adjust to the light.” She amused out loud, a bad habit. Though... it didn’t concern her, her odd mirage.

She was glad to recognize some of Sora in her.

That was what she was recognizing,.. right?

After circling about a few times, Kairi looked behind her shoulder, seeing that Aqua had gone and looked off to her favorite meditative spot.

She was focused keenly in on it, a cliff that overlooked the vastness of time to her... a beautiful scenery to be alone.

Though, she wasn’t quite comfortable being alone... she was used to it.

Master Aqua has been training me for days now. Though, I know it’s only been a short time since Riku’s departure in the Final World, I feel as though I’ve gotten stronger.

Maybe I’m a fast learner. It makes me happy to think that.

...How are you, Sora? Still having amazing adventures? I just know you are. I can’t picture you being so disheartened, it’s not like you.

I have a feeling... you’re waiting this time. And don’t worry, I won’t keep you waiting nearly as long as you did me!

Sorry... that was a joke, and this time, I will admit my wrong.

I know you and Riku miss our time on Destiny Island. When we returned the first time from the Final World... do you remember what you told me?

You promised you would return.

I...

Kairi held the pen up to her cheek, as though wondering if she should say this. Pen was permeant. She sort of... wished she had brought a pencil then.

But nonetheless, she told herself, “Well, no going back now.” And happily continued in her quiet letter to Sora. A pastime she felt she needed to do now, not just for herself.

Somehow... she felt his heart could read it. And secretly... she hoped it’d give him strength.

I felt your hand tighten around mine. Though we had seen fireworks, ate sea-salt ice cream together,... even got your friend back with his. I never felt such longing before...

Maybe because you were never physically there, because our hearts were always so connected before.

But in that moment, I had never felt more away from you.

Kairi felt a tear on her cheek and quickly scraped it away, getting ink on her face, but not noticing it.

She kept writing.

Is that strange? To feel close to you when you’re away, and be so happy when we’re together at last... but then, in a moment you wanted me to feel even more so that you would always be there... I felt like your hand was saying goodbye.

I know that’s silly. You hate goodbyes. And honestly? I hate them too.

I know you wanted to comfort me, and you really did. Honest, you did.

The ink smeared across her face as her warm tears kept sliding gently but in a hurried stream down her cheek. Her wrist kept wiping them, but to no avail.

Her vision was blurry, and it made her smile even more.

I miss you. Sora, when I was reliving your past, that time I was in your heart... I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Our fates are one, now... but my fate has never been my own to choose.

I didn’t know that. Did you?

Is that why you were always chasing after me? Is that why I always got you hurt?

I know you wouldn’t say that. Not to my face, anyway. Oh, by the way, Donald and Goofy are really worried about you... But I told them you’re pint is still enough to get back to them!

Suddenly, Kairi felt that presence again... she saw herself glowing and looked at her hand, amazed as her body flashed into light.

Sora then opened his eyes, looking lovingly to the pen, and scribbled words down as quickly as he could. He had a big grin on his face, enjoying every moment of it, before nodding that he was done.

He then took his hand and wiped the remaining tears and ink on her face, carefully trying to indirectly help clean her up, and then closed his eyes again.

Kairi’s body flashed in light and she was herself again; still in a bit of shock, she looked back down at her hand with the pen in it.

“Wha...” she looked at her letter...

and covered her mouth as her eyes widened in more tears.

You know good and well I wouldn’t ever even think that, Kairi!

Even the first line blew her away. “Sora...” She laughed to herself, but noticed there was more and quickly looked over it.

“I never had a reply before...”

Your fate and mine are intertwined now, remember? I know you once forgot my name, but that’s okay. My memory was replaced by Naminé once! So I guess we’re even on that one.

She had to stop reading only to close her eyes and cry, breathing through her hand tightly clasped over her sobbing mouth.

She blinked her eyes open to see what else was written then.

My voice... and maybe even most of me might be consciously lost in another world... one of fiction and fantasy. But Kairi? No matter where I am, I know our hearts will find each other.

You’ve always been my guiding key.

She dropped the paper, covering her face and trying to compose herself. “Sora... Sora..!” She wished she could say the same thing back to him.

As the paper fell to the ground, it was suddenly swooped up by the wind, threatening to fall off the cliff.

“Ah! No!” She darted after it, reaching down at the edge as it floated in twisting turns off the cliff edge.

Determined to read the last of his message, not knowing if they could ever communicate like that again, she rushed back and took a leaping dive off the cliff.

Her hand grasped for the letter’s paper... and finally, grabbed it. “Ah-ha!” she grinned with an open mouth before gliding over the sea and turning over the trees to land safely back to the ground.

She looked to see the last of his message flapping in the newly strong wind that had picked up, seeing it say...

Look to the sky, Kairi. I promised, didn’t I? I’m coming back, and when I do, we’re gonna see all those worlds together again! This time, my hand won’t squeeze so tight... but my arms will.

“Kairi?”

Looking up from the crinkled and flapping paper in her hands, Aqua’s voice had startled her momentarily.

“O-oh, Master Aqua...” She didn’t realize...

Aqua’s hand flung up to her face in surprise, “W-...What happened to you?”

Kairi tried to look down at her cheeks, not realizing that Sora had made the mess even worse, spreading the ink all over her face...

“Ah..!” Embarrassed, she laughed and tried to get it off again. “It.. It won’t come off!” She panicked only slightly, “The wind from when I was flying must have dried it!”

“Flying? Didn’t I tell you-... ah, nevermind.” Aqua shook her head, thinking it best to put her ‘Training’ aside for a moment. “Let’s get you cleaned up.” she kindly spoke out and walked over to her, helping her to the sea so she could wash her face off.

Kairi then looked up to the sky... and swore she saw a cloud spell out... smile.

[i-believe-in-soriku]

Essay Part 1: Riku’s Journey

Riku is undeniably the character who has experienced the greatest evolution throughout the series.

His journey begins in Destiny Islands, when he was just a little kid who wanted to live adventures with his best friend, Sora.

Riku: When we grow up, let's get off this island. We'll go on real adventures, not this kid stuff!

That's that will of discovering the world, and the fact that he was really close to his friend Sora, that lead him to make a promise:

Terra: Is there some reason you're interested in the outside world?

Riku: Yeah. I wanna be strong one day. Like that kid who left. He went to the outside world - I bet he's really strong now. I know it's out there somewhere - the strength that I need.

Terra: Strength for what?

Riku: To protect the things that matter. You know, like my friends.

Riku had a very strong friendship with Sora. The two of them used to fight with wooden swords, explore the islands, and watch the stars together. But then, Kairi came to the Islands and became part of their life. Years passed and their friendship became stronger - but somehow something was missing.

That's when Kingdom Hearts happens. At this time, Riku wanted to explore the other worlds, feeling trapped on Destiny Islands - will he had already expressed ten years before. Riku was jealous of Sora, and probably of Kairi and Sora's growing proximity. Riku felt lonely, as we can see during the game. These dark feelings caused him to be manipulated by Maleficent, and to turn to darkness.

There are also other reasons: he wanted to see the world - which he already wanted as a five years old kid-, he wanted to become stronger in order to protect his friends - even if he did it the wrong way, he didn't forget that goal, as proved by this scene:

Riku: So, Kairi's like a lifeless puppet now?

Maleficent: Precisely.

Riku: And her heart was...

Maleficent: Taken by the Heartless, no doubt.

Riku: Tell me! What can I do?

Maleficent, as the evil witch she is, manipulated him strengthening his feelings of loneliness, jealousy and betrayal.

Maleficent: You see? It's just as I told you. While you toiled away trying to find your dear friend, he quite simply replaced you with some new companions. Evidently, he values them far more than he does you. You're better off without that wretched boy. Now, think no more of him, and come with me. I'll help you find what you're searching for.

Ansem, on his side, pretended he knew the way to make him stronger, as Riku was jealous of Sora's strength...

Ansem: The heart that is strong and true shall win the Keyblade.

Riku: What? You're saying my heart's weaker than his?

Ansem: For that instant, it was. However, you can become stronger. You should not fear in stepping through the door to darkness. It held no terror for you. Plunger deeper into the darkness and your heart will grow even stronger.

Riku: What should I do?

Ansem: It's really quite simple. Open yourself to the darkness. That is all. Let your heart, your being, become darkness itself.

... but he used him as a puppet to achieve his goals. The way he asked advices to bad people shows how lost that boy was. However, Riku finished by regain control of himself, and at the end of the game, decided to help Mickey close the Door to Darkness, even if it meant being somehow left behind - a beautiful act of redemption.

But that's only the begining of his story. In Chain of Memories, we follow Riku who has to fight his own darkness, embodied by Ansem (and also Repliku who mocks his fear of darkness). At first, Riku totaly rejects the darkness inside of him, afraid that it might overpower him once again.

Riku: All you have been talking about is the darkness. I can only assume you wanna pull me back in... so you can play Puppet Master.

And he doesn't want to hurt people like he did.

But we can see that he's becoming more and more mature, because this game is also about how Riku began to accept the part of darkness inside him as a strength (and I think Mickey helped him to do that). That's what makes him choose the way to Dawn.

Riku: What are you making me choose now?

DiZ: Between the road to light - and the road to darkness.

Riku: Neither suits me. I'm taking the middle road.

DiZ: Do you mean the twilight road to nightfall?

Riku: No. It's the road to dawn.

During 358/2 Days, Riku's will is to make sure that his best friend sleeps in peace - actually, he wants him to recover his memories and wake up. He teams up with Mickey and DiZ/Ansem the Wise to do so. In this game, Riku embraces the darkness in his heart while fighting Roxas...

Riku: I have to release the power in my heart- the dark power that I've been holding back. Even... if it changes me forever.

...a sacrifice made even though he's aware he may not find his own body anymore - which illustrates how Riku has finally accepted that darkness isn't 100% evil. We can also see that he's no longer bitter towards others: he's not even angry against Sora's Nobodies for keeping him away from his friend - just sad.

Xion: So, do you hate me for taking your friend away?

Riku: Nah. I guess... I'm just sad.

Still, in KH2, Riku is ashamed by his appearence and hides himself from Sora, even though he keeps on protecting him at distance. When they finally meet again, he tells this shame calling himself "a castaway from the darkness":

Riku: I'm no one---just a castaway from the darkness.

But he recovers his true self.

KH2 insists on the fact that despite a clear maturation, Riku still has doubts and still feel a little bit lonely. Sora points at:

Sora: Riku... C'mon, man! Why did you try to do so much on your own?You got friends...like us!

He still needs his friends to reassure him and accept him, and still thinks he can't get rid of his own darkness - his shame is still here:

Sora: You're coming back with us, right?

Riku: I had given in to the darkness.

Sora: Riku!

Riku: How'm I gonna face everyone?

Dream Drop Distance is a turning point to Riku's character. During the game, it is underlined that Riku is holding back some stuff inside of him, by four characters including himself.

Riku (to Quasi): Are you sure that's what's stopping you? Because I think something else is holding you back. Ask your heart, Quasimodo. [...] Wish I could take my own advice.

And:

Quasimodo: Master Frollo--he made me live inside the bell tower, but the real walls were the ones I built around my heart. You helped me see that, Riku.

Riku: I was...speaking from...personal experience.

Phoebus: I'd say you still keep a lot locked inside.

He also admits that he feels like his darkness will always follow him:

Riku: I gave in to the darkness once. And ever since, it's chased me around in one form or another.

But the end of the game proves that Riku has achieved a balance (a confidence that we can see in KH3).

Indeed, during the last parts of 3D, Riku is shown as a being of exception, whom heart has light and darkness in balance...

YMX: I don't know how you did it, but you really have found a way to trap darkness inside your heart

...balance which enables him to protect Sora, becoming his Dream Eater - he is able to change his very NATURE and didn't even noticed it.

Riku finally obtains the title of Keyblade Master showing that he is worthy of wielding a Keyblade - which he seemed to doubt at the beginning of the game:

Riku: My Keyblade--it just sort of...popped into my hand when I needed it most.

He has learned how to open his heart throughout his adventures, which can be seen in KH3.

In KH3 his new goals are to save Aqua and, with the others, fight the Seekers of Darkness. During the road, Mickey helps him to realize that he finally has the strenght he was aiming at since the very beginning: to protect the one person that matters.

Riku: I'm in control now. Maybe it's because you're with me this time.

Mickey: It's not me. I think it's because you've finally found inside you that special strength to protect what matters.

And the game lets no doubt: this person is Sora. He sacrifices himself to protect his friend against the Demon Tide in the Keyblade Graveyard.

This is a very brief summary of everything Riku did, but that's enought to come to a conclusion. If you have read carefully, you should have noticed that I didn't spoke about Sora that much. Because, even if Sora is actually what matters the most to Riku, the main reason why he did all those things, Sora is not what defines Riku.

Riku has a developpement that shows that he has to fight his own demons, overcomes his doubts and searches the strenght to protect who he cares about. He has other relationships than his (wonderful) relationship with Sora: for example, his friendship with Mickey.

He faced many things with the King and they share a special bond, just as Sora's with Donald and Goofy. He also shares a link with Terra and somehow Aqua, even though it's not developped that much.

Regarding of those elements, it is completely unfair to say that Riku isn't well written or too much written around Sora. Riku is interesting, relatable and touching, and I hope that he's going to have a good treatment in the future of the series. Watching the end of KH3 and Re:Mind, there's no doubt about the fact that he has an important role to play.

I want to close this part saying that Riku also has a personality. He's determined, selfless, mature, of good advice, a little bit sassy. Riku, even if he has doubts, can be now considered as confident. He is empathetic, cares about others, knows how to confort his friends, especially Sora. There are other important points - like the fact he's smart ~ but I think those are the main elements.

Intro • Part 2

[akusaiisreal-changemymind]

Chapter 4: Memory Plague and Catching Up  Fandom: Kingdom Hearts Rating: Mature Warnings: Underage Relationships: Isa/Lea (Kingdom Hearts), Axel/Saïx (Kingdom Hearts), Demyx/Ienzo (Kingdom Hearts), Riku/Sora (Kingdom Hearts), implied Aqua/Terra (Kingdom Hearts) Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Royalty, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Past Mpreg, de-aged character, Rating May Change, This is basically if Kingdom Hearts was a period novel, Slow Burn, Fluff and Angst, Mentions of past abuse, Non-Graphic Violence

The halls of Oscuro Castle were cold and silent, almost devoid of life. Xehanort had always remembered it being that way, even as a small boy. He paid the quiet no mind and instead listened to the rhythm of his boot heels thumping softly against the carpeted floors of the castle’s private upper levels.

A single guard stood by the door that led into a bed chamber. When she saw Xehanort approaching out of the corner of her eye, she immediately straightened her posture and greeted him formally.

Xehanort nodded at the guard as she let him into the room. When he stepped in, he was not at all surprised to see the lump on the bed hadn’t moved despite it being nearly noon. He walked over to a small table where a pitcher sat along with an untouched platter of bread and various fruits for breakfast. He lifted the pitcher and crossed back over to the bed, slowly pouring the contents of the pitcher all over the blankets.

He was glad that it turned out to just be iced water. It would have been a shame to have wasted good wine.

The sleeping figure jerked awake, sputtering when some of the liquid got into his mouth and up his nose. Xehanort stopped pouring and waited patiently for the younger boy to stop flailing around before greeting him. “Good day, Vanitas.”

“Fuck you.” Vanitas hissed. He was already a grumpy riser and being woken up so rudely didn’t help. “Why did you just walk in here and wake me up like you own the place?” When Xehanort raised an eyebrow at him, he rephrased. “I mean, like there’s a fire or something?”

“Xigbar has returned from home, so I’ve scheduled a family meeting in the council chamber that will take place three hours from now. I expect you to be there awake, fully dressed, and attentive.”

“Don’t you typically have to have a family for a family meeting?” Vanitas muttered darkly.

Xehanort ignored the jab and continued. “Ansem will be arriving today, so he’ll be there as well. There’s been some new development. It’s very important that we all discuss it together.”

“Yeah, fine, but can you get out now? I’m not exactly in a proper state of dress.” Vanitas gestured with the fist firmly gripping the blanket wrapped around his waist.

Xehanort didn’t outwardly react. Instead, he turned sharply on his heel and headed for the exit. “I’ve told you before you’ll catch a chill sleeping like that. Remember, the council chamber in three hours. I don’t want to have to come and get you again.”

~•~

Isa hoped against all hope that this new habit of blacking out and waking up in a strange location wouldn’t become a hobby.

This time he had awoken to the taste of something repulsively bitter being shoved into his mouth. He was tempted to spit it out the moment it touched his tongue, but he was prevented from doing so. All of his limbs felt like lead, leaving him unable to lift his arms and push against the slender fingers keeping whatever was in his mouth firmly in place.

“Don’t you dare spit this out. This fruit contains bismuth subsalicylate and it’s the only thing that’s been keeping you from vomiting up your innards for the past few weeks.” Someone leaning over him scolded him fiercely.

His vision was swimming and his mind was groggy, so the face of whom he assumed to be a doctor was obscured. Isa’s senses had even failed to let him know there was a cool towel laying over his forehead until the person’s other hand removed it to press a palm against him. “Good, your fever has finally gone down. Keep this in your mouth while I get my needle to replace your stitching.”

The voice of this person washed a wave of familiarity over Isa. Except, instead of feeling nostalgic, it instead gave him a prickling sense of annoyance. He remembered being nagged by this pitchy, nasally tone too many times to count in childhood – now again as an adult.

The blurriness of his gaze subsided after several seconds of blinking up at the light fixture dangling from the high ceiling; naturally, Isa chose that moment to rotate his head to the side just enough to watch as an older man shuffled around the room. His eyes widened the moment they took in the sight of blonde hair and a white coat.

“Lord Physician Even?” Isa queried, face scrunching in perplexity. Though his words were somewhat muffled by the medicine still stuffed into his mouth, the Court Physician spun around as soon as he was addressed.                                                                                

“Very good, Isa. It seems you’ve finally regained coherency which means you’re not long from recovery.”  Even crossed back over to where Isa lay on the bed, needle and stitching coil in hand. “Now, do you know where you are as of this moment?” He pulled up a stool and sat down beside Isa to begin his work.

Isa winced at the first signal of pain, but tried to refocus on his thoughts. He noted that this bedroom was different than the last one he’d woken up in, bigger with more lavish décor. It’s possible that he might have been moved to a guest chamber, but for what? He did a mental step by step of what led him up to this point.

He was on the ship with Xigbar and was rendered unconscious. He woke with an injury. He wandered around for a bit in the mansion until he found a secret passage to crawl into. He happened upon a hidden room where the air was stifled with the nauseating mixture of incense, candles, and white leaf tobacco. Then a man came into the room. He was –

“Lea!” Isa cried out at last, attempting to sit up. A hand immediately flew up to his chest to stabilize him and firmly push him back against the mattress. Isa went back down without a struggle. “I’m – I’m in his mansion, aren’t I?”

“Yes, you are.” Even answered and continued working on the stitching. “He sent for me to come and tend to you the moment he knew of your identity. Evidently, his young wards have been up to a bit of mischief and brought you here in secret – not that it’s a problem now, of course. If anything, Lea considers it a miracle and didn’t want to leave your side.”

Young wards? As tempted as Isa was to get him to elaborate further on that, there were more pressing matters that needed explanation.

“Where is Lea now?”

“I had to drag him away from here so that he could attend his meeting. His father is always less than amused when he strays away from his duties.”

Isa sighed. He had not been at all intending to meet Lea until he had had everything settled with King Ansem and his task. Now that Lea already knew it was only going to complicate things and create a distraction. He was already set back significantly due to catching ill.

“Speaking of the king, does he know that I’m here as well?”

“Now, that, I couldn’t tell you.” Even replied. “However, knowing his sources, it's likely he’s found his own ways of finding out by now.”

The implication of the King Ansem essentially being omniscient almost caused Isa to break out in a cold sweat. Simple task, his ass.  

Once the stitching was completed, Even gently pressed a finger against the tender skin to make sure it was secure.

“Well, I believe that’s all that needs tending to today.” Even stood up from the stool and began to put his materials away. “I have to be getting back to the clinic. I’ll have a messenger sent to the castle to inform the prince of your awakening. Until he arrives, I advise you get some rest.”

“Yes, I’ll be sure to. Thank you.”

~•~

Trapped .

That’s exactly what he was. All but pushed into a marriage with a man he didn’t know in a land he had no recollection of arriving to.  Isa had been living with the Lord of Dusky Province for several months now and it seemed at this point there was no chance of getting back home. Especially not in his current condition.

“The physicians tell me you’re about six weeks along now.” The lord entered the room with a saccharine smile on his chiseled face. He was very handsome, Isa couldn’t deny that; however, something about his smile was off-putting. It wasn’t like Lea’s. “Why did you hide this from me, mūnchairudo? Don’t you think I would like to know I am to be a father?”

“I wasn’t sure what to think of the news myself…” Isa muttered without turning away from the mirror. He pressed a palm into his belly. It was still a bit flat. He jumped slightly when he felt the alpha brush up behind him and tower over him.

“This is for you.” He slid something onto Isa’s neck before stepping away. Isa looked down and noticed that it was a silver necklace with a thick chain and a sapphire gem in the shape of a crescent moon attached. “It matches your hair. Isn’t it lovely?”

Lovely …lovely…

“It’s been lovely doing business with you, good sir.” Weeks later, Isa stood around a corner in secret and watched as his lord husband handed a pouch of coins to a rough looking individual. “Here’s your final payment, as promised. Though, I must say, the omega you delivered to me is more trouble than you had advertised. Very strong-willed.”

A cold feeling settled into the pit of Isa’s stomach.

“Told ya he was a fighter. It took a lot for us to get him off the ship to bring him here and it’s gonna take a lot to break him in. Good luck.”

“I won’t be needing it. I think I have him fairly under control by now.”

He heard the sound of movement heading in his direction and he fled. As he ran, he felt the cold feeling in his body twist and morph into something else. Something stronger.

Rage .

“You told me that I was found in debris from a shipwreck and you had no idea how I’d gotten here.” Isa stormed into the bedroom that night and confronted him with fury. “All this time, I thought I survived that raid because the Foretellers spared my life, but now I find out it was because I was kidnapped and sold! You made me think the death of my parents was just a tragedy!”

Rage …hatred…

“Well, that’s because it was, mūnchairudo.” The lord was propped in a chair with one leg crossed over the other as the valet poured more brandy into his glass. He was completely unfazed by Isa’s anger. “An orchestrated tragedy, but it was a tragedy nonetheless. All events of life are caused by man and the decisions we make. Destiny and those precious ‘Foretellers’ your people worship don’t exist.” He plastered a false smile onto his face, sweet enough to distract from the sinister man behind it. “Now be good and have a seat. Your stress can’t be good for the babe.”

The babe…that was no more.

“How pitiful.” Out of the corner of his eye, Isa saw the alpha standing with his back against the wall, arms folded and looking on without empathy. He watched Isa writhe in excruciating pain on the bedroom floor, occasionally coughing up black sludge. “You would rather do this to yourself than have my child?”

Isa lifted himself up as much as he could on shaking limbs. “I’d rather die!”

…Die.

A pause, a scoff, and then the sound of footsteps leaving the room was all that followed. Before the closing of the door, the lord replied in an amused tone, “Very well. Who am I to deny you the pleasure?”

Isa lived, of course. However, the price of life came with a deep feeling emptiness in his heart. The hollow feeling wasn’t because of the loss of a child he never had the chance to know. As horrible as it sounded, he wasn’t sure if he would have had the ability to love something created by the object of his burning ire.

He felt empty because the poison he ingested not only ensured that he would not birth that child, but also no others.

One of his biggest purposes in life, a purpose that had been instilled in him since he was twelve, had been stolen from him. All because he wanted to feed his animosity towards the monster who ripped his life away from him.

…Die.

But he wasn’t done feeding it.

Nights later, he met his lord husband in the bedroom again. The lord looked sickeningly serene as he told Isa that he forgave him for his stupidity while stroking his hair.

Die .

Isa lied to him. He told him that he had forgiven him, too, and they could put it behind them.

Die .

Isa brought wine, encouraged him to drink it as he pushed him to lay back on the bed. He wanted to get him loosened up, slow his reflexes.

Die …die…

A cocky look settled on the lord’s face when Isa moved to straddle his hips. His eyes slid closed as he waited for pleasure that would never come. Isa reached up and removed the necklace from his neck — the necklace that was given to him as a gift.

DIE NOW.

In one swift motion, Isa wrapped the necklace around the lord’s neck and twisted it tightly to cut off his air. His grip didn’t relent, no matter how much the other man thrashed and tried to claw at his face. Isa couldn’t even feel complete satisfaction at the gruesome sight: the man’s face purpling from oxygen deprivation and his eyes bulging out of the sockets. He only felt the emptiness in him grow in replacement of his unbridled hatred as he watched the soon-to-be late lord suffocate below him –

“Ow. Shit, that’s a strong grip.” Someone cursed from outside of his dream. The voice was low and tired, but still effective enough to pierce through his torturous dream haze.

When Isa cracked his eyes open, the room was dark. He could only make out the faintest outline of a figure by the bed. He looked down a little further and saw that he really was gripping the other person’s hand harshly with his own, inadvertently mimicking the actions of himself from the past. Despite this, he could feel alpha pheromones giving off a serene, comforting aura and didn’t even attempt to fight against his body as it was instinctively soothed into relaxing.

Isa slackened his hold with a murmured apology before he asked, “Lea? Is that you?”

“Yeah.” The response sounded relieved, as if he was waiting to hear him speak. “Hold on. Let me get the light.”

He moved away just enough to reach over to light the oil lamp on the stand by the head of the bed. It wasn’t enough light to flood the entire room, but he was able to see Lea much better and take in his appearance. He was supporting the upper half of his weight against a chair he was straddling, staring exhaustedly down at Isa with bags beneath his eyes.

He looked significantly older than the last time they saw each other. The same could be said about himself, of course. However, Isa felt as haggard and unkempt as a homeless pup and his current appearance was equivalent to this feeling, no doubt. Lea’s aging, though, seemed to improve his looks as he no longer possessed such boyish and rounded features. The light of the flames from the lamp danced across Lea’s sharp face and lit up the green of his eyes like gemstones.

For the first time in his life, Isa felt like he was in the presence of an actual prince rather than just a boy he grew up with. Something about this new feeling was disconcerting. Isa was going to tell him that, but stopped himself as he lost his nerve.

Why would he ever voice such a ridiculous thought out loud? Lea would think he was still spiraling from fever.

“Sorry for the inconvenience,” Isa muttered instead. He used his elbows to push himself up on the bed until he was leaning against the headboard. “I incurred quite a debt for your hospitality and am more than willing to rep–”

“Stop that.” Isa tensed at the sharpness of the tone immediately cutting into his attempt at conversation.

“Stop what?”

“You fucking know what.” Lea tired expression had morphed into an annoyed glower and he straightened himself up in the chair. “You’re doing that thing where you act like ‘the perfect man of class’ when you’re either really uncomfortable or trying get on someone’s good side. I know you wouldn’t try hard to win my favor of all people, so it’s got to be the first one.”

Isa ducked his head to stare down at his fists gripping the blankets. What Lea had said wasn’t exactly untrue; however, the tone he took wasn’t helpful. He was talking to him like a child. “I was trying not to make this awkward…”

“You’re making it awkward anyway by not talking like a normal human being.”

“Well, what would you have me do, Lea?” Raising his voice, he picked his head back up to settle his own glare onto Lea. “Pick up where we left off? Tell jokes and pretend like nothing has happened? Sorry, not everyone can be as charismatic as you under unfavorable circumstances.”

“Who said anything about pretending? Fuck, Isa, I just—” Lea cut off his own sentence with an aggravated huff. “I guess – I don’t know. I was hoping you would at least explain this.”

Lea reached into his vest and produced the letter that Isa had given to him. It was crinkled and creased from spending so much time shoved into pockets.

“You wrote this for me.”

“I did,” Isa said. “That should have been made clear when I wrote your name on it and gave it to you.”

“You can’t tell jokes, but you have no problem being a smartass, huh?” A slight smile tugged on Lea’s lips for a split second before he turned serious again. “I haven’t read it yet because I wanted to ask you about it first.”

“As I said before, I had always planned to write to you. I was keeping my promise.”

“Right, duh.” Lea averted his gaze and rubbed the back of his head. Isa noted that he, too, still had old habits of discomfort. “I guess I didn’t think that promise was still pending because…well, you know.”

“I had even started on a letter the day we disembarked to sail to Corona. It wasn’t as lengthy as that one because I never got to finish it when—” Isa’s voice caught in his throat and the indifference of his usual mien slipped as reality sank in for the first time since the incident. “When our ship was...”

All this time, he had forced himself not to think about any of it. The thought of how his parents were so brutally murdered for the gain of a corrupt noble and idiots who loved on conflict disgusted him. He refused to allow his captors, his tormentors, the pleasure of watching him grieve. Even now, Isa again fisted his hands into the unfamiliar sheets as he angrily tried to blink away the tears burning at the corners of his eyes.

Why did they even have to die? Maybe destiny was punishing Isa for being a stubborn youth and going against his set path, but his parents had done nothing wrong.

“We were attacked by pro-war activists from the Empire. Those bastards.” He hissed between stilted breaths. “One could only assume they saw the Paxian symbol on our vessel and decided to attack us. Perhaps to incite retaliation.”

“Well, it worked. The sad part is that they weren’t even proper Empirical soldiers, just a bunch of crazies with ships and weapons. Our navy took them down within a month.” Lea told him, and he wasn’t surprised. He had concluded for himself a long time ago that they were, as Lea put it, just ‘a bunch of crazies’.

Lea continued, “We were also told there weren’t any survivors. I guess they never found out you got away. It’s like a miracle.”

With the old wound now fresh again, Isa had to quickly bit his tongue before he could heatedly retort that he didn’t get away from anything. Though he himself knew the truth of his own fate shortly after the raid, it would do him absolutely no good to tell Lea or anyone else about it. It would only invite more questions that would eventually lead to his connection to Xehanort.

“Yes. A miracle, indeed.” He replied, sharply.

Lea, unaware of the reasoning behind such a clipped response, slowly slid his hand into Isa’s again. “Hey, Isa, listen. You’re alright now. I won’t ever let you out of my sight again, okay?”

“That wasn’t exactly something I was worried about, Lea.”

“Good, because I mean it.” Lea rubbed a thumb over Isa’s wrist. “See? You actually opened up to me a little bit. That wasn’t so hard, was it?”

Isa could sense the conversation was finally starting to move to a lighter atmosphere on Lea’s end. Even though Isa still hadn’t recovered enough emotionally, he knew answering with a snarky quip would ruin bring them back to square one.

He chose to humor Lea. “I suppose not. Ironically, though, I’d say it’s easier to get more expression from me when I write my words. Hence, that letter.” He gestured to the pages still folded in Lea’s grasp.

“Then I guess I better get reading – eventually,” he said, placing the letter back into his vest. “Now, I’m too busy. Father’s been killing me with paperwork and council meetings lately.”

“How unfair. Why he doesn’t just give that those tasks to his heir? Oh wait.”

Lea scoffed and pressed his palm to Isa’s forehead, easing him back down into the pillows. “Get some more rest. Geez, you’re somehow mouthier than the kids I live with. Can’t wait for you three to meet each other.”

“Oh, right. Even mentioned that you have ‘young wards’ now. I see that your obsession with fostering strays is still intact after all these years.”

“They’re good kids. You’re going to love them, I swear.”  Lea paused for a moment before reaching out to squeeze Isa’s hand again. “I’m…glad you’re home, Isa. I really did miss you.”

“Yes. Me too.”

Lea nodded once and stood up from the chair with a stretch. After he blew out oil lamp, he spared one final glance at Isa – who had already dozed off again – before closing the door and taking a long walk back to his own bed chambers.

[mastrechef]

This idea has been stewing in my mind for a while after a discussion my sister and I had about some of the more outrageous Kingdom Hearts theories. I finally decided to just go ahead and write it. I’m still fleshing things out as I’m currently rereading Otherland by Tad Williams, which this idea borrows heavily from (if you’ve never read it, I highly recommend it). I figured if I was going to take the time to write it, I might as well do it justice.

The moon shone brightly as he framed it with his fingers. It was nostalgic standing amongst the towering buildings and the myriad of glittering lights reflecting off rain drenched metal. Familiar streets snaked off in every direction in an intricate web, desolate and empty when in his memory they were always packed with life, no matter the time. This was a place he had once considered home. That was a lifetime ago. More than a lifetime it seemed some days.

"A far-off memory that’s like a scattered dream, isn’t that right?" he said to himself.

He shaped his hands into a heart as he held them up against the brilliant moon. The thing that started it all and the end goal everyone was charging towards. Kingdom Hearts.

Described as the collective heart of all worlds and all people, it was coveted by those who sought greatness. There were so many stories built around it, tales of immense power and wisdom granted to any who managed to claim it. Yet did anyone truly understand what that entailed?

He doubted it. The truth of Kingdom Hearts was such an elusive thing, something that defied imagination. As of yet no one had come close to learning that truth, nor to obtaining the true Kingdom Hearts.

From behind him, he could just make out the sound of a dark corridor opening over the gusting wind. Turning to look, a familiar figure stepped out to join him on the rooftop.

“So you finally decided to show your face again.”

“Luxu,” he exclaimed, dramatically clutching at his chest as though in pain. “I’m heartbroken you aren’t happier to see me.”

“As if!” scoffed his most faithful apprentice. “Maybe I would have been if you’d shown up in time for the reunion. Man, Aced is as hot-headed as ever and the others aren’t much better.”

The Master just smiled privately to himself. Luxu could deflect all he wanted, but they both knew his indifference to be false. There was no hiding the relieved glint in his eyes and the slight softening of his expression. For all that he acted rather laid back these days, it was different when he felt it in truth. He had been waiting a long time for this moment.

The Master was absolutely tickled that someone actually missed him.

Time was such a nebulous concept to someone like him, who drifted seamlessly between past, present, and future. He had known his students long before he ever met them and even after all this time it felt as though it was only yesterday that they had parted ways. Yet for them, it had been far longer. He wondered how the others would react to finally seeing him again.

“How'd the kid get here of all places?”

Luxu’s question broke him from his musing. He tucked his hands behind his back as he explained. “His little tumble down the rabbit hole from misusing the power of waking was interrupted. Someone was waiting for him and stepped in to give him a hand.”

“Someone from the outside?”

“Bingo! You're right on the money. Someone sent a proxy here with only the instructions to 'save Sora.'”

“Ha! Good luck with that. The kid’s pretty determined to do himself in.”

“I’m not too concerned,” he said with nonchalance. “But better to keep an eye out. Can’t have anyone getting impatient and moving before the time is right.”

…

Sora had been wandering for some time, but he couldn’t make heads or tails of the twisting streets of this strange city. No matter which way he went, he inevitably ended up back where he started in front of the building emblazoned with “104” in glowing red lights. He had woken up here after his rather disheartening defeat at the hands of Yozora. Wherever here was, it was the same place that they had fought in, although Sora had caught only the barest glimpse during the fight.

Since coming to in this lifeless city that was like a cold facsimile of San Fransokyo, Sora had encountered Yozora no less than three times. Each time Yozora has no recollection of their previous interactions, and each time they fought. Sora had not yet been able to beat him. It made him think of Riku, and of a childhood spent chasing after his best friend, who was always faster, always stronger.

Letting out a gusty sigh, he found a nearby park bench and sprawled across it, tilting his head back to gaze up into the unfamiliar night sky. “I wonder how they’re doing… Riku, Kairi, and the others…”

He grimaced as a pulse of not-quite-pain pulsed through his chest. Even before the final clash with Xehanort, he’d been feeling a phantom ache in his heart that had only worsened as he used the power of waking to save everyone from that horrible first confrontation with the Xehanort-possessed Terra. Sora may not be the smartest, but he was more perceptive than most people gave him credit for, at least when it came to matters of the heart, so he suspected that he knew the cause.

There were few things in his life that Sora had regrets about, but helping someone in need would never be one. Even if it was to his detriment. Ventus had needed a place to heal and Sora had happily offered his assistance. Of course, he didn’t actually remember that, but didn’t make the sentiment any less truthful. However, ever since waking Ventus, he’d had this lingering feeling of being hollowed out, like a piece of his own heart had broken off when Ventus left.

Sora would have been more surprised if he hadn’t felt any different. After all, Ventus had been with him for more than ten years.

By the end of the final battle he could feel the fragility of his heart and realized the truth in the younger Xehanort’s warnings. He really had overstepped his limits. The decision to go after Kairi was an easy one, if a little selfish. If he was already past the point of no return, the least he could do was make sure everyone else was safe first.

Sora hoped that Riku and Kairi would forgive him and that they didn’t blame themselves for his disappearance.

Echoing footsteps startled him into awareness. It seemed Yozora was back, since no one else ever showed up here. Getting to his feet, Sora turned to meet those eerie heterochromatic eyes. “Hello again, Yozora.”

“You know me?” Yozora asked, just as every time before. “Who are you?”

“I’m Sora, remember? We’ve met before.” He didn’t really know why he kept trying. So far, nothing has worked to spark any recognition.

“Sora? You’re Sora?” That same steely-eyed look of determination returned, that same look he always got as soon as he learned Sora’s name. Sora mentally prepared himself to fight once more, tuning out the rest of the repeated conversation.

Yozora drew his weapons and Sora made one last plea to resolve things peacefully, but the other was not deterred. Resigned, Sora summoned his keyblade.

“Time to end this.”

Having seen it multiple times now, Sora was ready for the lasers and dodged out of the way, regretful that he was out of practice with barrier magic. It would really be helpful right now. He kept bobbing and weaving, waiting for the slightest break in the relentless assault. There! With a yell, he rushed Yozora, putting the full force of his formidable strength into his swing. Yozora was knocked back, but it didn’t faze him for long. His opponent started teleporting, trying to catch him off guard, throwing around more lasers and appearing out of nowhere to engage him directly. Sora did his best to dodge and deflect as many attacks as he could, but Yozora was fast—faster than anyone he’d fought before.

He stumbled as a beam of energy grazed his side in a flash of white hot agony. Already, he felt fatigued and he hadn’t even been fighting for more than a few minutes. Gritting his teeth through the pain, Sora waited for another opening and charged Yozora again, his hits striking true.

It wasn’t enough. Yozora’s aggression only heightened, as did the intensity of his attacks. Everything became a blur. Between the pain and the exhaustion, Sora simply couldn’t keep up. For the fifth time, Yozora struck him down.

“Not again,” he groaned weakly. How was this guy so strong?

“Sorry, but I don’t lose.”

Sora was sick of this pattern. Nothing ever changed. Was this all just a dream he couldn’t wake up from? Is any of this for real or not? He didn’t know. None of this... makes sense to me. His thoughts trailed off as he once again succumbed to the encroaching darkness.

Some random side notes: I’m still on the fence about whether or not the Master of Masters is actually a villain or more of a Dumbledore-esk character, but he’s definitely going to come off as more of a villain in this.

As for Sora, I’m going to be playing around with his character a little bit. There’s nothing necessarily wrong with having a character who doesn’t change, but I still found it vaguely annoying that in KHIII he still acted like the same 14yo kid he was is KHI.

I do plan to bring Vanitas into this because I think he’s interesting and the way his fight in KHIII ended felt kind of unresolved.

Also, it seems that in cannon very little time passes between KHII and KHIII, which I find a little strange, so I may fudge the timeline a bit, though it’s not very explicit.

I think I’ll try to keep up with this in between my other writing. And maybe work on some more FFXV stuff. Maybe. Depends on if I have any actually good ideas.

[nadziejastar]

Terra: I just-- When I really need you, Ven, I know you'll be there.

Ven: Well, why wouldn't I? You're my friend.

Terra: Yeah. You're right. Thanks, Ven.

Yeah, Terra’s reunion certainly fared a lot better than Lea and Isa’s. It wasn’t perfect, but it wasn’t a travesty, lol. One of my sisters said it was her favorite part, and we both got a bit teary. She never liked Terra that much, but changed her mind with his reunion scene. Personally, I loved Terra the moment I saw him escort Cinderella to the ball and he bowed to her, like a gentleman. When BBS was first announced, I didn’t expect to like Terra that much. I thought he was going to be very serious and stiff. But I found him so adorable. Like when he called Merlin “Your Elderness”. That was so cute. I mean, he was trying to be respectful.

I thought it was kinda silly that Terranort was actually fighting with those chains, like they were just a physical weapon. I’m pretty sure those chains were supposed to be metaphysical “chains of memory”, lol. Sora may not have had a place in that fight, and we didn’t get to see Ventus use the power of waking, but at least all of the most important themes were kept intact. It didn’t build suspense for something and then totally change directions at the last minute, like with Lea. And Terra actually had a moment of glory to save his best friends.

Terra: There's darkness within me... So what does that matter? I know I'm strong enough to hold it back.

Terra’s Keyblade was called “Ends of the Earth”. He wanted to return to the land he battled Xehanort to set things right. He’d go to any lengths for his friends. Terra was earth-based. His Heartless was the Guardian. The main theme of Terra as a Guardian of Light was “strength”. He was trying to hold back the darkness in him by getting stronger physically. 

Terra: I'm not afraid of what the darkness holds now. Even if you do wrest control of my heart from me--even if you cast me into the deepest, darkest abyss--you'll never sway me from the one cause that pushes me to keep on fighting. Whatever the cost, I'm ready to pay it.

Each Disney world he went to contributed to this theme. Once he started to listen to his heart, he realized that he was gaining power at the expense of his friendships. That was actually causing his heart to become weaker, and fueling his darkness. 

Terra: Funny... This whole time I've been telling myself I want to be stronger, more independent... But the second I let my heart do the talking... I find out how little I really know myself. And how much I miss them.

It was Ven reminding him of his promise that awakened Terra’s heart at the Keyblade Graveyard. I think it was important that Ventus was the one to save Terra because it was a role reversal. 

Terra: Relax, Ven. We're here and we're gonna take care of you.

Ven: I may have to fight Vanitas after all. If I do, guys... I want you to--

Terra: The three of us can never be torn apart, all right? I'll always find a way.

Terra never wanted to admit it, but he needed to feel taken care of too. I don’t talk about this enough, but I truly love Terra, and not being able to see the story of how he became an apprentice really disappointed me. I think that since Terra was the main personality at the beginning, it affected Ansem the Wise’s decision to try and restore his memory. Terra would have been completely sincere and genuine, wanting to remember his past. Then the Xehanort side woke up. It’s not surprising why Ansem felt such betrayal. I can easily imagine him becoming very close to Terra, because he’s so sincere and innocent. Then he changed into a completely different person. I really wish we could have seen that. 

Terra: Strength for what?

Riku: To protect the things that matter. You know, like my friends.

Ansem/Terra was a wasted opportunity. So was Riku/Terra. Riku helped Terra see that strength is about protecting those you love. He was the one who gave Riku his Keyblade. They had a very important relationship. Unfortunately, the relationship between Terra and Riku also got completely ignored in KH3. It was a huge disappointment for me, because that was actually one of the things I was excited about the most. I wasn’t even quite sure if Riku was aware that the missing Keyblade wielder they were looking for was the same guy who gave him the Keybalde as a kid. You think he would have told Mickey that he met Terra, but nope. They didn’t have time for Riku and Terra to exchange a single word. God, I was so pissed.

Terra: Yep, hard to believe there are so many worlds out there besides our own. The light is their hearts, and it's shining down on us like a million lanterns.

Ven: What? I don't get it.

Terra: In other words, they're just like you, Ven.

But at the very least, the scene of Terra’s reunion with his friends seemed to be left mostly intact from how it was originally envisioned. TAV came full circle. They spent the last night together under the light of the stars, which is what their wayfinders were shaped like. Terra’s friends were always lighting his way back, just like the stars. His reunion was one of the highlights of KH3 for me. There was a feeling of sincerity there that was totally absent from Lea and Isa’s awful reunion. 

Xehanort: Oh? So that's how it is, is it? Someone else has set foot in your heart. Eraqus, you sly fox...

I know a lot of people were put off by Eraqus telling Terra to take care of Ventus and Aqua. I understand why. But I feel like we were probably supposed to get a lot more development to Eraqus being inside Terra’s heart. Eraqus and Terra’s final scene just depressed the shit out of me because the last scene they had together was Terra helping Xehanort kill him. I still got the feeling that Terra hadn’t forgiven himself and his relationship with Eraqus was damaged. He acted more happy to see Xehanort than Terra, so it made me sad.

Lingering Will: That’s it. Your power. That’s what I felt within you. The power that connects to Aqua. And to Ven’s heart.

Terra: Where am I...?

Naminé: In your memories. Traces of you were lost, so I found you through memories belonging to those you’ve met in the past.

Terra: Who are you?

Naminé: I’m Naminé. It’s nice to meet you. I’m a witch who can control people’s memories.

Terra: A witch?

Naminé: Right now, you’re bound to two memories. One belongs to an unspeakable darkness---

I was also a little confused by Terra telling Ventus that he “found him”. I didn’t remember Ven ever specifically promising Terra that he’d find him. Sadly, I get the feeling that this promise was something we were supposed to see in BBSV2. Terra was very emotional when he said this. When Ven said he kept his promise, I also think that was referring to this other promise. And Ven was crying, too. 

Terra: ...Master Xehanort.

Naminé: Your heart will soon encounter a familiar light. You must make sure she isn’t lost to the darkness. You must guide her.

Terra: Her? You mean Aqua? I’m not sure what I can do to help, not like this.

Naminé: You must fight, Terra, like the others. You mustn’t let your heart melt into darkness; follow your true memories, and you’ll reach the light. She’s headed there too---to the same place. You must believe in your promise, just as she continues to believe in you.

Terra: Aqua, Ven. One day I’ll---I’ve never forgotten our promise. Never. I will keep fighting.

I think it must have been a promise made when Terra was already lost in darkness, unlike the original one in Radiant Garden. I feel like there was supposed to be a more fleshed out subplot with the Lingering Will and Terra being able to communicate with both Aqua and Ven’s hearts, which is why Nomura felt compelled to show off this one scene of dialogue at an orchestra of all places. He originally said BBSV2 would tell the story of not just Aqua, but all three. And that lack of build up did make the reunion less impactful than it should have been.

[nonsensical-rants]

So, I 100%ed the Kingdom Hearts Franchise.

Alright. This might be a long take, just saying that now. But I know exactly where to start. This franchise. Is not as confusing as the entirety of the internet would like you to believe. It's mostly due to bad writing decisions here and there. I mean, yeah if you wanna have every single detail and definition ingrained into your brain. Then of course it can get complicated, but what franchise lasting as long as Kingdom Hearts isn't annoyingly convoluted? I can't think of one.

So my thoughts about  the series is that they're pretty good! Both as a story and as games, with some very big exceptions. I wanna say that you should definitely not try to 100% all of these games in chronological order in rapid succession. It will drain you. I can confirm this beyond a shadow of a doubt. After I beat KH2 it really start to hit me. Chain of Memories was fine, if not a bit tedious to get all the cards and Riku to level 100. But other than that I more than enjoyed my time with the game.

Heartless are born from the darkness in peoples hearts. Nobodies are created from the husk of a body left behind in the creation of a Heartless. While Unversed are born from supreme negative emotions that live inside us all. The stronger these feelings are/the person is, the stronger the heartless/unversed and nobody. Especially strong people can keep their identity when transformed into Nobodies. Thus explaining Organization 13. Only the keyblade can truly defeat these creatures. What's so hard about describing that to someone? It isn't that far fetched in terms of the fantasy genre.

Though personally. I have an enormous hatred from Kingdom Hearts Dream Drop Distance. Despite trying to keep an open mind about any and all forms of media I come across, I cannot ever get behind this title in the series because it is just too much and strays too far from what i consider to be "Kingdom Hearts". The gameplay was not fun for me personally, the story was iffy at best in comparison to the others and it really felt like the biggest amount of padding. If you have to do that to become a Keyblade Master, I think i'd rather stay as a rouge agent like Sora did for 99% of the series.

The dream eater system was probably the biggest factor here as for 100% completion you have to get every single dream eater, and every single skill that they can give you which means leveling a lot of them up to the point where they have points to buy said skills. Which takes forever. And then there's the Dream Eater tournaments, which I would have never gotten past without cheap strategies I found online. Usually I get everybody to max potential in these games and give the best items and accessories all around. But as soon as I got the platinum I ejected the disk and took a break. I felt like I needed it.

Alright, putting that behind us. The difference in fighting styles from game to game can get a bit jarring but in the PS4 re-releases it can usually be adjusted too in about half an hour to an hour's worth of gameplay. Chain of Memories was fun, but tedious like I mentioned. And Birth By Sleep was actually a fresh of breath air (until you get to the secret boss fights that is...) If it wasn't for my need to see that 100% bar next to the game title I would classify these games as something everybody should try out and enjoy. They are fantastic experiences. So lets go in order for a bit.

KH1 is a classic story, going through Disney worlds with a fine mix of Final Fantasy. Meeting the princesses and seeing they are "Princesses of Heart" that have strength beyond muscles. Able to use the power of Light and what not. There's a few hiccups here and there (like Cloud and Sephiroth not acting like how they are in FF7 but everyone's already mentioned that.) But aside from that and the bad platforming, its a genuinely fun game to 100% and I'd highly recommend it. Maybe even try to get cosmic arts for everyone so you can have 16-19 MP bars. It gets silly.

Chain of Memories i've already mentioned a lot so far. So I don't think I need to go that in depth. Fun to go through but wouldn't recommend 100%ing it because it takes far to long. The story is actually pretty decent and isn't that complicated. Sora and the gang lose their memories of KH1 because of the magic witch Namine, while we get our first look at Organization 13.

KH2. The golden child. Still played by many to this day and its obvious to see why. The game play is crisp and fantastic as I remember it from my youth. Traveling to Disney worlds again (and not card versions of them that have no people except for cut scenes, like CoM) and having a constant looming threat over your head while you try to have fun on your journey. Its great. I have yet to do a level 1 critical mode (as that's not required thankfully) but I did thoroughly enjoy my regular Critical play though. Story still isn't that bad yet. Organization 13 comes in full force, trying to get a new version of "Kingdom Hearts" so they can restore their humanity. I'd highly recommend 100%ing this one as well. Would also recommend maxing out your stats and putting on multiple Full Bloom+'s and Shadow Archieve+'s for the fun of it.

Birth By Sleep. Still not that bad honestly. It comes at a weird time though, and the story telling kind of requires you to have some outsider knowledge so that you're not thrown for a loop the entire time. So it feels weird to go back in the past, but also necessary for the story as a whole. Fun game to play minus the hundreds of mini games you need to do for all three main characters. If it wasn't for that I would recommend playing this game to completion. It's hard to reach higher levels though and as everyone's who played the game knows. Terra sucks at End Game compared to Aqua and Ven. I beat the Secret bosses by sheer luck and I would not go back for them. You do get to learn the origins of what makes most of the future events play out though and you even get to see younger versions of Organization 13. Back when they weren't evil!

Nothing eventful happens in Re:Coded.

Dream Drop Distance... Already talked about it. Let's move on before i'm forced to remember dream eaters and their annoyingly high pitched theme song.

Birth By Sleep 0.2: A Fragmentary Passage. Really good demo for KH3 in all honestly. I had a fun time with it and seeing Aqua's pain and journey through the realm of darkness for a whole 10 years was interesting.

And now we're at Kh3. The big game we waited so long for. And its... Alright. Nothing really spectacular. The graphics are certainly splendid and gameplay feels great! If not a bit too floaty. Thats a problem for some people, especially those who were avid fans of KH2. But I had no problem with it. I have yet to play it on critical but i've heard it makes things far more entertaining. As for story, its also alright. Not the grand ending I was expecting but it was really fun all things considered. Just another ride through more modern Disney worlds. But no Final Fantasy! I get that they feel KH can stand on its own legs now but you can't take out half the formula that people fell in love with originally. Then there's no battle arena or replayable boss fights. Doesn't have to be the Real Orginization 13. Just any replayable fights with end game gear would be enough.

As for my real problem with the games. Is the treatement of the third member of the original trio. Kairi. Oh, how this character has divided a good portion of the fan base just by existing. It feels like all the time that she is just a damsel for Sora/Riku to save and rescue. In the first game, thats fine. Whatever. She was unconcious the whole time and had her heart within Sora. Chain of Memories was a game about Sora losing his memories and Riku overcoming his darkness. Thats also fine. But in KH2. Really? She gets a keyblade and can't even handle a group of shadows? The lowest level of heartless? It's embarrassing. She's supposed to be a Princess of Heart. What's that even mean anymore? It doesn't even seem relevant.

KH2 should've been her moment to become a party member just like Riku did. I dont care that it means you could possibly not have Donald or Goofy. KH2 felt the most like the penultimate ending to the series than Kh3 did in my opinon. Having the choice between your KH1 buddies (Sora, Donald and Goofy) or the Island Trio (Sora, Riku and Kairi) would have added excellent variety and much needed development for Kairi as a person rather than leaving her as a one dimensional damsel in distress who has a Nobody with more internal conflict and character motivation. Moving past that... BBS is a prequel so nothing for the original trio except for meeting Aqua/Ven/Terra. And we come back to the dreaded DDD again.

If my vision for Kairi in KH2 couldn't have become a reality. Then why wasn't DDD Kairi's game? The set up was perfect. The heroes of light need to train to overcome almost double the amount of darkness agents. Kairi (and Axel) are practically beginners at wielding a Keyblade. It should've been their time to shine and get some love while occasionally helping Sora and Riku in their Mark of Mastery exam. Why did it have to be something you do alone? Well actually you're not alone you have the stupid Dream Eaters. Regardless it could have been the newbies learning how to get to Kh2 Sora's level while Sora goes beyond his limits.

As for KH3, it's just awful. Kairi's treatment is awful and everyone knows it. She said she was gonna help but hit one whole heartless in the finale. Better than KH2 i suppose. And as for the argument of her being "too weak" to try anything agaisnt Xemans. Really? She couldn't even like. Step on his foot? Pull agaisnt his grip or switch which hand the blade is in? Since the keyblade can teleport to your hands when you need it. I don't expect her to randomly become a Keyblade Master, but. I think we all would've prefer if she just did ANYTHING over what actually happened. It's sad. I hope KH4 will give Kairi the proper treatment and character development she deserves. But for all we know it might be another Sora/Riku dual protagonist game like CoM or DDD. What do you think?

[doubleberry-crunch]

Regrets

I think this took place probably a few days after Reunion but its a bit hazy.

As his breathing slowly returned to normal, Ventus felt his heart starting to ache. Aqua looked up at him, her face creased with worry as she saw his face contort with sadness.

“Ven? Hey, what’s the matter?”

Before he could even utter a word, he dissolved into gross sobbing. Aqua quickly wrapped her arms around him, holding him close to her as he buried his face into her shoulder.

“This…everything. I don’t deserve to be here with you like this. Not anymore…”

“Oh Ven…” she soothed, petting his hair, “I’ve told you before you don’t need to feel like that.”

“I was s-so horrible to y-you…”

She sighed, sitting up a little, “Hey, look at me.”

He slowly lifted his head, his eyes slightly puffy. She smiled at him.

“Ven, if I didn’t want to be with you, I wouldn’t have let you back into my life. Now, I know that’s going to take some getting used to, but-”

“But I didn’t earn it…I haven’t changed at all!”

“But you’re working on it. You’re trying, and I see that you are. That’s enough for me, alright?”

“You sure?”

She nodded, “I love you so much. I want to be here with you so that you don’t need to fear the darkness."

“It’s not the darkness I fear…it’s him. It’s Vanitas; myself.”

“Sometimes that can be even more terrifying. Knowing we have darkness inside. But Ventus, he’s a part of you. That means he must have light in him too.”

“But…he…” Ventus thought back to the times he attacked him in his heart and he looked away.

“What? What did he do?”

“He told me that…our separation caused him great pain. And that rejoining with me will somehow make it better. But…”

“But you’re worried otherwise?”

“I’m worried that if I do, that if I accept those parts of me that…you or anyone else won’t like the person I become.”

She chuckled a little and Ventus glared slightly.

“Sorry, bad timing, I know,” She sighed and kissed him on the forehead, “Ven, I can’t not like the person you’d become, because you’re already the person I love. But letting yourself stay fractured it’s…hurting you more than its helping.”

“In what ways?”

“You’re so angry and scared now, all because you’re worried what other people will think of you. And that’s no way to live.”

“It is if you don’t like who you are as a person…”

Her breath caught a little, “Ven…”

“How can I like some part of me that likes to hurt people? Someone who makes me doubt myself and what I do?” he choked out, “How, Aqua?! How do I go about loving something that’s so horrible?”

She stared at him, her eyes distant in thought. She blinked once before replying. “I think that’s something…you’ll have to work out in your heart. I’m sure Master Riku and Terra both know what it’s like to accept parts of themselves they don’t like. You could always ask them…”

Ven noticed her distant gaze and frowned, “What about you?”

“Heh…me? Well I…” she paused, her lips trembling, “I never thought my heart was strong enough to become a Master. And when I did…something felt wrong. Like I had cheated, you know? But I…I’ve come to terms with it. For the most part, anyway.”

“But…your heart is strong. You lasted over a decade in the Realm of Darkness on your own.”

“Barely!” She snapped, making him flinch.

“Aqua…”

She pulled away from him, wrapping her arms around herself, “I chased phantoms…hoping they would lead me to the light. Hoping they were you two, but…” she paused again, “I struggled for so long to survive that I…I just…”

Ventus curled up next to her, holding her close. Aqua focused on bringing her breathing back down to a calm pace before she spoke again.

“Despite what weaknesses I may have seen in myself, I never let it stop me. Ventus, that’s all I’m asking of you. Please…don’t be afraid of your darkness. Being afraid of it only makes it stronger.”

“But…how do I stop being afraid?”

“By pushing forward, regardless. Just like I’m doing with you.”

He blinked, confused.

“I was scared to come back to you, Ven; I won’t lie. But I loved you far too much to see you suffer through this alone. So, I might have been scared, but I knew we needed one another more. So I came back.”

“So…you think I should just accept him…even though I’m scared to?”

“In your own time, but yes. Loving who you are, warts and all, is the best thing you can do.”

“If you say so…”

She sighed, closing her eyes, “Please trust me on this, alright?”

“I’ll try to, Aqua…”

She smiled, pushing his bangs off his face, “I love you, Ven.”

“I love you too.”

Ventus pulled her into a kiss, sighing as their tongues brushed one another before the broke away.  Aqua curled into his chest and quickly fell asleep a few moments later. Ventus, found it much more difficult. He didn’t know how long he laid there holding her, listening to her soft breathing, but when he did finally start to fall out, the first crest of morning sun was starting to shine in through the windows. He sighed, wondering if he could ever accept Vanitas.

Maybe it would be easier if she accepted him too…

He let that thought lull him into slumber as the dark room turned a dusty yellow.

[sylvermyth]

Matters of Pride - Ch 8

*sidles in*  IT'S BEEN 84 YEARS I AM SORRY AHHHH SCHOOL IS KILLING ME.

Thank you for your patience for this chapter.  If I get lots of comments (even just "!!!" or "I loved it!" or whatever) then I might be motivated to make time to work on it, yeah?  Also, reblogs save lives.   Find the previous chapters on AO3 or ON MY FIC DIRECTORY.  Cheers.

Matters of Pride Chapter 8: Ansem’s Journal

I dreamt last night.

I dreamt of the Komainu I am following. He told me he knows that I am following them, that he senses my nature. 'What do you mean by that?' I asked. He said, 'You're awakening as a souhei.'

That is, of course, a fancy on my own part. I can only dream of wielding the power that I am certain they possess. I, too, would like to make my mark on the world.

—

It was no dream, after all. I woke in the dead of night to see a huge lion standing over me. His eyes were the color of clear skies. It is not the one I have been following; this one is younger. I can feel it, somehow, like his mind is touching my own. Is this what it is to be souhei? How does one bond with a Komainu? Is it as a melding of the minds?

He says he felt me reaching out, searching. He says he has been waiting for a souhei to unlock his strength.

But how do I do it?

—

He tells me there is no longer any need to trail the pair I'd been following, my new companion.

I disagree, although I have relented for the moment. There is no doubt that those two can sense, if not me, then him.

Instead, I have focused all of my attentions on him. It is a strange ability, to touch the heart of another—I am certain it is the heart, and not the mind, less the intricate layers of thought and knowledge…it's something more primal. My companion's heart remains unguarded, eager to find a new kind of strength. It is not what I expected. The other Komainu I've encountered—studied from afar—have served some altruistic goal, traveling to where evil has settled, to exorcise it. My companion's heart is more occupied with a selfish hunger for power—to what end, I am unsure, though, I expect, so is he.

I know my own goals. I want to change the world. If I must harness this selfish lion's power for my own, then so be it.

—

Much has happened.

As souhei and Komainu, my companion and I are able to communicate through dreams. It is intimate, in a way, to invade the privacy of one's sleeping conscious, and neither of us cares for the intimacy, but it is through this that we found the doors. Perhaps it is a metaphor in our unconscious minds, and not truly doors that we found, but we opened them. And once they were open…

My senses are heightened, and often, if I concentrate, I can experience the things my companion experiences—the hunt of an animal, the sights and smells, the feeling of the life leaving it. It's heady.

More, knowledge that I have no memory of gaining comes to me. How to weave spells, for example—spells! Fire, thunder, ice, all follow my will! My companion, as well, has similar abilities, those that he can wield in a human form, and those he can harness as a lion.

He grew bold, with this new power.

He tried to ravage a small village we passed.

I would not have it. It was wrong, it was not the mark I wish to leave on the world.

I discovered that, not only can I experience his experiences—I can also influence them.

It was a contest of wills, but I won. He is weak, after all.

He follows only my will, now.

His eyes no longer reflect a cloudless sky.

—

The amber eyes of my companion haunt my dreams now.

—

It will be easier to achieve my goals if I have numbers. There are many Komainu, and few souhei. I have had little trouble recruiting more to my cause.

I will make my mark on the world. I will make it better.

—

They all have yellow eyes now.

—

Two hearts lay at my feet, still warm, only recently stilled. Only recently torn from their owners' chests. I can feel the blood on my hands, can practically taste it, though it was not I who took it.

I was wrong. The souhei would not accept my vision of the world.

The Komainu went in a rage at his companion's death. He was strong—just as his companion had been—and I could not bring him to heel. His heart…it was still bonded with his dead companion. It would not be swayed.

Is this the strength of a true bond? Have I made a mistake?

No.

No, it is they who are mistaken.

Can't they see that I only want it to be better?

They will see. They will see when I remake this world.

—

Sora had felt the tension growing in Riku as they read the string of journal entries together; now his eyes were slitted, the rage coming off of him almost tangible. He was silent, but the stiff shoulders, the balled fists, said it all. His coffee sat, forgotten, on the counter.

It was clear, even without reading further, that Ansem had been like Xehanort. That, in fact, he had gotten further than Xehanort had.

As far as they knew.

"Riku," Sora murmured. He hoped it was placating. "Whatever happened, it's in the past. This Ansem—"

"He killed them," Riku bit out. He jabbed a finger at the journal entry. "My kind. Dead. One of you, dead."

Sora frowned down at it, the silence between them sharp, biting.

"Xehanort—he'll do this, too." Riku's lips were still turned up in a snarl, but there was an undercurrent of something else.

Worry, fear, maybe. It wasn't just his own life—his own will—on the line, but Terra's, as well.

Maybe even Sora's. It worried him, too, a little, but he couldn't imagine abandoning Riku at this stage. It wasn't the kind of person he was.

Sora caught Riku's eyes with his own. "No. We'll stop him. Someone must've stopped Ansem, right? We'll be the ones to stop Xehanort, before he gets any further." It was hard, holding Riku's gaze, but Sora didn't waver. "We'll do it, I promise."

Riku pursed his lips. "What makes you so sure?"

Sora raised his eyebrows. "Because, Riku. You've already won, once."

Riku's eyebrows were still drawn down, mouth tight.

"We'll be stronger together," Sora nodded as he said it, conviction evident in his voice. Sora put a hand to his chin, thoughtful. "Riku…" He bent and turned the journal back a few pages, pointing at another entry. "This here. He said he could experience the same things as the Komainu, right? I wonder if it's like—like in the dream realm." Sora pressed his lips together. "After you ran off, it was like…I was feeling the same things as you, for a time. I can't explain it, but. I felt like I was running, too."

Riku's gaze sharpened, and he took a step back. "You—?"

Sora shook his head quickly, holding his hands out. "It wasn't on purpose!"

Riku's shoulders relaxed a fraction. There was a pause, and then: "So we've already started—" he waved his hands vaguely.

Sora nodded, his face brightening. "And, when we were sparring? I have never done anything like that before, either."

Riku's face softened, his eyes dropping to the floor. "I know you didn't—you weren't trying to steal control." He glanced back up. "Is it just that simple, though?" There was a look in his eyes that Sora didn't recognize. "I just…let you in?"

It was vulnerability, Sora realized, and maybe Riku realized it, too, because the look was gone almost as soon as Sora noticed it.

Sora hummed. "But what about the uh…magic? Maybe we should keep reading."

Riku sighed, shrugged. He rubbed his eyes and turned back to the counter. He picked up his cup of coffee and gestured at Sora with it. "Coffee?"

Sora stood, joining Riku at the counter. "Yes, please."

Riku obliged, producing another mug and pouring the coffee in silence, except for a soft inquiry of, "Cream and sugar?" It wasn't until after Sora had wrapped his hands around the mug that he spoke again. "I don't think Xehanort has enough control yet to use magic. Or maybe he doesn't know."

Sora lifted his eyebrows. "That's good, then, right?"

Riku nodded slowly.

Sora stirred his coffee absently. "Are there others? Like you and Terra, or like me?"

Riku stared into his mug. "Somewhere, probably. We thought there were no souehei, but we were wrong. So there are probably more Komainu than we know about." He shrugged. "I don't know how to contact them."

Sora bumped his shoulder. "That's okay."

A notification sounded from Riku's phone, and he tapped the message. "It's Yen Sid." Riku's fingers moved on the screen, sending a reply. "He said he has something for us and asked where we were."

"Did he say what?"

Riku shook his head, tilting his phone to show Sora the message. A second message appeared on the screen.

"Ah, he said he's sending it over."

"Mn." Riku tapped the counter, and Sora had a vivid image of a cat flicking its tail back and forth in thought. "Sora."

Sora blinked at the suddenness of Riku's voice. "Yeah?"

Riku opened his mouth, and then closed it, shaking his head. "Never mind."

Sora tilted his head. "No, what is it, Riku?"

Riku ducked his head, his voice low and fast. "Dating…why do you want to do that?"

Sora raised his eyebrows, bemused, and then his lips stretched into a smile. "I like you. I thought that was obvious."

Riku looked at Sora through his eyelashes. "But isn't this enough?"

"This?" Sora's smile slipped.

Riku exhaled. "This," and this time when Riku said the word, Sora felt a slight tug, like a string pulled taut between them.

Sora stared. "What was that?"

Riku huffed a sigh. "A bond. It's still new, but…"

"Oh." Sora pursed his lips, processing. "So, a bond…like…"

"I think that's what Ansem was talking about, even if he didn't know," Riku mused. "It's…" he hesitated. "Not something we share lightly." Softer: "It would make sense, then, if 'their hearts beat as one.'"

"Oh," Sora said again.

"So, there's no need to date," Riku finished, a hint of irritation lacing his voice.

"Oh." Comprehension dawned on Sora, a flush following in its wake.

Riku, noticing, let out a small laugh. "Wow, Sora, you're slow."

Sora scowled half-heartedly. "I'm still learning about all of this, you know!"

"Alright," Riku conceded. A beat later, his phone rang, and he answered it with a brief, "Yes, send him up," before hanging it up. "Yen Sid's messenger," he supplied.

It wasn't long before a knock sounded at the door, and Riku opened it after glancing through the peephole.

A young man, shorter than Sora, stood on the other side of it, shaking black hair from his eyes. "Oh, hiya guys! You must be Sora and Riku. I'm Mickey." He held out a bundle wrapped in brown paper. "Yen Sid sent me to deliver this."

Riku accepted the parcel. "Thanks."

Mickey beamed. "No problem! I have to get back, but good luck. I hope that comes in handy!"

Riku and Sora watched his hurried departure down the hall, eyebrows raised, until he turned the corner and disappeared from sight.

"Wow," Riku murmured, closing the door.

"What?"

Riku brushed his shoulder against Sora's casually. "I didn't think it was possible for someone to be happier than you, is all." His eyes sparkled as he said it, his tone light.

Sora pouted. "You're mean, you know that?"

Riku made a noise in his throat, somewhere between a purr and a laugh, if Sora were to guess.

"So, what is it?"

Riku set it on the counter, a little away from their coffees, and tugged off the paper. There was a note on top: I appropriated this, but I thought it wise to deliver it to one who can make use of it. And beneath the paper, gleaming dully, a wooden Komainu mask that matched the drawings they'd encountered in their research. It was red, stylized, with swirls of gold, and carved fangs done in bone yellow.

Riku's fingers hovered over the lacquer. "I always thought these were just masks," he murmured.

Sora studied the whorls and age-cracked paint. "Isn't it?"

Riku trailed his forefinger over a wooden cheekbone, and it seemed that the gold shone a little brighter. "No. See for yourself." He pulled his hand away, gesturing to Sora to touch the mask.

"It's warm," Sora mused. More than that, he could feel a pulse of energy, a low vibration beneath his hand.

Riku frowned. "So much of our history, lost to darkness." He made to pick up the mask, and what had been a low gleam suddenly grew in intensity, and both Riku and Sora drew their hands back in surprise. The light dissipated, and Riku reached down again, turning the mask over and studying it. "I think…" He held it in front of his face and inhaled, eyes bright. "Interesting. It makes it easier for me, to hold a human form." At Sora's puzzled expression, Riku placed the mask back on the table. "It's not a natural form for me," he explained, "So it takes energy to maintain it."

Sora poked at the mask. "Something tells me there's more to it than that, though. Don't you think? Or else Yen Sid wouldn't have…borrowed it."

Riku nodded, sipping his coffee.

"Ansem's journal mentioned that the one he was following had a mask," Sora said slowly, "but nothing about masks after that. Like…none of the…uhm, ones he controlled, there's no mention of masks. Do you think maybe it protects you?"

Riku shrugged. "Maybe there's more we haven't read yet. Or he just didn't write anything."

"Right, right. We shouldn't take any chances, right? Oh, but I could try to control you with it on?"

"We could try." Riku made a face at his empty coffee cup. "Alright, Sora." Riku took up the mask again, this time fitting it fully to his face. When he growled "Stop me," it was muffled by the mask, and yet, Sora heard the words clearly, just a moment before Riku sprang into action.

[nadziejastar]

As someone who also feels like KH3 handled Isa all wrong--and, admittedly, a shameless LeaIsa shipper--I also feel like they handled Lea all wrong, too. He seeme... far too blase about losing a childhood friend. He knows Roxas and Xion one year and it's the end of the world when they're gone, but when it's Isa, it's like all his opinions and thoughts on the matter are an afterthought.I guess what I'm trying to ask is: What do you think of Lea's character in regards to Isa? (I LOVE YOUR BLOG BTW)

KH3 Destroyed Lea’s Character

Thank you so much! Oh, boy. I have a LOT to say about this. I was appalled by how Lea was handled in KH3. He was so blasé about even about his own backstory. He acted like being forced to follow Xemnas for a decade barely affected him. The only thing that mattered about his past was the mystery phantom girl. Isa was a total afterthought. They took away everything I liked about Lea’s character.

I found it so cringeworthy when Lea said he’ll bring everyone back, but “especially Roxas”. It didn’t even feel like Lea talking. Everything about KH3 felt like a bad fanfic written by a focus group trying to put in what they thought would have the most “popular” appeal.

No shame in being a LeaIsa shipper. I am, too. But I find that it goes even beyond just shipping with me. The handling of Lea’s relationship with Isa ruined his entire story and character arc. It spit on all of the core values of the series. These themes are all associated with the “Key to Return Hearts.” Ansem’s research data. The power of waking. Everything about Lea’s arc was about preparing him to learn it:

“What is it you are so afraid of?”

“Getting trapped in the darkness”

Mickey: You want him to dive back into Sora’s sleep? But Master, Sora’s heart is down in the darkest abyss. If Riku’s not careful, he might just get trapped down there with him.

If you are to use the power of waking, you can’t be afraid of the darkness. To wake the person, you risk getting lost in their abyss.

Mickey: You used the darkness to get here? That was reckless. But gosh, I didn’t expect you to save us…Axel.

Lea: Axel didn’t. My name is Lea. Got it memorized?

Well, the series went out of its way to show that Lea wasn’t afraid of that. He went looking for Isa as soon as he woke up. This was his childhood friend. They both experienced severe trauma together. They were both prisoners of Organization XIII for ten years. Isa’s personality totally changed after being in the Organization. Lea wanted to help him. He used the Corridors of Darkness and risked getting corrupted just to find him. But he was always smiling. He was happy to do it.

Why did Lea visit Disney Castle when he should have been looking for his friend?

To search for his friend he needed the power to move between worlds, and there is no way to do that other than become a Keyblade Wielder. At the time, wanting to be made a Keyblade Wielder, Lea saw a message recorded by Ansem the Wise in the past and, knowing it was dangerous, used the Corridors of Darkness once more to go talk with King Mickey and the others. That’s why after Maleficent left he was asking at the Mysterious Tower.

I spoke to one person who got the impression that in KH3D, Lea was barely concerned about Isa, and went looking for Roxas. No. He wasn’t looking for Roxas. Why would he be looking for Roxas? He knew exactly where he was. He went back inside Sora. That’s what Axel’s arc in KH2 was all about.

Isa was the one who was mysteriously missing. And while looking at the D.T.D, Lea said he was going to bring Braig and Isa back. I’m sure Lea had different plans for Braig when he brought him back than he did with Isa, lol. But he wanted to bring Isa back for the same reason he wanted to bring Roxas and Xion back. Because that’s his friend. I’m sure Lea would have asked Sora about Ventus, but he certainly wasn’t looking for Roxas. No, he was clearly looking for Isa.

“Causing someone to be hurt”

Naminé: At times, the pain can be wiped away. But there’s also a pain that always stays with you. There’s only one way to deal with that; you face it head-on and then you accept it. And if it happens that the hurt is too great for you to bear it alone, well, then you turn to a friend close to your heart.

Sora: It’ll bring us closer together; the hurt will only make us stronger. I’m willing to try! I’m ready to face all those memories that you found. It might have to be painful, but I can take it.

To use the power of waking, you have to be willing to deal with the consequences. The person went to sleep because they were experiencing too much pain. Being conscious means they’ll have to deal with that pain head-on. They’ll need someone to rely on during that time if they are to deal with it.

Axel: You can’t turn on the Organization! You get on their bad side, and they’ll destroy you!

Roxas: No one would miss me.

Axel: That’s not true… I would.

Axel wasn’t afraid of causing someone to be hurt if he thought it was for their own good. He wanted to prevent Roxas from being destroyed. He fought him to bring him back.

Xion: It’s for the good of everyone.

Axel: But how do you know that? Everybody thinks they’re right…

Xion: This is right.

Axel: They’re gonna destroy you!

And he did the same with Xion. He’d rather cause them temporary hurt than see them get destroyed. It was a fundamental aspect of his character. He’d always bring his friends back, even if he has to get his hands dirty.

“Losing something that’s important”

Axel: Huh…you’ve got a point. So, okay, say you don’t need a heart for things to be important to you… Maybe the closest thing we Nobodies have is our pasts. It’s the memories that give things value.

This is the correct answer. On Day 150, Axel said the most important thing to him was his memories of the past.

Day 150: Too Precious to Lose

Axel and I talked for a while about the things we can’t bear to lose. Axel thinks that for Nobodies, it’s our pasts, because that’s all we have to remember the pain of losing something. I don’t remember my past, but the idea of losing the present—Axel or Xion—scares me.

Because that’s all he has to remember the pain of losing something. Day 150 is called “Fear”. Axel was afraid of losing something important in the past.

Roxas: It’s scary to think I could lose you guys.

Axel: Scary? Scary’s a feeling, man.

Roxas: Yeah, I know I can’t feel, but… It’s still a scary thought.

Axel: A thought, then. But not a feeling.

Roxas: Are you sure?

Axel: Maybe you just remember what it’s like to feel scared, and think you’re feeling it now.

But now, he says that Nobodies can’t feel fear, and doubts Roxas when he says he’s afraid. This is because, unlike Roxas, he already lost what he considered most precious to him. He has nothing to fear anymore. He forgot what it felt like to be afraid of loss. He thinks it’s because he has no heart. But it’s really because he gave up on his dreams a long time ago. Roxas and Xion remind him of what it felt like to have a heart. They remind him of what it felt like to be afraid of loss. They were also supposed to remind him of something else important, but that will come up later.

“What is the one thing you care about more than anything else?“

“The hearts connected by light”

Mickey: There’s something real strong that binds us to each other. Even in the darkness, you can reach him. All you gotta do is follow that connection!

This is very important. To use the power of waking on someone, your connection has to be powerful. If you don’t have a strong connection, you can’t locate them. It’s why Riku and Mickey had trouble finding Aqua. They had only met her once.

Yen Sid: You’ll recall, in your first journey, that you brought many worlds back from the darkness–but some never returned completely. They still sleep, cut off from all outside channels. Not even the Heartless can enter.

You have to be able to go where they are—in the deepest, darkness abyss, where light doesn’t reach. Then you can lead them back to the Realm of Light. But that’s not all.

Fairy Godmother: Cinderella’s Fairy Godmother. I appear to those who believe that dreams come true.

Aqua: Then I am honored. But why would you advise me not to fight darkness with light?

Fairy Godmother: Strong rays of sun create dark shadows. Sadly, Lady Tremaine and both her daughters are jealous of Cinderella’s charm and beauty, qualities that appear to you as “light.” Jealousy is darkness. Light and dark go hand in hand. You can’t have one without the other.

Those who have been in the darkness long enough will be filled with dark qualities. Jealousy, anger, hate, rage, and sadness.

Xehanort: Master Eraqus, you see, is so afraid of darkness, that he too, has succumbed–not to darkness, but to light. It shines so bright, he forgets that light begets darkness. And Aqua and Ventus, their lights shine too bright. It is only natural that they cast shadows on your heart. Eraqus… He is such a fool! Light and darkness, they are a balance–one that must always be maintained.

The stronger the light, the greater the shadow. Your light only makes their darkness stronger.

Aqua: A pure heart filled with light… It’s strange, The Master taught me darkness needs to be destroyed. But how, if not with light?

Fairy Godmother: Oh, my dear, you’re too young to know. Experience more things, and you’ll find the answer. Just trust in your dreams.

To use the power of waking, you can’t destroy the person’s darkness with your heart of light. The Fairy Godmother hints that love is what can really bring a person out of darkness.

Terra: No… I succumbed to it. Just like when I stole Princess Aurora’s heart of light. I can never return home now. I’m a failure.

Having a strong light is only one part of it. You have to enter and accept a person’s darkness before you can lead them back into the light. You have to be able to ease their pain. This is why Eraqus failed to reach Terra. When Maleficent put Terra in a trance, Eraqus was the literal personification of his darkness.

Eraqus: No, you were right. I failed you, Terra. Perhaps I’ve no one to blame but myself for the darkness inside you. And now I’ve done worse–raised my Keyblade against you and Ventus. My own heart is darkness!

He was so concerned with getting rid of Terra’s darkness, that he failed to make him feel unconditionally loved. Terra began to doubt his master’s love for him, which only enhanced his darkness. He felt unworthy, feared rejection, and began to isolate himself. This made him extremely vulnerable to Xehanort’s manipulation.

Eraqus: Has the darkness taken you, Terra?

When Terra became a victim of Xehanort, Eraqus failed to understand him. He just assumed he was the same as Xehanort. In his fear, he thought he needed to destroy him. He realized that Terra turned to darkness because he hadn’t confronted the darkness in himself.

Aqua: The darkness can’t have you!

But Aqua was able to reach Terra. She cared more bout saving him from his darkness than she did about extinguishing his darkness. She stayed in the abyss just so he could escape. She was always lighting his way back.

“I’m fading… Fading away…into the light…?”

If he was a creature of darkness—if he couldn’t fight the darkness with his own strength—then there was no other way but for Sora to destroy him, Riku thought hazily.

And if someone had to destroy him…he would much rather that Sora do it than anyone else.

You have to recognize the darkness in yourself before you can help someone overcome theirs. Sora had plenty light and love. But that’s not enough to wake someone who is in the Realm of Sleep. He wasn’t supposed to be done developing. Riku was able to become a Keyblade master, while Sora did not. This was because he confronted the darkness within himself and overcame it. He suffered, and it made his heart stronger. He could resist greater levels of darkness than Sora could, because of his past experiences. He gained the power of waking and could enter the darkest abyss.

Sora: Exactly, believe. I thought it was all over for me, but a friend of mine looked me in the eye and said, “You don’t believe that.”

Sora broke down during the final battle, after everyone was wiped out and it seemed like all hope was lost. It was Riku’s words that had the most impact on him. I think Riku’s sacrifice was originally supposed to be the key. It would teach Sora the lesson he needed to finally learn the power of waking and bring everyone back. Riku was stronger in the face of darkness than he was. He sacrificed himself for Sora, and believed in him. Just like Axel did before. Sora finally realized what it was that he was lacking, thanks to Riku.

“We don’t disappear… We’re only reborn,” Naminé murmured, perhaps to herself.

“I’m not like you and Roxas,” Axel said flatly. His hand holding the ice pop stick paused in midair.

“But—but you…” She looked down, clenching her fists.

“It’s because I don’t have a heart,” Axel went on. “I don’t want to disappear, but I’m not upset or sad about it.”

Lea’s character arc was ALL about this. I mean, he was sneaking into the castle when experiments on the darkness of the heart were taking place. He knows that he’s got darkness in him. Axel saw himself as a creature of the dark, just like Riku did. He sacrificed himself, even when he had no hope for a next life. But he came out on the other side stronger than ever. All of his suffering would have prepared him to gain the power of waking.

“The strength to protect others”

Eraqus: You must know, I care for you like my own son. If I could have my way, I would name you Master in a second. But, how can I, when you are so obsessed with power? Terra, you mustn’t be afraid of losing. Fear leads to obsession with power, and obsession beckons the darkness.

Axel wasn’t like Terra. He was never concerned with becoming strong. Terra’s fear of losing led to his darkness.

Terra: Is there some reason you’re interested in the outside world?

Riku: Yeah. I wanna be strong one day. Like that kid who left. He went to the outside world– I bet he’s really strong now. I know it’s out there somewhere–the strength that I need.

And he wasn’t like Riku. He wasn’t competitive. He never tried to prove himself that way.

Larxene: Haven’t decided yet… I think what intrigues me more is what you see in him.

Axel: There was a time he became a Heartless. And if one becomes a Heartless—

Larxene: They lose their minds and their feelings… They’re consumed by the darkness.

Axel: Right. But not Sora. He held on to his feelings, even as a Heartless. And there’s only one other man who’s been able to do just that.

Larxene: It’s the strength of his heart… That’s what interests you. Why the Keyblade chose Sora’s heart.

Axel: To unlock the mysteries of the heart. Isn’t that the Organization’s mission?

It was the strength of Sora’s heart that interested him. He waned to know why the Keyblade chose him. When he saw how devoted Sora was to Riku, he decided to do everything he could to save him. After that, he changed and started to feel like protecting others. Lea didn’t ask to be a wielder because he wanted to be a strong fighter. He didn’t see himself as a peacekeeper or a Guardian of Light. The only reason he wanted to wield a Keyblade was to look Look for Isa.

“My close friends”

Riku: I told you. I didn’t want to be found. Not like this…I couldn’t. I fought with Ansem. With…Xehanort’s Heartless—when it invaded my heart, and I won. But to use the power of darkness, I had to become Ansem myself.

This is the correct answer. Riku reacted to his darkness by isolating himself from his close friends.

Aqua: I’m not so sure. I’ve been to the same worlds as you and I’ve seen what you’ve done. You shouldn’t put yourself so close to the darkness.

Ven: Listen to yourself, Aqua. Terra would never–

Terra: You mean you’ve been spying on me? Is that what he said to do? The Master’s orders?

So did Terra. He was ashamed and pushed Aqua and Ven away.

Axel: Does it hurt, Naminé? Watching your two childhood friends fight all because of you? You have my sympathies. From the heart. But don’t waste your time. We Nobodies can never hope to be somebodies.

Axel’s darkness was different from Terra and Riku’s. He didn’t push his friends away because of his darkness. His darkness was caused by losing everything, and being rejected by a close friend. He cared for his friends more than anything. It was the root cause of his hatred. He was wiling to kill Naminé because she was driving close friends apart.

Axel: We’ve got something in common, Kairi. You and I both miss someone we care about. Hey, I feel like we’re friends already.

Kairi: You’re not acting very friendly!

He kidnapped Kairi all because he wanted to see his close friend again.

“What do you wish?”

“To heal the pain from the past”

Terra: Is something wrong?

Cinderella: It’s just that my friends made me the most beautiful dress–but my stepmother and stepsisters ruined it. And I was so looking forward to the ball.

Terra: Darkness always finds a way into a wounded heart. You have to be strong. Strength of heart will carry you through the hardest of trials.

Cinderella: But I…I can’t believe…not anymore…

Axel’s pain was caused by losing something important in the past. He lost Isa, his best friend from childhood. And he also lost his connection to his inner child. He lost his innocence. His faith that his dreams could come true. His ability to believe.

Cinderella: There’s nothing left to believe in…nothing.

Voice: Nothing, my dear? Oh, now, you don’t really mean that.

Cinderella: Oh…but I do. It’s just no use.

Fairy Godmother: Nonsense! If you’d lost all your faith, I couldn’t be here, and here I am. Oh, come now, dry those tears. You can’t go to the ball looking like that.

I feel like people a lot of people missed the entire point of Roxas/Axel/Xion. I know Axel/Saïx was written with a lot of subtlety, but I’m surprised so many people just didn’t pick up on what the writers were getting at.  

Terra: Her heart was full of light. Why didn’t I see it? What did you do? I can hardly tell she’s the same person.

Fairy Godmother: Terra, in your heart, do you believe that dreams can come true?

Terra: I do. But I also believe you have to make an effort to make them come true.

Roxas/Axel/Xion wasn’t created simply so they could sit around and be ice cream buddies in the epilogue. I mean, sheesh. How boring. Yes, they grew to be close friends. But there was supposed to be a lot more to it than that. There was something a lot more meaningful planned.

Fairy Godmother: Yes, of course. But sometimes just believing in dreams is easier said than done. Cinderella believes her dreams can come true. I wanted her to see that she is right.

Terra: So that’s what made her shine–faith in her heart that anything is possible. Where did she go?

Fairy Godmother: To the royal ball at the palace. Go. And when you see her dancing…you’ll know that she believes, and that will help you to believe, too.

Having strength of heart IS important. But in order to have that, first you need to believe.

Axel: I’m not feeling it, Roxas.

Roxas: C'mon, try again. Believe me on this, Axel!

Axel: Okay… I believe you…I can fly… I can fly!?

Roxas: You can fly.

Roxas and Xion reconnected Axel with his lost childhood. That’s why Axel had such an iconic moment in Neverland with Roxas.

But small fragments of light survived, in the hearts of children. With these fragments of light, children rebuilt the lost world. It’s the world we live in now.

They taught him to not give up hope. To believe. Lea knew how to believe. He said that inside people’s memories, he could live forever. Axel stopped believing this.

Day 118: You Changed, Not Me

Talking to Roxas and Xion always brings back memories of my human life, back when I was a kid. It’s a weird sensation. I ought to be able to share all this with Saïx, but I just don’t feel like it anymore.

Lea met Ven when he was a kid, on the day he ate sea-salt ice cream for the first time. On the day he said he wanted to live forever inside people’s memories. The same day Isa said he’d never forget him. When he began to spend time with Roxas and Xion, they reminded him of who he used to be, and all that he lost.

Axel: Nothing lasts forever, man. Least of all for a bunch of Nobodies. But you know, we’ll still have each other…even if things change and we can’t do this anymore.

Roxas: Yeah?

Axel: As long as we remember each other, we’ll never be apart. Got it memorized?

Axel said he didn’t have best friend, and that nothing lasts forever.

A wish that they could always be together—was longing for the impossible. But at least they could always remember one another.

He wished that that he and Isa were still inseparable, but that’s impossible. So he has to settle for just the memories.

It’s strange, but I’m content with just missing what’s gone. I’m not the one who changed. You did.

Axel never wanted to never forget his memories of Isa. As long as he had them, they’d never have to be apart. He began to believe in Isa, even though he didn’t realize it.

So, listen, child. Even in the deepest darkness, there will always be a light to guide you. Believe in the light, and the darkness will never defeat you. Your heart will shine with its power and push the darkness away.

I totally agree with you. He knew Roxas and Xion for one year. He cares about them. They mean a lot to him. But he’s not gonna forget his childhood friend and fellow prisoner of Organization XIII, just by becoming friends with them. That wasn’t what Roxas and Xion were meant to do. They weren’t there to replace Lea’s relationship with Isa. Just like Lea wasn’t there to replace Terra when he picked up Ven’s wooden Keyblade. Roxas and Xion were supposed to help Lea get Isa back.

Terra: There’s this girl here–her name is Cinderella. She made me realize how powerful it is just to believe. No matter how impossible things seem…a powerful enough dream will always be enough to light the darkness.

They were there to be Axel’s Cinderella. It wasn’t by accident that they chose two characters that had pure hearts of light. They were supposed to teach him to believe in his dreams. To fave faith that he can restore what he lost. To not give up on his friend. The same way Riku’s light inspired Terra to make amends with his friends.

“To protect my friends”

Terra: Funny… This whole time I’ve been telling myself I want to be stronger, more independent… But the second I let my heart do the talking… I find out how little I really know myself. And how much I miss them. That experiment of yours… You sure about him? Maybe, in his heart, he wants friends just like the rest of us.

Terra thought he wanted power. But he really wanted friendship more.

Terra: Strength for what?

Riku: To protect the things that matter. You know, like my friends.

Same with Riku. The only reason he wanted to become strong was to protect his friends. This is why Terra found Riku worthy enough to inherit the Keyblade.

Sora: What? You wanna be a Keyblade Master?

Lea: Yeah. I mean, I came here to learn how to wield one.

Sora & Riku: YOU!?

Lea: Hey, thanks for the vote of confidence. You know, I was gonna come swooping in, Keyblade in hand! But I just couldn’t get mine to materialize. Must be in the snap of the wrist or something.

Lea cares about his friends more than anything. He awakened his Keyblade after unsuccessfully trying to bring his friend back.

Yen Sid: I will tell you what your friend needs right now. It is not your protection. He needs you to believe.

But the power of waking its not about protection in that sense. It’s more important that you believe in them. Lea was overpowered in his battle at the Keyblade Graveyard. A lot of people were mad about this. But that’s because his victory wasn’t supposed to be about his strength at using the Keyblade. That wasn’t what his character was all about. It was the strength of his heart that really mattered. After Lea looked into Isa’s eyes, he stopped attacking. Then Xemnas broke his Keyblade. If Isa’s heart had broken free of Xehanort’s control and defended him, he wouldn’t have come across so disempowered. It would have been a victory of his heart.

Roxas: Hey, Axel. You haven’t forgotten?

Axel: Hm? What?

Roxas: You made us a promise.

Axel: I did?

When Axel had a dream of Roxas before he woke up, it was not to show that he went looking for him afterwards. It was to show how Lea reconnected with his old self. Now that he’s been recompleted, he feels full of hope. He was wrong. He was able to get his heart back. He did have a next life.

Roxas: That you’d always be there…to bring us back.

Axel: Yeah…

Roxas: Got it memorized?

Axel: Best friends forever.

Maybe his dreams still can come true. He can believe in that now. Roxas and Xion (when he remembers her) taught him that. And Sora made it all possible by defeating Xemnas. The most important thing to Axel was the past. He sought out Mickey to find Isa, even after everything his Nobody did.

Ansem: Our most precious treasures–even an empty puppet–the trees of the forest, and the petals on the wind–there are hearts around us everywhere we look. And it does not take superhuman powers to see them. Surely we remember as children the way our hearts made everything seem so shiny, and perfect. Sora has a heart like that–uncorrupted, willing to see the good before the bad. When he sees the heart in something, it then becomes real. When a connection seems broken, he may have the power to mend it.

Sora was supposed to do the same thing for Lea that Roxas and Xion did. He has the pure heart of a child. That’s the type of love needed to use the power of waking. Not anything superhuman. Just love. But unconditional love. The kind that’s willing to see the good before the bad. And that’s what Lea’s relationship with Isa was ALL ABOUT. Lea was willing to see the good in the bad. He was able to still see his beloved childhood friend in a Xehanort clone. He loved with the pure heart of a child. He never gave up on Isa’s pure childhood heart, either. This would have allowed him to mend their connection. I found the prospect SO touching.

Lea: Axel? Please. The name’s Lea. Got it memorized?

Xigbar: You’re not supposed to be here!

Lea: Promises to keep. I’ll always be there to get my friends back. What, bad timing?

In KH3, Lea acted SO out-of-character. I couldn’t believe how blasé he was about Isa. He acted nothing like he did before. I kept waiting for him to bring up Isa, and he never did. Then I saw the clock tower scene and was just speechless. The game was written like I was supposed to know already that Isa willingly joined Organization XIII. Well, I never got the memo, so I was very confused.

Nomura: In order to wield a Keyblade, the most important requirement is to be “the owner of a strong heart.” Regardless if it’s a good heart or a bad heart, a strong heart is necessary.

You need to believe before you can have true strength of heart. And you need a strong heart to wield a Keylade.

What happens to Lea hereafter now that he has become a Keyblade wielder?

Lea, having returned to his human form, chosen by the Keyblade. Does him getting a Keyblade have anything to do with his best friend Roxas? And is there a possibility that Lea’s become one of the protectors of Light?

Roxas and Xion (when he remembers her) taught Axel how to believe again. And because of this, Lea’s heart became strong enough to awaken the ability to wield the Keyblade. And thanks to them, Lea would have found out that Isa never forgot him; he was just asleep. It would have made Roxas/Xion/Axel SO much more meaningful if Lea learned the power of waking due to them. They would have made Lea’s dreams come true. How beautiful would that have been?

“Recover Something Important”

Riku: I remember my first time here. I was so scared. But now, my doubts and fears are gone. If anything, I feel exhilarated. And it’s not because there’s darkness in me. I know too well what that rush is like. This is different. And it’s not adrenaline either. I know Aqua needs us…but I’m ready. I’m in control now. Maybe it’s because you’re with me this time.

Mickey: It’s not me. I think it’s because you’ve finally found inside you that special strength to protect what matters.

Riku: What?

Mickey: Sometimes you care so much for somebody that other feelings disappear. And then there’s no room for doubt.

Riku: Is that it? “Strength to protect what matters”. It reminds me of a promise I made.

This is the right answer. The other two answers are important. But this is the MOST important. Healing pain from the past allows you to believe. Believing gives you strength of heart.

Hercules: I owe you one, Hades. I didn’t hesitate to give my life for Meg’s. And then, I remembered: A true hero is measured by the strength of his heart. I’ll never forget that again.

And strength of heart allows you to care about someone so much that nothing else matters. It gives you the strength to protect your friends. But also the power to recover something important that was lost.

Even though Axel had been eliminated in Kingdom Hearts II, since that time, had you considered having him appear again in his human form Lea?I thought a lot about that. Should I leave him as he was or should I bring him back again? However, when I considered the people that Lea wants to bring back, his existence plays a big role. I think Lea has successively become a key character.

Lea had people he wanted to bring back.

Nomura: Right now there are a lot of things that Lea wants to regain. That desire is connected to the strength of his heart.

His strong desire to regain something that he lost was directly connected to his strength of heart, and his ability to wield the Keyblade.

Though he’s a member of Organization XIII, Axel is shown in the end of KH Re:coded in the memories of “pain”…

Since healing the necessary “pain” of Axel’s is different than with other people, if he is revived he will take a form like Xehanort’s. In the end of the story, Namine says, “Those whose memories are sleeping inside Sora need relief.” In the KH BbS secret cutscene “Blank Points”, certain characters call out to Sora, however in that scene Axel is the only one who appears and doesn’t say Sora’s name out loud.

Axel doesn’t say Sora’s name out loud. Why? Because his pain was different according to Nomura. What makes his pain different?

Naminé: They’re waiting for Sora. He’s the only one who can put an end to their hurt. DiZ told me…he hid something inside you during the year you were asleep. I asked him what, and all he would say was that he was “clearing his conscience.”

Naminé: Sora must be the key to saving the people you saw…and the ones you’re about to see.

Asnem studied the heart’s connection to memory. He could bring back a person’s lost past. All the characters connected to Sora could be brought back that way. Naminé’s a part of Kairi, but Sora can thank her. Roxas can be revived through Ven getting his memories. Xion through Kairi. Aqua by Sora gaining access to Ven’s memories and using the power of waking. Ven, by bringing back Aqua. Terra, once Ven is saved. If this wasn’t the plan, then why was Sora supposed to be the key? In KH3, he wasn’t the key to bringing them back. But he was the one with the memories sleeping inside him.

Ansem: Sora was the only one able to return to his human form without destroying his Nobody. That is a statement to the love in his heart for other people, and the bonds that tie them together. Perhaps…he has the power to bring back the hearts and existences of those connected to him– to recreate people we thought were lost to us forever.

Sora is the key to healing all those characters’ pain. But he only has the power to bring back those connected to him. And Nomura’s quote suggested that Lea had pain that would NOT he healed by just bringing back the characters connected to Sora. It’s why he didn’t say Sora’s name out loud in Blank Points. He wouldn’t be fully healed with just Roxas and Xion. There was someone else he needed to bring back.

Lea (Axel) ended up playing an unexpected role. I was wondering what was running through your mind when you thought to make him a Keyblade wielder.

I figured since he had returned to being human, he wouldn’t have much luck bringing back the people he wanted without some sort of power. Throwing his chakrams doesn’t really count.

And he needed his own Keyblade to bring them back. He didn’t use his Keyblade to bring back Roxas and Xion. And Sora was supposed to be the one who needed to save them anyways.

Lea: You know what? I’ll bring ‘em back myself.

Ienzo: Huh? How, exactly?

Lea: Why do I always get stuck with the icky jobs?

He wanted to bring back Braig and Isa.

“You both think you can do whatever you want!” He summoned his flame-wreathed chakrams to his hands. “I’m sick of it. Go on, you just keep running. But I’ll always be there to bring you back!”

It was a plea, a cry, a bitter lament, and a vow.

No matter how many times you leave, I’ll bring you back. Every time. Both of you. For my sake and for yours.

And he used the exact same words when he went looking for Xion.

But I told myself to grow up and stop wishing for the impossible. Well, I’m done with that. That’s not the answer I want.

This is what he was thinking before he went to get Xion. He wants to be with his friends. It’s impossible, but he doesn’t care anymore. He’s not content with just memories. That was his wish.

Lea said the same lines, “Why do I always get the icky jobs,” and “I’ll always be there to bring you back,” to Xion in KH Days when he brought her back. Does he remember that?

Nomura: The nature of the being known as Xion and all memories to do with her were erased, but he would remember other things.

Nomura said he didn’t remember Xion, though. So why did he use those exact words?

Xehanort: While I know this future now that I have lived it, returning to my own time will erase the memories and experiences I have gained here. Still, my appointed path is now etched in my heart, which will first lead me to seek the outside world.

Because those memories are etched into his heart. When deciding to look for Braig and Isa, he felt the exact same way as when he went to bring Xion back. He remembered what it felt like to wish for something impossible.

A wish that they could always be together—was longing for the impossible. But at least they could always remember one another.

He used to just accept that it was impossible. But that’s not what he wants anymore. He chose to believe in the Isa of his memories. He wants to recover that Isa, no matter how impossible it seems. His wish is to bring his friend back.

Yet in KH3, Lea gave up on Isa. Axel constantly complained that his friend’s personality completely changed. In KH3D, he just learned that Xehanort has the power to turn an unwilling person into a vessel. He just received a ton of evidence that Isa was possessed and never Saïx to begin with. Just as soon as he has reason to believe all his dreams could come true…he stopped caring! We had all this buildup, and we never got to see his dreams come true. WTF!!! Why even give him a Keyblade!?

I was very loyal to this series. I bought all the spin-off games. I was following a specific story for over 10 years. I patiently waited for the conclusion to that story. KH3 was NOT the same story I had been following. It felt like a slap in the face as a fan. I felt totally led on. And I felt like all of my loyalty to the franchise had been betrayed.

[nadziejastar]

Well, first of all I loved his outfit. It’s similar enough to what he wore in BBS to make it feel like Isa, but still felt fresh. It looked like something a fashionable young person would wear. It’s based on a Roen-Gackt collaboration design. Nomura sure loves Gackt, lol. So Isa was considered important enough to get a lot of care put into his new outfit. This collaboration was probably done a long time in advance, like with FFVersus XIII. I’m sure Isa’s backstory was supposed to be WAY more fleshed out so that his character would make a MUCH stronger impression on the player by the end of KH3. So, the outfit was kinda wasted in a way. Isa’s whole character was just wasted potential, though.

In a room made of white marble, a large mirror reflected Demyx as he prepared to leave for the mission. He took particular care with his hairstyle, painstakingly manipulating the brown strands with a comb to make them stand straight up. Saïx observed him from behind with what appeared to be distaste. In stark contrast to Demyx, Saïx left his long blue hair unstyled. The X-shaped scar on his forehead was all the style he needed.

Having an outfit based on a J-pop star might tell us something about how Nomura originally viewed Isa’s personality. He actually seemed like a rather fashionable young man who took pride in his appearance. He even wore stud earrings. His style was different from other kids like Hayner, Pence, or Lea. Saïx didn’t have any interest in his appearance. But Isa certainly seemed like the type to style his hair and then some. For some reason, I picture him ironically spending even MORE time in front of the mirror than Demyx. Especially post-KH3. Isa was already shy. I think he would probably struggle with insecurity over having a scar covering most of his face. So, he would try even harder to compensate with nice clothes and accessories.

The KH3 ending outfit really doesn’t fit someone like Saïx, who had such a harsh and dreary personality. I can’t see Saïx choosing to wear anything like that outfit. Way too youthful and trendy. And definitely not the star and moon accessory, either. He’d throw up at the cute little moon on Isa’s BBS outfit. Isa obviously was supposed to have such a different personality than Saïx. I bet Isa is going to be SUCH an awkward character going forward, because they’ll feel obligated to keep his Saïx personality traits, which will clash so badly with the rest of his character. He’ll be this pseudo-villain/quasi-good guy that just will feel so out of place in a series like this. It breaks my heart.

A great number of Nobodies have lost human form, as have the Heartless. Yet the Nobody born of someone with a strong heart retains its shape, with but the faintest visible changes.

As far as the rest of his design goes, I thought it was pretty lazy. In my opinion, Isa’s character design needed much more of an update than what he got. Kairi looked more different after her haircut than Isa did in the ending. If anyone deserved to look different for KH3, it was him. But…he still looked almost exactly like Saïx to me. He has a bit more color to his hair and face, and his scar is faded. But that’s about it. Which I guess was intentional. Why bother changing his look? It seems like they gave up on whatever plan they originally had for Isa to be his own character who was totally distinct from Saïx. They’re gonna just pretend that he wasn’t Norted and treat him like he was the same as Axel. Which sucks. 

Axel and Riku get along very well somehow. Since Riku has become a figure of Ansem, I don’t speak much with him, but he laughs like a different person when he eats Ice cream with Axel. Axel says he “Laughs to face bad feelings”, but it seems that Riku isn’t a bad person. At that Axel said ‘don’t laugh when you’ve got a gross face’, but Riku didn’t seem all that annoyed.

Also, Axel really liked sea-salt ice cream. You’ve eaten sea salt ice cream ever since you moved to that house. I wonder how you don’t break your stomach! It felt like he ate them to an unthinkable extent. Axel ate so much ice cream that the freezer in the computer room emptied every day.

Now as a villain, Saïx had a very cool design. He was handsome and had long hair, but...he looked mean and scary. He was supposed to. He WAS mean and scary. He was Xemnas’ right-hand man, after all. And if he was Norted, this makes sense. He was envisioned as a sociopathic guy who has bouts of uncontrollable bloodlust when exposed to moonlight. I like Saïx’s design. He was pale and almost vampire-looking? Or maybe Addam’s family. He was created as a bad guy. The whole idea was that he was a scary, unapproachable dude. He was sinister and creepy. Yet ironically his original self was the polar opposite. It made for a pretty cool twist, IMO.

“…Aw, is it good?” Axel teased. “Seriously, you’re like a little kid. Even though you look like a mean old man.” Riku made no response, keeping his gaze fixed on the computer screen. The comment did rub him the wrong way. But mentally, Axel was definitely older than him by at least a little. Not that you could tell from looking.

They were clearly going for a VERY different vibe with Isa. When I first played BBS, I thought that the visual difference between Isa and Saïx was extremely noticable. Isa looked a lot softer, sweeter and more friendly. The idea behind Saïx's design was: harsh and scary. The idea of a cute bunny rabbit representing his personality was supposed to be absurd. Saïx would be utterly disgusted if he was seen as “cute”. But the idea behind Isa's design was: cute and innocent. And Isa was indeed a little cutie. And he was innocent, too.

Saïx: We'll ensure he receives the maximum punishment.

Axel: Okay, since you worked really hard today, you get a reward. 

Saïx’s Casual Gear is called “Dessert Time,” but the localization named it “Just Desserts", and I thought that was very clever. To get one’s just desserts means to receive the appropriate punishment for one's actions. But sea-salt ice cream is supposed to be a treat to reward someone who did a good job.

Saïx gave him a cruel grin. “You will lose everything!” And then the Claymore pierced Axel’s chest.

Saïx rarely smiles because he is cold and cruel. But he would smile when he’s giving Axel his just desserts.

“But sweet!” Lea added, and Isa smiled a bit. That was rare for him. Well, eating ice cream together, talking about silly stuff, laughing together—it was just what friends did.

Isa rarely smiles because he’s shy. But he would smile when he’s eating ice cream with Lea because he has a sweet tooth and loves dessert. It was such a cool idea. I loved it.

dichotomy

1. a division or contrast between two things that are or are represented as being opposed or entirely different.

2. the phase of the moon in which half its disk appears illuminated

Saïx’s Pandora Gear is called “Dichotomy” in the localization. Saïx had weapons called Lunatic, Berserker and Werewolf. The weapon representing his real personality is a bunny rabbit. The HUGE difference between Isa and Saïx was the whole point. My impression was that BBS wanted to emphasize as much as possible that Isa and Saïx were two very different people. And character design was one way they chose to do that. That dichotomy is what made Isa so interesting to me. If you want to make Isa his own character, you should go with a different character design, in my opinion.

“You’re in a pretty good mood,” Axel remarked. Riku glanced up.

“Seeing Sora just made you that happy, huh?”

“I don’t feel like telling you.” A little smile crossed Riku’s lips as he took another bite.

“Y’know, it’s creepy when you smile with that guy’s face,” Axel said dryly, following suit and nibbling on his own ice cream.

Silence fell over the room. He paused in his munching to stare hard at Riku, then finally asked, “What is Sora to you?”

The question caught Riku off guard. He groped for words. On the sofa opposite him, Naminé spoke up instead. “Sora and Riku are best friends.”

Like Terra, Isa was supposed to be cursed. Being Norted is no joke. That’s what a lot of the Beauty and the Beast parallels were about. Axel started teasing Riku for his ugly ass face the same time they were trying to figure out the organization’s next move. They were going to target those with strong hearts, and the Beast was one of those targets. 

Belle nodded and silently walked out of the room. The trio went after her. The Beast was left alone with no company but the moonlight.

“You’re really just going to give up on everything now?” Sora said all at once. But the Beast only stared up at the moon.

Isa was supposed to be just as cursed as Riku was in KH2. And Riku changing his appearance fit perfectly with Lea and Isa’s story. Axel said Riku was creepy when he smiled with that face, and unfortunately that’s kind of how “Isa” made me feel in the KH3 ending. Since they took away the possession angle, I didn’t really see him as Isa. He still felt like Saïx to me. And seeing Saïx play and smile like that was kinda unsettling. And weird.

Axel’s eyes crinkled as he remembered his own best friend—the only friend he’d ever had, in fact.

“If your best friend goes away, you’re sad, and if you get to be with them, you’re happy,” Naminé added. “Isn’t that how it is, Axel?”

“…That’s about the size of it.” Axel nodded and sat down on the remaining empty sofa, staring at the sea-salt ice cream he held.

“So you are capable of sincerity,” said Riku.

Axel only shrugged at the jab and finished his ice cream pop.

Probably for this very reason, I could tell that Nomura wanted to take a different direction with Isa’s character design after he decided to make him a good guy and Lea’s best friend. You can see what Nomura had in mind for an adult Isa based on his illustrations of Saïx for 358/2 Days and KH2FM+. He looks different than he did in his vanilla KH2 concept art. His features lean a lot more heavily toward Isa in BBS. I really wished KH3 went in this direction with his updated character design. He looks much more youthful here, like Axel does. Also, I loved the fact that his scar was gigantic. It went all the way from the top of his forehead to the bottom of his nose. In KH3, they stuck with the old Saïx design, so his scar was a lot smaller. I like the bigger scar because it really shows that he was treated like a human lab rat (of course that idea was scrapped, anyways). 

Beside the Beast, who had once been a handsome prince, stood a man in a black cloak. “It’s time you dealt with the girl. She’s scheming to take everything you have,” said Xaldin, his hood pulled low to hide his face. “Your castle, your treasures…and then your very life.” The Beast hung his head. His castle was a desolate place, ruled by a monster.

“Trust no one. Feed your anger. Only rage will keep you strong!”

“I’ve had enough of strength. There’s only one thing I want…” The Beast gazed, unmoving, at the glass bell jar around a single red rose.

What he wanted was—

“Hah,” Xaldin spat. “To love and be loved in return? Who could ever love a beast?” The Beast whirled again, his cape rippling. He glared and let out a roar of fury.

“Good. Let your anger rise!” With that, Xaldin vanished.

Axel didn’t really see his best friend when he looked at Saïx. He felt like Isa went away and Saïx took his place. His relationship with Saïx was based on his memories of the past. He self-medicated with ice cream to cope. It was heartbreaking. After the scene where Axel was sad about his best friend going away, the chapter about the Beast’s Castle begins, describing him as a formerly handsome prince. So on that basis, I wish there was more visual differentiation between Isa and Saïx. Most of the fandom is just going to see Isa as the same mean old Saïx since there was no attempt to differentiate Isa’s personality from Saïx’s personality and they look exactly the same, too. 

“I don’t trust you,” Saïx replied flatly, the enormous Claymore in his hand.

“Traitors like you deserve to lose everything,” Saïx said.

Saïx gave him a cruel grin. “You will lose everything!”

They originally wanted Isa to have a distinct personality and appearance from Saïx—a lot more than just a new outfit. Isa was supposed to be a beautiful love interest cursed into being a beast. In the novel you can tell that Xigbar and Xaldin were pressuring Saïx to eliminate Axel. He was reluctant to do so on his own. Xigbar doubted whether he was even looking for Axel. Just like with the Beast, they were manipulating him to think Axel had been plotting to take everything from him. Deep down Saïx probably felt similar to the Beast. Like nobody could ever love him in his condition. I think that’s why he was so furious. Axel grew a heart, and then left him. But the only reason Axel grew a heart was because he remembered his feelings for Isa. It was a really cool idea. It's just a shame it never came to fruition.

[nadziejastar]

On Subject X and Lea/Isa friendship. The writers should’ve done more to develop the concept. I think it’s cool that that young Isa/Lea wanted to save someone, but they don’t explore the idea for us to think that they were connected. They mentioned it BBS, a little, but afterwards? No clue. I do like your Kairi theory though.

Thanks! I really like the Kairi theory, too. I have no proof or anything, but it just feels right to me. My gut tells me that since Kairi, Lea and Isa are all from Radiant Garden, the writers wouldn’t have wasted such a perfect opportunity to draw some connections there. And it just fits the story SO much better. 

In KH3, they were clearly trying to play up the idea that Lea and Isa were super close to this girl, as if she was the third member of their trio or something. And yet, if we are to go by their own descriptions…they don’t even know her. She was a traumatized amnesiac girl they met with a handful of times in the shadows. How close could they have possibly been to her? She was NOT their group’s Kairi or Aqua. They didn’t even know her name.

But his voice was still oddly low. Running into Saïx had brought out a different side of him—and that side was a little scary.

“This just doesn’t seem like you,” said Roxas.

“What do you mean?”

Roxas found he couldn’t quite put the answer into words. What can I say…? “You don’t like things to be complicated.”

That was the best he could do. It wasn’t quite right, either…but he didn’t know how to describe this.

If it actually had been Kairi, then they were simply trying to do a selfless deed for a person they had never met, expecting nothing in return for their actions. And they failed miserably, destroying their lives in the process. We know it is very in-character for Lea to want to help “stray puppies”. Despite not getting to learn much about Isa, it fits with his character based on the Reports in KH3, and also his personality based on the Bunnymoon weapon. Also, one of Saïx’s weapons is named Artemis, who was a lunar goddess and a patron of young girl children.

The fact that they never mentioned Kairi in Days would have made far more sense than Skuld, since they were never claiming to be BFF’s with her or anything. Plus, they had their own issues to worry about at that point. They weren’t trying to take over the Organization to learn about Kairi.

It would also help explain Axel’s unconditional love and empathy for Saïx. He thinks Saïx changed from a gentle and selfless boy to the messed-up freak he is all because one fateful day, they tried to help an innocent little girl who was being used as a human guinea pig. Roxas thinks that Axel is a pretty uncomplicated guy. It’s why he and Xion found it so hilarious when Axel expressed his deeper feelings that one time under the red sunset. It felt so out-of-character to them based on the facade Axel puts on. 

The sun sank lower and lower as Axel watched, his mind wandering.

If he stared for too long, the image would burn itself into his eyes, visible even after his eyes were closed.

A phantom sun.

Someone had once told him why sunsets were red… Who was that?

But of course, that couldn’t be further from the truth. Axel is far from uncomplicated. He just keeps his true feelings close to his chest. His feelings for Isa/Saïx were incredibly complicated. I think Axel was thinking about Isa that day while he was staring into the red sunset. He was thinking that he would never see the person he loved ever again.

The person he used to be inseparable from has changed into someone totally unrecognizable to him. Someone who has forgotten all about him, long ago. But, as a small comfort, he would never have to be apart from Isa, as long as he had the memories of him. In his memory, the Isa he loved would live forever, and they would always be inseparable. And that is what put him in such a sentimental mood that day.

In KH3, Axel acts the same way he did in the Days novel. He stares into the sunset with a wistful expression on his face. And who is it that he sees at that moment? Xion. A being made from Sora’s memories of Kairi. That’s who appears, as if to comfort him and offer him hope that the heart’s connections are never truly lost. I thought Kairi and Lea’s relationship was adorable and so sweet. I just wish they had gone farther with it and included Isa, too.

“I just…want these days to last forever,” Roxas murmured, slow and pensive. “Hanging out after the job’s done, eating ice cream, watching the sunset…”

Axel peered at his profile as he did just that. The sunset’s glow touched Roxas’s face and Xion’s with warm red.

I like how the description of Roxas and Xion’s face in the novel is so similar to what we saw in KH3 with the warm sunlight on Xion. I know Axel was thinking about Isa that day. I believe he was thinking about Isa yet again in KH3. He still feels that they are inseparable. And if Isa was still in the Organization’s clutches, then he would never be free either.

“Well, nothing lasts forever,” Axel mumbled, looking off to the side again. “Least of all for a bunch of Nobodies.”

At that, both of their expressions fell.

Seriously, you two? You’re always grinning or getting bummed out…just like real live people with hearts. Axel exhaled and gathered some words. “But, you know, hanging out every day isn’t the only thing that matters. We’ll still have one another, even if that changes.”

“Really?” Roxas perked up.

“Yeah. As long as we remember one another, we’ll never be apart. Got it memorized?”

Roxas grinned. “Who are you, and what have you done with Axel?”“

Hey! I tried, okay?” All that effort to cheer them up, and they just turned it into a punch line. Chagrined, he looked away.

Xion burst into giggles, and then, as if it was contagious, Roxas started laughing, too.“Oh, c’mon, it’s not that funny!” Axel scolded.

They paused, looked at each other, and giggled again.“I don’t know why I put up with this…”

“But, I mean…it just didn’t sound like you, Axel.” Xion could barely hold in laughter long enough to get the words out.

A wish that they could always be together—was longing for the impossible. But at least they could always remember one another.

They teased him about what he said because he never talked about his true feelings. He likes to give the impression that he’s totally carefree, so as not to be too vulnerable. They genuinely had NO idea how much he was suffering over losing Isa. I’m sure they would have felt horrible for laughing at him if they had the slightest clue what he had been through.

Lea: Now that we’re going back, I’m worried about everything.

Kairi: Well, you don’t have to worry alone anymore, Axel.

And that’s exactly what Kairi offered to Lea. Someone to lean on finally. Plus, Kairi is an established character. If it had been revealed that the girl Lea and Isa wanted to rescue had been her all along, the audience would have far more reason to care. With Skuld, since she’s NOT an established character, (at least in this timeline) they really needed to shoe-horn her in by making her Lea and Isa’s supposed long-lost BFF, despite it being incredibly forced and not very convincing if you think about it for more than 5 seconds. With Kairi, that wouldn’t have been the case.

She already had a history with Lea through KH2 and Xion. She develops a bond with Lea and grows naturally closer to him over the course of the story. I also like that it would have given Kairi a much stronger narrative tie to her final battle with Saïx. The man who kidnapped her is actually a body-hijacked version of the guy who simply wanted to rescue her as a child. That’s really tragic. It’s as tragic as Riku realizing the darkness within him was a body-hijacked version of the special boy who bequeathed him the Keyblade all those years ago. Kairi’s reunion with Isa would have been so heartwarming. But just like with Riku learning about Terra, it never happened.

But yes, if they wanted anyone to actually care about this alleged friendship between Lea, Isa and Skuld, then they should have done a much better job actually incorporating it in the story. Of course, I would bet my next 5 paychecks that the reason they didn’t do this…is because they hadn’t thought of it back then. My guess would be that this idea came to fruition circa 2015. That’s when Nomura is on record saying that they were still unsure of where the series was headed in the future.

There was not a single mention of this girl in the novels. Yet there were numerous hints that something was very unique about Saïx—extremely strong suggestions that he was an unwitting vessel of Xehanort. The situation with his heart is mentioned multiple times by Xigbar, it’s brought up by Namine, and even Xion says that Saïx gives off a strange aura, like how Riku does with Xehanort’s Heartless inside of him. Yet, nary a word about anything even remotely resembling “Subject X”. Nothing.

There was a strange material that enabled one to fly through the Other Sky—Gummi blocks, fallen pieces from that meteor shower. And something about women known as the Princesses of Heart. All these immensely important shards of information began to fit together in Xehanort’s mind.

“What in the world were they talking about?” said Even, who had been trying to eavesdrop.

Xehanort ignored him and continued down the stairs to the basement laboratory. He flung open the door, and the others all turned to him at once.

“Aeleus, where is the girl?” Xehanort asked.

“She’s asleep…” Aeleus pointed to the capsule room in the back.

The girl was very particular—unique among people. They had not been able to create any Heartless using her heart. Perhaps because she was too young, or perhaps…

Xehanort disappeared into the capsule room.

But there IS a mention of Kairi in that laboratory. I like how in the credits for BBS both Lea and Isa look up at the sky, like how Kairi did when her necklace glowed. Almost as if it was to hint at their future connection.

Lea said the same lines, “Why do I always get the icky jobs,” and “I’ll always be there to bring you back,” to Xion in KH Days when he brought her back. Does he remember that?

Nomura: The nature of the being known as Xion and all memories to do with her were erased, but he would remember other things.

They obviously had a MUCH different vision for Isa’s character, even at the time that KH3D and KH2.5 came out. They were building up a far different story for his character right up until the release KH3, when they did a complete U-turn. It was incredibly jarring. The secret ending of 2.5 clearly shows Isa being taken away without his consent and the series Memorial Ultimania (released in 2014) states that he was “retrieved” after Young Xehanort was tracking him with the Recusant’s Sigil on his forehead.

The writers obviously thought that Isa was worthy of having Lea use the same words for him that he used for Roxas and Xion. Lea had a dream of Roxas telling him he made them a promise. As soon as he woke up, he went searching for someone, even putting himself at great risk by using the Door to Darkness. Well, he wasn’t looking for Roxas. Roxas was Sora’s Nobody, and Lea gave up on turning Sora back into a Nobody. That’s what his entire character arc was all about in KH2. No, he was looking for Isa.

Yet regarding KH3, here’s what Nomura said according the to the Ultimania translations from this thread:

Saïx rejoined the Organization to atone for what he did in the past. He drifted away from Axel and put Roxas through a lot because of his jealousy and displeasure, but vowed to do good for the sake of both Axel and Roxas.

I swear, the first time I read this, it put me in such a bad mood. Not only was it SO blatantly inconsistent with what we saw in the cutscenes, everything being set up by the story’s morals and themes, and everything being foreshadowed in the novels…but it also felt so…cruel and victim-blaming.

Q: Who are the thirteen researchers of darkness?

A: Thirteen seekers of darkness that share a consciousness and heart with Master Xehanort, serving as raw material for the X-Blade. In this game, they failed in their attempts to make Sora the 13th of their ranks, but who’s to become the 13th in his stead? And who are the six whose identities have not been revealed?

If Isa was indeed made a vessel as a teenager, (and it was HEAVILY implied that he was), why should he have to “atone” for anything? When someone becomes a vessel, their heart is captured by Xehanort. Or “swallowed,” to use another word used in an interview translation.

Q: I want to ask about Terranort. When Ansem SOD and Xemnas were defeated in KH1 and 2, were both Master Xehanort and Terra revived?

A: Ordinarily, Terra should have been revived at that point, but because his body was possessed by Xehanort, his heart didn’t return, and only his body did. That body was used as the vessel for the heart of Terra (from BBS) that was called from the past.

When Xemnas was defeated, Nomura said that Terra’s heart didn’t return to his body; it was still captured and in Xehanort’s clutches. If Isa was a vessel too, then there’s no reason his heart would have returned to his body, either. They can’t have it both ways. They can’t say that Terra had no free will in Xemnas’ atrocities and then say that Isa has to “atone” for what Saïx did. Does Terra have to atone for Apprentice Xehanort and Xemas’ actions? The ultimate question is… was Isa a vessel all along, or was he not? Enough waffling on this issue. Make up your damn mind.

Also the whole concept of joining the New Organization to atone is just utter brain-dead nonsense, no matter how you spin it. How is a person supposed to do anything good when they let Xehanort capture their heart, allowing him to share a consciousness with them? Shouldn’t giving up your heart have… I dunno…consequences?

When someone loses their heart, they lose the ability to feel, to care, to have empathy. Isn’t that the entire reason Axel suffered so much? From not having a heart? He forgot how to feel or experience love. It was Roxas, Xion and Sora who made him feel like he had a heart again. Indeed, they allowed him to nurture and grow a heart again. Besides, just look how Saïx acted when he had no heart! Yet here I’m being told that Saïx is going to “atone” by giving up his heart? LOL, yeah right.

Even if you hypothetically assume he was NOT a vessel, losing his heart made Saïx a sociopathic zombie. That’s supposedly why he “drifted away” from Axel, right? How is he going to do anything altruistic in that condition? Not to mention that Saïx was so utterly miserable without a heart, that I just cannot see him giving it up as soon as he got it back, under ANY circumstances (well, maybe to save Lea). There’s also another issue: the continuity being drawn between Isa and Saïx. The writers went TOTALLY out of their way to make Saïx as villainous and nasty as possible. As a die-hard Isa fan, this is sad for me to admit. But I don’t even think his actions in KH3 made him feel like he really fit in with the rest of the cast during the ending.

And then there’s the revelation that Saïx initially became Xehanort’s lapdog for Skuld. I’m sure she’d be very…touched…to find out that Isa sacrificed his morals, fought his friends and helped a madman usher in the apocalypse, all for her. Such a nice foundation for a healthy relationship. All for a girl he isn’t sure even existed. I won’t mince words. When Lea said to Isa that he thought this was “all for her” it made me want to throw up. That’s how revolting that idea was to me. The idea that “Isa” became “Saïx” for a girl.

That doesn’t even get into the whole Replica Program and what a goofball subplot that was. The Replica Program was not even finished when Vexen was eliminated. Now all of a sudden it can grant flesh-and-blood bodies, as soon as a heart is inserted? Yeah, okay. And Saïx knew all along that Vexen would be perfectly willing to come along and work on these replicas, too? And he also knew that Roxas and Xion could just jump out of Sora’s heart into the replicas? Whatever you say, game.  

And I must say: it was so ridiculous how Saïx is supposed to be “atoning” while he’s beating the shit out of Lea, or at least standing there watching Xemans do it. Why couldn’t Saïx and Vexen atone for their actions as, ya know…regular people? They could help the good guys defeat Xehanort and then worry about replicas. Though I still say Isa should have to atone for nothing.

But why join Xehanort and help him usher in the Apocalypse? Oh right. Because that was the only excuse the writers could come up with to justify Roxas and Xion coming back physically in the plot. The replicas were such a waste of screen-time in KH3. That whole subplot should have been dropped a long time ago. As far as I’m concerned, Isa’s character arc was sacrificed at the altar of shallow fanservice to bring back Roxas and Xion at the very end. They had no business coming back as separate characters from Kairi and Ventus, if that’s the best way Nomura could come up with to make it happen.

In order to bring them back, the following things had to happen in the story:

Isa’s entire character arc and redemption got turned into a sick joke.  

The whole fascinating concept of the Recusant’s Sigil needed to be thrown out, in order to give Saïx enough agency to “atone” and procure the replicas.

Vexen and Demyx have to act totally OOC, join up with Xehanort despite having no good reason to, then complain about getting “benched”. Because they had NO reason to be there other than the replicas.

The entire awesome and dark concept of the Seekers of Darkness being unwilling flesh puppets (”raw material”) had to be thrown in the trash.

It ruined the tension of Organization XIII’s search for the 13th vessel by making Vexen and Demyx “reserve” members

Replicas became a deus-ex-machina for Xehanort to use as his vessels.

Nobody could use common sense and question the obvious connection between Roxas and Ventus, stalling the search for Ventus and the 7 Guardians of Light.