Brave | E.M.
I write this lil fic-let one shot Drabble thing for @luveline . Jade has been providing us with some *Chefs Kiss* top notch work always. I saw someone finally ask her what she wanted to see written, so I snaked one of the prompts from her response. ily Jade thank you for putting out banger after banger for us <3
There is a stark difference in your personage when you cross the threshold of the nearly-cardboard trailer walls. It was as if they were a portal and not mere plywood and tin. Corrugated bravery. A diamond in the rough.
He took notice of the way your legs crossed at the ankles instead of the knees. You breathed a little deeper and hunched a little further. You discarded your own rigidity at the door like a woolen coat, discarding the itch of your own painful self-awareness with it.
Out there, your words were careful and calculated, kept at a minimal volume and never daring. Your words came out in the most Times New Roman-esque way he could possibly think of. Your face was a stone, keeping every semblance of composure you could muster at any given time. Out there, you were graceful.
Here, though, you seemed more organic. Your words were slightly more abstract, coming out of your throat as it came to your mind. Here, you were more obnoxious, you laughed from your core, your body moved with it in a calculated dance. Your face was a mirror image of your brain.
He felt lucky. He was a Cour de Miracles insider watching you peel the leprosy-laden sore of your own hyper awareness back. He never looked for too long, this rare state still wavering in your own insecurity. .
Eddie ebbed and flowed with whatever person you decided to be that day. He always had a coat to match your hat. He loved every version of you, even if he did it in silence.
But tonight, you were a republic of voices. He knew how you would react to this mixtape- you always reacted this way to this mixtape. Head accepted long ago that music was your first love, and that even he couldn’t scrape past it in the confines of your heart.
He laid back, the hum of the speakers fading into the background as he tried to feel the vibrato of your voice in his chest- so stark from your usual barely-above-whisper notes.
“I love when you’re like this.”
The phrase slipped from his mouth- his speculation missing the filter and funneling into the direct pipeline from his brain to his mouth and spilling from his lips like a broken dam.
“Like what?” You questioned, body already buzzing less than it had been seconds ago.
“When you get excited. You talk louder.” He explained, knowing he was already in deeper than he expected.
“Oh… sorr-”
“No, honey. Not sorry. Never have to be sorry with me.”
He was quick to reach out, arms sliding across your triceps and around your back- arms a blanket of please, thank you, I��m sorry, and I love you. Moreso the latter part.
Your head rested just below his collarbone, on the plush of his chest. All of the smells that made you wrinkle your nose in distaste now smelled like home. Behind the fresh burn of the still-lingering cigarette smoke, Eddie smelled so distinctly human. He radiated warmth like the best parts of a sunburn. He was all of the best things about the human experience in one tangible being.
“Hey, Eddie?” You asked, pulling your face off of the soft warmth of him.
“Yes?” He asked, chin wrinkling when he pulled back to took at you- his arms never leaving your back fully.
“Do you like me better when I’m… ugh, I don’t know… like this?” You asked, sheepishly, your arms snaking between two bodies to bury your face in.
“What do you mean?” He ran his hand gently up and down your back, slow, in a you’re okay kind of way.
“Do you wish I was braver?” You asked, noise muffled from between your hands. He reached up to pull them from your face, wrists locked in a grasp.
“Sweetheart, absolutely not. Where did this come from?” His gaze was intense, eyes worried and brows furrowed in concern. His expression, though worrisome, radiated nothing but love from its confines.
“I don’t know, I just- ugh, don’t you wish you were with someone like you?” You asked, more broken than before. You willed the tears not to fill your eyes, especially not at something a remedial as the tone of your voice.
“Like me how?” He mimicked your tone, his own growing soft to match yours.
“Oh come on, Eddie. Loud, walking around on tables and up on a stage… Brave.”
“No. I don’t. I fell in love with you. Didn’t I?” He asked, dropping his grip on one of your hands to smooth the hair on the back of your head in a loving cradle. He couldn’t help but to press a kiss, molasses sweet, to your forehead.
“But do you love this part of me more?” You asked him, sheepishly. He felt his heart shatter in his chest. He wanted to rip it out and eat it if it meant you never felt like this again.
“No.” He said, pressing a kiss to your lips. And then another. And then another. Each one a bandage for every pinprick against your own heart from insecurity.
“I love every part of you.”
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